#if anyone came up with this first uh uhhh uhhhhh shut up

[possumkingluca]

just had a vision of the legends arceus protagonist having a tea party with the creation trio and arceus

[warmaidensrevenge]

Hello I was wondering if your taking requests?

If so could I please request an Eddie x plus sized reader who is also Jason's sister?

Eddie Munson x Plus size reader

Ope well this should be fun. I'f you guys want smut. Please let me know.

Eddie Munson x Plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Warning: cursing, a touch of violence. Not proof read and no word count.

One shot

😬❤️‍🔥

Everyone at the Hellfire table were being unruly loud. That's when she came in the cafeteria. Eddie noticed you immediately. He didn't know who she was but damn was she something. Suddenly the noise was distracting.

"Shut up!" Eddie screamed. Quieting everyone as you watched her walking to the completely wrong table.

"Want something freak?" Jason stood up noticing you gawking at her.

You gave him the bird and returned to see the pretty lady with the thick thighs. She gave you the most incredible smile. Your heart skipped beat. You melted under her gaze. You didn't realize you were holding your breath. You looked away nervously trying to catch your breath. No one has ever taken your breath away before. Your eyes study the table before you. Your mouth became dry. You fumbled around in your lunch box pulling out a small carton milk. You drank the whole thing in one gulp still not satisfying your thirst. Your knee began to bounce under the table. That's when Dustin interrupted you thought process.

"Hey man what's up?"

You looked up and she was sitting now, next to that piece of shit Carver. Why the hell someone like you sitting with him?

Dustin noticed who you were looking at.

"Dude you're being a creep?"

You glared at Dustin.

" That's y/n. Jason's step sister.

"Step sister?" You whispered.

"Yeah man. Her mom married his dad. She just started today." Dustin said

Ahh I see it was by no choice of your own that you were sitting there. Good you thought now you didn't feel bad at your sudden need for her. Damn was she pretty.

Eddie kept looking over thru out lunch hoping he would catch your eye again. And as she got up when the bell rang she finally did. She gave you a small wave. That's when Jason gave you a scoff and pushed her to stop looking at you. You stood up at the act but before you could say anything they were gone.

...

When you walked into class you felt the blood rush to your cheeks when you saw her sitting next to your seat in the back of the room. Thank the gods that she was occupied with pulling out her text book to notice you blush. You practically skipped to your seat. When you sat down and looked up she was giving you the sweetest smile you have ever seen. Shit she made you so nervous. You were gonna introduce yourself when the teacher started talking.

" alright class settled down. We have a new student joining us. Care to introduce yourself."

She stood up and waved at the class. Your eyes never left her. She was Aphrodite incarnate.

" Hi I'm y/n. I umm I just moved here from Minnesota. And uh yeah."

You cursed the Minnesotans for keeping such a treasure away from him. He watched you sit back down your wide hips swaying to some music only he could hear.

"Hey there." Her voice was so perfect. She was a siren calling out to you. And you didn't care if you lived or died.

"H-hey" you stuttered. Jesus H Christ you haven't been this nervous since the first time you got to lead a campaign.

She smiled again. Damn she knows I'm nervous.

"I'm y/n. Y/n l/n"

" I'm your's...shit sorry I'm uhhh Eddie Munson." Geez your pathetic.

She giggled. God you could listen to that forever.

" I like your vest."

" Uhh this old thing?" You looked down pulling it off.

" you want it?" You asked handing it to her

" Uhhhhh no...that's ok..you keep it." She said pushing your hand away.

Shit you were being weird. Damnit how did she get you to be this way? Never in the history of man was anyone so awkward.

"You're cute. A little weird. But I like that."

Her words threw you for a loop. She thought you were cute. Alrighty you can die happy now. You chuckled.

"Sorry" you said

" that's ok Eddie you don't have to be sorry. Umm do you want to hang out sometime?"

Holy mother of God! Did she just ask you out. No she must be messing around. Clearly she hasn't heard about what a heathen you are.

"Eddie?" She broke your concentration.

" Uh yeah yeah definitely." You muttered.

...

You couldn't stop looking at her. She was completely memorizing. Her skin look so soft. Her lips were beautifully full. Her breast were nice and plump with just a hint of stretch marks over them. Her jeans hugged her ass just right. Showing off her love handles that it took everything you had not to hold onto them.

