#idk man i don't want the seb stans to find this

[high-dragon-bait]

The Extremely Petty Reason I Hate Sebastian

Please do not take this seriously. I'm not main-tagging this because I do not wanna die, and may delete this if people go insane, but I've been wanting to make a post about it for awhile and this blog is for talking about by feelings on my favorite game so here goes

It is SOLELY because of how he talks to Fenris

Nearly all of his dialogues with Fenris are like this

Do you see it?

Do you see it?

This is the one that really did it for me, mostly because I misinterpreted it as being directed towards the sexual abuse Fenris faced at the hands of Danarius and it disgusted me so much I had to close the game

I understand now that's probably not what Sebastian was talking about but it was too late. Even knowing he isn't referring to that this is such an over the line thing to say that I can't forgive it

Every interaction with Fenris that he has reads like a Evangelical missionary trying to convert someone in a vulnerable state to their cult faith and it's fucking gross. It's actually nauseating

Now, I actually think Fenris having faith is interesting. I was raised atheist myself, I can't understand faith like someone who was raised religious does. But I do understand having a complex relationship with the concept of faith, especially the idea of faith feeling appealing, but finding the people and ideas behind faith hostile to who you are. That's the kind of relationship with faith I like to imagine Fenris has

But god I cannot stand the way Sebastian talks to him. I can't not find it predatory, and it makes Sebastian come off as so insidious that he is the only Dragon Age character I actively hate. Usually with characters I don't like I just ignore them, but Sebastian I hate. Sebastian makes me physically angry

I say it's petty because it really is JUST this. Just how he talks to Fenris, and since Fenris is my Prime Blorbo I'm soooooooo biased it's ridiculous. Also because Anders is terrible to Fenris but I can forgive that, probably because Fenris is equally as terrible back.

Sebastian acts creepy towards my fav and the game never seems to acknowledge how creepy he's being and for that I cannot stand the sight of Sebastian. I am so sorry. I know plenty of people like Sebastian and you have my utmost respect but to me the man's vibes are so rancid I may start gagging

[sesamestreep]

idk if you're still doing the made up movie meme but!!! a Cast: denzel washington, john david washington, zendaya, seb stan, and xochitil gomez. do with this what your huge brain will <3

SONG: “monsters” by all time low & blackbear

I'm wondering, why do all the monsters come out at night? / Why do we sleep where we want to hide? / Why do I run back to you, like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?

SUMMARY: while a furious battle rages on in the background, an increasingly frustrated healer tries to save the life of a dying man (Denzel Washington). When she’s left with no other choice than to send for a healer more powerful than herself, she asks her young son to stay by the man’s side until she returns with help. Noticing that the boy is more scared than he is, the injured man offers to tell him a story from his youth…

Many years ago in their kingdom, long before the war, three adventurers journeyed into the woods at the edge of their realm to seek the help of a sorcerer. In the village at the outskirts of the forest, they tried to acquire the services of a guide, but no one would volunteer to help them. There was powerful magic in the woods and it could kill you if you weren’t careful. After many inquiries and desperate offers, at last, a young girl named Vivian (Xochitil Gomez) offers to be their guide in spite of the risks. If she doesn’t come back, she reasons, at least it will be one less mouth to feed for her struggling family.

Impressed by her grim determination and her extensive knowledge of the history of the forest, the party accepts her as their guide and began their dangerous trek into the woods. Along the way, they explain their mission to her, though they are cautious with the details at first. They are seeking the sorcerer Merlin, who was once the magical advisor to their king before he disappeared. They need to find him so that he can help to restore an enchanted relic, without which the king can never hope to maintain his claim to the throne.

As their travels through the forest continue, Vivian comes to the party’s aid as they face off with cursed foes and supernatural threats at every turn and they soon come to trust her with their lives, aa well as their most important secret: they are no ordinary party of adventurers. They are knights of the Round Table, led by King Arthur (John David Washington) himself. Joined by his most trusted knights, Sir Kay (Zendaya) and Sir Lancelot (Sebastian Stan), Arthur must find his former teacher in order to repair the broken Excalibur and quash the threat that a usurper poses to the throne.

