#peaky blinders fan fic

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Pt 6. Blood Bath

Things come to a head at Arrow House. The enemy makes their move as they have the Shelby family cornered.

Warnings: blood, graphic description of murder, panic, peaky themes

Previous Parts

Tommy watched the boy size him up, and he hated the respect he had for him. Noah cared about you more than he feared him. 

“Now before you round on me for kissing her, what are you going to do about that fucking priest.” The boy’s eyes were dark and his knuckles were white. 

So they had that conversation. 

“Need to clean this mess up first.” He answered not happy with the situation. 

“And after.” The boy pressed. 

“Haven't been in that business for a long time,” Tommy said not wanting to admit the murder he already had planned. 

“That’s still our business and -” 

“Then we’ll handle it together.” The words came out without thought. This seemed to put the boy at ease. 

“How long were you going to sleep on that?” His anger was understandable, he hated how much of himself he saw in the boy. 

“Only found out a few days ago-” The boy held up his hand. 

“Not the time to send people away. But you were going to do something about it.” Tommy gave him a nod, his patience wearing thin. This boy in his house questioning him on his love for his daughter. “Good. Sorry, Mr. Shelby.” 

Tommy cocked his head to the side slightly. 

“Just hate seeing her like that.” they both gave each other a nod. For your comfort, he let you stay in your own bed, unsurprised when he heard footsteps creaking into your room later that night.

Noah cared about you enough to be a man about the situation, and if a single kiss had you puking your guts out he felt like the danger of a pregnancy was too far away to be a concern. 

___________________________________________

You laid awake in bed thankful that Esme had looked after you throughout the afternoon. She made you some tea and broth, both helped settle your stomach but nothing helped the numbing buzz radiating through your system. Polly came through in the evening and brought you a glass of brandy. 

She had a look in her eye that told you Tommy must have mentioned what happened. She didnt say anything but mentioned she was in the room next door if you needed anything. 

Then the unthinkable, but somehow expected happened. Noah pushed your bedroom door open. He pointed to the bed and you nodded at him. 

“Will you freak out if I lay beside you?” 

“No.” You whispered back. He got into bed and you immediately made things indecent by moving up against his body. Feeling him close put the fears of him leaving at bay. 

“I’m worried you’ll break up with me.” You said softly, you were surprised you got the words out so clearly. 

“Definitely not going anywhere. As for the physical stuff, lots of time to figure it out.” 

“I don’t want you to think- like you know that I - just - erm - it’s just sort of complicated but - I do, I do want you.” Your chest closed up and swallowed in on itself like a black hole.  

“Woah, you have a thing for me? This whole time I thought we were just good friends.” He ran a hand through his hair blowing out a large breath. You swatted at him, wanting him to be serious. “I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered before kissing your temple. 

“I will figure it out.” 

“I know you will.” 

_______________________________________________

The next morning there was a severed hand tied to the gate. Johnny Dogs brought it up to the house and you caught a glimpse of the frozen hand before your dad redirected you and Noah to the downstairs to distract the children. 

“Why would they -” 

“It’s a warning, they know we are here and that they are coming,” Noah answered accepting another picture drawn by your little cousin Elena. “Thank you, darling.” He said giving her a pat on the shoulder. “It’s really good.” She looked up at him in adoration before running back to the coffee table to start on another one. 

You sunk into the couch next to him. You could feel he was tense, eyes scanning the room’s windows and doors periodically. You made up the excuse of needing the bathroom and dashed up to your room. 

Deep down you knew it was pointless, no one was going to come close enough to use it. Not to mention people used guns these days. But tucked in between your mattresses there was a large dagger. John and Esme had got it for you from a trip they took to the Highlands. You tied its case to your hip and pulled your long skirt over it. It was unnecessary but it calmed your nerves knowing you had something. 

You were on your way down the steps when Esme caught your arm. Her hair was more frazzled than usual and her eyes were wide. 

“Take Lizzie, round the kids up, and stay in the cellar.” You went back upstairs and told Lizzie. She moved very quickly, her house coat billowing behind her. She and Noah helped wrangle all the kids into the cellar. It was cold and slightly damp, but the adrenaline running through you kept you together. 

You did a head count and realized someone was missing. Elena was not here. 

“I’ll go back to grab Elena, stay here.” You told Noah who was about to protest. “I know where the rest of the hiding spots are if we can't make it back here. Just stay put.” You slipped out of the door and dashed down the hall before Lizzie could get involved. You ran downstairs looking for her everywhere. Then came back up and checked the kitchen. You were about to leave when you caught her in the corner of your eye. She was outside. 

You saw her red wool dress toddling towards a man standing at the edge of the woods. You opened the back door and felt the man's dark eyes land on you. The sounds of machine guns firing became unavoidable and you took a deep breath. 

“Elena” You called out to her thankful your voice didn’t shake. She turned around to look and you. “Come here.” She moved towards you and you got on your knee and whispered to her.

“Noah needs you in the cellar. Tell him I’m fine, that I’m hiding. Don’t stop for anyone or anything he really needs to see you.” Her little eyes lit up and she made a dash towards the house. 

You stood up and sized up your opponent. 

“Come have a walk with me.” He had a gun in his hand and you knew that it was your only option, but that didnt mean you would show it. With your head held high, you went with him. Once close enough you could see him properly. He was tall and had a large hat that shadowed his sunken face. “You want to save your family? Yes?” He had a slight accent. 

“Yeah, that’d be alright.” You said back casually, his eyes sparkled with curiosity. 

“Well, your father has something I want. You're going to help me get it.” 

“Alright.” You motioned for him to lead the way. You assumed you were a hostage, not a bad position really. He saw value in you, therefore he wouldn't kill you right away. You waited until he tucked his gun away, He took a few steps towards the forest turning his back on you. You quickly took out the dagger tucked into the top of your skirt and held it tightly. 

“The thing about your family -” Much to your relief he started his big story giving you a bit of time. Quickly to catch him off guard, you charged towards him, sending the dagger right under his left rib cage. 

________________________________________________________

Elena’s voice called on the other side of the door. Noah opened it while Finn was ready with his gun. The little girl ran in quickly hugging onto his legs. 

“She said you needed to see me.” 

“Where is she Elena,” He asked her while picking her up. She hugged onto his shoulders. “She said she's alright, she’s hiding.”

Panic shot through him and Finn quickly put a hand on his shoulder. 

“She knows where to hide here, she’s probably fine.” His jaw was tight as was the grip on his arm. Lizzie sniffed and suddenly got up. Noah looked around and did the math. Finn was most likely right, you sent Elena along and had to hide somewhere else. Going after you could put you in more danger, and it would leave Lizzie and the kids one man down. He knew that would only piss you off. 

He didn’t like it but it was a gamble he had to take. 

“She’s alright Lizzie. She mentioned earlier if she got separated she had a few places she would hide.” He lied, and Finn gave him a slight nod. Elena stayed attached to him so he held on to her and tucked the gun he was given into his waistband. Down here it was painfully silent as Lizzie kept the kids comfortable. 

“Hey, did your dad ever tell you about the time he, Tommy, and my dad got into a fight with a bear?” The kid's eyes all lit up and he sat down on a barrel and started to tell the story about the bear in the pub. 

________________________________________________________

The knife pierced his lanky body and a gasp left his mouth. Your hand slipped into his jacket quickly and you grabbed his gun. 

“You -” He said starting up again and you shot him, in the back, straight in the chest. The man's body crumpled. 

Faces of your father and the priest started to swim in your head. Anxiety ripped through you as the blood seeped into the white snow. Flipping him over you grabbed his wallet. 

“Luca Changretta” You whispered. Well, that wasn’t so bad. You looked down at the man's dark eyes and something inside you lessened. There were plenty of bad men in the world but now there was one less. You did that. 

You thought of the hand-tied to the gate and let out a sigh. If that’s how these people did things, that’s just what you would have to do. You pulled your dagger out and your hands got coated in thick blood. Moving the knife to his throat you started hacking and carving away. 

It surprised you how rubbery everything was, in your mind the stupid thing would just tople off. As you worked your mind tried to argue that this was a horrible thing you had done. But something in the pit of your stomach reminded you what horrible men were capable of. Maybe God's sense of humor is what allowed the dagger to pierce his flesh. 

Eventually, you were covered in blood and you had a head to gift back to the Italians. You ran in the snow down the hill along the side of the house. The front yard was a complete mess. The snow was red, everything was red. Your mind swam but you kept moving forward, those were your men getting shot at. 

You could see that they had made a sort of barricade and the Italians were making it down the driveway. Unsure of what to do you waited for the silence as they reloaded and let out a loud wolf whistle. You held the head up high and a roar of shouts erupted from both sides. 

Before you could take another step a large bear-like figure tackled you down from the side. You instinctively used the dagger's handle to smash into its face before your arm got caught by a massive hand.

It was Alfie, in a big fur coat, looking very pissed. 

“Sorry, Mr. Solomons” You whispered weakly, hoping you hadn't hit him too hard. 

“You're just like your father - fucking troublemaker.” He grumbled keeping his body over yours as bullets rang out. “Take his head and run down the hill. Not go in through the back door, come out the front door, and give the head to us? Eh?” 