You guys were at the bowling alley. You would purposely throw gutter ball after gutter ball just to hear her laugh. You watched in awe when she would picked up the ball with her beautiful painted nails sliding into the holes. And when she would bend to toss it her jeans would tighten around her ass. It looked so good you could've cried at the sight.

That's when things went for the worst.

" y/n! What hell are you doing with that freak?" Jason came in yelling at her. " What the hell did I tell you about him?"

You stood up and she held out her hand to stop you.

" You listen and you listen good Jason." She was pissed." You DO NOT get to tell me who I should or shouldn't hang out with. Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

" Does your mother know that you're out here being some fat whore?!" Jason shouted

That's it you've had it. No way was Jason gonna get away with that. But before you got the chance to hit him. She closed her fist and punched him square in the jaw. She hit him so hard that it knocked him off his feet. Dear God you were absolutely amazing.

She grabbed your hand pulling you out the door.

"Damnit woman that was brilliant." You said thru the biggest smile you have ever had.

She pushed you up against the van and kissed you. Then she immediately pulled away.

" Shit sorry I shouldn't have done that. It's just....he's such a fucking tool." Her apology made you laugh. Then you started to walk back to the bowling alley.

" Hey where you going?" She asked

" what do you think? I'm gonna go get Jason to piss you off more so that you could keep on kissing me."

She laughed pulling you back for another kiss. " I'll kiss you whenever you want."

" Well baby you better settle in cuz we might never stop." You smirked

[dear-alex-chill]

Ducktales Story from Discord #1

Louie: what's the one thing mark Beaks doesn't have?

Webby: a brain?

Gyro: originality.

Scrooge: as much money as me

Fenton: Morals

Huey: an honest plan

Dewey: these sweet dance moves!!

Louie: all correct, but no.

Louie: he’s single

Scrooge and everyone: ooooooohhh

Mark beaks walks in: what’s so funny?

Everyone: nothing-

Louie and Gyro: your depressing life.

Webby: you tell him!

Scrooge: I’m too old for this-

Mark: Hey!! I- I HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS ON QUACK CHAT THAN YOU!!

Louie: oh please, when you’re the nephew of the richest duck in the world—*hold up phone*

Everyone wants to be your friend

Gyro: then how come you can’t get somebody to love?

Mark: speak for yourself robot dude

Fenton: well actually-

Gyro: Uh- yeah-

Mark: oh. Oh wait! Ohhhh!!! This is so going on my feed!

Louie: ha look at that.

Webby: never would’ve guessed

Louie: really?

Webby: no it was so obvious

Gyro: Why are you posting about something you don’t have?

Mark: it's just the way the world works nerd

Louie: got ‘em

Fenton: blathering blatherskite *summons arm

shoots phone*

Gyro: Yes, get him.

Mark: Hey!! Not cool Chico! Thankfully I have my backup phone..

Mark: y-yeah well I don’t see any of these kids having love lives!

Webby: actually *holds lena’s hand*

Louie: oooooOooooh what’re ya gonna do now Mark?

Mark: I am so not accepting your friend requests now!

Fenton: bold of you to assume any of us want to be your friends to begin with

Louie: you’ve been blocked

Gyro: ->- and plus, we actually have more with our lives other than looking at a screen all day.

Dewey: Yeah. Who wants to be friends with this jerk?

Huey: a masochist

Dewey: what now?

Louie: you mean like duckaplier?

Huey: yeah..

Mark: At least I have a social life. Unlike some Chicken I know..

Gyro: Excuse me?

Scrooge: alright Goldie stole the fountain of youth let’s go kids, before this..”thing” keeps talking

Mark: whatever old man. I got a business to run anyway

Louie: actually you’ve just been canceled

Mark: WHAT?!!??!

Louie: yeah, apparently you’re..just too “Mark beaks like”

Mark: *storming out of the room*

We'll see about that

Louie: hmm the moment he tries to tries to become trending I’ll cancel him again

Gyro: snickers

Dewey and Huey: Louie!

Gyro: No, please keep going green nephew.

Louie: whatttt? Im just doing what need to be done

Webby: looks like gyro has a favorite nephew

Louie: and now he’s been canceled again.

Gyro: I do not! All of you are equally annoying!

Fenton: what about me?

Huey: your his boyfriend-

Louie: and? He’s probably annoying to some extent

Gyro: You’re the most annoying! *mumbles* In the best way-

Mark: Awww #ship it!

Fenton: awwww

Gyro: WHA- Where did you come from!?

