#idk. soft babies. i love them. i love emma being appreciated. i love emma being respected. i love emma being cared for

[dadsbongos]

late night for a sinner

Movie/Game/Show: The Devil All The Time Dynamic: Arvin Russell/Reader Warnings: religious overtones cuz it’s this movie, described and enacted violence (against teagardin), preston teagardin (and all his sexual assault-y/manipulative bs) Notes: uhm people got married at like 20 in the 50s and i assume arvin is about 20 so no i will not apologize for making you his wife, my country-accent writing is bad(?) idk Summary: Arvin’s a protective man, especially when it comes to those he loves. ~~~

“Somethin’ ‘bout that preacher don’t feel right,” (Y/n) murmured to her husband as they stood outside the doors of the church, “Gives me a shiver right up my spine.”

Arvin nodded along to her words, watching as his grandmother and sister shook hands with Preston Teagardin - fancy name for a guy like him. A guy who gave women chills. He reached into his dress pants pocket and plucked out a cigarette before placing it between his lips, “Watch yourself around him, darlin’.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for Lenora, too,” (Y/n) crossed over the creaky boards of the church's stoop as people began exiting, her hands coming out for the man’s tie, “Did you loosen this durin' the sermon?”

“Too tight,” he let the woman adjust his tie, “You know how I feel ‘bout comin’ to these things.”

“I know, I know - hey, I don’t like comin’ either, but it means a lot to Ms. Emma and Lenora,” pulling back from the tie, (Y/n) placed her hands on Arvin’s shoulders, “‘Sides, someone’s gotta watch for that blasted preacher, and I think we’re the only ones who will.”

Removing the cigarette from between his lips, Arvin leaned over to kiss his wife’s forehead, pulling away to ask, “You take my light outta my pocket when you pressed my pants this morning?”

“Maybe I did,” she shrugged, grinning, “Maybe even I think you shouldn’t be smokin’ outside a church.”

“Maybe,” Arvin nodded, “Maybe.”

Emma and Lenora finally came out of the church and started towards the family’s truck, the two women got into the back with Arvin and (Y/n) getting into the front to finally head home. Lenora leaned forward as her brother started the truck, “You shoulda been in there for the goodbyes.”

“Oh?” turning her head and leaving her cheek pressed to the headrest, (Y/n) quirked a brow at the teenager, “What happened?”

“Reverend Teagardin said he’s interested in meeting you,” Lenora beamed at her sister-in-law.

“Just her?” Arvin pulled out of the church parking lot, “Seatbelt, Lenora.”

“I got it, I got it,” the girl waved off before returning to her previous conversation, “But yeah, just (Y/n). He was talkin’ about putting together a church choir. Thinks (Y/n) would have a pretty voice.”

“She’s got a pretty voice but she ain’t singin’ for no church choir,” Arvin’s brows furrowed, white-knuckling the steering wheel at the mere idea of that damned preacher trying to get close to his wife, “Not in that man’s church choir.”

“Let the girl speak for herself,” Emma cut in, “Thought I raised you better than that.”

Pursing his lips, Arvin turned to (Y/n) for a split second before returning his stare to the road, “Sorry, love.”

“It’s okay, baby,” she looked back to her sister-in-law, “You singin’ in the choir, Lenora?”

“I’d love to try.”

Clenching her jaw, (Y/n) thought over her choices. Leave Lenora to sing in that choir - leave her sweet, naive little sister-in-law in that preacher’s hands for far longer than was typical or wanted… Or, suck it up and sing for the bastard.

“I’ll sing with ya, sweetheart.”

Arvin sighed quietly, glad none of the women in the car heard him over the rumbling of the truck’s old engine. To distract himself, and by proxy the women in the car, he suddenly changed the topic, “This damn old truck. Gonna hafta fix it up or take it in.”

“You’re gonna take it in?” (Y/n) tilted her head.

“Thing’s old; I’ll do as much as I can, darlin', but sometimes there’s only so much I can do. You know that.”

“I’ll need to go with you,” the truck jumbled with the rocky bumps of their home’s pull-in, “Pick up a few things for dinner.”

Lenora felt her heart warm and lips quirk into a smile at her brother and sister-in-law. They weren’t so into the church as her and Grandma, in fact - Lenora’s certain they only played along to please her and Grandma, but watching them was nice. Nothing to play along to, just a simple, pure expression of adoration between the couple. Arvin was never a man known for something as soft and tender as love but (Y/n), since the two were in grade school, was easily able to pull it out of him.

From high school sweethearts into married lovers. It was overjoying to know someone else was looking after Arvin.

“I’ll check up on Mr. Earskell and be right out.”

“No, no, (Y/n),” Emma shook her head, taking the woman’s hand as she was assisted out of the truck, “I’ll handle things. You and Arvin go on and stay out here.”

She didn’t bother fighting against the older woman, she was the matriarch of the family - she was just the rule maker. It was only fair.

“You don’t hafta keep callin’ em Miss and Mister,” Arvin came out and around to the hood of the truck, “They’re part a’ your family now.”

“Feels improper,” (Y/n) rebuffed, standing beside her husband, “I’m just thankful they’re lettin’ me stay here.”

“And why wouldn’t they?” he knew why she felt that way - her own family was insufferable and he could barely stand being around them for a dinner - he couldn’t imagine having to live with them.

“Let’s not open that can of worms today, huh, love?” (Y/n) placed her hands on her hips as she watched her husband look over the truck’s interior and drag over his tools and oil.

“Don’t joke ‘bout that, love,” despite his words, Arvin was smiling slightly, “Poor fishermen work hard to get those worm cans.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” she sarcastically relented, peeking over the man’s shoulder, “Wish I knew anything to help you.”

“I could teach you a thing or two.”

“Maybe not now, baby.”

Which, of course, was code for ‘I’d rather not. Ever.’ but politely.

There was silence between the married couple as Arvin worked until he sighed and planted his hands on each side of the open hood, head hanging low as he murmured, “You’re really goin’ to that choir?”

“We both know I gotta be there for Lenora.”

“I appreciate that, but I’ll still be worried to hell ‘bout you,” he turned to face his wife, restraining himself cupping her cheeks and smearing grime over her, “Both a' you,” then he finally admitted as to why he was so apprehensive, “I’ve been watchin’ him.”

“You what…?!” she whisper-screamed, coming in closer to her husband, “Arvin Eugene Russell, you been what?”

“Watchin’ him,” Arvin almost regrets the admission at the sight of his wife’s shock, “He’s a no-good-sonofabitch, (Y/n). Messin’ around with a young girl behind his wife’s back. She’s good to him, (Y/n), she cooks him dinner and she does her best to keep him happy. He’s no good to her. He’s no good, at all.”