“No class with you people. Straight savagery every time.” he continued to chatter on and it was nice to have something distracting you. The snow was deep enough that if they didnt move they were probably out of vision. He moved up slightly to look over the snow. 

“Looks like you gave them the distraction they needed though, chasing them down the drive.” He let out a rumbling sigh. 

“So, you were going to run down the hill causing a distraction?” You asked him, he looked down at you and narrowed his eyes. 

“That’s business between me and your father.” He said in a low voice. There was a long silence and Alfie still kept you there. Your teeth started to chatter and you realized your hand was still fisted in Luca’s black hair. 

“Nah, don’t start thinking about it. I don’t know how you did it but wait for a glass of whiskey. Trust me you'll be alright.” 

You gave him a nod hoping he wasn't angry. Then your father pulled him off of you and picked you up. He crushed you against himself  and you wondered how he could still carry you despite your size. You closed your eyes not ready to deal with everything yet. 

He got you onto the couch in his study and tried to take the head away from you. It took you a long moment to realize you could let go now. You took a deep breath untangling your fingers. Tommy’s hands ran over you before a loud scream erupted. Esme was there with a look of horror on her face. Polly soon followed. 

Various questions were flying around you their hands trying to push your hair back and get the blood off your face. 

“Sorry.” You mumbled eyes locked on Tommy. “His body was too big to drag in the snow.” It seemed significant to apologize as you got blood all over the sofa. 

“Eh, knew that knife was a good gift,” John mumbled picking the knife up off the sofa beside you.

“Hacked his head off, all by herself. They grow up so fast.” Arthur boomed looking at you with pride in his eyes. Esme gave them both a murderous look and suddenly they followed Alfie out of the study. 

Polly locked eyes with Tommy who was kneeling directly in front of you. After one last look, he gave her a nod. He squeezed your hand and stood up. Polly and Esme led you up the stairs and guided you into your parent’s bathroom. It was larger than yours, but the blood smearing all over the white tiles made your stomach flutter. They sat you down on the lid of the toilet. 

The warm air stung your skin and your lungs. When the door pushed open you felt your body get swallowed up in hot guilt. Lizzie looked positively feral. Her arms wrapped around you, your mind thawed out and tears started to form.

After a long while, she took a few deep breaths before helping you into a bath. First, you showered with warm-ish water to get the blood off and to get your limbs back to a normal temperature. By that point, Polly had come back with her arms full of herbs and oils. 

You sat in the bathtub and she poured various things over you. The scent stung your eyes but you felt your heart lurch then become lighter somehow.  

“How are the kids? Noah?” You finally whispered. 

“Surprisingly, only a few minor injuries in the men, and everyone in the house was fine,” Esme answered while Lizzie gazed at the tiles on the wall. Her hand was on her belly and you could tell by the set in her jaw she was angry with Thomas. 

_______________________________________________

Once you were cleaned up Lizzie got you tucked into your bed. 

“I told everyone you need to rest. We can deal with everything in the morning.” She kissed your forehead and ran a hand through your hair. She left and the sadness and anger that radiated off of her brought in a fresh wave of uncertainty and anxiety. 

Tommy came in a short while after. He sat on the edge of your bed looking into the fire. 

“You have any questions or things bothering you?” He asked in a faraway voice. 

“No, I feel a bit better honestly.” You sighed and his gaze flicked to you. “Spent a lot of time running from men like that. Now I don’t feel so helpless. Plus I think that was the last of the past coming back for you. Alfie didn’t sell you out. Things on my side are looking pretty good.” 

He gave you a hard look and then nodded. You knew he was dreading talking to Lizzie. 

“Dad, I shouldn't have landed that blow. It was beyond lucky, I think it was just what was supposed to happen. Elena had been lost, he was going to snatch her up, probably in exchange for John. I sent her back and he was happier with me anyway. The whole thing was lucky.” He took in what you were saying and you knew he didnt know how to respond. 

“Please make her understand it wasn't your fault, If you could blame anyone blame Elena for wanting snacks from the kitchen, but she’s five, and me and Esme will fight you.” You took a few breaths but it was getting hard to breathe again. “She’s got to understand, all of us need to stick together.” Tommy put down his glass of whiskey on your side table and put his hands on your shoulders. “That’s why everything worked out all right - it’s because we stuck together- if you guys break up-” You couldn't talk anymore, your body got light and heavy at the same time, and your vision started to get blurry. 

“Stop.” He commanded and you took a deep breath. “It will take a lot more than Lizzie’s anger to tear us apart. Trust me, I don't give up that easy.” 

You nodded and he pushed you down into your bed. You curled up on your side holding his hand. 

“It’s like with the storm, I needed to face this.”

He gave you a nod and kissed the top of your forehead. “Drink this if you can’t sleep.” He left his whiskey on the side table. “Come get me if you need anything.” 

With that, he got up and left your door slightly ajar. 

______________________________________________________________

He didn’t like what he did next. But he knew it would keep your mind off of things and put the boy out of his misery. He knocked on the door and waited for Noah to respond. 

He opened the door and could see that he had been pacing, much like himself. 

“She’s alright, bit fragile though.” He said watching the boy muster up the courage to ask the question Tommy knew he was struggling with. “If you wouldn't mind staying with her, I think it might help.” Tommy saw the boy light up but quickly composed himself. 

“I could do that.” He said calmly. 

“No messing around.” He said sternly before giving the boy a nod and leaving the room to go fight some more battles. 

Lizzie was rummaging through her closet and Tommy realized this was probably a lot worse than he realized. He sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her to start up when he heard her give a shout. 

“Stupid fucking -” He saw her trying to reach a box high on the shelf. Part of him wanted to leave it there, so she couldn't pack it, and maybe it would prevent her from trying to leave. He sighed looking up at the box. 

“You're a lot of things- short is one of them” She bit out crossing her arms. He pulled the stool out of the corner and he grabbed the box for her. She accepted the box and started rummaging through the folded clothes. “She could have died.” 

“I know.” 

“That’s it, you know, and what!?” 

“And she didn’t. She saved Elena. She outsmarted Luca and tried to protect her family. I’m not happy about it, but I am grateful she’s alright.” 

“Thomas - she's 17 - it was a blood bath, in no way is she alright.” Lizzie snapped. 

“She said she needed to face this, she’s run from men like that her whole life. I don’t like it, I feel like I failed her every time she opens up about her past, when she was there covered in blood, I knew I failed her. But you leaving right now will be what kills her.” He knew it was underhanded and mean. 

“Leaving?!” Her eyes narrowed and Tommy was grateful that the box didnt have anything hard or dangerous in it. She threw a yellow nightgown at him. “YOU THINK AFTER EVERYTHING I WOULD LEAVE HER HERE WITH YOU.” She started to rage and she almost tripped over another pile of clothes on the closet floor. He stedied her and shut the door hoping it concealed some of the anger. 

She held on to him and tried to catch her breath. 

“Well, your tearing the closet apart, I thought -” 

“You, as always, thought wrong, stupid man.” She kept her slender fingers gripping his shoulder and he wondered what was going to happen next. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. “I’m too fat.” 

Tommy was glad he rarely smiled or laughed, in that moment he knew that either of those things would have been a deadly mistake. 

“I can’t fit my nightgowns anymore, the maternity ones I have remind me of Ruby.” Her voice broke and he pulled her into his arms. They stood like that for a long while. He ran his hand up and down her back, realizing if not for Ruby, he may never have been this lucky and blessed in his life. In the end, he was very sure that it was always Lizzie. She fought him every step of the way, but at the same time that also meant she chose him every single time. 

He guided her to the bed and pulled out one of his long sleep shirts. It was broad and baggy, and would easily cover her frame and the ever-growing bump, long enough for him to order her some new maternity gowns. She let him undress her, then slid the cotton shirt over her head. 

“I am sorry - for everything.” 

“I know you are.” She said softly. “Thank you, for keeping the family safe.” He didnt know how to respond to that so he gave her a kiss. They settled into bed and he turned the lights out. For a moment he thought he might finally drift to sleep when Lizzie opened her mouth. 

“So the bear in the pub huh?” Tommy let out a groan.

“Where did you hear about that?” 

“Noah, he told the kids the story to keep them quiet. He’s really good with children, I think if Elena was a bit old she would try to challenge her for him.” 

“Fucking boy.” Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose wondering why out of all the other 17-year-olds on the planet you had to pick that one. 

_________________________________

You closed your eyes and felt good that there was nothing but darkness. No men, no blood, just an empty void. It only lasted a few moments before you heard Lizzie's muffled shouting. Your stomach rolled and you opened your eyes to look around your bedroom. The fire gave everything an inviting glow, it truly felt like your piece of the world. The thought of it being torn apart made you want to cry. 

A soft tap at the door made you jump. You poked your head out of your blankets to see Noah. He forgot himself for a moment and dashed towards you. He wrapped you up into his arms and you fell back against the bed. You had a moment of initial shock before you sought out his mouth. You kissed him hard, and you felt his hands stay firmly in place on your back. 

He broke the kiss and stood up moving off the bed. His face was flushed and his hair was a mess of curls. More than anything you wanted him to come back, you wanted his hands all over you. Remembering what it was like pushing him off of yourself to vomit made you calm down a bit. You knew you needed to move slowly, no matter how much you hated it. It wasn't fair to Noah. 

