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#idk if i could pinpoint the specific ways in which the vibe has changed but it DEFINITELY has
desert-anne · 2 years
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kind of fascinating what seven years of unfettered internet access has done to the splatoon fanbase
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thestarssystem · 4 years
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hello! same anon who asked the last question about being able to send an ask! i've been having questions about whether or not i could be an osdd system (1b to be specific) but i can't find answers to sone questions so i was hoping you could help me out? it's really long, sorry:(
1. the thing i have the most issues with is alters fronting. i don't exactly know how it feels to have another alter fronting and taking control of the body. there's only been a few times where i've genuinely felt like i wasn't in control of my body & felt trapped in it but other than that, whenever all my other alters(?) fronted i would still generally be able to control the body. i don't know how to explain it. for example, an alter who i think is a protector was fronting last night but besides the name and some traits, everything was pretty much still the same, like as if i was the protector? and i'm not the most knowledgeable on how osdd works, but should i be feeling atleast somewhat out of my control ?? it's happened pretty much every time an alter(?) has fronted(?) and i ended up in a really bad mood after trying to validate the possibility i might have osdd because i didn't know if this was real or if i was just being delusional. and this is kinda a silly question but when another alter fronts, thinking is still the same, right? like they can still talk in their head like a singlet would and such
2. 'voices' in your head - a lot of systems i've come across generally have the voices. i don't, atleast i don't think i do. again, i don't know how it would be if i experienced it. is it like how someone would talk to you irl? or is it more vague? or is it like, more of a feeling that you can't really 'hear' but yk it's saying that?
3. i can't exactly communicate with my alters, if i have any. i don't know how to and even then it feels really odd trying to talk to myself and again, i start to feel dumb/delusional again because osdd may not even be the case.
4. similar to the last thing, is it normal to 'talk' to your system? like last night for example, it's a blurry memory now but i remember 'we're going to bed now' 'we're gonna do this and then sleep' and such, despite the fact i know we can't really communicate. i think another alter was fronting then
4. i have trouble recognizing my alters as seperate identities and people, and rather tend to think they're pieces of me. so like, if another alter were to do something, and later i fronted, and if i would talk about what the other alter did i would still use "i did" rather than "(other alter) did". i'd just like some advice on this part
5. i have no idea whether or not systems i've met have 'different talents' but i've seen it going around a lot. to be more specific, my 'talents' or other stuff has never really changed. i usually still have social anxiety, my triggers are usually still the same, i've never suddenly gotten good at anything, and so on. is it a normal/common thing for systems for that not to happen?
6. memory. i have really bad memory, which actually led me to did/osdd (+ 8/9 year old me going "why do i feel like two people" and googling it years ago), and i always have trouble recalling what happened. after i do anything and i try to think back to it - it's just foggy. i can sometimes remember a bit of what happened, but generally i'll have to think for a bit and the visual memory of it will just be really really blurry. this happens pretty much every day but i have no idea if it does the same with important events because nothing important has really happened. and another thing - when you switch, do you still remember friends/online friends/family? i've had times where they've seemed odd(?) and somewhat unrecognizable but i've always known it's them, same with trauma and other stuff. i've always kinda known about it.
7. i've tested some things multiple times. for example, a few days or weeks ago, i was doing and typing stuff on discord in a server just for me, for fun. when i went away and checked back later, i know that it was me who did it, just not,, me, yk? like it happened with my own fingers and hands, i didn't have exact visual memories that i did it, but i had memory of doing it, so like, i knew, despite the fact another alter could've been the one doing it. same thing happened last night - now that i look back at the account i, or my alter, created, i can tell it wasn't exactly 'me', but i still had memory doing it. and it's never been like "what is this? i have zero memory of doing this" or something like that
8. i don't really have roles for my alters. well, some do. for example i think a protector (and maybe caretaker as well) was fronting last night. i just have trouble with the roles? if that makes sense. unless it comes naturally, like the protector for example, it's just kinda really hard for me to make stuff out. i also have dpdr & i dissociate and i believe that influences on how i view my identity and how i can't really make out stuff, even stuff like emotions, my opinion on something, who's fronting, etc.
9. as far as i know, systems have an 'inner world', right? i know some systems that don't, but i'm not sure if i have it and i dont know how to find out if i do
to add on, i'm kinda worried i might just be thinking i have osdd because i've been exposed(?) to it and that i might just be delusional and that i'm just making people up
lastly, would it be a good idea to try to reach out to alters? and if i should, how would i do so? thank you :D !! again, i'm really really sorry this was so long! don't stress yourself out on this please:]
- fox
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained mental health professionals! All of the information we give is coming from our own experience as a system, or from research we have done! We always recommend that, if at all possible, you speak to a therapist about OSDD/DID!
hello! thanks for you questions! i’ll do my best to answer everything haha. I’m going to section everything off in the same way you did, but there may be some overlap between questions!
