#idk how I am still here tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadbeatdyslexic · 11 months

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Somtimes i see mental health like a car

A normal nice looking car that everyone wants to buy and own = mentally stable

A banged-up piece of sh!t that looks like it’s going to break down and fall apart in the middle of the road (you are also surprised it has lasted this long, and it will last for much longer than it should) but it’s affordable = me

#meme #lol #mental health #im fine #lol memes #idk how I am still here tbh #mental illness #cars #mentally stable #that ain't me #food for thought #relatable memes #funny

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turtleblogatlast · 5 months

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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.

And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.

Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.

(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #trans leonardo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #trans leo #it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys #totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr #his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain #plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help #(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation #and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res #love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there #and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here #did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense

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hue-makes-burgers · 1 year

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i think you guys like captain underpants so i should share some doodles i think…

this bit’s from the book

this line from the book has become like an inside joke it’s so silly how krupp is like ACTUALLY INTERESTED in the ring

extra sillies

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xproskeith · 29 days

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Do I post (on Tumblr) a few shirtless (but still partly covered bc arms) pics I took for a discord with some buddies where we post to promote body positivity and progress? Or do I just keep them to myself and that server lmao

#Me #Personal #I still am not happy with how I look shirtless tbh #Still have The Belly #And I've never posted a shirtless Pic here just a few gym pics #Idk #Well that's not true there's my bachelor party pics lol #But still idk #It may help the self esteem #But also still embarrassing #Then again Tumblr is like the one place I could dump it and be fine #Not like I've just dumped my entire inner monologue here before

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todayisafridaynight · 5 months

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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

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aroaessidhe · 6 months

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2024 reads / storygraph

The Saint of Bright Doors

a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world

follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader

but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life

he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more

and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends

#the Saint of Bright Doors #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol #it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly???#It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way #The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff.#The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm #but also I am happy to float through on vibes.#and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say #that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it)#writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end!#which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure.#I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but #then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here.#also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a #kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing #rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance)#idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall #also it is full of queerness #bisexual books

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doukeshi-kun · 22 days

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vent in the tags lol i'll delete later, that is if i remember

#vent ahead #suicide mention ahead #ed too ig #having a very not mentally well episode by yourself is tough huh #i haven't been nice to myself #i keep thinking about suicide #i find myself sabotaging my own health. i'm starving myself. i don't eat well. and i hate that i keep doing this #my head is hurting bcs i have been crying for a while #and i only have a lifeless teddy bear to hug and cry with #how lonely can you be when you only have a plushie to cry with #tbh i'm extremely jealous seeing people receiving love #like how tf do you guys achieve such accomplishment lmao #i need to really sleep. i hope i dont wake up #if i do; idk i'll continue writing chapter 7 or something #im trying to find a reason tbh #bcs wtf am i still doing here anyway #god take me out

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mushed-kid · 29 days

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gonna sound dumb for a minute.

actually,,,, i dont think i want to do biology💀😭

#i just read So Much #and i cant remember stuff #and its honestly not even that interesting yet at least #and tbh iregret doing this cause wtf am i even doing brooooooo #self sabotaging max #because even if i somehow pull all my exams off and get this qualifications. im not gonna actually Know the stuff #and okay my point was that even if i do get these qualifications and my grades arent low enough to totally fuck up my scores #then im gonna have to move out. Next Year. i cant do that #i cant adult #how are people my age so Grown. wtf im still 8 istg #i dont wanna move out #im gonna have to just change my plan i wanna live at home until i get kicked out #ueydhshebrhryfhry #hey if all fails i’ll just find something else to do. like work in kindergarddn that education sounds more chill #maybe its not idk im not gonna do that #anyway #i lost my point here idk what i was talking about #oh yeah i think i just dont like school #why cant i just be on my phone and have fun looking at gay stuff and talking to my friends like puhleeasseeeeeeed #do u guys think stay at home malewife that does nothing to help out is a possible option

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zeb-z · 9 months

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“Even if it’s not my fault, it’s still my accident, it’s still my mess. It’s still something that - exists, because I do” oh. and he just doesn’t know another way to help, either, because all his life has been screwing up without helpful direction in order to meet impossible standards, and so there is no other way than to bleed himself dry. for the cause, for a friend in need, for anyone he doesn’t know. especially for the problems that he himself creates, because to him his pure existence has always been the problem, because the elders were fucked as hell and traumatized him to no end - so even causing problems is a sin. a single mistake is a sin. it always has been. and it’s rough trying to learn anything other than that mindset - but Jay and Chip won’t let him struggle alone.

