#if he wants guillermo to stick around. its gonna have to be out of the love he has for them. and nandor needs to give him an incentive

[nandermoenthusiast]

i dont think i will ever be over nandor tying guillermos cape with such care and focus. that moment its possibly my favourite from the finale NANDOR ACTS OF SERVICE GUY MAKES ME WANNA CLIMB A WALL and the way hes putting guillermo on equal ground now makes my heart grow 3 sizes

and to be honest i dont think they can go back to where they were before. for anyone whos worried. like yeah he told him “now clean up the body” after he reverted back to human but to me that was more like nandors brain going like. “i cooked now you clean”. he went through such a tremendous amount of work to help guillermo. he had the empathy to recognise the problem. he thought it through concocted a plan. he got the robes and the candles and he painted and hung those banners. he held a fakeass ceremony with all their friends and elders so it looked official. he then also comforted guillermo when he couldnt do it and staked derek himself without a second thought. so maybe its was more of a. i pulled you out of a very hairy situation. can you take care of the body now? (also it IS gonna be hard to let go of certain habits so maybe some comments like this are gonna slip out next season, but that is just because they are useless and in guillermos absence the house fucking imploded in one year lmao… maybe guillermo is gonna teach them how to take care of it themselves next season so they can split the workload and cute shenanigans will ensue)

i just dont think it was mean spirited on nandors part tbh. LAZLO even offered to help. i dont think that was just to have him in the next scene i dont think an unusual detail like that could be just for convenience. i do FULLY believe they are gonna all be on equal grounds next season. and thats gonna be so fucking delicious to me specifically

[emmabirb8]

My condolences to everyone who's been suffering after the announcement that s6 would be the end for Shadows, but tbh, personally, I'm kinda relieved.

Don't get me wrong; I really do love the show. But man, ever since the s3 finale, they've been continually missing the mark, and it has gotten so tiring. Each episode nowadays feels like it's hit or miss, and whatever character arcs they've decided on are not only complicated and ill-fitting, but they're nonsensical based on previous characterization. Guillermo is definitely the most egregious example. I've been wondering lately if maybe Harvey has been less involved with his input into the character more recently because MAN, since the start of s4, he's felt nothing but off.

And honestly, with a show as good as Shadows used to be at its peak, it would only get more and more uncomfortable the more seasons they added seeing how royally they've fucked everything up already. I'm glad to know that at the very least, things can't get worse to a point where I'd become so frustrated I'd stop watching entirely. (That has happened with shows in the past for me, and it is NOT fun.)

I'm sad for the cast because I know they all had a BLAST on set, and it's unfortunate to see such a diverse, progressive, LGBTQIA+ representative series be thrown out so soon, but... I do really feel that this is ultimately for the best.

And hey, there's ALWAYS hype for fan content! The ideas, plot lines, and styles presented in fan art and fics and all other types of fanworks are SO enthralling and, tbh, have been more interesting than what the writers have churned out in canon for a while. I absolutely eat that shit UP. It's all just so *chef's kiss* delicious.

So really, it's never truly over, friends! I imagine this fandom in particular is gonna stick around for pretty much forever, lol.

(Keep in mind this is all my personal thoughts and opinions. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but hey, if you're wearing the same hat, that's cool. I just wanted to dump my reaction somewhere, lol.)

[1im-perfect1]

We don’t consume media, media consumes us “The lost art of the sitcom”:

The way What we do in the shadows is perceived especially with this latest season has made me consider the way we watch media in the past few years. Wwdits is a sitcom and its structure reminds me a lot of the ones I watched when I was younger: The Big bang theory, Mom, Modern family, How I met your mother, Friends and so on, there was a dedicated timeslot for them after lunch until around 4 pm my mom watched them while going about her day laughing while not paying that much attention and I remember when I needed a book or I wanted something to eat I would go in the living room to greet her and I would have a look at the tv and before I knew I had been glued to it for the last hour, it didn’t matter which episode it was or how much I knew about characters or the plot (or the quality of the jokes) it was entertaining it was fun, I didn’t really care about what was happening or how it impacted the overall lore of the show and that’s what Shadows does, you can show a new viewer any episode and you won’t need to explain an hour of lore for them to even begin to get what’s going on; yes for a fan of the show Guillermo yelling back at Nandor in 4x6 displays a tremendous character/relationship growth (in season 1 he couldn’t even talk) but for a casual viewer it’s 2 men yelling about dodo birds...IT’S JUST FUNNY, fans and more devoted viewers get rewarded for sticking with the show with callbacks and a masterful character writing that doesn’t remove the characters’ edges or complexities but it doesn’t gatekeep new people from just sitting back and laughing along at the absurdity of, for example, a vampire who is pretty much a burnt torso trying out clothes for a wedding.

Viewers now have expectations of what media is and should be, with the popularity of binge watching and entire seasons being dropped on streaming sites in one day shows like What we do in the shadows have lost their format, shows are supposed to have season long arcs that impact every character’s decision, you’re supposed to have an essay long on every character’s motivation and goals and if you try to watch an episode of a new season you’ll be completely lost, as a watcher you’re required to engage with it to keep up with what everyone you know is talking about and if the show isn’t astronomically popular it gets cancelled because not enough people have watched in the first 2 weeks it was out, Shadows doesn’t reward you for binging it I would say quite the opposite, it often reintroduces concepts: Nandor explaining that he’s getting married...yes we know it’s your plotline, Nadja having a nightclub...yes you were talking about it an episode ago, all the characters calling Colin “the small creature that crawled its way out of the dead body of Colin Robinson” is a funny gag but also a clever way to explain what the fuck is that abomination, every character having a title card for who they are multiple time in an episode is to remind us who they are (Guillermo in particular because of how much his role in the house changes).

Like with Our flag means death and people commenting on how the first 3 episodes don’t have that much plot (a situational half hour comedy) and how people (me too) kept their buttcheecks clenched to see if Ed and Stede were gonna be canon...in the second half...of the FIRST season and how people had to FIGHT for season 2. 

We don’t have time anymore, we want now and a lot and fast, we don’t want to sit around for a couple hours for mindless fun because we can’t afford it instead of watching a sitcom we could have used that time to: clean the house, take care of our skincare, work or study, produce something just doing something, instead of doing nothing (the worst thing that can happen).

And it’s reflected by our media and the shows themselves: the characters need to be involved into something they can’t just laze about that’s just wasting time, shows are a lot shorter in number of episodes (filler isn’t allowed anymore) and seasons (a show getting to season 6 is almost unthinkable whereas 7 seasons was a regular occurrence in the 2000′s and 2010′s) and how we consume it, we have to work for it if we want more, it’s not just watching it’s working for that product if we don’t work enough it’s gonna be cancelled beacuse we failed it and we didn’t work hard enough to produce more product that we already PAY for.

