#if my uncle is sober enough to drive and if he comes back

[mxwhore]

[solitude4chiron]

White Ferrari

Miles 42 x black fem reader

Warnings/about: Angst/fluff, Drunk characters, slightly drunk driving, you get attacked by one of Miles’s rivals he feels guilty, frank ocean & skateboarding, caring miles

Slight trigger warning: You get followed and attacked by a rival of your boyfriends, you own a gun and pull it out

& yes this is pt.2 to fashion killa 🫶🏾 thank y’all for the support on my first piece of writing 🥹🥹

Miles took your advice from your last heartfelt conversation, leading his uncle Aaron to take more of the prowler role while he rebuilt your relationship, but after a few weeks off he sadly had to stay out again

During the weeks he had off you felt closer to your villain boyfriend than you ever had before. Him opening up his eyes to your world and you feeling every emotion he expressed he was raised in as a child.

You both went to concerts seeing ASAP Rocky (both of y’all’s fav) JID,  Brent faiyaz (Miles’s favorite he sends you lyrics all the time) and kendrick Lamar. You standing in the pit made miles tense up so he would always end up being right behind you, arms wrapped around your waist while dancing to whatever artist was playing, the tight space pressing your butt onto him which made him go feral, but not purposely of course 🙄 so he always ended up whispering in your ear 

“Espera a que lleguemos a casa, you want to tease huh?” (Wait till we get home)

After his disappearance, and reappearance you communicated your feelings to him a lot, as he understood that his weight was slightly your weight too, and it stressed you out. Even though his identity was safe and your relationship with him wasn’t too public, you felt someone had a hit out on your head.

“8:35 pm not too late…” and while miles was gone you dragged on your baggy evisu jeans while also pulling on a tight cropped shirt, finishing it off with a hoodie zipping it just far up enough so you could still let others see your bellybutton was pierced. Then you left, skating down the street with bktherula blasting in your left ear (miles always told you to keep one ear open when he wasn’t with you)

After a minute you stopped at a gas station for a drink and while walking to the back for your soda, you spotted a man dressed in all black. Shiesty mask pulled down, his dark eyes glared at you screaming disrespectful things

“Why the fuck do I live in nyc..” you muttered

At that moment you snatched the money out your pocket and slammed it on the counter whilst walking out, hoping the fast payment would put some space between you two. You also text miles. A lot..

“Hey miles baby, you free?” 8:49

“Some dude keeps following me miles” 8:49

“Miles please look at my location, I’ll try to stay in the area please come get me” 8:50

“Baby please answer me” 8:50

“Babe” 8:50

“Babe” 8:53

“Miles” 8:53

Miles POV:

“Aye pass that shi bru we celebrating tonight” I said through intoxicated lips while taking another swig of the hennessy bottle, and for a minute my worries went away, and that minute was actually 30 minutes

“Aye y’all imma head home ! My wife waiting on me” I said with a smug look on my face snatching the keys to my motorcycle off the counter, but my unc ain’t goin for that shi

“Gimme the keys miles, airdrop me your address” 

“Alright then dad..” I said sarcastically, but slightly pondered on that sentence because my dad, yeah 

While opening my phone to airdrop the address my heart sank to my crotch

Future wife: 7 new messages

Future wife: 16 missed calls 

Future wife: 1 voicemail 

And immediately I became sober. Hopping on my motorcycle and riding through the oddly warm night climate, leaving my worried uncle behind while tracking y/n’s location 

“Sabes que lo siento, I keep fucking letting you down.” (You know I’m sorry baby)

Y/n’s pov:

Although you tried not to acknowledge the man but something about him was familiar? You’re sure you’ve never seen him before but maybe you’ve heard of him

“Come here ma, won’t be long trust”

“Come on you know you want to turn around and look at me” 

And in that moment you knew who he was, Sidat. (Sigh - dot) Miles’s little “enemy”. Miles told you about him, but the way he was described to you. Made you feel like he wasn’t a threat. Now you realize he wasn’t a threat to miles, but definitely is a threat to you

“Move nigga, I got a man” you snapped

“I know that already love, fuc him” 

And something in you jerked to pull out the gun you tucked in your pants earlier. The gun that had MM (Miles morales) engraved in it, the gun you never realized could swiftly take someone off the earth, the gun that had purple wrapped around it. Personalized for your boyfriends touch 

“I said move nigga, damn.” You said, turning around swiftly while pulling the gun out your waist

And you tilted your head, peering down the top of the gun hoping this would be enough to scare sidat away 

“You ain’t pullin that shi girl” he said whilst jumping on you pinning you to the floor, you kept the barrel of the gun to his chest but he knew you wouldn’t pull it. You knew you wouldn’t too 

He lifted your chin off your chest with his own weapon 

“You so fine, miles don’t deserve yo pretty ass”

And in that moment you heard a motorcycle almost a minute away

So he left, and in the snap of a finger sidat was gone

And you shivered on the floor preparing your words for when miles found you. Tears ruining your pretty mascara 

“Lo siento, cariño, lo siento, salí y me emborraché y pensé que si bebía no tendría que pensar en nada y..” (I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry I went out and got drunk and I thought if I drank I wouldn’t have to think about anything and I..)

“Come on hermosa, I’m so sorry” you saw a tear forming a the bottom of his eyes and you knew if he wasn’t slightly drunk he probably wouldn’t be crying right now 

He picked you up and sat you on his motorcycle. Going straight home

Timeskip: At home

“And yeah, that’s what happened. He vanished as soon as you pulled up.” You said through tears and hiccups 

Miles tried his hardest to comfort you. He took your clothes off slowly trying not to trigger anything inside of you and wrapped you in the satin robe he got you for valentines. He took you into the bathroom and ran you a bath while rubbing a soapy rag along your body. His eyebrows indicating his regret. He made you hot camomile tea just like how his mom taught him, and he slid your bonnet on your braids freshly oiled for bed while he played your favorite, frank ocean

“It’s my fault” you heard him sigh

“No baby it wasn’t your fault, It wasn’t any of ours I’m not too shaken anyways I promise”

“But I should have been checking your texts, just like you always tell me too…” and he buried his head into your breasts trying to hold back drunk tears, and sooner or later you were being showered with kisses. His breath smelled like liquor but you didn’t care. He made sure that night while you both slept he was directly behind you. Never letting go of your hip 

“Care for you still and I will, forever” miles sleepily sang the lyrics of white Ferrari, and you’d wonder if he knew what he sang, or the impact it made in your head. It almost felt like he could only love you this deeply when he was drunk. Maybe he just felt this way the whole time

And through every kiss he apologized, because sober or not it pained him so much someone besides him had hurt you, purposely. The music filled your room and leaked out your shared window freezing time, and all you could do was stare at the boy you loved in awe

Because you never thought he could love someone so deeply 

[honoviadakai]

Rating the Hazbin crew based on how much I trust them to drive me places 🚗 😈

(This idea comes from @not-just-another-hazbin don’t think I didn’t see your reblog my friend, it’s been making me cackle for a week now 🤣)

Charlie 🏨🎶:

8/10

Oh this is the SAFEST person you could get in a car with

Although

9 times out of 10, she’s probably not the one driving

It would be Razzle and Dazzle

That being said

When she DOES drive, you’re guaranteed to get from point A to point B in one piece

She’s a little too safe though….

She follows all traffic laws to the letter

And that wouldn’t borne a problem…if you guys weren’t in hell

Traffic laws in hell are a suggestion more than anything else

So more often then not, people are yelling slurs and insults at you two

Also, she’s lowkey a s low driver

She refuses to go above 30mph unless absolutely necessary

And that’s usually never with her

So if you have an appointment at 4pm and she’s the one driving you

No you don’t

It’s at 2pm

3pm at latest

She honestly gives off massive “trying to be the cool mom” vibes when driving

But her some slack, it’s the daddy issues that make her give that vibe

Vaggie 🦋🗡️:

8/10

She’s pretty ok at driving tbh

She’s gonna keep you safe and she’s more than capable of navigating you through the hellscape of hell’s roads

But her road rage is insane

Like you’d think someone like Husk has horrible road rage right?

Nah

It’s Vaggie

She genuinely might actually start ramming into people if they’re being truly unreasonably unhinged and threaten your safety

She truly just wants to keep you safe so that’s exactly what she’s gonna do

Just keep your seatbelt on…please

She’s also just not gonna let anyone eat in her car

No exceptions

Alastor🦌📻:

-100/10

Why…oh why in the ever loving FUCK would you get in a car where the RADIO DEMON was behind the wheel!?!

Get out of the car!

NOW!

He’s gonna cause an accident on the freeway on purpose!

And god help you if you say you’re in a hurry!

He’s gonna grove even slower than Charlie!

Like 5MPH kind of slow!

DO. NOT. LET. ALASTOR. DRIVE!

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

6/10

He’s an average driver tbh

Well…

When he’s being chill/sober

He’s pretty good at staying out of trouble and getting you from point A to B in the time you need

Now if he’s having a manic episode or had too much coke….

Please for the love of god buckle up

He’s speeding so fast it makes Sonic the Hedgehog look like a tortoise

He’s there for a good time, not a long time and he wants to see some shit get wrecked

But tbh he might not let you in the car if he’s doing this

He doesn’t care what happens to him

But you?

Your safety matters so much to him…

Thankfully he hasn’t done stuff like that in a long time so for the most part, he’s a good person to go to if you need a ride

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

9/10

He’s got the soul of a grumpy old man and he drives like one too

First of all

He’s gonna complain when you ask him to take you anywhere

He’s gonna drive you ofc

But he’s gonna act like you took him away from something important

It was booze

You took him away from his quiet drinking time

How dare you

He’s gonna get you from point A to B as quickly and as safely as he can

Nothing crazy, he just wants to hurry back home with as little chaos happening as possible

Low key I feel like he plays country, blues and/or rock music from around the time he was alive

It’s mostly sad music if you really listen to the lyrics

He honestly doesn’t care if you eat in the car but if you make a mess, he’s making you clean it

It’s honestly like getting a ride from you’re very tired and jaded uncle

Niffty🐞🪡:

-90/19

No

Absolutely not

First of all

Look at her

She’s like 3 ft tall

How is she supposed to reach the pedals or look over the steering wheel????

Second

Even if she was tall enough to drive properly….would you honestly get in the car with her???

The best way I can explain her driving….

And even then…I think she’s 1000 times worse than this guy

She’d tumble it hard enough to make it explode while you’re both still inside

And she’s laugh gleefully….

Just get a cab…it’s much safer

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

-60/10

Ok

I know he’s capable of piloting his war machine

But piloting a ship and driving a car and very different for him

Ships are easy for him

But cars????

It’s like reading a foreign language to him

You’ll eventually reach your destination sure

But the town you just passed through is somehow on fire

And so is the car

And it’s only being held together by duct tape and prayers…

Just walk

Your chances of coming home in once piece is much higher that way

[thebisexualdogdad]

Hello love, can I get stephanie brown x GN! Reader who is Oliver Queens and Dinah Lance's kid.

Thank you!

Stephanie Brown x GN!reader

● you meet Stephanie when your parents send you to Gotham to investigate Bruce Wayne aka Batman's death

● you save the knights from a battle with the talon sending an arrow that explodes and temporarily blinds him, allowing them to escape

● Carrie "where the hell did that come from??"

● Stephanie "I don't know but I don't think we should stick around and find out"

● Harper jumps into the drivers seat of the van and Turner opens the back door where you're just chilling

● "the Gotham Knights I presume? We need to talk"

● you explain who you are and why you're in Gotham as they drive back to the belfry

● and back at the belfry they tell you about the court of owls and how they set them up to take the fall for Bruce's death

● Cullen immediately notices you and Stephanie can't keep your eyes off each other

● Turner offers to let you stay with them at the belfry but you've already got a penthouse you're renting using your father's money, if you're going to be staying in Gotham for a while why not do it in style

● you don't tell them that though, you still don't fully trust some of them, one is the jokers daughter after all

● when you're gone Cullen teases Stephanie about the heart eyes she was giving you

● Cullen "So Y/N… they were cute… and totally into you"

● Stephanie "we are not talking about my love life right now"

● you keep your parents updated on everything you learn while you and the knights try to unravel the secret society ruling Gotham

● Oliver "this court of owls seem dangerous, do you need backup? Connor can be there by morning"

● "how can I learn to be on my own when you're always sending my older brother to play babysitter"

● Dinah "that's not what your father meant, Connor just has a few more years experience on you and could help you and what are they calling themselves? The Gotham knights?"

