#and i needed to share it

[acatwithstockings]

Had a really 'weird' dream tonight. Weird bc it was one of those strangely cinematic ones without an ego insert that are surprisingly coherent and make a ton of sense. Also bc I usually stay away from kidfics and stuff like that bc it just isn't my jam.

So Aziraphale and Crowley had an accidental kid together. But the thing was, they were still not talking. So Crowley didn't know about the kid and Aziraphale had to conceal the pregnancy from the heavenly host and didn't really have the chance to communicate or prepare anything for the kid. So he ended up sneaking down to earth once he went into labor, had the baby in a random hospital and just ditched (Which, Brian ... Wtf that is so out of character).

At any rate the kid ended up in the foster system bc Aziraphale despite trying to send guardian angels their way just couldn't manage so yhea the kid had a really horrible childhood. All while Crowley was still oblivious, bc again Aziraphale tried but just didn't manage to communicate with him. So he is living his slightly depressed life trying to find a purpose while keeping up a friendship with Muriel, who learned a lot about earth and was now a walking incomplete enziclopida, knowing a ton while also never stopping to ask even more questions and trying stuff out. And one day Crowley took a drunken nap in the Bentley and got woken up by a Punk teen trying to relieve him of the content of his glove box. (The Bentley opened the door for them bc of course the Bentley knew what's up).

So yhea turns out the kid had run away from a particularly bad foster home and was living on the street while begging and pickpocketing. So Crowley goes 'ah fuck it , I got nothing else to do anyway' and starts bonding with them bc damn it what they did was really stupid and somebody gotta teach them how to break into a car properly. In the end he ends up adopting the kid and taking on the role of a fully human parent with all the ups and downs of taking on a traumatized teen. Like he really tries hard to not let it slip what he is and so does Muriel bc of course Muriel takes on the pibling role.

One day Muriel got the idea that they should try out one of those DNA services bc wouldn't it be funny to see what their heaven/hell issued earthly corporation got under the hood. They are after all based on real human bodies so imagine all the wackiness. Crowley wasn't on board with the idea for obvious reasons but the kid was super into it, also bc they hoped they might get a clue for where they actually came from. So Muriel and the kid convinced Crowley to just go along with it.

So they did the DNA kit all together and the results show the kid and Crowley are directly related. The kid ended up feeling betrayed and running away again bc they finally trusted someone and then it turned out they lied to them ? Especially since Crowley's reaction was to deny the possibility and get really defensive and pissed when pressed. In the end Crowley ends up 'running away' as well since he was also completely overwhelmed and couldn't cope with the implications. And then Muriel adding things up decided they wanted to confront Aziraphale in hopes of getting to the bottom of it ...

And then I woke up ....

[burritowitch]

meanwhile, tim 🤝 terry being called pretender

[ensign-spider]

Data walks out to a waiting crowd in 10 Forward. He is dressed as a daisy, complete with a stalk, leaves, and petals all made out of some kind of tulle. Data takes one look around the crowd before the pianist begins to play.

"I am a flower/from sun I get power

I cannot grow from its antithesis

The sun shines so bright/and I absorb all that light

In the process known as... photosynthesis."

Deanna and Beverly look on with glee. Will shoots Data an encouraging smile as he nails his part in the Science Show. Data walks off stage, allowing way for the next act (a protein cell), head held high.

[possumkingluca]

just had a vision of the legends arceus protagonist having a tea party with the creation trio and arceus

[deathfavor]

Listen listen listen, i LOVE when stories lean into the fact that gods and entities don't have the same values as humans do. Emotions yes (or some) but different values. They don't see things the same way humans do because they aren't human. (And if you've ever written or read some of my threads with my Lucifer, he's commented on it before). Their principles (if they have them) aren't the same. Even Thoth who is arguably one of the best muses I have and the kindest of the gods doesn't look at things the same. Sometimes things have to happen, or there's certain things they 'must' do if disrespected and so on and so forth. It's just GOOD okay.

[ourplacetobefree]

“I know! Why don’t you try it? Let me go and I’ll lend it to you!” Wei Wuxian bribed hysterically, desperate to escape from this encounter by any means necessary. And then, his eyes blew wide, realizing what he just said. ‘Wait— just what am I offering Lan Zhan?!’ he thought. How was he so stupid, how did he just offer that without thinking—

“You want me...to use it… after you?” Lan Zhan asked, his voice unusually faint.

~*~

Wei Wuxian's test of mysterious, literally magical sex toy goes awry when Lan Wangji finds him in the woods 'experimenting' with it and it ends up in Lan Wangji's possession.

Unfortunately, neither of them is aware that the toy is anchored to Wei Wuxian's body. Too bad Wei Wuxian invited him to try it.

[bulbabutt]

i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[kiwi]

everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name

[skiaskai]

[sedgewick-gayble]

roaring twenties tumblr simulator pt. 2

🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow

men be like "i would never succumb to homosexuality" and then hold a mans face tenderly as he lights his cigarette with his own. okayy pansy we see you

( 655 notes )

💄 thewhoringtwenties Follow

art deco more like art dicko! aaaand post

( 27 notes )

🎥 claras-bowtie Follow

attended a petting party last saturday and there were no animals not even at all :(

#WHY WOULD THEY CALL IT THAT

( 12 notes )

🕯 tuberculosiswarrior Follow

i lov my mother and father so nuch forever i cannot wait to attend my new job at the dubious factory where there have never been any machinery incidents evr before

( 73 notes )

🎩 Rate-my-setup Follow

Submitted by anonymous.

( 3,887 notes )

thebeesknees Follow reblogged 🔁 jazzcat Follow

🎺 jazzcat Follow

The cocaine in coca-cola just doesnt hit the same anymore....

📰 itsallcopacetic Follow

OP they took out the cocaine

🎺 jazzcat Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY TOOK OUT THE COCAINE

🕰 thebeesknees Follow

tumblr heritage post

( 13,985 notes )

🚬 runrummer Follow

Hes so puppycoded

( 8 notes )

moonshiningitup Follow reblogged 🔁 moonshiningitup Follow

🥃 moonshiningitup Follow

The eroticism of the machinery incidents at the dubious factory

🥃 moonshiningitup Follow

Easy website

( 12,109 notes )

🥂 cake-eater Follow

There is a gang war in Chicago. The first gang to get to 100 kills, gets to take over that part of the city. You NEED to be careful, Babe Ruth. You could be at high risk because of your high status. PLEASE be safe, everyone in or around Chicago, and please reblog this to get it to the celebrities in Chicago

( 20,098 notes )

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton and Jeremy Fitzgerald are FNAF besties..

[8catsinatrenchcoat]

david tennant character vs. weeping angels

[bixels]

me too, luna.

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)