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ellebabywrites · 5 years

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The Power Of Touch - Yoon Jeonghan

Type : Oneshot // Angst // Fluff // Smut

Warnings : Sensitive subjects and possibly triggering themes // TouchAversion!au

Word Count : 5945

Author Note : This story is completely self indulgent and personal to me because I suffer with touch aversion , that has got exponentially worse lately , so here’s a little piece of something from my heart 💕

Disclaimer : Not everyone with TA uses gloves as it doesn’t always help. For example some people are okay as long as it’s not skin-to-skin . I don’t use gloves personally but I can’t handle much or even any contact . I included them in this story to better tell the narrative and show the character progression :)

Sight. Smell. Taste. Sound. Touch. Touch. Touch.

Holding hands. A kiss goodbye. A high five. A hug. Touch connects us. When you lose that connection, it’s impossible to describe how alone you become. When you can’t reach out and touch, it feels like you’re drifting through life with no one there to catch you, nothing to keep you grounded in reality. There’s no comfort. No home. It is the loneliest feeling in the world. Isolation is detrimental.

Touch Aversion, or TA, can come around for a number of reasons; for many people it’s a reaction to a trauma that’s happened in their lives, a form of PTSD; for others it’s a symptom of OCD. For you, it’s a side effect of anxiety. There wasn’t any big traumatic event that caused you to be like this, you weren’t hurt as a child, never involved in anything particularly bad. It just happened.

You’ve been like this for as long as you can remember. The feeling of being touched making your skin burn and body cringe away; triggering panic attacks as you suddenly don’t feel safe. In some twisted way you feel safer in that bubble, being separate from the world - but like everyone you have moments. When all you want to do is curl up in someone's’ chest; to be held - but you can’t because it hurts too much.

The only person you’ve ever let close enough to touch you is Joshua. Joshua Hong; your best friend since preschool. He was with you before the TA started and he’s been by your side through it all. He understood your boundaries and made sure you felt safe and cared for in other ways; like bringing you an extra banana milk for lunch every day in 5th grade, or buying your first pair of gloves in 8th. Unconventional yes, but wearing gloves works as an extra barrier of protection, making life that little bit easier day to day. Besides, they made you feel fancy and who doesn’t like feeling fancy every now and then.

Growing up, Joshua always tried to help you open up to other people, but you just couldn’t. Then came adulthood and dating started becoming an issue. People didn’t understand it, and why would they? What kind of relationship can you have without touch? So you went on your fair share of first dates; dinners and movies that ended abruptly with the touch of a hand or even waist - until you gave up all together. You’ve lived alone in this bubble for most of your life, you could survive.

“Y/N please,” Joshua was laying on your bed whining while you were sorting through your latest portfolio, “It will be good for you and you know it. It’s just one date!” You’d invited him over to help you narrow down the shots from your latest photography job, but of course Joshua had managed to segway into setting you up on a blind date.

“Josh I seriously need your help here,” You lift two photos up in front of him, “left or right for the black and white?” you ask, face devoid of any emotion a his eyes narrow in on you, sizing you up to find the best way of breaking you down.

“Right, it’s pretty” he caves, a sigh escaping his lips as he falls back down on the mattress, “Jeonghan’s a good guy Y/N, Cheol’s been trying to set him up for months and I really think the two of you would hit it off.”

Joshua was relentless, you’re his best friend and he just wants to see you happy. Lately you’ve been burying yourself in work, avoiding hang outs and calls; entering, what Josh calls, the dark and twisty place.

“It’s not supposed to be pretty, it’s supposed to be strong,” you avoid his sharp gaze at your blatant change of subject, continuing to piece photos together inside the binder.

It took a beat for you to give in to the lasers pointed at the side of your face, sighing as you turn back to him, “you know dates for me don’t work Josh, it’s a waste of time for both me and him.” Joshua looks at you with such pity, seeing the way you try to hide the drop of your smile, forcing your lips to stay pulled up, looking anywhere but him.

“Y/n,” he calls your attention, “Han is one of my best friends, he’s worked at the company with me for years,” he stands up and reaches for your bare hands. It wasn’t until 11th grade that you felt comfortable enough to let him touch you skin-on-skin; since then Joshua has been your only source of physical contact, the only one you felt safe with. “I trust him. If it makes you feel better I can explain it to him before, so there’s no surprises?”

He was looking down at you with those big doe eyes, slowly drawing circles on your wrists with his thumbs - how could you say no?

Reluctantly, you nod.

“Please talk to him first, I think if there’s another Creepy Steve incident i’ll never leave the house again,” you laugh half-joking. Creepy Steve had been a guy from one of your shoots who had asked you to dinner and then tried to feel you up under the table.

---

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Why did you always let Joshua talk you into these things? You wanted to be anywhere but here; sitting at a table in the middle of the new Italian restaurant downtown, waiting for your blind date to show up. It’s been months since you were last on a date, Creepy Steve be damned, and you were nervous. You fiddled with the hem of your gloves, constantly pulling them up and adjusting the fingers, trying to calm yourself down. Joshua had shown you a photo of Jeonghan shortly after the date had been confirmed, he was gorgeous, which typically meant this was about to go very badly.

Just outside the front of the restaurant, Jeonghan was standing adjusting his dress shirt and smoothing his hair down. He was just as, if not more, nervous than you were. For years he’s heard about you from Joshua, how incredible you were, how kind, how cheerful. He’d seen the picture of Josh and you at graduation on his colleagues desk everyday, he’d seen how beautiful you were. He was nervous.

Joshua had filled him in a little bit about your TA beforehand and Jeonghan had immediately went away and did some research, worried encase he did anything that would make you uncomfortable. Deciding it was time to bite the bullet and go in, Jeonghan takes one final deep breath before entering.

There you were. Sitting on a table in the centre of the restaurant, eyes cast downwards and hair swept to the side. He could see your fingers toying with the gloves on your hands and he suddenly felt a lot more relaxed knowing you were nervous too.

“Y/N?” Hearing your name knocks you out of the daze you’d drifted into; lifting your gaze to meet the man you’d been waiting for.

“Yes, um, hi,” he was a lot more beautiful in person, “Jeonghan right?” you stand to greet him but he stops you, holding his hands up and giggling shyly. If you looked close enough you’d see the faint blush that was beginning to paint his face and neck, but luckily for him your own nerves were keeping your eyes trained on the table between you.

The both of you sit down and order food, occupying the silence with small talk while you wait.

“Your gloves are very pretty,” Jeonghan compliments, not missing the way you try and hide your hands at the sudden attention. Worried he thought you were being rude wearing gloves at the table, your face blushes a deep purple and you look back to the ground.

“I’m sorry, I have a… a thing, the gloves.. Um,” through your flustered state you try to explain yourself but your words fall short. Jeonghan thinks he like seeing you flustered. The way your eyes grow larger and cheeks flush makes you look incredibly cute. He can see you stuttering and takes a second to smile warmly at you.