● "I've got this mom, they certainly aren't the justice league but the knights are smart, especially Stephanie"

● Dinah "Oh? Tell me more about this Stephanie, is she cute?"

● "I'm hanging up now"

● over the next few weeks you and Stephanie get close

● you teach her how to fight

● she's actually pretty good at it, she just needed to take the time to learn the basics

● the first time she wins during a sparring session you end up on your back with her on top of you

● you're just staring at each other breathing heavily

● you think she's about to kiss you when Cullen accidently interrupts

● "who wants pizza- oops sorry, pizza can wait"

● and once again he teases Stephanie for what he saw

● Cullen "you were about to kiss!"

● Turner "who was about to kiss?"

● Cullen "Stephanie and Y/N"

● Stephanie "we were not! We were just sparring!"

● Duela "Oh is that what those grunting noises were? I Thought you two were finally releasing all your pent up sexual frustration"

● Stephanie "I hate all of you"

● she takes you to all her favorite places in Gotham

● from the best restaurants to hidden spots that overlook the entire city

● her parents would be so mad if they found out she was riding around on the back of your motorcycle and that gives her an extra thrill

● eventually she feels comfortable enough with you to open up to you about her moms addiction

● "my uncle Roy struggled with addiction, he's been sober for a few years now but he went though some rough times when I was a kid, he stayed with us when my parents were helping him get clean"

● Stephanie feels like a weight is lifted being able to finally talk about this with someone

● you get hurt during a run in with the court and end up telling the knights about your penthouse because it's closer than the belfry and you need medical attention as soon as possible

● Stephanie is stitching you up while the others are in awe of the luxury home you're staying in

● Duela "are you serious! You've been staying here this entire time and you still made us sleep on wooden benches in that shithole belfry!"

● "well sorry I didn't know if I could trust you guys when we first met"

● Harper yelling from the bathroom "guys! The water pressure in this shower is amazing!"

● meanwhile Cullen is raiding the kitchen for snacks

● everyone finds a place to sleep for the night in the various beds and couches while you and Stephanie go out on the balcony to talk

● "how are you feeling?"

● "all good, it's not the worst injury I've ever endured, you see this scar on my shoulder? My brother once switched out my arrows for boomerang arrows during training, my mom was pissed but my dad found it hilarious"

● "do you miss Star City?"

● "I miss my family but there are certain things here in Gotham that I can't find back home"

● "like what?"

● "like you"

● Stephanie smiles and she kisses you

● Star City already had its fair share of archers, maybe your parents would let you stick around Gotham a little while longer after you were done with your mission

[satashiiwrites]

wip wednesday, part 2

and a second time, just for fun and because I haven’t in a while. Catching up on a day off 🙃

Graphics by me.

Title: Welcome to the Jungle

Fandom: 911

Pairings: Buddie, Robert Nash Jr/Daniel Buckley, assume other canon pairings will make an eventual appearance.

Fic Summary:  From the concrete jungle to the actual jungle, five players will be summoned to Jumanji to save it from the wicked Van Pelt.

Rating: Explicit (sex, stereotyped villain) 

Tags/warnings: explicit sex, canon-typical violence, Jumanji AU, time travel fix it, slow burn, long fic, pod fic welcome, deviating from canon where it suits the story, canon timeline is a mess and we’re just not going to stress about it, author doesn’t do straight up adaptations, eventual happy ending, mention of divorce and canon character deaths, aged up Robbie and Brook, mentions of child neglect/abuse from the Buckley parents

Tagging @dannyreader8 @shipperqueen6 @tiny-reader @killerpeguin @victory-in-my-veins @idealuk @aida-sparks @piratepyxis @lesbianswiftie137 @buddiesmutslut @haderaide @zimes89 @rosieposiepuddingpie @lilylovesthings @spoodle-monkey @rasquirrell @blue-winged-boy . If you’d like to be tagged/or removed from posts related to this fic, interact with this post.

December 2009, St. Paul, Minnesota

It’s a week after Thanksgiving and St. Paul is starting to enter the deep freeze of winter.  It’s not fully taken hold yet, afternoons still are warm enough that the snow flurries aren’t sticking around and the four inches of snow they had the day after Thanksgiving has melted away like a premonition of the deeper snows to come. 

School’s out for the day and Robbie is walking home with Brooke, neither of them in a hurry to get to their destination.  Home has been tense as of late. Mom and Dad are fighting more and more but trying to keep it away from Robbie’s ears but he’s old enough now that he picks up more.  Brooke, despite being three years younger, also knows. 

They all know that Dad’s off the wagon again. 

Rehab didn’t stick. 

Robbie’s not sure what will make his Dad stay sober. He’d thought that Dad had been doing well until Uncle Charlie had visited for Thanksgiving and then it’d all gone to hell. There’d been yelling and Mom telling Uncle Charlie to leave which had almost led to a fist fight over the turkey.  Robbie had been ready to back up his Dad but instead, Dad had put on his coat and shoes and taken Uncle Charlie down to the corner pub which was open even on holidays. 

Dad had smelled like a liquor store when he’d stumbled home after midnight. 

He’s smelled of it on his days off ever since. 

Mom’s tongue has been sharper than a knife and demanded that they come straight home from school so they don’t get into trouble, which means that Robbie’s had to drop out of basketball and Brooke out of cheerleading.  

Robbie misses his friends.  All of his friends are on the basketball team and don’t understand why he can’t stay after school anymore.  It’s not like he’s a little kid and needs a babysitter anymore and Brooke was taking classes to be a babysitter, so she doesn’t need one either. 

Instead, they’re both reluctantly headed home two hours earlier than they used to, backpacks heavy with homework. 

Walking home—because Mom wouldn’t let him use his learner’s permit to take him and Brooke to and from school like he had been. There was no reason for Mom to drive to the school to let him then drive home if they could just walk. 

Robbie’s pretty sure he’s not going to get his full license when he turns sixteen—that he’ll have to wait until Mom’s okay with it.  Not with how Mom’s been restricting like she did the last time Dad got this bad.  When Dad gets like this, Mom needs control.  When Robbie was younger it’d been annoying and scary, now it’s frustrating and he’s getting mad.  Last night, Mom had taken away the GameBoy he’d gotten for his birthday telling him he needed to focus on school, not games. 

He doesn’t like being mad at his parents and he kicks a piece of paper that is crumped up on the sidewalk. 

“Robbie!” Brooke scolds, picking up the dirty paper and holding it up between pinched fingers.  The face she’s making at him is full of disappointment. “There’s a trash can right over there,” she points, holding the paper out for him to take. 

The trash can is next to an alley and is over full.  Trash pickup got delayed last week because of the holiday and people have been stashing bags wherever they can, a broken bag likely the source of the litter Brooke is holding. Rolling his eyes and with a heavy sigh, Robbie takes the gross paper and stuffs it between two bags.  “There? Happy?”

Brooke frowns, cocking her head which makes her blonde pony tail sway.  “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Robbie asks even as he feels the low thrum of a drumbeat in his bones, making him want to shiver. 

“The drums?  Do you hear them?”

“I do.  Where is it coming from?”

“It’s coming from the alley,” Brooke whispers, eyes wide as she stares down the narrow alley between apartment buildings.  They’re only two blocks from home . 

Robbie, suddenly feeling contrary, decides to investigate. So what if they’re five minutes late getting home?  Mom can deal with it. 

“Robbie!” Brooke hisses, trying to catch his coat as he slides past the mountain of trash.  “What are you doing?!?”

“Seeing what’s making the noise,” he tosses over his shoulder as he moves deeper into the alley.  It’s dark in here, the late afternoon sun rapidly fading this far north and the angle of sunlight is blocked by the tall buildings on either side.  Soon, they’ll be walking home from school in the twilight, Robbie thinks as he twists around a broken fire escape ladder that is stuck in the down position.

He should tell his dad about the broken ladder.  This building is connected to theirs and Dad likes to make sure exits are always clear for evacuations. 

The drumbeats grow stronger, seeming to echo from everywhere as it bounces off the brick walls until he stumbles across a trash bag that spills open at his feet, dropping something heavy on his left foot. 

The drumbeats cease and the only noise is the distant sound of traffic that is ubiquitous anywhere in St. Paul. 

“Ouch,” Robbie grumbles as he crouches to see what fell on his foot. 

“Robbie?” Brooke calls, having followed him into the alley.  

“I’ll be right there, Brooke,” he says as he uncovers an old GameBoy. 

[samtrapani]

Do you think ilyena and dimitri got along? Were they friends? What about anna and dimitri ? Does mikhail even love his wife? I just love when you talk about these mfs 🥰🥰

firstly aaa thank you for enjoying the ramblings abt the faustins and dimitri bc i just. love their dynamic so much !!

secondly, well. i like to think ilyena and dimitri get along (considering i'm pretty sure she calls him 'dima', suggesting they are close friends, at least). dimitri is pretty much the only other person who remembers the old mikhail, the mikhail who laughed and talked about the bright future the three of them would have, once they got their shit together. i like to think that even after being in prison, mikhail still wasn't that far gone, sure maybe he smiled a bit less, but he still was gentle in a way with ilyena. dimitri and ilyena, sitting around, talking about the old days. a picture of the three of them somewhere in their house, in a shoebox buried under a pile of bad memories, forgotten.

honestly, i don't think ilyena would've even guessed dimitri would betray them. because they would've been close. he's mikhail's best friend, he probably made sure all their affairs (day-to-day) are in some sort of order. how could someone who has done so much for them just. kick their house of cards down?

and anna, misguided and rebellious anna... she definitely thought of dimitri as an uncle, i mean, he's always with her father, always around the house. driving her to piano recitals and ballet lessons as a child when mikhail was too busy, telling her to stay away from drugs and boys with nasty grins. somewhere along the lines, she grew up, understood what the people around her did, and got lost trying to find herself. i think the anna we see in-game would call dimitri a hypocrite and condemn him to be just as bad as her father, but baby anna would've thought the world of him (and that makes me sad)

lastly, well. mikhail loves his wife. or maybe loved. i.... he's so just. fraught with anger and perpetually coked up. he's losing touch. i know all we see him do in-game is scream at ilyena, and ilyena blames herself for how he turned out, but 1) she isn't at fault at all and idk. she... it's... kind of a domestic abuse thing to be like 'oh yeah it's my fault' and i'm not saying mikhail is a nice person or he treats ilyena well during the course of the game. 2) she mentions how he used to be a better person. it's... it's a tricky question. he loved her. he loves her, now, still, in his own drug-addled way, through the haze he's constantly in. i'm not going to pretend he isn't like. flirting w girls and banging chicks on the side. he says he's done everything to get them all to liberty city with a nice house and a nice life (supposedly). the love he had for ilyena is no longer the same as when they first met and fell in love and got married. everything curdled and soured with time and due to his own habits. he loves her in a way that's just soured with hate, but i think sometimes, sometimes, when he's sober enough, when there's a delicate break in the screaming, there's something in his face and manners where it's almost. as it was before. (ilyena still loves him. i... believe she thought he would come back from the brink some day, but, well, we all know how that turned out.)

[uniquejellyfishqueen]

my soul hurts and there are all these words needing out.

The memories won’t come all at once, and now that I realized the aura of a migraine is now connected with a memory surfacing I’m allowing all of that to happen naturally at my mind's own pace. For me they always strike the same place, my eyes. That’s sad in a beautiful way, the memories that I’m supposed to see hurt the things I need to see in the first place. Is this what they meant when they said “I was Blind but Now I See?” So far the memories that have surfaced are ones I had a sense of remembering but now I’m able to see in a more vivid light. These memories have both of my uncles in them. This also makes sense since we grew up in the same house. Ricky is older, he is also the one that has given me a lifelong skill of immediately becoming nauseated if i were to see a merry-go-round (still not sorry about your leather jacket, you asked for it.) He is also the one that took me ice skating for the first time, he was so mad that I threw a hissy fit because I refused to wear anything but my OGI bodysuit. Both of them are featured in the memory of sledding at the Beaver Dam (btw this was illegal right?) my tailbone recovered eventually because from what they said “she caught some air.” Matt was there when my mom ran off to Florida to get married, the day my kitty died, and he also taught me how to drive. The both of them also passed down the gift of music, they might not be labeled as musicians but that's another debate in itself. They know their shit on the topic and they passed it along to me. Mixed with my adhd my Spotify is like a kangaroo monkey all jacked up on MD.

