#if it isnt then sorry for mislabeling stuff

[clownrecess]

Hello 👋 I intend to participate in a volunteer program in the next year and one of the places I may vollenteer is an assisted living facility for people with high support needs and medium support needs autism. The people who live at the hostel go to a care center during the day but are at the hostel in the afternoon and night and the staff at the hostel does the general stuff of helping them out around the house. That being said when I went to the hostel they explained that they use an ABA based approach of interacting with the residents in a way that according to them is supposed to teach them important communication skills such as pointing to pictures if there is a problem to explain what it is or to wave to get someones attention instead of grabbing them.

From what I heard ABA is wildly considered abusive but the people on staff argued that it is different with medium and high support needs autism. My question is: from your experience can aba be positive? Would you say that it's inherently abusive? Is it different for people with low support needs and medium/high? (I'm sending this to multiple blogs who talk about the topic a lot so you may see this ask multiple times, sorry bout that)

(tw for ABA, trauma, abuse sewerslide)

I think that if it isnt done in an abusive manner it isnt properly ABA whether it is labeled as it or not.

ABA in it's TRUE form is an abusive practice that's purpose is to "build a human" (the creators words!), and is essentially conversion therapy for autistics (or otherwise disabled people.).

I am fully aware that some people who have been in a practice labeled as ABA have experienced zero abuse, but ABA was designed to be abusive, so I feel that if it wasnt abusive it was mislabeled.

My ABA was greatly traumatic and made me deeply su1cid@l. The only thing it helped me with was remembering my zip code and address.

I know that opinions vary through experiencers and that is valid. I'm just sharing mine.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

you said that misandry isnt real, so I've got a question transmasc to transmasc: how do you feel about the vilification of masculinity in queer spaces? (that sounded really aggressive akdhakdhakdja I'm sorry) like as a transmasc person I feel unwelcome in offline queer spaces and then online I get attacked for talking abt transmasc specific issues

Btw just a disclaimer before I go on with my answer that i am a Literal Child and have next to no idea what I’m talking about lmao (I’ve only known I was trans for like six months aksjakdncjd) but yeah here’s my perspective!!

It didn’t sound aggressive at all!!

Honestly I feel like people are mislabelling something different as misandry without like, any deeper analysis. I’m not entirely sure what to call it though.

Misandry certainly does not exist—men are not oppressed on the systemic level women/people perceived as women are oppressed by misogyny. If you’re claiming misandry as oppression of men, that’s pretty much nonexistent. Misogyny is women facing violence for daring to exist. Misandry is men on twitter feeling hurt because a feminist said that men are sometimes sexist.

I do however agree that there are a lot of people labelling masculinity and maleness as inherently bad and I‘ve seen it myself, but labelling these things as misandry,,,not really? Since it doesn’t work the same way misogyny does so yeah. It’s certainly harmful though.

Idk what it is (I’ve seen some people say it’s gender essentialism but I haven’t read into that so) yeah, this thing of “men are inherently evil and abusive and maleness is bad” is a bad mentality and extremely harmful but yeah, labelling it as misandry doesn’t make any sense.

If that’s the sort of villianization of masculinity you’re talking about, I’ll have to be honest when I say I have never experienced it first hand or been exposed to that particular mentality too much! I’ve always curated my online experience and I stay in a pretty friendly inclusionist circle of blogs on this hellsite, so I’ve never actually seen that firsthand

I have however heard a lot of transmascs talk about it, and I do agree that it needs to stop. There’s a difference between saying that cis men are often misogynistic and violent towards women because of the patriarchy, and vilifying maleness and masculinity which straight up harms trans people.

It really does need to stop. Instead of villianizing maleness we need to work further on deconstructing the patriarchy. Maleness and manhood are not inherently evil and bad, cis men are often misogynist because the patriarchy makes them that way. I’ve seen too many transmascs say they felt like shit for being a guy and that sucks honestly. Men aren’t inherently evil but the patriarchy is.

Hope I could answer your question!! And again please keep in mind i know next to nothing about trans stuff and I’m legit a teenager lol so Im def not an expert this is just what I think!

