#idk how that ended up popping up in an internal monologue on the page tho

[thefandomlesbian]

Sometimes my rough draft looks like poetry.

Sometimes my rough draft looks like a random internal monologue about the process of baptism. Literally, thinking, hm, it's really strange that an adult person puts their hand over another adult person's face and dunks their whole fully clothed body in water and then the greater church celebrates for some reason. Who came up with that.

(Of course one of those things will be edited out. But the fact remains that it came out of me for some reason.)

[corfisers]

Same anon here and please, pop off about ryuuzaki, anytime. Especially paralleled to Doumeki. I was rereading vol 5 and 6 (let me tell you that I needed that bc I'm so dumb that this is the first time that I noticed that the yakuza who was caught having sex with Y and expelled HAS A SCAR IN THE SAME CHEEK AS D. I lost my mind,,,,) and in the official translation of my country there a difference that made me connect by contrast R and D.

In the eng trl that you can find online, when Y and R talk in the police car after R was rescued (and arrested), R first thinks "if you were a women, I would have protected you" and this is the same in my copy of the manga BUT a few pages later in my version R thinks "if I died, I wouldn't want him to know" and "if he protects me, I can't take care of him" VS "you'll find out over my dead body!" and "I can't believe he is the one protecting me!" in the eng vers.

The meaning may be somewhat the same but DAMN, the feeling behind it is radically heavier in my version.

I like better my country's version just because at the beginning of vol 6 when doumeki realises that he has been left behind and finds the two cleaners, the same words came up. D says "take me to the boss because I am the only one who can protect me, you wouldn't be able to" and the cleaner scoffs at him "you are the one who is been protected" -and that is the same in the online eng translation. That's something good to chew on, at least for me.

THAT SAID (I am very verbose, I am sorry), tysm for your in depth response at my last ask, it was a super good read and after thinking about it, I agree to your points. Especially because kou Yoneda is a master of silent storytelling, I'm always in awe of her use of silent panels. Her pure visual storytelling is where the worst sucker punches come from. Sometimes more subtle than others, you are right about that, but still very very much a storytelling choice.

hi anon, i'm glad you enjoyed my reply to your last ask, and thank you for giving me more food for thought! i do want to talk about ryuzaki at some point, both in general and specifically the parallels between him and doumeki. i'd need to reread some parts to refresh my memory and take a closer look at him first tho. ryuzaki's one of the characters who i wasn't paying super close attention to initially, but he grew on me over time, in a weird way. like moss

putting some stuff regarding translation and other things under read more (for my poor followers' dashboard experiences sake)

i looked at the original text for the part you're talking about, and i want to say that the translation you have in your version is closer to the original. it's something like "if i died, i wouldn't want him to know [about the stupid thoughts i had back then]" in reference to ryuzaki wanting to protect yashiro if he was a woman. no idea how to put the other sentence nicely in english (the one about how ryuzaki can't take care of yashiro if he's the one being protected), but again, your version seems to be more accurate, and it nicely parallels the part with doumeki. also worth noting that ryuzaki isn't exactly throwing "!" in his internal monologue here at the end of the sentences, and in the drama cd for that part he sounds pretty calm and i guess just… sad. i've noticed some punctuation changes in the translation before and they shift the tone slightly, guess it's one of those cases. wish i had junemanga's translation on hand, but i can't buy it because my country sucks (might ask a friend to buy me the digital version at some point, but idk if it's worth it since there's a lot of mistranslations in it based on what i've seen)

all that being said, my japanese isn't exactly great, neither is my english if we're being honest, so while i can point out and check some things here and there i am definitely not an expert when it comes to translation and i'm only like 70% confident in what i'm saying. just wanted to talk about this because you made me curious and i never bothered to compare the texts for this part before. and i still really appreciate all the work actual translators put in, even if there are some inconsistencies or differences here and there

moving on from the translation stuff - if you get involved with yashiro in some way i guess you're destined to get a cut on the cheek, because nanahara got one recently as well. we only see yashiro slapping the band-aid over it, so idk how the actual cut looks and there might be nothing much to it, but it's still a neat little detail

don't have much to say regarding the visual story telling, i agree with you, it's great, some of the best pages have no words on them, i'm obsessed with yoneda kou's art and she's been a huge inspiration for me since i got into saezuru. love her work so so so much

but yeah, uh, thank you again for the ask, both the previous and this one, i love having an excuse to blabber about saezuru or go look at specific scenes/chapters! going to think real hard about ryuzaki and try to organize my thoughts about him and write up something in the future