Just when it seems their trust in Vivian is going to pay off and they will finally find Merlin, she reveals herself to be the enchantress Nimuë, cursed by the very sorcerer they seek to eternal youth after she insulted him. She has finally taken her revenge on him by trapping him deep in the forest, but the king and his knights will have to defeat her if they hope to rescue the sorcerer and make it out of the woods alive. Arthur, however, can’t shake the feeling that destiny may have lead him to this place for another reason entirely…

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Yoooo it’s shy!Seb anon and SEBASTIAN FREAKING STAN OMYGOODNESS THE AUDACITY THAT MAN HAD TO POST THAT PICTURE I—

Now I can’t stop thinking about what a certain Bostonian’s reaction was to that picture Idk if he’d be real real horny/a lil jealous because “damn I thought that ass was just for me.”

this photo

A familiar face! Hello! <3

Sebastian Stan is a

problem

But(t), yes, I think a certain Boston home boy was having a good time yesterday for sure because even though Sebastian is in control of himself and his own body and can what he plesses with it I, personally, think he still told/asked Chris about if he should post it or not.

He's a fantastic actor and so sometimes I think we forget that he probably hesitates to do the things his characters would do without blinking y’know? He probably had the photo from set just because there's a part like that in the movie and so it was already set up and someone tapped him on the shoulder laughing and joking about him getting a photo for himself to "immortalize" the moment or he had it from set because of the general nude scene we know is happening and Sebastian was feeling like doing something ballsy (I need to stop with the puns!) so he just did that. Or or he did it because he knew it would give the movie some free extra press.

But going down the road of Sebastian wanting Chris' approval before posting it:

What if he just sent it to Chris out of the blue that morning when he woke up? What if he was tired enough in the morning that he hadn't really thought out the fact that to explain himself he was to, well, explain himself and so he just sent Chris the photo? No context. No, hey just wanted to ask if you think this is too much? Love you and miss you!

He just sent the photo.

And Sebastian isn't a morning person plus he's been doing press and working hard lately so his early, bleary morning is a lot later in the day then Chris' so Chris gets the photo when he's already started the day. Chris gets the photo as he's finishing up his shower, he's stepping out and he sees that he's got a text. He opens it and what does he find?

Sebastian's pretty little backside.

His first instinct is to lick and bite his lip, looking over the photo but when his logical side catches up to the side of him chanting pretty pretty pretty he's like what? Hello? Why? Why did I need this photo? I appreciate the photo but..? Huh?

And because, well, he's here and he's currently dripping water all over his bathroom floor he just... just takes a picture of himself too.

He knows Sebastian likes his back and his shoulders and... he likes his ass too.

(Chris' mind instantly flashes to all the pretty sounds Sebastian makes when being fucked and begging for it, grabbing onto him anywhere he can reach- especially when he can dig his fingers into his ass to get him even closer. Pulling him into the intrancing heat of his body and moaning, "guh, fuuuck," he gets in deep. Its too bad he doesn't still have any of those bruises, from fingers or whole hands, to add to the photo.)

And why the hell not?

Is this what we're doing? Exchanging nudes without any context?

He gets a call from Sebastian about 10 seconds after he sends it-

"..."

"Seb?"

"I hate you."

Chris bursts out laughing, "you did it to me first, honey."

"I- I did not!"

"You- are you drunk at like 10 am? Yes, you totally did, you just sent me that picture of your ass, just standing and-"

"That's-!" Sebastian grumbles something under his breath, "fine, that's on mm-" he cuts himself off, yawning.

Beaming Chris puts his towel to dry on the rack, "ah, so this isn't just a booty call?"

"A booty call? Seriously, Evans? I'm hanging up," he sings, "you don't get to torture me this early."

"Haha," he sasses.

"Mmm-hmm."

"Whats up though? Now you have my intellectual attention."

"Your intellec- what? ...oh." Chris can hear his blush through the phone.

"Yeah, baby," he steps into his underwear, setting the phone down on the counter, putting him on speaker, "you can't expect to send me any kinda naked photo and not have me be up to bat for it."

"Up to bat? What is with you today, can't you just say that you took one look at my ass and got hard?"

Chris nearly falls to the floor laughing, picturing nothing but the couple of grumpy cat and Sebastian comparisons that were floating around a few years ago. "I'm-" he chokes on another giggle, "I'm still waiting for that explanation?"

"Oh, right, uhhh, Monday is coming up, y’know-"

"The movie." They say it in unison without trying. It makes Sebastian giggle.

