#if i speak i am damned if i stay silent i am condemned

[soyboysace]

mm... choices

[galedekarios]

devnotes: gale's last night alive / act ii romance scene

i thought i'd share the dev notes for gale's act ii romance scene here because i find they really add to the scene and the understanding of gale's mindset.

the desciption of the scene from the files reads as follows:

The player has accepted a invitation from Gale's hologram projection to come meet the real Gale at a secluded grove at night. There, they speak about how this may be his last night alive, as they near the heart of the Absolute, where Gale is destined to blow himself up. The player probes his mindset and can try to comfort him. Ultimately the scene may become romantic. Gale may lead the player to a magically-infused sex scene amidst the stars, or the player may determine they should take a more grounded approach.

and the cinematic context node is:

Gale: I love this time of light. node context: wistful

Gale: This may be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder... and with company to match. cinematicnodecontext: longing look at the player node context: full of longing - Gale: I thought this place might bring me peace. I thought it might make the weight of what I must do feel a little lighter... but I am not so sure. node context: a lot on his mind

Player: Is this truly what you want, to die for the promise of Mystra's forgiveness? Gale: Babe or crone, coward or hero, death is assured. Mystra's forgiveness is not. If you knew the end was near, would you not want to ensure it had meaning? nodecontext: Quiet dignity

Player: It's a heavy burden, yes - but one you're able for. Think of the good your sacrifice will do. Gale: I am trying. Believe me, I am. The path is set, and I will not stray from it - even as my heart quakes. I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

Player: Why are you so sure it's inevitable? We haven't even found this 'Heart of the Absolute' yet. Gale: I can feel it - ever since we set foot in this strange, corrupted land. The closer we get, the heavier my own heart becomes. nodecontext: Melancholic, comtemplative

the different branching paths open here for either pursuing the romance path, rejecting it, or choosing the friendship version, before then branching out into the astral sea scene, the more 'mundane' scene, as well as the rejection of gale's invitation:

cinematicnodecontext for the kiss: The player and Gale kiss seated on the ground. It's relatively chaste.

Player: I'm in love with you too. Gale: That's a relief. It would be a shame to spend my final hours making an ass of myself. cinematicnodecontext: relieved chuckle

Player: I don't feel the same way. Gale: I see... well perhaps this is for the best. Should my time be short, you will not be wounded too deeply by my absence. Thank you, for spending this time with me. I think I want to be alone now. nodecontext: quietly crushed

Player: I'd rather not listen to you wallowing in self-pity. Good night, Gale. Gale: A good night indeed. The fairest I can imagine... nodecontext: player gets up to leave. gale sadly looks away from them, returning his attention to the stars.

Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. [Approval_AtLeast_30_For_Sp6] Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either. Player: Stay with him and watch the stars in silence. cinematicnodecontext: The player and Gale silently watch the stars. The scene fades out.

from there on, the different versions of the romance scene can play out:

Player: I hope that wasn't a parting kiss. Gale: Not if I have any say in the matter. Gale: I want it to be perfect - to bond with you in the way that gods do... intertwining our spirits in visions of the Weave. nodecontext: gale stands, a little animated as he describes the possibilities of magic love. the player stands.

Player: Show me. Gale: How about the perfect night in Waterdeep? Yes... Let's imagine how it would be. The scene is this: you and I stand in the room that is the centre of my universe. cinematicnode context:

i love this line personally: this is gale's home and heart of his studies.

it really hammers home the point of what gale is trying to do here, showing the protag all of this, trying to cram as much as he can into this one night he thinks he has left with them.

cinematicnodecontext: Gale pauses, breathing in what illusory seabreeze he may.

i made a gifset a while ago of how deeply gale misses his home and it really struck a chord in me, reading this again in the nodecontext as well.

after this he introduces the book. there aren't many devnotes in that part except for this option here:

cinematic node context: cheeky grin node context: cheeky

after this the two paths diverge between the astral sea scene and the more 'mundane' scene:

the cinematic notes and node context notes for the astral sea scene are the following:

ending with a devnote for a wide cut and a fade to black.

the cinematic context nodes / node context notes for the version where you decline gale's offer are as follows:

Gale: the old ways then. If that is what you wish, so be it.

nodecontext: Tactful, bowing to the player's desires.

Gale: A small gesture towards your comfort. nodecontext:

and of course, there is a nodecontext/devnote too for the option to refuse gale at this point:

Player: This is a pleasant fantasy, but no more. Time to return to the real world. Gale: As you like. Thank you, for spending this time with me. If only there was more. nodecontext: saddened/resigned, but respectful Player: This is a pleasant fantasy, but no more. Time to return to the real world. Gale: As you like. Thank you, for spending this time with me. If only there was more. nodecontext: saddened/resigned, but respectful

anyhow, i hope someone found this as informative and interesting as i did. 🖤

[bossuet-lesgle]

Of everything we have read thus far, I think the musical does the best job of adapting this chapter in particular. It's nearly 8000 words long and absolutely critical to understanding Valjean and the narrative to come, and the musical manages to take that and transform it into a 2 minute 48 second song that perfectly captures the conceit. The idea of this very human conflict within Valjean, the notion that maybe there isn't one right answer. “Should he remain in paradise and become a demon? Should he return to hell and become an angel?” If he speaks, he is condemned. If he stays silent, he is damned. It's such a nuanced look at valjean as a character to this point and "Who Am I?" nails that so completely. Also it's just an absolute banger.

[hier--soir]

rachel's inner monologue in alp8 be like

Why should I save his hide? Why should I right this wrong? When I have come so far And struggled for so long?