“Don’t worry, Joshua told me a little bit about it,” you visibly relax at that, thankful that your best friend hadn’t just left you in the deep end this time, “he’s told me a lot about you actually, you’re in photography?” Jeonghan asked, genuinely interested to hear about you.

The conversation flowed naturally, both talking in length about your work and lives over dinner. You tell Jeonghan about the trip you took to Paris last year for one of your photography jobs and you learn that he works at the same tech company as Joshua.

“Is that how you met Josh?” you ask, taking a sip of the red wine he had refilled for you not a moment before.

“Oh no, I met Shua through Seungcheol first, then when I got the job at the company we all just got closer,” he smiles remembering the two friends and you find yourself smiling along with him. “What about you?” he asks, “how did you meet Joshua?”

“We’re childhood friends,” you tell him, “Josh has been with me for my entire life, but he must be getting tired of me lately, he’s always trying to set me up,” you giggle, feeling light from the wine and comfortable enough now to joke with Jeonghan.

He watches you. A million thoughts racing through his mind; how badly he wants to brush that stray piece of hair out of your face, if your lips are as soft as they look, “I don’t think anyone could get tired of you,” he confesses, loving the way your neck flushes a dark red at the compliment. Joshua had warned him you found it difficult to open up to people, but so far you had seemed to be calm and just enjoying each other's company; the conversation flowing throughout the entire night. Jeonghan liked you, and as much as you’d like to deny it, you liked him too.

He walked you back to your apartment after dinner. Maybe it was because he was Joshua’s friend and he trusted him that made you feel more comfortable with Jeonghan than you usually do with strangers. When you get to the door of your apartment you both lingered, not quite wanting to leave each other just yet. Jeonghan didn’t know what to do, usually he’d kiss his date goodnight but he knew better with you, “Can I have your number?” he asked shyly instead. After exchanging numbers, the two of you take a second to just stare at each other sweetly, before you bursting in a fit of embarrassed giggles. “I hope we can do this again, I had fun.”

Your lips pulled up into a small smile and you nodded, fiddling with your keys, “I would like that.”

“Goodnight Y/N,” Jeonghan sends you a wave before making his way back to the elevator and you enter your apartment. Leaning against the door and sliding down to the floor as soon as you’re inside. You really liked him, and that scared you.

---

The next morning, you were woken up by Joshua loudly slamming your front door and calling out for you from the kitchen.

“Y/N! Wake up, I’m here for tea!!” he was calling over and over again. Begrudgingly, you force yourself up and out of bed, throwing on an old hoodie and shorts, before going out to greet your noisy friend. He was standing in your kitchen, pouring out two cups of coffee.

“I thought you said you wanted tea?” you ask, still half asleep and pushing your hair out of your face, “there’s some on the top shelf in the cupboard.”

Joshua gives you a look that says ‘are you kidding me’ before sliding over one of the cups.

“Not literal tea Y/N, I mean tell me about your date,” he explains, sitting down opposite you at the table, waiting for you to spill the previous nights events.

You really should have expected the interrogation. Jeonghan was one of his best friends too, of course he would want to know everything. It was scary enough having all the thoughts and feelings that came along with Jeonghan, but actually saying it out loud was another story - so instead you decided to play it cool.

“It was… fine,” you hummed, taking a sip of coffee, that was far too bitter, and avoiding eye contact.

“Fine??” Joshua presses,

“Good.. okay it was good.”

Sitting back on his chair, Joshua looked at you for a moment, taking note of how red your ears were getting and the slight bounce of your leg before his face breaks out into a teasing smile, eyes glistening and mouth twitching.

“You like him don’t you! I knew it, I knew you two would be perfect together! Wow I’m such a matchmaker, why am I still in the tech business?” he teased, not giving you any room to protest as he stood up to give you a tight hug and kiss to the temple.

Only Joshua could touch you like that and it wouldn’t send you into a hyperventilating fit, that’s why you always kept everyone at such a distance; always kept your feelings in a teeny tiny box at the back of your mind. But somehow Jeonghan had managed to open up that box and set all those feelings free, after only one date. Getting you to admit it to yourself was going to take a lot more than one of Joshua’s bubbling rants.

---

Similarly to with you, on the other side of town Seungcheol was busy questioning Jeonghan, wanting to know all the details.

Were you like how Joshua described you? Were you even more beautiful in person? Did he fuck up and accidentally touch you? Did you even show up?

“I’m not saying a word Cheol,” Han was adamant, turning away from the other boy, suddenly finding the couch cushions very interesting.

“C’mon Han, give me something! What is she like?” Seungcheol knew that he’d never get Han to break, but his curiosity was out of control. To them, you were this mysterious goddess Joshua had told them stories about but they’d only ever seen in pictures; Seungcheol couldn’t even deny the small ping of jealousy when Jeonghan had gotten a date with you first.

“She’s nice.” Hannie says flatly, enjoying teasing Cheol way too much to give him any more.

“Nice? Nice enough to see her again? Han you can’t leave me hanging like this!” Seungcheol was too busy whining to notice Jeonghan typing out a message to you on his phone, struggling to repress a smile.

> Hey it’s Han, I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee later?

> Sure I'd love too, let me just get rid of Josh then I'll get ready :)

He giggled, guessing he wasn’t the only one getting grilled about last night.

---

You went on many dates with Jeonghan after that. Between constantly texting and calling each other, for some reason you just couldn’t stay away. At one point you had spoken to Jeonghan more than you had Joshua, and that was saying something. You liked being around him. You liked how he never pushed too hard, never did anything that could trigger you; but still had a good time.

Jeonghan liked spending time with you too. Every time his phone buzzed, he found his heart skipping a beat at the hope of it being you. He was falling fast. Touching wasn’t even an issue, he just enjoyed your company. Sure there are times when he wants to reach out and hold your hand or lean over to kiss your cheek; but then he hears you giggle at something over the phone, or sees how excited you get over those designs on your coffee, and he realises he’s happy to wait as long as you need, as long as he gets to spend this time with you.

When you take away touch from a relationship; and let’s be honest, this was a relationship; you grow close on a whole other level. You notice so much more and learn so much more about the other person. All their quirks, their habits; like the way you dig your fingernails into your palms whenever you’re in a crowded place; how you like your coffee with lots of milk or how your nose scrunches up if it’s too bitter. You learn a lot about a person when you take away touch, but only if you’re paying attention, and God was Jeonghan paying attention to you.

The two of you went on lots of coffee dates, fitting them in between his lunch breaks and your shoot schedules. When Jeonghan got some days off from work, he took you on trips out of the city, driving to a photo gallery by the beach where you found new ideas and inspirations for a job you were struggling to plan; as well as spending an entire day inside a movie theatre, moving between showing rooms and binging on popcorn. You hadn’t been this happy in a long time.

