#idk what cryptid get but hes no longer part 'when-did-go' if you know what i mean

[cuteteacakes]

I've decided to make some changes to Hank in regards to what he is. In light of what he is right now being indigenous territory I have no right to be using, he's now part cryptid instead.

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

[transsexualhamlet]

More bond content because apparently this is my niche in the fandom now (although yes also william my beloved he gets the attention he deserves)

The fourth fucking james headcanons from my extremely biased opinion of he’s me but better in every way

---

-Bond’s gender is, certainly there, I can say that! He enjoys feminine things and has little to no dysphoria but hates to be percieved as a woman specifically, though he will often misgender himself for comedic purposes. Like he’s a girlboss but NOT a girl, you know that kind of thing.

-Generally, his gender is “whatever bothers cis people the most” to be perfectly honest. It’s very funny for him to confuse and irritate people but he WILL fuck you up if you think you can disrespect him.

-bond constantly pulls the “i fucked your girlfriend” card on moran and it’s very funny. love how that’s canon, straight up.

-every time moran says some shit like in the locker room bond goes lmao u want me and calls him gay. this has proved to be a very effective strategy

-yes, bond has a significant ego, but it’s not at all fragile. The only opinion about himself that he really values is his own, and that’s an advantage when you’re basically a celebrity most of your life. it doesn’t fuck with him like it would with most people.

-Louis had a conversation with him over tea where he just vehamently complained about liam and sherlock being stupid and in love and Bond thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

-him and moneypenny bonded over complaining about moran and moneypenny gave him so much dirt on the man

-Bitch has ~committment issues~ and you KNOW it. He loves being around people and he loves messing around with people but is 100 percent not interested in a long term relationship lmao

-He got his insane platform shoes through a conversation in which he’s like “the one downside of transitioning is that i can no longer wear heels to feel tall” and albert was like “who said that lmao” and custom ordered him the most big dick energy pair of shoes

-he pegged moran once and will never let the man live it down. it’s especially funny considering moran would definitely go for it again but bond is like haha no lmao 

-like legitimately once moran realizes bond’s actually valid bond is still never gonna let him live down the shit he said. it’s funny to him now cause he’s established himself as Better Than Moran now and is going to use this status to embarass the shit out of him constantly. he has no obligation to be nice to moran even tho moran is honestly begging by then and he knows it. Good for him. He’s never gonna give the dude an inch.

-sometimes he will appear in public like a cryptid and cause a few tabloids to go “IRENE ADLER ALIVE??? MAN??? GENDER?????” and he thinks it’s very funny because they’re not credible and no one ever believes them

-before he transitioned i feel like this is kind of obvious but he definitely did this crossdressing/disguise thing constantly, like as a hobby. Being anonymous and tricking people into treating him like a dude was always the best source of seratonin and also very funny. he’s gone by like 50 different names, one of the most infamous being “ryan thomas man” which he came up with on the spot when drunk at a party. he also asserted he was the king of london

-his first gender crisis happened when he played puck in a midsummer performance and he was like damn shawty this gender kinda fire but he largely ignored it because it was useless to entertain the idea at the time

-as an actor there were constant rumors of him being attracted to women but he purposely buried them under the constant scandalous affairs with men who then suddenly and unexpectedly found all their money gone for some unknown reason so no one got around to calling him a lesbian. they didn’t know you could be bisexual

-on that note I think he’s aromantic bisexual :) ignore the fact that i am projecting my entire gender and sexuality onto him :) he can act out romance sure but he’s just like “is that not. friends with sex” and he lives by that. but yeah like romance sounds like a fucking mess to him so he mostly goes about things through one night stands iulgyfktdjrfygu but by loose terms yes he is definitely polyam

-legitimately when the crimes squad contacted him like “yo do you want to be part of the group and fake your death” he’s like uhhhhhh how am i supposed to help idk i can be the whore ig but they’re all like, yeah, we already got like three of those. but you seem pretty resourceful. i mean what do you WANT to do and he’s like uhhhhhhh can i be a man and they’re like. that can be arranged

-also jack fucking adopted him just went oh hello could i perhaps teach you the ways of manhood. need a gun. you look like you need a gun. and then went would u like to be an assassin

-on that note bond has never touched a gun before this! he just went ooh and pulled the trigger the first time they handed him one. somehow it went well. with very little training bond succeeds moran as the squad’s sharpshooter and moran is unbelievably angry about it

;ahsifh;dsohdsds;;sa i definitely could go on but holy shit this is so much

[redhowitzer]

💌 question tag meme;

hiii i was tagged by @knjz for this and im Bored so im gonna mcfreakin go for it

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

i never ask for anything BUT i did receive bc i bought it for myself <3 i’m very impulsive so if i really want something i just buy it

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

last song i listened to was pinball wizard by elton john!! was having a Bit of a throwback day yesterday. last full album i listened to (though it was unintentionally) was hamiltion

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

cheez doodles are my shit <3

4. What is your morning routine?

tbh i don’t really have one? i wake up and sit on my phone for 2-3 hours and then from there decide if i want to stay in bed for a bit longer or get up and do something 

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

i think. i’d be a dragon. 1. they r cool 2. they guard what they deem treasure n im kinda possessive so. i guess i kinda do the same thing

6. How do you interact with somebody that you don’t like?

if it’s irl, i don’t really treat them any differently? i don’t like bad vibes so i don’t wanna create them so i typically try to keep the peace. but online if they text/dm/etc. i just won’t answer or answer in a way that makes it clear that i don’t want to talk HDKSDJ

7. How do you define a toxic person?

mm. like hannah said, someone who picks fights over nothing, someone who doesn’t root for u, someone who is all about themselves and what’s gonna benefit them without regard for others 

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

many many Many concerts!! i’ve seen 1d just about every time they were in town (missed them when they toured w/ BTR </3), saw harry a few shows, and a bunch of 5sos shows!! i pretty much go to any concert ppl ask me to go to just bc i love the vibe

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

i do!! but i don’t think there’s one set way to be a sign though, if that makes sense? i think there’s qualities that each sign has but for the most part everyone kind of shows those characteristics differently. 

