#idk. tbh i was using school as a way to take a break from life

[gideonisms]

what am I even going to do when I graduate? wait a few years and then get another degree? am I going to like have a party for this. Who would I even invite

[sebscore]

PRIZE OUT

pairing: charles leclerc x sister!reader 

warnings: rbr. mention of horner and marko. this doesn't really have a plot, tbh- just felt like writing it. 

author's note: idk how this came to me, but it did in the middle of the night and i hope you enjoy it as well. also, the way i keep writing things that no one requested- i know yall hate me. 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Yeah, I'll let you know. Goodbye, bye.'' Charles hung up the phone, sighing loudly as he put it back in his pocket. His mother watched him, frowning at her son's obvious frustration. ''What is it, Charles?'' She asked him, slight concern in her voice. 

''I have to let them know who my plus-one is for the FIA Prize Giving this week, but I have no date.'' He explained, his hand going through his hair. 

Pascale chuckled, relieved it wasn't some bigger issue her son was dealing with. ''I thought you were about to reveal a big crisis to me, but it's just about finding you a date.'' She laughed, much to Charles' dismay. 

''It's serious, Maman!'' He exclaimed. ''Normally I would take Charlotte, but you know…'' the couple hadn't split for too long, the topic still a bit sensitive for him, ''maybe you can go with me? You love Italy!'' 

The offer was tempting, but Pascale had a better idea. ''How about you take your sister with you? She likes dressing up and the two of you will get to spent some time together.'' She suggested. 

Charles thought for a moment, thinking about the idea. His little sister would indeed enjoy going to a formal event like this and with her by his side, it would be way less boring than usual. 

''Yeah, I'll ask her.'' He smiled. 

His mother walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, putting her arms around him. ''Oh, that's so great! My two babies!'' Pascale beamed. ''And she's been so stressed with her exams coming up, it will take her mind off of that.'' 

''I'll go ask her then.'' Charles got up from his seat, wanting to move to his sister's room. However, his mother's voice stopped him in his tracks. ''Oh, don't forget that we have dinner with Ollie's parents Monday night.'' She told him. 

''I didn't know about that.'' He furrowed his eyebrows, confused on why this is the first he has heard of it. 

''That's why I'm telling you about it now.'' Pascale retorted, matter-of-factly.

Charles had the urge to roll his eyes, but managed to hold himself in. ''So who's coming? The five of us, and then him and his family?'' 

''Y/N, me, you, Lorenzo and Arthur is also bringing Carla, and then Ollie is coming with his parents.'' She replied, getting up from the couch. 

''Aren't they from England?'' 

''Yeah, but they're in Monaco for the Formula 3 Prize Ceremony on Sunday.'' Pascale clarified for him, amused by his attempt to appear uninterested. ''Charles, I know you're not too happy about your sister dating, but he's a good kid and I want you on your best behaviour Monday.'' 

''I just don't want her to get hurt. This is her first relationship and it's long distance so I'm just looking out for her.'' Charles didn't have anything against the young Brit, he really didn't. Ollie is a polite guy and from what he has seen, he has a bright future ahead of him as a driver.

But he's her big brother and even the mere thought of his baby sister getting hurt by anyone breaks his heart. Charles knows she'll have a hard time with Ollie being away so much, because he knows the experience himself. Yes, there are many drivers who are able to make long distance relationships work, but most of them are adults. She's 17 years-old and still in school, she shouldn't be stressing about what her boyfriend is up to on the other side of the world. 

''Trust me, Chérie- I don't want her to get hurt either, but we can't stop her from experiencing life. Whatever is meant to be will happen, whether it works out with the kid or not. Until then, I want everyone to be as supportive as they can be.'' Pascale understood his worries, she shared them with him. Y/N is her youngest and only daughter, she wants to protect her girl from all the evil in the world. However, shielding her away from everything will do more bad than good. 

Charles nodded at her words, knowing she's right. ''I know, I am supportive of them, but if that little guy makes her cry, I'll give him something to cry about.'' He tried sounding scary, clenching his jaw. 

His mother simply laughed. ''I think that 'little guy' is a bit taller than you, Charlie.'' 

''Oh, whatever.'' 

''That's the Red Bull car?'' Y/N observed the winning machinery that was displayed for everyone to see at the FIA event. 

Charles looked from his sister, to his rivals' car, to her again. ''Yup, that's the one.'' 

''It's kinda ugly.'' The blunt comment made the Ferrari driver snort, garnering some weird looks from bypassers and other drivers. 

''Be careful, Y/N!'' He hushed her, putting his hand over her mouth. ''Don't get us in trouble.'' 

''It's the truth, though.'' 

''I know, but just keep it in your head.'' 

The siblings walked further into the building, Charles greeting some people he recognised here and there. Y/N held onto her brother's hand for dear life, her anxiety going through the roof. It wasn't just the large space with all the strangers that was freaking her out, it was also the new pair of heels she was rocking. 

Charles glanced at the shoes. ''Why didn't you wear flats? I don't want you to break your ankles.'' 

''I wanted to look a little taller next to you and they go well with my dress.'' She answered him, a bit agitated by his questioning. ''Let's link our arms, if I fall- you fall.'' Y/N did as she said and put her arm around Charles'. 

Her brother laughed, momentarily patting her hand. ''How about no falling at all?'' 

They arrived at the big hall where someone led them to their seats at one of the many tables present in the room. Seated on the table next to them was the RBR family: Max, Checo, Christian Horner, Helmet Marko and their significant others who subtly greeted the Leclercs upon seeing them. 

''You look really pretty, Y/N.'' Kelly complimented the young girl as they walked past them. 

Y/N shyly smiled at the older woman, surprised at the sudden praise since the two of them haven't had many interactions throughout the years. ''Thank you, you too.'' She politely replied. 

''Hey, how are you?'' Max focused on her when his small talk with Charles was done, sticking out his fist for a bump. 

Both Leclerc siblings chuckled at the greeting. ''I'm good and you?'' She didn't leave him hanging and gently bumped her fist with his. 

''I'm great.'' The dutchman smiled. 

The youngest Leclerc remembered how she would taunt Charles by running after him while shouting Max's name, knowing it would annoy her older brother- especially if he had just lost to him in karting. She found it funny how they're still rivals after all these years. 

''Congratulations on your championship.'' Y/N quickly told him before following Charles to their seats, not wanting to lose her brother in the crowd. 

Max thanked her, but she was already gone and didn't hear it. The Red Bull driver was very fond of the young girl, because he had known her since she was a toddler. He would always remember how Charles would take her on the podium with him if the Monégasque had won, and that one time a 7 year-old Y/N gave him a high-five despite having won against her brother. 

''This shit is really boring.'' Y/N whispered as the two hosts started announcing a new category, a yawn almost escaping her mouth. 

Charles chuckled, feeling the exact same way about the event. ''I have to get up to give the 'Rookie of the Year' award in a few minutes so I'm just trying to look alive.'' 

''Who won it this year?'' She asked him, not aware of the winner. 

''Zane Maloney, he was second in the F3 championship,'' he answered before smirking, ''oh, he finished in front of Ollie.'' 

Y/N gave him a side-eye, unimpressed by her brother's teasing. ''Yeah, by like 2 points.'' 

''Maybe you should have dated Zane instead.'' Charles continued, still grinning like an idiot and raising his eyebrow. 

''How many points were there between you and Max again?'' 

''I gotta go now, I think.'' Charles got up from his seat, looking mildly annoyed by his sister's comeback. Meanwhile, Y/N had a satisfied expression on her face knowing she pissed her brother off. ''He's so stupid.'' 

''You had fun tonight?'' Charles asked her on their drive back to his home in Maranello, his tailored Ferrari jacket draped over her as the coldness of the night settled in. 

Y/N nodded her head, a tired smile on her face. ''Yeah, it was funny seeing you on the stage.'' 

''You kept laughing at me! You know how hard I was trying to keep my laughter in?'' He exclaimed, recalling his sister distracting him while he accepted his award. ''And you were filming it as well!'' 

''Of course I was,'' Y/N cackled, ''it's for mum.'' 

''Well, I'm happy you had a good time at least.'' Charles grinned, his tone changing from offended to loving. 

The youngest hummed, a comfortable silence falling upon them. 

''Are you, uh, gonna be home Monday?'' Y/N interrupted the quietness, a hint of nerves in her voice. 

Charles confusingly glanced at his sister. ''Yeah, we're having dinner, haven't we?'' 

The unexcited sound of his voice made her roll her eyes. ''You sound very excited about, thank you so much, Charles.'' Y/N told him, sarcastically. 

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that- I am looking forward to it, it's gonna be great.'' He apologised, his arm going over her shoulder. 

Y/N nodded to his words. ''I hope so, Ollie's very nervous about it.'' 

''Why?'' 

''Cause he says Arthur has been acting weird with him, and he thinks you and Lorenzo absolutely despise him.'' Ollie's concerns over her brothers had greatly upset her, the sad look on his face when he told her breaking her heart. 

Charles felt guilty upon hearing his sister's answer. ''I don't despise him and neither does Enzo, and Arthur is always weird,'' he denied her words, ''I'm sorry that we made him worry about that, that's not our intention- he's a good guy.'' 

''I don't need everyone to be like best friends, but he shouldn't be shitting his pants any time you guys come near him.'' Y/N joked, although there was a truth to her words. 

Her brother squeezed her hand. ''We like him, alright? 

''That makes me happy.'' She said, a genuine smile on her face. 

''But if he makes you cry-''

''Yeah, you're gonna give him something to cry about- mum already told me.'' 

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[genshinluvr]

Crash Landing in Teyvat

Pairings: Various Genshin men x Isekai'd!Reader, minor Lumine x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: You're having the worst day ever. You failed your sociology exam, your laptop was ruined because your backpack was soaked due to the rain, your mother compared you to your cousin, and you lost a friend. Instead of working on your university assignments, you decided to take a nap instead. Only to wake up and find out that you've been Isekai'd into Genshin Impact.

Note: Tbh I have no idea how to feel about this fanfic since I typed it out during the first week of my university starting 🥲 There are multiple ways of how I've imagined the reader will be sucked into Genshin Impact, and this is one out of a few other scenarios I had in my mind. If you guys want another version of a somewhat similar concept, I can make that happen but Idk when I can make it 🤔 Also, yes, I got the title from a Kdrama called "Crash Landing on You." Anywho! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: Readers' mother compares them to their cousin and siblings (mainly cousin), mentions of friendship drama, small mentions of death, Xiao points his polearm blade at the unconscious reader

Word Count: 9.1k

Want to read another version of how the reader gets Isekai'd into Genshin Impact? Read Drawn to You!

This was the worst day ever. You failed your sociology exam, you completely forgot to bring your jacket during the rainiest season of the year, and your backpack is soaked from the rain, thus destroying the laptop that you bought mainly for your school work. You tossed your wet bag onto the wooden floor of your bedroom before storming to the bathroom to change out of your damp clothes.

“This is the shittiest day of my life.” You grumbled, yanking your shirt, pants, and undergarments off your body before tossing them into the laundry basket. “Can’t I catch a break?” You grumbled, turning on the faucet of the shower before getting into the shower to shampoo, condition, and scrub down your entire body.

After washing your entire body, shampooing, and conditioning your hair, you sit under the running water, hugging your knees to your chest with your head resting on your knees. Even though you were done with everything in the shower, you couldn’t find the energy in you to turn off the shower, dry your body, and get dressed into clean clothes. All you could think of was how shitty your day had been; it started badly and ended terribly. After what felt like an hour of sitting under the pouring water, you were able to turn the shower faucet off, dry your damp hair and body with a fuzzy towel, and get dressed into clean undergarments and pajamas.

“I’m not in the mood to dry my hair.” You grumbled, tossing your towel onto the drying rack before brushing down your dripping wet hair and squeezing the water from the ends of your hair. You opened your bathroom door and walked over to your computer, turning it on before collapsing onto the rolling chair. Even though you have a ton of assignments to complete for your courses, you don’t have the energy or motivation to finish them and turn them in ahead of time like you used to. Besides, they’re all due next week; it’s only a Monday. You turned to your computer and typed in your passcode, waiting for the computer to load up everything on the monitor.

Your phone vibrates on your desk; you slowly lean forward to reach for your phone. Your hand slips, causing your phone to wobble and fall onto the wooden floor of your bedroom. You groaned and leaned over to grab your phone from the floor, mentally cursing at yourself for letting your phone fall to the ground.

“What a fucking pain.” You muttered, turning your phone on to scroll through your notifications. You saw that you received a text message from one of your closest friends, Rachel. You press your thumb on the censors and wait for your phone to unlock. You clicked on the KakaoTalk notification and rubbed your eyes tiredly. While waiting for the messages to load, you launched Genshin Impact on your computer. You looked down at the messages between you and Rachel on your phone.