[whatthefuckisasweep]

season 4 spoilers for wwdits but i really love the direction the writers are going for nandor and guillermo, and I can kinda see their thought process maybe (knowing we have 2 seasons coming up)… AN ESSAY

Firstly, I dont think nandor and guillermo are gonna end up together at the end of this season. i think guillermo is going to be genuinely happy with freddie in some capacity! and he kind of needs it!

in terms of character guillermo starts out timid, in a clear power dynamic, with very little self respect. hes subservient and softspoken, and weve seen him become more unhinged, which is amazing. he complains a lot more. and theres still this level of subservience, but only at his own benefit. he doesnt fucking care abt their feelings anymore because they never cared abt his. finally, we see guillermo being selfish loudly. and what does that get him? during this season, he has so far seen 3 people after his affections. the guide. nandor, as his best man. and freddie, his boyfriend. also his family, if you want to count that. guillermo needs, as a character, to feel wanted, because he has never felt that way. now that hes wanted more than ever, he’s probably gonna overdo it and its gotta come crashing down so it can level out. i love how hes already BICKERING with nandor and nandor’s TAKING it.

in other words, he’s gotta gain a little respect and get drunk on it, then learn how to stabilize in the middle… with maybe some help. Only then can he balance love, family, and himself: when he understands what hes worth, and that he doesnt need constant validation to know someone cares. I think that also boils back to his desire to be a vampire, to be someone else, to be cool and wanted. i think he is slowly realizing and learning he doesnt want to be anybody else by guillermo de la cruz, human vampire slayer. thats his arc. The next two seasons might deal with him going too far with this ‘new’ guillermo, and then realizing too late that hes hurt people he cares about, and the guillermo de la cruz he really is would help his found family. I predict that the Nandor and Guillermo dolls he made might remind him. :)) I dont really got a clue what happens to freddie. havent seen enough of him to gauge if he might stick around… if guillermo genuinely got over nandor i think thats honestly great for his char! but might change at any moment considering the show has 2 seasons more at least!!

nandor on the other hand… ough. his search for love is honestly so perfect, and i love how they are setting it up with the djinn and marwa and guillermo. nandor being nice to guillermo is amazing. hes starting to give guillermo respect and not even laughing along with the others as much. this already is huge char development. but like, really think about it: laszlo & nadja… now Guillermo and Freddie. Nandor is gonna feel like everyone has someone but him more than usual. Hes gonna wonder why he doesnt feel the same way everyone else feels even with a wife. it makes life even more meaningless. I mean, first guillermo abandons him, he cant be human, now he cant even be happy with a wife? So whats wrong with him? What does he need? Hes gonna wish everything he could ever want into existence… but still feel like a shell. Being nandor, he exhausts all options before facing the truth… and It forces Nandor to understand hes under appreciating things in life that make it better or meaningful (guillermo lol). Thats his arc. And not only that, but hes beginning to show more emotions. I feel like as the season goes on, he might reveal that hes really hurt by guillermo “leaving”. i think it might end with him realizing he has messed up with their relationship and that he might… have feelings for him that hes repressing. (maybe therapist laszlo helps?) he might see/hear some of guillermo’s personal and home life and realize he knows nothing abt him and feel… regret? And i think its needed to get him to find that life has meaning: to make others you love happy, is to make yourself happy.

The wedding might be his wedding — but if its Guillermo and Freddie, he might realize he feels… jealous. He might realize also that he has to let it happen for Guillermo to be happy, and FINALLY, FINALLY THEN, we can see Nandor doing something COMPLETELY SELFLESS for someone else. To a MAJOR disadvantage for him. Thats what his character NEEDS. Maybe that wont happen, but I sense thats what they are coming to: that hes gotta be selfless. Might have something to do with the djinn and guillermo too?

That means i kind of predict that s5 will be sort of nandor’s pining while guillermo kinda goes off on his own and becomes kind of a real asshole. its a role reversal situation. might go too far and then s6 is kind of this recovery where they both realize they dont wanna be anyone else but themselves together, and retain the best traits of both assholiness and sweetness. Together. Possibly in a relationship. Possibly not? But honestly as long as they go through these beats as characters and grow, Im gonna be happy. Especially for Guillermo if he sticks with freddie, because getting OVER nandor is actually such a powerful statement for his char tbh.

ALSO GONNA THROW IN ANOTHER RANDOM PREDICTION: big blow out fight between them <3

Thats all. Super long but THOUGHTS ALL STORED IN BRAIN AND NEED TO GET THEM OUT. I might be so fucking wrong but-

[penironi]

sorry guys im gay vampire posting again but hear me out

what if nandermo’s happy ending is in both of them choosing mortality and growing old together?? 

consider this; guillermo’s plan throughout the entire series is to become a vampire, its showed that he had a fixation on vampires since child hood, plus being nandors familiar for 15 years (and leaving him multiple times for anyone who promises to turn him faster), then as a last ditch effort going to someone he knows will do it (derek). he is so dedicated to this that even despite finding out he is genetically a vampire hunter, knowing his family hates vampires and he might not be able to see them again if he turns (which we know is gonna be hard for him considering he seems to be relatevely close with them at least enough to put together a dinner party and to give them money the second he gets some) so if guillermo comes back to the house as a vamp nandor- who had been kinda been keeping guillermo there by hanging the prospect of becoming a vampire over him like a cat- is going to freak the fuck out for 2 reasons:

1. he wanted to be the one to turn guillermo, on his home soil (though he will probably never admit it again)

2. guillermo doesnt need anything from him anymore

im sure theres also a few other things that the vamps would have an issue with like “who the FUCK turned him" and “vampires never turn familiars especially ones that arent their own” (since it seems like familiar poaching and taking familiars from their masters for consumption or otherwise is pretty taboo) but i think that derek being the one to do it makes both of those kinda obsolete (it also seems like the vamps are a lot less dedicated to vampire culture rules after their whole council arc and killing vampires thing in s3). but whats probably gonna throw nandor for a loop is that guillermo is gonna come back. we all know he will weather its to pick up his things or say goodbye or decide he wants to stick around after all at some point he will and nandor will open the door and have the most horrified look when he finds out. nandor has been on the pursuit of love and happiness for as long as we’ve seen him. hes tired of immortal life and misses the thrill of living. you see this with the human camp thing, with trying to find a wife and deciding that was too hard to he used jinn magic to resurect his old wives but then that wasn’t good enough so he enchanted the shit out of his chosen zombie wife to make her a shell of her former self and then seeing how happy guillermo and freddie are decides to turn marwa into a clone of freddie? this man is desprate. its clear that nandor doesn’t enjoy the vampire lifestyle anymore, its boring sitting in the house all day and hunting at night, enter guilliermo- van halen vampire hunter, beat the shit out of you in a fight multiple times, never know if hes gonna be there the next day, de la cruz. guilliermo makes immortality exciting to nandor, but now that guillermo has no use for nandor anymore he probably will leave right? do everything he wants to now that he’s a vampire. nandor is freaking the fuck out and has (1) jinn wish left... 

