#idk it was snowing here today earlier so i’ve been in a bad mood (i hate winter) hence my last few complain-y posts

[m1ckeyb3rry]

not to be controversial or anything but as the number one kashimo lover (BEFORE THE HYPE GUYS I WAS HERE I’VE BEEN HERE!) i hate how like every misogynistic jjk fan latched onto him for a while and now he’s just like. the face of that movement. that subgenre of imbecile.

[quentineliot]

Country music. Everybody's favorite. Right? ;P

I grew up in the Southern US. "The South" people from the area would more affectionately call it. I've moved, and done a lot to separate myself from not only the so called culture there, but also it's music.

And I LOVE music. Sang in the car to every song that came on the radio from the age I could make sound, to 21. My mom always tells this story about how I would cry as a baby unless Vince Gill was playing on cassette.

It's been around 7 years since I've turned on a country radio station. But because I grew up on the music (and classic rock like zztop) occasionally a country ear worm will stop by. And being a fully realized transman, it makes sense looking back at the lyrics of many of these songs, why I didn't notice sooner. And why telling my parents was incredibly terrifying.

Not EVERY song uses the "sweet girl with an overprotective dad that just a good ol boy wants to marry and raise a family with" formula. But it's a Lot of them. And if it's not a song about a guy just wanted to settle down with a pretty girl who can cook a good meal, it's about jealousy. And how (typically) women act in these songs is sung at the top of your lungs, about how she'll fuck up his car, steal his dog, or murder him and his mistress.

Miranda Lambert has a song about burning everything down and lighting it on fire. Which, is honestly a mood. But having been In The South, people don't think it's hyperbolic. There are a LOT of people that, if they were willing to bring Dixie Chicks back into their hearts, would be doing some Goodbye Earl's of their own. (Though, this song is a better example of justice taken, and of all the references so far, I think I'm most comfortable with this one.)

Take a look at these lyrics from Shania Twain's "Any Man of Mine"

"Any man of mine better be proud of me

Even when I'm ugly, he still better love me

And I can be late for a date that's fine

But he better be on time"

Okay so I'm with you on the first two lines. Great start. But you're saying you don't want your man to be late but You* can be late. Double standard and not okay. This was music I absorbed as like, idk, a 6 years old? I'd need math and Google and I don't feel like it. Moving on.

"Any man of mine'll say it fits just right

When last year's dress is just a little too tight

And anything I do or say better be okay

When I have a bad hair day"

First two lines, personal preference I suppose. I'd rather be told if I don't look good and change my clothes. Not everyone is me, a lot of people would much rather get "yes baby you look amazing!" always. Top two lines, good.

But ANYTHING YOU DO OR SAY BETTER BE OKAY WHEN YOU HAVE A BAD HAIR DAY?!!! Excuse me???!!! Absolutely not.

-------

I mentioned Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats earlier. All you really need is the chorus. I don't need Google for this one.

And I dug my key in to the side of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seats

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights

Slashed a hole in all four tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

TLDR: he cheated on me so I destroyed his car. And while this song was a fucking Anthem when it came out, any woman who exhibited even slightly agressive behavior was Shut the fuck Down. Make it make sense. The song is about criminal activity so, clearly, anyone who does this should be charged. So why wouldn't people let women and girls show anger in a productive way?

Trisha Yearwoods "She's in Love with the Boy"

Is literally just romanticizing getting married at 16 or 18 or to your first love.

Faith Hill's "This Kiss" gets a pass but only because of "Cinderella said to Snow White, how does love get so off course?" And I thought they were in love with each other 😂

I can't even begin to unpack Fancy by Reba McEntire. And Reba is legendary, she's been making music since before I was born and I love her. It's just, that song.. Eugh. Yikes.

I've been trying to find other songs that absolutely put "go find a nice boy and have babies" into my brain at an early age, and I stumbled on George Strait and I know a few of his songs by heart. Oceanfront Property. All my exes live in Texas. Check yes or no. Amarillo by morning. I can't find anything wrong with any of his music. So it CAN be done.

I'm just salty about the amount of redneck inspiration porn I was made to sing as a child. (my mother made me sing at parties. I preferred singing alone) No other genre of music does this. Rock music isn't over here all "look pretty, shut up, and find a good husband" 🤨

I feel I should mention that there have been recent songs that defy this formula. ",This ain't my momma's broken heart" by Miranda Lambert. Taylor Swift has a unique writing style so I'm sure she's written SOMEthing that's not just trucks beer women muddin or whatever else today country is about? There's a couple about whiskey I think. It's always whiskey or beer..