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i’d keep my hearing!! i love music too much! and i also love listening to people talk so yeah i wouldn’t wanna lose those

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

mr harry styles <3

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

honestly idk what i’d say to harry. like i’d want to just talk about how much i love him and whatever and thank him for shit he didn’t even know he did lmao but i know he’d be like please. anything else we can talk about anytHING ELSE so. maybe i’d talk to him about concerts and his idols and such

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

tbh just a night in? i’m very much ok with spending the day/night inside and just talking and hanging out instead of going out somewhere that i’d probably be uncomfortable at anyway

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

oh man i def need a balance of both

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

so much merch!!!!!!! i pretty much buy a tshirt every time i go to a concert, so i have tons of those! and ofc tons of harry stuff

+ i tag whoever read this far lmao

[stcrr]

elle fanning. cis female. she/her.  ／  lorelei “lorrie” gunther just pulled up blasting which witch by florence + the machine  — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really -reclusive, but that they make up for it by being so +observant. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say chipped glitter nail polish, a silver gilt mirror, losing yourself in the beat of the music. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( ally, 22, est, she/her )

me: i don’t have a type when it comes to muses! also me: unveils this new muse that is also introverted and anxious but this time with more glitter. anyways, meet lorelei, starr to her fans, and lorrie to her friends, an observant girl, gifted mimic, misfit, mirror, and musician. kind of a jem and the holograms/hannah montana/perfect blue hybrid. details under the cut, like for me to hyu to plot !! 

(also her pinterest im really proud of it you guys)

statistics.

full name. lorelei amelia gunther. nicknames. lorrie. aliases. starr. occupation. singer-songwriter. age. twenty-three. date of birth. february 1st, 1997.  nationality. american. ethnicity. white (austrian and irish).  gender | orientation. cis female | queer. hometown. boston, ma. zodiac sign. aquarius sun, scorpio moon, pisces rising career/voice claim. lorde.

height. 5′9 weight. 120lbs build. willowy.  distinguishing features. wide eyes, full lips, constant bags, probably has glitter in her hair.  health. 7/10; has no major illnesses but eats like shit, has a whack sleep schedule, is a dysfunctional adult basically. she’s also big depressed but you know how it be. 

positive traits. ambitious, intuitive, observant, imaginative, independent,  neutral traits. talkative, intense, impressionable,  negative traits. anxious, avoidant, moody, secretive, resentful, aloof, 

likes. the nighttime, storms, baggy clothes, mountains, weed, lsd, books, blanket forts, lying on the floor, singing, cryptids, cemeteries,  dislikes. being herself, deadlines, dolls/puppets, the paparazzi, social media, planning ahead, the outdoors, conflict, the beach, 

history. 

(tw suicide mention, anxiety attack) (tldr at the bottom)

her mother called her lorelei after the sirens of the rhine; she insisted her first cries were the sweetest song. and lorelei continued to have a beautiful voice; she sang more than she spoke. but only at home. 

she never responded to lorelei, though, not really; it felt too grand for her. she was a chicken-legged girl who liked overalls and goosebumps books. she was just lorrie.

she grew up in a lower-middle class region of boston, ma. her father was a salesman, and her mother was a travel agent. 

for a while, at school, she didn’t speak at all. she was diagnosed with selective mutism at age five, and it took until she was thirteen to overcome it completely. 

this was not at all helped by the fact that her parents had a nasty divorce when she was seven years old. her father used her mother’s ten-year-old suicide attempt against her in court to prove she wasn’t stable, and gained full custody of lorelei and her two older brothers. her oldest brother, matthias, sided with their father, but the middle brother, jeremias, sided with their mom, and tried to run away to his mother’s house basically every month. he ran away for good when he was fifteen, living with his girlfriend’s family. 

what helped her overcome this selective mutism, at least at first, was her middle school drama class. at home, lorelei had always been an excellent mimic. she did her favorite impressions for her drama teacher, and she encouraged her to try some monologues and scenes. as she got better at acting, she realized that she didn’t have to be herself; she could be somebody else. and that made talking all the easier. 

by high school, she was no longer selectively mute, but was still anxious and shy. she was, however, a total drama kid, and still loved to act. she could be outrageous, incredible on stage; she wasn’t being herself, after all, so if people were judging her, it was the character they were judging, not her. 

still she was def the kind of girl who had a mental breakdown every four months and dyed/cut her hair/gave herself bangs. she could never quite shake the feeling that she was an outsider looking in, separated, different. 

she still loved music, and as she grew older, she started to write songs. it was her secret dream to be a musician. one of her theater friends talked her into singing one of them when she was sixteen, and then encouraged her to try out for the talent show. she was able to get through the audition, though she was a little nervous, but she knew it would be fine. she was on stage all the time, this would be fine. 

but this time, she had to be herself in front of the entire school, and she froze up, not a sound leaving her lips. she doesn’t remember leaving the stage; only remembers that suddenly, she was in the girls bathroom, sobbing her eyes out. 

her friends comforted her that night, partying in their basement like they always did, but thats when lorrie had an idea. what if she didn’t perform as herself? 

that’s when a starr was born. 

as lorelei dressed herself up in all the holo and glitter she had, she created starr in her head; she was born beloved, charismatic, fearless, this glitz and glamor girl who had it all, but what now? even at the top, she found emptiness. she was a beautiful supernova, so breathtaking you forgot she was really a collapsing star. 

starr was lorrie’s ultimate muse; she wrote song after song for her in the next few months, until, finally, she asked some of her friends to help her record a music video. she didn’t expect this music video to get 60 million views in a matter of weeks. 

royals, of course, blew the fuck up, and she had people calling her house to get her to sign with this record company or that record company, and her eventual producer flew her out to la with her dad. and, of course, the rest is history. (her dad also blew a lot of the money she earned as a minor but she got rid of him and that’s neither here nor there.) 

however, as she got more and more into the la lifestyle, she began to rely more and more on starr as an alter ego. people liked starr, after all, and lorrie didn’t even like herself. she played the part of the dignified, wise, and eccentric former queen during interviews, when recording, at after parties and award shows. 

even her first major relationship she got while acting like starr, someone fearless and fun, basically a manic pixie dream girl. if you’ve ever listened to the album melodrama, then you know how badly that ended. 

that’s around when she realized that starr had taken over her entire life. coming home from a house party absolutely zonked, she looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize herself, didn’t see that nerdy, overall-clad chicken-legged girl from her family pictures. 

she stripped her clothes off, scraped the makeup off her face until her skin was red and dry, dragged a brush through her hair to get rid of all the product, and pulled on a hoodie and leggings she had brought with her to la a year ago. she wrote the first draft of all the songs in melodrama in the coming hours. 

however, she still wrote from starr’s perspective, knew she’d perform it as starr. it may be far more personal, but lorrie wasn’t ready to come out just yet. in fact, she’s kind of been hiding the last year or so, a full-on depression mess. 

tl;dr lower middle class nerdy girl from boston overcomes crippling social anxiety through acting, finesses this into an alter ego to be a musician, hits it big, loses herself in the alter ego, has a disastrous relationship, and tries to become herself again. 