and it’s like - that’s what comes with being raised the way he was. punished for imperfection, but there’s no guidebook, no definition of perfect. and so perfect is never good enough anyway. it’s a trap and there is no winning, so there’s nothing else to do but take the blame and bear it, and internalize it. and it makes actual failure and actual mistakes that much more painful. of course responsibility needs to be taken for your actions - but when you’ve been taking responsibility for everything, up to and including the literal fate of the world, all of your life, every outcome is your fault. and guilt only builds, and resentment only festers. of course he hates the elders for how they treated him. of course he hates himself.

he’s grabbing his own destiny and making his own choices - but the thing about making your own choices is that there are so many of them. there’s no destiny to blame anymore. and all you can do is the best you can. and it’s not always going to be good enough. he’s learned plenty about failure, but with Jay and Chip around, maybe he’ll learn about second chances, and self forgiveness. maybe he’ll learn that accidents aren’t always met with extremes. and that he’s not the only one left to deal with a mess if he slips up and breaks something.

#after their talk and their big spar part 2 and everything I’m choosing to hope for the up and up #I just. I dunno. again. y’all ever think about how he never lays on hands to heal himself? because I do #I’m calling it what it is tw for the tags here but #passive suicidality. and it’s scary and tough to deal with especially under these conditions he’s under and it’s like #he’s someone who can be seen as bigger than life almost a moral role model. a hero of sorts. and still he thinks he’ll never be good enough #abuse will do that to a mf #but like. idk jay shot him and he forgave her. and chip can be a downright bastard and he still cares for him. as much as his own #morals and nature have rubbed off on the other captains they’ve also rubbed off on him. I mean sarcasm? pranks?#chip is valuing others more and more. and so maybe gillion will value himself more and more. yknow?#after every mistake he’s made and the others have made they’re still crew. family. and ain’t that somethin?#I dunno. taking responsibility isn’t just bleeding yourself out as retribution. there has to be a balance. and for gillion (and chip tbh)#that’s difficult. and something I am hoping they will continue improving on #idk. I have many thoughts without full articulation I’m just kinda spinning them all in my brain yknow #jrwi riptide 86 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #character analysis #z speaks

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guinevereslancelot · 2 months

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not to be ungrateful but i don't get paid enough at my job lol

#the problem with jobs that people do bc they love the work is that it doesn't pay well and you will be overworked to death #genuinely couldn't quit bc i love the kids too much already but 15 an hour is....not ideal tbh....#how am i supposed to make future plans in these conditions #i cant ask for a raise ive only worked here 3 months but ugh #the only reason i got hired is i finally broke my rule abt the minimum hourly rate i was willing to accept #i applied to the two 14-16 an hour jobs and used the one i already accepted to get this one to gove me 15 instead of 14 #but that's still not a lot tbh #need to buy an oven since we havent had a working one since january #and i keep gping ok next time i get paid i will buy an oven #and it hasnt happened yet #and i need.....17k to invest in starting my own business and i will not see a return on that for a very long time 😭#and i have no idea where that money will be coming from lol #fortunately its not that time sensitive except it kind of needs to happen in the next year or two probably but idk #if i dont do what i need to do idk what will happen but i think the issue will become more expensive but also maybe less expensive #but also uglier and make my neighbors mad #but i have no choice but to wait bc i have no money for that lol #anyway #17k is my immediate expense but i also need to come up with the money to eventually buy my parents house somehow #and i dont even make enough to pay the mortgage 😭#fortunately i dont need to do that for a long time but...eventually #anywayssss #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #i do love working with kids but jts hard work and all my coworkers are petty and hate eachother so its a lot #and i dont make enough money to live fr #im so lucky i live w my parents bc nobody at my job makes enough to live on their own lol #also the sheep that are supposed to be clearing brush got sick and went back to their farm and they're not coming back this year at all #so we need to brush hog it #or contract another farm #im not sure if its even safe w their poop all over the place snd im not getting any communication from the farmers #but it lowkey might be better to get our own sheep but thats so much work i dont want to think abt doing livestock

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carpisuns · 1 year

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theOrEticalLy . if I opened commissions at some point. would there be. a smackerel of interest . ??

