#idk im kinda just yelling into the void rn

[the-nightmare-theater]

. (blog update check tags)

[fuckin-sick-bih]

I feel yuck

[edgelords-still-arent-funny]

im spending the night home alone where neither of my parents are home tonight for the first time (like, wont be home till morning not home), and im so scared. ive never done this before and its terrifying. like yes, im an legal adult, but im so heavily attatched to my parents its insane. im so scared that im home alone and that they arent coming back for a while. i dont think i ever wanna move out on my own.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

the crippling existential dread is getting to me

[pinkadork]

I know im not good at it rn but regardless, i like this app alot but just for like. Idk. Not killing myself. Im sorry idk the culture like that so im just kinda yelling jn the void, and periodically someone meshes and gives a note or reblog that isn't a sex bot. I dont really care about that stuff because idk why i woukd with this but I'd be lying if i didnt say its not nice sometimes to feel seen.

[faorism]

@lookatallthefandoms #*leans forward with my chin in my hands* tell me more op [eliot crawls back verse. sequel to this post]

eventually, nate and sophie and quinn (yeah, lets do this, its quinn, yall got me on this train, hope you're happy) find out the extent to which parker and hardison have fallen into it with that weird fucking hitter guy that was supposed to be a scary lieutenant to the big bad but who is now nerfed into redemption arc prospect stalker aka zuko 2.0. eliot is in town but seeing how small a space the wyatt funeral home is he just chills around across the street and idk hes doing morally corrupt hr training via 2011 era zoom so he isnt monitoring the comms closely/at all.

then he gets a call. its a strange number, but he's kinda used to that around the leverage targets but a call is rare. usually only because his darling wants to really sell a grift. eliot picks it up.

hey, what's—

eliot? and oh, hardison's voice is so so small.

hey, hey what's wrong?

inside the wrist holster. hollowed out—hardison?—thickest part of leather. press the earbud once. don't yell.

and then hardison hangs up. eliot immediately calls back. hardison (because its hard to press them little buttons when the phone is vibrating in his hand) picks up.

the fuck is going on, man.

please, eliot. i need... i need fsskskk. i need her, please—sssfkkks, i need...

oh and hardison is panicking and eliot goes to soothing because that's all he can do, but he's so out of practice he doesnt pull a caretaking voice. he is a fucking scumbag that knows killing and fucking so he just pulls that voice he uses when he's got a Nice Normal Girl underneath him who needs to be cooed into the surprise of her orgasm. okay, okay sweetheart. and there, in that moment, hardison gets His Nickname. im sorry. get you our girl.

holster.

got it.

please.

okay. okay, goodbye.

and eliot kinda just... appears in the dinner bathroom in the span of a blink and he's tearing off his jacket and he's ripping at his knife holster on his forearm, not even wanting to free the knife from the release mechanism because that would take longer than his bare hands and his teeth. he releases the bud and he sticks it into his ear and he's hears a cacophony.

and there's ford who says: —have wanted you to contact us to arrange a trade. Did you get his number?

he can barely hear the reply, but he knows that terror. hardison: yeah, yeah. texting it right now.

sophie: could he be just hidden?

quinn: no. actually more suspicious that way unless they got the hearse, but they might abandon that. but i wouldnt bothering burying a guy too deep.

and oh. oh god.

a casket's got 30 minutes of air, eliot says into the void of the bathroom stall, but this time there's a response. several. angry and confused and hostile but, two voices fed relief into the mix.

blondie: stop. he's ours. eliot, what would you do?

eliot: darling, he's a loose end. no trade is worth it. whatever they're telling you is a lie. hardison hiccups his distress (i cant hear him, is he talking?). we have to find him.

and its pretty much the same after that but with nate biting out We Will Talk About This and quinn being super overprotective like These People Are Mine And You Are Dangerous and sophie oh sophie! sophie heard hardison's little sorry about the holster and the hitter's no youre not and parker repeating his words to hardison before adding ill steal you a nicer one and the hitter saying my tack guy made this special [eliot's tack guy credit to old dog & new tricks, which are canon to me] and parker repeating it and hardison's wet and desperate laugh.

and eliot leaves the beating up guys to quinn like He Leaves That To Quinn before he Needs to get to hardison. and it should be weird that this random stalker guy is the one to pull hardison up out the grave but he does and he holds him tight and tells him what he always does, dont do that again. it should be and it kinda it but god, it fits it fits it fits.

and there's definitely fallout eventually but nate (by way of sophie) actually gives hardison and blondie some space, and also eliot is there? and i think that the stalking back of eliot sped up their pretzels because they are United In The Plan To Steal Eliot so they live together (though they have separate rooms rn because they are still figuring each other out) and eliot is just. there.

and blondie has put on wraith of khan for hardison but he quickly falls asleep on eliot's shoulder with his hand in blondie's. and eliot is just sitting there like, darling... i dont know what im doing here.

and blondie laughs and skips over the bulk of his confession to be like, did you not hear my name?

and he's like, i did. but i dont steal intimacy.

and blondie is like. oh. its parker. but darling is still good.

and eliot nods and he is Utterly Over His Head.

