#idk if anyone cares but I posted something a few weeks ago for advice on balancing pup and drawing time since dogs need a lot of attention

[dolls-self-ships]

happy to announce that I finally found a route my puppy really likes so I’ve been able to take her for walks easier <3

[sunnysideaeggs]

episode 5 review! as always my dear friends, long post ahead, and remember i wrote this while i was watching and was sleepy. enjoy a piece of my mind love u ☀️💕

the smallfolk ‘caring’ for meleys as if rhaenys hadn’t killed thousands of their own a few weeks ago. ‘rhaenyra will answer this’ be fr. you should be grateful your cousin was avenged. or they kinda forgot about the dragonpit idk

now this is the kind of gruesomeness i wanted for aegon’s wounds. hear me out: he has shown his commitment to his cause. he bled and burned for the realm. only his wounds prevented him from ruling, and it won’t be permanent.

also is it me or his wounds are in the wrong side? i know in the books he’s supposed to have the right ride of his body burned, but in last episode we see aegon’s right facing vhagar’s fire. condal answer pls

i fucking hate aemond. he sees his brother, his king, in the verge of death and all he cares is about power. book aemond would never.

gotta love rhaenyra’s 🧐❓ face in the council. she’s not prepared for this she’s so confused i love emma’s faces lol

lmao a valid concern of lord broome is dismissed as MysoGYNy. daemon left because rhaenyra allowed it, she’s not attending council, she ignores problems, she doesn’t know how to act. his complaints are valid, rhaenyra should be grateful he’s giving advice and loyalty instead of demanding praise in top of all.

now this is ridiculous. canon rhaenyra was out of question for battle because she was resting after a terrible miscarriage (which is one of the only points i give her: she was doing what was best) but are we supposed to believe that eeeevery time miss rhae wanted to go to battle and eeeeevery time her council dissuaded her? 💀

baela sidelined and admitting she’s being used as a shield for jacaerys, accepting that. consoling her fiancé instead of being consoled for the lost of her grandmother. girlie has red eyes from crying but she still has to center a man.

‘the brackens are from the seven hells’ aren’t you a follower of the old gods? be consistent.

daemon of all people being ‘diplomatic’ 😭

looool lady jeyne complaining that the dragons she got from shein aren’t the right size. well babe if you sent two baby dragons i’ll sent my 15k swords with a 2 year delay. fair game.

we got a scene of rhaena crying for lucerys, but not rhaenys. she was basically the twins’ mother since they were kids but they don’t mourn her?

rhaenyra complaining she got a position in viserys’ council and was taught diplomacy from a young age, but believes that sword training would’ve been more useful 💀 of course she takes that boring council stuff for granted so much she doesn’t use it.

‘if i must be suplicant to my own husband what does that make me?’ a woman. a wife.

this quote summarizes how rhaenyra is so disconnected from the experiences of women in her world, so much she can’t fathom them for herself. she’s so singled out that not even the next most powerful women in the realm (alicent and helaena) are free from being supplicant to their husbands.

they wanna give the smallfolk’s favor to the blacks? 💀💀💀 if this is foreshadowing for the storming of the dragonpit i riot.

so you agree? dragons choose their riders and don’t care for inheritances? good to know.

rhaenyra is so memememe all the time ew. can’t focus on anyone else for five minutes without asking for something. i just know she would be so tiring to be around.

DAEMON’S MOMMY ISSUES 🤨🤨🤨 that shit will haunt me. also they de-yassified alyssa smh

daemon being trapped in a haunted castle and a diplomatic hell is funny af. now he knows what otto always yapped about.

and he still is delulu about being king. some things never change

my poor king :(

lmao as if alicent had ever one ounce of power without otto. and as if she isn’t dismissed by the council every day of the week. girl you can’t even rule over your sons sit down

alicent would’ve had a lot more power and influence if she had played her cards right and treated aegon a little better. fafo.

larys wanting criston to say shit so alicent gets mad at him 😂

i would like an explanation for why random peasants are so loyal to rhaenyra when they don’t know her, she’s very polemical and she would sneer at the sight of them. writer’s nonsense again

also another nonsense is the crown not having coin. they literally have the whole treasure, so much they can play with it for plot related reasons that will be important later

that dog cared for cheese more than alicent cared for aegon.

nooo poor ali 😭😭😭 the king looked to you for advice and you spurned him. now there’s another one in charge and he’s not so eager for your opinion.

jace comparing vermax to vhagar 💀 babe you can’t compete when you don’t compare

daemon rn: day’s never finished, master’s got me working, someday master’ll set me freeee 🪓🎶

and he’s shading rhaenyra lmao

alys is so cryptic and unhinged i love her

baela being more loyal to her stepmother than her grandfather 💀 well it’s not like corlys ever defended her before so idk

gotta love how all of the discord and resentment is resolved by ✨ girl power✨

‘driftmark must pass to salt and sea’ was lucerys salt and sea? is joffrey salt and sea? be truthful. look at me in the eyes.

FINALLY SOME BLACKWOOD SLANDER

i hate the blackwoods during the dance for the shit they did. the septs, the pillaging, those atrocities are brushed over because of george’s bias. i didn’t expect a lot from the show but i’m pleasantly surprised.

i love that riverlands’ lady. i love all of the riverlords now. i think people forget that the brackens have decent relationships with most other houses and only have a very specific rivalry with a very specific house that just happens to be a pet of george.

also how did they get to harrenhal so fast? i forgot to mention how it’s so surreal for armies and people to travel so fast. how did jace got to the twins and was right on time for dinner the same day?

i just know the aemondwives will have a field day with the scene of aemond looking at the throne. that camera descending? now that’s what i’m talking about.

helaena asking the real questions here.

an answer????

egg 😭😭😭 he deserves so much more. his panting, his burns, he looks like a sick child and this is the first time we see someone giving him a gentle touch

i love alicent’s dress. you son is battling with the stranger and you’re serving cunt? helaena is with the same dress from ep2 and alicent has a new wardrobe 😵‍💫

MUMMY 😭😭😭

i’d like alicent praying for aegon. they made religion a big part of her character just to erase it this season or conveniently point the finger at her for ‘sinning’. we get alicent praying for lucerys and viserys but are we supposed to believe she wasn’t praying by aegon’s bedside? we could get an interesting parallel with catelyn and bran there.

rhaenyra wanting to be visenya 💀 girl visenya would kill everyone who said she couldn’t fight or rule or anything else. if rhaenyra can’t stand up to her council she can’t stand up to her enemies.

jace proposing the dragonseeds yay

rhaenyra dismissing the idea of dragonseeds because ‘their blood is thin’ but not recognizing the actual danger of giving a dragon to someone unrelated to the targs (something that will be important to the plot later) shows exactly where her priorities are.

i wanted more helaena. i wanted more aegon. smh

[softxsuki]

Could I request a letter for your Valentines Day Letter Event? I would love love LOVE a letter from baji. We've been friends since middle school and we became offical when we went to the same University. (He does veterinary medicine and I do art.) I'm 20 and he's 21 (dating for a couple of years at the time of him writting ir) and well... he does call me a variety of pet names depending on his mood (just wanna be call dollface/cutie). TONE: I'm thinking about a hurt to comfort letter where I get hurt/bullied (harassed and peer pressured by bullies and idk how to response bc i thought uni wasn't the place for bullying and high school drama. Guess not 💀) and he saves me but I don't respond bc i feel week and I should have done something instead of waiting for him ro come save me and I just feel undeserving of his love and isolate myself in my dorm (we live in different dorms). Baji not being sure on what to do/not wanting to pressure me (ik he isn't like this but shhh it's for the sake of the letter) write a letter expressing how much he genuinely cares for me and loves me (without it being out of character) and that I'm not alone and I have him. Location: it takes place at uni (so he slips it through underneath the door. After I read it, he comes in and we just cuddle and watch a movie (whilst hes holding me in his strong arms. He stays the night and makes me breakfast, also he "talks" to my bullies so that when I see them again they all run away 🏃 (they want no smoke). Other information: I'm usually the more affectionate one between us and like he reciprocates (was quite shy at first but warmed up to it and how he starts it... it gets a little heated sometimes if he's jealous 😳). I hope I'm not coming off as ooc by saying this (please correct me if I am). I feel like baji is somewhat reserved in public (unless he's jealous) like the most he'll do if give me a kiss or a brief hug (maybe ruffle my hair) but like o can tell he cares. I can't proprrly articulate it but he isn't just a feral troublemaker, he's more than that (acts of service - giving me water, snacks if so I don't get hungry or thirsty/reminding me to like eat and hydrate. Also I can confinde him about anything and he won't judge me for it. Also he doesn't judge me for my autism (actually G checks and fucks up anyone who tries it) and he doesn't care if I'm stimming or pacing around and like it's just really nice to not be seen as weird. Also like he's really attentive like if I'm having a shitty day he wont just not say anything, he'll pick up on it and do his dammest to make it go away. Like giving me advice (amazing if not a bit blunt), or doing what he can. Also I sometimes draw portraits and art of him bc I love him (and my hobby is art) and even if he insists I don't need to. I always make sure to buy him gifts (new cat toys/food, veterinary resources, yskisoba and snacks, etc) bc I want to give back to him.

But yeah that's all there is to it. I hope it isn't too much. Thank you for accepting my request and letting me send this in.

I hope you have a nice day. Ur amazing.

Baji's Comforting Letter to His Girlfriend

This event is now CLOSED, but you can view the masterlist for the other letters here.

| Pairing: Baji x Fem!Reader | Genre: Comfort, Fluff | Post-Type: Letter | Word Count: 1.1k|

Warnings: mentions of bullying, reader feels a little insecure

Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you enjoy your letter from Baji :)

Baji feels awkward standing in front of your dorm door, his letter grasped between his fingers. You had run away from him a few days ago after he helped you out upon seeing your classmates harass you. Not knowing what to say after that, he gave you your space, but you still hadn’t reached out to him at all.