Other memories unfortunately have had the pleasure of coming back on things I remember happening and honestly I wish I didn't. Cringe moments, and attacks are a freaking thing and they make you feel so gross and so unworthy that you just want to crawl into a hole and lay there until you die. Cringe moments, anxiety, depression, you know the list I’m talking about. Mental health comes in all shapes and sizes just like us little people on the game board, oops I mean our lovely Mother Earth. But just like the way we have resulted in treating each other we do the same thing with other people's mental health. But we also do it to our own feelings and mental health. We are our own biggest critic. I want to really emphasize that I know the words others have spoken to me are true, but they aren’t true for me at that moment. This sounds dumb but upon examination of myself in a better sober light I see that I have been spoiled in the fact that I expect to hear what I want, not what I need to hear from the other person. This results in me overreacting and being ignorant to people who “love” me. I can’t change things said in haste, I can’t erase things that should have never happened. But I can start to take ownership of things that I did have a hand in.

To the girls I was a cunt to from the ages of 12 to about 25 I’m sorry that I was insecure due to personal issues that I was unaware I was harboring. Not one rude thing I ever said should have been voiced. I’m sorry that I added to the slut shaming, its already a double standard so if you did get called a slut by me, Girl i hope you enjoyed the D! I'm all about female support now. Unless this were to be with someone my heart was connected to then I would be pretty mad.

To anyone that tried to help me along the way and I pushed you far enough that you walked away, I’m sorry that I couldn’t put in effort too.

There are many other apologies that I should make but there is the time where you put everyone else above yourself all the time and you stop and see that the people you have done that for wouldn’t do it for you. I can’t waste time anymore being sad and apologizing for the actions of other people when I know that deep in my heart I’m worth more than that. I do deserve better than that.

[simthorium]

“Hey kid, how’s school going?” Isaac asked when he saw his niece sitting on the couch. “Hey Uncle Isaac. It’s ok,” Jordyn said with a sigh. “High school’s a lot different than I thought it’d be. But, it’s nice to have family around.” “Yeah, you’ve got no shortage there,” Isaac said.

Before Jordyn could talk more about her day at school, Oliver walked into the living room. He was still in his undies, smelled like he hadn’t showered in days, and was chugging a beer. He let out a loud burp, interrupting the conversation.

“Ugh, dad!” Jordyn said, jumping to her feet. “You need to shower. And put on some clothes.” “Don’t tell me what to do,” Oliver muttered. “I’m the parent, not you.”

“Parent!?” Jordyn exclaimed. “You haven’t parented me a day in your life! All you do is sit around in your underwear, drinking all day! If Uncle Isaac hadn’t taken us in after mom died, we’d be homeless because you can’t get your act together!” “You take that back!” Oliver shouted. “No! You’ve been like this my whole life, and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you!” “Don’t talk to me that way!” Oliver said, lunging at her.

Isaac quickly jumped up and rushed in between his twin brother and Jordyn. “Oliver, that’s enough,” he said, pushing his brother back. “You need to get some help. I’m serious.” “God, everyone here thinks they can just tell me what to do,” Oliver said.

“We’re your family and we care about you,” Isaac said. “But Jordyn’s right, this has gone on long enough. You can’t stay here anymore if this is how you’re gonna behave. Do you know how close you were just now to hitting your own kid?! If you put hands on her, I’m kicking your ass!”

“Do it then!” Oliver said, pushing Isaac. “Kick my ass like you’ve wanted to since I moved in. Do it!” Jordyn couldn’t take it anymore. She ran away from her dad and uncle fighting, unable to stand being in the same room as her father. “I hate you!” she screamed as she ran away.

“See?” Isaac said. “You caused this, man. You did this. I know you’ve been depressed and torn up since Cara died. But you have a kid, man. And she needs you. She’s always needed you, and you’ve never been there for her. You lost a wife, but she lost a mom. And she might as well have lost a dad too.” Oliver wanted to fight back, but had nothing to say. He knew Isaac was right. He unclenched his fists and started to sob.

Later that night, after Oliver showered and sobered up, he knocked on Jordyn’s room door. “Come in,” Jordyn said as she finished up some homework. Oliver sheepishly entered. Seeing his daughter’s face just made him want to cry. “Hey,” he said, his throat already tight. “Um. First, I wanted to say I’m sorry. About tonight, getting in your face like that. I should’ve never done that.” “Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Jordyn said.

“There’s no excuse,” Oliver said, hanging his head. “I’ve failed you practically your whole life. And I’m so, so sorry. Uncle Isaac’s driving me to a rehab facility tonight, so I’ll probably be away for a few weeks. I want to get better, for you. I want to earn your trust.” “I’m glad you’re getting help, dad,” she said. She wasn’t ready to forgive him, but wanted the best for him. “Me too,” he said. “I love you.” Jordyn nodded, not sure if she wanted to say it back. Oliver smiled and left, heading downstairs and into the car with his brother.

[dcvilspath]

@nxtgsvmcro​

ANNESSA + STEFAN

NOVEMBER 7,   2022

it  had  been  a  few  months  since  the  death  of  alexei  sobchak  or  as  she  knew  him  nicholas,  the  man  annessa  had  found  herself  with.  the  two  had  been  dating  about  three  months,  she’d  shared  so  much  of  her  life  with  him  for  her  to  come  to  the  ugly  realization  that  it  was  all  a  lie.  she  was  nothing  more  than  a  pawn  in  some  psychopath’s  game,  and  the  worst  part?  her  own  son  had  even  come  to  care  for  the  man,  the  boy  she  loved  more  than  life  itself,  that  kept  her  heart  beating  had  become  so  enamored  by  the  man  who’d  been  in  their  lives  and  now  he  was  gone.  but  even  with  his  loss,  none  of  it  even  came  close  to  the  hurt  she  felt  from  the  man  who  truly  held  heart,  silas’  father,  annessa’s  first  and  only  love,  stefan.  as  she  looked  down  at  the  picture  in  her  hand  of  them  from  their  younger  years,  so  happy,  blissfully  in  love  and  not  yet  knowing  that  their  son  was  growing  within  her  womb.  she  wished  more  than  anything  they  could  be  back  in  that  spot,  venice  where  he  had  proposed  to  her.  she  could  still  remember  how  beautiful  was,  vividly  -  he’d  planned  everything  so  perfectly,  annessa  couldn’t  wait  to  be  his  wife.  the  sudden,  lively  voice  of  her  son  pulling  her  out  of  her  thoughts,    ❝  mommy,  mommy,  daddy  is  here!    ❞  she  could  tell  he  was  excited  to  be  getting  some  one-on-one  bonding  time  with  his  father,  the  two  slolwly  building  a  relationship  warmed  annessa’s  heart.  a  smile  appearing  on  peach  colored  lips,    ❝  alright  sweetheart,  go  open  the  door  and  i’ll  be  right  down.  let  him  know  i  ordered  pizza  for  the  two  of  you,  along  with  those  brownie  bites  you  like.    ❞  she  winked  at  her  little  man,  as  he  ran  off  in  excitement  at  her  words.  

setting  the  photo  on  her  nightstand  and  getting  off  the  bed  to  give  herself  one  last  look  over  in  the  mirror,  she  was  wearing  one  her  favorite  dresses  and  made  sure  she  was  all  done  up  for  her  date.  one  of  her  co-workers  invited  her  out  for  dinner  and  drinks,  which  considering  the  past  few  months  of  her  life,  she  desperately  needed  a  night  out.  while  her  co-worker  probably  considered  it  a  date  by  his  standards,  for  her  it  was  nothing  more  than  two  co-workers  spending  time  together  off  the  clock.  finally  making  her  way  downstairs,  she  saw  stefan  and  silas  sitting  on  the  couch  getting  ready  to  watch  what  seemed  to  be  lilo  &  stitch,  one  of  silas’  favorites  since  he  watched  it  with  opie  a  few  years  back.    ❝  well  it  seems  like  you  two  have  gotten  settled  in  nicely,  so  i’ll  go  on  and  head  out.  ❞  dark  brown  hues  shifted  to  meet  stefan’s  gaze,  clearing  her  throat  a  bit,    ❝  i’ll  uh  -  be  back  around  10.  if  you  don’t  care  to  get  him  in  bed  by  9,  that  would  be  great.  i  already  took  care  of  his  homework  with  him  and  his  inhaler  is  on  the  dining  table  if  he  needs  it.    ❞  she  couldn’t  look  at  him  for  long,  because  so  many  emotions  came  crashing  towards  her.  annessa  focused  attention  back  to  their  son,  going  over  and  smothering  his  cheek  with  kisses  making  the  boy  laugh,    ❝  i  love  you  so  much  my  little  man,  be  good  for  dad  and  remember  only  three  brownie  bites,  okay?  ❞  as  he  nodded  in  agreement  and  saying  i  love  you  back  to  her,    ❝  you  look  so  pretty  mommy,  have  fun  with  your  friend.  and  tell  them  if  their  mean,  dad  is  going  to  come  beat  them  up.  ❞  his  words  made  annessa  shake  her  head  and  chuckle  a  bit,    ❝  don’t  worry  they’re  a  nice  friend,  sweetie  but  if  need  be  i’ll  call  your  uncle  opie,  he  can  be  pretty  scary.    ❞  she  knew  how  much  her  son  adored  her  brother,  and  the  last  thing  she  wanted  was  silas  getting  the  wrong  idea  of  what  was  going  on  between  her  and  stefan,  annessa  wasn’t  his  responsibility  ..  not  anymore.  

the  date  went  as  expected,  a  nice  night  out  and  filled  with  good  conversation,  laughs  and  it  helped  annessa  forget  everything  for  a  while.  there  was  enough  alcohol  in  her  system  to  give  her  a  nice  buzz  home,  but  she  was  still  sober  enough  to  drive.  as  she  walked  into  the  door  of  her  home,  she  could  see  most  of  the  lights  were  turned  out,  only  a  few  in  the  living  room  and  kitchen  remained  lit.  making  her  way  into  the  living  room,  she  saw  stefan  on  the  couch  watching  television  or  at  least  pretending  to  be,  annessa  chewed  on  her  lip  for  a  moment  not  entirely  sure  what  to  say,  so  she  went  for  the  easiest,    ❝  thank  you  for  watching  silas  tonight,  i  ..  i  really  do  appreciate  it.    ❞  sliding  her  jacket  off,  she  took  a  seat  on  the  couch  with  him,  making  sure  to  keep  a  bit  of  distance  between  them.    ❝  i  really  needed  tonight  after  everything  that’s  happened  and  i  know  you’ve  really  wanted  to  spend  some  quality  time  with  him,  so  i  hope  you  two  had  fun  together.    ❞  she  meant  it,  she  wanted  silas  to  know  and  love  his  father.  turning  her  head  to  look  at  him,    ❝  i  know  it’s  late  so  if  you  want  there’s  a  guest  room  that  you’re  welcome  to,  but  if  not  i’ll  see  you  at  his  soccer  game  on  monday?    ❞

[bernieanderson]

Are You a Toxic Leader?

Four signs you are swimming in harmful and toxic leadership water.

A river runs through the town where I live.

It’s called the Reedy.

Back in the day, when Greenville, SC was a working mill town and before the EPA existed, the Reedy River was the dumping ground for some serious toxic waste. It’s been cleaned up over the years. Downtown Greenville is beautiful now.

But there are still signs warning not to swim here.

Invisible bacteria and toxins are abundant in these waters. People swim here anyway. They don’t read the signs. They are ignorant of an incredibly unhealthy invisible environment. An environment that can make swimmers really sick.

This happens in organizations, as well.

Leaders addicted to the power create a toxic ecosystem. The people swimming in their sphere have no idea.

My biggest leadership concern is the number of leaders who don’t understand the dynamics of their own power.

We see these headlines weekly.  They are disturbing. Another leader, exposed for abuse of power.

We don’t need more toxic leaders.

Toxic leadership results from an relationship with power, and every person who leads should guard their soul against this. 

Many of my clients work in difficult situations with broken people and dysfunctional systems. Power abuse produces so many of these situations.

I work with a large number of folks working in Southeast Asia, all of whom are serving people marginalized because of the abuse of power.

The people of  Cambodia are still suffering the repercussions of genocide from just a generation ago.

In Thailand, the powerful are trafficking the poorest.   