1.)I’m gonna start my answer to this by saying that switching feels and looks different for every system. There is no one way to switch. What happens for us when we fully switch is the obvious dissociative feeling, and then it feels like we’re “falling” almost and then after that falling feeling, we’ve switched. With your experience you’re describing, though, it seems more like co-conscious or co-fronting. Co-conscious is typically a feeling like you’re still in full control of the body, but another alter is in the ‘passenger seat of the car’ and is giving their thoughts on what’s happening on the outside. Co-fronting is more of a feeling where you feeling like you’re half in control of your body, and another alter has half control of your body. This can be a moment (that i’ve vaguely described on my tumblr actually) of feeling like “this isn’t my hand. I’m not controlling that arm.” However, that feeling can also happen with depersonalization. To help you tell the difference, i think it could be helpful to journal when/if you get those feelings and if you “feel” different, like you could actually be another alter. —/ part b.) for my system at least, thinking is still the same, regardless of who’s fronting. I’m not sure if that’s the same for other systems, but i’ve never heard or seen anyone talking about thinking being any different, but i have heard systems discussing something i’ll address in #2
2.) so, in my experience, my system does not audibly hear each other’s voices. Some systems do, and some systems have a different form of communication. Since i can’t talk about audible voices, i’ll only talk about ‘intrusive thought’ communication, which is what we experience. For my system, we get an intrusive thought of sorts. It’s just a thought, but we can tell who it’s coming from (honestly not really sure how, it’s just a feeling. I can always tell who is telling me something) That thought is different from normal thinking though, because it doesn’t feel like it’s coming from us and it has a different... vibe?? idk i honestly can’t really think of how to explain it lmaoo. To continue my answer from part 1, alters can use something called “passive influence” which is where they ‘control’ your thoughts to get what they want. An easy example is if someone asks what you (the fronting alter) want to drink and you want to answer water, but another alter wants sprite, they can use passive influence to say that YOU want sprite, when really you don’t. That’s the only way I can really think of the act of thinking being different though haha.
3.) my system doesn’t really have the best internal communication, but that’s the case for a lot of systems, especially new ones. It takes time and determination. One of the ways i’ve seen suggested to help with internal communication is before you go to sleep, when you’re in the calm and peaceful state, just ask into your head if anyone is there and wants to talk to you. Let them knower they’re safe and that you want to talk. Keep the convo friendly and ask them about themselves (i.e their name, age, role {if they have one}, favorite color, etc)
4.) to be completely honest, it’ll just take practice to change your habit of using “i did.” I don’t know how old you are, but you went your entire life up until this point believing you were a singlet. Using “i did” is still natural for you to use as a default. Try to catch yourself as (or after) you say “i did” and try to correct yourself and overtime that habit will hopefully be broken. The same goes for not really recognizing your alters. You went your whole life thinking everything was just ‘you’ (the host) so now, when discussing OSDD, it might be hard to really pinpoint who is who. That’ll just take time though. But don’t force your alters to fit a specific mold you made for them. Everything with figure itself out eventually
5.) what you described (with different talents and different mental health issues) doesn’t happen to my system and i believe it doesn’t happen to a good portion of systems, especially OSDD systems. The only thing that really changes for my system from alter to alter is preferences, such as food, instruments (my system knows how to play 8 instruments and each alter prefers one over the other lmao), and hobbies (like reading, painting, and writing) HOWEVER, we all still can paint and play all 8 of our instruments with the same skill. Our skill level doesn’t change between alter, just our desire to do that activity (if that makes any sense lmao)
6.) problems with memory and forgetting things is not a sign of OSDD-1b. Dissociative amnesia is only a sign of OSDD-1a and DID. I think it might be helpful to keep track of your switches and see if your memory “fog” overlaps with it. If yes, then you should probably consider check out OSDD-1a or DID. If it doesn’t, my honest suggestion is to consider talking to a doctor/therapist about memory problems and short term memory loss. (also to answer your question asking if we remember online friends: yes, we always remember other people, regardless of who’s fronting)
7.) this relates back to the memory question. OSDD-1b is not characterized by forgetfulness or memory problems. With OSDD-1b, you will never have that moment of “I don’t remember doing this” unless there is a VERY specific reason (i.e. a traumatic event that needs to be hidden) It is normal, on the other hand, to know that another alter did something, rather than you, and still have memory of it.
8.) i think roles are difficult for a lot of systems. I know my system had (and still has) a little bit of trouble with roles. My biggest advice is actually something i’m following rn and that’s to not force roles. Let alters naturally choose their roles. It may take a really long time though, but that’s okay. It might help to do some research as well. Google all the different alter types and see if you can pinpoint some that fit your system (like i said though, don’t forget those roles! let them have the ultimate decision)
9.) My system doesn’t have an inner world. We have something called Aphantasia which makes it impossible to see images in our head. There are systems who don’t have an inner world, however i don’t know if there is a specific reason or not. Ive heard that meditating can help you access the inner world, as well as, once again, trying to access it before you fall asleep. However, because I can’t have an inner world, i haven’t done much research on the topic and I suggest that you try and find a method that works for you :)
closing points: When considering any type of mental health problem/ mental disorder, make sure you’re not bending the diagnostic criteria to fit you. With OSDD, there are slight differences between every system, but nothing major that would require serious bending of the criteria. At the very end, you asked if you should try and reach out to your alters. You DEFINITELY should. They’re scared and confused, just like you. I think my answer for 3.) gives a good, easy starting point for alter communication c:
I hope these answers helped, at least a little. Good luck and stay safe xx
-the stars system (written by multiple alters all at different times)
~sorry if there’s any typos~
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Mattie & Lulu & Dolly (mostly)
PlanityPlan: Okay, so we wanna get down what Mattie, Lulu and Dolly are like, that’s the main point
PlanityPlan: but then we wanna pinpoint the time of this reunion for their storyline together, so we can then say what Jay is up to, Beckett not really ‘cos he’s a child but we could also say what we wanna do with you eventually here because we are planning to use him but yes, kind of unrelated but not
PlanityPlan: So it’s like, individual story, what they’re like, the lives they’re living, and then the storyline we’ll do with them together
PlanityPlan: OKAY so Mattie doing an accelerated 2-year Maths and Computer Science degree at Greenwich (57, 58) and then her PGCE which takes a year and in this year you do 2 school placements, 2nd placement at the girl's new school after gay teacher drama in Surval, so this 2nd meeting after first failed attempt at contact, in 59
PlanityPlan: Basically, energy being, making contact before starting Uni and the twins are like nah and then we show up at their new school (accidentally) and the twins relationship has suffered so now we have an in
PlanityPlan: OKAY OKAY so Mattie reaches out Summer 57, she's about to start Uni, the twins are 14 and just finished year 10, 58 teacher stuff to happen and come out year 11, 59 we move to new school year 12, Mattie starts placement too
Junie B Jones: The school I found for the twins is called Surval Montreux in Montreux Switzerland and they’d have been going there from age 12 (and leaving at 19) it’s obviously an international school but there’s a heavy focus on French in lessons as obviously because English is usually a 2nd language, but don’t even worry ladies cos there is only a maximum of 10 girls (cos it’s only gals) in your classes and 60 in the entire school
Junie B Jones: worth noting the finishing school bit from 17-19 cos your mother would love that for you and you can share a room no problem as it’s usually 2 or 3 anyways
PlanityPlan: So, do we be evil and say they have to share with another poor gal?
