#if I want to cry over a fictional couple made up of a dead dude from medevil times and the record holder for 'longest amount of time pining'

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

"Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men keeps popping up in my lists and it's not like I don't like the song, but it's the ONLY Of Monsters and Men song it will pull up on its own and it won't even pull up their other stuff when I look under where it shows me stuff related to that song. I like Of Monsters and Men, and I like that song, but c'mon.

It's probably just trying to protect my Merthur-shipping heart from "King and Lionheart" though, because that song does kind of fuck me up and that is a song I will listen to on repeat. So, I guess I can't blame it too much.

[forestwater87]

Okay, for all of you who don't feel like watching Miles RP as David

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Context may be added if I feel like it. Reactions are my goblin brain screaming. All of these came from a discord so if they don't make sense . . . see goblin brain comment.

(That link should start directly at the point where he becomes David; if it doesn't, skip to 1:40:33)

In roughly chronological order:

David: "Teachers are sort of like camp counselors during the rest of the year."

The thing is David is absolutely up his own ass enough to think this.

David: "Trail mix is expensive!"

^ said to show he understands why not everyone can donate to the charity for teachers. Very adorable, am crying.

David's "ooooh" seeing one dude was extremely non-heterosexual. Fucking bicon. Him losing his mind that one of the arenas is called "Survey camp"

David: "A person's hitting me -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry this is just pretend!"

This is just canonically how David plays video games. Either this or he's unwilling to commit violence at all, but I'll defer to Miles.

David: "That's very goat of you!"

Spencer: "Is David popular amongst his campers?"

David: "I like to think so! There's only 3 staff members, so I'm definitely in everyone's top 3."

"That also means you're in the bottom 3."

David: "Well, I choose not to think of it that way."

(I have to keep adding reacts so you can tell when one quote ends and another begins. Judge not lest ye be judged)

I think the other person in the stream is named Spencer. Friend of Miles. I know literally nothing else about him and am not even confident on those facts.

Every time he says something so non-David in his David voice I die: "I have a lot of grenades!"

David: "Oh my goodness, would you look at this beautiful scenery! Can we hike that mountain?"

This is so goddamn cute. I am dying. Miles looked at his fans and said "they will eat tonight" and I am so relieved.

David: "Not to be a couple of Greedy Garys, but I say we get this [care package] and then I'll drop another one!"

The fact that Miles is grinning like a lunatic the entire time is very good. (Also if this is formatted badly then I'm sorry but not all that sorry. I'm doing my best and David would be proud of me.)

David: "Didja getim? Didja getim? didja getim? How 'bout now?"

Spencer: "I didn't get 'em."

David: "Well, you tried your best and that's all that matters."

He calls healing "a little health kiss." I'm not sure why but it's very important to me.

David: [while jumping to murder someone] "Hi! Scuse me!"

(i just need something to separate the quotes okay)

David: "Well you know what gang, we did our best. You don't always win the 3-legged race. You did a wonderful job!"

Then there's a bit where they talk about Spencer's time at summer camp:

David: "ooooh hand-holding's pretty serious!"

David is too pure.

David: [dreamily] "Did you fall in love, Spencer? A summer love?" [puts hands up to his face]

Then there's the fact that David/Miles gets to pick where they play each round, and he keeps insisting on going to the one called "Survey Camp" every single time because it has the word "camp" in it.

David: "Now, I don't like to disagree, but . . . I was thinking we could go . . . to Survey Camp!"

Spencer reminds him that technically since David's the one with the power to choose, his opinion is the only one that matters:

David: "Everyone's opinion matters. And my opinion is we're going to camp."

David just steamrolling over Spencer's interests is very good. There are these little selfish nuggets sprinkled in among the wholesomeness that really capture the full David experience.

David: "Well, he's climbing up . . . he's coming my direction . . . oh, he looks scary . . ."

Spencer: "Is he coming towards me?"

David: "Oooh, I don't know. I'm dead!"

The positivity is relentless. I think Miles said on twitter afterwards that this whole thing was exhausting and I can see why. Being David is no picnic . . .

David: "I have a question: do we have to shoot each other in this game?"

And then a few seconds later:

David: "I'm just wondering if maybe there's a way we can, you know, help others. Talk through our issues."

And a few seconds after that:

David: "I was asking if they wanted to be friends in the game!"

I believe that moved killed him, too. Precious.

Also we're interrupting the real Miles!David content to share something my friend suggested to me while I was watching this and giving her quotes; she said that maybe David just calls everything camp to make life more fun, and then sent me this imaginary exchange that actually killed me all the way to death:

David: Gwen Santos would you go to marriage camp with me

Gwen: I'm going to have to change this story when I tell everyone

It made me laugh quite a bit.

Anyway, back to the video!

Spencer: "How do you sign up for [Camp Campbell]?"

David: "Well, um, you can fax, uh, an application to CameronCCampbell@hotmail.realwebsite.noreallyrealwebsite.com. And . . . you can know that myself and Gwen and Quartermaster and sometimes Mr. Campbell will do our best to make sure they get what they need! Which more than anything is love and support. And friendship."

Spencer: "How many dollars does this camp cost?"

David: "You know . . . it is, um . . ."

And then the conversation switches subjects and David breathes a sigh of relief.

Very shortly after this he changed his character from a woman (she was wearing a yellow shirt, which he liked because the campers wear yellow shirts) to "a Forward Scout with a positive attitude!"

"I like his style."

Spencer: "Does everybody abuse David verbally?"

David: "You know, sometimes people have harsh words. Mostly Max, and Neil, and Gwen, and Quartermaster, and Nurf."

Spencer: "Did you just list almost everyone?"

David: "Mmm . . . I'd say maybe a third."

Poor David. Somebody please protect him.

Spencer: "Yeah, I think people abuse David. I get that vibe. Or at least, I feel it in my heart. Like I wanna put ants in your bunk or something."

David: "Well, I think that says more about maybe some of the hurt you're carrying with you. And sometimes when people don't know how to process that, they act out. Do you want some trail mix?"

David just said his favorite part of trail mix is the raisins which is so cute. "They have a little bit of salt on them, which isn't typical for a raisin."

And he keeps telling chatters to watch their language.

David: "Who is my favorite camper? Aww, you know I couldn't pick a favorite! . . . But I know who has the most potential, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

I KNEW IT!!!!!

I've been saying for years that David doesn't have a favorite and gravitates towards the ones he thinks need him the most AND I FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT!

David: "Well you know, Gwen swears and that's okay."

shipping intensifies

David: [gasp] "The moss is growing on the north side of the rock!"

Every time he nerds out about weird shit in the game I gain 3 seconds to my life.

Spencer: "Did you get teabagged?"

David: "What's that?"

Spencer: "It's where somebody places their most intimate bits on you for . . . friendship."

David: [softly] "Oh, I don't know about that."

Also David confirms that the whole show has been a single summer, so please see the "vindication" gif above.

David: "I know a lot of fun camp songs."

Spencer: "Sing 3."

David: [starts singing] "Bum-bum-bumblebee, bumblebee tuna, I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna . . ."

Spencer: "Okay, please stop. I immediately regret this decision."

David: "Max said the same thing! One of my campers. And, uh, and my co-counselor, Gwen."

He's literally made of sunshine. I would die for this fictional man.

Spencer: "Are people at camp against their will? I feel like they are."

David: "No! . . . They don't always like it immediately, but it grows on them."

Spencer: "It sounds like they're there against their will."

David: "Well I just think that's a negative way of looking at it."

FWIW Spencer makes an excellent foil to David. Not as aggressive as Max or as dour as Gwen, but he brings a very . . . like, straight-man energy to the conversation. Like how a normal person would react to David IRL. I'd enjoy seeing these two interact more.

Spencer: "It's like your overpositivity is wanting me to balance it out with negativity."

David: "You know, I feel like that dynamic's pretty popular with me."

eeeeeeee <3

And the last one that I personally found noteworthy:

David: "One day we'll be able to afford safety equipment. Until then, we'll just have to deal with Quartermaster's Ropes Course. And a lot of pillows."

There's point near the last 20 minutes where either it got kinda boring or I just got too tired to keep track. But if there are any quotes you think I missed, please share them! This was a really lovely bit of content to feed our starving maw, and I appreciate Miles very very very much for taking one for the team.

[ssson-of-sparda]

A TRIP TO THE BEACH - PART 2 (DANTE X FEM!READER)

Summary: When Dante shows up, Patty finally learns how things ended between Y/N and him but that's not the kind of ending she likes. (Part 5 of A Tab To Erase) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Tags: Dante is Tony Redgrave / Love / Angst / Blood and Gore / Minor Character Death / Violence

Author’s note: This is the end! I hope you enjoyed this fan fiction as much as I enjoyed writing it. I can't wait to read your thoughts about it. Is it the end you expected? How did you imagine it? Tell me everything. I'm all ears

Patty dared peeping from above the headrest of the couch when the woman opened the door, definitely curious to see the two adults’ reactions when they would finally see each other – though she still feared Dante’s wrath a little.                 But when she finally saw them face-to-face, this couple she had been imagining – and rooting for - for weeks, she didn’t care about her friend’s anger or disappointment - He would definitely thank her later - . They looked so perfect, like coming from an episode of one of those telenovelas she loved so much. Dante was towering Y/N perfectly and she was so pretty. And the lighting.  Gosh “Like a scene from a movie.” She sighed. If only she could read their minds right now.      “There you are, young lady!” Dante declared with a menacing finger as he entered the house            “Hi Dante! What are you doing here?” Patty tried to play innocent but there was something in her voice that couldn’t fool Dante. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I never thought this annoying little brat would dare come here … or steal my stuff.”  “That’s alright, Dante. We were having fun actually. And at least, that girl dared visit me … unlike someone else.” Dante definitely felt that sting and he knew he deserved it. “How long has it been?” “A while.” He said, pretending to be casual even though he had the right amount of years and months in mind. “And this day never happened. Come on, Patty. Let’s go.”             No, no, no. This couldn’t end like that. Patty thought. Not after all this time. “Can I at least finish my tea please?”                  “ I’ll buy you a tea on the way back to Red Grave. Let’s go!” Dante insisted as he came closer to the girl to grab her by the arm and drag her away from Y/N’s place as fast as possible. “Right. Like I’m going to believe you. You never buy me anything, even when you owe me.” Y/N smiled while Dante sighed deeply. “Damn it.”                  “ Plus, you still owe me a trip to the beach.”   “ Alright. I’ll take you to the beach. You happy? Now let’s go.” He tried to pull her from the sofa but the girl resisted.             “ Or … you can let Y/N finish her story.” Patty suggested. Dante glanced at Y/N whom he hadn’t seen go to the kitchen to prepare him a strawberry sundae. “Actually I’d prefer that. Y/N can you continue your story, please?”   “ Well, maybe Dante can tell you so that you can finally erase his tab while I’m making this devil a strawberry sundae. Topped with a cherry and two pink wafers, is that it?”           “I don’t know. You’re the pro.” He had a faint smile at her that Patty noticed and beamed at. About time. “Where did you stop you damn story?”

A TRIP TO THE BEACH - Part 2

Dante was sitting at his desk, eyes closed, a magazine covering his face while he was listening to some good old school metal on the jukebox he had just acquired when the damn machine starting to sizzle and shake. “You gotta be kidding me.” Dante complained and, with a deep sigh, got up from his chair to kick the jukebox like Y/N had once taught him. “Funny how those machines always need a good kick to work.”          When he thought of his beloved girlfriend and realised how late it was, he wondered how the hell she had not arrived yet. It was very dark outside and the clock was striking one. The restaurant should be closed by now and Y/N should have been in his arms at least an hour ago, naked preferably.

Not sure Patty needs to know that.

Worry tied Dante’s stomach in a knot in spite of his sleepy brain screaming at him not to be paranoid. “Relax, Dante. She’s probably helping clean the kitchen or something”, he told himself     And yet, tired of repeating this sentence over and over again in his head, he decided to grab his coat and head to the diner. Better be paranoid and look like fool rather than wait here and worry one more second. Plus, he had waited long enough already and he had made a fool of himself in front of Y/N more than once. So what was one more time, huh?

But when Dante arrived at the restaurant and found it empty and dark, he wished he looked like a paranoid fool. But he was not paranoid and he was not a fool. He was terrified and alert in ways he hadn’t been for years. “Please be okay.” He whispered as he entered the place, feeling once again like a little boy hidden in a cupboard, crying for mommy and his brother. A ghastly feeling for someone who had spent years burying his past deep in his armoured heart as a promise … a dying wish.

Dante climbed the stairs quickly, very quickly and yet not quickly enough to his taste, only to stop and freeze at the sight and smell of warm blood on the wooden floor. But there was not just iron and salt flowing to his nostrils, there was this stench, rotting and disgusting, a stench only his demon sense could pick but that would soon be unbearable for humans too, he was sure of it. The stench of decaying corpses.

The son of Sparda never really liked Y/N’s parents. He actually lost almost all sort of respect for them the second they insulted him and made him understand they would never approve of him or of his relationship with their precious daughter. But when he saw them both, drenched in blood and completely ripped apart, their broken bodies lying on the floor of in their bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel sadness and compassion especially for the woman who was standing in the corner of the room, petrified and in tears, her small feminine frame strongly hold in a demonic grip. A nightmarish vision that had been scaring Dante for too long.               “Took you long enough… Son of Sparda.” The demon said with a calm and yet menacing cavernous voice that would make anyone tremble in fear. But that wasn’t the sound of his voice that made Dante afraid – because yes he was afraid –

You? Afraid? Rrr, shut up!

It was the sight of the woman he loved so close to that monster’s sharp claws.           The half-demon squinted at the devil before him, at his cloaked silhouette hidden in the darkness, trying to hide his fear, turning it into a nonchalant and over-confident mask he knew how to wear better than anything else (except his red leather jacket) but that somehow didn’t look as convincing as usual. “I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong guy, pal. Sparda may have a son. But that's not me.”          “Tony, what’s going on?” Y/N’s voice was shaking just like the rest of her body.            “It’s alright, baby. I’ll get you out of here. I promise.” He had too.        “You can try and pretend to be someone else. But I know who you are. Dante, Son of Sparda. And soon, your blood will flow for what your father did to my master.” Usually, that same old routine would have made Dante scoff and slice that creature in two for he was used to demons coming at him with pathetic threats and silly villain monologues. But today, what was at stake was simply way too important for impulsiveness.           “And who would that master be?”         “The one true king of the underworld. Mundus.”

Dante had heard that name before, long ago, in something that was now a long-time memory. Mundus was the villain of his favourite bedtime story, the one his father would always tell him and Vergil before going to sleep, when they were nothing but kids tucked in their beds.            Mundus. He remembered how that name would make him fidget and jump in anticipation and how his big brother in the bed under his would always kick him through the mattress to make him stop wriggling like a hyperactive goldfish out of water.            Mundus, the so-called Prince of Darkness Sparda had cast away and locked in the underworld a long long time ago to free the human world from his diabolical tyranny. Never thought he would have ever heard about him in another context though.

“Oh. That dude. Thought he would be dead by now… like you soon will be”    “Cocky, just like that filthy betrayer Sparda.” The demon smiled, showing short pointy black fangs that yet shone in the dim moonlight. “And in love with a human, just like he was. It would be a shame …” He grabbed a strand of Y/N’s (colour) hair to toy with it with a vicious smirk, making the young woman shiver even more. “… if something were to happen to her the same way something happened to your slut mother” Dante felt his jaw clench tight and his nails pierce the flesh of his palms. The rage, it was slowly yet surely eating at him.               “Don’t you dare talk about my mother! And don’t you dare lay even just a finger on Y/N!” Dante growled, not realising he had just given his identity up. But the black demon did and with a satisfied smile, he cupped Y/N’s face in between his vile sharp claws to burry his long nose in Dante lover’s soft hair and smell her human perfume that was oh so exquisite to him. An intended provocation and an effective one.      “How chivalrous! How noble! I’m sure your father would have said the same thing…” Dante frowned and clenched his fists even tighter, trying to stay put and in control, trying desperately to resist the powerful will to pounce on that demon and impale him on his sword and spill his guts on the floor. He knew he had too because he knew that the reaction he thought so much about was exactly what that monster wanted.           He was trying to infuriate him, to make him reckless and stop thinking rationally so that he would have him at a possible advantage when he let his rage have the best of him. Provocation at its finest. A strategy Dante knew all about. “… had he been here when I and my fellow demons tore her apart.” Yes, he knew all about it and yet... “Mundus says farewell, hybrid filth.” He suddenly stopped caring about what he knew.

Dante jumped and with a scream, unsheathed his sword to slash the arm that was holding Y/N. An impulsive move, a mistake he realised only too late, when the demon pierced the soft neck of the one he loved the most with his sharp claws in an attempt to protect himself from the demonic blade.       Everything went so quick to Y/N and yet so slow to Dante. She didn’t scream. She didn’t even have time to realise what was going on or to process the sudden pain. She only understood something was wrong when her body hit the floor and she saw Dante’s icy blue eyes widen and stare at her in horror. Then she felt the blood, her blood she was quite certain of it, running along her pale skin covering it in shades of dark red.                   Dante screamed like never before, like no human could, so loud the walls trembled and the demon slightly bowed down in fear. He screamed with an anger, a rage he didn’t know he was capable of, something so deep and passionate he never thought was in him. Something fiery … something … demonic. It felt like his skin was burning, like there was a ravaging fire spreading, growing in his body, menacing to burst, to combust him. And it almost did. It almost did but it stopped just when Rebellion sliced the head of the demon open, spilling his brains and his blood on the walls behind him.   Then, there was a relief that all this was over. The fight. The fire. The fear…  No not the fear!

“Y/N” Dante ran to her and quickly pressed her body against his. His hand found her neck to apply pressure on her bloody wound. She was barely conscious but she was still with him. “I’m so sorry, baby. Hold on, I got you.” He kissed her forehead. It was so cold against his lips. “You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

Dante stayed by her side for what seemed hours to him, holding her tight against him, trying to keep the weakening life in her safe, when finally blue and red lights began to flicker in the bedroom. What happened next was so blurry. All he could make out were a group of men dragging Y/N from his embrace, saying they would take care of her and that he had to let her go. He didn’t know how he did it but he eventually obeyed those men, in spite of his arms trying to reach for her.         He followed them- followed Y/N- to the crowded street where the nearby residents were crammed into, whispering and trying to take a peep at what was going on in this usual very quiet neighbourhood. But he didn’t care about them or their judgmental looks. All he cared about was Y/N being taken away in an ambulance.   The paramedics didn’t let him in. And in spite of how much he wanted to fight their decision, Dante chose not to. He couldn’t delay them. Y/N’s life depended on time and too much had been wasted already.

But he found her again, like he would always find her, and he spent days waiting for her to wake up, waiting for her beautiful (colour) eyes to open again, for her sweet voice to say she was alright, his hand holding hers in an eternal grip that only her awakening could break, days in which he had to think about what happened, about what could have happened and what will happen. So many hypothesis, each one worse than the last.       And when Y/N finally awoke and, with a soft smile that bear no grudges or hatred, said. “Hey handsome.” He did what he thought he should have done days ago. “We need to end this.”

***

Patty’s eyes were glowing with tears as she was staring at Dante without blinking. This was certainly the saddest love story she had ever heard in her entire life. Even Bolero in Spring had never made her feel so much. “You can’t do that!” She declared as if in denial, as if she could change the past. “The story can’t end like this!”    “But it is not a story, Patty. This is not some television show made to satisfy a bunch of hopeless romantic little girls. It’s real life. And real life is tough and …” Dante looked at Y/N, at her sad eyes and at the scar she was trying to conceal under a red silk scarf. “What’s done cannot be undone.” “But you loved each other!” The girl was almost furious, shaking her head nervously.              “Patty.” Dante said calmly.       “And you still love each other, I’m sure of it. I can tell by the way you both tell your story.”   “Patty.” Dante repeated with insistence this time.     “I won’t have this ending! No way!” She shouted with a deep frown.                  “It has already ended!” Dante screamed and Patty froze. He had never screamed at her, never in his entire life, even in times when she was incredibly annoying. He had never screamed at her. “It has ended. And neither you nor anyone can change it, okay? If it doesn’t please you, you can leave, wait in the car and go back to your mushy love series.”

There was a pregnant silence in which Patty stared at Dante with a disappointment he had never witnessed. “Y/N was right. You know how to fight demons. But you don’t know how to fight YOUR demons.” And she got up and left the house to do exactly what her beloved friend had told her, meaning wait in the car to go back to mushy love stories, leaving Dante and Y/N alone in the living room with nothing else but a heavy discomfort.