We know people in the Philippines serving a marginalized minority group who were run off their historic homeland to scratch a living out of a mountainside.   

Today, in Myanmar, the powerful have guns and are killing or imprisoning anyone who resists them.    

This list could go for pages. 

So much human suffering is a direct result of powerful people. Rather than using power for the betterment and uplifting of those who are without power, powerful people use power to secure their position of power, gain more money, or satiate their lust. The nature of power is to cling to it at all costs, and at the expense of anyone standing in the way.    

How do you stay wary of power and the corruption that goes with it?

Step one: Recognize the Extent of Your Power

I used to be the pastor of a small church of around 100 people. It wouldn’t seem like a position of great power. There are many bigger churches with more influence and affluence.

This doesn’t matter. A little unchecked power goes a long way. 

I remember the day it occurred to me I had the ear of nearly one hundred people for 45-minutes every single week. Those people knew me, liked me, and trusted me. The possibility of exercising toxic power was sobering. If you lead anything, however small, you have power. Thus, you have the potential for its abuse. 

Uncle Ben of Spiderman fame was correct when he said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

I say with any power comes great responsibility. 

All leadership comes with great power.  Recognize this.    Failure to recognize our power is step one on a path to abusing it.  

Step two: Look for the Warning Signs of Toxicity

Accountability isn’t enough. Too many people think they are accountable and aren’t. It’s too easy to lie to yourself and to others. Leaders are good at accountability avoidance.  

When driving down an unfamiliar road, it’s important to watch for warning signs. I’m always on the lookout for these four “power alerts” in my life.

I coach people to keep watch for these, as well.  

If you find yourself in a place of leadership, look out for these warning signs that your power is getting out of check. 

1. The needs of those you serve are on the back burner

One of my early mentors looked me in the eye and said, “People always come before work. Because people are your work.” I’ve never forgotten this. 

This is leadership lesson 101. People are always more important. More important than reputation or winning an argument or even the status of your organization. If reputation (yours or your organization) takes precedent over the needs of the people you serve, there is a potential power problem. Caution. 

Unchecked power protects itself, its reputation, and its position first. 

Influential leaders serve the good of people first. 

2. You don’t keep your own rules

I once worked for someone who routinely and light-heartedly said, “Do as I say, and not as I do”. Sure, it was in quasi-jest. But I lost an element of respect for the leader and assumed all the policies of the organization were optional. 

So did everyone else who worked for him.

Any leader who acts as if rules and policies don’t apply to them is in a dangerous place. Leaders are not above rules and a system of accountability. Don’t convince yourself otherwise. Hypocrisy is a warning sign of flaunting power. 

3. Lack of discipline in mind, body, and soul

Even the Bible connects discipline of the body and discipline of the soul (I Corinthians 9:24-27). There’s not space here to talk about the importance of discipline and leadership here. (I’m currently reading Ryan Holiday’s new book, so there may be more to come in this area), but here’s what I know: 

Consistent disruptions in my habits and rhythms are warning sirens that something is wrong. When my morning routine is regularly askew and my desk is in complete disarray, I know it’s time to check in with myself. 

Discover the habits you need to be healthy: reading Scripture, prayer, healthy eating, making the bed, sleep patterns – whatever the rhythm is for you. 

Notice when you’re out of rhythm and your regular disciplines wane. This is a sign something isn’t right, and you may be entering toxicity. 

4. Lack of empathy

When a leader can no longer walk in the shoes of the people they serve, it’s a dire warning. Leaders who lack empathy are no longer in touch. Compassion and empathy are leadership behaviors, as much as are decision making and vision. Failure to listen, show interest, and encourage are signals that something deeper is wrong. It’s the beginning of toxic leadership. 

To avoid dysfunctional and toxic leadership, recognize your own power and influence. You have more than you think. 

Then be aware of the warning signs. 

Putting your needs first 

Breaking your own rules

Breaking your rhythms

Lack of empathy

We need more leaders. 

But we can not substitute the quality of leadership for quantity. Leaders who turn toxic cause more harm than they will ever know. 

Effective leaders understand themselves – and understand their power. 

Guard your soul from the subtle lure of power and lead with the empathy, sacrifice, and authenticity. Heed the signs. Stop swimming in water that can harm you and everyone around you.

Do you have any personal danger signs warning that you’re entering toxic waters? 

[kyloxox]

Slow Burn

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

Summary: Eddie and the reader are friends with benefits. The reader gets her period and almost cancels on Eddie. But he insists she comes over to just hang as friends. They both realize they like each other more than they thought.

Warnings: Kinda slow burn, some kissing, no smut just fluff

“Hey-ugh-wanna come over?” You hear Eddie’s voice through the phone.

“Sorry I can’t.”

“Why.”

“I’m sick.”

“You didn’t seem sick at school earlier”

“Different kind of sick.” It takes Eddie a few seconds to process your words and responds to them with an ah.

“Well you can still come over, to ya know hang out.” On Eddie’s side of the phone he’s sweating. Never has he asked you to come over without the intention to have sex. He has always wanted to however. He was just afraid as coming off too clingy too needy. After all you did kinda establish this thing between the two of you have friends with benefits. But in Eddie’s head the benefits part always outshined the friends part. Now he was finally able to highlight how much he appreciated you as a friend.

“I really don’t feel like getting high.” You deadpan.

“Y/n I like to think we enjoy each other’s company enough to where we don’t need to be having sex or not sober to hang out.” You’re silent for a few moments.

“Ok fine.” You reply back slightly quieter.

-

After 20 minutes of getting ready you head over to his place. He lives 10 minutes from you but the drive seems longer as you contemplate the scenarios that might play out. You guys could just be simply watching a movie, chilling. Eddie might get a little high, which you don’t mind.

Then your mind wondered to the not so great things that could happen. He could try to convince you to have sex with him. Say to you, your mouth isn't on your period. But Eddie isn't like that he isn’t pushy. Creepy. But then again every girl knows how guys get when they’re horny. And have a girl with a working mouth right next to them. Before you fully realize it, you’re in front of Eddie’s trailer. You get out of your car. You debate whether you wanna turn around and just go home as you stand against it with your hand on the handle, ready to open it at any given time.

That’s before you hear the pound of thunder and a thousand droplets of water start splashing down on you. Without thinking you start to sprint to Eddie’s trailer. You bang on the door and as you wait for him the lack for an awning on his trailer forces you to stand in the cold. Soon the door swings open to revel Eddie, standing in nothing but his boxers and a toothbrush in his mouth. Great. He definitely wants to have sex now. God you were so stupid.

“Caught me at the worst time.” He mumbles against the toothbrush. He gives you a playful look. You just roll your eyes and shake your head. “Give me a second I need to get dressed.” He says before closing the bathroom door. His words contradict your thinking. God you needed to control your thoughts and just trust him. He's not like other guys. He’s Eddie.

Moments later he is stumbling out of the bathroom in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He comes up to you and holds his arms out for you to give him a hug.

“I’m kinda soaked right now I don’t think you want a hug.”

“Shit y/n,” His name on your lips gives you chills, and it’s not from the coldness of his trailer, “Why didn't you tell me sooner.” He jogs to his room and returns with a big tie die t-shirt. He hands it to you.

“Is your uncle here?” You ask cautiously.

“Ugh no, just us.” You nod and slowly peel off your shirt in the middle of the tiny living room, followed by your bra. You look up at Eddie who is obviously trying to respect you by looking everywhere but your chest.

“You know you’re not gonna kill me if you look at me.”

“Just wanna respect your personal space.”

“I’m getting naked in your living room, I think if I didn't want you to look I would have went to the bathroom.” You say as you start kicking off your jeans. “Is it ok if I’m just in my underwear?”

“Whatever you're most comfortable in.” He beams. “So wanna watch a movie? Order pizza? Chinese?”

“Definitely craving Chinese.”

-

“Let me chip in Eddie.”

“Hell no. I got so much money from this deal. Jason’s dumbass and his 10 million friends payed like double for half ounces. Each. Wanna treat my sick princess.” You roll your eyes at his nickname. He runs to the door, quickly handing the man money and closing it.

He probably ordered too much food for the two of you. But in his own words, fuck it I’m hungry you’re hungry. And he got a ridiculous amount of money from Jason and his goons.

So now you’re bundled up with about 5 blankets that Eddie grabbed after searching for all of them for a solid 5 minutes. You’re close to him. Shoulder against shoulder. Heads centimeters apart. You’re both holding plates full of food, watching a terrible horror film Eddie threw on. You’re both not really paying attention. Eddie talks about his deal with Jason. He gets a little excited and starts his exaggerating explaining that you love so much.

“He’s gonna call me a freak for the soul reason that I play dnd and sell weed and then go and buy those drugs? Are you shitting me!”

“That’s the kinda world we live in.”

“I’m happy I upcharged him. Should have tripled it to be honest.”

“Should have quadrupled that asshole.” You say encouraging him. “He probably would have paid it too.”

You both discard you’re empty plates on the table. You’re still sitting fairly close to each other but not enough to Eddie’s liking.

“Cmon.” He says as he opens his arm to gesture you into cuddling closer to him. You roll your eyes but comply as you scoot closer to him so his arm is around your shoulder. You place your head on his shoulder. “You look so pretty.” He says not moving his eyes from you.

“I look like a wet rat.” You reply, snorting.

“A pretty rat.” He says those brown orbs staring into your whole soul. You shake your head and turn your head back to the tv. The movie is nearing it’s end, the final scenes of slashing coming to end soon. It’s still pretty early as the credits roll down the screen. Only around 11 pm.

“Wanna chill in my room. Wanna show you this new riff I came up with.” You smile up at him and nod. You both leave the mountain of blankets to move through the metal trailer. You reach his tiny room and immediately jump onto his bed, resting your back against the pillows. He grabs his guitars and starts warming up. You like this. Just hanging out with him. Without being high or having sex. Just like friends. Just like boyfriend and girlfriends.

“Ready.” You give him a slight hum before he's blaring the most beautiful sounds from his guitar. He might not be the best guitar player, he's good and his sound travels through your ears like magic. He keeps going, playing with different rhymes and sounds. You get up from his bed and start to look at yourself in the mirror. Eddie notices this and hangs up his guitar.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks coming up from behind you, wrapping his arms around you.

“Just thinking what I would look like pregnant.”

“I volunteer to be your baby daddy.” He playfully says before he runs his fingers across your stomach. He moves back onto his bed, leaning against the pillows. You slowly follow after him, delicately. Eddie notices, like a flower. You sit next to him.

“You wanna have kids?” Eddie asks to break the silence.

“Yeah, when I’m older. Like after college and I have a stable job. Stable boyfriend or husband.”

“Wanna live that suburban house wife life.” Eddie says elbowing your side.

“What about you?”

“Haven’t really thought about it much. Wouldn't mind having a little mini me running around.”

“Aww a little Eddie.”

“Our kids would be adorable.” Eddie says without much thought. Not until seconds later when it goes radio silent.

“Our kids?” You whisper into the air.

“Just you know a hypothetical, if you were to get pregnant. And we had a kid together. I just meant if it hypothetically happened.” Eddie scrambles to place words out of his mouth.

“It’s ok, Eddie I knew what you meant.”

“You’re so naughty. Always messing with me.”

“You know me.” You say sitting down next to him, “When did you get all these?” You ask placing your arms on his tattoos of the bats.

“Well I got this one from a guy at the hideout when I was like 16. He did it in the back of his van it was amazing,” Eddie says referring to the bats. He then moves to the goblin puppet tattoo he has on his forearm. “Got this one when I freshly turned 18. Little birthday gift to myself.” He holds out his forearm so you can run your fingers across the inked drawing. The soft pads of your fingers sends shivers down Eddie’s back, shivers he never wants to get rid of.

You move your hand to point out the one on his upper arm by his bicep. “This one is my favorite.” You say pointing out another demon looking type creature. Eddie smiles as you run your fingers across it too.

“Then that one’s my favorite too.” He says, you look up at him. He's already looking at you with his soft eyes. The smile on his face is priceless. Small, closed and simple. But you love it. “You should get one. Like a pretty flower or a heart.” You shake your head and roll your eyes.

“Yeah so my parents and friends can kill me.”

“Fuck what they think. Your friends don’t like me either way.”

“They do like you and so do my parents. And if you want them to still like you I suggest you not convince me to get a tattoo.”

“You’re right, gotta keep the in-laws happy.” You send him a glare followed by a giggle. Eddie always makes jokes about your parents being his in-laws. He says since he lets you wear his hellfire shirt and smoke his weed you’re practically married without strings attached.

