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nillabeam · 4 years

Text

strange magic

synopsis: sex pollen quirk? sounds fake. until you realize it isn’t. it’s totally real. not only is it totally real but it’s effecting you AND your fellow pro hero, Ground Zero.

pairings: bakugoxf!reader

warnings: it’s smut so 18+, language but that’s a given, slight violence and a brief blood mention, characters are also aged up

a/n: based on this request!! it’s a lot different than libido in terms of like, content lmao, but the situation is similar sort of?? idk hopefully it’s not completely terrible bc i felt like i was a bit rusty writing this?? also excuse my overall writing ability and bad grammar <333 also there’s like a little tiny bit of fluff at the end!!!

“Give up already!”

Ground Zero barks, threatening sparks emitting from his palms. He was standing a few feet away from a woman, hysterical and clearly enraged by something he honestly didn’t care enough about to remember. Something about a cheating husband, maybe? Whatever, one thing he did know was that this lady just stabbed a guy in the middle of a popular park and if he didn’t hurry the poor cheating bastard would be dead soon.

The woman pressed her heel into the victims chest, he yelped pathetically in response. “I said get away from me! This son of a bitch is going to get everything he deserves!”

“Not happenin’ lady. Bastard or not you can’t just fucking stab people because you feel like it!” Ground Zero snaps back, he shifts his weight forward.

“He has to pay! I’ll make him pay!” She screams, turning the knife in her hand, her heel digging further into the victims chest, it was becoming increasingly apparent that Ground Zero had to make his move soon.

“Shut up and listen! Drop the knife or you’re gonna end up worse than that asshole!” He threatens, muscles tensing, ready to explode forward and overwhelm the woman if she didn’t comply.

“I’ll slit his goddamn throat don't you da-” She’s interrupted by your hand gripping her wrist bending it backwards in an unnatural direction. The movement makes her cry out and drop the blade. She tries to take the knife back but a swift jab of your elbow to her nose sends her reeling backward onto the floor.

“You bitch! That really fucking hurt!” Her hands grip her face, trying to suppress the heavy flow of blood now streaming from her broken nose.

“Shut up! You should have listened to me when you had the chance!” Ground Zero is suddenly beside you, he extends a fist and you meet it with yours, resulting in a friendly fist bump. “Nice elbow, Rookie.” He comments, impressed.

“Nice diversion.” You reply, leaning down to restrain the woman. “The police will be here soon so we should help-” You’re interrupted by a strange purple mist clouding your vision.

“What the hell is this shit?” Ground Zero asks, fanning his hand in front of his face, trying to push away the mist. “Her quirk?” You suggest, landing a quick precise blow to the woman’s neck, incapacitating her. The mist dissipates, having only reached you and the other hero.

“Hope it’s not some kind of defensive response. Like poison or something.” You worry for a second before standing, waving the remaining fumes away. “It’ll take more than some fucking purple bullshit to kill me.” You squint your eyes at him, an amused smirk finding your lips. “That sounds like something someone who gets killed by purple bullshit would say.” You quip, amused despite the looming danger of being exposed to an unknown quirk. A devious smirk finds his lips.

“If it kills me, it’s killing you too so I guess I’ll see you in hell, asshole.”

----------------

“They said they’ll get back to us once they figure it out. Also they said we can go home but we have to stay put, since we feel okay, oh, and also to call if we suddenly feel like we’re dying.” You explain, clicking the comm. in your ear off.

“Great. So we can die at home instead.” He mocks, rolling his eyes. You lift your arms above your head to stretch them, sore from a day of hero work. “I’m perfectly fine with going home early, maybe I won’t die and I can catch up on laundry.” You move past him toward the locker rooms, more than ready to change out of your hero costume.

“Oi, Rookie!” He calls out.

You turn to face him, still walking backwards toward your destination.

“Good work today.”

You can feel your cheeks heat up at the compliment.

-----------------

Once you finally changed into your civilian clothes you walk into the lobby, distracted, hand in your purse fishing for your phone. You smack into something hard. “O-ow.” You mumble, scrunching up your face in discomfort, hand reaching up to rub your nose trying to alleviate some the pain.

“Watch it, Rookie.”

The voice is familiar and you realize you’ve hit a person. More specifically, Ground Zero. Or Bakugo, as you knew him when the two of you weren’t busy being heroes. “Bakugo, sorry I was-” You un-scrunch your face so you could see properly. You should have closed your eyes and ran away instead because the sight in front of you would prove to be too much for your stupid brain to handle.

He stood before you, bag slung easily over his shoulder, the fabric of his expensive looking dress shirt clung perfectly to his impressive chest and biceps. Your eyes trail down the length of his lean body, his other hand shoved into his dress pants, perfectly ironed, and the way they showed off his thick powerful thighs nearly had you drooling. It’s becomes painfully obvious that you’re ogling him.

You’d forgotten there was a staff meeting earlier that morning and he was dressed nicer than usual. Yet, you’d seen him before all dressed up like this, so why was the sight of him making you feel hot now?

“My eyes are up here, pervert.”

His gruff voice snaps you out of your trance, you snap your head up to meet his fierce stare. Your entire face now covered in a thick blush. “I-I wasn’t looking at anything-” You lie, pushing past him. He takes a second to do some looking of his own, his eyes fixed on the swell of your ass as you walk away from him.

You stand impatiently outside the agency, fiddling with your phone, trying to push the image of Bakugo’s perfect body our of your mind. You take a quick look over your shoulder, making sure the blonde hadn’t followed you out. The sound of a honk made you turn attention to the company car that pulled up ready to take you home and save you from your own embarrassment.

Sliding into the backseat you offer a nervous smile, “S-Sorry thank you-” You’re interrupted by the force of someone pushing you into the space of the empty seat next to you. “Move over, Rookie.” The voice makes you tense, and you lose your balance falling back awkwardly into the empty seat. Your hands moving to tug the hem of your skirt down as not to expose yourself.

“W-What?” You sit up properly, adjusting in your seat. “Get your own car.” Your tone laced with false confidence immediately ruined by his ruby orbs peering down on you.

“Quit whining.” He snaps, shoving you further over with his large frame. “Drive.” He instructs and to your horror the car starts moving. You push against him with both hands, shoving him back over to his side. “Keep your dumb giant body over there.” He lets out an amused ‘tch’ and leans back in his seat. A stretch of awkward silence fills the air and it takes a second for you to relax in your seat.

There’s an obvious tension between you two, it’s thick and heavy and it makes Bakugo’s chest tighten. He decides against his better judgement, to find out if you were feeling just as fucking needy as he was.

Bakugo keeps his attention fixed on the window, but experimentally spreads his legs, his knee hitting yours. You take the bait like a fool. Shifting away from him, your mouth opens to lecture him about personal space but your jaw snaps as your eyes fix on the prominent bulge in his slacks. It finally dawns on you that he’s not even hard, he’s just that big.

