#idk man life is really fucking killing me and i am just trying to wrap my head around how to survive this

[lycanr0t]

life is really like. testing me the past 4-5 years and boy it's. getting to me. like what do you do when every time a small good thing that you fought tooth and nail for happens a bigger, worse, MORE time sensitive and MORE invasive and WORSE thing happens that directly voids the good thing??? what do you do?

[sizzal]

Oh my darling Kiri X Reader❤️Pt2

Not my art) Hope you enjoy it!!!! 😆 🌺🪷🌻 Kiri x reader  Kiri and the reader both got out of a toxic relationship and have to navigate their feelings through self-discovery! Or sum shit    Fluff Angist, I don’t know what the fuck to call it; you know the shit! I had no idea where to go with this but here we go! This is part two but Idk. Tell me what you think

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

The rain hadn’t let up since it started late yesterday. The sun peaked through the curtains blinding your eyes as the rain pattered on the window. You adjusted to the amount of light pouring into your room and saw a beautiful Kirishima sleeping peacefully next to you. You were facing each other. You watched him sleep. When he breathed, the small sounds from his nose signaled he was going to be all right. That heartbreak had not killed him..yet. The worst was only to come. He had not been through the regret stage nor the shame or guilt or the absolute worst yet… the rebirth. Or the newly renewed person stage in other words. You put your hand on the side of his cheek and rubbed your thumb on his cheekbone. The room was still from no one moving until… Kiri grabbed your hand that lay on his cheek. His sudden movement was enough to make you jolt from the surprise attack. He brought his hand down to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the palm of your hand. His eyes fluttered opened his eyes. Those big ruby eyes stare straight back at you. There was this look of lustful love. 

“Hey, sweetheart”. He muttered while he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. He placed his head on the top of yours while you were squeezed in his chest. His hand tightly wrapped around your waist and back. You pushed and pulled trying to get out of his grasp. But to no avail. 

“No, let me out……..I’m squished”. You said but your words came out muffled and distorted. 

“I don’t think so beautiful….. you’re mine”. He said while placing a kiss on the top of your head and nuzzling his head into yours.  

“Littarly fuck off and die. I need to check the time idiot. We are going to be late for class”! You said still struggling to leave his iron grip. 

“It’s time for you to go to sleep for a long time…. just go into the light”. He said while pulling the covers over your head and tickling you. You immediately burst into laughter. Crying out

“Staopppp, fuck man this is inhumane, ahhhhh”. This only came out as a string of slurred words barely audible over the insistent laughing

“use your words, angel. I don’t know what you need”. he said increasing the speed at which he tickled. You thrashed and kicked and pushed under the covers. Nothing was working. You were stuck. Totally under the mercy of him. You could barely breathe. 

“NOoOoOo….. ff…uck man, this is messed up... MERCY, MERCY”! you screamed out laughing. He slowed down to a stop. And he lifted you out from the dark undercovers. You finally got a breath. He looked at you and smiled. Why was he smiling? He just got his heart crushed. He was always the type to make other people laugh just for the fun of it. Even if he was having the worst day of his life. 

“All better now? You really don’t put up that much of a fight you know. I don’t know about what the others say but it is so not true”. He said as he placed you back on the pillow you both shared and flipped over on top of you. He stared right into your eyes. He leaned down and…. moved right at the last second to grab his phone in which he then flopped back down right next to you. You finally took the time to check your phone and…

“Holly Fuck! Dude it’s 9:56 we are late for school. You need to get the fuck up now before the fucking principle in knocking on my door and we get detention”! 

“Fuck that… I am heartbroken. Let me die in this room”. He said as he exaggerated a sigh and pulled the covers way high over his face. You looked at him and told him, 

“Well you can get detention but I’m not doing that right now. I have way too much shit to deal with”. you said as you sat up and started for your bathroom door. 

“Oh no you don’t, you fast little sneaker. Trying to get away from me like that”. He said while pulling you back into bed with him with a thud. Before you could even leave the bed. 

