#idk i get overly nervous about everything but yeah i think that could fit. at least for now

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

I am thinking I might actually use they/them and it/its pronouns along with she/her?? ???? ?????

[taetaespeaches]

“The displeasure was mine.”

hoseok x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.8K

a/n: Hi lovelies! This is Hobi and Petal/reader’s first meeting and well Petal is not impressed. But also, she’s intrigued. And secretly fond. But mostly annoyed. And Hobi is just happy and fond and he enjoys teasing her and yeah, it’s fluff but also idk what it is. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

IT was just a comment. Or a question rather. It shouldn’t have set you off the way it did, but the way it was asked, with complete lack of knowledge of who you really were and a total misunderstanding of your personality, it was… annoying.

Maybe it was also the way in which he asked the question. Stringing the words together through that sunshine grin he’d been flashing to everyone since he arrived.

More likely than not, it had everything to do with the fact that you had a shitty day and weren’t in the mood for partying, but had promised your friend that you would make an appearance, and was instantly reminded of that the second you tried to back out from coming. That was probably to blame.

But this man, irksomely handsome and optimistic, and for some reason on a mission to cheer you up, just had to ask you the question that was now grating on you as you mustered a tight smile in response to his bright one.

“Why are you so serious?”

That was it. That was all he asked.

You stared at the man for a total of three seconds before giving him the tiniest forced smile, knowing full well it relayed your annoyance.

“Do I know you?” You finally asked, the man’s eyes widening as he slowly shook his head.

“I believe this is the first time we’re meeting,” he replied, a bit more nervous than his initial question to you. He sat on the arm of the sofa that was perpendicular to the loveseat you were seated on.

“Right,” you nodded a couple times. “So why are you asking me about my mood as if we’ve met before?”

The handsome man simply stared at you for a split second before his smile widened once more, his almond-shaped eyes turning to crescents with his unflinching cheerfulness. “Well, I’m Hoseok,” he told you, holding a hand out to shake.

Scoffing at him, you looked down at his hand before meeting his gaze again. However, you noticed the knowing expression on his face as he took in the slight curve up on your lips that unwelcomingly appeared on your own face.

“Hoseok,” you repeated. “You’re the idol.” You had heard about the man before through your mutual friend who went to school with Hoseok. He cocked his head at you in excitement that you’d heard of him before. “You have an idol look,” you noted, the man giggling at the comment. Why did his laugh have to be so cute?

“What does that mean?” He asked curiously, the smile still planted on his features, not quite as wide but equally as bright.

“Handsome,” you shrugged, watching how that smile morphed into a boastful one as he shot you an arrogant look. Oh jesus.

“You think I’m handsome?” He asked, raising his eyebrows slightly, relishing in the compliment.

Looking at him with a judging expression, you looked away from him to scan the rest of the room. “Looks aren’t everything.”

As he chuckled in amusement you rolled your eyes, looking back to him. The annoyance you felt toward the man probably had nothing to do with Hoseok himself and everything to do with your poor mood, but suddenly it felt like your heart was pounding against your chest out of irritation. It had to be irritation.

However, despite the bothersome presence of the dude who seemed to be the actual embodiment of the sun, you found that your eyes were drawn to him. Before he approached you from across the party, you’d been watching him conversate with the other partygoers. It seemed like there was a spotlight that followed him across the room.

You had watched how he made the rounds, chatting with anyone and everyone, making it his goal to evoke laughter from them all. His bright enthusiasm appeared to be an act of service, as he tried to leave each individual happier than when the conversation first started. He seemed to get a high from entertaining the party. Like he wanted people to like him, or felt like it was his duty to provide cheer everywhere he went.

“Are you at least going to tell me your name so I know who had the complete displeasure of meeting me?” He joked, the comment nearly earning a genuine chuckle from you, but you held it back, instead just letting your mouth spread into a smile. “Ah, she smiles.”

“Occasionally,” you joked back. “Displeasure, I like that,” you added before telling him your name. “And yes, the displeasure is mine,” you smirked. Looking down at his hand, you realized he was still holding it out for you to shake, the smallest of breathy laughs leaving you. “Wow, you are persistent.”

“I’ll just leave it there, no pressure,” he told you, and you couldn’t help but smile a little longer.

“What’s your stage name, Idol Hoseok?” You suddenly asked, not even sure why you asked the question. Why did you care?

Twitching his head to the side quickly, he smiled at you. “You know,” he started, “I’m more than just an idol.” Though the words were said in a lighthearted tone, it felt as though they were cloaking a sentiment that may have touched on a bit of the man’s vulnerability. In fact, the overall cheerful demeanor, as genuine as it appeared, also seemed to be a mask or a shield of some sort, keeping people at a distance from the man underneath. As annoying as he was, he was intriguing.

“Mhmm, of course,” you told him dismissively.

Letting out a light chuckle, he shook his head. “J-Hope. That’s my stage name,” he told you.

“Oh, fitting,” you told him genuinely, completely understanding the name. Anyone who met Hoseok for even a few seconds surely understood why ‘hope’ was part of his stage name.

“Yeah?” He asked, acting just the slightest bit cocky once again. “Are you feeling more hopeful right now?”

“Mmm,” you hummed in feigned thought. “I’m hopeful this conversation might end soon. Does that count?”

Again, the man had the audacity to flash you that literal sunshine of a smile. “Well, hope is hope,” he told you through the smile. The comment once again had you letting out a small breathy laugh as you fought a smile, nodding at him. “Did you know that you are a very pleasant person to be around?” he asked teasingly.

“Yeah, it’s actually one of my stronger qualities,” you told him sarcastically.

“It must be right up there with friendly and approachable,” he joked back, making you once again have to hold back a laugh.

“Exactly,” you nodded. “That’s usually how people describe me.” Hoseok stared at you for a moment with a… fond smile. Why did he appear fond?  

“I’m sure,” he said simply, giving you a small smile. “You know you’re allowed to have fun at these things, right?”

“Who said I’m not having fun?” You questioned while cocking your head to the side.

“Well, your face,” he told you through a small smile.

“Ok, but like I pointed out already, you don’t even know me,” you reminded the man, his eyes immediately widening in panic.

“No, I-”

“You can think whatever you want about me, Hoseok,” you interrupted his scrambling for an explanation for his comments. You’d heard all the comments before about you being stuck up or moody or boring, Hoseok wouldn’t be the first or last to person to have that opinion of you. He was just one of the first who actively tried to cheer you up, and for some reason, the endearing sentiment of that action was angering.

“I don’t have an opinion-”

“Also, I don’t need you to try to cheer me up,” you added, glaring at the man. “I’m quite content in all my moodiness.”

“Look, I’m sorry if I offended-”

“No, don’t apologize,” you shook your head. “It’s fine, I just think you and I don’t really complement each other very well,” you told him bluntly, the man’s eyes widening in surprise.

“Well, maybe I beg to differ,” he commented, you letting an annoyed smile toy on your lips as his mouth curved into a smirk, almost as if he was accepting a challenge.

Pulling your eyebrows together in confusion at his expression, you stood up to leave the party you didn’t want to attend in the first place. “Thanks for the frustrating but slightly entertaining conversation, Hoseok,” you prepared to bid him farewell. Reaching your hand out, Hoseok giggled at the gesture, placing his own hand in yours. He squeezed your hand, the feeling of his warm soft hand against your own causing your heart to race once again. Um, what the fuck?

“Nice to meet you,” he told you with that infuriating smile that you couldn’t look away from.

“The displeasure was mine,” you replied, the man laughing once again, his mouth wide open as he let the amusement flow through him freely. Annoying. And definitely not just because it was way too cute for someone you were supposed to be irritated by.  Pulling your hand from his, you took a step away from him before meeting his gaze again. “Maybe if I’m unlucky enough I’ll see you around again,” you smirked.

You were met with his smile once again, as cheerful as ever. It seemed as though he knew he could get under your skin by being overly bubbly in your presence when you were throwing nothing but insults and unpleasantries.

“Already looking forward to it,” he teased, you rolling your eyes before finally walking away.

Hoseok watched as you crossed the room, walking up to your friend and telling her something, probably letting her know you were heading out.

He observed you as you smiled brightly at the mutual friend, adorably scrunching your nose as you giggled at something she said. A feeling of affection as well as a jealousy settled in his chest. You were stunning, cute, and surprisingly warm, but he wanted that directed toward him.

Scanning the room one last time as the friend talked to you, Hoseok smiled and gave you an arrogant head nod when your eyes landed on him. Blinking a couple times at him with a judging expression, you looked away from him, Hoseok chuckling to himself on the arm rest.

Continuing to stare at you, unable to look away, he watched as you hugged the friend and made your way to the front door. Just as Hoseok was about to look away from you to direct his attention to the partygoers who all seemed a bit less interesting after meeting you, you surprised him by looking back one more time.

With your eyes locked on one another’s, Hoseok gave you a small genuine smile as you resisted the urge to smile back. And with that, you left the apartment, but you stayed firmly in Hoseok’s mind.

And he didn’t think you’d ever leave.

[jungshookz]

i just saw this on tiktok & idk if it’ll make sense when i explain it but,, imagine y/n finally gets the balls to confess to someone (i was thinking yoongi but anyone else would still be cool) & does it but he has his headphones in,, the thing is he actually isnt listening to anything but he pretends that he didn’t hear her (bc he’s vv silly) and she’s just like “nvm” and then without blinking he goes “oh... well i like u too btw” & then BOOM they get married

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; unsurprisingly this is a university!au, fluff!!!!!!, friends to lovers duH

➺ wordcount: 3.3k

➺ what to expect; “i like-you like you… romantic… style… you know?”

➺ note; for the first time ever i have nothing to say but happy reading!!!! y/n’s awkward and yoongi likes to bully her whaT’s new

(original gif source unknown :-( but i found it off here!!)

                          «────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

okay

you know what

this is going to be great

this is going to go super well

you know why?

because you practiced this like, at least a hundred times over the past month!

you know what you’re talking about

you know exactly what to say and how to say it

(you might’ve written a script for yourself just to be safe)

((it’s scrunched up at the bottom of your bag))

“nothing to be nervous about…” you mumble to yourself as you fix your hair in the mirror

you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before promptly untucking it

…and then tucking it again

maybe you should do hair tucked behind your right ear but untucked on the left ear

or does that look weird??

how about if you pull your hair up into a bun?

…

well now you just look like a freshly boiled egg, so that’s certainly not going to work.

“i’m not nervous. not at all.” you mutter, turning side to side to make sure that all angles of your face look somewhat decent

the other day yoongi pointed out some unblended concealer on your jaw so now you’ve been beating your face twice as hard every morning to make sure that everything is blended to perfection

speaking of yoongi

he’s actually the reason why you’re talking to yourself in the bathroom like a crazy person

…you like him.

well, you’re pretty sure you like him…

you pause for a split second before shaking your head

no, yeah.

you definitely like him.

the two of you have known each other for about a year now?

the story of how your friendship started isn’t all that exciting, now that you think about it

you were both in the same psychology class and he was late on the very first day and the only empty seat that was closest to the door was one that was next to you

you were hoping to make a new friend this semester but yoongi definitely wasn’t the kind of friend you had in mind

you were hoping for someone bright and chipper anD it wouldn’t hurt if they just so happened to be very intelligent and helpful when it came to coursework

“sorry.” the latecomer mumbles when his foot accidentally nudges against your backpack on the floor

“all good.” you smile politely and lean down to push it under your legs

you let out a breath before bringing your attention back to the prof

“-now, i know that not everyone likes doing this, but it is the first day of class, so how about some icebreakers?”

you resist the urge to let out a groan of protest upon the mention of icebreakers

gOD

seriously?!?!

icebreakers???

you guys have to do icebreakers??

how old do these professors think you are??

you hate icebreakers

they’re the absolute worst!

especially the ones where you have to tell people three things about yourself or three hobbies you have

because you can never come up with interesting factoids about yourself when you’re put on the spot like that

you remember last semester one of the icebreakers for your english class was two truths and a lie and to make matters worse it wasn’t like a ‘turn to the person sitting next to you’ exercise, it was a ‘everyone’s going to go around the room and share with the entire class’ exercise

and when it was your turn, the only thing you could come up with was: “i… am a human being. i… have teeth. and i… like… cilantro…?”

…

what the hell was that?

you clear your throat quietly when everyone looks at you like you’re insane

well, you technically followed the rules of the game

you aRE a human being

you DO indeed have chompers

and you hate cilantro!

but uh

out of all the things you could’ve said, those three were admittedly a little odd

“is the lie that you’re a human being? because you’re acting like an alien trying to fit in with us humans, my friend!” the girl sitting next to you (you later find out that her name is judy and you’d just like to say that you nevER liked her because she was one of those overly ‘i’m just happy to be here!!’ people that made you want to slam your face into a wall) nudges your side and you resist the urge to slap her hand away

the class immediately bursts into scattered laughter and you flash your prof a sheepish smile

so yeah

icebreakers have never been your forte and you don’t think they ever will be

“turn to the person next to you and… god, i don’t know…”

see??

even the prof seems reluctant to do this so wHY is he forcing everyone to do this????

“okay, how about this! tell them what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner yesterday. you can tell a lot about a person by what they eat in their every day lives. there we go.”

you press your lips together as you awkwardly manoeuvre yourself so that you’re facing the left

you force a smile onto your face when the stranger turns to face you as well

“do you wanna-”

“so like-”

the both of you speak at the same time and you immediately clamp up

well, this is just wonderful, isn’t it?

two seconds in and you already want to hurl yourself into the middle of a busy intersection

“oh, um, i’m y/n, by the way.” you lean in a little in case he can’t hear you

“cool, nice to meet you.” he nods as his fingers drum against his kneecap, “i’m yoongi.”