“Shit-” You mutter out loud. Panic covers your features at your sudden lack of filter and you force yourself to look up, not surprised that Bakugo’s glaring down at you. “Keep looking at me like that, Princess, and i’ll get the wrong idea.” The pet name makes you rub your legs together in anticipation, why were you being so desperate right now? Suddenly, you felt the overwhelming urge to rip those stupid pants right off of his body and slip his cock in your mouth.

“I’m not!” You blurt out the obvious lie, covering your flushed face before smacking your head on the window in a feeble attempt to physically knock the sinful thoughts out of your mind. You were finding it increasingly difficult to focus on anything but the man beside you, he let out a dark chuckle at your embarrassment.

You glance over again and he rolls his hips slightly, purposefully, as he notices you sneaking another peek. “Oi!” He grips your face in his hand, roughly squeezing your cheeks together, you whimper at his force and you see his eyes widen a bit at the sound.

“What did I just fucking say, Princess?” You move your hands up to pry at his wrist to loosen his grip but he won’t budge. Your eyes betray you and you look down again. You swear his pants are even tighter then before and your tongue rolls out of your mouth at the sight, practically salivating.

“Oh fuck-“ Bakugo groans unable to keep himself from shoving his fingers into your open mouth. Your mouth shuts immediately and you begin to suck harshly against his slender digits. “Shit, you’re so fucking needy.” He began rhythmically pushing his fingers deeper into your mouth, eliciting a gag as he reached the back of your throat. You were actually drooling now, all over yourself and his hand, but you continue to take his fingers greedily. They actually tasted better than you could have imagined, they had a slight sugary sweetness to them.

Pulling his fingers from your warm mouth, he watches as excess saliva drips out, you unable to stop it due to his vice grip on your cheeks. His gaze darkens at the sight and he’s looking at you with a hungry need that makes you rub your legs together. Leaning forward enough to feel his breath fan your face, he smirks darkly, chewing his bottom lip in anticipation.

“Such a mess for me already and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He teases, his nose brushes against yours and you lean forward, whining when he pulls back just enough that he’s just out of reach. You clutch the fabric of his dress shirt in both hands, trying to pull him closer to you. “Bet you’d like that huh, Princess?” he asks, and you can’t help but nod like an idiot. You feel his grip on your face loosen a little.

His tongue lolls from his mouth slightly, per his instincts and he leans in, unable to control himself any longer, ready to taste that cute mouth of yours when the driver clears his throat rather loudly.

The two of you freeze, hyperaware of your surroundings. Bakugo pulls his hands away and you nearly fall forward.

“We’ve arrived, Miss.”

You wipe the spit off of your face as quickly as you can, and you stare at Bakugo in horror. “I-uh-” Your brain fails you as you try to form coherent sentences. Grabbing your bag from the floor you scramble out of the car shouting a ‘thank you’ to the driver as you leave Bakugo in the car alone, with his lewd thoughts, raging hard on and a very polite driver.

It takes him a second to snap out of his daze fully and by then he’s already a few blocks down the street. “Fuck-” He grips the passenger and driver side seats and leans forward so he can see the driver. “Stop the fucking car.” The driver looks confused, “S-Sir?” Bakugo is looking over his shoulder through the backseat window and the tightening in his chest worsens as he continues to get further and further away from your apartment.

“I said stop the fucking car.” He snaps again and the driver begins to slow the vehicle down to stop. But Bakugo being the impatient little shit that he is exits the car before it can even stop properly leaving the driver thoroughly annoyed and maybe a little bit flustered.

He starts a normal pace once he’s out of the car but it’s not long before he breaks out into a full sprint toward your place.

You’re clutching your chest, trying to calm yourself, but the urge to slip your hands between your legs to relive some tension overwhelming you. Every time you try to think of something besides the goddamn porno scene in the car your brain throws it right back at you.

Just as you hike up the front of your skirt ready to finish the job yourself when violent banging on your door makes you scream pathetically in surprise. You throw it open immediately. It’s Bakugo. Thank heavens it’s Bakugo. His face flushed, thin layer of sweat glistening in the afternoon light.

“You too?” He asks breathlessly.

“Yeah.” You respond, equally dazed.

“Fuck.” You say simultaneously.

You blink and his large hands are gripping your biceps to pull you toward himself and his lips crash hungrily against yours. He walks you both forward enough to shut the door behind him with his foot. His hands move to your waist and he spins you both around shoving you back against the door, his palms pressing against it, arms caging you in.

“What are you doing to me?” He asks, there’s a mixture of jest and seriousness in his voice. He tugs his dress skirt collar open exposing more of his neck and chest in an attempt to cool himself down.

Now he’s done it. You can’t help yourself any longer, and you lick a hot stripe up his neck, before doubling back to pepper desperate kisses against it. A low throaty groan escapes him and your fingers fumble as you begin to unbutton his dress shirt completely. He watches as you undress him, his tongue darting from between his lips wetting them before he leans down to capture you in another needy kiss. Shrugging the shirt off of his body, he begins to unbuckle his belt.

You pull back for air, eyes wandering to his clothed member, eager for to see him, to taste him. He can see it too, the want, the need in your eyes. It matches the look in his own, vermillion and glassy. Your self control wavers again and you drop to your knees pulling his slacks down with a few good tugs, they were as tight as they looked.

Finally, his cock is free and of course it’s bigger than you thought, you take a moment to admire it before slipping it into your mouth. He hisses at the sudden warmth, both hands tangling into your hair, the dull pain against your scalp elicits a moan and you feel him shudder as he tries to compose himself.

“Couldn’t wait to suck my-” His breath hitches, an unintentional whimper falling from his lips as you move to take the entirety of him, cheeks hollowing as you greedily suck his cock. His hips rut involuntarily and you gag around him, the feeling of your throat around his aching cock almost send him over the edge.

Your movements are desperate and sloppy, moaning and mewling against him like his cock is the best thing you've ever tasted. You make eye contact and notice he’s having a hard time keeping his cool. His face flushed a dark pink, panting, low groans falling easily from him lips.

You’re honestly quite pleased with yourself.

With a sharp tug he pulls you off of his dick, excess saliva drips from your mouth and you look up at him confused. He presses the pad of his thumb against your tongue and you open your mouth wider for him.

“You’re being such a greedy little slut.” He comments, a smirk finding his lips, his hands move to grip the front of your dress shirt and he pulls you up off of your knees, tearing the shirt in the process. The second you’re standing he pulls you into another kiss, hot and blistering. His hands searing against the plush skin of your chest, he lingers at the lacy cups of your bra before activating his quirk just enough to burn the fabric away. The sound startles you a bit but the feeling of his hands expertly kneading at your breasts makes it hard to concentrate on anything else.