On your two month anniversary, Jeonghan took you to that same restaurant from your first date. He pulled out your chair and poured your wine; a habit of his you’ve picked up on. What really surprised you was when he handed over a box wrapped with a dark red ribbon; inside being a beautiful pair of gloves, the same red.

“I noticed you only ever wear black and thought maybe you’d like something different,” he says, looking at you with a shy smile, nervous and trying to gage your reaction.

It was one of the kindest, most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for you. It made your fingers tingle with the need to reach out for his hand, but you stopped yourself, not quite there yet.

It was still incredibly scary for you to let anyone in; you’d grown so close, so attached to Jeonghan in such a short period of time that it terrified you. Every time you got too comfortable or you fingers started drifting just a little closer to his, you pulled back.

It took another month before you gave in to temptation and were finally comfortable enough to not wear gloves around Jeonghan. It was a big step, one that didn’t go unnoticed. Joshua gave you a proud, and almost tearful, look you when you left your gloves on the coffee table when going out to meet Han. He knew how important it was for you.

Jeonghan wore a similar expression when he noticed, eyes constantly drifting to you bare hands and even going as far as asking if you were cold; seeing as you’d been wearing them every day for most of your life, he figured you’d be cold. But you weren’t, the rapid beating of your heart was warming you up just fine.

---

It was a weekend and the pair of you were on a walk through the local park. The weather was just starting to chill as the seasons changed and Jeonghan had been complaining about being stuck in the office too much, so you decided that a morning stroll would refresh you both.

Jeonghan was telling you about his week, which was particularly stressful with deadlines approaching. Lost in conversation, you almost didn’t notice the man chasing after a dog heading your direction, not until the man all but crashed into you. At the sudden contact you instinctively move back, too fast that you lose your footing and fall right into Jeonghan’s chest. Everything goes fuzzy.

All of your senses are in overdrive while simultaneously trying to disassociate; you can hear voices but they seem distant; palms sweaty and shaking as you try and move away again, but your knees buckle. Your breathing becomes irregular and you feel the typical panic attack quickly approaching. Jeonghan, who was holding you up so that you wouldn’t fall to the ground, was trying to get your attention, panicking himself seeing you so distressed.

“Y/N, I’m going to put you down okay? Y/N can you hear me?” he asked, eyes scanning over your face, unsure of what was the best way to help, not wanting to make the situation any worse. Slowly, he guided you to the floor, where he sat directly in front of you, holding out his hands so you could see he wasn’t touching you anymore.

“I’m right here Y/N, everything’s okay, I’m here,” despite being scared out of his mind, Jeonghan kept his voice soft and steady, “We can sit right here till you’re okay, I’m so sorry Y/N, I didn’t want you to fall, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have touched you, it will be okay Y/N.” He was apologising profusely, repeating phrases Joshua had told him helps.

It took a few minutes, but once your breathing had regulated and you were finally starting to calm down. You were beyond embarrassed. Having being caught up in this safe little world with Jeonghan for so long, you had let your guard drop. Not wanting him to see you cry, you bury your face in your knees as you let the tears fall. Beside you, Jeonghan feels like crying too, but he keeps it together enough to whisper calming words to you till you’re ready to stand up and go home.

When you reach your apartment, you turn back to Jeonghan, “I’m really sorry about...that,” you say, voice barely above a whisper and eyes pinned on the floor. You don’t see the way his eyes glass over or lips struggle to contain their trembling.

“It’s okay, it happens,” he is so good, you think, “get some rest Y/N, just call me if you need me,”

Once you’re inside and alone again, you call Joshua. Sobbing down the phone and asking him if he was busy, really needing a hug but feeling too isolated to do anything about it. By the time Joshua arrived at your apartment, you were lying on the floor, curled up in a ball crying. Gently, he lifted you into his lap and lulled you to calm down. You told him everything that happened while he rocked you back and forth, rubbing circles on your back and wiping away the tears from your cheeks.

“You should have seen his face Josh, he looked so hurt, it killed me,” you cry into his chest, remembering how scared and lost Jeonghan had looked earlier, “I can’t do this to him, he’s so good, he deserves so much; he deserves someone who won’t break down whenever he touches them! I wish i could touch him Josh, I want to hold his hand, I want to hug him, but I can’t, I just hurt him! I can’t keep hurting him!”

Joshua listened to you silently, letting you vent it all out till you fell asleep in his arms. It broke his heart to see you like this; being with you since it started, he knows how hard it can be for you. He was always so worried you were closing yourself off, being too afraid to let people in; then Jeonghan happened and he could see the change in you. You weren’t wearing the gloves as often; you left the house more; you were happier. The last thing Joshua wanted was for you to go back into yourself, he’d never be able to get you out again. So, once he had tucked you into bed, he immediately left to see Jeonghan.

---

Jeonghan is in a similarly distressed state when Joshua get’s to his apartment. He’s pacing around the kitchen, eyes red and puffy.

“Is Y/N okay?” he asks, stopping the second he sees Joshua, “Is she hurt? What do I do Josh? I touched her, I’m such an idiot I can’t believe I did that, does she hate me?”

It took Joshua a while to get Jeonghan calm enough to talk everything through. Assuring him you didn’t hate him and you were okay. “It’s not your fault Han, Y/N told me what happened and she feels really bad,” he explains.

“What?” Jeonghan looked up from his shaking hands with scrunched up eyebrows, “Why does she feel bad, she didn’t do anything?”

Joshua looks at his friend with pity. How can these two people who are so obviously in love with each other just not admit it?

“Han. Do you love her?”

It takes a moment, but soon enough Jeonghan is spilling his heart out, confessing every thought and feeling he’s ever had for you since you’d met. How his chest feels like it’s going to explode every time he sees your face, or the way he continuously gets lost in the sparkle of your eyes whenever you’re talking about your work.

The whole time Joshua sits and listens carefully, taking note of the smile that spreads across Han’s face when he talks about you.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her,” he confesses.

“She loves you too you know,” Josh says softly, not sure if he should really be the one to tell him but also knowing you probably never will, “She loves you so much that she thinks she’s hurting you. She wants you to be happy even if it’s without her,”

Jeonghan feels his heart clench. He’s happy with you; he doesn’t want to lose you, he doesn’t want you to feel like you don’t deserve him.

“She... she can’t do that… that’s… I need to see her,” he picked up his coat and was making his way out the door when Joshua reached out to stop him.

“That’s not a good idea right now Han,” Joshua slowly pulled the keys out of his hands, “Just give her a day, let her calm down again and she’ll be okay.”

---

Waking up the next day you feel exhausted and you’re left with a raging headache. Panic attacks always took a lot of you, draining you of all your energy and leaving you as a zombie for at least the next day. There’s a ‘Goodnight, sleep well xx’ text on your phone from Jeonghan but you can’t find the strength to reply; falling naturally into your dark and twisty place, ignoring everything and running on autopilot.