PlanityPlan: ‘cos we could run with that
Junie B Jones: that poor girl requesting a transfer cos they are so odd hahaha but yeah I say there’s potential there even if it was only for a while like maybe it’s lowkey a version of how they put me and Trace in separate classes cos the teachers are like UM
PlanityPlan: I see that, forcing you to stay involved, ‘cos with 60 people you’d have to be all up in each other’s business, like you’re for sure meant to see the teachers as friends/fam too
Junie B Jones: the website was very culty and that energy
PlanityPlan: which brings me to my first idea ‘cos I think it works on many levels beyond being a cliche
PlanityPlan: Okay so, I thought it’d be interesting to have a secret between them ‘cos how hard it’d be to keep
PlanityPlan: and then I thought that it’d be hilarious karma if Dolly had an affair with a female teacher but we actually let it go there
PlanityPlan: ‘cos it’d be a massive scandal even your parents can’t ignore and the girl gives off some gay vibes and it’d be like, a thing they can’t share in if Lulu isn’t gay like we share a boyfriend but we’re not sharing this teacher moment
PlanityPlan: and it’d probably get you both kicked out so we can time it when we want it and Chloe would be fuming about this lesbianism lmao
PlanityPlan: so with the whole culty school like this would be NEWS ‘cos they’re tight with the teachers clearly so it’s like ARE THEY ALL BEING GROOMED lmao
Junie B Jones: Lulu gives off the straightest vibes EVER so I am down & also the vibe that she would love that culty school
PlanityPlan: right so not only have you kept a love affair and gay from me, you’ve also ruined our school moment, it’d really shake them and their weird twin energy to it’s core, which is the fun of it all obvs
Junie B Jones: I see now why you agreed to share a boyfriend hun, also the potential for her to have a gay awakening with the roommate so hitting all those cliches
PlanityPlan: right, I’m not being gross but it’s true that all-girls school girls experiment together, facts, like Lulu probably joined it with it too but it’s like oh you actually like girls for real
PlanityPlan: but if Dolly isn’t just then living her best gay life and is trying to get shit back to how it was, I think it makes it different
Junie B Jones: the tea and also it seems like the kind of school where a teacher would go there, especially if it’s a younger/artsy one like that film Cracks that Imogen Poots was in, soz Nancy but most teachers won’t
PlanityPlan: it’s a cliche with posh schools for a reason, the bond is closer by the fact there’s not 30 kids in a classroom, there’s more opportunity for it to happen because you have actual relationships with all your teachers, whereas in normal schools they barely know your name lol
Junie B Jones: gross but necessary question being how long do you see the relationship spanning in secret before the big reveal
PlanityPlan: it should probably be somewhere between enough that it’s an actual thing that happened and not like, it happened once, like the teacher probably thinks they’re gonna be together if she doesn’t go to jail lol, but not so long that it is like, how’d you not know
PlanityPlan: it’ll be fun to like, play out, see how long we feasibly could
PlanityPlan: and if Lulu finds out before EVERYONE finds out, then she has to decide what to do with this info for a bit too, which would also be good
Junie B Jones: I love that because the twin vibe is very much like oh we can read each other’s minds haha bitch you thought
Junie B Jones: totally can picture Lulu snitching on you ngl gal
PlanityPlan: accidentally fucking yourself over when they kick the lot of yas out, a mood
PlanityPlan: NEW CO-ED SCHOOL IN SURREY, STILL BOARDING
PlanityPlan: maybe Lulu does care more about school in general, but also specifically that school and being one of the girls forever
PlanityPlan: ‘cos then it’s gonna be hard to win her back when you end up in another school, with boys dundundun
Junie B Jones: she very much comes across like that to me, not only because she’s clearly the clingy controlling twin here but I think she clearly likes how small and family like this school is trying to be cos of how chaotic and lacking their home life is, she’s definitely scared of boys & navigating socialising with them without making a tit of herself because of how little dealings she’s had so it’s gonna be a SHOCK
Junie B Jones: dobbing her sister in because 1. You think the teacher will get sacked and it’ll be over 2. You think you can score some points back and stay in the school’s good books
PlanityPlan: It’s honestly sad how much sense it makes, like you really buy all in with the family vibes and then ya twin fucks it all up, rude
Junie B Jones: okay idk how plausible this is but remember in Wild Child aka the greatest film of all time that boy is like the headteacher’s son, what if the boyfriend (Danny Griffin is his IRL name but I’ll give you a french af one in character boy) they share is like the son of someone who works at the school (obvs he doesn’t go there but like he’d have to live nearby and generally loiter) which is part of the reason Lulu picks him cos all the girls would want to but also she could tell him something about this and he’s like UM you have to dob her in
PlanityPlan: I see that, they can’t all be spinsters like this is an enid, they’d have families and stuff, I can vibe it because again, a thing if there’s any male in the vicinity we all lose our minds lol
Junie B Jones: and like obvs that’s why she got with him but there’s potential for an actual relationship to form with this boy on some level if we want
PlanityPlan: Yes, maybe you actually like him, because clearly Dolly doesn’t, have him to yourself hun, but also then you’ll have to move so rude
PlanityPlan: Another reason to be fuming when you were the clingy twin before, role reversal
Junie B Jones: and another reason to not want to leave because I can’t imagine that your parents will move you to another school in Switzerland because it’s tiny and the scandal so literally in a different country
PlanityPlan: yeah, we’d probably move you to the uk like we’re going to be more involved like doubt that lads but you know
Junie B Jones: my thoughts exactly
PlanityPlan: so the question is do we want to do this before Mattie gets in contact or after
PlanityPlan: I’m leaning towards before so then 1. You’ve got a chance of getting in but 2. You can also help or not help them get on better terms, whatever we vibe
Junie B Jones: maybe when she first gets in contact it’s a secret still so we get the best of the both worlds, cos like you’re gonna get stonewalled then hun but when it all pops off you can be there
Junie B Jones: just cos I’m thinking if it’s all happened by the time they’re 16 that’s slightly drama but then again we’ve done worse lol
PlanityPlan: That’s a good idea, it makes the most of it for sure
PlanityPlan: I’m not sure what the age of consent is but that might affect how in deep shit this teacher gets
Junie B Jones: it’d be a way to show how their dynamic and relationship changes from a POV that isn’t just their own
PlanityPlan: for sure and then we can have the outcome be not just down to their new school and their parentals
Junie B Jones: poor Mattie getting way more drama than she expected
Junie B Jones: are you having her go to a UK uni because obviously relevant because this isn’t getting resolved in a summer hol
PlanityPlan: I’m kind of vibing no uni, honestly
PlanityPlan: because a lot of gen 4 do go and it isn’t the only option
Junie B Jones: love that for her tbh
PlanityPlan: So yeah, you’ll be around for sure
Junie B Jones: do you have a job/career in mind yet?