He pulls one hand away replacing it with his lips, when he pulls away to give your other side the same attention his teeth lightly drag against the tender bud forcing a moan to spill from your lips. Your fingers dip down under your skirt to give your mess of a pussy some much needed attention. Your frustration is only made worse when Bakugo catches your wrist in his hand.

“Did I say you could touch yourself, slut?” He growls, you look up at him, still trying to pry your hand out of his grip. “Then you touch me.” You command weakly, voice dripping with want.

He can wait, he can. He’s trying to act like he’s completely in control. Like he isn’t burning up with desire, like he can hold out a little longer.

He can’t.

“F-Fuck.” He spins you around, pinning you against the door, thankfully you were able to put your hands up to keep from slamming your face into it. He pushes your skirt up and it bunches at your waist, you hear a loud ‘rip’ and he’s tossing what’s left of your panties on the floor. He teases the head of his cock along your dripping slit, you wiggle your ass impatiently.

He finds purchase on your hips before sliding into your soaking core. “S-So fucking tight, shit..” He mumbles to himself. You cover your mouth stifling a groan as you feel his cock stretch you out. His fingers dig into your hips harder and you’re certain they’ll bruise. He gives a shallow thrust, and you bite your lip to suppress another moan. His hands move to grip your arms where they bend, pulling them back toward him.

“I want to hear those dirty little moans, Princess.” You can't see his face but you can hear him smirking. You don’t have time to object as he begins thrusting into you, his pace brutal, your legs nearly buckle beneath you. But he’s strong enough to keep you steady. It doesn’t take very long for your orgasm to sneak up on you, each drag of his cock only worsens the feeling of impending pleasure building inside you. “I’m so close..” You whimper breathless, and he adjusts his grip. Both of your wrists are in his hand now, still trapped behind your back, his free hand moving to rub messy circles into your puffy clit pushing you closer and closer to your release.

“Cum for me, cum all over my cock like a good little slut.”

His skillful and calculated thrusts, mixed with his fingers teasing your clit and his permission to cum overwhelm you. “F-Fuck, Bakugo!” Your orgasm washes over you more violently than you were expecting, you’re a mess, whining and moaning incoherent praises. The feeling of you constricting so perfectly around his cock has Bakugo not far behind you, he releases your arm, and it hurts to move them, but you press your palms flat against the door as he adjusts himself his grip returning to your hips, his thrusts become more sloppy and erratic as he’s coming undone.

“S-shit, Princess, I- haah- I’m close.” He nearly whines, you begin to push back against him, doing what you can to match his movements. “Cum inside, Bakugo.” You command, your voice is smooth and breathy.

“Fuck-” You groan in unison as he fills you with hot ropes of cum, he falls forward a little, one hand on your hip the other against the door to steady himself as he rides out his high, his hips still gingerly thrusting into you. When he’s finished and you’re satisfied and full, he slowly pulls out, hissing at the overstimulation.

You both take a moment, still processing what happened. Bakugo lets out an amused huff of air and your glance over your shoulder.

Well this was new.

Sure, Bakugo knew his recovery time was amazing but never instantaneous. You glance down nervously at his still fully hardened cock, eyes widening at the sight. You dare to meet his gaze, hazy and piercing.

Without warning, Bakugo slides two fingers into your still dripping cunt, you whimper, pressing against the door with more force. He chuckles darkly and it matches his devilish smirk. You were suddenly hit with the realization that your night was far from over.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you, Princess.”

BONUS:

The two of you lie in bed, exhausted and completely fucked out. You’re nearly asleep, resting comfortably on Bakugo’s firm chest as he rubs slow, soothing circles against your soft skin.

It’s interrupted by your phone, the loud ring tone makes you both cringe. He reaches to answer it, you open your mouth to object partly since it’s your phone and partly because the loss of contact but honestly you’re too tired to truly argue about it.

“Y/N’s phone.” He answers, voice slightly hoarse.

“Oh yeah?” He glances at you with a smug smirk.

“I think we’ve figured that part out-” You put two and two together and realize it's probably someone from the agency informing you on the unknown quirk you were both hit with earlier.

“Yeah, thanks for nothing.” He says his tone slightly irritated.

“One more thing, have whatever paperwork I need to document a workplace relationship on my desk in the morning.” He instructs and hangs up the phone. Your eyes widen a little and he thinks it’s cute how hopeful you look.

You chew your lip a little, “Is that paperwork for us?” You ask weakly, and he rolls over so he’s on top of you, arms caging you in.

“Of course it is, stupid.”

Your nervousness disappears the moment his lips meet yours.

#bakugo x reader #bakugo imagine #bakugo smut #bakugou smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha imagines #bakugou x reader #mha imagines #nillabeamwrites #realgarfieldgirl

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atiny-piratequeen · 3 years

Note

Oh okay, in the story I'm writing the character who is being penetrated is the dominant one, and I think it would be really hot for her to train him gradually over time to adjust and be able to accommodate her body, moulding and conditioning his dick as well as his mouth to be able to take her, purely for her own benefit. I'm into d/s and powerplay so I assume this is why I like it. I into everything that comes with it, her "training" his dick to adjust to her pussy including being made to have his dick inside her for extended periods of time as part of his training, as well as him being told to use toys to size train himself on his own. And then slowly introducing different sizes (could be bigger or smaller, honestly I was kinda confused when you immediately started talking about smaller sizes cause in my head I was actually imagining size training to take larger orifices like how you were saying about in my first ask with larger insertions), and how it would be slightly painful/uncomfortable for him at first but she praises him and tells him how good he's being the whole time. I have some sadist tendencies I'm also into the idea of him getting to confident and trying to take more than he can handle at that moment and going to rough and hard and it being painful for him as a result and ending up "bambi walking" as you put it lol (although I feel like this is a different topic to gradual size training, and also even though I find the idea hot I don't actually want to send anyone to the hospital by fucking them, I don't find sexual injuries sexy in real life). Maybe it's weird, but I find the idea of his body literally needing time to physically adjust to her extremely hot, as well as his body being trained to take something it couldn't before and her needing to spend time on with him to help him and prep him properly to take her without being in pain and not risk hurting him if he's not ready for it, I like the vulnerability of him possibly being hurt so she has to help him prep and be gentle with him.

I'm not talking about if the partner being penetrated isn't turned on enough or isn't wet enough, or if they're uncomfortable or in pain, I'm just talking about them training their partner to take them before actually fucking them. Also, what if it's a demon au like with your fic and they literally have a different biology to humans and their genitals are different and so their dick needs to be trained to get used to it (this is not what I'm currently writing, it's just another thought I had).