so every time this show has a path that i think “yeah that makes sense” the vampires tend to to the complete opposite path. nandor has a lack of understanding for other’s feelings but in recent seasons its gotten better, however it would still make perfect sense that nandor would use this wish incredibly selfishly- but hes gonna fuck up. It would make absolute sense for mr. the relentless to try and wish guillermo a human again so he could have him as a familiar and turn him the way he wanted to turn him but maybe hes going to wish for something a little less specific, maybe “i wish guillermo would stay and not leave” or something like that because this is the happiest hes seen guillermo! hes thriving as a vamp and its all hes wanted for as long as they’ve known eachother. Heres the thing, I think that the spell is going to make nandor a human- a human in need of a familiar. 

hijinks ensue: guillermo (who actually had no idea what to do now that he is a vampire, the whole dedicating your life to getting something and now that you have it what is there to do?) decides to take nandor as a familliar and effectively switches roles with him (i think collin is indifferent, lazlo is amused, and nadja is just confused- plus vampire rules they dont wanna turn him since he’s TECHNICALLY a familliar + its really fucking funny). he promises to make nandor a vampire again and he fully intends on it- but hes gonna have some revenge labor first. something happens and guillermo has to save nandor AGAIN from something or other (maybe nandor, sick of guillermo treating him the way he treated guillermo, decides to reverse uno on him and leaves, maybe he goes out to find a vamp who remembers and will turn him but gets himself into trouble with some creatures who probably want to eat him)- and i think this might be where they realize they kinda need eachother. guillermo asks nandor if he wants to be turned back, and nandor really thinks about it. on one hand he misses being powerful as a vampire, having the strength and skill to defeat anyone and his coffin and such- but he also tried a cheezeburger for the first time! he ran from monsters, cooked and cleaned, felt his heart beat and his brow sweat and he felt alive! on the other hand, guillermo is realizing that being a vampire isnt all that he thought it would be. he misses food and the sun more than he thought he would, he misses his family who would try to kill him the first time he saw them. he thought he would see the world or find a community but the thing thats made him the happiest is showing nandor how to be a human. nandor refuses, or at least asks to wait a bit longer so he can try more things as a human- and guillermo agrees, promising to wait eternity for him. 

sorry for the brain vomit hope this makes sense to somebody

[arielmagicesi]

ok fine whatever things I’m being normal about in the wwdits s4 trailer. under a readmore for anyone who wants to wait to watch the season when it comes out:

-Laszlo and Nadja going to have sex in the dilapidated house immediately after Nandor just drowned or whatever

(also I want to see Laszlo and Nadja reconcile and have a whole thing but you know what, I’ve made a point of saying that I want the show to do its own thing and not be fanservice-y, so it’s fine if they skip that)

-THE WIVES THE WIVES I want to see Nandor’s wives! Literally I heard that one of his wives is going to stick around for the whole season, and if that’s true I will be so happy. only one more woman to go before the main cast is actually gender equaled and I can stop apologizing to imaginary commenters in the YouTube thread of my mind for being a misogynist

-why is the genie like a businessman. I love it

-ik Guillermo is describing Laszlo and Nadja’s marriage as “polyamorous” to Sean because he’s the only one who knows modern words, but I’m choosing to interpret it as him being part of the polycule (why is Nandor holding hands with Nadja in that part, hmm? the whole house is a polycule. besides the baby I guess)

-also Seanie being just, in the house chatting with them lmao. although where the FUCK is charmaine

-why were Nandor and Guillermo swordfighting. is this gonna be a regular thing now, them fighting. I support it

-Nadja’s rapping I love her. she did a great job. Also I’ve become excited to see her nightclub, fuck it, girlboss of all time

-the Guide tormenting Guillermo aaaaahhhhhh I love Kristen Schaal

-uhh the whole thing. the whole thing is very good

-wait also Nandor’s search for a wife is so funny. him using the gross pond as a hot tub for him and his date who hates it? amazing

Anyway yeah OK I think I got that out of my system. I’m fine I’m fine I’m OK

edit: lest we forget, baby Colin Robinson. fuck you if you don’t like him. he’s an icon. I love that Laszlo is trying to make him interesting. that’s hilarious. them fencing in the park is amazing. him (I assume that’s him) waking up Nandor to annoy him by wearing his armor. amazing. I can’t wait

[gummybearzgocrazyagain]

might have fucked around and transcribed like half of katya and trixie’s podcast harvey went on a few months ago, and there were some straight up gems; go off king 💅

harvey on his joining the cast and meeting kayvan for the first time:

“i just remembered i’ve never had a chemistry [read] with kayvan, it was sunday i got the call [...] and wednesday i was on set, we were starting to shoot the pilot, and i’ve never had a chemistry [read] with kayvan. and i met him and was like “please make this work”, and i just met him, and we just talked, and i was like “omg”, i was like he’s such a wonderful comedian, actor, such a giving actor, that i was like, this could have gone easily, you know, the other way”

harvey on the s03 finale fight sequence:

“if you would have told me in the first week of filming that guillermo at one point would be kicking ass [...] and like be trying to attack nandor... because it’s emotion, he turned by an emotion, he is frustrated. what is that kind of love that he has with him? we don’t know. is it romantic? it’s yet to be shown, but there’s definitely... you know sometimes, you love someone so much, and it could be a friendship and you’re just trying to shake that nonsense out of them”

*me, freaking out all over the place - so it is to be shown, harvey, huh, IT IS TO BE SHOWNNNNNNNNNNNNN [with Holt’s “vindicationnnnnn” intone]*

trixie and katya on vamps’ haplessness:

“they’re like ancient babies“

dish about kayvan:

trixie and katya: “who’s the actor who plays nandor, what is his name?“

harvey: “kayvan” 

trixie and katya: [...] “he is so hot, i find him so fucking attractive, i... oh my god”

harvey: “he’s like honey to bees, every woman that passes by is like [...] and the worst part is he is so charming and nice, you almost wish that someone who was funny and [...] good looking be an asshole, but he is not, he’s literally the [...] nicest person ever, and you’re just like “yup [...] you’re a good guy, like, you’re a nice guy, and amazing, funny” like he’s like... i couldn’t ask for a better [...] scene partner, he’s [...] the best”

on whether guillermo would become a vampire, and what harvey wants for him:

harvey: “well i should say what i want for guillermo, is for him to be happy. i think he is finding it, i think he is going through a little bit of a crisis in the end of S3, when he like confronts nandor, and we also don’t know what that relationship is, we’re like, is he sticking around cause he wants to be a vampire, or is he sticking around because they need him, and he wants to be needed? [...] sometimes it’s good to be wanted, you know. and i feel like... i want him to get what he wants, and it might take a second, but overall i want him to be happy“

katya: [...] my interpretation is that guillermo is in love with nandor, it’s a co-dependent, unrequited [...], a little toxic relationship

harvey: yeah

katya: but it’s so sweet and lovely [...] and the fuel that drives it is the yearning, and not getting satisfied 

harvey: yeah, absolutely!

on the comeback of “creepy paper”:

harvey: “that wasn’t in the script!!” [...] “ it wasn’t in the script originally, and i threw it in, i didn’t think they were gonna use it!”

