#idk i feel like catholics would be good in bed.

[diamondnokouzai]

are there any catholics here. are you guys down to fuck or are you too transphobic.

[saint-ambrosef]

So idk about your local area, but one thing I've found is that being in your 20s and married eventually makes you the Cool Young Married Couple in Catholic groups, and you can take younger singles under your wing

My spouse and I are the least cool people imaginable, but we are 1) married and 2) the right age for young adult groups, so all these gangly new grads just decided that we're role models and we formed a friend group that way. I know that doesn't help much right now, but it genuinely feels 23-26 is the desert of despair for all parts of life and then suddenly you have a place again. Don't lose hope, you're seriously going through the worst part right now

We have other married friends now, so we're in a good place socially, but boy was it hard to find them.

It's not that the 20-something singles in the young adults groups don't want to be friends, that's not the problem at all. It's moreso that it is difficult on a practical level to develop close friendships with them, because we're just in such different stages of life with different priorities.

Examples: bachelors can decide on a whim to just go hang out at a bar at 9:00pm; my husband would rather be home with his wife by that time. My friends who have babies can't go to the 7:30pm young adult events because that's their kid's bed time. I don't go out to lunch with my young and single co-workers because we have a strict eating out budget as a result of saving for a house. We can still be friends with single peeps, it's just harder.

It's so much easier to be close friends with other married couples because they just get it. I planned our Christmas Party last year to start early so that all the baby parents could attend well before bedtimes. My female married friends and I meet up once a month for drinks and we talk primarily about marriage/child-rearing -- something I can't do at my young adult women's group (wherein everyone but me is single). My husband can talk to other married men about the philosophy of being a good husband/father and the challenges of implementing that in daily life. We hope to get to a point where we can have play dates for our (future) kids.

It is so important that young married Catholics have a community of their own, but I've never seen parishes that facilitate that in any way. We don't really belong in YA groups, but there's no other alternative, so we just have to like....make do and hope we get lucky and find other married couples there.

[steelthroat]

Art school is either the best thing in the world or the worst. Like... it's cool. You meet cool people and all, but in my experience, it can genuinely suck the joy of doing art out of you.

Just started my last year today, and I already want to either blow things up or just lay in bed and wait for the end of the year, hoping it will be better than the last, get my piece of paper that says "yeah you're good to go" and fuck off never to be seen again by my professors ever again✨️

At some point, I'm going to write about some of them because my memory is shit and I need to have proofs if I have to recount the things happening in my life. Seriously, it's funny... or tragic, idk.

Sometimes it doesn't even feel real, you know? Some people are just walking caricatures... and they are currently teaching.

To name some of these characters:

•Old man, who looks like Kermit and likes Gorillaz and Sandman, thinks the government is trying to turn mosquitoes into biological weapons, has weird ideas on vaccines, science, and... and he teaches physics and math.

•Serial cheater plays the father figure role with his students, successfully alienates two talented artists (secretly vilulnerable people who needed help), inflating their egos and making them become the most hated students in the entire institute. All while being a creep and an asshole but a self-righteous one... (But wait, there's more)

•The fanatic-crazy-eyed-Catholic-mother that defended abusive parents saying that sometimes children are "just a lot to deal with and parents make mistakes", makes borderline proana comments and didn’t want to let me go to the bathroom when I had my period because... idk I didn't greet her??? She told me to get a confessor for my grandma, who had a seizure(????) Because it would help her?????(but WAIT, THERE'S MORE). It's so funny when she treats us like lost, godless toddlers when we're... just ✨️godless adults✨️

•the recently-divorced asshole who screams his frustrations away at his students, no one knows where to find him because his favorite hobby is to ✨️vanish✨️ during our classes and then is surprised when we don't continue the projects (honey I'd gladly do it... IF I FUCKING KNEW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO)

•the self-righteous snarky, incompetent but somewhat submissive asshole who just loves to let you know she's judging you

There are other incredible characters, but these will be enough for today.

[anders-hawke]

Oh, 100%. And young starry-eyed Scully in love with her professor, while adorable, is EXTRA creepy when you realize she didn't even know he was still married (at least that was GA's intention) and left after she found out. YIKES. And yes about Maggie. And I totally get your point about 30+. I differ slightly (25+ is my range, because the brain is fully formed at 25, etc.); but I don't think all the precautions in the world would have helped the disaster that was the Waterston situation.

I think GA was going for redemption arc and closing up old wounds and insecurities, but needed a two-parter to resolve it all. Or, hot take, I think it would be better to cut out the tea shop lady-- she really only exists to give Scully the moral. I love it more when Scully comes upon the answers in her own agency: her decision for Emily in the Emily arc, letting Emily go in All Souls, not killing Ruiz Cardinale in revenge for her sister, etc. There is usually no handholding for Scully, and it shows her moral strength and practical wisdom in sorting out the threads of her life in ways that she can live with. That's another thing-- Orison ended too soon, not showing Scully's important growth through that episode's conclusion. Or maybe she didn't resolve it yet, and carried that pain through En Ami and into All Things; in which case maybe mention it a little.

BUT, for a first time script? It's really good. So props to GA-- she's got more guts than I would for a first time writer on a highly successful show. AND DIRECTING?? The girl was left w/ all the blame if it plopped or succeeded, and she took that all on her shoulders willingly. You gotta admire that she takes on challenges that could daunt a lesser man.

Oh, yes, for a first time script it’s super good! And, honestly, it’s really rare to have the first draft of any script be all that great, either, haha. It takes a lot of revision and critiques to get it right. I think it would’ve been better to tackle this issue + Mulder and Scully finally getting together in a two-parter just so everything could have the time it needed to really work right. Gillian (and David) writes Mulder and Scully in such a unique and beautiful way and you can definitely see that. I absolutely love the last scene (except for that outdated music). After all those years of pretending that she’s fine in front of him, Scully finally opens up with no qualms and feels so comfortable that she can fall asleep next to him on the couch. That trust and security.

I can’t take “Orison” seriously, honestly, but I think that’s just my personal bias talking. (Damn, I hate Catholicism.) I just don’t think it makes sense for Scully to fall back on her religion and assume that it had to have been the devil because she’s never before shown any indication that she would feel that much guilt for shooting such a terrible person. And it’s like, if he was able to escape once, the prospect of locking him up again doesn’t very well make you feel safe and secure??? Like, if she’d been like, “I think the devil was influencing my actions,” I could’ve accepted that, but the impression I got was that she was saying he fully took control of her in that moment. Idk, I generally just leave it as “blegh, Catholic bs” lol.

Anyways, yes, I think the fact that after all that, we didn’t really see Scully make an active choice between Daniel and Mulder was a disservice. (I also passionately despise the teaser for the episode but I’ll let that sit lol.) Like choosing to trust Mulder and be by his side is a big difference between the choice to have sex with him for the first time. Those are different intimacies. They’re not dependent on each other, you know? I think the teaser would work if we saw them snuggled in bed together. That implies the deliberate and continuous choice to be together—to be intimate in that way.

And, yeah, Gillian Anderson steps up to bat a lot. Very much a role model in that respect.

[atouchofireland]

Hey! It’s me, the same theorizing anon here to add to your theories for the rest of the season! I feel like since they decided to end the scene with them apart, rather than in the hug we never should’ve seen, that is really showing where Liv is at right now. I know a lot of people want them to cross the line in one way or another, and they think her not being ready is ridiculous, since she’s loved him all this time. However, I think that she’s spent the last quarter century(!!) sublimating her feelings into a real sacrificial love like we don’t see in media enough. “Paternity” always stands out to me as showing the depth of their relationship and of the ends she will go to for the man she loves. That kind of sacrifice to not even think, but to save the one boundary keeping them apart was just so powerful, and why that hug stands out to me the most. Anyway, I think it would be asking too much, especially to have them jump into bed, but maybe even to kiss anytime soon. I also think she deserves a lot more than that. I still see him as a good Catholic, and I would love to see a proper courting of her that would lead to marriage. In the meantime, I hope we get some more conversation scenes. They could even be done on the phone to make things simpler logistically, but I still don’t think the powers that be have the guts to do much of anything else in the foreseeable future. I hope I’m wrong! 😭

I do love the Paternity hug, especially because of Chris's explanation of what he was intending in that scene, sort of letting go of the possibility of Liv. I would love for a date night or just some good convo scenes buuut based off of last season and how little crossovers there were in the second half, I really don't think they'll devote that kind of time to EO (even though they deserve it!). I mean even this episode it was only like 2 minutes of Chris. I have a feeling something big and/or life-threatening will happen to one of them that will have Liv moving things forward. I really don't know about anything physical, but I could see a voiced "I love you" from Liv at the end of the season. Since we've heard it from Elliot and from 3 other people on OC ABOUT Elliot's feelings, it coming from Liv TO him would be the ultimate step really. I'd REALLY love if she said something about ALWAYS being in love with him, because it'd tie into 1.0 so much more and be more meaningful but idk that might be pushing it.

