#idk man. when i went to take a nap i had cramps and a bit of a headache but that was it

[myatlantispoets]

so like. am i having a bloody migraine rn

i don't need this shit rn, i have a project to finish

[that-sw-writer]

If you’re taking requests, hear me out...

Kylo x reader

Disney princess Mulan style. Reader is in the knights of Ren but no one knows she’s a girl! Kylo is the first to find out maybe by walking in on her changing or something idk whatever you think would be the best. I thought of this after reading intoxicated which both parts were awesome by the way!!

I’m so sorry that you’ve waited about a century for me to finish this... but I tried to make up for that by including a zesty meme to go with this lmao

Also I’m glad you enjoyed intoxicated, it’s literally one of my favourite things I’ve ever written!! I hope this one shot is what you had in mind!

MASTERLIST

Paring: Female Knight of Ren!Reader/Kylo Ren (Mulan inspired)

Word count: 4582

Warnings: mentions sex and kylo ren is briefly a bit of a dick

(context for the dank meme will be provided when you read)

I’ll Make a Man Out of You

You were struggling today, more than most months. Usually you managed to get through stomach cramps with a few painkillers, but today you were practically keeling over, and it hadn't escaped the notice of the other Knights of Ren.

"Nuren? You okay?" Kuruk had asked you in the midst of sparring, noticing that your movements were sloppy as you tried to ignore the crippling pain in your stomach.

"Yeah, I'm just feeling a bit under the weather." You tried to play it off, your voice coming off modulated due to your helmet. You were the only knight who always wore their helmet, the others took theirs off to socialise but you had to keep your secret safe, so you had told them from day one that you had taken an oath to never allow any sentient being to see your face, something you knew was common amongst the Mandalorian clans.

It was a solitary life, lying every day to the people whom you cared about more than anyone else, but you were in too deep to tell them to truth now. There had never been a woman amongst the Knights of Ren, and that wasn't likely to change - at least, not as far as anyone knew. You would just continue to miss out on drinking and eating with your brothers, being forced to sit in the corner and try your best to join in with their merriment.

Even your leader, Kylo Ren, had no idea of the truth. For years now you had concealed your gender from them, but you had never intended for it to go this far. You had joined the knights when they had come to your homestead seeking your brother, who was Force sensitive. He hid when they had shown up and you sent the knights on a cold trail to look for him, but after they left you had considered things. You were desperate for an escape and for adventure, plus you were also Force sensitive, so you had decided to drop everything and chase after them in place of your brother. You had concealed your identity by donning simple armour, which was soon replaced once they had taken you on board.

You took on the name Nuren, which meant 'woman' in your planet's dialect - hidden in plain sight, and you had never looked back. Sure, nothing about it was easy, but you wouldn't dare quit, you quickly found yourself enjoying the training, missions and most importantly: the brotherhood.

"Perhaps we should call it a day." Kylo raised his hand to stop the sparring, his gaze unsurprisingly fixated on you. "Nuren, go to the med-bay if you need to." Despite being a terrifying Supreme Leader to most, Kylo Ren cared about his knights, although little did he know that you had just gotten your period - there was nothing seriously wrong with you.

Over the years you had learnt a lot about concealing your emotions, particularly those where Master Ren was concerned. There were thousands of people in the galaxy whom you could have fallen for, but you had to choose to fall for Kylo Ren - the one man you could never have, for more reason than one. Most obviously: he thought you were a man who could under no circumstances remove his helmet in front of other people. But aside from that, even if he did know the truth, how could it ever work? You were one of his knights. Although admittedly, you had spent a lot of time alone at night dreaming that it could work.

"That's okay Master Ren, I think I just need to rest." You stood tall as you spoke to him, despite the sharp pain that was still twisting your stomach.

"Very well." He nodded, dismissing you all, but you could see the look of concern still on his face.  Curse these cramps for ruining training for you.

You retired alongside your brothers after that, still trying to ignore just how much pain you were in, but they were unsurprisingly teasing you about it.

"One little stomach ache takes Nuren down? This is the same guy I once saw singlehandedly take on a Nightsister right?" Cardo gave you a bolshy nudge and the others all laughed.

"He's right, I knew the food they served up on this base was crap, by I didn't realise it was that crap." Trudgen then jested, and you laughed along with them, knowing that this was just how they behaved.

"You think I eat that shit?" You snorted as you all made your way back to your shared common area.

There was a large communal area where the knights all socialised together and attached were seven bedrooms, each sealed behind private blast doors.

"Since we're done for the day, who fancies a drink?" Ap'lek asked the moment you all stepped foot inside, moving over to produce multiple bottles of beer from the fridge.

The others all mumbled in agreement, moving to take off their helmets and make themselves comfortable. Despite knowing that you would decline, the knights never failed to ask you to join them and they had no idea how much that simple gesture meant to you, let alone how much you wanted to accept it.

"How about it Nuren? Nothing like alcohol to cure sickness." Ushar grinned, but you reluctantly shook your head.

"I think I might just turn in and take a nap." You said, your brothers all bidding you farewell before you disappeared behind the doors that lead to your quarters.

As soon as you were alone, you shed yourself of the heavy helmet, as well as the outer layers of your armour. Carrying around that much weight on your body whilst on your period should have been a crime.

Rather than collapsing onto the bed, you moved to dig through your drawers where you had a stash of painkillers hidden for these exact moments - hopefully they would at least give you a few pain-free hours so you could spend some time with the other knights before they got too drunk.

Swallowing down the pill, you knew it would take some time to kick in so you opted to soak in a warm bath until them, that usually helped. From your refresher you could vaguely hear the others all laughing and having fun together. It pained you more and more every day have to be such an outsider, but you feared that if you revealed the truth to them they would never accept you.

You tried not to let your thoughts dwell on negative things whilst you bathed, but it was hard not to. You had everything you ever wanted - but you didn't have it, as far as anyone else was aware your brother was the one living this dream. Could you really go on like this forever? The answer was: yes. You had no choice, you would die with your secret one day.

You eventually left the refresher, a towel wrapped securely around your body. Thankfully, this time your painkillers were actually working, so with any luck you'd be able to join your brothers and simply watch them drink and wish you could join in - just as you always did.

When you pulled on your undergarments you wrapped tight bandaging around your chest to flatten it. It was beyond painful to wear every day, but definitely easier than explaining why you had breasts...

You tugged on your slightly baggy trousers, and your even baggier undershirt. You found that clothes with less shape worked better. However, before you could sweep your hair back into a clean bun and put your helmet on, you heard the blast doors to your room open.

The knights knew to never walk into each other's private quarters unannounced, and there was surely only one other person who could possibly be in the knights' common area.  But why would he be in here?

"I wanted to check that you're okay-" Kylo began, clearly not focusing as he entered.  But when his voice trailed off you knew that he had laid eyes on you.

With your heart in your mouth, you slowly turned around to confirm your worst nightmare. Kylo Ren stood staring at you, his mouth slightly agape. Clearly he hadn't known what to expect, but this was far beyond the parameters of his imagination.

"I can explain-" you quietly said, your voice coming out as nothing but a mere whisper. Your heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest.

Clearly just as unsure how to process what he had seen as you were, he simply turned on his heel and fled the room, quickly marching out of the knights' common area altogether.

There was no time for you to panic, you forced yourself to take a deep breath, pulled your helmet on and took off after him, still only wearing your under-layers. As you dashed out, your brothers paid you little mind, they were too caught up in their conversation to notice the commotion.

"Master Ren, wait." You called to him as he was striding ahead of you.

In one sharp motion he turned to you, pushing you against the wall, his gloved hand clasped around your neck where he could see wisps of hair falling out from beneath your helmet.

"I want you to leave this base, and pray that I never see you again." He was cutting off your airwaves, but nevertheless you still attempted to choke out.

"M-Master Ren, please. I-I had to lie." You tried to explain, your voice coming out as a  strained croak.

"And now you have to leave." He hissed, the betrayal in his tone was clear. Without another word he released you and went storming off down the corridor again.

You had no idea what to do, or who to turn to. Perhaps it was just best to heed Kylo's warning and leave. You feared that if Kylo's reaction had been nothing short of death threats, you would be met with a very similar reaction from your fellow knights, but part of you also thought that they deserved to know the truth before you abandoned them.

Besides, now you had nothing left to lose.

When you arrived back in the common area, the knights were all lost in their merriment. Clearly a few drinks down, you could tell they were slightly tipsy, although perhaps that would make this easier.

"I need to tell you something." You planted yourself in the middle of the room, and were immediately met by jeering, something you would've normally embraced and enjoyed, but now your reaction was stone cold.

"Hopefully you're telling us that you're ready to have some fun!" Cardo bellowed, "c'mon Nuren, loosen up a bit."

"No." You grumbled, "I wish I could." Before you open yourself up to more teasing, you reached up and unlatched your helmet, silently revealing the truth to the knights. "You came to my planet looking for my brother, but you got me instead." You quietly explained, dreading the reactions that were to come.

It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop, and part of you feared that they would kill you on the spot for lying to them. Slowly, your brothers rose to their feet, seemingly sobering up in that moment.

"So for all these years, you've been pretending to be your brother?" Ushar asked, his voice level, so much so that you couldn't read his emotions.

"Yes." You hung your head in guilt.

The ominous silence fell once more, and you couldn't bear it any longer. However, as you opened your mouth to speak, a stifled laugh broke through the crippling silence.

You whipped around and saw Kuruk with a hand covering his mouth. "Sorry it's just-" before he could finish there were more uncontrollable laughs escaping his lips. Clearly this laughter was contagious, because before you knew it it was spreading throughout the room.