Obviously using a toy that's way too small can be uncomfortable and cause injury but like you said, that's also true of someone who just decides to insert a 12 inch dildo up their ass no?

"there’s no real reason to train someone’s dick for insertion" "i suppose the only 'training’ you can do is with fleshlights that are a bit small for your dick size but like…thats a bit of an extra step when you should be prepping your partner" Idk tho isn't it kind of weird to prescribe what is the "right" way to do things or what "should" be done or that there's no reason to do something because surely that is down to the people involved and what they like/prefer? It seems you're saying that size training is necessary if you want to have sex with a toy/dildo that is larger than average? And quite a few people liked it so I'm assuming they agree, but what I don't get is what do people do if someone with a larger than average dick and/or their partner don't like or want these roles? Like I assume this must have happened before? You said that words of praise are important but what if the other partner doesn't particularly like to receive praise and would rather give it? What if the person with the larger dick likes the idea of being trained by their partner more than their partner being trained? What if the person being penetrated prefers to be the one to give foreplay and help prep their partner for sex and the big dicked person prefers to receive foreplay and be taken care of and be gently and slowly prepped by their partner?

Like I like having vaginal sex and I'm not into painful sex or receiving pain during sex but if I meet a partner who happens to have a larger dick, does that mean I have to do this if I want to have sex comfortably? Honestly I hate the idea of needing to be "trained" or "prepped" to take someone's dick, just thinking about it is kind of making me feel sick to be honest. I would much rather be the one doing the training and prepping, I want that role instead, but I still want to be penetrated at the same time, so where does that put me?

It sucks that it's not called size training, because for better or for worse the more edgy or obscure the kink or tag is the more attention and notes it tends to get and size related kinks in particular are usually very popular. I guess it just sucks that I see so many writers writing for these kinds of kinks like with your demon au fic and they get so many notes and comments from people who just love it praising them and gushing about how hot it is and it sucks to know that I'll probably never get that kind of attention because like your saying it isn't possible for me to write those kinks in reverse or if I can it won't appeal to as many people because there's no real reason for the act or doesn't make sense like it does the other way around and then I just, feel like I can't compete because I can't write stuff like that or write those kinks because it doesn't work that way around. And then I feel bad for feeling bad or for wanting that same kind of popularity or attention because I feel like I'm being ungrateful or bitter and I don't know how to deal with it. But thank you for talking to me.

I...m not gonna lie like the end of this ask really has a kind of vibe that rubs me the wrong way tbh.

I was going to try and tackle the several points here but on fucking god the way you came at me over this and how shit in here is worded really comes off as fucking rude. I never said every single time someone takes someone larger they need to be trained for it. Your first ask was literally "what is size training" not "does someone always need size training to take a larger person"

People always write things that may not be 'common' or have a specific name for it but the fucking passive aggressive (whether intentional or not) "I'll never get as many notes as you/people who write it like xyz" really rubs me the wrong way and felt like a fucking punch in the face to someone i was trying to help in earnest based on the questions you asked me.

Write whatever you want. But you dont go into someones fucking ask box and basically guilt trip them because of note count just because of a difference in the content you make and how you make it and the way readers consume it.

I cannot tell you how many times I've written something maybe my readers have never seen before or dont quite have a popular niche but people end up loving it. If you're that passionate about your work, write it the fuck anyway but don't ever go into someone's box sideways with the way you spoke to me at the end there.

By the way, what you're talking about sounds closer to cock warming with a submissive male and possible orgasm denial. Because like i said in both asks, you cant really train a dick for tighter things. If HES too uncomfortable taking a partner thats too tight, his partner should be looser. If your female character sits on his dick to get him used to her vagina, thats still her body slowly loosening up and eventually it'll be easier on him. And obviously size training isnt needed in every case and people are different. I never said anything was a hard line in how sex should happen.

#bruh ngl this shit fucking killed my whole vibe and ruined a bit of my night #the absolute fuck is that tone and wording what the fuck?#asks #anontiny

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emersonfreepress · 3 years

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okay so is there content that you had planned for the ROs and story in general but then scrapped cause there wasn’t a good place in the story to stick it in? and if so, can you share what it was? 👀 👀 👀

yes, definitely. *rubs hands together* oh man, you done asked THE question today xD I can't wait to get into this 😁

Academics. I almost decided to have classes and grades be a minor part of gameplay, but the more time I spent designing it the more I realized I wanted nothing to do with it 😂 I haven’t really enjoyed academic gameplay in other interactive fiction because I 1) hate having to choose between studying and interacting with awesome characters, 2) have terrible short term memory, and 3) hate school in general!! So instead I just opted to have the MC be really good at school, point blank period so I could focus on social drama and relationships instead! 😆

Physical skills. I spent literal months crafting the catering scene around setting up stats for stamina/endurance, dexterity, and strength instead of just magnetism, confidence, and persuasion. They had their own backstories with the MC’s parents being overly invested sports parents instead and I think the background choices were like... martial arts, gymnastics, and track? But yeah, I ended up scrapping it all because I was spending hours on research about those individual sports so I could integrate them into the MC’s narrative organically but like... when I tried to think of what use they would be in the actual story, I came up blank. Best decision yet, esp since it means a lot less coding!

Skin tone customization. For one, I noticed that a lot of my favorite IFs don’t offer that customization and it hasn’t impacted my experience at all. For two, I originally realized I might as well not implement it since I am striving real hard not to introduce any customization that won’t actually be mentioned in interesting or meaningful ways in-story. I don’t think it’s really all that common for real life friends (esp in high school?) to comment or compliment each other’s skin and like... when it comes from someone who doesn’t share a similar complexion or ethnic background, that type of commentary gets... d i c e y. So then I wanted to be sensitive to that but what’s the pay-off? An RO mentioning how they love your skin tone once? Awkward sentences with the MC referring to their own skin color? Idk, just wasn’t vibing with it. I’m open to revisiting it in beta or something but for now it’s scrapped.

Singing, Rapping, and Gaming as Hobbies/Talents. I feel bad about scrapping these, honestly 😂 They’re great and I really wanted to incorporate them but it just came down to already having a lot of stuff to code. Plus, I know I can write the Hobbies/Talents I stuck with far better. And for Book 2 purposes, as well!

Leo. as @sourandflightypeaches asked me about a long while ago, I had to scrap an entire RO 😢 His name is Leo, he was the nephew of wealthy west African diplomats residing in Emerson, and I love him dearly! His backstory was largely based on my mother’s childhood and the circumstances she lived through after immigrating to America. and... ok, i’m about to go on one hell of a tangent so buckle up and bear with me if you can 😅

my intention with this story, aside from writing things that I personally enjoy (graphic violence, spooky woods, social drama, romance, conspiracies 😚), is to explore greed, wealth, and how the ways people and families interact with those two things influence young people and who they grow up to be. here i go sounding pretentious af 😝 and here’s where I apply a cut for those who want to preserve a little mystery to the main characters!