“Sorry - I promised your dad I wouldn't mess around.” He took a deep breath looking at the ceiling. 

“My dad sent you.” Your eyebrows knitted together. 

“Yeah, didnt want you to be alone.” He came back to you and you moved over as he climbed into bed. 

“Actually?” 

“Yeah, he looked really worried. Don’t want to push him any further today.” He said tucking in next to you. Your body felt like it was on fire as he ran a hand through your hair. “Why are their flowers stuck in your hair?” 

“Oh, Polly gave me a bath to make sure I wasn't traumatized or haunted.” 

“Oh yeah.” He gave a nod and you let out a soft laugh at his expression of confusion.

“Guess your family doesn't do that.” 

“No, not really. Lot’s to learn about.” 

“Likewise. Mum said you really helped keep the kids distracted. Thanks for doing that.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I didnt go after you, Finn said you would know where to hide. Isaiah came later and said he thought you were with Polly and Esme” His arms tightened his grip on you and you fought to keep your heart in check. 

“Knowing they were safe with you made it easier to deal with the situation.” 

“It’s over - never again, I’m - I’ll figure out a way to keep you from everything.” 

“What do you mean?” There was an edge to your words. 

“We - I can’t go through that again.” His voice was heavy. “I need to sort out with my dad how to clean things up on our side.” 

“Meaning you want things to be more legal?” The edge had turned to straight panic at the thought of him leaving. 

“Yes, for myself, but also because your dad is right. He fought really hard to get things clean. He even sent your uncles to prison once. I won’t take you back into that place. All of them would come after you. Won’t bring everything he built toppling down. Not when you could get hurt” 

His face finally looked down to meet yours. He must have seen the anxiety eating you. 

“What I’m saying is, I want to do good things with my life, and I want to build you something good too. Because - I - I love you.” You started up at him in disbelief. 

“I love you too.” You breathed. 

It took a long time to fall asleep, but eventually, you drifted off in his arms. At some point, the morning began as light poured in through your windows. Esme poked her face in and you met her eyes. She gave you a thumbs-up and a wink before shutting the door. 

You relised then that the rain was thundering on the roof. A sadness filled your chest, but insdead of dealing with it, you pressed your face against his neck and went back to sleep.

[peakyblindas]

Mother’s instinct.

Back at it again with Fawn and Tommy being toxic.

Taglist: @zablife @evita-shelby (Let me know if you want to be added/removed)

Fawn walked with her head up high and her back straight, with each step her heels clicked on the polished wooden floor. She swore she would never visit Tommy at his office at the house lords, but sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. 

The door had his name on it, a wooden plaque with gold lettering reading ‘T. Shelby, M.P’ she glanced at his rather confused secretary. 

“He in?” She asked, not waiting for an answer before putting her hand on the door knob.

“You can’t just-”

She walked inside, ignoring the protests of the girl, she was pretty, and she assumed that must be why Tommy kept her around.

The door slammed shut behind her, the wind causing the stack of papers Tommy had been reading to rustle, he looked up and behind his glasses his eyes widened.

“Mrs. Dormer."He smoothly took the glasses off and held them in his left hand, sarcasm dripping from his tongue with such a potency Fawn was surprised it didn’t leave a puddle on the desk. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“If you ever use my daughter as a pawn again.”

With each word she stomped towards the desk, until she was in front of it, looming over him.

“I will cut you, Thomas.”

It was easy to forget who she used to be, Easy to look at the now middle aged happily married Mother of four in her fur coat and glossy leather heels and forget that once upon a time Fawn O’Hart was whispered about.

Tommy Shelby’s top girl, a peaky blinder.

Tommy met her gaze, She expected anger to be contained within his blue orbs, but instead he looked amused, proud even.

She wasn’t a blinder anymore, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t dangerous.

It also meant she didn’t work for Thomas Fucking Shelby anymore.

“I thought Dot was our daughter.”

He lazily spun his glasses by the arm.

“She is.” Fawn put her hands on the desk, open palms spread against the cool wood “But if you use her in whatever scheme you have going on with Mosely again, You lose that privilege and Charlie will become an orphan.”

“Bold words, Fi..” he chuckled and set his glasses on the desk “Once upon a time I would’ve believed ‘em.”

She swept her hands across the desk, the papers, books and everything else on the surface clattered to the floor.

“I mean it, never again.”

She turned on her heel and was mid step back to the door when he spoke again

“You're going insane cooped up in that house with your husband..” There was the dragging of his chair as he stood up “Forgetting what you are.”

The phrase made her feel ice cold.

“You didn’t come here for Dottie..” 

She felt his presence behind her, she could smell his cigarettes. 

“You came here to make sure I hadn’t forgotten you.”

His next words were right in her ear and she recoiled from the sudden closeless

“That I hadn’t forgotten I own you.”

She turned and punched him, right in the gut, he jolted as all the air escaped from his mouth in a hiss.

“I belong to no one, and certainly not to you, Shelby.” 

[ijustwant2write]

The Shy Bride-Bonnie Gold x Shelby!Reader

(GIF credit to @chimestims)

MASTERLIST

Requested by anonymous: 'Can you do a Bonnie gold fic where the reader is a Shelby and he has to marry her for a business deal and they end up getting to know each other even tho the reader is all shy and innocent and doesn't really like anyone that isn't family and the golds love her'

Characters: Bonnie Gold x Shelby!Reader, Shelby family x Shelby!Reader, Aberama Gold x Reader (in-laws), Esmeralda Gold x Shelby!Reader (in-laws)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Arranged marriage, swearing, shouting/arguing, sadness, drinking, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I returned home, I eyed up the beautiful dress hanging over the kitchen door, feeling the fabric and admiring it. I had never seen this dress before but it was gorgeous, an extravagant evening gown that every girl would be envious of. But why was it hanging up in Pol's kitchen?

"Pol, who's this dress for?" I asked.

"Would be nice if you greeted me first."

"Sorry, got distracted."

Polly smiled, but it didn't seem genuine."It's for you actually. A gift from Tommy."

"For me? Why is Tommy buying me dresses? He's got good taste actually."

"For a special occasion apparently. We're going out somewhere this afternoon."

"Oh, where?"

"I don't know (Y/N)." there was a slight snap in her tone, but I assumed she was annoyed by my questions."Sorry, just got a lot to do."

"Need help with anything?"

"No, I can handle it. Why don't you start getting ready?"

"Alright, as long as you're sure."

I brushed off Polly's behaviour. My family could have terrible mood swings at times. I understood why, we were in a gang, life could never be simple and sweet. Taking the dress, I quietly squealed to myself, excited to try it on and get myself dolled up. We must have been going somewhere really fancy, probably just to show our faces, show that Tommy was a real family man to benefit the legitimate side of business, give him a good image.

Luckily I had shoes and accessories to match the dress, spending time on how to style my hair and what lipstick to wear. I was never one to boast, but I looked lovely in this outfit. I didn't even question where we could be going or who we would be meeting, not if Tommy was going to buy me a special outfit for each occasion. Headed downstairs when I heard my brother's voices, I was surprised to see them all waiting in the hallway, dressed in their finest suits, and Polly also in one or her best dresses.

"Oh, sorry, am I making us late?"

"No, not at all." Tommy smiled, which was rare. It made me slightly nervous.

"Right. Um, when are we leaving?"

"Might as well head out now. Come on."

Tommy took the lead, walking out of the door, Arthur followed with his head down, whereas John looked at me a little longer, seeming angry. Polly had to nudge him to make him move. Once he walked outside, she held her hand out to me, giving me the same smile from earlier. Either something was going on that I didn't know about or they had just had an argument.

"Pol, me and (Y/N) are going to share a car. The rest of you in the other one." Tommy informed her.

Pol didn't even try arguing back. She squeezed my hand before getting into the car in front of us. Tommy had brought two chauffeurs, he didn't drive as much as he used to now. I wondered why he didn't just meet us at the place we were going to instead of driving all the way here, though I supposed it was for another photo opportunity.

Nothing was said as we set off, both of us just looking out of the window, watching the landscape around us change. My head turned to look at him as he started taking.

"(Y/N), do you know where we're going?"

"No, Pol didn't say anything."

"Good. Right, uh...This is to do with business."

"Oh, OK. Is it the usual, stay with you for a bit then mingle with Polly or the boys whilst you get on with business?"

"No, nothing like that. It actually involves you."

My heart rate had already increased."Me? What? Am I in danger?"

"You're perfectly safe. You're actually going to be even safer after today."

"Can you just tell me what's happening Tommy? The nerves are making me breathe funny."

"I...I had to arrange something."

"Arrange?" I let out a laugh as a thought came into my head."You're not marrying me off are you?"

He didn't reply.

"Oh my god, you are marrying me off!"

"If I told you before, you wouldn't have come."

"Of course I wouldn't! Who am I marrying? Why am I marrying them? Tommy, how could you do this to me?!"

I placed a hand over my chest, feeling like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, my lungs were so tight, I couldn't breathe properly.

"(Y/N), calm down, breathe."

"How can I? You're selling me, you're making me live the rest of my life with a stranger!"

"They're not a stranger."

"Who is it then?"

"It's Bonnie Gold."

"BONNIE GOLD?!"