“You’re crazy.” You whisper.

“That’s why you love me. You rather me be boring like Jason. Probably takes like two puffs and is out cold.”

“You really really hate Jason.”

“He's been tormenting me since he got to high school. A freshman harassing me? A junior. Bullshit.”

“Total bullshit.” A comfortable silence falls between the two of you. 

“I’m tired.” You say starting to lay down on Eddie’s bed. He follows behind you, pushing his body against yours, with his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

“Me too.” He whispers in your hair. You relax in his hold. He's a soft body to cuddle against. You both mold together perfectly, you always thought you did with him. No matter what you were doing. Now after tonight it feels multiplied by a thousand. But you both don't say anything more. Neither of you can. Afraid it might ruin the moment or what you have created as a whole. You both decide to wait a little longer. Besides who doesn't love a slow burn.

[sleptwithinthesun]

I NEED Steve reacting to Eddie’s kitten sneezes.

lmao don't we all. please enjoy a humble 1.8K fic, written straight from my goddamn soul because im insane about these two :)

It's beyond late when Steve pulls up to the Munson trailer, almost breathless with worry, shaking with the amount of pure anxiety and adrenaline in his system right now. He hates this, so much more than words will ever be able to express. The Upside Down has a special way of fucking with his psyche, pulling everything he's worked so hard to push down up to the surface and letting it breathe for the first time in years, life regained even though it was buried long ago. But for them, buried never really seems to mean dead, does it?

He pulls his Members Only jacket tighter around himself, the normally-calming night breeze biting into him. April in Hawkins is no joke, with the temperatures tending to be pleasantly cool during the day and plummeting back down during the night. As he approaches the trailer, he notices that most of the lights are still on, meaning that Eddie might still be awake. At least Steve won't be waking him up.

Three knocks on the door are all it takes for him to hear movement from inside the trailer, and he breathes out a sigh of relief as Eddie's footsteps move closer to the door. "Uncle Wayne? I thought you weren't going to be back until Thur—" He cuts himself off as soon as he sees Steve standing there, obviously taken aback. To his credit, though, his recovery is swift, even as tension bleeds into his limbs. "Oh, uh, hi. What're you... what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry," Steve starts, drinking in the sight of Eddie. It's a relief to see him like this, messy-haired and in baggy pajamas and breathing, "for barging in on you. I just... I needed to make sure you were okay."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he realizes how stupid they sound. He could have just picked up the phone and called him, there was no need to drive all the way over here, not really, but Steve needed to see. To confirm Eddie's safety with his own eyes.

Eddie stares at him for a moment, before nodding, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, I get that. Do you want to come in? It's a bit of a mess since I was cleaning, but the couch is fine." He lets Steve lead the way before following, closing the door behind the two of them and locking it, like he doesn't expect Steve to leave for a while. "Are you alright?"

Steve laughs humorlessly, sitting on the couch and looking down at his clasped hands. "No, not really."

To his surprise, Eddie wastes no time taking a seat next to him. "Do you, I don't know, maybe want to talk about it? I've been told I'm a good listener."

"And who told you that?"

"Most of the people who actually talk to me," Eddie says, shrugging. "My uncle, for one. Gareth. Dustin. And, uh, that's kind of it."

Steve leans back, turning his head so that he's looking at the other man. Eddie's not quite looking at him, in a similar position to Steve's just moments previous, his blank gaze transfixed on a bottle of cleaning spray that he must have left on the coffee table. "That's still not a lot."

"Not a lot of people wanted to talk to me even before I was a fugitive, Harrington."

"Fair point," Steve concedes. "Are you sure? I don't want to, like, crash your night or whatever."

Eddie scoffs, finally glancing over at Steve, even if it just lasts for a second. "Don't worry, you're not crashing anything. So far, it's just been a party between me and the dust bunnies." At Steve's tired expression, he sobers slightly. "It can wait until tomorrow, seriously. Besides, I wasn't going to be sleeping anyway."

He brings his legs up to sit in lotus style, and weirdly enough seems comfortable in it, relaxing against the back of the couch. His slumped posture causes his T-shirt to practically swallow him. It depicts the Metallica logo, because really, what else would Eddie sleep in? His sweatpants even have tiny bolts of lightning printed all over them. "What's bugging you?"

"The Upside Down," Steve tells him, averting his gaze again, absently cracking his knuckles, one by one, as he speaks. "I don't know if you've felt it, too, but it, like... it plays with your mind, man. Makes you remember things you don't want to, things you didn't even think you could remember anymore. And I don't know, I guess I've just been a bit paranoid about it all."

"I know what that's like." He glances over, sees Eddie with that far-off look again, and looks away. "Hell, I haven't slept in almost six days because of the nightmares." His nose twitches, and he inhales sharply, breaths stuttering with what Steve assumes to be emotion. "It's all just on repeat, right? Childhood memories combined with everything that happened, warping until they're the same fucking thing and—"

"—there's no escape," Steve finishes. "Yeah. It's exactly like that."

Silence stretches between the two of them, oddly comfortable, until Eddie breaks it with a sudden gasp. "hh'hg'nxt! gKT! hih'hh'kXsht!"

"Bless you," Steve tells him, taken aback by the suddenness of the triple. In the past week, he's gotten used to Eddie's common sneezes. Sort of. He's no longer surprised by the amount of them, at least.

"Ugh, sorry," Eddie mumbles, wiping at his nose with ringless fingers. "It's all this goddamn dust from cleaning. I'm listening if you still want to talk, I promise. Might just interrupt you a couple times."

"That's alright. I didn't really have much more to say, anyway, just needed someone to talk to." He shifts his weight, leaning forward and preparing to stand. "Sorry, again, for barging in on you."

Eddie looks up from where he's rubbing at his nose, which is already turning pink near his nostrils. "Wait, are you trying to leave?"

"Um, yes?"

"Dumbass," Eddie says, shaking his head affectionately. "Stay here. It's pitch-fucking-black outside, you really think I can let you drive in good conscience? I've got a couch and a bedroom, so take your pick. Or don't, I can always choose for you." With that, he turns away and crushes another set of sneezes into his shoulder. Steve's impressed. Only six since he's been here, which has to be some kind of all-time low. Eddie was a mess in the warehouse with all the dirt and dust. "h'kTt! ktsh! nGxt!"

Steve glances around, hoping there's a tissue box in the room, and comes up empty. "Bless you."

"Thanks." He stands up, pressing his bandana against his nose, and holds out his free hand to Steve. "I'm putting you in an actual bed, okay? No arguing."

"But—"

"That's an argument. You just sealed your fate," Eddie says, grabbing his hand when Steve doesn't go for his and dragging him down the hall. "My room."

Steve huffs out a breath, allowing Eddie to guide him for a few moments before an actual argument pops into his head. "You're just going to get worse if you stay in the living room, though. I mean, you said it yourself, it's all the dust."

Eddie actually pauses at that, contemplating, then keeps moving forward. "Well, then, I suppose we'll just have to share."

Oh.

See, the thing about Eddie Munson is that while he may be lacking in actual confidence in himself, once there's an idea in his mind, there's nothing anyone can do to talk him out of it. Meaning, Steve's about to spend the rest of the night in his bed. With him.

Jesus Christ.

"Fine," he manages, shrugging his jacket off the moment Eddie lets go of his wrist, intent on getting this over with as soon as possible. While a part of him is secretly thrilled at the prospect, the majority of him is anxious as hell. Steve's pretty sure he hasn't had a good night's sleep ever since he heard Chrissy was murdered.

Steve's still in pajamas, at least, so he doesn't have to borrow any of Eddie's clothes. He drapes his jacket over the back of the chair in the room, then glances over at his apparent bedmate for the night. "Are you coming?"

"Y-yeah, just gohhtta..." He breathes slowly for a couple seconds, knuckle pressed against his nose, but still loses the fight. "Shit, fuck, oh my GohhdT'sh! gxt'uh! mpt'shh!"

"Stop stifling. For the love of God, how many times do I have to tell you this? You're just going to make it worse," Steve says, walking over to the bed and lifting the covers. Maybe this won't be so bad.

Eddie stares at him for a second, nose still twitchy. "You know what, you're bossy. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Sure," he says, with a private roll of his eyes before his tone softens. "Get in. You need to sleep too, Eddie."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Eddie grumbles as he crosses over to the bed, grabbing a tissue on the way and quietly blowing his nose. There's a whole box of them on the floor, Steve realizes, carefully placed so that they're within easy reach, with a small wire trash can right next to them. "I'm glad you're staying."

He exhales slowly as Eddie turns off the lights. "I am, too," he admits to the ceiling.

"I'm glad that you're glad," Eddie says, sliding into bed next to him.

"Don't get all sappy on me now, Munson."

"Me? Sappy? Unheard of."

Steve laughs quietly, the last sound before they both start settling down. Now that he's in bed with the lights off, all the exhaustion he's been carrying around finally sinks into him, and he wants nothing more than to sleep. He's almost there, too, when Eddie suddenly crumples with an actual fit of uncovered sneezes.

"h'iTshh'uh! ik'tsCh! hih'kshh! kSHh! Fuck, sorry— h'isHh! ishH'uh!" He's panting by the end of it, sniffling back sudden congestion and barely even noticing what he's just revealed.

"Are you kidding me?" Steve asks, pushing himself up on his elbow. "You've been stifling all this time for that?"

He can only imagine the quizzical look Eddie's sending him. "Fuck, Eddie, that's adorable. You sound like a kitten. I mean, that's barely even different from when you stifle, Christ, why do you even bother?"

"Shut up," Eddie whines, rolling over so that he's facing Steve and poking him on the face, landing just to the side of the incredulous smile that's gracing his face. "Go to sleep."

Miracles upon miracles, he does end up sleeping through the night. And when he wakes up in the morning, Eddie is curled into his side, sinuses swollen and exhaling wheezily before Steve pulls him out of the dust-ridden trailer and into the fresh April air so that he can actually breathe.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I’ve got an idea! How about a Police reader who arrests Felix for drunk driving before the kids die?

Finally a good ending we deserve-

.........

Being a police officer who worked late shifts meant that some nights were quiet, while others were...tense. But even slightly tense situations could turn deadly if you weren't quick and careful with your response to them.

It's truly a matter of life or death, not only for you but also for those surrounding you. So you had to be on your guard even if nothing remarkable was happening.

Sure, the roads along Saint Juana's forest were quiet especially at this time of night, though from experience you knew it didn't always stay that way..

Such as right now for instance, when a sleek black car was barreling down the road. It practically flew by your own car, swerving in a way that was all too familiar to you.

In a way that a distracted or drunk driver would.

Welp, time for you to go to work.

"So much for a peaceful night.." You sighed to yourself, turning on your lights and sirens before you began following the car.

'Please cooperate and make my life easier.'

...........

"Uncle Felix? That cop's following us, slow down."

"I know, Eddie. Just...damnit, why now? I just wanna go home and...and sleep." Felix slurred as he gripped the wheel, his vision growing hazier by the second. He was anxious about getting caught, and for a moment he thought about speeding up to lose the officer.

He had no idea there was even one on these roads.

"C-Can you stop, please?" Molly pleaded, hugging Rocket as she looked back at the blue and red lights. "You should always stop for the police."

Although his drunkenness clouded a majority of his judgement, he managed to have enough sense to listen to her. He reluctantly pulled over and stopped, groaning as he rested his head on the wheel.

Maybe the kids were right. Maybe he drank a bit more than usual. He forgot how much he even had, but it wasn't his fault that the school had a "drinking zone" established.

Regardless, he was glad he stopped driving for the time being. Now he can just take a nap and forget the world.

Forget the divorce..and Ja-

Tap tap

The sounds startled Felix wide awake, though he saw it was you--the officer--at the window. He rolled it down and smiled up at you. "Evenin' officer."

"Evening." You greeted, noting that his breath practically reeked of alcohol. "You were speeding quite a lot. You nearly took out my side mirror."

"Oh...Oh fuck..I'm sorry 'bout that. I'm just trying to get my friend's kids home. I'm supposed to get 'em back by nine." Despite his attempts to act sober, he was clearly failing.

Ed and Molly remained silent in the backseat, not wanting to snitch and accidentally anger their uncle again.

"I understand, but may I see some license and registration?"

For a few good moments, he seemed to forget where he put those. He was even struggling to get his ID out of his own wallet, which made you fully convinced he was drunk driving.