“I’m sorry for making a scene.”                “ Well, you always had a flair for the dramatic.” They both had a conspiratorial smile similar to the ones they used to share when they were younger except it was fainter, sadder. “ She read the letter, the one you wrote me” Dante said staring at his hands in discomfort. He couldn’t look at Y/N, not with all the memories rushing in his head.                  “ I figured.” But she looked at him, excepting deep down he would say something, anything about what happened.”Never thought you would have kept it though.”               “ Why not?”       “ You never replied.” And there it was, that disappointment Dante well deserved.   “I did reply. I just never sent the letter.” Y/N's eyes slightly widened at this unexpected confession. What did he mean by that?              “Huh, words of advice. After writing a letter to someone, you need to mail it.” She declared sarcastically, not really knowing how she managed to crack such a joke. Was it a joke? Maybe, because Dante laughed a bit.       “ I had no money to buy a stamp.” The girl scoffed. She knew the man before her all to well to know that this was “Bullshit.” But she had missed it, missed him.  “What did it say?”          “ Same crap I told you at the hospital. How much I was sorry and … You know what? … There.” He opened his red coat to take a crumpled letter from his inside pocket. It was unsealed, stamped –obviously- and her name and address were written on it.                “ I hope Devil May Cry will never provide delivery service cause this has clearly arrived way too late.” However she took it in her hands, gathering all her inner strength not to tremble as she could feel all those emotions shaking inside of her.  “ Years too late. You can say it.” Dante smiled as he watched the letter he had kept to himself for so many years finally reaching its long-awaited recipient.  “I don’t expect you to read it … or open it. You can actually turn it into a paper plane or shove it down my throat if you want. I won’t fight you.” Of course he had to joke, to play it cool but she didn’t mind. She knew it was just one of his defence mechanism and she couldn’t blame him for it.      “ So why giving it to me?” Dante shrugged, refusing to admit he did want her to read what his young 19 years old self had to say, what he still had to say. “You can’t stop with the devil-may-care for a second and admit what you truly want, what you truly feel, can you?”     “ Fight my demons, huh?” He quoted her and she nodded. “Yes. Would that be so complicated for a ‘menacing devil hunter’ like yourself?” It was her turn to quote him but that quote made him melancholically happy.                   “ I guess that’s a challenge I still can not face.”              “ Or don’t want to” There was a new pause and as they finally looked at each other’s eyes, they knew they would not fix what had been broken years ago today. He was not ready. Not yet anyway. And that was okay. Y/N was patient. She could wait. She could keep waiting.     “Goodbye Y/N” Especially when this time a kiss on her forehead and a hand on her cheek felt more hopeful than ever. “Goodbye, Dante.”

And she watched him leave, again, but certain that someday, one day he would come back to her as he always would. After all, he promised.

[wavebiders]

Operation: "Ignore the Shitty Live Action Winx Show and Just Rewatch the Cartoon for the First Time in Almost a Decade" part 50:

Things Are Fucked and Aisha is Valid

Rescue mission let's goooooo

...this is kinda sorta really fucked up

"Leave the young lady alone,slave" Wow me and Darkar actually agree on something

Maybe untie her from that table now pls she's a baby and it's disturbing

Does anyone have any other ideas? Brandon doesnt deserve this

"You could use a breathmint" haha overused one liner is overused but it never gets old

Aisha said "no thanks" to that so fast and I respect it

"There's nothing worse than not being able to do anything" oooh Riven/Musa parralel to her literally crying about not being able to help on that first mission

Obv the ship was as rushed as any of them but especially this season it's the only couple where I feel like real effort was made to show things they could connect over

Amentia is such a problematic fav

Also Aisha diplomacy skills for the win

Bloom constantly going on about how her friends are gonna kick Darkar's ass is adorable. She stans them so hard

Dude no dont touch her face like that I was trying to enjoy the cute, and you're making it weird again

Am I entirely too protective of fictional children/teenagers? Perhaps. But still get her tf out of there😭

Also not to be constantly bitching about Fate but this is exactly the kind of storyline they could have taken from uncomfortable to straight up horrifying if they actually bothered to adapt the cartoon's storyline

"A brave and beautiful fairy like you has nothing to prove. Want a cup of tea?" I've found him. The most relatable character in Winx Club

Dtyygcc she really is just sipping tea and casually watching them get destroyed im fucking cryibg

"Put your glasses back on before you run into something" and they say romance is dead

Im actually kinda relieved they triggered dark!Bloom if only so that it can go from genuinly uncomfortable to the funniest shit on the planet again

Side note: I've been calling her dark!Bloom bc that's an easy nickname but Darkar did just call her "Shadow Bloom" in this translation so Im starting to feel like maybe i'm not too far off there

[bluecoloreddreams]

(Disclaimer: this contains spoilers for the Fruits Basket and Fruits Basket: Another manga, as well as taking into consideration tidbits from Takaya’s twitter.) 

So, okay, first of all we have to address the YMMV aspect: Some people don’t like this ship. As long as they’re respectful, I have no beef with that. I’m well aware that some people cannot/choose not to make the distinction between “real life” and “fiction”— I have the luxury of this choice, so some of the “problematic” ships/character aspects within Furuba don’t bother me (for the most part). It’s fiction, and I’m aware of this.  

Again, some people cannot/do not make this distinction, and that’s none of my business because that’s their personal life. I’m aware that people dislike aspects of Akigure, and that’s fine. 

Personally? I’ve been reading Furuba since like, basically the dawn of time. I was reading scans on, like,  MSN groups. I remember a friend at church (of all places) telling me about the Akito reveal because I was behind on updates. It’s literally engrained upon my shipping heart at this point. 

(Headcanons ahoy! Like literally, this is all headcanon/my perspective on the series as a whole. YMMV/YKINMK/Dead Dove, the whole works, if you know you know

YES I wrote it like it’s an actual research paper because I have No Chill At All, please forgive me. It’s long and pretty rambling.) 

Addressing the first elephant in the room: Given my limited interactions with the fandom, my impression of Akigure from a generalized fan POV is that it’s pretty divisive. Every episode she comes up there are “I hate this kid” comments and I cry

Akito is a favorite of mine, and it’s impossible for anime-only’s to make a deep, informed call on her character. On the other hand, a lot of manga-readers dislike her too. 

So, why am I talking about whether or not people like Akito as a character? 

I’m of the opinion that it impacts people’s ability to view her character arc as one that deserves a happy ending. That she doesn’t deserve to have love, happiness, or forgiveness, all of which are given to her when she and Shigure finally end up together on equal footing. (Do I think the way it’s rushed in the original Furuba ending? Yeah, but hey. Sensei had like a huge ensemble cast to wrap ends on. Now there’s Furubana to look to and it’s just chef’s kiss.)

There’s a mental aspect in this, involving the dichotomy between “reality” and “fiction”. 

There is absolutely zero argument that are a lot of things that Akito does that uh, listen, if it was IRL she’d be in jail! Jail for terror baby! Jail for life! 

Fortunately, Fruits Basket is a work of fiction. These characters aren’t real, they’re idealized brushstrokes of human nature created to move a plot and a message along. 

That’s why Akito and Shigure work as a couple and as characters: 

They’re both incredibly deep characters that get passed off as one-dimensional by a lot of people (and the original anime, woof). Some of it is again, because anime-only fans just don’t have the whole story, since Akito’s arc is one that builds gradually until it hits a point where all hell breaks loose, which we are a ways away from. 

So what’s the message that their relationship and characters are supposed to pass on? 

Well, it breaks down into two categories: world building and thematic arcs. The latter is more important and what I’ll be focusing on, while the former is just a little spice that I, personally enjoy, and won’t really talk about in depth. (It’s that the magical realism in Furuba sets up the idea of soulmates, it’s just…. Something I enjoy and it’s really heacanony, so I can’t really justify spending more words on it!) 

When discussing Fruits Baskets in any capacity, I feel like we must first keep in mind the thematic “lessons” of the series: 

There is an inherent loneliness in living as a human being, since loss, grief, and hurt are indelible parts of the human experience, and learning to cope with these feelings in a compassionate manner is a life-long lesson 

People react differently to the loneliness of existence, and their reactions are based upon their personalities, their upbringings, and their own choices 

Everyone is capable of change and learning, if they choose to do so, however: 

Personal agency is taught, but in the vacuum of positive reinforcement, the ability of a person to choose to be compassionate is stifled or outright inaccessible

Therefore, if you are not taught to deal with your grief and existence outside of others, your ability to connect may become warped, manipulative, or abusive, and this is not the fault of the child but instead the parental figure 

Eventually, you will be aware of your actions, and then it is your burden to choose—some people do not take this choice (the head maid, Ren, Kyo’s bio dad, Rin’s parents, Sawa’s mother in Furubana)  

Abuse has long lasting effects on the psyche and can be physical, emotional, and/or mental in nature and must be dealt with in order to grow as a person

“Dealt with” does not mean that it goes away, but that it is acknowledged and given a positive outlet (Yuki’s garden, Aaya’s shop, Rin’s art, Momiji’s violin playing)

Forgiveness is not linear

Forgiving yourself is a long and arduous process, and happens independent of other people’s forgiveness

This is really brought to the forefront in Fruits Basket: Another, when Shiki talks about how his mother interacts with the rest of the Sohma family. It’s shown she’s done what she can to make amends, but recognizes that while she can individually hold relationships with certain family members, as a whole, it's best if she allows them to be away from her. 

This is a whole tangent on its own, but there’s a certain blanket of casual forgiveness given to Akito by the entirety of the shown Zodiac in Furubana, in that they trust that she’s raised a kind and thoughtful son and allow him the grace of his own family. 

Again, in Takaya’s tweets post-series that acknowledges that Akito’s friends with Uo-chan, despite her relationship with Kureno (and it shows a depth of awareness on Kureno’s part that he stays away

People flourish in environments where love and positive reinforcement is given freely, even when people are in the wrong

This doesn’t mean that no one is ever scolded: see Komaki and Kakeru, Kisa and Hiro, Hatori chews out Shigure all the time, but never ceases being his confidant 

So okay, that’s A Lot. But every single character in Furuba follows these themes in their own manner, because the series is about healing and learning how to heal from abuse, neglect, and isolation. Someone’s gonna have to be doing it. Point blank, the end, to tell a story there must be conflict, and boy howdy, there’s a lot of conflict in Furuba. Every personal thematic arc in the series ends up tying into a romantic one, because Furuba is a romcom drama. 

There’s a loop that goes “personal betterment”->”crush”/”friendship”->”conflict”->”personal growth”/”relationship growth” in the series for every character. That’s the bread and butter of Furuba. 

But anyway. To the question: 

I love them because they work, they’re both their own people with their own narrative focuses, motivations, conflicts, and flaws. Both Shigure and Akito are believable in their own right in the context of Furuba, and I think Takaya did wonderfully in crafting a story where their personalities mesh well and give each other reasons to better themselves.

To talk about them together, you have to talk about them separately. 

I’m gonna start with Shigure because, truthfully? 

I just want to lament about how often he’s simply passed off as either comic relief or absolute trash. He’s so underestimated! 

“He’s a joke of a grown man… He is reliable and I trust him.” (Another, v. 3)

He’s incredibly intelligent when it comes to interpersonal relationships, which is why he’s able to do what he does. He’s also incredibly kind—no one made him take in Yuki or Kyo or Tohru. He could have just went “ah, I’d prefer not to” and moved on. But he didn’t, made up some bullshit so Haru would feel like taking in Yuki was a transaction, and let me just tell you, I am the same age as Shigure and if you gave ME three teenagers to be the guardian of?! It would be a full on disaster.

He’s actually incredibly trustworthy (if he wants to be), insightful, and a genuinely good guardian despite his jokes and wisecracking. 

He forced Kyo to go back to school, knowing full well it would be good for him. He lets a whole host of children run rampant through his home. Kids who actually enjoy his presence. He’s shown as having a good familial relationship with Rin (who tries to warp that for her own means), Kisa, Haru, and Momiji. His advice to Tohru is genuine, insightful, and ridiculously helpful. 

Shigure is good with people. He gets up at the crack of dawn to drive Shiki to see Sawa in Furubana. He’s who Mutsuki and Hajime immediately go “holy shit you need to do something about this” to when they find out Shiki’s getting nasty notes about Akito. He’s who Shiki goes to when Sawa fell down the stairs as a child. As much as Shiki and the others make fun of Shigure, he’s obviously someone who’s trustworthy. And that’s not some new development, he’s always been trustworthy in regards to those he loves. No one asked him to show up to Tohru’s teacher conference, he volunteered. Like this dude loves people, he’s the dog spirit after all, and rightly so. 

Does he have his own motivations? Of course! But so does everyone else in Furuba. He’s a complex character, man! 

He laughs and jokes a lot because he’s projecting this image of a laid back, doofus. When you think about who he’s friends with, the whole middling goofball act makes a lot of sense. Just like some of Ayame’s over the top behavior is a defense mechanism, I believe that Shigure casts himself as a generally unappealing man to keep himself safe from advances when he was in school, but also to temper the wildly unequal personalities of his other two friends. He’s the sort of person who would just go “eh, whatever makes it easy”, and that’s just how he is. 

He doesn’t mean the creepy school girl thing, it’s a bit and I think the only people who don’t realize he’s running a bit are Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru who are absolutely too stupid to realize he’s playing them for reactions. He thinks it’s funny. 

Anyway:

When the older Zodiac had the dream of Shigure, Shigure is the only one who made the active choice to seek out that feeling. His soul was touched, and he decided that he wanted that and only that. This doesn’t necessarily mean he went full Jacob from Breaking Dawn, but it does mean he acknowledged there was a bond, and he wanted it. 

When you get into the technicalities of the curse, it’s mentioned that their Zodiac spirits influence how they interact with Akito, and that going against her can cause physical and emotional pain. Yuki cries when meeting her, and it’s mentioned that that’s just the normal reaction for the Zodiacs. 

It’s hard to say how much of their early interactions are influenced by the curse, but it’s obvious that Shigure has genuine fondness for her. She wasn’t always absolutely broken, as shown in Yuki’s backstory, and was a precocious child, one who sought affection openly. 

Shigure has an indulgent personality, and is shown to love being adored. Guess who loves him! Akito! Guess who wants lots and lots of affection! Akito! 

Their personalities are very well matched as they get older: They’re both intelligent and coy. They both have fairly sharp tongues when needed, and have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to get what they want. 

Shigure wants Akito to be independent from the curse. He’s made it clear to her he doesn’t want to be her father, he doesn’t want to be her friend, he wants to be her lover. Those are boundaries that Akito’s never been given before, and his frankness with her and his jealousy with Kureno is something she agonizes over, simply because she’s never been given any sort of serious interpersonal boundaries, or repercussions for her actions. He’s always kept himself separate from her, because of those boundaries, even when they were children. 

That’s important. It opens the door to the idea that her actions have consequences, and is a persistent nagging in the back of her mind. 

“Even though you hadn’t realized it, I was waiting for that day.” (ch 101)

For the bulk of the series, the only person who sees Akito as a person separate from the curse, and sees a future where she can grow is Akito. He has an extraordinary amount of patience for her, and forgives her for a lot. 

There are only two incidents that Shigure cannot forgive: Her sleeping with Kureno, and at the very end of the series, I’m of the full opinion that if Akito had pushed Tohru off the cliff, Shigure would have been done with her. Look at that expression, that is the look of someone who is toeing the line of throwing away all his hopes and dreams. If she really had pushed Tohru, I just...... The series would have taken a much darker tone. 

OKAY that’s enough about our favorite terrible author! (Okay, an aside, Shigure, please share your work ethic, you goof off so much but you’ve published so many things…how…)  

ONTO AKITO! 

“I’ve  finally realized… she hated her own shallowness all this time, from the very start.” // “It’s frightening because you have no choices.” (ch 121) 

A lot of people dislike Akito because she, for the bulk of the manga, is violent, manipulative and just downright unpleasant. And that’s fine, but it’s not the point of her arc or the themes of the manga.  (It is, however, the point of Rin’s: you don’t have to forgive everyone.) 

She’s not the only violent person in the series. If we as readers can forgive Uo-chan and Kyoko, or even Hana-chan for her moment of violence, why can we not extend the same grace to Akito? 

Violence is often shown as a knee-jerk reaction to fear and sadness: Kyoko, Uo, Hana, Kyo, Rin, and Akito all react violently to negative situations and feelings. Even Kisa reacts violently when she’s at her worst, biting both Haru and Tohru when she’s in her tiger form, which is shown to actually cause pain like a real tiger would. (It’s played for laughs, but has anyone been bitten for realsies by a house cat? That hurts! How much more would a house-cat sized tiger hurt!!!) 

Out of all of them, Hanajima and Kisa are the only characters to show immediate remorse, because they have what the others don’t: A positive support system. Once positive role models and support systems are in place, all of the others begin to learn how to react differently and ease out of the knee-jerk reactions that were ingrained in them. 

It’s made explicit in the manga that you have to be taught how to react positively, you have to learn and choose to be good, to be friendly, to love yourself outside of others’ perceptions of yourself. Look at Yuki’s arc. Look at Uo-chan’s. Kyoko’s. 

Yuki sums it up nicely in the last chapter of the manga, where he tells Tohru that she taught the Zodiac how to become human. She allows them to grow into people who can make the choice to be loving, compassionate individuals. 

Just because Akito doesn’t interact positively with Tohru for the bulk of the manga, it doesn’t make it any less true: 

Akito is kept in a juvenile state of being: No one teaches her to suck it up, that the world exists outside of herself, that other people are people and not things. In fact, she’s actively encouraged to act the way she does. She’s incredibly broken, between the maids of the Sohma estate just… allowing her to do whatever the fuck she wants and her absolutely jacked up relationship with Ren and Akira. She has no moral compass at all. No one bothers to teach her that her actions have serious consequences. 

She knows, in a roundabout way that hey, these people don’t like me. There’s a serious mental dissonance between what she latently knows—these are all people with no connection to her other than the bond of the curse. This is why Tohru is able to break through to her at the climax of the manga: 

She knows she’s wrong, but no one has ever told her she’s wrong but understood why she’s doing it. Akito just didn’t have the words to explain herself. What do children do when they cannot communicate? They lash out. Kids will bite, scratch, yell, kick, fall to the floor and have screaming tantrums out of frustration. Eventually, most kids learn that there are other ways to express frustration, and move along. (Not all, though, but most.)

Akito was taught that this is acceptable, allowable, and is her right as god. She is actively broken and kept that way through the neglect of the Sohma family maids, Ren’s abuse, and how Akira framed her role in the Zodiac. 

I can go on and on and on and on why the way Akito was treated for her role in the Zodiac by her parents and the rest of the Sohma estate was just awful. I hate it, it’s terrible, she never had a chance to learn and grow and be the genuinely thoughtful woman we know she grows into. 

She doesn’t force her path of forgiveness onto others and is fully cognizant of what she did, the repercussions of her actions, and lives her entire life after the curse breaks trying to right what she did wrong. 

“Even if she gets hurt, she says she deserves it. She tells me not to let it bother me, but… I’ve always, always loved her so much.” (Another, ch. 13) 

Tohru opens the door for Akito. She extends her hand, offers her friendship despite having seen the absolute worst of Akito. She tells Akito that everyone is lonely, everyone wants bonds, and acknowledges Akito’s worst fears, that Akito herself is selfish and dirty for wanting something assured and unending because she, Tohru, herself is dirty and selfish. Tohru knows what Akito has done, knows she’s injured some of her beloved friends, had plans to lock up Kyo, hurt Hatori. 

Tohru still forgives her. One of Tohru’s striking traits in the manga is that she is suffering, every day, she struggles with the grief of losing her mother and the fear of being alone in the world. Through nothing but her own empathy and realization that loneliness is universal, she’s able to forgive people. She forgives Akito and cares for her, and through Tohru, Akito is introduced to the realization that she’s been wrong and that maybe, she shouldn’t be forgiven. 

Shigure also forgives her, and this is the crux of their ship. 

To me, that itself is wildly important. 

They’ve always circled around each other, and Shigure has always been waiting for Akito to be able to come to him again, in full control of her life and choices. He wants Akito the woman, not Akito the god. 

He’s been waiting for the day Akito can meet him as an equal. Akito wants it too, and has wanted him to turn and see her for a very very long time. But she’s been terrified, the entire time, that when he does see her as herself, Shigure won’t like what he sees, and will leave. She’s aware of what she’s done post-curse, she’s aware of the impacts it will have on the former Zodiac members, and she’s aware that once the “bonds” of god and the animals is gone, there may not be anyone left for her.

Neither of them are under any illusions at the end of the series: Akito knows she has to atone for what she did, Shigure knows she has to learn to grow into a person who can function alone. They both know that there are people who are against them changing the oppressive structure of the Sohma family. 