[hol-eage]

I keep wondering wether I have autisms or not. I'm a girl and I feel like there is not much info about it or it seems incomplete. Any advice?

hey darling! I’ve gotten similar asks a few times

theres a huge amount to go over in working this out, this reply is gonna be long im sorry!!!

I think one of the biggest ways to feel it out and get a grasp on whether you might be autistic is to... use autistic coping strategies

I found myself feeling reaffirmed once i saw how much easier my life was when i was sensory regulating for the first time,

years of therapy and anxiety/mood coping strategies didnt make as much impact as realising that the root of so many of my problems was my oversensitivity to light and sound and touch, and my under-sensitivity to smell

things i do to regulate:

//putting a hat/cap on when its not gloomy, //wearing headphones 90% of the time, //purposely stimming to regulate (sniffing wood scented candles, //looking at crystals/glass that reflects light, //pacing in circles for hours, //rocking, //my weighted blanket...)

//having soft lighting in my room, an eye mask for sleeping and when im in sensory overload, //loud full volume music, //routine (routine! routine! Routine!), //not forcing myself to eat foods that made me uncomfortable or //wear clothes that were itchy or uncomfy

so thats a good place to start!

🌩🦇

things to search for

Go onto the hashtag #actuallyautistic,

I personally have a highlight on my instagram @/hgjosephine called ‘Calm’ thats about autism

stay away from parent led conversation (so fucking misinformed, abusive and depressing), stay away from autism speaks (disgusting charity), stay away from male autism stuff (not bc its bad and there are overlaps but overall i find it incredibly unhelpful and confusing in relation to my autistic experience)

I think the organisation National Autistic Society is safe! So read up information from them

🍂🌩

Good things to search youtube for are:

-Stimming

-masking

-executive dysfunction

-special interests

-Ted talks by girls/women with autism

-Burnout

-“Why functioning labels are harmful”

-Shutdowns

-Meltdowns

-Nonverbal

-emotional regulation

-Sensory overload

-Sensory processing

-girls with autism misdiagnosis

-Autism spectrum (learning what the spectrum is exactly is incredibly important, and isnt readily shared or understood!!!)

⛈🚏

A beautiful little documentary on youtube by the Channel 4 News called ‘Autism documentary: inside the UK’s only school for autistic girls’

In this documentary something the head teacher said struck a chord with me,

“We need to go looking for the lost girls. The girls who might need a diagnosis but haven’t had one because I suspect that they’re often excluded from school, they may be in prisons or young offenders centres, they may be living homeless. They’re vulnerable and misunderstood.”

The second she said “lost girls” I burst into tears, idk man it just feels like that’s what we are, it’s the most accurate description and it’s fucking heart breaking.

🧶🧦

The youtuber ‘Agony Autie’ is also beautiful and a wonderful resource,

Another good youtuber is Amythest Scaber

🌌🗺

An autistic illustrator who sometimes does autism specific illustrations is @/petite_gloom on instagram

🍂🐻

I personally got referred by the mental health team (when they realised my problems didnt stem from mental health and my mental health problems were a side effect of living as an undiagnosed, unsupported autistic girl)

So if you have problems with anxiety or anything like that and can be referred to a mental health team they will be more supportive and understanding

Though if not, talking to your GP is a start, asking to be assessed for autism

(long long waiting list in most places, in the UK at least)

Doctors will be less informed on girls with Autism as the research is still new, so taking a print out from a site like National Autistic Society might be helpful.

You may find that you’ve been mislabelling things that youve been going through, examples i have are:

//Thinking meltdowns were panic attacks,

//Thinking sensory problems making me breakdown and cry (for no apparent reason) was depression,

//Thinking burnout was depression

//Thinking agitation and tics were moodswings and anxiety (they are mood swings and anxiety but using different labels helps you understand the root of it is autism based rather than mental health based)

🌃⛈

If you need any specific tips then im more than happy to give advice! Questions on coping in certain situations, stimming suggestions, specifics on any of the things i listed etc etc

Good luck! I hope you’re safe:( i’m rooting for you!!!!!