"Yeah, uhh, yeah. The movie." He pauses for a second, "and that photo is just something I have from the shoot and I was kinda thinking it'd be good for hype and-"

"Seb, baby," Chris dons his most intense deadpan voice that he can currently locate, "I love you and I want you to know that if you're more into exhibitionism than you thought you were, you can just tell me."

"I'm hanging up-" Sebastian talks through half suppressed giggles.

"Mmm-hmm, sure you are."

A moment of silence settles atop them. He throws on his shirt.

"Its, its okay with you though, right? I've not, like, promised anyone I'd post it yet."

"It's your body, baby." Chris reminds him.

"I know, I just-"

"Yeah," Chris hums thinking about it seriously for the first time. Letting at the senerios that may play out play out in his head.

"Do you think I should?" Sebastian asks, voice suddenly a little less just tired and a little more... something else. Chris knows that something else like a dog knows the word "dinner".

"Yeah," he starts sincerely, "yeah I think you should. I think it's funny and charming and its not like it could ruin your career or anything, you're right about it being good for press, totally." He takes a deep breath in. He lets it out. "But. You know what else I think?"

Sebastian audibly swallows and shifts in his bed, "no?"

"I think people are gonna be thinking about that photo for a long time. It's gonna be the first thing people think of for a bit. They're gonna think Sebastian Stan and then they're gonna picture that pretty ass..." Sebastian makes a tiny sound in the back of his throat, wanting, "they're gonna thinking about how it'd feel in their hands, yeah?"

"Yeah?" Comes a breathy, mewled reply.

"Mmm-hmm," he growls, "they're gonna think about how good you look. How good you look from behind. They're gonna think about in bed. Gonna think about you naked and all that pretty skin, aren't they?"

Seb only makes a strangled noise in response.

"They are," he chuckles, "but y’know what they're not going to do?"

"No?" His voice is a hoarse whimper.

"They're not going to get to touch you," Sebastian moans, only a little muffled like he's biting his lip, "nah, that's only for me. Only I get to touch you. Gonna mark up that pretty ass when I see you next."

"God. Yeah? Please, Chris, I-"

"Shh," he licks his lips, "you know who that ass belong to already, don't you?"

"Yes! Yes-"

"Mmm, yeah. It's mine." Sebastian moans again, higher and more breathy like he does when he wants to touch himself but can't, "'m not gonna spank you and mark you up because you need the reminder, I'm gonna do it because they need the reminder." He lets his mouth run even more, letting Sebastian's pants and gasps and hums guide him, "maybe next time you do a nude scene I fly out before? Give you a good night right before so makeup can blush and scold you some, maybe smack you around a little too huh? Telling you don't you know better than to get marked up? No bruises, no hickies, certainly no handprints. Just to go home and think about it, think about hearing and watching us. Watching me mark you up. Fuck it, you know some of our friends are gonna see that photo, Seb, maybe we cut right to the chase and have 'em come over. Like doing a sex scene but with a live audience that can tell you how good you're being for me and how good you look. All their eyes on you, knowing you belong to me though 'cause its my hands on you. Huh? What about that?"

Sebastian chokes on a completely desperate noise and whines, "Jesus."

Chris breaks, laughing, "good?"

Sebastian only offers, "so this is a booty call?"

"I dunno why I even bothered getting dressed."

"Yeah? Why did you?"

"Maybe 'cause I'm not as much of an exhibitionist, ey?

"I don't think that kink applies when you're alone in your house, Chris."

"Maybe not."

[logicalstansadvice]

And I'm sorry but his role in P&T didn't really stand out to me so I don't quite get the hype. Tommy isn't that interesting. He's a fucking literal douche and it frankly says a lot about Seb that he's all buddy buddy with him. /////

Dear Anon 5, we don’t give a shit about your opinion on his performance, critics, experts and the general public, as well as people who know tommy lee definitely know better than anon number 5….no one is holding their breath waiting for your critical acclaim lol and tommy doesn’t have to be interesting or a good person to be portrayed in a show or a movie many people less interesting were portrayed in hollywood its about the art, they saw good material for an actor to play with and ran with it….also it doesn’t matter if its a fucking serial killer you played in a movie, if its a real person, you would want to meet them, you would want to know their opinion of your portrayal, you would want to compare your version with the real them. And lets assume its tommy who asked sebastian to go out for dinner? Do you expect sebastian to say no when he literally just profited off of this mans life? That would be shitty as hell even if tommy is not a good person…the same treatment was extended to tonya harding and no one gave a shit because it was margot robbie but lets not talk about the double standard. yall are so narrow minded its insane.