“oh, cool. yeah, nice to meet you too. yeah…”

“yeah…”

oh dear god

this entire interaction just makes you want to shrivel up and die

“so… should i go f-”

“look, we don’t have to do this, like… i personally hate icebreakers and i think i’ll survive without knowing what you ate yesterday. no offense.” yoongi chuckles before scratching the back of his neck, “we can just go back to doing our own thing until the professor calls time.” he shrugs before putting a single earbud in

you pause

oh!

okay

well

that worked out in your favour

“alright, no problem. i hate icebreakers too, so…” you turn back to look at your laptop

you stare at your empty google doc as your fingers drum aimlessly against the trackpad

you turn to take a look around

everyone else is just chatting their mouths off so you feel a little awkward sitting here doing nothing

…okay fiNE you’re just going to say something

“i mean, i guess it’s a good thing we’re not sharing anything with each other because i had, like, an embarrassing number of goldfish crackers for breakfast yesterday.”

yoongi nods before offering you a tightlipped smile

you press your lips together before slumping down in your seat a little

alllrighty

tough crowd this morning!

whEn is the professor going to call time??

at least you can use this time to think about where you’re going to sit next time

maybe you’ll sit in the front

smart people usually sit in the front, right???

you-

“what flavour?” you perk up when yoongi suddenly speaks up

he’s still scrolling through his phone and noT looking at you but you’ll take it

“the cinnamon graham cracker ones.”

he turns to raise a brow at you, “what? that’s not a flavour.”

“sure it is!” you scoff and open up your browser to search them up

“i only know about the cheddar ones. and cheddar is the superior flavour.”

you turn your laptop to show yoongi your screen, “see, check it out! there’s more than just cheddar.”

“oh. wow.”

and yeah

that’s how your guys’ first interaction went!

see?

nothing to rave about

it’s funny because you remember after hanging out with yoongi for the first time (the both of you had an hour and a half gap before your other classes) you told yourself that you weren’t allowed to like him

you have this tendency to immediately fall in love with someone just because they’re nice to you

like one time, this guy held the door open for you at the library and shot you a smile and a ‘no problem’ after you thanked him and you couldn’t stop thinking about him for literally two weeks straight

you’ve given him the affectionate title of library boy

you still think about him from time to time!

so you were pretty surprised to find that you weren’t slowly crushing on yoongi a month after meeting him

(you like to think it’s because sometimes he talks with his mouth full and that’s one of your turn offs)

this was a personal achievement for you!

not falling in love with someone after one day of getting to know them?

gold star for y/n!! :D

and you were pretty sure that this ‘friendship’ was just going to be one of those semester friendships

you know, the ones where you hang out a lot solely because you’re in the same class and it’s good + convenient to have a buddy in the same class

and after the semester ends you promise to meet up with them next semester and it never actually happens so it’s just an endless cycle of ‘hey, you free this week?’ and ‘i can’t this week, what about next week?’

and eventually you just stop talking to the other person because that’s just how it is

and when you see them in line for coffee at starbucks you’ll obviously say hi to them and the two of you will be like omg we have to hang out soon!!! but in your minds you’ll be thinking something like even if the world was ending we are not going to find time to hang out

you know, that kind of friendship!

not to mention, you don’t have a lot of boy-friends in the first place so you were positive that this was a business only friendship

so you were more than shocked to see the ‘i’m starving. let’s get pizza for lunch. where u at?’ text from yoongi at the beginning of the second semester

and now, here you are!

one year later and you’re still getting i’m starving. let’s get [insert food of choice here] for lunch. where u at? texts from yoongi

the only difference between now and then is the fact that you are completely and utterly whipped for yoongi

110% in love with that man

you don’t even know what changed!!!!

one day he was telling you a story with his mouth full as per usual and instead of finding it gross you actually thought it was cute how he seemed to resemble a chipmunk

and then you started to notice other things about him that you found cute

like the way his eyes light up whenever you bring him an iced coffee

or the way he throws his head back and places a hand on his chest when he’s laughing reaLLy hard over something you said

or how he leans back in his chair before sticking his foot up on the seat in front of him while chewing on the lid of his pen

and even your tradition of flipping each other off after you hop off the bus at your stop has your heart fluttering

you really can’t explain what happened

you kind of just woke up one morning and was like:

…do i like yoongi?

omg DO I??

this is… month five of your crush on him?

the only reason why you finally decided it was time to tell him about your feelings was because you spent the entire weekend reading friends to lovers fan fiction and now you’re all revved up and ready to rumBLE

if it can happen to a fictional character it could certainly happen to a very real human being like you

and even if he doesn’t like you back (womp womp) it’ll be fine

it won’t be the end of the world!

yoongi’s always been super chill so you’re pretty sure it’s not going to destroy the friendship

if anything he’ll just use it to tease you sometimes (“hey i’m thirsty do u maybe wanna buy a drink for me? …the love of your life?”) and you’re completely fine with that

sure, it’ll be a little embarrassing to have to sit through the ‘i just think you’re a really good friend’ conversation but you’ll get over it

“look who’s finally back.” yoongi glances up at you, “did you have a nice poop???” he says loudly and you can’t help but scowl when you get a couple glances your way

he giggles to himself before looking back down at his phone

“very mature, yoongi.” you snort as you take your seat, “you child.”

a beat of silence ticks by and you feel your leg started to bounce anxiously under the table

maybe this isn’t a good idea

…

NO

you’re not allowed to back out of this!

you literally spent so much time hyping yourself up in the bathroom

you’d have wasTed hours of rehearsing if you change your mind now

“okay, i’m just-” your voice wavers and you clear your throat quickly, “i’m just going to say something, and… and don’t interrupt me or anything until i’m done, because then you’ll ruin my train of thought.” you pause to let out a breath, “i like you, yoongi. and not, like, in general… i mean i do like you in general but i like-you like you… romantic… style… you know?”

okay

well

it seems that maybe you needed to practice what you were going to say one last time because ‘i like-you like you romantic style’ definitely wasn’t in the original script of this tragic screenplay

“to be honest, i’m really not sure what changed. i know that we’re pretty good friends and all but i just felt like i had to tell you about my feelings. you know, i… i really care about you and you’re one of the most important people in my life, if i’m being honest. you’ve always been there for me and, i don’t know… i’ve liked you for nearly five months, and the only reason why i didn’t wanna tell you was because i didn’t want to, like, potentially ruin our friendship? oh, and it’s totally okay if you don’t like me back, i just figured you should know! i mean, it’s literally fine if you don’t feel the same way, and you don’t have to give me the whole pity speech because i know from firsthand experience that you’re literally the worst at trying to make someone feel better so… yeah! i guess that’s all i had to tell you. i like you.”

you twiddle with a strand of your hair nervously as you conclude your little speech and wait for yoongi’s response

…

…

…

yoongi looks up at you before plucking an earbud out

“what?”

you immediately feel all the blood drain from your face

he… he didn’t even…. he didn’t hear a sINGLE thing of what you just…

you just poured your heart out to him and he was listening to music this entire time?!?!?!

if anything, this is a sign from god

this is god giving you a chance to rethink the whole confessing your undying love for yoongi thing

this is god telling you that you should thank Him and spend the rest of your life praising Him for saving you from a lifetime of embarrassment!

you swallow thickly before letting out a nervous chuckle, “wh- what?”

“did you say something?”

“me? i did, but it’s not important.” you wave it off before letting out a scoff, “it’s whatever. it’s… yeah, it’s fine. all good.”

“‘kay.” yoongi sighs as he plugs his earbud back in, “but for the record, i like you too.”

“yeah, well-” you look back up at yoongi quickly

what did he-

did he just-

are you hearing things??

“um-” you shake your head quickly before leaning in a little, “sorry, what?”

yoongi sets his phone down before reaching up to pluck out both his earbuds

“did i stutter?” he sniffles before folding his arms and putting them on the table

you blink

you can’t tell if he’s joking or not because of the complete lack of emotion in his face

like that one time you were really upset over completely bombing your midterm and yoongi looked at you with the pokeriest of poker faces and was like: “this one, single test doesn’t define your intelligence. you’re one of the hardest working people i know and you’re a very diligent student. i’ll help you study for your next midterm. i believe in you.” and you were just like ?????

so right now with yoongi telling you that he likes you back..,., you genuinely can’t tell if he’s teasing you or not

“i don’t… i don’t know what you’re saying…” you feel like your eyes are going to dry out from how wiDe they are

“i’m saying that if you asked me if i wanted to go and make out with you behind the bookshelves right now…” yoongi hums as he leans back against his chair, “i would say yes. i would even go as far as to say hell yes.”

??????

what is happening?????

are you having a fever dream???

is THIS what a stroke feels like???

“actually, i’m starving. let’s go get some food.” yoongi gets up from his seat before grabbing his backpack and flinging one strap over his shoulder

you feel like you’re on autopilot mode as you get up slowly from your seat

you’re just… trying to process… what the hell is going on…

okay

um

so he does like you back??

“hey-” you look over to see that yoongi’s already picked up your backpack for you and has his free hand sticking out, “are you going to hold my hand or not?”

see???

how are you supposed to interpret that???

you look down at his hand and blink at it cluelessly

so he wants you guys to hold hands??

“for god’s sake-” yoongi rolls his eyes before grabbing your hand and gently tugging you along, “i have to do everything for you-”

“oh, that is so not true!” you snap out of your trance to defend yourself, “i’m just thinking about- so you could hear me the entire time??”

your stomach does a flip when yoongi suddenly brings your hand up to his mouth before brushing a sweet little kiss along your knuckles

“i like-you like you romantic style, too.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[gaemkyuu]

I’m Right Here (Owen Joyner x Fictional Character

Warnings: anxiety attack and self-deprecation A/N: Sorry this one took so long! The fictional character has been shamed for her anxiety from her parents. The experience of an anxiety attack is based on the ones I have. It’s different for everyone. Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

I’m Right Here

“Hey Jade! Wait up!” Jade was walking out of her trailer and on her way to her car, until she heard Owen call out for her. She paused and turned around to face the tall blonde, who stopped in front of her slightly out of breath. He bent slightly over his knees, catching his breath and still in costume.

“Aren’t you supposed to be filming a scene right now?” she cocked her eyebrow at him and rested a hand on her hip. They were on set filming for Julie and the Phantoms season 2, and Jade was brought in as a minor character as a part of Carrie’s posse. She didn’t have any major dialogues save the one or two quips her character had, so she was mostly there for the dance portions. That often meant she was able to leave set earlier or she had less days on set than others.

“Yeah, they’re setting up, but I wanted to catch you before heading out” Owen started to shift his weight from leg to leg and began to avoid eye contact. Jade felt butterflies in her stomach but immediately tried to suppress them, knowing that what she hoped was happening was probably not. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, only for them to be deflated. “You got any plans Tomorrow night?”

“Just snuggling with my dog and drinking wine while singing karaoke” she mentally facepalmed herself at her honesty. She just sealed the deal on being forever single. Owen fidgeted and the air between them became awkward, no thanks to Jade’s awkward confession.

“Listen, I was wondering, and you can totally say no, if you wanted to maybe go to dinner with me? That’s if dinner is something you do, not like eat, because I’m sure you eat dinner, but if you don’t I’m not judging you. I mean like dinner dinner, y’know?” the boy looked frazzled and a little desperate to stop his verbal diarrhea from making him look even stupider than he did in that current moment. 

“Like a date?” Jade hoped she wasn’t being too forward, but then again, a girl had to know. Owen gave her a sheepish smile and a nod yes, instantly filling her with excitement. “YES! Uhm... I mean sound great. I’d totally love- i mean like to go on a date with you” she blushed furiously, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate or too excited.

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7?” she nodded and he smiled turning around and jogging back to set. Jade felt like she could fly or bench press a bus. She always tried to deny having feelings for him, but whenever she was asked she would stumble over her words and everyone instantly knew. Savannah and Tori often teased her about her feelings and pushed her to ask him out, but she was too nervous. Correction, she was too afraid to be rejected.

Jade never thought of herself as anything more than a plain and ordinary girl who happened to be able to dance well. She wasn’t overly pretty but she wasn’t hideous either, and there were very little standout qualities. Most people described her as quiet, mousy with a pretty smile, but nothing ever more than that. She believed she got it from her family as they too were described similarly. Her mother was a dentist and her father worked at a law firm. She was an only child and they have always lived a comfortable life, so naturally Jade never had any interesting stories to tell. She was just your average plain Jane.

The drive back to her apartment was full of joy and she blasted the music in her car as she drove, singing along to every tune. She was extremely excited to go on this date and her enthusiasm carried on as she bounced to her apartment door and inside. Placing her keys on the counter by the door, she went to her closet to pick out the best outfit. Looking at the array of clothing, she picked out a few and sent them to her co-stars/best friends for their opinions. Unfortunately, they both had different ideas as to what she should wear that night.

Sav: go for something cute and conservative! Southern boys like all American girls!

Tori: go for something a little sexy Cali girl. Like I’m a good girl but I’m also capable of being bad too

Sav: for the first date? Idk...

Tori: Sav, do you really think Owen is only about them all American girls? He was the one talking about how peaches were a brilliant emojis for butts

Sav: point taken.

Sav: go for something that best represents you!

Jade: a paper bag?

Tori: really?

Tori: you are more than just a paper bag J

Sav: we gotta go, Kenny’s calling places. I’m sure what you’ll pick will be fine! Send us a pic!

Jade frowned that her friends couldn’t chat longer to help her, but she knew she had to do this on her own. After filing through clothing, she finally found something she liked but noticed that she had spent an hour picking an outfit. Owen would be by in two hours, meaning that she had to speed up her process if she didn’t want to feel rushed!