Country music is like all about family, or something sad and mourning that loss. Heaven, angels, wings, gods watching over you, memaw is watching over you, you're not alone I'm there with you even tho I'm on a truck 100 miles away, think of me when you hear the wind blow kiddo🙃

Finally, to be clear, I don't hate any of the songs Ive referenced or pulled lyrics from. They were my entire childhood. Lonestar was my shit, I choreographed a dance to Shania Twain's "Man I feel like a woman" and did it in front of an auditorium of people, I still know every word of Suds in the bucket by Sara Evans and anything Martina McBride I've sung hundreds of times. It's beautiful music. But dang does country music and the south know how to brainwash people. It's scary.

[sociallyawkward--fics]

My assumption is that you're a delightful human being, and you better respond with correct or I'll fight you. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

I am most definitely under the age of 17 (16) and understand what friend-shaped means. I am also not in Canada at the moment. So that’s two fun things ~S

One, I’m like high-key torn between being like, three inches is nothing, it’s like 8cm, and in Canada 10cm is nothing, and being like, wow that’s some weather where you live. Two, the resort I’m staying at down south has free wifi, woo. And three, not having the energy for asks is a mood, like I don’t get them, but sending them is also a whole thing. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

I saw Captain Marvel earlier today (yesterday? Idk it’s 12:24), And I’m Big Gay. It was such a good movie???? Like???? She’s so freaking Strong???? And when she finally could do the thing near the end of the movie????? I Almost Died??? She’s so freaking Gorgeous, and Strong, and Wonderful, and Marvelous ;)?????? Anyway I’d die for her. In other news how are you? ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

Haven’t heard from you in a while, I hope you’re doing well. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

Oh dear, it really sucks that the new video makes you feel bad, I hope you feel better ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S 

That anon should not have said that, they’re 100% wrong, which you know. You are a delight and should not listen to them ~S 

I missed so many asks from you my friend, I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize how long I’d been gone this time until I saw that one of the asks was about the rare snow in February.

So let’s answer these one by one, but I might but it under a cut cuz we know I ramble on a bunch lol.

I have the potential to be a delightful human being lol, is that good enough? 

Also I’m so glad you know what friend-shaped means. Maybe it was just a tumblr phenomenon that I didn’t remember was from tumblr lol. And that’s why so many people don’t know it.

Also for us that was a whole lotta snow lol. The mountain gets enough snow that if I step hard enough to sink my foot in, sometimes it’ll get halfway up my calf. But southern AZ in general doesn’t get a lot of snow lol.

Also, you’re probably back from your trip now (I don’t remember where you went because I have a goldfish memory, I’m sorry friend), so when you get a chance you should tell me how it was!!

Also, I remember seeing the Captain Marvel ask in my email literally right after I saw it myself and it was so good. Like, I have so many thoughts and I don’t know if I could put them into words right now lol. I would die for her too, but she probably doesn’t need us to.

And anyways, you kept asking how I’ve been recently, so here’s a shortened version!

I was sick for most of March (got a SUPER bad cold after the Book Festival the first weekend of March, then 10 days later after I first got sick a few days after the festival, I finally gave in and had my mom take me to urgent care because I was still sick, and turns out my cold had turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection and I was on like 5 different medications), then I covered for the church receptionist again for 2 and a half weeks (I believe I mentioned doing this for her back in January, too) and I just finished that up on Thursday, so I’m excited for that money to hop into my bank next week because pay day for the church is biweekly.

And thank you, it’s frustrating to get asks like that, but I refuse to let someone who knows nothing about my struggle in life tell me who I am. And I refuse to give anyone else who tries to harm me the satisfaction of a response. I’m too good for anyone who tries that crap anyways (I’m trying out that whole self-confidence thing, is it working? Lol)

How have you been the past month or so??

[noonetosmilefor]

Random questions

So, I got asked by @hopedreamssoul to answer all 150 questions. Thank you, darling. ❤️

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? - Lick.

2. What is home to you? - Home to me can be a person, a place, a city, somewhere, where I feel alive, can be myself and happiest.

3. What was the last lie you told? - I told myself the lie that I’m going to bed earlier today. (And now I’m sitting here answering these questions.)