With Gabe, we’ve got someone who grew up with very little stability or financial security but who has found unscrupulous methods to gain status and money, with both noble and selfish motivations.

Kile has some of that childhood experience in common with Gabe, having been in the foster care system since infancy, but they lucked out when they were adopted into massive wealth by a caring, loving couple—a couple that uses their wealth and privilege to be far more lenient and protective of Kile than is actually reasonable or responsible.

Jack comes from a prestigious wealthy family on his dad’s side who he loves dearly but there’s no getting around the fact that they love him back as much as they despise his working class mom.

Jessie is a spoiled sweet heiress (being the baby of her family and the only girl) and while she lives blissfully ignorant of the harmful source and impact of her father's income and career, she bears the weight of the expectation to fulfill very traditional gender roles, including her behavior and appearance, but also extending to her career and life plans.

Rain's wealth led to them growing up sheltered and isolated but also extremely accommodated, giving them maximum freedom and opportunity to discover and develop their personal talents and interests. However, they have almost no positive relationship with their parents who have essentially decided to give up on a kid that couldn't be exactly the accessory they tried to mold them to be—both in terms of their identity and personality.

Rupan/Rohan, at their very core, rejects everything about conformity, self-importance, and excessive luxury—which means they have never, ever truly fit in with their peers. Going full non-conformist, however, has resulted in them becoming alienated from much of their family, as well, despite them all loving each other very much. Their history with false friends and betrayals has led them to over-indulge in their vices and reckless behavior to compensate for that isolation. Sometimes, they just get in over their head and many times, they know better. Every time, it's just that the feeling of finally belonging is utterly intoxicating.

Vivian/Vincent has two extremely successful parents who didn't inherit but instead built up their wealth and they aspire to be just like them, to a degree that is well and truly unhealthy. Their mother specifically is an over-achiever and applies mountainous pressure for them to follow in her footsteps, especially academically. Vi is completely capable of achieving what their mom expects of them, but they were already an extremely sensitive perfectionist so this has made them intensely critical of themself. This is a large part of why they are such a rigid, no-nonsense person and that in turn has made them one of the most disliked people among their peers—which is a huge personal failure to them since their father is a very well-liked and socially successful person in town.

And the Emersons are peak privilege: inherent high social status, brains, looks, charisma, athleticism, and massive wealth. They could never have been anything less than extremely popular, just by virtue of their last name and the nature of the town's social dynamics and politics. And they do enjoy that privilege (esp Curt lol). However, it should go without saying that being so high profile, even (or maybe especially) just in the isolated scope of your hometown, isn't always a boon. Their family's and their own perceived failings are widely discussed and privately mocked and/or celebrated. Real friends are scarce while fake ones and snakes are plentiful. Plus their dad is a gigantic dickhead who sees his kids as extensions of his own status and reputation and not much else. Public shortcomings make for an unbearable time at home and the world outside the estate is at once overly accommodating, full of assumptions, and even subtly hostile at times—all unrelated to their own actions or character.

And with the MC, I think the narrative will make it clear there are several ways that story can go. You start off with irresponsible parents that have lost their wealth due to their own mismanagement and material ambitions—how that affects any individual MC should differ based on choices and consequences!

So why bring any of that up when I was supposed to be talking about my cut OC? 😂😂

Leo was going to be the unwelcome recent addition to his uncle’s household, the son of a brother his aunt hates for (petty af) Reasons, and she took that resentment out on him directly by restricting his access to nearly every aspect of the family's wealth. Especially material goods and living conditions. He was basically treated like the help, tasked with playing nanny for his many younger cousins and burdened with doing the homework and providing academic cover for his dumb as rocks cousin in the same grade as you all. To sum it up, he was basically a victim of trafficking at the hands of his own family with his uncle out of town enough to feign ignorance to how bad his wife was treating his nephew and his aunt going out of her way to keep him busy, at home, and isolated. This is sadly a super common form of trafficking in Francophone African cultures (although I don't think most people view it as trafficking. and I’m sure the same is true of other cultures but I don’t want to speak outside of my purview). And like I mentioned above, it’s how my own mom's (and idek how many cousins') child/teenhood went.

It’s a perspective on modern wealth, privilege and greed that I really, really wanted to tell. I am confident in saying it hasn't been explored in interactive fiction yet (though correct me—and direct me 👀—if I'm wrong) and out of all the wealth/greed explorations I came up with, it's the one I have the closest personal ties to and the strongest feelings about. The characters and plans I had for it were detailed and I'm proud of them but at the end of the day... I just couldn't find a place for Leo in the story at large.

Leo was, in fact, the last main character I came up with, when I had already designed and fleshed out the larger story and started crafting the timeline of major events. I think the worst thing I could have done for a story and perspective that I care about this much is shove it into a plot that didn't have room for it at the very base level, regardless of how well the character or his story is written. Shoe-horned characters always stick out. I didn’t want to disservice Leo by having him be the character that did nothing or could be removed from the main plot without affecting it at all, y’know? That’s so much worse than just forgoing the indulgence, imo :((

ugh.... Leooooo 😭 I'm so sorry bb, I failed youuu 😥

#lovely anon #answered #hotmess #ok I am truly so sorry for going on and on like this #writing #ch design #ty for this question it was really nice to revisit this stuff 😃#and a nice reminder to not look back lol #scrapped

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dolcetters · 3 years

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vanilla sunday .

no one asked, i just heckin’ felt like it m’dude. under readmore for length. i’ll try to keep my answers relatively to-the-point, too, since this’ll be a longer post but feel free to inquire on things or ... whatever u-u/ aye. i go sleep now.

is your muse a romantic? do they dream of love and marriage?

short answer: no.

as a teenager, dol didn’t have much interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with any of his peers around yuflam--or at all, really. by the time he got to academy things were either too busy or starting to get too tense for him to consider the idea. and shortly after that he went over a decade thinking he’d never even see sunlight again.

at this point, he just... --it’s just another thing he might want but doesn’t recognize it as something he wants. because he’s earnestly so bad at listening to his own desires and is more than willing to cast them aside if it means aiding someone he cares about achieve their own.

is your muse a deviant? are they overly flirtatious or forward?

no. there’s no real expansion on this, just no. <xD he tends to be much more bashful and sheepish, partially because of aforementioned inability to recognize he might want a relationship with someone. and even if he DOES realize this, he’s... extremely self aware. we’ll leave it at that.

is your muse good at kissing? are they experienced?