"I-I can't believe you said you had taken an oath t-to not take the helmet off!" Ap'lek struggled to get his words out through the laughter, "a kriffing oath!" He exclaimed, leaning on Vicrul who was beside him, as they tried to regain their composure.

"This... is really not the reaction I was expecting." Entirely unsure of what to do, you just stood and stared at them all as they continued to crease in fits of laughter. But after a few moments you found yourself unable to avoid the contagious laughter, but you of all people really had no clue what you found so funny.

You were all in stitches for another few minutes before it died down, and despite the circumstances the laughter made you feel as though some of the weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Knowing that your fellow knights weren't angry at you was a much needed relief.

"So why not tell us the truth?" Vicrul eventually asked once they could form coherent sentences.

"The Knights of Ren was no place for a woman." You sighed, throwing yourself down on the couch with your head in your hands, "I wish I had told you earlier, but I always thought you'd be angry - I really didn't expect the laughing fit."

"C'mon Nuren, you should have known us better than that. No matter what, we're brothers... well, now you're our first sister." Ushar chuckled, giving you a solid pat on the back.

As the others echoed his sentiment, you appreciated more than anything that they weren't treating you any differently just because of your gender. There was still that sense of familiarity, and the brotherhood... it was just a shame you couldn't stay.

"So why tell us now?" Ap'lek eventually asked.

"Master Ren-" your tone immediately became more downcast as you remembered the gravity of the situation, "he found out the truth, and he told me to leave. I thought before I go I at least owed you all the truth."

Glances were exchanged, before Cardo spoke up, "no, we won't let you leave."

Your heart nearly burst out of your chest at the gesture, but you couldn't allow yourself to fall into that safety blanket. "Master Ren will have my head if I stay. I betrayed him, and you all know how he responds to betrayal."

"But you forget Nuren, you're a Knight of Ren, and we never leave a brother behind." Trudgen said. "...Or a sister." He then hastened to add.

><><><><><><><><><><><

It had only been a week since everyone had found out the truth. Whilst your fellow knights actually gotten on better with you now that you could drink and socialise with them, the same could not be said for Kylo Ren.

Firstly, he was less than happy about being undermined when it came to you leaving the base. Now you were a constant reminder of his own empty threat. But more importantly, what you didn't realise was that he wanted you gone more than ever because he was developing an inexplicable attraction to you. The worst part was, it wasn't just physical. Whilst he would sit moping in the corner he could see the way you were around the other knights - they clearly adored you, and the fact that a female presence was actually having a positive effect on the group made it even harder for Ren to despise you. He saw the way you could light up a room, and he couldn't help but want you. He was angry for allowing himself to feel such a way, and that unfortunately manifested itself as anger towards you.

The other knights, meanwhile, couldn't possibly look at you in such a way. Perhaps had they met you for the first time as strangers, they would have relentlessly flirted with you as they did so many other women. But you had all spent too much time together in too many awkward situations to ever see each other as more than adopted-siblings.

You were so relieved to finally be able to relax around the knights, but there was always that tension whenever you were around Master Ren. You had been desperately trying to prove yourself to him to show him that you were the same knight you had always been, regardless of your gender - although deep down you knew that it had nothing to do with the fact you were a woman, it was the fact that you had lied to him...

Although for Kylo it was none of these. He knew he had overreacted when he'd first found out the truth, and now he was relieved that the other knights had vouched for you and made him change his mind and let you stay.

You were all sat in the common area, your legs casually thrown over Trudgen's lap for comfort. You each had a drink in hand, as was standard practise for you all on evenings when you had nothing else to do.

"I seriously don't think I can go much longer putting up with him constantly glaring at me." You scoffed, discussing Kylo's apparent hatred of you.

"Sure he used to do that, but now I don't think he's glaring... I don't know, I'm just not getting the same angry energy off him that I was last week." Ap'lek pondered, shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Your brow furrowed, but Kuruk was quick to catch on.

"No, Ap'lek's right. He's not glaring, he's staring." He playfully smacked his forehead, "I can't believe we didn't spot it sooner."

"Holy shit, you're right." Vicrul was next to chime in.

You all had a low-level bond through the Force, so you knew pretty much what they were thinking, but that didn't mean you agreed with them.

"Oh come on, Master Ren won't even talk to me anymore and you think that means he likes me? He literally had his hand around my throat a week ago." You snorted, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, well maybe you enjoyed that." Trudgen teased you from the other side of the sofa, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, but you swiftly threw a cushion at his face to shut him up.

"It makes so much sense the more I think about it." Ap'lek laughed, shaking his head, "he won't talk to you because he doesn't know how to process emotions. Come on Nuren, when have you ever seen him flirt, or even be nice to a woman?"

Before you could reply, Vicrul summarised it, "it's because he doesn't know how!" At that they all hollered and nudged each other in agreement.

"You're all out of your minds," you laughed, "he wants me dead, not-" before you could finish your sentence with a crude joke, the blast doors flew open to reveal the man himself, and you immediately all fell silent.

It wasn't necessarily unusual for him to come and join you all in your living area, but he hadn't done so since he found out the truth about you. Not to mention, he had picked an awful moment to enter.

"What? You all look like someone's died." He huffed, helping himself to a drink before moving to sit down.

You meanwhile did the opposite and removed your legs from Trudgen's lap and stood up, retiring to your quarters without another word. You didn't particularly want to put up with his glaring, or 'staring' as the knights had now deemed it.

There was nothing to do in your quarters, and you immediately realised that you had just stormed off and now were stuck, so you made a point of dressing in some simple training clothes and heading back out to walk through the common area with your helmet in hand. You pulled it over your head before leaving the rest of the knights alone with Kylo and went off to your training area to run some drills alone.

In your absence, and after their apparent revelation, the other knights decided that that it was time to address the elephant in the room with Kylo.

"Master Ren, you know Nuren thinks that you hate her, right?" Ushar said, to which Kylo just tried to play it off with a nonchalant shrug.

"I don't hate her." He said, his tone not wavering. He certainly didn't want any of them finding out the truth behind his cold behaviour.

"Trust me, we know that." He replied, in a very pointed tone which made it clear that they had worked out the truth about Kylo's feelings, "but she doesn't know that." He then added.

He clearly wanted to protest, but it was obvious that the knights could see right through him and his nonchalance.

They simply all stared at him, expectantly, until eventually Kylo exhaled a heavy sigh, taking a long drink before speaking again. "Fine, I get the point." He rose to his feet, "I'll go and talk to her." He reluctantly agreed to do what he had been dreading. He had no idea how to process any emotion that wasn't anger.

As soon as he left, the knights began discussing every possible outcome. Little did you know that they had practically planned your wedding, since they had decided that not only would you be good for Kylo, he would be good for you.

Blissfully unaware of everything that had just happened, you were alone in the training room swinging a blunt training weapon against a dummy, who was taking the brunt of your frustration. You had left your helmet by the door.

When the blast doors opened to reveal a sheepish looking Kylo Ren, you were less than happy - and it was written all over your face. Nevertheless, you stood to attention.

"Master Ren." You nodded, "I thought you were with the others." You desperately wanted to replicate his bad attitude and make a cutting remark, but you knew that simply wouldn't help your case. No matter what, you had to show respect to your leader.

"I came to talk to you." He said, his tone coming out much darker than intended.

"With all due respect Sir, if you want me to leave that badly, it's the other knights you need to talk to - they're the reason why I'm still here." You relaxed your stance and went back to swinging at the dummy as you spoke.

"That's not it." He said, walking around to stand behind the dummy so he was in your eye-line, "I'm glad you're still here." He eventually admitted, practically through gritted teeth. Every muscle in his body had stiffened.

You stepped back from your training, brow furrowed, "you are?" You hated the way your heart rate increased at his words. Through it all, you still couldn't deny your own attraction to Kylo Ren, perhaps that was why his cold attitude had been so hurtful to you.

"Yes." He plainly said, having no inclination of what else he could possibly say.

"Then why are you acting so off with me?" You hesitantly asked, at which point he looked down at his feet. This had been the question he was hoping you wouldn't ask, because he was afraid to answer it.

"I-" he began, before sealing his lips again. Whatever words he wanted to say simply wouldn't form in his mouth. He was truly tongue-tied, but thankfully his body decided that it was ready to move again - actions did tend to speak louder than words.

Boldly, he moved towards you and captured your lips in a heated kiss, pouring all the words he couldn't say into this gesture.

You were stunned to say the least, your training weapon falling to the floor. But it wasn't long before your lips responded and returned the kiss. Kylo's arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush against him, your hands resting on his chest.

However, it didn't take long for your brain to catch up and you briefly pulled away from his lips for long enough to speak. "So you... like me, like me, and you tried to show me that by being miserable around me?" You asked him, just needing to clarify his odd behaviour.

Suddenly feeling much looser now that he had made a move, he responded with a smirk, "did it work?" He teased.

"Not so much, I think you perhaps need to try being less of an asshole in future Master Ren." You responded with a snarky remark, knowing that you could definitely get away with teasing him now.

"I think from now on, just Kylo is fine." He exhaled a short laugh and leaned back in to kiss you.

It wasn't long before you either had to break away, or have sex right there in the training room and you both silently agreed that the latter wasn't really a practical option.

"Your quarters?"  You prompted, still tangled in his arms.  Really this whole scenario still felt surreal to you.  You had crushed on Kylo Ren for longer than you cared to admit, then when he had found out the truth about your gender he had reacted less than favourably... and now suddenly here you were.  Only he could react to developing feels for you by acting as though he hated you.

His face dropped and he grimaced slightly, "we-uh, we can't."  He sheepishly explained.

"Why not?"  Your brow furrowed, immediately thinking that taking him back to your quarters would be quite an embarrassing affair with all of the other knights being in the common area.