 She slipped stepping into the tub to take a shower, smashing her elbow on the towel bar. She quickly tried to rub the pain as she cursed under her breath. She had no time to be clumsy! She started her shower up and gracefully hopped in this time, hoping to avoid any further injury. After doing her daily hygiene routine, she applied the hair mask and wrapped it up in a shower cap, applying her face mask right after. She noticed that her legs felt the slightest bit fuzzy and cursed herself for not shaving in the shower. Quickly glazing at her phone for the time, she slathered on shaving cream and attempted to shave her leg using her bathroom counter, which was a mistake. She slipped, nicking her leg on the way down, bumping her head against the wall too.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, not a big deal Jade” she comforted herself. “Stick a Band-Aid on it and just wear jeans!”

She began to wash out the hair and facemask, making a mental note to patch herself up after. As she patted her face dry, she opened the medicine cabinet to grab a Band-Aid, when the lights shut off. Fumbling around for her phone, she quickly turned on the flashlight to find a Band-Aid and her bathrobe. Slipping on the robe, she made her way to the apartment breaker. Nothing had tripped on the breaker panel, but the power in her suite was completely shut off.

“That’s fine! You’ll just have to go with your natural curls instead of spicing things up with a straightener!” she could already feel the nauseous and claustrophobic feeling in her chest creep up on her, but she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Now was not a good time for her to have an anxiety attack. She had an hour and fifteen minutes before Owen came. Plenty of time... right?

Making her way over to her closet, she began to look for another outfit that would look good with the jeans that she had picked out. She tried on top after top, but nothing seemed to fit right. Giving a huff in frustration, she sat on the bed to take a deep breath. She had to get going if she was going to have enough time to do her makeup, but it seemed like life had other plans. All of a sudden, the fire alarm in the complex went off, indicating that everyone was being asked to evacuate. She jumped at the noise and quickly threw on a sweater, grabbing her passport, wallet, documents and phone before exiting the building with the other residents. 

It turned out to be a fire drill that was scheduled to happen last week, but Jade had completely forgotten about it. They all had to stand outside while the fire marshal cleared the building and checking the safety of it. By the time Jade had made her way back into the building and up to her suite, she had 30 minutes before Owen came over. She hated the outfit she was wearing, her hair was a mess due to the wind outside and she had no makeup on!

The feeling in her chest increased gradually as she rushed around the house, doing her best to multitask. The power came back on when she entered the suite, so she tried straightening her hair as the curls were a mess, but she underestimated her multitasking skills. She burnt herself multiple times as she tried to do her makeup and hair at the same time. It didn’t help that the bottom half of her hair was straight and the bottom half wasn’t, and her eyeliner was uneven. Looking at herself in the mirror stressed her out even more, so she washed her face and decided to restart. The alarm on her phone notified her that Owen would be at the door in 5 minutes, and that’s when everything bubbled over. Looking at her messy face, half done hair, wet shirt and jeans, she sniffled until the tears welled over. She sank to the bathroom floor feeling like an idiot. No normal person would be this upset over their appearance, so why was she? Would Owen think she was weird because of this? Would he even want to go out with her? Her breathing increased and she started to feel her ensuite close in on her, signaling a full blown anxiety attack.

Jade wasn’t comfortable talking about her anxiety. Her parents often made her feel like she was overreacting or seeking attention whenever they happened, but they never understood that if Jade had the choice, these things wouldn’t get to her. This feeling that you need to escape, but you don’t have the energy so you’re just a buzzing ball sitting in a deep dark hole. She would often cry during her attacks, ashamed that she lost control and ashamed that she got to this place. Her friends would tell her to seek professional help for it, but she waved them off knowing that if she did see someone, it would make things worse between her and her parents. She loved them a lot and often sought for their approval, and doing this would work against the hard work she put in to make them proud.

“Jade?...unlocked...hope that’s okay?... helloo?....dead?.... Jade?”

“Jade? Hey... Hey you’re okay...”

“Jade? It’s Owen.”

“Squeeze my hand if you hear me”

“Okay good. I want you to breathe with me”

“You’re doing great”

“That’s it”

“Breathe in for five, out for five”

“In five”

“Out five”

The murkiness of the voice became clearer and clearer as she regained control of her breathing. She began to feel a warmth enveloping her and holding her firmly. She wasn’t in the bathroom anymore but rather on the sofa in her living room with the balcony door open, letting in a cool breeze. 

“Jade?” She focused her attention on the blonde boy who sat beside her, his arm currently wrapped around her and the other holding her hand. “Hey” his smile was warm and understanding, but Jade couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. Seeing this, Owen knew immediately what was happening. Before the apology left her lips, Owen had already began to speak.

 “You have nothing to apologize for... Is this the first time?” She bowed her head sadly, wiping away the tears and shaking her head no. In this moment, she felt like a little kid getting into trouble, bracing herself for the disappointment she caused.

“Listen, I know how you feel. Your anxiety? Your panic? I feel it every day. You don’t have to be ashamed in front of me. Hell, you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed in front of anyone. Everyone goes through this right? Well obviously, in their own ways and not like you and me, but I think you get the point” his rant elicited a small chuckle from the girl. “Want to talk about it?”

Jade nodded her head, feeling comfortable around him. She recounted her struggles since getting home to the razor to the power to the fire drill up until their current moment. Owen was silent and attentive the entire time, hanging on to every word that came from her mouth.

“I mean, I’m flattered that you put in all this work to go on a date with me, but seriously, and I’m not saying this to like get on your good side or anything, but you don’t need all the makeup and stuff. You’re pretty pretty on your own” she smiled at his comment, grateful for the compliment as it made her feel better.

“Thanks, I’m sorry I ruined our date” he scoffed and shook his head, moving to the kitchen counter picking up the flowers he had brought for her.

“I was going to give these to you at the door, but seeing as the plans have changed, you should probably take them and put them in some water?” she blushed at the gesture and took them gratefully from him. As she puttered around the kitchen for some sort of vase, he tapped away on his phone. “Do you like pizza?”

“Owen, I LOVE pizza” he grinned back at her and tapped a couple more times on his phone. “What are you doing?”

“Bringing date night to us.” he replied simply, locking his screen and plopping down on the couch, clicking through the apps on the TV. “Alright, so you’re gonna show me your favorite musical and I will show you mine”

Jade thought that in order to make a good impression on a first date, you had to look perfect. Owen that night helped her see that when two people like each other, Pizza and Musicals are all you need on a first date.

[skzleeknow12]

Betrayal - Stray Kids

Summary: After years of losing touch after a harsh betrayal, CEO Park Seolhee is reunited with her best friends as they sign a business deal. However, she is not the same as she was all those years ago, so how will she react when the members of Stray Kids ask for her forgiveness as well as a rekindling of their friendship?

Warnings: None (this is my first time writing a fanfic/drabble/scenario idk what to call it lol, so it’s not as good as the other stories on Tumblr but I think it will be enjoyable to read so please do read it and maybe repost it too! Also, the summary is not to good and makes the story seem more boring than it actually is hehe. Thank you in advance for reading this :)

Word count: Approximately 6k

…

“Miss Kim, please tell me my schedule for next week,” Seolhee said as she tiredly leaned back in her chair. This week had been anything but relaxing; calling it chaotic would be an understatement. Seolhee was just glad that after this she got to go home; her plan for the weekend was simple: sit in bed and watch kdramas whilst stuffing her mouth with pepperoni pizza.

“Of course Madam,” Yoojin said as she took out the timetable. The two were close friends but they had to act professional at work; the last thing Seolhee needed was for her position as CEO to be taken away due to something as small as her not talking formally. She had built this company from scratch, sleepless nights and a diagnosis of depression had been the consequences but at the end of the day, she was satisfied with what she had achieved. Of course, Yoojin had been by her side the entire time, making it more worthwhile. “JYP Entertainment recently got in touch with our advertising team and they really wanted their boy group Stray Kids to wear our outfits from the Cle clothing line for their latest upcoming comeback. At 9:00 am on Monday, you have a meeting with them, all the final details will be discussed then and our fashion directors will bring the samples to see which member would suit which one. After that -” She had been about to continue when Seolhee had cut her off, startling her as she immediately sat upright in her seat, staring with wide eyes. “Madam, are you alright?”

“Did… did you just say Stray Kids? As in JYP’s boy group?” Seolhee asked with a shaky voice.

“Yes, Madam I did… oh no,” Yoojin said and she instantly realised why Seolhee had reacted the way she had. She poured her a glass of water and sat down as she watched her gulp the water down in three big takes. “Seolhee, it’s them, isn’t it? Your old friends?” Seolhee didn’t say anything about her dropping the formalities as she reluctantly shook her head.

“Yoojin, what do I do?” she asked her best friend desperately, “I never wanted to see them again, now I have to work with them? I can’t do that.” Flashbacks appeared before her and she swallowed the lump in her throat, trying not to cry at the pain of the hurtful memories.

“Listen, this could be a good thing,” Yoojin said, holding her hand across the desk, “this could finally give you the coverage you need. You left without letting them apologise, you basically disappeared from their lives. I know this has always tormented you, so this could be the perfect opportunity to end everything once and for all. And if not, maybe you could become friends again?” Seolhee immediately stood up, slamming her hands onto the desk in front of her, a scene which was not uncommon to Yoojin as she just sighed at her friends agitated state.

“No,” Seolhee began, staring out of the big window, “I don’t need any coverage. Cancel this business deal; we will not be taking part in it.” Yoojin widened her eyes and tried to think of a different approach.

“Seolhee, listen to yourself,” she said urgently as she took her friend by the shoulders. “You would be letting go of such an amazing opportunity. If Stray Kids advertised our clothing line, think of how popular it would get. This is such an amazing offer; it would help our company so much.” Seolhee thought about it for a second before she walked towards the window, her back facing Yoojin.

“No Yoojin,” she said quietly, “I’ve managed to make our company the top in the whole of Korea; I did that myself. In the past years, we’ve been able to extend our business all the way to the western markets, everyone knows us. We don’t need Stray Kids to help us out, we are perfectly fine by ourselves.”

“Listen, I know that our company is the top one, I’m not denying your hard work,” Yoojin said softly, “but this could help us maintain our position at the top. We have a lot of competitors who would always be willing to let Stray Kids advertise them. This offer has fallen right into our laps without us even having to do anything. We can’t let it go.”

“We’ve had BTS, Twice, Itzy and so many more advertise for us,” Seolhee said, “and they’re the biggest things at the moment. We’ll be fine, we don’t need Stray Kids.”

“But Seolhee, Stray Kids are the highest wanted group for brand ambassador at the moment,” Yoojin pleaded, “we could benefit from them so much. Listen, you need to think as a CEO, ok? What would you tell everyone if asked why you rejected this business deal? That you’re still hurting from your broken friendship? You need to make sure your personal life doesn’t affect your professional life, and you know I’m right.” Seolhee looked back at her, and she didn’t want to admit it, but Yoojin was right. All of her hard work could go to waste if another company partnered with Stray Kids, they would go to the top and her company would lose its top position. She couldn’t let that happen. With a hesitant nod, she looked at Yoojin, who seemed beyond satisfied that Seolhee had listened to her. She didn’t want to see her best friend’s hard work go to waste just because of her past.

“Fine,” Seolhee said, “but don’t tell them that I know they’re coming, and don’t tell them that I’m the CEO. I’ll stay professional during the meeting and leave immediately after, ok?” Yoojin walked towards her and engulfed her in a hug.

“Of course,” she said as she patted her back, “don’t worry, it will all be fine. No one is forcing you to talk to them. You do what makes you comfortable, ok?”

It was Sunday night and Seolhee had been tossing and turning in her bed for what felt like an eternity. She was beyond nervous about having to meet the members again, what would she even say to them? No, she wouldn’t talk to them about anything apart from the business deal. She would leave immediately after to make sure they wouldn’t be able to say anything to her. Why would they want to talk to her anyway? They were the ones who grew tired of her. Even though it was so long ago, the pain was still fresh whenever Seolhee thought about it.

(Flashback)

Seolhee excitedly rang the doorbell at Felix’s house as she held her self-baked cake in her hands, making sure the card was stuck at the bottom of the box. She couldn’t believe that after so much hard work and pain, the boys were finally debuting. She knew how much they had waited to hear this news and she was beyond happy for them. She was a bit weirded out by the fact that none of them told her and that she had to find out through her classmates congratulating them on Instagram, but she shrugged it off as she saw a figure approaching the door. The door opened and there stood Felix’s mother, smiling brightly at her.

“Seolhee, it’s so good to see you!” she said as she carefully hugged the girl, making sure not to accidentally ruin the cake in her hands. “Is that for the boys? They’re in the living room, come with me.” She led her to the living room and whilst they were walking there, Seolhee heard the voice of all of them laughing, as well as the sound of an unfamiliar girl. Miss Lee’s phone suddenly rang so she excused herself as she answered it. Seolhee put the cake down on the small table in the hallway as she checked her appearance. She picked it up and was about to enter the room when they all erupted into another fit of loud laughter, and she peeked through the door and saw the girl laughing at a picture from one of the boy’s phones. Of Seolhee. Their backs were towards her so they couldn’t have known she was there, and the girl was too busy laughing to notice her too. Seolhee quickly stepped back, not wanting to be seen but she still decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“The amount of confidence she has to post these kind of pictures!” the girl laughed and to Seolhee’s horror, the boys were laughing alongside her. “And what is this?! She literally looks like a pregnant woman filling herself because of her cravings!”

“I know, we always told her to eat less but she never took us seriously!” Seolhee’s heart broke as she heard Chan dissing her weight. Chan, the one who had always told her she was perfect no matter what.

“Yeah, she could easily eat 10 boxes of pizza and at the end of it whine about being hungry, just like a fat pig I swear to god!” she never thought she would hear such things come out of Minho and Jisung’s mouths, sure they teased her but she thought they did it in a friendly way. And she always thought she ate the right amount, not just living off of air like the girls at school.