Rachel Elle: “Hey, girlie! Do you want to co-op in Genshin later? We haven’t co-oped with each other in months, and I really miss co-oping with you :(.”

[Y/N] [L/N]: “Yeah, of course! I don’t know when though; I had a bad day at school and really need to cool down from what has happened. I’ll let you know when I’m available for co-op, if that’s okay with you?” 

Seen.

“Of course, I’m left on seen. Not surprised there.” You sighed and tossed your phone onto your bed before logging into the game, putting on your headphones, and beginning to do your daily commissions in Liyue, Inazuma, and Mondstadt. You have known Rachel for less than five years, and you’re grateful that she’s your friend! But ever since you and Rachel had a small fight, things have been different between the two of you. At least, to you, it felt different. You love her like a sister, and she’s a decent friend! But lately, the two of you have been drifting apart, and you think it's for the best because, well, how do you keep a friendship when there’s a constant fight over controversial topics or when one person would make very uncomfortable comments out of the blue? Not only that, but your parents didn’t seem to like her at all; in fact, they wanted you to stop being friends with her after she and your siblings got into a massive argument at the beach a few months back. That argument almost resulted in her and your siblings getting arrested by the police for public disturbances.

After completing your daily commissions in Genshin and collecting the awards, you just sat there and stared at your screen. Your bedroom door suddenly flies open, startling you. You rolled around in your chair, only to see your mother standing there with both of her hands propped up on her hips, glaring at you. Oh no, what is she going to chew you out for now?

“Why are you playing that damn game? Don’t you have homework to do?!” She asks, walking further into your bedroom. 

“Mom, am I not allowed to take a break from school work? I had a bad day at school, and I need a break from schoolwork.” You said, propping your head up on your desk. “Playing Genshin Impact is one of my ways of taking my mind off of things and releasing my stress.” You added, looking back at your computer monitor.

“If you continue to play this Genshin game of yours, you’ll fall behind in school!” Said your mom. Her face pinches up with anger and frustration before letting out a sharp ‘tsk.’ “Have you seen your cousin Huong? She is top of her class at a prestigious university, and she’s an artist that makes hundreds and thousands of dollars from the people that commissions her! Why can’t you be like your cousin, huh!?” Your mom slams her hand on your nightstand. 

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be like her!” You cross your arms over your chest. “I’m glad that she’s doing well, and I’m proud of her! The last thing I need right now is for you to compare me to my cousin after I had the worst day ever after my laptop was destroyed because of the heavy rainfall and I failed my sociology exam.” You sighed, rubbing your temples with an irritated sigh.

Your mom leans against your bedroom wall, giving you a look of disapproval while shaking her head. “I raised you to be intelligent and successful, and yet you’re letting your own mother down.” She scoffs. “You probably failed your sociology exam because all you can think about is that damn game you always play and waste your money on and those fictional men on your bedroom wall!” She points at the Genshin and anime prints on your wall.

“Mom, my focus in school has nothing to do with Genshin or anime. I play Genshin because it’s fun, and I enjoy the game! I watch anime because they’re entertaining. Is it bad for me to have a hobby? Plus, Huong likes anime too. Why is it bad whenever I like anime?” You ask, frowning at your mom, who stares at you silently.

You continued to let your mom belittle you and compare you to your cousin for the next thirty minutes while you stared at the paused Genshin screen blankly. If only there were a way for you to escape your world and enter another universe where you’re not suffering and being compared to your other cousins and siblings. As much as you want that to come true, you know it will never happen and that it only happens in fictional stories and shows. 

Once your mom had finally stopped comparing you to your cousin (and siblings right after she was done going on and on about your cousin’s achievement), she eventually left you alone. You stared at your computer screen and reluctantly closed out of the game. As much as you wanted to continue with the game, your mother comparing you to your cousin and siblings left a bad taste in your mouth. Plus, your mother comparing you to your cousin and siblings also dampened your mood even more and made you feel even worse about yourself than you already have. You stared at CANVAS on your monitor, slowly going over to the “grades” section of the website to get a good look at your grades in the courses you’re taking. You hovered your mouse over the “grades” tab of the website but didn’t click on it. As much as you wanted to look at what your grades were in your university, you didn’t dare to click on them. So, you got stood up and walked over to your bed. You collapsed on your bed and closed your eyes; maybe if you were to die in your sleep, you would finally feel at peace and not have to worry about being constantly compared to your cousin and siblings and your responsibilities when it came to your university.

You grabbed your phone from beneath you and unlocked your phone to check your social media, only to see that Rachel had removed you from everything. From Twitter to Instagram to KakaoTalk to Genshin. You let out a weak sigh and ran your fingers through your hair. Well, at least you didn’t have to deal with the uncomfortable conversations with her ever again—especially the ones where you’re always somehow the bad guy in these heated discourses you would have with her every few months. 

“She really removed me from everything all because I told her I didn’t know when is a good time to co-op in Genshin.” You muttered, getting up from your bed and plugging your phone into the charging chord. “If that’s what she wants, then it’s her choice. What else can I do about it?” You shrugged your shoulders, getting into your bed before turning the lights off. Even though you have assignments to complete for your classes at your university, taking a nap before starting your studies is the way to go.

At the border between Liyue and Mondstadt, Lumine and Aether walk next to one another, stopping in their tracks when they see a large crowd of men conversing with one another. Lumine, Aether, and Paimon looked at each other in confusion before slowly approaching where they stood.

“Hey, you…. Twenty-three! What’s going on, and why are all of you gathered at the border between Liyue and Mondstadt?” Aether asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah! It’s strange to see all of you from different regions gathered at the border of Liyue and Mondstadt.” Paimon exclaims, looking at the men curiously.

Diluc sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, “We’re all here gathered to speak about the relations between the regions.” Diluc says.

Lumine makes a face, “All of you are from different regions, talking about diplomatic relations between the five different regions at the border of Liyue and Mondstadt? Isn’t there a location that is appropriate for conversations like this?” 

“Wait, if all of you are talking about diplomatic relations between the regions, why are the others here?” Paimon asks, pointing over to the other men who have no political affiliations or background.

Aether points over at Dainsleif with his thumb, “Not only that, but it's between the five existing nations. Dainsleif isn’t from any of these regions, and neither are we.” 

Dainsleif crosses his arms over his torso, “I was dragged into this mess. Although, I have a strange feeling that something is going to happen.” Dainsleif mutters, his eyebrows furrowing.

“And what will that be?” Heizou asks, quirking up an eyebrow at the blond man.

Dainsleif mutters, “That, I’m not sure of.” Stroking his chin with his thumb and index finger.

“Oh, come on, Dain bro! You can’t just say something so cryptic and not give us the answers!” Itto exclaims, plopping down on the small chair behind him, almost toppling over. 

Lumine and Aether looked over at one another, giving each other questioning gazes. As if they were communicating telepathically, Aether shrugs when Lumine mouths a question to Aether over what Dainsleif has said.

Venti scratches his head, “Does today feel weird to anyone?” Venti asks, giving questioning looks to those around him.

“The only thing that I find strange about today is there are over twenty of us gathered at the border of Liyue and Mondstadt,” Baizhu says, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose while Changsheng nods her head in agreement.

Thoma looked at the scenery around him before he noticed something strange in the sky. Thoma shields his eyes from the sun and gazes up at the cloud that is now forming a funnel in the sky. Thoma nudges Ayato next to him and points at the sky, “Does that cloud look weird to you?” Thoma asks, not taking his eyes away from the strange cloud.

Ayato looks up in the sky and squints at the cloud, almost dropping his drink when he sees something plunge from the cloud. Whatever it was, it was falling into Teyvat at a rapid speed. Ayato feels his breath gets caught in his throat, feeling a painful squeeze in his chest. Ayato squeezes his eyes shut before slowly opening them. Not taking his eyes away from the speckle in the sky, Ayato points to the sky before asking, “What is that falling from the sky?” Ayato’s question grabbed the other’s attention before turning to look over at where Ayato was pointing.

Gorou moves in front of the crowd to try to get a closer look at what is going on in the sky, “I can’t tell what it is, but perhaps it's debris?” 

“Debris from what? There’s nothing in the sky other than Celestia and the Jade Chamber.” Childe commented, pushing his way through the crowd of men around him.

Kaeya hums softly, “What if it's a Celestial god that’s plummeting to Teyvat?” Not taking his eyes (eye?) off of the little dot in the sky.

Scaramouche smirks, “Good! Those annoying Celestial gods deserve to plummet to their deaths.” Scaramouche says. Venti and Zhongli gave each other a look before nodding their heads in agreement with what Scaramouche had said.

“Do archons often plummet from the sky? The object falling from the sky doesn’t look like an archon.” Kazuha mutters.

“I think we should watch and see what happens. Who knows! The little speckle in the sky can be either an object or a rejected Celestial archon.” Tighnari props both of his hands on his hips; his ears twitch with anticipation.

Zhongli hums, eyes narrowing the closer the speckle was close to meeting the ground. “That is not an object or Celestial archon.” He says under his breath.

“That’s a person!” Paimon screeches, eyes widening in fear as her eyes follow the falling person. “They’re going to die if they hit the ground!” Paimon exclaims.

Albedo’s eyes were glued to the speckle that was now getting closer and closer to the ground. “They probably died the minute they entered the atmosphere. After all, plummeting into Teyvat at such velocity can kill any living thing the minute it enters Teyvat’s troposphere.” 

“Is no one going to catch them!? Are we all going to witness someone plunge into Teyvat and die on impact?!” Paimon screeches, pulling at her white hair from stress and anxiety.

“I’ll catch them!” Lumine says without hesitation, sprinting towards the area where the speckle of person was plummeting to.

Aether’s eyes widen, “What! No, I’m going to catch them!” Aether exclaims, running after his sister, with Paimon following behind.

Lumine pops a nearby anemo slime, using the wind current to lift herself in the air, holding her arms out while trying to catch the person crashing into Teyvat. “Come on, come on!” Lumine mutters, her eyebrows furrowing with concentration. The closer the person got, the more Lumine anticipated the impact when she caught the possibly unconscious person. Lumine braces for impact and catches the unconscious person in her arms before slowly descending onto the ground.

“Where in the world did they come from!? They’re far from Celestia and the Jade Chamber!” Paimon exclaims, hovering above Lumine.

“Lumine, give them to me!” Aether says, attempting to grab the person from Lumine’s grasp, only for Lumine to dodge out of his hands with a huff of breath.

“I don’t know, Aether. They fell into my arms first; I’m pretty sure they want me more than you.” She jokes, a small smirk appearing on Lumine’s face when Aether scrunches his face up at her response.

Al Haitham tilts his head while looking down at you from head to toe, “Hm, they don’t look like they’re from this world.” 

“Another outlander, perhaps?” Cyno mutters, stroking his chin.

Xiao’s polearm materializes in his hand, “Stand back. They can be dangerous.” Xiao stated, pointing the tip of his polearm at your unconscious body.

“Don’t touch them! They don’t seem dangerous at all!” Lumine hisses, smacking Xiao’s polearm away from the both of you. “We need to get them medical attention! For all we know, they could have been injured while falling in the air.” Lumine says, cradling you in her arms.

Pantalone laughs, “Wow, someone’s protective over a strange being.” 

Lumine glares over at Pantalone before walking off with you in her arms, grumbling under her breath about how infuriating the others were. How dare they immediately assume that you were a threat just because you weren’t from Teyvat and because of how you were dressed? 

“Looks like you hit a nerve there. After all, the twins and their little floating pet are also strange beings that aren’t from Teyvat.” Dottore chuckles, shaking his head.

“Floating pet!?!” Paimon screeches, glaring at Dottore while stomping her feet in the air angrily. “Paimon is not a floating pet!” Paimon exclaims, crossing her arms over her chest angrily. 

Aether gives Paimon a look before gesturing for her to follow after him. Paimon nods her head, and both Aether and Lumine chase after Lumine, “Where are you going?” Aether asks, placing his hand on his sister’s shoulders.

Lumine turns to Aether, releasing a frustrated sigh. Lumine tightens her grip around your body, “I’m taking them somewhere safe and away from the people that see them as a threat. They’re harmless.” Lumine mutters, looking down at your unconscious face.

Baizhu walks up to Lumine, “You can drop them off at Bubu Pharmacy. While they may not have bodily injuries, it’s best to get them checked up.” Baizhu suggested.

“Fine, but I won’t be leaving them alone at Bubu Pharmacy. I don’t trust any of you to be alone with them.” Lumine sighs; she narrows her eyes at the approaching men before walking to the nearest waypoint.