present.

first of all, her real name is Known to the public, but not her “brand” outside of starr. it’s proven to be a boon as of late; she’s known for basically being a walking sailor moon cosplayer, not a skinny woman in baggy jeans and a big black hoodie.

since she’s trying to work on herself, she’s kind of in a creative slump. like, she still has more than enough royalties off her music to keep her going, but her agent and producer are both pushing her to clean up some of her songs and record them for a new album. she can still write as starr, but it feels... different, now. melodrama was far more personal than pure heroine, and she wants to continue to grow; writing as starr feels like reverting back to her sixteen year old self. but she’s too scared to write as herself So....

at events though she’s still in the gauze and stars people expect from starr. 

trying to reach out to her mom and brother jer again. not her dad, fuck her dad. 

loves true crime, the supernatural, and conspiracy thought. is probably watching a true crime doc rn. 

she’s just starting to leave her house for the first time in like... a year? like she’s only started to get out again in the last few months.

as for drugs, she def drinks, but she’s more likely to smoke weed. also, she’s a big fan of lsd, but holds herself off to only tripping every few months.

is considering moving to the woods and being the lonely crone everyone whispers about. or maybe switching to voice acting. 

she fuckin hates dolls. literally her worst nightmare is being trapped in some collectors’ doll rooms.  

wanted connections. 

melodrama ex (0/1) - the ex she wrote her breakup album about. can be any gender. i literally want this connection so bad kfdskjkadsfds

best friend (0/1) - someone who was with her throughout her... Transformation

squad (0/3) - bc who doesn't love a squad. this is the vibe i’m going for (sound warning)

icon (1/1) - someone lorrie looks up to and like... majorly doesn't wanna disappoint. - filled by kami!!!

musician buddies (0/?) - they bounce lyrics off of each other, you know how it is.

rival pop star (0/1) - idk i just think it would be Neat. maybe even with a plot that they had a major falling out and now they have to pretend to get along.

hookups (0/?) - or other messy shit

texting crush (0/1) - really weird concept but like... i imagine lorrie would have the number or snap or insta or whatever of this muse and they get talking after melodrama and she just... lays it all out. they don't really talk in person, but she feels really close to them and definitely develops a crush

weed buddy (0/1) - they come to her house and smoke and complain its great

friend turned enemy (0/1) - maybe someone who adored starr but doesn't like who she is now?????? idk idk

enemy turned friend (0/1) - maybe someone who thought starr was fake af but then meets lorrie being Herself and is just like "oh you're a Human" idk idk

bonus.

as a thank you for making it to the end of this fucking enormous intro, please take a moment to enjoy these tik toks reflective of lorrie’s personality (they’re also???? great on their own) 

lorrie talking/singing to herself alone in her house 

honestly she has tinkerbell vibes

drunk mouths speak sober thoughts

and thats on mental illness

[fantroll-purgatory]

Ooookay

Howdy dude! Hope you are having a better day than mine. Anyways, I recently went about making a trollsona, but I don’t have all the details filled in. I’m hoping you could help me with that. Note, there is a lot of lore, very extensive lore that goes on in my story, specifically around my character’s heritage, so I’ll try to keep this as short as possible for you. Thanks again for your time! (*Rubs hands together* Muahahahahahahahahaha…. Lore…..) (Okay more importantly this will be my first Trollsona review! I’m a bit anxious about touching characters based on like… real people because there’s a lot of potential for hurt feelings but! Let’s get into it~) -SA

World: Alternia (At least in the beginning? Gets lost in space at some point)

Name: Harley (Dusk) Halvenson. Goes by both names at different intervals of his life, or even depending on how he’s feeling that day. Harley comes from mostly my own choice, kind of coming with this idea that his name doesn’t sound like a normal troll name? Halvenson comes from like I said, years worth of backstory that gets factored into my trolls story. He has a heritage, and he’s not quite sure about all the details.

If you wanted to go with ‘not sounding like a normal troll name’, that’d lean more towards Lime Troll territory than your boy here. You should probably integrate it into his backstory more. How did he get this name and why did he get it? He’s isolated from troll society for the mostpart, so there’s lot of opportunity for things like him not even HAVING a name and picking one for himself and stuff like that. 

Age: 8 sweeps (about 17.3 human years)

Theme/Story: Dusk grew up in a large house, mostly by his own except for the watchful eye of his lusis, who ushered him to and fro, keeping him locked inside, only allowing him to use the computer under a username, which is where Dusk comes from. He meets his friends in an anonymous chatroom, and slowly begins to make friends. Years of being sort of caged in, plus his stubborn purple blooded self can be very difficult to deal with, convince, etc, but he can be quite funny, and quickly grows to care deeply for his friends, wanting so badly to tell them about his life, but knowing of that many purple bloods slowly fall insane, and is afraid to hurt his friends and truly open himself to them. Then one day, his lusus vanishes, and there seems to be strange activity outside his home, so arms himself, and ventures out into the real world, sparking the adventure of a lifetime. Oh jeez, I was kinda reading through some of the stuff I wrote for Harley, and I realized I missed a few things. For one, I kinda wanted to go with a goth look for him? Which is why he kinda has the lipstick, longer eyelashes, not as colorful design, etc. but that’s all superficial, I also forgot the mention that he has a fascination with magic and the unknown, which is why he took to learning chucklevoodoo. All of that factors into where his handle comes from. i hope this helps.

Goals: 1) To find out what happened to his lusus/what was going on outside, and 2) to find his friends/make sure they are okay.

(My goals for this review are going to be preserving your vision, as opposed to changing things to fit what’s here. I’m sure the extensive #Lore will appreciate not being upended too much.)

Strife: Umbrellakind (later this is destroyed in a duel, replaces is with a more clown themed weapon, as his sanity then begins to degrade)

*As he is consumed by his blood impulses. Purpleblood murderviolence has more to do with Being A Purpleblood and like, not having self control, not “sanity”. “Insane” =/= violent. 

Modus: Dusk is an artist, so probably a drawing modus? I think jade had one of those…)

Blood: Purple Blooded

Symbol: Doesn’t really have one? Suggestions are always welcome

(Canon EZ symbol is…)

( CAPRIGO, SIGN OF THE LACUNA) (A lacuna, for reference, is an unfilled space or gap. Such as in a book, in a bone, or, in your character’s case, history.)

If he was separated from trolls, though, you could give him something totally different. How external to troll society is he? If he is more intertwined with human Raising then you might even be justified giving him a kid symbol.  