(Y/n)’s brows furrow, “Cheatin’ on his wife?”

“A girl from Lenora’s class. He’s worse than a cheater,” he turned back to the hood of the truck and quickly said, “We’re takin’ it in.”

“Why haven’t you said anything yet?”

“Nobody will ever believe me, (Y/n), you know that. Everybody here loves that damn radio bullshitter.”

Nodding quietly, (Y/n) fisted a hand in her skirt before turning towards the home’s door, “I’ll tell Lenora we’re goin’.”

The topic is ultimately dropped as they leave into town. As they take the truck in for the shop and as they pick out items for dinner that night and even on the walk home. Reverend Preston Teagardin didn’t come up again, neither did his affairs or his disgustingly, sickeningly low age preference for said affairs.

They weren’t the only people in town on watch of their new preacher in town, they were just another young couple walking home.

Even as dinner passed and time for rest came - as they pressed into bed and huddled together in the cold night. Teagardin was temporarily forgotten, pushed to the backs of their minds as they slipped into slumber.

And when Arvin darts up from bed after another nightmare over finding his father’s body that fateful night, (Y/n)’s thoughts are solely on her husband. Bringing him back into the present, where he’s not in the woods finding his father knelt down in front of their makeshift church but instead in bed with his loving wife. With his sister down the hall. His grandmother at the end of the corridor and his great-uncle's own room across from theirs. He’s in a home that isn’t going anywhere - he’s with people who won’t leave him, not any time soon anyway.

It’s not until the next day, after Lenora’s first day back at school for the week had finished and her daily visit to Hellen Hatton-Laferty was over, that Teagardin even peeked back into the couple’s brains.

“If that sonofabitch touches you or Lenora, tell me,” Arvin whispered to his wife, hands holding hers tightly before she went into the church for choir practice, “I’ll make sure ain't got no hands to touch you, or Lenora, or any other unlucky woman.”

“I’ll come right to you, honey,” (Y/n) was quick to confirm for her husband, “Promise.”

“Good,” he cups his wife’s cheeks and pulls her into a tender forehead kiss before going to his sister and giving her a tight hug, “Be the loudest one there, got it?”

Lenora chuckled quietly, patting her brother’s shoulder, “You know I can’t do that.”

“You can.”

Shaking her head, (Y/n) goes up the stairs and pulls one of the double doors open, “You just shouldn’t, ain’t that right, Arvin?”

A teasing shrug and he’s walking off towards the car while Lenora follows her sister-in-law up and into the church.

Teagardin is sitting in one of the pews with his back turned towards the two women.

There’s nobody else in the church despite having been told this was the meeting time. It’s silent. Preston still hasn’t turned to the two.

Lenora is fidgeting beside (Y/n) the longer the man stays quiet. The younger girl nervously bunching the skirt of her dress in her fists. Her brows drawn tight in confusion and lips pressed into a thin line.

(Y/n) steps forward, ignoring the nerves urging her to run and encouraging her knees to buckle underneath the weight of her body, “We’re here, preacher.”

His head lifted, a smile coming over his lips, an unnatural smile - one she’d imagined on the devil when he tricked another soul into his claws. Preston comes to a full stand and approaches the women, “I didn’t expect both of you to come.”

“I wanted to support Lenora.”

“How wonderful.”

~~

“Preacher’s dirty.”

“What?”

(Y/n) sighed, sitting up in bed and looking down at her husband and whispering into the night air, “Teagardin. He’s just as dirty as you said.”

Immediately, Arvin was also sat up, no longer tired and now entirely focused on his wife, “What happened?”

“Tried touchin’ Lenora ‘til I stopped him. Grabbed me. I got us out of there and now Lenora’s tryin' to figure out how to tell Ms. Emma.”

Arvin stood out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants over his boxers, slipping on a shirt and his hat before heading to the bedroom door and slipping out of the room. (Y/n) followed after, eyes wide and brain springing into panic as she watched him tug on his shoes. Hurriedly, the woman put her shoes on as well while Arvin snuck out of the home, her continuing to follow after him.

Once they were in the car, (Y/n) turned to Arvin as he pulled out of the driveway, “What the hell are you doin’? It’s late, you can settle this tomorrow, can't ya?”

“No. It don’t matter if he’s with his wife or at the church, I’m puttin’ that bastard in his place. I hope that woman leaves his ass,” he shook his head, “Rotten fuckin’ bastard.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

The man was silent as he drove towards where he knew the Teagardin residence was. Every few minutes he would take off his cap and run a hand through his matted hair - if he could force himself to do so, he could almost pretend this was a nice drive with his wife. A simple late-night cruise through town with the love of his life, but then he would remember exactly why they were on a late-night cruise. A peek at (Y/n) would remind him, she must be frightened to all hell - it must’ve been awful to be in that church. Be near that rotten man.

And Arvin’s rage was freshly re-lit.

“Is this the right time?” she remembered each time her husband had repeated the phrase from his father, it was usually enough to sway him from acting out at that moment.

“Best time there is. He’s asleep - won’t be expectin’ us.”

(Y/n) settled into her passenger side seat, turning her head to stare out the window, “How’re you gonna get him out?”

Arvin was silent once again, fingers tight against the steering wheel as they pulled up to the bend at the end of the preacher’s street. He got out of the car and stormed towards the Teagardin home with (Y/n) trailing after.

It wasn’t long until Preston came stumbling out of his home with Arvin banging on the front door. Cynthia was out soon after her husband, clinging to the door frame.

“Late night for a sinner, kids,” Preston rubbed at his eyes, “Can this wait ‘til the mornin’?”

“You try touchin’ Lenora?” Arvin was blunt, he didn’t like sugar coating and he didn’t like the people who did it. Turning, he gestured to (Y/n), “Tried touchin’ my (Y/n)?”

Immediately, Preston’s eyes widened, “Now, now, I- I didn’t do nothin’ to those two.”

“Callin’ my wife a liar?”

Cynthia looked between her husband and the younger couple on her lawn, “What’s this about, Preston?”

“You just go inside now, Cynthia!” the preacher called back to his wife, “These two are full of delusions!”

“Arvin, let’s just head home now - you can take care of this tomorrow…”

Shaking his head, Arvin only approached the older man further, “My wife ain’t no liar. And those hands ain’t free of sin.”

“Go inside, Cynthia!” Preston shouted at his wife once again before turning back to the other man, “You won’t say nothing. I will have your lives ruined. Who will the town trust? Me, or two scruffy children who married straight outta high school?” he gives a forced chuckle, shaking his head and pointing at (Y/n) with a shaky hand, “Your wife… she- she… your wife is delusional. She’s crazy.”