“Her visuals remind me of a warthog!” Hyunjin laughed and Seolhee felt her heart rip apart. The others joined in with equally insulting observations, mostly about how fat she was and how out of place she looked. She looked down at herself and instantly shuddered. They were right, she was ugly. She had never paid much attention to it, she always thought she was average among the class of overly-skinny girls at school, but after hearing her own friends say those things about her, she couldn’t help but think how stupid she had been to think she was fine. She had allowed them to see her in her worst states, for instance during the many movie nights they had she never wore makeup, always opted to wear baggy sweatpants and t-shirts as well as keeping her hair in a messy bun. She didn’t realize how awful she had looked to them; she always thought they didn’t care about those kind of small things. Her mother wasn’t in the world anymore to be able to tell her these kinds of things, so she had never tried. From the brief seconds she had looked at the girl in the room with them, she had noted how gorgeous and petite she was; of course the boys would prefer her. Just at that moment, Felix’s mother came back, and noticing the silent tears dripping down Seolhee’s face, she immediately became worried.

“Seolhee, why are you crying?” she asked and Seolhee immediately heard the others turn silent. She heard someone curse lowly and the next second she saw Felix standing in the doorway of the living room, panic all across his face.

“Seolhee I -” he started but was cut off as she hurriedly mumbled to his mother that she had to be somewhere. In her hurry to leave, she accidentally dropped the cake and felt guilty that Felix’s mother had to clean it up, but she didn’t turn back. She could hear the boys shouting after her but she didn’t listen to them. She heard them running after her and quickly crossed the road whilst simultaneously waving down a taxi. The taxi came at such a high speed and somehow managed to stop only a few seconds before reaching her. In her fright, she fell to the ground as she screamed, and she heard the boys from the other side of the road. To her horror, they were about to cross the road and the last thing she wanted was to hear their excuses, so she quickly stood up and ran to the side of the taxi, stopping the driver as he got out to check if she was ok.

“Please… start driving,” she said quickly and he gave her a worried look but obliged. They zoomed off and the last thing Seolhee saw was the faces of the boys as they looked distraught, some of them running their fingers through their hair frustratedly.

Her phone had been blowing up with messages from them, both from their group chat as well as privately; even Felix’s mother had asked her what had happened, and their phone calls seemed never-ending. Finally after she could take it no more, she blocked all their numbers and left the group chat, as well as not bothering to listen to the countless voicemails they had sent. She would never trust them again, no matter what they said. They came to her house many times, but she never answered the door, and after growing tired from knocking, they would eventually leave, telling her they would be back the next day. She hated this, so after the 5th day she decided to phone her friend from a business camp she had attended a few months ago.

“Yoojin?” she said brokenly as she ignored the girls energetic greeting.

“Seolhee? What happened, are you ok?” she asked urgently and her heart broke as she heard her friend completely break down in tears. “Listen where are you right now? I’m coming to your apartment ok; it will take 45 minutes but I’ll try and get there as fast as possible, ok?”

“No… no, don’t come, I’m f-fine,” Seolhee stuttered and she heard Yoojin groan agitatedly.

“You’re not ok, I’m on my way,” she said firmly and all Seolhee could do was nod, “I’m already in my car and I’m leaving now, I’ll be there soon ok? Love you.”

As soon as Yoojin ended the phone, Seolhee immediately went to her room and locked herself inside, shrinking down in front of the mirror as she looked at herself. She had never been girly, but she thought she was fine the way she was. She never thought her friends would focus on something so materialistic like weight and looks rather than her heart. She had been so mistaken. After what felt like an eternity of crying, she didn’t know what force overcame her but she found herself walking towards the washroom and frantically started searching through the drawers to find a razor. She had never self-harmed before, she had never even thought of doing it, not even when her parents died, but at that current moment it looked so appealing. Without thinking twice, she slid the razor down her arm and winced as she felt the sharp pain. She watched the blood drip and it strangely satisfied her. She heard frantic knocking on the front door and realised that Yoojin had arrived. She felt numb and gave no reaction when Yoojin freaked out over her bloody arm, but she finally opened up about what happened as Yoojin tended to her wounds on the sofa. She expected Yoojin to get up and leave, but instead she saw her go to her bedroom. She didn’t feel like following her and just stayed on the sofa, staring off into the distance. Yoojin snapped her out of her trance when she gently pulled her up, and when Eunji looked around, she saw that Yoojin had packed most of her stuff.

“You’re coming with me,” she said firmly and started dragging her towards the door. Seolhee looked around her small apartment, she had made so many memories here and she felt emotional to depart from it so suddenly. “Don’t worry, we’ll come back after a few days to get the rest of your stuff. But you’re not staying here yourself. You’re living with me in my apartment now.” Seolhee didn’t even protest and watched Yoojin in silence as she locked her apartment door whilst dragging her suitcase, as well as simultaneously pulling her along with her. When they reached the ground floor and were making their way to Yoojin’s car, Seolhee suddenly heard someone shout her name and recognized her friends running towards her. She heard Yoojin curse under her breath as she quickly put Seolhee’s suitcase into the boot of the car.

“Seolhee!” Felix called as they ran up to her. To their pain, Seolhee turned her face away from them and didn’t answer, but not before they all caught a glimpse of her puffy tear-stained cheeks. Yoojin glared at all of them before guiding Seolhee to the passenger seat, gently yet firmly pushing her inside.

“Leave,” she harshly told the boys, who looked surprised and confused. They had met Yoojin only a few times but they knew her to be bright and energetic like Seolhee; this person looked different. “You have no right to talk to her.”

“Let us talk to Seolhee,” Changbin said but Yoojin shook her head.

“No way,” she hissed, “and don’t ever come here again. Seolhee’s going to live with me now, and if I see you again in front of her I won’t hesitate to beat you all up.” Changbin looked like he was about to say something back but Jeongin’s timid voice interrupted him.

“Y-you’re leaving Seolhee?” he asked painfully, talking to Seolhee who had somehow forgotten to close the car door. She sniffed softly and Yoojin quickly shut it and glared at the boys again.

“Really I’m shocked,” she snarled at them, “I thought you guys were different, but you’re all just jerks. She’s leaving, and don’t even think about coming in front of her again. You’ve hurt her enough, both physically and emotionally. Go to your friend who you so easily talked crap about Seolhee with.” With that she turned around and got into the driver’s seat, and the boys watched as she gave Seolhee a hug whilst wiping the tears from her face before reversing and leaving. That was the last time they saw or heard from her.

Seolhee stood outside her company’s building and was genuinely considering phoning in ill just so that she could avoid the meeting, but she later decided against it.

“You need to get over it once and for all,” she told herself, “show them how great you’ve become.” She took a deep breath before walking inside. She checked the time on her vintage watch. 8:39 am. She still had 20 minutes left so she decided to go to her office, hoping Yoojin would be there, and she was right. As soon as she entered, Yoojin engulfed the younger girl in a big hug.

“I’m really proud of you for going through with this,” she whispered, “I’m here for you, ok?” Seolhee nodded and accepted the bottle of water Yoojin had handed over to her. The two sat down and talked and before she knew it, Seolhee realised it was 8:50 am and she had to make her way to the meeting room, as well as check in on her colleagues and workers on the way there. She greeted anyone she saw and they greeted her back with a big smile. She was known for being a cold but kind, firm but soft CEO, and this dynamic of hers caused her to be loved by everyone for it. She reached the meeting room and she could already hear the boys talking and laughing loudly. She sighed deeply and put her cold CEO gear on before opening the door. She strode in as the boys quickly scrambled up to greet her and avoided the looks on their faces as they looked at her in shock. She greeted her fashion team and engaged in small talk with them as she set her things on down on the table before turning to look at the boys, who were all frozen in place.

“Do you usually just stare at CEO’s who you partner with or do you actually show some respect?” she asked coolly and their manager immediately apologized on their behalf whilst hissing at them to bow in respect. They did so clumsily and Seolhee bit back a smirk; maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. She sat down as her workers followed suit and she impatiently gestured for them to do the same.

“Madam, these are the outfits for our new line that you chose,” one of her workers said as she passed Seolhee a folder. Seolhee looked through it, humming whenever she saw a good design.

“Hmm, these are good, well done,” she said, smiling as she handed the folder back, causing the fashion team to sigh with relief and smile back at her. Seolhee turned to look at the boys, all who were looking at her expectantly. She raised her eyebrows and they quickly diverted their gazes to the table. “This is your 2nd year as a group, am I correct?” she asked and they looked confused as to why she asked a question to which she already knew the answer. Their manager nudged Chan, and she knew enough about them to know that he was their leader. She never had the heart to find out more about their group so other than their names, positions and debut she didn’t know anything about the group.

“Um, yes, it’s our second year,” Chan said, trying to sound smooth and stable. Seolhee nodded in acknowledgement and gave him a forced smile.

“Congratulations, I understand this is a hard field to get into. I actually used to know some people who wanted to become singers too.” she said coldly, but masked it with a smile. “Ok, getting back to business, I assume you’ve chosen the designs you prefer for yourselves?” the boys looked at each other before nervously shaking their heads. They saw the way she rolled her eyes and knew she wasn’t only angry due to this. There was a lot more to that eye roll. Their manager immediately stood up, bowing repeatedly as he apologized.

“I’m extremely sorry Madam, we will make sure not to waste your time again in the future,” he said and Seolhee signaled for him to sit down, smiling a little.

“Don’t worry, people can make mistakes,” she said with a steely gaze, “however please don’t let this happen again, some mistakes can never be forgiven.” She didn’t miss the look the boys gave each other and smirked again. She was enjoying this. With a tilt of her head, she signaled for one of her workers to start the presentation on the big screen. She stood up, casually taking her blazer off, and throwing it on the chair whilst rolling her sleeves of her dress shirt up. The boys couldn’t deny how well she fitted the title of CEO, with her white shirt, black blazer, black pants with matching black heels as well as her hair falling over her forearms in smooth waves. She was very petite, not to mention how her light makeup made her glow. None of them missed the flash of a long bandage on her arm, but she quickly turned her body so that it wasn’t visible. “Focus please,” she said as she directed them out of their trance. “Ok, we have been working on this clothing line for a while and your CEO seemed to think that your comeback concept would go well with the clothes. My colleague will pass you around folders with the samples so you can see how they feel, and the designs are in there too, so please decide what you would like. But before we start that, your CEO asked us to design the set for your music video, so my colleagues read your lyrics and were able to come up with images like these.” She gestured towards the screen where a series of pictures as well as drawings of different sets were displayed, and the boys couldn’t deny how good they looked. Seolhee led them through the presentation and before she knew it, it was already 12:00 pm.

“Please look at the clothing designs and let us know by the next meeting which will be…” she said, looking at a girl at the back of the room.

“This coming Friday, 9:00 am,” a steely voice said and the boys turned in surprise to look at Yoojin, who glared back at them.

“Thank you, Miss Kim,” Seolhee said, smiling. The fashion team bowed in respect and left the room, leaving only Seolhee, Yoojin, Stray Kids and their manger in the room. Their manager received a call so he left the room to take it. Seolhee’s smile disappeared as she looked at the boys. “It was a pleasure meeting you, I’ll take my leave now. Please feel free to eat your lunch in our canteen if you feel the need to do so.” She bowed respectfully and made her way towards the door, not before she felt a hand grab onto her. She looked at Jeongin, who looked like he was about to cry and she felt her heart clench for a second before she harshly pulled her arm from his grasp.

“Mr Yang,” she said, trying not to stutter, “I don’t think this behaviour is very appropriate.”

“Seolhee, please,” Jeongin pleaded and Seolhee simply sighed deeply as she looked at the others, all who had the same desperate look on their faces.

“Seolhee, we need to talk,” Seungmin said and Seolhee just scoffed, shocking all of them. She had always been so sweet, this new, cold person was not their friend they remembered.

“It’s Miss Park to you,” she said coldly, “and we have nothing to talk about.” At that moment Stray Kids’ manager came in with an apologetic look on his face.

“Boys, I’m sorry but I have to go home urgently, you’ll be able to get back yourselves right?” he asked and they nodded so he quickly left. Seolhee gestured towards the door, but the boys didn’t move. She sighed deeply and looked to Yoojin for help. Yoojin stepped forward and held onto Seolhee’s hand protectively.

“We have been kind enough to sign a business partnership with you,” Yoojin said, “but please do not get too comfortable, you can leave now. We will meet at the next meeting.” The two girls turned around but Jeongin grabbed onto Seolhee’s arm tightly, accidentally gripping her where her razor cut was still not fully healed. She had cut it in such a harsh way that one of her veins had been ruptured and therefore, it had never closed up properly. If any harsh force was put on the bandages, it would start to bleed. Seolhee winced loudly and Jeongin quickly let go of her. She cursed under her breath as she felt her sleeve slowly get wet, and Yoojin realised what had happened.

“Sit down,” she told her quickly and led her back to her seat, “I’ll bring the first aid kit, ok? I’ll be back soon, don’t worry,” and then whispered in her ear “ignore them.” Seolhee nodded as she took her blazer off again, wincing as she saw her white dress shirt’s sleeve covered with blood. She briefly looked up and saw the look of horror on the boys faces as they looked at the scene in front of them.

“Did… did I do that?” Jeongin whispered, and Seolhee sighed as she shook her head, and pulled her sleeve up. The boys seemed unsure of what to do so they decided to sit down again and opted to stare at her. She finally grew annoyed and spoke up.

“Stop staring at me!” she snapped, shocking all of them with the bitterness in her tone.

“You look well,” Hyunjin started but stopped as soon as she shot him a glare.