Neither of them care. There are things that they want, together, and it’s enough. There’s a whole new world for them to explore and learn about. And in Furubana, this is shown to be a lifelong effort on their parts: 

“She said after meeting me, she learned so many things for the first time. She smiled happily as she said it.” (Another, #13) 

To close, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the curse and Shigure, and how he set things in motion. 

Without Shigure, the curse would have devolved on its own, yes, but the circumstances would not have allowed for the freedom the Zodiac had at the end of the manga. It would not have ended with Akito being able to learn and live freely. Allowing Tohru into the Sohma family cracked open a door to compassion and kindness none of them had ever experienced before, because the Sohma family seems to exist in a vacuum of stability and love. 

It wasn’t that Shigure knew instantly that Tohru was kind and loving and thoughtful, if anything, his read on her was “completely normal, albeit strange, teenage girl who obviously has a rough life”. But she was normal, she was from outside the Sohmas, and he knew that was enough. No one in the family was stepping up to change the status quo and how stifling and abusive it was, so he did it himself. 

He did it because he loved Akito. 

Not because he felt bad for himself, or Hatori, or any of the others, but merely because he loved her to the point of manipulation. It backfired in his face, because he got a big ol’ dose of “loving and respecting” juice from Tohru, but he still got the end he wanted. 

What I mean to say is best summarized in  chapter 123: 

“It would be nice to live in a kind world, without any troubles, without any fear, without hurting anybody, without ever being hurt, only doing the right thing. I wish I could reach this kind world by the shortest path possible. … “That’s wrong”, or “that’s stupid”: If it’s someone else’s life it’s so easy to make such irresponsible comments. ...It would be great, but it doesn’t exist. … Little by little, walking one step at a time, is all you can do.” 

We get to experience the roughest part of the path with Akito and Shigure, we got to watch them be terrible people who were lonely and in want of love struggle and learn how to get up and move on. 

They tease each other, Shigure is thoughtful of the distinction between “the person Akito was raised to be” and “the person who Akito is”. He’s seen her at her messiest, and she’s seen him at his most jealous. They still chose each other, despite the hurt they caused each other, and others. They make up for it, reflect, and live a life that demonstrates that they have learned. They have friends who are thoughtful and loving and would not hesitate to drop everything and help them, lend an ear when they’re frustrated, help them not to make the same mistakes. 

And then we get to see them be wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving parents in Furubana. 

We got to see their adorable, kind, compassionate child be friends with the children of the people Akito hurt, because everyone in the former Zodiac’s family collectively decided “never again, no”. 

Their child adores them. Shiki in Furubana #13 radiates love for Akito and Shigure the same way Mutsuki and Hajime do. 

They are genuinely good parents, even when they tease Shiki, and I think that is testament for how good they are for each other and how much they’ve changed as adults. 

I think that’s enough of a reason to ship them, don’t you?

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Tales of Zestiria?

Favorite character: It's a tough call between Maltran and Symonne, and Lunarre is trailing right behind both. I tend to call them the "Heldalf Squad," but make no mistake, Heldalf himself isn't part of it. I just like his swagalicious minions. The dry and sarcastic political manipulator, the sadistic and wordy theater nerd, and the flamboyant cannibal who hates everything. Yes. LOVE. But I have to give a shout to my boy Dezel on the hero side! Angsty/stoic characters are very hit-or-miss with me, but Dezel is the flavor I love - obvious soft spots and quirks, and slowly he builds from being antisocial to showing how big his heart is. When he stops the woman from leaping off the Guinevere tower...that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire game, because you can see when the switch flips, when he realizes that he CANNOT stay aloof any longer when there's a stranger's life on the line. He's still a grump about it but a compassionate grump.

Least Favorite character: Heldalf. His backstory is really clever, and I like the curse on him. But he himself just feels like Ganondorf but more boring. I kinda hate that he's so vanilla when his three lieutenants are in my arsenal of pet villains from the vastness of fiction. Also shout-out to Chancellor BART in the opening Ladylake act, because I distinctly remember liveblogging this to a friend, and I played Zestiria *after* Berseria (I'd loved Berseria and that's why I eventually sought out Zestiria) so here I am just comparing up the corrupt church in Ladylake to the Abbey's suave rogues gallery like "Yeah no BART has nothing on Lady Teresa Linares." Thankfully BART was never seen again.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DezeRose, SorMik, Symonne x Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You), Alisha Diphda x Sergei Strelka, and...I swear you have to bear with me here...Zaveid x Anna (Frozen). I also kinda wanna note a couple ships I'm on the fence about for my other favies - those being Maltran x Ebony Maw (Marvel Cinematic Universe or Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and Lunarre x Arkham (Devil May Cry).

Character I find most attractive: Dezel. It is a scientific fact that guys with pointy teeth are just hotter.

Character I would marry: Maybe Dezel, maybe Sergei. I wouldn't want to take them from those I see as their wifeys, but at the same time, they are husband goals, both of them.

Character I would be best friends with: Catch me clinging to Maltran's train and she drags me along annoyedly as I yell "PLEEEEAAASE LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS" and Lunarre is losing it laughing while Symonne rolls her eyes

a random thought: So I toyed around with basically every accessory I picked up, and I decided to put the sideburns on Rose because fuck gender roles. Well then I just got used to seeing her with facial hair in every cutscene where her 3D model was used, and now I headcanon that she does get it. Maybe nonclassical CAH intersex? Like, I don't necessarily see her as trans (but I support everyone who hc's her as such) but moreso "a cis woman, but I grow this stupid damn facial hair like a dude and I don't get why." And this is why you shouldn't let me play with customizable accessories on RPG characters because I can and will abuse my privilege to headcanon.

An unpopular opinion: That this is actually a very good game. Listen, I think I get it - the initial marketing promised something far different. And that's disappointing. But coming back to it several years after its release, after the release of its PREQUEL, when I never had that hype building up...it actually exceeded my expectations. I held off from it for a while because I thought Eizen's fate would make me too sad, but that didn't end up the case at all. I actually had just come off playing a more recently-released triple-A game that was hyped up for years, and I completed it to my satisfaction in 20 hours. $80 for 20 hours. Zestiria gave me my money's worth in comparison; it took me about 60, and I loved just how MUCH story it had to offer me. I honestly like Rose better than Alisha anyway (Rose was one of the biggest aspects that interested me about playing it in the first place). I've also seen complaints that the characters weren't well-developed enough? Which I just kinda take to mean "They didn't angst enough." Listen. There are PLENTY of games out there if you want angst and sad stories. I don't really like sad stories in my games. I like adventures where the party is a goofy foundfam that jokes around with each other and helps each other work through shitty situations, and that's EXACTLY what I got. (And Berseria really worked on me too because it kinda started at the bottom of the angst barrel, then worked its way up through "The edgy and tortured protag has gained a party of idiots and oh noooooo she's learning friendship and happiness.") Dezel's death is one of the few game deaths that just made me SATISFIED to watch instead of depressed because of the closure he got and the themes tied into his final moments and sacrifice. I loved going on this adventure, I loved the idiots who I went on it with, and I loved seeing what Glenwood had to offer me in world design the further I explored.

my canon OTP: There's not much for canon romance in this game, come to think of it. Just subtext and some flirting. So I'm blanking on if there actually were any canon couples at all.

Non-canon OTP: DezeRose! Which maybe can be considered almost-canon based on the amount of subtext, but still. It's adorable. (And it's the exact same dynamic as EiRoku except M/F and a thousand years later. I need these four to double date...the dual-wielding goofs with their edgy, grumpy Reapers...)

most badass character: Rose! Not only able to wield the Shepherd's Armatization powers, but also to be a dang good assassin on her own, able to hold her own against Heldalf before she even had her eyes opened to seraphim! Though a shout-out goes to Edna because her armatization was my favorite to play with. There's something just satisfying about bashing the enemy in front of you with a pair of GIANT FISTS

pairing I am not a fan of: RoseAli. To be honest, it was at one point something I kinda enjoyed as a third-tier ship for Rose (Dezel first, then Lailah in second). But then...Alisha's Story. I didn't actually purchase it, thank goodness, just watched it on YouTube, and it was the most grating addition that anyone could've made to this game. First of all, I can sum up the issues with Alisha's Story by reminding everyone that it canonized a secret entrance to Camlann that was much easier to get to and wasn't protected by Muse's sacrifice. But the real thing that hurt to watch was how far down they had to knock Rose and Alisha's friendship to get them to rebuild from scratch. Rose claiming she was never Alisha's friend because she's grieving Sorey? The two of them getting into a PHYSICAL FISTFIGHT over it? Nope nope nope. That's not my Rose. Even less my Rose is that whole scene where she...you know...pounces on Alisha to dress her in the silly noblewoman's dress, and it's framed like...let's just say it's really uncomfortable to watch if you don't know the punchline is just a silly outfit. Even though Alisha's Story isn't canon in my head, it still really killed any buzz I had for RoseAli. I will also say I'm not a big fan of Eizavie - first of all, EiRoku or bust in this house, and second, I have a little bit of a hard time seeing Zaveid as mlm due to how much he goes on and on about The Ladies(TM). (Though I could see Eizen as having a tiny crush on him, though. Just like "Oh no he's hot but he's connected to Aifread's disappearance help")

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mostly just in Alisha's Story. I was mad about the aforementioned Rose stuff, but also...like...they undid Lunarre's original cathartic death, they did so to team him back up with Symonne and then do a whole fakeout that they had Maltran with them too, but Maltran is just an illusion and immediately after this, Lunarre and Symonne just decide "Yeah, we're not gonna work together anymore, have a nice life." Why does Maltran need to stay dead if LUNARRE somehow survived EXPLODING? And just...look to next question for more clarification:

favourite friendship: I just want to imagine that Maltran, Lunarre, and Symonne were weird evil friends. The kind who'd take artistic selfies and caption them "Murder and mayhem with my besties!". Maybe they even had a sibling dynamic. They were all pretty dang jaded, so I like to think they sat around sometimes talking about the things in this world that did them wrong. The reasons they were drawn to Heldalf. Heldalf himself wouldn't have cared, he would've kicked them around like disposable tools, but the three of them were too entrenched in his dogma to see it. Maybe if they met up again after he was off the board...then they'd sing a different tune. Realize they're all three better than this, and now they're gonna do things THEIR way, because remember when they made a three-point attack on Glenwood and Sorey was barely able to keep up with them wrecking Lastonbell AND Pendrago AND Glaivend? Remember when Lunarre and Symonne had each other's backs the night Dezel died? Now they can do what they want on their terms! And I just - I have many MANY feelings about these three.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Okay silly self-insert time but the thing is, Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls) and Roman Torchwick (RWBY) are my two favorite parental f/o's (and also my OTP to end all OTPs), and I have this thing about how they'd be PERFECT crime dads to Symonne in particular because she's like a little, more theatrical Neopolitan. So there's a universe in my head where Symonne is basically already my little sister, and I look out for her - well, okay, she's a seraph with powerful Artes and I am a powerless mortal so really she looks out for me because "I suppose SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die" and I am grateful to her for it.

[sorry-but-we-have-moved]

The ABSOLUTE CRAZIEST shit happened on my Sims 3 game last night, so i’m going to make a long list detailing the events in chronological order.

Also note, my Sims are both fictional characters and OCs living on this resort-type lot. The lot is custom built, and the main focal point of the story is the pool, which is located in the center of the lot. In hindsight, this all could have been avoided had i had more step-ladders and had never added a fence around the edges to prevent Sims from climbing out. Also, it probably didn’t help that i used a trick to merge the basement with the pool, a trick that proves itself to be very buggy. I’ll be referring to Sims by their first names, and i’m only tagging/including the ones that are relevant to the story.

- The household i’m controlling is 8 people, 2 older adults and 6 younger adults, 7 are related to one another. At the beginning of this story, they’re all pretty spread out and split up in the place.

-Alice, the oldest youngster, is the only one at the pool besides her father Jack. She jumps in via diving board.

- ^ Seeing this, Jack decides to enter the nearby bar to “express fear of swimming” to Mei, who is listening to a woman named Salotta play piano. Mei doesn’t seem to want to respond to Jack, or she’s too enthralled with the piano playing to pay attention. He sits and waits there for many, many minutes.

- Meanwhile, Alice(OC) is already out of the pool, which is now filled to the brim with other sims. I initially don’t see this as a problem because they’re still able to swim around and use the ladders. What i don’t realize is the ones who have to wait on others to climb out are the ones in danger.

- Jack finally gives up trying to tell Mei of the impending disaster and just turns to face the piano player and listen. Again, i figure since he’s no longer worried about the pool, that the trouble is over. How wrong i am.

- Seconds later, Hoang(OC) drowns. Everyone’s first reaction is to immediately try and leave the pool.

Then, after climbing out, Lucio makes his way onto the water slide and re-enters the pool Hoang just died in.

- A majority of them just never leave the pool, in fact they started having a fucking breath holding contest. BLU Scout and Candie(OC), nearby also holding a contest are Troy and Alice. The choices Sims make in the face of death truly astound me.

- At this point, Hoang appears to have been blipped from existence because there’s no ghost, no corpse, no urn or gravemarker, and no sign of the Grim Reaper coming to get his body. The only one who’s reacting to his death is Guthard(OC) because they shared a household. Guthard also happened to be present in the pool when Hoang died.

- Back in the bar, everyone is reacting to the drowning with symbols that suggest they want to try to find Hoang’s body in the pool but can’t. Everyone in the pool appears stuck, like they, too, are searching or they’re just in total shock.

- ^ Remember, Jack has the Hydrophobia trait. He has a fear of swimming, and knew something bad was going to happen with the pool. But, against his better judgement he is now IN that very pool, looking highly distressed but again, he put himself in there. Also, people are still having underwater contests cause that’s what you do when someone drowns. - Also, he just casually turns into Jesus because of course he does:

- ^ The Grim Reaper finally shows up to try to collect Hoang’s ghost. But there’s a problem. He, like others, is climbing into the pool to try to find the body, but it’s not there. So he spends a good few minutes climbing in and out of the pool from different floors, taking the nearby tube elevators as he does.

- Suddenly, ANOTHER person drowns, this time it’s Akande (Doomfist). Now, HIS death is really fucky for several reasons. Shortly after he drowns, EVERYONE that was in the pool suddenly ascends through the roof of the lot. The only remaining Sim is Ashe because she was taking the water slide.

- After some searching, i find everyone NOT on the roof, but on the bottom floor in the basement area. Outside of the pool somehow.

- Now Akande is wandering around, apparently trapped in physical form so he’s not going to be collected to go to the underworld anytime soon:

-He produces TWO, i repeat, TWO gravemarkers in his name. One of these, i’m assuming is Hoang’s and the name’s just a misprint by the game, but there’s another glitch going on that is absolutely hilarious. - Akande is technically a ghost according to the game, since he started phasing through walls and doing the floating animation. But at the same time, he doesn’t have the ghost texture, and he’s able to interact with the environment like he never died, with the added bonus that he can haunt things and people.

- ^ Angela, whom always has some form of interaction with him in previous playthroughs, decides to strike up a casual conversation with him now that he’s a permanent ghost resident. Gabriel (Reaper), who’d been absent this entire time, suddenly rushes to the scene and looks at Akande like “oh what the f***?” - And just like other playthroughs Akande makes a mean comment to Angela which she berates him for before leaving. Even while dead, he’s still an ass.

- ^ I check on the other members of the household to see how they’re handling the chaos, Hazel(OC) is just in the kitchen sharing a canned soup lunch with Jenny(OC) so i’d say this didn’t get to him too much. Also, Akande decides to get himself a ghost salad from the mini-fridge:

- After eating the salad he goes and grabs one of the soccer balls from the “item shop” i have set up on the lot. Then everyone walks in and grabs a ball for themselves, now they’re taking soccer lessons from Akande’s ghost

- Alice, for some reason, goes all the way to the opposite end of the lot to play soccer not with Akande, but with BLU Scout from earlier - Akande sees himself in one of the mirrors on the lot and thinks he looks pretty good as a ghost - Then he goes upstairs and haunts a telescope for a few minutes

- ^ This also happens - Third drowning death happens out of nowhere, and it’s Juelle(OC). This leads to a cascade effect and Jenny(OC) drowns around the same time, and despite me taking the time to actually delete some of the fence now that i’ve suspected it to be the problem, it doesn’t prevent the next several deaths from happening - Mei is the next one to drown. And Angela just. Decided to quicken the process:

Mercy said “No heals 4 U” - Junkrat and Roadhog end up dying together which idk whether to be happy or sad about that, either way they died a couple - Candie and Tyreen go down next, followed by Ashe and Salotta (The piano player from earlier) - Lucio dies right next to the fucking step-ladder like he was gonna climb out and then just gave up

Like seriously dude - Troy lasted a pretty damn long time in this cursed fucking pool, but then he drowns as well:

- Akande is still living as a fucking ghost btw, and he’s casually floating past the pool as all of this happens like “hm. interesting.” - The Grim Reaper, meanwhile, FINALLY gets around to sending ghosts into the underworld. Sometimes people walk by it, react to it like it’s a roadshow, and go about their business. Just some normal everyday shit, y’know? - When he finishes, Grim goes down to the laundry room and does laundry for everyone, only to leave a soggy pile of clothes on the floor in front of the washing machine.

- ^ He also goes upstairs and mops up a puddle someone made, i guess someone pissed themselves seeing him or the ghosts - Laughs while pointing at Gabriel (mad he took the moniker of Reaper i guess?) and then just poofs out-of-scene - Moira starting mourning Akande and Roadhog (Junkrat and Roadhog were part of the Talon household cause convenience) in the kitchen which makes Akande start ghost crying - At this point the population on this lot has been dramatically reduced, so it’s actually impossible to fill it up to the point of overcrowding. And it seems that everyone’s learned their lesson, and they never get in the pool ever again. They just walk past it on their way to the bar or something. Also, shockingly, no one from my active household ended up dying. - However, Kyle(OC) ended up frozen for a few minutes because he was going to mourn basically EVERYONE who ended up drowning and that filled his action queue too full. I had to cancel the actions so he could use the bathroom and get some sleep

- TLDR This story ultimately ends, entire households have been decimated, pets have lost their owners to a fucking pool, i can’t do anything with the gravemarkers even on my own community lot, no one wants to go swimming ever again in their lives, i think i now have PTSD

ᴼᴷᴬʸ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵃᵍᵍᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵒˡʸ ˢᴴᴵᵀ

[emma-nation]

In My Veins - KamilahxMC Fanfiction (Chapter 1)

Summary: Inspired by Lovestruck’s “Havenfall is For Lovers” (Antonio). Amy is a regular, small-town girl looking for her first job in New York City. When she gets kidnapped by the powerful CEO, Kamilah Sayeed, she’ll have to discover her true goals… before it’s too late.

Genre: Romance

Rating: M

Notes: - English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes - This fanfic is slightly inspired by Lovestruck's story Havenfall Is For Lovers - Antonio, but I intend to make it more interesting and steamier too :P

- I hope you enjoy it, your likes and reviews are always appreciated.