“Noooooo, Eeee, I have to go this is so stupid. Let me gooooo. We can do this later”. You said kicking and shouting. But he just wrapped you up in his arms and cuddled into your body before saying-

“We are already late. We are going to get detention anyway let’s just take the day off. I need time to… what did you say I needed to do like… I don’t know meditate or sum”. He said as you stopped trying to leave his grasp. It was pointless. You went limp. 

“No, I need to shower”! 

Great idea, I’ll shower with you…”.

“What. NO! Are you just horny because you broke up with Misa or are you just cured? Like dude you were just crying for like four hours last night”. 

“I got it all out as you said. I cried for the whole night and I am over her. Let’s go to the skate park it will be fun”. 

Woah woah woah… you cried the whole night…..? Like when I was asleep or….”? 

“Yeah, when you were asleep like a cozy cat. I got up and cried. Then I saw you sleeping and realized that you were the one for me. I mean we have known each other for like since you moved from America 5 years ago. You have known me the longest and it’s like we have been dating for years”. He said as he pushed his face into your back cuddling you. His arms were tightly wrapped around your waist. You intertwined your fingers with his and you picked off his hand from your belly. You brought it up to your chest to cuddle. You lightly kissed his hand. He squeezed in response. 

“Yeah sure you have a point but isn’t this all fast Like how did you know I like you”? you said resting in his embrace. 

“Not really. From the looks of it, you really want this….”!

“What do you mean… “from the looks of this “?”. You said mocking his bit. 

“I read your diary…..”. He said as he shrugged against you.  

“I’M SORRY, WHAT”?

“Yeah it’s not a big deal…. I read how much you liked me and poof then it hit me”. 

“It’s a VERY BIG deal……….. How much did you read”??????

“Not all of it… ok all of it………..”. 

“You’re kidding?  right, Right”! 

“No….. I found it in your desk drawer”. 

“Yea I know where you found it but whyyyyyyyy. That was never supposed to be seen. Great now I look like an obsessed fan girl. Fuckkkkkkkk”. You said moving around to face him. He was more than pleased to see your face. He leaned over and gave you a smooch on your cheek. Making your cheeks flush. This was all you ever wanted but it was all over night.

“So will you date me….”? He said while he pulled you into his chest. You pushed away. Making his face go from happy to really sad within a matter of seconds. You neede to see his face.. to evaluate the actual situation at hand. If he really wanted this or if he just wanted a girl to get his mind off Misa.  

“Look there is no easy way to say this-“

“Fuck that! Just say yes. Don’t reject me because of some petty bullshit. I’m yours and your mine. Just say it. Don’t ruin this, just say yes”. He said cutting you off. 

“Well if you would let me finish then you would know this is not a rejection”. You said. His face went from angry to complacent. “ I just think you should take the necessary time to heal without having a s/o! It would be so beneficial to both you and your next partner. That being said…. I will wait for you. I can not let myself jump into a relationship with a man who just got broken up with. I have a higher self-value than that and you do too. Just take the time off and I will be here for you. Then when we both think you are good and all patched up then we can officially date”. You said while smushing both his cheeks in between your hands. 

“Okay…… Ill take the time off from my dating life….But can we fuck in the meantime”? He said while trying to give you a kiss. He chased your face while you laughed and eventually landed one on your cheek.

“You’re not for real… right”? 

“Deadass, right now. I’ll flip you over and fuck you from behind”  He said and laughed like a fucking little kid after being told a fart joke.

“HAHhaha you’re fucking sick. When did you get so crude? Like this is not the Kiri I know”. 

“Guess you don’t know everything about me…”. 

“Yeah right”. You said while leaning in to give him a smooch on the cheek. He took this as a smooch on the lips. He pressed his lips against yours and gave you a long and passionate kiss. You started to pull away..

“oH no you don’t my pretty”. He said before grabbing your head and kissing you longer. 