You have been unconscious for a few hours; it made everyone nervous whether you were actually okay or not. Lumine lingered by your side the most, glaring at any man that looked in your direction. While the majority of the men were curious about you and wanted to check to see if you were breathing, Lumine would point her blade at them with a heated glare, just like how Xiao pointed the tip of his polearm at your unconscious body.

Kaeya shakes his head with a chuckle, “Lumine is quite protective of this strange outlander.” He glances over at where Lumine stands; her back is facing your direction while she has her arms over her chest, her sword resting at her side.

Diluc hums, narrowing his eyes as he analyzes your unconscious face. “This may be a strange question, but do you, perhaps, feel a strange connection to this outlander?” Diluc looks over at Kaeya from the corner of his eyes while stroking his chin. Kaeya cocks his eyebrow at Diluc’s question, mulling over Diluc’s inquiry, nibbling on the inside of his cheeks before looking over at where you lay. Now that Kaeya thinks about it, there is a sense of familiarity when he first saw you out cold in Lumine’s arms after she had caught you mid-air. It was like there was some kind of connection, but Kaeya wasn’t too sure if what he felt was similar to what the others had felt if they did feel some type of connection to you.

The other men slowly walk over to where Diluc and Kaeya stand; Diluc’s question not only sparked their curiosity but also made them come to a realization that when you fell from the clouds, there was a strange yet painful squeeze in their chests.

“Connection? A connection like we’re linked to them?” Albedo asks. Diluc nods his head slowly, unsure of what else to say.

Scaramouche rolls his eyes, “I think the better way to describe it would be a puppet and a puppeteer. That’s what it feels like.” 

Itto huffs, “That’s a strange way to put it. I’ve never had anyone control me or my actions before! It's all me, baby.” 

Childe laughs, “Yeah, we can tell.” 

“Can’t you guys talk quietly?! You guys are being too loud! You’re going to wake them up!” Lumine hisses through her teeth, glaring at the men in front of her. Lumine turns towards you and notices a stray tear making its way down your cheeks. Lumine reaches her hand out and wipes the tear away from your face, frowning. 

Tighnari peeks from behind Lumine, “Are they crying in their sleep?” Tighnari was going to lean over you to check to see if you’re okay, but Lumine blocks him from getting to you. 

“Lumine, you need to relax. No one is going to hurt them or put their hands on this strange outlander. Why are you so protective over them?” Thoma asks, looking at the blonde girl curiously. 

Lumine doesn’t respond. Instead, she sat down beside you and brushed your hair away from your face with a faint frown on her face. Lumine stares at you for a moment, her eyes scanning every little detail on your face. You looked at peace, but at the same time, you looked like you’d been through a lot of emotional pain in your life. Right when she was about to brush her thumb over the apples of your cheeks, your eyes began to flutter, causing Lumine to pull her hand away from your face.

Your eyes slowly opened, and your vision was blurry and unfocused. You lift your hand up and rub your eyes before looking around in confusion. Once your vision clears up and you are able to focus on your surroundings, you make eye contact with Lumine before looking around you. Your eyes widen when you see nothing but familiar faces all around you, staring down at you with anticipation and interest.

“Am I dead?” You whisper to yourself, slowly sitting up on the bed. “Wait, this is a dream; it has to be a dream! A very vivid one.” You said, rubbing your temples when your head began to throb. The men and Lumine looked at you worriedly; you threw your legs over the bed and slowly stood up. Lumine quickly came to your aid, shooting a glare at any man that tried to get close to you and help. The men shrunk back and kept their distance between you and Lumine while Aether was inching towards you and Lumine.

“Be careful, and you’re going to overwhelm and stress yourself out,” Lumine says softly, wrapping her arms around you. “You should sit down. I’ll have someone grab you a glass of water to drink.” Said Lumine; her head snapped in Aether’s direction before she motioned for Aether to grab you a drink while helping you sit down on the bed. Aether makes a face at Lumine before complying.

“To answer your question, no, you’re not dead, and no, this isn’t a dream,” Cyno speaks up. “I understand that I’m quite dreamy, but you’re not dreaming at all.” He gives you a charming smile.

Venti struts over to you, “So! Care to explain why you were falling out of the sky?” Venti asks, gazing at you with interest. “You don’t look like an archon! Nor do you dress like one.” He hums softly, looking at you from head to toe.

You look at Venti in horror, “I was falling from the sky?!” You screeched, squeezing Lumine’s hand. She gives you a reassuring rub on the back while nodding her head at your question.

“You were, but Lumine was able to catch you before your body could meet the ground,” Heizou says, stepping forward with a small smile on his face. “I know we just met, but I feel a strong connection between you and me.” He props his hands on his waist.

“Oh, so you feel it too?” Kazuha speaks up, pushing himself off the wall and standing next to Heizou. Heizou nods his head. “Interesting, so it seems like we all feel some sort of connection to this strange outlander,” Kazuha murmurs, stroking his chin while gazing at you with fascination.

You did a double take, “Strange outlander?! Listen, I may not be from your universe, but isn’t it rude to call someone a strange outlander?” 

“Well, you have yet to tell us your name,” Zhongli speaks up, a faint smile appearing on his face. “Please tell us your name, and perhaps it’ll get the others to stop calling you a strange outlander,” Zhongli added. 

You let out a soft sigh, nodding your head in agreement. “You’re not wrong there.” You release Lumine’s hand and straighten your clothes— which you’ve noticed are the pajamas you changed into after your shower. “My name’s [Y/N] [L/N], I am obviously not from your world, but it seems like I don’t need to give much explanation on where I’m from, mainly because I’m not the best when it comes to explanations.” You said, scratching the back of your neck with a sheepish smile on your face.

“Well, if you’re comfortable, do you think you’ll be able to tell us where you’re from?” Albedo asks, looking at you curiously. 

You slowly nod your head, “Yes, I can do that! But if it’s anything regarding medicine or technology from my world, I’m going to struggle to explain them.” You muttered. Everyone around you went silent and stared at you curiously; you stared back at all of them before it hit out. “Oh! Do all of you want me to tell you where I’m from right now?” You ask, eyes widening. 

“Indeed, after all, you did fall from the sky out of the blue.” Dainsleif nods his head, squinting his eyes at you skeptically.

You rubbed your temples, “Man, this is going to be complicated for me to explain and for all of you to grasp.” You muttered to yourself, trying to come up with an easy way to explain where you were originally from. “Where I’m originally from, all of you are fictional characters from a widely popular video game.” You stated, looking at everyone’s faces to see their reaction. This was as simple as you can make it because it’s true. In your world, they’re fictional characters from a popular open-world video game that you like you splurge your money on, read fanfictions of, and make fanfictions for these characters. Of course, there’s no way in hell you’ll be exposing the last two parts for everyone to know.

Xiao makes a face at you, “Are you telling the truth, or are you lying to the rest of us?” Xiao asks, crossing his arms over his chest while giving you a slight glare.

“Of course, I’m telling the truth. Two people in the room are archons; one person is cursed with immortality and is from Khaenri’ah, and Aether and Lumine are outlanders who were separated because of the abyss order and have reunited many times. Still, the other twin would much rather be with the abyss than their own sibling.” You said, looking over at Aether and Lumine.

“These things are kind of basic knowledge, though! Give us something that none of us has told one another!” Itto exclaims.

“You’re an oni, which is obvious, and you’re allergic to beans?” You said with a questioning tone, tilting your head to the side. “I don’t know if that counts, but I don’t think Zhongli over there knows that Itto is allergic to beans since both of them are from different regions of Teyvat.” You scratched your chin.

“I believe that also counts as basic knowledge,” Ayato commented. You groaned and flopped back on the bed, hitting the top of your head against the wall in doing so. You hissed and clutched the top of your head. Lumine was quick to hover above you and gently massaged the top of your head while asking if you were okay while helping you sit up on the bed at Bubu Pharmacy.

Gorou raises his hand, “Since we’re video game characters, do you have any favorite characters?” Gorou asks, tilting his head to the side. “I’m curious, that’s all.” Gorou laughs shyly, his cheeks turning bright red.

You stared at the men before tossing your arms around Lumine’s neck, holding onto her. “Lumine.” You said, patting the top of her head. 

“Oh! Lumine is your favorite character? Is there anyone else that’s your favorite character? Perhaps her blond twin?” Aether asks, sliding into the room with a glass cup of water in his hands.

“I do, but I don’t want to offend anyone.” You joked, pulling away from Lumine. 

Paimon leans in close to your ears, “You already offended one person by choosing their sister over them.” Paimon whispers, looking over at Aether from the corner of her eyes.

“Wait, since I’m in Teyvat, can I do something? I want to test something out because I’m curious about it!” You said, tapping your thighs excitedly.

Al Haitham cocks an eyebrow at you, “Well, that depends on what it is.” Al Haitham says; he crosses his arms over his chest before looking over at the others. “As long as it's not putting anyone in danger, then I don’t see why not.” Al Haitham added.

“Oh, well, uh….” You trailed off, pressing your lips together while contemplating what else to say. “How about this! All of you stand at a far distance, and I test out my hypothesis! Think of this as an experiment to see if the things in your world will affect me as well or not!” You chimed.

“As much as I love a good experiment, if it's about risking your safety, then I’m not so sure about that,” Tighnari commented, his ears twitching with worry. It’s not like you wanted to put yourself in harm's way because of your curiosity; you wanted to test something out to see whether it would affect you or not. And yes, that also meant that you do have to put yourself in front of something dangerous, but it’s for science and your curiosity!

Childe chuckles, “Oh, come on, you guys! [Y/N]’s curious! We should let them test out their curiosity, and we’ll see from there on!” Childe says, patting Zhongli and Pierro’s back.

“Fine, but if they end up getting injured or killed, I’m going after your head, Harbinger.” Diluc glares at Childe.

Childe lets out a mocking laugh, “Oh, ho, ho! Is that a promise or a threat, Mister Darknight Hero?” He crosses his arms over his chest, a smirk appearing on his face as he gazes at the redhead, raising his eyebrows at Diluc.

“Let’s not fight right now. After all, [Y/N] does want to try something out! We shouldn’t be keeping them waiting any longer.” Thoma says, getting in between Diluc and Childe, pushing the two far from each other.

“What do you have in mind?” Scaramouche asks, looking at you with skepticism.

You gave Scaramouche a big smile before instructing them all to go to the nearest teleport waypoint outside of Bubu Pharmacy. Everyone almost reluctantly followed after you, Lumine, and Aether (you were pulling the twins by their hands with excitement). What they expected was, perhaps, Dragonspine or maybe the Chasm. What they didn’t expect was for you to teleport everyone to Tsurumi Island, an island that is covered in fog.

“Why are we on Tsurumi Island, and what do you have planned?” Ayato asks, looking around the foggy island that soon cleared up after everyone walked through the gate. 

“I will be petting one of those rifthounds over there!” You point at the Thundercraven rifthound and Rockfond rifthound from a distance. “I’m curious to see if they are able to, I guess, kill me if it were to land a hit on me.” You said.

Xiao crosses his arms over his chest, “You’re insane.” He huffs, narrowing his eyes at you. You frowned at Xiao and mumbled under your breath about how he was nothing but rude to you the minute you’d arrived at Teyvat. Hearing your minor complaints, Lumine looks over at Xiao and gives him a death glare before pulling you into her arms to comfort you.

Pierro sighs, “Even if you are from another universe, you’re in ours now, and what can harm us can harm you as well. You’re not invincible to any of the dangers in Teyvat due to you being from another world. You’re in our world now; therefore, these things can harm you.” Pierro says.

Kaeya nods his head, “He’s right, and even if you want to test it out, you need to proceed with caution.” Kaeya stated.

“I just want to test out one thing, and then we can go back wherever in Teyvat that’s safe!” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “Ah, speaking of going somewhere, I just realized that I don’t have a place to stay, nor do I have mora to be able to rent out a place to stay temporarily.” You scratched the back of your head.

Diluc sighs softly, “You can stay at the Dawn Winery; I’ll have Adeline prepare the guest bedroom for you.” Diluc says, giving you a small smile. You feel your heart skip a beat from seeing the cute smile on Diluc’s face. 

You quickly looked away from the man and cleared your throat, feeling your face becoming hot under his gaze, “Thank you, Diluc! I really appreciate it.” You said shyly.

Ayato leans toward Baizhu before asking, “Are they really going to follow through with their experiment? Not only will it put them in danger, but it’ll put everyone around them in danger as well.” Ayato sighs, running his hands through his soft light-blue hair. Baizhu looks over at Ayato and then over at your direction before shrugging his shoulders in response. While Baizhu has never stepped foot onto Tsurumi Island, nor is he familiar with the creatures roaming the island itself, Baizhu made sure to be prepared for any situation by bringing a first aid kit.