Handle: unendingCryptozoology

Quirk: Not sure, suggestions here would be cool?

(Maybe he has a bad habit of SHOUTING HIS PROFOUND THOUGHTS! out into the void when he talks to people. Classic nutty professor/mad scientist vibes.)

Special Abilities: Chucklevoodoo magic, can easily visualize and meticulously plan out his drawings in his head?

Lusus: I was thinking a cat Lusus, as cats are cool, and I like them? Idk lol

(Purples have weirdly half-aquatic lusii that they often rarely interact with. What about… a shark-cat. All the playful aloofness of the feline with the predatory bite of the shark?)

Interests: Primarily drawing, likes taking on all types of drawing. Also enjoys playing bass guitar? I thought this might be an interesting point, as he’s conflicted with both time and space? (I don’t know if you were looking at Jade for this, but a Bass playing Space Player is quite literally Jade’s thing. I’m curious where the Handle comes from with this interest list? Is he into cryptids or not? Which is it?) (It may be entirely design based, but I took one look at this troll and went: HP Lovecraft? Is that you? He looks just like a Lovecraft protag who goes and finds out he’s actually part fishman. I think if you’re gonna have him be into cryptids and his plot is partially about genetics, ancestry, and identity (and then madness) you’ve got a pretty classic Lovecraft plot here.)

Could I also suggest calligraphy because of my #6 joke up there. 

Appearance:

Personality: Described as a bit “eccentric”, Dusk is constantly full of ideas, and likes to experiment, draw, and build, but is frustrated when his creations don’t work, or look right, being a pretty big perfectionist, and often is his own worst critic. Often gets stuck in his own way, as he doesn’t see where his inventions, his art, or even the way he says things, were wrong. Nonetheless, he tries to rectify his mistakes, and cares deeply about his friends, always a listener for when they are down. Despite this, he often doesn’t tell his friends what is going on with him, and can be extremely problematic. A loyal and devoted friend, and a little bit insecure, Dusk is a person with goals, and isn’t afraid to reach them.

(This is a pretty classic space player. Space players are the creators and innovators of the Aspects, and even if he’s stifling himself, that Space potential is still lurking, pushing itself out.)

Lunar Sway: Prospit

Title: X of Space? I was thinking heir, help here would be appreciated. (I think you’ve got the makings of either a Space player or it’s dark mirror, Void. He’s a maker and creator, even if it’s negative, but he also has an interest in the dark and the unknown, which is the classic call of the Void.) (Class-wise, if you want some good character development out of him, I’d lean further towards Active than Passive. My initial thought, believe it or not, is Maid.) (He’s got the classic Maid character arc, with the passive beginning, the mounting frustration/lack of self analysis, and culminating in a mad freakout that you’ve already written in.)

Land: I was thinking land of Mirrors and Shadows. Mirrors representing his introspect at his flaws and his own perfectionism, and shadows representing the fears of his oncoming insanity.

If he’s a space player, you’re gonna need some Frogs in there. Land of Mirrors and Frogs probably works just as well.

Design party: 

Not much changed here! Eyes went back to the traditional yellow, because I wasn’t sure why the purple. The mouth was too obviously Vriska’s, so I changed it up a bit. Black Outlines traditionally read human so I changed it to a light grey. Alternian Goth is red, not black, so I gave him some red striped pants. That’s all I’d really change!

Thanks for your time! Any constructive feedback is great. There are some things that won’t change, but it’s always great to have another pair of eyes of the situation. Again, thank you! (Hopefully this helps, then! -SA)

[bibbleboo]

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo, 

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

[wasabi-duck]

bad boy jungkook

wow i can't believe i haven't done this au before

actually i can because i never do anything right

while reading this please listen to bad boy by cascada thank you

okay so jungkook isn't your usual bad boy stereotype

mostly because he's still pretty young

like most people think bad boys and they think motorcycle gangs

jungkook hasn't gotten his license yet

BUT he does have a keychain with skull (persona 5 skull uhhh) keychain and he thinks it makes him look cool

nah jungkook hangs with kids his age or a little older than him and they're known around town as being a group of wild ruffians

like picture this

jungkook had snake bites?? and an eyebrow piercing

his gauges are always in and he numerous other piercings in his ears including a helix

although young, he still has a few tattoos, to include a set of coordinates on his upper arm area (right below his elbow on the inside of his arm)

and then a butterfly behind his left ear

he keeps his hair black and parts it down the middle slightly (so imagine war of hormone hair my dudes)

he's always wearing his black ripped skinnies and if he's not it's because he's wearing boxers to bed

i looked up bad boys online and it's a bunch of generic white men who aren't even attractive so like that's not helping

jungkook wears a lot of band shirts and they're always a little too small so they can show off his muscles

sometimes he wears one of those basic leather jackets but not really because the one he wears is yoongi’s and it's way too small for him

he does have a bomber jacket, a black one, that he wears quite often though

his go to shoes are doc martens, the shiny black ones, or the matte maroon ones and he never changes that ever

rumor has it that he also carries one of those baseball bats around too and people say it's to break in windows and other juvenile delinquent activities

you've never met him yet though, despite being somewhat close in age

tbh you wonder if he's actually real because people do a whole lot of talking about him but is there proof??

you think not

he's probably like the town cryptid

which means that people wanna be him, find him, or-

anyway

you're at work one day when you first see him

you don't actually know it's him though

it's super late at night, as in like ten minutes to closing so you're not really expecting any customers

this kid comes in though, ripped as hell and you can't help but stare

because this kid has to be like twenty why is he in toys r us??

is he an uncle? a cousin? a dad? a child at heart?!

you don't know, and you find the whole situation fascinating, especially consider the piercings in his face and the chains hanging off his belt loop

but alas, you're only a cashier so you can't exactly pay attention to him when he wanders off into the numerous aisles

you almost wanna go up and tell him that toys r us is bankrupt and that he could probably get a better deal elsewhere like idk amazon

but you can't leave so you wait

it only has to be ten minutes and he comes back towards the front, holding this giant toon link doll in his arms

the thing has to be over a foot tall

this boy is just hugging it to his chest and he's smiling to himself and he's so cute?? he looks like an overgrown bunny??

you pray to god he comes to your register and guess what

he does

who saw that coming

as he approaches the register, he looks almost a little nervous ?

he doesn't make eye contact with you, and when you give your mandatory “hi, did you find everything you needed today?” he just give a curt nod

you shrug it off though because he's just a stranger that you'll probably never ever interact with again

but then he blurts out “you're not gonna tell anyone right?”