“Mmmmmhm” you groaned as you moved to each other’s rhythm of this long passage kiss. You both sat up to get a better advantage point. His hand was wrapped in your hair and the side of your face. As was yours. This was bliss at last the first time you felt life made sense.  You leaned into him and he was all over you. 

“I’ve been waiting for that for so long you know y/n,” He said while placing a smaller one all over your face. 

“You thought about me like that”?

“Oh girly you have no idea. It was getting unbearable especially when you were in that blue Bikini the other day". He started. He added 

“good god” He groaned. He put his hands over head face and drung them down until he hit his chest then he exhaled. You could practically feel the lust.

“Ermmm ok buddy let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Hey the rain stopped lets go eat”. You said while moving from your spot and garbing some sweats and heading into the bathroom to change. Happy he finally let you go.

Tell me if you like this. I have no idea where this was going but hey we are all still learning. I am not good at spelling so tell me if there are any mistakes. Hope you liked it...😅

This is part two of the series! This is new to me to....! ;)

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m behind on reading/commenting ugh. I did read one of the fics that updated but it made me sad. But like it wasn’t even really a sad fic, it was more open.

This is getting angry and ranty so I’m hiding it under the cut

But idk I’m just so so so tired of my queen being given the short end of the stick. Again it’s why I hella overcompensate and make him suffer. But it’s v annoying to me that he can do whatever and my queen will still love him? Fuck that bullshit. I’m sick of it. I’m sure it’s cause I’ve never been in romantic love so I don’t get it, but if that’s what it’s like I don’t want to understand. All these stories I hear of women staying in toxic relationships where as the men are always able to leave their shituationship and find better matches, is so difficult for me to wrap my head around. This is just in regards to the people in my real life and from some podcasts I listen to (and social media shit) but I swear the percentage is heavily skewed to women trying to save their shitty relationship while the men are able to break out of it.

Anyways, yeah it’s why I absolutely loathe fics where he’s a scumbag and my queen suffers but ultimately he gets to keep her. First that seems very ooc to me, but I also write him ooc too but just way opposite from that. So I guess whatever. But again I ask why must my queen suffer? Hasn’t she suffered enough? Why are we putting her through all this bullshit and tearing her down and making her believe she can only love this one man? Is this supposed to be romantic? Like what? Like oh wow, guess she’s so fucking lucky he decided to choose her after fucking around and being an absolute dick. Grody.

I swear I’m just too American or at least too much of a Vegas gal to be okay with this. Because I see this shit so much in fics and irl I am fucking terrified of it happening to me. To lose my complete sense of self for an underserving asshole who makes me question love? I would rather die. Like kill me please. Cause if there’s anything I know, it’s love. I’m Lots of Love for crying out loud! All forms of it! It’s not just romantic, but the rest of the world seems to think it’s the only one that matters. And I know I’m guilty of that too, cause I am to my core a hopeless romantic. But when it is pure. Not this brainwashed mess where men can be whores but women aren’t allowed to even look at another person.

Back on my fuck first love being the only love bullshit. I fucking hate this trope when it applies to only women. Not super fond of it with men either, but that’s more of a dig at my main fandom I can’t even enjoy anymore.

Would love to read a fic where she’s the player instead of him and it’s perfectly fine. Make him the one who wonders for fucking once. Does she love him? Maybe. Is she enjoying her life and fucking around? Absolutely and as she should! Not caring that she’s stringing him along cause he’s the back up that she knows she can always go back to, and maybe she does actually love him. Go figure.

Some days I get so angry I just want to write a fuck you fic, but also I don’t cause I hate writing and I have too many other projects I would rather finish so I never have to write again. But then I think about having to read these fics and noping out or sticking it out and being pissed even though I knew where it was going and I would hate it. And I’m like hella judgey but at least I’m not an awful person who leaves rude comments for a fic not meant for me. Yeah if you do that shit you’re a fucking asshole and I want nothing to do with you.