Baizhu hums, “I’m not entirely sure whether [Y/N] is actually going to get near those rifthounds or not; I brought a first-aid kit along with me in case anything does wrong.” Baizhu replies to Ayato, holding up the small medical kit in his hands.

“Are you going to follow through with this little experiment of yours?” Tighnari asks, leaning up against the statue of the seven, tilting his head to the side; his ears twitch slightly at the littlest sound from a distance.

You sighed in defeat, “As much as I would love to proceed with my experiment, I believe that Pierro is correct. While I may assume that the rifthounds won’t harm me because I’m from another universe. After all, even if I’m not in your universe, it will still affect me. I’m not invincible to any dangers that Teyvat throws at me because I’m now in your world, not mine.” You said. The men around you let out a collective sigh of relief after hearing your final decision. Not only were they worried about potentially being responsible for your safety, but they also didn’t want you to get hurt, even though they met you not too long ago. 

“Oh my gosh.” You whispered, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.

Cyno looks at you quizzically, “What’s wrong?” 

You slowly uncovered your face, “I just realized that I’m still in my pajamas, and I probably look like a crazy person.” You answered, looking down at your current attire. Not only were you in your pajamas, but you were also wearing just socks and no shoes.

Thoma laughs, “Well, since we’re not going to have you test out your experiment, we should take you to go shopping for new clothes and shoes! We can’t have you roaming around Teyvat in pajamas and socks.” He says.

“Wait, am I going to be dressed like an NPC?” You cocked an eyebrow at the blond man in front of you. “While the clothes are nice in Teyvat, I don’t want to look like an NPC, nor do I want to match with other people in Teyvat, especially when I’m not part of their culture.” You said, propping your hands on your hips.

“Uh, what’s an NPC?” Itto asks; he crosses his arms over his bare chest, gazing down at you strangely.

“A non-player character, you know, like those background characters.” You said. “In your world, they all dress almost the same as one another. From the design to the color schemes and to the accessories! People here have the same design for almost every region, minus the cultural background and the color palette.” You said.

“What I’m hearing is you want us to make you something unique and original,” Heizou says slowly, stroking his chin.

“Not necessarily! I’ll figure something out, but for now, I guess NPC clothing is fine until I’m able to find some clothing that goes with my style. It’s better than roaming around Teyvat in pajamas and socks.” You said, pointing down at your attire. “Wow, I did not think this entire thing through.” You muttered to yourself, eyebrows pinching together.

Albedo chuckles, “Of course, you wouldn’t be able to plan this entire thing out. After all, you didn’t expect to be sucked into another universe out of the blue.” 

You let out a defeated sigh, “I know, but still. I feel like a burden because now I have twenty-five people watching over me to make sure that I don’t get into any trouble or accidentally get myself killed or injured.” You said before bowing to them all. “I apologize for making a sudden appearance in your world. It wasn’t my intention to appear out of the blue and almost wreak havoc on Teyvat.” You said.

Al Haitham sighs, “There’s no need to apologize for anything, [Y/N]. You had no control over this situation. There is no need to blame yourself or apologize for anything.” He pats your head lightly; a small endearing smile appears on his handsome face. You stared at Al Haitham with wide eyes, heat rushing to your face just by looking at Al Haitham and his beautiful smile. Al Haitham looked at you quizzically when you continued to stare at him with a flustered gaze. Al Haitham was about to open his mouth to ask you what you were staring at when you suddenly looked away from the Sumerian man.

“Fuck, I forgot about how handsome these men are.” You muttered to yourself; despite saying it to yourself, the others heard what you had uttered. 

Venti leans in close to hear what you said, “Care to repeat that? We didn’t catch what you’ve said.” Venti gives you a teasing smile, his aqua green eyes sparkling with humor. You lightly pushed his face away from yours, feeling your face growing even hotter from the lack of space between you and the anemo archon.

You scoffed softly, “I said that we should leave Tsurumi Island as soon as possible if we don’t want the rifthounds to spot us from a distance.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest with a small huff. 

Before one of the men could respond, everyone heard a growl from a distance. You slowly turned your head and locked gazes with one of the rifthounds. It growls and begins to make its way towards where you, Lumine, and the men stand. Without a second thought, Lumine grabs you and tosses you over her shoulders before sprinting to the closest waypoint. The men soon followed after you and Lumine. After successfully leaving Tsurumi Island without getting attacked by any of the rifthounds, everyone crashed onto chairs in the Liuli Pavilion in Liyue.

“We are never going back to that island, you hear me? I don’t care if you want to see whether you’re immune to the dangers in Teyvat. We will never go back to that island.” Dainsleif says, towering over you with a tiny glare on his face.

You stared up at Dainsleif, not saying anything. You knew that Dainsleif is a beautiful man; his gorgeous blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, his tall physique towering over you. Damn, this man is not only tall and handsome, but his beauty is breathless. You were brought out of your thoughts when Gorou waved his hands in front of your face, sitting beside you while gazing at you curiously.

You cleared your throat and nodded your head, “Understandable, we will not be returning to Tsurumi Island ever again.” You said, rubbing the back of your neck before looking away from Dainsleif. The way he looks down at you while standing over you, his broad shoulders blocking the lights in the Liuli Pavilion. Sometimes you wonder what he would look like if he had you pinned to a bed, caging you against the bed with his arms, his hair falling over his face— you immediately slapped yourself in the face to stop the thoughts.

Gorou looks at you with wide eyes, “Why did you slap yourself in the face?” He gently clutched your face and rubbed the area where you’ve slapped yourself.

“I was trying to snap myself out of my thoughts, that’s all! No need to worry; I do it pretty often.” You lied, laughing awkwardly. 

Kazuha looks at you worriedly, “Your cheek is beginning to swell up.” He says softly, looking over at Baizhu, who was immediately by your side to inspect the small injury you’ve inflicted on yourself.

“The swelling will go down in a few hours; all they have to do is put ice on the swelling area,” Baizhu says, stepping away from you.

“And where do we get ice? Do we have to call a waiter to bring a bucket of ice for their injury?” Capitano asks gruffly, leaning in his seat with his leg crossed over the other.

Kaeya chuckles, “It seems like you all forget that I have a cryo vision.” Kaeya walked up to you and cupped your face in his hands. You closed your eyes in contentment and leaned into his touch when his warm hands gradually got colder. 

You sighed happily, “This feels nice.” You said, almost falling into his torso.

Scaramouche leans in his seat, taking a sip of his tea while staring at you intently. “What’s on your mind then?” He asks, placing his teacup down on the table. 

Your eyelids fly open after hearing his question, “Pardon?” You squeaked, peeking over at Scaramouche from Kaeya’s arm.

Xiao sighs, “He wants to know what you were thinking that made you slap yourself.” Xiao says, almost rolling his eyes. 

“It was nothing! As I said, it’s a way for me to snap out of my thoughts when I stare off into space!” You said, looking away from Xiao before complaining under your breath about Xiao being cold towards you.

“Well, if anything bothers you or concerns you, please let me and the others know,” Zhongli says, giving you a small smile. “We wouldn’t want your mind to be plagued with concerns.” He takes an elegant sip from his teacup. 

“Thank you, Zhongli! If I do have any worries, I will let you all know. I just don’t want to be a burden, that’s all.” You said, gently removing Kaeya’s hands from your face. “Thank you for soothing my swollen cheeks, Kaeya! I think it’ll be fine now.” You said.

Kaeya smiles at you, “It’s not a big deal, cutie! You can always come to me if you need anything to be iced.” He pats the top of your head before walking back to his seat next to Diluc. 

“Did you just—” Childe points his finger at Kaeya, his eyes narrowing at the cryo vision wielder. Kaeya cocks an eyebrow at Childe, the corner of his lips quirking up into a small smirk. Kaeya and Childe stare at one another for a brief second before breaking eye contact. Childe was about to get up from his seat when Zhongli grabbed him by the shoulder, making Childe sit back down in his chair with a frustrated huff of breath.

Ayato swirls his tea and takes a small sip from it, slowly looking up at you. “Why don’t you tell us more about yourself? We would like to get to know more about our guest from afar.” He says, giving you a small smile.

“Well, what do you want to know about me?” You ask.

Pierro leans back in his seat, watching you closely before answering, “Tell us the general information about yourself. We can learn more about you along the way, depending on however long you remain in Teyvat.” 

You nod your head, “My name’s [Y/N] [L/N], I’m a university student, and I have a bad spending habit.” You said, giving the men and Lumine an awkward thumbs up.

“You have a bad spending habit?” Pantalone asks, the corners of his lips tilting up with amusement.

“What do you mean by that exactly?” Aether asks, leaning forward in his seat.

You laughed nervously, “I tend to spend money on a lot of unnecessary things. I don’t think before I buy anything, nor do I check the price of an item I’m buying. If I see it and I like it, I’ll buy it if I have money on me.” You reply.

“Oh! So, you’re like Zhongli, pretty much.” Lumine chuckles, pointing her thumb over at the former archon.

You nod your head, “That is correct, but I never forget my wallet.” You said. “Wait, speaking of wallet, if I want clothes that are unique and fit my taste, that means I’ll need a lot of mora to be able to afford these kinds of services.” You scratched your head.

Diluc sighs, “No need to worry; I’ll pay for it.” 

Pantalone snorts, “Oh? Does the wine tycoon think he can afford to get [Y/N] custom-made clothing without breaking the bank? Please, let me handle this one. After all, you offered to let them stay at Dawn Winery. I’ll handle the rest.” He brushes his bangs from his face with a smile.

“How generous of you to offer to pay for [Y/N]. But you don’t have to pay for [Y/N]’s custom-tailored clothing because I’m a few steps ahead of you! Save your mora for something else, Pantalone. I will handle all of this.” Childe says, placing his chopsticks down on the cloth napkin before calling over a Fatui agent from the corner of the Liuli Pavilion.

Venti leans over to Zhongli, “Does he do this often, blockhead?” Venti whispers; Zhongli sighs into his drink after hearing the nickname that was given to him by Venti.

“Indeed he does.” Zhongli nods his head with a faint exhale.

Ayato chuckles, “How generous of you, Childe. I would also like to chip in; the tailors at the Kamisato Estate will be stopping by to get [Y/N]’s measurements for their custom clothing. I hope you don’t mind.” Ayato says nonchalantly, gazing up at Childe from his teacup. 

Childe’s eyes twitch before he gives Ayato a fake smile, “Of course not, Lord Ayato!” He chokes, clearing his throat before stabbing his dumpling with his chopsticks.

“Oh! You wouldn’t mind the tailors at the Kamisato Estate getting [Y/N]’s measurements and making them custom clothing, but you don’t want me to get involved?” Pantalone asks, leaning in his seat, taking a sip from his cup while giving Childe a skeptical look. Childe gives Pantalone a fake laugh before taking a bite out of the dumplings without giving Pantalone an answer.

After eating at Liuli Pavilion, you and the others end up at Dawn Winery. You leaned against the wooden railing of the winery and stared off into space. You couldn’t tell if this was a very vivid dream or if you actually ended up in the game that you splurged your money on. You really wanted to believe that it was real, but for some reason, you couldn’t get yourself to believe it.

“Something on your mind?” A voice interrupts you from your thoughts. You turned your head to see Xiao leaning against the wooden pillar inside of Dawn Winery, gazing at you curiously.

You smiled at him weakly and nodded your head, “Yeah, there’s a lot on my mind, actually.” You said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Xiao asks; you look over at him in surprise. “It’s up to you if you want to talk about it. I’m not pressuring you to speak about what’s on your mind.” He quickly added, standing next to you.

“I’m having a hard time accepting that I’m actually in your universe. It doesn’t feel real to me at all; it feels like a dream.” You said you looked down at your necklace and began to mess with it. “Not only that, but I’m also feeling down because of the things I’ve dealt with hours prior to being in your universe.” You added, your shoulders slumped, and you closed your eyes. Should you continue talking about what happened hours prior to you being isekai’d into Genshin Impact? You went silent and shook your head, not knowing whether you should continue talking or just stop. Plus, Xiao only knew you for a few hours; it’s not like you can suddenly vent to him when he barely knows you.

Xiao raised his hand and hesitated for a moment. Xiao swallows the lump in his throat before placing an awkward yet comforting hand on your shoulders, gently rubbing your back while not making eye contact with you. Xiao could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks; he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on in your mind. When you feel comfortable with sharing, I’ll be here to listen to whatever you want to say.” Xiao slowly pulls his hand away from you, letting them fall to his side.