“i'm gonna do what now”

“it'll ruin my image”

“what image.”

his brows furrow

“am i supposed to know you”

jungkook doesn't know whether to be amused or somewhat offended

“you're kidding me right?” he rests his elbow on the counter right near the credit card swiper

you roll your eyes “uh no? i don't know who you are.”

jungkook leans in closer now, a smirk tugging at his lips

he's probably like five inches from your face now

“are you positive?”

you two are just staring at each other and it's so intense like he won't look away but it's almost like a challenge so you can't be the first to look away either and it's been like five seconds now

but then your manager comes over the loud speaker intercom thing?? “attention we will be closing in five minutes, again, please note we will be closing in five minutes”

you and jungkook both glance up at the ceiling, and then when you look down again, you find he's no longer staring at you

you're kind of disappointed and that freaks you out

you put his plushie into a bag, and hand it over to him “have a nice night.”

“wait-” he frowns. “you don't know who i am yet.”

“i don't think i will.” you giggle

jungkook blushes faintly at the sound of your laugh

“i'll come back in a week to buy happiness…” he grabs the bag, beginning to walk out the door. “tell me if you know then, okay?”

and with that, he's out the door

you blink, unsure of what to think at all

the next day, you describe the situation to one of the other cashiers

“wait wait wait-” he shakes his head. “did he have like… piercings under his lips and some tattoos?? probably had like… a simple plan shirt on?”

“actually it was linkin park but that sounds right.”

the other cashier just stares and you think maybe he's dying or something because he's not moving or speaking??

“that's jungkook.” he says slowly. his voice gets a louder, more excited. “oh my god you actually met jeon jungkook, oh my god-”

“wait you mean cryptid boy?!”

“uh i think?? he's just i dunno… the hottest guy on the face of this planet, how are you so lucky?!”

you shrug but you're blushing hard because he's right…

jungkook is seriously the most handsome person you've ever seen in your entire life and you hate to admit it but you can't stop thinking about him…

you wonder if he's really gonna come back just to see you

but you see him again before that

it's late at night again

not super late, probably eight thirty

you're walking home from work

your boss let you go home early because toys r us and their bankrupt asses don't wanna pay their workers for a full shift

you're walking home okay and you have a nice hot chocolate in your hands and it's cold and dark outside

you're almost home, just in the neighborhoods in your development

and you hear someone? someone familiar?

you stop, then stare because standing there, in front of someone's townhouse, halfway up a tree, is jungkook

he's wearing a black beanie this time and it's so nice on him

you might just die

but he also might die because he looks like he could possibly fall out of the tree

“hey jungkook, you should get down.” you call out. “you might fall and hurt yourself,”

jungkook turns around, obviously confused

he sees you and he waves, but then loses his balance and nearly falls down the trunk

you race over

“what are you doing?! is this even your house?! you're going to hurt yourself!!” you scold him

“i'm uh… doing stuff in this tree?”

“like what?”

“saving yoongi’s cat because yoongi is scared to climb the tree because one time jin fell out of one and broke his arm and now yoongi is scared but his cat is stuck and-”

“aren't you supposed to be a bad boy?” you shove your hands into your pockets. “do bad boys save cats and buy plushies?”

“okay first of all, rude, second of all, i am a bad boy and i do bad boy things, third of all… when'd you find out?”

“one of the guys at work gushed about you the next morning.”

“well i am pretty good-looking…”

you laugh and roll your eyes

jungkook sticks his tongue out at you

but then you’re both cut off by an annoyed meow, and jungkook turns just a little bit to show you a super super chubby scottish fold in his arms

slowly, he climbs down

“got ‘em.”

you coo, and run over to rub the top of the cat’s head

it purrs immediately and jungkook pouts because in his rescue attempt, the little demon scratched his face

and you notice that soon

“oh my god jungkook, you’re bleeding!!”

“it’s nothing.”

“it could get seriously infected!”

“bad boys don’t get infections”

you roll your eyes and pull a tissue from your drawstring work bag, then dab the wound gingerly

when you’re done with that, you grab a bandaid from the bag and press it to the cut

“you better get this checked out tomorrow,” you warn. “or it might get seriously infected.”

“if you kiss it better, i wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

“oh my god.”

but jungkook laughs, but then he asks your name, because you know him but he doesn’t know you, and that isn’t fair

and after you two bring the cat back to yoongi (who just looks between the two of you with a confused furrow of the brows)

jungkook offers to walk home with you

“should i let such a notorious bad boy know where i live?” you tease

“um… yes so i can come and throw rocks at your window and take you out to see the city at night sooner or later.” he answers quite bluntly and now you’re blushing heavily

“well okay then…”

it’s like nine at this point and it’s cold, and you shiver a bit and jungkook isn’t having it

he’s wearing the bomber that day, and without saying a word, he slips it off and drapes it over your shoulders

you blink, then stop in your tracks, looking up at him

he shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets, avoiding eye-contact

he walks you home, and you two talk, a lot, about anything and everything that crosses your minds

and when you make it up to your front step, you’re reluctant to head inside

jungkook seems unwilling to go too, because he just stands there, with you on the porch

“hey… i’m off tomorrow, just drop by then.” you say slowly. “anytime.”

jungkook smiles brightly “cool, i will”

he turns on his heel, and you pull your keys from your bag, the both of you going your separate ways

you head inside, lock the door behind you, then head upstairs to your room

you sigh, sitting on your bed, thinking of how the night played out, and kind of wishing it hadn’t ended so soon

but then

there’s this faint knocking

at first you wonder if you’re hearing things, but then it starts happening more often, and there’s definitely something going on

you rush over to your window and lift the shades

to see jungkook there, throwing rocks at your window

you stare down at him, and then yank open the window “what are you doing!?”