I didn’t intend to start this post off so angry, and now I don’t even remember my main reason for trying to make an update here. I’ve just annoyed myself and I need to leave or else I’ll be too tired for my hopeful boost of serotonin tomorrow (or today rather). I’m probably just irritated from being at the airport like all day. I love traveling but some airports and airlines suck.

Anyways main point, let Shiho bejeweled! Don’t keep her locked up in the basement! She’s a diamond, so let her shine damn it!

[offbrand-deltatraveler]

Whoever’s responsible for Aggretsuko’s horrible writing (Whether it’s the writers or just Netflix being a bitch):

I’m coming for your ass

I’m leaking your address and pulling a knife on you on your way home from work like the crazy fanboy dude who tried to kill Retsuko. Because just as she “ruined” OTM Girls’ music, you’re ruining this show

Not really (The threats. I’m not really gonna make good on the threats) but I cannot express how done I am with all the poor excuses this show makes to keep itself going when it realistically should’ve ended halfway through Season 3 (Or 2. I wasn’t really paying attention idk)

(Spoilers. Just in general, don’t read this until you finish Season 3)

There was literally nothing wrong with Retsuko and Todano’s relationship. He was right; They didn’t need to get married to have what other couples have. It’s just a piece of paper that was gonna put him in a tight spot he didn’t need. And she should’ve been able to understand that

And she realistically would’ve, considering she never even thought about starting a family until Mr. Tohn filled her head with a buncha nonsense. Telling her to “Make her own choices” when she was making her own choice by QUITTING HER SHITTY DEAD-END JOB AND LIVING WITH TODANO

They always crack Mr. Tohn up to be warming up to Retsuko and make it feel like they’re like non-friends and he’s just trying to help her out but no. He’s nothing but a manipulative backstabbing stuck-in-the-“good-old-days” piece of shit. He’s not her friend, he’s literally everything you could hate about the stereotypical old man and some. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s only keeping her around because she’s nice to look at and makes him tea (Oh wait, that’s because he literally is)

And don’t even get me started on OTM Girls

Say what you want, being a member of the OTM Girls was her destiny. Being on that stage giving the people what they want was a dream that she clearly intended to see through no matter what

Also they were literally the best characters next to Gory

And I know it looks like I’m gonna say she’s in the wrong for leaving after it almost cost her her life,

I’m not

I’m saying that the circumstances surrounding it, and the whole reason it was even in the script in the first place, is stupid as fuck

And to explain that, first we gotta start of with Inui

One day Haida bumps into a girl he’s heard of at work, they hit it off relatively quickly and become really good friends over the next few days, start hanging out what I’d assume is either every day or at least somewhere around that frequency, and they both get all blushy blushy around each other. They clearly have good chemistry, and it really feels like whoever’s running this cesspit of storytelling incompetence is actually planning to make a good decision that would give the arc of Haida having no bitches a decent send-off

It even gets to the point where she wants to come over to his house to hear him play the bass, and offers to cook for him. Hell, he’s closer with her than he ever was with Retsuko

And then along came those stupidass guitar lessons

Then fastforward to her almost being killed

And it’s not the fact that she left because she was almost killed. It’s why she was almost killed

If she didn’t leave OTM Girls, the show would’ve wrapped up. She’d finally be able to quit that stupid day job of hers and chase her dreams, and considering she was part of a rising idle group, she’d probably be traveling all over the world (Hell, she traveled to the capital just the other day). Which would leave Haida to eventually have to get over her and get together with Inui

It’d be a happy ending for everyone

But it wasn’t. Because shows like these can never just quit while they’re ahead can they

And to solve that problem, they make some crazy obsessive stalker dude try to kill her literally last fucking minute as an excuse

They gave us two possible happy endings and didn’t make good on any of them. TWO

And they couldn’t even at least make good on the bad one either. Instead they decide to end it off with possibly the most cringy and borederline problematic conversation I’ve ever seen two Sanrio characters have. And I’ve seen literally every part of Onegai My Melody where King, Hiiragi, or Shiroyama are on screen

