wearequeer-andwearehere

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

"Queer Dyke Cruising" photos by Del LaGrace Volcano (1988) Jayne, Zed, Kim and Serena in North London

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

residents of the los angeles gay community service center's "lesbian house" photographed by bee ottinger for her thesis, c. 1972-73.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

"Transvestites" Documentary filmed at Mojos interviewing trans women in Aotearoa (1971)

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

pride pngs ! free to use! credit not needed but appreciated :)

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Source: Out In America; A Portrait Of Gay and Lesbian Life , by Michael Goff and the staff of OUT magazine

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

we were talking about the criminalization of homosexuality in class and my professor (who as far as i know isn't in any way queer) said something i quite enjoyed in that. well the exchange was more or less this: a student asked a question (doesn't really matter what exactly just know that i was rolling my eyes So hard internally) that i was and the prof looked at the student and was like (i'm paraphrasing here this conversation was not in english) Do you have any queer friends? and the student went Uhhhh in a manner that made it clear the answer was probably no and the prof said Actually statistically speaking you most likely do. If I had to divide this room into two groups the way to do it would not be "people with queer friends" and "people without queer friends" it would be "people whose queer friends are out to them" and "people whose queer friends aren't". And if you're in the latter category you should consider why that is--if maybe your behavior is indicating to the queer people around you that you're not safe to come out to. to come back to your question if you really want to know about queerness there's a very simple way of doing that: you make yourself a person queer people feel comfortable talking to about their experiences and then you fucking listen to them when they do (the fuck is not paraphrased) (there was a fuck involved) (frankly king shit)

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

reminder that "allies welcome" was once secret code for "those not out yet can still participate without putting themselves at risk", and for those who aren't out yet to comfortably exist in these spaces you have to let allies exist in those spaces too.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

pins by Abprallen

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

If you’re a trans girl if you are a girl if you want to be a girl you have to live. You can be a girl. You just have to stay alive, please.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

u can also always be a girl. if you want. its fun and easy. and u also dont have to commit to it. u can just be a girl for a day to try it. its fun and easy.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hey there— slight identity crisis here:

some days, i love she/her. when i refer to myself in my head i use she or her. i love the feeling of being a girl. other days, i love/they them. i use it when talking about myself in my head. i say ‘this person’ about myself. other days, referring to myself as they/them puts this icky feeling in my chest. but while she/her doesn’t make me feel the same way, it doesn’t feel right on some days either. i’m… not sure if i’m actually enby or my brain is just faking being lgbtq (i recently realised that i’m aroace — which i know is an lgbtq identity! — but i feel terrible identifying as such when i thought that’d i’d been bi for years, like my best friend is. it’s like— she gets so much crap for being bi, and like, i’m not having crushes or not being allowed to love. calling myself lgbtq feels like an insult to everyone who isn’t allowed to love. and— i know! i think that aros and aces are ABSOLUTELY lgbtq. but i just,,, apply that to myself, you know?

some days, also, she or they don’t feel right. sometimes i think that i’d want a new pronoun for myself entirely. or that i don’t mind what people use, since i think of myself as agender. any advice? 💛💛

no worries dude, identity crises is what i'm here for! i've had enough of my own, believe me!

hm. i think you gotta think a bit and find out WHY you feel this way about pronouns and gender like. is some of it self hatred? do you feel like youre oscillating between truth and repression? do you think you might be genderfluid?

i'm sorry your friend gets so much crap for being bisexual, it does suck out th ere. but hey. being lgbtq is not defined by oppression. i know that's the way it's been for a while, but it should not be that way. being lgbtq should be defined by who you are, not how other people treat you. like, there are trans people out there with parents who let them transition, gay people in areas which are completely accepting. it doesn't make them any less queer to not suffer.

the same thing applies to aroace people. you can't make the argument that a lack of oppression makes you queer, because oppression is not what makes someone who they are.

also like. aphobia is certainly out there. it might not be as out there in your face as homophobia and transphobia, but is definitely there. in medical contexts, and you also see it socially, with alienation and cruel jokes.

i think you have the same kinda complex a lot of people have where like. you got your heart in the right place, but only for OTHER people. you have this idea that you are different. you, for some reason you can't quite define, are uniquely worse, or terrible, and you dont give to yourself the kindness and respect y ou give to others. well, you owe yourself that kindness and respect too. not only is self hatred illogical, it hurts you and the people around you.

i hope i could help you out!! sending lots of llove <33

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

this is weird but im afab and i always found myself closer to the term trans woman than a trans man or a cis woman. right from when i was younger, i felt like a boy who was supposed to be a girl and is a girl. like ik this sounds off and weird but. i just, to put it in simple terms, felt like a woman in a man's body, but i have a woman's body already??!!!! and ig the fact that i had short hair and was made to wear clothes intended for boys and like basically presenting as masc though i wanted to be a girly girl?? once i turned 12 i tried to do all the things i couldn't earlier, i had long hair, i wore lots and lots of dresses which is weird for someone who lives in india, i hated and still hate dupattas but yeah. my journey with gender is so conflicted and confusing. i currently identify as enby (nblw) but i wish i was a lesbian, i think i am, just a she/they one. and like i have this thing where i promised myself that i wouldn't transition because well i dont want to. im not comfy in my body but i wouldn't change it.