Louie: here comes the bride- all dressed in...uh tech

Gyro: ->- green nephew, I order you to stop

Louie: yeah alrighty

Webby: I swear I have no idea what’s going on anymore this conversation is just madness

Louie: uhh he’s trending somehow- and it looks like it’s just a bunch of picture of you and Fenton. He’s calling it #fenro

Gyro: What? Give me that! points to Louie’s phone

Louie: *hands it over*

Gyro: Oh this is ridiculous.

Fenton leans over to see the screen

Louie: yeah it’s gone viral everywhere

Gyro: *Shows Fenton* there

Fenton: grabs phone and stares

Gyro: well can we stop..whatever this is?

Gyro: And hey! I was holding that!

Louie: I’d cancel it, but then I might be canceled myself-

Fenton: scrolling though the tags they made fan art

Louie: I saw some links to fan fiction too

Gyro: WHAT.

Fenton: they made us kids

Mark beaks: Ha! I win

Louie: they do based on these pictures from mark’s new phone

Louie: they’re calling you the bottom

Gyro: I AM NOT!

Fenton: well how do they know that-

Louie: well whatever the truth is, they are now saying that they want a kiss pic from Mark, who probably won’t get that and then they’ll riot

Louie: we could also just give them a cuter couple

Louie: like Webby and Lena

Webby: wait What?

Louie: or Scrooge and Goldie

Huey: penumbra and mom

Dewey: Donald and daisy

Fenton: let’s just calm down, maybe we should just see if it goes away on its own

Lena: oh come on, we are the cutest couple to exist

Louie: doubt that’s ever gonna happen

Fenton: ummm *blasts all the phones in the room* solution!

Lena: well that’s one way to solve the problem ?

Louie: *pulls out another one* yeah you’re still trending

Fenton: *sighs*

Lena: okay never mind

Louie: our motto at Louie incorporated is always have a backup phone, and after that another backup

Mark: hey that was my motto first

Louie: are you sure about that?

Louie: cause now it’s mine and trending

Louie: a lie is simply a truth that has not been repeated enough times yet

Lena: he’s not wrong you know

Louie: ayyyy

Webby: LENA!

Louie: just listen to your girlfriend Webby, she’s clearly got the right idea

Huey: LOUIE!

Dewey: *posts this on Dewey Dew- night*

Mark: your just a kid! You can't possibly *looks down at phone to see Louie trending* Oh YOU-

Louie: wait, how long have you been filming for?

Dewey: the entire time

Louie: *looks over at mark* I told you it was mine

Mark: Whatever. I'll just start a new trend

Louie: too late I canceled you

Mark: *takes a selfie* Canceled Selfie!

Gyro: *sighs* will you ever shut up Beaks?

Mark beaks: i Don’t know Gryo when will you stop making evil inventions?

Gyro: Not until I crush you.

Mark: woah woah. Assassination is not a good look on you

Fenton: who said it was on him.

Webby: I don’t think it’s a good look on anyone

Louie: oh Webby, when you’re older you’ll understand

Mark: 'specially with your little project in tokyolk

Webby: and you do?

Gyro: *punches him*

Louie: uhhhhh yes?

Gyro: Now, what was that you said?

Fenton: oh my god *starts fanboying in spanish*

Mark: who PUNCHES a guy?!?!

Gyro: Me.

Louie: you’re not a guy, nor a man. Just sad little baby

Mark: *disgusted* Augh!

Huey : uhhh Dewey did you get that?

Louie: who relies on his it list mama

Dewey: yeah

Huey: should we be worried?

Dewey: nah

Gyro: No, not at all.

Louie: get out of here beaks

Mark: Fine! But I'll be back!

Scrooge walks in the room

Gyro: uhh, no you won’t

Louie: no you won’t

Scrooge: what in the blazes happened in here?!

Mark: Your children are maniacs!

Louie: Mark was bullying us

Gyro: It was simply business Mr. McDuck.

Scrooge: oh was he now?

louie pulls out puppy eyes

Scrooge: in that case, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

Mark leaves mumbling: stupid grouchy old man

Louie: hah! Woo

Gyro: I can now finally get away from it.

Louie: you’re welcome?

Fenton: thanks. *pats on head*

Louie: HEY!

Huey: well with that settled-

Fenton: we should probably get back to whatever it is we were doing

Louie: which is?

Gyro: I actually do not know

Scrooge: Adventure!!