"Do I look good?" Amy asked, examining herself in the mirror. "Amy, please..." Lily complained. "You've asked a million times! You DO look good." She had to be. She used her last savings to buy an appropriate suit for that interview. Rumors said Kamilah Sayeed, Ahmanet Financial's CEO, was hard to impress. "I just want to look professional, you know? I don't want her to think I have zero-experience." "You have zero-experience." "Thanks for reminding me of that," Amy gave her an annoyed look. "Don't worry, Amy," Lily laughed. "You're gonna rock, you'll see." "I hope so, I don't want to return to my hometown." "Yeah, it's about time you start paying rent." "Lily!" Amy turned around to check her outfit one more time. Lily grabbed the magazine she left open on her bed. "So, Kamilah Sayeed?" "Yes. I've been doing a little research about her, you know... To be ready for my interview." Lily examined the article. "Hmmm... She's an influent, powerful CEO and... hot! Really hot!" Amy looked at the picture again. Kamilah didn't reveal anything about her personal life. It was all about her company, Ahmanet Financial, and her career. She was gorgeous, it was true. Something in her eyes, a sparkle of mystery, made her desire that job to get to know more about her. "Well, I better go or I'm going to be late." "Dude, who schedules a job interview at 9 PM? This is so weird." "They said it was the only time Kamilah would be available." Amy prepared to leave the apartment when Lily called her back. "Good luck, Amy," she wrapped her in a tight, long hug. "And be safe." "Thank you, Lil." The subway was scary at night, especially with the recent attacks going on around the city. This is all people would comment about. Amy nervously sat next to a couple in the train wondering if they were regular people, like her, or cold-blooded murderers. In the present days, it was impossible to know. You couldn't trust literally anyone. She accidentally eavesdropped part of their conversation. "There was another attack last night," the young man commented. "Yes, the police said it was caused by a big animal or something," his girlfriend added. "They'll never admit it. They'll never reveal the truth." "Come on, it's only a theory people talk about in the Dark Web." The last part attracted Amy's interest. She approached a little bit more to listen, as they started to whisper. "It's not a theory, okay? They have evidences... Evidences that vampires are secretly running New York City! They're also behind these attacks." Vampires. Amy gasped. She thought they only existed in fiction. At some point, during her teenage years, she secretly wished they were real. Every girl did. They were always portrayed as sexy, compelling characters. Even a little bit romantic sometimes. The train stopped and as she left the station she couldn't help feeling she was being watched. She put her earphones on and tried to distract her mind, focusing her thoughts on the interview. She was just too impressed by the whole vampire conversation, that was it. She finally arrived at Ahmanet Financial's building. "Hi," she walked to the front desk, "I have an interview with Ms. Sayeed. 9 PM." "Ms. Amy Parker?" The receptionist asked. She nodded in confirmation. "Can you wait for a moment? Ms. Sayeed will be ready for you in a few minutes." "Of course." Amy sat on a couch and looked around, examining the Egyptian artifacts on the walls. They somehow fascinated her. Ancient Egypt was her favorite class in college. She tried to remember the meaning behind those symbols. She could use it as an advantage to impress Kamilah. Her mind traveled far away and when she looked at the clock, forty minutes had passed. "Ms. Parker?" The receptionist called. "Yes?" "Ms. Sayeed had an emergency meeting but she'll see you soon." "Okay, I can wait." "Would you like some coffee?" "Please." Slowly sipping her coffee, she recapitulated everything she had read about Kamilah Sayeed and the answers she had prepared for her interview. Suddenly, her eyes started to get heavy and she yawned. "Whoa, this couch is really comfortable," Amy thought. "Maybe I should rest my head a little bit..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amy eyes went wide, she didn't know for how long she had been sleeping. She sat on the bed, her head was spinning and she felt nauseous. She studied the room. That certainly wasn't her bedroom or even her bed. She had no idea where she was. She tried to reach for her cell phone in her pocket but it wasn't there.  She stopped breathing.

"I’ve been kidnapped,” she concluded. “I’m going to die.” 

She wouldn't even have the chance to say goodbye to her parents or Lily. She was about to start crying when: "Finally," someone opened the door, "I was starting to think you were dead." That was Kamilah Sayeed. The elegant, sexy and rich CEO that was supposed to interview Amy. "W-what am I doing here?" She asked, confused. "Where am I?" Amy tried to get up but Kamilah prevented her. "Calm down, darling. You're at my place." "Oh, I'm sorry. But why? Did I pass out or something..." "Sort of," she said. For the first time their eyes met. Kamilah had the most beautiful brown eyes Amy had ever seen. They looked so deep... hypnotizing... "Uhh... I... I should go home," Amy moved away from her. "It must be late. My roommate..." "Darling, wait," Kamilah requested. "Follow me to my office, would you?" "Y-yeah, of course." Still stumbling a little, she followed Kamilah outside the bedroom. Her eyes examined every detail of her mansion in astonishment. It was enormous and well-decorated with luxurious, modern-styled furniture and objects. Kamilah led her to a door near the living room and introduced it as her home office. "Whoa," Amy exclaimed, looking at the garden outside. "This is so amazing!" "It's a nocturnal garden," Kamilah explained. "It's a garden planted entirely with night-blooming flowers. Everything you see opens only at night." "It's beautiful. Do you have any special reasons..." "I'm a botany enthusiast but I can only appreciate it at night." "Right... because you spend most of the day in your company." Kamilah gave her a small smirk in response. "Sit down, please." Amy sat in a comfortable chair in front of her desk, paying attention on her extensive book shelf. Books from many different periods and genres, in at least five different idioms. Her admiration for Kamilah grew a little wider. "Whoa... you..." she opened her mouth in surprise. "Drink?" Kamilah interrupted, pouring some liquor in a glass. "N-no, thanks. I'm still kinda nauseous." Amy looked around expectantly. Everytime her eyes met Kamilah's she felt a funny feeling in her stomach. After a moment in absolute silence, Kamilah handed her some papers and a pen. "What is that?" Amy wanted to know. "A contract." "But... what about my interview?" "Read carefully, please." Amy studied the first few paragraphs of the contract. It had nothing to do with Ahmanet Financial or her job as assistant. One of the lines clearly stated she voluntarily agreed to give all her blood to Kamilah Sayeed. "Ms. Sayeed? There's something wrong with this contract..." she spoke. "It says that by signing it I'm giving you total ownership over my blood!" "For research purposes, yes." "I don't understand. What does it have to do with the assistant position?" "Nothing, darling. I don't really need you, I need your blood." "H-How much?" Amy stiffened a little bit. "All of it." "Okay, I'm getting out of here!" Amy got up, running as fast as she could directly to the front door. Suddently, a shadow passed right through her, blocking her path. "You're not going anywhere," Kamilah held her with an impressive strength. "I-I..." Amy looked up and something had changed in her face. Her gorgeous brown eyes had been replaced by a red and cold gaze. "You're not going anywhere!" Amy noticed two sharp, pointed teeth showing behind her lips. "Y-you're a..." "It didn't take long for you to figure out, huh?!" "P-please... don't kill me..." Amy cried. "I have family, you know?" "I know and if you had finished reading my contract you'd see I'm willing to provide them everything they need." "You're monster!" Amy struggled to escape from her arms but she couldn't. Kamilah was too strong. "You don't understand..." she complained. For a second, Amy could swear there was some sadness in her words. "Please... let me go..." Amy begged as Kamilah dragged her by the arm through her mansion. "I can't," Kamilah placed inside the bedroom again. "You'll stay here until you decide to sign my contract." She slammed the door. A click suggested she also locked it. "No! Wait!" Amy desperately knocked, sobbing and screaming. She insisted for hours, until her all strength was gone and she fell down on her knees. Lily was her only hope now. How long would take for her to notice her disappearance and inform the police?

[shirtlesssammy]

9x06: Heaven Can’t Wait

Guys, we’ve made it. This is hands down Boris’s favorite episode. I watch it as comfort food and I love every second of it. It’s also really gay, guys. I can never give this episode justice in this recap, but I love it so, so much.

Then:

How can anyone turn this face out of their home?

Now:

In Rexford, ID, in a secluded home, a distressed man is on the phone with a suicide hotline. The woman on the line is pleading with the man to listen to her and save his own life. He cuts the line, pulls his gun, and sees an old photo of what we can only assume is his mother and himself as a small child, and he stops, dropping the gun. He hears a noise. Another man appears and obliterates the man into a fine mist of pink goo.

Hello, Steve.

Cas is a Gas ‘n Sip attendant named Steve now. He’s wearing an adorable purple striped shirt and monitoring the locals on how to be human. He almost succeeds. #givesteveahighfive2k13 The newspaper man might not see how special and cool Steve is, but Nora, Steve’s boss, does. She’s late but knows that Steve is an overachieving gas station attendant. She wonders out loud, “Where have you been all my life?” And so begins the double story told this episode. Is he really a super attractive, responsible man this single mom has been waiting for or is he a super attractive, responsible employee this gas station manager has been looking for her whole life? “You’re not like the other sales associates. There’s something different about you.” He’s either gay or a former angel, amirite? Cas insists that he’s a completely regular human.

Cas then looks at the day’s newspaper: another unexplained disappearance.

Another reason I love this episode is because everyone is in it! At the bunker, Kevin lets Sam and Dean know that he just translated the angel tablet into doodles Elamite. The language is dead though. They need someone to translate it. Sam jumps right to research! SWOON. Dean is literally saved by the bell when his phone rings. It’s Cas. 

He’s got a case, but he’s busy dealing with “The Big O Slush”. I SEE YOU SET DESIGN. Dean asks Cas how they want to do this, and Cas spills his slurpee everywhere.

Then he hangs up on Dean.

Dean takes off with barely a goodbye to Kevin and Sam. He doesn’t like research anyway.

Back in Rexford, Cas is busy trying to fix his halo. BRB, weeping.

Nora confronts him with a toothbrush and sleeping bag in the back of the store. Yeah, Steve pretends that he’s not living at the Gas ‘n Sip and tells Nora he’s been staying to work on inventory. MY HEART. “I wanted to be thorough with inventory, so I worked late last week, and taking a nap here was easier than going back home to my bed. Which I-I have, of course – a bed...and a home.” MY HEART.

File in Pain Library:

And now a story told two ways.

First time viewer Boris:

Nora asks Steve out on a date.

Subsequent viewer Boris:

I’m a monster to think she was asking her very responsible (but attractive!) subordinate employee out on a date. She’s asking this nice, responsible, gay man she trusts implicitly to babysit her child so she can go on a date!

Nora, dense humans and former angels do not understand subtle human conversation. (God, I’ve never identified more with Cas than when watching this scene.) Spell. It. Out. For. Him. Poor Cas doesn’t get it, and just wants to be human SO bad. He takes it as an invite for a date and accepts. Yay! Honest to God, before this moment, I very much doubt Cas has even thought about Nora as someone to have romantic feelings for.

Dean, meanwhile, shows up at the cold open crime scene. The sheriff shows him around the pink goo, all the while mentioning the other victims and how sad they all were.

He then checks in with Sam and Kevin, ALL THE WHILE STARING AT CAS WORKING AT THE GAS ‘N SIP. Like, holy hell, dude. I know you have a lot of angst for kicking him out of your home because you have a lot of angst for allowing an angel to possess your brother, but take it down a notch (please don’t).  Dean suggests they ask Crowley (currently chained up in their dungeon) to help with the translations. Dean tells Sam about the case and Sam wonders if he should be there. Dean stutters his way through a shut down.

Cue Dean’s Theme Music, all weepy and melodic.

That boy is pining something bad. (Yeah, sorry, I just can’t read this episode any other way. Dean misses Cas, and Cas misses Dean. And Cas is pissed that Dean kicked him out of the bunker, but is so happy to see Dean, but so sad about being human. And there’s angst and a case to solve and fan fic gaps and trope after trope of goodness. SIGH.)

Cut to a very upset girl talking to her friend on her cell. Her boyfriend just broke up with her in front of everyone. She’s upset enough to admit to her friend, hyperbolically, “I could just die.” The man from the cold open appears and says, “I can help with that.” And turns her into a spray of pink goo.  

At the Gas ‘n Sip, Steve is hard at work.

Dean arrives, asking for “some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.” (Is this canon that Dean smokes? Ugh. I hope he’s just being a doofus here.) Dean over compensates for his dickish move of kicking Cas out of the bunker (by being more of a dick and insulting Cas’s chosen career.). Cas acts like a jilted lover. Cas tells Dean, “When I fell to earth, I didn't just lose my powers. I – I had nothing.” CRYING NOISE. Ya know, even without his powers, he had a home, and family and then he was kicked out of that as well. Now he’s making his way on his own. He’s SO proud of himself.

At the bunker, Sam asks Crowley for a translation. He refuses. Sam accuses Abaddon of being scarier than Crowley, so Crowley crumples up a piece of paper to show Sam who’s really boss. Lol.

Dean continues to push Cas to help him on the hunt.

Cas is having none of it. He’s got to stock the shelves, and clean up the mess a patron left in the bathroom (blarf, just bail Cas, it’s not worth it.) (Sidenote: Cas mentioning how he failed at being an angel, ugh. I’m so glad for his self-worth arc in season 13.)

Nora’s interruption about the bathroom cleanup is so interesting. She confirms their “date” in front of Dean, but she doesn’t even ask who he is and why he’s been hanging out with Steve this whole time. Second viewing Boris’s MIND IS BLOWN. She doesn’t need an introduction because she (thinks she) knows exactly who he is. She confirms the evening’s plans because there’s nothing to hide when just confirming her babysitter for the night.

Dean shows his jealousy over Cas’s “date”, but he gets a call that there’s been another death. Cas reluctantly agrees to come along, but not before cleaning the bathroom. Lol.

At the scene of the crime, a very professionally dressed FBI and Steve the Gas ‘n Sip attendant arrive to investigate. While Cas looks on in shock and horror, Dean interviews the girl’s friend on the other end of the phone. “'Kind of bummed'?” “Like more bummed than when she got a "C" on a quiz, and... less bummed than when her parents split up. 'Kind of ... bummed.'” Lolol. Dean then looks for Cas and can’t find him. ALERT THE POLICE. Oh, he was just leaning against the Impala.

For Science:

Cas knows exactly what happened here.

For Science:

It seems that this is the work of the Rit Zien, a special angel that killed other angels past saving in Heaven. That’s their job. Seek out the pain filled angels and kill them. Only now on Earth, they can’t distinguish between real pain and normal human emotions.

Sidenote, I just paused my video and thought you would also like the view:

Dean insists they have to stop the rogue angel. Cas doesn’t think he’ll be any help. Dean doesn’t agree but accepts Cas’s wish to not get involved. He tells him to go on the date with Nora. But first, Cas needs a ride.

*Fan Fiction Gap #1*

While Cas is off living his normal life YAAAS QUEEN LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, Sam confronts Crowley. Crowley offers to translate the Elamite as long as he gets a phone call. Kevin tries to convince Sam that this is a no good, very bad idea but they move forward anyway. Honestly, if Kevin were in charge this would be a much more boring show – but also with at least a couple fewer apocalypses.

Back with the Dean & Cas romcom, Dean drops Cas off at his date, then notices his unfortunate attire. (Somehow it's dark now? Did they go get some food?) He convinces Cas to take off his Gas 'n' Sip best and undo a button on his collar. (Boris: Tony Manero. Lol. No words. Just links. I mean, John Badham started directing Supernatural in season 9. Pfft. And “I can’t let you do this.” Really Dean? And that once over? Really Dean?) This is all fine and I'm not reading into this AT ALL.

Dean gives Cas his fifty cent guide to wooing women and sends him off on his date. All squealing innuendo aside, this is an incredibly sweet and sad moment. Dean has a tendency to try to save people from the hunting life. Sending Cas off on his date is more than just bro-bonding. It's Dean's way of protecting human Castiel. May he live far from the wars of Heaven, in the company of someone normal. (Boris: He wants Cas to succeed and be happy in the world--it’s just sad that he doesn’t recognize that Cas is happiest around him.)

Cas, that Casanova, snips a rose and waves Dean away so he can make his move. (Boris: Does Dean really watch his Disney Princess friend prick his finger on a rose thorn?) Unfortunately, once Cas gets inside he finds out that he's been asked over to babysit while his boss heads out on a date. Cas sulkily buttons up his collar again.

Crowley meets with Sam and Kevin, and demands Kevin's blood in exchange for the information. He then proceeds to have an embarrassingly bureaucratic exchange with Hell's switchboard as he waits to be connected with Abaddon.

Meanwhile, Castiel's surprise babysitting gig is going super awesome. And by “super awesome” I mean terrible because baby Tanya starts to cry uncontrollably. Cas picks her up and snuggles her as he sings Joey Scarbury's “Believe it or not” - the theme song for the The Greatest American Hero. (Boris: Ah, at some point during his many channel surfing moments Cas stumbled upon --or Dean showed him--The Greatest American Hero, and I kind of want to curl up into a ball for Cas right now. He’s thinking about that magical suit, about how it could make him fly again and give him his super strength back.) Reader, you may be pleased to know that while Cas can do many things, he cannot sing. It does briefly assuage baby Tanya and he tries to set her down. Tanya's not having any of that shit and starts crying immediately.

Dean gets a call from the Sheriff on one of the crime scenes. It turns out the wife died, but the husband is still out running around somewhere.

Cas has a heart to heart with Tanya. “Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just shoved out kicking and screaming into this human without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels. Or why this confusion which feels like it's a hair's breadth from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand it'll turn out that you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all.” Cas notices that Tanya's a bit feverish.

At the police station, Dean goes over the missing man's case file and finds a picture of the annoying truck which tried to park him in outside of Cas's babysitting gig. He races off.

Cas opens the door to bring feverish Tanya to the hospital and sees the missing man. It's Ephram, an angel. Ephram tells Cas that he's come to wash the planet clean of suffering and he's at baby Tanya's house to...take care of Cas. Oh, Cas! (Boris: Cas is suffering as a human so much that the Rit Zien wants to kill him. Don’t touch me.)

In the comic relief portion of the episode, Crowley's still on hold with Hell (and Sam is getting antsy). Abaddon finally connects to Crowley, blood bubbling on the tabletop.

At the house, Cas grabs the rose from his failed wooing attempt and bloodies up his palm while Ephram monologues about how Castiel's pain allowed him to find him. “Earth can be a hard place but these humans, they can do better. They're just doing the best they can.” Ephram is entirely unimpressed by this argument. He used to admire Cas but now Cas is playing such a small game as to be essentially unnoticed on the scale of Heaven. While Ephram smugly talks about Cas, Castiel tries to draw an angel banishing sigil on the double doors. Ephram catches him and breaks his wrist.

Abaddon tells Crowley she's taking souls early, destroying Crowley's contracts. Crowley's getting pissed. He chews her out about her method of controlling Hell and she tells him that she's dismantling everything. When the phone call ends, Crowley demands the translations. “I keep my agreements,” he says, still nettled by Abaddon's destruction of his carefully crafted soul agreements. He reads it and finds that the spell Metatron did was irreversible. Angels running around Earth is the new world order.

Ephram asks Cas if he intends to live as an angel or a man? Speaking of men, Dean barrels into the house, angel blade at the ready, only to get chucked across the room.

Ephram starts to super zap Castiel when Dean slides his angel blade over to Cas, who kills Ephram with one quick strike.

Later, Cas leaves Nora’s house (with everything put to rights, body disposed of, and Tylenol administered for Tanya's fever) and Nora tells him that, the part of him “that cares so much. That's what makes [him] special.” TRUTH. (Boris: Nora’s continued appreciation of Steve warms me to no end.)

Sam's cleaning up from the phone call when he notices that a syringe is missing. He walks in to find Crowley injecting himself with human blood...

The next morning (cough fan fiction gap cough) Dean drops Cas off at the Gas 'n Sip. He apologies for telling Cas to leave, but that he's proud of what Cas has done with his life.

Cas worries, thinking he should help the angels. “You're human now. It's not your problem anymore.” (Boris: Dean’s speech at the end of this episode is kind of like the first part in a trilogy. He continues it in 11x23, and well, the final part has yet to be seen. He’s proud of Cas. He’s family. He’s like a brother. He means more to Dean that he’s able to voice. I hate you show.) 

Cas heads inside to open up the store, turning to a news story that talks about the massive meteor fall – a.k.a. the angels falling. He stares outside contemplatively.

What are quotes? Baby don’t quote me, don’t quote me no more:

Oh, well, hello to you too, Cas.

You're not like the other sales associates.

We're not keeping him chained up for the one liners.

This is Cas, in case you forgot, he’s not exactly Chatty Cathy.

You’re special.

Good day, ma’am, and good luck!

Wow. So you went from fighting … heavenly battles to nuking taquitos?

You’re the best.

And you’re a hunter in training, remember?

But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[secretgamergirl]

Let’s Talk About The Crying Game

This morning I woke up to an ongoing conversation in my Twitter mentions where a couple people were debating whether The Crying Game has merits that outweigh the lasting harm it’s inflicted on trans women in general. I jumped in to explain the exact form that harm took, educating and rightly horrifying the person who had previously been playing devil’s advocate for the film. I love clearing up disconnects like that and leaving people more aware of serious issues, and I figure this one is plenty common, so let’s get into it here too.

As a quick aside before getting into my main point, let’s all consider our understanding of albinism thanks to pop culture. Generally speaking, I think we’re all aware of the bizarre problem of Hollywood consistently making everyone with albinism in film some kind of over the top villain with supernatural powers. And we generally congratulate ourselves for our ability to separate fact and fiction, knowing that here in the real world, they’re just regular ordinary people with white hair and skin, and red eyes who you don’t have to worry about killing you with their minds. Except the red eyes thing isn’t actually true either. Not all forms of albinism effect the eyes at all, but even in the ones that do, people have the normal range of eye colors, it’s just that photos of them are more likely to get the “red eye” effect from camera flashes, and we all got so used to that it became our idea of “normal” and fictional depictions started depicting it consistently.

We all pick up a lot of “common knowledge” from pop culture sources that’s complete BS without realizing it, no matter how much we’re convinced that we can tell the difference. Carrots are bad for rabbits, but we all think of them as The Thing they eat, because we collectively lost the context for a movie reference in an old cartoon. And our brains are absolutely terrible at drawing a line between the facts we actually researched and the “facts” we just picked up from pop culture or local idiots.