Anon 2: //////// Anon your existential problems reek of privilege. If this is what you complain about considering what's currently happening in the world, than to me it's clear what kind of person YOU are 🗑️

Anon 3: Dear "gross" anon: Adults have dinner with people who we're not buddy buddy with all the time. It's called a Work Obligation.

Anon 4: The Tommy Lee haters need to get over it. Pam has. Not saying they have to like him, because let's be real, he's an ass...but treating him like he needs to be shunned by everyone forever when Pam has been getting along with him for years is ridiculous.

Anon 5: And I’m sorry but his role in P&T didn’t really stand out to me so I don’t quite get the hype. / Who cares. For a lot of people, Sebastian stood out in that role, so your opinion is insignificant. You are not that important to make a difference.

Anon 6: I can’t deal with people calling seb a supporter of domestic abuse for having dinner with Tommy when people have Literally overlooked his other actions lol. Like at this point you seem as human or you still have him on a pedestal and will cancel him for every mistake. They might as well leave him behind then don’t know why they still hold on to him if they’re so done with him

Anon 7: Why are these anons more upset at Seb than they are at Tommy, you know the actual abuser? Could it be that TL/Crue fans will either ignore them or tell them to go F’ themselves and there’s no social media clout in that? Crue is getting ready to tour, go trash Tommy’s career if you hate him that much.

Anon 8: I’m just tired of people dragging this on. Like either accept seb is human who makes shitty choices or just move on and find someone new to stan? Idk why ppl keep following him if they’re so disappointed seems like a waste of time to me

Anon 9: Tommy isn’t that interesting. He’s a fucking literal douche>> These are the best characters!! Douchebags are great characters, they are challenging, especially for an actor who wants to show acting skills. From the way you say it, you don't watch many movies. List of actors who won Oscars playing douchebags: Denzel, Joaquin Phoenix, Jack Nicholson, Daniel Day Lewis, Christian Bale, etc. You must be a Disney girl Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anon 10: And I'm sorry but his role in P&T didn't really stand out to me so I don't quite get the hype. Tommy isn't that interesting.

/// That's because you're projecting your resentment for the character towards the actor playing it. Seb did an awesome job portraying all of Tommy’s douchiness. You simply don't see because you don't want to see it. You're part of the gang who wants him to play only fantasy characters, preferably just one, forever and ever, so that your smut fanfics don't get ruined.

Anon 11: will side with him despite any shit he does for PR that he doesn't need at the moment, especially one like this one.>> Yikes PR anon, but if I worked for Disney and they said to do PR for their show, I wouldn't say no to the biggest studio in Hollywood. This is career murder. But that's what you want, Seb without a career, depending on the cons ie you fangirls.

Anon 12: When it comes to the whole Sebastian and Tommy dining controversy. The thing is I feel everybody is benefitting off of The Show and not just Seb, Tommy and Lily. Because even Pamela Anderson is doing Chicago right now and apparently is getting good reviews for it. And while I am genuinely happy for Pamela. Still the timing of Her doing Chicago just 2 Months after Pam & Tommy Debut is definitely eyebrow raising🤨 to me.

Anon 13: they are deaf >> The women of this blog are woc, deaf is what they are not, but they have a life unlike you who do activism for likes or feel good. Every time this blog is attacked because these women don't act the way you want them to. There's one thing, respect people's choices, if they don't want to do something, leave it, walk away, or say why you and other minions don't really like the mods here.

We keep saying it and we will keep repeating it: if anyone feels they are over Seb, his career choices, his choice of friends/girlfriends, they are absolutely free to leave the fandom. No need to announce their departure or disappointment, because we *absolutely* do not care.

Be a grown up and move on all by yourself, or choose to scream into the void. We shall remain unbothered.