*he really be having to do everything himself around that house, huh*

harvey on who breaks the most on set:

“i would say most of my scenes recently or in the first three seasons were with kayvan, and so i would say kayvan breaks the most, because he is so fucking funny, but he always makes fun of me, because i am such a... you know, guillermo is grounded, and you know, not over the top. [...] and so i’m always really grounded, and its so hard to stay grounded in guillermo character all the time, and then here’s kayvan making a joke, and he laughs at his own joke, i’m like “stop”, and he’s just like “okay, i won’t do it, i won’t do it” and then he “ahhhaaaaaaa”, and he like breaks character, and just like laughs at his own joke, and i’m like... [...] we just had the take the other night [...] and like kayvan got the giggles, and just couldn’t stop laughing, and i was like “stop!“, cause then i start doing it too, and once i get going, it’s just tears down my eyes, and like i can’t stop. so it’s hard just to keep grounded as gullermo, and then on top of that, trying not to laugh at how hilarious is kayvan

*me, extremely alert: what do you mean in the first three seasons, king, so in season 4 most of your scenes are NOT with kayvan 😨😨😨😨 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, i don’t want to possess this cursed info*

nb: all the redacted parts are mainly word “like” harvey seems to overuse, which has actually endeared him to me even further, not sure how that’s possible, having already adored the dude

p.s the way he pronounces kayvan’s name sometimes as “kay-von”, and sometimes as “kee-von” is also too endearing, and he needs to stop with the uncontrollable levels of adorableness, or else

[stuck-in-jelly]

I was thinking about my post about Guillermo realizing he doesn't want to be a vampire for the same reasons as before and decided to say fuck it and upload the small fanfic i wrote by accident

Im not gonna post it on ao3 or anything cause its not that long and I also suck at titles but enjoy!

Nadja's lip twitched into a tight frown, in front of her Guillermo was still fidgeting with his leather gloves, adjusting and readjusting the straps while avoiding looking at her.

She had no idea how despite everything the boy could still get meek, as if she hasn't witnessed him murder dozens of powerful vampires in a single instant or had him boss her around when the Sire escaped.

Nadja knew she was strong and if it really came down to it she'd be able to put up a fight with Guillermo but there was still a lingering fear inside of her that twisted her gut.

That night at the theatre he had seemed like a completely different person, his eyes had been clouded and his voice unwavering, as he stood still holding a bloody stake in front of them announcing his name.

At the time she thought he would kill them all while they were tied up, it was a surprised when he had calmly came over and untied them without a single reaction or word.

But in this moment he's back to shuffling uncomfortably in his seat from across her. When she awoke from her coffin she still had the lingering joy from Laszlo's declaration of love but when she heard Guillermo's voice inside her husband's coffin dread filled her.

Honestly he is lucky she didn't rip his throat out before he could explain what happened.

A part of her wondered if he was even telling the truth about Laszlo locking him in there but her smarter self reasoned that if he wanted to kill her she probably would be dead now.

'Still wouldnt hurt to be cautious' she thought while stroking her doll's head.

"May I ask you something Guillermo?" she questioned carefully, hoping to at least make conversation out of this awkward situation.

"Oh-me? I mean um sure go ahead. If you wanted to know about how we could get around here i can pull up some directions-"

"Stop with your rambling. It's only cute so many times." the doll as usual made a snarky remark, Nadja quickly hushed her as they were still in a semi-public area.

Guillermo's shoulders tensed and he muttered out a quick apology, she felt another annoyed twitch of her lips.

"What I wanted to ask was; why are you so keen on becoming a vampire? Do not get me wrong its great and all but it does not seem like you would gain much from it."

Guillermo made a silly face of disbelief and confusion reeling his head back and scoffing.

"W-why I want to be a Vampire? Why wouldn't I want to be a vampire? I mean you get like super strength, you can fly, you can hypnotize people, you have super speed, and can transform you can do so much! Y-You're just so powerful"

"But why do you want that power? What do you even want to do with it?"

Guillermo glanced around for a moment a small flush came to his face.

"Do you really want to know?"

Nadja gave a small nod and gestured with her hand to contuine. Guillermo sighed and crosses his arms leaning foward, onto the table.

She was already regretting asking.

"Growing up I was never really able to stand up for myself you know? It was hard growing up in a place that I felt I didn't belong in then getting bullied for it too. And it wasn't the teasing kind of bullying it was the tripping me down the bleachers during a football game and throwing popcorn at me kind of bully"

A small pang of guilt hit Nadja as a memory from her childhood surfaced, sometimes the other children would pull at her long hair and stick twigs and mud in it making it harder to clean it during baths.

It frustrated her mother but she never wanted to tell her the truth in fear she'd give her another thing to worry about.

Looking back she should have shoved those brats in some donkey shit.

Guillermo contuined,

"And as messed up as it sounds i use to just daydream about getting revenge, being able to turn around and punch them or even really hurt them. But if I ever tried to even tell them to stop I usually just ended up tied together with Jeremy."

Nadja cringed at the mention of the name but did her best to let Guillermo contuine, the boy sure did know how to talk and talk and not get to the point.

"I felt really hopeless my whole life, like I would never be able to protect myself or the people that I love or that I would never feel confident in my own skin and of who I am. But when I watched movies and shows about Vampires there was just such a air of power and class to them that I couldn't resist so once I found out you guys are real well of course I'd want to join."

At last Guillermo took a breath and sighed wistfully.

"I just want to be strong."

Nadja thought for a moment but before she could speak a voice came from her laps once more.

"But aren't you already?"

Guillermo froze for a moment his smile dropping almost automatically as his attention went to Doll Nadja.

"Excuse me?"

"Arent you already strong? Even without powers you strike enough fear into our dead hearts" the doll chuckled.

Nadja shifted her weight so she could lean the doll into her arms more comfortably.

"My darling has a point Guillermo. You have proven enough times that you're more than capable. Is there really any reason for you to be a vampire now? And do not tell me its about being 'confident', I have never before seen you more sure of yourself."

She would spare him but she does remember gagging with The Guide back when Guillermo first saw Nandor's Council attire, the way gently rub the cape between his fingers and slyly looked at him while whispering.

It was enough to make her want to gag again.

"I- um well I just-" his mouth opened then closed again. There was silence for a moment.

Nadja could hears Guillermo's heart change pace, he knew she was right but there was still conflict in his eyes.

"I'm not sure." He finally finished looking defeated.

Nadja had a feeling she knew. She wasnt dense, she knew Nandor and Guillermo had some sort of thing going on.

It was honestly embarrassing at times, Nandor would go on rambles about Guillermo and lament about him while Guillermo would just hover about Nandor fretting over him.

When Nandor had came in to announce to her and her husband the news that he and Guillermo would be traveling together they couldn't give less of a fuck.

But she will admit there was a happiness Nadja hasnt seen in a few decades from him not to mention that there was a huge significance in him wanting taking Guillermo to his home land specifically to turn him.