All that in mind, The Crying Game, more so than any other source I can think of, is the movie that popularized the myth that “trans women are out there, dating guys, and not disclosing that they have a penis until they’re about to have sex.” That’s what the movie’s known for, and that’s what’s known about the movie. I’ve never even seen it, personally, but I still somehow managed to pick up on the meaning of the phrase “a Crying Game type situation” and it’s still a phrase people are using 24 years later. That’s a pretty big impact. Also, you’ll note I say it popularized a myth, because this isn’t actually a thing that really happens.

Think about it just anecdotally for a moment. I’m willing to bet that you, personally, have never been undressing with a woman in preparation for sex, and suddenly hit with the realization that she has a penis. Further, I’m willing to bet that you don’t even know anyone who has. At best, you might be familiar with a real world version of this story having been told by someone standing trial for murdering a trans woman, because that’s actually a valid legal defense.

A funny thing though about the cases you can actually point to is that invariably, they involve taking the murderer at his word, because the victim is dead, and can’t testify to the contrary. You would think, if this were something that actually happened, most examples wouldn’t end in murder. The man, enraged at having been tricked, would stop at a mere beating, or a long period of enraged screaming, or would try to murder the woman but fail. Those stories though, you never hear. Nor do you hear the stories you’d have to figure should be out there where a woman goes to bed with a man, and only finds out he’s trans when he suddenly reveals his lack of a penis in the bedroom.

Meanwhile, here’s some things which very much do happen. A man murders a trans woman and claims he was “tricked,” then witnesses show up to testify that they had dated for quite some time, and he was absolutely aware from day one that she was trans. Or it comes out that he had specifically sought her out on a dating site specifically set up for men to find trans women, or made a specific request from an escort service.

And if you talk to trans women who date men, you’ll find it’s quite common for them to have stories about brushes with death at the hands of men who were very much aware they were trans the moment they first met, if not earlier. Plenty more have stories of being assaulted and groped, with a particular focus around the crotch.  A good number of trans women who don’t date men have stories of this nature as well.

Trans women are very much on the supply side when it comes to us dating men. Just do a quick search, anywhere really, for the T-slur, “T-girls,” “dick girls,” “futanari,” “futa,” or “TG” and look what comes up. Google, tumblr, any sort of art site and look at how much trans woman porn comes up. Odds are you can find even more with “forced fem” “trap” or “sissy,” if you want the really specialized stuff. We are as rare as redheads, and just as disproportionately represented in men’s fantasies. Any trans women who are interested in dating men have an overabundance of suitors constantly asking them out specifically for that reason, and the idea of someone needing to trick a man into thinking she was cis is absurd just on that level, not even getting into the obvious problem that the ruse must break when the clothes come off, and your date would then be allowed to murder you.

Meanwhile, the guys consuming all that porn mentioned earlier, fairly frequently, get bold enough to check out a real life trans woman. So they’ll look for a dating service, trans friendly bar, whatever, and look to hook up with one of us. Then, sometimes, partway through a date or whatever, their fragile masculinity will send them into a panic that they’re doing something gay, they won’t want to be outed, and they get violent, sometimes murderously so, and decide their cover story for the whole thing will be to claim they ended up in “a Crying Game type situation.” It makes sense to them, because hey, we’ve all seen the movie, that’s a thing that happens. And anyone they’re forced to give that explanation to will recognize it as a common occurrence, because they, too, have seen that movie, and know it to be a common thing.

So, women like me, even those of us who wouldn’t be caught dead in bed with a man, get demonized as part of these fragile dudes’ cover stories, plus we have to deal with the reality that any given sleazeball can grab one of us off the street, murder us, maybe raping us first, and probably get away with it, just by lying and saying it was “a Crying Game type situation.” And that’s a valid legal defense.

So fuck that movie. It’s exploitative trash, and more importantly, it has a body count.

[optiprimus]

lost light #7, or: i’m suing for whiplash because that’s the fastest i’ve ever gone from loving an issue to...NOT

All of the spoilers under the cut.

Breakin’ in the sideblog with a reaction to lost light 7! It’s a shame I fucking hated it. 

I liked the first...fifteen pages--I liked everything Rodimus did, I liked Magnus’s actually really tragic not-breakup with Megatron-who-is-no-longer-around. I liked Tailgate’s teen drama reaction to Whirl’s news! It’s exactly the kind of silly, over-the-top solution I’d expect from him (and, let’s be honest, most of the rest of the crew.)

The ending? Did not like that. For anyone who’s interested, here’s why. TL;DR at the end.

COMPARABLE DEATHS OVER THE COURSE OF THE TRANSFORMERS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE (i.e., deaths of one half of a romantic relationship where the other half is left alive to mourn)

REWIND AND CHROMEDOME. This is the O.G. Dead Gay Robot Tragedy; I wasn’t around when it happened, but I hear the outcry was so great that we, uh, got Rewind back. Because killing off one of your two canon gay men at the time is not a particularly progressive storytelling choice. And I’m glad James has no problem fixing his mistakes--hell, in this issue we get another reference to the whole “estriol positive” gendered sparktypes situation, specifically to hammer it into the ground that just kidding, that was a poor decision on my part and I apologize for it. But I digress.

Rewind’s death was INCREDIBLY fucking sad. I cried. My high school friend who knows absolutely nothing about trans formers cried. But narratively, it was satisfying. Rewind dies as a heroic sacrifice; he dies saving all his friends and the person he loves, and while that is tragic, it makes you feel proud of him. His last act is selfless, which is, in my opinion, the best note to end on.

The romantic nature of his sacrifice (romantic in the “idealized view of reality” sense as well as “expression of love”) is somewhat undercut by the apparent brutal nature of his death--if we’re to believe Overlord, he got, uh, ripped to pieces and cried for help the whole time. Which, to be fair, is what I would be doing too.

From a metafictional point of view, Rewind’s suffering is a consequence of his choice to be a hero. While this isn’t fair, it’s an established convention, and it’s what makes “making the right choice” difficult. That’s why it carries the weight it does.

Also, he, uh, comes back to life. Although the “alternate universe version of my lover returns to replace the one that died” plotline is its own can of worms, the fact remains that at the end of the day, both living members of the couple are happy again. As happy as you can be in this sort of comic.

Carrying on.

SKIDS AND NAUTICA. Hoo, boy, this one makes me cry. I will be honest: I did not realize this was meant to be a romance until issue...fifty-two? Maybe? And then I went back and looked at the panels where they’re there in the background but don’t speak, and I was so impressed by the visual storytelling that I forgot to be sad for a few minutes.

But then I was sad again. I liked Skids. I really like Nautica. I want them both to be happy. I think they made a cute couple--but Skids’s death served as a necessary part of the story in so many ways. He gets a heroic sacrifice that allows his friends to stand firm in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds (although you could argue that their powerups were pointless; they are set to lose anyway until Megatron shows up, because it’s always about Megatron. Just kidding; I like that guy.) 

It’s a natural conclusion to his character arc, and although it’s a tragic one, it’s one I really liked, in the same way I liked Sunstreaker’s death in All Hail Megatron. It’s sad, but it’s narratively satisfying (there’s that word again), because at least when they’re dead, they’re at peace.

It serves Nautica’s development, in a way that’s incredibly reminiscent of the countless dead-girlfriend-in-fridge narratives we’ve seen since time immemorial. Skids’s death pushes her towards violence in an actually really sad nod to her ongoing desire to learn more “practical” skills. When they’re up against the personality ticks, she laments her lack of combat ability, and then outsmarts the enemy instead of punching it. With Skids, there’s nothing she can fight or outsmart--but at least she can get some revenge, and put his sacrifice to good use.

Skids gets the death of a romantic hero, and for what it’s worth, I doubt he’s gone forever. I doubt any of these guys are gone forever, given what little we know of the Big Plot of the comic so far. But we can’t assume, so for now, he’s dead; he just died well.

LUG AND ANODE. Who are confirmed girlfriends, to the surprise of hopefully no one. This one feels almost like it shouldn’t count, because we see Lug in almost every issue (even if she’s a brain ghost for a lot of those) but it fits the pattern.

Lug’s death and reincarnation are one hundred percent fodder for Anode’s character arc. Let’s get that out of the way now. She dies because of Anode’s reckless adventuring ways, Anode hallucinates her presence, Anode overcomes her fear of blacksmithing to resurrect her, and Anode’s grief is resolved. In this arc, she is a storytelling tool that serves to introduce Anode and what she’s like as a person.

I don’t think this is necessarily bad. Lug has a character of her own, even if she has no agency in this arc, and from now on she gets a chance to have her own angsty plotlines. I’d be on edge of Anode were, you know, a dude, but she’s not, so this is something I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt...on. about. I don’t think that works

Lug doesn’t die a hero’s death. Her death is an accident, resulting from someone else’s carelessness; it’s not a conscious choice on her part, which means it’s also not her fault. The story doesn’t blame her for her own death. It’s not the inspiring sacrifice we get from Rewind or Skids, but that’s okay; not every death is like that, even in fiction.

And again, she comes back. Which we sort of knew would happen, given what Anode used to do for a living. In the end, everyone who’s, you know, alive doesn’t have to be alone. It’s perhaps a bittersweet ending, but it’s a happy one.

And now the main event.

TAILGATE AND CYCLONUS.

Here’s a fun fact: I don’t think Tailgate is actually dead. I think he’s going to make it out, one way or another. I don’t know how long he’s going to be gone. We lost Rewind for upwards of a year; I don’t want to do that again. Either way, this is written with the assumption that he’s perma-dead, because as of right now that’s what we’re being led to believe.

Here’s a fun fact: if one of these two had to die, I would have preferred Cyclonus. In a heroic sacrifice. Yes, I know he wasn’t the one scripted to die way before this. No, I don’t want either of them dead. But if any character would be one hundred percent satisfied and at peace dying to save someone he loved, it’s that guy.

But instead we got this.

Tailgate dies a horrible death as a result of being a dick (apparently due to powers that...make him lash out at people and be a dick. If I’m reading that right.) You can argue that Fangry (who had such a good name, man, why did he have to be a throwaway villain. Assuming he is one) was justified in what he did; personally, I don’t think he did his due investigative diligence. Also if he was helping Kaput with this project wouldn’t he have heard him mention that Tailgate’s aggression is due to his magical girl powerup? Digression.

Here’s what the order of story events is. Tailgate breaks up with Cyclonus in a teen drama esque scene complete with a very sad visual callback to issue whatever is the one where he does bomb disposal. Cyclonus leaves and is sad. Whirl comforts him. Tailgate says “please Doc remove my dangerous superpowers so I can not die and also finally get together with the boy I like.” Doc says okay I’m going to irradiate the fuck out of you. We bury Tailgate in what is transparently a coffin a BIG BOX and then Fangry shows up and says “enjoy death fucker.” Some flowers grow. The end.

Tailgate gets revenge-killed...because he wanted to be alive and happy with the person he loved. Within the story, that’s of course not how it went down, but narratively, his death is a consequence of wanting a happy ending.

If he hadn’t had the audacity to want that, he wouldn’t have been in a position to be murdered. From a meta point of view, he is responsible for the situation and for the motivation of his killer, because he had weird superpowers and liked a boy. And he had weird superpowers because...oh. Because he liked a boy.

Maybe he’s not really dead. Maybe he escaped the death box! Maybe he’ll come back like so many others have. But even if that’s the case, I don’t understand the point of this fakeout. I don’t get it! What emotion is this supposed to engender in me besides disappointment? I’m not concerned for Tailgate because I have no way of knowing if he’s survived and I doubt I’ll find out either way for a while. I’m sad for Cyclonus, because uhh yeah I’m sad for Cyclonus, but I’ve been sad for Cyclonus since like the first issue! This isn’t new!! Anyway.

TL;DR: Every other couple split up by death has had the death be a heroic sacrifice, or not a direct result of the dead person’s mistakes, and most of them came back. Tailgate died because he beat up a dude (bad) maybe because of his magic powers (not his fault)--and because he asked Kaput to fix him so he wouldn’t die or kill anyone else and he could stay with his not-boyfriend. He died because he asked for a happy ending. Even if he’s not dead, I don’t see the point of the cliffhanger; if he’s dead, he’s dead, and we’ll be wondering indefinitely if he’s going to come back. If he’s alive, we spent [x] issues being needlessly anxious about him. That’s not a fun cliffhanger.

Drama thrives on conflict. Them’s facts. But some conflict feels good to read, and some just makes you feel sick, because it’s scary or unfair or hits a little too close to home, and I don’t know about you, but I read this comic about space robots that turn into cars for fun. Not because I want another story about “life isn’t fair” where good people die in horrible ways and bad guys get away with being bad. And if you dare to ask for a happy ending, with the person you’ve been fighting to be with for sixty issues, you suffer for it.

It’s pain for the sake of pain. It’s pointless. God knows we have enough of that already, thanks.

P.S. holy shit sorry to all the people who were invested in megs/mags that SUCKS and I feel for you

[zoromance]

bulletproof (ch. 10)

Bulletproof: a BTS ‘Grand Theft Auto’ AU based on this post

Genre: drama, humor, angst, romance

Word count: 4241

Warnings: mature content, graphic violence, non-graphic sexual content, strong language, drug/alcohol usage

Summary: Min Yoongi owns this city, and he doesn't take kindly to death threats on his loved ones. Min Yoongi can, and will, make you hurt.

Chapter: Prologue / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11

A/N: dude,,,, im so sorry about this insane wait

Read on AO3 // Read on Tumblr

Two weeks later

“So Jimin’s been helping you out with hand-to-hand combat, huh? The guy’s always had a knack for it,” Hoseok spoke, leaning back and taking a swig of his beer. He spared a glance around the sitting room, eyes lingering over the priceless vases and ornate furniture. The feeling of being a bull in a china shop never really went away in this house. It didn’t matter how many times Hoseok came over to Jimin’s place, the sheer size of the mansion never failed to astound him.

Jungkook paused, cheeks flushing, before averting his gaze. The reaction confused Hoseok slightly – it had been a simple enough question, nothing to get flustered over.

“Yeah, he’s a good teacher,” Jungkook mumbled. “Says I’m getting pretty good at it, especially for a beginner.”

Chuckling, Hoseok slapped a hand on Jungkook’s back. He wasn’t surprised – everything the kid touched turned to gold. Makes sense Jungkook would be a naturally good fighter.

“I’m glad,” Hoseok replied, touches of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “Cause pretty soon you’re gonna have bastards coming at you from every direction. Better to establish yourself as a qualified fighter before some son of a bitch gets the drop on you.”

Jungkook nodded and tapped rhythmically on the lip of the beer bottle in his hand. His behavior was still throwing Hoseok off; something seemed to be out of place, and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

This was the first time in days that Hoseok had gotten to spend time alone with Jungkook. Earlier Jimin had run off to the grocery store, claiming he needed agave nectar or some healthy shit like that, and Hobi decided it was an opportune time to kick back and have a couple beers with Jungkook, just chat with the kid, try to give him a sense of normalcy again. God knows he probably needed it after the stress of the last couple of weeks.

“How did Jimin get so good at fighting, anyway?” Jungkook ventured after a few moments of silence.

Hoseok let out a breathy snicker, leaning back on the couch. “Excellent question,” he spoke. “Thing you have to understand is that there’s more than one reason Jimin is so commonly known in this city. Not just for being a party boy socialite, there’s more to it.”

Jungkook cocked his head, almost like a puppy, inquiring further.

“Jimin used to do street fighting. Quite a lot of it. No gloves, no rules, no supervision – underground brawls, sometimes to the death. It was completely illegal and all very hush-hush. Absolutely brutal stuff; he’d come back and we would have to patch him up and wash the blood out of his clothes. He wanted the money for drugs, mainly. But he also got high off the rush,” Hoseok explained.

“It was dangerous, but Jimin was insanely fucking good. People’d underestimate him cause he’s tiny, but the kid sent guys to the hospital on a regular basis. The whole thing got way out of hand, and we finally convinced him to drop the habit before he ended up brain-dead.”

Finally Hoseok spared a glance over to Jungkook. The guy looked absolutely stunned, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“You’re telling me that Jimin… was in the Fight Club?” Jungkook stuttered, taken aback.

The statement, combined with the completely flabbergasted look on Jungkook’s face, caused Hoseok to let out a bubbling laugh. “Pretty much, that’s the gist of it,” Hoseok responded between giggles.

Then Hoseok froze.

Years of living in this city would instill a person with a kind of sixth sense. It wasn’t fictional, it wasn’t exaggerated, it was undeniably real. Hoseok has developed an uncanny ability to predict when shit’s about to do down.

And in that split second, something was horribly off.

All of his hair stood on end, his stomach went ice-cold, his fingers gripped tightly around the forgotten beer bottle in his hand.

“Jungkook…” Hoseok whispered tightly, not daring to move a muscle.

“Hobi?” replied Jungkook, hesitantly, as if he could immediately sense that the atmosphere had changed completely. The boy’s eyes were blown wide, staring at Hoseok with a startling air of concern and confusion.

Hoseok didn’t respond, merely shifted his gaze to the nearest window. Not a muscle in his body moved, and he could hear blood dully thudding in his own ears.

Something was so wrong –

“Get down!” Hoseok shouted, grabbing Jungkook’s shirt faster than lighting and dropping to the ground. A splitting crack sounded in the distance and suddenly there was glass everywhere, raining down in shards on the pair, splitting tiny gashes into Hoseok’s face and arms. Head pounding from the sudden cacophony, Hoseok struggled to blink his eyes open. Jungkook was lying on the floor next to him, stunned but unharmed, completely still from the shock.

Hoseok wasted no time in grabbing the boy’s sleeve, hauling him to his feet.

“Come on, get up! Run!”

The pair stumbled to their feet as more cracks sounded through the air. Hoseok felt the bullets whiz alarmingly close to his head, one shaving off a strand of his hair. He gripping the front of Jungkook’s jacket like it was a lifeline and blindly stumbled to the entrance of the room, unable to even think straight enough to watch where he was going.

“Hobi—” Jungkook started to shout, before his voice morphed into a yelp of shock. Hoseok whipped around to find a bullet graze oozing fresh blood from Jungkook’s cheek.

Shit, shit—

“Come on!”

They stumbled into the hallway, taking off at a full sprint as shattering glass and whirring bullets filled the air directly behind them. Panic and adrenaline flooded Hoseok’s entire body as he raced to the only safe room he could think of – that bomb shelter in the basement that Jimin’s mother was paranoid enough to demand be built.

Rounding the corner to the game room, Hoseok pulled Jungkook close and put his finger over his lips. The boy was clearly panicking, his whole body shaking from the shock of what had just happened.

Hoseok reached one hand down to pull his glock from its holster on his thigh. He quickly checked the cartridge for ammo (a full round, thank god) and switched off the safety.

“Jungkook, take this,” Hoseok whispered as he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a smaller revolver. He placed the cold, steel gun into Jungkook’s shaking hands and looked the kid in the eyes. “Don’t fucking shoot unless we get separated, do you hear me?”

Nodding shakily, Jungkook slowly took the revolver from Hoseok’s hands. “Hobi, how…”

“I don’t fucking know how they found us, but we need to get to the basement. Jimin’s got a bomb shelter down there. We can stay there until—”

Hoseok immediately stopped as he saw a flicker of movement over Jungkook’s shoulder. With reflexes faster than he even knew he had, Hoseok whipped his glock up and fired directly into the approaching man’s skull. The bang sliced through the air and Hoseok flinched from the recoil.

The man dropped to the ground, remnants of his brain dripping from the wall behind him.

“They’re in the fucking house. Follow me, don’t make a sound, and be alert,” Hoseok whispered into Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook snapped out of whatever trace of shock he had been stuck in, and crouched behind Hoseok, shaking hands clutching his pistol. From the corner of his eye, Hoseok saw the boy swallow harshly, eyes blown wide. Poor thing was freaked as hell. Hoseok followed Jungkook’s gaze to the end of the hall, where he saw bits of gore and blood littered in every direction, coating the walls in a macabre kind of Pollock painting.

“Now, Kookie,” Hoseok breathed out, careful to keep his voice and his crouch low.

As quietly as he could, Hoseok crept down the hall. Alarm was rolling off Jungkook in waves, and it was almost distracting. Rounding a corner, Hoseok peered into a nearby room to see figures moving inside.

Hoseok swore under his breath and jerked to a halt. Footfalls were distantly approaching behind them, and the room they were headed towards was occupied by at least three armed thugs, from what Hoseok could see. There wasn’t any option, they would have to shoot their way through that room—

Hoseok’s train of thought was broken by a sudden cry of alarm inside of the room.

It was nearly impossible to get a good look at whatever the hell was going on in that room. Hoseok heard gunshots, yelling, crashing… then silence. Jungkook was frozen at his side, too still to even risk breathing. A faint voice came from inside.