Arvin Russell had been fighting nearly his entire life - he learned from his father and he continued on far after his father passed. Preston Teagardin had never been an athletic boy nor had he been confrontational by any means, preferring to hide in the shadows and smile his way out of trouble.

It wasn’t a mystery as to how Arvin managed to land Preston on the hard ground, chest pressing into the dirt and hands tightly wound behind his back in Arvin’s hold.

He didn’t know what he was looking for in the man. He didn’t know what he wanted from the preacher. He couldn’t kill the bastard - he still had a sister and wife to look after when his grandmother and uncle could no longer. Was it admission? Was it a promise to not even look at the women of Knockemstiff? It wasn’t an apology, he knew that - because there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d be giving out forgiveness.

“You take back what you said,” Arvin grunted out, pushing his body harshly into Preston’s back and hoping it’d hurt as much as when boys did it to him on the playground, “You take back what you said about my wife, you hear me?”

“She’s crazy!”

Arvin took a hand into the preacher's hair and smushed his face deep into the dirt, “If I- “ when Teagardin’s whining got too loud, Arvin let his head up before roughly smashing it back into the ground, “Fuckin’ listen when I talk. You listenin’?” he waited for a nod of confirmation before continuing, “If I even hear your name in the same sentence as my wife’s or my sister’s, I’ll bash your fuckin’ brains in, hear me?”

“Arvin!” (Y/n) finally screamed out to her husband, hands landing on one of his arms and pulling, “Arvin, you let him go!”

“He deserves this, (Y/n)!”

“I know, but dammit Arvin, you’re gonna get the sheriff on you, let’s go home!”

Giving one last thunk of Preston’s skull into the ground, Arvin stood and kicked the man’s ribs before nodding at Cynthia with a brief ‘goodnight ma’am’ and returning to the car.

“That was a dumb thing you just did, Arvin Russell,” (Y/n) scolded, rather lightly, as her husband drove.

“I don’t regret a damn thing about it, (Y/n) Russell.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” she reached over and snatched his cap before fixing it over her own head, “I’m proud my husband cares so much.”

“Least I could do for the woman of my dreams.”

[herzlak]

After Life season 3

EPISODE 1

I don't remember anything

I even forgot about penelope wilton being there

rick spoilered: the dog does not die! thanks man, that guy knows what we wanna know

full-time cunt™

wattpad fanfiction be like:

that boy looks like a young mirko schrader

HE DID NOT JUST SMASH THAT GUY'S REAR WINDOW

After Life's music is just too fucking emotional for me

EPISODE 2

I feel like these people never work...? they just sit in that office all day and stare at their screens lol

a celebration of sex? a'ight...

wink wink :D

wank wank :0

Y'ALL SHUT UP ABOUT CORONA VIRUS

she loves his dog and his dog loves her, go get her tony!

she just cut limon. now he's dead. maybe... don't get her tony.

WHAT KINDA CAKE?!?!

no baby mirko, you're appreciated <3

tony and his dog are the cutest shit ever

EPISODE 3

omg did they get david bradley back for it?! that's so sweet, i love his acting :)

i relate to the postman's mood swings a lot

OMG what happened to tony's indian (?) protégé by the way? i loved them together

DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT- oh come oooon tony

EPISODE 4

i love his energy haha

awgh tony's gettin soft again

friends hold hands! gay men hold hands! straight man hold hands!

they're not gay oh say what

a short break and now they're taking a walk in the park?

GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF >>>

GBBO is fucking amazing I love it

I feel like whatsshecalled is an aquarius

"I wanna be a good person, but sometimes I can't be bothered." BIG MOOD

EPISODE 5

Uh yeah I got distracted lmao but Emma met some guy and someone's a loser? Idk who though?

oh the feels

yeah ain't loneliness just the most cruel thing ever

EPISODE 6

ONE MINUTE AND I'M CRYING WHAT THE FUCK

I will follow you into the dark :(

I'M EMOTIONAL OKAY?!

some angels have four legs and bark WHAT THE FUCK STOP

at this point I'm just sobbing uncontrollably-

I guess this series is just the best thing to watch when you're grieving a loved one, totally recommend

I mean I don't, but still - those life lessons you're getting taught here >>>

WHAT-

he did NOT-

rude.

ok someone slap those fuckers in the face

THAT'S SO CUTE AWWW

mmmh yeah if you ever need to have a good cry...

[yelenasdog]

FUCK IT- DEAN THINKING OF EMMA YEARS AFTER SAM KILLS HER BC CANON SUCKS

btw for those of yall who dont remember ms. emma, she was dean’s amazonian daughter LOL

warnings: this is 1.3k words, has many plot inconsistencies ,and is basically an au where the slice girls happened before the whole amy situation. dean is kinda sick and creepy at one point but like bc he wants revenge ig? idk. also ik i have some mutuals who are also just starting spn, so s7 spoilers! LOL enjoy this mess

-

He had shaken his head, laughed, and looked up to the indigo sheet that rested above him, seeing how the stars seemed... dull. It was odd, as most nights, it was one of the few things that Dean Winchester would truly rely on always remaining the same.

For all his years as a hunter, through shitty motels, through demons and monsters and angels and apocalypses. The stars always were there when the sun would fall and the moon would arise, twinkling at him as if to say “we’re still here”. In fact, even before he was a hunter, though that time slot is miniscule as the salt grains he so heavily appreciated (and sometimes grew to loath), he would sit outside on the damp grass with his mother.

He would sit, and he would look up and smile at the dark sky, smiling at what Mary had told him about the stars.

“They’re angels.” She had said, leaning down to talk softly in her baby’s ear, playing with his soft brown locks. “All the people who died and went to Heaven.” She had lied, lied right through her teeth. Not that she knew it, of course. She knew the same was true about demons, so why wouldn’t it ring true with the supposed angels she believed in so fiercely?

But Dean still held that memory with him, even when she was gone, despite knowing it wasn’t truthful.

It was after a Djinn hunt, Dean was fifteen, sixteen in four days, matter of fact. His responsibilities had begun to evolve from watching over Sammy while his father was away (which he now knew he would never really stop doing), to assisting on hunts, learning from the elder Winchester for when he inevitably would have to take over the “family business”.

“Right, so a Djinn will poison their victim, putting them in a comatose state- Hey, are you listening to me at all? Did you hear a word I just said?” John had shouted, his son not even flinching as he would when he would be in the same position just a few years prior.

“When in the comatose state, the Djinn puts them in their dream life while they feed on the person, which is where the genie lore came from.” He recited, never looking down from where his head was angled upwards, enthralled by the stars. All the talk of dreams, wishes, he couldn’t help but think what life would be like if he was living his. Maybe get to be on the football team, have his own home, his own room, even.