PlanityPlan: not really, like I see you being a bit lost in that sense, which is fine because you’ve got a lot in other respects and you’re looked after, but it’s definitely a vibe of not knowing what you want to do, but not just doing uni ‘cos as most people in that situ do, so you probably have lots of random jobs
Junie B Jones: that’s legit cos loads of people don’t know what they wanna do but don’t have the luxury of taking time to figure it out but she does & lowkey it doesn’t matter if she never does cos like you said she’s fine in a lot of other ways
PlanityPlan: like I won’t let you be insufferable with it and not work and just bum about but you’re just striking me as work-driven, which a lot of characters are again, so I’m not mad
Junie B Jones: I like it
PlanityPlan: So it’s just working out what your actual main motivation is, which I think could be tied into getting in contact with this fam
PlanityPlan: as we’re saying Jay doesn’t really want to, so it’s a difference there
PlanityPlan: and it’ll be good to have it not a total failure if you do make something with the twins but we know you won’t with Chloe so there’s the struggle with that
Junie B Jones: it pleases me because the obvious and cliche thing to do would be to have Jay be the one trying to do this as she actually has memories of and issues with Chlo whereas Mattie is basically Ava’s child
PlanityPlan: and I don’t think it resembles like, Edie’s feelings about Drew and Caleb etc either, it’s not like I NEED you to be my mum because you biologically are
PlanityPlan: it’s just lowkey a curiosity like, people can’t just vanish from our lives like that, like what are they doing, ‘cos you know their main house is still in London too, like it’s just like, why shouldn’t I look into this
Junie B Jones: agreed, it’s not coming from a place of having a deficit, she’s happy and has everything she needs in that sense, so it makes sense for her to only gain from it
PlanityPlan: and it is naive but that is how I vibe her being in a not really annoying way lol, not a jaded character though
PlanityPlan: and it will be shit when Chloe is Chloe but it won’t destroy her or anything it’s just like oh god, what is wrong with her though
Junie B Jones: and that’ll strengthen her relationship with Jay because she doesn’t wanna talk about all of that and you’ll get why in a way that you can’t unless you experience the crazy that is Chloe for yourself
PlanityPlan: exactly, like that can be a source of strain between you when you’re first deciding to do this
PlanityPlan: and you’d give Chloe a few chances ‘cos like I said you aren’t looking for a mum so you’d be trying to lowkey work it out and being empathetic so she’d probably actually love that ‘cos she’s a narcissist so it’d be a bit dicey
PlanityPlan: suddenly wants to tell you every drama in her life like poor me
Junie B Jones: how real
PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can think you’re like objective and just putting the mystery together but you’re gonna get dragged in, clearly
PlanityPlan: especially combine this with the twin drama which you do genuinely care about
Junie B Jones: mhmm, Lulu is gonna drag you in gal, not like she can bring these emotions and drama to her new school when it’s a scandal and this is supposed to be a fresh start
PlanityPlan: which is what you were warned about/one of the reasons we left it ‘til you were grown but you’ll have to work this all out, which will be good
PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can’t be dealing with your younger sister’s drama instead of living your own life but clearly at a point here we are ‘cos bit lost
Junie B Jones: you’re so clever boo, this is such a good idea that flows
PlanityPlan: heheh, I think it makes sense if you’ve had such a chill upbringing and the twins have not that this chaos can take over your life and drag you in
PlanityPlan: I’d like to think we all get to a healthy place gals but we’ll see tbh
PlanityPlan: as for who Dolly is… I think she never bought into the school as hard, like it’s probably better than home, not that we’d know, but we’re not like omg this is IT
PlanityPlan: same with the boyfriend clearly, none of it is as real but the twin bond is so like may as well until the gay drama comes along
PlanityPlan: but then that’s lowkey over before it’s begun so then we go into overdrive of trying to win her back
Junie B Jones: which Lulu is not having sis
PlanityPlan: like in reality we should accept our truth and start working on separate personalities but we’re like no no
Junie B Jones: potential for how far aka too far she can try and take winning her back, like that creepy book energy
PlanityPlan: deffo, like we’ll have to think of ways but if we’re going all-in on this, there isn’t reason not to
PlanityPlan: ‘cos we don’t care about school or whatever mum and dad are saying or doing
Junie B Jones: not gonna kill you off gal but oh the possibilities for danger cos lbr your grandparents can’t stop you either clearly
PlanityPlan: bless them they’re alright people but obvs a bit useless for all this to happen lmao
Junie B Jones: hence I vibe that Lulu totally walks all over/ has them wrapped around her little finger like Chloe did but more subtly because she has no nuance
PlanityPlan: deffo, oh lads
Junie B Jones: which is a shame when they could literally give you the family energy you want without need for a creepy cult school but hey, you’ve been taught to treat them like that
PlanityPlan: exactly