NOPE. and no. he’s never kissed anyone.

does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact?

nooooo no no no. he has an anxiety disorder (haphephobia) revolving around physical contact and even something as “small” as shaking hands or a shoulder bump can make him very nervous, uncomfortable and alert. the reaction is almost doubled if it comes with the sensation or energy of being grabbed.

it’s going to take a lot of time, patience, and trust for him to be comfortable initiating physical contact with you.

is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection?

no, for both the above reason as well as the paranoia that comes with being a fugitive/legally dead. the less attention that’s drawn to him, the better. at most, he’d hold your hand... but refer to the previous question for that.

does your muse steal clothing from their partner?

less “steal” and more borrow. due to having limited resources after escaping the labs and very few belongings he can truly call his own, dol wouldn’t/doesn’t just take or use things that belong to friends, family or potential partners (part of this spurs from his OWN resource guarding). he’d be more likely to approach you while you were brushing your teeth and be like “hey, s’it cool if i wear your hoodie today” and then respond based on that answer.

and he’s going to ask you every time. he doesn’t assume.

is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

varies! but most likely, when they’re facing each other, he little-spoons because pressing his face into the curve of the neck just above the collar is not only secure and comforting somehow, but he can hear your heartbeat.

when one of them is facing away, he tends to big spoon. --and obviously this is all assuming he’s at that level of comfort when it comes to physical touch + the partner.

is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? are they insecure?

complicated?

he’s very comfortable and proud of his body when it comes to his physical build, strength, fitness, etc. his strength and speed is something he values and keeping himself healthy and capable is very important to him. he knows he’s done a good job (those arms don’t lie) and he takes pride in that.

~however~, being a chimera... --he’s optimistic, yes. he’s just happy to be alive, of course. it’s not so bad. ...but he is fully, deeply, and painfully aware of how someone might react to witnessing some of his “quirks” when it comes to his splice or the idea of being with someone who isn’t entirely human. and the fact that he often became a target of light jabbing and jokes with the nesties, because dog behavior is much more well-known and commonly familiar than croc or snake or bull behavior, has only added to this awareness.

then, of course, there’s the added detail that he’s not even a perfected chimera. he’s just a successful one. a C- on some government biology test; barely passing.

so yeah. there’s some surface level pride, but... a lot of shame underneath.

is your muse attracted to any features in particular?

physical? no.

he has a soft spot and respect for people who refuse to give into their pain, though. where he experienced trauma and fear and let it make him hardened in a lot of ways, there are other people who have only become brighter, warmer, and do whatever they can to keep someone else from experiencing what they have.

to say he admires that trait in a person is an understatement.

have their crushes been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he’s only really had two, and they’ve both been gals, so i guess that makes it mostly female. i’ve mentioned before that he might have been uselessly in love with martel in the time before the raid (whether she felt the same is unknown) and he in default verse is lowkey sweet on rose.

have their partners been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he hasn’t had a partner.

is your muse easily flustered? do they blush, swear, etc.?

yes, yes, yes. him being flustered is usually a combo-result of: (1) not being used to that kind of attention from someone he actually likes, (2) having no idea how to respond, (3) internalized shame over what he is, and (4) he’s a fucking idiot.

where is your muse most sensitive?

his head, mostly, especially on his hair line and around the ears.

and i can 10000% promise to you that if he ever lets you comb your fingers in his hair or rub around his temples and you make some kind of dog-related-comment, you’re actually going to cause a shit-ton of psychic damage i’m gonna need you to roll like 10d6 for me.

please, please please please don’t ever refer to him as--or make jokes connecting him to--a dog in moments that are supposed to be vulnerable and/or intimate, i can’t... express this enough, it will hurt him.

is your muse more submissive or dominant in a relationship?

idk, i guess submissive but again: idk

would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

nah. not really his thing.

if he does “tempt” them it’s going to be sincerely accidental. like... yeah you walked in on me doing pull-ups i guess. would you hand me my water bottle? i’m parched.

does your muse initiate heated/sexual contact, or do they wait for their partner?

i feel like this question deserves it’s own post because i have a LOT of thoughts regarding rosecetto, specifically, on this topic.

outside of that ship, however, the answer is likely no. he’s not the initiator primarily for touch-anxiety reasons and also chimera-related-shame reasons, even if the partner has assured him there’s nothing wrong with him in the past.

does your muse leave hickies? do they ask for them?

eeehhhhh???? ... i guess accidentally sometimes?? and no.

does your muse like to be pinned down, or to pin their partner?

that’s a big NO. if you pin him down, even if he’s reached a point of security with you that he allows you to touch him, you’re going to flare up any of that anxiety that had previously subsided. he’s been physically restrained and held down far too long and all for bad/painful reasons, and he can’t associate it with anything other than “they’re going to hurt me and i need to get away, no matter what i have to do”.

as for pinning his partner, it’s likely also a no because he’d just... be too aware of his own trauma to even try doing it and he’d probably be uncomfortable being asked to do it.

has your muse reached first/second/third base? home run?

honey, he’s done nothing, he hasn’t even swung--

would your muse be interested in engaging with multiple partners?

no. he doesn’t see anything wrong with it when it comes to other people but this is definitely not for him or something he could be comfortable with.

would your muse ever send a sexual text message? would they send pictures?

n/a, but even in modern verses the answer would be no

does your muse read smut, own magazines, or watch p-rn?

nah

is your muse the type to discuss their sex life or sexual prowess with others?

abso. fucking lutely. not. no no no.

at absolute. MOST? he might open up to sakura (yinseal) about it. maybe greed (avadite). and it’d only be if he felt like he was doing something wrong or felt overwhelmed and self-conscious. but otherwise this is his and his partner’s business.

is your muse a top, a bottom, or a switch? do they have a lean?

defaults to bottom but will top if asked or in some circumstances.

crystal has confirmed that rose (forsakenflora) tops, so jfdlfjklsjkldhsd

how interested is your muse in sex and sexual activity?

he’s not.

it’s not a priority of his, and he definitely doesn’t want to hear about yours.

do they have sex frequently, occasionally, or rarely?

not at all right now jf kljdklhshf lhfklsdg

#♠: prompted headcanons .#////nsfw /// / /#////suggestive // // ///#[ and with that i bid you goodnight ]

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shay11a · 4 years

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New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again.

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that.

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING)

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece.

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius.

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic.

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective) makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area.

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing.

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant.

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking.

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?”

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part....

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you… ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled” This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her. Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow.

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else)

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.” The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?” <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way.

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?” No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends.

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable.

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails.

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again.

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism.

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that.

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t.

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! !

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin.