Having his mom. Not having extensive knowledge on the fact that there really was a reason to be afraid of the dark.

As he got older, his idea of a “dream life” had changed. In a flurry, it seemed like it had somehow changed from having a normal high school experience and his mom being alive (even though that part never changed, just faded towards the back of his mind), to pushing that away and gravitating towards drinking, drugs, and girls. All only to come back to wanting a domestic life, one that he had with Lisa and Ben. He wanted that, badly, and when it was ripped away, he felt like a piece of his heart had been ripped out, too.

So he didn’t talk about it. He left, it hurt, and he didn’t talk about it, because that’s just what Dean Winchester did. He got snappy, moody, and slipped back into the habits and youthful rush of his years prior, much to Sam’s disappointment. Back to the girls, back to the drinking, all of it.

Nothing had stood out to him about the night he’d had with Emma’s mom. She was normal, the drinks were normal, all of it. It was routine, almost.

What was not routine, was having to return the next day, and finding a baby when there was not one there before. Even more out of the norm, was when the baby began to speak as if it were 8 years old. And so as him and Sam began to put together the pieces like some sort of fucked up jigsaw puzzle, it began to dawn on him; He could try again.

Sure, his daughter was a crazy Amazonion, and sure, it wouldn’t be ideal with being on the road and all, but family was family, right? But he knew it wouldn’t be easy, he was prepared to fight the internal battle he knew he would be cursed with. But she was innocent, she hadn’t killed anyone yet.

He pondered it, as he stood, walking over to the fridge. He knew this was an act, he knew that there was barley any hesitance in her heart as she stood, preparing to slain her father. Dean knew this, yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill her, take the easy shot. She was human, and she was his daughter.

Sam, on the other hand, showed no such mercy.

And Dean was grateful to his brother for saving his life, for killing the monster that he didn’t have the guts to gank. They’d killed blood before, no problem. Samuel was a problem, a threat, so he had to go. And Dean supposed that Emma shouldn’t have been different. Blood doesn’t always equal family, he supposed.

That night, he stepped outside of another shitty motel, telling Sam he had gone out for a smoke. And as he looked up at the sky, he tossed back his head and he laughed at the stars, as it no longer seemed like they were comforting him, but rather mocking him. Because Emma wasn’t up there. She wasn’t a sparkling ball of light, shining down on him.

Rather, she was probably scared, cold, and alone down in purgatory, fighting to stay alive. And the worst part was that he put her there. A day on Earth, barely getting a handle on things, and she’s thrown into purgatory by her father, of all people. And he knew that hopefully she would find some other Amazons that had managed to stay alive down there, and that with her strength and all, she would have a chance to survive.

But truthfully? He doubted she would. She was a tough kid, sure. But with the vamps and wendigos and whatever the Hell else was down there, he was having a hard time having faith.

It was only mere weeks later when Sam had let Amy off the hook.

And a part of him was bitter, angry, saddened. So why did Amy get to live? Why did Dean have to watch his blood, his daughter, get slaughtered by Sam, just because she was a monster? Why in God’s name did she have to die, but Sam’s little friend from however many years ago, got to live “just ‘cause”? It wasn’t right, none of it was.

And so he thought it would feel satisfying to drive the knife into her, to see the life leave her eyes.

But it didn’t, and Dean was confused as to why, as simple as it may have seemed. When he turned to see her son standing in the doorway, tears beginning to roll down his face, he understood.  

And when he had made it to purgatory all that time later, through the threats and scares pumping through his mind, he was consumed by thoughts of Emma. He wanted to ask Benny if he’d seen an Amazonian, who could be any age really, with orange hair and warm brown (or fiery red, depending on her mood) eyes. He wanted to grab and interrogate every creature in that damned place, demand them for answers. Though, he was afraid he wouldn’t like said answers.

He would find himself thinking of Emma right up until the moment he died, thinking for a moment that he would finally get to see her again, sort things out. After all, part of her was still human, or moreso, part of her was not a monster.

Even then, Benny was a monster, but he loved him like a brother, he’d do anything and everything for him. Sam, his own brother, was even a monster at one point, and Dean still loved him more than life itself. And when he would think back on this every so often, all he could think of, was why couldn’t he have loved her?

[marshmellowtea]

hey!! im gonna send you a lot of charas, you can answer them as you want, I just wanna make sure you have enough to answer all you want!! seishi, nikei, ayumu, marin maki, komaeda, makoto, mikan and sayake, please!

aaaaaaaa anon ur so sweet ilysm ;o; 

i’ll probably have to divide these into a couple posts so i can break it into chunks for myself but i’ll start off with seishi, nikei, and ayumu here :’0 

also putting this under a cut so i hopefully don’t break anyone’s dashes 

seishi 

favorite thing about them 

he’s just,, baby?? he’s just baby hdfjaslkdfsdf i don’t even know how to describe it. i was attached to him the moment i saw him and the more i watched of him the more in love i fell he’s such a precious dork,, 

least favorite thing about them 

idk if this actually counts because this is more of a criticism of his writing than anything but it’s so annoying how people just default him to “standard evil villain” after the katagiri zen reveal like no,, there’s so much more that can be done with him,, how dare you,, 

favorite line 

tbh as much as i’m disappointed (read: angry) with the direction voices was going to go, “did you just call us horny?” is still an ICONIC line fhaslksdfjlksdf i love it so much 

brOTP 

him and marin! also him and mikoto,, and him and nico,, tbh him and any girl is good he just vibes “let’s go wlw let’s go!!”, y’know? i also like him and nikei being like. adopted brothers or adopted cousins tbh it’s really cute 

OTP 

seishi/akira/ayumu/saiji. yes that it as an ot4. yes it counts come at me bro. any seishi/rebirth boy ship is good tho 

nOTP 

i,, really don’t like seishi/girls fjadsklfjsadf feels bad man 

random headcanon 

he has TRAUMA dammit!! i hc that he has a backstory similar to maki’s in that he was forced into being an assassin at a young age so it wasn’t really his choice to get involved in all this. i’ve kinda ran that idea into the ground at this point though so here’s a lighter headcanon: when he was 14, he reeeaaaally wanted to be a cat. like, to the point where he’s embarrassed to look back on those days because oh my god he really straight up tried to act like a cat 24/7 huh? kinda ties into another headcanon of mine that he’s less mature than he lets on and tends to go through periods of feeling kinda childlike but ssshh shsh shsh shush

unpopular opinion 

he’s a good boy with a morally dubious job and that doesn’t make him automatically evil. y’all are just unimaginative, uncreative and mean >:( 

song i associate with them 

coughs at my seishi and zen playlists uhh there’s a lot tbh but the songs most strongly connected with him in my mind are “this is how you spell haha we destroyed the hopes and dreams of a generation of faux romantics” by los campesinos! and “i’ve got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers” by fall out boy (and yes those are two songs with very long titles i know hdfaklsjdflsd ;w;) 

favorite picture of them 

aaaa rebirth doesn’t have a lot of good cgs to pull from across either of its canons and idk if fanart counts so,, but gosh i really love his surprised sprite. he’s like :o. he’s so baby i love him so much 

nikei 

favorite thing about them 

he’s so interesting. it’s clear a lot of work went into his character, and it’s always a fascinating struggle to try and write him. i think it might be a bit easier after chapter four is fully translated but still there’s a lot of complexity to him and it’s interesting trying to break down his outer shell and get inside his head, y’know? also, he’s adorable. i wanna squish his cheeks. 