PlanityPlan: they should’ve lowkey took you in but we’re too posh for that and you’ll probably be fine right lmao
Junie B Jones: at least Dolly can stay with them when her parents are literally hate criming her
PlanityPlan: sad that you won’t ‘cos getting back in that closet so hard like will you forgive me if I’m straight and we’re still the same
Junie B Jones: it’s really sad like this isn’t sustainable huns and shouldn’t have been allowed to be a thing for this long
PlanityPlan: at least Mattie does have fresh enough eyes to be like, respectfully, maybe let’s not do this
Junie B Jones: just like Lulu don’t haze your sister thank you
PlanityPlan: right, I think this gives us energy to go on for all y’all
PlanityPlan: *** so the energy now is she can get more drawn in because she's literally there living at the school too, and after the placement, she's getting a permanent position at the school, so we can actually work through this together and have relationships etc etc
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hatsukeii · 4 years
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hi hi, i have a levi scenario request! so, the reader is known to act on an instant, driven by intuition, which makes her valuable soldier. but when she meets her crush levi at night while they both can't sleep she just suddenly kisses him without thinking about whats driven her to do that. and idk, levi's just perplex but he didn't dislike it. dk how to wrap it up, so u can choose! i hope this is alright! :)
Yoo that’s acc a really good prompt thank you!
I’m naming the fic after a song and YOU CAN’T STOP ME-
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Scrawny// Levi x reader
Word count: 1900+
Warnings: Mild swearing
Summary: Due to severe insomnia, you decide to wake your captain up and make him spar with you.
“Captain. Caaaaptainnnnnn. Leeeviiii. Levi Heichouuuu. Captain Leeeeeeevi-” An irritated grunt sounded from inside the room. “Name and business. Make it quick.” You gave yourself a little victory pump, an idiotic smile now plastered on your face. “(Y/N) sir! I need some help!” The door was whipped open by none other than your fuming captain, his permanent scowl looking extra pissed. “What in the actual name of hell are you doing here? It’s past midnight, get your ass back to bed, and out of my office.” The wooden door was slammed in your face, startling you a bit as you let out a yelp and jumped. You huffed out, pouting a bit as you placed an elbow on the door, continuing to knock relentlessly. “Heiiichouuuuu. Pleaaaaaase help meeeeee. Levi heichouuuuuuuuu. I can’t do it aloneeeee, it’d be pointlessssssss.”
How did you get into this situation?
Well.
You were initially going to stay put and just roll yourself to sleep, or at least try to. But the boredom became way too much for you to bear very quickly. Your mind debated between the sensible option, which was to just wait for the sun to rise, or to just get some training in. Specifically, get someone to spar with you. Everyone in your cabin was fast asleep at this ungodly hour, soft snores from the girls filling up the cozy space. You continued to toss and turn, forcing your eyes shut and trying to relax. You stayed still for about five minutes or so, before a loud snort resonated throughout the room, jolting you awake from your short lived peace. Groaning in annoyance, you glared towards the direction of the unwomanly sound, landing your eyes on Sasha, who was sound asleep in a weird position. It was already 1am. You had to wake at 5am. You weren’t about to get any sleep anytime soon. Insomnia’s an actual bitch. Following your thoughts, you practically rolled out of your bed, trying to comb down your terrifyingly disheveled hair, before changing into some workout clothes, slipping on your shoes, and waddling towards the office of one person you were certain would be awake at this time- Captain Levi. Everyone in the Corps knew of his terrible sleep schedule, so you were positive he was still awake and working. In addition to that, you would rather die than admit it to the other cadets, but you were completely whipped for Levi, so just getting any form of time alone with him would be a blessing to you. Even if it was just to spar.
“Heichou please help me, I can’t stand it any longerrrrrr, I’m gonna die of boredom, do you feel me Levi heichouuuu-” The door you were leaning on so comfortably swung open, catching you off guard. You started to fall, nothing around being useful in supporting you. All Levi did was walk out of the way and watch your tiny body fly towards the hard wooden floor. “Jesus brat, what the hell do you want from me?” You stood up rapidly, dusting yourself off, before scratching your head. “Can you spar with me?” Levi’s eyes widened, his mouth hanging open. “Are you serious right now?” You timidly nodded, chuckling dryly in a terrible attempt to alleviate the tense and awkward vibe of the situation. “(Y/L/N). You disturb me, at 1am, while I’m doing paperwork, to spar? Couldn’t this wait for tomorrow? Go back to sleep, this is an order.” He proceeded to walk back into his office, hand reaching out for the door handle. You laughed lightheartedly, keeping the door open with your foot. “Levi heichouuu, I’m sure you know how big of a bitch insomnia is, will you help a fellow poor sufferer out? Pretttty pleaaaase?” There was no way Levi was about to reject that request. How could he when you were acting so cute? Your whiny ass could melt even the coldest of people, himself included.