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook #jk #bts fanfic #fanfic review #New rules #god I finally finished this #I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels #like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished #it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh #please read it :(((#I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person #I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that #Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you

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izzyovercoffee · 4 years

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more SW salt re: that long post going around

((edit: just to clarify, this is re: a prequel era post. I don’t disagree with everything, but I am super tired w/ the attitudes in that ‘meta’ post. yes, fandom is hypocritical about their criticisms, but that post glosses over so many real world issues, presented as meta, that I can’t help but be salty about it))

idk man, I feel like you can make some arguments to defend the Order without simultaneously making the argument that making people of different cultures and different walks of life believe they cannot adequately care for their children and so need to give them up... is a “good thing” actually ... (especially when it’s guaranteed those children are completely separated and cut off from their culture and, more specifically, their families and communities). that whole super long post going around doesn’t once address the nuances of cultural genocide, of imperialism, of classism, that’s inherent in the Order’s mechanisms of taking children into their care in the very exact and specific way they do.

hell, like, just even the minimum awareness of how poor black and brown families on earth TODAY are specifically targeted and often have their children taken by the state “for their own good” or because they’re “not adequately provided for”, would have me take a second look at making that argument, let alone understanding how, say, the native re-education boarding schools worked in the americas and how they functioned to spiritually kill the indigenous people to the great degree that still has not been undone TODAY.

and then to have entire arguments hinged on the “well being” of the child without understanding that a great harm and hurt was done to the family the child was taken from, and no understanding nor empathy whatsoever for the family whose child was given up, when that sacrifice often was not done without some level of political, emotional, or class (or some combination of any/all of the three) coercion. there’s no empathy and no understanding for the longstanding hurt that removing a child from a family has on the family and the community they were taken from. I genuinely cannot stress this specific point enough, specifically because no one ever bothers to wonder about it, nor ever consider looking at real life examples of this very thing.

it is not an accident that people who have escaped religious and spiritual abuse found within conservative communities (and I am being vague here on purpose) have made direct comparisons to their experiences with the Order as it operated and was presented in the prequel trilogy, and I just find it really done in poor taste that those commentaries and analyses were ignored or outright dismissed with some snide unnecessary comment, along with every other disagreeing comment that’s pointed out any of the above.

I’m not even touching how the entire Order is/was a somewhat fetishistic racist misconstruction of Buddhism at its foundation, seen through and then reconstructed through the lens of a distinctly Christian writer, so when you construct these arguments it would help to mention that ... but most people just outright ignore that decades-old criticism, regardless of how it would bolster intent vs execution in deconstructing and defending the idea over the presentation and writing choices.

there’s also something that really rubs me the wrong way about the same people making some (unfounded?) comment about certain people critical of the Order aren’t using the word genocide for some reason, as if the very same people who are critical of the Order aren’t actually part of the communities I mentioned above (myself included) who are subject to violence from the state, or some degree of separation from some kind of genocide already, but whatever.

but anyway this longass vent goes under the cut because I really do not have the emotional nor mental energy to get into that argument with people, because there’s already a lack of empathy as it is just from reading any and all of those posts, and it really isn’t worth the mess it’ll inevitably blow up into.

as I get older it becomes apparent it isn’t worth getting into arguments with people operating from a position of bad faith, and literally everyone in this fandom (myself included, mind) often start specifically from that position. it’s exhausting tbfh

edit: and, to be clear, I don’t feel this way at the people who reblogged the post---it’s written in such a way to be really compelling and gloss completely over the issues above. of course when you read it, unless you actively engage with or are involved w/ the above, you’re not going to think of these things or even connect them in this way.

I just wish that there was a way to point these things out without it inevitably blowing the hell up in either direction, but sometimes I feel like that’s not really readily possible anymore? or maybe I’m just overly negative loool

#izzy.txt #tbd probably #in a couple of days depending on how i feel and if anyone mistakenly sees it lmao #I have often felt like ppl and fandom at large are too critical of the order and often focused on all the wrong reasons #but that doesn't mean everyone is wrong about everything; or that everyone critical is arguing in bad faith #but that's just like my opinion; man #anyway this is not for rebeagling #i couldve used the word bagel but why would i do that when i could reference like ... puppos

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dolansmith · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on the “Trisha Drama”

I’m going to preface this with my previous thoughts of both sides. I didn’t know who Trisha was until after I found out about the vlog squad about a year ago. I didn’t mind her, i thought she brought out an interesting perspective to the group. Then I thought she was literally off her rocker.

I loved the vlog squad bc I found them in a really difficult time in my life and they kept me from getting too deep into a depression. While I saw some of their mistakes, I saw the best in them all and hoped for change or at least some kind of accountability.

This is gonna be really long and idk if anyone is even gonna read this/care lol but Im just so frustrated with a lot of the people that are into the vs. Like after really looking into everything that happened, I felt kind of ashamed to be backing the vs bc they’re doing some fucked up stuff tbh.

So lets do a basic rundown of mistakes made.

Mistakes in their public relationship: -Trisha: made sexual jokes about jason’s friends, started arguments about her insecurities instead of starting a conversation. -Jason: made sexual jokes about girl’s a decade younger than trisha (and 2 and a half decades younger than him), would complain about having to go do things trisha liked doing and would pout the whole time (i.e. disneyland and a couple of the hamilton viewings), would egg on trishas insecurities, literally dumped her on a daily basis and call her crazy when she voiced said insecurities and then would basically get back together within an hour and practically give everyone whiplash, also talked about her weight and eating habits CONSTANTLY (fucking dick) -David: inputted himself in their relationship, recorded their fights and encouraged their toxic behavior to both his friends and his audience

Mistakes in the “official” breakup: -Trisha: talking about jason’s ex and kids, comparing david to ted bundy (a lil wild but tbh not that big of a deal bc no one actually believed thats what she meant but anyway), the brandon thing (we’ll come back to this) -Jason: continuing to make jokes about fucking a 19/20 year old despite his gf saying she didn’t like it, not putting an end to David “pressuring him” to making said jokes, the brandon thing -David: ignoring his “friend” when she said not to put something in his vlog, putting his image and career first

Mistakes after: -Trisha: constantly going on rants about david and Jason. -Jason: staying in contact with trisha secretly. (ill get back to this too) -David: putting his image above all else.

Now we’re going to get into some uncomfortable hot takes. I’m gonna get a whole lotta hate from stans but tbh idc anymore

The Brandon Thing (I’ve done some digging since her video exploding at Jeff):

-Brandon began a relationship with a high schooler. She was underage the first time they had sex. There’s receipts and timelines set up. I’d recommend Petty Paige’s Youtube video on it for specifics. -Lot’s of vs fans say she only brought it up when her and Jason ended so that meant she didn’t really care, but I’d like to point out that she has stated (on more than one occasion) that she voiced her thoughts on this multiple times to the group in Private and no one cared. Y’all are always going on about how she should say whatever she has to say in private but when she does and is ignored, what then? Just a thought. -Let’s also bring the rest of the vs up in this. How come none of them ever said anything? They’re the ones still out here tolerating him. Pretty hypocritical. I’m not gonna aim anything at the girls bc none of them have Brandon in their videos but the guys? Jeff, Jason, David, Todd and I think Scott too, have all had Brandon in at least one video. They’re out here talking shit about Trisha amongst each other but are friends with a predator? Lmao Okay, cool.