#i have never opened them bc it’s intimidating and I don’t know how to price things!!#but mostly bc i work full time w a good salary so I don’t really need side things to make money #like it feels selfish to suggest that people should pay me to make fanart?? When #a) I already do that for free bc i enjoy it lol #and b) there are so many creators out there who are struggling to make ends meet #and I am privileged enough to generally not have to worry about that #this would be just like extra spending money to fund my scented candle habit DHDJDN #and the clothes I just bought while trying to Discover My Vibe and Finally Be Myself (at age 28 lol)#also tbh it would likely be reinvested in other commissions bc I buy commissions fairly often lol #anyway. idk the idea of commissions always sounded cool but also guilt inducing and scary #it feels weird and silly bc it would make me have to take my art seriously if that makes sense??#like me saying ‘I think I’m good enough at art that people would buy it from me.’ that feels so bold and like. arrogant or something dhjsjd #coming from me I mean. just a silly little guy who still struggles to draw human limbs properly #ok I’m thinking about how I’d have to make a commission sheet and put a dollar sign on my art and I’m aaaaaaa #and I’d have to execute exactly what people want and what if I can’t!!!#omg ok maybe noT help lol #well im not committing to anything rn im simply. asking a question while the dash is asleep and then running off to bed seeya #i think part of me always wanted to try commissions to see if I could be a Real Artist about it ??#and potentially end up with like. Portfolio pieces ??#why I would need an art portfolio I don’t know. I am an editor. What do I think I will be doing here #ppl left comments on my animatic that have been giving me crazy what if thoughts. sit down #don’t look at me #ohhh swirly brain thoughts I need to sleep

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loumauve · 13 days

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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it #there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again #but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned #so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot #anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account #or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one #or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun #just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake #oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess #god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit #and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave #and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so #which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh #but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose #that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10 #and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in #we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of #next week we'll likely be 4 #depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel #sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere #but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg #a day in the life of..

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moe-broey · 3 months

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Heard it was Terrible Comics Day 🤔

A spin on a post that has been living in my head and in my drafts for A Long Time Now, since like. It's just so funny w them in particular. They're the same guy (kind of.)

Inspo under cut!

#moe tag #mani tag #i had it in my head to draw this post for so fucking long. maybe this is how it was meant to be.#idk if there's a maintag for this specific ass holiday and tbh. i'm not gonna.#if mani breaches containment i'm gonna cry. put that thing back where it came from OR SO HELP ME #i usually dress down moe for dreamrealm headspace shenanigans but it has its weapon here.#so like. impulsively i gave it its robe. but maybe that's just part of the dream too.#i feel like moe's dressed down look emphasizes/highlights how they are the same person though #still. if the mission is for it to be 'bad' then i am making impulsive decisions and little to no corrections LMFAO 👍👍👍#i WAS thinking about mani today.... i wish i had more time to draw today 😔😔😔#my art #my comics

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unnonexistence · 4 months

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im going to have to rewatch pacific rim again and take my own notes on the timeline because the timeline given on the wiki makes NO SENSE. supposedly the double event was jan. 8 and pitfall was jan. 12, but newt was in the bone slums from before otachi's attack right up until his drift with hermann, which was DURING pitfall. you cannot tell me that was four days.

#im just sitting here looking at that like. sorry what #NO SENSE!!!!#even if you say the double event was just before midnight and pitfall was just after midnight so theyre only TECHNICALLY on the 8th and 12t #that's still a full 72 hours #i have a feeling the dates given in the movie dont make a ton of sense either tbh #but they cant be THAT bad #it contradicts the dialogue!!!! newt is like 'i haven't exactly had a very good day' when he's talking to hermann #it also contradicts hermann's predictive model i think?#before the double event (idk how long it's probably a few days) he says 'in 4 days we could be seeing a kaiju every 8 hours'#i think it makes way more sense for it to be around 8 hours between the double and triple events lol #but. yeah. need to take notes #unscientific aside #one date i AM taking as canon from the wiki is knifehead being on feb 29 though #because that is soooo narratively juicy #the whole thing about pilots being celebrities & ''we got really good at it. winning.''#raleigh taking it for granted they're going to win. ''5th notch on the belt''

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zkretchy · 10 months

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Randomly thought of an oldie but a goodie and decided to (re)draw this lil guy just to see how much my artstyle has change and/or improved as well from //squints October 2015 ......where the fuck did time go

anyhow here is the october one i was digging for

#zkretchy #art #ocs #randomly thought of aka went through old writing and remembered i did smth for him and others #so here we are #i havent decided on a name still btw #i AM WORKING ON IT OKAY #it's been 8years he can wait a little longer for a final one...or any at all #anyhow i do like this comparison wise bc it's also cool to see how rendering and colour choices have changed tbh #i do like the juicy colours i used back then in many pics #but i just don't vibe with the workflow anymore #idk it's weird to explain workflow and colours together

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emily-mooon · 2 months

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ohhh alright uhhhhh zukka :3

Hello Ryan!

I’m going to admit, because of your reblogs about them (whether it be fanart or text posts), I started to ship them a bit :3

#when I first watched atla #i didn’t really have any zukko ships as I was (and tbh still am) a kataang shipper #i like the dynamic for zukka a lot it’s perfection #also btw thank you for sending this ask in!#send me asks about different ships and I’ll tell you m opinion on it #<- adding this here cause idk how to link to the askbox from a phone and atm I’m away from my laptop #mutuals! :)

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