You have a day-long shoot down town so you quickly get dressed; grab your equipment and make your way out the door. Not forgetting the red gloves Jeonghan had gotten you.

By the time lunch rolls around you’ve completely submerged yourself in work, desperately trying to avoid any reminder of the day before. And it was going well; you’d managed to get some great shots and you were already starting to feel a little better. That is until you spotted Jeonghan talking to your assistant at the back of the room. How long had he been here? Why was he here?!

“There you are, is the shoot going well?” He asks when you’d made your way over, why was he acting so normal?

“Um..Yeah it is, Hannie why are you here?” you can’t look him in the eye, all of the embarrassment and hurt rushing back. He swallows dryly seeing your timid reaction to him but after what Josh said, he had to show you, prove that he was here for the long haul.

“I’m taking you to lunch, there’s a café not far from here that has the best coffee,” He’s smiling at you so softly, how could you say no?

It’s awkward. Neither of you quite being able to look the other in the eyes. Jeonghan orders you both a sandwich and coffee, leading you to a table near the back, presumably so you could both cry in private. When you’re both seated and let the silence sink in, he takes a deep breath and looks at you.

“I love you.” he says firmly, he had one shot at this and he was going to make sure you heard him, “I am completely, madly, helplessly in love with you.” Your breathing hitches as you stare back at him; no one had ever said those words to you before.

“Joshua told me how you were feeling but I’m telling you no. Don’t give up on us, because I’m in love with you and I think you love me too; and I know it will be hard and long and i’ll probably make a mistake sometimes but it’s worth it, because I love you so much and I don’t want to let you go.”

It’s overwhelming, but for once it’s not the scary kind. Everything feels warm and safe, sitting here with Jeonghan, who’s telling you all these things you’ve only ever dreamt of hearing and knowing that he’s being sincere and that you feel the same. His eyes are glassy as tears start to build up the more he speaks, telling you everything and hoping that you’ll accept him.

You can’t speak, not sure of what to say that could possibly get across how you feel, so you do something that you’ve been wanting to do for months. You reach over the table and wipe away a stray tear from his cheek, placing your hand down on his hand and softly rubbing circles across his knuckles. You’re still wearing the gloves he bought you but the action is enough for Jeonghan to know what you’re thinking. Tentatively he flips his hand over, linking his fingers with your own and you both start sobbing.

---

Over a year later and so much has changed. Over time and with Jeonghan’s help you managed to open up more and more. TA becoming less of an obstacle in your relationship. Holding hands on your walks through the park; experiencing your first kiss, which went from quick pecks on the cheek to full on make outs; even cuddling at night became a regular occurrence. You’d let him in. It felt good to have someone, other than Joshua, that you felt comfortable enough to touch; suddenly the world became less lonely and a little brighter. Your skin a little warmer and overall you were just happier.

Of course with the highs, came the lows. There were still struggles and it did put a strain on your relationship every now and again. Sometimes, when your anxiety peaked, you couldn’t even let Joshua touch you; or when you’d both been busy with work for a while and not seen each other, it took some time to open back up again. But together you pushed through, and things had never been better.

Not long ago the two of you had decided to get an apartment together, somewhere closer to Jeonghan’s work than his and Cheol’s old place. It was another milestone for you and things couldn’t have gone better. All the boys had helped you both move, and by second night everything was set up. Jeonghan was your forever. This was your forever, and you couldn’t wait.

Naturally you were starting to want more, so of course you knew Jeonghan must have been feeling the same. It had been so long and he had been so patient; but it was getting harder to ignore the subtle poking in your back every morning or the way your panties would be damp after a particularly heated make out session on the couch.

You were more than ready to take this next step, you just didn’t know how to bring it up.

You’re both lying on the couch, legs entangled, watching some movie Joshua had recommended. To be completely honest you had no idea what was happening in said movie, far too distracted by the way Jeonghan’s chest moved up and down with every breath he took; the way his lips curled ever so slightly when he found something funny; how his fingers had been toying with the hem of your t-shirt for the last 20 minutes.

Feeling suddenly needy and confident, you stretch your neck up and place a soft kiss on the side of his neck. Jeonghan looks down at you in shock at your sudden boldness, but there’s a smirk on his face that says he liked it

“Are you okay?” he asks, brushing his fingers through your hair. You do it again, moving higher towards his jawline.

“Need you,” you murmur against his hot skin, kissing him again and feeling his jaw twitch beneath your lips, “I want you Hannie.”

You look up at him with big eyes, trying to convey what you needed, but Jeonghan was still hesitant. Of course he’d wanted to be intimate with you for so long, but he didn’t want to pressure you or move too quickly; but here you were, right in front of him, saying that you needed him and he could feel his resolve quickly melting away.

“Are you sure? Like, really really sure Y/N?” he asks nervously, not wanting you to say no but also scared that you’ll say yes.

“I’m ready Hannie, I want this, please,” and that was all he needed to pick you up and take you into the bedroom.

Everything was slow and careful, Jeonghan wanting to take his time and show you how much you mean to him; it being your first time, he wanted to make it memorable. He slowly pulled off your clothes, letting his fingers dance on the skin beneath. Your body shivered at the foreign feelings; his lips on your stomach; his hands dragging your underwear down your legs; it felt good. He was gentle, treating you as if you were the most delicate thing he’d ever seen, making sure not to go too fast and overwhelm you. Feeling brave, you reach out and tug on his t-shirt, lifting it over his head before throwing it to the side.

You touched him. Fascinated by the warmth of his bare skin, the bumps and curves, you traced your fingers across his entire chest, causing Jeonghan to moan softly. Once he’d removed the rest of his clothes, he grabs a condom from one of the bedside draws and you smirk up at him. He’d been ready for this, you think.

“What?” he questions the look, loving the attention you’re paying him,

“Nothing,” you whisper back, “I love you.”

When he thrusts into you for the first time you’re left breathless; it was a feeling you’d never experienced before and you wanted more. Slowly, Jeonghan starts to move, checking everything was okay before he made any movements, making sure you were comfortable. And you were. You had never felt as safe and as loved as you did right now. The whole time Han whispers praises and how much he loves you into the crook of your neck; while you drag your fingers down the space of his back, feeling the muscles underneath move with every thrust.

Soon enough you’re overwhelmed with emotions as you feel yourself come, tightening around him and moaning loudly into his shoulder; only for him to follow soon after, kissing you deeply and holding you close.

Afterwards, you’re lying on Jeonghan’s chest, softly tracing patterns on his skin.

“You’ll never want to stop touching me now,” he jokes, doing the same on your back and feeling your heartbeat mirror his own through his chest.

“You’re right,” you play along, kissing his chest and snuggling up into his neck.