"There are technicians in there repairing Lightsaber damage."  He said it casually, but you could read between the lines well enough to know that 'Lightsaber damage' meant that he'd had a tantrum and trashed his own quarters.

"Are you brave enough to come to my quarters?"  You smirked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I think you're overestimating how much they'll care."  He said, and you definitely couldn't fault his optimism, but you knew that the knights most certainly would care.

With the steamy moment beginning to waste away you hastily walked side by side back to the Knights of Ren's common area.  You had your helmet on again as you walked, but as soon as you entered you removed it, and it still felt surreal that you now had that freedom.

"Nuren, is that you?"  Kuruk's voice was the first to call out, none of them turning around from where they sat, still with drinks in hand.

"Yep, it's me."  You quickly said, ushering Kylo into your quarters in the hope that none of them would notice.

"Did you and Master Ren kiss and make up?"  Cardo asked, clearly teasing you, but chose to turn around at simply the perfect moment to catch you in the act.

Halfway through the blast doors to your private quarters you and Kylo froze, and a sheepish grin rose up onto your lips.

"Oh so you literally kissed and made up."  Ushar then said, the smirks appearing on all of their lips foreshadowing some relentless teasing.

"Well... kinda."  You tried to play it off, but before you could make any poor excuses, Kylo simply pulled you through the doors and had his lips on yours as they shut behind you.

As you guided him back towards the bed, you could hear the knights outside loudly wolf-whistling and jeering.

You had only wanted to be able to take your helmet off comfortably around the knights - now you not only had that, you had Kylo Ren too.  In exchange for that you could definitely put up with the teasing from your brothers.

[ceratonia-siliqua]

hey um, idk if ur taking suggestions rn, but would u be up to do a short fluffy thing with trans peter (or whoever, really) dealing with period cramps and getting comfort (probs from tony)? (i sent this previously to send-me-your-headcanons, but I wasnt aware they didn't do trans characters and they recommended reaching out to u, among a couple others) :)

I do write trans character lucky for you! Not very often since it’s close to home but I went for it and tonight was one of those nights even I needed some good trans vibes. 

I went with an irondad angle but you can read it however you’d like, I’m just not one to write them as a ship normally so I do apologize if that was what you wanted!! 

Warnings: None other than some mention of periods and one mention of a uterus. 

The rolling pain was bubbling in his groin with a vengeance.

 To say it hurt was an understatement. It was a constant bombardment he not only didn’t want but didn’t need. It drove him to bed and his heating pad, the cramping bad enough the average pain killer wasn’t enough to do more than take the worst of it off. 

It must have been a few hours into the throws of day two of his period when Tony came to check on him. A concerned parent despite their lack of relation as he practically barreled down the door to see what was keeping Peter cooped up inside. Too tired and achy to deal with a lecture on disappearing without telling anyone, he rolls to face the wall, trying to fall back into his fit full napping. 

“Peter,” The notes of concern present and ill timed as a wave of pain crashed into him. Attempting to quell the nauseating sensation, he curled up, pressing on his pelvis in a vain attempt to stop some of it. “Kid, what’s wrong? You don’t look like you’re doing so hot.” 

The bed sinks as Tony sits on the edge of his bed, a gentle palm resting between his shoulder blade. It’s quiet between them, Peter not wanting to explain the situation. Tony knew already, but that didn’t make it something he wanted to talk about. Tony sees that the situation isn’t going anywhere and switches gears. 

“What can I do to help you?” 

That’s just a little bit easier. “Something to help with the cramping. Anything really.” He grits it out, jaw clenching painfully but unable to ease up until things settled again. God, this was the worst. 

“Cramping… Oh.” It seemed to click now and Tony was moving. Peter shut his eyes, wanting just to sleep. He nearly jumps when hands come to rub his back in long, flowing movements. He heard some muttering and guessed it must be the man talking to either an AI or an actual human about getting something over to them. Whatever it was, he hoped it was fast. 

Tony keeps him tucked in, comfy as possible with his hands now moving to rub over roughly where his kidney’s sat. It was a parental gesture, one that was just ever so enduring even despite his bitch of a uterus trying to tap dance it’s way out of him. 

Eventually, a hot water bottle magically appears and replaces the heating pad at his front, the pad now being shifted under him. It was warm and eventually, he asked for the heating pad to go and it vanished like it had never been. A pill meant to counterbalance his metabolism and actually provide some relief was pressed into his palm and he took it, greedily chugging water to wash it down. 

Content now to wait it out with not much else to do, he loosens up and does his best to relax. Tony is still there, now rubbing his belly and jokingly patting it, teasing him now and again. Enough to pull the softest of laughs out of him. 

Periods may suck ass, but at least this one sucked just a little less.

[killer-benhardy]

Studio Lovers

Roger Taylor/Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader

Request: Okay I have an idea. Roger Taylor x reader (set in the farm) when they’ve been ~secretly~ dating for a while and the boys hear them in in the morning (if ya know what I mean 😉). Then they go down for breakfast and the boys know what’s up so they start to make jokes about them by maybe saying things like “ohhh rogerrr”. Just a suggestion but I think it’ll be funny, thanks :)

A/N: okay but like this is the most horrible thing i’ve ever written. i’m so sorry lol. and this is meant to be set when they obviously start recording ‘a night at the opera’ but like this gif isn’t 1975 roger taylor but he’s just sexy so we’ll go with it. and yes i put in a gif of ben cause i like him a lot. and idk if all the members of queen even drive but hey there you go lol

You have been following Queen for some time now and you were actually quite close with all the members. Freddie, Brian, Roger and John loved spending time with you, although you were exceptionally close with Roger. Not only that but you and Roger have been secretly dating for the past few months. And surprisingly, no one has found out since everyone in Queen just think you’re one of Roger’s groupies. Not saying that it hurt a bit, but you also found it believable.

It’s not usually normal to be one to say to your boyfriend, “just take a few groupies around to places a few times a week so then they wouldn’t get suspicious.” Even though you two were quite an obvious couple. Your ‘secret’ meetings weren’t that secret since both of you would take any chance to shag anywhere, which included the bathroom, recording studio couch and many other countless places.

Although today, you decided to go to the recording studio with a tray of coffees to find the boys experimenting with their instruments. You saw Roger on his drum kit hitting cymbals with no kind of beat whatsoever, John writing some lyrics onto paper, Brian on his guitar most likely trying to figure out a new guitar riff and Freddie bouncing around the place like a mad man.

You excitedly waved to Roger through the glass, raising the tray of coffees, signalling that you had them. He stopped playing his drums and ran towards you.

“You are definitely amazing,” he smiled taking his cup. He patted the top of your head, but that’s when John walked in. Roger just messily scruffed up your hair, of course ruining your hair.

“Roger dear, I don’t think that Y/N appreciate what you’re doing,” Freddie commented, taking his coffee from you. “I now have to fix my hair because of you,” you glared at Roger.

“Now I think we should tell Y/N about that thing we talked about,” Brian said taking a sip of his drink. Plans? It was most likely going to be something along the lines of either planning a kind of party, get together or something for their studio practices.

“Of course,” Freddie flicked his wrist, “we’re planning to go out to start recording our next record. And drummer boy asked me to ask you if you wanted to come, my dear.” You looked in Roger’s direction and he just sipped his coffee giving you a cheeky wink.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

The trip to the unknown location wasn’t desired. Yes, the five of you were in the band’s van but you were all quite cramped. Freddie didn’t tell you where you heading off to and he would always reply, “I said I wanted to surprise you, darling. It’s just a recording studio, my dear.”

And he was correct. Everything you knew was just the fact that you were tagging along with the boys while they recorded their new record. Of course, they didn’t think much of it since Roger would often want at least one girl to occupy him while recording. But no one actually knew where you were all going beside Brian and Freddie.

“Why did we have to bring John and Brian’s guitars? I’m getting squished!” You yelp. It was John, Roger and yourself who were sat in the back of the van. And yes, apparently having to hold two guitars was too painful for you to do.

“Thank goodness we didn’t have to bring that drum kit of yours. I would be dying in a sea of instruments,” you dramatically lied down onto Roger’s lap. It was somewhat difficult to do so since there were no seats, just crates and instruments. John would give the both of you some questionable glances.

There would be the occasional, “I’m so happy you’re my girlfr- girl. I’m so happy you’re my girl,” from Roger. You would always giggle at him as he tried not to be so obvious but John could see right through you. You finally decided to take a nap, resting on Roger’s shoulder.

“You two are a couple aren’t you?” John stated. You quickly took your head off of Roger’s shoulder and kept repeating ‘no’s’. But before you could say anything to defend yourself, the van stopped moving which meant you got to the recording studio.

“Come on, she’s just a groupie. Besides, she ain’t even big enough,” Roger spoke with his eyes falling towards your breasts, making you quickly cover yourself. He chuckled, winked at you and put on his sunglasses before opening the doors of the van. You stepped out of the van, thinking to land onto some kind of concrete or even gravel.

Squish.

That was mud. Your first thought of the ‘recording studio’ was that it just looked like a farm.

“Recording studio?” Roger asked with his pair of newly bought clogs (from Brian) making contact with the ground. Which of course made Brian furious.

“I just bought those clogs just yesterday, Rog,” Brian grunted. It made everyone else laugh at his comment.

“This is Rockfield Farm, darlings!” Freddie announced with excitement. You all took your bags and went into the townhouse and got into a room each, although you have to share with Roger. Obviously, Freddie took at the biggest room, with you and Roger having the next biggest size, then Brian but John had the basement all by himself.

Before you even had the chance to put down your own suitcase, Roger placed his hands onto your waist shocked by the coldness. He planted a soft kiss onto your neck, making you feel a bit ticklish.