If I speak, I am condemned If I stay silent, I am damned

now you know i always cry when i listen to this song😵‍💫 brb sprinting to spotify thank youp!

[mcversipellis]

“If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned!”

[seconddoubt]

feeling valjean "if I speak i am condemned if i stay silent i am damned" but it's social anxiety

[runeofgold]

CW: angst, cursing

Ever since their entrapment in the Erdtree, Radagon has never been so disgusted, and betrayed by Marika. He holds himself, soft sobs which are strained and tired, he's been trying everything.. And nothing works. Nothing has worked..

So he sits as far as he can from Marika, who stands looking into the fog below their platform, now home. She's frowning.

"Silence thy sobs.. It's pathetic."

She says coldly, not even looking at him. Radagon sneers at her through his tears.

"I wouldn't be sobbing hadn't thee gone and ruin not only thine own life.. But mine, and every other living soul in these Land's.. Why couldn't thou be happy with what thee had?!"

Radagon says angrily, beginning to stand, ready to sock Marika one. She chuffs at him.

"I was bored of it all."

She says dully, not even looking at Radagon. Who scoffs back at her.

"Bored? BORED? Thou.. Bored? Thou fucking destroyed everything-.. Condemned innocent lives for thy own selfish wants! Thou art no ruler.. Thou is a selfish, conniving rat. I wish i was never part of thee.. Im so sick of thee walking all over me!"

Marika says nothing, as she silently looks off into nothingness.

"Thou was upset that everyone else had what thee didn't.. Love. A soul with value and consideration for anyone else but thineself.. Thou art lowest of the low, and I wish i could just have ignored thy call..."

Radagon doesn't make it to Marika, as he begins to crack in the face and body, crumbling to the floor with soft sobbings.

"Oh Rennala.. Rennala..."

Marika looks to her pitiful other half, and rolls her eyes.

"Won't thee quit thy incessant whining?.. Heavens above its terribly annoying. Thy words are meaningless, and thee speak to me as if I am nothing more-"

"Thou art NOTHING! Silence thyself! For only a damned fool dies on a hill of rot and bones!"

Radagon angrily barks. Marika stands to stay.. Quiet.

"Thou has't took everything- EVERYTHING from me.. I can have my damned emotions if thou can ruin the fucking world we once stood in..."

Radagon snarls lowly at her.

"I can't stand thy words anymore.. Thou art a fool thineself, believing thine silly words even mean something to me anymore."

Marika says flatly, not even phased by his insults, by his hatred of her.

"Tried and true, I hate thee with every ounce of mine being... And so I hate mine own existance.. For I never seek to please thee ever again."

In his distaste for her, Radagon kicks a loose rock at her, before getting up, and fading out of existence.. For he no longer needs to exist outside of Marika. Leaving her alone..

[bryndeavour]

🔊 Blackwall

So you called me on liek the one character who I don't have a playlist for.

But the man is basically Jean val Jean so MY KNEEJERK ANSWER - without digging into some spotify deep cuts - is going to be so on the nosey that it's painful.

If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned.

[slapshotsandscones]

for the mini fic! “If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned!” victor hugo, les misérables

I see this as Jack right after him and Bitty come out, trying to deal with the media. Because on one hand, he's the first out hockey player, and that comes with a set of expectations to both be the "model gay" that straight people want to see, and to be a role model for gay kids in sports. But he also has an obligation to Bitty to keep their relationship at least somewhat private, and an obligation to himself to be honest.

So I could see it ending up in a situation where Jack really doesn't know what to say or do. On one hand, he could say nothing and keep his private life private, both to protect Bitty and to be the "model gay" people expect from the face of queer athletes. But at the same time, he probably feels an obligation to young queer athletes to be outspoken in his identity and relationship. But relationships are messy, and Jack struggles a lot with his mental health, so he also owes it to himself to be honest, but also to be careful of not triggering his anxiety.

And that could all lead to him feeling very paralyzed over what to tell the media, and have him feeling like he's damned by someone no matter what he does or doesn't say.

[goat-boy-sounds]

jean valjean is a transgender allegory like that man is literally transgender in spirit that man is trans that man is transgender I remember reading the part of the book where he has the "who am I" debate with himself right as I was figuring out that I wasn't cis and I was just like internally scream sobbing in solidarity for that entire chapter like "if I speak, I am condemned / if I stay silent, I am damned" "he treated me like any other / he gave me his trust, he called me brother / my life he claims for god above / can such things be / for I had come to hate the world / this world that always hated me" + the entirety of bring him home subtextually being a rumination on the boyhood that was taken from him... the ideological conflict between him promoting acceptance for those on the margins of society and javert wanting to enforce the status quo... the fact that he hid out in a convent and the nuns were just like chill with it... idk what y'all see but to me that is a beautiful tenor religious stealth transgender man with an adoptive daughter. at the very least, he is an honorary member of the community

[1solone]

If I stay silent, I am damned!

If I speak, I am condemned.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling and laughing.🍂😟🤔😅🤣😂😎

[sentientpyramid]

I do not know what to do this really feels like an if i speak i am condemned if i stay silent i am damned type of situation damn

[neurodivergent-aroace-64]

something interesting i just noticed about les mis is that saving the man who had been wrongfully convicted is framed as a selfish decision "if i speak they are condemned if i stay silent, i am damned" (i think i quoted it wrong but it works) im not sure how to feel about it but its kinda interesting

[catmint1]

If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned!

Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

[pikmlm]

if i start posting cringe. please ignore me please please. i like weird things and i cant control myself.....

[claratyler]

There’s a fine line between not overthinking/letting go of things and straight up pretending negative experiences didn’t happen and didn’t affect us

And i dont know where that line is at