“Good,” he whispers back, relishing in the feeling of having you so close as you both drift to sleep.

309 notes · View notes

michin--yeoja · 6 years

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Hi again ^^ Sorry I'm still anon and haven't been responding. I got hit with a huge wave of work and have barely slept the last few days. But it's all over now and I'll get your gift to you soon!! Biotech is essentially trying to make a biological product! It's a huge field so there's a lot of things from like pharmaceuticals, cell therapy, to things like bio-remediation and environmental stuff. Your genetics teacher might be thinking about bioinformatics which is biotech and a lot of coding XD

But good luck with applying to med school! If that’s your dream there are always ways to make it work! I believe in you ^^ Oh I’m from around the New England area. I did my undergrad in New Jersey and now I’m doing my master’s in Rhode Island. Yes I studied in Stockholm! I traveled to the more touristy areas of Europe because I’ve never been to Europe, but I really wanna just take a backpacking trip around one day. There’s so many different places to go TT And so much foooooood

I have been to Taiwan a few times! It’s been a while though. Most of my mom’s side of the family is back there, but my dad’s side of the family is in the US. I have a younger sister! Haha I know what you mean about being asked where you’re from though. When I was abroad I’d get asked where I’m from and I’d say the US, but then one person was like “but where are you REALLY from”. Honestly I also feel pretty out of touch with Taiwanese culture even though I have some habits. I really feel American

I saw True Love but I haven’t had time to hear the whole thing! That’s my weekend goal. But I believe City of Angels (lol laser) was the one he sang at the fanmeet so I’m already in love with that one. So good TT And he wrote that one himself

It was only Myung in the Winter Olympics one! It’s understandable though, there were so many groups in the summer competition one and Infinite was a little neglected imo. But they still managed to get me with hamster gyu and like 5 seconds of Destiny lol. Actually MBLAQ was in this ep too! Lee Joon and Kwangsoo make the most amazing combo ever omg. I def miss the name tag eliminations though. They hardly do them anymore. I really liked the time period when they did creative versions of the game.

Ohhhh I think I’ve heard of MBLAQ Goes to School. I should look into it haha. I’m always up for a laugh. Sesame player was amazing. Lol and those pranks XD I remember (I think it was Dongwoo) was like “when did this become a prank house” after that salt prank and I’m like lol only infinite. Can’t even safely eat food in their own home. These dorks.

Ahhh tell me was so good. I like Infinie’s old style of music but I like this kind of softer edm music too. It’s like the stuff I usually like to listen to lol. Idk if that was a good description of the song but that’s kinda how I see it lol. And Sunggyu and Dongwoo were so good that comeback. Like that second verse was a Donggyu attack. I don’t know if I have a favorite concept from them really? They kind of have everything for every mood. But I have a running play list of their upbeat music.

The stuff like Julia, Amazing, Lately, etc. I keep that playlist around when I’m having a hard time studying and stuff. It brightens my mood. As for english songs I kinda just….turn on the radio and find something I like haha. I don’t really have a preference with those. Ahhh I feel like I did a really bad job of getting to know you, I always just talk about myself haha. Tell me 5 random things that make you like or make you happy that you haven’t talked about!

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for taking forever and an age to reply back to you!!! I’m so sorry, and I don’t even have a good excuse like being busy with work, it’s just honest to goodness pure laziness on my part and not going on my laptop for forever. I hope you haven’t forgotten me and that you’ll reveal yourself!!

I hope you haven’t gotten busy again (you’re graduating this year right?). What are you focusing on in biotech? And I think you may be right about my professor meaning bioinformatics… I vaguely remember that term ^^;

You’ve certainly hopped around during your university years ^^ What countries did you visit in Europe? My parents surprised me by sending me to the UK for 2 weeks after my exams to join my sister there… It was amazing and I’ve always wanted to go there, but we ran out of time to hit everything we wanted to do. We couldn’t go to Ireland, which was my biggest disappointment. What is your most favourite memory from exchange? And what place did you like best?

I actually feel like a complete stranger… I don’t feel Canadian, Singaporean or Indian. I don’t really fit in any place completely, I’m a bit too traditional in Canada, too modern in India and Singapore… Well, I’m not exposed to the culture at all really. Funny thing… Singapore used to be not as well known when I was younger and I remember a kid trying to convince me it was part of the US. Even now, some people think it’s in India. The funniest is actually when I met Chinese international students, so many think that Singapore has only people of Chinese descent. When I explained that my dad’s family is from there and my mother from India, they thought my dad was Chinese.

What’s this whole City of Angels/Laser thing? I’ve seen mention of it, but I don’t get it… Did Sunggyu think the song was called Laser? (This shows up much I keep up with them, except for their music ^^;). You must have heard the album by now… So what’s your favourite? (Also, I didn’t know Sunggyu wrote that… Good to know and it makes me love it even more!)

Um… I think I started giffing around 2013 ish? Then I stopped while in uni, in fact my blog was basically inactive, and only just recently started fooling around on Photoshop again. I was quite atrocious in the beginning and am much fonder of my new stuff. But… I’m also quite lazy so I tend to not gif as much as I want to.

I 100% recommend MBLAQ goes to school. Joon and Mir are such jokesters. Sesame Player is still my favourite variety show to watch, all that screaming and backstabbing… And Sungyeol? He’s just too awesome. I would never have thought of injecting vinegar into bananas the way he did, that was a true genius move. Myungsoo’s, that was predictable, but that banana prank was just first class.

Do you prefer their upbeat songs more or is that just better to run to? My favourite upbeat song is Cover Girl… Have you heard the concert version where Sungyeol raps? I wish he would get a chance to do that in their songs, I think he raps pretty well.

I think we got to know each other pretty well? In fact, I too often think I wrote too much about myself.

5 things I like/make me happy… Hmm…

1. Being with my family - yes, we fight a lot, but we’re also really close and really stupid… My mother is crazy, my father is bullied… They’re what I missed most in uni.

2. I love airports/airplanes! As a child, I used to wish I could live in one ^^

3. Good books and movies… I love reading, but it’s so rare for me to find writing and plot that suits my taste. When I do, I devour the author’s entire works.

4. This is dorky… But I love learning ^^ Maybe it has to do with feeling smart? I love watching Jeopardy, especially if I get the answers right, but also to learn new facts.

5. I love puns… I quite literally cry with laughing over some of them.

Also, last post, but I saw your rant and I hope you’re feeling better :( I get the being introverted thing too. I’m pretty reserved and I like my alone time–there’s nothing wrong with it! I’m sorry you had to listen to all of it TT Please be happy!

Thank you for this! Ahh… Tumblr is my place to rant, but I tend to get over my anger quickly.