Worry filled him after your silence. Were you upset with him for some reason that he didn’t immediately reach out to you? Anxiety bubbled up within him as he stood outside your dorm room. It was Valentine’s Day and while that usually meant just staying indoors and ordering takeout with you like any other date, Baji felt like he had to do something extra for you this year to cheer you up. 

He wasn’t used to expressing his affection for you verbally, especially not in a letter since his handwriting was horrible and he couldn’t spell to save his life, but this is what lots of guys did for their girlfriends, right? Maybe it would help you feel better.

Swallowing his pride and brushing his embarrassment away, he slips the letter under your door and knocks a few times before rushing to hide behind a nearby wall so you wouldn’t see him.

You, busy sulking on your own in your dorm, jump slightly at the sudden knock on your door. You were  embarrassed that you had run away from your boyfriend after he helped you out. Of course you were grateful for his help and having him protect you like that sent butterflies erupting in your stomach, but you had let your classmates' words get to you. You felt undeserving of Baji’s love, how could you possibly deserve his attention when you were just you?

Sighing, you stand from your bed that you were wallowing away on, and approach your door, seeing an envelope in front of it. Curiously, you pick it up and see your name written on it. You look through the peephole of your dorm door but don’t see anyone outside it, opening the door slightly just to make sure no one was there, before closing it again.

You take a seat on your bed again as you open the envelope and begin to read its contents;

Hey Dollface,

Did I scare you off the other day? Or were you embarrassed that I found out you were getting picked on? You know I don’t care about things like that, but I wish you had told me yourself so I could have helped you out sooner. Don’t worry about those idiots, they won’t bother you again, in fact, no one will bother you again, I’ve made it very clear to them that they shouldn’t mess with my girl…

I’m sorry if I upset you for not running after you and giving you space. I should have looked for you and comforted you right away. But just…don’t feel like you’re alone. We’re partners, I want to share the pain you feel and I want to know when someone is bothering you so I can sort it out quickly. I love you too much to see you throw yourself down like that. If anything, I’m the one undeserving of you.

Anyway, it’s Valentine’s Day and I heard guys write stupid letters like these or something, so here it is. I really don’t get it, but if it makes you happy then good. I love you.

From,

You know who, do I really need to say it??

You smile to yourself as you read the letter, it was so like him. Super curt, straight to the point,  and probably took him forever to write out properly since the grammar and spelling were perfect. You read through the letter one more time, your eyes always stopping at his words ‘my girl’. You were his girl, despite how many times you may have thought you didn’t deserve his love, Baji would never pretend to be interested in you, he knew what he wanted, and that was you.

The only thing you’d ever picture him doing is pushing you away if you were ever in danger because of him. But he’d never lead you on and pretend to care for you, so why were you so worried in the first place?

You laugh to yourself and quickly grab your things, wanting to see him as soon as possible. Two days without being in his arms was long enough. You open your dorm door, but you definitely don’t expect to see your handsome man in front of you already. He backs you up into your dorm room and closes the door behind him, his eyes never leaving yours.

You could see his red ears, hinting as his embarrassment from his letter, but he still stood tall, his confidence never leaving. 

“Did you read it?” He asks, a hand coming up to rub your arms.

Baji had never been one to initiate affection with you, but since dating you for a while and getting used to your touchiness, he finds himself reaching out to you first now more often. He loves it.

“Mhm, thank you,” you smile, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. “I loved it, and I love you. Thank you for stepping in the other day for me…and I’m sorry for running off on you like that without a word, I just felt embarrassed.”

He shakes his head and laughs huskily, pulling you into his arms, his chin leaning on your shoulder as he squeezes you tight, “You don’t need to apologize. It’s my job to look out for you, just know that they won’t be bothering you again. They know what’ll happen if they do.”

You hug him back, missing the feeling of having his arms around you

“I’m sure you did. Thank you,” you hum, before a teasing smile graces your lips, “Happy Valentine’s Day. Such a romantic gesture to threaten my ‘bullys’ for me.”

He groans in your neck, guiding you back to your bed where he pushes you back into the mattress, hovering over you, “Yeah yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day. As long as you’re happy.”

And happy you were as he leaned down to pepper kisses all over your face.

Your day of love was spent cuddled up together with a movie playing in the background as Baji later attempts to cook brunch since it was still early on in the day. It wasn’t perfect, but you could care less as long as you got to spend it with him, that’s all that mattered.

Posted: 2/14/2024

[covenofthearticulate]

12!!!!!

12. what’s some good advice you want to share? Hi this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week now because genuinely I had NO IDEA what to say for the longest time because I...haven't gotten a lot of outstanding advice in my life lmao!!!

But it just hit me the other day though because I've been seeing a lot of those posts here on tumblr about like "do all the things that make your inner child happy! do all the things you dreamed about doing as a kid" and idk I've been thinking about it a lot because on the one hand YES absolutely treat yourself to ice cream or stickers or little things that fill you with joy, like that's lovely and we should always remember to be kinder to ourselves!

But the thing I've been grappling with a lot lately that no one ever told me is that it's okay that your aspirations now are different than your aspirations 10 years ago. Idk, this is just something I have to consistently remind myself of because like...in the fall of this year, I was offered my literal dream job. Like, my actual. DREAM. job. at my dream company. The exact job I wanted since I knew it was a thing people got paid to do. The job I stalked on linkedin throughout college. The job I told people I wanted to eventually land whenever anyone asked me about my "career plan."

I was offered that job.

And I was lucky enough to get to do a trial run of that job (it was a whole mess. I basically stepped in and worked as an interim position for the new job on top of working my other position so i was working two jobs for like 6 months and wanted to kill myself the whole time) only to find that it was NOT what I actually wanted! Turns out said dream job was stressful and not fulfilling at all and didn't allow me the same flexibility to work while also taking care of my family!

So ANYWAY long story short, when it came time to choose if I wanted to take the shiny new dream position or stay in my current position, I kept going back to this idea that I have to take it, because it's everything High School Ashley wanted, I could brag so much to my friends and family, I could be the hometown hero who actually achieved her dreams at 25 years old, I could stick it to all the assholes who told me that it wasn’t a viable career.

But uh. Obviously that didn't happen LOL! I chose not to take the job, and over the past few months I've been learning to let go of all the things I used to idealize as a kid. And I'm also learning that grind culture is bullshit and being stagnant isn't a death sentence!! I stayed in my original job because it makes me happy and my co-workers are lovely and it's much more intellectually stimulating! And I'm really, really happy!

Jesus christ this turned into a very long personal rant but TL;DR— growing up means knowing when to nurture your inner child, but it also means understanding that circumstances change, that wants and needs change, and that your definition of success is something that needs to grow and change as well.

[mrwinterr]

preview: “slippery, smooth” part 2 (bucky barnes x female reader)

idk if anyone really cares or had chose to follow me because of the “one-hit wonder” of a one shot i posted a few months ago - that massage one - but since it’s sebastian’s bday today i kind of wanted to do something a little special. so, i’m dropping a snippet (that in its entirety, may not even be in the final product) of a follow-up i’d been working on to “slippery, smooth”.

i’ve queued a shit storm of stuff since i’d returned to work almost a month ago, which will explain all the nonsense on this blog, as i expected i knew that i’d never have that time to myself again. plus, i’ll admit i’d been distracted by other stuff. 

anyway. whatever. idk. idc. here's what i’m working with so far. i’m still playing around on a title for this, but it’ll still be posted regardless...eventually.

oh! & don’t worry, this preview is mostly sfw 😌

“We could’ve just booked you another appointment at the spa, you know?” You remind him as you anxiously fidget with your fingers.

You weren’t sure about doing this again. No, let’s rephrase that. You were sure you wanted to do this again with him, you just weren’t sure about doing it again with him at his place because it wasn’t just his place. He shared this entire building with his teammates. Your place was too small, offering insufficient room for the airbed you both were planning to utilize.  

“No way! I was just there last week. If Sam found out I went without him again, I’m never gonna hear the end of it,” Bucky rebuttals and shakes his head.

He’s right. He came in to see you just last week and he later called to tell you how Sam caught him in a lie on his whereabouts. It was mostly about Sam being pissed that he wasn’t invited and how he was still apparently unable to book a session with you.  

It had taken Bucky weeks to work up the courage to see you again after that first visit. You were embarrassed to admit it then, but you were hoping he’d have come in sooner. You’d feared you might’ve come on a bit too strong even with his admission. Bucky ended up booking himself another appointment on his own without Sam or to anyone else’s knowledge and you were more than thrilled that day to find your afternoon client was him.

“You’re right and they might get suspicious,” you say and nod in response.

That was another thing. How was Bucky supposed to announce to everyone that he hit it off with his masseuse so well that he’s now sort of seeing her? If it were any other couple, your advice to them would be ‘fuck it and tell them’ but you and Bucky weren’t any other couple. He hadn’t even taken you out on a proper date yet because of how conflicting your schedules were. You were working backwards but you started to really like Bucky enough that you wanted things to go right with him, so you tried to meet him halfway on this and spare any embarrassing scenarios until you found the right way to reveal the relationship to everyone.

It shouldn’t be that complex, but you had a hunch that Sam would never let Bucky live this one down for a while. On another note, you certainly couldn't keep seeing him like this at the workplace either, so something had to give soon.  

“Besides...the girl up front said you were booked this whole week,” he added.

You sent him an apologetic smile at that. You were in fact completely booked throughout the week. People are just under a lot of stress these days, you guessed. Today was your first day off and the fact you chose to spend it with Bucky made his heart soar.