[kindest-way-to-say]

okay so. i’m just gonna rant. about some pain i’ve been experiencing for a while. like, we’re getting into it

if anyone would like to put in their two cents, feel free. im kinda just yelling about my problems into a void, but im definitely not gonna stop people who might know what this is from giving me advice.

idk. my brains shutting down a bit.

TDLR: my left arm has been in constant pain for three days. it’s probably nerves or something. i’m very addled rn. i hate the world i want to sleep for a millennia. i also have had similar, smaller pain issues over a course of 4 months. i hate it here. i would very much like this to not be a thing, please.

so this story starts the mid may. my last month of school. i’m suffering through just to end this bullshit. but i notice that p much every time i have to do some slightly more than normal walking, some random body part of mine will just be in this sort of dull pain.

and i just kinda go. huh. okay. ow. and brush it off. this continues. it’s pretty minor, (like barely a 1/10 on a scale) but enough for me to be mildly annoyed by it on occasion.

go to two weeks before my school lets out for summer.

i get appendicitis and have surgery for it. i’m fine. that situation went better than expected, i was just not the most comfortable.

appendicitis pain traditionally presents in the lower right quadrant of the abdomen. right next to a shit ton of nerves. and the pain i’m going through starts to affect my leg. can’t really walk without alarms going on.

it gets better. i’m not like. comfortable, but i’m just taking ibuprofen a few times a day and managing decently. 3.5/10 pain level average.

but then, as i start going out and living life as a teenager in the summer (hanging out with one person semi-regularly, and doing weird family lunches), i start to notice that most times i leave the house, i’ll come back home with some pretty decent pain in assorted parts of my body.

like my back will hurt, which i just blame on my shit posture. but then it’ll be a weird muscle connected to my ankle or some shit when i am very well known for hating any and all sports except for hockey. which i don’t play.

so i’m not doing things to pull muscles, but i’m feeling twinges of pain kind of a lot. which sucks.

but i brush it off, now consciously keeping an eye on it and taking ibuprofen when needed.

pain levels steadily rise over time, but it’s still at about a 4/10 for the most part. there’s the occasional spike to a 6, but that’s not frequent.

keep going on to mid-july. every time i leave the house, i’m feeling dull ache/twinges in multiple places and my knees feel really fucking off a lot of the time. almost like if your knees were crooked or something?? idk.

but it’s still 5.5 on the worst day. so i just kinda hesitantly mention this to my mom. who’s used to me complaining anyway, but i make it clear that it’s been going on for a while, and it feels like somethings wrong.

and she says “oh yeah we can think about seeing a doctor.”

and i just. okay! cool. fun. rad. sick. vague pain. that’s my favorite activity. i love everything about this.

but i just grit my teeth and bear it. still doing the ibuprofen thing when my ignore it and distract yourself strategy doesn’t work.

now, end of july. trucking along. i’m at least in mind discomfort pretty much all the time. sucks. hate it. i’m concerned.

go to the 31. i pull a crazy all-nighter because i have chemical imbalances in my brain and shit just happens. i stay up for like 44 hours. wild. i sit at my desk for a while, drawing and i notice “wow my left shoulder doesn’t feel that great. huh. i have been sitting here for a while.”

so i go do something else but it doesn’t feel fantastic. almost like a buzzing in parts of my back and my upper arm. on my left arm. i am right handed. don’t know what that’s about.

go to sleep sunday night, i wake up to it just being worse. (also i have some weird circulation problems because of genetics. just random shit. no pain whatsoever. just funky.)

like wtf that’s a 4 right as i’m waking up. what the actual fuck. don’t like that.

but i was raised catholic so none of us talk to each other. so i just joke about my body organizing a shitty coup d’état to a friend and chalk it up to a fucked up muscle. but it’s like kind of moving?? a bit?? weird as fuck. don’t like it. still dull pain, but certainly something that pops up into my conscious mind like 10 times a day.