“Xiumin, did you get the guys around back?”

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Relief washed over Hoseok and he slumped down, letting out a long sigh. Clearly confused and still terrified, Jungkook silently looked to Hoseok with apprehension on his face. Hoseok simply smiled and softly wiped the blood from where Jungkook’s cheek had been grazed.

“It’s Jung Hoseok, I’ve got Jungkook with me. We’re coming in, don’t shoot,” Hoseok calmly stated, cracking open the door to find Xiumin and Kai surrounded by dead bodies.

Hoseok grinned. He wasn’t sure who had hired them, maybe Taehyung or Namjoon, but Hoseok was in no position to be complaining.

The Exorcists had come.

Hopefully Namjoon’s shop wasn’t locked up.

Jimin quietly drove through the city, probably about halfway to the auto shop by now. As much as he adored Jungkook, he figured the kid could use a break from his presence for a couple of hours. He’d already made a run to the grocery store with some dumb excuse about needing healthy shit (which he kind of did, to be completely honest) before leaving Hoseok to look after the younger.

There was something about Hoseok’s presence that could just make a person feel at ease. Considering all of the stress that Jungkook had been through in the last few weeks, Jimin figured that it was a good idea to leave the two of them alone for a while.

The car radio was silent. Jimin’s phone had died earlier, in the middle of looking up nutritional information for some fancy granola brand. Honestly, he usually hated whatever was playing on the radio – he’d prefer to drive in silence than to listen to a bunch of commercials for things he didn’t care about.

People always underestimated how much Jimin loved complete silence. It was an extremely rare treat in his life, flitting around from party to party and always hanging out with the guys. Dance studios. Raves. Government events. It was all characterized by an excess of noise.

He’d been feeling much better in the last week or so. Hadn’t even touched any drugs, besides some weed that he hit with Jungkook and Namjoon a couple of days ago. The effects of cocaine detox had absolutely clawed at him for the first week and a half or so, but Tae was always there by his side. Encouraging him, telling how he needed to be strong and healthy for the sake of the others.

Jimin was still sometimes caught off guard by how considerate and intelligent Taehyung could be.

Finally, he turned the last corner onto Namjoon’s street. The shop appeared to be open, a couple of stray cars parked out front. The lights inside weren’t on, but that didn’t mean much – Namjoon often would close the front of the shop and just meet with customers in the back garage. It wasn’t exactly typical protocol for an auto shop, but then again, Namjoon’s shop wasn’t exactly targeted towards typical customers.

Jimin pulled into the parking lot smoothly and killed the ignition. There was a slightly odd feeling in the air, but he shrugged it off as his typical post-withdrawal paranoia. Harder drugs have a way of fucking with your sense of security, and coming off of them multiplies that feeling infinitely. Still feeling wary, Jimin unbuckled and stepped out of the car.

It was then that he noticed the store was oddly still. There wasn’t a soul inside, no noises coming from the garage, not even a stray bird or a passerby on the street.

Maybe this wasn’t just paranoia.

Calmly, Jimin slammed the car door shut and began to stroll towards the front door. He was on high alert, eyes scanning the parking lot, checking the reflection behind him in the glass windows of the shop. Still, not any sight of another person.

He took a shaky breath as he approached the front door. Every muscle in his body was tensed as he raised a hand to the glass and pulled.

Jimin yelped and jumped at the sudden sound of the welcome bell. Fuck – the thing had scared him half to fucking death, Jesus Christ—

Chuckling at himself, Jimin pushed down his anxiety and entered the shop. Nothing looked out of place, at least; maybe Namjoon had just run out to do some errands. Still, that didn’t explain the cars out front…

Before Jimin could even finish that thought, he felt an impossibly strong arm snake around his neck from behind.

He cried out in shock and pain as the arm tightened itself around his throat. Instincts kicking in, Jimin stamped on his attacker’s foot as hard as he possibly could and dug his nails into the muscular skin of the man’s bicep.

Shit—

Jimin gasped for breath and lurched forward as the attacker cried. He grabbed the nearest weapon he could find – a tire iron – and whipped around to face the man.

Shit. Two men. Two men.

What the fuck.

As hard as possible, Jimin swung the tire iron at the taller man on the right. It let out a satisfying whump as it impacted the man’s chest, probably at least cracking a rib.

“Fucking bitch!” the man howled as his friend made a move to tackle Jimin. Jimin was panicking by this point, so much so that he accidentally dropped the iron in an attempt to dodge. The man caught his ankle and dragged him down to the floor – god, shit, where was Namjoon? Where the fuck was Namjoon?

Jimin yelped as his head hit the hard tile floor, sending stars across his field of vision. The pain in his head was throbbing as the man began to try to pin him down. Jimin twisted around just in time to land a right hook straight into the guy’s jaw. Another punch, and kick to the groin – and Jimin was frantically crawling out from underneath the attacker.

Guy Two had recovered from the blow to his chest, and was coming straight for Jimin.

“Namjoon!” Jimin screamed as loud as he physically could, backing up desperately and trying to find some other kind of weapon.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you for that, kid,” the man growled as he stepped over his friend.

Jimin felt a pang of fear in his stomach. It was easy enough to handle one guy, but he wasn’t used to fighting two at a time. He had absolutely no idea what to do. Lunging for the man, Jimin dodged an incoming punch and landed a swift jab to the area of the man’s broken rib. The guy howled, doubling over so that Jimin could grab him by the hair. With all of his strength, Jimin lifted the guy’s head and smashed it down against his knee.

Blood splattered all over his pants and on the floor as the attacker’s nose completely shattered. He let out a guttural howl and stumbled backwards, falling to the ground.

Without warning, the other man shot up and clenched his fists around Jimin’s throat. Jimin could feel the life being squeezed out of him as he was shoved to the ground. The man climbed on top of Jimin, straddling him, pinning him down, hands clenching tighter.

Oh God, Jimin was gonna die. He was gonna die.

“You alright, Kyle?” The man on top of him asked.

“Fuck, the bitch broke my nose,” Kyle growled in response, slowly rising from the floor. “Oh, looks like Yeon finally fucking showed up.”

A third man entered Jimin’s blurry field of vision, towering over him in a dark mass.

“You sure this is the right kid?” the new man – Yeon – asked with trepidation.

“Yeah, it’s him alright.” The man on top of him answered. There was a thick pause, and Jimin clawed at the hands against his neck hysterically. He was gasping for any kind of air, his vision beginning to tunnel in.

“Fuck…. He’s pretty.”

Jimin’s blood ran cold and his heart dropped into his stomach.

“Don’t go there, Mike. You know the boss doesn’t want him as damaged cargo.”

“The boss doesn’t have to know,” Mike replied in a low voice, fingers tightening around Jimin’s throat. “Shit, just look at him, Yeon.”

Jimin tried to scream, tried to fight back, anything. The oxygen was leaving his brain at a terrifying rate. Utter silence filled the room.

“…Fine. Fuck him if you want.”

Jimin’s eyes shot open and he let out a pathetic squeak. He’d never been so fucking terrified in his life. He felt one hand release itself from his throat, and he hear the sound of a belt being unbuckled – fuck, fuck, shit,

With the last of the energy that he had, Jimin shot his hands up to Mike’s face, sinking his thumbs into the guy’s eye sockets.

The sound that came out of the man’s mouth was entirely unhuman.

It almost made Jimin vomit, the feeling of how squishy and bloody the eye sockets were. He felt one of the eyeballs pop out, hanging from Mike’s face, oh god, don’t throw up, don’t throw up.

Mike was screeching, falling to the floor, a strangled gargling noise coming from where the blood was beginning to pool in his mouth. Jimin faintly heard the other two men yelling in a panic, but everything was so blurry, he had lost so much oxygen to his brain.

Before he could even form another thought, Jimin felt a cloth being violent pressed over his mouth and noise. An overwhelming chemical stench permeated his nose, and everything was black.

Yoongi should have expected that this would happen sooner or later. Things had been far too quiet over the last couple of weeks. Bosang had been way too quiet.

Five dead bodies were scattered around the warehouse, each in their own little uniform pool of blood. Three of them were his dealers, two of them were his informants. He was supposed to have been meeting them here to discuss the last shipment from Tijuana. And now they were all fucking dead.

“Little overkill, don’t you think?” Yoongi deadpanned, his flat voice echoing through the warehouse. He faintly heard light footsteps to his left, and his eyes flickered towards the noise.

“That’s an interesting accusation, coming from you,” Bosang replied dully, stepping out from a shadow in the corner.

Well, Yoongi couldn’t really disagree with him on that one.

Chuckling darkly, Yoongi stated, “I take it that means you got the package I left you.”

Bosang continued ambling towards Yoongi, expensive dress shoes clicking lightly on the concrete floor. “You’d be correct.” He came to a stop in front of Yoongi, face stiff, suit cleanly pressed – everything about him screaming professionalism. “Can’t say I really enjoyed it, but it’s the thought that counts.”

A smirk crossed Yoongi’s features.

“Severed tongues? That’s old school, Yoongi. How did you do it? Did you track down every single one of my Crimson Dragons, one by one, and watch them scream while you sliced the tongues from their mouths?”

Yes, that’s actually exactly how Yoongi did it.

“A bit harsh, don’t you think?” Bosang asked, playful mocking lining his tone.

“Why are you here?” Yoongi interrupted, cutting to the chase without any more dumbass theatrics from Bosang.

The man didn’t respond, simply leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. After a moment, he responded quietly, “Why do you think I’m here, Yoongi?”

“To admire my perky ass.”

“You’re funny.”

Every single pore in Yoongi’s body was seething with hatred, just wanting this man to get the hell out of his face. “You got your damn drugs, Bosang. I told you to leave Jungkook out of this. Don’t make me start slicing off dicks instead of tongues.”

“You of all people should know that I don’t quit once I find someone that I want. You have no idea how much that kid would get me on the black market. Hell, even just renting him out to some locals. You’d be surprised how high the corruption goes, Min,” Bosang said flatly, leaning back away from Yoongi’s face.

Yoongi snarled, barely holding himself back from reaching his hands up and strangling the life out of the man.

“I’ll cut you a deal, Yoongi. I take the boy, and I pinky promise not to hurt any of your other buddies.”

“I don’t fucking make deals with serial rapists,” Yoongi hissed.

“Your loss,” Bosang replied. “You might be reconsidering that offer pretty soon.”

He couldn’t fucking take this anymore. Yoongi darted forward, his hands grasping Bosang’s collar and clenching tightly. “You come onto my fucking territory and make threats again my people? Do you know how easily I could end you? How easily I could bring your entire empire down? Three minutes, and I could make everything you know crumble,” he growled into Bosang’s ear. “But do you want to know why I don’t?”

Yoongi paused, heaving breaths.

“Because innocent people would fucking die. So many people would die. This entire fucking city would be in chaos. And I’m not you, Bosang. I don’t get off on other people’s pain. I value human life and I’m not about to let innocents die in the crossfire. But don’t think for one second that I’m afraid to murder you.”

He let go of Bosang’s collar, shoving the man backwards. For the first time in a very long time, Yoongi saw a jolt of shock cross Bosang’s features.

“It would be in your best interests to fuck off,” Yoongi threatened, his body quivering with rage.

He didn’t care anymore. Bosang was skirting along that line again, testing Yoongi, seeing how far he could go before the rope snapped.

The brief look of fear fell from Bosang’s face and left behind a self-satisfied smirk. “I’ll see you around, Yoongi,” he calmly stated, turning on his heel to stroll towards the exit. He was being entirely nonchalant, but Yoongi didn’t miss the unsteadiness in his tone.

Yoongi stood and watched, completely still, as Bosang paced away from him and finally out of his sight. He heard a car driving off in the distance, all screeching tires and thrumming engine. He stared long and hard at the exit of the warehouse, completely lost in thought. His eyes wandered from one bloody body to the next, taking in their features, observing the gunshot wounds in their heads.

With an uncharacteristic gentleness, Yoongi approached the nearest body and kneeled down. The woman’s name had been Boyoung – she was always bright, friendly, despite this hellhole of a city. Of his dealers, Boyoung had been one of the kindest.

With soft hands, Yoongi reached forward and shut her glassy eyes.

He pulled out his phone, called the number of another one of his trusted informants. “Get down to the warehouse on 40th. Bosang left bodies,” Yoongi spoke softly, his tone gentle. “Five of them. Tell the families that the funerals will be paid for.”

He hung up, sliding the phone back into his pocket and running a weary hand down his face. Shit like this was inevitable in such a dangerous job, in such a dangerous city. But Yoongi still fucking hated it. These had been good people, who died for no other reason than unfortunate timing in an unfortunate place.

Yoongi walked around the room, closing the eyes of the rest of the victims, taking silence stock of who had been lost.

He walked out of the warehouse simultaneously enraged and numb.

It was a long walk back to Yoongi’s apartment. In all honesty, his didn’t even want to go to his own apartment – he wanted to stay at Hoseok’s, Jin’s, he didn’t care. He just didn’t want to be alone right now. In all honesty, Yoongi felt weak for the first time in a long time. Some days, this lifestyle was easier to cope with than others. This was a bad day. This was a really bad day.

As if on cue, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. One look at the caller ID put a slight smile onto his face. It was almost like Hobi telepathically just knew when Yoongi needed him.

He tapped the pickup button and held the phone up to his ear. “Yeah?”

“Yoongi,” Hoseok panted, sounding stressed and tense. Immediately Yoongi’s hairs stood up on the back of his neck. Something had gone wrong.

“Hobi, what happened?”

“They attacked the house.”

Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, blood running ice-cold.

“Jungkook and I are fine – the Exorcists came, Tae apparently hired them. Everyone is alive, but we’re all really shaken up. I took Jungkook to my apartment,” Hoseok spoke, sounding exhausted.

“Good, stay there,” Yoongi responded, his heart racing. “Where’s Jimin, was he with you guys?”

“No, he was out shopping when they started shooting at us. He’s not answering his phone, Yoongi.”

Yoongi cursed loudly and paced back and forth on the dark street, running a hand through his hair. “You’re telling me that you have no fucking idea where he is?”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Yoongi, his phone might have died. There’s no way they could have known where he was going,” Hoseok said, sounding more like he was trying to comfort himself than anything. “I have to take care of Jungkook, he’s got some minor injuries. Get some people searching for Jimin and tell me immediately if you find anything out.”

“I will,” Yoongi replied tiredly. This was the last fucking thing he needed right now. His gut curled in fear of what could have happened to Hobi and Jungkook, in fear of what happened to Jimin. “Look after him.”

Yoongi hung up, beginning to walk down he street again and scrolling through his contacts to find Jin’s number. His finger was hovering over the number to dial it, when a sudden jarring noise from the shop to his side caught him off guard. It was the window display of a television store – all of the display TV’s had abruptly turned on, displaying static and playing white noise. Yoongi was about to shake it off when suddenly, the screen changed to a sight hat make his stomach hit the floor.

Glaring down at him from seven different screens was a live video of Park Jimin, limp and bound to a chair, covered head to toe in bruises and blood.

[genamartian]

Him: are you okay?

Me: yeah

Me, internally: Hey poopy, I'm Andy Patton of the East Chicago harbor in Indiana, before reading about my indiana jones lifestyle, have a go at tetris which is about to load, make a high score, and use my page just like your personal black and white gameboy, and relax with me like i'm your lazyboy barcalounger!!