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? - Yes.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? - When I was a child I really hated these ‘trolls’. They freaked me out.

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. - I told a friend to go to a shop near our town because they have cool new toys for dogs. I forgot that her dog died almost a month ago.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) - For me personally: Falling asleep and cleaning. (Idk, man.)

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? - I can’t remember. 

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? - About 10 or so.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? - In hugs.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? - 3.

12. What is your paradise? - My personal paradise is when I can do what I want, be myself and with people I love to death. 

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) - Rain.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? - I don’t know, I hope I’ve never broken anyones heart.

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? - That people can communicate with each other, even though they’re miles apart. That say’s that I have a lot of friends who life far away from me.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? - I think it’s because it makes them happy to ‘care’ about someone else. If it gives them hope/motivation/happiness etc., why shouldn’t they care about them. I can’t say I ‘care’ about celebrities. It doesn’t affect me if a certain celebrity does something wrong or something like that.  I really like a lot of celebrities and the way they’re. I like their music/acting skills and so on.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? - Sitting beside me and chewing on their fingernails or eat noisily constantly. 

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? - Sometimes, depends on the situation. But I can’t think of any pros or cons, because it just happens sometimes.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? - Yes, the transverse flute.

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? - Sometimes. It depends on my mood and look.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? - My hair, my eyes and my honesty.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? - “Travel the world, go on adventures without fear. Learn to get to know the unknown and do what you love.”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? - I don’t think so. I don’t like children that much and I can get very moody and want to be alone a lot of time.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? - Listening to my favorite band while laying in bed.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? - Today.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? - A mixture of both. It always depends on the situation.

27. What constitutes a good friend? - Honesty, loyalty, the same humor, a good listener, someone who can put their phone away while being with me.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? - One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? - That someone is pissed.

30. What is your dream job? - Something I love doing, that makes me happy. I want a job where I can be independent. 

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? - Lazy but smart.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? - That I’m crying a lot when I’m on my own.

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? - Why do they have to be so stubborn all the fucking time?

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? - The Harry Potter world.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. - She’s not a friend of mine anymore. She treated me like shit after she got together with her current boyfriend because he told her, that I’m not worth her friendship.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? - I would want to find myself and find a way with that other person how to work this shit out.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? - I would burn it.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? - Uh, I don’t know?

39. Name the last book you read. - “Achtnacht” by Sebastian Fitzek.

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? - In a bad way of course. It would never be the same with friends again.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? - A week ago.

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? - I personally don’t like it and wouldn’t say that this is ‘music’.

43. What was the last movie you watched? - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? - Currently not really.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? - No.

46. When was the last time you cried? - Today.

47. What are you scared of? - Since my childhood, I was scared of the No-Face, don’t know why. It’s getting better, but I can’t watch the movie ‘Spirited Away’.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? - A lot of cringe-worthy things happen to me every day. But I’m not embarrassed easily.

49. What are some of your hobbies? - Listening to music, reading, going to the cinema with friends, attending concerts, traveling.

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? - I’m sometimes really sloppy.

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? - I think so. I’m a good listener and try to be as honest as possible. Also I want to make my friend’s days better.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? - No.

53. What have you learned the hard way? - That I can’t have everything and do everything I want to.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? - Motivation.

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) - Photography.

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? - Creative.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? - I completed school successfully. 

58. What is your ideal meal? - Italian pasta with sea food. Would die for that right now.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? - Not being honest.

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? - YES. All kinds of animals.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? - Guns.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? - I sometimes really enjoy listening to trashy songs.

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? - Fandoms.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? - Not really.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? - Beauty is a good way for everyone to express how they feel. It doesn’t matter what you look like, the beauty lies within yourself. I think it’s great that big girls/boys also get recognized nowadays. Because they’re as beautiful as thin girls/boys.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? - Not at all. If I go to work I have to get up at 6 AM. If not, usually at 10 AM.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? - Yes. The Lion King. I love Nala.

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? - City.

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? - Near the ocean.

70. What are the best things about winter? - The snow, the cold storms and the silence that lies within a snowy day.

71. What scares you most about the future? - That I don’t know what might happen.

72. What makes you feel old? - Seeing tv shows I used to watch as a kid/teen.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? - Uff, I think about 10 hours.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? - Don’t have any.