#I'm really sorry T_T #I hope you don't think I forgot about you or was ignoring you #I hate replying on my phone and then I would fall asleep as my laptop started up and then I haven't been online in the past week #Inspirit Buddy #Anonymous #Reply

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opepin · 7 years

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october: week one

02: i woke up real awake but still sore... i went to the fitness center and did my butt workout anyway. i had to quit before finishing all of the exercises because i think i wasn’t at 100% and i also tried squatting and deadlifting 5 lbs heavier and i wore myself out. i’m debating whether i should rest or do my other 30 minute session later today. :/ i also had a lot of work to do before 2 pm today and i needed to be on my computer early so i had to leave right at around 30 minutes. i felt a bit nauseous and weak (maybe side effects from throwing up yesterday) and made breakfast asap. i showered and then made smoothies for breakfast. i hopped on a call with phil right as kevin left for work and then i just had laser focus on work for the rest of the day until 4 pm. i was pretty dead after. x__X tomorrow is also the first day of me leading training. i hope i don’t go too fast. i waited for kevin to come home and then i went to do a second leg session with a portion of the first session’s superset i didn’t finish. i felt okay. i used lighter weights and whatnot. near the end of my workout, i felt like i did good today LOL.

i got back, took out the ingredients for apple pie, showered, and went straight to baking. we bought the crust for the pie so all i had to do was cut the apples and make the sauce / filling. i used only northern spy apples for this pie because one of the workers at the orchard raved about them and when i looked online, i found out that they are popular pie apples. i tasted them while i was cooking and boy, these apples are delicious! so i sliced the apples, made the sauce, and then put the top crust on terribly LOL and popped it into the oven. kevin’s braised pork with apple was going to take a long time to cook so i popped in some chicken nuggets as well. we realized that it’d be too late to eat the pork for today’s dinner so i made rice and steamed some veggies and we’d eat leftover braised beef from the rice cake soup. kevin went to run and i just chilled out until he came back to eat dinner. oh, the apple pie baked in an hour and it is delicious! i think it’s a bit too sweet for my taste but kevin loves it :) we ate dinner ate like 10 pm while watching an episode of westworld and my stomach just kinda died. idk, i was cramping or something... i felt terrible when i went to sleep.

03: i am super exhausted and tired for some reason and my stomach still hurts. i’m definitely gonna take it easy today. i slept in this morning but got up in time to prepare myself for the first day of leading training. i made breakfast for myself after kevin left and then hopped on the 2 hour training session. it went pretty well! phil said my pace was great and i did amazing (: he also said that i made him feel relaxed, which made me feel better about my performance haha. by the time we finished, i felt even more exhausted. i hopped on stand up and then after, ate my lunch at 2 pm. i watched some youtube videos while eating and then took off my glasses and rested my eyes for a bit. maybe i went too hard yesterday? my entire back hurts and my legs are sore. i feel like a limp doll. i hope stretching today helps. i’m thinking of just taking a short walk on a treadmill while kevin works out (if he doesn’t go climbing today). then i got myself to do some prep work for thursday, which is a CRAZY day because i have a meeting at 9 until 11 am then 11 am straight to 1 pm again. i believe i am leading the second meeting as well. x__x;

i got myself to purchase the uniqlo mom jeans i’ve been eyeing, the umbra jewelry holder for the top of our chest, and pure food protein powder so i can stop killing my stomach with whey and sugar alcohols in the protein bars i bought last week or so. mmm. then i went back to work and hopped on a quick call with phil to start going over material for thursday’s session. after work, i just laid on the sofa and rested my eyes. i felt pretty nauseous. i got myself to stretch for 40 minutes or so while watching / listening to an episode of ‘beat shazam.’ i felt a lot better after stretching. kevin came back home from a climbing event with wings. the garlic parmesan ones he brought back tasted too much like artificial cheese :( we showered and then microwaved leftovers for dinner. i opted for rice and just my mom’s black chicken soup because i felt like poop. we watched an episode of westworld and then kevin went to game while i walked around to try to get some low level physical activity in. lol. i received our target package in the mail today and i tried on the denim jacket and the kitten heels i got. the denim jacket is cute but too big. :( so i ordered a small online and will return the other one. the kitten heels are perfect and i will use them for formal occasions now :) i walked around trying to break them in a bit.

i hopped into bed and used my yoga toe stretchers because my feet were feeling a bit sensitive after walking. then i brushed and got ready for bed. i went to sleep before 12 am and that is a great feat for me these days. woot! i was feeling a good amount better but i wasn’t sure how i will feel in the morning.

04: i could have woken up at 7:15 am but i didn’t feel like it. plus, my stomach was hurting again. i felt a lot better though. i got up at 8 am and then did cardio kickboxing. then i showered and washed my hair :D and made myself a smoothie -- that caused my stomach to hurt a bit more so maybe i should have stuck to my rice and soup combo. then kevin left for work and i hopped on the computer and started responding to emails and what not. i found out that ‘shokugeki no soma’ season 3 is out and darien suggested watching ‘restaurant to another world’ so i’m excited to start binging shows again! also, digimon adventure tri series’ last part is out and i can’t wait to watch that too. ahhh! i got on a call with phil and dave to go over the material for tomorrow and then phil had a call so that’s when i took my lunch. i watched some youtube videos while eating and then watched the newest episode of ‘shokugeki no soma.’ i think phil took a longer lunch so did some tweaking to our training stuff and went over the training in my head.

when phil got back, we hopped on a call, double checked that everything worked, and then i fixed some things, uploaded the training material, and called it a day. then i started watching ‘restaurant from another world’ until kevin came back home. we had a bit of an argument about doing something with the dishes, but it was about something bigger in the end. i watched some more episodes of the anime and then i went to the yoga studio to do another ab workout. the person spinning in the room left the lights off? so i did the workout in the dark...LOL. kevin came in and told me that an owner let their dog leave a trail of poop down our hallway... he showed me and told me he submitted a complaint / ticket. then i went back to the apartment and cooled off. i waited for kevin to come back and then we had a conversation and it kinda made our argument worse? well, i said my piece and told him that i never meant for whatever we were talking about to turn into a “whose right” kind of argument :/ he said mean things to me though. so we showered and then kevin went to eat and i went in the room to watch anime.

kevin came in later to tell me to eat because it was 9 pm. i was about to eat anyway so i went and microwaved rice with my mom’s soup. then i washed the dishes and made myself an english muffin with pb and banana. i watched more ‘restaurant to another world’ on the sofa and then kevin came and apologized for being mean LOL. we forgave each other (i guess sometimes i come off as stand offish too) and then he went back to gaming and i continued watching my anime. we goofed around before i hit the hay and i went to sleep at 12 am. zzzz. i was tired.