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

nart ships: a (very long winding tangent-ed) summary

danzen: hiruzen and danzo. they are not officially together and they never will be because of the nationalism. hiruzen is selfish and doesn't want danzo to die because he loves him. he would much rather sacrifice himself for his sake so that he doesnt have to live with the aftermath of losing him. classic hiruzen trait!!!! doesnt make moves because he also loves inaction. danzo is selfless to a fault and also applies this selflessness to everyone else whether they like it or not. the ends justify the means!!! (he has forgotten what the ends were). he doesnt make moves because of the catholic guilt. they pine after each other silently and occasionally send assassins after each other and then feel bad about the indulgence. fascinating.

the kakashi polycule: kakashi is a sex-repulsed gay demiromantic but he feels most comfortable not referring to his relationships in romantic terms regardless of whether or not the involved parties reciprocate romantic feelings. qprs for life baby!!! obito gai iruka and zabuza are usually my go-tos. all of them are desperately in love with him (the sad wet horse appeal. you know how it is.) but through sheer proximity they also get entangled with each other. mostly sexually. every single possible combination is terrible and everyone is aware of this and it is funny as hell. gai cant remember anyone but kakashis name but he objectively the best one in bed so thats just something they all have to live with. iruka wants to leave but he never does. he never leaves. he has no one but himself to blame.

tenzo: hes transmasc hes so transmasc and he's also gay and demiromantic and asexual. but i think he's pretty sex-positive and doesnt mind participating, even if he doesnt really get anything out of it. he and kakashi are also in a qpr but tenzo is not touching the rest of the polycule with a ten foot pole <3

minakushi: saw a post last week suggesting transfem 4 transfem minakushi and ive been obsessing over it ever since. the vibes are impeccable. war criminal no thoughts head empty minato and girlboss lying to herself to get through the week kushina and they were BOTH GIRLS???? that being said im also a big fan of malewife minato so idk. i go back and forth. any way you spin it kushina HAS to be transfem though i just. need her to be. these guys are one of the healthiest couples in the series i think. which says a lot.

kagurin: KAGURIN KAGURIN MY BELOVEDS!!!!! kind of like narumitsu except rin is literally nothing like edgeworth its just that kaguya has that "i can fix her" vibe that phoenix has (she is just as bad). absolutely impeccable. they have the symbolism. they have the chemistry. toxic yuri forever!!!! rin is aro but in denial and so she Decides to fall in love with kaguya because Moon Lady you know and kaguya tries to fix her and then they both die after a week because they are trying to destroy the world at the same time <3 women <3

tsunade: aroace romance repulsed sex repulsed touch adverse QUEEN!!! she and orochimaru meet up to bitch about everyone else's drama. (orochimaru is allo its just that he doesnt date because no one meets his standards.)

poly team 7: i will die on this hill. all of them are bi and they have a beautiful toxic codependent relationship <3 sakura and ino have flings every once and a while, same with naruto and gaara. the good ending in my head is the one where the three of them run off into the hills to live on a little farm as civilians after the war arc. the canon arc where they trudge back to konoha to drown in bureaucracy as they slowly drift apart from each other and the vision of a better world they once shared is kind of fun too except for the fact that thats DEFINITELY not the intend reading

rock lee: he is the perfect man. i believe he is straight as a ruler and the best guy you could possibly meet and incredibly unlucky. every girl he dates for longer than a week finds out that shes a lesbian. he has an army of lesbian best friends. eventually he had to result to mitosis to produce offspring. this is the only thing i know about boruto canon.

ankrin: yes rin gets two ships this is because she is my favorite. anko and rin happens in the timeline where she is the sole team minato member to stay in konoha and they meet and bond under orochimaru's tutelage. he ends up becoming hokage after minato is drawn and quartered by iwa for his crimes (<3) and they just kind of chill. both of them are aro and lesbians so this arrangement is GREAT for both of them. friends with benefits type of thing i think.

kisita: kisame is a mom friend. that being said i do not think he enjoys mothering itachi all that much. itachi is the exception to the worrying. kisame does it anyways. fascinating relationship. closer to that of a plant that produces flowers to attract an extinct species of bee and the fruit fly that has not adapted to co-exist with the plant but keeps it alive anyways than anything romantic i think.

[cigarettedolly13]

Before I go to bed, I wanna actually talk about what’s been going on with me lately, especially because I feel like getting it off my chest to some degree might help.

I’ve been going on and off between genuinely trying to engage with and talk to people and just completely self isolating when I’m not working. I’ve become really emotionally unstable over the past week and this mainly happened due to me getting sick and going off of my medication for a bit to recover. Unfortunately I’m almost out and I’m due for a refill but I’m not sure when I’ll get my refill, either way I’m realizing that I genuinely need this type of medication to regulate my emotions and it’s kind of a thing I need to accept but also I think part of it has been I’ve been forgetting to change my BC patch on the correct day and I’ve done that 4 times a row this round…so now everything is just like…out of whack for me. In addition to that, nearly everything makes me cry as of late and it’s both concerning and kind of comical. I was at work cleaning the inside of one of our stock displays, and I accidentally sprayed cleaning chemicals on a fly that I didn’t know was in there. Either way it actually upset me to the point of tears because I was trying to figure out how to get the flies out of there while simultaneously having a breakdown over the fact that I did that.

That and I’ve also been feeling insane levels of guilt lately for simply existing and not being 100% miserable all the time. Like there’s no rhyme or reason behind it. I could literally just like…engage in something that makes me happy for like a second and I would instantly feel guilty for enjoying said thing. I don’t know if the catholic indoctrination is crawling out of the woodworks and working overtime again or if this has to do with the environment I’ve created for myself but oh lawdy either way, I’ve experienced a level of guilt and shame for simply existing that I haven’t felt since I was maybe 13 years old.

All of this has just lead to me isolating myself as frequently as I can. I feel too anxious to go outside or do anything outdoors because I just don’t want to be perceived in my current state. The good news is that when I finish my current round of meds I’m going to be trying a different form of adderall that will help me function better without the midday crash my current adderall gives me. I’m hoping that longevity will be an even better help in regulating my emotions. Problem is I’ve only got four pills left so I’m like “I gotta take them but it’ll be sooo long before I get more meds 😤” but also idk maybe I can see if my meds are ready idk man I’m tired.

Anyway that’s all I needed to talk about. Maybe this could’ve been a private rant however I think it might help me some to document how I’ve been feeling and what I could do going forward. At least publicly. I already feel better after typing this.

Moral of the story: Don’t raise your kids Catholic or they’ll develop horrific guilt complexes that follow them into adulthood regardless of whether they deconstruct or not ❤️

[crizztelcb]

So something happened like last week, I was in bed trying to sleep as always and i started thinking about what happens when people die, and you know I grew up chirstian to be more specific catholic so that shaped tons of my views but in the past I was never able to believe in heaven or hell, neither limbo or something like that (I still don't believe in those), for me people would just become a light and that's it. No good or bad part to it, no meeting with family and friends, no punishment nor reward, just nothing not even you yourself yet something exists. I was a little kid at that time.

And then I changed my view to when you die you just die, nothing special, that took place when I got super depressed. Sulking in bed waiting for my lungs to stop breathing so it would all be over, looking out the car window and thinking about how my funeral would be like. It felt good to think about death. I was a teen at that time.

Now? Im fucking terrified of death XD not because of punishment or that there's nothing there but idk how will the feeling be like? Is weird to think about it, life became my main goal I don't wanna die! Sometimes I fall back into the idea of death but quickly it gets replaced with "oh fuck that would suck" and I will chuckle and go do something.

What will happen when I die? I have no fucking idea and my God I don't want to know about it so soon.

[mrvlbimbo]

hi, i love your content. so considering eddie's love for dnd, do you think he would be into roleplaying? i think he would come up with the craziest, hottest scenearios in bed, he would get really into character and he would lose it if his s/o ever got a sexy costume

I want to see Eddie Munson in a maid costume. The fact I will probably never see Eddie Munson in a maid costume will haunt me till the day I die. It is my greatest regret in life.

But enough about my angst, let's talk about roleplay with Eddie.

I feel like he'd be really into the idea of being caught doing something he isn't supposed to. Idk how that would play out rlly but punishing him for something, especially in character so hot.