least favorite thing about them 

oh my GOD does my boy stress me out. i hate seeing him being mean to my other favorite characters and i’m always just like baby why are you like this please don’t ohmygod?? i’m gonna have to watch chapter four with my hands covering my eyes hasdfjslkdf i hate betrayal plots :’) 

favorite line 

this is kinda hard actually hasdkflsjdfk but “and she threw them away just like that? girl, are you a genius or an idiot, make up your mind!” from the third trial is reALLY GOOD FHKJDFLKDSF on a more heartbreaking note though him apologizing before he dies is just,, god. god.

brOTP 

him and the other voids!! they’re a family fight me. and him and seishi, ofc. i also like him and setsuka a lot though,, after chapter six i’m doubling down on my “she’s his mom!!” stance okay. i also like him and yoruko because i think they could have a fun dynamic (and maybe a soft dynamic with older yoruko,, maybe,,)(what i’m saying is that he gains another mom okay. let me project my mommy issues in peace) 

OTP 

i,, actually largely headcanon him as aro so there’s not a lot of ships with him i’m super passionate about?? i still kinda like him and setsuka in aus and such but other than that i mostly dropped all my ships for him after chapter six cuz it’s no big loss to me. though,, i’m not gonna lie, i still have a HUGE soft spot for sorakei. after seeing his free time events they just,, grew on me and i’d think they’d be really cute together c’mon guys can we make it happen- :’0 

nOTP 

nikei/mikado nikei/mikado nikei/mikado LIKE CAN WE PUT IT TO REST ALREADY I ACTUALLY HATE IT 

random headcanon 

his hair is actually naturally super curly and he straightens it every morning so other people don’t realize this. the other voids think it looks really cute pre-straightener but he thinks it makes it hard for others to take him seriously which is why he goes to such lengths to try to hide it basically he does NOT appreciate the cooing he gets from emma, thank you very much. hgalsdjfadlfkl

unpopular opinion 

i’m not actually sure if this counts cuz i don’t see this on tumblr at least but i don’t think we should take what he says to emma and hajime in the void theater at face value. i think despite what he says he actually does care about them in his own way, he just doesn’t really show it well because he doesn’t like to be vulnerable around others. he’s an asshole sometimes (actually a lot of the time hadsflkjsdflk), but that doesn’t mean he’s unfeeling or unable to care about people. 

song i associate with them 

once again side eyes my nikei playlist ahdfslksdfjslkfd a part of me doesn’t want to spoil one of the songs on it because i do eventually wanna release it to the public but i really just,, i really gotta go with “are you satisfied?” by marina. it’s just too perfect and i think of him every time i hear it now 

favorite picture of them 

honestly? his first tts avatar. no talk him. him angy his last tts avatar upsets me though LEAVE HIM BE LINUJ

ayumu 

favorite thing about them 

AAAAAAAAAA BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND he’s so sweet such a good boy!! i like that he’s empathetic towards others cuz of his luck and he cares about how it affects them. i like that he’s soft and definitely a good cuddle partner. i love that he’s a trans icon even if that’s not really the intent i don’t care he just vibes trans so well (gal or guy or nonbinary but i tend to stick with the trans guy headcanon cuz haha i transmasc-)  

least favorite thing about them 

i kinda wish he had more of a canon sarcastic side? i mean i’m gonna continue to write him that way lol but c’mon there had to have been times where his luck is just so wildly terrible that his inner hinata jumps out and he makes a quip about it hfkajsdfksdf 

favorite line 

aaaaaa his little hope speech during in voices’ chapter one trial makes me soft,, i love him so much,, i also like him shutting aruma down when she’s being too horny hdlkajdsflksdf it’s really good 

brOTP 

ngl i tend to ship him with most of the class so,, like,, i also brotp him with the whole class,, dalfksdlfkasdf 

OTP 

see above but my favorite of those pairings are ayumu/seishi, ayumu/akira and ayumu/mikoto 

nOTP 

when i’m headcanoning him as a trans guy: nico, misuzu, and kasumi cuz i hc them as lesbians. when i’m headcanoning her as a trans girl: seishi. kind of a nonissue when i go with a nonbinary headcanon though 

random headcanon 

he plays minecraft with akira a lot, but they always have to play in create mode where you can’t really die otherwise it’s just a montage of ayumu dying over and over again, pfft. even with unlimited life though he still usually ends up stuck somewhere and akira has to come dig him out and since akira’s a rude boy he’s always laughing his ass off as he’s doing it smh >:0

unpopular opinion 

it’s,, silly to be mad about his “secretly a boy” twist on the same level as you’re mad about the v3 protag twist,, it’s a fangan and not even that well known of one at that like it doesn’t really have the power to “break down barriers” like that or whatever tf you’re expecting hdsflkajsfdlksdf 

song i associate with them 

he’s another character i have a playlist for ahdflaksdjflaksd but “this is home” by cavetown and i cry every time :’) 

favorite picture of them 

once again there’s not a lot of canon art to pull from but i do adore the promo art of him with his “male” and “female” versions :’0 

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Even numbers :}

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU CRAZY KIDDO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE A BLESSING ON THIS WORLD!!!!!!

2: is your room messy or clean?

It’s kind of a mix?? Like I leave my clothes folded on top of the drawers rather than putting them away bc the drawers stick and it’s just easier access. The messiest thing about my room is that I’m a human magpie who likes collecting shiny/interesting things so I have a lot of stones and bits of metal or ceramic and some nuts and bolts lying around pffft. XD But mostly I keep things kinda tidy.

4: do you like your name? why?

I DO NOW!!!! :DDDDD

6: describe your personality in 3 words or less

uUUUuuHHHHHh well-meaning, stubborn, energetic! :D

8: what kind of car do you drive? color?

I currently drive my parents’ car. It’s dark grey… not gonna say what model. XD

10: how would you describe your style?