“We’re eventually going to have to tell someone, Bucky,” you say and stop playing with your hands by straightening your arms, parallel to each side of your body.

Bucky detects the conflicted features on your face and gets up on his feet. He takes those few steps to you and slips his hands between the space of your arms and torso to pull your body close to his by grabbing your waist.

“We will, but for now let’s just focus on this,” and with that his lips close in on yours in a sweet, savoring kiss.

It was one of the things you absolutely loved about Bucky. He took time to relish every moment whether it was the first kiss or the first slip of his tongue or cock, he did it so slow and so mesmerizing that it drove you wild each and every time.

[purplesurveys]

1262

o1. With which one of your friends do you spend the most time? With which friend do you spend the least amount of time? Would you like to change this in any way? I don’t really get to...spend time with my friends, in that sense. For very obvious reasons. But I talk to Angela and Reena the most. Andi and I talk a lot too, but not everyday. 

Among my friends, I probably talk to my college group the least these days, but that’s mostly because 2/3 of them are pursuing law school, and the 1/3 have jobs and are as busy as I am. We’re still as tight as ever and our group chat becomes active at least once a week.

o2. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Illinois, Louisiana, New York, Utah. Countries: Malta, Switzerland, Thailand, South Korea.

o3. If you have one, how often do you watch your favorite television show? How long has this show been your favorite? I’m not a big TV person, tbh. The closest thing to my favorite would be Friends, which I rewatch at least one episode of once a month though I used to watch it FAR more often than that, hahaha. I think I first hooked to it...I wanna say 2018?Or 2019. Sometime in between those years. o4. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No. He’s allowed to have girl friends. The only reason it bothered me when it was Gabie was because we were both aware that her guy friends were genuinely into her. I never channeled my annoyance towards her though; I was definitely more pissed off at those guys for not learning how to back off when needed.

o5. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? We don’t have snow, but our equivalent would be days off school because of a typhoon. Anyway, I just spent them lounging around and mostly watching stuff on YouTube. In college I was a bit more diligent and would use the extra time to catch up on readings.

o6. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? Not that I am aware of. I probably wouldn’t befriend someone who did if we weren’t already close, because there’s no telling what kind of influence they would be on me.

o7. When was the last time that you were afraid for your life? Did this incident change you in any way? When I was really sick back in May. Not really, I just wanted to recover as quickly as possible.

o8. Do you enjoy taking pictures? Is it just for fun, or do you make an attempt at actual photography? I didn’t then, but it’s something I’m trying to do more often now. I’ve realized I have very few souvenirs from the last few years because I barely took photos then, so it sucks not being able to revisit memories and ending up forgetting others completely. I definitely don’t plan to take it so far as taking photography lessons; taking pictures from my own perspective and in my own style suffices.

o9. Have you ever had low self-esteem? How is your self-esteem now? Yeah, sure. I had a recent phase of it because of the breakup, but I’ve recovered from it. My self-esteem is a lot healthier and more stable these days.

o1o. When you see someone sickly-thin, what is your first thought? Nothing for the most part, but I would obviously be concerned if that person was starting to show worrying signs of malnutrition. Idrk what you mean by sickly-thin.

o11. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Not really, only because I’ve rarely had to go there.

o12. What did you dress up as the last time you went Trick-or-Treating? Who went with you? I went as Sofie, my old best friend from high school.

o13. What is one thing you miss most from your childhood? What do you miss the least? The part about having less responsibilities and more time to just have fun and do whatever I want. But I didn’t really have a picture-perfect childhood either, so my list of things I don’t miss for sure trumps the list of stuff I do miss.

o14. What would be the biggest challenge involved in raising a child at your age? How to send them to a good school because I don’t make nearly enough to afford tuition for another person.

o15. If you happened to get pregnant before you were ready for children, how would you cope? Do you think your parents would support you and help you out? I don’t know, honestly; and the thought kind of scares me. I know my parents wouldn’t provide support whatsoever, so I’d have to claw my way to find it from other people who would be willing. I’d probably need to take an extra job to earn enough money to support us both.

o16. Have you ever had unprotected sex? What would you tell a young teen thinking about having unprotected sex? Yeah, but I was also with a girl, so...idk. I don’t have a lot of sexual experience either so I dunno what sort of advice to tell a teen other than ‘don’t do it,’ lmao.

o17. What are some gender double-standards anger you? All of them. < Yes.

o18. Other than the usual qualities (honesty, respect, etc), what are some attributes you want your BF/GF to possess? Patience in the sense that I tend to be sensitive, so if they crack a joke that I ended up getting hurt or offended by, or if I get triggered by something minor that would otherwise be normal for anyone else, I hope they are patient enough to ride the wave out with me. I didn’t experience that with my past partner, and was often told to just stop being sensitive.

o19. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No, because doing so is detrimental to my well-being.

o2o. Five years ago, what was the most important thing in your life? How about the most important person? My relationship, barf. Gabie, another barf.

21. How would you describe your sexuality? Have you ever wondered whether or not you might be homo/bisexual? I’ve stopped caring about it. I say asexual to people just so I have an answer to say.

o22. Do you think that homosexual couples should be able to raise or adopt children? Why or why not? Yeah...because I don’t see why they can’t be granted that right?

o23. Think of your worst fear. What would you do if you were confronted with it right now? Hyperventilate.

o24. If you were to become a vegetarian, what meat-product would you miss the most? Have you ever been or wanted to be a vegetarian? Chicken wings or sandwiches. I’ve thought about it before, yes. It’s too expensive a lifestyle where I live, though.

o25. Do you think that someone’s sexuality is something that they can control? No.

o26. What do you like most about your favorite animal? They’re very friendly and always down to play. :)

o27. What is your favorite way to eat your favorite food? How often do you eat your favorite food item? Eating burgers by hand is always the best. I have one maybe once a month.

o28. What is something you are craving? Will this craving be satisfied? KFC’S DOUBLE DOWN. I’ll get one next week, when I get my next pay lol. The rest of my budget this week is already allotted for my mom’s birthday/JK’s belated birthday dinner tomorrow.

o29. What is the largest number of texts you have sent in a day? Do you often text this much? Ooooh, I dunno. Maybe around 200-300 in a day? My ex and I primarily communicated through text whenever we weren’t physically together, which was often as we were both students in different schools.

o3o. Do you like the holiday season? Why or why not? What could be better about it? Some parts of it I like, some parts of it I don’t. The latter mostly stems from insecurities I will feel from seeing other families on social media, who always seem to be having a better and fancier time than I am. It’s why I usually deactivate during Christmas so I don’t get to see posts that can affect my disposition.

[imagine-something-fun]

here goes nothing ig...

So idk whos going to read this and my English is fucked so if youre gonna read this goodluck. BuT!!

Hi, how are you? ig that we havent seen eachother in a while and since then alot has changed. Now that i think about it i rlly wouldnt know what exactly, ive been so inactive on here that it seems like 4 years ago since i last posted. The reason i am posting this today is because i saw old chats on here and i read them and i got so miserable. Im not that person i was when i used this media platform and i shall never be again, and that scares the living hell out of me.

I saw all those chats eventually die off and the thing was, i dont think i even noticed, maybe not even cared. i was rlly weird but in that way also rlly strong. Maybe its just the one too many stabbies in the back or the 1 time too many that i felt excluded but idk if im still that strong.

Yes, I was a bitch. Do i regret it? to a certain level. but i now understand why i was the way i was and sometimes i still wanna be like that.

All i ever wanted was love and acceptance, once i didnt even feel happy in my own skin anymore i started to freak out. Lash out inside is fine with me, destroy your liver who cares? You can do with a few braincells less. Well i could until i couldnt. and then i got mad at everyone around me.

Im not going to say that i shouldnt have gotten so mad, but i will say that i shouldnt have gotten so sad. It wasnt necessarily directed to you but it did hurt so much and everything became too much and then i had enough.

Enough of everyone who judged me and enough of the people i called friends. But to them i will say, even tho you will never read this and maybe its better that way, im sorry i cared so much and im sorry it wasnt meant to be, but the only one i should say sorry to well that person, she is me. (hihi i rhyme)

Yk, the only thing i ever asked for was acceptance and thats the one thing i never got. ive been my share of bitchy and mean and stupid and dumb tho, i wouldnt have wanted to hang out with me either, atleast something we agreed on. But hating myself and hearing it from the only person you wanted understanding from, well that sUcks. But now i think abt it im even a little bit thankful.

Yes you were all so harsh in your own way and i tried so hard to fit in, but i tried too much and if everything wouldnt have gone the way it went, and if i never dug myself so deep i never wouldve gotten myself out of there. Out of the brainkillers, moodswings but most importantly, out of that band.

It was the one thing i loved most, and the only thing that killed me inside. Im going to admit i am insecure, not abt my body or face or hair or any of that. Im insecure about belonging. Do i fit in? and i didnt and i told myself i did. In just a few months i started hating what i loved most.

And if i hadnt been so down i wouldnt have ever seen how much i actually love him. And if i hadnt seen that and never figured i can live my life the way i want to, i wouldve never quit that band and wouldve stayed with those people alot longer.

if the odds are against me and you actually do read this on my very open social media page i dont blame you, maybe just get really embarrassed. but ill just let you know i never replaced you, once i realised i couldnt live my life with you in it, i never wanted to know anyone that even resembled you. and that thought gave me more peace of mind then any of the past 2 years ever gave me.

yes this is a very big rant about how i struggle with change and yes i know ill cringe about it in a few weeks months years whatever, but i do this for me, read it or dont. but if you did and youre reading this right now, whoever you are, i wanna ask you.

Are you happy?

because i wasnt, even when i thought i was, and maybe i just wanna give you my word of advice but dont go looking for something youll never find. itll save you alot of time and energy and trust me, youll need it.

so i think i finished up here. thank you for reading this although you really didnt have to.