This was so random. Why was I marrying him? I didn't know him, all I knew about him was how he and his family were now helping protect ours. Tommy also got him a boxing deal, but what did that have to do with me? Why was I being forced to do something? It was just like John all over again.

"It was part of a deal."

"A deal you didn't think to ask my opinion on?"

"Would you have said yes?"

"No!" I tried to steady my breathing but nothing was working."Oh my god, oh my god, I'm getting married to someone I don't know."

"You do know him."

"Not well enough to marry him! We've never even said hello to each other! I think I'm going to be sick. Pull over, please!"

The driver did what I asked, and I immediately jumped out. My legs began walking along the road, I didn't even think about it. Tears were welling up in my eyes over my brother's betrayal. What had I done to deserve this? John needed a wife, he had loads of kids that needed looking after, they worked. What if me and Bonnie didn't? What if he was actually a horrible person? Tommy didn't know him as well as he thought he did, they could be hiding anything.

"(Y/N), get back in the car please."

"No! Why am I getting married for a deal? I'm not out of control, I'm not rowdy, I do what I'm told all the time and I'm nice to everyone! And this is what I get for following the rules, your rules?"

"I wouldn't let you two marry if I thought he would hurt you. Bonnie is going to treat you well (Y/N), I know he is."

"Am I going to have to live in a wagon?!"

His head tilted back as he sighed."Fuck me. No, you're not, you'll be living in a house."

"I can't do it, Tommy, I can't, I really can't do this."

"You have to, I have to keep my end of the bargain."

"Do you know how angry I am with you?!"

"I think so."

There were so many things I wanted to scream at him. Who else knew? Why did they let him do it? Who's idea was it in the first place? I couldn't though. My breathing was out of control, my eyes were stinging with tears, and loud sobs were coming out of my mouth.

Tommy gently put his hands on my shoulders, making me stand up straight."We do things for this family, yeah? We go through hardships to make our family stronger. And I'm asking you (Y/N), please go along with this. If we can keep an alliance with the Gold's, it will only bring us good. I wouldn't ask you if I was desperate or if I didn't think you could do it."

I contemplated running away there and then. However, I wasn't going to get far in these shoes. Home was too far away by now, the roads weren't clear and if anyone recognised me, I could be dead within hours.

"I really have to do this, don't I?"

Tommy nodded, cautiously wrapping an arm around me to slowly take us back to the car. For the rest of the drive I hung my head, staring at the pretty shoes I had picked for today. This was it. I was getting married. Married to a man I had only seen but never talked to, married to a man to settle a deal. My brother, who I trusted and loved, had thrown me to the dogs, not even glancing back to face the consequences of his actions; it was all to benefit him.

We pulled up at Tommy's house. He explained that since this was a quick arrangement it was easier to hold the ceremony there, it was more personal, they knew it was safe. My stomach cramped up as I stepped inside, spotting the bouquet of flowers everywhere. They even fucking decorated. Ada and Polly were at the entrance, both looking as pissed off as I was. Unfortunately, Ada held my own bouquet in her hands.

"You can't do this Tom. Just cancel it, go in there and say the wedding is off. She's just a girl." Ada spat.

"Ada." Polly warned.

"You can't go along with this Pol. She's being forced into a marriage!"

Tommy cleared his throat."Ada, Pol, please take your seats."

"Hold on," Pol pulled out her powder box from her purse, dabbing the brush on my face,"need that beautiful face of yours back."

I knew she was trying to cheer me up, and clean me up so I would look like such a mess. It would all just stream off my face later. My hands shook as I held the flowers, the petals and leaves slightly rustling. Polly and Ada left hesitantly, shushing everyone in the hall where I assumed the ceremony was taking place.

"Are you going to be sick?" Tommy asked.

"Not sure." I whispered.

"Just know that I hate this too. I wouldn't-"

"Shut up Tommy."

I never snapped at Tommy, or anyone really. But this called for it. I could have called him every nasty name under the sun there and then. When he held out his arm for me, I reluctantly took it, wishing I could sprint to the stables to steal a horse, ride off into the sunset. But it was too late, because the doors to the hall opened, and there everyone stood, watching intently as I walked down the aisle. I didn't even have a proper wedding dress.

It felt like I had never worn heels before, I was wobbling all over the place. Bonnie looked miles away, though I was beside him in seconds. His family were here, my family sat on the opposite side. Tommy gingerly pressed a kiss to my cheek before going to sit down. And here I was, stood next to my soon to be husband. He kindly smiled at me, though I couldn't bear to even look at him, eyes flickering away. I stared at Jeremiah who was officiating the wedding, the poor man must have thought I was evil the way I was looking at him.

The ceremony felt muffled, as if I couldn't hear anything properly. Jeremiah waffled on, until we had to say our vows and exchange the rings. I focused so much on his words to not get them wrong, only realising that after we had said them to each other, that was it, we were now married.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Jeremiah announced.

Both our families clapped to fill the silence. Bonnie leaned down but I retracted out of instinct. He halted before moving again, slower this time, to kiss my cheek. Taking my hand in his, he walked us out of the hall, the doors closing behind us. I let out a shocked breath, looking at the ring on my finger. Bonnie went to speak.

"So, I-"

I snatched my hand out of his, scurrying to the kitchen to find a bottle of wine. I needed a drink, and a lot of it. I also wanted to get out of any awkward conversations that were about to ensue. There was way too much going on right now to start small talk.

Unfortunately he had followed me, watching as I popped open a bottle. I glanced at the glass in my hand, deciding to set it down and drink from the bottle.

"I'm not that bad am I?" Bonnie tried to joke.

I didn't say anything, leaning back against the counter.

"Look, I'm sorry this has happened. We don't know each other, back in there was the first time we've spoken, it's a lot. But I want you to know that I'm going to look after you. We'll go at your pace, whatever you're comfortable with. I want us to be friends at least."

He sounds genuine. When Bonnie first joined the Peaky Blinders, he hadn't been overly cocky like some of the others. Of course he was a bit more boastful when it came to the ring, though that was all part of his image. And he was the only peaky boy to not try it on with me. Ironic.

"Sorry for just going in for the kiss too. I thought a small peck wouldn't hurt."

"It's fine." I mumbled, casting my eyes to the floor.

He took a few seconds before speaking again."Never been much of a wine person."

I looked up at him as he stood opposite to me, also leaning back in a countertop.

"Suppose that could change." he held out his hand for the bottle, indicating that I pass it over.

He took a swig, scrunching up his face and coughing after. The corner of my mouth twitched at how silly he looked, but didn't show him that.

"God, that is so sweet. How do you chug it back?"

"I don't usually." I squeaked out."Just...just flet like I needed to."

He passed the bottle back to me."I won't lie, I don't exactly want my new wife to be drunk on our first night together."

My eyes widened.

"No, not like that! Nothing is going to happen. I just meant, I would like to use this time to get to know you."

I was being stubborn. I wanted to go against him, just to spite Tommy. But I was too shy, I couldn't even hold eye contact with him.

"I'll leave you alone for a bit. But please come up to the party, my family can't wait to meet you." he made his way to the door, stopping and turning around."You look beautiful tonight."

I didn't let him see me blush, turning away as I drank more from the bottle. I hated how easily I was embarrassed. Boys tried flirting with me, though I knew that was because they wanted to say they had shagged a Shelby girl. Of course I knew their intentions, hence why I was still a virgin.

After a few more swigs, I knew I had to go back upstairs. Setting the almost finished bottle aside, I took a deep breath, adjusting the bottom of my dress, checking my face in a mirror before heading to see my family and new in-laws.

When I returned, everyone was gathered in the lavish front room. Music was playing, champagne was being handed out, and everyone seemed relatively happy chatting with one another. Finn, John and Adawere the only ones not mingling, scowling faces on them as they observed the others.

"(Y/N)," a man caught my attention, it was Bonnie's father,"welcome to the family."

I politely smiled."Thank you sir."

"Call me Aberama. I appreciate the manners though. And I understand you're not entirely happy with this marriage."

I glanced away from him."But believe me when I say that Bonnie has been just as nervous. Although he is also very determined to ensure you are comfortable and feel like a part of the family."

That was nice, I guess.

"He has multiple sisters who you might find easier to talk to rather than an old man."

He raised his drink to me, smiling as he walked away. I really didn't want to talk to anyone, scurrying to my three siblings who were most against this arrangement.

"You alright?" Finn draped his arm around my shoulders, and I quickly hugged him, clinging on.

I shook my head no.

"Of course she isn't. This is all a big mistake, we should have come up with a plan to get her out of here." Ada huffed.

John scoffed."Oh yeah, that would have gone down a treat with both families."

"You were just as much against it all as we were."

"No one was for this marriage, well, besides Tom. But it's done now, innit? I'll just have to keep a special eye on the new in-law."

"Can we stop talking about it please? Just talk about anything else." I asked quietly, realising some of the others were looking over at us, and that made me incredibly nervous.

Before we even had a chance to change the topic, someone from Bonnie's side of the family made her way over. I looked anywhere but her, until she was stood beside me. She was beautiful, probably around the same age as myself, though her confidence gave her a more mature look.

"I thought I would come over and introduce myself. I'm Esmeralda, one of Bonnie's sisters."

"Nice to meet you."

Get a grip woman.