The minute you joined the Survey Corps, Levi already had his eyes on you. According to the information Shadis gave him, you were an extremely valuable asset when it came to scheming and fighting. Your intuition was like none other. It was impressive. Perhaps even more impressive than Sasha’s. During battle, your pure gut instincts have saved many soldiers. Most of them knew the name (Y/N) as the insanely accurate fortune teller. You knew exactly where titans would be, and how they would attack. That combined with your logic, made you an excellent tactician. What brought you down, were your physical skills. You were never the fittest person, often times collapsing after only five laps around the training area. You barely passed the ODM gear test, and almost broke a bone sparring with Connie. CONNIE. Since then, Levi has noticed you skipping dinner and training in your free time, whether it was just normal working out, or practising punches and kicks. He had initiated conversations with you before, usually starting off serious, but those talks usually turned into dumb arguments over questions like whether you could eat medicine with tea, or whether Eren was actually dysphoric. As months passed by, you became one of the few people that managed to get close to Levi. Although the captain may not show it, he had to admit, he has grown quite fond of you with time too.
“Good lord, fine, you scrawny ass brat. I’ll spar with you for an hour and an hour only. No buts. Consider yourself lucky I’m actually giving into your ridiculous request.” You beamed, jumping up and down like a child seeing a cotton candy machine, then crossing your arms over your chest, giving Levi a fake pout. “Thank you so much cap! For the record, I’m not scrawny!” He only grunted in response, letting you drag him to the training grounds. On the way, you sensed something off. No, scratch that, there was just a weird vibe. It was like something waiting to happen, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was exactly. You were skeptical for a bit, before you let it go and took it as sheer paranoia.
“(Y/L/N), you’re getting better.” You were completely drenched in sweat at this point, your muscles aching like crazy. You two had been sparring for about thirty minutes only, and somehow you were already worn out, whilst Levi was still completely fine, not a single drop of sweat evident. “C’mon cadet, you can do better than this. You asked me to spar with you, bring it.” You huffed out, panting like a thirsty dog, arms on your knees. “Yeah, hold on, just give me one second to just-” You took in a few deep breaths, before stretching your arms and legs, getting into a fighting stance again. “Okay, I think I’m all good captain.” Levi sent out a tiny smirk, charging towards you without warning. He sent a punch toward your jaw, missing by mere centimetres as you dodged it, grabbing his arm, knocking him off his feet, and throwing him to the ground. “Whooo! I finally won! Once!” You cheered a bit too early. Within seconds, you were flipped over again, the captain’s lean figure now hovering over you in a straddle. “Guard up until the opponent either passes out, dies, or surrenders. That’s rule number one of fighting. That was a pretty impressive throw though, I’ll give you that.” You sighed in defeat, tapping out quickly. “Seriously? You’re going to give up like that? That’s not the (Y/N) I know.” You thought about that for a second. “You know what captain? You’re right.” Smirking evilly, you got into a guard position, kicking your legs up to wrap around his chest as you rolled over, hovering over him in a mount.
Maybe you were dumb. Or maybe you were too immersed in the fight. But you didn’t realise how close you and Levi were until then. Your face burned multiple different shades of red as you went silent for a few moments, Levi staring at you in confusion. “Oi, what did I tell you about not being distracted during a fight?” He tried to shift into a better position, when your hand came down onto his collar. Should I do this? You were about to take a huge risk. Your brain was desperately trying to stop you from doing god knows what next. However your heart was throbbing, messing with your thought process. You felt that weird, tingly vibe in the air again, this time paying close attention to it instead of just ignoring it like the last time. Maybe this is the world’s way of telling me to do this thing? Is it? You pondered over the thought, staying as still as a statue. “(Y/F/N)? Did you listen to a word I said-”
You know what? To hell with your doubts and worries.
Grabbing the soft fabric of his shirt, you harshly pulled him towards you, attacking his lips with your own as you refused to let go, squeezing your own eyes shut. He was audibly shocked, giving out a tiny yelp as you continued to kiss him. His hair tickled your forehead, his breaths tickled your face, the fact that you were kissing your captain tickled every single little thing inside of you. For a few moments, you could hear your embarrassment buzzing in your own ears, before you finally pulled away, lowering Levi back down to the ground as you let go of his shirt. Your eyes widened at what you just did, your entire body going hot as you took your time to let the fact that you just kissed your hot, badass, midget captain sink in. Your hand went up to cover your mouth as you gave a muffled scream, getting off of him immediately and apologising profoundly. “U-uh I think that’s probably enough sparring for tonight, I’ll go see if I can go back to sleep now. Goodnight cap!” You screamed as you ran back to the cabin, completely flustered and feeling very hot. Slamming the cabin door close, you looked around, to see a tall figure sitting up from her bed, turning on a lamp. “(Y/N)...? What are you doing in workout clothes? And… why are you all red and sweaty?” You jumped, cursing a bit at Mikasa’s question as the other girls started to wake up from the noise that you made. “I- uh, it’s a long story….” Ymir smirked, before placing an arm on your shoulder. “Don’t worry. Get changed, and we’ll have all night to talk about it.” The other girls agreed, sending you evil looks as you grabbed your sleeping clothes and proceeded to clean up and change, your risky move from just now still circling your mind like a hive of annoying ass bees.
Meanwhile, Levi could not comprehend what the hell just happened. Did she just kiss me? He fixed his collar, which was now dirtied and wrinkled as he scrunched his nose at the disgraceful sight. “Tch, that brat, running away as if I would be on her ass for the rest of her life as a soldier after she did that.” He let his hand go up to touch his lips, seemingly fascinated by how he didn’t resist or anything. He was beyond confused. Never in a billion years did he expect to be kissed by someone in the military, let alone someone in his own squad. He tried to ignore his cheeks that were feeling warm as he dusted himself off, standing up and walking back to his office, mumbling to himself.
“Why’d you run away so quickly (Y/N)? I didn’t say I disliked that or anything.