“Mr Taylor. If you’re thinking of anything else besides writing a new song for the record, we aren’t doing that,” you smirked, “and I’m sorry that I’m apparently not ‘big enough’ for you.”

“You’re just upset because I was telling the truth, Y/N,” he mocked, blowing a kiss towards you.

“Well, suit yourself. Maybe you’re not enough for me,” you said, making a dramatic exit. And surprisingly after you left, he started writing his song. Although it wasn’t quite the song you were expecting.

It was close to twelve am and Roger was still writing his song, while you were enjoying a game of scrabble with the rest of the boys. “This is unbelievable! How could I have lost to Brian again?” “My dear, no one can beat him.”

“Another round?” John clasped his hands together. Your eyes drifted to the ceiling. You were thinking of Roger. “Why don’t we all get some rest? We’ve got to do lots of recording later,” Brian noticed you staring. You hugged everyone before running upstairs to see Roger shirtless tapping two pencils on his legs.

“Having fun, are you?” You were leaning against a doorframe, with a huge smirk on your face. He definitely looked very attractive.

“Not really. Not as much fun as I do with you,” Roger chuckled, “nearly finished my song though. I’ll show it to the boys at breakfast.” You walked over to the bed and started reading his lyrics. You skimmed through his writing, you spoke, “with my hand on your grease gun? Now, what exactly does this mean?”

“Why don’t I show you?”

--

“Do you hear that? Is that them?” Brian popped the question downstairs. By this time, Roger should have already come downstairs to be cooking breakfast. But he was a bit preoccupied.

“My dear, they’ve been going on for hours. I don’t know how they do it,” Freddie responded taking a bite out of his toast. Freddie, Brian and John were all waiting for the both of you to eat breakfast with them.

“You know she’s his girlfriend,” John plainly stated, sipping his coffee. Brian nearly spat out his tea, while Freddie didn’t seem shocked at all. “You didn’t know?” Freddie shrugged.

And that was the moment yourself and Roger came down the staircase as if nothing had happened. Your hair did not look it’s best, but you were too whiny and hungry to tidy yourself up and as for Roger, his current state didn’t look like he was at his best. Although both of you did have lots of fun.

“Good morning, how is everyone this fine morning?” You gave everyone a big smile. The boys just gave you some nods and some simple replies. “I’m just going to go use the loo,” you left the kitchen, leaving Roger and the rest of the boys to question him.

“Had an early start this morning, didn’t you Rog?” Brian stated. Roger just looked at him and shrugged. “What you mean?”

“Roger please, there’s no need to act dumb. We all know what you were doing with your little girlfriend of yours,” Freddie laughed. “More like, we heard you,” John added with a huge smile. Roger’s face started to go completely red and his heart rate increased by quite a lot.

“O-okay fine. You heard us. And yes, she’s my girlfriend, just don’t mention her around Miami and stuff. Please!” Roger pleaded, putting his hands together, and that was the exact moment you walked back into the kitchen. “They know? Roger! Since when?” You were flustered. Very.

“Since you both last shagged in the recording studio couch,” Freddie answered straight away. You were completely shocked. Wow. That was just a few weeks ago.

“You guys can shag, but just remember to lock the door. Don’t just want anyone to walk in,” Brian said. Roger and yourself just smiled at each other and laughed at everyone’s statements.

—

loL that’s the end

—

Taglist: @roger-taylor-stole-my-heart @ilyjules @cosmiclunas @lilliekrs @mrsmazzello 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #210

“made of flame, made of mud, i’m the many, i’m the one.”

Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No. What’s something you’ve experienced that very few others have? Your favorite human on Planet Earth/God Himself noticing you. :') Three days I couldn't sleep. Three. Days. Do you have to wear an identification badge at your job? I don't have a job, yet. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. If so, how did it affect the relationship? N/A How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? I'm related to Queen Victoria somehow. Idk about anyone else. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? No job, no taxes yet. What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics. Has anyone ever told you that you get too competitive over minor things? No. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? N/A What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? I think Venus. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament. Man, I have a lot. We've accumulated A LOT over the years between me and all my siblings. Mom gets each of us one every year, and she's also kept all the ones we've made throughout school. She's so cute y'all. There is this REALLY damn pretty swirling crystal one with an angel on the top of it I got from my grandmother, that's definitely one of my faves, I've always loved this lil gingerbread dude I made in pre-k, and... idk man, there are truly a lot. What is something you frequently forget? To turn the laundry room light off anytime I go in there at night for Roman's litter scooper or to bring dirty clothes in there. By this point it's like a joke in the house with how much I do it for whatever reason. How do you feel about your body? I hate it. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? Connie, but I respect her privacy. I know you have to be careful online. What’s your opinion on assisted suicide? For it. At what point do you consider a relationship to be ‘long-term?’ Hm, idk, really. A year? What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Mom worked with special ed kids at school, she had a job at the hospital doing computer work I can't remember because I was so young, Dad's been a mailman all my life, but he also worked at Lowe's as a carpenter I think for a while. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? Mom's got a totally different job, and I already mentioned Dad being a mailman. Do you have any recurring dreams? Themes, yes; dreams, no. Have you ever had to call 911? Why? Yes; Mom and I thought she was having a heart attack. Terrifuckingfying morning. Do you get out a lot? I might as well be on fucking house arrest. I can stay in the house and go nowhere for over a week. Do you eat a lot of vegetables? No. Last fast food you ate? I had a Hardee's biscuit for breakfast. Do you live in Canada? No. What do you think when you see two members of your preferred sex kissing? It's sweet, and brave considering the assholes of the world. Is that hot? "For fuck’s sake… It bothers the hell out of me when people fangirl over homosexual couples. It’s so disrespectful." <<< THIS. Would you ever want to be a chef? No. Bonfires: Y/N? They're fun. What’s a food that’s famous in your hometown/state/country/etc? Southern cooking, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, hushpuppies, pulled pork, nasty shit like that. By pure coincidence, I literally hate almost all the "traditional" Southern foods. When’s that last time you saw snow? January this year. I think it was January... What’s something that you think will become obsolete in the next 50 years? Physically driving cars, probably. Are you efficient or do you procrastinate a lot? I procrastinate all to hell. Who are the 3 people you love the most? Mom, Sara, and then... idk if I can pick #3. Last person you slept in the same bed with? Sara. When was your first kiss? March 2012. Have you recently been sick? No. What song are you listening to? "Break My Mind" by dAGAMES. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Sadly. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It's worse. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium…How many of these have you tried? I have no clue what like three of these even are lmao. None. How long has it been since you had sex? Like over three years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Probably Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a wreck. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? I believe so. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been many months. My legs are AWFUL, but it is an absolute chore to shave or use Nair because my hair is so long and thick. So I figure if there's very little/no chance someone's going to see my legs, why even do it. I really wanna get laser hair removal on my legs when I can afford it, though. What facial cleanser do you use? A Biore charcoal scrub. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? I don't know? Probably dogs, lmao? How many purses do you own? One I use, then I have... two or three old ones saved just because I really like them. What are your top five favorite stores to clothes shop? Hot Topic, Rebel's Market, Spencer's, rue21, and... idk. I guess Wal-Mart lmao. What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? Yoga/dance/sweatpants with a tank top, graphic tee, or band tee. What about shoes? Flip flops like, year-round lol. If I do wear something else for whatever reason, it'll probably be my Vans or maybe a pair of Converse. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Nah, birth control's made cramping a far smaller problem. Last thing you bought at the mall? Wow, I have no idea. Well... maybe a book before the hurricane to read if the power went out? I haven't read it if you're wondering, aha... Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Dad's met her once, but he seemed to enjoy her just fine, and Mom adores her. What store did you last buy clothes from? Wal-Mart. Which parent are you more similar to? I have traits aligning with each of them. I think my mom, but then again, I don't see my dad nearly enough to know his personality deeply since he changed IMMENSELY after the divorce. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, wisdom, an open mind, gentle, passionate, a good sense of humor... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, I guess. I swam a LOT as a kid; it was my favorite activity. Are you happy with who you are? In some ways, in some ways no. Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? No; we live beside a busy road, and plus I don't trust people. Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? No. What was the last word document you typed? I made a brief outline of the message I'm sending to the client who hired me for her wedding when I send her her pictures. Thanking her and telling her what more I could do for her, stuff like that. What’s something that has upset you lately? The extreme difficulty of finding a job for myself... Do you have a home security system? No, but damn do I want one. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? If you know the darker part of my photography, roadkill. People see it and either think 1.) "poor thing" or 2.) "dumb thing," and that's it. No one seems to truly consider our responsibility to watch for animals on the road; in most instances I've seen, the animal is blamed for being "stupid." No, they're fucking terrified and panicking. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent. Basically, I think we should feel far more pity for what we end, even though it's accidental. And get out of the fucking car to see if it's okay/can be saved. Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? I believe so, but I don't really blame the cook. My stomach is just REALLY sensitive to food it's not used to, particularly fancier meals. What was the last kind of cheese you ate? American. How young is too young to be sexually active? "Personally, I think anything under 18." <<< Same. Would you ever dye your hair silver? I wanted to at some point, but particularly with my hairstyle now, idk how good it'd look. What was the last fun thing you did? Shot a wedding. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What’s your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? No. How long was your longest relationship? Three and a half years. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February 2017. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? Just popcorn is fine. If I have any candy, it's from a gas station or dollar store. Movie theater prices are expensive as fuck. Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for my iguana. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In bed. Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with? Yeah, Connie. Girt and I have also never really had an argument, he's just said things that hurt me as his sense of humor can be a bit harsh and they were sensitive areas, but he's never meant it. Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month? No. Can you cook anything other then toast? Yeah. How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over?  I don’t remember the last person that I cried over. Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? So annoying right? No. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? I don’t think so. Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you? For only two weeks. I like to pretend that shit never happened. Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name? The tattoo/piercing parlor I go to know me well; some probably remember my name. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? One literally only talks to me if she wants to ramble endlessly about him. Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking? No. There is NO way I could be with someone while they're vomiting. The sound would make me join in, and that's almost a promise. What annoys you more to do, sneeze or cough? Cough. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet cat? I want another snake. Do you fall for all the lines about making guys/girls like you on magazine covers? Lmao yeah right. Do you have a calendar in your room? What’s it’s theme? My door is currently open so I can't see for sure, but I have three or four outdated meerkat calendars as decoration. Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you? No. Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? She's married, so obviously. Do you own more pink or black clothes? Just about everything is black. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal? Yeah. What does the last body wash you used smell like? I think it's some kind of ocean-y scent? I don't pay attention. I just know it's blue. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? A martyr, and not the good kind. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Sonic. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or 'sir?’ No. That's general good manners in the South. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? I don't think so, but maybe? What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. I don't call him my brother, though. Did you partake in senior skip days? HA I sure did. Have you ever read the Christian Bible? Not the entire thing. When the holidays come around, do you help decorate? Yeah. Has someone ever promised not to leave you? NEVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE BELIEVE THAT SHIT. Do you have a part-time job? No. Are you the type of person who likes to buy gifts for your friends? If I had my own money, I absolutely would. Hopefully I can when I have a job... though I don't exactly have many people to send anything to. Have you ever lived in an apartment before? I wasn't an actual resident, though I was pretty much always there. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Are you close to your parents? Yeah. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? For most of my life. Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Wow, no. Do you ever spend the night with your significant other? Well, we're long distance. We do when we visit each other. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? Ha ha yes, but only because my sister, friend, and I went walking on the beach at night, and apparently Mom didn't hear us when we told her we were going... Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you cuss more than any one else you know? Tbh probably lmao. How old is your youngest cousin? I don't know. Do you tend to talk on the phone a lot? No. Have there ever been any serial killers around your hometown? I don't believe so. When was the last time you went to a museum? When my brother and nephew were here early this month. Do you know how to shoot a gun and hit a target? No. What turns you on the most? Don't grab my boobs. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Do you answer the phones at your work? N/A What’s your ring tone? The Revaleso remix of "Dear Insanity" by Asking Alexandria. The text alert sound is the chime of picking up a gem in Spyro. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do literally every night. It sucks. What shows do you watch? None. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? No. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My VR counselor drove me home the other day. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I'm sure some kind of beetle. Not a fan of beetles. What was your favorite TV show you watched as a kid? Pokemon. :') How many times a day do you tell your parents you love them? Mom, at least once when she leaves for work. Dad, I barely ever see him, so. I don't daily. Ever talk to your pets? Of course I do. I talk to them like I talk to people. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? ... Yes???? At a certain age you need to set an example to talk correctly, as the kid is going to copy you, but as a baby, no shit it's fine? Ever take a nap in a hammock? I may have fallen asleep, maybe not. Probably not tho 'cuz I would've been afraid of bugs (the hammock was between two trees directly outside the woods in our backyard), so I've likely just dozed for a bit, if anything. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? Oh boy, I don't remember them all. I know I liked Tommy, but I mean, he was the main character, so I guess that's to be expected for a little kid, mostly seeing him. Ever get caught doing something naughty with your boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Who has had the biggest impact on your life? Jason. Girls: ever wear boxers? Guys: ever wear a thong? No. Do you use q-tips to clean your ears? DON'T DO THAT. I got wax adhered to both eardrums because I did that frequently; it inevitably pushed things back and dried onto them. NOT fun getting it sucked out; hurts like a bitch. Always only use them for the outside of your ears. This has been a PSA. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? No. Ever had your feelings hurt when you knew the person was joking? That is EASY, friendo. Do you make jack-o-lanterns during Halloween? Sometimes. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No. Cats, awesome pets or Satan in disguise? I love cats. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? Wash them. Do you hate using public restrooms? VERY MUCH. I will avoid using one at almost all costs. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Oh my fucking god. So one night my friend Chelsea and I were up REALLY late and were loopy as fuck and this bitch started looking up weird dildos and shit and I'm not even remotely kidding, she found a huge 50 lb. butt plug. I sincerely wish I was joking. Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? Yeah. Do you drunk dial/text? I've never been drunk. Have you ever built a massive snow fort? No. We don't get enough snow here. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? Not entirely. Do you use acronyms to remember things? I did in school. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. When was the last time you went rollerskating? WOW I don't know, but it's been a long time. Do you call people “dude” a lot? Yes. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into them. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? Out of those, I may ever only squirm at nasty shit. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Probably ophthalmology (eye doctors). The last time I went to the eye doctor, I got way too into the science and anatomy of the eyes and such. You woulda thought I saw God when I realized I could see the veins in my eyes during that "lemme shine this light straight into your eyes" tests; I thought it was SO cool. Well, I probably realized this at previous appointments, I just didn't remember. Hm, or maybe a pathologist, that'd be cool. I'm looking through a list of doctors, yes. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? Probably just "I love you" and stuff like that from my niece and nephew. Ha ha aw, wait... When my brother and older nephew were here, Christian exclaimed, "She's up!", like the MOMENT I moved in bed one morning. I'm so happy to say that kid loves me. He wore me the HELL out in the course of just three days, but man, I miss the lil dude now. That occasion in particular just really sticks out to me because I do not find myself good with kids, and to just hear how excited he was that I was up meant the world to me. Apparently I was fun enough. At what age do you plan on moving out? I hope in like... two more years, maybe less. I need a stable job, a car, but I also DO NOT want to live alone, so I'd want to wait until Sara was ready to move, too. I'm beyond thankful Mom isn't rushing me in the least, she seems happy I live here actually, but I don't want to be in her hair much longer nonetheless. I have to be an adult. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog fuck-ing TERRIFIED me. His animation was unique to what was normal in the show, so that automatically stood out as different and weird, but more than anything, I was just so scared by his voice and repetitive lines. I had nightmares of that shitlord. HA HA OH MAN I REMEMBER THIS TOO: When I visited my aunt and uncle's when I was little, my family slept on the floor in a room downstairs, and there were small trees outside the window that would sway, and the outline on the curtains would make me think of him. I remember waking Mom up one night about it, and I think she gave me something for comfort, but idr what. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? In my very own fucking state, consent can no longer legally be revoked when sex begins. Fuck this place. How long does it take before you trust a person? It depends on the person. It's usually a while, though. Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? Hm... I feel like I have? Wait yeah, I did in elementary school! It was a class effort. Idr where it was buried. What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? My mother would be deeply concerned that my love of Mark runs as deep as it does, meanwhile my dad would be v v v confused. They would mutually be very worried of their daughter's willingness to eradicate the fools of the population and replace them all with miniature Fischfucks. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I may? I don't exactly have a lisp, but in certain words, I pronounce "s" weakly due to my tongue piercing getting in the way, but it's very mild. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? Idk. What’s the coolest item in your room? I'm not sure, I find a lot of things in here particularly cool for various reasons. Hence why it's so heavily decorated. I guess my favorite is probably the Japanese, limited edition Silent Hill: Revelation flyer I have framed on the wall. I won it in a giveaway and I love it alskdjfklajwer. I wanna collect more SH merch, man. Are you accident-prone? Yes, due to my own lack of common sense and clumsy nature. As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? I BOLTED for that swing. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? I'm not a fan of extreme muscles. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? Phew, I grew up fishing all the time with Dad. I'm certain I have. Well, I caught a catfish by the eye, but only the method's weird there, lol. I still to this day feel so bad for the fella. Is old age catching up with you? In my back and knees lmao. Can you sleep through thunderstorms? Yes. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yes. Do people confide in you? Some do. Ever been around someone who makes you feel stupid? He doesn't intend to, he's just reeeaaally fucking smart. Actually, that goes for my brother, too. I knew he was very intelligent, but holy shit, when he was here last and I actually got to hear more about him, his beliefs, and general knowledge, dude's a genius. How many college degrees do you want? Either up to Bachelor's or Master's. For my career goal of being an out-in-the-field zoologist, I need the latter. Do you like animals? SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes; my high school senior project was at least one. There's other personal stories I wrote as a kid, too. Can you snap your fingers? Yes. Can you wink? My right eye, yes. I can with my left eye, but not without my face distorting pretty badly. What song explains how you feel about love? *shrugs* Does hardship make a person stronger? It depends on what they take from it. What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Ew please never. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey games with Dad. What is your favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, I live with my mom, who I've lived with my whole life, and we're very close, if that answers the question. Do you have any heroes? *blinks* Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, I wish. Ever lost your voice? At least once. Are you a cautious person? Yes. Meet Anxiety, baby. Do you enjoy comedy shows? Yeah. Do you chew gum? Sometimes, rarely. Do you think a lot when taking a shower? Not really. I just enjoy whatever music I have on. Are you currently charging your phone? No. Do you ever get razor rash? No. Are you a private person? It depends on the subject. If you straighten your hair, do you always use hair spray? N/A Do you curl your hair often? It's too short to be curled. What’s the earliest you’ve ever woken up for school? Idk. Probably around 5:00-5:30 if I was getting ready for a special day or something. Can you get ready in under 10 minutes? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad kisser? No. Do you like Frostys from Wendy’s? Hell yeah. Would you ever sleep in the same bed as your sibling? Sure, if we had no other choice. Ever taken a shower with someone? My little sister and I did all the time as kids, I'm guessing to save water. Would you consider yourself to be a creative person? Yes. Do you usually take a nap during the day? Yes, usually. Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? HELL YEAH!!!!!! So long I have my camera and company, that'd be awesome!!! Do you suffer from frequent paranoia? Eh, not as badly as I used to. Two friends whom have been there for you the most? Sara and Girt. If you/your gf became pregnant accidentally, would you consider abortion? If it was my own fault for not using protection, I couldn't do it; then that's my own foolishness. I would regardless if my life was endangered, though. I do believe abortion is killing a living being once brain activity begins, but I believe in the right to put yourself first. If a complete stranger picked a fight with you, would you fight or flight? Flight if possible. Defend myself when necessary. Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? House pet, so long as my owner is a good one that truly loves me. Wild animal would be much more dangerous, and besides, I like the idea of companionship. Can you juggle more than two objects at once? lol I probably couldn't even juggle two. Can you function well on little to no sleep? Eh. I'm cranky for sure, but I can function. Well... depending. If I am REALLY tired, I won't be able to keep my eyes open. Do you find that it is difficult to maintain your mood? Even on medication, I'm still bipolar (not using that as an adjective; I'm legitimately diagnosed with it). My mood can change VERY quickly with tiny stimuli, but at a much, much milder degree. Have you ever listened to a group of chanting Monks? (if not you should) No, but it's cool! Two sports that you are horrible at? Tennis and volleyball. The latter mostly just hurts like a bitch. One thing that you would like to change about your life? My job situation. What was the last candy you ate? Sour gummy worms. Which decade was your favorite for fashion trends? Idk. I'm really not educated enough on what was trendy for each one. Do you like the current fashion trends? I pay no attention. Who is the strangest (or one of the strangest) person you’ve met? I won't give away his name as it's a pretty unique one, but there was a kid in high school who was certainly different in both good and bad ways. He was pretty unstable. Made his own religion. What are you struggling with currently? Finding a mfckn job. Do you forgive yourself for your mistakes? Most, I'd say. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? No. Name one friend who had a parent who was in jail. A cousin of mine. Has anyone tried to kill you and then played the victim? No? What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship and Scrabble. Can you remember the last time you played a board game? A few months back with Sara and Girt. Actually Scrabble, lol. List three traumatic memories you have. The only truly traumatic memory I have is the breakup. Well, I guess a nightmare I had with my dad kinda is too, seeing as it still affects my trust today? Have you ever been misdiagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. How the fuck did I have ADHD, woman. If you don’t mind my asking, when was the last time you had diarrhea? Like about two weeks ago before my period started. That's starting to seem like a theme. Do you prefer sunny days or cloudy days? I like partly cloudy. Do you have a painful past? A good chunk of it. But I mean, who doesn't have some rough paths behind them. What was the best time of your life? Walking through Chicago with Sara and her dad one night was INCREDIBLE. Coming from the middle of nowhere into such a colossal city with all these lights and such was such a shock to me, and exploring it with them was super cool. It was cold as fuck, but still, it was fun. When was the last time you were hugged? Idk. Well, probably last time I was at Ashley's saying bye to everyone. Do you trust your doctor? Yes. Name something God has healed you of. HAHAHAHA. If applicable, how old were you when you got "saved?" I was raised into religion, so I don't know. I grew up "saved." Have you been baptized, and if so, where? Yes, at my childhood church.