I feel like it's basic but it's a classic, sexy nurse roleplay is definitely a thing for him. Like you walk in with one of those outrageous red and white nurse costumes one and he's instantly like "oh no, I'm sick." *coughs violently*

He has a bit of a cheesy imagination and I'm pretty sure the porn back then was even worse than now sooo his "plotlines" would be so tropey.

We've all seen the sexy nun Halloween costumes (sorry catholic church, I'll come to Christmas mass I promise) Imagine wearing one of those for him.

The whole town thinks he's into devil worship so why not play into that idea. "Like oh no there are demons in my dick! please nun lady, suck them out of me"

He'd love to have you come to his concerts and pretend to be a groupie so he can fuck you backstage. Usually he's not that into degradation but when you're pretending to be a whore he's going to call you a whore and a slut and a bitch and a cum dumpster.

he's a nerd so fantasy roleplay too! he likes vampires. Maybe it's just an excuse for him to have you bite his neck but he likes being dominated with you pretending to be some supernatural creature.

Back to the demon thing he would be SO into you pretending to be a succubus.

Like you walk into his room at like 2:00 in the morning in a dark lingerie set and he knows he's about to get it good.

You saunter into the room and shove him back onto the bed, straddling his thighs and stripping him down to nothing. He was whimpering for you by the time you even started touching him.

When you finally settle down onto his cock, his hands instantly go to your hips so he can fuck you. That's a big mistake. You pry his hands off of you and reach for the handcuffs by his bed, securing his arms behind him.

This time you're unobstructed by his interference and you can have your way with him, just like he wants. You wrap a hand around his neck, gripping tightly as your nails dig into the sensitive skin. He'll moan at this, prompting you to sneer "Do I need to gag you?"

"No ma'am," he whimpers, struggling not to writhe under your domineering touch.

With one hand on his neck and one on his shoulder you'll fuck yourself on his cock, ordering him to cum as many times as he can.

With the way you have him spread with his hands behind his back he easily gets overstimulated, slipping into a state of pussy-dumb bliss and leaving you to do most of the work.

Not that you mind because once you uncuff him he'll be on his knees for the rest of the night working as many if not more orgasms out of you.

Taglist here:

@angelsarecallin @sebby-staan @niviiera @chaoticgurl @evqans

[unrestedjade]

More baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for: LATINUM EDITION~~~

- Almost every home is a rental, as almost all usable land is corporate-owned. Might as well daydream about owning a moon, it's no less realistic than owning the house you grew up in. (No I'm not frustrated with my $1500 rent at all, no I'm not miserable watching 40-year-old trailer homes selling for $250k to a property management firm that's going to rent it out. Surely a place like Ferenginar wouldn't be equally ridiculous, hahahahahahahahHAHAHAHA. Ahem.) - Latinum as religious fetish. We see Quark offering slips of latinum while he prays to the Blessed Exchequer before bed. He even has a little shrine. What's unclear is whether you're meant to reuse the same slips each day or if you have to actually "give up" the latinum over the longer term for the offering to count. You can break a piggy bank, but it's probably bad to break an image of the Exchequer, unless he's very chillaxed compared to the majority of gods. - Assuming really giving up the latinum is better, is destroying it extra good? Or are you sinning by removing it from the Continuum? Are there Ferengi extremist sects that sink latinum into bogs or launch it into a star?

- What do they think and feel about latinum with regards to the Exchequer? What does a god need with it? Is it meant to be his lifeblood, figuratively? Or literally, via transubstantiation? (Catholic Ferengi. Cathipitolists.)

- How was latinum treated in the days before they knew to process it with gold so it could be handled safely? It's very pretty and ethereal-looking in its raw form, and also very, very toxic. Depending on the symptoms of latinum poisoning, I wonder if it had anything to do with it gaining religious significance? Ancient Ferengi priests seeing visions and going a little funny in the head from handling raw latinum for years and years?

- The way Quark and Brunt talk about taxes in S7 suggests there's not a lot of taxation in Ferengi society (officially, anyway. idk what else you'd call their ubiquitous bribes/tips than unofficial taxation). In any case, since one of the major purposes of taxation in modern economies is to control inflation by removing money (governments create/destroy money; they don't really keep a little checkbook register of surplus/deficit the way a household does) offering latinum to the Exchequer as an act of worship could be a good way to take money out of circulation for a while. - Latinum vs fiat money? Latinum is canonically used as coinage by multiple species. (It would seem like Ferengi are putting themselves at a bit of a disadvantage by also attaching a spiritual importance to it, but who knows, and this is a tangent on a tangent.) Is all their money backed by latinum? It can't be, right? Just conceptually, their stock markets and banks can't possibly be tying every value in every account to a real, physical measure of latinum, that's horribly inefficient. Can "latinum" also mean any legitimate liquid asset? Or does the Exchequer insist on the real thing? Much to ponder. - Brunt implies in Family Business that Ferenginar has houseless people and beggars. There's no point in begging if no one ever gives you anything, so some people must give charity to beggars. What's that look like, is it something kind-hearted Ferengi do in spite of the RoA explicitly stating that charity is only acceptable when you come out richer than you started? What's their rationalization in that case? Are they left feeling shameful about it? (Obviously the people stuck begging feel shitty, by design. Ironically, they might feel less shitty than we would, since the Exchequer doesn't appear to care how you get money, only that you get it.) - If you're moved to give money/material aid to a needy person, you'd probably do it quietly. Here in the good ol' US of A a common view is that "hand-outs" hurt the needy person in the long run because you're removing their impetus to stop being lazy sponges. And that's from people who follow a religion that commands them to care for the needy! So it's gotta be even harsher under a religion that's completely mask-off in its worship of individual prosperity. - (You just know Keldar was one of those people tossing a few slips of latinum for someone sleeping under a shop awning each morning. His business sense sucked but Ishka made him sound like a warm person. Folks gotta eat.) - Reincarnation... Alright, so if you were a dude and you die broke it's implied you can't reincarnate/are damned to the Vault of Eternal Destitution. Cool and fair, nothing to unpack there. What about women? They're half the population but seem to have been overlooked on this point in this here 10k-year-old religion. Which is telling in itself, of course, but you'd think someone would have addressed this? Who reincarnates female? Is the accepted understanding that females reincarnate female and are totally removed from the requirement to bid on their life? But that still doesn't solve the problem, because even if reincarnation were assigned-sex-segregated (god what a shitty idea, compels me tho) you're still losing X number of men to the Vault each generation. - I want to see what Ferengi religious debates look like. Pel is shown to be a serious scholar of the RoA as they've dug into not only the text itself but all the commentaries and refutations and deep-dives others have published about it. That's gotta fuel some spicy convo around the tongo table once everyone's a few drinks in. - Are there multiple sects? People arguing whether this or that rule is meant to be taken literally vs as metaphor? Everyone can't be in lockstep on this stuff. Quark seems to have been raised within the currently-hegemonic sect, but surely there's others.

- There don't appear to be any clergy or equivalent persons, so I wonder if there's different sects how they organize themselves? Do they host different subs on Ferengi Reddit? (Ferengi Reddit...shudder) - Ferengi atheists slacking at work or living as drifters because there's no point saving money for a next life that's not real. Life must drive them to drink. That's when you go out into space to live with the sane people and never call home.

- Is the rest of the population chill with atheists, or is that a no-go? I guess it would depend on how loud the person is and whether they follow the Rules or not.

- You know who they're definitely not chill with: socialists. Do they have Satanic Panics about this or that media turning the youth into commies? If you're an outspoken socialist, are you looking at exile? Arrest? An unexpected date with an Eliminator? - Conspicuous consumption seems to be a thing, and it's interesting in light of the whole "needing a good high score for a good reincarnation" idea. It still boils down to showing off how much you can afford to waste, but the stakes are undoubtedly higher for the faithful. - If something happens and you're at risk if losing everything, is it safer to just off yourself while you still have money? What if you're going to lose more than you'd ever be able to make back? (In economics this is called a perverse incentive lulz)

- The Great Monetary Collapse must have suuuuucked. It's the Great Depression x100, and also your god is mad at you, maybe??? And your next life is totally screwed now, too. Fuckin' dire, man. When Quark mentioned it in the show, it was with this flippant air like he was waiting to see how Miles and Julian reacted. He might have elaborated more if they hadn't reacted...the way he probably assumed they would. (Partially a self-fulfilling prophecy given the way he primed them to treat it as a joke, but I digress.) - Suicide rates are measurably higher in societies that elevate achievement and work ethic (see the Protestant vs Catholic divide on this, it's interesting and very depressing as a lapsed protestant in a protestant-dominated country). Just saying. - On this same bummer track: hedonic depression could be very commonplace among Ferengi. Every minute not spent working is spent on distraction because life is just such an exhausting grind, and a lot of factors determining whether you're a good/successful person are out of your control. Booze, porn, and gambling are all very distracting, and thus very popular. If a lot of this just sounds like regular degular capitalism: yes. It's actually proving difficult to push the fictional society further out because we're already living beyond satire. Maybe that's why I like these awful little guys so much. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