“taking you out for the city night life tour duh.”

you put your hand over your mouth to hide your growing smile

you hurriedly race back downstairs, then lock the door as soon as you’re outside

jungkook smirks “someone was eager”

but he takes your hand (and you think it fits just perfect in his), and he starts talking about all the places he’s gonna have to show you, like the skate park with all of his really cute graffiti, and then seokjin’s restaurant which is open late, and then down to the park so he can show you where he accidentally broke some historic tree branch off from trying to swing on it--

and at every stop, he makes sure to take pictures of the two of you, for the memories

and then he asks for your number, so he can send them all to you…

and maybe just maybe he takes you this bridge overlooking a small pond in the park and the moon is reflecting on the water, and he loves it because it’s the perfect venue to kiss your pretty lips-

the end :’)

[ghosty-schnibibit]

first taz liveblog of 2019! woohoo! ^u^

i’ve missed taz so much omg, i’m very hyped for this lunar interlude. also i'm doing this liveblog without the use of my mouse because windows ten hates me and keeps doing this to me after system updates, so if any of the formatting is wonky that’s why :///

god i nearly forgot how much shit went down in the last arc, god i've gotta relisten to it at some point

ron "the white" tattersalad

that's so good omg

it's still so weird that they're still calling it lunar interlude since there's no moonbase, idk why but it feels off to me

that means the next hunt could potentially be near valentines... give me the wlw content griffin, blease

aww yikes, nearly forgot about that, poor old car :(

whistles the autoguy

duck's lies just have the power to grant life lol

clint ilu omg

"that's a pretty wack way to meet somebody" god bless you griffin

ned you're a worse liar than duck

it's jesus's car

is ned going to get a minivan???

griffin i know nothing about cars why must you do this to me

transformers: cryptids in disguise

WHAT THE FUCK NED

crepes by monica

clint's stealing justin's naming random kepler citizens steeze lol

god i love these boys

oh fuck that is so good

do you mean the pine guard clint?

that sounds sick as fuck

oooooh good move, that's good

termineder

wouldn't that counteract the surveillance though?

"his name's plural, right?" idk griffin, what's in your heart

“enchilada adventures” loving this

COMMIT GRIFFIN, COMMIT TO YOUR NEED FOR BRITISH MEN TO MURDER YOUR DAD

aww :(

griffin you slid from the kravitz voice into the klaarg voice, why

yes, describe how hot he is clint, 

YES, I LOVE THE ACCENT, BRING IT BACK

jesus ned, jump right into it there, yikesa mikesa

"life has a funny way, as alanis would say" i love boyd already

who??? there are so many npcs in this game, i need a flowchart

... griffin is that sloane and hurley’s tree

that's a word for it lmao

OH MY GOD ITS MAMA, OH FUCKING SHIT

whoop, on to aubrey

i'm trying to remember what janelle looks like and i keep picturing the goat soothsayer from kung fu panda 2, idk why

oh dang, ned didn't have to roll at any point during his scene :0

aubrey is so sweet, i love her so much

oh no... oh no, this is going to make me cry i can already tell

"i'm fine with that" travis please, give me the girlfriends

aubrey my baby i love you whaaat

this is going a hell of a lot better than i thought it would

oh no, vincent's going to be upset :(

griffin how much of this season is based off atlantis: the lost empire, that was my favorite movie growing up and this is so similar

aubrey my precious baby

... who is the entity then?

"pine guard chronicler" wait, thacker???

well that's... not that reassuring

is aubrey the entity????? holy shit holy shit holy shit

more confirmation that aubrey's pendant is part of the crystal... that makes me wonder if the crystal barclay had in the first arc and the one indrid has are reclaimed pieces of it

jesus fuck this is extremely dark 0_0

okay wait one fucking minute... vincent was extremely adamant that aubrey not touch the crystal when the guard first came to sylvain, did he know something like this would happen? i have so many questions

"this is not your world to save" holy fuck i'm gonna cry

yeeee! can't wait to see my magic boy in graphic novel format!!! :D

the spooky violins are back

does this mean leo was the guitar dude? oh snap :0

duck what the hell

justin this is so good, bless you for this

this is so very good holy hell, god this is some good worldbuilding omg

GRIFFIN YOU DO NOT GET TO USE THE PHRASE "SHE'S JUST GONE" WHILE USING SUCH A BARRY-ADJACENT VOICE, I JUST BROKE OUT IN A COLD SWEAT WAITING FOR JUSTIN TO SAY "WHO" 

i cannot wait to see this drawn omg

oh ewww, duck why :(

wait so is duck completely powerless now? is he not the chosen anymore??? holy shit how is this going to affect his class typing?????

if i were duck i'd be reassured knowing i wasn’t the only one tbh

holy fuck this is terrifying

good damn i love duck

holy fuck leo!!!

aww duck baby :(((

oh jeez, that's not great

"okay, we're fucked" aww, have faith in our boy leo :(

oh snap, this is amazing omg

... so duck is princess peach now basically

duck the helper boy! :D

he is going to get so much experience omg

oh my god what

this is so weird omg

... oh fuck, duck no longer has chosen resurrection plot armor, oh i'm so worried for my boy 

yay, the heathcliff music!

awwww :3

travis is consistent at least lmao

WHAT, WHY

oh sweet :0

damn that's a good idea considering how fucked up ned got last arc

oh shit, that's cool as hell

oops lmao

duck just needs any help he can get

don’t be mean to heathcliff!!! :(

"at least i can wear that to work" mood

in conclusion: i am extremely worried for my no-longer-chosen son and have a ton of theories about stuff that are pretty dang dark! this is fine :))) 

[vixen-vangogh]

polyvore banned this for some reason (i cannot figure out what i need to censor for it to be posted though?? i tried even the most conservative of censorings)

so here’s what i was posting in the descrip instead

hey everybody i aged ! i am 23 years old by the standards of the gregorian calendar. differs with other calendars and planets but idrk the exchange rate of time too well

-

i talked to one of my other roommates about talking to the roommate who has been really flip floppy and ignorant about whether she's actually moving out or not

and idk i'm just really relieved that those of us staying are on the same page

like that one roommate who we're asking to leave yelled at me some really ableist stuff because she had some issues with the temperature being like a couple degrees off from room temperature (as in, like 25 degrees celsius was what it was set to - altho not what it actually was) and she had her upstairs window open in -40 degrees with the wind chill and it made our entire home freezing because i guess? for some reason ?? she needs the temperature to be like 0 degrees?? or something???

my body doesn't thermoregulate very well because i have POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) and generally deal w adrenal fatigue because of anxiety and panic and all that other stuff with trauma. the other roommates were also cold though and were trying to blow warm air into their hands etc and we have our windows covered in plastic wrap because windows don't provide enough insulation.

and then when i told her the only reason the heat is so high is because she has her window open and she lied and said it wasn't but after that 'conversation' (she blocked me on fb after yelling so like, it's not like much of that was actually double sided or civil) the temperature got way warmer thru the day almost like she shut her window when she got caught

[hand on chin, thinking emoji]

but anyway she's 27 and the rest of us are 19, 22 and 23 and she is acting like she's 12

i just want her to tell me concretely when she is moving out so i can make accommodations and stop having other people go around just because she literally blocked me on facebook making it impossible for us to communicate

(i don't have a phone contract and haven't in about 2 years because it's just.... a lot of money and organization and planning and i cannot guarantee my money any given day if it were to automatically come out of my account. that and i can't deal with talking on the phone because of anxiety and stuff.)