Goodnight,

Jackie

[honeyymistt]

[1/2] hey, okay, it's me again. i feel like i'm treating you like an unpaid therapist but idk where to share this and how to get help (this is kinda lengthy, and i do apologise for that)

i think i'm running out of patience for myself on how to live with myself; all my favourite artists and fictional characters experience this same hollow loneliness but they just— keep going..... despite it all. i'm trying to keep busy with studying but that quickly led to an all-nighter and now i can't fall asleep despite my exhaustion. i think the goals i've had in mind for myself are too high, so i'm just going to spend the next week reading without shame or guilt and try to finally start learning russian. i don't really take care of my physical fitness bc i'm always tired and i feel like all my energy is spent on keeping in check with eating and taking care of my physical hygiene. i have so much time each day and yet at the end of the day i still feel like i did nothing even though i read and studied a lot. i just feel like i'm stagnated, still in my 16-year-old teenage mind bc i spent my youth numbing myself bc i couldn't stand my own thoughts. i havent talked to anyone really, besides my famil, in weeks, and i know loneliness is a common feeling most of us carry with us, but since i'm not very smart and don't know about a lot of things that matter, like history and art, i just feel so inadequate because all these people i look up to, and secretly aspire to be, are fundamentally different from me. they have rich inner lives even in times of despair, they know how to build their own lives in the rubble and just keep on going despite it all. i just feel like a shell of a human being (dramatic i know). i'm also aware that i'm highly privileged and don't have to worry about money and housing, etc. and i'm grateful for that but despite that I just hate myself and I wish I could be someone else and change; I've tried to over the past years but i never make any actual changes in my life? I don't want to die per se, I just don't want to keep on living like this.

[2/2] also, with the looming climate desaster and our world being ruled by capitalism i know a lot of worries and problems stem from that;;;; also i've had this very embarrassing conversation with my family a month ago; i was very drunk and ofc started talking about capitalism, etc. and lgbtq rights. they're very conservative, smart and well-read and i'm just the complete opposite— my point being, bc i feel so desperately lonely i'm trying to have these conversations with the people around me that are obviously only really meant to be had with close pals and not with 60 year olds who only care about the bootstrap theory etc. anyway my grandmother called me out on my bs and said "so what have you done in your life so far?" nothing. i shouldn't complain about other people, politics etc. and the patriarchal, white supremacist strucures around us bc i've never worked a day in my life...... it's just. i know she's right. but like i literally don't know how to hold conversations anymore and can never recall stuff i read accurately so i'm just talking shit the whole time. i'm so desperately trying to get their approval but i'm just not well-read and smart enough. i know being dumb is not the worst thing to be, i'm alive and living in a well-situated area, but it's the only thing i used to define myself with. my parents expected a lot of us as children and i couldn't deliver. so i pretty much forced them to stop pressuring me but i wish they did now. bc then i would be smart, worldly and have a bright future. i'm sorry for the long rambling. i also don't want to ruin your feed by my long asks...... anyway, if you have any advice i would be so glad to hear it. bc i feel like i'm going slightly insane. -💌 sorry for doing this <33 🤠 feel free to just delete this;;;

hi 💌-anon!!!

don't feel bad for sending this in. your long post is going to have a long answer and it ruining my feed is literally the last thing on my mind. if it bothers people, that's on them ;) similarly to the last ask you sent in, i kind of just pulled out a few things that you wrote and decided to give my perspective on it. i hope that reading some of my (very scrambled) thoughts will relax your mind and heart just a little bit. everything will be okay, i promise.

so the first thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned how all of your favorite fictional characters just keep on going when they feel lonely and i know how frustrating that can be because it's so glorified. they just keep going and then boom! things are better, right? i want you to remember that this is fiction and not an accurate representation of how hard the feeling of loneliness actually hits. so try not to compare yourself to your favorite character and beat yourself up if you're not dealing with loneliness as well as they did because everything in fiction is better and easier.

as for feeling exhausted because of the goals you've made for yourself, i know what you mean. i'm such a perfectionist and workaholic (i suffered from such bad burn out this year). i'm learning how to lower them as well. it's good to be ambitious. it's amazing to have big dreams and goals but you have to prepare yourself for setbacks and failure. so from now on, it's decided that you and me, are going to be accountability buddies. no more unrealistic goals and deadlines. i will hold you accountable, you will hold me accountable and we'll improve together 🤍

so you don't know about things like history and art and you claim that these are things that matter. but matter to who? are you genuinely intrigued by these things? if you are, then study it. read about it. ask questions. but if they just matter to your family, then i really don't think you need to know about these things extensively. it's always good to know things generally but if you aren't interested, then don't waste your time learning about it just to please others.

i could be completely wrong, but from what i understood from your message, you feel really lonely and you're starting to feel a bit stuck. you're surrounded by people who are different from you and that sometimes makes you feel suffocated because the conversations you want to have aren't wanted by others. the first thing i noticed in your message is that you repeatedly call yourself stupid or dumb. you need to stop that, okay? if you keep telling that to yourself, it will destroy a lot of opportunities for you. trust me, i know. you will turn down opportunities thinking that you're not smart enough for it but it's not true. you don't need to be smart to have a bright future. you can be creative, you can athletic, you can be selfless, you can be funny. maybe you just need to embrace who you are and trust that you will have a bright future by just being you. i'll tell you something: you don't need to be exactly like your family to have their success. you need a determination and a good work ethic. where do you start? stop underselling your intelligence. believe in yourself!!!

P.S i can tell that you're smart because your vocabulary is out of this world!!! and oh my god, can we talk about your punctuation? like bestie, you're ahead of the game. i also had to google what the bootstrap theory is. you are smarter than you give yourself credit for!!

another thing i would encourage you to do is to avoid "deep" conversations with your family. if your family is very conservative, there are going to be certain topics that they just won't understand and it might make you frustrated or feel misunderstood; it might make you feel more lonely. i would advise you to just stick to more lighthearted conversations with them. it's not that you don't know how to hold conversations, it's just that the people you're talking to aren't the right listeners.

my sweet 💌-anon, times like these are normal! we all feel lonely at times and i know it's tough and it's frustrating and you feel like nothing in your life is going to work out but i promise you, it will. the universe has it's way of doing that. if i could, i would give you the chance to see yourself the way i see you - full of potential, warm-hearted, and so so deserving of a good life filled with love, caring people and success. times are tough, but so are you. you haven't made it this far to only come this far!! remember that i'm here for you every step of the way and you can message me any time you need to. i will never delete it or ignore you. i love talking to you <3

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Friday Nights (1)

Full series: 2 3 4 5 6 (more coming soon), 

Word count: 1491     

Genre: Honestly idk, maybe a little angst but mostly fluff? 

Pairing: Jake x Amy (with platonic others in the squad)

Warnings: Minor swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Summary: After Amy’s breakup with her boyfriend, Jake and Amy establish a weekly binge watching night and both avoid their feelings for each other.

A/N: So I had this posted on my wattpad account as well as some of the other chapters but I wanted to move it here as well because I’m more active here. I wrote this over six months ago now near the beginning of quarantine and although it doesn’t seem that long ago I feel like I’ve gotten better as a writer since then. Also I’m not done this series yet but because I already had this posted elsewhere I will have some other chapters up and will hopefully finish this series within a few weeks. If you like this and want to continue reading go to chapter two which is up and you can find the whole series on my masterlist.

**Please note that the warnings, pairing and genre are for the whole series so it varies chapter to chapter.

Amy POV

It's pathetic really. It's seven o'clock on a Friday night and I am alone in my apartment after being dumped again. I got the text this morning after I had just got to the precinct. Luckily nobody else was around because I got there really early (as usual), but I still had to go through the rest of the day pretending that nothing was wrong. It was such a jerk move for him to break up with me over text but then again I always knew he was a coward. That's why I don't understand why I am so upset about this because I never liked Daniel and actually was planning to break up with him. Him dumping me should feel like more of a relief. Maybe it's the principle of the matter and being dumped reminded me that I don't have anyone significant in my life. I just feel like I am getting older and all my friends and brothers seem to have someone in their lives but I am just always alone. I want someone who I can share everything with and who doesn't find me boring like all my exes seem to. Just because I like binders and time tables doesn't mean that I can't be exciting - I am a detective after all.

 Still having an exciting job doesn't equid being an exciting person that much is obvious. Besides I'm not even a cool detective like Rosa or Jake and I so often avoid outside of work gatherings that I am often uninvited or just forgotten. Like today. Honestly I think that not being invited to the celebration at Shaw's is bothering me just as much as my break up because it cements the fact that I am boring in other people's eyes. Right now the rest of the squad is sure to be there eating, drinking, talking and generally just having a good time as I sit on my couch alone with nothing to eat. The hunger makes me wish I had been invited to Shaw's because I am such a horrible cook that I have nothing in my fridge that is an actual meal, it's just a bunch of vegetables. Although I would be less hungry at Shaw's my loneliness would stay the same. Everyone else in the squad is so close to each other that it makes me feel left out even when I have known them for years. Every time that I try to do something to make me look cool in their eyes it back fires and I end up saying something dumb. We are friends but they definitely don't care about me as much as I care about them. They probably didn't even notice that they forgot to invite me again.

With that a tear slips down my face and my eyes water threatening to overflow. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down. I hate crying so much because it makes me feel so weak. Growing up with seven brothers meant that if I cried they would tease me about it and say I was too sensitive. Even now with nobody here to see me cry I feel like I need to stay stronger and hold it in. With my breath returning to normal and my eyes no longer watering I reach up and wipe the single tear off of my cheek. Crying won't help me feel better, it will just make it worse. What I need to do is figure out a plan to distract myself and that starts with getting food. Just as I stand up from my couch to leave I hear a knock on the door.