[undermattsun-archive]

baptismal

(skate rat) sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader | w.c 1.5k

a/n: man idk more sacrilege, touch of inspo from linsanity’s sexual baptism tag, so thank u @sugardaddykenma + @pomsuki said dick suckin and here we r♡.. btw apologies if the ending seems sudden? i rlly didn’t wanna write a full smut again....am a lil burnt out from that i rlly wanted to just write the...water boarding.......and spitting

dedicated to @dymphnasprose my sacrilege chaos soulmate (thx for reading this 4 me twice smoochies)

18+ university age | pls read warnings

tw sacrilegious, tw dubcon, tw dacryphilia, tw humiliation, tw degradation, tw breathplay, tw choking, tw spitting, tw waterboarding (not really?), tw mean mean mean sakusa is mean (but like reader is kind of into it)

tw miki is once again making terrible use of her catholic upbringing :’)

A sharp pain slices up your spine as your back is slammed against your desk, hands flying up to desperately grip at the Sakusa shoulders, his tongue continuing it’s ruthless search of your mouth.

“C-Can’t.” You shove at his chest, gasping for air, trying not to let the disappointed click of his tongue wear down on you. You risk a glance up to meet his eyes, flinching at the darkened look settled upon his face.

He slams his hands down on the desk, shoving his face close-up to yours, scrutinizing eyes picking apart your features.

“Disgusting,” He muses, making your eyes widen and water, “don’t cry now, you’re the one who invited me up here.” He brushes a finger under your eye, a cruel smile rendering the gesture sarcastic, mocking. With a tilt of his head he tightens a grip on your jaw and pulls you into another unforgiving kiss.

You can’t help but whimper into his mouth, delighting in the soft groan he lets out in response. He presses his body against yours, forcing you against the rigid desk and books scattered across. Your back arches in a desperate attempt to relieve the sharp pain prodding at you. He bucks his hips against you, shoving a hand under your shirt as your head slams into the window above your desk.

“Ow Omi!” He swallows down the complaint the hand slipped under your shirt crawling up your torso and closing around your throat, the loose grip branding itself against your flesh.

“Quiet.” His teeth dig into your bottom lip, as you mumble another complaint against him, fingers digging into his shoulder as he grinds against you, the growing bulge in his pants making your mouth water. “Off.” He tugs at the waist of your pants, annoyance permeating the air.

He makes no effort to give you any leeway to properly tug off your bottoms, you wriggle around beneath him, shrinking under the impatient glare he’s focusing on you. His hand shoots out to yank down your pants, knocking your head against the window and books and papers to fall off your desk. Your hand shoots out to try to catch some of the falling debris, only able to catch the translucent, white bottle of holy water your parents had shoved into your hands before leaving you in your apartment.

“To keep you cleansed of sin.” They had whispered. 

Before you can set it back down onto the desk, Sakusa plucks it from your fingers, focusing eyes scanning over the bottle, thumbing over the golden crucifix fixed to the front. 

“What’s this?” He mutters popping the cap open and sniffing it, eyebrows furrowing at the lack of scent.

“Holy water.” You reply tugging at his shirt, trying to bring his attention back to you. Hooking up with Sakusa was one of your guiltiest pleasures, and seeing it being derailed by a reminder of your religious upbringing was nothing short of grating.

“What’s it for?” He scoffs, shutting the cap again to look back into your eyes. His expression is painfully blank, forcing a huff from your lips.

“I don’t know my parents gave it, keep me clean or something,” You lean back against the desk, continuing to ignore the textbooks stabbing into you, “c’mon Omi, it’s not important.”

“Clean?” His gaze flickers back and forth between you and the bottle, the hand resting upon your throat tightening for a second before dragging back down to grip at the hem of your shirt.

“What are you-” He drags your shirt up, pulling it taught over your face, your hands flying back up to claw at his biceps, you begin to protest, the words lost the second you feel a spray of water on the fabric over your mouth and nose, making you sputter and choke, the sensation horribly akin to drowning. You thrash your limbs against him as you feel his hand close over your mouth through the thin material of your shirt, robbing you of any chance of air.

“Dirty, fucking filthy.” He mutters as he rips your shirt off, you look up at him in bewilderment another series of protests prodding at your lips, the thought of telling him to leave blaring in your mind. “Shut the fuck up.” He grinds out as you part your lips to speak, wet fingers tangle into your hair, dragging you towards your bed, you let out a desperate whimper, the pitiful noise falling on deaf ears as Sakusa gives one particularly rough yank as he throws you onto the bed. You wipe at your face, eyes narrowing at the bottle of holy water still held loosely in Sakusa’s grip. 

“Why do you have that?” The words shake as they leave your lips, it’s all you can manage with the filthy glint in his eyes baring down on you. 

“To cleanse you.” His words are absolute, ringing through your ears as if they’re meant to save you. He unscrews the cap and tosses it aside, taking a quick swig before moving to hover over you. His fingers make their way to squeeze at your cheeks, commanding your lips fall to fall apart. Without warning he spits the water into your mouth, shifting his grip to force your mouth close. “Swallow” He commands, voice unwavering. You swallow hard, eyes watering at the way it scorches at your throat, thoughts of your past transgressions and sins weighing down as you bend to the will of the man above you.  

“Good, maybe we can make a saint out of a sinner.” He sneers, he takes another swig, spitting it at your face. You squeeze your eyes shut, squealing as the water goes up your nose, trying to move out of his hold.

“Omi this is bad. Stop it.” Your voice wavers as you rub at your face once more, trying to wick away the mixture of spit and holy water. “Th-That’s sacred.”

“Tch,” a hand closes around your throat, your own hands flying to grip at his wrist as if your hold would convince him to relent his iron grip, “isn’t sex supposed to be a sacred thing between spouses? But here you are, whoring yourself out so easily.” 

“Hnn i-it…” His eyes narrow in time with his constricting hold, head tilting as your airway is restrained further and further. The faint thought of the bruises forming falls flat as you start to gasp more, eyes fluttering shut, praying silently that Sakusa won’t make you pass out this time around. 

“So filthy.” He lets up slightly, just enough for you to breathe a little easier, but still tight enough to keep you in your place. He tips back another swig of the holy water, slamming his lips against yours, immediately letting your lips fall open as the water sloshes between your mouths, dribbling down your chin. He releases your throat, pulling away with a sharp nip to your lower lip as he pulls away, expression still painfully blank while eyes continue to glow with that shameful sense of danger. 

The lull in his unrelenting actions finally allows you to breathe, allowing you to feel the deep seated guilt of such sinful misuse of a sacred element of your faith. With wide eyes you look up at Sakusa shooting you a look that screams ‘don’t move’. A soft nod of your head offers the confirmation he didn’t care for as he dumps the rest of the water on your head. The cool water carves itself down your skin, a poor attempt at washing away the countless amount of sins you’ve committed, the countless amount you will commit as long as Sakusa Kiyoomi continues to hold a sliver of interest in you. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a buckle being undone, immediately faced with the reddened tip of Sakusa’s cock, precum beading at the slit, the sight familiar and mouthwatering. There’s no need for him to speak, your lips are already brushing over the head, tongue darting out to lave over it. An indifferent hum is the closest you get to encouragement as you take more and more of him into your mouth. 

His fingers flick at the top of your head, a silent command to pick up the pace as he settles his palm against the back of your head. Just as your nose brushes against tight curls you pull back, setting an impossible pace for your space in the name of satisfying the man before you. You make a point to let the head of his cock ram into the back of your throat, forcing your throat to constrict and spasm. You flutter your lashes, looking up at him in hopes of a crumb of approval, a tilt of his lips to signal his satisfaction, only to earn almost disinterested eyes staring back at you.

“Enough. Spread your legs.” He tugs you off and with a hand on your face he shoves harshly, making you fall back against the bed. 

“Hey! Be care…” The demand pauses in your chest the second you meet his gaze, swearing you can see the devil in his eyes.

[itstheimpossibledream]

Catholic School

Summary: Just some Smutty Smut Buuuuut I wanted to do something fun & different. For some reason I thought it was weird to me that Walker seemed so pissed about his parents putting his daughter in catholic school and of course my mind went to find a strange way to make that sexual.Soooooo yeah here’s my first Walker fic. My little black body isn’t a huge fan of glorifying lawenforcement (like we see oftenly in the show) so idk how many more Walker fics we’ll get but, I had to do this one for my Jared girls!