You chuckle, “Thank you, Xiao. I appreciate it! I’ll tell you and the others everything when I feel comfortable with it. It’s not an uncomfortable subject. I just don’t think it’s right for me to suddenly rant to you about something when we know each other for only a few hours.” You said.

“Oh, is there something you want to talk about?” Gorou asks, standing on your right side, grasping onto the wooden railing of the winery.

You shook your head, “For now, not really. I think I’ll talk about it whenever I’m ready; the wound is still fresh.” You said.

Gorou’s eyes widen, “You’re not injured, are you!?” He pulls away from the railing and turns you to face him, his eyes scanning you from head to toe.

You snorted, “Gorou, don’t worry! I’m not injured!” You pat his head while fighting the urge to pet his ears. “What I meant when I said that the wound is still fresh, the wound that I’m referring to are my emotions.” You said as you smiled at him sadly.

“O-Oh!” Gorou’s eyes widen in panic; he looks over at Xiao, who shrugs his shoulders in response. “Uh…. if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you,” Gorou says softly, his ears flattening on his head.

“Thank you, Gorou. I appreciate it.” You said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

You pull Gorou into a hug, catching the general of the Watasumi army off guard. Gorou’s ears twitch, his cheeks turning bright pink before he slowly wraps his arms around you. You glanced down and stifled your giggle when you saw how fast Gorou’s tail was wagging. He’s so cute! You pulled away from the hug and gave Gorou and Xiao one last smile before walking down to the first floor of Dawn Winery; Xiao and Gorou watched you leave before looking over at each other.

“You like them, don’t you?” Xiao asks, narrowing his eyes at Gorou.

Gorou sputters, “What?! I mean, I enjoy their company! I wouldn’t mind getting to know them more.” He scratches his ears before looking away with a red face.

The corner of Xiao’s lips curves up, “Well, just so you know, you’re not the only person that enjoys their company. It seems like everyone else likes them as well.” Xiao stated, looking over the balcony.

There you stand in the middle of the first floor, sipping on your grape juice while talking to Lumine, unaware of the gazes the others had on you. You and Lumine were laughing and whispering to one another, completely unaware of the attention you were receiving from the twenty-four men under the same roof. Even if your appearance in Teyvat was sudden and unplanned, everyone around you couldn’t help but feel this deep connection with you. They want to be around you more and get to know you more. The sweet smile on your face was enough to drive them crazy.

Lumine looks over at the men before a devious smile appears on her face. Lumine turns to you, “Hey, do you want to go to Starsnatch Cliff with me?” Lumine asks, holding her hand out for you to take. 

You look at Lumine curiously before slowly nodding your head, “Sure! What are we going to do there?” You ask, putting your hand in hers.

She shoots a wink at you, “You’ll see when we get there!” Lumine gives the men a victorious smirk before pulling you out of Dawn Winery with an evil giggle.

“Hey! Where are you taking [Y/N]!?” Aether screams, running after you and Lumine. 

Thoma turns to Itto, “Did Lumine just steal our— [Y/N]!?” Thoma clears his throat, his cheeks ablaze from his slip up. 

“Yes! Let’s go after them, or else they’ll have some romantic getaway! It should be me and [Y/N] that’s having a romantic getaway instead!” Itto exclaims, darting out the door with the others in tow.

Note: I am officially finished with this fanfic 😭 Man, I kept saying that I was going to work on a fanfic of how the reader got isekai'd into Genshin, but wasn't able to work on it until now! Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this fic, but I hope you guys liked it ;v; I'll try to update as much as I can while dealing with university assignments and weird schedules from school 😵‍💫 As I have said in my past posts (like, a lot of my past posts), I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for "Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader" and my overall taglist: @xxkatsusjinsux, @huboi, @plumpkie, @crazyrichdaughter, @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff, @patata52, @honeybedo, @thedivinepriestress, @pencil-of-ashes, @samarill, @bakuhve, @yukima, @chaosinanutshell, @emperatris-rinaka, @neilify, @ksjjkthpjm, @jaisithebird, @mouchie, @emerald-smile, @jixlem, @the-blob-fish, @jiminscarmex, @bananazzzen, @thelost-in-time, @kryloxen, @ayolk, @tomansimp, @lordbugs, @c-camellias, @chihawari, @lilliansstuff, @zhongloml, @sweethcnvy, @wolf-chan2134, @simp4-fictional-men, @dai-tsukki-desu, @trash-queen-af, @tamayakii, @stellaris999, @hispasian-otaku, @stygianoir, @crispynutduck (if you have not been tagged, it’s because you have your settings turned off for people to tag you in posts)

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon!

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Can I ask for an Emily x reader from class of 09?

Emily x GN! Reader

AN: yo w i fuckin love emily. literally the goat. tbh i highly doubt emily would date anyone who's not actually at least mildly insane so i'm gonna make reader kinda fucked up yk :thumbsup: Pairing: Emily x GN! Reader Warnings: Drug use, Codependence, Unhealthy relationships, Violence, idk just expect similar shit to the stuff in class of '09

HCs:

The two of you met when you were trying to find a plug to hook you up with some Addy's. It was pretty fucking surprising that you hadn't gotten your hands on some already, but that was mainly because you didn't want to die on the side of the road after downing some fake laced shit.

Emily was apparently a solid dealer. Sold for decent prices and gave discounts to people she liked more and it was pretty easy to ask her. You literally just walked up to her locker with a wad of cash and she tossed you a half-empty pill bottle and talked with you for a hot minute.

Somehow, you managed to win her over by bitching about Ms. Ames once and the two of you spent a shit ton of time together. Like, a LOT of time. Skipping classes together, going to the mall and selling crack, even sleepovers (that had way too much tension to be considered platonic).

After she stopped taking her anti-psychotics, she went full on batshit. All the shit about Emily being actually insane that all the bitchy kids were talking about? Fuck, they weren't lying. Emily was defending you with her fucking life. Fucking Jeffrey called you the lamest insult known to man and she practically jumped that fuckass.

Even though you guys were literally saying 'I love you' to each other like, 9 times a day, she was just your friend. Supposedly anyway.

Honestly, you highkey started thinking that you'd be 'just friends' forever until her gang boyfriend got his old ass hands on a huge fucking package of crack. You told her to sell it because some dumbass middle schooler would probably pay their life savings for half a gram, but of course, she doesn't listen.

Normally this shit would be mild as fuck but her parents were acting up and being bitchy whiny fucks so Emily had the genius idea of snorting a concoction of whatever mystery substances she had on hand and like half the entire supply of coke.

She was fucking blasted as fuck and she had the dead fish eye shit going on when she just started being weirdly clingy and she gave a violent but oddly heartfelt confession. It was like highkey concerning because of the sheer number of threats she not so subtly inserted in but it was endearing in its own twisted way.

Her words were slurred and the entirety of the little speech she gave could be summarized as the same shit she told Nicole in that one route but more sociopathic sounding???

Anyway boom I'm gonna put HC's on what it's like dating her now.

She probably wouldn't bother telling anyone that you two are dating, but it's so obvious. Like, everyone knows.

If someone says one thing that can be taken as offensive in the slightest to you, Emily will fucking pounce on the asshole and curb stomp them. She'd act all nonchalant about it afterwards.

Since a ton of the other people in the school have beef with her, if you defend her and slander the shit out of them, she'll be super happy about it.

Free drugs. She's not worried about OD'ing at all and takes smoke breaks with you all the time when skipping.

You guys have sleepovers like, everyday. Not even an exaggeration at this point. If your parents or her parents try to tell her no, she curses them out. If they're being particularly bold, she goes through with the slashing tires shit and is on the verge of actually beating the shit out of them.

If you ever get her a gift that she actually likes, she's going to constantly flex it. Get her a nice necklace or something and she'll literally never take it off.

Choose your words carefully. She's going to get pissed as fuck if you say one thing that she considers harsh. Drabble time woohoo "...Fuck, this is totally laced." Emily groaned, leaning her face onto her palm. She ran her free hand through her hair. Diverting her gaze from blankly staring at the table, she stared at you and raised an eyebrow. She opened and closed her mouth as if she lost her train of thought before giggling and leaning closer to you. "I love you. Like, I love love you. I'd kill anyone who even dares to be a bitch to you. I'd kill myself if you asked me to." She nonchalantly says. Batting her eyes, Emily firmly tugs you closer to her. She coyly twirls her hair around her finger while pursing her lips — and she's like 2 centimeters away from violently making out with you. What do her lips taste like? Xanax probably. Fuck, she's actually so pretty. "You're not gonna say it back?" She pouts. She's clearly high off her ass right now. At this distance, you notice the little minute details, like how she painted her nails today and how her mascara's just slightly fucked up. With a hesitant 'I love you too', she digs her nails into your shoulders and pulls you in for a kiss. She's acting almost rabid and she desperately wraps her arms around your torso and breathes into your lips. Slipping her tongue in, she pushes you onto the couch and pins your shoulders down. After what feels like a long ass time, she parts the kiss and takes heavy breaths while staring down at you. "Can I stay the night at your place?" AN: lmfao sorry that took a lil while my internet was freaking the fuck out. anyway this was fun as fuck thank youuuu :3

[lastoneout]

you absolutely do not need to respond if you don't want to but how does the "everything feels worse because i'm finally healing" differ from "everything feels worse because things really are that bad currently"? i always wonder if there's a way to tell them apart. glad you're getting recovering!

Imo the difference so far, is that back when I was still in an unsafe place that was making my trauma worse, between the hysterical sobbing meltdowns I just felt so....normal. I would freak out and break sometimes, but after that I would feel weirdly fine. Or even at times like I didn't have emotions at all? It was like my brain was going "there is no war in ba sing se" to protect me and keep me from freaking out too bad, and like it kinda was! My major coping mechanism has always been ignoring my emotions and shoving them all in a box until they aren't bothering me anymore. And when I was in those shitty situations that was helpful, because I needed to keep myself alive and I wasn't going to be able to do that if I was a sobbing mess all the time.

Also, the one time it got really, really bad, like I was so deep in a traumatic situation it was clearly just completely destroying me, I really did feel like that part in Inside Out where Riley's console just goes dark and none of her emotions can press any buttons. There was this overwhelming sense of dread and misery, and I could barely take care of myself at all. I stopped going to school and showering and I barely ate anything, I didn't talk to my friends, and tbh I did some stuff that I am SUPER not proud of, bcs my brain legit wasn't working at all, and it wasn't until I got out that I started feeling like a person again.

The pain of healing never feels like that. Yes, I am in a bad mental space a lot of the time, I'm depressed and I have nightmares that make me legit so depressed I spend the whole day crying, but there's like...idk this undercurrent of function and focus that wasn't there before. I can keep doing things WHILE being sad(for the most part), instead of only being able to function when I am repressing everything. And tbh it really does feel like I don't have a choice in the matter, which sounds bad but it's kinda nice? Like my brain is done repressing things and isn't going to let me do it anymore. Every time I try it's almost like there's a firm but kind voice in my head saying "no, we can't do that anymore, you have to face this, it's okay".

It's kinda weird too bcs the deeper into healing I get the less my old coping mechanisms help. Hell most of them don't even work anymore. As an example my mom got into a car wreck recently and she was in the hospital for a while, and when I found out I tried to go into my "no feelings no nonsense we have to be strong now" mode, but it didn't work?? I spent the whole time I was there crying, and like!! I actually was happy I was crying!! Because I've never been able to do that!! It's such a weird thing to be happy I'm upset but like, it means I'm making progress.

And that makes every single moment of misery bearable because I know I need this. I've needed this my entire life, and it hurts and is scary, and sometimes I do have to just zone out and play video games or spend a day in bed being sad, but I just...know it's the right thing. Idk how else to explain it, I just know.

It also helps that now I know what a happy, safe life looks like and I know it's there waiting for me. I know this work is worthwhile because I don't want to live my life the way I used to. And I am in a happy, supportive relationship that actively inspires me to work on myself and be a better person. I know not everyone has that, but framing it in a way where I am trying to be better not just for myself but for the people I love helps give me that extra bit of strength I need to keep going.

Anyway this is kinda rambly, sorry, but I did want to answer. If anyone else has any advice for anon feel free to add it on!! I have to go to therapy now lmao but when I'm done if I think of anything else I'll add it!

[blueberiiisdove]

꒰ 🍓🤍 ୨୧ ◞ 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

Hello ! Thank you for reading my rules before reading my works ♡︎!

fandoms i'm currently writing for:

Bungou stray dogs and Honkai star rail.

Note : I might write for blue lock, since I’m obsessed with the manga!! (Especially sae 🙈)

I will write : fluff, dark content (omegaverse, stepcest , yandere , stalking, cannibalism, etc.) Nsfw/Smut (ᵕ—ᴗ—), angst, etc!