75. What is your life story in 6 words? - Full of traveling and lovely friends.

76. Describe yourself in one word. - Ambitious.

77. What bad habits do you do? - I often command people.

78. What genre of music do you listen to? - I love love looove pop-punk.

79. Most prominent childhood memory? - The divorce of my mom and dad.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? - I think we’d do a lot more dangerous stuff and he would be over protective.

81. Spirit animal? - Sherlock Holmes.

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? - Yeah, kinda.

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? - “Be yourself.”

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. - My two best friends Iris and Marci and @hopedreamssoul. ❤️

85. Favorite memory of your family. - The chilled Sundays in our house.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? - Honesty, openness, loyalty, a bright smile, a kind heart, a good listener and someone adventurous.

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? - No, I don’t think so. I’m just who I am, I don’t need a role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? - I like it. But it can ruin a lot too. I see people barely talking to each other when they’re out with friends because they constantly stare at their phones. I HATE that.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? - Pessimist.

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? - Shoes, clothes, make-up, hygiene products.

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? - The day my second mother (still don’t like the word ‘stepmom’) died. Basically the year 2012.

92. What superpower would ruin the world? - Immortality.

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? - Drinking alcohol.

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? - That not everything’s what it seems and you have to work hard in order to achieve the things you want. Surround yourself with the right people, the ones you can trust. The Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter movies, basically.

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? - Currently, I’m in a ‘far-away’ mood. So New Zealand, maybe.

96. How do you approach people? - With a poker-face.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? - The first impression isn’t what it is. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Or a book you’ve only read 5 pages in.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? - I went outside a lot, dancing, playing the transverse flute.

99. What languages can you speak? - German, English, Spanish, a bit Italian.

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? - Mind-controlled over social media/phones/computers.

101. What do you do on your lazy days? - Laying in bed, reading.

102. What ended your last relationship? - Disagreements.

103. Favorite food? - I love the potato salat from my grandma.

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? - That my mom and I were trapped inside a cage of lions and the only way she could help me out is that she stays in the cage forever. I dreamed that dream every night when I was a child.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? - Yesterday.

106. What was the last friendship you broke? - With one of my former best friends/ex-boyfriend.

107. Do you have any pet peeves? - People with bad table manners, noisy eaters, animal cruelty, homophobic people.

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? - My sister’s best friend.

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? - Last Thursday.

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? - My mood changes.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? - My dad.

112. What is your biggest motivation? - Watching other people succeed.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? - I wanted to be a veterinarian.

114. What are some things that you are good at? - Playing instruments, listening to other people, being funny and I’m also very spontaneous.

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? - Singing.

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? - My phone. 

117. How important is privacy to you? - Very important.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? - Being nice to everyone when you meet them, no matter what color/gender/sexuality or how the person looks.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? - I don’t know. I’m not the person who’s telling crazy or big lies.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? - I don’t attend parties that often, and if so, I wouldn’t be someone to tell a story about myself.

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? - I don’t know.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? - I smiled the whole time, even though I wasn’t really in the mood of smiling.

123. What is your morning routine? - Getting out of bed really slowly, going to the bath, getting dressed and run out of the house because I’m late again.

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? - I helped someone out who couldn’t help themselves.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? - Help.

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" - I don’t know anything about it, so.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? - Pros: You can really be honest with everyone, they know you won’t lie to them; Cons: You may hurt some peoples feelings and may loose friends.

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? - Showing someone the direction of life, idk.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? - Both.

130. What do you admire most about your friends? - Their smiles and honesty.

131. What do you admire most about your family? - They are all open-minded.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" - I personally am not going with the flow. But if it bring’s you joy, go for it.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? - Both.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? - When you have the feeling it’s not worth it anymore. When you’re distant and not interested in what the person is saying anymore.

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? - That I’m not feeling well. (I always use that excuse.)

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? - GPA doesn’t matter where I live.

137. What are your favorite baby names? - Nick and Merry.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? - In February in Berlin with @hopedreamssoul.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? - When a person is constantly interrupting someone.

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs.- Turn ons: Contagious smile, honesty. Cons: Disrespect and racist people.

141. Biggest disappointment. - Myself.

142. Do you have any self-restraint? - Not really.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? - When I was in Lisbon with my family.

144. Prized possession(s)? - My books.

145. What is your opinion on second chances? - It depends on what the person did to you. I uneasily forgive people.

146. Text or call? - Text.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? - I can’t think of one single thing, well.

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? - GO TO SCHOOL, YOU FUCK!

149. How organized are you? - Really organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. - By train.