Word Count :2,714

Pairing:Walker x Emily/you( Idk I wrote it weird)

“Is that all of it?” He asked, mock huffing as he set down the container of things at the top of your pyramid of boxes. 

“You better not knock over my stuff.” you shout over your shoulder. As you reach out to resume setting up your bookcase, you hear a shuffle and crash. The box’s contents cover the floor,and instead of scolding him for what you knew he would do ,you turn back to the shelf, right after shooting him a look to let him know he would absolutely be held responsible for removing the mess. 

“I’m sorry babe that’s my fault.” He chuckled, getting onto his knees to begin the process of cleaning up. You just roll your eyes and return to your shelf.

“ Woah ,woah! What is this ? Why haven’t I seen you in this!?!” He exclaims whirling you around and practically smacking you in the face with the skirt from your old high school uniform.

“Because you didn’t go to Our Lady of Peace”t

You retort smartly,smacking the skirt away from your nose.

“See that’s not fair!” He says ,grabbing you by the waist and pulling you in. Cordell Walker wasn’t always the ridiculously goofy & sentimental type. In fact, he was working his way into being one of the best law enforcement officers this area had ever seen. But, as he held the skirt up to your waist, his strong arms around you, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach flip as he kissed directly below your ear before whispering “please”.

As stupid as it was a small part of you did want to know if you could still fit into the uniform. And an even larger part of you couldn’t wait to use it as your secret weapon later, to get out of doing laundry or some other menial household chore. Moving in together was a big step.It was thrilling and exciting but, so far it hasn’t been without its challenges. You noted this part particularly as you looked down at your pile of items discarded from the box; dusting the edge of your peripheral vision.

“Fine” you breathe lightly, feigning disinterest “but you’re gonna regret it.”

“Em. There’s no way that’s possible.” he calls out shooting you a toothy grin. You allow the door to slam behind you ,cutting him off from sharing whatever fantasies he had worked up with the slam of the door between you. Surprisingly, the skirt slipped on with unimaginable ease, and the rest of your time was spent judging yourself in the mirror. The skirt barely covered your butt, you were aware. And the whore in you absolutely couldn’t wait to rush out and show him. Cordell was a calm Texas boy, a sweet and simple lover, truth be told you had wondered often about how to pull out his dark side and this skirt may be just the thing to do it. You had seen him slam suspects against a wall and tackle down perps. But, that was emotion reserved specifically for when he was angry, and never directed towards you. It wasn’t that you wanted him to be upset with you. But, you had been together long enough to understand sweet Walker and something in you desperately wanted to know what was beneath that. 

You took off your t-shirt and threw it in the hamper, allowing the black lace of your bra to show itself fully in connection with the red and black plaid of the skirt.

“You’re done for Walker.” You laugh as you open the door to see him standing in the hallway, he had been waiting for you, practically on his tip-toes jumping for excitement.

“ Oh my gawd.” The Texas twang in his voice was unmistakable. You smile up at him, stepping into the hall when you are met by a large, veiny hand on the skin of your bare stomach. “No.” He says slowly pushing you back into the bedroom. “ I can’t let you go anywhere like that.” You watch the expression on his face, as his eyes turn hungry and his grip changes from pushing you to his fingers lightly digging into your skin.

“Get on the bed.” He commands. You do as you’re told, looking up at him innocently while sitting on the side of the bed.He sits next to you and begins running a hand up your thigh.

“You know you’re ridiculously hot in this outfit right?” You just look at him,pretending to be entirely unaware of what the outfit was doing to him.

“Tell me something.” he says, rubbing the expanse of your leg again. “What’s the sluttiest thing you did in this outfit?” Your eyes shot up to meet his, and then immediately looked away.  

“Unh uhhh.” he warned, moving his hand up from your thigh to meet your warmth. You gasp lightly at his touch, and your response causes a dark smirk to play at the corner of his lips. 

You can feel him push pressure onto your clit and allow yourself to close your eyes. 

“Don’t tell me you never let anyone bend you over a desk and tell you how good it feels to be inside you catholic girl?” he joked. You let out a light moan as  he pushed two fingers inside.

“Your darkest highschool secret.Come on, tell me.” You can feel his breath hitch as you lightly move your hips, changing your position on his fingers. 

“I-I wanted my history teacher.” you breathe. You had no idea why you revealed that.

“Good girl….tell me more.”

“I’d pull my skirt up so  he could see, then I’d bend over and pick up books, or lean all the way over a desk to help a classmate, anything I could do to get his attention.” Once you started talking you couldn’t stop.You wanted to tell him every filthy thing you had ever done or even thought of. 

“Mmmm he made you wet didn’t he baby?” you shut your eyes even tighter not wanting to see his face, for fear of his reaction. A highschool teacher as a student’s first real crush isn’t out of the ordinary but he had a way of bringing out your dirtiest thoughts. 

“Yes.” you allowed out in a shaky breath. He pumped his hands faster into you.

“But you’ve done dirtier things than that right babygirl?” he asks. Fuck .Why did he have to call you baby girl? He knew that was a weakness, and clearly he didn’t intend on taking it easy on you anytime soon. 

“In class” you whisper “I stayed after to finish a test once.” your breathing is becoming ragged, he has to know you don’t have much longer before his hand sends you over the edge. 

“And what happened?” he asks gently near your ear, the smoothness of his voice now, contrasting with the force he is using to fuck his hands into you. 

“I knew he liked me, he couldn’t say it but, he did.”

“So you teased him.” he pushes his fingers into you, sending you over the edge. Your head drops back between your shoulder blades and you open your eyes, to look at him as you moan your way through your orgasm. Looking up at him as innocently as possible.He gets up from the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. You somehow manage to recover, as he moves toward you, setting you up father onto the mattress. He places the pad of his thumb at the top of your bottom lip, running it over the puffy, pink skin of your pout.

“You’re such a beautiful little fuck doll.”he moans , pushing his thumb inside your mouth, you suck on it, submissively. You hear him undoing his pants with his other hand, and soon he’s on top of you, covering your body with his. The skin-to-skin contact is deliciously fulfilling and you want to feel every inch of him over you.

“Open your legs for me princess.” he commands but,your head is swimming with adrenaline and you barely hear him. 

“Don’t make me ask twice, baby.” He says, forcing your knees apart, opening you up wide for him to see. You feel the heat of him next to your opening and roll your hips, trying to get him into you but,he doesn’t allow you to satisfaction. Instead, he leans in, kissing you deeply, exploring your mouth. You watch as he pulls back,your lips graze his adam’s apple slowly kissing down his lightly stubbled neck. Suddenly, you feel his lips close to your ear and he begins questioning you again.

“I like that you’re a good girl.”he says calmly “ But,I know your mind is dirty…...tell me what you really did.”he commands.

“I - I -” he cuts you off from even being able to answer by pushing himself into you, filling you up and causing an involuntary moan to escape your lips. He smiled down at you but,didn’t move his hips. He allows you time to adjust to him, when your breathing steadies, you try to talk again.

“My friend had told me that her boyfriend had fingered her at the movies,I wasn’t really interested in the story but, she did say that it felt good, and I guess I was intrigued or something I don’t know.” He pushed into you slowly, and you could see the  darkness in his eyes. He was revelling in the story,turned on by both your honesty and innocence. 

“I don’t know why, I just couldn’t stay focused on my test.” you tried to return your mind to the story but, you were so enraptured by the pressure he was creating in your body you could barely focus. 

“So I finished the test.” you continued “ and then I just I guess I started day dreaming or something.I don't know-” You trailed off, bucking your hips again, and he moves a hand down to stop you from fucking him, possibly even from making him cum. Every one of his exhales seemed to accompany a moan now and you loved how this was all affecting him. You could tell how incredibly turned on he was and it only worked to make you want to fuck him more. 

“When he came back in the room, my test was finished on my desk but, my hand was down my skirt, and I was moaning out his name.” He started thrusting now, quickly moving from a light pace to a hard pumping into you. “My legs were spread wide, and I remember just cumming all over my fingers.” your voice was becoming ragged now,but you continued. 

“Something about him catching me, and knowing he could see my hand in my underwear peeking out from under my skirt.”you sigh. Quickly, he pulls off out of you, rolling you over and positioning you on all fours. This was new, you had never been opposed to doggy-style but, the good-evangelical texas christian boy he was raised as did have an obvious love for the missionary position.You were jerked out of this realization by his pulling of your hair.He lowers his mouth next to your ear “finish telling me the story.”he commands.