Louie: oh no not again

Gyro: Ah, yes. That.

Louie: *tries to walk away*

Scrooge: Now where are you going lad?

Louie: I- Uh..I’m dying?

Lena: pffft nice

Gyro: What-

Gyro: What am I even doing here, I’m leaving this chaos

Louie: y-yeah came down with the common cold of uh WAIT FOR ME!

*runs after gyro*

Gyro: No, I won’t. *continues to walk away*

Fenton: Wait what about me?

Louie: I promise to not speak or even breathe!

Gyro: hmmmm. No

Gyro: well if you don’t hurry up Cabrera then I’m leaving you

Louie: Fenton can I come? *puppy eyes*

Fenton: yes-

Gyro: *sighs* fine.

Webby: it feels like we’ve been talking for 53 years!

Lena: I know right

Huey: I know what you mean, I feel like I’m being controlled by a teen and typing out unoriginal dialogue in a phone

Credit to the Discord Chat (for making this a proper story), specifically:

@shadybelievercat

Queen_of_bread

Neighborhood Nerd

[the-fiction-witch]

Thank you

MOVIE: MAZE RUNNER

COUPLE: NEWT X READER

RATING: SMUTT!!!

I smiled as I sewed a hole up in gally's shirt when I heard a little cough which made me look up to see newt stood clearly just finished in the gardens mud on his face and arms even if one was clearly hiding something behind his back

"Ohh hello newt, something wrong?" I ask

"Ohhh no, not wrong love" he says "I was just uhh wondering if you had finished my vest yet?" He asks

"Ohh course" I smiled digging thought my pile the greenie that was helping newt cut the tree stump yesterday ripped his vest it honestly was a miracle newt wasn't hurt "here you go good as new" I smiled handing it to him

"Thanks love" he smiled "uhh here, as a thank you for fixing it so fast" he smiled handing me a flower

"Aww newt, that's so sweet" I smiled giving his cheek a kiss as I took the flower "you should get back before zart yells at you" I laughed as I saw zart in the gardens out the corner of my eye looking unamused at newt

"Your right, I'll see you later, thanks again" he smiled before running off back to work.

I sighed nothing I did would make this dam stain come out! So I left my little laundry hut wondering over to the gardens and I spotted him going over to newt as he hoed tracks for plants grabbing his ear and tugging him along with me

"Oooowww! Hey! Love! Let go!" He whines

"Zart I'm borrowing newt" I yelled

"Bring him back in one peice y/n" zart yelled back 

"I can't garenttee that zart" I warn as I dragged newt along

"Owww... Oooowww.... Oooowww! Love please let me go! What have I done!" He whines as he arrived at the hut and I pushed him inside

"What is this? And why won't it come off?" I ask showing him the stain

"How the bloody hell should I know?" He asks

"It's your hoodie" I complain "what is it?"

"Ummmm... I uhh I would rather not tell you if that's alright love"

"What is it newt?" I repeat

"I'll clean it, I know how to get it out" he explained starting to work, so I did what I could around him while he did anything with a similar stain till we where all done

"Thank you newt" I smiled giving his cheek a kiss which made him blush a little

"It's alright love, call me again if you get any more," he says

"What is it anyways? I keep finding it in you boys clothes" I ask

"Uhhhhh I Uhhh... I have no idea," he blushed hard

"Newt?" I warn I saw his eyes glance to my door but before I could react he had bolted out my door pretty fast for such a skinny boy with a limp and all "I will get an answer out of you newt" I laughed as I lean on the door

"Over my dead body!" He yells back

I yawned eating my dinner mainly just bacon because I didn't feel like eating much else and fry always gives me whatever I want

"Somebody's hungry" I heard behind me just as newt sat beside me on the bench with his own food a little bacon some chicken and few other things "what! You got like a whole plate full of bacon" he complained

"The joys of being the only girl" I giggled

"The perks of a Virginia" he sighed

"True" I giggled kicking his foot a little he smiled gently kicking me too, it slowed a little as we where both tried from gentle kicks to pretty much just playing footsie with each other until Gally hit our bench as he was fighting some poor new kid sending everything on the bench all over the place, once we calmed down I noticed the hit had thrown my plate too the floor and all my food into the dirt "owww," I sighed

"Here" newt smiled moving his plate between us both

"Aww thank you newt" I smiled giving his cheek a kiss and nuzzling into his cosy shoulder

"Your welcome love" he blushed resting his head on mine.