i didn’t do anything would result in a pulled muscle (trust me. my school is really intense about theatre and show choir. hard core choreography in everything that i practice 3 times a week during school+whatever play/musical) so i’m really just making excuses to soothe my brain and i know it. full denial.

i took ibuprofen the first and second day. can still tell it’s happening, but it sucks less.

yesterday i play a shit ton of guitar, and i can feel my upper arm cramping up and shit (which. oW. 5.7/10. WHAT THE HELL.) even though there is no strain on my left arm except for pressing my fingertips into some strings. no shoulder shit going on.

so i try to stretch out. no help.

and then the adhd medication instead of sleeping medication debacle happens and i don’t go to bed even though i actively tried to multiple times. i write a poem instead.

hurts mildly the whole time. it starts kind of limiting the functions of my arm. which. what the actual fuck. stiff, a bit seized up in especially bad pain moments.

i get focused on writing a poem and shit i only 20 minutes to get ready to leave for my appointment.

i forgot to take any ibuprofen, and it was already reaching 5.85 levels from sitting in my room.

in the car and in the orthodontist office, my left arm is completely fucking useless to me. half of my brain at all times is focused on like “oW OW OW OW OW” because it’s reached a point where i can’t really ignore it. it’s just there now. moving it isn’t great, it sitting in place isn’t fun either.

i’m at 6.5 levels. from the round trip of like 20-ish minutes, it’s raised that much. a lot of internal dialogue about it.

on the way to the orthodontist, i’m talking to my mom about it. she, sounding kind of annoyed, asks “what, do you want to see a doctor?”. i say “honestly? yes. it’s been 3 days nonstop. steady rise. there’s something genuinely wrong. i’m concerned about it.”

it feels like someone is poking around inside my arm with electricity or some shit. whole arm. shifting localizations and slight fluctuation in pain level. rapid escalation even just today.

i explain what it feels like in less wordy terms. and she says “that’s sounds like it could be nerve-related.”

it’s been three days. i’m exhausted. this has already taken a pretty significant mental toll, let alone discomfort level.

i have a high pain tolerance. i only started actively complaining about appendicitis pain the night before it exploded. that shit festers longer than overnight. i had been i pain for half the week before i said shit. and i just kinda sucked it up until i felt like i couldn’t walk without needing hella support.

but it’s really fucking getting to me. shit ton of weird tension, buzzing. just. constant painful buzz moving around.

i express this. “it’s a non-stop pain bad enough to be something i am fully aware of at any given second. if i stare off, im probably thinking about my arm.” and she kinda dismisses it.

it’s been like an hour, and i’ve gone up to 6.8 levels multiple times. based on patterns, it’s not just gonna stop any time soon, and i’m really good at working around weird problems like this.

like i said. pain every time i go out.

i’m good at hiding when i’m not 100%, but this is beyond me. it’s like someone’s just stabbing me with tacs over and over again. on my entire left arm and on the rare occasion, part of my leg.

i’m so genuinely uncomfortable, and i would this to not be a thing anymore.

[the-kipsabian]

im gonna talk and im sorry i need to get this out and im not seeing my therapist for like another four weeks and i feel awful talking about this to like anybody so im just gonna yell into the blue void im sorry im sorry im sorry

tw negative body image

im just. ugh

like im aware im not considered big or fat or overweight or anything, tho i mean the bmi scale calls me slightly overweight but we know that shit is actually not accurate but like. despite all these things not really being there and anyone even slightly bigger than me would say that theres nothing wrong with me im just

not comfortable in this blob of a body i have right now

my thighs are too thick. or well they have always been kinda thick but ive still also always had a thigh gap until very recently so its never been an issue for me - right now they are just. SO thick. like to the point of being awful and jiggly and im just. hngggg

pretty much the same goes for my arms. and im aware both of these parts are normal for ppl to put size on. that doesnt mean i like it or that im gonna accept it on my part tho

my face is a whole another issue, as its. more complex than just having a double chin. it also comes with the fact that im extremely aware of how awful my nose is and how much i hate it. which trails back to a kind of a childhood trauma about an art teacher who decided that we needed to do self portraits and didnt like mine cause apparently i drew my nose wrong so she fixed it and made it large and pointy with huge nostrils and ive. been extremely aware of how much i hate my nose ever since then. which is important here cause now im very aware of both that and the fact that i have a double chin so. on the worst days idk how to position my head? if that makes any sense. like if i look down or dont extend my neck i get a double chin but if i look even slightly up (like. even straight forward tbh) im very aware of my nose and its just. fucking ugh (also this nose issue comes with a fantastic side effect of me comparing my nose to those of friends’ around me all the time and i absolutely hate it cause why is everyone elses noses always so nice and neat and mine is. this big ass motherfucker that just points up with huge nostrils i haTE IT)