"There's actually three of us, sisters I mean. Poor Bonnie didn't have any brothers to rough around with. Though I suppose it is only you and Ada amongst all these men."

Ada smiled at her, though you could tell it was out of sarcasm. I cringed, hoping Esmeralda hadn't seen that.

"I was wondering if you wanted to join us?" she gestured to where her other sisters were, who waved.

"Um, yes."

It sounded more like a question, but Esmeralda took that answer. I worriedly looked back to my own siblings, annoyed at my politeness. Where was my Shelby fire?

I sat by Esmeralda, the others sitting across from us. She instantly started up a conversation, it was easy to see she was fine around strangers. I only wished to half as confident as her. Her sisters also chimed in now and then, trying to involve me in the conversation. There was no talk about the wedding, just typical girly things; dresses, makeup, dances, they even spoke about their traditions. It slowly moved onto the topic of Bonnie, though past stories about him, tales of how he was as a child. I even managed to break out a smile.

"And obviously we'll all be getting to know each other a bit better once we're all moved in together." Esmeralda exclaimed.

"S-sorry?"

Esmeralda and her sisters held a serious look, bursting out laughing a second later. I was confused, had I missed a joke?

"Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood. Of course we're not living with you two!"

"I don't even know where we're living."

"Well, neither do we, but I'm sure your brother has sorted it."

"Yeah..."

"Sorry, have I upset you?"

"No! No, I'm fine." I was tempted to excuse myself, but I went against that. I was going to be social."So, is there abythibg else I should know about Bonnie?"

Perhaps this was my way of getting to know my husband without actually talking to him. Even if it was a subconscious thing, I was getting information about him. And there didn't seem to be a bad bone in his body unless he was in the ring, or defending his sisters from a man who had disrespected them, though that was more chivalrous.

"Sorry ladies, may I borrow my sister?" Tommy asked, gesturing for me to follow him.

I smiled at the girls, catching up with my brother who was making his way to his office, grabbing Bonnie on the way. I faltered when he stepped in line with me, not used to having a boy so close to me. Bonnie let me go first into the office, closing the door behind him. Tom nodded his head towards the two chairs at the desk, sitting behind it. We sat down, waiting to hear why he had brought us here.

"So, seeing as you two are married now, you'll be needing a place of your own." Tommy started."And I have provided that for you."

"No, Tommy, we couldn't accept that." I protested, feeling awkward about situations involving money.

"I agree Mr Shelby, that's way too generous. You already let us get married in your house."

"It's my fault you two are married right now. And I just hope that I can gain back some trust and..." he glanced at me,"love, by doing this."

I picked at the skin around my nails, a bad habit."Are you sure Tommy? Nothing too big right?"

"No. It's a new build but out in the country. You also have a big patch of land, I thought you might appreciate that Bonnie. It's secluded, like this. Three bedrooms, kitchen, front room, all the other shit."

"Thank you very much Mr Shelby." Bonnie stood, reaching out his hand.

Tommy shook it, no expression on his face.

"Thanks Tom. I guess it's a start to your apology."

I felt guilty for saying that, but I wanted it to sting. He had really hurt me today, I wasn't going to fall to his feet because he bought me a house.

Tommy then informed us that it was time for us to leave. He had one of his chauffeurs waiting, and everyone had followed us outside. They had rice to throw at us as we went to the car. In a way, I appreciated the effort they were putting in to make it seem like a happy occasion, I also found it demeaning. You're now being forced to marry a man you don't know, but here's a pretty dress and some champagne.

"I don't have anything with me." I pointed out before I got in the car.

Polly stepped forward, quietly speaking so no one else would hear."Tommy made Ada pack some of your things before she came here. Obviously she didn't want to, but you need your clothes at least. I'll be round with the rest of it soon love."

Wow, they weren't waiting around to get rid of me. Sadly getting into the car, I didn't even acknowledge Bonnie as he opened and closed the door for me. Once Bonnie was inside the car, the chauffeur drove off. I coukd hear our families cheering for us, I didn't bother looking back, whereas Bonnie was waving.

"You alright?" he asked softly.

I nodded, pressing my lips together as I looked away, trying to hold back my tears. Thankfully he left it at that, he knew I needed time to process everything.

The house Tommy got us was no where near the size of his, though I didn't want that. It was still big for two people, and despite it being a new house, it had an old fashioned look to it. It had the feel of a farm house without the barn, different stones making the structure with vines growing all over it. I loved it, which was irritating because Tommy knew me so well.

"This is going to be strange." Bonnie said as he helped the chauffeur with the bags."Never lived in a house before."

"Oh...hope you like it."

It was a wonder why I never had a boyfriend.

I had wished that the chaffuer had taken more time with the bags. Because Bonnie was a gentleman, he insisted helping, and the task was completed far too quickly. Now it was just me and Bonnie, in our house, our house we loved in together as a married couple.

"Shall we take a look around? See what's actually in our house?"

Bless him, he was trying so hard. I agreed, letting him lead as we checked each room. It was all furnished, there was even some food in the kitchen, soap and towels in the bathroom, any little things we wouldn't have packed with us were provided. He was in awe of the place, I knew he was used to travelling to different places, it was just strange to see his expressions over a house.

"Your brother is very generous."

"Yes, though I know why he's given this to us."

"To make up for marrying me?"

"No, well yes, but not in the way you said. Sorry Bonnie, you must think I'm horrible. It's just...I'm really shy around new people, it took so much energy out of me talking to everyone today, not to mention the actual ceremony itself. I probably would have fainted if I wasn't concentrating on acting normal."

"I didn't think you were horrible. I knew you were scared. I'm afraid your acting skills need some work."

We had walked into one of the bedrooms as we spoke, my stomach dropping again. Was I going to have to share a bed with him? I had never done that before.

"Choose which room you like. I'll sleep in another." he said.

"Hm?"

"I'm not going to sleep in the same room as you, I wouldn't put you under that pressure."

"Oh, thank you. Then, you should choose."

He smiled at me."Fine, then I choose you having the master bedroom, and I shall go see what other room I prefer."

I managed to smile back, bashful over how sweet he was being. That was a huge relief lifted off my chest. If he hadn't mentioned anything before bedtime, I wouldn't have said anything, I didn't want to bring up topic.

We both got changed (separately) into something comfier, weirdly emerging from our rooms at the same time. Deciding it was time to eat, we rummaged through the kitchen cabinets to see what we could muster up. I took charge, seeing as Bonnie had only ever cooked over a fireplace.

"Sorry it's not much, it's bits and pieces really." I set his plate down in front of him, thinking how much of a wife I looked right now.

"Thank you. Don't worry, I'm sure it will be delicious. We can go shopping for food tomorrow if you want?"

That's what couples do.

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

We kept to our food, eating in silence. I tried to eat as quickly as I could, wanting this dreadful tension to lift and be over with. I felt terrible because he was trying so hard to be a good husband to me already, or just a good friend really. And here I was, not even able to eat a meal with him, he must have been dreading the rest of his life with me.

As he finished, I quickly stood to clear everything away, already starting to clean up as he protested. We still had a whole evening ahead of us, what were we supposed to do? I caught him moving in my peripheral vision, grabbing two wine glasses and the bottle of champagne gifted to us. He held them up to me.

"Fancy sharing a bottle?"

We were sat in the front room on opposite ends of the sofa, the lit fireplace crackling in front of us. Bonnie was casually facing me whilst I stared into the flames.

"You surprised me you know, when I first saw you." he said.

"What do you mean?"

"When I first joined the blinders, I remember seeing you, and I obviously thought 'wow, she's gorgeous', though I knew to stay away."

There I went, blushing again.

"But you weren't like your family. You weren't harsh or outspoken, you were so quiet. I've seen you around your family, I know you are different with them, and I get that I'm a complete stranger to you so it will be different. I just hadn't expected a Shelby to be so....reclusive."

"A lot of people say that."

"That wasn't me saying it's a bad thing by the way!"

"It is a bad thing when you're a Shelby. I'm not trusted to do anything within the business. This is the first time they've used me. And they didn't even ask."

"That's a good thing though, isn't it? About not being involved in the business?"

"I guess."

"Let's talk about something else, eh? Uh, why don't you tell me...your favourite colour?"

"Favourite colour? Really?"

He laughed."I need to get to know my wife don't I?"

Although I had been answering his basic questions terribly (and boringly, I was just giving one word answers), Bonnie somehow made me open up to him. Not about anything deep or meaningful, just generic facts about my life; what I enjoy doing, funny anecdotes from my childhood, what I liked to do when I went out with friends. In turn, I began asking him questions. We were talking for hours, but we didn't realise that until I happened to glance at the clock on the mantelpiece.

The next week still felt awkward. We slept in our separate rooms, trying to work our different routines to fit each other. Although we were able to talk to each other for more than two minutes, I was always trying to figure out what to talk about next. I didn't want to be in a situation where we were stuck on what to say, I hated that. Looking back on it, I had never spoken to someone so much or so freely besides my family and my small handful of friends.

Both of our families came to visit us. Polly and Ada stayed for a day, mostly catching up but also helping me make the house feel more homely. Aberama only came some mornings to get Bonnie, doing whatever work for my brother, though he always made sure to say hello. Bonnie was gone for a majority of the day, luckily I liked being by myself. Surprisingly, Esmeralda also came for a visit.