“Are you sure I don’t look too overweight or ugly?” she mocked and they all looked away in guilt.

“Seolhee, about that-” Chan started but was cut off as she waved her hand in dismissal.

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it,” she said coldly. At that moment, her phone rang and she saw Yoojin’s caller ID. “Yoojin? What happened? Oh you have got to be kidding me! How did the bandages run out? No, there is no way I’m staying in this room! No way… urgh fine, I hate you by the way.” She ended the call and harshly threw her phone on the carpeted floor, watching it bounce off but no damage was done.

“We’re really-” Felix started but was cut off.

“I said,” she started coldly, “I don’t want to hear it. Leave, the meeting is over.”

“No, we won’t leave until we sort this out,” Minho said firmly and Seolhee scoffed.

“What is there to sort out, huh?” she demanded. “The fact that you guys talked crap about me behind my back, when I thought you were by best friends? I showed myself to you in my most vulnerable positions and you took advantage of that and ruined every ounce of self-confidence I had. You lied, saying how I was perfect the way I was but as soon as you found someone prettier and more desirable than me it didn’t even take you a second to replace me like that. You didn’t tell me about your debut, I had to find out through our classmates on Instagram.” She took a deep breath, realising her outburst ruined her calm CEO image. She began with a softer yet firmer tone as she said, “There’s nothing to sort out, we had a friendship, we made good memories that were probably only good for me and probably burdensome for you all. But that’s in the past now, we are colleagues for a few months, and that’s it.”

“Seolhee, we really miss you,” Jisung said, “we miss your friendship. It was hell when you left, but we didn’t even know where we could find you. Please, let’s restart everything.”

“We don’t know what happened, we just became close with Dahee whilst you were at camp and we hung out every day but-”

“Shut up, I’m not here to find out about your friendship with that girl, ok?” Seolhee’s tone was beyond harsh and the boys felt upset that they were the reason behind it. “I genuinely don’t care, I stopped caring about you guys on that day. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

“We promise we didn’t mean anything we said, you were and are perfect!” Chan exclaimed, walking towards her. His heart broke as he saw the way she flinched and held onto her arm. And that was when he realised. “Are… are we the reason for that?” he asked, gesturing towards her arm. She didn’t reply and his suspicion was confirmed. “Seolhee I’m-”

“Don’t apologise,” she said with no expression, “I wasn’t good enough, you were just telling the truth.”

“No, we weren’t, we were stupid and reckless!” Seungmin said and the others nodded desperately. “We were just having a good time with Dahee before and she suddenly started saying those things and we just carried it on, but we didn’t mean any part of what we said.”

“We had no idea you were standing there either,” Felix said and Seolhee scoffed for the umpteenth time that day.

“So you’re saying if I wasn’t there you would have said those things and not been sorry?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “Wow, backstabber much. You’re all pathetic. Anyway, I’m not upset anymore. What hurt was how you constantly lied to me and made fun of me. You broke my trust, forever. You can say you didn’t mean it as much as you want, it doesn’t change the fact that when you found a girl better than me you immediately replaced me, in the most harsh way too. If you had just told me you didn’t want to be friends it wouldn’t have hurt this much. I even baked a cake for you, even though you all know how much I hate baking. I spent ages on the card too, all for nothing.”

“Dahee is in no way better than you,” Jeongin assured desperately, tears running down his cheeks. Seolhee wanted to hug him, but she had been hurt too much. “We’re not even friends anymore, she wanted to be friends with us just because we were in the debut line-up. She’s fake, she doesn’t care about how you do. Please, come back to us.” They saw different emotions pass over Seolhee’s face and they all expected her to accept, but their hearts dropped when she hesitantly shook her head.

“Did.” She muttered.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Minho asked, confused.

“You said Dahee doesn’t care about you the way I do,” she said, keeping her head down so that they couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes, “I did care about you. Past tense. Not anymore. Never again.”

“Seolhee, we regretted it immediately. You’re our best friend, we can’t live without you,” Hyunjin said, his voice cracking as he cried.

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU SAID THOSE THINGS?! HUH?! YOU ONLY REALISED WHEN I LEFT!” It felt good to finally scream and after seeing the guilty looks on their faces as well as their tears, she felt a bit more satisfied. They deserved to feel pain how she had. “You guys all had each other, I had no one after that. Only Yoojin was there to help me. You had each other, but you didn’t think about that once. Screw you, all of you.” At that moment, Yoojin came running in and paused after she saw everyone in tears. She glared at the boys before making her way to Seolhee, putting an arm around her protectively.

“I told you not to hurt her again,” she spat as she helped the crying girl up, “leave, now!” She pressed a cloth to Seolhee’s bleeding arm, trying to stop the blood flow.

“Yoojin, pass me my phone,” Seolhee suddenly said, taking Yoojin by surprise. She took her phone from Yoojin and quickly dialled a number, wincing as her hurt arm contacted Yoojin’s. “Hello? Yes, this is CEO Park speaking from Korea, how are you? I phoned to tell you, I’ll be coming to our base in the USA for a bit. We still have the Blackpink collaboration to think about, as well as Tiffany Young.” she eyed the boys as she said that and their hearts shattered; she was leaving again, because of them. “Yes, I will leave somebody else in charge of the Stray Kids collaboration, it’s not a problem. My flight should be after a few days, I’ll book one today. Ok, see you. Good. Thank you, take care.” She turned her phone off and looked at Yoojin. “We’re going to the USA, make sure to pack ok? We’ll be gone for a while.” She turned to look at the members, whose eyes were red and puffy as they tried to form words to stop her from leaving. “This collaboration will be given to one of my colleagues, we have no reason to talk anymore, I’ll be leaving after a few days. Take care and good luck.” She quickly left, not giving them a chance to say anything. Before she walked out the door, she turned around and said “This is our last meeting. And please do not try and revive our friendship, it died and left a long time ago.” Then the door closed and the boys were left, suffocated in their own wrong doings. They couldn’t believe they had messed up so badly. None of them had wanted to let go of Seolhee, they hadn’t meant a word of what they had said about her to Dahee, but they knew they would never be forgiven.

“I- I don’t want to lose her,” Jeongin wept as he cried into his hands.

“Im afraid we already have,” Seungmin said as they all stared at the door with broken hearts. Broken hearts that no one but that girl could cure, but she would never do that. She would make sure they suffered just as she had. The only difference was that they had each other to hold onto when she had only had herself. They had screwed up, and now they had to face the consequences.

A.N// Thank you so much for reading the story, please give me some feedback if you can! I am currently working on a Stray Kids Mafia series and it will be a Minho fanfiction with the other members as well as many other groups making small entrances. I hope you all support that story of mine too and I will release it soon, maybe after I release a few more short stories/drabbles like this one :)

[artificialqueens]

The Electra Complex, 1 (Crygi, Jankie, JaidaxNicky) - Scarlet Bloo

A/N: This is my first multi-chapter fic! This first chapter is mostly Gigi-centric, however that will change in future chapters. Big thanks to Hy-Jinkx for beta reading this, it wouldn’t flow as well without you.

Trigger Warning: There are some mentions of underage drinking in this chapter, which I know isn’t always seen to be a big issue, but I just wanted to be on the safe side.

Summary: Gigi Goode has been shipped away to Missouri, where she meets at group full of big personalities and a lot of emotions. This follows 7 girls as they navigate new love, old feelings and past demons.

Wherever Gigi Goode went, a series of admirers would follow; at least, that’s how it always used to be back in LA. You could’ve taken one look at her and come to the conclusion that she was living the dream. She was the cheer captain, her grades were consistently higher than the average student and she had the perfect all-American boyfriend. She was on track to becoming valedictorian and prom queen, had she only stayed on at Arcasio High. Her shoulder length blonde locks were always carefully styled and sculpted, and she wouldn’t be seen without her long, pastel acrylics and coordinating outfits. If you weren’t in Gigi’s small circle of friends, then you idolised them. And if you were? Well, then you’d be vying for Gigi’s position as top dog. Los Angeles Gigi was a trope from a 2000s movie personified, and while she wasn’t particularly happy with her life, the validation from her peers satisfied her. She was worried she wouldn’t be able to say the same about this new Springfield Gigi. She hated change, it just didn’t sit right with her. 

The last drastic change in her life occurred when her dad finally left the picture for good, around 8 months before she was shipped away to live with her cousin, Nicky. Gigi had a rocky relationship with her father from the moment she was old enough to recognise him, and to recognise patterns. He’d be in and out, showering Gigi and her mother with gifts on every return, but with each departure, he would rob Gigi of something possibly more important than Louboutins or countless bottles of Chanel No.5, the scent that had become her signature; he had robbed her of the ability to express her feelings. 

He taught her to keep emotions bottled up and to repress natural feelings, instead nursing wounds with piles of money. Contrary to her relationship with her father, Gigi and her mother were always extremely close, but Gigi knew she’d ruined that. Why else would her mom decide she’d be better suited living with her Aunt and cousin in Springfield of all places?

“Gigi, mon amour!” Nicky exclaimed, running up to her with open arms. The cousins exchanged kisses on either cheek. Nicky pulling Gigi into an embrace. She knew things had been rough, and despite both girls’ tough exterior, they’d always had a special bond. Gigi could remember countless Christmases and Thanksgivings when they were small and spent curled up in a blanket fort watching Barbie movies - Nicky loved The Nutcracker while Gigi first discovered her fixation for tailored jackets while watching Barbie and the Three Musketeers. Nicky’s small house was very sophisticated, decorated and furnished almost entirely in black and white, with interesting marble sculptures bordering the hallway. The two girls walked upstairs to the bedroom they’d be sharing whilst Gigi was in Missouri. 

“So, Gigi,” Nicky started with a sigh. Gigi looked down at her feet, cracking her knuckles to keep her focus off of Nicky and her next words.

“What did you actually… do?” Nicky paused, trying to correctly word what she would say next without sounding overly blunt. She was prone to being slightly too forward, partially due to a slight language barrier (French being her first language), but mostly because it was just the way her mind worked. A simple to-the-point question should logically provide her with a simple to-the-point answer - and Nicky liked it when things went like that. 

“If it’s okay,” the L.A native began in a slightly sour tone, completely ignoring Nicky’s words, “I’d like to have a rest before dinner.”

Nicky was aware of the obvious avoidance, but she decided to let her cousin be for the meantime; her mother hadn’t told her what had happened with Gigi to make her move in with them, but she knew it must’ve been pretty serious. Gigi and her mom, Nicky’s aunt, had a bond she almost envied - she couldn’t think of any reason why she’d willingly send her away. The girl pouted slightly, pondering the severity of the situation for a few moments more, before leaving Gigi to rest and going downstairs to help her mom with food preparation.

Gigi walked into the bar, legs out, flaunting her doll-like figure. She was dressed in a tiny baby pink tennis skirt, and matching crop top. Her mom had shouted at her for “dressing like a pinup,” as she had called it, but Gigi just shrugged it off. She didn’t care what her mom had to say at that moment. She knew she was probably being unfair, that her mom cared about her and only wanted the best, but she needed to blame someone else for everything that went down so she could live with herself. Gigi cocked her head to the side, trying to snatch the attention of the first man to catch her eye. A gruff looking man, probably in his early 50s, his American tan glaringly obvious in the dim lighting, smiled at the 16 year old, biting his bottom lip ever so slightly. She gave him bambi eyes, giggling slightly as she walked towards him. She was nervous, of course she was, but the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her system aided her greatly in feigning confidence.

“Hey, Candy bear.” he smirked at her, putting his hand on her cheek, “what can I do for you?”

Gigi wanted to shudder, but she managed to maintain her composure, and instead cooed, “I wanna be adored.”

The man slowly nodded, forcefully stealing a kiss from the girl, who submitted, kissing him back. As soon as he pulled away, she ran off, walking as confidently as she could out of the bar. She took a stick of bubblegum out of her bra, hoping it’s minty flavour would remove the lingering smell of liquor from her lips, as she rushed home before her mother awoke.

“Geege?” Nicky stood in front of her cousin, worry evident in her eyes. Gigi had zoned out. She snapped back into real life, “yeah Nics?” She looked towards the vanity where Nicky was seated, adjusting her hair in the large, illuminated mirror. Nicky’s room was barely big enough to fit both girls’ beds, so it was slightly cramped, but it was still very minimalist, very Nicky.

“I was just saying,” Nicky continued, “I should add you to the group chat of my friends and I - it’ll help you meet people before school starts.”

Gigi smiled, she was grateful that Nicky was being so welcoming, despite having to give up her room.

“Go on then, what harm could it do?”

TheNickyDoll added TheGigiGoode

JanJanJan: Ahhh hi !! I’m Jan, nice to meet you!!!!

JaidaEHall: Jan, chile, calm down you’re gonna scare her off

JackieCox: Hi, I’m Jackie.

                    And yeah, Janny, Jaida’s right, calm down baby.

TheGigiGoode: Hey, everyone <3

                           Thanks for letting me join, you guys are the first people I’ve                                      spoken to here other than my family!

HeidiNCloset: Heyy

JanJanJan: I’m sorry y’all I’m just excited !!

Gigi was relieved to find that she hit it off quite well with Nicky’s friends, whose personalities seemed to be so big she could get a good sense of what they were each like through the screen. Jan was very enthusiastic, Gigi noted immediately. She and Heidi both seemed super sweet, but in different ways - Heidi definitely seemed to crack a lot more jokes. Jan bombarded Gigi with questions about L.A, before Jackie pretty much ordered her to get some sleep. Jackie and Jaida were definitely the two most level headed of the group, Jaida seeming to lead group discussions and Jackie undertaking a more protective role. However, when looking through the list of group members, she noticed one more account that hadn’t interacted in the group chat yet. She was about to ask Nicky who Crystal Methyd was, but when she turned to Nicky’s side of the bedroom she found her fast asleep, in a silk set of pyjamas with her hair in rollers. Gigi knew the only way to get answers now was to stalk her instagram. Luckily, she wasn’t private, so Gigi spent the next 30 minutes looking through her feed. Crystal had curly red hair, and dressed very…. eccentrically, Gigi thought. As if by magic, Gigi then got a notification that made her almost jump out of her skin.