and then the whole point of why i hate myself physically rn which is my stomach rolls. yes these are natural everyone has them especially when youre sitting down what the fucking ever. try looking like you swallowed a soccer ball while standing straight. like youre carrying a basketball sized baby in you. with the fucking fat not going anywhere bUT the middle of your stomach. i would kill a man to have something on the sides so i’d have even some sort of a shape, now im just wide as a fucking board with no curves whatsoever and thats also disgusting. as much as i hate being identified as a woman, having at least some form of a shape over this would be preferable fuck i just wanna wear clothes again, like. even the looser mens shirts i have now show my stomach like thats not. how it used to be. idk what happened or when it happened apart from depression and anxiety in the past year but just like. i fucking hate it here

now im just stuck in the mood of hating myself, knowing i would absolutely need to work on some of this to get into some kind of a shape at least, but just the thought process of having to look up or worse, DO exercises (another thing that ive been criticized about my entire life yay) is just. too much to handle. too much work. its not gonna do anything for me anyways, im not gonna stick to it, its not gonna work, im just gonna look like this forever

and then im back in the eternal bullshit circle of hating myself, wanting something to feel better, eating garbage, gaining more weight, and starting all over again

fucking

yay

:)))))))))

[choco-style]

lately I’ve found myself mind yelling “shut the fuck up” more than usual and I don’t know who to talk to because there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, I just have to wait to go to school and feel better, which is crazy because the general opinion on school is “god I hate it I just wanna go home” and that’s what I used to think too when I was in my awful 5-8 grade class

and it’s not just real life people I want to shut up, I feel like I’m getting more defensive and my favourite creators are getting called all kinds of things by people who claim to have the higher moral ground (or whatever you call it), when they themselves wish terrible things upon people who have either done nothing wrong, or who have apologized for everything they did wrong. and it’s 99% on tumblr. now I understand why no one fucking likes this site.

and I’m back again in this state where “I wanna go home” doesn’t at all refer to the actual apartment, but to a mentally happy place. and it sounds edgy when your brain says I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home please shut the fuck up

this isn’t even that bad and it’s nothing serious and I don’t know how I feel about all this I just needed to let it out and tumblr is where I can write longass “diary entries” and very few people who I care about will read them, and if someone has a problem with them I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I hope they get the help they need to not turn into a shitty person or worse.

ive also been kinda mean??like not quite but kinda??? i dont know i just feel like i peaked and now im just kinda there. but im not even in the neutral empty doorway kind of state, its like now im in the room but idk what i wanna do and i need to pee but theres no toilet and im just there. like how dreams feel sometimes,,,,, idk aaagh

during the first 5 days of the week i look forward to the weekend because that keeps me happy and good and nice but then the weekend is the worst part of every week and i look forward to going to school, and now i wont even have this escape because this is the last week were going to school this decade and i have to breathe the same air and hear the same sounds as my family and i dont want to, i wanna go to school and be distracted and plan out my evenings and mornings when im basically alone. or something. i dont know what im talking about. i just dont want winter break. i dont wanna talk to my family when theyre all together. whenever theres even two people from my family in the same room i feel like i want to cry and i end up wishing id made plans or something, anything just to be somewhere else. 

youtube videos arent working anymore. or they are, but not really. i can block out the sound partially but i can still hear other people. and i think its normal but also fucked up. “what is?” well thanks for asking, me in “ “s, having these people argue so much is common but fucked up, having to stop whatever ur doing just to check whether or not a family member is crying, only to find out theyre laughing, is fucked up but maybe common. wanting to be home alone is common and not fucked up i think. going into a mental crisis because youre in this eternal circle of being sad - amplifying it because ur an attention whore - realising ur an attention whore - instead of stopping, u amplify THIS to feel absolutely terrible except not really because its not real or is it - now ur making urself look like the victim of realising ur not the victim. jesus fucking christ u stop thinking about it and it happens again a while later. just shut the fuck up, me. shut the fuck up. make my brain shut the fuck up,  i would literally probably cry happy tears if someone could make me shut the fuck up forever. or maybe i wouldnt but right now i feel like im gonna cry thinking about it. or its just placebo. or not placebo, the negative one. or idk. maybe i was right the first time i dont know. and now my back hurts cuz im like a little bug or whatever im just writing like. reversed arched. i dont know how to explain it lmao. i dont wanna read this thiing ever again but i most likely will! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be happy lol u knwo the meme thats like cmon work. idk what it was but the reference is in my brain and i feel like i could use it. and now i sound weird. well not weird im just going thru the thing i explained earlier in this thing. but i wont write abt it im just gonna not think about it bc that seems to work really well. felt the need to add ^^ as if im talking to someone or maybe making my thoughts talk to me rn like how i would talk to someone irl lmao.theyve actually been silent for a while so idk.