“I don’t remember anything else.” you say trying so hard to balance enough to rub yourself into your next orgasm. He smacks his hips into you, pulling you up even further saying “Good girls don’t lie.You get fucked when you tell the truth.” he whispers. Slowing his pace in you.You feel so frustrated by him denying you your right to orgasm and you start raising your voice at him. 

“I- I liked it.” you divulge “ I didn’t stop when he walked in on me. I wanted him to see, to catch me. It made me so fucking hot, because…… because he didn’t look away.” you exhale roughly. He picks up his pace again, really fucking into you.Grunting hard as he digs his nails into your hips. 

“He liked it babygirl.” he moans out “He loved seeing you in that skirt as much as I do.” he moaned again as, you push your hips back to meet him and he moans again,moving one arm to push your head down,as he fucks into you more forcefully than he ever has before. 

“Fuck Em-”he breathes, right before pluging himself into you. You can feel the coil snap in you,as he fills you with his cum.You become aware of how hard you had been holding onto the bed sheets and how your eyes had blissfully rolled to the back of your head, and caused your entire body to relax. It was amazing how he could do that.The two of you laid there for a few moments just panting in the silence.Eventually, he pulled himself out of you receding to the bathroom, you hear him turn on the faucet, water rushing, turning off the faucet he lightly pads his way back into the room. You had managed to roll over but not change much in appearance.He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into him, interlacing the fingers on his opposite hand with yours.

“What’s on your mind Cordell Walker? “ you asked from a sleepy haze. He was quiet for a moment before answering, letting the silence sit as you drifted off further. 

“ I just really like that skirt.” You can hear him

Smiling to himself.  You brush a finger over his thumb to let him know you’re still awake and that he won’t get off easily, without something deeper than the skirt inspiring the incredible sexual connections you had both experienced. Your mind danced with the silence again. It was the sound of his heartbeat that brought you back to earth, to Texas, to the bed with him. He speaks quietly, his tone just above a whisper,

“ I’m sorry I didn’t use a condom. I know that’s not our thing.” The uncertainty of his voice shocked you “ I just -I wanted to try-“ 

“ I liked it .” You say cutting him off cheerfully without opening your eyes. 

“ Good.” Silence blankets the room again. “ I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to rush the kids' thing. I know we said we’d revisit it once we moved in together.But, if you’re not ready. I don’t see any reason to push it.”

“Well” you said rolling over, “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.I just hope we don’t have a girl.”You sigh.You can feel his chuckle radiate through your body. 

“Well the one thing I do know is she will not go to catholic school.” he joked.You burst into laughter. You were right, he didn’t stand a chance.

“Catholic school creates sluts,what can I say?”you smile to yourself,snuggling in.

“I didn’t say that.” He smiles. You run your hand down his forearm,feeling the strength in his arms as your fingertips trace the vanes mapped out across his limb.” It was late, and moving in,during a Texas summer had been almost unbearable.This was the moment you had finally allowed yourself to rest, and being curled up next to him you felt safe enough to drift off to sleep. Into a world where you and Cordell Walker had a daughter, that would be some world.She’d be gorgeous just like her father of course.Probably as headstrong and emotional too. You had always pictured yourself having a boy though. 

No matter what the two of you eventually ended up with, it was clear he would be an amazing dad. You fell asleep smiling to yourself, knowing that as long as the two of you had each other, everything would be alright. Moving in, may have been the best thing the two of you had ever done.

[commonbard]

personal survey

tagged by the bestie @calenhads tagging (no pressure) @mercerszn @hughesclues and anyone who wants to do it !!!!! (seriously i want to see it i just feel bad tagging people. do it 🔪)

name: kells but i also respond to kevin apparently and i have a fondness for the names luke and riley if i ever get sick of this one age: 18 (june 26) height: 5'9" zodiac sign: cancer sun, gemini moon, libra rising where do you call home: wherever my friends are!!!! any tattoos or piercings: i had my ears pierced as a kid but haven't worn earrings since i was 9; i plan on getting several tattoos but am too nervous right now last song you listened to: in our bedroom after the war by stars last movie you watched: rope (1948) last book or fanfic you read: aru shah and the song of death and im dnfing the series because i did not enjoy it 💔 do you collect anything: dragon enamel pins!!!!!! morning person or night owl: depends on the day but i wake up at 8:30am and go to bed at like 10pm so usually neither? are you an optimist, pessimist, or realist: optimist or realist idk a quote you live by: none really, but i am going to steal meaghan’s answer and say wild geese by mary oliver has made me feel better at points do you believe in an afterlife or not: ok i was raised catholic but i don't believe in hell also i think it's optional whether you wanna go to "heaven" or be a ghost or have no afterlife at all. hope that helps ❤️ a weird or fun fact about yourself: ummmmm well you see. ummmmmm. idk i am rereading warrior cats for funsies if you could have coffee with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be: would love a good coffee date with my old roommates rn at [redacted] we could have bagels too <3

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay i’m going to go off about celebs again…. but like…. does anyone remember the gross asf vitriol that went around in 2011-2013 about justin bieber where the joke was “more like justINE bieber am i right??? 😂😂😅😅” from the “haters” of him. i, myself, actually joined in on this; considering that i thought that liking all the emo shit i was into made me “more mature than belibers” or some other absolutely batshit backwards bullshit that i would’ve spat out at the time to sound “edgy” and “NoT LiKe OtHeR GiRlS 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏻‍🎤”….. when in my group at catholic school, i had two girls in my group that were belibers themselves lol. i honestly made zilch sense.

but like to rest on this a bit, what the actual fuck was up with this joke???? why the fuck did the whole world just gang up on this teenage boy, who through no fault of his own, was still going through puberty…. so of course his voice was still going to be high??? and then the weird fucking speculation some fucking gross ass literal grown up adult people had back then of “when do you/we think his balls are going drop, so that we wont be call to be able to call him justine bieber anymore 😅😭??? just let us have our fun??!!” like what the FUCK??? why did everyone think that this was their business??? it wasn’t his fault in a sense that he stumbled into usher and got signed.

like….. no wonder justin’s had several breakdowns over the years. i would too. because how the fuck would you deal with this???? people just throwing out so casually this horrible fucking vitriol that they think you’re a girl OR think that you should get a sex change because it’s obviously a lie that he’s a boy/man OR think that you’re not “just a butch lesbian disguised as a 16yo boy” (these were legit other arguments at the time). like he was a KID for fucks sake. who the fuck asks to go through puberty in the fucking spotlight???? fucking N O O N E thats fucking who. like obviously he’s had a myriad of meltdowns and bad publicity over the years since. but this bullshit would’ve been so fucking horrible to take during the shitty years of puberty and high school to boot. obviously, in the years since, he’s done roast battles with jokes about this, so it’s good that he was able deal with it and joke about it, albeit eventually.

but i would’ve absolutely fucking hated to have all my pubescent behaviour and changes being fucking aired and speculated on in public view, for completely random people, famous or not, to comment on and make fun of. like i’ve talked before about the trouble i had with my period in my teens. i would’ve LOATHED to have that shit aired as it happened, on a red carpet for example. or as im accepting an award or just let alone performing at a show. just mid speech or mid performance. i would’ve bled (leaked) onto an expensive costume or provided expensive designer dress (or my own clothes/outfit) because my flow for a particular month/week was uber heavy. or god forbid, i wouldve thrown up mid-press-junket-interview on air or almost fucking passed out as well, depending on how my cycle/ovaries/hormones were feeling during a particular month/week.

like this is besides my point in a sense, but still. i would’ve had this aired and speculated on if i’d been catapulted to fame at the same time as bieber (and keep in mind, he is literally only a year older than me). but my period struggles would have been spun as “are you SURE this GIRL isn’t a BOY who knows nothing about period products??? does she know ANYTHING about pads & tampons so she WON’T bleed onto her dress or the like??? what a lazy, disgusting “girl”!” or “does she KNOW just how WEAK she is for NOT controlling her period pain??? how dare she pass out mid-show??? does she know she’s FAKING IT??? what a weak person, just GET UP and PERFORM, MONKEY because PERIODS ARENT THAT BAD!!! just think like a MAN and your period pain will go away!” or some other bizarre speculative bullshit that has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

when unbeknownst to anyone, i would’ve had about 5 advil tablets to both deal with my utterly unbearable period pain and unfathomably blinding and mind-numbing hormonal period headache, right before the said event or interview or whatever the fuck celeb duty i was carrying out. i would’ve had heat pads on, i would have been dizzy when arriving to and leaving from sets, etc etc etc. and finally, i would’ve been incredibly tired during all of this…… because of how much my periods fucked me around as a teen, to the point that some nights i couldn’t even fucking sleep properly. or the only reprieve i would get from the pain would be the aforementioned 5 advil tablets and an all day nap. on top of all this, i probably would’ve had to BEG (all because video call interviews weren’t particularly popular back then) for some like video call interview type thing from my bedroom or home studio or whatever, just to avoid going into an actual studio & set so i could just lay in bed or sit somewhere comfortable for the whole interview. and again etc etc etc because of all the other problems i had with my periods in my teens til my early fucking 20s, that i’ve mentioned several times on/in various posts on this hellsite over the years.