Like, clothes wise? Either very simple n plain or outrageously colourful n quirky. Depends on the day. XD

12: what size bed do you have?

Double.

14: if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Oof honestly just back home (in Victoria.) A part of me also wants to try out a big city?? I’ve always lived in the country and tbh I kind of hate big cities because they seem to be filled with rude busy people but I wanna live there just to have something different and so I’ll know for sure and to say I did, y’know? (lmao a friend and I joke that we’re gonna move to NYC together one day, so she can keep my li’l naive country boi ass from getting chewed up and spat out by New Yorkers. I appreciate it. X’D )

16: favorite makeup brand(s)

No idea. I’ve only worn makeup twice, and those times were when my Mum begged me for a solid year until I finally caved and let her do it… grumpily. X’D

18: favorite tv show?

S E N S E 8

20: how tall are you?

5′4. :)

22: do you go to the gym? 

Nope, not enough money. I used to work out a lot at home and I got p ripped but because of my eating disorder I had to stop. Still haven’t started up again yet. :(

24: how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

21 bucks. :D

26: how many pillows do you sleep with?

2. One under my head and one to cuddle (shut up, I kNow. XD )

28: how many friends do you have?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  too lazy to count, however many people I interact with online. I don’t have any irl friends… god that sounds pathetic. XD

30: whats your favorite candle scent?

Absolutely no idea, we never have any. That’s actually something I wanna change when I get my own place. I like candles. They calm me.

32: 3 favorite girl names

God I am so shitty with names. My characters either name themselves or they don’t get names. X’D UUUUUUUUHHHHH, Amber, Ida, Carmen??? idk???

34: favorite actress?

Emma Thompson is an actual fucking legend and I would go to battle for her.

36: favorite movie?

How to Train Your Dragon or Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse! :D (If it has to be live action: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. :P )

38: money or brains? 

Heart.

40: how many times have you been to the hospital?

For myself, personally? Lots when I was a baby bc I had chronic ear infections and would literally just scream 24/7 and never sleep, I was in so much pain (poor tiny Matt. :(((( ) Once because I had a really bad migraine around age 13 that literally would not go away and had me throwing up every other minute and in such bad pain I wanted to literally die. And once recently when I felt super sick for months and months and finally went only to find there was nothing wrong with me?? turned out it was my gluten intolerance but dear god I had never felt that sick.

42: do you take any medications daily?

Just my asthma preventer (and I forget to take that a lot and end up not being able to breathe as well as I should, bc I’m the World’s Biggest Dumbass :)) XD )

44: what is your biggest fear? 

Physically: Not being able to breathe. Emotionally: The people I love ending up hating me just because I’m me. There’s a lot of irony to unpack there but I’m just gonna set the whole suitcase on fire. :)

46: whats your go to hair style?

Shaving the whole damn thing off.

48: who is your role model? 

I don’t really have one?? I guess my parents?? But I don’t really wanna be exactly like them either? I think it’s unwise to put anyone on a pedestal bc nobody’s perfect.

50: what was the last text you sent?

Screaming to a friend about how cute her OC is. XD

52: what is your dream car?

Literally could not care less so long as it gets me where I’m going and it’s neon yellow. X’D

54: do you go to college? 

Nope, dropped out of highschool early lmao.

56: would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

Rural I guess?? But that’s only because I’ve always lived rural and don’t know any different. it’s quiet, I like quiet.

58: do you have freckles? 

Yep! I don’t have them in big patches tho? I just have like, some random single ones scattered all over my body?? XD

60: how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

Don’t have a phone and dear GOD I don’t even wanna know how many pictures I have on my laptop. Answer: too many. XD

62: do you still watch cartoons? 

OF COURSE!! :D

64: Favorite dipping sauce? 

idk I don’t really dip things in sauce? Maybe just tomato sauce?

66: have you ever won a spelling bee?

Yes, actually!! Woooo go bb Matt!! :D

68: can you draw? 

Stick figures? Yes. XD

70:what was the last concert you saw?

Never been to one.

72: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Only ever been to Starbucks so I can’t really compare. 

74: what is your crush’s first and last initial?

76: what color looks best on you? 

I think blue does. 💙

78: do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Open. Sleeping with it closed freaks me out, idk why. 😅

80: what is your biggest pet peeve? 

Being condescended to. :///

82: favorite ice cream flavor? 

Mint choc chip! Or rainbow! XD

84: chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

GIMME THE GAY SPRINKLES EVERY TIME.

86: what is your phone background?

Laptop background is currently THIS incredibly amazing beautiful accurate drawing Oli did of my OC Ben!!! :’D

88: do you like it when people play with your hair?

Y E S. I used to hate it when it was rlly long but now it’s heaven. ^-^ Unless I’m in one of my ‘being touched makes my skin crawl’ kind of moods.

90: do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Just whenever I have my shower, occasionally during the day if I’m sweaty or whatever. Sometimes if my insomnia kicked me in the ass I splash my face n neck with cold water to wake up in the morning.

92: have you ever been drunk? 

Nope, and I really don’t want to be. The idea of being out of control of myself, even just a little bit, is terrifying to me. No thanks. I also just generally do not like alcohol, idk why. 

94: favorite lyrics right now

My all-time favourite lyrics come from Twenty One Pilots’ song ‘The Judge’ (even though I don’t actually like the song itself I love the lyrics):“When the leader of the bad guys sangSomething soft and soaked in painI heard the echo from his secret hideawayHe must’ve forgot to close his doorAs he cranked out those dismal chordsAnd his four walls declared him insane”

96: day or night? 

*chanting* NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT N

98: favorite month? 

Ironically, considering my character March is a giant dickwad, it’s March. XD The weather is just starting to turn cool after the grueling summer and it’s also my birth month! :D

100: who was the last person you cried in front of?

My Dad. Yikes.

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKIN, ALEX!!!

[losttalongthewayy]

goodnight little love

----------cs + morning sickness in the middle of the night (( AO3 ))

my cs baby feels are in an all time high after finally finishing watching 702 tonight, so here ya go Tumblr, this has been half written for m o n t h s, so idk, happy cs baby feels y’all! these babes are canonically starting a family and I’m just feeling all the feels! Ciao <33

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It’s definitely not as bad as it was with Henry, not at all. Emma knows she should consider herself lucky, only being sick once a day at most, but still… by week 14, Emma’s already done with some of it. She’s tired of being tired all the freaking time. She’s bloated more often than not, and the nausea; the nausea is by far the worst.

Aside for her one, 3am long-standing appointment with the porcelain bowl every night, Emma’s been mostly ‘blessed’ with just nausea day-round and not vomit. Which she figures makes her lucky; it could be worse, she knows how much worse it could be, puking at the drop of hat —she lived it before, so she knows, but despite the lack of retching, her stomach does churn 24/7 and she’s sick of it.