💄

[the1918]

Okay so apparently the September 2020 curse fell on both Chris and seb. Chris for the obvious but ppl are starting hating seb for his gf and comment at his new pic with Mackie calling him out for his trip to Ibiza. Idk what to think tbh. I don't think that it's his fault for his gf s actions but in the same time I don't like her very much and I think that he could definitely find someone better? Your thoughts on that? He is just a really nice and goodhearted person and I don't want to see him getting hurt...

Alright so I don’t particularly stan Sebastian (I’m far more of a Cevans girl, Seb is the body of Bucky Barnes to me and a fictional character in Evanstan RPF), but I do feel like I need to answer this.

“I don't want to see him getting hurt,” babydoll… Sebastian Stan is a full-grown white man. It was his decision to forego doing the right thing in favor of getting his dick wet. He does not deserve our coddling.

Let’s set aside the booty shorts and look at the facts. Alejandra Onieva did something racist and offensive that hurt people—including some of Seb’s own fans—and she did not take steps to remedy the offense even after public backlash from the people that were victims of it. That means that Seb either did not say to her, “This was offensive and I want you to fix it,” or that he did say that and she refused, and then Seb said, “okay, I tried, let’s move on like this is okay.” It’s not like they’re married and this is a ‘I promised to love you in spite of your flaws, no one is perfect’ situation; he clearly has just started fucking her. The fact that Seb continues to attach himself so closely to someone who did something racist on a large platform and made no move to grow from her mistake makes what he is doing an act of passive racism. It just is.

You hear people say that ‘Celebrities don’t owe you anything,’ but yes, they do. Maybe that’s true in situations to do with the movies they pick or the haircuts they get, but it is not true in situations like this, where a subset of Seb’s fans have experienced real personal hurt because of something he’s done (or failed to do). The man is talented for sure, but let’s not kid ourselves and say he would be as successful as he is or have the money that he does if it weren’t for his stans buying tickets to his movies and throwing literal cash at him at conventions and meet-and-greets. He’s not a damn fanfiction writer being creative for free; the man makes bank off of us. We are literally his clients, his customers, and the people hurt by his passive racism are also included in the people that sign his paycheck. Seb owes it to them to stand up when they’re hurt by something he could have chosen to make better if he cared to. Even if that wasn’t the case—celebrity status aside—it’s still also true that all white people owe all BIPOC compassion and action re: benefiting off of their pain since the beginning of western civilization.

Look… people are gonna fuck up sometimes. Period. That’s a statement of fact but it’s not an excuse, because it is the duty of those who fuck up to turn it into a growth opportunity and learn how they can be better by talking to the people who are directly affected. People will fuck up to different degrees (because there is such a thing in this world as nuance), but the only people that get to decide whether an offense is forgivable are the people that were victims of it, because their hurt is valid—100% of the time, full stop. On that note, the people that were victims also have the right to disagree with other people that were victims about whether the offense is forgivable, or whether they want to forgive them for their own personal reasons and well-being, because they are individuals who can make decisions by themselves, for themselves. I say this to remind anyone who has been hurt by problematic things Seb has done in the past: if you choose to un-stan, that is a valid decision, and if you choose to keep stanning because that’s your escape from reality, that is still a valid decision. You don’t need to collect receipts to defend your identity.

TL;DR: Do not coddle Sebastian for something he brought on himself by choosing not to take action when he could. Do coddle Chris Evans, for I am sure that monster dick must give him circulation problems, and hugs improve blood flow.

[holylulusworld]

I don't wanna love somebody else (3)

Request: Was thinking something angsty with Sebastian Stan & reader. His friend maybe tells him that she's not nice & is behind his fame & money so she's acting all nice. Once when she's talking abt someone else Seb thinks she's actually talking abt him. He acts cold towards her & throws her out on her b'day. He insults her in front of everyone & tells everyone how bad she is. She leaves the country & changes all the contacts. Seb sees her after 2yrs, with his child. Idk a happy ending??? 

This part got inspired by A Great Big World’s ‘I don't wanna love somebody else

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader (platonic), OFC Matteo Christopher, OFC Loretta

Warnings: angst, sad reader, mentions of heartbreak/break-up, arguments, daddy!Sebastian

You love me not masterlist

Sebastian is pacing around Chris’s apartment. Glancing at his best friend, trying to convince him to give him your addressee or at least your phone number.