05: i woke up at 7:40 am and then slept in until 8 am. i brushed and then hit the yoga studio to do some arm and shoulder workouts. then i showered and hopped on my 9 am call for the day. i made breakfast while on mute because they were doing a presentation and then i started my day. my day wasn’t as stressful as i thought it would be :O dave just needed me for support on his presentation and then i hopped onto the second training session. we had another technical difficulty but then got through the session nicely. i presented for about an hour and then handed it off to phil for the rest. then we debriefed a bit and i ate lunch until it was stand up. our meeting at 1 pm got moved to next week so my day wasn’t as hectic. after stand up, phil told me to do whatever i want! it was also only around 3 pm so i watched the rest of ‘restaurant to another world’ and then i took a nap after opening my amazon package that contained my umbra jewelry tray (it’s beautiful) and my pure foods protein powder. i felt nauseous again so i napped and kevin got home pretty early!

kevin booked our christmas tickets and we ordered from hakata ramen! after watching ‘restaurant from another world’, i was craving katsu soo badly. i ordered katsu curry, karaage, and “ebi shrimp” and then went to work out. kevin gave my contact info because he might have been busy when the delivery guy got there. well, halfway during my arm workout, kevin came in and checked my phone LOL. he said the guy called me 6x times and angrily walked over to our door to deliver it. my phone didn’t have signal x_X so i didn’t get anything. oh well. we know next time! i also didn’t care as much as i should have in the moment because i was lifting and in the zone LOL. kevin left and i continued my workout. afterward, i got back to the apartment and asked kevin to elaborate. lol. then i ate more than half of the food we got LOL. the katsu and karaage were so delicious. the “ebi shrimp” was fried shumai -__-” that was not what i wanted. then i showered and kevin cooked pork chop with apples for himself for dinner ahha. after he ate, we played castle crashers with ryan and terence! it was pretty fun (((: they rq’d at around 11 pm our time and then kevin and i cleaned up and i got ready for bed and went to sleep before 12 am. i was pooped.

06: i woke up later than usual but then did my hiit workout in the morning anyway. i showered while kevin made us egg bacon breakfast sandwiches. they were delicious!! then i microwaved myself the last slice of pie and then started to get to work. i thought i was going to do some recordings but other stuff came in with higher priority. i watched 15 minutes of the new digimon tri series movie section and then worked all day. i also tried my pure foods protein powder with my panyong tea and it was delicious... except for when the powder settled when i didn’t drink my tea all at once. lol but the rest of the day, my cup had a hint of vanilla <3 when i took breaks, i got the chance to pick up my book of the month package :D i got two books for free this month! hehe. then i worked until 5:30 pm or so and started compliance training for genpact... it is pretty long... kevin got back home and waited for me to finish the first segment so that we could go game. we played castle crashers and then we started playing this new game kevin got called, ‘trine 2.′ the graphics are beautiful and the characters are cool but the steam controller isn’t 100% compatible.

we ate fried rice made with leftovers for dinner. i believe today was the day we finished watching westworld! lol it was an interesting ending and very climatic. we might watch season 2 when it comes out. i think we will actually. for the rest of the day, i think we continued to game together or i just chilled while kevin went running and then i went to sleep zzzz. what a great way to start the weekend :D

07: we were going to get our monthly massage today! i was pumped and i wanted to get the most out of it so i woke up and went straight to the yoga studio to do a full body strength workout haha. then i rushed back home, showered, and made kevin and i smoothies before driving over to the massage place. omg, this lady gave me the best neck/head massage and she really did focus on my legs too. i would say this is one of the best massages i’ve ever had. she was great. after our super great massage, we walked over to oh my tea and i got the honey oolong boba and kevin got a passionfruit smoothie with boba. we split an egg puff -- it was delicious. we drove to target from there so i could exchange / pick up my jean jacket in a small. the small fits me way better so i returned the medium. while i was picking up my jacket, kevin found these adorable polar bear salt and pepper shakers so we bought them. then we drove home and i watched the newest chunk of digimon adventure tri and finished compliance training. we didn’t really have a lunch so i baked chicken nuggets and then we meal planned and headed out to get groceries. before we left, we scheduled delivery for dinner. guess what? i ordered tonkatsuuuu <3 kevin got tempura ramen and we also ordered the real ebi shrimp LOL.

we spent a good amount of time looking for the large kikkoman soy sauce but they were sold out apparently. then we decided to get the cheaper snowy mooncakes because all of the small mei xin ones were sold out and the larger ones were still $36-48!! then we drove over to bj’s and used coupons and loaded up on toilet paper and other kitchen ingredients. we got a pretty good shock when the car wouldn’t start up. we could put the key into the ignition and turn it but the brake wouldn’t depress -- it was rock solid. kevin tried checking the front, i tried looking at the manual, and in the end, i called daniel because he knows cars and he has a gti, which is similar to my golf. he told us to try pushing the key in with more force and that did it! :D thank you SOOO much daniel!!! you da best. <3 we drove home, unloaded the car, and then kevin said after he parked, the car’s brake stiffened up again. why, bb, why?! we got all the groceries into our apartment and then i made a service appointment. i had to get an oil change anyway.

after all of that, we got our delivery on time and then we ate while watching ‘yakitate! japan.’ i got kevin to watch this anime with me because it is one of my all-time favorite food anime and i knew he’d like the type of humor. after the first two episodes, he said he liked it :D as for dinner, i got real full real quick. some kind soul left some pastries in the lobby for people to take so i got all the different ones and snacked on them too. mm. then we played castle crashers until i got tired. we gamed until late at night and then i stretched before sleeping at like 2 am or something.

08: it was a gloomy af day. i woke up and it was dark and rainy outside. i went to the yoga studio and did a hiit workout that included some 5 lb weights and it killed me LOL. i was sweating so much and sweat was dripping. then i came back and showered only to find kevin still in bed playing pokemon again haha. then i made my breakfast smoothie and i think kevin went for a run so i put on some youtube videos on the roku and started cleaning the kitchen. kevin oiled the cutting board and it left a pool of oil on the island x__x it’s a good thing he came back and helped me wipe that off so i could clean it thoroughly after. i ate leftover tonkatsu for lunch and then we put up all of our artwork, finally! we put some paintings in weird spots but we’ll deal with it. we still have a lot of white left on the walls so if we find anything we like, we’ll probably fill the space in with that. it took longer than we expected to put everything up and kevin went straight to gaming. i chilled out a bit before making apple pie. my sugar mixture / caramel kind of separated (i think i boiled it for too long on accident) so i topped the pie with some cinnamon sugar mixture to get a crunchier top. there was also no dough on top because i wanted to try and bake an “open face” pie haha. it turned out better than i expected but kevin does prefer the normal / traditional pie haha.

after baking, i did an ab workout in the yoga studio. my hips were killing me a bit so i tried to not do moves that required my hips, but i think that failed ahha. i came back and showered before running to the katsu curry kevin made for dinner. yassss, katsu for 3 days straight; i’m in heaven. we ate while watching more ‘yakitate! japan’ and then cleaned up and played some more castle crashers on our steam box. apparently, we finished the game?? the game is pretty short tbh haha. i was pretty tired by the time we finished but we snuck in a game of gang beast and it was LOL. i brushed up and went to bed at like 12:30 am or something of the sort. i didn’t want this weekend to end :(