(it occurred to me somewhat recently though that you can use TTY on my particular device though so I might look into seeing if there's some way to get a pay as you go thing?)

--

i've been trying to rewire my mind whenever bad memories surface that I know i am to blame for how things happened.

from "i hate myself"

to

"i forgive myself" "i feel remorse about this" "i have grown" "i was a child" (and this includes times when i was a child in the sense that i was legally an adult but still a child in terms of my own personal growth and sense of self) "i accept that this happened." "feeling so guilty this way now will not make me a better person. i am already a better person now."

etc

i've tried a lot of different tactics to dealing with these things over the years and every now and again something i try will work or help and that is one of those things. :)

obviously i'm not ~cured~ but it's !! not the point? i'm not ever going to be cured because i have always been like this to a degree, and it would appear it's hereditary to some degree. (which i wouldn't have known about but - i was talking to my aunt the other day and we're actually on the same medications ... which is ?? pretty interesting how these things work out.) (i've never met anyone who was on the exact same meds as me, just folks who had the same meds one at a time or at some point now or in the past. just people who i could talk to about it and not necessarily people who are on the same meds as me.)

-

by talking to my aunt i don't mean to imply that i've got family really in my life still - but two of my paternal aunts and one of my cousins are on my facebook because i do trust them to a degree and they aren't exactly close with my dad anyway. (my dad sucks - i've been taken to calling him Cryptid Dad because it's a fun joke about how he presumably exists but I haven't seen him in years and only get an email a few times a year)

--

i've also gotten ridiculously into genealogy. like so hardcore into genealogy. it's extremely interesting and i have literally traced so many of my ancestors back as far as the H/uns of the Steppe and am absolutely baffled about that. granted, it wasn't necessarily my own research that put that together myself, but because at some point in the middle ages there was royalty in my lineage and if there's any famous families that have that so researched, it's royal families.

so like once i made that connection it was smooth sailing.

i've also found a bunch of Huguenot ancestors, which is pretty neat because honestly? i'd never heard of the Huguenots at all before wikitree was like "[ancestor name] was a Huguenot"

which is neat to think about and research

i'm also related to a captain john wood who was in the usa continental army during the revolutionary war and then after being held in a quebec d/ungeon for 4 years, decided he wanted to be canadian instead

his descendants got land from both sides. because apparently he helped both sides significantly enough for that.

i also feel like it's very important to know and learn about the very specific land thefts my ancestors took part in so that i can better name and advocate for the specific indigenous peoples today working hard to reclaim that land.

everyone always pulls the whole "but those were my ancestors not me" stuff but like??

you know our ancestors did it because they thought this was what we would have wanted right? because they thought some regressive stuff about "the future of the white rac/e" etc

and it worked because we're like what we are today.

don't you think we should like, idk, overthrow all of that? don't you think there's maybe more to renouncing your ancestors ? like maybe renouncing all the horrific things they did (consciously or unaware) that made it so ultimately there still exists extreme deprivation today that benefits us very directly

idk yeah

also genetics are very wild because i did take one of those ancestry dna tests over a year ago and uploading it to GEDmatch said there was Steppe DNA markers in there which. is ???? something I thought was a fluke or mistake until I got to literally the pre 1000s CE and found that there the H/uns were.

same for the Netherlands and areas around that because I guess a bunch of my ancestors were the original white pe/ople to come to NY

and Anatolia - that was because the H/uns too I think but I'm still not totally clear.

anyway it's some really interesting stuff and everytime I discover something I am left with dozens of new questions.

i'm also learning about isotope analyses and what that's about because i guess based on the atoms and stuff people have in their bodies you can tell where they've been, where they grew up, if they've migrated a lot recently, etc.

idk everything is ! way more interesting than i thought it was in high school.

i wish i had better science teachers back in the day and also like, that someone thought 'hey that kid is taking an hour longer than everyone else to complete their work.... ever think.... maybe there's a learning disability at work here?'

but because i was scraping up alright grades and wasn't much of a rebel as a kiddo they just shrugged it off. i think also, from what i understand, teachers and so on like to sort kids into categories where they say that ADHD and ADD and autis/m etc shows up differently in different genders (rather than just differently in different people, like would make more sense) and thus certain kids get diagnosed and others don't and it has some gender biases where people end up saying "boys are more likely to have ADHD" and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

like no, that's not true. that's not how the human brain works. you just think this way so you ignore certain kids and certain symptoms and it's just going to continue swaying the way you say because your initial base research was ignorant and biased

--

i feel really proud of myself for knowing the things i know despite being a dropout and not completing more than like, a year and a half of university and a year of college

i hate feeling this way but it's tied in way too much to my ego.

i need to let this go and acknowledge that i am incredibly intelligent and it's just that i transcend and cannot be measured or contained within the standards that were outlined this way.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Dadlantis/Knitwits

well, i hope these are the right reviews for last night’s episodes. TVGuide said it should be Dimmsdale’s Got Talent (which belongs with Knitwits), but butch said it was Dadlantis and he was right the last time concerning Crockin the House so...

Dadlantis:

Mermaid!Timmy on the titlecard, like whaaaaat???? What’s with the sudden influx of putting Timmy into “girl attire”?? Nothing wrong with it, but it just seems so far left field and unprompted. Yeah we had it happen once or twice in the past as a gag, but how many episodes has it happened in now in this one season alone?? (no seriously, since this is an episode I found leaked, I don’t know which episodes have aired before this one has, so my numbers are skewed). It just seems weird to suddenly be a thing…

 Ok I loved how they brought back the old gaming music…until I saw the game. I know it’s probably meant as a Mario spoof in part, but still…not even 5 seconds into the episode and toilet humor…uhg! The music had me so pumped, then you ruined it.

 I actually love the plot setup. Mundane problem: clean up the ocean science project. Chloe deciding to use her magic to make it harder but do better, and Tim going “yeah no, I’m lazy”. It’s great! Also love that Chloe believes in mermaids ^^ (she didn’t believe in aliens so…can’t guarantee she’ll believe in any sort of cryptid)

 The fishbowl=toilet though…yeah…proper fish care is totally important, but another toilet joke so soon…uhg…

 It’s the return of Dad’s bongos! Idk about the “abandoned mine shaft your mother hid them in” was really necessary, but I’ll let it slide for a good call back.  Bongo-quake though…not as good, but I’ll still let it slide, because maybe it’s plot device

 Pointless Crocker, take a shot (thank ra I don’t drink or these episodes would kill me some days…)

 Oh wow, we get some interior looks at the Turner house. That’s really neat! We do rarely see any hallways, and I think we’ve only seen Mom and Dad’s room like twice. We need a good floor plan, just saying

*files away “Bongo-lodesh” for Superverse purposes later…*

 I did like Dad’s whole running away speech. It was very 7 year old, but it was cute and funny. And spare ribs are so totally worth coming back for lol

 And he actually becomes mermaid-nice!! Accidentally called “Tina”, ok…called a knockout ^^;;; … “get out of this bikini top” lol.  But you know, since Chloe wished they were mermaids it totally makes sense, so I like it. Tina Turntrout now has to be a thing.