Jason Keeping in Contact for months:

-This was dumb. -As someone who has suffered from mental health issues and has been in a mental hospital and suffered from attachment AND abandonment issues, Trisha would’ve been better off had Jason ended things and kept them that way. Instead, he ended their public relationship and friendship. He kept her a secret from even his “friends” and then dragged on their “friendship” for months. For what? He should’ve just given her her things and closure and kept it pushing. -On that, why did he keep her belongings for so long and refuse to give it back until she said something public about it? He ignored her calls and texts about her very expensive things for weeks. Then she made a video calling him out on it, and she got her stuff back. -I’m seeing a pattern here, aren’t you?

The Jeff Thing (did some digging on him too...by digging i mean google):

-This one makes my blood boil for several reasons. ESPECIALLY AFTER TODAYS VIDEO. It rlly put everything into perspective omg. -The starbucks story that Trisha told was the same everywhere: ‘I saw Jeff at Starbucks and said hey. He ignored me and was such a pussy he left his order at the counter after having paid.’ His masculinity is SO FRAGILE that he twisted it into ‘I’m not gonna be fake with someone who fucked over my friend. Can’t fuck them up either tho lol’ and ‘i’m not gonna make shit easy on you, i’m gonna make them feel weird’. What a baby lmfao -His assault joke rubbed me the wrong way. I know Jeff’s schtick is the whole “I was in jail for a few months and I was a drug dealer I’m big and scary” blah blah blah. Listen, I’ve met men that have been in jail longer (he was in for only 4 months he once said I think) and had worse upbringings than he did and HAD to do some of the shit Jeff was doing (which lemme remind yall, was on his own accord). The men that I know that have lived similar and worse lifestyles than Jeff, would never and I REPEAT NEVER, make a joke about assaulting a Woman over “fucking my friend over”, when the situation was what it was. Which was: an exposé, basically. That’s some petty shit, it’s for the birds. (Also, Todd and Jay’s jokes about the assault joke? Ain’t it. They were just as bad as Jeff’s original joke.) -Do y’all know what Jeff’s been to jail for? He tried to assault someone that worked at a 7-Eleven after he and his dumbass friends were fucking around in the store and got yelled at and ended up assaulting a woman walking by. -He also talked about her mental health issues. Maybe he wasn’t talking about her specifically, but it was REAL specific. He said that it was crazy that a “psychopath” that’s been in a mental hospital still had a platform on youtube. That they shouldn’t have one. Trisha made a really good point of, “some could say the same about your time in jail.” Because they could. And mental health can be managed. So can your outrageous anger issues, Jeff. This was really ignorant on his part. -I also want to remind everyone about the time he said he didn’t understand how men could be sexually harassed. That all you had to do was say no. -He says he likes to “make things awkward” and make everything a joke when really he’s just being ignorant and doesn’t want to get real hate when he gets inevitably called out

Trisha’s “Dirt”:

-Trisha doesn’t know anything that the rest of us don’t. We’re just all IGNORING it. Why? Bc David’s charming and Todd and Jeff are pretty? Ridiculous. This is the last vlog squad post i’m going to make because I’m done. So the following is going to be a rundown on the “dirt” on them that made me come to the decision that I wouldn’t be supporting them anymore. I’ll also put my own thoughts and comments underneath in case y’all are curious. Staying silent about these situations is the same as complacency. -Brandon Calvillo: Covered this but to reiterate, he dated a high schooler and slept with her/dated her knowing her age. He then lied about it in a video to cover his tracks. *I am well aware that she was months from being 18. This doesn’t make it okay. What does a 26 year old have in common with a 17 year old? And just because this is the first girl we know about, doesn’t mean she’s the first at all or even the last. -Durte Dom: He was accused of assault at vidcon. *This hasn’t been confirmed. But it also hasn’t even been discussed. This girl is getting hate from vs stans and the vs have stayed silent. I can understand not wanting to show attention to people who make accusations for clout, but assault is serious and should at the Very Least be acknowledged privately or legally bc it could be considered slander. Don’t let your fans (or your friend’s fans) do your dirty work. -Jeff Wittek: He has major anger issues. Makes jokes about assaulting women after actually having assaulted one in the past (accidentally but doesnt take away from what he did) and has made jokes about sexual harassment against men not being viable *tbh he has a “pretty white boy complex”. Meaning he knows that he can say and do what he wants and most people will let it slide bc he’s a pretty white boy. No education needed. -Jason Nash: Is friend’s with a predator, is quite possibly setting an awful example to his kids, namely his daughter. *Listen. I’m a feminist, a woman should be able to decide what to do with her body after she turns 18. But being groomed and hit on by grown ass men when you’re barely legal, ain’t it. If you want to and feel ready, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it BUT 9.9 times out of 10, that fucks a woman up in the future. One day, she is going to see her dad hitting on a 19/20 year old Tana and see that her dad’s 26 year old best friend dated a 17/18 year old and lied about specifics and might think that’s normal and how men should treat her. I won’t support that shit.

And as for all the other member’s of the vs, they either don’t care enough about what their friends or friends’ friends are doing, or they’re not bothering to even consider it’s happening and that isn’t cool either.

Be better.

As for Trisha, she’s had her own faults and fuckups, no doubt about it. I’m not a big fan of her content but i FELT for her. Her name has been dragged through the mud because of this more than anything else and it doesn’t sit right with me when her only real fuckup in THIS situation was bringing the ex and kids into it the way she did. Everything else either could have been avoided or she had a right to say to the public since they put everything about the relationship out in the open as much as she did. If Jason and David had reached out and admitted their own mistakes and asked her to stop talking about them online the way she was, she probably would’ve chilled out. What happened, what they and their fans (us) have done has been nothing short of traumatizing, no doubt. The way these 30 year old boys (Jeff, Todd, Scott and Jay) are reacting to her? They’re the real joke if we’re being honest.

Note: I’d also like to say that if you do still support them and have differing views than I do, I’ll respect you and your views no matter what. Everyones entitled to their opinion and thoughts. These are just mine.

#trisha paytas #vlog squad #jeff wittek #david dobrik #jason nash #durte dom #brandon calvillo #scott sire #most of these men are manipulative af #as much as i love zane matt and heath #they dont speak up either #neither do any of the women which is borderline heartbreaking #rant #I did my best to make everything clear but if theres any confusions or questions or if you just wanna have a discussion about it lmk #Discontinuing Speak Now.

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