I yawned sitting up in bed having a stretch everyone else was wide awake and busy in the glade I could hear the bustling about as I got up slipping my clothes on for the day and going out locking my room just incase if snoopy Pervy boys as I did I heard a strange noise I thought it was an animal got lose in the glade at first but it was clearly a person, they sounded in pain, I looked around for the source of the sound and found myself at newts door, I was instantly worried what if he fell out if bed and hurt his bad ankle or something so I opened the door quickly shutting it behind me "newt are you alright?" I ask standing at the foot of his bed, he seemed surprised, shocked to see me in his bedroom this time of morning his bedsheets tight around his waist to try and cover himself, he clearly only had his hoodie on as it's often all he sleeps in that and a pair of underwear he blushed hard seeing me here

"Uhhhh....fine" he says

"You didn't sound fine" I said sitting in his bed he gently moved away from me a little tucking his sheets around him a bit better

"I'm fine really" he blushed

"Newt, are you sure you sounded hurt" i ask "I just want to make sure your alright,"

"I uhh I'm fine really, it's nothing" he says

"It's not nothing newt tell me" I ask "or do you want me to get Jeff or Clint?" I ask

"No!" He says quickly

"Then tell me else I'm not cleaning your clothes anymore" I warn

"You promise you won't tell anyone?" He asks

"Of course I do" I giggled and he blushed harder biting his bottom lip a little

"Lock the door" he says

"What?" I ask

"Lock it and I'll tell you" he says so I sighed getting up locking his door and sitting back in his bed

"So?" I ask "why where you making painful noises at half nine in the morning?" I ask

"Because..." He began moving his covers exposing that his underwear where tugged down to be around his knees almost, his other hand that I hadn't really noticed yet was on his hard dripping cock he was bigger then I ever expected newt to be then again I hadn't really thought about it I suppose, quite a thick shaft for such a skinny boy he was still gently biting in his bottom lip as his hand gently moved from base to tip "I've been trying for hours" he complained "I don't know why I just... I can't"

"Can't do what?" I ask

"What do you think love? What I got all over my hoodie the other day" he blushed

"That's what that was?" I ask and he nods "well there your reason you can't newt you've been doing it to often, how much have you been doing it this month?" I ask

"Alot" he blushed

"How many months have you been doing it alot?" I ask

"Eight" he blushed trying to avoid my eyes

"Eight?" I ask and he nods "so since I got here?' I ask

"I can't help it love! Your a girl! Your beautiful! Your sexy! You can't blame me for getting desperate" he complained "especially since you've... Been kissing me"

"I thought you went going to tell me what was on your hoodie" I laughed "you said over your dead body?"

"Love I'm literally half naked, not sure there much point keeping secrets from you now" he blushed

"Did you want help?" I ask

"What?!!" He asks in shock his cheeks somehow going even redder

"Clearly you have been doing it far to much newt, a different hand couldn't hurt?" I offer

"You- you wanna to-touch my-" he stuttered

"I don't want to I'm just trying to help newt" I offer

"I tried a different hand that didn't work, I do it with my right hand I tried my left it didn't work" he complained

"My mouth then?" I suggest and he froze "newt want to cum or not?" I ask

"I I I I I want to.... I just don't know-" he began

"Ohh you impossible boy" I sighed moving and kissing his lips gently not even a dull second before I pulled back "want me to?" I ask

"I uhh I don't know..." He stuttered still so I laughed moving a little more and wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again he kissed me back this time his other hand going around my waist however the one on his cock staied and began jerking himself off again as we kissed at first gently so much I hardly noticed but as our kisses deepened his hand sped up I pulled back and slyly ran my hand across his head

"Newt, do you want the only girl in the glade to get you off?" I ask gently rubbing

".....Yes Please love" he begged breathless already

"You get cosy, I'll be back in a minute" I smiled giving him another kiss and going to my room  I changed my shirt just incase and got the little bottle of stuff the creators sent me up for myself and going back to newts room making sure I locked the door as I came in he did look my cosier he had folded his pillow over so he could almost sit up his hoodie gone exposing his pale chest to me once he saw me lock the door he moved the covers away a little showing he was still trying for his orgasum I sat in his bed and smirked looking at him a little more "how long have you been trying?" I ask

"Since I woke up" he admits

"Which was?" I ask

"Uh about six..." He blushed

"All that time?" I ask and he nods

"I had a dream...and I woke up with it, I wanted to get odd before work but didn't go to plan" he blushed