"Lovely flowers." she pointed out as we sat in the kitchen, each with a cup of tea.

"Bonnie got them for me."

"Did he?" she smirked."He's a sweetheart isn't he?"

I couldn't help but shyly smile."Yes, it was a lovely gesture."

"A romantic gesture. He may be a tough man and a fighter but he's a big sofite really."

I hummed in agreement.

"Are you alright? How have you two been over the last month?"

I wanted to say that although I did like Bonnie, I knew I was lucky to be in an arranged marriage with him and not some fifty year old, slimy man, I didn't want her to get excited at the thought we might already be in love.

"I won't lie, it's been slow. That's not to say I don't enjoy Bonnie's company, it's just...everyday when I wake up, I still get a little confused at the ring on my finger, then in a second I remember I'm married."

"Yeah, that's never going to be something you can easily forget I guess."

"And I'm not being rude about your brother. Bonnie has been amazing, he's kept his boundaries, made sure I felt respected. But, your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Choosing your dress, what hair and makeup you want, the venue, the cake, it's all part of it. I didn't even have a proposal."

"Oh (Y/N)."

"And when those doors open, you're supposed to look down the aisle and see your soul mate waiting for you. You both smile and start crying because the day has finally come. I had none of that. I'll never have any of that."

She placed her hand over mine."I think over time, you and Bon will learn to love each other. And as frustrating as that is, I believe it will happen."

Esmeralda was a huge comfort. I felt better after talking with her than I did my family. I guessed that it was because she was a new person to talk to, I didn't know what she was going to say, so I wasn't listening to the same dribble I was used to.

It was like any other evening when Bonnie came home. I was reading a book in the front room, sprawled out on the sofa. He called out as he entered the house, I replied but didn't move. He was rustling around in the kitchen, things were being moved around, cupboards opening and closing. Perhaps he was hungry and needed a snack before dinner. I left him to it for a few more seconds, deciding to investigate when he didn't stop.

Just as I was about to walk into the kitchen, Bonnie blocked the doorway, trying to use his whole body to limit my view.

"Hi." he said breathless.

"Hello. Um, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just...just doing...something."

Whenever I tried to look around him, he moved in my way.

"If you've broken something Bonnie, I don't mind. I'd rather help clean it up."

"No, nothing like that. Could you just...jist trust me?"

I looked up at him, thinking about it.

"Please?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Is it alright if you wait in front room? It's nothing bad, I promise."

I turned around, glancing back at Bonnie before I returned to the sofa and my book. What was he doing? Was he trying to cook? It was sweet if he was, though when we had cooked together before he was never this clumsy. I couldn't ignore the racket coming from the kitchen, unable to concentrate on any of the words in my book.

"Bonnie? Are you sure you're OK in there?" I shouted out to him.

"Yeah!" he quickly replied. Only moments later was he in the front room, a huge grin on his face."If you would like to follow me to your surprise."

"Surprise?"

He nodded, holding out his hand to me. I took it, letting him guide me back to the kitchen. The lights were off, the only source of light was coming from a few candles in the centre of the table, more dotted around the kitchen too. There were two plates with nothing in them, instead, there were different foods on scattered on the table like a picnic.

"Bonnie?"

He stood in front of the table."I spoke with my sister the other day. I wasn't snooping, I just wondered how you were with her, if you told her something about me that I needed to change. She told me how upset you were that you couldn't experience your wedding day properly, and I thought I could help with that. So, I asked Ada and Pol what your favourite food was, all types, and I thought we could have a romantic dinner together. "

I was gobsmacked. A man who was forced into marrying me, who didn't know me, had put all this effort into a dinner together, something no other man would probably do.

"You did this for me?"

"Yeah. You deserve it. You deserve a lot more really, but I'm still learning to cook other recipes besides rabbit stew."

I giggled.

"I hope you don't mind, but they also told me how you've never been on a date before."

That wasn't embarrassing at all.

"And I want you to know, that's because of you brothers. Men tremble at their feet, what do you think teenage boys are going to be like? But I am very honoured to be the first man to take you on a date."

"This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm shocked, honestly."

He pulled out a chair for me, and I sat, feeling giddy. Bonnie tucked me in, taking a seat beside me before pouring out a glass of wine for me. My mind argued with itself over my next choice, but I bit the bullet. I confidently leaned over, very quickly pecking his lips. I couldn't look at him when I next spoke.

"Thank you Bonnie. And thank you for being the best husband."

"Well thank you for being the best wife."

"What have I done to be a good wife?"

"Just being you."

[captivatedbycillianmurphy]

I want to finish “Out of the Blue” but I have been swamped! Maybe I’ll get it done but I don’t know when! I want to thank those of you who have read it and liked it and shared it! Bless you all!

side note: I would do anything for him! 🥺🫠🥰

[look-at-the-soul]

Grandma knows best

Tommy Shelby x reader (+Grandma)

Summary: Thomas Shelby is a well known gánster, reckless, fearless, stubborn, restless… he might be a lot of things, but he wasn’t an inconsiderate man. Not specially with an elderly woman.

A/N: 🤷🏻‍♀️ grandmas definitely knows what’s best for us 👵🏻♥️✨ nothing but a fluff moment…

See the Grandma series here

Word count: 3,303

Taking off you coat, you tried to rub your hands to warm them up. Announcing you just arrived, barely noticing an unfamiliar voice.

But to your surprise, once you stepped into the kitchen, you found the least person you thought that could ever be there.

The Small Heath devil, Thomas Shelby.

“Oh darling, there you are.” You grandma greeted you with a wide smile. “I was just telling Mr. Shelby about you.”

“Grandma.” You were paralyzed, frozen in spot.

Giving you a subtle double look, he had to force himself to compose, nothing your grandmother had said about you prepared him. Your beauty was beyond words. And over the last hour he had heard nothing but compliments and good things, he had to admit he had been curious about that young lady that seemed to be exceptional.

A long time ago you learned walking alone once is dark is a bad idea, but crossing your eyes with that man was worse.

“We haven’t done anything wrong Mr. Shelby…” you tried to explain as the man stared perplexed, his man spread as if he owed everything in that house.

“Sweetheart Mr. Shelby helped me with the groceries and bread, the basket was heavy and he offered to walk me home.”

Noticing the terror in your eyes, he cleared his throat.

“My job is done here Mrs. Barwick, it was lovely to meet you, thank you for the tea.”

Standing up, he grabbed his peaky cap, the razor blade caught the light and shone in your direction. But your grandmother had a different idea.

“What do you mean you’re leaving? You’ve to stay for dinner.”

“Absolutely not.” You rushed to interrupt. Looking down at the tone you just used to answer your grandma you mumbled an apology.

“I really appreciate the offer bu-”

“This is absurd, you can’t leave until you’ve had dinner Mr. Shelby, I must insist, and I need to know the rest of the story of that caravan trip you did.” She replied scolding him just like she did with you, in that motherly tone.

Frowning you looked from her, to the well known gánster. There was no way back now, he was staying for dinner.

“Now, would you like some more tea?” She offered to him, as Thomas opened his mouth to say no, your grandma filled the cup again. It looked ridiculous in his hand.

The most dangerous man in the country drinking tea from a cup decorated with flowers. ¡In your bloody kitchen!

“Milk?” She offered, ignoring the fact that he could kill her anytime. You’ve heard all kinds of stories about him and the tortures he used among his enemies.

“Yes thank you.”

“Sweetheart, would you mind helping me here?” She pointed at the pot next to her knees, it was getting harder for her to bend down these days.

“I’ll get that for you.” He offered and in mere seconds he was crunching down to get it.

“Oh bless you.” Your grandma offered him another smile. “Why are you still standing there?” She called to get your attention.

Shaking your head a little, you were able to move past the initial shock, but still threw the man a side look just to make sure he wasn’t planning to blind your grandmother.

“Shall I cut these?” Mr. Shelby proposed pointing at the potatoes, after your grandmother nodded he produced a knife from his pocket, making you gasp. “Everything alright Miss Y/LN?”

“If you excuse me, I’ll come back in a minute.” She raised her eyebrows at you before she left.

“Listen it’s just the two of us alright? I pay the taxes and give money to church but I won’t pay you for protection.” You should have kept your mouth shut but for some reason, adrenaline made you talkative and you were nervous, afraid for your life, for your grandma.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to collect any money.” He raised his hands in defense. “Your grandmother is adorable.”

“What?” You asked perplexed, thinking of a possible way to get out of the house safely.

“You heard me, I’m not here to do any harm to you or her.” He clicked his tongue. “She said you’re a smart woman, you’ve nothing to worry about.”

“Then why are you here?” Confusion was written all over you.

“She offered me tea and cookies… oh! And dinner.”

“You can’t stay!”

“Y/N! Where are your manners? That’s no way to treat such a gentleman.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at her words. Thomas Shelby a gentleman. He narrowed his eyes, and gave you an offended look.

“Set the table, I’ll finish this.” She ordered.

Doing as she asked, you went to collect the plates.

“Not that ones! The fancy set!” She instructed pointing the spoon at you.

Tommy chuckled at your surprised expression, but quickly looked down to continue his task chopping the vegetables.

But he’s a criminal! He’s a gangster! You wanted to say. Yet, she wanted to use the delicate china reserved only for important occasions.