CrystalMethyd: Hey everyone! What have I missed? You know how out of the                                 loop I get when I’m painting.

Gigi waited for a couple of seconds before forming a reply, praying one of the other girls would initiate a conversation she could then jump in on. She wanted to talk to this girl, but she didn’t want to do it alone, not when she knew close to nothing about her. Gigi sighed, she’d have to just go for it and respond to the message. That’s how you get anywhere in life, she knew that. 

TheGigiGoode: Hey, idk if Nicky told you, but I’m her cousin. She added me to                               the chat so I could meet you all before school starts up.

CrystalMethyd: She did!

                           I’m Crystal, but you know that from my account of course.

Gigi and Crystal spoke for a while longer, their conversations jumping from favourite food (Gigi liked pasta, Crystal liked pizza, and they were both still obsessed with fruit snacks), to movies Crystal cried over (Marlie and Me. Toy Story, The Notebook, and the list goes on) and ones they both hated. At around 3am, Crystal made the decision to move the conversation to private dms, to avoid spamming her friends as they slept. This new, more intimate setting, and the early hour, seemed to pull feelings on feelings out of the two girls as they began to open up more with each other. If an outsider was to read the messages, they’d never have guessed Gigi hadn’t been aware of Crystal’s existence until just hours earlier. Gigi felt a strange yearning to open up to this girl, who seemed to be so clear about how she felt, but a part of her mind wouldn’t let her even type the words out. Guilt passed through her gut as Crystal explained her worries about her future, how she wanted to be an artist, but her parents weren’t sure whether she’d be able to make a long lasting, stable career out of it. Gigi wished she had half the vulnerability the girl possessed. It sure would make this whole making friends thing a whole lot easier. The light peaking through Nicky’s pitch black blinds startled Gigi, so she said her goodnights to Crystal, who wished her “Sweet dreams, Miss Goode.”

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

FIRST DAY ON THE JOB!!!

SO! I managed to get there just in time without ending up looking like a complete mess. Success number one!

I rushed most of the way on my skateboard, but then stopped about a block away so I could fix myself up again in the reflection of some other store’s window and hopefully make it look like I hadn’t been rushing.

Got in EXACTLY at 2 so perfect timing! And I was mostly not panting haha. Ah well. Lan Wangji was waiting for me to show up. I started to hug him by way of greeting, something I’ve grown quite fond of doing lately, but then realized

well shit.

He’s my boss isn’t he? Is that really appropriate? I mean it’s not like it’s some big chain or anything. Just a little cafe. And he’s the owner. But I mean is it okay? And while I was trying to figure out the more implications of wanting to date my boss he just took all that pressure away and hugged me himself!

That answers that ~♥ Hugs are a go! ♥♥♥

Uhhhh this is getting long and I’m too lazy to split it into two posts so this time we get a readmore. haha.

SO then he took me in back to show me the super fancy super secret back stage areas that are for (gasp) employees only!!! Of which I am!! So it’s allowed!!

Okay so it’s not that secret or overly fancy (though it’s super nice and clean though) but like he took me to this room in the back first so I could put away my stuff and there are these lockers there.

Okay

so they’re huge! I can fit my skateboard and probably  a large duffel bag in there and still have room for snacks!! (Something to keep in mind later if I need to rush over here with a change of clothes I can. <3)

But that’s not just it like

they’re white, yeah? (Lan Zhan likes white. I don’t know why. Impossible to keep clean. But to each their own and it’s not like he doesn’t make it WORK.) But like they’re not just white

they’re white with  A PURPOSE!! He showed me this stash of markers for decorating the lockers!

He gave me a blank canvas!!!!!! THAT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH AT ANY TIME!!!!!

(I saw Mianmian’s and QIn Su’s lockers were being used to write love letters to each other Can they get any CUTER??? I better get an invite to their wedding.... did.. did they tell me the date? I’ll have to ask Lan Zhan.

Oh speaking of, he’s got his locker just covered with pictures of the bunnies! It’s really super cute and probably pretty predictable for Lan Zhan but if there’s no space left over where am I supposed to leave my love notes???)

So clearly I’m going to come up with lots of fun stuff for my locker!!

OH also! I’m apparently only the 4th EVER employee?????????????????????

Or at least.... 4th employee currently working there. I guess there may have been people who left before I got here. didn’t ask.

But there are only 4 people who work here including the owner???? And this place is pretty popular! (as it should be.)

Wait I’m jumping ahead of myself..... where was I?

Hug. Lockers. bunnies..... Oh yes! Aprons!

Did you know that the employees get custom aprons? I mean like the style and color? (They’re all bunny themed of course. They’re embroidered with bun buns at the bottom) But like if you prefer one with big pockets, or like  a half apron, or like lace edges or something that’s what you get! In black or white!

Lan Zhan lent me a black one for now so that I wouldn’t ruin my clothes since I don’t have a uniform yet which is a really sweet thought even though my clothes are already so old anyway that it really wouldn’t matter.  (I put in my apron preference while submitting my clothing sizes).

So then it was tour time! I got to meet Qin Su who, SMALL FUCKING WORLD??, turns out to be Shijie’s peacock of a husband’s little half-sister?????

She’s really sweet though even if she’s related to the Jins. (seems she wasn’t raised by the jins directly. There’s clearly some family drama there but I didn’t pry. Her business)

But anway we were chatting a bit because she knows Shijie (!!!) and then MianMian swoooops in like a shining knight to tell me to keep my grubby mits off her fiance! (Oh that’s right. That’s how I knew they were getting married. No they have not told me when.)

So anyway. We went on tour, and I was told the rules and regulations. Most of the focus (understandably and correctly) was on the care of the bunnies. I have a little manual to go over and there are actually a lot of regulations to keep the bunnies safe and happy and healthy.  I’m def. gonna study that manual and I think I’m gonna research more on my own if I can. I really don’t want to mess it up. Maybe i’ll be able to get the bunnies to like me? OH speaking of the bunnies! I got to pet them!!! Lan Zhan introduced me to them all and he was holding them so they were all comfortable and secure and so they actually let me pet them!!!

They’re so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooft!!!!!

We actually spent a lot of time on the bunnies now that I’m thinking back. I didn’t notice at the time because I was having such a good time!!! <3 <3 (Seriously. The dream job I never knew I wanted)

The rest of it was pretty standard. How to use the machines and the register. Nothign too complicated. Honestly a bit more up-to-date than my last serving job. And then I got some practice in with the customers. I was actually really nervous I’d get something wrong, but Lan Zhan was there with me the whole time so everything turned out fine.

(I couldn’t stop looking at him whenever we had a small moment. Part of it was because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right but honestly it was more for the sake of seeing him so close to me. I’ll never stop feeling blessed to be this close to him.)

Then it was break time (Or in other words time to follow Lan Zhan around everywhere with a wiggly egg. Will the wiggly egg make you love me Lan Zhan? Will it be OUR wiggly egg? The wiggy egg that makes the jiggly sound of our love????)

Rest of the day kinda followed the course until we closed up. But then after we closed up shop for the evening, he invited me upstaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirs. To hang out and have dinnnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!! So Naturally I accepted immediately without a second thought!

(Well technically he invited me to spend the night (???!!!!!!) but I had to decline. Partially because I wasn’t sure this poor little heart of mine could take another night of so little sleep (because there ain’t no way I can sleep knowing he’s so close and NOT holding me???) but also because I needed to beat the shit out of Jiang Cheng. Which I did. )

Nothing embarrassing happened this time! We had a normal dinner. (Just leftovers but they were delicious anyway)

We just talked a lot. I don’t really remember what we talked about. How my first day went? I don’t remember. But it was warm and soft and safe. I really didn’t want to leave.

But I did.

And then when I got home after teaching my dear Shidi a lesson, I took some time to study and dick around here with you guys.

OH YEAH AND SANGSANG BETRAYED ME. IDK IF YOU’RE READING THIS NIE HUAISANG BUT UR STILL A JERK.

Honestly not much to say about day two because I was pretty tired for most of it. I had to learn how to do the morning shift so I had to wake up so eearrrlllyyyy.

I must have done okay though because I wasn’t told not to come back haha. I mean it’s admittedly nice to get off so early but I’m so tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

Somehow this seems less coherent than usual... Ugh. I think I’m gonna take a nap. Might have more to add later but for now I need the zeeeees.

[foolishlovebugbaby]

stupid cupid | part 1

part 2 | part 3 | part 4

college!au / bang chan x fem!reader

Summary: bang chan is always complaining about being single since birth, so best friend reader decides to play cupid and sets him up. big mistake.

Genre: angst-y?? with some fluff later on idk you decide (a Lot of slow burn so idk how many parts this multi-shot will have lmao)

Warnings: none

college life, to summarise, was hectic.

multiple deadlines for multiple classes; pages upon pages of assignments and essays that needed to be done; hour long lectures almost every single day, and on top of all of that, a part-time job as a book clerk at the library that needed to be held down in order to help pay for your apartment rent.

needless to say, your days were filled with so much to do encapsulated in such little time.

thankfully, you were not alone.

you had your best friend Chan to hold you down through it all even though he had just as much struggles as you did

you had met him right before you started college on a website while looking for housemates in order to afford rent (you were drowning in student loans and so was he, so to you it was a match made in heaven)

to say your parents were reluctant to let you live with a male was an understatement- but after meeting him and realizing that he was a total sweetheart that couldn’t hurt a fly and that there was no other option, off you went. 

you two were very similar in many ways; for one, you both shared a deep love for movies and films and star wars, which is why you both made a childish pinky promise to always have movie nights on wednesday evenings and the tradition hasn’t been broken since

another thing you also shared in common was the fact that you both were completely, utterly, stupidly and perfectly single.

he, since birth, and you since the 11th grade when your first love became your fist ( and, thus, worst) heartbreak

bonding over these things and the fact that you both were endlessly passionate about reaching your goals allowed you both to develop a deep and meaningful friendship, enough to make you both realise that you were each others’ best friends

whenever he’d stay up and pull all-nighters to get his work done, you were always next to him on the dining table doing the same even though you didn’t need to, but wanted to keep him company just so that he didn’t feel alone.

and whenever you had mental breakdowns during exam season, he was always there with ice cream and flash cards in hand to help you get through it all

needless to say, even though the first two years of college were anything but a breeze, chan always made you feel okay.

so now there you two were, third year college students on your run-down, second-hand couch, watching re-runs of the big bang theory and catching up on how the week was so far.

“it makes me feel so lonely watching minho and his girl act all cutesy in class, i feel like the ultimate third wheel.” chan whined next to you on the couch and you rolled your eyes

“you’ve been complaining for so long about how you feel oh so lonely, why don’t you just find someone then? there are enough people all over campus pining over you anyway.” you said, scoffing at the brunette.

chan had been complaining for so long about how he felt like a deprived lovebug and how he was an utter virgin in everything that had to do with love, and you were getting annoyed with how often he complained

“but that’s the thing- i don’t even know where to start! how do you even approach people? how do you even know whether that person is a nice person? god, they should teach us ‘finding a life partner 101′ instead of the laws of thermodynamics, it’d be way more useful.” he rambled on

“you’re so whiny channie. you know what? let me help you. i can set you up on a blind date with someone who i think you’d like so that the filtering process would be shortened- how does that sound?” you turned to look at him, propping your elbow onto the  couch headboard and rested your head into the palm of your hand

suggesting this was your first mistake.

he looked at you quizzically, his thick eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinty

“you would do that? for me?”

“if it gets you to shut up then of course.” you grinned sarcastically and giggled, with him rolling his eyes at you

“oh haha,” he said and stuck his tongue out “forget i even said anything.” he huffed and got all pouty and exaggerated by crossing his arms and looking away from you. you could only laugh at his feigned hurtful expressions

“i’m kidding! you know i’m just joking- oh stop pouting you big baby.” you said, grabbing ahold of his bicep to get his to turn and look at you

his very muscular bicep

“i’m being serious okay! i want to set you up with someone so that my poor channie stops feeling so lonely all the time.” you mimicked his pout and patted his head

“alright, fine. i’m trusting you with this. if i get dumped i’m blaming you.”

“deal.”

you didn’t have to blink twice to agree to this whole ordeal or even to suggest it; you and chan were just friends- best friends at that, and everything between you both was completely platonic

or so you thought.

so there you were, in your literature lecture, spying on the one girl you thought would be the perfect fit to chan’s empty heart.

so far you knew that her name was Hana, that she was a screenplay major (and so, obviously, knew a good lot about film), that she was recently single and ready to mingle (according to people around campus), and that she looked absolutely gorgeous

jackpot

being your outgoing self, you immediately approached her all wide-eyed and hopeful.

“hi, you don’t know me but would you mind going on a blind date with my friend?” you quipped innocently

she looked completely shocked and dumbfounded

afterall, the only thing she knew about you was that you shared literature class together- and that’s about it.

reader you complete weirdo

“uhm, may i ask what your name is?” she said, looking bashful and flustered

“i’m y/n. and don’t worry, chan isn’t a complete weirdo- shit did i just say his name?? fuck i just took out the point of a blind date.” you mentally slapped yourself for being this much of a dumbass, but to your surprise, hana’s eyes flickered with interest.

“do you mean bang chan? as in cute-boy-in-the-physics-department bang chan?” 