"What was the dream about?" I ask getting the stuff on my hand

"Uhhh nothing important" he says

"Tell me" I warn as I grabbed his base

"Uuhh! Ohh my god! I Uhhh I dreamt.... About-" he began as I gently moved my hand up his shaft "ummmm! More, more please I'm begging you" he groans cutting himself off it made me giggle

"What was the dream newt?" I whispered giving his neck a kiss as I continued gently sliding my lubed up hand from his head to his base softly and slowly

"I dreamt that... Ughh!" He groaned rolling his head on his pillow a little "that I went for a shower but you where there" he explained

"Ohh was I" I smirked slowly speeding up

"Ohh my god! Yes, yes you where there and i- I saw you naked, and- UUUH! please y/n faster please!" He begs

"And what?" I ask as I squeezed on his base

"Uughhh! And none of the other showers were working" he explained

"Really how convenient" I smirked

"So...I had to share with you" he blushed "and... We uhhh" he blushed

"We what newt?" I asked moving down to kiss his head Running my tounge around it a little

"And we had sex... Amazing, mind blowing in shower sex" he explained "please y/n go faster!" He whines

So I smirked and went as fast as I could

"That fast enough for you newt?" I smirked

"Yes! Yes! Uhhh uuuuhh I'm close, I'm close princess please!" He begs

"Princess?" I ask

"Your always princess...in my dreams" he blushed

"Cute" I smiled moving to give his head more kisses often gently sucking on it his hand moved to my head playing with my hair as he was getting desperate

"Uuh... Uuummmm... Princess...ughhh... Ummmm... princess I'm gonna..." He moaned gently "ummm I keep wanting to shut my eyes and imagine, but I don't need to your right here" he smirked so I sucked harder almost in time with my pumping "uuuhhh! I definitely will cum you keep doing that princess!" He moans his legs and hips starting to move unintentionally bucking towards my mouth "y/n...I'm im-" he began so I sucked harder and just as I did he grabbed my hair tight and finished in my mouth with a loud groan as he did I swallowed as much as I could and sat up watching him as he got his breath back "at shucking last! I've waited bloody hours for that" he smirked sitting up a little making me giggle as he sat up completly nervously rubbing his neck "so..." He began

"So" I shrug and he smiled moving and kissing my lips softly I kissed back gently a couple times before newt pulled away

"Thank you very much" he smiled "princess"

"Your welcome newt" I smiled giving him a kiss and going off to work blowing him a kiss as I left his room

[ladyemberswrites]

Pairing: Aluseras

Fandom: Hellsing 

Title: Nudity 

Read author comments at the bottom. 

Seras thought her whole body would combust, it was like someone dumped a large basin of ice cold water over her head, and not only was she left wide eyed, but stunned, similar to a deer in the headlights about get rundown by dead-arse drunk, negligent driver.

 Originally, she had come down to her master's room - or dungeon to inform him that Sir Integra wanted to see him, however,  that task was completely forgotten , seeing that her virgin eyes were currently beholding her Master’s very nude body.

 Her body was already hot, clammy and sticky thanks to the extreme heat of the summer weather, but now her body burned for an entirely different reasons and a reason she should be concerned about, well at least a towel was covering his-well,his-his -um - man parts- oh dear!

He looked at her, passively, barely blinking an eye,

“ What is it, police girl.” having a stroke seemed very plausible right about now, and very welcomed too.

“ …..uhhh- um-uhhhhh.” she stammered, her vision was hazy, unfocused.

He quirked a brow at her, baffled for a moment by her lack of being able to iterate a simple, complete sentence before it hit him.

“ Whatever, is the matter, Seras?” she desperately was trying to focus her attention on his face, and not down below. He of course noticed, the bastard, grinned inwardly at his servant's obvious discomfort.

“ Uhhh, master, your, uh,  your clothes  .”

“ What was that police girl, couldn't hear you, speak up.”

“ You did too hear me! Don’t lie.” she hissed.

“ We're defiant this evening.” he felt his smirk widen, revealing his sharp teeth, that were so white, that they glistened in the dreary room. 

“BECAUSEYOURNOTWEARINGANYCLOTHES!”

“ Am aware.”

“ Then-”

“ Then?”

“ Why aren't you-”

   “ Clothed. Ah, yes, well, I was in the middle of completing certain activities before you came barging into my private chambers.”