Nadja stared at Guillermo a bit longer before finally speaking up.

"Do pull up those directions, I would like to at least speak to the Council before I kill my dear husband"

Guillermo quickly took up the task without another word.

This was something the two idiots would need to sort out between themselves.

[allie1804-fan]

The Middle of the Road (Chapter 17)

Warnings: Some explicit context

Chapter 1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8 , 9, 10, 11 , 12,  13  14 , 15 ,  16

Feb 2026

“Wakey, wakey rise and shine my lady”

“mmmmm what?

Emily stirred as Keanu set a tray down on the dressing table.

“Breakfast time – I think you need a nourishing start for this big day don’t you?”

“Oh my god!” she groaned as she remembered, in her drowsy state, what day it was. It was the Oscars Ceremony that night and her screenplay for a film made the year before had been nominated for Best Original Screenplay.  The whole situation was surreal and she’d be doing the whole ‘get ready and promotion’ hoopla for the first time as the main player of the family as opposed to the wife of the main event. Keanu was loving it, teasing her relentlessly during the prior few weeks when she went to do press and he was left home with the kids, who were now 4 ½ and 3 ½ .  They were at one and the same time a handful and a delight.  

It was a Sunday and right now, they were currently watching TV downstairs and Maria, still their nanny on a part time basis, was watching them.  She was here for the day so the two of them could attend the ceremony and it was a treat to have time to enjoy breakfast alone when usually at least one of them would be up at 7 and they’d all be up eating pancakes by 8. Typically there were no lazy Sundays as they would usually go out after breakfast to have some outdoors time, get the kids enjoying fresh air and expending some of their boundless energy.

Keanu and Emily tucked into granola with super cold milk (he always insisted on that!) and then some coffee and a pain au chocolat before snuggling back under the covers.

“Thanks so much for that -  a luxury start to a big day but I should go down and see the kids”

“oh no you don’t, not yet. Maria is in full control and I want to keep you to myself a bit longer!”

“Oh yeah what do have in mind mister?”

“I might just want to make love to my Oscar nominated wife one more time before she becomes my Oscar winning wife”

“Oh come on, I’m not gonna win, I’m up against Mike Leigh and Guillermo del Torro for god’s sake”

“Doesn’t matter who they are, it’s what you wrote that will win it for you”

“Ahh well thanks for the vote of confidence but I’m just amazed to be nominated even - so what will be will be ……………..anyway, about that love making………” she purred, rubbing his cock with the palm of her hand through the lounge pants he had worn to go downstairs”

He responded with a low moan and pulled her to him for a kiss “mmmmm you still taste all chocolatey, got anything else sweet for me?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, sliding down under the covers, rubbing her breasts through her nightshirt and sliding it up as he went, exposing her stomach as he did. She laid her head back on the pillow as she felt his lips on her belly then his warm hands wiggle their way underneath her to grasp her ass. He teased her for a few moments, kissing the tops of her thighs then just blowing softly over her mound making her cry out in need of him. Finally, he obliged, sticking out his tongue and probing up inside her.

“so ruby red and sweet as nectar” he muttered before engulfing her pussy  with his mouth and starting a pattern of steady circling and sucking of the hood of her clit, flicking the nub itself  then licking the lips and probing up inside her vagina. He was patience personified, taking it slow and letting her get close then easing down momentarily – he loved the build up.

She had started to claw at the sheets as she neared orgasm when he suddenly stopped and knelt up in front of her making her gasp in her unfulfilled need. He looked at her mischievously as she lay, pink colour spreading across her chest and cheeks then put two of his long fingers in his mouth to wet them before smiling and laying down again.

She cried out as she felt those two fingers slide inside her and his mouth latch onto his target once more. He groaned as he felt the juices increasing as he pumped slowly in and out, gradually curling his fingers up to press into her g spot. Her hips pressed up rhythmically towards his waiting mouth and one hand grasped his head and held him to his task. Feeling her clitoris reach peak hardness, he pumped faster and harder with his fingers and she let out a load squeal at the intense release followed by a long low moan. Keanu’s ministrations turned gentle as he eased her down before he sat up, a broad grin on his wet face which she hardly registered as she lay recovering.

He wasn’t about to let her have too long to recover though , so great was his need by this point and she soon found herself pulled towards him, her butt pressing against his thighs while he played with her breasts with one hand and grasped his thick shaft with the other.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t wait to have you” he muttered, laying down against her and nibbling on her neck as his cock made its presence felt between her legs. Despite his pressing need, he took it gently. Her pussy was still tight and contracting after her orgasm so he pushed in inch by inch to allow her to relax and take him.

“One last piece of loving mrs nominee” he grunted out, pushing his whole length inside at last, making her quiver against him. “You OK?”

“God yes, just take me now”

Her words inflamed him and he lifted up on extended arms, pulling almost all the way out before each thrust filled and thrilled her. Just as he had with her first orgasm, he knew how to orchestrate this performance too, pumping slow and steady at first, beginning to angle his cock to rub her g spot, then waiting, waiting to feel the gentle fluttering in her vagina that signalled she was on the verge of coming. Only then did he pump faster and harder, thrilling to the sensations of her hands clawing at his back, her pussy pulsing around him, her cries growing louder and his own orgasm crashing his senses, blinding him in a wave of pleasure.

Afterwards, he laid down against her, resting on his elbows and kissing her neck as she stroked his back for a while. Eventually he rolled off her and they lay quietly together, with only the sound of the air conditioning  in the background.

“Are we getting better at that?” he asked jokingly.

“mmm you are!” she grinned – I just lay back and enjoyed!”

“naah takes two to tango!”

“Well all I know is, if I don’t win anything tonight, I’ve still won the best prize being married to you”

“Are you saying you just want me for the sex?!”

“Precisely” she laughed, grabbing his butt “you’re just my own personal himbo”

They lay giggling and snuggling a little while longer then got up to spend time with the kids before they had to head downtown. They would be dressed by a stylist at a hotel and Emily had some pre red carpet interviews to do alongside the cast and director of the movie of her screenplay. Keanu himself was due to present  - fortunately not for her award and he would be done and back sitting beside her when it came time for her award to be announced.

The crowds lining the red carpet were noisy and enthusiastic and Keanu took pride of place next to Emily when Ryan Seacrest invited them up to say a few words.

“and how do you feel about playing second fiddle to your wife today Keanu?”

Emily blushed and he launched into their favourite awards day saying:

“Well, it makes a refreshing change to let her step into the limelight that I’ve been hogging since we met and of course I’m proud, happy and thrilled that she got nominated for her amazing writing. It’s thoroughly well deserved”

“and did you draw on your personal life to inform the characters?” Ryan asked with a cheeky grin. The screenplay was about a man who enticed a high class escort to fall in love with then carry out a murder for him!

Emily laughed along with both Ryan and Keanu who was covering his mouth with his hand as usual.

“Definitely not – I have a very vivid imagination. And nothing could be further from our lives right now with a 3 and a 4 year old running us ragged most of the time!”