[Here comes the game]
Source: Crazy Games

........... I got a pell grant for film school because i'm poor and might choose Chicago University this fall or winter. i'm single baby!!! But not in the sense where i'm fucking other people n shit, its been 6yrs not being with a woman, I've had 8 dates since jail and got to kiss and hug a girl but that was years ago, I miss human touch, i'm scarred from heartbreak but also i don't succumb to lonesomeness and have someone beside me for the time being as a renter to my heart, i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of dozens of books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me)..... I have 1,000+ short films, 3 films, one of them i killed 80 actors in, its called 'the tenderizer' and it had a zero budget which raked in a few grand of clothing/vhs tape sales.....i have a fantasy novel that can be read in its entirety for free at http: //shakeyquakeyridenovel.blogspot.com/ and it could be bigger than harry potter but nobody reads anymore.... and i have another book you can read for free at http://platdnovel.blogspot.com/ ........... i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, and i've overtaken him in quantity as well in my opinion as quality, i'm to the point and don't drag on bullshit fluff for too long, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place, this earth, but i'm retired and yet i haven't even begun, i'm the type of person that's been all over the world killing warlords and thousands of the cruelest people known to exist, so the mysteriousness is lain in this, am i a serial killer? or just a shadow operative navy seal?........ i've had troll blogs devote themselves to me before, but here's one that's the most recent, i love my haters suhn https://kiwifar.ms/threads/andy-patton-aka-clivedavinci-loveshy-filmmaker-who-is-apparently-the-true-creator-of-dexter.11274/ ........i really am a mass murderer, my reins controlled by the police, and knowledge of me by other precincts one by one, year by year, being like an internal affairs of hitmen for them, to the most redtape entanglements that bother each depeartment, all secret, commissioned by a government program later, and then after my r.o.t.c i took out of highschol, where i aimed high towards the air force the seals nabbed me out of the air force, my intellect and my physical attributes is extremely rare, i could’ve easily gotten a wrestling scholarship to purdue after i had a walk on match with a dude from iowa and slammed his huge cornfed ass to the mat so hard he got hurt, i realized i can’t be invovled in regular heights of the elite, i couldn’t go backwards from what i had became, since i was a boy i’ve been in china in training programs, i honestly led a life just like d.a.r.y.l the movie, exept i wasn’t a robot, even figuratively in the sense of a sociopathic mindless servant or psycho, i was bombarded by compassionate teachings, my mother a police officer the leadrope to all of this, allowing this, she’s caught serial killers and crimelords, and one time it backfired, horrible men came and abducted me, and tortured me, they bordered on white supremecy and satanists, my mom didn’t find me that long month, the police didn’t find me, this was even in a newspaper, but all knowledge of this ever happening has been redacted and destroyed, nobody could find me, i was 6yrs old, three powerful men sexualy abused me, physically burned me, broke my bones, my rectum had been split open, i was beaten purple with my eyes swollen every couple days when i started to heal, where they would bust me up again, nobody knew where i was, on one of the most high profile cases my mom ever took, she did come to rescue me with the murderers in the house still there, in their total ignorance of evil and what they can get away with, with a young innocent boy, they left their knife that they cut me with on the mattress 3 seconds too long, and i turned into chucky, i snapped, i had absolutely no fear, i didn’t wanna run out of a door, blood pooled all over the floor, it was always my blood, seeing your reflection in your own pool of blood as you cry for help night after night as you lay to try to get comfy to sleep which you can’t becuase you’re bruised all over, does something to someone, something snaps, like how a virgin’s skin does when a scumbag pops their cherry, i became chucky, i had developed tactical defense, and didn’t keep stabbing one of them, i sliced one of them down crying, then hid and waited for the next and sliced him, and i waited many hours in the house, not leaving, not picking up the phone yet, waiting for the other to arrive, in the dark i came at him, where he had no time to react, i climbed and took the bulbs out, and easily made my way to get him too before he saw the scene int he bedroom, i sliced away his achilles as i jutted out behind a couch, those long hours before he came and met his demise, i’d played, like a child with toys, but i played with my knife, a memento i still have, a murder weapon of the most grotesque, i stabbed at every part of their skin, i even kept one of them alive, and took out each of his eyes andn let him squirm around, something inside me took over, and it was GOOD as much as it had been horrible, it must’ve been something put there by god and vengence, and i finally called my mom and we talked on the phone, booking had listened in, her friends, i explained but they were confused, i told them they were still in the house with me and they can come over,i couldn’t talk properly, i hadn’t really known what i’d done, it was like i was possessed, i blubbered crying on the phone just hearing her voice, she was the first one to the scene, there were other cops that came later, which contradicted a way out for me that she would have to face, her son, which the world woudln’t wanna face, and instituionalize me for, those cops got fired for something she had to fenagle, it was her son, or them, you’re forgetting that i was a murderer, although 6, doesn’t matter, all the murderers were stilll in the house, but they were all dead, and cut to pieces, and it took my mom probaby 10 full minutes to unclench my hand around my knife, and dthat was only because i allowed it, because we came to a truce where she’d let me keep it, it was a part of me now, it saved me, it helped me, it was my friend, yes i wrote a novel predating dexter called boathopper where its science fiction, but the myth of a dexter like child in blood had been passed around precincts long before that, it was covered up but there’s always trace gossip, it became a legend, i’ve worked in moscow with putin, i’ve been taught by spies, everytime i’m pulled over the cops freak out becuaase my rapsheet is so long, and that’s just in america, but i’m always a victim or witness, i’m always acting and protecting people, never a bad person, just misunderstood, all the cops protect me, all the agents, the stint i did in calif was my exes doing, i remember traveling ALOT, missing alot of school, but always coming back, pretending to be in school, hanging out with my friends, iwas bombarded by animals, i loved animals, i wasn’t a maniac to ever hurt one no matter my blood rage, but i was taken to villages a round the world to share love with good people and experiences, and to always train, and to even kill, i needed to kill, a lifetime of killing, decades of it, thousands of horriblly evil people around the world, especially china, india and the middleeast before soldiers ever got there, was my purpose in life, i could chameleon into any cell, or group, i was invisible and innocent, and with training i was a weapon, all my education when to combat and stealth and learning many languages, and i served my agency proud, and when i tried to resume a regular life i couldn’t, i was hurting people in sports, not really trying to, my training i held back on, and just used physical standards, but i had too much rage, its like i wanted to see people bleed, i’d been around the world helping animals, trained as an assassin, trained by seals, educated by scholars, there are good sects in this world when you’re facing incredible circumstnces, as well as bad sects like terrorists or satanists, and they caught wind and found my mom as she had sought something like them too, onlhy a few people know about this, after the rotc, i went to the air force for a few months, then leaped to the seals and i’ve been putting away badguys, and hopping back to the states for my character andn presence ever since, i’m a honed tactician, i’m beyond liam neeson, i’m a good person, i have compassion for everyone, but i have a screw loose, and i need love, and i’ll never find it, i’m calmed now and ptsd of wartime endevours you just get used to, compared to childhood traumas, i’m retired, vocalization and protest is what changes laws and leading by example helps animals in the world, i just need someone to spend my life with now, i had a good girl once, who was teetering on the side of cdraziness, enough crazy and cool to put up with me, but she was taken by this horrible world, i needed saved and she abandoned me, her best friend, i’m looking for someone new to come into my life and not be so fussy and close minded,k i’m still just a child needing affection, someone save me ......i'm the funniest person probably in the world in person, but i've gotten shy and reclusive the last decade, from my loved ones dissected and murdered in hospitals, to love stricken from me like a lightening bolt, i used to love dancing in clubs/weddings with any hot girl, but i could never dance again having lived the shit i've went through with my ex slowing metamorphasizing into a prostitute, and it began from the attention she got from me taking her out to clubs and being mixed in an elite environment and dancing with her making her feel a little bit too great to the point she needed to have that drug 24/7, so she slowly went out and forged it, dancing is the work of the devil i know see, its like that george michael song 'i'm never gonna dance again' love just gets taken from you and you become a bitter person because of it, i'm still funny, but it has to be the right setting, i have to be feeling good or buzzed or have a fleeting bliss of happiness, i can get really fucking dark sometimes to the point its scary, you mix i've been an eliete in sports amongst other things in my life, alongside my talented writing that's grosser and more depicting and original than anything clive or king could right, and you'll have a formula of fear, i mean one story i killed god himself, its on my fb in my notes titled 'the after', i've cursed god for the last couple decades of my life, not because i'm an atheiest or don't believe in a god entirely, but because if there was one, i figured he was absolute evil, like a parent abandoning children in a dingy motel or something, forced to fend for themselves because they don't know better, i have many thoughts on god but i'm a philosopher too, so that's a topic that can go on forever, for the most part, i vent, i'm fuming mad, but i'm the most passive human being you'll ever known, and the people beating upon me in life can attest to it, you see those vines or gifs with cats beating the shit out of large enormous strong dogs? well that's me, no matter what i'll never bite, i just seem to bark alot because i'm lonely, and still so heartbroken, i've never filled in that gap of a 'friend' or a 'fuckpal' or a partner in my life since my breakup, i'm not doing it right, like everyone else copes, i don't deal with death the same either, i'm careless to it and am enlightened to not get attached anymore, to anything, seeing dozens of my family put in the ground, it just takes a toll of carelessness, its something i don't want to deal with anymore, my cat was the height of all the bad in my life, a year ago my sister allowed this prostitute that was living next to me in my room to throw a fuckparty in the entire house, and my cat kidiot got outside, and this was when i was tossed out of that drughouse for not reason on top of it by the very multiple cops that were banging my sister, someone i cared about, and my cat kidiot who i've had a decade, got trapped and starved to death in a hot shed, just a glimpse at the kind of shit i have to go through ad cry over in my life, and its not because i'm a bad person, and its not from strangers, its from people closest to me, its always like that for me and i'm uncertain why........15 of my short films are pretty good, but maybe i'm just being modest and don't determine my worth properly,you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance ............ i was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I differ in opinion about bisexuals, not for them personally, but from my own experiences of people being able to fuck how many people they want without consquence to character, the last time i checked if someone was unsure if they liked women or men more they weren't tasting all those crotches, they went about their business and didn't need a stamp that i feel is an equivalent to yelling 'hey i'm in bars fucking this guy, fucking that guy and i don't give a fuck', well that's fine, live how you want, but in your abundances of pussy/dick and indecision, i'm all alone, and i'd be humbled to just hold and love ONE PERSON, and that's were the idea of the 'title' not the 'person' bisexual comes into conflict with me, its saying 'i'm samantha from sex and the city and slopping up weiners and hot snatches left and right, so fuck you', i don't hate anyone, i'm understanding of nearly anything, i try my hardest to dissuade violence or hate in any way i can, i just think the terminology used to describe someone as a bisexual is just for show, if they don't know if they love and man or woman, who's to say they even love men or women? but their travels and undertakings of trying to find that out are being stamped and revealed for all the world to know about, and i don't dislike it, i just think its as tacky as me posting my boner videos in my underwear is all, its sleazy to your eyes, but you don't understand me right, like i woudn't understand you? in such perversion there is actual sweetness in me and reasons i do this crazy shit, bisexuals and their silly title which is basically just saying you're a hippi is just offputing to some, like me who had a girl i loved who became bisexual, yet all she's doing is fucking people for money, and i bet alot of people have sex and not for love and in doing that i'd never wanna be stamped with something, in a broad sense sure, but me, i'm an individual and i'm kind and good and accepting of all of you and love all of you so what the fuck matters our personal bickerings ya know?....... stupid groups of people like most feminists, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, bother me, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats not really doing anything, having a campus activity n shit, not empassioned deeper, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, i think i used to be bitter about hipsters too, just anyone who is phony as fuck, hell it could even be described as a rare unicorn of a girl i liked, doesn't matter, superficiality annoys me more than anything......... like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, seeing those depictions in 'bruno' or something, or me personally jacking off to threesomes n shit in porn is one thing but if you're gonna come on my page and bitch and moan i think that's 'sleazy' since it doesn't invovle TWO people, but instead involves multiple people, then you're just dumb,.............. i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it

[couldbeyourlife]

that’s a party platter it serves 12 people

avengers done been assembled spoilers below the cut ramble ramble garble garble hyperbole and capslock 

Caveats(?) as it were? My reactions are my own and not a judgment of anyone else’s feelings, thoughts, or reactions. There are like, many paths to the rainbow, dude. It ain’t that deep here for the most part. In this movie especially, there were a lot of moments where my feelings can be summed up with:

Also, Steve and Natasha are my babies my faves I love them most and best. 

Overall, liked MUCH MUCH better than IW. IW focused way the hell too much on people IDGAF about. This one was about the OGs and people I care about so I am here. for. that. 

Has me thinking reallllllly how much of all of this is about getting that Moment On Screen. The “avengers assemble” or steve with the hammer or w/e. Things as “fans” we all have these images of in our imaginations or have seen on page and grown to see as iconic. And really, so very much of all of the Avengers movies mostly seem to be plots strung along to get to those moments? Which, I mean is it what it is. That’s what comic book team up Event Books are about. We’re getting an 18 months crossover event stuffed into a couple of hours BASICALLY. This movie, even more than the others, felt most like a comic book. 

I yelled “fuck you” at least twice at the screen to Tony in the first 20 minutes. The entire thing between him and Steve after Tony gets back was so very not a good look. 

I mean Tony was worse and then better and god as a character he is just so much better in HIS OWN MOVIES. JESUS GOD. Let me stop at IM3 and sing Adele at that. I mean, he’s dead now which works for his arc within the avengers movies. I’m glad he got to form a baby? Ugh. I still find the Iron Man --> Spidey thing odd in the MCU since Spidey is the og really here, y’all. IDK MAN. 

“HEY QUEENS” MY HEART IT HURTS.

All of Steve and Natasha’s interactions made me clap with JOY. It made me want so much MORE of team Cap’s initial time on the run and then afterward with the two of them. UGH. The fact that Natasha is what Steve is crying about in that crying scene from the trailer? JUST LEAVE ME IN THE ROAD TO DIE OKAY.

Which gets to, I am super very glad I both waited and was spoiled. There were a lot of things I would have been less down with if it had been a LE TWIST! if I didn’t know. Such as the failed mission to kill thanos. Also, if Natasha’s death had been unspoiled for me I probably would have gotten the fuck up and walked out the theater yelling OH FUCK ALL Y’ALL.

SAME BUT DIFFERENT FOR LEBOWSKI THOR. EVEN KNOWING IT WAS COMING I WAS STILL BASICALLY THE THIRSTIEST FUCKING BITCH IN THE UNIVERSE WHEN HE WAS REVEALED AND EVERY FUCKING MOMENT AFTER THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SUITED THE FUCK UP. Had I not been prepared I probably would have thrown my bra at the screen. I mean y’all my fucking husband for life is jack black i gots a type. my eyes are just rolling back in my head w/e w/e w/e I’ll get to Thor more later I just gotta thirst all over this god damn page because UGHa;ldafdaadf9df;/ ; I KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT, SON.

if you aren’t here for wanting ten million pages of lebowski thor and bearded cap fucking then idek 

Speaking of the porn. The following are things I want: Five year gap Steve/Natasha, Natasha/Carol, STEVE/NATASHA/CAROL, Thor/Valkyrie, Carol/Valkyrie, Carol/Thor/Valkyrie (GOD BLESS YOU, TESSA AND BRIE)

CAROL DANVER’S SHEER DEEP POWERFUL LESBIAN POWER AND ENERGY MADE ME SWOON EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON SCREEN. I loved her interactions with everyone of course. Her eye roll at Rhodey at the start was grate. Enjoyed what interactions we had of her and Steve A LOT. I clapped when he radioed to Danvers during the big scene. 

SCOTT LANG BEST AVENGER OR MOST BEST AVENGER Y/MFY/CAP’S ASS IS THE BEST ASS SIR ROGERS CAPTAIN SIR???!!! 

Really, Scott is and was the best and I just loved him so much. Definately one of the characters that can keep me engaged with the MCU going forward (see also: Carol and T’Challa)

I have so many frustrated and angry feelings about Natasha’s death. I get what people are saying about her and full circle etc. But I think that’s all bullshit really. It is a narrative choice to make that her arc? Like, her entire thing was she had things to make up and redeem herself for. Tony’s entire thing was that he was a selfish dick that learned to be unselfish. Natasha didn’t have a self-sacrifice problem. SHE WAS RAISED TO BE A GOD DAMN WEAPON. SHE’S A SURVIVOR because that’s what a weapon does and there is a huge difference in that.  I get they needed to rid themselves of several of the OG Avengers so Dead Tony, Time Jump Steve, and Natasha being dead? I just. I’m too tired to get into hardcore, but I am mad. I will be mad and I will stay mad. Like, I get why they did it, but the writers MADE THAT CHOICE and so I am perma fucking pressed about it. 

I honestly dgaf about the GotG and anything related to them and any moment with any of those characters, other than the Rabbit and Thor together, was basically dead airspace. I just DON’T FUCKING CARE. So every minute with them was wasted except for Thor. Oh THOR. Honestly, talk about a dude that started at the bottom for me and now we at the top. (THAT’S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET, TONY STARK FOR BEINGdl;af). Ahem. I feel like Thor’s arc made sense to me? Like he gets to go be the sort of person he’s always wanted to be who he is inside which is PROBABLY a well meaning and heroic semi-frat boy who wants to play with his Rabbit friend and have adventures and drink beer? His entire thing has been about how much he was or wasn’t able to be a good person v. a good king etc and idk IT WORKED FOR ME and he had one of the better OG endings imo. Also, like THOR HAS SEEN SOME SHIT? SOME REAL ASS SHIT THAT HE GETS TO HAVE SOME FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUT? AND REAL ASS SHIT THAT HIS LIFE UP UNTIL SHIT GOT REAL DID NOT PREPARE HIM FOR AT ALL?  Like, I made a C on a paper in grad school and drank an entire bottle of champagne and fell off a chair. I GET IT. (I get a lot of this in the meta context comes from Hemsworth being fucking miserable with what they were doing with Thor because it SUCKED and people realizing that he’s fucking HILARIOUS and rolling with that). Also, a lot of the upset people seem to be really attached to Loki and liek w/e, but who hurt you? 

Speaking of OGs. The entire Bruce/Hulk thing was weird. I get they were real into what they could do special effects wise but... idk man. I wasn’t here for it?

No one cares about Hawkeye. I mean I know there are people that say that but like. Him?

ON YOUR LEFT, CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU DON’T LOVE SAM WILSON AND SHIP HIM AND STEVE IDK WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WHAT YOUR PRIORITIES ARE? 

SAM WILSON CAPTAIN AMERICA IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND NEEDED OTHER THAN THE OTHER THINGS I HAVE ALSO WANTED AND NEEDED.

Which gets us to the last two and biggest two things: Steve and MCU’s entire time travel theory? They even SAY the BttF time travel theory and hint at the multiverse/DC theory of time travel. They seem to be hitting to something closer to the Umbrella Academy where what is going to happen is going to happen except?????????? HOW IT DOESN’T but it also can split into other realities but only because of the stones or? (This is also where the entire event book crossover Big Bad is always annoying because a) everything bad ends up being about that and b) there is way the hell too much bg mythology to care about. Hydra - Nazis MAKES SENSE! Evil Grimace abuses his daughters for fun and profit and wants to make the universe great again but thinks LotR didn’t go far enough with the jewelry thing???) AHEM. I mean, I got to a point where I was like, “this is the most 2019 movie because evil is inevitable because Hope is a Lie and Evil Always wins UNLESS YOU CAN BEND TIME TO YOUR WILL except nope not even that HA HA”  So, I can’t really lockdown the internal logic completely on the MCU theory of time travel. It is sort of making sense until we get to Steve’s ending? 

SO. 

I have no dislike of this. It is cute. It is fine. It is what Steve deserved. Hell, it is what Peggy deserved. There are other ways it could have went and I would have been down with that too? I’ve been prepared for Steve to die for like 4 years now so you know, this is fine. It removes Cap from the action equation so CEvans like ScarJo and RDJ can be free. I think, if you’re inclined that way there are a ton of character questions you can ask there? Things to pick at and find interesting. I enjoyed Steve’s entire thing this movie immensely (his interactions with 2012 self were great. Him using Bucky against himself I thought was amazing). But here is where I start questioning the time logic which can be summarized with:

WHAT ABOUT POPSICLE STEVE?

Is there a Steve floating out in the ocean still to be found in 2011? There would need to be a Cap from 2011-2019 to put other people in place. You don’t have Sam and Bucky (for example) where they are at UNLESS THERE IS CAP AT THAT POINT??????? Which makes sense because there has to be a Steve to go back to Peggy (AWWW MY HEART IT HURTS), SO does it reform the mobius strip of the timeline to where Steve was ALWAYS in the past with Peggy (but on the downlow???????? WAS HE JUST TOTES NOT STEVE CARTER HUSBAND OF PEGGY CARTER and IDK taught P.E. in Brooklyn???) and so it basically reforms itself to where what was happened always happened but it MEANS that popsicle Steve and Steve from the future that is now in the past exist at the same time and THEN STEVE HAS TO NOT MAKE OUT IN HIS UNDERWEAR WITH HIS OWN MOM????? Or? Like, Hulk even says that when you mess with time, time messes back what are the consequences? Are there? At some point wouldn’t THAT cause some sort of weird paradox? I realize I’m asking SRS questions about fictional time travel so really who is the broken weirdo here me or Marvel (MARVEL OBVIOUSLY?). I’ve read a lot of theories on this and explanations, but none of which really satisfy me. 

and REALLY isn’t that the most comic book thing of it all? The points don’t count and the rules don’t matter. I mean that in the best way possible, really. Fine, it was a yellow bug in Hal Jordan’s brain all along. Oh okay, Barry Allen’s grandson from the future? SURE WHATEVER. I eagerly look forward to ten years from now some fucking fetus getting cast as a new Captain America and being able to yell at whippersnappers how the only REAL CAPTAIN AMERICA IS CHRIS EVANS I HAVE BEEN THIRSTING CORRECTLY SINCE 2009 YOU PUNK ASS LITTLE BITCHES. 

[ofools]

look at this dude’s fucking bio

warning: its ridiculously fucking long

Hey poopy, I'm Andy Patton of the East Chicago harbor in Indiana, before reading about my indiana jones lifestyle, have a go at tetris which is about to load, make a high score, and use my page just like your personal black and white gameboy, and relax with me like i'm your lazyboy barcalounger!!