and the same goes for female stars like sasha pieterse from PLL when she opened up about her struggle with PCOS, and halsey with sharing her struggle with endometriosis. i would’ve hated to go through those medical conditions in the spotlight. i feel for them. it’s also the same thing with boobs: where the most famous example in recent years is ariel winter from modern family….. with how she needed a breast reduction because her boobs were giving her back problems and stuff, because she was like an F cup or something. and she also hated the creepy ass comments she was getting from gross dudes about how nice her boobs were or whatever the fuck, even while she was still a teen on the show.

anyway. back to bieber. i only say this because literally like last year or in 2019, the bieber joke appeared in my feed again in the first time in YEARS and i ended up tagging one of my old catholic school friends like “how the fuck do people still think this is funny?? it’s so 2011. and come to think of it, it was never funny in the first place anyway”. like both the media and the public had absolutely no right to speculate this shit and invade a young teen boy’s privacy like this??? it was so fucked up. idk why i didn’t make a post about it at the time…. but it also came into my mind just now because i commented on a post about justin bieber the other night about how he’s had fans stalk him to his nyc apartment again. like when the actual fuck will people fucking learn to let celebs have their goddamned privacy lmao.

[period-dramallama]

Spanish Princess Episode 5: many many thoughts

Strap yo selves in 

-WHERE WAS THE APOLOGY?? Lina’s just back with Catherine like nothing happened?? 

-Katherine, I get why you’re upset, but you kind of should be unsurprised?? Your dad was unfaithful to his wife, most kings were. Henry VII and Richard III were the exceptions, and even they had illegitimate sons before their marriages. Many kings also had official mistresses that everyone knew about, so by the standards of the time Henry and Bessie are actually being pretty tactful in at least trying to keep their affair out of sight. (Sexy dancing aside). 

-Honestly it would have been so much more moving if KoA was like “I know kings take mistresses...but I thought...I was so sure... he would be different...”

-”they gave me a purse of gold!” It’s expected that you give the monarch lavish presents, lmao Ursula and Stafford would do that even if they hated each other and you

-”everybody loves a masque” the only sensible thing Henry has said so far in this show. Also court probably had way more masques than we see in the show, and it would standard to have a masque every holiday. 

-”she is not a boy” hurry up with your character development and learn to love Mary already i am so TIRED of this miserable BS

-seems a rather depopulated masque? If the Chateau Vert pageant is anything to go by putting on a masque was a court activity, with most of the ladies performing.  

-Bessie Blount in her cute masque costume... sweet mother i cannot weave Aphrodite has overcome me with GAAAAAAAAAAAAY

-”I never enjoyed carousing...my mother scolded me” look i love the Neville sisters with my whole heart but a) Margaret was 3 at most when her mother died, how does she remember her? She’d have clearer memories of her double-uncle and double-aunt, Richard III and Queen Anne b) Isabel Neville in the White Queen was established as very prim and proper, a well-bred girl who cared about enforcing decorum, she refused to ‘carouse’ and she certainly would never bring a 3 year old to a party c) we saw little Margaret as a girl at the end of the White Queen and she didn’t seem at all shy. 

-”she died young, didn’t she” ...yes? most people did?

-”they both did” understatement of the year. Isabel Neville died young because she was ill, George died young (in the universe of The White Queen, at least) BECAUSE HE WAS FORCEFULLY DROWNED IN A VAT OF MALMSEY WINE. THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME! I do at least trust the writers of this show that the understatement was intentional, I’m sure even Emma Frost couldn’t forget a major character getting violently drowned.

-So the court only noticed the plague when one of their own got it so obviously and then died? Yes, plague could move fast, but if there was a whiff of plague the court would flee with the speed of the Looney Tunes road runner. If an acquaintance of an acquaintance of a cook had a cousin who saw someone with the plague, the court would flee to the country. How have these people not died of terminal stupid?! Like Compton was in the same building as the heir to the throne

-To be fair, it makes sense that they’re surprised Compton’s dead. Because the real Compton died of the sweating sickness. In 1528. Also he was involved in Buckingham’s downfall so... you just wrote yourself into a corner.

-Oh wow an actual good reason for More and Pole to be quarantined together i am amaaaaaazed

-”attend the queen” Boleyn, what do you think your daughter’s been doing all season if not attending the queen? Playing tetris?

-Katherine helping Anne into the wagon...I actually like that little moment. Like it does make sense, because the two have no reason to hate each other yet. (And who couldn’t like Anne? She’s such a babby!)

-Thomas More in the Tudor equivalent of casual clothes... much better. Shame about the 1930s lady’s wig.

-”what else should we do?” Maggie, this cannot be the first epidemic you’ve ever lived through. Have you forgotten the sweating sickness of 1485? You’ve probably lived through more epidemics than Oviedo has, you should know the protocol better than him.

-Oviedo continues to be the only man with rights. I wish we could see him crying and missing his wife and babies, but then my lil heart would break so maybe it’s for the best.

-They burn Maggie’s weird blue hood AS THEY SHOULD! IT WAS UGLY AND STUPID! I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN NOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH! yes they also burned her nice dress with the strawberries on it but honestly it’s worth it, bc now i can rest easy, knowing the evil hood has been defeated.

-”you were a plaything” Katherine is so obviously insecure. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment. Like if she really was certain Bessie wasn’t important, she wouldn’t need to say it, would she? Except to rub it in. Which this KOA would absolutely do. 

-literally all Bessie said was good morning?? Like Bessie is doing her best?? The masque was Henry’s idea, not hers, she hasn’t shown off about her affair, she hasn’t demanded money or titles, she hasn’t demanded any status to rival Katherine’s, she doesn’t flirt with or even speak to Henry when Katherine’s around, she acts like they’re strangers, she doesn’t even react when Katherine loses her temper...someone please please stick up for Bessie!

-”the rocking of the cart is unsettling to the stomach” is Anne naive, or is she covering for Bessie? I hope it’s the latter, in which case Anne is the one person looking out for Bessie...the babby is Soft, I repeat the babby is Soft!

-the irony of Mary being cold to Bessie when she’s next in the firing line...

-”it is not the rocking” Thank you Lina, where would we be without your gift for stating the obvious?

-”where did Wolsey get his money”...He’s a churchman...at the top of the church hierarchy...how do you fuckin think he got wealthy. Have y’all not been in the sixteenth century for five minutes? Why do you think Luther is so mad at the church?

-”I know of no other man in her bed most nights” Honestly wow I’m surprised KoA wasn’t like “well :/ a girl like that :/ who knows how many men process in and out of her bed :/” KoA gets half a point for being less bitchy than usual. Also Bessie looked so uncomfortable with Henry groping her stomach in front of Katherine. I pray the next man in her life treats her right and that Fraham don’t prematurely kill her off like they did with Compton.  

-”the future king” if you’re regent on his behalf, then he’s already king! “Civilised companionship” back at it again with the Scots-are-barbarians.

-Laura Carmichael is utterly stunning this episode, with her hair down. The cinematography was beautiful in general this week.

-”freedom to speak and licence to speak are two different things” hey look at that one of Thomas More’s actual beliefs. I am giving all the credit to the historical advisor for that, I don’t believe for one second Fraham knew that beforehand.

-Maggie I love you but no, God does not sanction adultery. For any reason. 

-KOA smirking and gloating about Bessie’s pain...she has never been so punchable. I would understand, if not condone it, if Bessie was manipulative, or greedy, or ambitious, or trying to supplant Katherine. But Bessie’s been betrayed by Henry too, and there’s no concrete evidence she ever gloated about her affair, to anyone let alone Katherine.  

-”You think only of your own fate while London is struck down with plague” Earth to Katherine?? What concern have you shown for the Londoners?? Also calling Bessie selfish...Bessie’s not the one who lashed out at Lina, was jealous at Lina for having twin boys, and who wanted to continue a war for personal reasons. And then Bessie proves KoA wrong 5 hot seconds later by sticking up for Mary. Bit rich of KoA to be all “how dare you leave my daughter unattended” when she herself won’t even hold Mary. 

-”Louis didn’t last a year” What! Is! The Timeline!