Jake POV

The sound of music and conversation greets my ears as I step into the fairly crowded bar. It's still early (not even seven yet) but that doesn't matter because Shaw's is almost always lively from the moment it opens until it closes. That's part of the reason I like it so much. I head for the large table in the back that we always use if the whole squad is going to get together. Everyone is there but Amy when I arrive and the squad greets me with a range of hellos. Gina is here even if she technically isn't a part of the squad and from her behavior I can tell she is by far the drunkest. I slide into the seat right beside her partly because she is my oldest friend and partly because I want to ask her something. 

"Hey Ginaaaa" I sing song in greeting.

"Sup" she slurs back while downing another shot. I smile at her antics glancing over at Rosa who is rolling her eyes at me. 

Remembering why I started talking to her I ask, "Do you know what time Amy said she'd be here at?" Gina froze looking at me with wide eyes and an apologetic expression on her face. 

I sigh. "You forgot to ask her didn't you?" She nods and drowns another shot. This is bad. I know that I definitely was talking about tonight while Amy was in the room and I'm sure the others did too, assuming that she knew about it. Now she probably thought that she was purposefully uninvited or forgotten about. Now that I think about it she did seem a little bit strange all day like something was bothering her so this was probably it. It's just like Gina to completely forget about someone - for a secretary she is really bad at organization. Amy was the only person that I hadn't invited so when I had to leave to investigate a lead I told Gina to invite her assuming that it was an easy job. Apparently it was harder than I thought. It doesn't matter right now though so when she drunkenly tries to apologize I just brush it off. What I need to do right now is get to Amy's house to make sure she's not upset with the mix-up.I'm sure that she's fine but I also want to go just to see her because I have a little bit of a crush on her. I look to Rosa who seems to understand my train of thought. 

"Go. Don't worry about Gina, I'll get her home safe." She says. I just nod in response glad that I've told Rosa about my feelings towards Amy. Rosa is definitely the best friend to go to for advice I muse as I leave the bar, even though she does tease me she doesn't do it publicly and she always knows when I need support. Right now I've been going to her a lot because Amy is dating a guy named Daniel. Daniel is the reason I can't do anything about my feelings for Amy. I know that it would only mess with her thoughts if I told her I liked her and as much as I hate her and Daniel together I don't want to be the guy that ruins her relationship. Besides even if she wasn't dating him I wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship or how well we work together so the safest thing is to just forget about my feelings.

Amy's house is pretty close to the precinct or Shaw's so by the time I'm done with my inner thoughts I am only a few short blocks away. As I am walking by I notice a Chinese restaurant that also does take-out and the combination of my hunger (I didn't eat at Shaw's as I had planned) and wanting to get Amy something makes me go in and pick up some food. After I come back out I hurry to Amy's not wanting the food to get cold. Only as I enter her apartment building do I realize that Amy is probably with her boyfriend because it is a Friday night after all. It doesn't matter though because if there is even the slightest chance that I could spend some time with Amy I'm taking it. Also if she's out I can just pretend I was never there and if she and Daniel are both there I can just pretend that I am dropping some stuff off to apologize and then leave.

Just after I finish crafting my plan the elevator doors ping open and I enter. There's already someone in there, a middle aged women with graying hair. Amy doesn't live too far up, she lives on the sixth floor, but elevators are slow and the awkward silence consumes me as I wait for the doors to open again. After what feels like hours the open with another ping and I make a quick exit before heading down the hallway towards Amy's door. When I reach it my hand hovers over the door, hesitating, as I consider just leaving but I eventually manage to give a few sharp raps before I back up a step and wait.

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[paint-pilot]

shit it’s been a second, guess it’s time to update again

edit: holy christ this is long, i’m gonna readmore it. tl:dr tyler has many badweird feelings but is getting through it. fun body changes, including hair growth and an unexpectedly nice voice. surgery and legal matters are Annoying. tw for menstruation

it is truly bizarre to think that i’ll have been five months on t in a little under two weeks. another month after that and it’s half a year. it’s uhh...weird. quarantine has just made this all feel weird. it’s like i fast-forwarded through this whole journey i was supposed to go on i guess? like i got randomly torn out of my life one day in march with no warning and then just as suddenly got spat out in august with a new life - new name, new face, new major, new identity - and no transitional period whatsoever. my classmates, my professors, my students, they all have only known me as tyler. and only ever will know me as tyler. and that’s great! it’s great, and i’m truly just blown away by how markedly easy it’s been and how weirdly good my timing was in transitioning. but it almost feels like i’m still a ways behind everyone else, i guess. i’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and lying through my teeth, and covering my ass every second of every day to protect myself, and i don’t have to do that anymore but the instinct is 100% still there and that honestly doesn’t feel good. of course i’m not making any of it up - i’m happier now than i’ve ever been, and i know i’m making the right choice - but it still persistently keeps feeling that way.

it’s just difficult, i think, to balance wanting to be read as male (and, to a large extent, wanting to keep my transness hidden both for safety reasons and so people don’t start treating me differently) and finding it difficult to hide this truly massive life change that, like, four people are really seeing anything of. and y’all, i guess, lol. it’s one thing to talk about all this in therapy, but it’s another entirely to just be able to share it with strangers and not worry about it being weird.

i was writing this with the intent of it being a mostly happy update but i guess there is some negativity boiling up so. gotta be honest, i guess? there’s a lot of fun trauma stuff i’ve been going through lately that i won’t get into but it’s culminated with this bullshit in this really fun way where my mom gets upset because i get kind of uncomfortable when she shows me childhood photos or tells stories about me as a little kid and then i just break down for reasons i really can’t discern. i’m going to try and articulate this, and who knows how messy it’s going to get, so i apologize if it gets kind of incoherent from here on out. as far as i can tell the root thing that she really gets upset about is that i’ve “thrown away” my whole previous identity. like, not a direct quote, but “you can’t just pretend [deadname] never existed. because she did, for a long time.” and...sure, i guess. i know this has been hard on my mom. i know she was raised in a conservative family, and while she has worked hard to adopt an accepting and open mindset she still doesn’t 100% grasp all of it and will make mistakes. i’ve made my peace with that. and yet. it’s not so much, really, that i was this other person and then became tyler, y’know? tyler did not appear suddenly two years ago where she once stood. tyler put on a mask, even before he knew he was tyler, because tyler was scared and ashamed but people seemed to like her and, for a time, she was an easy person to be. and i hated her. that is so fucking scary for me to say, and i’m not sure i’ve admitted that until literally right this second, but i did. not because she was a bad person. because she had a voice and a face and a body that i hated. because people saw her and assumed they knew me. because even she had many faces, because there was no real base or identity to her, just traits designed to paint a pretty picture and make people like her. because i knew, when i finally threw her away, people would miss her. compare me to her. expect me to be like her.

so i don’t know. i don’t have a satisfying way to wrap this up, because i honestly don’t know how to face this because i know it is absolutely not just the trans thing that created this situation. i’m kinda warring with myself, because i do kinda want to go back through this blog and delete photos of myself with long hair and whatever (because jesus, i’ve had this thing since i was like 14) but i genuinely don’t know if that’s healthy. i know i’m going back on my bullshit, fretting this way and that over whether something is “healthy” as though that’s an objective term without considering what’s going to make me happy, but honestly? i don’t know anymore. i keep sensing the mental block - the swathes of my childhood that i cannot recall, just vague, constant unease - and i don’t really know if i want to dig into all of that and learn what lies underneath because i’m sort of afraid of it. like i said, i’m happy now, happier than i’ve ever been, and i’d sort of like to just leave it like that. but i guess the length and tone of this post might argue otherwise.

anyways. anyways. enough mental health therapy, more actual hormone therapy updates since that’s what this goddamn thing is supposed to be i think? i’m finally starting to grow some noticeable hairs - my chin hair is coming back after my mom made me shave it before i left for school lol, as are a handful of mustache/lower lip/sideburn hairs. i keep feeling phantom bugs on my legs/feet and i’ve only just now recognized that that’s just leg hairs brushing against places i’m not used to. my appetite has picked up like absolute hell again, too, so i don’t know if i’m just having a metabolic spurt or what. also, i’ve started bruising more? idk what the hell that’s about - i fucking never bruise unless i’ve been hit Hard, and i kind of assumed testosterone would make you less likely to bruise, but then that’s probably just not related to the hormones at all. i was gonna put this in the tags but seeing as this post is already so long i might as well put a readmore and just put this here lol: my period is late, like, four days late, which is exceedingly unusual for me and might mean i’m finally done. or almost done. fingers crossed.

my voice has started to settle, it seems like. i popped out an e2 yesterday, which is Sick, but i’m not as focused on that anymore as i am on the actual quality of my tone. which is...good? i’m not just a baritone, i’m kind of a good one, at least it seems like. i’m really working right now on just getting familiar with my instrument - i’m second-guessing my pitch sensitivity a lot, but i think i really just need to drill and practice until everything starts feeling like second nature again. but since the musical didn’t happen for me, my coach wants to enter me in a classical solo competition next spring. so...no more retirement from competitive singing. i’m back! and thank god, because i’m starting to go crazy without being in musical work lol.

jesus fuck, i have a lot to say. i should probably split this into two posts but i don’t care. i am frustrated; i tried to get an appointment with a pro bono legal program for a name change, but it happened today and i wasn’t invited so apparently i’m on my own. and i’m frustrated. i’m trying to look at internships and shit for next summer, but i kind of can’t apply right now because my legal name and sex don’t line up with my presentation, and i don’t really know how easy it is to get away with that in this day and age and especially in my field. genuinely, if anyone has any advice, i’d appreciate it. i don’t know how long this will take, i don’t know what the requirements are, i don’t know if i’m better off just applying now and hoping they don’t eliminate me before ever getting me an interview. and, of course, i’m working on getting consultations for top surgery, but i keep catching myself procrastinating that. which seems weird, but listen. i’ve said it before but i have to emphasize, i am capital-t Terrified of getting this surgery. i know i need to, i know it will make things better for me, i know now is the time, i know i hate binding and can’t really get away with not doing so, but jesus fuck i am so frightened of anesthesia it’s not even funny. but i guess i’m mostly just calling myself out here and telling myself to quit being a big baby, schedule the thing, and give myself a few months to prepare.

anyway. that’s all i have to say. i’d apologize for ranting, but honestly...i dunno. i know at the start of all this a handful of you requested these updates, and i have to imagine it’s because at least some of you are transitioning, are thinking of doing so, or know someone who is or will be soon. and i just hope someone out there can at least relate, because there honestly just aren’t a lot of comparable life changes out there. or maybe this is just therapeutic for me, that’s fine too.

i have two midterms next week i should be studying for. i should do that.