“uh yeah i think so? cute boy? since when was channie known as cute bo-”

“i’m definitely in! i’m sorry for sounding so overly-enthusiastic, it’s just chan’s been quite popular these days, and i’m just a little excited.” she said bashfully

“don’t be sorry! just give me your number and i’ll text you the details soon!”

to say that chan was excited when you told him would be an understatement

“you’re going to love her, channie! god, i’m such a good wingman, you should pay me for setting you up this good.” you said, smirking, feeling proud of yourself

“don’t get too cocky just yet. but oh my god, i can’t wait to meet her!” he said grinning, completely over the moon, and your smile matched his.

wednesday evening rolled around, the day of their blind date, and you couldn’t have been more excited for him. you had arranged for them to meet at a cute little trendy café downtown- perfect for a first date- where they could just talk and get to know each other.

you honestly felt like a proud mom sending off her son to get married, and the happiness you felt for him was genuine- no if’s, and’s or but’s.

“do i look okay?” chan said, coming out of his room dressed in black jeans with rips in the knees, a black muscle tank top and his white denim jacket. he wore an expression of nervousness- a very cute one, at that- and you couldn’t help but let your gaze linger a little longer than normal with a little more affection than you’d like to admit.

“you- you look great channie!” you said, stuttering at first as you were taken aback by just how attractive he looked

you always knew your best friend was handsome- but something about the way his ruffled hair settled on his head and how his lips were flushed a deep red from biting them out of nervousness made your heart skip a beat

but of course, you ignored it.

this was the second mistake.

he was attractive, and that was that.

“you really think so?” he smiled bashfully, ears going red when he saw how your eyes gleamed after seeing him. it made him feel fluttery and giddy to have you compliment him.

“you look really handsome, channie- i mean it.” you said again, a soft smile dancing on your lips and he looked down and scratched the nape of his neck, suddenly feeling embarrassed by all the attention you were giving him.

“you should wear that really nice perfume you own!” you said giddily

“already am! i know it’s your favorite scent- i just hope she likes it too.” 

after a few more minutes of chan’s nervous questions and you telling him to calm down, he was off.

he didn’t know what Hana looked like- all you told him was that she would be sitting alone next to the window in a pink top.

so when he laid eyes on the girl you described, he had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

she was a sight to see, that was for sure.

before he entered, he sent a text to you 

to stardust: u didnt tell me you were setting me up w a fukn model

from stardust: oopsies (✿◠‿◠)

he chuckled and rolled his eyes before entering the café and making his way over to her.

he introduced himself, as did she, and the night played on.

meanwhile, on the other side of town, there you were on the dining table, finishing up your last analytical essay on whatever the heck you had to analyse for your creative writing class

it was ten pm now, and you groggily made your way onto your sofa with your fluffy throw blanket wrapped around you like a burrito 

you flicked through the channels on the tv, being unable to find anything remotely interesting, until you realised something

it was wednesday.

movie night day.

and you were alone.

you felt a pang in your chest at that realisation. after 2 years of almost always spending wednesday nights with chan by your side, you suddenly grew increasingly aware of how lonely you were. by now you two would be cramped on the couch, debating over whether or not to put on a new movie or series or to re-watch some of your all-time favorites.

but there you were, staring into space, alone and cold on your couch, chan no longer beside you.

you immediately buried those thoughts away 

‘he’s happy and having a good time, and i’m so happy for him- he’s my best friend.’ you thought to yourself

your phone dinged, interrupting your train of thought

from solo: this is going too well, im buying u sushi next week to thank u

you let out a breathy laugh at that

to solo: hehe glad to hear that

from solo: gosh i love you

your breath hitched in your throat when you read that message. it made your heart suddenly pick up speed and made your tummy feel weird. he’s never said that before, you thought to yourself, your mind malfunctioning. you blinked yourself back into reality.

to solo: i know.

with that, you shut off your phone. 

you had to remind yourself why he said it. 

he was being thankful, nothing more. that’s all there is to it. 

i’m his best friend, nothing more. that’s all there is to it.

you had to shake of the stinging feeling in your chest and chose to distract yourself by watching the nature documentary that was playing on tv, even though it bored you out of your mind and caused you to just stare at it blankly for the rest of the night. 

soon enough you fell asleep on the couch, alone and cold, with the tv playing a show you didn’t like on a channel you didn’t watch with a dull pain brewing in the middle of your chest that you chose to actively ignore. 

and that was the third mistake. 

i’ll just end it here for part one. please reblog and like so i know you want this multi-shot to continue! also all my star wars babies- peep those references heheheheheheh 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #224

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

What’s a hobby you would like to try out? Digital art. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? A mutual effort to kiss. Like, you both purse your lips. What time is too early for you? 5:00 A.M. is generally when if I wake up, I'll go back to bed. Have you ever won a raffle? If so, what’ve you won? Yes, actually. I very faintly remember winning something up in New York at a bowling alley as a family when I was little. Idr what we won. What’s the most useless thing you have vast knowledge on? Probably Silent Hill lol, if we're talking about truly useless. Video game lore and such knowledge isn't exactly truly useful. Is there anything you feel you’re better at than anybody else? No. What’s the biggest insect you’ve ever seen? Uhhh probably some kind of beetle. How about the biggest spider? A bird-eating tarantula when I was at the reptile convention with Sara. When’s the last time you played Pac-Man? WOW, it's been years. I've only ever played it on my childhood GameBoy. What is your favorite winter Olympic sport? I guess ice skating is pretty, but I don't care about sports. You Internet dies; what do you do for the next little while? Ummm this is when I feel like a caveman lmao. Probably... play Nintendogs on my DS. I hate hate hate how reliant I am on technology. What was the last test you completely failed? Recently on my first math test of this year. I bombed it, but at least I wasn't alone I guess. Oh look, it’s snowing outside! Do you get excited? Hell yes. Is your room covered in posters, or pretty bare? My walls are coooooverrrrrred. What sport do you completely fail at? I went to a volleyball summer camp thing in school years upon years ago and that shit HURT. I don't think I stayed the whole duration of it. Do you ever question life and existence? Not really anymore. Why does it really even matter why we're here, just make the most of it. Admit it, we all love brand named clothes. What’s your favorite? I genuinely don't care about brand names. Would you ever risk having a house party when you’re parents are gone? Hell no. What are you plans for the future? Achieve a stable career, learn to drive and have my own car, buy my own home, move in with the person I love, have lots of pets, and most importantly just be happy and content. Is your cell phone on vibrate? It pretty much always is. Is your dishwasher full? We don't have a dishwasher; we have to wash by hand. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I don't know many of their songs, but they're fine, from what I've heard. Have you ever played tennis? No, I don't have that coordination. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? I think so. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Who is the last baby you held? Colleen's son forever ago because she needed me to. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? Wow no. Do you have any scars from an animal? Possibly, idk. I have a lot of small scars. How have you been sleeping? Awful. I've pretty damn consistently been having screaming fits (I mean, actually shrieking) at night where I attack my bed from nightmares. I actually recently hurt my hand from it. I want to go to the doctor about it, it's really worrying me. Are you adopted? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I'm not really a crafts person, no. Do you collect anything valuable? No. How many house phones do you have? Zero. We only use cellphones. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't believe so, thankfully. What was the last thing you killed? I at least tried crushing a flea. Mom used some kind of spray on the dogs outside, but it resulted in them just hopping off them inside too, apparently. Whose number did you last get? I have no idea. Have you ever thought about stepping in front of a car? I mean, I've had like those passive thoughts; you know, like when you're up somewhere high and your brain tells you to jump. But never seriously. Have you ever lied down in the middle of the street? Don't give me The Notebook flashbacks pls sobs. Anyway, ha ha, yes, only because my sister wanted a picture of us huddled together when Misty was here? Everyone loves that picture though so thanks for taking it Jason, lol. Do you listen to explicit music? Some songs, sure. Have you ever used someone for money? I could never live with myself doing that. Do you own colored eyeliner? No, just black. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Some time last year when we got two sick rats in a row. Have you ever tried peanut butter and bananas together? Yeah, pb&banana sandwiches are pretty good. Do you have any mental disorders? *opens notes* Chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, severe generalized anxiety, bipolarity II, AvPD, PTSD, and OCD W O W ! ! ! ! ! Have you ever had to live with a friend? Yes, when we got evicted in '17. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Hell no. Why does the little kid have leukemia? So God can scare you into faith to save the child he cursed with the disease? Why did my sick kitten get run over when I was a kid? Why was my sister almost raped as a teen? I could go on forever about this. Life gets a lot more bearable once you just accept the shit isn't fair and has no rhyme or reason. You just have to live with it. Do you believe in sex before marriage? I believe in sex once you feel truly in love with someone. Just be safe with it. Do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart? Two, off the top of my head. Have you ever known anyone who died at war? I don''t think so. Who was the last person to hug you? My niece of nephew, I'm sure. Who is your favorite female celebrity? ... Wowie, why are like, all the ones I'm seriously invested in males. I suppose maybe Eugenia Cooney? Her recovery and development is like so fucking beautiful and I am 99.99% there isn't a sweeter person in existence. Were you nervous on your first day of high school? A little bit, of course. Three words to describe your best friend: Loyal, honest, and supportive as all fuck. Are you literally afraid of anyone? Yes. Who did you last take a picture with? My dad, I think? Literally forever ago? Who was the last person to comfort you? Sara. Who was the last person to unsurprisingly disappoint you? Mom. If she says "yeah we'll do (whatever)," don't hold her to it, ever. If you answer a question wrong in class, does it embarrass you? YEAH. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance" is the shit. I also really like the "Love Game" remix with Marilyn Manson in it. Would you date someone who smokes? No sir. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? Why or why not? That's an even bigger "no sir." Would you date the same sex? Why or why not? Well yeah, 'cuz I'm bisexual. What’s your biggest turn off? Physically, bad hygiene. Personality-wise, being full of yourself and overly-confident is such a turn-off. What’s your biggest turn on, physically? Do. Not. Touch. My. Boobs. Where would you go on a first date? Me personally, I think a safe bet is the movies. The first date is always so nerve-wracking, so a movie takes away some of the pressure to talk as much as you can. HOWEVER, I think it's very important to have bonding/getting to know each other time, so I think having a meal together is a nice addition. Most hurtful relationship? The ending of mine and Jason's. Ever regretted breaking up with someone? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Do you miss any of your exes? I mean, I miss Jason as a friend, though I know it's probably for the better we no longer associate with one another. What’s your biggest turn on, NOT physically? Romance. Act respectful, like you truly love and want me as a partner. Obviously see me as your equal. What is the sweetest thing someone you dated did for you? Probably Sara actually listening and not getting jealous or annoyed by me talking about my occasional bad PTSD days. Last time you got flowers? A random day Tyler came over when we were dating in early '17. Are you ready to get into a serious relationship right now? I'm in one now. Do you like cuddling? If I romantically like you, I am a total cuddlebug. Do you regret dating anyone? Why or why not? Idk. I wanna say Tyler, but I mean, it tested my ability to say "fuck no I'm not dealing with (whatever trait)." Most important lesson you have learned from dating? DO!!! NOT!!!!! EVER!!!!!! RELY!!!!! ON A PERSON!!!!!! TO BE!!!!!!!! YOUR SOLE SOURCE!!!!!!!!!!! OF HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!! What does it take to get you on a date? I mean, ask? Be clear that you're interested in me? Are you happier single or in a relationship? In a relationship. I just feel like there's some sort of validation I'm an interesting and/or fun person. Favorite ex? This is a... weird question. I mean, Girt is the only one I remain in contact with and adore as a friend, but I was VERY easily most in love with Jason. How important are looks? I really can't say I care much. I mean yes, it's harder to be sexually attracted to someone you don't find visually pleasing, but I've dated people I wasn't physically attracted to before, and looks didn't hold me back from dating them or being romantically attracted to them. How do you know when you are in love? Oh, you know. I can't really explain it, you just like... know. If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them? NO SIR-EE. Have you ever been ashamed of anyone you were dating? No. Favorite memories with an ex? I don't want to ponder this for my PTSD's sake. I have a novel of "favorite" memories with him. Would you name a child of yours after you? Ugh, no. I honestly hate that. Like... it seems so egotistical, and why would you WANT to?? Like... that's your name. I just don't get it, at all. Obsessions? Markiplier is ACTUALLY the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, & I love lots of other YouTubers (no others really to the point of obsession tho, I'd say.... well, maybe Game Grumps), m e e r k a t s, the Silent Hill series, uhhhhh maybe that's it as far as real obsession goes. Perhaps Shadow of the Colossus with how many times I've played and beaten the thing. Addictions? I'm perfectly aware and regretful of just how reliant I am on technology. I turn into a caveman without it. I'm proooobably addicted to soda, fuckin' rip. Do you speak another language? Not anymore. I want to take German again, though, to refresh my memory and further improve, but I only really plan to if I have serious plans to visit Germany. Do you have a webpage? I have a Wix for my photography that I spent eons on jc. Do you live in the moment? Honestly, I don't feel so, most of the time at least. I'm always worrying and thinking about the future. Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? I'm, for the most part, extremely tolerant, though I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that I'm becoming less so with time. Like ex., now, I seriously don't think I could be your friend if you don't support gay rights. There's just some shit I see as so ridiculous that I don't want to associate with you and give you my tolerance of your bullshit, hateful opinion. Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? I'm 23 years old. What are your #1 priorities in life? My happiness, my health, Sara, my pets. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? Yeah. Certain types or urges in different situations, my religious anger and spite, my absolutely malice for my sister's horrid dog that for whatever fucking reason lives with us and not her... that kinda stuff. I think mostly just things relating to anger. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Hey anxiety, could you like?????????????? fuck off???????????????? Do you think you are emotionally strong? I will fucking NOT associate with your ass if you think I'm not after all the shit I've been through. Period. Not up for debate. What is your first name? *intro to B. Spears' "Gimme More" plays in the distance* Who was the first person you spoke to in person today? My mother. What was your first pet? The family cat Chance. If you mean like, actually mine, either Squeak the guinea pig or Shadow the Chinese water dragon. What was your first job? A GameStop sales clerk. How long was your first relationship? In my puppy-dog love middle school experience, maybe like, a couple of months? My first real one was three and half years. Who was the first person to break your heart? If you mean in any form, not just romantically, my dad when he abandoned us. Romantically, Jason. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentine’s day? Other than my loved ones, Aaron, my 7th grade bf. First band you obsessed about? Truly obsessed with, Ozzy Osbourne. I loved Green Day as a kid, but it wasn't an obsession. First place you lived? Along the coastal plain/Piedmont border in North Carolina. First alcoholic beverage? Mike's Hard Lemonade. gud shit. First place someone took you on a date? I think Aaron and I went on a group date to the rollerskating rink first? That was a great day. Can you do a backflip? I'd break my neck, homie. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm binging Mother Mother. "Letter" is on right now. What do you do when you can’t fall asleep? Do exactly what you shouldn't do and get on the laptop, lmao. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? There's something I told Jason in my first letter to him after the breakup that I honestly... don't know if it was a lie or not. I was so goddamn hurt that I'd say almost anything. I don't want to talk about it, though. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? She's my girlfriend of two years, I'd hope she woulda by now, lmao. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? Nope. Have you ever found pictures on your camera you don’t remember taking? I don't think so. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? I don't believe so. WAIT. Tyler drew a picture of me and him, I think? At least she had my common outfit. Have you ever dated a redhead? No. Where is your favorite place to go when you want to be alone? I'm always in my room alone, so like- Do you have any nieces or nephews? Boy, a lot. Do any of your friends have children? Yes. Is there anything you’re craving right now? I've honestly been a horny POS for forever now. What caused the last argument you had? My sister's mother-in-law being a homophobic piece of garbage. What was the last movie you watched? Good question. It's been a long time. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. Where was your last paycheck from? The day I worked at the dollar store for two hours and got $9 lmao. What was the last school you received a degree from? My high school. What did the last key you used go to? My house. Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive? She's gorgeous. Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? I have snake eyes now, which I got done twice, because the first time, it was pierced too far back, so the swelling of my tongue literally started to swallow/heal over the bar. :') But it was worth it; it was by far the most painful piercing (the second time actually made me nauseous), but it's my favorite. What’s the background on your phone? My lock screen is fanart of Darkiplier & the simple picture impregnated me; my home screen is Sara and me. Are you a parent? To pets. :') How are things between you and the person you are with? Great. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Idk, my mom, probably. If you have a birthmark, where and what color? Yeah, exterior of my right arm. It's a slightly darker brown that the rest of my skin. When was the last time you felt nauseous? A while back. List three things that make you feel nauseous. THE SOUND OF VOMITING, even preparing to attempt to pick up pet shit, and uhhhh, how am I blanking. I guess certain smells? Idk. Do your parents support your dreams? Yes. List three of your favorite types of YouTube videos to watch. Comedy ones between friends, let's plays, and Mark's character ones are a unique and Supreme brand of video. What is your favorite park? Idk, I haven't been to many. Do you get fireflies where you live? Yep. What is the name of your YouTube channel, if you have one? 0zzkat (it's a zero). Do you wear the same shirt and shorts multiple times before washing? Only pj pants. If I actually go out in clothes, no, I change. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topiiiiiic. Has a medication ever given you nightmares? Yes. I can't remember which it was, though. And I suppose one I'm on now might be causing them? Would you rather be surrounded by maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? MAPLE!!!!!!!!!! How many different states have you lived in? Only one. What’s your favorite thing to do on a hot day? Swiiiiiim. Do you know anyone who’s allergic to bees? I don't think so. What does your favorite bikini look like? Sweetheart, nobody wants to see me in a bikini. What is your favorite thing to do at the beach? Swim. Do you think you are attractive? Nope. Who have you hugged in the past month? Mom, probably, and I actually think that's it. Are you good at recovering from injuries? Uh, I mean, I guess? Do you have more piercings or tattoos? They're tied at six, actually. Last bad news you heard? Some guy recently tried to break into Nicole's friend's house while she was home alone, but she scared him off with a shotgun through the window. I'm still not fucking over it. Last good news you heard? I got a 94 on the final test for the book we read in Writing. What was the last thing you posted on a Instagram? I only ever post photography on both of mine, so some picture. Do you prefer to live alone or live in a family? I wouldn't know; I never lived alone. What states have you visited, that you remember? New York, Florida, Virginia, South Carolina, and I recall Ohio VERY faintly. Oh yeah, and Tennessee, but that's a vague memory as well. OH, HOW DID I FORGET ILLINOIS?????????? What countries have you visited? I've never left North America. What are five careers you’ve considered? In chronological order, some that I've considered are paleontologist, vet, movie designer, game designer, and photographer. What do you wish your hair looked like? I really wanna dye it silver rn. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I still care for him, yeah. I guess I'm in a way still protective of him, too, as I saw very clearly when a tornado landed in his general area this summer, and I felt like a total mama bear that desperately wanted to know if he was okay. I know in my gut I'd probably knock a bitch out if he was seriously hurt. I know, the absolute apex of irony. Who was the last person you called? Mom. Do you take pictures on your phone? Very rarely. My camera SUCKS. How old were you the first time you encountered God? Oh, brother. Have you ever hallucinated? In middle school when I was coming off of a medication, I saw moving shadows. Do you struggle to get by? I'm not the one who cares for myself financially; I still live "under" my mother, but oh yeah, we struggle alright. Who is the best looking male celebrity, in your opinion? ggggggggggggggggggIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL looking at him forces me into ovulation lmao y'all done know who it is. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s colorblind? Jason's brother was colorblind to I believe red and green. I know it was two colors. What is your favorite time of day to run? Run???????????????? If I run, bitch you best be running too. What’s a show you remember the very first episode of? Meerkat Manor and That '70s Show are quite clear. I'm sure there are others, I just don't care to think too long about this. Do you hate sleeping in? If I need it, not really, but generally, I don't want to sleep past ~10:30. How late do you consider too late to sleep in? 12:00. What is something of yours that is falling apart? Ha ha ha, the very first thing that came to mind was our poor shed door. Hurricanes have legit torn most of the white paint off of it to where it hangs in strips. It looks so bad; I've told my mom so many times to just tear them off, but she thinks it would look worse that way. When was the last time you saw your crush? February. Sobs loudly. When was your due date, and when were you born? I was due January 20-something, but was born on February 5th, but only because my mom was induced. Do you want to have kids? NO. What website do you usually check first when you get online? KM, just to ensure it's not on fire.