I won’t write : Piss kink , Food kink , Male pregnancy , Incest , noncon , pedo stuff , feet fetish, Character x oc , character x character , Period sex , Sexual harassment or sexual assault , Adults in diapers , whipping , shoe licking , aging up minors , Male reader, Tsundere, sex during pregnancy , ace/color specified reader , sexual assault, Sexual harassment , wound fucking , etc.

New rule — if ya going to request add this heart [🤍] so I know that you read the rules (˶ ◜ᴗ◝ ˶) ♡︎ !

before u follow !!

i mainly talk about anime and honkai star rail (mostly posts or reblogs about fedya/sunday/aventurine and men bc i love them) i may annoy u, i cuss/types in caps alot. tweets in eng/Chinese/arabis, i talk about random stuff, please use tone tags when needed. i sb/hb if i feel uncomfortable or u made me feel that way without an apology, on't even try to follow if you're not gonna interact. thank u

DO NOT INTERACT !!

basic dni criteria, -14, if you’re a Isreal supporter stay 9162638828 miles away from me…fucking z*onists, not gonna interact i usually sb/unfollow those who don't, font user/don't put basic information in your profile. bbm apologist, will not follow u back if u don't have basic info , pronouns , anti or don't support xenogender and neopronouns, u hate my favs (Aventurine, Sunday, Fyodor, Sigma, Chuuya, Tecchou, etc.), racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, proshipper, pedophile, furry, you’re a minor and u post nsfw and hates on other peoples interests or mine and if you're problematic.

DO NOT STEAL, COPY OR ANYTHING OF MY WORKS

minors are welcomed in this blog as long as you do not interact with my nsfw works nor sending me thirsts. i hold no responsibility for the content you consume.

You have to be AT-LEAST 14 since I like talking to people who are older than 15 though it’s alright if 14-17 as long as you don’t request NSFW.

I write… Gn and Female reader, I don’t do Male Reader sadly. :( but I can write Female to male reader!!!

Don’t request to me Nsfw and you’re a fucking Minor.

Please don’t rush, I take time finishing requests since I have a life outside of tumblr so be at least patient for once.

I mostly write abt male characters though I can also write female characters!

I mostly post about Fyodor, Sigma, Chuuya, Aventurine and Sunday!

Wanna be my mutual?

Just ask “can I be your mutual” and i obviously can’t refuse and accept it! Or if we interacted alot than yea I’ll follow you back! ;)

How to break the mutual?

Just block me, make sure it’s hard block though my dearest!

If I ever block you, why?

Rare thing for me to do tbh, though if you’re a minor interacting with any of my NSFW posts. Than uhh that’s definitely a hard blog, and being Hypersexual or horny teenager isn’t a fucking accuse, and you know it.

Or you’re making me uncomfortable and being wired.

Please be kind :)

Hii easy rule right?? If you’re being rude or something or hating on my works, I’ll chat with you in dms for a bit. Though if you’re still being rude and aggressive = block

I’m an overthinker so I might take awhile to reply since idk what do say, selective fb and please interact w me in the tl, i have dyslexia, so please be mindful. and sb to unf — if we're alr moots and you're on my hates i will hb u, I also have problems with my mental health are getting worse each day, I rarely do skin care (I only do it once a week lol) and I rot in my bed when I get back from school or work. So plz be kind tysm bby ~(>_<~)

You may now read Masterlist

[moonjxsung]

hi baby angel🫶🏻

thank you for being literally the sweetest person ever!! i truly find so much comfort in your inbox! so i’m sorry if im annoying but i’ll never stop😅 thanks for bringing such a safe space for us💕 you’re the best! i have no words, just love!

i hope this isn’t overwhelming but imma vent a lil. bc i feel like im talking my ear off to my bf everyday so i might as well vent here to new people😂 so it’s been a tough couple of years in general. i’m kinda like super depressed and have been for like most of my life (i used to go to a psychologist but she dropped me but im waitlisted for one rn)! when i got surgery last year, i realized i don’t really love what i study. but i kept going to at least get my masters and everything was okay until this semester. im kinda failing a class (and i might be held back a year to repeat it) and i have intense impostor syndrome over it. and tbh idk if i’ll repeat it if i get held back. i’ve been thinking about taking a break after i take the tests to get my masters (which are this summer and i haven’t even had time, energy or motivation to study).

then there’s lolla! which im soooo excited for but it was such an impulsive decision. and i don’t really have much income from my assistantship job. so im not even sure i can get my hotel reservation and plane tickets until like May and that has me anxious af. this is one of my dream trips and im kinda scared for it. i don’t think i’ll cancel it or anything but i get so stressed about it amidst literally all the chaos in my life. so yeah this is trip would be my (and my bf’s) master’s graduation gift and my birthday trip as well. and i really want it to go as smoothly as possible. im kinda anxious for everything. which brings me to taking my meds again🥲 i kinda hate them bc they make me feel unproductive but i started again bc i was being unproductive anyways so at least im not as anxious anymore.

and on a lighter note, i really really want a tattoo but i can’t get another one until after lolla😭😭😭 and i had one planned for before summer but skz is first 🛐

anyways im equal parts excited and anxious for lolla! i can’t wait to see all those artists! and of course my other angel baby minho, the literal love of my life!

and this is the end of my venting session🥲 i hope i didn’t overwhelm you or anything! thank you for providing a safe space for us to express ourselves!

i love you sosososo much bb💕 have the best week and month and year! take care of yourself too!😘

-🐈‍⬛

My angel! 👼💞 First off, thank you for being so open with me about this, it’s so not easy to be this vulnerable with your emotions but this must have taken you so much courage and I’m so proud of you for talking about it and admitting that you’re not doing so great. That takes so so so much bravery!!!!!

I struggle with really bad impostor syndrome too and TRUST me when I say I’ve failed courses or had to repeat things in the past. School is by NO means an easy thing and especially not when you’re struggling with your mental health. You’re doing the best that you can given the circumstances and even if you can’t see a psychologist just yet (been there on the waitlist, it’s not easy!!) you’re bravely taking your medication again and doing something to combat your anxiety and that’s a MAJOR start. From acknowledging how you feel, to starting your meds again and even if you DO need to take a course, you can only move up from here. Feeling like you’re at rock bottom can be a good thing in hindsight because it forces you to look up at all the opportunities that still lie ahead for you- seeing results from meds, securing a psychologist down the line, even retrying a tough course or needing some extra time if you need it. None of this is a race, either, life is just a series of events and there’s absolutely no set time you HAVE to finish something. If you need to take some time to yourself or repeat a course or there’s ANY curveball thrown your way, the universe isn’t going to end because you needed a little more time. You’re only human, you go at your own pace and your story doesn’t have to mirror anybody else’s. It’s YOUR life and you’re doing pretty fucking amazing if I say so myself. Take some time to give yourself a little credit- think how many courses you’ve completed up until now, how many times you’ve reached out for help, even just how many rough days you’ve lived through. You’ve LIVED through all of that! Not just lived- you’ve THRIVED. You’re here, existing, still finding the joy in little things and doing it so gracefully and your shortcomings do not undermine any of your successes. Be proud of yourself and take a minute to acknowledge the things you’ve succeeded in along the way.

And about Lolla- May is still PLENTY of time to be able to book your hotel/flight to see the boys! That’s still like 2 months before the festival! Concerts can be really fucking stressful but don’t let this be a source of stress for you the way your job and the rest of life’s chaotic things are. This is meant to be a fun, relaxing birthday gift to yourself and in just thinking that way it’s bound to go well.

When I attended Global Citizen back in September, I hadn’t flown to New York in over 10 YEARS, and I was nervous out of my MIND. 3 days before the festival, they announced the skz car accident. I was a crying wreck. The flight there was delayed, the festival had rumors of being canceled due to hurricane weather, my sister and I didn’t get a WINK of sleep the night before and we were in TERRIBLE moods when we first got to the airport. My eyes were swollen from crying over half of skz not attending and my sister was stressing about how much money we spent considering it might be canceled anyway. Guess what we did? We planned our cutest outfits for the airport, we got some amazing airport breakfast, we sat down and we said let’s be in good moods for this whole trip. No exceptions. No more crying, no more sulking- let’s just stay positive. We planned out what to do in New York in case the festival was canceled, and every single hardship that happened after that we simply laughed about. We waited around 13 hours in line in the POURING rain to see 3racha, fought a girl in line and had to stand in wet mud to see them perform. And guess what?? We met the sweetest girls ever in line, laughed about everything, we bought ponchos together, we cheered for every artist, we got to watch 3racha and Jungkook, and I thoroughly believe everything went just fine because we chose not to stress about it even if it was the worst case scenario. I promise you even if there’s any stress involved, Lolla is going to be fantastic and you and your bf are going to have so much fun. And worst case scenario if you can’t go, tour is just around the corner! Skz aren’t going anywhere! Also second you on the tattoo bit- I’m itching for some new ink too but I think I’ll have to hold off for a bit 🥹 it’s okay! The time will pass anyways 🫶

Ending this longggg blurb with this tale of my New York trip- we left the 3racha show at around 11pm, and even though it was POURING rain, I said to my sister “let’s walk back to the hotel!” Mind you this walk was almost an hour long through the busy streets of New York, we were wearing skirts and had already been standing for nearly 15 hours at this point. But that’s exactly what we did- we walked home, stopped by a coffee shop on the way to the hotel that just happened to be open and had our first food (sorta) in HOURS. Passed by so many kind people on the way there, craned our necks up to look at the giant buildings and just dance in the rain. We took pictures of everything, beaming and on a complete high from having seen 3racha perform after such a rough day. It was absolutely magical. I vented to my sister about missing Felix, in particular, and then about an hour away from Central Park in a random dark alley, I looked down- and there’s a concrete drawing that just says “Felix”. Nothing else around, no sign of construction work or wet concrete. Just a random sign- to this day I take it as a good omen that you have to look for the good in every little thing. Walk home in the rain, laugh about the curveballs life may throw your way, give yourself some credit for at least trying. You might find a late night coffee shop and your bias wrecker in the concrete along the way… :)

All my love sweet angel. As always, I am always here for you. You’re doing just fine 💖💘💓💕💞🩷🫶

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

can u talk more about your time in americorps? if you feel like it. i'm interested in doing it but idk if i can but i want to know what it's like

yes!! i have done americorps twice at different times in my life and they were very different experiences that were what i needed at each time

i did americorps nccc at first when i was 22 and it was probably the most life-defining experience of my life. i got to live with a small group of people and travel around the country for a year and work with different organizations which is really cool for a young person for a few different reasons, for me being:

-exposure to different types of work and organizations that are doing genuinely good work within their community. When I was in the program, we did everything from working hands-on in national and international gardens and parks, construction-type work cleaning and boarding vacant houses, working as summer school teachers and camp counselors for people with disabilities, and there are more im forgetting im sure but it really shows you the opportunities out there and pushes you out of your comfort zone to the point that you realize you are capable of much more than what you may have thought

-free food/housing, which makes it super ideal for a young person with no money and gives you the unique opportunity to actually travel and build career skills for free

-this is dependent on chance, to an extent, but i had a team i loved. we were all very very different personalities and backgrounds but very open people and we built a very strong bond which i think helped all of us learn to grow up by cooking for each other, navigating very tight living situations, having fun together, working together as a team all the time, and that's something i see a lot of people still struggling to navigate even as much older adults. but on top of those skill sets you learn, it's just fucking FUN. you get to go on tons of road trips with your best friends and meet tons of new people have cook outs, go camping, have movie nights, play hide and seek in old houses. its just really really really fun if you get paired with people who are open and caring and you learn a lot from them

There are downsides. The training for NCCC is kind of grueling. It's arguably a cult. But I easily survived on that small living stipend with the housing and food coming free and if you can take the physical training and strict rules and see them as like a way of trying new things and learning new ways to live, its actually pretty fun. I learned I actually like playing most sports and am pretty athletic. Everyone breaks all of the rules (alcohol, especially) and at least at my campus, it was very very very easy to get in trouble. I got in a lot of trouble during my stint tbh we were bad kids lol but i dont even regret that because it was fun and i learned from it and the people i was around knew me well enough to fight for me to stay in. just try not to get caught because they do kick people out at the drop of the dime, and if i had been on any other team than the highest-achieving, most close-knit one, i'm pretty sure i would have been kicked out in a heartbeat. i know multiple kids who got arrested or had other like very intense situations happen during that time, so like, it is as challenging as it is fun. please be more cautious than me if you do it.