"Ah, Felix Kranken?" You hummed as you looked at the card. The name was familiar. You've seen it show up in advertisements for a new restaurant that would be opening soon, alongside the other founder's name.

"Y-Yeah, the one and only." He chuckled.

"Do you mind stepping out of the car for me?" You asked politely, returning the ID to him. "I have reasons to believe you're under the influence and...possibly endangering those kids." As you spoke, you peered into the window to see the two clearly worried kids. "So I need to run some tests."

Felix's heart sank into his stomach, realizing just how screwed he was. Absolutely everything went wrong with his life today.

Not only did Linda divorce him, but Jack couldn't be bothered to ask if he was doing okay, instead making him be a "taxi service" to his two youngest children.

And the fact you were probably going to arrest him, which would ruin his chances to help Jack open the business he worked so hard to bring to life, became the last straw.

He choked out a drunken sob, shaking his head. "I-I'm sorry, I'm..I'm just so tired. I just got divorced and..I-I'll admit it..I got serious problems. Do you have to arrest me? Is there anything I can do??"

"If you're admitting that you're drunk, then..unfortunately I have to arrest you, Mr. Kranken." Honestly, you felt bad for the guy. But you needed to consider the possibly of him trying to use his position and personal problems as an excuse.

No matter who he was, or what was going on in his life, he wasn't above the law.

"M-My life is over. Oh god..wh-what am I gonna tell Jack?!" Felix began crying, but he complied in stepping out of the car, although he abruptly collapsed to his knees. He didn't even try to get up.

Your heart broke a little as you heard Molly trying to console him, telling him "everything is going to be okay."

For young children, they were so calm and understanding as you explained why you were arresting their uncle--reassuring that neither of them were in trouble--and got their dad's contact information, which was conveniently written on their bunny plushie's tag.

You were glad you stopped the car when you did..or god knows what could've happened to them.

On the other hand Felix was acting like the child, sobbing and hiccupping when you handcuffed him and led him into your car. He seemed more terrified of his business partner finding out than the fact he could've killed Ed and Molly.

Either way, it was better than him being an angry drunk. You've come across quite a few of those uncooperative jerks who denied they were drinking, even trying to run away from you while handcuffed.

But even so...seeing his tearful face as he apologized over and over was a difficult sight.

You were just doing your duty. And you've possibly saved all three of their lives tonight.

That was all that mattered.

[falcqns]

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan. 

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

taglist: 

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[noritoshiikamo]

So for the request, I know that he is a curse and they are supposed to be bad but I swear Choso is a sweetheart and I'd die for him. He deserves to be loved and taken care of. Soo Can I have a drabble with him, his wife reader and maybe a lil son/daughter? Some domestic shit, like uhh brushing and braiding each other's hair, cooking, cuddling etc.

This all cane to my mind after this:

ANYWAYS I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM UWUU🥺

hana

part 3 of ? husband choso series uGH SOFT CHOSO AND LITTLE BROTHER YUJI jkfwrhfkbf anyway here's some soft husband choso with a kid I HOPE THIS IS ENOUGH DOMESTIC CHOSO FOR YOU also beware at the ending, slightly suggestive because it's me, i like smut LOL anyway ENJOY!!

it started with two faint lines on the night of her graduation.

he was still in her robe and mortarboard, flipping the tiny tassel front and back amusingly. they came home from a night of celebrating but despite holding a master’s degree in one hand and another around his bicep, she was upset. knowing his wife well, he decided to not bring it up until they were home, trying his best to cheer her up before offering to drive her home and called it a night after 2 hours into the party.

she wasn’t the only one with a piece of paper to flex; choso now has a driving license.

she kicked her heels off and immediately disappeared into the bathroom, slamming it shut. folding the robe gently on the chair along with the cap, he put the electric kettle on and pulled out two cups with the intent to make sure that she'll have a cup of warm calming tea ready to sober up. his fingers tapped the marble countertop, wondering if he should go and knock on the door. he closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the cupboard. his mind roamed around, the sound of the kettle hissing was loud, but his mind snapped when he heard his name.

“choso,” she called out.

he turned around instantly. his wife held up a stick, where there was two faint red lines in the small window. choso’s face scrunched in confusion. “what does that mean? are you having a fever?” he asked, which she laughed with tears streaming down her face. he was immediately by her side, concerned by her sudden outburst of emotions, pulling her in his arms and asking if she was alright. she couldn’t help but to laugh even louder when she heard him talking about how weird this thermometer is and how does one read it. she cupped his face and focused him to her.

his eyes widened as her lips moved; “i’m pregnant.”

“what?”

“my friend told me i look bloated. asked me if i was finally letting it go, and not care about my weight anymore and asked what did i eat to gain a lot of fat since she wanted to do the same. and then another asked me if i was pregnant. so yeah, i figured why not and hey, look,” she took his hand and rested gently on her belly, “so now, i have little human in me.”

and that was 5 years ago.

she couldn’t help to smile as she watched the little pitter patter of their tiny human, screaming as she ran around the sofa, with a clearly exhausted but still giggling choso on her trails. “she doesn’t want to wear her pants,” he whined, pouting at the mom before returning to the tiny human, “baby, come on. please put on your pants.” like she had understood his every word, the toddler shook her head, giggling with drools down her face.

hana is the name given to their firstborn.

she’s mixed of them; locks of black hair that was always up in two tiny buns like her father and her mother’s beautiful eyes. she hadn’t shown any possibility of carrying his cursed gene, something they both had been so grateful enough when they first confirmed their pregnancy, but that doesn’t stop the child from possibly continuing her family line of sorcerer. something they’ve been keeping their eyes out ever since she’d turn 3.

“you need help, choso?”

“no, no, i got this. just, give me a minute and i’ll give you your child with perfectly worn pants.”

the child shrieked as the father got closer and ran straight into the protective arm of the mother. “got em!” she held the child up to the father. "nooo," hana cried when she realised her mistake. she pouted, willingly letting her father put the pants over her diaper. finally, choso sighed mentally.

“dada,” she called out, holding her hands out to choso. “yeah, yeah, come here,” he smiled, happily taking his little bundle of joy, gently tugging on her tiny nose, “hana, why is it so hard for me to catch you huh?” he complained to the little one and the wife returned to the stove, ears couldn’t help but to listen to them.

every time choso talks, she would listen attentively before reply with gibberish of english and japanese which her father would’ve thrown his hand up and be like exactly! see only you would understand me, child, and she’ll nod with a laugh, as if she understands everything.

their house has been everything but quiet ever since she came into their life.

she didn’t understand his obsession with the name hana and why she had agreed on it. possibly because they didn’t even pick any names yet at all up to the night where her water broke. they didn’t even know what the gender was; something they had agreed on to wait until the birth. so, at that point, she was willing to agree with anything if it meant choso would’ve shut up. “it has a lot of meaning, look!” he held the ipad to her face as she was easing into her fifth contraction of the night. “choso,” she let out a weak cry, “will you shut up if i say yes?” he laughed, nodding before bringing his hand up to his lips, planting kisses after kisses.

when the last push birthed her a daughter and the doctor placed the bloody crying baby in her arms, from the sparse black locks and the hopeful eyes of it, she just knew that hana is the perfect name for it. her tiny smile alone was enough to cure her exhaustion away from the 20 hours of labour .

without her, there isn't any point of life for both of them.

a pair of arms around her waist pulled her back to reality; she felt heads resting on both of her shoulders. “is dinner ready? you need help, mama?” he asked, pressing a kiss on her cheek; something hana instantly picked up and followed. the mother giggled at the feeling of their wet lips against her cheeks, “almost. would you mind airing her rice out? i don’t want it to be too hot for her.”

“yes, mother,” he teased leaving the wife alone with the child in his left arm.

choso has been the better parent than her; understandably due to her busy schedule despite her being hana’s favourite. she couldn’t remember any time where she woke up to a crying hana and choso didn’t shoot out of the bed instantly, feet running towards their daughter’s crib. “i got it, don’t worry. sleep, you have work tomorrow,” he shooed her away, rubbing the child’s back with his huge hand, whispering dada’s here. something unspoken between them was that he gets hana for the weekdays, and she gets hana for the weekend.

“anyway,” her train of thoughts halted, “her uncle yuji agreed to take hana in for the weekend. don’t worry, kugisaki is going to be there, so hana should be fine.” she smiled as he pressed a kiss on her cheeks, marching towards the dinner table. hana’s ears perked up at the mention of yuji, her favourite uncle and she squealed, calling out for choso’s little brother’s name excitedly. “yayy, uuji, uuji!” he placed her in the baby seat, tightening the seatbelt before handling her a piece of cut off fruit which she eagerly sucked on.

he was back, latching desperately onto her. “finally, a weekend just the two of us,” he sighed against her ear; his chest rested against her back. away from her daughter’s line of view, he planted a kiss on her neck while his free hand roamed under her shirt. a little oh came out of his lips as he realised she was completely bare underneath the thin shirt.

her chest fluttered at the way he looked at her; she could see a hint of lust in his dark eyes and his smile carried a different meaning. her cheeks instantly flushed, and she found herself clenching on nothingness.

weekend could not reach fast enough.

[ijustwant2write]

Father Knows Best-Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader

(GIF credit to @devileyedbanana​)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mzcrazy2​

Requested by anonymous: ‘Can I request a Tommy x daughter angst one shot where she falls in love with a rival gangster and Tommy asks her to choose, and she chooses her love but then he turns out to be violent and Tommy comes and saves her.’

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader, Finn Shelby x Shelby!Reader (Uncle)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Alcohol, being drunk, swearing, mentions of a sexual nature, family arguments, domestic abuse, weaponry, fluff

(A/N: Matthew is a made up character, AND THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED)

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I covered my mouth as I giggled uncontrollably, Matthew was shushing me despite chuckling himself. We held onto each other as we stumbled out of the club, our feet aching from all the dancing we had done, struggling to walk in a straight line due to the drinks. As we stood up straight, swaying slightly from the alcohol, Matthew took me in his arms, kissing me sloppily. Neither of us were anywhere near sober. 

“You’re so beautiful.” he breathed out, going in for another kiss.

I smiled into it, gripping onto his coat for support.“Tonight was amazing. I don’t want it to end.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

I groaned.“It does though. You know I’m already past my curfew.”

“Your dad should be happy that you’re out making friends.”

“You don’t know anything about my dad then.”

We hesitated to start the walk home, though both knew that Matthew wouldn’t receive the best welcome if he got me back any later. I was in trouble now anyway, but I didn’t care what any of my family thought. Time flew by too quickly when I was with Matthew, it was as if we never had enough of each other. And I wasn’t stupid, my father definitely knew about us. As leader of the Peaky Blinders, he had eyes everywhere, and if he wanted his men to follow me, they would. I had spotted several of them just tonight, but I didn’t care.

Seeing as these men would be reporting back to my dad as soon as the night was over, I didn’t want to wake up to a lecture from him. Instead, I decided to head to my uncle’s house. Finn had given me an extra key, just in case, and we were extremely close in age, he understood what I was going through; he also wasn’t allowed to do anything dangerous, let alone be involved in any plans, even tough he tried. 

“You sure your uncle won’t let me in? You can try to be quiet.” Matthew whispered as I stood outside of Finn’s house. 

I scoffed at him.“I can be quiet!”

“Well I have yet to experience that.”

“He won’t let you in. I’m sorry Matthew.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll see you in the next few days?”

“Of course you will.”

We slowly kissed, hands still wrapped around each other. It was always so difficult to let him go. This time, Matthew was the one to pull away, gently kissing me on the forehead before leaving. I watched him leave until I couldn’t see him before unlocking the door. Although I had been incredibly quiet, I heard a thud, someone (my uncle) was fumbling around, thinking an intruder was here. He had a gun in his hands as he whipped open his bedroom door. The panic in his face was replaced with annoyance.

“For fucks sake (Y/N), what do you think you’re doing?” he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“Um, coming in from a great night out?” I said, chuckling to myself as I walked into a chair.

“Oh good, you’re drunk. Why didn’t you get the driver to take you back to your house?”

“Because I don’t want to deal with dad. You know he’s awake too, he would shout at me as soon as I stepped foot in the door.”

Finn rolled his eyes.“You were with that prick weren’t you?”

“His name is Matthew and he’s not a prick. He’s my boyfriend. And I know that dad knows about him.”