[vampexx]

I have tried a few times now to write this post but I just couldnt go forward with posting it, thinking its too personal...

But...here it goes...

I have always been a painfully shy, paranoid and self conscious person so being this open is really scary for me to say the least due to my struggles with confidence and self esteem...

And drawing has been something I did for as long as I can remember...and it was something that helped me growing up...

However, ever since high school in 10th grade, I have had almost all my drive and love for drawing drained from me from comparing myself to the other, "better," students in my art class and from my own art teacher who at first, in 9th grade, started as a somewhat positive influence but then the next year being really negative and rude.

I was the student that was told, "youre not done, go back to your seat, keep working," when going to my teacher for advice. When he said this, he would only glance at my work before turning me away. All while the other students received kind, positive and constructive criticism when I did not.

He even addressed me, out loud, in front of the class, regarding my low grade, saying, "the only reason you arent failing my class is because you did your homework last night."

For context: the homework assignment was some drawing exercises...and the reason my grade was low was because, it was towards the end of the year, I had completely given up on myself and my art so I didnt turn in a project. One, because I never cared enough to finish it and two, it was an act of rebellion on my part.

That was the first and only class where I actually had an F-....I didnt even know it was possible to get that low of a grade...but trust me, it is. My math grade was never even that low.

Now, this art class was something you had to submit a portfolio for it to be reviewed so these 2 art teachers could decide if you were accepted into this art program or not. (It was exoensive too, if I remember correctly, it was like $200 per semester, and I did this for 2 years).

And against my own self consciousness, while feeling like I was far less qualified than others, I challenged my self doubt and fear of rejection and tried out anyways...

And a few weeks later, I found out I was accepted. That moment went down as one my top, most proud moments. I was proud of myself for a change.

Only for that to change a couple years later...where the little pride and confidence I had left in not only myself, but my skills in art, just dropped so low.

On top of that, my academic grades while in this art program, were also dropping considerably due to the amount of stress I put myself through trying to meet everyone elses expectations and standards.

My painting and drawing teacher (the nice one, not the rude one) would encourage my love and skill for cartooning, charcoal and shading. My digital art teacher (the one who ended up being so rude to me in the following year), helped me realize my strengths in photoshop and with a tablet. He did praise me a few times, which did help, but it didnt last very long.

My downfall was the art class that I took in 10th grade, with my previous digital art teacher, which was "figure drawing." Basically, it was learning how to draw anatomy and being anatomically correct which I found out very early on, was not my strength....and it was the whole focus of the class for the entire year so I was screwed. My strengths were cartooning and caricatures, not anywhere near anything anatomically correct. I kean, I could draw a skeleton, but when it came to human figures and poses....I dont know why but I had a tough time. So that was the year that things really went downhill fast.

It just took the fun out of drawing and turned it into something that felt too forced.

However, in my experience with this class I learned something about myself that Im actually glad that I did...

Its that art is just a hobby for me. I learned that I hate drawing on demand, in a certain time frame, and drawing what someone else wants me to draw.

I want to draw only on my own terms and at my own pace.

I couldnt see that about myself because I was too concerned with everyone else and their skills in drawing.

A few years after I quit the art program, I really didnt draw all that much aside from little doodles and unfinished sketches on the edges of my homework and class notes. I didnt like anything that I drew anymore.

And when you lose love, drive and interest in something you were once so passionate about....it leaves a gaping hole in you. It makes you feel pointless, like there nothing special about you. Nothing that sets you apart from everyone else. It really is as depressing as it sounds.

I was lost.

However. I FELT FREE. I didnt have a constant reminder from several different people that I wasnt as good. No one to make me feel lesser than someone else. No one to put me down.

As a result, my academic grades improved back to As and Bs (excluding math in the 11th grade, I had like a D).

---

And I realize now that maybe I didnt learn all of this the hard way for no reason. Maybe its to also help someone so they dont have to learn the hard way like I did. Or maybe, its to reach out to those have experienced the same or similar things as me so that they dont feel alone. So that they know that them and their skills are still very much valuable and valid.

Because everyone goes at their own pace, no two people are ever the same.

Anyone can be good at anything.

Now I didnt want this post to discourage anyone from taking or considering an art class. Please understand that my experiences are unique to myself. Art classes are actually very helpful as long as your surrounded by positive and encouraging influences.

Just remember to be careful. Respect yourself and your abilities. Be patient with yourself. Have faith in yourself, dont give up. And last, but not least, know your worth and what you deserve when it comes to treatment.

---

Anyways, so up until a couple of years ago, I slowly started to get back into drawing.

I do love to draw, along with architecture and interior/ fashion design.

Im working to rediscover myself, even though I dont want to do it professionally...

So as I did years ago, I will challenge my self doubt again and try to put myself back out there.

So as anxietal as I am, I want to ask...

Would anyone be interested in seeing something I drew?

Might be an odd question and it might sound attention seeking but Im really just testing the waters....

I will add one little doodle I did the other day just to see....

I know its not that great and thats its nothing amazing but....its something Im proud of...however small it may be.

Im not sure how I feel when it comes to reposting...

I feel like I dont want people to repost it...

In case I ever feel like taking it down...

Idk.

Anyways....Im literally shaking Im so nervous...

But...Im trying to repair some old damage.

Have a miraculous day and thank you for your patience.

Again, please dont repost. At least until Im a little more comfortable.

Thank you

[autorobotcollectorx]

A Problem With The Furby Community

THIS IS A RANT DRAMA AHEAD

This is the only post i will be making on the drama

Hello everyone before i start i want to address a few things here.If you are mentally ill and unable to resolve conflicts in a respectful and understanding manner you have no place or right to be an admin of a group.I hope you get help and become a better person whatever anyone is going threw right now i know you can be well again.You can do it.But that does not give anyone an excuse to be toxic and rude towards others.

I have been accused of being a scammer and its been effecting me so negatively lately especially with sales when people slander my name like this.I have memory issues and i had forgotten i had to pay people i even made a post about it today.How i felt bad that i had lost track of people i owed money too ect.I have paid one person already and i am making sure to get everything to everyone who has either bought a furby from me or i have commissioned.A scammer would not take the time to make sure everyone is happy and paid off mind you.

I had actually commissioned Root(maker of the podge furbys) a year ago and i have been more then patient with them.They disappeared without notice in the middle of the commission as well which was very unprofessional.Yesterday  they suddenly canceled and called me a scammer asking me to not contact them anymore.Instead of talking this out they chose to bring up past grudges on me and not even care to listen to anything i had to say on  the matter..Over this post/vent i had made.

“Hey i wanted to talk about this because its really bothering me.I suffer from schizophrenia and most of the time i forget allot of things even days at times and it effects my sales such as furby sales.I don’t have a job so i have been selling my items so i can afford to feed myself and get my medication and i have found looking threw my messages that i still need to ship items out.I sent those people messages and i can get them shipped this week if i have a ride(i cannot drive).But i am falling into a depression because its just never enough i dont make much and idk what to do.Once i pay people off and get items sent off i will have only $10.I am anxious as well because i need to find someone to drive me out tomorrow to ship items but i dont have many friends.The last thing i want to do is upset people because the furby community have helped me allot its become the biggest thing helping me cope with my medical and physical issues i have been having.If i didn’t have this community i would be at risk physically and i just want to make friends and get these furbs to their new homes.I’m forgetting days at a time and i don’t know i feel like a burden right now“

They responded with this in an email.

““Hello, I am terminating these commission talks for several reasons, but most particularly your recent post to tumblr (included below for your reference). I am not comfortable proceeding with these commission talks when you're in such a vulnerable space financially & otherwise, and I am not sure why you misrepresented your ability to commission my art to me, as I am also a disabled artist with limited personal resources. Between this, your inappropriate demand for my emotional labor at my personal social media, and your past history of scamming (for which I removed you from the Furby community discord server, and only today found out that you are that person), I am uncomfortable engaging with you further. I will not willingly sell to you, and I'm asking you to not contact me again. Sincerely, Root

With the first part they pretend to act like they care about my current financial struggles but then go on to talk about their disabilities like it over rides me essentially putting themselves on a high horse.After they talk about my “inappropriate demand for my emotional labor at my personal social media”Because i sent them something along the lines of  “Hey can i get some advice on something”In which they responded with a paragraph of how they are physically ill/mentally ill and cannot handle others baggage.I found that be be highly unnecessary and inappropriate myself due to how simple of a question i asked of them.They clearly were trying to guilt me for asking a simple question due to their emotional vulnerability at that moment in time.They could have just said “no thank you i am sure someone closer to you can help” I just thought i could use an opinion so that is why i asked for their help.Lastly i have NO past history of scamming i had a bad time with someone over $15 and they forced paypal to refund them the $15 they were owed from me.That is why i got banned from robotchat and all the furby discords and yes this is very unfair to me.Root acknowledges that they still have a grudge on me and i find it to be a very unhealthy mindset to have especially since i have never done anything to them personally.Also i did have the money to pay them for my commission in full even though it was going to leave me with $10 i wanted to support them as an artist regardless of the mistreatment they handed me in the past.