-Meg in that cloak reminds me of the Scottish Widow adverts. Georgie is so greedy- she steals every single scene she is in! Even when she’s raging she has more dignity and more presence than KoA ever has.

-”YOU LYING SOD” i burst out laughing it’s really not the little two-timing shit’s day, is it?

-Mary receiving Charlie B in the most Extra way possible. A++

-Why does Wolsey look like he’s about to cry?

-”thoughts are not actions” Lina I love you but... that is NOT what the New Testament says. Jesus said evil thoughts are very very much sins. I’ll give you a pass because maybe you haven’t been Catholic as long as Katherine has? Idk your backstory.

-Aaand now she’s wishing death on Bessie and her unborn baby and Lina isn’t disgusted? At least Katherine is feeling guilty. AS SHE SHOULD.

-”must it always fall to me to be magnanimous?” Katherine, you think only of yourself, for 23 out of every 24 hours. 

-”God wants me to be compassionate to Bessie because of my sins” God wants you to be compassionate because that’s how Christianity is supposed to work. It’s not very selfless of you to decide to be selfless so that you can get what you want. 

-oh wow look at that! She’s getting some self-awareness, i never saw that coming.

-”you betrayed Bessie” 5 points to Katherine of Aragon for standing up for Bessie when Henry screwed her over. Finally, some positive character development.

- MINUS 20000 POINTS FOR BABY STEALING

-WHAT THE FUCK

-is henry so dumb he thinks that baby is Katherine’s? Katherine was so obviously not pregnant

-When a baby’s born his skin needs to touch his mother’s skin so they can bond. They should have at least an hour’s cuddle time. Katherine of Aragon is literally traumatising a baby the very minute he is born. For her own selfish, selfish desires. 

[tehyunqs]

𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 — 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝑇𝑊𝑂

OCEAN DRIVE in which a religious girl gets wirled up in a corrupt catholic church’s ties with a dangerous mob. ( a jeon jungkook au )

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: foul language, mob/mafia(??idk), mentions of hell, murder, etc… .

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: hello, just a quick disclaimer that this au is set in the united states and the oc is not korean. i am in no way trying to erase jungkook’s nationality or any of the other member’s, who will appear in the near future. hopefully this doesn’t offend anyone lol

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: 𝟎𝟎𝟏 𝟎𝟎𝟐 𝟎𝟎𝟑

𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁.

❝forgive me father, for i have sinned.❞

i graduated high school two months ago. i showed up bright and beaming to my ceremony, but i was internally dreading the idea of leaving this hell for one reason; having to prepare for the next hell that awaited me; college. i was accepted into a well-known university in the city of New York, and i plan on pursuing a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. although i wanted to move across the country and attend a school in sunny California, my father couldn’t stop yapping about how awful he and my mother would feel with me hundreds of miles away from their comforting arms. so i decided to please my parents—like i always did—and stay in the big apple.

on this warm august morning, i was forced to begin packing for college, which started in just three days. i wasn’t ready at all, but i told myself i’d get used to it. all i had to do was put my all into this school, and the years would fly by in the blink of an eye.

“valentina, everything ready?” i heard my mother’s voice question me from my bedroom door.

i turned around to look at her and sent her a half smile. “almost.”

i went back to folding my clothes and heard the sound of my mother’s heels begin to click against the floor in front of me as she walked towards my dresser.

“i think you should take this.” i looked up from the black skirt in my grasp, raising my brows at the framed photo she held up. it was one of me and my late brother. i recognized it as the picture she had hanging on her bedroom wall.

i shook my head, “i don’t know.”

my sudden answer caused my mother to look at me in confusion. as if she was trying to figure out if she heard me right. she went to place the picture face down on the dresser and began to walk towards my bed.

“ms. ofelia says it’s not good to keep pictures of the dead up.”

i didn’t know if i used that as an excuse because i cared for him. or because i didn’t feel like seeing his face every time i walked into my dorm.

“why is that?”

i closed my suitcase and zipped it up, using both my hands to place it on the ground. a loud thump was heard once it made contact with the wooden surface.

“it keeps them from reaching the light… . not that he ever will.” i mumbled the last part, which she fully understood.

“valentina, why would you say such a thing?” my mother dramatically exclaimed with wide eyes.

“he took his own life, ma.” i responded bitterly. “God is the only one who gets to decide when you pass on.”

“he—he was so weak… . and selfish.” i could feel my eyes begin to sting as i was on the verge of crying, but i used all of my strength to not let the vulnerable droplets escape. “yeah, he ended his pain. good for him.”

“but he only made ours worse.”

i didn’t realize i failed at keeping the tears inside my eyes until i felt something drop onto my hand. i quickly began to wipe the tears off with the arm of my sweater before clearing my throat and picking up my second suitcase.

“i see… .” my mother began. “i understand why you feel this way, but he’s your brother. your blood. you can’t hate him.”

with all the pain he caused me, yes, i can.

“night, val!“ my head whipped around to follow the sound of my name being called, eyes landing on my coworker—who was more than happy to grab her bag and get ready to leave. i finished refilling the root beer container before grabbing a dry paper towel to wipe the excess of the liquid that managed to drip onto my hand.

“night!” i called out. “be careful!” she sent me a hum of reassurance and finally walked out the door, bell jingling along the way. i looked around the empty diner and took my phone out of my pocket to check the time.

9:50 P.M. only 50 more minutes left to go.

i thought about what i could do to make the time go by faster in this sort-of isolated bar.

this time at night, usually no one walks in here, and i’m left all by myself. it’s rare that someone shows up. i told myself i’d sit down and watch the remainder of the paid programs, but i soon realized there were more bearable things i could occupy myself.

i did not feel like watching martha stewart show off her cooking appliances.

so i grabbed the mop and began cleaning the sticky floors of this place. 20 minutes passed and i had already finished wiping down the counter when i heard the all too familiar bell jingle from the entrance door. heavy footsteps made their way into my ears, causing my body to tense up.

the many Law and Order: SVU episodes i watched created a lot of scenarios in my head.

i turned around and my breath hitched in my throat when i recognized the face as the same one i had seen back at the abandoned apartments. and i could tell he recognized me as well by the way his eyes quickly lit up.

before he could sit down, he decide to ask a question. “hey, are you closed yet?”

all i could do was shake my head for the first few seconds, but i soon got ahold of myself and managed to speak. “you got about a half hour. what can i get you?”

he sent me a smile. “perfect.”

i watched as he sat down in front of me and my hands sneaked to the waistline of my jeans, pulling them up. “i’ve been dying for a bite.”

i sent him a faint smile before turning around to grab my notepad and pen, suddenly feeling his eyes burning into my skin. while it would usually make me uncomfortable, uneasy that someone was staring at me, it boosted my confidence for some odd reason. i turned around and wrote down his order before running to hand it over to the cook.

i returned to fill up the empty cup with the root bear he had ordered, and set it down in front of him.

he picked it up almost immediately and took a long sip, all while maintaining eye contact with me.

he looks really good.

God, what am i thinking?

my lips parted so i could take a short breath and i cleared my throat, turning away, just after he had finished his sip. i walked a bit to my left and my hands reached for the nearest cloth to pretend i was cleaning the counter to save myself—and him—from how awkward i could be.

“what’s your name?“ he questioned a few seconds later.

i looked up from the counter to him.

"valentina.” i simply replied, afraid to make a fool of myself and stutter if i decided to say anything else.

he tilted his head to the side and smirked, giving me a view of his pearly, white teeth. “that’s a pretty name.”

i couldn’t help but feel like the temperature suddenly rose to over a hundred degrees at that very moment. i gave him a small smile and looked down at the wooden surface in front of me before mumbling a small thank you.

“i’m jungkook.” he said, offering his name.

then he smiled.

i wish he hadn’t smiled.

i wish i would’ve just ignored him the rest of the night, because it wasn’t fair. my life was bearable before i met him. i didn’t feel dirty. i didn’t feel like a burden to the creator—the one that could end me with a snap of his fingers. i didn’t feel like a disappointment.

my father always talked about addictions, and he warned me about them. whenever we would pass by the abandoned apartments, he would never miss the chance to tell me, “don’t give into your addictions.” or else i would end up like those college dropouts. i would turn away from staring at the lowlifes and nod over at him, reassuring him that i would never give into any temptation, because i had God by my side, ready to catch me if i felt myself slipping.

my father would smile in content, truly believing that his daughter would go to heaven.

that lonely night at a dimly lit diner, i found my addiction.

when he offered to drive me home, and kissed me before i could retreat to the safety of my room where i laid in bed, reminiscing about the feeling of his pink lips against mine, wishing he was laying beside me, i knew he was the addiction my father warned me about.

a sinfully sweet, life-consuming addiction.

i’m sorry, father.