“Please, Chris.” Moving his hand over his face Sebastian sighs. “I only want to talk to her. It’s been over a week and she didn’t allow me to see my son, please.”

“Seb, I always respected your privacy, never even tried to get involved with your decisions. Only one time I tried to make you change your mind, the night Y/N gave birth to your son. I called you, told you she’s in the hospital, asking for you.” Chris is clearing his throat at the memory of you lie on the hospital bed, waiting for Sebastian to come.

“I thought she has a broken leg or something…” Sebastian whispers, feeling more guilt well up. “I didn’t know…”

“Sebastian, you hung up the phone before I could explain the situation. I tried to reach you again and you refused all my calls that night. What if she would’ve had an accident and was close to dying?” Now Sebastian’s eyes widen, and he let the tears fall.

“I…”

“Exactly! You wouldn’t have cared at all, Seb, too busy believing this lying bitch of a best friend. I tried to make you see your mistake, Y/N tried, hell even your parents tried to make you call her. They still can’t believe you treated her that badly.” Chris is glancing at his phone the moment Sebastian’s eyes land on it.

In a split-second he grabs Chris’s phone running out of the apartment to dial your number. He’s a panting mess but the sound of your voice let Sebastian’s heart flutter.

“Chris, is something wrong? I’m at the playground Matteo loves so much, you know, close to my house. Do you want to come around?” Not knowing what to do, Sebastian wants to imitate Chris's voice, but this would be wrong, and he clears his throat.

“Please don’t hang up, I stole Chris’s phone to hear your voice.” Sniffling Sebastian walks backward seeing Chris approach, angrily clenching his jaw. “I swear Chris will hit me right now. He had nothing to do with this.”

“Seb, please stop trying to get close to me. We are over for two years. This was your decision, not mine. I only try to live with the consequences of your actions. Find someone new to love…if you ever loved me at all…”

You end the phone call and Sebastian glances at the phone he stole from his friend, not knowing how to change your mind.

“Sebastian Stan give me back my phone! How old are you, dude? I swear if you hurt her…” Chris is angrily stalking toward his friend, shaking his head. “Give her some time!”

“She said I shall find someone new to love, if I ever loved her.” Sitting onto the sidewalk, looking at the phone in his hands Sebastian recalls the day he kicked you out of his life.

“I don't wanna love somebody else, Chris.” Sitting next to his friend Chris takes his phone out of Sebastian’s hands. “I don’t know if I’m the right one to give you advice. You are my best friend, but Y/N is my friend too. She’s been through too much over the last two years. I can’t let you hurt her again or force your way back into her life.”

“I know…”

“If you are honest about your intentions and if you still love this wonderful, smart and caring woman, you have to be patient and selfless this time. Give her time, only take what she offers and maybe you can have another chance, if not…” Chris sighs, squeezing his friend's shoulder. “You have to leave her alone.”

----

“That’s great, baby boy.” You try to fake a smile watching your son building a castle of sand with Loretta. She came around to help you over the last week as you were a mess once again. 

Seeing Sarah, hearing the insults and hurtful words made you vulnerable. The worst is, you always hear your son calling Sebastian ‘dadda’ and it breaks your heart.

Then he calls you this morning and the knots you thought left your stomach are back once again. You can’t let this man back into your life but maybe your son deserves to get to know his father.

“Loretta? Your brother is a lawyer, right?”

“Si, one of the best. He studied at Harvard and works in New York.” Loretta is more than proud of her little brother, you can see it all over her face. “Why, Bella?”

“I need to know everything about custody, shared custody and the rights of a father. Sebastian has way more money and I don’t want to lose my baby if he wants sole custody…” Loretta’s eyes round, before she picks your son up. “Bella, I don’t think he will do so. I guess he only wants to get to know this little boy…”

“Do you think I should allow Sebastian to see his son? Matteo called him ‘daddy’ last week. I’m so confused and got no clue what to do know. I can’t forgive him for what he did, but my heart still wants to reach out for him…” Sniffling you take your son out of Loretta’s arms.

“The heart wants, what the heart wants, Bella. We can’t always agree with our stupid hearts.” Nodding you look at your son smiling up at you.

“Find a nice Italian man! They are hot men, strong men with strong hands…” Loretta swoons and you chuckle at her words.