As well as Keroppi’s Hello Kitty impression (That one’s not problematic though I just can’t watch it without dying inside)

I will never forgive this show for not only portraying Haida like a dismissive jerk during his song, as well as making him confess for the second time at the most inopportune moment imaginable, but also making Retsuko tear into him for absolutely no fucking reason (Well, kinda. She did have a reason, but comparing someone who’s supposed to be a friend to some crazy stalker who just tried to kill her is shitty no matter who you are and what you’ve gone through. Not to mention the whole “*Laughs in his face* You’re only brave because some app told you to be” thing. And on top of all that, she doesn’t even apologize after the fact. Neither of them do, for that matter)

But hey, at least something’s gonna progress now. Haida has confessed to Retsuko twice, and there’s no way they’re not together after something like Season 3’s Ending, right?

He’s confessed to her twice, saved her from an attempted murder, is said to be her soul mate, is WALKING HER HOME EVERY DAY, and they’re still not together

Yo Haida, Baku called. He wants his fucking Doggone Loser Beam back

Put this man under the Tapir Punishment and have him do the hunk episode. Fucking hell

Unfortunately I can’t go any further than this because I haven’t actually finished the first episode of Season 4 yet, but yeah. Fuck Aggretsuko, it’s Headcannoned Timeline Rewrite will be legendary in comparison

[dastardlydandelion]

i’ve honestly always wholeheartedly adored kirby tbh. i’ll never forget seeing scream 4 at a formative age and wanting to be just half as cool as her so bad lmaoo. i don’t know if this is really related at all but i think at least in 4, she was a little more flawed as a person than some people really pick up on. and i think those flaws genuinely make her a more interesting character. she’s a little rude, blunt, callous, whatever. doesn’t outwardly care too much about her friend getting brutally murdered right in front of her. still goes to stab-a-thon, has a good time, flirts with charlie, hosts an after party, brags about her movie knowledge. which good for her with the last one ❤️ but she does come off a little self involved. she’s also a teenager so. fair enough. but she obviously has a lot of good moments as well. she seems to care deeply for jill and shows a lot of courage, heart, and vulnerability in that final scene trying to save charlie’s life. she wasn’t perfect and that’s what makes her pretty compelling to me. i think mindy shares a lot of these qualities as well but she didn’t really get a heart and vulnerability moment like kirby did with the trying to save charlie debacle. i feel like she’ll be getting one in 6 though, not gonna lie. idk but i do love them both and i’m excited to see them again <3

agreed in full, buddy, agreed in full!!

and to be fair, as self-involved and blunt as she comes across, uh, even kirby's more callous lines don't compare to robbie tbh. iirc like, olivia's body is barely cold and he refers to her as "the girl who'll now never date me," or if not that exactly, something to the effect of it (now i have to re-watch scre4m yet again). like. fuck man.

also when kirby tried to save charlie (as far as she knew) and started shakily rattling off whatever remake come to mind, hayden panettiere's performance was so raw and compelling that on the first watch i didn't even realize it's supposed to be the film taking a crack at how derivative and lazy so many remakes are!! the commentary totally flew over my head bc i was so wrapped up in her urgency and desperation.

although my favorite kirby moment will always be when she yells at trevor after her interrupts her and charlie. her face is a whole mood, i swear if this movie had come out a handful of years later than it did kirby prolly would've become a reaction gif. 😂

and mindy! yes, ofc i adore mindy. and she is similarly kind of harsh. like when she refuses to go with richie to the basement and he goes alone and like, as soon as the door shuts behind him she's all, "well he's dead," and shoves her hand in a bag of chips. LMAO. to be fair tho, to be fair richie is irritating af and that prolly would've been my reaction too. anonymoose friend, i am sorry if u like richie but he just aggravates me, personally, he was getting on my nerves the whole movie.