Hoe hoe hoe I have finally finished this req! This was so fun to write oh lord I was laughing to myself-
This one goes into the short kings clan👑👑
Hope you liked it anon🥺👉👈💕
Tags:
@burnt-tomato @lydzisanerd @bokutokoutarou @trashcanweeb @izzyphantomgamer @artsamber @ewfilthymundane @macaronnn @sunshines-and-tatertots @for-ests @inlwlevi
Idek why I can’t tag @ewfilthymundane but I’m soRry
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abri-chan · 4 years
Note
I saw you talking about X Reader fics and trying to write for Giorno, what would you say are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to Giorno x Reader fics or just general Giorno based fics? I'm trying to write for Giorno for a fic. that pairs him with a female OC and I check other fics for inspiration apart from the manga and purple haze feedback, and it seems like there are specifically three different versions of Giorno that show up in fics
I’ll be honest the xReader fics I read are smut (yeah I know I don’t write smut myself but hey I need my porn). The fic I’m writing for Giorno is actually a somber one kinda and is about him and Dio, so no reader or OC in that one.
Also, I kinda approach readers as OCs a lot, so we’re similar there. (I do have actual OCs tho!) I would like to know more about what you think the three versions are.
I’m rambling here, and not all may be useful. These include xCharacter, xReader, or just Gen.
Submissive Giorno. I’m separating top/bottom and sub/dom here. I feel like Giorno is always ultimately in control. I kinda HC Giorno as being a thot like Dio, in that he will not hesitate to use charm or sex to get what he wants. But even though Giorno could be fine with humiliation I think even that is calculated. There were some nice examples in abbagio fics where physically it seems Abbacchio was in charge: he was getting payback for Giorno’s behavior, but emotionally it was Giorno that drove him into getting rough with him. I joke that the D in Don Giovanna stands for Dom, but I believe Giorno is always in control of how the situation unfolds, bedroom or not.
Innocent, childlike, or melancholic Giorno. This is a big one. I’ll admit I ship Giorno into what could be considered incestuous because I think his dynamics with other Joestars are interesting (he’s partly Dio after all). I used to consume giotaro/giojota/giodio for a while. Great art by some artists, but the fics I’ve read... not the best. I feel giobru falls under this category too. Not that the stories the fics tell are bad per se; it’s the characterization of Giorno that is off. It seems when Giorno is paired with an older character or manlier character he comes off either as overly naive or overly depressed. (I believe Giorno would fuck over any other Joestar except maybe Jolyne) While as far as we’re shown (through behavior, never thoughts) Giorno manipulated his capo (Bruno) and became Boss in 14 days. You can argue that maybe if Giorno falls in love he’d wear his heart on his sleeve and I don’t quite buy it because it would be too much of a drastic change. IMO Giorno kicked melancholy in the face when the nameless gangster gave him hope-- he seems “a look towards the future kind” of guy.
I’m not saying he doesn’t have any feelings or thoughts on the sacrifice of his comrades, and I do believe Giorno grew a lot in what a leader should be (specifically the opposite of Diavolo): value loyalty (Narancia, Abbacchio), be open to what your subordinates think (Mista in Ghiaccio’s fight), pay people by their worth (the entire La Squadra fiasco could have been avoided). But I think Giorno sees them as a testament or sacrifice to a bigger vision: his bigger vision. So he looks at the bad aspects with respect and awe instead of depression or melancholy. Which brings me to the fourth point.
Give power when power is due. After Giorno becomes Don describe a Don lifestyle. Don’t have Trish just walk into his room anytime or Giorno lazying around. Don’t have him friendly with Mista or Fugo, because they’re not on the same level-- there’s a huge power imbalance and idc how much Giorno values them, he needs to maintain order and hierarchy. Yes he may be 15 in some fics but he never even acted 15 in the actual story. I feel being Don forced him to mature faster-- think of how helicopter parents force their children to perform adult feats in academics (taking college classes) or arts (child prodigies in music). You’d have to deal with the ramification of a character never having a childhood and not being allowed to have one. 
Especially if you want to explore romantic relationships, you’d have to deal with how a huge power imbalance comes into play. I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if Giorno didn’t intend to fall in love but instead planned for it. He’d task a trusted subordinate one day to find him a suitable wife (using wife since your OC is female). How would love unfold for someone that has it planned on how it should be and things don’t go according to plan?
(fourth point) There’s something wrong with Giorno. And I don’t know what it is, but I feel a good characterization would be able to capture it (if not in words in events or overall feeling it conveys). A lot of fics are not even wrong, in the sense that: yes Giorno would be overly romantic and prince charming. He’d also be unforgiving and cruel. But he’s somewhat never quite here or there. Maybe there’s something to be explore with Golden Experience Requiem: you chase a personality trait Giorno may have and realize you have return to the starting point without quite pinpointing it (just like Diavolo can never quite die).
I haven’t read PHF, only skimmed a bit, but there were some points where it gave off this vibe. For example, if I remember correctly Sheila was Giorno’s bodyguard. But then he just sends her away to find Fugo and the question is why? I mean the Don does need a bodyguard and especially trusted people-- you’d have to find another person to replace Sheila if something went wrong. You can read it as Fugo was important because Purple Haze is a dangerous stand, so Giorno must send his best wo(men). But the disturbing way I read it was that Sheila resembled Narancia’s devotion to Bruno in her devotion to Giorno. I think Fugo comments on how he thought Sheila was just as naive as Narancia at first. Did Giorno actually do this on purpose, because he knew what Sheila would remind Fugo of? That’s twisted, and I don’t know if PHF touches on that, or if it was just a coincidence: the author went for a character that resembles Narancia but not with the extension of how it would make Giorno look (this was emergent). There were also fans that screamed ‘fugio canon’ but idk did Giorno say those words (there’s this nice scene towards the end) to manipulate Fugo?