They did get me blocked from the furby discord over slander against me before BY THIS ONE ADMIN and i had forgiven them.I just wanted to support them as an artist but they did not even attempt to try and talk things threw with me and understand my views they really should not have the right to be an admin with this bias.Also it is NEVER OKAY to use your mental or physical illness as an excuse to be toxic like this.

Sometimes i just feel like no one likes me and i get depressed and distressed sofdshrinere just has a personal and very unhealthy hatred for me.I am a pacifist and i try to forgive but i feel like the only one trying most of the time.This community is suppose to be innocent welcoming of everyone and kind but its really turned on me.

It is unfair that i cannot be apart of any discord because they are ALWAYS one of the admins and they have this bias towards me.

Thank you for all the support and i really do hope the best for them i hope they get help for they mental and physical issues.I have gotten help for mines and i am not medicated and in a healthier mindset.Please send good vibes their way for me and PLEASE do not harass them over this i just wanted to make this public and hopefully resolve these issues.

[glassesandkim]

imma just ask this real quick because it's starting to seriously turn me off this fandom but since when have some of ya'll come to the consensus that nico is forever the victim, forever the martyr and any and all fuck ups (past and future) in their relationship is gonna be a fuck up on levi's part? i've seen a post today speculating and it deadass even attributed traits and behaviours that nico has had to levi. avoidance, running from conflict and jumping to conclusion (1/2)

seriously when will some people in this fandom be done villifying levi and/or cutting him no slack whatsoever for his mistakes even though it's his first serious relationship? this fandom has this tendency of not only ignoring nico's problematic behaviours but whenever someone criticizes him it's automatically hate. (2/2)

((((Some of you who send me asks will know that I don’t answer every ask, even prompts. Why? Because sometimes I don’t know what to say or don’t think what I’m going to say addresses the ask well. So anon, I’ve answered your ask below but I realized I totally went on a tangent and maybe your ask actually isn’t talking about what I ended up talking about. Oops! But I think what I said below might be important to some of you so I’ll publish my answer anyway. ))))

Hi there! Thanks for your message. I see it and I acknowledge it and I can understand where you’re coming from. I just haven’t seen the post you’re referencing today or even lately (or maybe I have and I didn’t associate it as a post that’s putting Levi in a bad light). And I can’t speak on behalf of others in the fandom, only myself. 

Going forward, I’ve said in an ask from the past that you can definitely be critical of a character and still be a fan of them. You can also be critical of a show and still be a fan of it. Nothing’s perfect. I don’t think Grey’s or anyone has the capacity to produce a “perfect” character or show anyway. Someone will always be disappointed. And I think it’s good and important to be critical and aware of the problems a show/character/person might have so that others can understand and be aware of it too. 

So being critical =/= hate. I hope y’all know that and respect that. (There’s also this whole other thing about being constructively critical and appropriately critical but I’m not going to get into that lol.)

Idk, I got an ask a few weeks ago asking if I hate Levi and I felt like it came out of no where. I can only assume something I said about Levi was lost in translation. It felt like it came out of no where because I hardly really talk about Levi’s character on this blog or directly call him out on anything. Because I definitely project more of my ideas onto Nico’s character because of a variety of reasons (he’s not been as developed as a character compared to Levi, he’s Asian - I’m Asian, etc.). But I have also criticized his character in the past for how he reacted in the elevator and others have chimed in with their own opinions on why he would react like that. And that’s fine. It’s why I participate in fandom. I like to know what people think. I don’t always agree but it’s interesting. 

This might sound dismissive and harsh and you might not agree with me, but I often think to myself that this is just a tv show. Yes, I have been very outspoken about Nico’s character in the past and yes, I am emotionally invested in this show and have gotten emotional/worked up over something that has happened. But I also take the time to remind myself that this is just that: a show. Doesn’t mean it can’t be important to me but it’s NOT okay if it’s causing me grief or putting me in an unhealthy state of mind. 

I’ve seen some of you in the fandom and on this site in general (and I’ve been on this site since I was 19 and I’m 27 now) being disappointed/sad/angry at things happening in fandom. That’s okay. But it’s also not great. You know what I mean? It’s okay that you feel this way but it’s maybe not so great, for example, if your mood or well-being becomes dependent on schmico’s fate. 

I don’t want to give you guys advice on how to handle that because we all do things our own way. But please, take care of yourself first. You are more important than what’s happening on a tv show or in a fandom. 

[petitesimss]

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by the beautiful @timouke to do this challenge so here we go I guess?!

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions! :)

My Traits: Clumsy, Goofball, and Genius 

(According to other people, I swear I didn't label myself as a genius! xD)

Really quick I would like to go ahead and tag of my FAV simblrs: @mmfinds @stardustsim @blushchat @brindletonsims @mochieo @awsimmer92 @fussysim @simplistic-sims4 @tainoodles and also anyone who wants to do it!

1. What is your full name? Megan :)

2. What is your nickname? Meg (Omg so basic)

3. When is your birthday? October 7th

4. Favorite book series? ‘ARRY POTTER!

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Uhm not aliens but I think some form of ghosts exist. Not necessarily the scary ones xD

6. Favorite author? John Green

7. Favorite Radio Station? I don’t listen to the radio oof

8. What is your favorite flavor of everything? Chocolate or Strawberry!! Mmmm

9. What word will you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing or just a *gasp* noise

10. What is your current favorite song? Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran

11. Favorite word? oof

12. What was the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Pentatonix’s cover of Hallelujah

13. What TV show do you recommend? I am currently obsessed with Vampire Diaries

14. Favorite movie to watch when you’re upset? Omg this is weird but those classic like 2005 Barbie movies always cheer me up

15. Do you play video games? Not really other than sims ofc :P

16. Biggest Fear? Dark Bathrooms (especially the mirrors, its a long story)

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drive to work hard or maybe just my general compassion for everyone

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? LAZINESS

19. Cats or dogs? CATS I HAVE THREE

20. Favorite season? Fall because of sweaters and moderately cool weather

21. Are you in a relationship? Oui!

22. Something you miss from your childhood? Barbie Movies

23. Best friend? My boyfriend xD

24. Eye color? Chocolate brown

25. Hair color? Dark brown, black at the roots

26. Who is someone you love? My mother xD

27. Who is someone you trust? My mother

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend (These answers are so basic oof)

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? IM SEEING THE CRIMES OF GRINDLEWALD TOMORROW

30. Biggest obsession? Cats

31. Favorite TV show as a kid? Probably I-Carly or Hannah Montana

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My boyfriend

33. Are you superstitious? Unintentionally yes

34. Any unusual phobias? Dark bathrooms xD

35. In front of the camera or behind it? Both

36. Favorite Hobby? Sims eek

37. Last book your read? Idk why but I stopped reading and so I have no idea

38. Last movie you watched? Not all of it but some of Pitch Perfect (I’ve already seen the whole thing don't worry)

39. Play an instrument? My voice and also a bit of the keyboard

40. Favorite Animal? Cat.

41. Top five tumblr blogs you follow? ALL OF THEM DANG IT

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Flight!

43. Where and when do you feel the most at peace? At home, sleeping in my bed

44. What makes you smile? Literally life

45. What sports do you play, if any? I’ve been in dance for 13 years

46. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola

47. Last time you wrote a handwritten note or letter to someone? This week actually!

48. Afraid of heights? DUH

49. Biggest pet peeve? SLOW WALKERS JUST WALK PLEASE

50. Ever been to a concert? Yep and I’ve been in several local ones

51. Vegan or Vegetarian? Heck no 

52. What did you want to be when you were little? A pop star xD

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Just. Hogwarts. Always.

54. What is something you worry about? If I am actually liked by people

55. Scared of the dark? Only in bathrooms dude

56. Do you like to sing? YES (Soprano 1 - Mezzo)

57. Ever skipped school? Nope, I’m a good bean

58. Favorite place on the planet? Bed.

59. Where would you like to live? New York or Paris

60. Have any pets? 3 cats (Bella, Possum, and Ty) and also a fish whose name I don't remember

61. Early bird or Night owl? NIGHT OWL

62. Sunrises or Sunsets? I’m gonna go with sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? I should but I don't xD

64. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds but not the ones you get with an iPhone, those suck!

65. Ever had braces? Three years I think total, and I just had to get a 6 week retainer set to close a small gap that came back :(

66. Favorite genre of music? Pop I guess xD Or musical theater!

67. Who is your hero? My stepdad

68. Do you read comic books? No but my stepdad did xD

69. What makes you the most angry? When people make jokes about things like cancer or diabetes (THEY ARENT FUNNY)

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Definitely a real book, My eyes don't hurt as much plus they smellll soooo goooodd

71. Favorite Subject? English or Science

72. Any siblings? So this is complicated but I have one half brother, a half-step brother, and a half-step sister

73. The last thing you bought? I bought a journal and some bath salts for my friend’s birthday

74. How tall are you? So I used to be 5′2 but every time I go to the doctor they measure me at like 5′1 and I am confusion

75. Can you cook? Yes but I prefer baking

76. Three things you love? My family, my friends, and food (Omg I typed foot at first EEK)

77. Three things you hate? I LITERALLY DONT HATE ANYTHING IM SORRY

78. Do you have more female friends or male friends? Female oof

79. Sexual orientation? Straight But why did you need to know??

80. Where do you currently live? Louisiana OOOF

81. Last person you texted? My boyfriend, specifically “hehehe yess”

82. Last time you cried? Watching “A Walk to Remember” a few weeks ago

83. Favorite youtuber? All of them, rip

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes but only because I don't like the pictures other people take of me xD

85. Favorite app? BUZZFEED or maybe netflix

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I love my mom and we are close but me and my biological dad don't talk

87. Favorite foreign accent? FRENCH OR BRITISH

88. Place you’ve never been to but want to visit? Hawaii or Paris

89. Favorite number? 2 but also literally any even number

90. Can you juggle? Who on here can actually juggle cause I want to be your best friend please (so no)

91. Are you religious? I’m supposed to be catholic but I haven't been to church in a while

92. Is outer space or the deep ocean more interesting? The deep ocean because I want to be a mermaid

93. Do you consider yourself a daredevil? No I am the opposite oof

94. Are you allergic to anything? Cats and dogs, pollen, grass, apparently something in the meningitis vaccine (ITS A LONG STORY)

95. Can you curl your tongue? YOU BET I CAN

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No but I can shake my eyes

97. How often do you admit that you’re wrong about something? I am never wrong, ever.

98. The forest or the beach? The beach cause mermaids

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given to you? Do what you love, don’t work for money.