  Her face blanched, and she gaped at him like a fish out of water. Whatever words were trying to come out were choked and strangled by her own disbelief and utter horror. But of course, why is she surprised anyways, though her master was vampire of high degree, he was still, but a man. So, of course- she gulped- he would have - have certain urges……….. but still - still it was- ugh- trying to imagine-no-no-no-no.

   It was like a child trying to turn a blissful eye to the fact they their parent’s have a sex life. Not that she consider her master a father figure, shudders, she doubted that man had a single fraternal bone in his body, but it was still private- intrusive, it was odd and it was making her feel odd things. Odd things she should be ashamed of. 

“ It was joke, police girl.” He deadpanned. That was hardly a joke now, the damage was already done, and her imagination would be running rampant for hours , thinking of things she should not be musing about.

“ Has your brain stopped functioning properly.” 

“ M-my brain is -w-w-working” she swallows hard “.........fine.” 

“ Anyways, is there something you want?” Is he serious! Seras just wanted to leave, and forget this ever happened. Why, is he being so-lax about this? He’s screwing with me that’s why, just my luck, the lousy bastard. 

“ Uh- Sir Integra wants to see you.” 

“ Why?” 

“ I don’t know, ask her.” 

“ Why didn’t she just summon me.” 

“ I. Don’t. Know. Maybe she doesn’t want you popping up into her office naked as the day you were born, she’s known you longer than I have.” 

Alucard snorts “ I maybe bold, Police girl, but not that bold, I rather keep certain parts of my anatomy intact.” 

It was Seras’ turn to snort, this is the same man who encourages his enemies to blow his own brains out , but also takes great enjoyment in being blasted to pieces. Yet, is afraid of his man bits getting mutilated. The moment she uttered those words-her eyes acted as if they had a mind of their own, and were dangerously peering down his neck line to his bare chest, which to her surprised was covered in scars. They were like zigzags, like trenches of missing flesh. 

“ See something interesting?” 

“ uh-those - those are scars?” 

“ hmm,.” one had absentmindedly caressed the ancient wounds, as if he were re-tracing the moment in time that he got them. 

“ War.”

“ I don’t understand.” she tilted her head

“ I got these long before I become a nosferatu.” 

“ Oh.” 

“ Not all wounds heal, after you turn.” 

“ Guess that it explains, why I still-have.....” she whisper trails off, a flash of sadness fills her sapphire eyes.  Alucard got the hint and decided to change the topic back to himself again.

“ While, I was human I fought many battles, some were victorious and some I barely made it out with my head still attached to my body. But all in the same I never got out  unscathed. 

“ I couldn’t imagine. I mean I was on a police squad-but I’m pretty sure it was nothing compared to up-close and personal battles with knives and swords. “   

“ Nowadays, all you have to do is shoot your opponent in the heart an it’s over, back then they didn’t always die quickly, sometimes it took hours of choking on your own intestines before death. 

Seras grimaced “ Then again I was kind of the lucky ones, I didn’t really get the chance to see some of the gruesome stuff-not since-anyways.........” here they were  having a in depth discussion about death and would have enjoyed if it weren’t for the fact that he’s still in the nude without a care in the word. 

“ Can you at least put some pants on, Master.” she grumbled.

“ I thought you were enjoying the view.” 

“MASTER!” 

“ Very well, there’s not need to shout.”  

“Please don’t turn around!”, Seras balks, as she gets a lesson in male anatomy that she obviously didn’t sign up for. Her face drained of color, as her cheeks burned bright firetruck red, as her eyes darted any where else -but-but-but-her brained is definetely fried, she can’t even finish that sentence, while metaphorical steam rolls out her ears and the situation was only made worse when she heard her master dark chuckling. 

He was purposely getting a rise out of her, Bloody hell, has he no shame. Obviously not. Seras wondered how anyone can not be embarrassed by being butt-naked in front of a stranger. Then again they were in no way strangers and this is Alucard she’s talking about. Though out of curiosity wondered if there was anything that didn’t flustered said man. Probably not, even if there were, he would never admit that to her of all people. 

How long had she been standing here staring at some crack in the wall, she wanted to turn around, this angle was putting a crook in her neck, but she was too afraid to check if he was dress. 

“ How long are you going to keep standing there, Police girl?” amusement was apparent in his voice and irked her nerve endings. However, she mistakenly takes that as a sign that he was fully clothed. 