“and will they be at home watching right now?”

“Maybe” Keanu said “but they don’t find mom and dad in fancy clothes that interesting so they’re  more likely to be out in the garden playing if I had to guess!”

“Well give them a wave just in case and good luck tonight Emily and good luck with the presenting gig Keanu”

“They each waved at the camera and moved on letting the next guest take their place with Ryan.

They headed to the large reception area, meeting with friends and colleagues along the way to chat and exchange ‘good lucks’. The pre-amble always took ages, Keanu had warned her and Emily’s feet were aching by the time they finally sat down for the prestigious ceremony to begin.

Keanu pointed out the camera positions to her and they joked about the gracious face she’d need to adopt in the event of losing. Several awards came and went before he had to leave to present the Best Supporting Actor award. Emily was sure the cameras swung onto her as he presented though she couldn’t be sure. That was OK by her - she knew she simply had a proud expression all over her face. She was definitely more worried about the moment coming up when they would definitely zoom in on her. Keanu made his way back to her after a couple more awards which left just one more to come before her moment in the spotlight.

The nominees were announced and Keanu squeezed her hand as her name was announced, knowing how nervous and exposed she felt. They played clips from each nominated film after that which gave her a few minutes to gather herself for the big reveal.

The presenters were George Clooney and Emily Blunt who’d co-starred in a film the previous year which was also up for an award. Keanu had teased that Emily only wanted to win because George would kiss her cheek if she did. She had been a fan of his ever since ER in the 90s!

As Emily was opening the envelope, she held Keanu’s hand in a tight grip.

“… and the winner is ……… Emily Reeves”

Keanu leapt up cheering and grabbed her hand to make her stand. He hugged her close and whispered in her ear.

“Now go get your kiss from George! You did it, you’re amazing!”

She kissed him back, simply stunned to have won and rooted to the spot for a moment

“go go” he laughed and she finally let go of his hand to make her way to the stage.

Fear gripped her as she kissed the cheeks of both Emily and George before taking the award from George with shaking hands. “imagine everyone naked” she reminded herself as she stood behind the podium and looked at the sea of faces.

“I’ll keep it short” she said “I know that’s an unusual promise from a writer but I think I can safely say, my husband is more cut out for this limelight business! So thank you Academy for this great honour thank you to the team who brought my screenplay to life in such an amazing, entertaining way and thanks of course to Keanu for making it possible for me to find time amidst raising our young family, to write again. There was a time when I thought I would never come up for air from breast-feeding and diapers but together we’ve made it work, he’s been my biggest cheerleader in this process even though he knew I’d get to kiss my hero ‘Doug Ross’ if I won!”

The audience laughed and the camera swung to Keanu chuckling behind his hand as she said this and then to George laughing too.

She rounded off her speech quickly after that.

“So thank you again Academy for this great honour and for making the dream of teenaged me come true in every way”

A couple of hours later, they arrived at the Governor’s ball where Emily would get her award engraved with her name and they could at last have something to eat. They managed to find a space to sit and be together and let others just come to them rather than endlessly circulating. It was a moment for them to enjoy and share in particular. They hadn’t really been able to talk since the award itself.

“Thank you for my honourable mention” he said kissing her cheek.

“Well you deserve nothing less. I couldn’t have got my mojo back without the space to write that you made happen”

“No we made it happen, just like we made those beautiful babies back home and we made sweet love this morning and we make our day to day life as happy as it can be amidst the madness of toddlers!”

She stroked his cheek and looked adoringly into his eyes.

“Yeah we make a good team huh?”

“Yup – and will you stay with me still, even after kissing ‘Doug Ross?”

“weeeell” she started, making out that it was a tough decision – he laughed and punched her lightly on the arm.

“Well OK then Keanu, I’ll stay with you, if you insist!”

“I do, indeed I do” he replied, pulling her into a kiss that sealed the deal.

The End

@penwieldingdreamer @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @ladyreapermc @witty-wallflower @gatsbynouvel @bitchyslut99 @keanureevesisbae @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @kindainlovewithkeanu @paperplanesandwallflowers

[jamesellistheartof]