“You should really stay away from him. He doesn’t come from a good family. We’re in the same circles (Y/N), people tell me things.”

I groaned.“Urgh, I didn’t come here to get told off by someone who is literally two years older than me. I’m going to bed. Feel free to call my dad, tell him I’m fine and that I had a good time, cause I know he won’t ask that.”

“What do you mean?”

“As soon as you call, or he calls you, the first question will be, ‘who was she with?’. Yeah, my dad really cares for me.”

Even though I slept late into the afternoon, I still didn’t feel rested. My head was pounding, I felt as if I would be sick every time I moved, and my feet throbbed, so all in all, signs of a great night out. As I shuffled into the kitchen, Finn was sat at the table, arms crossed and staring at me. Oh no, he was not going to act like a saint right now.

“I’m not dealing with you right now Finn.” I said as I poured myself a cup of tea.

“Tommy’s coming to get you in an hour. Make sure you’re ready.”

I mockingly saluted him.“Yes sir!”

“Come off it (Y/N). I don’t get why you act like this. Sometimes you’re really sweet, other times you’re...”

“Go on, get it out of your system.”

“You can be a bitch.”

“Look, I understand what you’re saying.” I sat down across from him.“But dad really hasn’t paid much attention to me recently. He doesn’t even greet me when I come down for breakfast. I know he’s got a lot on his plate, and it’s a big plate, but lately he’s been really harsh on me.”

“It’s because of Matthew.”

“He’s going to have to drop that soon. I get that I’m his only daughter so he’s overprotective, and because I’m a Shelby, but he doesn’t have to worry.”

“That’s the thing (Y/N). This Matthew has made him worry even more.”

“Why? Because it’s my first serious boyfriend?”

“No because...look, what I tell you now, you can’t say a word of it to anyone else, do you understand?”

“Finn-”

“Do you understand?”

I hesitated, but nodded, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“Matthew is....he’s part of a rival gang.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.“I get you don’t want me to date him, but that’s ridiculous.”

“(Y/N), I’m being deadly serious.”

“No he’s not. I’ve met his family, they’re sweethearts.”

“Because they want you to trust them.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not trying to piss you off, or make up something so you break up with him. He’s dangerous (Y/N), it’s all one big trap. They get Thomas Shelby’s daughter and they can bargain for anything.”

“Wouldn’t it be less hassle to just kidnap me? What if I didn’t fall for Matthew, what would they do then?”

“That’s not the point-”

“No, there is no point to this, at all Finn.”

“(Y/N), please, I’m trying to look out for you.”

“I’m going to get ready. I need to look decent for dad.”

Part of a rival gang? Pathetic. It wasn't even an interesting story. Yes, Matthew was a little wild, he brought out the party girl in me, but I was having fun! As long as he wasn't harming me, nor were we harming anyone else in the process, I saw no flaws with our relationship. We also had our downtime moments, times where we could lie down in each others arms, hint at our futures. Apparently not everyone could see that.

There was a knock at the door, and I sighed to myself, knowing my time of hiding was over. Luckily dressed, looking pretty decent after the night before, I took time walking out of the spare room, hearing some mumbling before I even saw my dad. Although he never showed much emotion anyway, I could tell he wasn't happy, staring me down as I approached him in last night's clothes.

"Morning dad." I greeted him kindly, hoping we would have this conversation away from Finn.

Dad looked at Finn in disbelief, then back to me."Morning? Fucking good morning?"

"Dad-"

"Get in the car."

I obeyed his order but not before saying goodbye to Finn."Thanks for letting me stay."

He just nodded to me, awkwardly waiting by the door as I followed dad outside. I kept up with his usual long strides, bracing myself for what could end up as a screaming match. Thinking about it, I never argued much with dad, but when we did, it was over serious topics, never anything petty. I loved him dearly, he always looked out for me, gave me anything I wanted, ensured that I had a good life he never had growing up. So the guilt growing inside of me was huge, but my stubbornness was strong. I was an adult now, I was allowed to make these decisions.

Surprisingly, there was no driver for us. I slipped into the passenger seat, both of us remaining silent as dad started the drive. I watched the streets of Small Heath pass by, the regulars of the city slowly making their way to work, dirty from the shift the day before, probably drunk to keep themselves warm. It was a sad, poor place sometimes.

"Are we going to talk?" I mumbled, putting my focus on him.

He sighed loudly through his nose."Are you going to listen?"

"Please can we not be malicious about this?"

"Why didn't you just come home last night? Any bar would have let you use a phone, they know who you are."

"Because I didn't want the hassle. And I stayed at Finn's, so I don't understand why you're so angry?"

"You were with that boy."

"Dad, when will you just accept that I'm twenty one and I'm allowed to see people?"

"It's not that. If you had found someone who wasn't trouble-"

"Matthew isn't trouble."

"You don't know everything (Y/N)."

"Oh, don't tell me, he's part of rival gang, right?"

Dad's eyes widened as his head snapped towards me, his gaze flickering between me and the road."You what?"

"Finn told me."

Dad groaned, putting all of his concentration back on the road."Told him to keep his mouth shut. Neither of you seem to be able to follow orders."

I rolled my eyes.

"I saw that."

"Look, I'm sorry for not at least calling last night, I know that was wrong." Dad was silent.

"But I really like Matthew. I don't want you to scare him away, or make up ridiculous stories about him."

"Stories eh? That's what you think they are?"

"I know they are."

Suddenly, dad put his foot down, making us go faster than I liked. He ignored my pleas for him to go slower, somehow not swerving off of the country roads that lead to our house. He was driving at this speed for far too long, skidding on the gravel as we braked in front of the house. Dad hastily got out of the car, whereas I needed a second to get my breath back. He was already walking through the front door by the time I was shakily getting out of the car, stumbling in my heels across the gravel.

I called after him but he wouldn't listen. Storming towards his office, he flung open the doors, not even flinching when they whacked into the walls. Quickly following, I watched his manic actions, shuffling through paper work and slapping down files onto the desk.

"There's your story." he said, pointing at them.

Hesitantly I walked towards him, scanning my eyes over his evidence. There were pictures, reports, files containing personal information. I focused more on the parts about Matthew, reading things such as where he was born, where he had lived, the schools he attended....and none of them matched with what he had told me. There was a portrait picture of him, I didn't know where dad got it from, and another photo slipped out from under it as I picked it up. Only this time, it was a mugshot.

"So, do you still think we're lying?" dad said.

"I...I..." I was speechless.

"You know that everything I do, I do for you. You're my daughter, it's my job to protect you. You need to stay away from that man."

"Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Did you really just ask that?"

"We've talked about everything. He didn't even hint at it." I was talking to myself at this point."I met his family. Why would they go through all of that? Host that dinner, make me welcome, say such nice things?"

"I didn't take you to be stupid (Y/N)."

"I know what it sounds like. But dad, Matthew wouldn't lie to me-"

"HE'S USING YOU!" he screamed at me."You're a fucking Shelby, you're the daughter of Thomas Shelby, you have a huge target on your head! It's an easy way to get to me, and to find out secrets about us!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."I would never tell him anything they he wasn't supposed to know!"

"Wouldn't you? He seems to have a hold on you, and it's scaring me. I've never seen you like this."

"That 'hold' you're on about is called love! Not that you would know anything about that, seeing as my mother was a whore!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that!"

"It wouldn't be a surprise would it, if I ended up with a fucked up relationship? Because I had oh such a great example from you. Fucks a random woman, she knows who he is, so she dumps the baby on him, hoping he won't give her away to an orphanage."

"Stop changing the conversation. We are talking about how we get you away Matthew."

“You’re not going to.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I’ve been with him for months, why is this now just coming out? How long have you known about this?”

He didn’t have to say anything but I still got my answer.

“Ah.” I scoffed a laugh.“You have known about this. And for some reason, you have’t decided to mention this.”

“It was for-”

“I’m going to stop you right there. Dad, I am going to speak to Matthew about this.”

“You will not go near him.”

“Yes I will. I’m going to get the truth, right now.”

My words escaped me before I could really think about them. I was already walking away from him, back out to the front door. Opening a cabinet, I searched through the keys for any car, any vehicle that would get me far away from here.

“I’m having someone follow you.” dad informed me.

“I know.”

“You’re stepping into enemy territory.”

“We’re not in the war anymore dad. And you’re not a soldier.”

I finally found the right key, heading towards the only car I had ever driven. Making my way to the garage, I ignored my dad, not even looking at him. I definitely felt guilty for what I had said, and what I was about to do. But I needed to do this myself, I needed to speak to Matthew without the pressure of anyone else.

I was not a good driver. Everyone was safe whilst I was driving, I just wasn’t very fast or great with spacial awareness. In my head, I had expected to be racing to Matthew’s, getting to his in record time. This had ruined my fantasy. Once I did reach his house, I slowly lined up the car with the path, wincing when I bumped into the curb; thank god no one was around to see that. 

“(Y/N)?” I heard Matthew call me as I got out of the car. He was approaching me down the pathway of his house.

“Matthew, I need to speak with you, urgently.” I rushed out, pushing him back towards his home.

“Woah, wait, wait. What’s happened? Why are you in last nights clothes?”

“Just get inside.”

By looking at his house, you could tell he was well off. It was in a nicer neighbourhood, it was separate from the other houses and had multiple rooms. I asked him if anyone else was home, and when he said no, I was relieved. We didn’t want them getting involved, and I felt like shouting if this went wrong. 

“You’re worrying me (Y/N).” Matthew said.

“Oh, are you worried about me?” I sarcastically said.

“(Y/N), can you just tell me what’s going on?!”

“Are you part of a rival gang against the Peaky Blinders?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“What makes you say something like that?”

“My family told me.”

“What makes them think that?”

“Matthew, I’ve seen the evidence. I didn’t admit it to my dad, but I believed him. I’ve seen your real information. You’ve lied to me about a lot of things. And why do you have a fucking mugshot?”

He exhaled through his nose, looking away from me for a few seconds.“I can’t lie anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have in the first place!”

He held up his hands in defence.“Alright, alright, let’s just use our inside voices. I’ll explain everything to you.”

Matthew directed me to his front room, sitting beside me, and although I initially wanted to shuffle away from him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it; especially when he took my hands in his, resting them on his lap. He wasn’t afraid to look me in the eyes, perhaps a sign of him about to tell the truth.

“(Y/N), your family is right. I am part of a company that rivals yours-”

I tried pulling my hands away, but he gripped onto me tightly.

“-but we would never cause any harm. We are only rivals in business. There is no bloodshed, no injuries, no deaths. The only thing we fight over are numbers.”

“That still doesn’t explain everything.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you already knew who I was. You know how it feels to have everyone already judge you based on a name.”

“Don’t use that against me.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to connect with you on this. The mugshot is from a brawl we had with a couple of ex-employees, they wanted to expose us with lies. Unfortunately we were typical men, and apparently that was the only way we thought to solve it. The police were called and I spent a night in a cell, but I was released the next morning.”

“That’s it?”

He nodded.

“You promise?” 

“I promise. And my family have not been plotting anything like your father thinks they have. Of course, they had an idea when I told them about you, you know, to ‘unite’ our families to stop the feud. Obviously that was ridiculous because fights don’t just end like that. But when I brought you to them, it was because I was proud of you, I wanted to show them the amazing woman I had found and fell in love with.”

“Love?”

“Yes. I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Matthew. I’m sorry for attacking you with all these questions. But even if I tried to convince my dad that he was wrong, he wouldn’t believe me. I’m scared he’s going to try and separate us.”

“Then live with me!”

“What? No I couldn’t do that to you-”

“Of course you can! You’ve seen this house, there’s plenty of room, my family loves you, it would be perfect! And...” he leaned in closer to me, whispering in my ear,“they’re hardly here, so we would have a lot of alone time.”

Although my heart jumped at the thought of living with Matthew, being able to see him everyday, spending every moment with him, I also dreaded telling my dad. I was old enough to make my own decision though. I could move in with Matthew if I wanted, what was stopping me? I believed everything he said, he had an explanation for everything. If Matthew was in a rival gang, using me for their own purpose, wouldn’t he just threaten me or kidnap me when I confronted him? It all seemed like too much effort.

All of that information dad accumulated must have been biased, especially if our families were rival companies. Although I was leaning more towards staying with Matthew, I didn’t want to lose my dad. I would have to be an idiot to believe that he would let me leave home with a man he didn’t like, but on the other hand, I was at the age where I could do what I wanted. Just because I had the last name Shelby didn’t mean I was going to be trapped by it.