I did AmeriCorps Vista when I was 27, after several intermediate years of working at a non-profit theatre and it was a completely different experience, but also really beneficial for me, personally. But I did get lucky again, here, in finding a career path I was interested in and people who were invested enough to put me on track for a job and trust me with some key opportunities. I'd say this is something that this option for me felt comfortable because at this point i was a full adult with expectations for autonomy and independence so it was a nice opportunity to get my foot in the door in field I cared about (for me, I had realized during my first stint that I was really passionate about making sure kids had a safe space to go during summers and afterschool, so I chose to work with an org that did that). If you do good work in VISTA, and if you commit to the work and try new things, I think it's pretty common to make a career out of it. I got the opportunity, as a VISTA, to write a grant proposal for NASA (literally on a WHIM, to give me a first stab at learning how to write grants and grow my skillset), and I got it, which basically sealed a permanent position in the org for me. From there, I was able to get additional promotions, so it was like. an extremely efficient launching point to get into a career i was interested in for me. And I think this happens for a lot of people.

Financially, VISTA Is much more difficult. I saved up some money before I started, and blew threw a lot of it just paying rent. It is possible, but i know first-hand it is very very difficult when you dont have any additional financial support, so I'd recommend trying to save up a little bit before starting or finding a living situation with roommates/where youre paying very little in rent. i do think its unethical and i know they have recently raised pay rates, since i finished my term, but i doubt it's enough to live quite comfortably without saving in advance.

In summary, NCCC is great and I'd recommend it to virtually any kid who loves to travel and wants to try new things.

VISTA is a great way to get experience in a field you think youre interested in and if you do it its very important you take risks to make yourself stand make your resume as impressive as possible

[mischiefy]

have to thank @ardentroia for tagging me on this cute challenge to create your twc detectives using this adorable picrew by @eatingyarn. i love having an excuse to talk about my girls <3

from left to right, top to bottom: verena, haruka, reyna, amora

idk who to tag tbh but i missed picrew and forgot how fun it was so yall should try it too!!

some stuff abt my girls under the read more cause i can't resist and it got long heh

on the top left is verena ambrose, for the adam route. in some ways, she was born to be a detective—deduction and knowledge is her highest stat for a reason. she detests authority though, and would never have joined the force were it not for her getting in trouble w them as a young adult. honestly, everyone in the precinct was already familiar w her long before that, as she was a known troublemaker in childhood. from running a black market of banned books in her school to trespassing ("investigating!") to fist fights ("if you keep picking on my friend, i will take away your right to have hands :)") she's been a thorn in the side of school administration and law enforcement for years, especially since she was smart enough never to actually get caught or leave proof behind. as for rebecca—what's she gonna do about it? parent her? please.

on the top right is haruka kiritani, who is romancing morgan. my girl has been the ideal scientist since infancy—curious, hungry, progressive—so naturally, science and tech is her highest stat. she'd imagined ending up a researcher rather than a detective, but she's also too wary to break away from her comfort zone, which is why she stayed in wayhaven and took the detective job in the hopes that her mind will at least be put to use there. but it was mundane and boring, so meeting unit bravo? it's the best thing that's ever happened to her. it forced her to break away from what is safe and familiar and she is thankful. don't let her demure nature fool you, while she does prefer to be non-confrontational, piss her off enough and you'll never live in peace a day in your life until you're back in her good graces.

on the bottom left is reyna ibarra, my farah romancer. she's big (6 feet) and buff (combat stat is her highest and it shows) and is fully aware of how intimidating she looks—in fact, she takes great pride in it and wears clothes that make her even more intimidating, whether it be because they show off her arms or because they're sleek and sophisticated. she is a born protector, having grown up without one, and delights in making people feel safe. despite her stoicism, there's a warmth and genuineness about her that does just that. she's not much for words, but her actions speak for themselves—and if she needs to speak with her fists, so be it. all or nothing, ride or die.

on the bottom right is amora mondragón, romancing nate. playful and adaptable, she's the kind of person who commands a room just by walking into it—she dresses colorfully and in a lot of avant garde fashion, colors her hair (mostly purples and blues, but if she doesn't have time for upkeep, she lets it be bleach-blonde) and wears intricate makeup looks. it's her philosophy that the louder your presentation is, the less people actually know about what's underneath. her highest stat is people and psychology—she knows how human minds work and uses it to her advantage in order to get what she wants. not in any sinister way, mind you, but considering what she's been through, she hungers for any advantage she can get.

[chickycherrycola]

Okay, I have the same questions for you! How long have you been writing and what are some of your favorite tropes/storylines to write? Also, do you have a movie/show/book you’d consider a hidden gem or under-hyped fave??

Hello there Tower! 🎶 thanks for providing me with a wonderful distraction while I work from home today ehehehe *rubs my tiny fly hands together*

How long have I been writing:

Truly, kind of all my life? I've loved books, reading, and words since childhood - I was that quirky little kid who preferred going to the library over going to the park 😅 I wrote a LOT in high school and college, but I doubted myself too much to ever do anything with any of it. I never submitted short stories to publishing houses, never posted any of my fanfics online as a result. I took a long break from writing after graduating college and only recently got back into it, about... late 2021, I want to say? I re-read some fave old Soul Eater fanfics and got inspired to take up the metaphorical pen again, and I'm so glad I did. Now it feels like all I do with my life is write and I wouldn't have it any other way tbh!

Favorite Tropes/Storylines To Write:

Boy oh boy, where to even begin? I love romance, comedy, and the wonderful intersection of the two in the form of the ROMANTIC COMEDY, which im sure is pretty obvious given the kinds of fics I tend to post. I write as a form of escape from reality and use humor to cope and process big feelings, so writing rom-coms with a lot of heart and mature themes at their core is my jam.

In terms of tropes - my faves are the following, in no particular order: Friends to Lovers, Idiots In Love, Boy Falls First, Found Family (im actually a HUGE SLUT for this one and want to write it so badly!), Second Chance Romance, Animal Companions (i utilize this one a TON in my original fiction), Cozy Fantasy and/or stories that seamlessly weave magic or supernatural elements into the "real" world... and lastly, not really a trope, but Character Driven Stories are the GOAT.

Also... I just really love writing smut. PWP one-shots are my guilty pleasure. >:3

Hidden Gems/Underhyped Faves:

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

Books (though two of these are comics technically):

-SAGA by Brian K Vaughan & Fiona Staples: adult graphic novel space epic series full of memorable characters and absolutely gorgeous art that tackles a lot of tough stuff and has made me feel the full spectrum of human emotion

-The Tea Dragon Society by K. O'Neill: a wholesome, heartwarming all ages comic chocked full of pocket-sized dragons and the COZIEST fantasy vibes EVER

-The Locked Tomb series: idk if it counts as an underrated fave/hidden gem cause the book series has a pretty sizable and active fan base, but im recommending it anyway cause Harrowhark Nonagesimus is one of my favorite characters in all of fiction, and if you like stories that explore both romantic and platonic partnership dynamics, you should give it a read if you haven't already!!

Shows/Anime:

-D. Gray-Man: shounen anime set in Victorian England about exorcists and featuring the most Cinnamon Roll Main Character in the Universe who I will always love with my whole heart, Allen Walker

-Re:Creators: a reverse isekai in which fictional characters are suddenly pulled from their universes into the real world and tackles the question of what fiction/art mean to us humans, one of my favorite shows of ALL TIME with excellent music composed by Hiroyuki Sawano

-Baccano!: a sort of steampunk/fantasy caper involving alchemists, immortals, outlaws, gangsters, an immortality elixir, and a murder mystery on a train, told in a non-linear format that really puzzles the brain on the first couple of watches

-Witch Hat Atelier: is technically a manga but is getting an anime soon! A series about a young girl who goes to magic school to become a witch, featuring an excellent magic system and gorgeous art

Movies:

-this answer is already soooooo long so ill just recommend my favorite movie of all time, PACIFIC RIM, which if you haven't seen you should WATCH RIGHT AWAY because it has the partners trope you love! Its a 2013 sci-fi flick directed by Guillermo del Toro about kaijus invading Earth from outer space, and the giant, dual-piloted robots that humanity devises to fight back with, and was so revolutionary in its portrayal of its main female character that it created a whole new benchmark for assessing portrayal of women characters in fiction (The Mako Mori Test).

In conclusion - thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble on and on, and I do truly hope you enjoyed all this drivel! 🙏😁

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

long rant (+question) about jonathan from stranger things

disclaimer : NO ZIONISM OR ZIONIST-APOLOGIZING HERE. this show has been in my life since it came out and carried me through middle school and high school. i still love it to this day, especially s1 and s2 (i don't have that same attachment to s3 and s4 idk why. i didn't love them, didn't cry, nothing). i have been watching reactions to s1 lately and i love seeing people speculate about the demogorgon and the plot (you know by now how much i love watching reactions to my favorite shows). I was reminded of a few feelings i've had for a while now. i DON'T encourage you to watch it on netflix- no money for schnappers- and tbh i've never watched it on netflix because i never really had a subscription. despite everything, it's full of nostalgia for me and holds a special place in my heart, and you have to admit it is an amazing show (s1 and s2 only. s3 and s4 are fan-service and the scope is too big and the characters lost a lot of their charm)

ok! disclaimer over!

i have a genuine question

i know that jonathan taking pictures of that gathering at steve's back in season 1 was a plot device to get evidence for the demogorgon, and so that nancy sees it, but other than that : what the hell is his justification?

he didn't go into the woods with the INTENTION to stalk on steve, nancy, barb, etc. he went there to.......take pictures of the ground? looking for some kind of hint or footprints??

like what???

the pictures displayed on screen aren't pictures of anything. you'd think he'd go with a flashlight or something to FIND SOMETHING and have his camera ready IF he did -- but he just went there with his camera and started clicking away. to me that doesn't make sense.

also, after he heard the scream and realized it was just carol, why did he take pictures? in that short time he can't have thought "i am capturing the essence of being a teenager having fun cause that's like artistic" or something. he can't have thought "i am keeping these cause i'm so unpopular and i wish i was there and i'm gonna take dozen of pictures of these people that don't like me just so i can fantasize about being a normal teenager"

dude you were in the woods at night alone, taking some kind of risk to be honest, searching for your missing kid brother. that can't be on your mind. it would've made so much more sense if he dismissed it after he realized what the scream was, and maybe came back after he heard a strange noise coming from the pool area, when barb was sitting on the thing.

and he's TAKING PICTURES because it's unusual

and barb and the group HAPPEN to be on the pictures-- so it still seems strange to nicole (?), and she still snitches to steve inc.

steve still breaks the camera, nancy picks up the ripped photos, etc etc.

that way! jonathan is not just a creep!

what do you think? do you know what the duffers were doing?

long ranty sidenote : i think jonathan is very underrated in s1, and the writers dismiss him completely in later seasons - until they just completely write him off to focus on his goofy comic relief friend.

charlie heaton is a great actor and i think about the funeral-related fight he had with joyce a lot.

jonathan has a cool passion (photography) that is USEFUL to monster/paranormal/scary plot. so he is a great plot device in that regard. he also acts as a mentor and a great big brother figure for will, who needs an understanding and caring male figure in his life to fill his father's void. so he's also very plot-relevant in that way when will is the center of the story.

but otherwise - there's a few things i want to say about his character that i feel are important and often underappreciated details about him

he's a relatable loser who's bullied at school. maybe that's not interesting on it's own, but he is unique in the set of characters because unlike mike, lucas, dustin and will, who are bullied losers that DO have each other, he is a true loner. and that aspect of him is not handled in a "boohoo pick me" way.

his dad fucking sucks ("you're getting stronger", he struggles with his tie at the funeral, he looked in THE TRUNK OF HIS DAD'S CAR FOR WILL! i don't see enough people pointing that out. the fact that it's a possibility blows my mind)

he's forced to take on the "man of the house" role for his family, forcing him to take night shifts, drive his brother around, take care of his brother's funeral alone, take care of his mother, etc. it's a heavy responsibility and it drives him further away from "normal teenagehood" cause he doesn't have much time to think about himself, and he doesn't have anyone to reassure him, to take care of him like he takes care of his mom or brother. no nancy doesn't. count. argyle doesn't count either they had nothing in common and he was just there for comic relief

he is dealing with a 22 year old charlie heaton's receding hairline! i feel bad for him! and then the writers decided to cover it up with A BOWLCUT for s3 and s4 i was so so :( like cover it up with anything else. get a toupet and stick with the season 2 hair.

i wish the duffer brothers didn't throw a blunt at him in season 4 and run with that. they could've talked about hsi relationship to drugs in a different, more meaningful way.

also sidenote if i was attracted to charlie heaton i would 100% be attracted to jonathan. except for that hairline. maybe we could get him a trip to turkey or something and then i could read fanfics about him.