i do feel we'll be getting more vulnerability from mindy come scream vi tho, more development for her character in general. jasmin savoy brown has the range!!! and already the super bowl ad heavily suggests her girlfriend is going to get killed.

i keep re-watching it (and all the other ads, ngl) trying to work out the mechanics of that scene.

it looks like anika is already wounded? she's covered in blood. yes, it could be someone else's blood but i'm thinking it's hers bc in the one shot it looks like mindy is helping her on the floor? it's blink-and-miss-it, but it's there, for the life of me tho, which trailer or tv spot was it in?? i don't remember, they're all blurring together. but also it seems that mindy gets on the ladder before anika does, that she's left her in the bloody bedroom (quinn's bedroom?) and that makes me wonder if the plan is for mindy to go first bc anika could potentially successfully play dead if ghostface enters the room, given that she's already injured. if that is the plan it clearly doesn't work, but. still.

anyway, yes, i love kirby and mindy and i'm very excited to see them both again and hopefully we'll get some good interactions between them too!!

[vamptastic]

wish i didn't stop going to temple regularly this past year because i have been thinking a lot about the holocaust leading up to my senior trip (we are going to dachau for a day and i am very worried what my some of my very very sheltered, christian, white, preppy classmates will say afterwards).

i have talked about it with my mom a bit but she's very stressed right now with her college class and i don't want to be dumping all that on her every day. but my dad grew up catholic and is still in the process of converting, and idk hes just not as involved in jewish identity and doesn't see judaism as a ethnicity/race the same way me and my mom do, so i don't know if he can fully understand the kind of grief im trying to process right now.

i think mostly i am having a more difficult time grappling with the reality of what happened right now because i have not spent nearly as much time with jewish elders and so it's easy to forget that we're still very alive and that people survived and not all was lost.

there are just so many little things i hear that make me so angry and sad and disbelieving about the massive massive hatred and disregard for human life. there was this one anecdote i heard, where josef mengele was searching for an assistant, and out of the lineup of new auschwitz inmates he asked who was a doctor, and 50 or so people raised their hands, then he asked for a forensic pathologist, 5 hands, then one who had trained at a specific university, one man left, who was forced to perform an autopsy on a decayed, gangrenous corpse in front of him to prove his aptitude and was then essentially his slave until the camp was liberated.

and the story of that individual man is horrible, obviously, but what really struck me was the other 49 doctors who were just. killed. 49 doctors. Forty-nine! obviously all life has value, but it drives in the fact that our accomplishments and merits as a people just did not matter, there was nothing you could do to earn your humanity. for fucks sake, heisenberg (of the heisenberg uncertainty principle) was widely ridiculed for using 'jew science' because he based his work on the theories of albert einstein.

and then there are the demographic changes. im basing this off of loose memory here, but ashkenazi jews went from like 20% of the global jewish population to 80% after the holocaust (i have tried to find out WHY that happened but all i can find is the raw statistics). it's far from the only one in jewish history but the holocaust is a classic example of a bottleneck event and it's so fucking hard to fathom how much our genes have been affected by the repeated occurrences of interference with natural selection through forced reproductive isolation and rapid reductions in population.

it's just, it's such a huge event, so (blessedly) few times has this happened to a people, so few other diasporic peoples exist, especially ethnoreligious groups, and i feel like people who are not jewish or close with jewish people cannot wrap their head around why i care so much, beyond historical interest. and i do love jewish history its just, this is not a love, this is a need to understand.

there is always this sense of who cares, jews are so sensitive caring about things from nearly a century ago, it's not even real to me. but the more you learn the more its so painfully scarily real and the more you have to grapple with the fact that you can be hated so much for something so simple as ethnicity and religion that the most awful unspeakable things can be done to you and nobody will really care.

idk i don't have an answer here, obviously, i just wish i could talk to people at temple about this but i haven't been in ages and its such a heavy topic.