100. Are you a good liar? I am a TERRIBLE liar

101. Hogwarts house? Gryffindor but my hybrid house is Gryffinpuff soooo...

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to tbh but now I usually just sing to myself

103. Introvert of Extrovert? Extrovert but I love me time

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No I just deal with my thoughts

105. Do you believe in second chances? Absolutely

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Look for identification in it so I can return it to it’s owner

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Of course!

108 Are you ticklish? VERY

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes, I was on one last weekend

110. Any piercings? Only my basic ear piercings

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Ronald Weasley

112. Any tattoos? No but I wanna get a few small ones later in life

113. Best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Care for others is far more rewarding than wallowing in sadness

114. Do you believe in karma? It depends, really

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I used to wear glasses but since one of my eyes is near sighted and the other is far sighted they balance each other out enough so that I don’t necessarily need them anymore

116. Do you want children? YES LIKE 3-5

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My stepdad

118. Most embarrassing moment? That time I asked my bestfriend at the time’s sister if I could wear a pad on a water slide (IT WAS MY FIRST PERIOD OKAY?)

119. Ever pulled an all-nighter? I’ve made it to 6 am xD

120. What color are most of your clothes? Yellow or pink :P

121. Do you like adventures? PLANNED adventures, yes

122. Ever been on tv? A few times

123. How old are you? 16

124. Favorite quote? But without the dark, we’d never see the stars

125. Sweet or savory foods? SWEEETTT

OML THIS TOOK FOREVER RIP

[franeridart]

I just found your profile and I love your style so much!

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!

Anon said:From kami's-hair-is-hard-to-doodle anon from a while back: I finally got it! Thank you so much for your advice - reading and rereading your tips kept me practicing! I'd also like to thank the Academy /orz

I’m glad it could help you at all!!!! :O Kami keeps on being a mystery to me (and Horikoshi himself ???) too so don’t get too down on yourself for it taking time haha

Anon said:Ive sent you a couple of asks before but Im just so in love with the content you produce. Like not only is your art style so cute and stuff, but the plot/story (Idk) of each post is just so original and adorable. Im just so blown away by everything you post. Thank you for sharing your art!!!! Have a good week!!

Anon said:Hi! I’m new to your blog but love your art, I think your very talented which is why I’d like to ask a question. Do you have any advice for posing? I noticed your very good at it and wondered if you have any tips. If you do answer this, Thank you!!

Firstly, thank you so much for the compliments!!! I don’t know how useful exactly any advice I could give you will be, since most of it comes from drawing a lot and watching drawings even more, but in general to pick a pose usually what I do is think of the scene as if in movement? As in, what the characters are doing, and how they’d move if I were looking at them while doing it - keeping in mind the characters personalities helps me with this a lot too. 

Take for example the confessions drawings I’ve posted a couple of days ago: it’s true that there’s no words nor movement anywhere in them, but as I drew them I had a pretty clear idea of what they were saying and how the characters would react in those situations - Jirou’s shy and easily flustered, so she’s averting her eyes, unable to keep eye contact, and closing in on herself a bit, hiding her face and so on; in the concept, Kaminari was the one who confessed, so he’s holding her hand, tentative, because he’s unsure about how she’s gonna answer (it’s all stuff that didn’t actually make it in the drawing, how he reached for her hand, how he’s gonna close his other hand around her knuckles, but in my head it was a complete scene and I just picked one frame of it all to draw). The same goes for Bakugou and Kirishima - they’re rowdier, louder, more assertive and inclined to take everything as a fight, so this time around I went for a scene in which Bakugou straight out yells his feelings at Kirishima and Kirishima answers me too (again, I had the before and after in my head too, I just picked the frame that best coveyed what I was trying to do)

As I said I’m usure about how much this might help you orz it’s just my way of doing things, and it mostly comes from the fact that I was originally a writer honestly, so thinking of a whole scene makes things easier for me #rip

Anon said:Can I say, I really like the colors for your confession pictures! :>

THANK YOU??????? H E C K ;O; 

Anon said:hi~ i just went through literally everything in your sketches tag and i just wanna say i love your art and your comics and stuff. also because i went through everything, i want to bring attention to how cool it is to see how much your style has changed! your lines seem more confident and your characters more dynamic in the last few years :D

HECK THANK YOU SO MUCH it’s always so damn nice to know people can see my stuff getting even just slightly better oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn *sob*

Anon said:can we repost your art if we give like 100% credit

Nope, sorry, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that

Anon said:those "confessions" must be the lewdest thing I've ever seen

why would you use that word tho

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that I love your art and it always makes me a little happier when you post something! No matter if it's your comics or colored pics or "simple" doodles, I love all of them! (Though soft stuff is the best, hehe) I just hope you know that you're very appreciated, and I hope you only have wonderful days!

GODS THANK YOU SO MUCH I’m so so so happy I can make you a lil happier ;0; I hope you’ll have every possible wonderful day too, anon!!

Anon said:I just spent the last few hours of my Sunday going though your entire blog. It’s beautiful and I hope you know that you have ruined my life because of that beauty. God damn it.

That wasn’t the intention but I’m!!!!!!!!! glad you think so???????? sob oh my g od you all are too nice to me ;^;

Anon said:Tododeku?

It sure is a ship, isn’t it - I’ve drawn for it in the past, I most probably will again in the future! :D

Anon said:you're honestly one of my fav artists on here! i love your style it feels so unique and is so pleasing to look at (((:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M CRYING THANK YOU

Anon said:Your art has this unique quality about it... its really hard to describe but there’s something so dynamic and god damn pretty about your work. It’s fantastic and you inspire me to keep on creating! I hope your day is absolutely wonderful and thank you for blessing us with your art!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so glad I can make you want to create stuff, anon!!!!!! that’s the best thing anyone can ever tell me, oh my god ;^; thank you so much !!!

Anon said:I love it when you draw cuddly bakugou!! Its wonderful!!

THAT’S!!!! super great to hear cause I could probably draw only that for the foreseeable future and not mind it one bit holy smoke

Anon said:THE HUG COMICS ARE THE BEST COMICS, I LOVE HUGS AND BAKUGOU BEING PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE IS SOMETHING I LOVE, A++++, WOULD RECOMMEND.

HONESTLY BAKUGOU NEEDS ALL THE HUGS AND IF I MUST BE THE ONE TO GIVE THEM ALL TO HIM THEN SO BE IT

Anon said:all ur comics are fucking delightful and make my day everytime. i ve read them all like too many times? i read each multiple times in a row and im still giddy? i love them i love u

I!!!!!!! LOVE YOU TOO???? HOLY SHIT THANK YOU

Anon said:*sigh* soft-phisical contact lover bakugou save my week. And kiri is the most wonderfull sunshine and no one cant discuss that *sit down in the floor and manly crying*

Kiri is the brightest sunshine isn’t he ;^; the sun to Bakugou’s moon, it makes me weak and I cry a lot

Anon said:I never knew I could be so weak for kiribaku omg fran what have you done to me, on that note what little things do you think theyd do to take care of each other? Like kinda lowkey stuff theyd quietly do? Ahh anyway thank you so much for all the wonderful drawings, hope everything is going well for you :)

Well, this is just the feeling I got, but I’d say they do plenty for each other quietly and softly in canon too, don’t they? Bakugou especially, pointing out to Kirishima his strength when he can’t see it for himself and always trying to find a way to cheer him up when he’s down and giving him space when he needs it, training together, studying together, worrying over one another, Kiri making sure to always know what’s up with Bakugou and following him to help him, just generally being there for each other so that if and when they need they’ll know they’ll have someone they can lean on - their relationship is really mutually supportive, isn’t it? I cry so much they make me so happy ;^; *sob*

Anon said:When season 3 comes out wouldnt it be fun if krbk fans filmed their ch.90 being animated reactions?? I think it'd be so cool/cute to see all the emotions! What do you think?

You know, I’m pretty sure that IS gonna happen? People make reaction videos for so many things! It’s nice and fun, honestly, I love it~

Anon said:I really love the way you draw spiky hair! It looks so floofy and soft.

Boi thank you!!!! Spikes are super nice to draw, though admittedly I make them less spiky then they’re probably supposed to be haha

Anon said:As someone who adores Sero Hanta And is a die hard krbk fan can I just say how much I love you? Like I was having a rough-ish day and I can’t stop smiling now because of your latest comic. Seriously, I love you and your art is everything.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THAT ONE!!!!!!!! I adore Sero if I had any better clue how to draw him I’d draw him all the time always, true story, he’s such a fave ;^;

Anon said:OMG Fran!!! I want Bakugou's name tattooed on all their faces now!! Hahahaha!

You know, one of my first krbk fanarts was Bakugou writing his name on Kirishima’s forehead, actually....................