CHAPTER FIVE HEROES 6/ 4/ 16 Sun’s shining through the French doors. I’m sitting here, writing, listening to a late 1960’s Neil Young live show and thinking about all the different artists and writers who’ve inspired me down through the years. I suppose you could call them my heroes. We all have them, those people who inspire us to reach further than our lives, whether they’re famous or not. People we respect and admire, either in how they approach life or how they approach their art. Sometimes its both. When it comes to how I approach my writing I always find myself drawn to the kind of artist who doesn’t like repeating themselves, those pioneers who follow the muse instead of the money. I respond to artists who try something different each time, who aren’t afraid to take risks, who don’t worry about failing or falling. Once you’ve accidentally stumbled upon a successful formula it follows that you stick to it, but those giants I admire don’t do that. They’re not content to do that, because once they’ve figured out to do something, and do it well, they don’t do it again, because the challenge is gone. I believe, like them, that your best work comes from challenging yourself. It’s certainly not commercially sound, because it can be difficult to pin you down creatively, but when it comes to doing work of substance, work that lasts, I think it’s the only way to go. I guess they’re my heroes because they’re like minded. They see things the way I see them and they’re not afraid to go to the places I like to go. They’re always searching for a new challenge, a different way of doing things. They follow their own course in life and they take their own counsel in the decisions they make. It’s a good way to live your life, creatively or otherwise. I admire them for that, for their willingness to stand out from the crowd, to go off along their own path. I’ve always looked up to people like that, creative or not, since I was very young. They never try to fit in, they never want to fit in, they never try to part of a particular crowd or tow the line. I get that. I admire that. Life’s too short. First up among these heroes of mine is Neil Young, the Mighty Canadian. An artist who’s always followed his muse and not given a fuck what other people think. He’s absolutely refused to be pigeon holed in over fifty years of making music. That’s some feat and to be applauded. He’s made many albums I’ve loved and deeply admired, but he’s also made a few I still can’t bring myself to like or listen to all that much, but I still respect him for making them. Not everything you do creatively is gonna pay off, but you’ve still got to try. I believe it’s always better to take a risk, follow your instincts because more often or not you’ll be surprised at what comes sailing from those particular seas. Oddly enough, another Neil also sits at the top of my heroes list and for pretty much the same reasons. Neil Gaiman. I came to his work pretty late, about five years ago now. If you know anything about Neil’s work it’s that each new project is usually vastly different from the last, whether in tone or style or language. He tries something different each time, simply because it’s what he likes to do and it challenges him. And also, because he’s witnessed first hand what creative stagnation can do to a writer from his early years as a jobbing journalist. I feel like I owe Neil a hell of a lot. I’d always felt kind of constrained in my writing until I realised what he’d been doing throughout his career. I didn’t want to just write prose. I wanted to try my hand at everything. Comics, children’s books, picture books, theatre plays, film scripts, the whole spectrum. But I thought writers didn’t do that. I was already doing it, had been for a while, but I thought you had to pick one eventually and then go public with that. Be known for just one thing. I didn’t know there was another way. Then I discovered Neil. Now I write whatever feels right to me, whatever I want to write and now I don’t worry when I do, and in a huge way that’s because of Neil. I’ve never met him, but I owe him a hell of a lot. He showed me the way. If it wasn’t for ‘The Sandman’ then ‘Modern Days’ certainly wouldn’t exist. Bob Dylan is pretty high on my list too. Another pioneer, another game changer. He changed the whole way albums were done up to that point with ‘The Free Wheelin’ Bob Dylan’ and then he did it again with music itself when he made ‘Like A Rolling Stone.’ To a lot of people he ‘just went electric’ but for me and a lot of others it’s more pure than that, more fundamental. He was searching for something and he went looking for it, no matter where it took him or the reaction it got. That kind of thinking is always very appealing to me. He trusted his instinct. He went with his gut. That’s what was important to him. Changing music in the process was just an expected bonus. I learned from him that writing lyrics isn’t just about your feelings, about love and relationships. It’s about writing what you want to write about and not conforming to the conventional rules about the way things are usually done. Dylan didn’t care about that, nor do I. Bruce Springsteen falls upon similar ground for me. I admire the work ethic behind his music as much as I admire the man. He never gives up. He fights against his own struggles and adversity as much as he speaks for us facing them in our own lives and he meets mortality head on. There’s an honesty and sincerity to both his words and music that goes beyond something you can just pin down. You just know what he means and you know that he means it. It’s not bullshit. You know he means everything he sings and for me good art, good music, something that lasts, always has that sense of really meaning it. If something doesn’t achieve want he wants from it, if it doesn’t work thematically for him within what he’s aiming for then it usually doesn’t get released. It fascinates me how many classic songs never made it onto his albums for those reasons. He’s absolutely tireless in his devotion to perfectly getting that thing he hears in his head. He seems to approach songs like scenes or chapters of a book and if said scene or said chapter doesn’t work in the context of the whole it gets cut. It’s a way I like to work and I’ve gained a lot of inspiration from his approach. David Bowie looms pretty large on my list too. Bowie always seemed to me to be larger than life, but at the same time when you read or saw interviews with him he seemed so very down to earth as well. That contradiction always fascinated me. It still does. Who was he really? Like the other artists I’ve mentioned here he absolutely refused to be put in a neat little box or categorised in any way. He refused to stand still and always kept moving forward. He kept experimenting, kept pushing the boundaries of what he could do, right up until his last days. When I heard of his passing I was surprised by how personally I took it. It was like someone close to me had died. I guess I just thought he’d always be around. He was always part of my life and with ‘The Next Day’ and ‘Blackstar’ it felt like he was just getting started again. Maybe we just assume our heroes will live forever. I guess in a way they do. Another inspiration is a pretty recent one. I’ve been aware of Frank Turner for a number of years, heard the odd song, seen the odd video, even had his second album ‘Love, Ire & Song’ in my collection, but it wasn't until early 2016 that I properly investigated his back catalogue and his career so far, and when I did I found a fellow writer I really got. I admire his approach to his craft, his dedication, his vision, even his self doubt, and I especially like how he interacts with his fans. I feel a kinship, I see myself in him, his constant drive, born of his anxiety, born of that fear of not knowing whether he’ll get to do everything he wants to do before he dies. I guess I just get where he’s coming from. He’s in it for life. It is his life. For him it’s as real as anything else. He doesn’t compromise on what he sees in his head. He follows his own path. He’s candid, speaks his mind and tells us just how it is. All traits I admire. Patti Smith and Stephen King are also right up there in the higher echelons of those who inspire me. Not just because of the work they do but because of how they go about it. They truly understand the calling of what it is we do, they follow their own path despite the doubters and are uniquely gifted in their understanding of how we as humans tick. Patti’s ‘The M Train’ and King’s ‘On Writing’ were as pivotal to me writing this book as Neil Young’s ‘Waging Heavy Peace’ ‘Frank Turner’s ‘The Road Beneath My Feet’ and Springsteen’s ‘Born To Run.’ Pretty high on my list too is Guillermo Del Torro, who with ‘Cronos‘ ‘The Devil‘s Backbone‘ ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ and the ‘Hell Boy’ films has brought me some of favourite images ever put on screen. Not only that, but I admire him as a writer, as a creator of truly colourful characters and rich fantasy worlds and it saddens me that no one in Hollywood still hasn’t had the balls or vision to finance ‘Hellboy III.’ When I began writing ‘The Fairytale Thief’ I certainly had many of the images Del Torro has created over the years swimming through my mind. ‘The Secret Of The Woods’ owes him a pretty big debt as well. Also of special mention is Florence Welch, a brilliant enigma of an artist, and PJ Harvey, who never fails to both innovate and surprise. All of these, in one way of another, have had a fairly large and profound influence on me and my writing. Not just in their art, but how they approach that art, whatever it may be. How they’ve somehow kept true to their original aspirations and remained faithful to those intentions no matter what’s been thrown at them along the way. They inspire me for the simple fact that they stick to their guns, they stay true to what they believe in, which in this life can be trickier than it sounds. They remind me to keep at it, keep chipping away, keep true to myself and never give into those who will tell me to give it up. We all need heroes in our life. They are mine.

[fey-and-sudden-and-unholy]

Random Survey 1.

1. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days?

The new house did come with a yard, yes.  I don’t think the previous owners really knew what to do with it, though, as it’s pretty bare.  I’ve got plans for it, this spring, though!  We’re getting rid of the evergreen that had been planted right next to the garage, because that’s a dumb place to put a tree.  We have a huge side yard, so I want to plant a new one, there.  Maybe a cedar.  I dig cedars. I also want to plant lavender in the back yard, and maybe fox gloves, and put a smol gazebo-thing for a place to sit.  The roomies will have to clean it out a bit, though, as it’s currently full of their puppy’s poo, and I don’t fancy kneeling and digging around in it, when the time comes. 

2. Is there a group of friends that you used to hang out with but no longer do? Why don’t you hang out anymore and how do you feel about them now?

Sure, I’m sure everyone does.  There are friends I knew in school, who just faded away after I was no longer in school.  There were friends who proved toxic, who simply no longer exist to me.  There were friends who came with my husband and predictably (and thus painlessly) disappeared the moment he became my ex-husband.  A lot of people in life are temporary.  Most, in fact. 

3. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things?

I inherited about half my taste in music from my dad (classic rock, like the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, etc.), so we bond over that.  Any time I discover a video of someone doing something awesome with a guitar, I’ll share it with him, and he was really impressed with 2Cellos.  Things like that.  When I was a kid, I bonded with my mom over hiking. We used to go to state parks and pick a creek and follow it back into the wilderness for hours, come back wet to the knees and muddy and sometimes vaguely hypothermic.  (Fuck ur namby pamby trails, ok?  City Folk...)  We don’t really bond over anything any more, though.  She’s turned too toxic for me to do anything but keep her at a safe distance.