Placing the plates, you took then the silverware from the drawer. Seconds later you heard them laughing over something he had said, your grandmother’s voice praising him for his sense of humor. She had no idea who he was! Or what he had done.

“And what did he say afterwards?” He asked your grandma, you found him leaning against the sink, his body turned to face her.

“He said, I swore I saw you first, it had to be me the one who would make the first move.” Your grandmother stated proudly.

Here she was, seventy something years old telling the number one Birmingham’s criminal her love story with your grandfather.

“I told him, of course honey, you chose me. He always thought it was him, but it was me the one who chose him.”

“How long were you married?” He asked with interest.

“Over fifty years, most of my life. Can you believe that?”

“That’s lovely.” He admitted. The words sounded so wrong in his mouth, he should be cursing or shouting.

“Dinner is ready.” Your grandma announced. “Y/N help our guest.”

You wanted to roll your eyes.

“Food smells amazing.” He complimented.

“Would you like a piece of bread? Tommy?”

“Grandma!”

“What? He says I can call him that.” She defended.

“Please.” He smiled and you groaned internally. “I’m going to wash my hands.”

As soon as he disappeared, your grandma grabbed your arm. “You need to put a smile on that face my darling, can’t you see? An educated gentleman is visiting us, he smells nice, has a sense of humor, is polite and handsome… have you seen his eyes? It’s like a piece of heaven!”

“So what? He’s a-”

“You need to find yourself a decent man, Y/N.”

“He’s not a decent man.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Grandma, he’s an arrogant, selfish and dangerous-”

“May I have this honor?” He asked interrupting your little disagreement, offering his arm to your grandma, he guided her tenderly towards the table. He probably heard everything you said.

“So, Tommy what is that you do?”

“I’ve a business, we sell car parts in different countries.”He wasn’t lying.

“I’ve never used a car!”

“Then I should take you for a ride.”

You felt about to combust, he was charming your grandmother and she believed him!

Grinding your teeth, you placed the food on his plate.

“I really appreciate this.” He gave you a twisted smile.

Your grandmother’s hand came to rest on his arm. “I’m so glad I came across you this afternoon. It’s been lovely to share this meal with you.”

“I’m flattered you think that.”

“You don’t have a wife waiting at home, do you Tommy?” Your grandma asked bluntly and you almost chocked on your food.

“No, Mrs Barwick. I’m not married.”

“How is that possible?” She shook her head. “You deserve a good woman!” Then, looking at you she said; “what was that tale I told you to find a husband?”

“I don’t know grandma, I’m done with my dinner if you excuse m-”

But the look she threw in your direction, made you reconsider leaving the table. Sometimes she didn’t need to use her words. One look was more than enough.

You took a deep breath uncomfortable, and it only grew as you could feel Mr. Shelby’s eyes on you.

“Your grandma mentioned you sell books.” He asked to ease the tension.

“Yes.”

“Oh but show him! About that collection you got.” Your grandma encouraged.

“What is it about? Eh?”

“She’s a great seller.” She praised.

“Oh.” Mr. Shelby’s eyes sparkled. He was having fun. “Really?”

He was the most irritating person you’ve ever met.

“It’s about the Greek mithology.”

“Fascinating.” He nodded. “Why don’t you stop by my office tomorrow? I’d like the entire collection.”

“That’s wonderful!” Your grandma beamed.

“All set then.” He ran his tongue over his lips and then, tilted his head. “You made me remember about my grandmother.”

“What was a she like?” Your grandmother asked, batting her lashes.

He had her eating from his palm deliberately.

Studying the man before your eyes, something changed inside you. How could he be so cold-hearted? He seemed like a total different person in that very moment, his guard was down, posture totally relaxed, he even had a smile on his face.

Catching you off guard, you had to look away from him.

“She was a gypsy princess.” His blue eyes filled with nostalgia. “Thanks to her I learned all about values like respect, loyalty. She showed me how to ride a horse and light a fire.”

“It must’ve been hard for her to be on the road.”

“Actually no, she loved to be free, said how nature provided us for everything we might need.” He explained all while his deep voice was dragging you into something you couldn’t name. “It’s getting late and I don’t want to keep you up. Thank you once again.”

“Thank you for a lovely evening Tommy, would love to have you again for dinner .”

He gave you another look, not so subtle this time.

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Not at all, right Y/N?” She pressed her elbow against your arm. “Walk him to the door my dear.”

Offering his hand to her, she whispered into his ear; “She doesn’t trust easily, you’ll need to work harder.”

Tommy tried to disguise his chuckle, after winking at your grandmother he thanked you too.

“I really enjoyed it, hope to see you around?” He arranged the peaky cap on his head and placed his hand on your arm.

“Goodnight Mr. Shelby.” Was all you could think of saying, still confused by everything that happened.

“Goodnight Mr. Shelby?” Your grandmother mimicked your voice. “You’ll need to do better next time, fix your hair, wear your new shoes… a little something! Y/N I placed him in a silver tray for you and you only said two words to him. Sweetheart you need to do something to catch his attention.”

Opening your mouth to protest, but she continued rambling. “But be discreet, you must stand out from the other women, don’t throw yourself at him, leave him wanting more,” her eyes sparkled in excitement. “A hand on his shoulder, hold his gaze… or pretend to brush something from his coat and then look at his lips.”

“Grandma, stop.” You blushed.

“Goodness, I can’t do anything else for you! He was right here!” She took the plates to the kitchen. “A smile might help, you need to ask him about his day, fix his handkerchief…”

“He was only here because you didn’t give him another option.” A sigh escaped your lips.

“My sweet girl, you’ve everything he needs,” she cupped your chin gently. “But you’re too shy! He kept staring at you…”

“I think your imagination is wild.”

“Y/NY/LN,” you stopped midway as she called your full name. Oh oh. “I like him to be my grandson-in-law… so you gotta do something soon.”

And knowing her the way you did, you realized there was no way back now. Once an idea got into her head, she wouldn’t let that slip away.

“I’ve been praying for this moment for so long!” You heard her say from across the room and then she mumbled something about that blue dress that suited you so well.

As you were about to clean the kitchen you heard a knock on the door. Opening, you were surprised to find the most terrifying man on your doorstep once more.

Your heart rate went up immediately, he was standing with his hands crossed in front of his body, head hanging low, you could only see his lips under the peaky cap.

“I’ll be waiting for you Miss Y/LN, tomorrow ten o’clock, I’ll make sure to send someone to help you with the books.”

“That won’t be necessary, I can carry them by myself.” You insisted, still unsure about his intention.

“Fairly well, as you wish.”

As he turned around to leave, something made you stop him.

“I want to thank you for helping my grandmother.” Never, in a million years you imagined you’d be grateful for something he did.

Lifting his jaw to stare at you with those piercing blue eyes that could set anyone into stone, he gave you a smile.

“I just did the right thing.” He cleared his throat. “You’ve nothing to be afraid of by the way, don’t believe everything you hear.”

“I just learned that, you can be considerate and charming sometimes.”

“Then consider yourself lucky,” he winked at you, “that doesn’t happen too often.”

Looking past your shoulder, Tommy noticed your grandmother’s head poking, moving her hands excitedly towards you.

****

Master list

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @heidimoreton @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @lau219 @red-riding-wood

[shelbyssins]

White Tulip ~ Arthur Shelby x F!Reader

A/N: This is rated 18+ for mature themes. This is my contribution to @runnning-outof-time's 3K follower celebration "Tales From the Flower Garden". The prompt I chose was “I don't mind what you have to do… I won't think less of you”. I'm so happy with how this turned out and I'm excited for you all to read my first Arthur story! He's my baby and I'm really looking forward to hearing your thoughts. This takes place somewhere in S3 in the countryside. As always, if you read this, please let me know what you think! - Rosie x

Warnings: Mature themes, hurt/comfort

Arthur sat in his and Y/n's garden, an isolated meadow that stretched into farmland just beyond their fence. He was surrounded by wild flowers of seemingly every colour and variety, the stems bending in the breeze, petals stroking his hands where they lay at the sides of his legs. The night was warm, not even a hint of a chill in the air, and the sky was inky blue despite the late hour. There was no pollution in the countryside, unlike the ever present fog in Birmingham, so the moon shone bright pale light onto Arthur's face and reflected into the pond just beyond their willow tree.

Arthur looked at the bottle of whiskey he had brought onto the grass with him, the cork still intact and the liquor still untasted. His mind wandered back to a promise he'd made to his beautiful Y/n that he would quit the alcohol, quit every one of his vices if it meant he could be with her for longer. His hands caressed a patch of grass as he recalled what had happened after that conversation, how the smell of wild flowers clung to Y/n's skin as he laid her down in the meadow and left kisses all over her body, how beautiful she looked as they made love under the spring sun.

He heard the soft beat of footsteps against the grass and lifted his heavy head to gaze at his love. Y/n was wearing nothing but a silken nightgown, her legs and feet both bare as she sat down next to Arthur. Her hair, which was usually pinned up in intricate styles, hung loosely over her shoulders, some strands dancing in the warm breeze. Arthur thought for a terrible moment that he might cry at the sight of her, his beautiful angel under the pale moon.