There had been a lot of back and forth that day, both emotionally and physically. But here I was once again arguing with my dad. Stupidly, I had let Matthew come along (he was very persuasive), though he stayed in the car. Set on convincing him to let me leave with Matthew, we shouted at each other, screaming our opinions. He didn’t believe a word I said. Tears streamed down my face as I grew more frustrated, pleading him to listen, to give Matthew another chance.  

“I don’t know why I’m bothering to ask! I could have left without asking, without even telling you. But I did it out of respect for you.” I suddenly exclaimed.

Dad stopped shouting for a moment, heavily breathing.“Fine. Go then. If you’re so grown up, pack your bags and move onto the next part of your life. I just hope for your sake that I’m wrong.”

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I had never felt such conflict in my heart before. The first month of moving away was extremely hard, I cried most nights in Matthew’s arms. I had loathed every moment of collecting my belongings from dad’s house, saying goodbye to my family because I wouldn’t be seeing them as much as I was used to. They thought the same as dad, all had tried to convince me to stay. But Matthew was always by my side, reassuring me that we could start our own life now, not forgetting our old ones of course, but creating a new one. 

And oh, how quickly things changed.

Three months, three months of pure bliss. I was living with my boyfriend, having the joy of seeing him everyday when he came home from work, eating meals with him, sleeping beside him, not having to arrange weeks in advance when to next see each other. Matthew had even started talking more about our future, hinting at marriage, finding our own home to live in. It excited me. I was growing up, doing all the things a person should do. Perhaps this would show dad that I was happy, that he was wrong about those rumours, and I could finally see him again. I missed him so much.

It was like binding a contract with the devil. Once that engagement ring was slipped on my finger, my whole world was flipped. Matthew started staying out late. I knew he wasn’t going out drinking, he didn’t smell of alcohol when he returned, neither could he be cheating because I never caught a whiff of perfume, or found a hair on his jacket, or even see him come home disgruntled; he was just as immaculate as he had been leaving. Sometimes him, his father, his brother and uncle would come home, immediately gathering in the front room and slamming the door shut. They would be in there for hours, deep in conversation. And that scared me, because it reminded me of my family whenever they were scheming.  

“Matthew?” I had mumbled late one night, disturbed from my sleep when he opened the bedroom door.

“Go to sleep.” it was an order, no note of sympathy in his voice.

I watched him undress.“Are you alright? I heard you arguing downstairs.” 

“What did I just say?” I had never seen someones head snap around so quickly.

“I’m sorry,” I didn’t know why I was apologising,“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.”

“I am now.”

“Why?”

“Because of you! Asking me all these questions! I thought you were smart.” he made a show of collapsing into a chair, starting to untie his shoelaces.

I sat up.“Matthew, there’s obviously something wrong. You know you can tell me-”

He suddenly threw his shoe against the floor, but for a split second I thought it was aimed at me.“Just go to sleep (Y/N)!”

I was scared to move, thinking I would somehow do something else wrong. But when he continued to stare at me, I slowly slipped back under the covers, clinging them close to me, trying to steady my breathing to hide how much I wanted to cry. I listened to Matthew get ready for bed, the silence making me more nervous. He climbed into bed, shuffling towards me. I flinched as he wrapped an arm around me, his body pressed up against the back of mine. Who was this person? What made him act like this?

“I’m sorry darling.” he whispered in my ear.

But I didn’t feel comforted by that, or feel like I should give him forgiveness. And I realised it wouldn’t have even mattered if I did, because it kept on happening.

Smaller things started to annoy him. I would simply ask him what he was doing with his day, and receive an eye roll. He would question why I was wearing a specific outfit, who was I wearing it for? His family would try to interrogate every detail about me, and it was suspicious from the beginning. I wasn’t receiving questions such as ‘How many siblings do you have?’, ‘Do your family get on well?’, ‘Where do they live?’; I wondered if it was because everyone knew about the Peaky Blinders, but it was getting too personal. I had been an idiot to become trapped by this man, however, I wasn’t going to let them use me against my family.

Some days I didn’t know how much I could take of Matthew. I was walking on egg shells around him. I quickly learnt what not to say or ask, how the tone of my voice should be, how I should look. It didn’t matter how many times he was sweet to me, apologised, bought me presents, I didn’t recognise the man I had wanted to marry. His hand held mine tighter, his grip on my waist hurt, and our intimate moments together...everything hurt me, and he didn’t care.

“Writing a letter to a friend?” Matthew startled me from the doorway of our room.

My head whipped around to see him standing there, casually leaning against the door frame.“Yes.” I quickly replied.“Well, it’s for my aunt, Ada.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m asking how Karl is. He’s growing up so fast.”

“Mention anything about me?” 

“Of course.”

“Can I read it?”

I handed him the letter, hiding my nerves. He read through it, no expression at first until he looked at me, smirking to himself. That wasn’t a good sign.

“(Y/N), my father was in the war. He’s told me about how they got secret messages out of the trenches.” he smugly said, walking towards a set of drawers and opening the top one. He pulled out a pile of letters, the envelopes opened, and the handwriting was mine.“Being Thomas Shelby’s daughter, I had expected more from you.”

“You’ve lied to me this whole time.” I shuddered at the thought of him reading my letters, begging for someone to help me escape.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You said you were only rivals in business!”I leapt up from my chair.“I fought my family to be with you! I am such a fucking idiot!”

“Isn’t that what we are? A business at the end of the day? Look, you’re here now. We’re happy. I can make us happier once we receive our upcoming bonus.”

“What bonus?”

“The bonus of having the Shelby Company all to ourselves.”

My eyes widened, screeching out as I lunged for him. I landed a good punch to his face, but due to his size and strength, he managed to grab my attacking arms. 

“Stop now (Y/N), before you get hurt.”

That was a threat from him, not a concern I may harm myself. But for once I didn’t care. They were going after my family, I would take all the beatings for them. 

“You’re a fucking liar! A cruel, terrible, waste of space!” I screamed, pulling myself away from him.“I vowed to never become one of those poor women who had to live this life. You were in my head, and I’ll admit it, you were convincing, but I know who you really are. You’re all a bunch of sad men who feel that they need to murder, threaten and mock anyone in order to make them feel better. You’ll never be as powerful as my dad, it  just won’t happen.”

“You’ve grown naive. I did like you (Y/N), once I got a good look at you, I wasn’t angry about the plan of marrying you anymore. And I’ll admit, you’re an interesting woman, easy on the eye which helps. And how loyal you were, standing beside me in everything. Don’t be upset (Y/N), we don’t want any blood on our hands, as long as your family are cooperative. And think, you will be in charge with me once they’re gone.”

“Gone? What do you think you’re going to do with my family?!”

“Nothing. We have a meeting tomorrow, you’ll be coming, and you will convince them to hand it all over to us.”

“I won’t.”

“That wasn’t a request.” he opened one side of his blazer jacket, revealing his gun.

“I would rather die than go against them.”

“You’ve done that already. And I would rather keep your brains inside your head.”

The next morning felt colder, more bitter than it usually did here; there was even a low fog creating a tense atmosphere. Although I didn’t want to comply with Matthew, I knew I had to go to this meeting if I wanted a chance of seeing my family and keeping them alive. Running on adrenaline and anxiety alone, I forced myself to get out of bed, having to get changed under the watch of the man I thought I knew. As I did my hair in the mirror, I had a sudden realisation that I wasn’t me anymore. I looked older, years older even, even though I had only been engaged to this monster for a few months. My skin felt...unusual, not right, it didn’t feel clean. The bags under my eyes seemed to droop more and more every day, as if they were dragging down my eyes with them, and my lips were missing the feeling of a genuine smile. 

Matthew kept a hand on my back as we walked downstairs, his family waiting for us. I wasn’t scared to glare at them. They weren’t going to kill me, not yet anyway. I still had some time to live, and I was going to despise them every second. They talked as if I wasn’t there, checking their weapons and the plan. Matthew had managed to confiscate my gun, I was left with my fists.

I was in the middle of the group as we made our way to the meeting point. I knew the area now, we were headed to the back of a factory. There was a lot of noise from the machines, no one would be walking around because they would be working, and Matthew’s family had a very good deal going on with the owner; they pay him large amounts of money to keep quiet, he takes that on top of his rich salary already and keeps quiet. 

As we rounded the corner, my heart dropped when I saw just my dad standing there. Out of instinct, I started to hastily move towards him until Matthew grabbed me, gripping onto my arms to keep me in place. I felt like a little girl again, scared and needing her dad to come save her. Although dad was expressionless most of the time, I was worried that he thought I was neglecting them all these months, when really, Matthew had stopped any contact between us.

“Mr Thomas Shelby, when I said about meeting, I didn’t think it would be just yourself.” Matthew’s dad started.“But that’s fine, you’re the only one we want to speak with anyway.”

“A business meeting outside, eh?” dad said.“Why do I think this is heading in another direction?”

“Let’s just get to the point, yes? You know what we want, we’re not going to stop till we get it.”

“Of course.” dad didn’t seem bothered.

“And we’re serious. But don’t worry, there will still be a Shelby within the business once you pass it over.”

Matthew urged me forward, staying very close behind.“Dad, I’ve been trying to contact you but they wouldn’t let me! I-”

“Shut up. That’s not important.” Matthew snapped at me. 

“Don’t talk to her that way.” dad lowly said, and I recognised the warning in his voice.

Matthew wasn’t bothered.“She does as she’s told.”

“I fucking don’t!” 

I stamped on his foot with my heel, quickly getting out of his grip and turning around, managing to knee him in the head as he doubled over. Another gang member pulled me away, and I didn’t know whether he was ordered to or not, but he held a gun to my temple, his arm in a choke hold around my neck. I had tried, but it was too risky to do anything when my dad and I were clearly outnumbered. 

Despite that, dad pulled out his own gun, aiming it at the man.“Let her go.”

Matthew’s dad laughed.“I know you’ll have some of your people hiding around here somewhere. But you’ve seen the weapons we carry today, and how many of us there are. You are under prepared.”

 Dad was still for a moment, suddenly whistling. I saw the men around me tense, wondering what my dad could be summoning. As expected, more men started to appear around my dad, a much larger group, some even rounding around the back so that we were surrounded. They all held weapons of some sort; guns, knives, knuckle dusters, anything of the sort. Matthew’s dad tried to not look effected, though you could tell he was shitting himself. 

“What were you saying about no bloodshed?" I smugly said to Matthew.

He frowned at me, taking me out of the man's arms and throwing me to the floor. He got out his own gun, once again placing it on my temple.

"I don't want to shoot her. But I will if you don't go through with our deal." he stated.

My hands were scraped, blood already trickling onto the ground. But I didn't moan, I didn't complain, worried that one slight move would set him off and he would shoot.

"You will put down your weapons, give me back my daughter, turn around, and walk away." dad said."We don't want to start a war between us. Look at my men, now look at yours. You will lose, and you will lose your lives along with it."

"How dare you threaten us-"

Matthew's dad interrupted."Shut up Matthew! This doesn’t mean you’ve won Shelby.”

Dad didn’t reply, lowering his gun but the others kept their weapons on display. Matthew’s dad was waiting for a reply, and when he didn’t get one, he sharply turned away. Matthew was shocked, glancing between me and him as he wondered what to do. Although I was desperate to run to dad, I slowly made a move to stand. Matthew kept his eyes glued on me. I slid off my beautiful engagement ring, now despising it, holding it up in front of his face, and letting it drop to the ground.

“In case you were wondering, the wedding is off.” I spat, instantly turning on my heel.

My body broke out into a sprint, throwing my arms around my dad’s neck as I burst into tears. My legs went weak as he clung onto me, reassuring me that I was safe now, I wouldn’t be hurt any longer. How could I have done such a thing? I turned my back on my family for a man I should have known more about. I had to face it, I was a Shelby, and it was going to be difficult to find someone who wanted me for me, not my name.

“I’m so sorry dad!” I sobbed.“Please forgive me! I don’t want to be hated by you forever. I need you. I love you!”

He calmly shushed me, as if I was a baby again.“It’s alright, it’s alright (Y/N). I’ve got you now. You’re my daughter, I would never hate you.”

“I’m sorry! I won’t ever leave you again.”

“Come on, let’s go home, eh?”

“Please.”

“You’re my family, you always will be. I’m always going to protect you (Y/N), always.”