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By the way isabelbuccellati has done very nice characterizations of Don Giovanna. Unfortunately she only has one public fic up on AO3 (it is nsfw so check at your own risk). I think the way she writes him has some depth you don’t usually see in his characterizations (these writings aren’t public tho).
But you can hop over to her tumblr and ask about Giorno, she’s a very nice person. She’s also one of the few people I’d trust to write smut of my fics.
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Another advice would be to not be afraid to write a strong OC, because that way you can explore the characters around them through reactivity. You may end up putting Giorno in a situation that throws light into some hidden aspect of his personality.
I don’t mean strong in the sense of “great powers” or “great personality” or “role model”. I mean strong in the sense that she has presence in the story: for good or bad, with all the virtues and flaws, someone could definitely say “This is a person. This is a believable person.”
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artharrie · 5 years
Text
MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON FINE LINE TRACK BY TRACK IDK WHY I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FUN PLEASE SHARE YOURS TOO OR MESSAGE ME WHAT YOU THINK OK
1. GOLDEN
i feel like it is a very easy and light song, quite repetitive? but i think it’s the vibe he wanted. side A songs seem very summery and idk optimistic? am i making any sense lol i love his voice so so much aaaaa TAKE ME BACK TO THE LIGHT ..much too think about. but uh... brown my skin just right? what?
oh and i thought this was the shroom song where he bit his tongue etc but there are many contenders right kfjdsllfd
2. WATERMELON SUGAR
before it came out i was absolute sure it would be a bitter breakup song, so i was caught off guard dfhkdghd it’s my own fault though. very very fun and catchy and upbeat. his lyrics are sooooo visual in this album !!!! i love it !!!!! i want your belly still kills me... this song live is another level. AMAZING.
3. ADORE YOU
YES. BASS. it’s hard to decide what i love the most in this song, the vocals and background vocals or the lyrics!! i mean, lyrics are a bit of my thing but ye.. i interpreted it as harry asking someone like can i fall for you? maybe because that is 100% me. i can only give all of me in a relationship and i think it’s the best part of it, being vulnerable and open to feel all the feelings without overthinking. sorry i love it.
4. LIGHTS UP
OH MY GOD. i cannot explain how much i fell in love with this song. like obsessed. between hs1 and the 3 singles, it’s my favorite harry song EVER but we’ll see... that’s everything i needed to hear and it is so inspiring and beautiful to see him explore and experiment and love life and accept himself. i could go on and on. the music video is perfect i have no words. ahhh
5. CHERRY
i knew i was going to love this one when he said it was about being petty when things don’t go our way... oof. i do relate a lot to even the images he created, it hits hard. but it also is heartbreaking. it’s so sad. and there’s so much emotion and storytelling i feel like i’m going through it with him and it kinda hurts. beautiful beautiful beautiful. i don’t know shit about production or melodies but the instrumental part is perfect, it’s so involving. it’s one of my favorites and i cryyyy 
6. FALLING
i could tell side B was going to be sad. and also my favorite. he talked about the chorus and jesus, that’s me. always, but specifically right now. so maybe that’s why i instantly started crying as i heard the first note. again with the visual lyrics !!! it just puts you in this mindset. idk it hits hard and i need more time to deal with it. right now i can only cry. ALSO THE FUCKING VOCALS. the whole album is another level but this song specially? breathtaking.
7. TO BE SO LONELY
again i knew i would connect with this song. but it makes me sad that it seems like the relationship made him doubt himself so much, i feel that in falling as well. i mean.. relatable, but it breaks my heart. this is where i remembered it was a break up album ahsgdjhfs it feels a little more upbeat? it could be just me. it reminds me of some indie band but i can’t figure out which one but i love love love it. what i get is like he wasn’t in denial anymore at this point, he was accepting things weren’t going well and he just wanted to allow himself to feel sad and lonely. thoughts???
8. SHE
i don’t know what i was expecting, but it surprised me from the begining. and it confused me so much. so much. i read some people saying ‘she’ could be a part of harry, but i still can’t wrap my head around it, i don’t understand this songggg what is going onnnn but then i saw him saying mitch came up with the melody while on mushrooms, so maybe that’s why it is so unclear and intriguing and interesting !! a woman who’s just in his head and she sleeps in his bed??? what
also.. the chorus reminds me so much of zayn... why can’t they get their shit together.... imagine the harmonies....
but yeah please tell me what you think of this one. all the theories. help me.
9. SUNFLOWER, VOL. 6
ohhhhhhhh. i was really excited about this one because i love love sunflowers and all the flowers and i love metaphors with flowers. AND IT DELIVERED. one of my favorites for sure. this side seems a little happier, right? more about being a fool for women and loving it we STAN. the gasping does something to me.. feels like a weed song if you ask me asjhdsjfsj in love with every detail
10. CANYON MOON
60s 70s 80s i get all of it!!!! timeless love song!!! it makes want to be in love so that’s a bit sad dsfjhgshjdfs and old lover’s hippie music ahhhhh idk it feels like a simpler song? i don’t know what else to read into but cute cute
11. TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS
i think i hate it... but to be fair i was already judging it by the title. if i ignore the chorus it is not so bad. but then again it has potential but it’s just... not my thing. i’m sure it will grow on me, the vocals and the structure of the song is really good but i’m not about that dkjgdfkghdkj ‘just a little bit of kindness’ .........
12. FINE LINE
don’t think i understand this one either, but it feels like there’s so much going on, maybe i won’t ever be able to pinpoint what he means hmm ‘there’s things that we’ll never know’.... such a deep song, it really is a roller coaster. when he is repeating the same lines and the tempo changes ??? amazing. and then he says the best thing to ever hear ‘we’ll be alright’ and it destroyed me in the best way possible. it is the last line of the album and i think that says a lot. i know i will cry a lot to this song fjhkhgdfk
that was a lot. felt too many things. i need a bit of time. my heart hurts and i love this man.
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