 Neptuna King of Atlantis??? What happened to Greg?? Is he no longer in charge? Was he not in charge to begin with? Are these a new faction of merfolks because they are red finned, whereas Greg’s people were all green??? I mean Neptuna has the right skintone and hair colors/styles to fit in Wet Willie…and Gary even has Dwight’s hair style…

 Also, bit creepy how everyone keeps saying Tim’s such a pretty mermaid…though I guess he is wearing the seashell bra so he has a bust whereas Chloe’s got a band and it’s flat, so that makes sense ^^; “no dude I’m a dude” yeah…you’re probably going to end up as a seahorse now man ^^;; but then trying to hook up prince lonely Gary with Timmy ^^; wow. I mean I love it, still a tad creepy, but think of all the development this gives the Superverse for undersea lands

 Scalding hot soup, in a bowl, underwater…well I guess we’re using Spongebob logic here

 “We’re about to get a bad grade on our science project AND your dad’s about to be eaten by a clam! I don’t know which is worse!!” Chloe subscribes to the Hermione method of prioritizing lol

 “I could end up the world’s biggest pearl” I feel like that’s the door opening for a SU mashup

 I love how Tim and Chloe were on eth same page about the plan even before saying it. They really are starting to get one another aren’t they.

 Dad’s list of demands is a cliche gag, but we’ll roll with it. As is the ending; of course what caused the problem in the first place is what fixes it, and thus Dad learns nothing from his mistakes because in saving the day he is validated as right and nothing wrong he did before counts anymore

 “You get to marry Gary” lol yeah no *still jots notes about Gary down for Superverse*

 And more pointless Crocker, oh boy…but hey another call back to Dad’s bongo cds

 So this episode was actually very enjoyable! Even though it messes up previous canons (why did no one in Atlantis recognize Cosmo as the great destroyer?? Is this a different Atlantis then?? (I’m voting yes) because it’s established so many times he ruined Atlantis, it just feels wrong not to address that…the plot itself was sort of contrived, but it was fun enough. Also mermaid!Timmy was great.

 I am totally having these red merfolks be a different faction from the green merfolk in Superverse, so be prepared for Dwight to get his “Black Manta” at some point now, and by some point I mean later. be on the lookout

Knitt-Wits:

Ok I admit, after seeing the title for this one I got sort of excited, because I enjoy knitting. The thought of Chloe trying to rope Tim into knitting was me pumped…and then I read the synopsis, and…yeah, not the case. But I’m still looking forward to seeing what does happen at least…

 That is a really nice pillow fort, like for reals. Also got a giggle out of “Sir Sucks-a-lot”

 Heehee Chloe not wanting to be a “damsel in distress” because she’s a “strong and empowered woman of the new millennium”. I like it, it shows character, but like, we have seen her as a damsel in distress a few times, so it shows something she’s wanting to overcome too. But like, I always try to show Chloe as a capable young adult, so it’s nice that the sentiment is shared. And back to Timmy in drag. I am liking the new girly hair though *takes notes* but their matching outfits are cute ^^

 Dad blatantly ignoring/glossing over the “strange talking inanimate objects” yup…

 Bathroom joke…take a shot

 But Chloe sweetie, that 7 degrees of separation was a slight stretch…but I totally relate to that! Thoughts going a mile a minute, so you jump from one thing to the next and it doesn’t seem connected but is. Also, who knew Chloe wanted to sing (karaoke battles with Francis to BrittneyBrittney songs seems far more plausible now)

 And welcome to the plot. Dad can’t spell so they go on a knitting cruise instead of a knight cruise. Contrive plot? Oh yeah. But let’s see how it plays out…

 50 shades pun, omr ^^;;; it’s a good one though, so points

 OH! It’s her one-woman show!! I totally forgot about that from Nuts and Dangerous. Du Chloe wants to be a singer, silly brain

 So now Cosmo and Wanda want to renew their vows just like Mom and Dad. Hm….could this be a call back to the fact that their wedding anniversaries are supposed to be the same day??? Probably not, since that factoid had been retconned once I think, but still

 Random Wandissimo???? O.o when did he start wearing a belt…and also, why are you even here??? I mean, nice to see you because it’s been AGES, but really dude? Why??? Butt joke! But man, has Wandissimo really been reduced to a one-note character…he’s getting into (or even past) stalker-territory like Tootie was, and we all know what happened to her…

 Mr .Bickles???? Wow, we’re just dragging back all the old flamboyant characters aren’t we (so where is my Sanjay??)

 Random Catman???? How many more characters can we cram into this??? I mean, at least Catman makes sense, since he’s the right age for this, and all eth yarn. But holy cameos Catman! And Wandergal and Don return too…huh…GAAAAHHHH!!! THEY CHANGED WANDERGAL’S COLORS!!!!! I know I already freaked about this, but that is a SERIOUS change, not “Veronica’s eyes are pink for 5 frames” change, but she’s like a completely DIFFERENT character with those colors. That’s just WRONG! She looks like the granny version of Goldenlocks now color wise, and that is wrong! I just…UHG! Can’t even stay on model when you created the character not but a handful of episodes earlier. Major point loss here >> (this might have just ruined the whole episode for me)

 Too many plots with separate problems. So yes Tim give us the blanket wish to fix everything…but also probably make it worse…oh no, it actually made it better for once. Nice.

 And Catman marries (not really) Wandergal in the end?? Idk how legally binding that is since he’s a 10-12 year old boy, just saying…

 So over all, this was 110% filler. It started off cute and tolerateable, but had far too many plot threads, too many pointless/random characters, and they colored Wandergal incorrectly.

I feel putting these two episodes together was a very bad choice. Neither of them are super great, and when you put them together, it’s just a big let down. Not that Dimmsdale’s Got Talent balances Knitwits, but Chloe Rules is a pretty good one. but i guess looking at their counter episodes, they went and skipped all the Kevin episodes because Kevin hasn’t been revealed yet. which is so stupid. just give up Kevin already and stop screwing up the airing order.