[rchime]

October 14th - 15th 2017

Warning: This posts will have tons of typos, bad grammar and bad English in general. If you don’t mind you can (politely) correct me, cause y’know English isn’t my native language and I’m still trying to improve my English

I went camping. Not alone definitely, but with my friends. I didn’t want to go, at first, but I feel it’s like duty, I confess. So, I went regardless. Thankfully, it didn’t turn out as bad as I thought it would be.

We went around 4 or 5 pm (sorry, my memory and concept of time are pretty bad), with motorcycle. There was like 12 motorcycles. It was pretty tiring, my back hurts so much. Not to mention, it was my first day of period, so imagine that: period cramps + sitting on motorcycle for approximately 5 hours, yep that was a fucking hell. There was a moment when we got separated and half of us ‘lost’, so we need to wait for them (there’s one motorcycle went back to looking for them, and guide them to our place. I was in the “waiting” group, so I have to waited for around an hour, before the “separated” group arrived. After that we were continuing our journeys and the road to that place was winding and kinda steep (well what do I expect it’s on a fucking mountain lmao). Not to mention the s" road was dark as hell and scary, cause there’s barely any houses and lots of trees and bushes (again it’s a mountain what do I expect, right?). Half of our team (motorcycles) weren’t powerful enough to ‘climb’ the road, so we helped each other with ‘pushing’ the motorcycles and move the 'passanger’ (idk what is called in motorcycle lmao). My motorcycle was heated up and there was smoke coming from the engine, thankfully my motorcycle made it (and still kicking ass until now).

Finally we arrived at the site, it’s called Pabangbon Camp Ground. When we were afraid we didn’t go to the locket -to buy ticket- staight away, we went to the toilet first (something that I had been waiting for lmao). After that we went up to the camping ground’s locket to bought tickets. Then, they opened the portal for us so we could pass and went up to the camping ground (and the road was rocky and steep as hell, that was fucking scary man). The camp ground was dark as hell, I couldn’t see anything (except the pine trees and grounds), we even couldn’t recognize each other without flashlight. There, we chose the place to 'built’ our tents with the help of the guides ofc. Even though the camp ground isn’t that big, but it seems like it was so big, perhaps because cold weather, darkness and tiredness. Surprisingly I was 'doing well’ with the coldness (I thought I would started sneezing uncontrollably or started wheezing, thankfully it didn’t happen at all), but one of our friend didn’t 'do well’ with the coldness and started trembling so we tried to keep her warm. She wore like 3 layers of sweater and jackets, I don’t remember that precisely but she was covered in tons of clothes (including scarves and gloves). We waited for few minutes until we found the place.

*I took that picture when I was waiting for the place to set up out tents

After we found the 'perfect place’ we set up our tent and preparing the campfire. I didn’t do anything that time but kept myself warm and talked with my friends. When everything’s done we took a rest and I entered the girls tent. That’s… I don’t remember that much honestly, but I remember we 'sneaking’ foods. We were chatting and ate few packs of pocky before we went down to changes our clothes.

*Here's the picture of pocky + myfeet + my friends hands, enjoy...(?)

The toilets weren’t comfortable (but hey it was better than nothing). When we were going back to our tents, I was looking up to the sky and realizing that the sky was so clear. Well, considering I live in the city, there’s lot of pollution and stuff so I almot never see the clear night sky. For a moment I enjoyed the clear night sky, where I can actually see the stars, a lot of stars. It was so beautiful and magical (can’t imagine if I actually can see northern light, I will passed out perhaps). When we got back to our tents, we had dinner. It wasn’t that fancy, just rice, roasted chickens, roasted sausages and… That’s it. We used brown paper (idk we called that “kertas bungkus nasi”) as the plates. We ate together, in line , idk what’s the English term for that, and I hope I have a picture of that (sorry I was too hungry and too tired to took a picture, it wasn’t my priority).

After dinner I entered the tent and tried to take a little bit rest a.k.a sleeping. (Yup, I wasn’t helping cleaning up the mess after dinner, I am a horrible 'friend’ what do you expect lmao). I was fell asleep for one two minutes, we (everyone inside the girls tent) called to get out, to have a discussion, which is one of our reason why we went there. (There’s a reason why we chose to have discussion in the middle of nowhere, but I can’t tell you, y'know organizational stuff). Then we gather around the campfire and started the discussion which is the goals to solve our problems and introspection for us to be better (and certain, specific person). I can’t give you any overviews (considering I didn’t give any input at that discussion cause I was so tired and sleepy af, so my brain didn’t work as good as usual, not to mention I was fall asleep in the (not so) middle discussion -yep, I am horrible 'friend’ I told ya-, and when I woke up the discussion was done lmao). Right after that we definitely not go to sleep (what do you expect bro), instead we were doing a simulation. What kind of simulation? Again I’ll say this is organizational stuff, can’t tell ya. But, the simulation didn’t go well one of our friends was passed out, so we were panicking and stop the simulation and most of us get into the tent. It was kinda scary cause we thought it had to do with supranatural stuff (perhaps it was, but pretty sure tiredness play pary in that too). I other girls weren’t sleeping (except two persons), and we went down again to pray (shalat subuh), cause surprise surprise we found out it was almost dawn.

My friends planned to take a picture of sunrise, but they decided to take that after praying, but sadly we were too late. -Just a note, the mushola (place where we were pray) wasn’t in ‘perfect’ place to take any sunrise picture, that’s why even tho I wasnt praying (cause I was in my period), I didn’t take any picture either-. But still even though we didn’t get the sunrise pic, we take pictures still. I’m actually don’t really like taking picture (especially of myself cause I look like potato lmao), so I just enjoying the scenery. Seriously tho that was one of the best scenery i’ve ever seen, well keep in mind I rarely go to places cause a) I’m indoor person b) I’m broke lmao. I took few pictures of the scenery… and myself surprisingly, cause my friends suggest me to and I’m not really against it, deep down I always want to take pictures wherever I go, but I don’t have any confidence for that (please, don’t be like me, ok?), but asI expected I look really awkward in literally all pictures, even the ones where I don’t show my face, cause it seems like my gesture and posture already awkward by default. Here’s I’ll share few pictures that I and my friends took (they took all the pictures where I’m in frame, so all the scenery pics are mine).

*Just so you know I edited the pictures so it seems more ‘alive’ cause I just took it with my (and my friends) phone camera and it didn’t look that ‘pleasant’ (imo), and I’m so sorry that i ‘censored’ my friend and my own faces cause as I mentioned before I’m not confident and for my friend, just in case she don’t want her face to be shown everywhere without her consent. -I haven’t told my friends about the existence of this blog, perhaps sometimes in the future(?)