She’s already missed more days at work in the last month than she has in her whole time in Storybrooke all together. She just doesn’t feel right. She’s dizzy and queasy so often, that she finds at least sleeping she’s unaware of the sickness. And it’s not as if she’s not tired enough to justify all the naps –she is.

Killian is great about the whole thing; he’s awesome at allowing her to moan and complain as much as she wants without making her feel whiny or worse, weak. He’s great. Her parents are being completely amazing as well, as is her son and pretty much everyone who knows —which aren’t that many yet, but she figures in time she won’t even have to announce it, they’ll just be able to tell.

Which worries her too, because showing does mean everybody knowing about the baby, and that’s scary. It’s also exciting though. Showing after all does mean the baby is growing, and she wants that. She wants this tiny human of hers to grown healthy so that she and Killian can meet it soon.

She is looking forward to it. It has surprised her how genuinely excited she is about it, but she is; she can’t wait for it to be born, to see it and hold it —to be there when Killian holds it for the first time.

If anything, Emma’s completely sure what an incredible dad he’s going to be —in so many ways, he already is. He doesn’t talk to it yet, but Emma knows it’s not for lack of wanting. She catches him lost in thought more often than not and it’s the baby he’s thinking about. He asks her questions all the time, what does she need, has she taken her vitamins yet, does she think the room they chose for the baby is too small or too big, should they start buying it’s clothes and toys yet. Emma’s favorite thus far, does she think the baby will enjoy the water like he does? It melts her heart, right to the core it does, and the fact that at 3 am every night he wakes up with her, just for the sake of being with her, and with the excuse that he doesn’t need his sleep as much, even when he so totally does, doesn’t hurt too much.

Is this why, when her head lifts from the very disgusting toilet bowl, and the first thing she sees in front of her is a washcloth wet to warm perfection, Emma forces herself  to throw a rather appreciative smile Killian’s way.

The guy is a godsend, there’s no question about that.

Never mind he’s been literally sent to her by a god.

Did she mention at nighttime he now keeps a fluffy blanket by the side of the toilet? All so that she doesn’t have to sit on the cold tiles while upchucking her cookies? Yeah, her guy is pretty great, all right.

“Thank you,” Emma tells him simply, grabbing the washcloth from him.

Killian nods, and scoots over to the bathroom sink to grab something else.

Perfectly timed as Emma finishes wiping at her mouth and face, he hands her a glass full of fizzy ginger ale. Emma takes it gladly, moaning a little as she immediately lifts the glass to her lips and takes a generous sip.

So maybe she should just suck this up and be grateful for everything she has —Killian, at the top of that list right now. God knows she’d take all the nausea in the world if it means they’ll have a healthy baby in a few months and Emma gets to keep its Daddy with her through the whole thing and then some.

Eventually, after taking some more sips, and feeling her stomach settle slightly, Emma sits back and breathes out deeply. Killian sits by her, his eyes on her as he tries to relax as well, but she knows he won’t completely as long as they are still in the bathroom. Instead he’ll be up in seconds if she so happens to need anything.

Emma loves him.

“I’m fine,” she tells him then for his sake. Killian hasn’t asked the question, he never does really; he always chooses to read her and simply wait until she tells him when the worst of the sickness has passed.

Which thankfully now has, she thinks.

Killian nods at her, a tender, soft smile on his face. “Would you like to go back to bed then?”

Emma shakes her head quickly at that, and then smiles guiltily at the face he gives her. Fine, fine, so maybe she isn’t feeling completely fine yet.

Busted. “Give me just a few more minutes, kay?”

“Absolutely,” he tells her. Killian sighs and leans back against the cool wall behind them. Emma eyes him for all of ten seconds before scooting closer to him. He doesn’t think about it before gathering her in his arms, tenderly pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Emma breathes him in deeply, partly because his smell is one of the few things these days that doesn’t make her feel sick, and partly too because even after all this time, Killian, being this close to him, is still one of those things that simply make her feel secure and steady.

She needs this right now, the vivid reminder that everything’s well and she’s safe.

When Emma looks up at him, his chin shifts slightly from the top of her head, and he hums. His eyes are closed, while his arms are loosely holding her —in case she needs to bolt back to the toilet, he knows. Emma knows this is the part of the night they usually talk —or try to anyway. He’ll ask her a silly question requesting whatever story she’s willing to share, or he’ll simply start talking, tell her a tale or two from his many years of voyages.

“Love…”

There he is. “Hum?” Emma replies, still looking up at him.

Killian keeps his eyes shut for another moment, his breathing steady as well as his hold on her. ““How are you feeling?”

Her eyebrows knit, and her expression goes confused at that question. “I just sai–”

“No, I,” he trails off, shaking his head. “I don’t mean—” he tries again, his eyes opening and meeting hers now. “How are you feeling?”

Ah.

For some reason Emma does get now what he’s trying to ask. “As in not in general, physically, but…about this all, as in the kid?”

“Aye,” he nods, then dares a small smile. “As in the small, very very small kid. The one currently living inside you,” he explains making her smile.

Emma still just shrugs at the question. “You’ve been talking to my mom about me, haven’t you?” she asks, and surprisingly enough he shakes his head. “No?”

Again he shakes his head in reply, but then smirks just so and Emma chuckles. “Dad then?”

“Aye,” Killian says.

“When?”

“Ah, here and there…” he tells her, and she knows she isn’t getting more from him on that. “Point being, it’s gotten me thinking…about you, us, the babe. I’d like to know you’re well love. Not just…you know, physically well, but…well…”

Emma takes a moment, a rather long one just looking at him. She thinks about the last few days, the last month or so since they’ve known about their baby….she thinks about all the things that are different and all the things that aren’t.

She thinks about Killian.

She thinks about Henry and her parents and her family.

She thinks about her old self —the one pregnant and in jail, and…alone.

Her eyes fall to her lap and she—

“You’ve mentioned not remembering pregnancy being this bad a few times now…I’ve heard you love; I just haven’t been sure what to tell you back…”

Emma tilts her head up toward him. “Did I really say that?” She asks him instead of replying to his first question yet.

She can’t exactly place when she might have said that, but she figures it comes to show her overly tired nauseated self is also a liar on top of everything else.

This pregnancy is in no way worse than hers with Henry was —physically or any other way, really, but there’s no way Killian knows any of this.

He only knows what she says when she’s tired and feeling sulky and just oh so fed up with the nausea.

Emma hasn’t talked to him much about her first pregnancy —at all actually. She just doesn’t like to go there. She feels guilty —guilty because she gave up her son and she isn’t giving up this baby.