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followthatfreckle · 7 years

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It's the circle of lifeeeeeee

Tanzania day 2 This country rocks!! I really do love it. I wouldn't have thought that there would be a big difference between the two counties, but there is. It's just so beautiful here! We got up early this morning, had breakfast, and then left for a morning game drive back through Tarangire national park. I didn't mention yesterday that this park is 1,100 square miles and is the 6th largest park in Tanzania. There are so many parks it would be impossible to see them all. It was a little chilly to start off, and the animals were shy at first, but they finally made an appearance. We saw some Cape buffalo herds, and then we saw a few lonely ones. We learned that the ones by themselves have become too old and the young males chase them away. It's not wonder they are grouchy. I would be too if some young whippersnapper came and kicked me out of the family. Out in the distance we saw a male lion. Oh wait, two male lions. Oh, that's a lie, make it THREE brothers. They were walking and then just plopped down in a perfect row, not far from some of the aforementioned buffalo. It was amazing. Yeah, I wish they would have been closer, but still. There they were, making the same face, sitting in the same pose. Sitting in their natural habitat. Freaking cool! We drove a little further and saw a herd of elephants. I probably have 800 pictures of elephants. They are just so interesting to watch. We learned that the female leads the herd, I mean, duh. We also got to watch the leading lady dig a hole in a dried up waterbed so her baby could suck the water out from below. Apparently elephants can sense water from super far away AND they essentially walk on their tippy toes even though they are massive!! We could have sat there and watched them all day. You can learn so much from just sitting across the road from them. A Dik Dik! A what? Yeah, I typed that correctly. It's the smallest little deer you ever did see. Let me hit you with a couple of super romantic facts that Wolfy gave us. He said it with such charm too that you can't help but love these little guys. Anyways, Dik Diks mate for life. So, they travel just the two of them together. When the female uses the restroom, the male does his business right on top of hers so other males can't detect her and try to steal her away. They also have a gland under their eye that helps them trick predators. I think it has a laser beam in it or something... just kidding. It does secrete some nasty stuff they can rub on tree branches though. What cute, strange little creatures! We also saw more elephants! Shocker. However, these ones were right by the road and some of the young males were having a fun little battle. They fought for a little bit and then one must have gotten tired because he just flopped right down on the ground. Apparently they don't tend to do that because they weigh so much, so we can add it to the list of cool animal behaviors we have seen here! Wow, it's not even noon yet! We drove for a bit and then our guide pulled over so we could try the red banana that grows in this region. Does it taste different than a normal, yellow banana? No. It's just cool because it's small and red. Like me! To break up the drive we stopped at a place just outside the conservation area so people could pee and spend money. Those seem to be the two most popular reasons to stop. The big thing to buy here is tanzanite. Obviously, we are in Tanzania, so a few of the girls bought some rings and such. I struggled here today because I couldn't get myself to buy one and I just can't wrap my head around it sometimes. Did I not buy one because I'm a cheapskate, or did I not buy one because I didn't want one? I'm really proud of myself. I paid for my own trip. I pay for all my own things, but some people get it so easy. They don't have to pay and they get gifts on top of that! I don't want to say I'm jealous, because there is a strong sense of pride for being able to do what I do, but sometimes it just sucks. So I went to sit with all the non-shoppy people and eat french fries and hang out. If I want something next time around I just have to buy it! Lesson learned :) We had a little bit more of a drive to the entrance of Ngorongoro conservation area. We don't get to go down into the crater for a few more days, today we just tickle the rim as we head to the Serengeti. We stopped for a quick break to grab a coffee or some souvenirs while the guides bought our tickets. They have a big model of the crater (actually a caldera) in there with a bunch of the animals you can see. We have seen all of them but one. I couldn't even believe it. We have to see a serval cat in the next couple of days! In Swahili it's a mondo which is pretty fun to say, so I hope we see one. Maybe I miss my kitties at home! Upon entering the park we saw a bunch of baboons. There were even a few baby ones. They look too much like hairy human babies for my liking, but they also have this strange cuteness to them. They just sit and lick fleas off of each other and they definitely don't care if you watch. We definitely watched! The drive around the caldera is amazing. Looking down into it doesn't seem real, but obviously it is. It will be even more exciting to do a game drive through it in a couple of days. Anyways, we stopped to learn about why this area is the cradle of mankind. We saw fossils and bones and stuff that date back way before my time! Students still come to this area every year searching for stuff and they continue to find it! We were way shorter back then, but them and I have the same size of feet. My little feet have come up too much on this trip. Lucy is the name of the first person they put together, so I essentially got to meet her. There are 7 visible layers of sediment in the gorge where they believe a lake used to be millions of years ago. It was pretty interesting if you're into evolution and history and that sort of thing. If you want more info the place is called Olduvai Gorge. It was misnamed, however, as they meant to say Oldupai. You can google it! After this it was finally off to the Serengeti! There are two gates into the Serengeti from the conservation area. The first gate was where we saw our first freshly circumcised Masai warrior. You can tell they just went through it because they have painted their faces white and they have to leave for 6 weeks while it heals. Shows strength or something. It's also a great chance for them to charge you to take their picture. The park isn't enclosed, but the whole perimeter is marked with white pillars so the Masai know they can't pass. No one can live in the park, but the animals are free to come and go as they please! Serengeti is the Masai word for endless plains, and it definitely lives up to its name. It's hard to believe anything can survive here because it is so dry. There were little gazelles grazing on something though. They apparently eat the new shoots of grass to get food and water. Smart, but we just can't see it. We also saw some zebra out there, but really not too much life. We hit the second gate a little bit further in, and this is where you pay and all that jazz. We had a cheers with a beer while our guides bought our tickets! What a nice way to start another great journey! We entered the park and what did we see first? A warthog. Also a Corey Bustard bird. Then, 3 lions napping under a tree. All within 10 minutes of entering the park. This place is going to be epic! I mention the bird because it sounds like they are saying bastard, which it technically should be named because they abandon their babies. I don't much care for birds usually, but these countries have had some really cool ones. The lion king rock is real, guys! I saw it! Ever since then I have had all the songs stuck in my head. The sun was peeking through the clouds in a very magical way also. So I would consider today a win. Driving to our new hotel in the park we also saw quite a few hyenas. We saw some elephants and the usual subjects and then an excellent sunset. We arrived at the hotel just after dark and it's another pretty cool one. I could get used to the 5 star life, but I don't think my checkbook could. We are getting up tomorrow for another game drive and I'm super excited to see what the Serengeti is all about!! Until then!

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