Oh, I built a world around you

Oh, you had me in a dream,

I lived in every word you said

The stars had aligned

I thought that I found you

And I don't wanna love somebody else

“Can you call your brother and ask him to send me all the information I need? I want to be prepared, just in case…”

----

Another week later Sebastian tries to leave the set when he bumps into one of the PAs, looking for him. “Mr. Stan, I’m sorry to disturb you but I got a letter for you.”

“Thank you.” Glancing at the letter Sebastian’s hands start trembling, that’s your signature. Heart beating a mile in a minute he rips the envelope open, there are only a few words written on the scented stationery.

We need to talk about Matteo, meet me at this place… That’s all Sebastian can read before he starts shaking. His vision is clouded by tears as he runs toward Chris standing in front of his trailer.

“She sends me a letter…” Voice raspy Sebastian hands his friend the letter but Chris doesn’t need to read it. You already talked about your plans. “I know, Seb. Y/N asked me for advice. I suggest you have a shower before you talk to her, you reek…”

“Okay…yeah…you’re right…”

Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping

Oh, that you will change your mind

And one day we could start again

----

Nervously glancing at the flower he bought Sebastian knocks at your door. The moment you let him into your house his heart begins to race. Your hair is in a messy bun, you are wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, but you are the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

“These are for you…” He manages to choke out as you lead him into your living room, pointing toward some papers.

“I want to talk about custody, Sebastian. I asked a lawyer for advice and want you to sign some papers.” Sebastian’s face falls, as he sits onto your couch, nodding.

“Okay…”

“I will have sole custody for Matteo, and you will agree to these terms but…” Taking a deep breath you place a picture of your son onto the table. “I will allow you to see him. My job here is almost done. I got a better job offer in the States and will move back…”

“I sign everything you want me to if I can see my son…” Sebastian’s hands are shaking as he blindly grabs the papers to sign them. 

“You should ask a lawyer first, Seb. I don’t want to defraud you.” Glancing at Sebastian you shake your head when he signs the papers without thinking twice. 

“I know you won’t do such a thing, Y/N. I learned from my mistakes. Can I…” Clearing his throat he looks around your house. “See him, please. Only for a minute…”

“You can stay till dinner, then you must leave. Matteo needs to sleep early; he woke up in the middle of the night.” Walking out of the living room you show Sebastian your son’s room. “His room is at the last one on the right, next to my bedroom.”

“I can go in alone?” Searching your face Sebastian gulps hard seeing the hesitation in your eyes. This is hard for you and he doesn’t want to make it harder. “Or do you rather come with me? I mean…uh…you’re his mommy.”

“Okay…”

----

“Look at my big boy! Did you grow over the last week?” Matteo is showing his father the dog he got from him. “You like the dog?”

“He won’t let it go. Slept with it over the last week, even refused to let it go during lunch and got it dirty. I couldn’t wash it as my son decided to cry every time I tried to get hold of the dirty plushie.”

Sebastian can’t hold back the smile at the sight of his son playing with the dog he gave him. Matteo is squealing, walking toward his father to place the toy in his hands. Your breath hitches in your throat as not even you could take the plushie out of your son’s hands.

Watching your son playing with his father, squealing you know that this was the right decision, even if it breaks your heart being close to Sebastian your son needs his father.

“Y/N, can we talk later?” Sebastian asks hopefully glancing at you. Your heart wants to race but you press your hand onto your chest, taking deep breaths. “About Matteo…?”

“About us…” His blue eyes search your face as you refuse to look at him. “No. There is no us, Seb and there will never be an us again. You made me leave and this is how it ended. I will allow you to see, Matteo Christopher, nothing else…”

“Please…”

“Do you know how hard this is for me, Seb? Do you have the slightest idea of how it breaks me inside to see YOU next to the son you abandoned along with me? I can or rather I don’t want to talk about us as this is in the past.” Sebastian nods, remembering the advice Chris gave him.

“I’m sorry for asking.”

----

Watching your son sleep you look at the floor, picking up the dirty plushie. Next to it lies a piece of paper and your necklace. Sebastian must have let someone repair it. 

Your eyes fill with tears at the single line he wrote onto the paper: I don't wanna love somebody else.

Well I don't care if loneliness kills me

I don't wanna love somebody else

Oh, I thought that I could change you

Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell

I know that it's time to tell you it's over

But I don't wanna love somebody else

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