[farfrompleasant]

Friend! Sorry I missed last week!! I have been running around like a bald chicken!!! (Like all my hair has fallen out but my head's not chopped off, yet! 😂) I'm going back to Utah this month! Holy Ghost help 😭

Speaking of hair, your new profile picture!!! 😍😍😍 The coils! The definition! The xlxmf$8_!'jrkfd my God, and am I crazy or does Miss Freyja KNOW how to Pose?! Speaking of the top of your page, did you have a birthday recently??? If so, why didn't you tell me! I would've gotten you something ❤️ it was just Tia's birthday this week too & I got her a book of poetry by one of my favs, which, 🤓

Okay alright, ahem, Happy Freyja Friday!!! I'm very early 😂 I hope it partway makes up for missing last week 😉 how are y'all doing? You still taking her out for getting used to being outside with you? Once you said she used to go out places with your partner I've felt pretty confident that you'll get there with her. I don't know anything about building a bond with reptiles or how they accumulate affection but I feel like y'all must be on your way!

She shedding this week? (I hope not, poor thing, the overachiever 😂) also I Just remembered you said shedding is kinda stinky so bless you mom too for constantly putting up with it ❤️

What has she been liking to eat nowadays? Any late summer fruit treats??? I vaguely remember you mentioning this but she doesn't eat everyday right? No frozen treats in this heat either big oof

Side note last time I went to the pet store, the box that had the peach throated monitor had a couple of turtles inside. Wonder what happened to peachy friend... You like turtles??? We had two when I was very young but they were pretty neglected in retrospect 😢 I think lizards are the perfect reptile pets, snakes have no legs which is 👎 and turtles have shells which is kind of meh lol

Oh ANOTHER heat wave in CA 💀 y'all stay cool and hydrated as much as you can!!!

Abbie is resting her chin on the sun baked stone tabletop, don't ask me why she ain't bright 😅

Omg nooo, you’re losing hair or are you speaking figuratively? I hope it’s the latter because that sounds very stressful 🥺 and oh man, you are ping-ponging from Utah to Philly at this point! Bless you 🥲 and there’s no need to stress missing last week, Freyja Fridays are to be fun and flexible c;

Dhdjkskd not you gassing meee 🥰🥰🥰 but thank you❤️ I’ve been using blue magic as a sealant and styler and it’s be going well c: and our Freyby pie knows how to pose! I think she enjoys a little camera time, especially since she’s mega photogenic 🤭 ah, idk how to uhm bring up my birthday but you would be correct it was on the 29th c: and you didn’t have to gift me anything! I’m grateful for another year well spent tbh but I appreciate you getting me something and I’m looking forward to reading it 😆 I actually teared up when I got that email… you’re the sweetest, friend ❤️

Lololol, without further ado~ Happy Freyja Friday!!! We’re doing good, Freyja’s been a tad reclusive as of late but I’ve managed to take her out onto the porch c: since schools back in session, it’s been a little challenging for me to spend more quality time with her… so it’s imperative that I handle her sometime throughout my day. But I think it’ll take more time than I’d though ;p I think it has a lot to do with them raising her throughout her juvenile life? I’m unsure but I think we’re well on our way to her being more comfortable with me and traveling 🥰

Surprisingly, she hasn’t had any shedding and I’m so happy for her 😆 like, Miss Girl is always shedding!! So you can imagine how astonishing it was to realize that there was no signs of shedding whatsoever 😭 I think it has a lot to do with me not having time to bathe her last week (which means she pooped in her enclosure… it’s been a while since that happened 🥲) but I think she needed a break or something…

Freyja’s been really into worms and surprisingly diced apples. But they HAVE to be Granny Smith’s apples; she refuses to indulge in any other ones 😂 the girl is major picky when it comes to the color of food! She typically hates green food choices, and will opt for vibrant colors like red or yellow so I was taken aback. She hasn’t been in the mood for dandelion greens or collard greens so I’m thinking of trying out basil? I know she it’s edible for her buuut she hasn’t tried it yet ;p

I’ve always wanted turtles, but I also consider caring for them to be high-maintenance. I mean, I already back bend and more to cater to Freyja so I would assume I’d be doing the most for the little lovelies… still want them though 😭 I’ve always looked at snakes to be tails with a face but they’re kinda cute 🥰 and surprisingly, they’re rather shy c:

I would say we’re trying, but I’m the one that’s trying!💀 but I will make sure that we will stay hydrated ❤️ and I’m unsure of the weather in Utah, but make sure to stay cool and hydrated, friend 🥰

ABBIE!!! She’s sooo cute 🥰 bathing in the sun, basking on the stone top 🥺 you know what, dogs and beardies are too similar because Freyja would definitely pancake in this situation 😂

[hobidreams]

damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

[s4toryuu]

OMG!! I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK FOR #4EVER TO REPLY 😭

but as for your question, we don't really use umbrellas here for anything other than rain. at least, that's what i think? but maybe i'm biased, haha! i don't even own an umbrella LOL

aaah, i've always wanted to visit the coast!! at least once in my life, hopefully!

we don't usually get that much snow here, but this year has been kinda wild ngl... THE SNOW OUTSIDE MY HOUSE WAS UP TO MY THIGHS??? how does that work 🥲

but ooh!! y'know what, i'm gonna take a gander and sayyyyy... hm. hmmmm....

i wanna say psych major! idk why, but that answer feels like it's calling to me 🤔 hmmm...

hehe, BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS VERY SWEET!! i love hearing from you! it's always nice to know you're doing well and seeing you on my dash :) by the way! how's your job been? i hope you haven't been stressing and have been remembering to take care <3

- b! anon

HI THERE sorry for the late response as well… when it’s not break during school I actually feel like I have no time for myself 😭 I made it a goal to manage my time better but my major and social life just doesn’t make it possible tbh;;;

don’t worry about late responses!! i will always be later especially during school days

and wow not owning an umbrella is surprising but i guess it does make sense!!

I have a couple friends who are psych majors 👀

but hello snow that high is insane to me 😭 it sounds dangerous and honestly I never really considered the dangers of snow cuz I always just think of like cute city snow

I hope it’s all melted now wherever you are LOL even tho winter won’t be over until like end of march sighh

[transboysokka]

How did that relationship with a mutual end?

okay sooo SUPER sorry if they end up finding this (they wont but still) and also im sure they NEVER think about it anymore but like i said this is tragically the only relationship i was in and i was SUPER in love lol

idk how much of this i shared before but im just gonna be super honest about it even if it makes me sound really bad but i was like... 21 at the time? lol

but here's the drama (be careful, it gets a little triggery with like. consent and stuff)

So I fell fast and hard in love, right. High school and college were SUPER rough for me so I think I was just glad to get attention from ANYONE even if it wasnt gonna be a perfect fit???

distance is never easy. from the getgo we lived like 5? hours away from each other and i was the only one driving (way too often) to go see them. i went like every weekend even though i had classes and homework and exams and stuff. My friends were telling me I was so dumb and I was like nooooo it's fine

ALSO okay so they were like in the middle of recovering from a major eating disorder and my friends were also like "hey this is like a bad time for you both to be doing a relationship then?" and i was like NAHHHHHH but also they were super private about it and it like never came up AT ALL and so

their dad made them move home like a month into our relationship so they could continue their recovery (totally fine and normal move right??) but i was like THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL and so i used a credit card to buy them a flight back over to spend a weekend with me ooooof

even then like there were some issues like it was the first time my friends met them and they were all "nah this sucks" and they were like super disrespectful to my friends and i just laughed it off

this is also the first time consent issues came into play like we LOVED making out lolllll but tbh it was all i was even interested in bc the medication ive been on my whole life kills my libido (this is WAY TMI IM SO SORRY) BUT we were messing around and they decided to give me a huge visible hickey in a place i had sAID i was totally uncool with

but it was totally fine right? because i loved them lollllllll

things were already also kind of weird here bc i was like "uh i think im a boy actually would u still love me" and they were like "i think im a girl actually but also a lesbian" and then we jUST KEPT MAKING OUT????

also they like... made me introduce them to my family??? when i was totally not ready for that and while we both IDed as nonbinary we definitely came across as a lesbian couple which i was NOT prepared to deal with my family about

i introduced them as a friend but they were super touchy and clingy and possessive and my mom was like 'oh so you're dating' and it was actually the worst most embarrassing thing ever

okay i know this is getting long but anyway they went back home again and heres where it gets REALLY spicy

im planning to present at this conference with my mom in another city and it's kind of a huge deal for us. i get a call from [ex] that their dad is going to [I don't remember the word for it but it's when you can legally send someone to a psych hospital against their will because it's for their own good] and MY DUMB ASS was like IT'S OKAY IM GOING TO BUY ANOTHER FLIGHT TO GET YOU OUT OF THE STATE AND COME HERE TO MY CONFERENCE

so lol that happened

we got a hotel that night! uhhhhhhh more MAJOR CONSENT ISSUES and tbh we're both at fault because i could have done a MUCH better job communicating what i was feeling but yeah basically Trauma happened to me

OKAY HERES THE KICKER. I THEN DRIVE THEM SIX HOURS TO ANOTHER CITY to fly out bc that's where they wanted to fly out from????

we said our 'i love you's and 'bye's

they called me THAT NIGHT and said 'hey lets take a break' and i NEVER HEARD FROM THEM AGAIN LMAOOOO

like was that probably the best thing for both of us YEAH but BOY i cried for days and i knew it was because of the sex lolllllll ANYWAY SO THERES THAT STORY

[parm4carm]

Love you, Jade ❤️ And though I know it's not the most important thing right now, speaking out and often is more important, I do hope you are okay ❤️

hiii oh my god has it forreal been weeks since you sent me this?? i swear i just saved this to my drafts three days ago .. the passage of time truly fries my brain

first, this is so sweet of you to send to me and i'm so grateful that people still check in on me when i'm quiet online <3 i know i am a veryyyyy unreliable presence here but i really do appreciate all the love and i'm sending it right back to you <3

you've kind of given me the perfect jumping off point to just throw a lot of updates and ramblings in one spot bc truthfully i do not feel right posting normal posts and taking up space with things that are trivial in the grand scheme of things. i genuinely don't have the brain capacity for much else these days besides keeping up with palestine/congo/sudan etc related updates + the occasional few hours where i can watch a movie or a show without feeling guilty

(general life update dump below so beware bc i talk a lot)

brief mental state check in but i am not doing well! not just with the weight of the world but with everything else in my life lmao. pretty much everyone who knows me knows that the holidays/the winter are the roughest months for me so i'm usually radio silent :/ this year has been... so rough and i don't know why every year feels worse than the last but it really truly does! i'm particularly lonelier this year and it's honestly my fault. idk how to reach out to people when i'm so isolated tbh i feel like a burden at all times especially now that most of the people i used to talk to daily online and irl are doing way better than me and i'm just. always stuck here in this really shitty space i can't seem to get out of no matter how hard i try

i don't talk about my problems a lot online but like. after losing my childhood pet and then getting accepted to two different programs in one year (grad school and community college) and having to drop out of both AND dealing with a decline in my mother's health AND my grandmother's cancer scare AND my own financial issues AND unemployment i'm just exhausted. because of all of this i truly don't know how to function like a normal person or make friends or keep friends anymore i'm just miserable tbh

okay i know this is a hard pivot, but i thought i could just compile things that have brought me a little bit of happiness that i haven't talked about here! it's all on me to feel like this, but i have intense guilt about posting anything not related to current events, so this is my way around that! so.. enjoy i guess <3

personal stuff (you can send me asks to explain more if you want)

i beat my new years' resolution of watching 365 things this year – i'm up to 500 logs!

a lot of new tv (28 total, entire shows, rewatches, new seasons, miniseries, and documentaries included)

fixated on kpop this year and listened to 30 groups whole discography! i actually counted and it was exactly 30 lmao ask me ab my fav groups and biases if you dare

started drinking tea every day :)

redecorating my apartment and it's so much cozier now

i've become more of a snoopy/peanuts fanatic :)

to build on the new years resolution, i've added quite a few horror franchises under my belt :) my horror tag on letterboxd is roughly 250 now!

i think i'm finally breaking my lifelong nail biting habit??? fingers crossed!

buying more things secondhand and feeling way better about it! mostly clothes and dvds but me and my partner are huge fans of knick knacks

have tried a lot of new food this year :) and am cooking new recipes a lot more too!

went to the beach for vacation for the first time in ten years <3 went to this cool little record store and got a band recommendation from the owner that's now one of my underground favs!

celebrated ten years with my partner this year and although it's been such a rough year for the both of us and we're not nearly where we ever thought we'd be, we're more solid now than we've ever been!!! i really would not have made it through this year without them

honestly this year has been a blur 90% of the time so there's obviously been more little things that make me happy but! it's been a big year for consuming media bc i don't have much energy for creating anymore unfortunately