id title this “if im being honest” to like show im trying to get my rthoughts out with no real filtering but aaah idk. i dont wanna do it bc the title would be like. bigger and semibold and itd draw attention to  it. i want this to not be read by people but maybe someone will. i have like 2 or 3 people in mind who would maybe maybe maybe read this but i dont know. its really not anything so you shouldnt read it. maybe someone could skim this. is that how you say it. also there is some filtering of my thoughts because i dont wanna name anyone im not looking for trouble i just wanna talk into the void and feel better and maybe this is really it. i do feel kind of relaxed now. my uhhh wrists, yeah thats what theyre fcalled, they kinda hurt and my fingers dont hurt but like, the joints are very,,,accentuated? but not like visually they just. i can conciously feel them? and my throat and kinda eyes? thats bc of almost kinda crying but lol idk. and like ive always hated accentuated feelings and i read this thing on wikipedia about sensory overload and idk if its a normal thing that happens like when something stings or hurts or if its a symptom of something or i dont know but ive always kinda joked about it and its also related to tics. ticks? ticks. tics. and its not really what im feeling rn but its a thing that happens sometimes. kind of. but like when u walk up the stairs and u feel ur right leg has been doing/making more effort pushing u up than ur left leg and u try to balance out the effort and it can be hurtful i guess bc if something like an eye or arm hurts u try to balance out the pain and that can be bad dont do that but like i can do it bc i wont do it in bad scenarios. i went off track lololol sorry

this is kind of what my mind speeches and discourses look like so yeah i hope this goes unnoticed or someone notices it and i can just say nah dude im good trust me because i am i think and u should maybe probably trust me bc usually i have it better than everyone i talk to online or in real life so its fine if u trust me because its nothing to worry about really. ur precious and u desrrve more attention than whatever this thingy is. take care of yourself. the only thing ur allowed to think about this post if u read it (or not but like sure), according to my selfish brain, is that oh wow its cool that u tried mimicking (??) ur thoufhts and id be lioke yeah haha i dont even know whats wriitten in here anymroe im cool like that hahahhahahhhhhhhahha hehe hoho hihi you know. so dont feel anything else than indifference and maybe admiration. i wouldnt say the former if this were something i put thought into but it isnt so enjoy! honesty. kinda.

[queenofthefaces]

rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag  the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

tagged by @jewpacabruhs

A - age: 17

B - biggest fear: uhhhhh having my parents find out some the shit i do on the internet probably? lmao but seriously probably like,,,,never finding love or a place in the world and just scrambling in a void of stress and loneliness until i die

C - current time: 4:17

D - drink you last had: the coke i took from the house of the person i’m dogsitting for

E - every day starts with: trying not to go back to sleep, grabbing my phone to mindlessly scroll for abt 2-3 hours, then getting up to shower

F - favorite song: uhh i dont really have fave songs ahsjdkfl but i really like gaga’s judas, adina howard freak like me, and fall out boy church

G - ghosts, are they real: yeah, ive never had an encounter but i think ppl got like, souls or smth that can stick around

H - hometown: dont really have one?? i was a military kid i moved around a fuck ton lol

I - in love with: fuckign idk the phone destroyer game? uhh these dogs im dogsitting? my new drawing tablet?

J - jealous of: i dont really get jealous tbh?? uhhh im jealous of ppl who have friends that arent MOVING

K - killed someone: not irl obviously lmaoooooo

L - last time you cried: we were on vacation and i was kinda unintentionally rude/blunt and my parents were embarrassed and my mom ended up yelling at me until i cried lmaoo it sucked bc i like RARELY cry

M - middle name: julianna, it’s derived from my great grandmothers name

N - number of siblings: i uhh only count 1

O - one wish: to finally date someone?? i dont think romantic love will like ~fix me~ or make my life better im just constantly craving the ability to BE romantic and im also horny hhhh

P - person you last called/texted: my mom texted me that she’s gonna come pick me up after shes done eating and i texted back “k” lol

Q - question(s) you’re always asked: prob things related to how “smart” i am?