After we were taking pictures, we went to our tent again to change our clothes (again), and then few of us went down to have breakfast, and few others were sleeping. There’s few who were taking pictures too, and I was just sitting down with enjoying the moment (I guess… can’t remember precisely sorry). When the ‘breakfast’ group got backwe were sitting nearby the valley (where I and my friend was taking pictures). We were chatting and eating pop mie and drinking black tea. Because of the cold wind and lack of sleep (ofc) I fell asleep (again). After that, we went to our tent again to prepare to go home. We ‘break’ the tent and cleaning up the mess. Then, we went down, and the adventure to go home just started.

The way down the mountain actually isn’t that bad, except that rocky stree, that was hell. The place was crowded when we left, cause aside from the camping ground, Pabangbon have other attarction called Pabangbon Panorama (you can google that, it’s so beautiful). Unlike when we went (at night) the view when we go home was so beautiful, sadly I’m not expert in recording or taking picture while in motorcycle (even tho I’m just a passanger). But almost all of my friends documented that and even upload it on Youtube (I’ll show you the video at the end of post). I can’t tell you much what’s happening on the streets, cause I was sleepy af and not anly me but all of us were sleepy af. Even the ones that ride the motorcycle (the driver) drinks Kratingdaeng (similar to Red Bull) so they can stay awake. Fast forward we arrived at our basecamp. few go home straight away when they arrived, but I wasn’t go home straight away, cause I was sleepy and I learned my lesson about riding-motorcycle-while-you-are-sleepy (thank god, it wasn’t involving accident), so I took a nap for few minutes, then go back hom.

When I arrived home, the first thing that I did was taking shower (so unusual for me lmao), cause I feel so dirty. After that I feel so fresh and clean (no shit sherlock). Actually I planned to wash my clothes before sleep, but sadly my body was too tired for that, so yeah as you can guess, I feel asleep again.

Aaannd that’s it, the story stops there. I’m not a writer (but I’d like to try to write), so i don’t know how to close the story. Sorry if that sounds boring and confusing (perhaps because of my semi-broken English, sorry), but trust me it was one of the best experience I’ve ever have, sounds cheesy, I know, but that’s true. So, to close this post I give you the video about our journey as I promised.

Here’s the video.

*In case you don’y know Pabangbon located at Leuwiliang, Bogor. That’s why it’s written on the title. In case you want to know I am that awkward girl with bad haircut, blue backpack and wear mask most of time.

[hhhvevo]

Day 29 (5/3)

Ooh wow guys I gotta try to make sense of some things here oh man.

So I may or may not have mentioned being confused about my feelings for Juan on here, but to summarize: on 4/20 (aye), he came back to my place after we had gone downtown to go shopping and eat cause he wanted to take a nap before Craft Bonding and Lacey was out of town. The whole time, and for a few days before this, he had been really directly flirty in a way I wasn't used to, so I would come back with some remarks but generally tell him he missed his chance because I didn't want to be too forward. But apparently that day there wasn't really such a thing. As soon as he climbed in my bed, he kept inviting me in, and since my game was updating I played down with him and wow. Also, I'm aware this is no longer a summary but this is my writing space and I'll say what I please. So as soon as I got into bed he got really touchy, letting me feel up his chest, hugging on me, burying his face in my neck and in my chest, he motorboats me a few times, and he kept tickling me so he could thrust up against me. It was like what happened with Jarrod, but in my bed and with the most attractive man I've ever met. I remember I was riding him at one point, like I was literally straddling him and essentially dry humping and he was encouraging all of it. At one point we were laying with our noses almost touching and I honestly thought we might kiss and felt lightheaded. We did eventually actually nap, and I really didn't want to leave after that was done but we went to Craft, and the whole week after had those pangs of just lust. Like oof I thought nothing could be better than that.

Little did I know that last night (more specifically two days ago, since it's now after midnight) when we were sleeping over at SR, we were sharing a sofa to sleep on and being casually flirty at best there, holding hands and all that fun. But it was getting a little cramped and we were trying to move around, so we both moved to the ground. Down there, wow. First it was low key, I was on the pillows but then I played on him, and we held hands again, and I remember moving my hands as low as I could and that happening a couple times. Then I put my head on his chest and he put his arm around me, and then he started stroking my back in delicious patterns, he would go all the way to the small of my back where my waistband was, tuck his hand in, then draw it out, back up to my bra strap where he would do the same thing. It seemed like he was trying to reach around the front but couldn't make it and ofc, since my bras are hooked like tanks, he actually said out loud he couldn't figure out how to get it off. So I told him sleeping with a bra on is uncomfortable anyways, and unhooked it. I think it was also around that time he lowered his face to mine and pecked me on the cheek, and then the lips. I went in for more immediately, but Lace was in the room. So I turned over to give him the booty treatment, and he absolutely reaches under my bra and starts playing with me, and it is such a fucking turn on holy shit. And apparently so is the booty treatment cause I can literally feel him throbbing it was so amazing. So of course I reach down there over the blanket to have a little feel and see what I'm working with. After a while, he said I didn't need to be over the blanket, so I went under, started again over his shorts. That happens for a bit, with maybe some things in between, and he said again that I didn't have to stay under the shorts! So I go in again, except this time I'm whipping him out. I get on his dick (its wonderful btw) and he's already precum, and says that'll need to go somewhere. So your girl, always with the clever solution, pop that shit right in my mouth. My boy is about to go off, so we move into the other room and I slobber all over that thing, I give it to him good, he cums right in my mouth and I took that shot like a champ. He was so good oh my God. But since it was like 4 am and we both had midterms he said we needed to sleep, and after he felt me up a bit more we did.

Sooo I fucked my best friend. And not just my best friend, but Juan, the most gorgeous man I've ever met. I got that dick first! It's so funny, this is almost just like the shit that went down with David. At least Lace and Astrid will never find out so they can't pull an Alexia and Dalia moment on us. Juan did say after that he wanted to talk but he never brought it up, even though we were alone more than once today.

But the thing I tried to figure out was on the phone just now, I was telling him to come over, and all the excuses he gave were practical. It wasn't dismissive like he usually is with flirting. He literally said "I would, but I'm tired", and since I know for damn sure the second part is true, can I assume the first is also? Is this not the end of the road? Am I gonna get to fuck Juan??? Oooooh!!! Damn that's gonna be so good, I want to know how good that dick is gonna feel buried in me. This is gonna be disgusting to read back but oh well, I'm in this to win this.

But that makes me feel at least somewhat bad for Sara. Things are still good between us, but she has no idea about any of this. Idk how she would feel now that she and I are being more public and she's even told me she likes me. But I know I want him. I've known since shortly after we met. And this isn't cheating cause I'm not in a relationship. I'm just being fluid right now. But I don't want her to know. That says something for sure. These are starting to sound like excuses. I'm still ready as all hell to fuck Juan

[opepin]

october: week three

16: i woke up pretty refreshed and glad because i was having another one of my action-packed, nightmarish dreams. lol. i got up at around 8:15 am and then headed over to the fitness center to do some leg workouts. i squatted and deadlifted 45 lbs (i went up by 5) for 4 sets of 12! i almost died near the end but it was great. then i did 12.5 lbs for my bulgarian split lunges, jump lunges, rdls, and weighted lunges. i went down to 10 lbs for my fire hydrants and leg lifts and hip thrust. i was sweating so much. i got back, stretched and cooled off, showered, made myself my breakfast smoothie, and then got to work. kevin took a sick day and he also had to drive his dad to the airport so i think it was a good idea. i worked on a video tutorial one pager in the morning and then went into a customer call. for the rest of the day, i worked on practicing for tomorrow’s training session and prepping the materials. i was on stand up when poppa chen had to leave and fly back home. i said bye to him and kevin drove him to the airport. lol kevin got stuck in traffic for like 40 minutes and i would have gone with him but my stand up lasted wayy longer than expected. after stand up, i talked with phil about tomorrow and then made the last changes to the training itinerary.

kevin gamed when he got back so i went to finish up leg day. i did a ton of squats and deadlifts. my quads were literally shaking. then i did a weight-less hip workout to see if i could fill in my hip dips (over time ofc). kevin cooked while i showered. then we ate while watching yakitate! japan. then we played trine 2 before kevin needed to shower. after his shower, we played some more and then he gamed with the guys after. i watched youtube videos and then just ended up sleeping at like 12:30 am... maybe later? idk, i think i was on my phone ahah. wfh makes me want to sleep and wake up later.

17: andddd i was sore waking up! lol, i woke up at 8:30 anyway because kevin kept waking me up last night from his tossing and turning. i had another bad dream lol. i broke up with kevin in my dream LOOOL and he was really sad. i told kevin that these past two days i’ve been having bad dreams and i think it is because he keeps disturbing my sleep -__-’ anyway, i did 30 minutes of hip hop cardio and then showered and washed my hair. i am going to wash my hair more often now. it’s growing outward and kinda longer and i sweat a ton during my workouts so i feel like it gets oily real quick now. i’m going to grow out my hair and then splurge sometime in the future on a great haircut. i hate my hair right now tbh. after my shower, i made myself my bfast smoothie and i looked up some weight lifting information. i’ve gained about 3-5 lbs and my body fat is a tiny bit higher than it was before (it’s my first time weighing myself since i started lifting free weights). i was wondering if my weight gain is normal or what. i conclude that i need to stop eating as much as i have (especially fats) lol. i think i’ve treated myself a good amount this past month and half :) i’m going to focus on trying to eat more protein (how do people eat so much?!) and definitely lower fatty foods and i guess the same amt of carbs. i’ve been hitting my carb goal. so i’m doing a bit of a mini cut? but not really lol. my clothes are a bit tighter but it’s all in my legs so idk if it’s muscle or just more fat. my love handles have kinda grown a bit too.

anyway, i drank my smoothie and then went into a training session from 11 am to 1 pm and then a quick debrief and talk with phil afterward for 30 minutes before a 30 minute or so stand up. i ate lunch and then i took a break and played trine 2 with kevin. phil never pinged me back and i couldn’t record my video tutorials because it was pretty noisy at home. the day was over before i knew it and then i did some internet errands. kevin and i took an hour nap after i finished up with work. he said he was feeling tired and i felt a bit jdsfndjkf from working too. after our nap, kevin cooked dinner while we watched some yakitate! japan together. we ate and watched another episode and then kevin went to game while i read. i started reading ‘sleeping beauties’ and i also finished the experience mapping book, finally! i finished reading right around 11 pm and then stretched. kevin actually hopped into bed at 11:30 pm and then i finished stretching, brushed, and went to bed before 12 am. zzzz.