[Here comes the game] Source: Crazy Games

........... I got a pell grant for film school because i'm poor and might choose Chicago University this fall or winter. i'm single baby!!! But not in the sense where i'm fucking other people n shit, its been 6yrs not being with a woman, I've had 8 dates since jail and got to kiss and hug a girl but that was years ago, I miss human touch, i'm scarred from heartbreak but also i don't succumb to lonesomeness and have someone beside me for the time being as a renter to my heart, i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of dozens of books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me)..... I have 1,000+ short films, 3 films, one of them i killed 80 actors in, its called 'the tenderizer' and it had a zero budget which raked in a few grand of clothing/vhs tape sales.....i have a fantasy novel that can be read in its entirety for free at http://shakeyquakeyridenovel.blogspot.com/ and it could be bigger than harry potter but nobody reads anymore.... and i have another book you can read for free at http://platdnovel.blogspot.com/ ........... i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, and i've overtaken him in quantity as well in my opinion as quality, i'm to the point and don't drag on bullshit fluff for too long, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place, this earth, but i'm retired and yet i haven't even begun, i'm the type of person that's been all over the world killing warlords and thousands of the cruelest people known to exist, so the mysteriousness is lain in this, am i a serial killer? or just a shadow operative navy seal?........ i've had troll blogs devote themselves to me before, but here's one that's the most recent, i love my haters suhn https://kiwifar.ms/threads/andy-patton-aka-clivedavinci-loveshy-filmmaker-who-is-apparently-the-true-creator-of-dexter.11274/ ........i really am a mass murderer, my reins controlled by the police, and knowledge of me by other precincts one by one, year by year, being like an internal affairs of hitmen for them, to the most redtape entanglements that bother each depeartment, all secret, commissioned by a government program later, and then after my r.o.t.c i took out of highschol, where i aimed high towards the air force the seals nabbed me out of the air force, my intellect and my physical attributes is extremely rare, i could’ve easily gotten a wrestling scholarship to purdue after i had a walk on match with a dude from iowa and slammed his huge cornfed ass to the mat so hard he got hurt, i realized i can’t be invovled in regular heights of the elite, i couldn’t go backwards from what i had became, since i was a boy i’ve been in china in training programs, i honestly led a life just like d.a.r.y.l the movie, exept i wasn’t a robot, even figuratively in the sense of a sociopathic mindless servant or psycho, i was bombarded by compassionate teachings, my mother a police officer the leadrope to all of this, allowing this, she’s caught serial killers and crimelords, and one time it backfired, horrible men came and abducted me, and tortured me, they bordered on white supremecy and satanists, my mom didn’t find me that long month, the police didn’t find me, this was even in a newspaper, but all knowledge of this ever happening has been redacted and destroyed, nobody could find me, i was 6yrs old, three powerful men sexualy abused me, physically burned me, broke my bones, my rectum had been split open, i was beaten purple with my eyes swollen every couple days when i started to heal, where they would bust me up again, nobody knew where i was, on one of the most high profile cases my mom ever took, she did come to rescue me with the murderers in the house still there, in their total ignorance of evil and what they can get away with, with a young innocent boy, they left their knife that they cut me with on the mattress 3 seconds too long, and i turned into chucky, i snapped, i had absolutely no fear, i didn’t wanna run out of a door, blood pooled all over the floor, it was always my blood, seeing your reflection in your own pool of blood as you cry for help night after night as you lay to try to get comfy to sleep which you can’t becuase you’re bruised all over, does something to someone, something snaps, like how a virgin’s skin does when a scumbag pops their cherry, i became chucky, i had developed tactical defense, and didn’t keep stabbing one of them, i sliced one of them down crying, then hid and waited for the next and sliced him, and i waited many hours in the house, not leaving, not picking up the phone yet, waiting for the other to arrive, in the dark i came at him, where he had no time to react, i climbed and took the bulbs out, and easily made my way to get him too before he saw the scene int he bedroom, i sliced away his achilles as i jutted out behind a couch, those long hours before he came and met his demise, i’d played, like a child with toys, but i played with my knife, a memento i still have, a murder weapon of the most grotesque, i stabbed at every part of their skin, i even kept one of them alive, and took out each of his eyes andn let him squirm around, something inside me took over, and it was GOOD as much as it had been horrible, it must’ve been something put there by god and vengence, and i finally called my mom and we talked on the phone, booking had listened in, her friends, i explained but they were confused, i told them they were still in the house with me and they can come over,i couldn’t talk properly, i hadn’t really known what i’d done, it was like i was possessed, i blubbered crying on the phone just hearing her voice, she was the first one to the scene, there were other cops that came later, which contradicted a way out for me that she would have to face, her son, which the world woudln’t wanna face, and instituionalize me for, those cops got fired for something she had to fenagle, it was her son, or them, you’re forgetting that i was a murderer, although 6, doesn’t matter, all the murderers were stilll in the house, but they were all dead, and cut to pieces, and it took my mom probaby 10 full minutes to unclench my hand around my knife, and dthat was only because i allowed it, because we came to a truce where she’d let me keep it, it was a part of me now, it saved me, it helped me, it was my friend, yes i wrote a novel predating dexter called boathopper where its science fiction, but the myth of a dexter like child in blood had been passed around precincts long before that, it was covered up but there’s always trace gossip, it became a legend, i’ve worked in moscow with putin, i’ve been taught by spies, everytime i’m pulled over the cops freak out becuaase my rapsheet is so long, and that’s just in america, but i’m always a victim or witness, i’m always acting and protecting people, never a bad person, just misunderstood, all the cops protect me, all the agents, the stint i did in calif was my exes doing, i remember traveling ALOT, missing alot of school, but always coming back, pretending to be in school, hanging out with my friends, iwas bombarded by animals, i loved animals, i wasn’t a maniac to ever hurt one no matter my blood rage, but i was taken to villages a round the world to share love with good people and experiences, and to always train, and to even kill, i needed to kill, a lifetime of killing, decades of it, thousands of horriblly evil people around the world, especially china, india and the middleeast before soldiers ever got there, was my purpose in life, i could chameleon into any cell, or group, i was invisible and innocent, and with training i was a weapon, all my education when to combat and stealth and learning many languages, and i served my agency proud, and when i tried to resume a regular life i couldn’t, i was hurting people in sports, not really trying to, my training i held back on, and just used physical standards, but i had too much rage, its like i wanted to see people bleed, i’d been around the world helping animals, trained as an assassin, trained by seals, educated by scholars, there are good sects in this world when you’re facing incredible circumstnces, as well as bad sects like terrorists or satanists, and they caught wind and found my mom as she had sought something like them too, onlhy a few people know about this, after the rotc, i went to the air force for a few months, then leaped to the seals and i’ve been putting away badguys, and hopping back to the states for my character andn presence ever since, i’m a honed tactician, i’m beyond liam neeson, i’m a good person, i have compassion for everyone, but i have a screw loose, and i need love, and i’ll never find it, i’m calmed now and ptsd of wartime endevours you just get used to, compared to childhood traumas, i’m retired, vocalization and protest is what changes laws and leading by example helps animals in the world, i just need someone to spend my life with now, i had a good girl once, who was teetering on the side of cdraziness, enough crazy and cool to put up with me, but she was taken by this horrible world, i needed saved and she abandoned me, her best friend, i’m looking for someone new to come into my life and not be so fussy and close minded,k i’m still just a child needing affection, someone save me ......i'm the funniest person probably in the world in person, but i've gotten shy and reclusive the last decade, from my loved ones dissected and murdered in hospitals, to love stricken from me like a lightening bolt, i used to love dancing in clubs/weddings with any hot girl, but i could never dance again having lived the shit i've went through with my ex slowing metamorphasizing into a prostitute, and it began from the attention she got from me taking her out to clubs and being mixed in an elite environment and dancing with her making her feel a little bit too great to the point she needed to have that drug 24/7, so she slowly went out and forged it, dancing is the work of the devil i know see, its like that george michael song 'i'm never gonna dance again' love just gets taken from you and you become a bitter person because of it, i'm still funny, but it has to be the right setting, i have to be feeling good or buzzed or have a fleeting bliss of happiness, i can get really fucking dark sometimes to the point its scary, you mix i've been an eliete in sports amongst other things in my life, alongside my talented writing that's grosser and more depicting and original than anything clive or king could right, and you'll have a formula of fear, i mean one story i killed god himself, its on my fb in my notes titled 'the after', i've cursed god for the last couple decades of my life, not because i'm an atheiest or don't believe in a god entirely, but because if there was one, i figured he was absolute evil, like a parent abandoning children in a dingy motel or something, forced to fend for themselves because they don't know better, i have many thoughts on god but i'm a philosopher too, so that's a topic that can go on forever, for the most part, i vent, i'm fuming mad, but i'm the most passive human being you'll ever known, and the people beating upon me in life can attest to it, you see those vines or gifs with cats beating the shit out of large enormous strong dogs? well that's me, no matter what i'll never bite, i just seem to bark alot because i'm lonely, and still so heartbroken, i've never filled in that gap of a 'friend' or a 'fuckpal' or a partner in my life since my breakup, i'm not doing it right, like everyone else copes, i don't deal with death the same either, i'm careless to it and am enlightened to not get attached anymore, to anything, seeing dozens of my family put in the ground, it just takes a toll of carelessness, its something i don't want to deal with anymore, my cat was the height of all the bad in my life, a year ago my sister allowed this prostitute that was living next to me in my room to throw a fuckparty in the entire house, and my cat kidiot got outside, and this was when i was tossed out of that drughouse for not reason on top of it by the very multiple cops that were banging my sister, someone i cared about, and my cat kidiot who i've had a decade, got trapped and starved to death in a hot shed, just a glimpse at the kind of shit i have to go through ad cry over in my life, and its not because i'm a bad person, and its not from strangers, its from people closest to me, its always like that for me and i'm uncertain why........15 of my short films are pretty good, but maybe i'm just being modest and don't determine my worth properly,you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance ............ i was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I differ in opinion about bisexuals, not for them personally, but from my own experiences of people being able to fuck how many people they want without consquence to character, the last time i checked if someone was unsure if they liked women or men more they weren't tasting all those crotches, they went about their business and didn't need a stamp that i feel is an equivalent to yelling 'hey i'm in bars fucking this guy, fucking that guy and i don't give a fuck', well that's fine, live how you want, but in your abundances of pussy/dick and indecision, i'm all alone, and i'd be humbled to just hold and love ONE PERSON, and that's were the idea of the 'title' not the 'person' bisexual comes into conflict with me, its saying 'i'm samantha from sex and the city and slopping up weiners and hot snatches left and right, so fuck you', i don't hate anyone, i'm understanding of nearly anything, i try my hardest to dissuade violence or hate in any way i can, i just think the terminology used to describe someone as a bisexual is just for show, if they don't know if they love and man or woman, who's to say they even love men or women? but their travels and undertakings of trying to find that out are being stamped and revealed for all the world to know about, and i don't dislike it, i just think its as tacky as me posting my boner videos in my underwear is all, its sleazy to your eyes, but you don't understand me right, like i woudn't understand you? in such perversion there is actual sweetness in me and reasons i do this crazy shit, bisexuals and their silly title which is basically just saying you're a hippi is just offputing to some, like me who had a girl i loved who became bisexual, yet all she's doing is fucking people for money, and i bet alot of people have sex and not for love and in doing that i'd never wanna be stamped with something, in a broad sense sure, but me, i'm an individual and i'm kind and good and accepting of all of you and love all of you so what the fuck matters our personal bickerings ya know?....... stupid groups of people like most feminists, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, bother me, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats not really doing anything, having a campus activity n shit, not empassioned deeper, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, i think i used to be bitter about hipsters too, just anyone who is phony as fuck, hell it could even be described as a rare unicorn of a girl i liked, doesn't matter, superficiality annoys me more than anything......... like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, seeing those depictions in 'bruno' or something, or me personally jacking off to threesomes n shit in porn is one thing but if you're gonna come on my page and bitch and moan i think that's 'sleazy' since it doesn't invovle TWO people, but instead involves multiple people, then you're just dumb,.............. i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it

[spatialapprentice]

Hey poopy, I'm Andy Patton of the East Chicago harbor in Indiana, before reading about my indiana jones lifestyle, have a go at tetris which is about to load, make a high score, and use my page just like your personal black and white gameboy, and relax with me like i'm your lazyboy barcalounger!! Get Adobe Flash player Source: Crazy Games ........... I got a pell grant for film school because i'm poor and might choose Chicago University this fall or winter. i'm single baby!!! But not in the sense where i'm fucking other people n shit, its been 6yrs not being with a woman, I've had 8 dates since jail and got to kiss and hug a girl but that was years ago, I miss human touch, i'm scarred from heartbreak but also i don't succumb to lonesomeness and have someone beside me for the time being as a renter to my heart, i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of dozens of books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me)..... I have 1,000+ short films, 3 films, one of them i killed 80 actors in, its called 'the tenderizer' and it had a zero budget which raked in a few grand of clothing/vhs tape sales.....i have a fantasy novel that can be read in its entirety for free at http://shakeyquakeyridenovel.blogspot.com/ and it could be bigger than harry potter but nobody reads anymore.... and i have another book you can read for free at http://platdnovel.blogspot.com/ ........... i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, and i've overtaken him in quantity as well in my opinion as quality, i'm to the point and don't drag on bullshit fluff for too long, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place, this earth, but i'm retired and yet i haven't even begun, i'm the type of person that's been all over the world killing warlords and thousands of the cruelest people known to exist, so the mysteriousness is lain in this, am i a serial killer? or just a shadow operative navy seal?........ i've had troll blogs devote themselves to me before, but here's one that's the most recent, i love my haters suhn https://kiwifar.ms/threads/andy-patton-aka-clivedavinci-loveshy-filmmaker-who-is-apparently-the-true-creator-of-dexter.11274/ ........i really am a mass murderer, my reins controlled by the police, and knowledge of me by other precincts one by one, year by year, being like an internal affairs of hitmen for them, to the most redtape entanglements that bother each depeartment, all secret, commissioned by a government program later, and then after my r.o.t.c i took out of highschol, where i aimed high towards the air force the seals nabbed me out of the air force, my intellect and my physical attributes is extremely rare, i could’ve easily gotten a wrestling scholarship to purdue after i had a walk on match with a dude from iowa and slammed his huge cornfed ass to the mat so hard he got hurt, i realized i can’t be invovled in regular heights of the elite, i couldn’t go backwards from what i had became, since i was a boy i’ve been in china in training programs, i honestly led a life just like d.a.r.y.l the movie, exept i wasn’t a robot, even figuratively in the sense of a sociopathic mindless servant or psycho, i was bombarded by compassionate teachings, my mother a police officer the leadrope to all of this, allowing this, she’s caught serial killers and crimelords, and one time it backfired, horrible men came and abducted me, and tortured me, they bordered on white supremecy and satanists, my mom didn’t find me that long month, the police didn’t find me, this was even in a newspaper, but all knowledge of this ever happening has been redacted and destroyed, nobody could find me, i was 6yrs old, three powerful men sexualy abused me, physically burned me, broke my bones, my rectum had been split open, i was beaten purple with my eyes swollen every couple days when i started to heal, where they would bust me up again, nobody knew where i was, on one of the most high profile cases my mom ever took, she did come to rescue me with the murderers in the house still there, in their total ignorance of evil and what they can get away with, with a young innocent boy, they left their knife that they cut me with on the mattress 3 seconds too long, and i turned into chucky, i snapped, i had absolutely no fear, i didn’t wanna run out of a door, blood pooled all over the floor, it was always my blood, seeing your reflection in your own pool of blood as you cry for help night after night as you lay to try to get comfy to sleep which you can’t becuase you’re bruised all over, does something to someone, something snaps, like how a virgin’s skin does when a scumbag pops their cherry, i became chucky, i had developed tactical defense, and didn’t keep stabbing one of them, i sliced one of them down crying, then hid and waited for the next and sliced him, and i waited many hours in the house, not leaving, not picking up the phone yet, waiting for the other to arrive, in the dark i came at him, where he had no time to react, i climbed and took the bulbs out, and easily made my way to get him too before he saw the scene int he bedroom, i sliced away his achilles as i jutted out behind a couch, those long hours before he came and met his demise, i’d played, like a child with toys, but i played with my knife, a memento i still have, a murder weapon of the most grotesque, i stabbed at every part of their skin, i even kept one of them alive, and took out each of his eyes andn let him squirm around, something inside me took over, and it was GOOD as much as it had been horrible, it must’ve been something put there by god and vengence, and i finally called my mom and we talked on the phone, booking had listened in, her friends, i explained but they were confused, i told them they were still in the house with me and they can come over,i couldn’t talk properly, i hadn’t really known what i’d done, it was like i was possessed, i blubbered crying on the phone just hearing her voice, she was the first one to the scene, there were other cops that came later, which contradicted a way out for me that she would have to face, her son, which the world woudln’t wanna face, and instituionalize me for, those cops got fired for something she had to fenagle, it was her son, or them, you’re forgetting that i was a murderer, although 6, doesn’t matter, all the murderers were stilll in the house, but they were all dead, and cut to pieces, and it took my mom probaby 10 full minutes to unclench my hand around my knife, and dthat was only because i allowed it, because we came to a truce where she’d let me keep it, it was a part of me now, it saved me, it helped me, it was my friend, yes i wrote a novel predating dexter called boathopper where its science fiction, but the myth of a dexter like child in blood had been passed around precincts long before that, it was covered up but there’s always trace gossip, it became a legend, i’ve worked in moscow with putin, i’ve been taught by spies, everytime i’m pulled over the cops freak out becuaase my rapsheet is so long, and that’s just in america, but i’m always a victim or witness, i’m always acting and protecting people, never a bad person, just misunderstood, all the cops protect me, all the agents, the stint i did in calif was my exes doing, i remember traveling ALOT, missing alot of school, but always coming back, pretending to be in school, hanging out with my friends, iwas bombarded by animals, i loved animals, i wasn’t a maniac to ever hurt one no matter my blood rage, but i was taken to villages a round the world to share love with good people and experiences, and to always train, and to even kill, i needed to kill, a lifetime of killing, decades of it, thousands of horriblly evil people around the world, especially china, india and the middleeast before soldiers ever got there, was my purpose in life, i could chameleon into any cell, or group, i was invisible and innocent, and with training i was a weapon, all my education when to combat and stealth and learning many languages, and i served my agency proud, and when i tried to resume a regular life i couldn’t, i was hurting people in sports, not really trying to, my training i held back on, and just used physical standards, but i had too much rage, its like i wanted to see people bleed, i’d been around the world helping animals, trained as an assassin, trained by seals, educated by scholars, there are good sects in this world when you’re facing incredible circumstnces, as well as bad sects like terrorists or satanists, and they caught wind and found my mom as she had sought something like them too, onlhy a few people know about this, after the rotc, i went to the air force for a few months, then leaped to the seals and i’ve been putting away badguys, and hopping back to the states for my character andn presence ever since, i’m a honed tactician, i’m beyond liam neeson, i’m a good person, i have compassion for everyone, but i have a screw loose, and i need love, and i’ll never find it, i’m calmed now and ptsd of wartime endevours you just get used to, compared to childhood traumas, i’m retired, vocalization and protest is what changes laws and leading by example helps animals in the world, i just need someone to spend my life with now, i had a good girl once, who was teetering on the side of cdraziness, enough crazy and cool to put up with me, but she was taken by this horrible world, i needed saved and she abandoned me, her best friend, i’m looking for someone new to come into my life and not be so fussy and close minded,k i’m still just a child needing affection, someone save me ......i'm the funniest person probably in the world in person, but i've gotten shy and reclusive the last decade, from my loved ones dissected and murdered in hospitals, to love stricken from me like a lightening bolt, i used to love dancing in clubs/weddings with any hot girl, but i could never dance again having lived the shit i've went through with my ex slowing metamorphasizing into a prostitute, and it began from the attention she got from me taking her out to clubs and being mixed in an elite environment and dancing with her making her feel a little bit too great to the point she needed to have that drug 24/7, so she slowly went out and forged it, dancing is the work of the devil i know see, its like that george michael song 'i'm never gonna dance again' love just gets taken from you and you become a bitter person because of it, i'm still funny, but it has to be the right setting, i have to be feeling good or buzzed or have a fleeting bliss of happiness, i can get really fucking dark sometimes to the point its scary, you mix i've been an eliete in sports amongst other things in my life, alongside my talented writing that's grosser and more depicting and original than anything clive or king could right, and you'll have a formula of fear, i mean one story i killed god himself, its on my fb in my notes titled 'the after', i've cursed god for the last couple decades of my life, not because i'm an atheiest or don't believe in a god entirely, but because if there was one, i figured he was absolute evil, like a parent abandoning children in a dingy motel or something, forced to fend for themselves because they don't know better, i have many thoughts on god but i'm a philosopher too, so that's a topic that can go on forever, for the most part, i vent, i'm fuming mad, but i'm the most passive human being you'll ever known, and the people beating upon me in life can attest to it, you see those vines or gifs with cats beating the shit out of large enormous strong dogs? well that's me, no matter what i'll never bite, i just seem to bark alot because i'm lonely, and still so heartbroken, i've never filled in that gap of a 'friend' or a 'fuckpal' or a partner in my life since my breakup, i'm not doing it right, like everyone else copes, i don't deal with death the same either, i'm careless to it and am enlightened to not get attached anymore, to anything, seeing dozens of my family put in the ground, it just takes a toll of carelessness, its something i don't want to deal with anymore, my cat was the height of all the bad in my life, a year ago my sister allowed this prostitute that was living next to me in my room to throw a fuckparty in the entire house, and my cat kidiot got outside, and this was when i was tossed out of that drughouse for not reason on top of it by the very multiple cops that were banging my sister, someone i cared about, and my cat kidiot who i've had a decade, got trapped and starved to death in a hot shed, just a glimpse at the kind of shit i have to go through ad cry over in my life, and its not because i'm a bad person, and its not from strangers, its from people closest to me, its always like that for me and i'm uncertain why........15 of my short films are pretty good, but maybe i'm just being modest and don't determine my worth properly,you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance ............ i was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I differ in opinion about bisexuals, not for them personally, but from my own experiences of people being able to fuck how many people they want without consquence to character, the last time i checked if someone was unsure if they liked women or men more they weren't tasting all those crotches, they went about their business and didn't need a stamp that i feel is an equivalent to yelling 'hey i'm in bars fucking this guy, fucking that guy and i don't give a fuck', well that's fine, live how you want, but in your abundances of pussy/dick and indecision, i'm all alone, and i'd be humbled to just hold and love ONE PERSON, and that's were the idea of the 'title' not the 'person' bisexual comes into conflict with me, its saying 'i'm samantha from sex and the city and slopping up weiners and hot snatches left and right, so fuck you', i don't hate anyone, i'm understanding of nearly anything, i try my hardest to dissuade violence or hate in any way i can, i just think the terminology used to describe someone as a bisexual is just for show, if they don't know if they love and man or woman, who's to say they even love men or women? but their travels and undertakings of trying to find that out are being stamped and revealed for all the world to know about, and i don't dislike it, i just think its as tacky as me posting my boner videos in my underwear is all, its sleazy to your eyes, but you don't understand me right, like i woudn't understand you? in such perversion there is actual sweetness in me and reasons i do this crazy shit, bisexuals and their silly title which is basically just saying you're a hippi is just offputing to some, like me who had a girl i loved who became bisexual, yet all she's doing is fucking people for money, and i bet alot of people have sex and not for love and in doing that i'd never wanna be stamped with something, in a broad sense sure, but me, i'm an individual and i'm kind and good and accepting of all of you and love all of you so what the fuck matters our personal bickerings ya know?....... stupid groups of people like most feminists, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, bother me, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats not really doing anything, having a campus activity n shit, not empassioned deeper, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, i think i used to be bitter about hipsters too, just anyone who is phony as fuck, hell it could even be described as a rare unicorn of a girl i liked, doesn't matter, superficiality annoys me more than anything......... like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, seeing those depictions in 'bruno' or something, or me personally jacking off to threesomes n shit in porn is one thing but if you're gonna come on my page and bitch and moan i think that's 'sleazy' since it doesn't invovle TWO people, but instead involves multiple people, then you're just dumb,.............. i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it