“ I-MASTER!” she quickly clamped her fingers over eyes. Heat was not just radiating in her face now, but all over her body, but far more intense.

“ What?” it would have been innocent, if it weren’t for the slight mockery in his tone. 

“ Your clothes.” she squeaked. 

“ And?” 

“ C-clothes,-I thought you were going to put s-some -clothes on.” 

“ I was, but  I changed my mind.” 

“ Have you not any shame.” she hissed.

“ No.” he smirked, devilishly. 

Seras groaned in her hands, what did she expect. “Your truly, truly awful, Master.” 

“ And you’re a prude, my dear police girl.” 

“ I am not a prude.” 

“ If your not then open you’re eyes.” 

“ ABSOLUTELY NOT!” 

He only threw his head back and laughed, which only made her tremble with even more second-hand embarrassment, more then she could honestly bare, she squeezed her fingers even tighter, not knowing what else to do-until she felt something looming over her.

She felt larger hands trying to pry her smaller ones from her face. 

“ Don’t be stubborn, Seras.” he whispered, using his native accent to catch her attention, which worked, her grip loosened, as he peered up at him. Sometimes she forgets how much bigger he is to her. He was giant compared to her and for some reason she found it to be-a turn on? 

“ W-what?” she didn’t like the way that he was looking at her, she knew that expression very well, it was the one, where she couldn’t read what he was thinking. Hard, passive, and intense. She gulped, as he moved her hands away from her face, holding her wrists in a iron grip,while he gazed at her, searching. There was a long silence, where neither party said anything , Seras had no idea what he was feeling right about now, but she on the other hand felt her rib cage restrict, and if her heart were still beating it would have been slamming into her chest.

��Though it felt like hours, only seconds ticked by, his face moved closer to her’s to the point where their lips barely touched, she could feel his warm breath caress her face and more importantly her lips,  but then he pulled back without warning., letting go of her wrists in the process.  She wanted to bolt from the room, but her legs were too shaky to move, least she fall face first on the cold, hard floor. She suffered enough awkwardness for one day, that and she almost forgot that he was still in the nude. 

“ Um....” 

“ Yes.” Though he wasn’t all in her face anymore, he was still personally and uncomfortable close. 

“ I-I’ve got stuff to do.” 

“ Stuff? Oh, what stuff is that?” 

“ Y’know-stuff-stuff.” Her eyes were frantic, searching for a way out. She licked her lips, her mouth was painfully dry. He stepped closer again, this time his bare chest lightly pressed against her amble bosom, which made her cheeks burn a hundred degrees hotter. 

“ What this?” he tilted her chin up at a weird angle with one finger, it was there that Seras realized that her Master wasn’t in the habit of cutting his nails. Then again he probably did it on purpose “ You seem quite flustered, police girl,.” 

She shut her eyes to keep herself from seeing stars “ N-nothing.” 

“ Am I too close.” His accent was thick, it was almost hard to understand what he was actually saying, however and  unfortunately it did weird things to her head and he knew, apparently. 

“ M-maybe.” she inhaled unsteadily, as her fingers digged into the flesh of her palms that laid tensed at her sides. 

“ Is that a confession.” 

“ I-I don’t know, what is it too you, if it is.” 

“ Hhmmm, Would you like to know, Draga Meu.” 

“ I-” 

“Seras! Seras, where are you!  It shouldn’t be taking-you-you “ Of all the things Integra never wanted to see in her short life time, seeing Alucard naked was among the list and to her misfortune, she just had to come to the basement, to find her Servant in his birthday suit, presumably seducing her other servant. 

Fortunately, for Seras someone did come to her rescue, but unfortunately it had to be Sir Integra of all people. 

However, this time it was Alucard’s turn to balk, she’d never seen his skin pale that shade of white before. Though, Seras couldn’t make fun, seeing that was in just as much a compromising position as he was, though it could been worse, it could have been Pip or Walter walking in on them.

Needless, to say the day did end somewhat eventful, if that includes getting chewed out by your master’s master for taking to long to accomplish a simple task and then watching her master get verbally assaulted by very irate Integra was certainly entertaining, a bit of karmic justice for putting her in such a humiliating position.  

A/N: This was a really strange one-shot/drabble. For whatever reason I headcanon Alucard having a very lax attitude towards nudity. Also, headcanon that Seras is tuned on not just by his voice, but his accent as well.  Comments are welcomed.