[checkyesifulikeme]

on my birth chart & w. sidereal 

LONG ASS TANGENT THAT NO ONE BUT ME COULD EVER POSSIBLY CARE ABT BELOW LOL. i just needed to put it into words somewhere 4 myself.

when i first discovered the sidereal zodiac something clicked, like, automatic. i don’t want this to get confused as me trying to push anyone’s hand, to accept a system that does not resonate- although i definitely think it’s worth some digging, i really do. but i understand we all see through a different lens. some pick up what others put down and vice-versa. i 100% believe that both can be valid simultaneously- to each their own! but i was just in the shower thinking about how much sense My personal placements shifting { a little to the east or a little to the west } just Makes. i’m still a virgo rising and an aries sun. my moon shifts to sagittarius which DID throw me for a loop at first lmao. i’ve always clung very tightly to my capricorn moon, although it’s in detriment, it just made sense to me. but with further inspection it came together. a cap moon always resonated because of how quickly i push things away and how i just have trouble making sense of my emotions in general. but there were things that did not resonate, too. i don’t feel that my lower, emotional, instinctive self has trouble feeling necessarily- not to say that cap moons don’t feel but they are considered more detached- i’m steeped in my feelings. but sag moons, and the pada my moon falls into in particular (vedic- which utilizes the sidereal zodiac)- has trouble taking their feelings and connecting them to the outer world. a break in connection. they’re described as more carefree, expansion seeking (i def did not ID w/ the ‘traditional’ trope of capricorn+saturn placements), c h a n g e seeking. i feel like people on the outside who don’t understand my inner workings (which is ofc most ppl) might see me as saturnian in my emotions but i don’t really agree, they’re very, even OVERLY present at all times but connecting them to the surface, connecting w/ those around me through them, can be a bit foreign to me. which my moon in the 4th pada explains fully. along w/ that is my virgo asc: critical, nervous, detail-oriented, a bit of a ‘fixer.’ this is the lens i am filtered through when it comes to the general public. so it makes sense that this earthy screen door breaks up my fire to those who don’t know me well or those i don’t Want to know me well (sun, mars & saturn in the 8th house). place a hand on the screen and it’s hot, you can feel it on the other side, but the image is broken into bits n pieces. my sidereal pisces mercury on the other hand CLICKED instantly. dreamerrrr, to a T. a bit of a space-cadet. wonderful with words on paper and in my head, i love my inner monologue, but everything comes out discombobulated and easily misconstrued on the surface. as a kid i lived in my fantasies and when i say lived i mean LIVED like, convinced myself they were real because i indulged so often type-lived in them. lolll. i also like to make the point that because your sign only ever moves one over, it makes sense that my or your tropical chart could feel relatively homey. everything is connected, right? so why wouldn’t neighboring signs have energies and traits etc. that bleed into one another a bit? it’s all up to your interpretation anyhow. astrology is universal, it’s a tool for understanding at it’s baseline. and if everyone has different lenses, this makes sense. that’s why i don’t like when people try to invalidate those who make the switch to sidereal like ‘oh you just want a different sign’ ‘so you’re just saying you suddenly don’t relate to your tropical chart at all after utilizing it for X amount of time? sounds fake but OK...’ YK? LOL. energy is energy. energy bleeds. and aside from just that, the configuration (and this is the biggest piece of the puzzle for me) essentially just re-configures itself. scrambles all of the pieces into different places. in my chart in particular i see this, which is part of why the transition was so easy to make sense of for me, i think. i can totally understand someone looking at their sidereal chart and being totally put-off if nearly all of their signs have shifted in different directions and EVERYTHING’S completely different, but like i said before, i still think it’s worth looking into and doing some uncovering because in most cases i believe it can make sense. but like i said before, everyone has their lenses and experiences and perceptions and i 100% believe BOTH zodiacs are valid! (7H mercury hiii) this is just my take. energy bleeds, it’s fluid, it moves. idk. just something to think about, if that makes any sense at all to anyone other than me lol. MOVING ALONG ! so yeah your mercury sign has a great impact on your perception+communication, right? it’s almost holding hands with my asc, in my mind. all of the signs+planets are holding hands in the grand scheme of things but my asc and mercury just Feel like BFFs (they are sister signs after all!!!). virgo+pisces working together to shape much of my perceptions+communications when it comes to the outer-world with my virgo asc sitting in the passenger seat and my pisces mercury sitting shotgun. ya, that’s perfect. then those close to me experience more of my fire+water combo, when my guard is down and i feel free to express my innards with a certain level of authenticity that my virgo would otherwise have it’s grip on. next is my aries mars which again, makes toooo much sense. tropical = taurus. slow to anger? uhhhhm? that was the first thing to pop into my mind. i’m very impulsive and angry and childish and reactionary and moves-too-fast-for-my-own-damn-good when i’m excited or angry- anything that brings drive into the equation. i want X outcome, thing, whatever & i want it N O W ! very me, lol. before i chalked this up to being my aries mercury (communication) & sun but again, it’s like i had 1,000 piece puzzle that i’ve been trying to finish forever and almost all of the pieces were in place but there were just a few with familiar edges that fit but not quite. and then sidereal came along and i was able to pop them all in place, exactly how they should be, and suddenly everything is clear as crystal. it still blows my mind to think about lmao. then my venus OH my VENUS ! in sidereal aquarius as opposed to tropical pisces. nownownow. another one that felt very RIGHT but i definitely did experience some trouble detaching from my pisces venus because aspects did makes sense. but. again. the fucking 1,000 piece puzzle. my pisces mercury + my aqua venus. those piscean, compassionate, dreamy, almost unconscious traits. i still felt them, they were very real, very there. it was just a matter of interpreting exactly where those traits tied back to. venus represents: “love, romance, sensuality, culture, beauty, affection and social appeal.” ! aquarius is: “progressive, original, independent, humanitarian.” i relate very very very much to aqua venuses. in love of all kinds very detached, extremely open-minded yet at times stubborn (seeing as aqua is fixed air), i feel suffocated without my independence like clingy-ness makes me feel like a wild dog (which could previously be chalked up to my aries stellium ofc) PARTICULARLY in romantic relationships. there is definitely some pride here as well (fixed). aquas a bit of an anomaly because it’s so extremely independent and One but at the same time humanitarian and forever-extending to contain More. ‘One’ can be interpreted that way, though, singularly or collectively. makes cents. in relationships i’ve always vowed to never ever ever say i love you first, make the first move, etc. because i’m too proud and too comfortable with being detached, leaving no room for painful rejection (my virgo asc also comes into play). but it was easy for me to mix that up w/ a pisces venus because of my pisces mercury- my communication style. my deeply empathetic Understanding and wish to understand, to unravel and envelope- all while being fiercely independent and determined to have a clear and defined Self within that curiosity and feel for all else. y’know? idk if this makes sense to anyone but me but it makes the MOST sense to me lol. 1,000 pieces. and when it comes to sidereal the arrangement is unnervingly Me. so yeah. that’s why i use sidereal LOL. { not getting into further placements bc do u see how fucking long this thing is already but believe me i’ve got plenty more where tht came from :p } TOODLES.