4. Did you ever say or ask something that you assumed was a neutral subject, but the person you were talking to became offended and you had no idea why?

... Honey, you know what site this is, right..?  

5. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating?

I waited with bated breath for both Only Lovers Left Alive and Crimson Peak.  I’m really fond of Tom Hiddleston, so when I heard he was gonna a.) star in a vampire movie with Tilda Fucking Swinton, and b.) do a Gothic Romance directed by Guillermo del Toro, I was completely ecstatic on both counts.  I always get a little “oh yay!” moment when I pick up on the actors/directors I like doing something new, but in those instances in particular I was glued to the screen for any news until they came out.

6. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you got the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis!

Oh dear lord...  So far as stories, there are so many, and I feel protective enough of the ones I’m actually working on to not wanna share a lot.  There’s an Epic Steampunk Fantasy I’ve been working on for like ten years (AKA The Goddamn Novel).  Since I’m giving that one a break until the ideas feel fresh again, I’m also working on one involving The Magic of Writing and a girl inheriting an outrageous fortune and being haunted by her awesome great great aunt, and there’s also faeries.  There’s about a thousand interconnected short stories I wanna do modernizing Changeling legends.  There’s a gothic fantasy about a pair of incestuous half-demon half-siblings who usurp their actually-worse father’s kingdom.  There’s... there’s just a lot I wanna do, ok?

If you want movie ideas, let me show you my book shelf, but god help you if you don’t respect the source material, okok.

7. Do you ever feel like anyone is “out of your league” or does that concept not make any sense to you? What do you do when you’re attracted to someone but find them out of your league?

I don’t think leagues exist.  I mean there are people who are Very Not Suited for one another, and sometimes it’s really obvious they’re not, but...   When I’m interested in someone, all I care about is whether the interest’s mutual.  If it is, then yay!  If it’s not, you lick your wounds and move on, or maybe you at least get a shiny new friend of out of it, which is pretty great, too.  You’ve just gotta talk to them and find out.

8. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)?

Instantly open... eeehhhhnnn *vague hand-wiggle*  I think I’ve got too many trust issues for that, really.  But similar tastes/interests/viewpoints is a big plus.  

9. Do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (Belieber, Little Monster, etc.)?

I’d classify myself as a phan. (Phantom of the Opera fan)  I don’t think any of my other fandoms actually have cutesy names.  Or, if they do I’m not involved enough with the social aspects of it to know.

10. Do you ever just get lazy and give up on your friendships?

When that’s possible, I think it probably shouldn’t actually be classified as a friendship.  Sounds more like an acquaintance, to me.  At which point, yeah.  

11. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you.

No.  There are people I admire, and consider sort of role models.  But, as twee as it sounds, the only person I’m ever working to outshine is past!me.

12. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)?

I am mostly happy single, but I miss having someone to cuddle with sometimes. So, little intimacies, I guess?  Romantic gestures just for their own sake, especially if the person has paid enough attention to their partner for it to be actually personal and not generic.  Or, people having intimate conversations, where they really obviously click and they’re just excited about each other.  I don’t feel jealous of people who get to do these things, but they do make me feel a little lonely.

13. What sort of situations make you feel most self-conscious or inadequate? Are there any people or places that just make you want to crawl into a hole? If you can’t think of anything specific, can you remember the last time (or any time) you felt this way?

Wasn’t our school system designed around creating instances like this...?

14. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site?

I like the one I have here.  It’s from a Dorothy Parker poem (one of the ones where she isn’t just trying to be flippant and clever, though I like those, too.)  Over on the only other site I really do much on, I go by sister_midnight, because David Bowie is one of those celebrities who I always kind of felt like was a beloved weird uncle I never actually got to meet. Also I like that song.

15. Are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations?

I don’t think I’d want to be in parts of Indy after dark.  But honestly there are plenty of rural places and smaller towns around here I’d say that about, too.

16. If you went to camp as a kid, was it a pleasant experience? Do you think that all kids should be able to go to camp? If you didn’t go to camp, do you feel like you kind of missed out on something?

I got hustled off to Bible Camp, once.  I mostly didn’t bother protesting because it was something to do away from home, and my step-mother never respected me not wanting to go to church, so church-camp was the same sort of thing. It was kind of an alien situation, seeing as I hadn’t actually been Christian for about five years, by that point, but I was also used to it.  Plus, sometimes it’s just interesting what you can learn by letting people think what they want and just standing back and... watching them go.  I learned way more about what they were really like by doing that than by reading the Bible, that’s for certain.

17. Do you grandparents ever judge you or stick their heads in your business? If not, is there someone else in your life you dread seeing because of their unwanted input?

I was half raised by my grandparents after my parents divorced and my Dad moved back home, with me in tow.  They were never Catholic enough to do the church thing often, but by god they were Catholic enough to wanna use judgement and shame as a means of trying to browbeat you into who they thought you should be.  According to my father, the judgement started at conception, actually.  I was an accidental pregnancy, you see, and Grandma only stopped abusing him over it after he pointed out that abortion was always an option.

18. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)?

I studied faerie lore pretty much non-stop for like five years when I was a teen.

19. Would you ever go on a media fast (i.e., avoiding tv, movies, the internet, and magazines for a certain amount of time, in an attempt to become aware of how media makes you feel)? Do you think that sort of thing would benefit you?

Yeah, and actually I have found it beneficial in the past.  It’s good to take a break and unplug sometimes.

20. Are you happy with where you currently live? If not, what don’t you like about the area and do you plan on leaving?

I love the actual land, where I live.  We have some beautiful countryside, here.  But I don’t like the people, and would love to eventually move someplace more liberal.  I love New England, especially around Boston, and my best friend lives there. (Though I don’t think I’d want to live in the city.)  I’d like to poke at the West Coast, especially around Washington and see how that suits me.  And I adored Ireland, when I visited, so I wouldn’t write that off as an option either.  For now, though, here will do. I’m in a good situation to save up money and plot a permanent escape.

21. If someone told you that we live in a society that hates women, how would you respond?

Seems obvious to me.  Though, I do hold out a certain amount of hope for things to change for the better. We just need to build enough guillotines and put them to good use.

22. When was the last time you were on a boat? Whose boat was it, and what were you doing?

... I honestly can’t remember that last specific time.  o_0  Clearly I should fix this.

23. Have you ever been completely blindsided by a break-up or have you sort of felt all of your relationships deteriorating before they ended? If you would prefer not to answer, what is the last instance you can remember being totally blindsided by news you heard?

No, not really. Generally you can feel things starting to unravel.   

24. Can you remember the last thing you thought and subsequently thought, “wow, I really shouldn’t be thinking that”?

No.  Like Shakespeare said, thought is free.

25. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)?

I don’t do white clothes, wedding dress or otherwise.  As for the rest, if I bothered with a second wedding it would actually be for me, this time, so you can bet it wouldn’t be traditional.  Given that I couldn’t see myself choosing a traditional partner, I don’t imagine they’d mind.