-ised

omg hi!!! i also live in india!! hi five!!

you can be a lesbian!! there are a lot of nonbinary lesbians and theres a long history of nonbinary lesbians. you wouldn't be the first and you certainly won't be the last.

the thing with feeling closer to the term trans woman is interesting. could it be because like, you making the choice to be feminine instead of having it imposed on you? i'm not fully sure how to help you with that part

i mean. dude. most people who don't want to transition don't promise themselves that they won't do it. that seems indicative of some feelings you're pushing down there.

i understand not being comfortable in your body. but why do you think that is? dysphoria, low self esteem, misogyny, insecurity, etc? you gotta think about that.

being uncomfortable in your body is honestly a kind of sucky way to live, and i don't recommend it. wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. and you're gonna keep living in this discomfort if you dont figure out where that seed has found its root in your mind and yank it up outta the soil, kid

if it's dysphoria, there are gender affirming measures you can take. if its misogyny, there are things in your midn society's put there you can take steps towards unlearning. with low self esteem and insecurities, there are ways you can move towards learning to love yourself.

i hope i was able to help out dude. sending love to wherever u are (same country!!)

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

lately I’ve started to feel more masculine, like when I look in the mirror my first thought is “that’s a boy” (I’m afab) but also I don’t like being a binary gender, yet even when I put makeup on I feel like a pretty/feminine guy, or a femboy. Yet I don’t feel entirely like I’m transmasc. I’ve also never felt dysphoric, I don’t really care that my body is inherently female. I’ve sometimes questioned if I’m maybe a demiboy but it also makes me feel weird to be a boy, help?

hello there!!

first of all, you don't necessarily have to feel dysphoria to be transgender. some people do, that's for sure, but not all trans people. being trans is just about being the gender that makes you feel happy and comfortable, not running from what you hate.

i understand why you might feel weird. contemplating a change in identity can be uncomfortable. one analogy i like to use a lot is comparing questioning your identity to new shoes. whenever you buy new shoes, they're always gonna be a bit uncomfy, yeah? all stiff and new from the store. sometimes, that discomfort is because the shoes are the right size but they're just kinda new and you gotta break em in, and when you get used to them you realise your old ones were way too tight. but the other times, the shoes are straight up just the wrong size, and you gotta go back to the store.

it's the same thing with figuring out who you are. you might think youre x, and it feels weird, but after some time you realise it makes you feel more comfortable than y z or whatever. or maybe, b eing x just feels even more wrong, and thats just not it.

so you gotta think about it give it some time and see: do you feel weird cuz the shoes are the wrong size or just because you aren't used to them?

if you don't like being a binary gender, you don't have to be! boy and girl aren't the onyl options. theres nonbinary, and you can be kind of nonbinary and kind of a bit of a binary gender, there's so many possibilities out there!!

i think you should do what calls to you. if you want to call yourself a boy, if you want to wear makeup and be a femboy, do that! if you don't want to be a binary trans guy, dont, but if you feel like bei ng a cis girl, even if it doesnt make you unhappy, doesnt make you as happy as you could possibly be, then dont! don't settle on a label or look for what fits you. be yourself first.

i hope i could help you out!!! sending lots of love to you <333

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hey, so I'm ace and I figured out pretty quickly that I'm sapphic too, but like idk about men??? Idk if i am or am not attracted to them, and Idk how to figure that out either. I mean, I have looked at some men and been like, oh they're pretty. But I have never once had a moment with a guy that is similar to my very frequent gay panic moments. But I also, don't hate the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a guy?? Cause I feel like a romantic relationship would be similar with a person of any gender??? I've tried a lot of mspec labels, then lesbian, then tried aromantic too and all of them didn't work and now I'm at sapphic and queer, but I just wish I could figure it out you know? Makes me feel a bit imposter-ish, because how do I NOT know who I'm romantically attracted to??

Sorry, if this is too much panicking to unpack, you really don't have to answer if you don't want to. I appreciate being able to anonymously rant as well. Have a great day <3

hiii!! im so sorry for how much time its taken me to get to this, ive been neglecting this blog as schools taking up a lot more of my time

hey, it's not too panicking!! most people who send me asks are freaking out, and i've been there too. you're fine, don't worry

it's totally okay to not know something about your orientation or gender. there's so many people out there who are questioning or confused. very few people are always completely confident in their identity.

you said you 'don't hate' the idea of being in a relationship with a guy. but it's not about not hating something, it's about LIKING and actively wanting it. so like, with a guy, is it 'oh i WANT to date him hes so cute and funny and aksdjfhksjdfhskd' or is it 'i mean. yeah i guess' because if it's the latter, then you might not be attracted to guys.

i know you want to figure it out, that's natural, but ruminating is not going to help you. just let yourself live and be open to possibilities. maybe try talking to any bisexual or lesbian friends you have and ask them how they figured it out -- their perspectives could help!

hope i could help out!! sending lots of love to wherever u are < 3

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

International Lesbian Gay Association 16th Annual Conference New York, USA (1994)

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

here is a sweet story for you all:

the first time I saw my grandmother after coming out and starting HRT she said “here he comes” as I stepped out of the car and then started jumping up and down saying “he! he!! I’m going to remember!!” I started to say hello and she goes “oh! your voice!! wait, let me hear you say something” I say “hi grandmother” and she smiles really big and says “oh… that is a miracle :-)”

the moral of the story is that sometimes coming out is awesome and my grandmother rules. happy pride ✨