R - reasons to smile: when ur playing w a dog and she stops to look back and make sure ur still following her, comments on ur fic, talking to ur friends and mutuals, finding new music from a band u like

S - song last sang: the icarly theme song w my sister lmaoooo

U - underwear color: UHHHH N/A

V - vacation destination: we’re goin to florida in a bit to visit family 

W - worst habit: im a bitch and i tend to be rude and blunt oops, i also talk over ppl, i tend to snap at ppl when im frustrated

X - x-rays you’ve had: other than my teeth none i dont think

Y- your favorite food: idk tbh rn im really feelin cotton candy blizzards from dairy queen

Z - zodiac sign: gemini

uhhhhhhh idk who to taggg so if u want to do this jus like,,,,,do it for me and tag me and ill add ur name to this post to make it look like i tagged u in the first place ahjdkflg im tired ajsdkfl

[whatdreams-may-come]

Thoughts during Ep 11 “Uncharted”

SPOILERS AHEAD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK - how the heck is she gonna survive walking around an island just hoping people live there like I would have a nervous breakdown and die you go Claire - okay we get it, she’s walking, she’s thirsty, sunburnt, etc. but like did we need a whole 15 min of that? - also she’s like in her 50s. This chick could totally survive Naked and Afraid. - Father Fogden is giving me such weird vibes. He’s like too nice. - this dude is talking to a coconut. #coco #islandfever - mamacita is my fave. “You stink” is my favorite line of the season - I figured it out, Fogden reminds me of Slughorn from HP6. Don’t know why. - Mamacita is such a straight up bitch I love her. She and the goat lady from last ep are amazing minor characters - Aw now I feel bad for this dude. Like Claire can relate. But also let her go tomorrow man!! God this is stressing me out. - also we are halfway through the episode and she’s still stuck there how are we gonna fit in everything else??? - Claire and Coco: a relationship I didn’t know I needed but I’m glad I got it. - Okay did anyone else feel like that cave could be related to the skull Joe Abernathy said was found in a cave??? I’m probably onto something but I haven’t gotten to this book yet so idk???? - what are the odds that Jamie and the gang all have to stop on that same island? Like wow how perfectly planned was that 🙃 - NO THEY ARE LEAVING BUT SHE’S STILL RUNNING I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY RN. CLAIRE GO FASTER. - I don’t remember why she took the mirror in the first place but I’m glad she did. - I know like the mirror reflecting the sunlight actually works but would it really work when they are that far away? Things are just falling together too easily here. - okay I KNOW the second reunion is dramatic but I could not stop laughing at Jamie thrashing through the water. Like he started running from somewhere that wasn’t even close to the row boat. I just keep picturing them yelling action and he’s just running from behind the camera lmao. - I’m still crying tho cuz I’m a sap and I’m glad they are back together. - “ever notice how Mac Dub’s wife just shows up in the strangest places?” I’m cackling - every time Willoughby is on screen I get so happy. That’s my dude right there - aw wait they are gonna do the wedding now how cute! - I love Marsali so much she is so like Claire but she is so blunt and confident in her own way. And C has someone around Bree’s age to kinda fill that void a bit it’s so sweet. - every single thing about this wedding scene is comedy gold. - OKAY IM ABOUT TO GET SUPER EMOTIONAL CUZ JAMIE NEVER GOT TO RAISE ONE OF HIS OWN CHILDREN FULLY AND NOW HE GETS TO SEE FERGUS ALL GROWN UP AND GET MARRIED AND HE GETS TO SEE IT WITH CLAIRE WHO IS LIKE A MOTHER TO HIM AND ITS LIKE WE FINALLY SEE THAT HE REALLY DID RAISE A CHILD AND WHEN HE “ADOPTS” HIM WITH THE LAST NAME IM CRYING SO MUCH. - Fergus Claudel Fraser and Marsali Jane McKimmie saying those quick I love you’s made my heart swell so much - everything about this turtle soup scene is brilliant - drunk Claire is the best Claire it’s official - I love that they are just having sex because of pure fun and spontaneity like they did after they were first married it’s not like I’m leaving you forever sex or angry makeup sex it’s just sex cuz they are honey and can and I’m so happy to see that kind of joy in them again.