She’d rather never have to think about how it was to be pregnant back then but…

“Aye love,” Killian replies then, her thoughts interrupted. “More than a couple of times now…” He says, and Emma purses her lips.

“You know,” she begins, relaxing a little into his embrace. “It’s not true,” she tells him, and Killian looks at her with surprised wide eyes. “It’s…my pregnancy with Henry was…”

“What?” Killian prompts, but his tone is soft and careful.

While anyone else pushing her to talk would put her off, Killian’s soft, innocent questioning does encourage her to share this with him. She swallows at the lump that has formed in her throat and gives a small shrug. “It was rough,” to put it mildly. “It was more than that, actually. It was…well, it was…hell…”

His jaw clenches and his eyes shift from hers for a beat.

Emma gets it, simply imagining any of the painful moments he’s gone through in his life are enough to make her insides hurt. She can imagine is the same way for him and some of the painful parts of her past.

After a moment, she simply shrugs at him —it is what it is, after all.

Killian nods back, slowly. “Do you remember much?”

Emma thinks about it —she wants to emphatically nod right then. Tell him a big fat yes. That of course she remembers. How being pregnant, heartbroken and locked up isn’t exactly something she can just forget so easily.

But…

There is a but. “I remember everything, but…” There isn’t a prompt to continue this time from Killian, but Emma can almost hear it all the same by the way his eyes lock with hers. “It’s a weird thing —I don’t care about it, I’d do it all again,” she tells him honestly. “In a heartbeat I’d go through it all again because in the end…well, in the end it gave me my son, and while I wasn’t there from the start, he’s my kid and I wouldn’t trade that for the world…”

Killian takes in her words, nods slowly at her. He understands.

“This time around is…you know, tough too. The nausea is getting the best of me these days, and that’s what you hear, but it isn’t…it is not particularly bad, I promise you,” as she says this Emma actually goes and tries for a smile in Killian’s direction.

He smiles back at her and reaches up his good hand to cup her face.

“I’m good,” Emma promises. “I swear I am.” She adds, and at this, he nods. “And just as I went and would go again through hell for Henry,” she pauses thinking for a tiny moment before adding, “For you,” she says, and smirks despite the flash of heartache that crosses Killian’s face. It’s the truth though. “I’d go through just about anything —everything for this kid as well. A little bit of nausea and the whole lot of bitching that you hear, is nothing, Killian. I can take it, okay? For the kid, I can take everything this pregnancy brings…”

And suddenly she feels like she might cry so she shifts her eyes away from his.

She’s not usually this clear with words but this particular subject she wants to put out in the open and make sure they stay on the same page.

It doesn’t take away the fact that it takes a lot from her to go to all these emotional places and now all she wants is curl up in a ball and not think about it for the rest of the night…

Probably the rest of the month, honestly.

“Emma,”

She refuses to look up at him at first; she’s still struggling a bit to reel back in her emotions.

“Emma, love,” and of course as he says this he’s also shifting her face up with his hand. His hand on her jaw is soft and tender though, his eyes looking into her with love and affection that make Emma’s heart squeeze inside her chest.

She nods at him to talk then, her eyes meeting his with what she hopes is the same level of affection she sees in his. “You’re amazing love,” he tells her as if that is the simplest, yet most important fact in this world.

It makes her blush a bit, gives her that urge to look down she has to fight something fierce.

He’s smiling at her though, thumb running lovingly over the apple of her cheek as he looks into her eyes as if she’s the whole damn world to him.

“Every day you blow me away, your strength, your love for this baby, for the lad…me…” he says, a silly, sort of coy expressing crossing his face. “You’re my all, Emma Swan, and I just…it is my hope I can help make these few months if only a little bit easier….” he tells her. “Not because I don’t think you can take anything under the sun, but because I don’t want you to have to. I want you to lean on me and I want to be here and share on everything with you, all right?”

A tiny chuckle escapes her, it’s watery, but she still refuses to let those pesky tears fall from her eyes right now.

Instead, she nods at him. “All right,” she agrees simply and he beams —he positively beams at her and before Emma can produce another single thought or word, he’s leaning in to kiss her and the world around her effectively disappears.

His lips are warm, as they always —always— are, and suddenly she’s warm too —not just physically, although her cheeks certainly do feel warm and that pool of warmth in her belly demanding more sure is too, but she mostly feels inwardly warm —her heart. She feels her love for him tenfold when he’s this close —when his lips brush hers and his hand caresses her as if she’s the most delicate being he’s ever touched.

Her love for him is warm and great and…perfect in all their imperfect ways and Emma Swan sure as hell wouldn’t want it any other way.

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Eventually she sighs —he’s pulled back slightly, not much really, just enough so that their noses are still brushing and his forehead is resting against hers. “We’re getting good at this, aren’t we now?” She hears him say then.

Reluctantly she opens her eyes and looks upward into his. “Huh?”

“Feelings,” he says, his smirk stupidly big and playful.

Emma groans, in absolute jest and slaps his chest.

“Sharing them and all I mean, love…”

She rolls her eyes although she does know and deep down she does agree —time together has definitely given them the ability to just talk about how they are feeling most times. They aren’t pros at it yet —by any means, it still takes much prompting and patience some days, but regardless they are getting there and that’s a good thing.

“Not lying, Swan…”

She looks at him, fights the smile that wants to form, but still nods. “Nah you’re not,” she tells him simply before just melting once more into him. Killian holds her tight to him, he’s fairly certain the worst of her sickness has now truly passed so he feels confident holding her to him is all right once more.

He kisses her hair, strokes her back, her belly for a little while too. He feels her breathing shifting slowly —feels her melting into him slowly more and more, feels her heart beating against him and peace washes over him as it always does during this portion of their nights.

He sighs, giving her temple one strong kiss again and stroking her face slightly with the pads of his fingers.

“Let’s go to bed now, love…”

She hums in response, sleep almost having taken her completely already.

Killian’s up from the floor slowly and carefully helps Emma every step of the way. She’s leaning into him almost completely, giving small steps every time he gives one. Her eyes stay closed, as they always do this time of the night, and slowly but surely, they make it back into their bedroom.

He helps her into her side of the bed, and Emma waits patiently until he climbs next to her and snuggles into his side one more time.

She’s asleep within minutes, Killian can tell but it takes him just a bit longer to do the same. It’s such a huge thing they are doing —growing their family in every sense there is. He’s lucky he thinks, to have Emma and their family and everything that they are building.

One thing he knows, and that’s how he’ll do anything for them —all of them— his family.

“Night love,” he whispers, pressing a feather like kiss to Emma’s cheek. His hand moves then and he sets it flat on her belly, his thumb stroking the bit of skin that’s showing. “Night to you too little love…”