18: kevin woke me up at 7:20 am lol but then i went back to sleep until 8 am and then went for my kickboxing session shortly after. i showered and then made kevin congee with my mom’s leftover soup in the rice cooker. then i made myself my breakfast protein smoothie and went straight into recording videos. i managed to record two before i stopped to take a break, watch the newest episode of shokugeki and then ate lunch with kevin while watching yakitate! japan. :) i had to hop on a call with phil after and kevin went to play hots. he took advil and felt a lot better after he took it haha. i did some more work and then hopped on a very long stand up -__-” i finished up some video work and then played trine 2 with kevin. when it got to around 5:45 pm, kevin went back to gaming on his computer so i could pop some chicken thighs in the oven and hit the gym for my second session of the day. i’ve gained some fat in my waist area and i want to tighten it a bit so i went back to some of my weighted oblique workouts. my obliques were on fire. i used a 8 lb weight for 30 minutes of moves like the wood chopper, standing oblique crunches, etc.

i came back, took out the chicken, made myself a second protein smoothie without peanut butter and cocoa but with cinnamon (it was aiight), and then took a quick shower before microwaving / steaming frozen veggies and plating dinner for kevin and me. :) we had a very healthy dinner LOL. we ate and watched yakitate! japan and then kevin went to sleep at like 8 pm. i cuddled in bed with him until 9 pm and then went off to wash dishes and clean the oven. lol the last time i made apple pie, i didn’t put a tray underneath it so some of the juices spilled to the bottom of the oven :( it created a sugar film on the bottom of the oven so i used a dull pizza cutter and paper towels to scrap it off. after the kitchen was cleaned, i watched the newest episode of jane the virgin and some of youtube videos. i got real sleepy near 12 am. kevin went to shower and then i slept at like 12:20 am with kevin. zzz. it was a quiet night with myself, which i didn’t mind. i was going to read but i wanted to watch something instead ahah.

19: i was pretty awake when i got up at 8 am. phil sent me over things that i needed to get to work on before exercising in the morning. so i did that, changed, and then did arms in the morning. my shoulders were actually sore from yesterday’s weighted ab/oblique workout so my workout was pretty hard to get through. then i came back, shipped off an aerie sports bra for a return, and showered. i made my smoothie after and then hung out with kevin for a bit before hopping on my computer and editing my video tutorials. that went straight into another 2 hour training session. phil kindly took the lead on this one because i’m kinda losing my voice and i’m just tired from all these back to back sessions with such a large group. after that session, we went straight on to stand up, which lasted longer than usual again. then phil asked me to stay on with dave and by that time, i was hangry. kevin had heated up our food already but i was stuck on a call that wasn’t even scheduled... and i hadn’t eaten since 9 am. -__-” i had to ask to leave because they got to a topic that i wasn’t involved in. so then i happily got off and ate lunch with kevin. kevin steamed some soup dumplings for us because i mentioned that i wanted some in the morning <3

the rest of the day went by pretty quickly with no meetings. i worked on my video tutorials and got them all recorded and edited. they are ready for uploading and updating! then i think i took a break and kevin took a nap. i just remember doing back exercises in the apartment (no jumping but just mat stuff) while the lights were dim and i don’t think kevin was gaming. after my workout, i showered and heated up our leftovers for dinner. kevin mentioned that he felt better. :) we watched some yakitate! japan and maybe gamed a bit? this evening is fuzzy. i know i went to sleep while kevin stayed up a bit to game.

20: wooo, today was the first day out of my six days of unused pto that i used lol. does that even make sense? well, i took a day off from work today. i woke up at like 8:30 am (still around the same time i get up) and then took my time heading over to the yoga studio. i did my hiit workout for the day and then went back showered, and made my protein shake. then i spent the day running errands. i made a dentist appointment for when i come back to chicago during thanksgiving, cleaned the dish washer, and tidied up some things. kevin and i headed to chinatown to submit his paper work for a visa to go to china and then we also ordered from gourmet dumpling house and got beef scallion pancake rolls, soup dumplings, and pork and leek dumplings. we experienced some traffic on the way back but had our food so we weren’t that bothered haha. we stopped by oh my tea and got ourselves some hot tea boba dranks. we watched some yakitate! japan while we ate and then kevin went back to work.

i hopped into bed to watch some videos and then talked to my mom for a while on the phone. then kevin got off work and we ordered dinner. i could have made noodles but i wasn’t feeling like cooking today. we ordered from hakata ramen. i got unagi don and kevin got ramen. while we waited for the food to come, we played trine 2. then we got our food and finished the level before watching some yakitate! japan. i think we spent the rest of the night just binging the anime LOL. kevin didn’t want to end on such big cliffhangers lmao. we watched until late at night and then i went to do my stretches before going to sleep. zzzz. what a good day! i’m going to love the next pto days that i scheduled for myself. :)

21: kevin and i woke up pretty early! kevin made us bacon breakfast sandwiches and we watched yakitate! japan. then we meal planned and went grocery shopping pretty early at 12 pm :O we never go that early! we spent more time shopping though because we were trying to find things we usually don’t get. because we were at kam man early, we got to buy a ton of bakery buns that are usually sold out by the time we get there at like 3-4 pm lol. we also got a lunch box to go for our makeshift lunch. we also got bomb af smaples from bj’s lol. we had a waffle with bananas and whipped cream, i got to eat a protein bar, and some chicken noodle soup! after our grocery trip, we got back, put away the food, and i got to snack on the hot cheetos i got. omg i forgot how delicious they are. T__T <3 i did my workout of the day, which was a full body strength workout. then i got back and showered. i started laundry and then made myself some edamame! well, i just steamed them with the microwave. i nommed on that with some of the bakery bread. mmm.

kevin gamed until we needed to get ready to leave for the zelda concert! i changed and got ready. then we ate leftovers of the lunch box from lunch and took the train to the wang theater. there were so many people out and about. there were also a ton of people going the same way as us. we got off downtown crossing and walked to the theater. then we used the washroom and headed up. i got irritated at kevin because when we got out together, he’s a bit of an airhead and just goes off by himself without waiting for me @_@; he’s really air-headed for some reason... we got to our seats and i think a guy accidentally spilled some of his alcohol on me because we needed to pass him in order to get in our seats and my pants were a bit wet when i sat down... there was no liquid on the seat sigh. it was a rocky start.

the concert overall was ok. i think final fantasy: distant worlds did a better job of playing music from all of their games. this concert was super focused on the more recent releases, which i have not played and it was meh. i mean, live concert music is wonderful but the connection to the songs were entirely there. kevin enjoyed the live music as well and was in the same boat as me except that i think he enjoyed it more lol. i was jkdfnsjkdf by the crowd leaving. omg, so many people and construction going on -__-” i felt less grumpy after we separated from the crowd and went back home. i was still a bit grumpy though because when we got back, my stomach was cramping like crazy but i had to fold laundry before going to sleep. so i did that and i told kevin i was stressed about cleaning (more specifically, cleaning tomorrow). he didn’t do much in terms of helping so i went to sleep pretty bothered. we did talk about it for a bit after he showered. sigh.

22: i woke up kinda still akjfnsdjkf about last night and all of the stuff i had to do today so i just went to the yoga studio and did a hiit workout. i talked to hillary on the phone afterward while i ate breakfast and started cleaning the apartment. i told hillary about my stress when it comes to cleaning every week and it actually made me feel better to talk about it to someone other than kevin lol. then i continued cleaning and kevin joined in by vacuuming. after i finished cleaning the bathtub, i put our sheets in the wash and then i took a nice break. i watched some videos, made myself some roasted chickpeas, and then laid on the sofa. before doing abs, i ate the roasted chickpeas and they’re pretty good! i felt bad using oil so next time i’m going to roast them without oil and for a bit longer to see how it is. they got soft after resting for a bit. poop. i did abs and then kevin started cooking. we talked about my cleaning stress lol and i think he gets it more now. then i showered and drank my second protein shake of the day. i pulled up crunchyroll and started watching a ton of anime .__. LMAO. i started watching too many to name... i really like ‘blend-s’ though and i left off watching ‘no game no life’, which was recommended by victoria a lonng time ago ahha.

we ate dinner while watching yakitate! japan. i forgot to mention that i came out of the shower only to find kevin eating a ton of hot cheetos. lol i don’t think we’ll buy any more after this time... it’s too addictive. anyway, we watched two episodes and then kevin went to shower. i continued watching anime until bed time. we made the bed together and then i hit the hay right before 12 am but then daniel messaged me and i ended up sleeping at like 12:20 am lol. cleaning today wasn’t too bad because i was talking to hillary on the phone while doing it and after i got off the phone, i put on some youtube videos while i was cleaning the bathroom. so i’m going to try to be more productive by saving up youtube videos so i can watch them while i clean. this will also help me with not laying around and watching a ton of videos when i have free time lol.