He reached for her instantly, as if she was the only thing keeping him from floating away. Y/n felt his hands shaking despite the summer warmth as she carded her fingers through his un-styled hair. She watched with sad eyes as the lines on his face that she loved to trace with her delicate fingers deepened when he squeezed his eyes shut, trying fruitlessly to hide his tears from her.

Y/n smiled softly, cupping his cheek as she whispered to him, "Stop that, you know you don't have to hide your emotions from me, Arthur."

Arthur recalled, then, how difficult it was when he and Y/n first started to go out, how hard Y/n had tried to train Arthur out of the bad habits he learned from Tommy. Only recently had he started to open the door on his past traumas so that Y/n could get in; at the start of their relationship he refused her comfort. Once, he'd even thrown a glass at Y/n when her gentle hands were too overwhelming and he'd never forgiven himself, even though she had forgiven him a thousand times. The memory brought the shame right back to him, acidic guilt rising up his throat.

Arthur looked to the skies for falling stars, so that maybe all of the bad thoughts and poisonous memories could be carried away with his one desperate wish.

Arthur could feel himself properly going over board for the first time since he and Y/n had moved away from Birmingham. The weight in his mind was pushing him deeper and deeper under the relentless waves of anger and worthlessness, so heavy that he was terrified he'd pull Y/n under with him.

"What's wrong, my love?" Y/n asked gently, she could see all of Arthur's emotions flashing through his eyes like a picture book, she knew his silence never meant good things.

"Tommy," He whispered back, as if afraid that mentioning his name would somehow summon his brother.

"What about him, darling?" Y/n replied, the pet names rolling easily off her tongue as she knew Arthur loved to be loved, that he needed reminding at all times she was still his.

"He asked for me... To go back to Birmingham. Needs help with business, but you and I both know what he really wants from me," Arthur clenched his fists in the grass to articulate his point, the pale scars littering his knuckles glowing silvery in the moonlight.

"I know he'll put me straight back in the field, in the ring where I know he needs me," Arthur continues, that unmistakable waver in his voice when he was trying not to break down, "I know I'll kill whatever new enemy he's made if that's what he wants me to do,"

Y/n brushed her thumb over the back one of Arthur's battle-marred hands, trying to quell the pounding of her heart. She knew about his past and accepted all that came with it, but that didn't change how unpleasant it was to imagine her husband condemning a man to his death.

"I can try to pretend it's not who I am but... Y/n, me 'ead stops hurtin' when me fists start bleedin'," Arthur said, a fresh wave of unshed tears welling up in his eyes, "If Tommy asks me to fight, I won't let 'em get up from the count,"

Y/n scrunched her eyes closed, squeezing Arthur's hand to somehow let him know she understood.

"You could tell him you're not going back," She whispered, already knowing what his answer would be, Shelbys and their loyalty weren't to be questioned.

"You and I both know I won't do that, Y/n," Arthur replied, his clenched hands ripping the grass out at the roots.

Arthur dug his damp palms into his eyes as his tears finally spilled over, "I - I can feel hell fire blazing at my feet, Y/n, and the closer I get to going back to the Blinders, the more me mind burns up," He sobbed, roughly hitting himself in the temples to emphasise his words. Y/n laced her fingers through Arthur's own large, calloused ones in an attempt to stop him from hurting himself. The terrified rage in his eyes seemed to drain as he softly gripped Y/n's hand in his, "I love you, Y/n. I can't let you burn with me,"

Y/n smiled softly despite Arthur's panicked spiel. She picked a flower from the beautiful plant bed she had sown herself one day when Arthur was out. She tucked it into the breast pocket of his thin linen shirt, a white tulip to symbolise her anticipatory forgiveness.

"Oh, Arthur, I don't mind what you have to do… I won't think less of you," She whispered, as if afraid that speaking any louder would make him run.

Y/n pressed a soft kiss to Arthur's temple, reddened where he had abused the skin earlier, and she took his war-toughened face into her small hands, holding him so gently it was as if she was cradling the whole world in her grasp.

"I love you so much," She began, shushing Arthur softly when he tried to interject, "You don't have to understand why I love you, you just have to accept it. If your choice is to do whatever Tommy is asking of you, I'll still love you when it's done. I chose this life with you long before you turned your back on who you were in Birmingham. I fell in love with you when you were still proud to be a Peaky Blinder, you can't scare me off with talk of hell now, my love," She resumed carding her fingers through Arthur's soft hair, his eyes had closed somewhere during her speech and his breathing was so even and calm she might have thought him asleep.

Arthur opened his eyes again when Y/n's fingers stilled and she was once again struck at the love she saw in his eyes, so pure and unfiltered that it was almost too much for her to bear.

"And besides," Y/n spoke again, "Surely if I'm journeying into death with you, I couldn't possibly be anywhere else but heaven,"

Arthur's tears spilled freely then, down his cheeks in paths that glinted like the first spark in a flame.

"Just promise me you'll let me be around to patch you up, even if you're not physically hurt," Y/n whispered as Arthur nodded, unable to speak around the lump in his throat.

He laid his head down in Y/n's lap, the skirt of her night gown cool on his hot skin, "Let's stay out 'ere for a while," Arthur rasped after a moment of silence, pouting his lips slightly to ask for a kiss.

He tried to pour all of the love he had in his body for Y/n into the soft touching of their lips; he knew there were no words that have ever or will ever exist to describe his feelings for her. They stayed like that, gently laid in the blooms as they kissed, until Arthur felt the crushing weight in his head disappear. When they eventually pulled apart, Y/n graced him with her brilliant smile and wiped away a stray tear he didn't know he'd shed with her thumb.

Arthur gazed back up at the dark sky, the thousands of stars that glittered there just for them couldn't ever compare to the light Y/n brought to his life. Even in a garden of beautiful flowers, Arthur thought Y/n was still the most radiant being by a mile.

[allwaswell16]

— O N E —

by @allwaswell16 for @louisrarepairfest

When omega Louis Tomlinson becomes pregnant after an unexpected encounter, he decides his only option is to flee his pack. But Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, might not be willing to let him go so easily. [Thank you to @nouies for the amazing moodboard]

Omegaverse | 4k | Louis/Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders)

[buttercupsandboys]

Sunshine & Rainbows

Alfie Solomons x Livy (OFC) — Chapter 15

18+ NSFW - minors don’t interact 🙅🏻‍♀️

MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3

CHAPTER 15: only love could hurt like this

Summary: The Shelby women torment Alfie and secrets are revealed ...

TW: language typical of Peaky Blinders, a touch of angst

Word count: 3273

A/N: It’s been a while, so here’s a super quick recap! (Or click here to read Chapter 14 again!)

Alfie found out Livy was missing, then beat the crap out of Tommy. A few hours later, Polly and Esme show up at his hotel room ...

This chapter picks up right where we left off. 

“Well, go on then,” Alfie demands. “We haven’t got all fucking night. Where is she?”

Polly chuckles darkly, looking far too amused for his liking. She takes a moment to light a cigarette, raising it to her painted lips before replying. “And what makes you think I’m just going to hand over that information?”

Fucking hell.

The room goes deathly silent, save for the ominous tick of the clock, reminiscent of a bomb just waiting to explode.

… much like Alfie's stormy expression.

He’s exhausted, and his patience has officially run out. A volatile mix at the best of times, but with Livy gone, the look on his face is more than a threat. It’s a promise of violence.

But Polly doesn’t notice or, more likely, doesn’t care. Instead of backing down, like any sensible being, she stands with one hand on her hip and the other in the air, smoke dancing from her fingers, chin raised like the Queen of fucking England.

“‘Cause that’s what you said, ain’t it?” He glares at her through narrowed eyes. “You asked if I wanted to find Livy.”

“Exactly,” she smirks. “I asked if you wanted to find her. I didn’t say I would tell you where she is.”

Alfie considers snatching her cigarette and shoving it down her slender throat. Polly’s asking for trouble, pushing his buttons at the worst possible time, and they all know it. It’s almost like she wants to see him lose his temper, or at least expects it.

But he is nothing, if not unpredictable.

Despite the displeasure written across his features, Alfie remains seated. He doesn’t speak, barely even blinks as he raises his fist and cracks his knuckles, slowly and methodically, one by one.

The women watch on, seemingly unfazed, but the longer Alfie sits and stares, face like a predator stalking his prey, the more their facade begins to crumble. They are bold, not stupid, or so it seems. The minutes pass, and Polly takes a hesitant step backwards, Esme following suit, dropping her boots to the floor as they brace for an explosion.

Alfie surprises them all. He should be fucking furious, but his blood cools when he recognises this for what it is: a negotiation. And despite the high stakes, the familiarity of it all is comforting.

This is one game he knows how to play.

“Right, then.” Alfie grins as he leans back and spreads his arms wide. Everything is still fucked, Livy is still fucking missing, but at least he has something to work with. “Let’s talk, love. Why don’t you tell me what you want, yeah?”

“For you to fuck off,” Esme mutters, confidence restored now that the danger has passed.

Polly shoots her a stern look before returning to Alfie. “What makes you think I want anything, Mr Solomons?” she asks, cool and composed behind a cloud of smoke.

Alfie laughs; in another time, another place, he might genuinely enjoy their banter.

“Don’t play coy, sweetie. It’s three in the fucking morning. Now she”—Alfie waves in Esme’s general direction—“she might be here for Livy. But you?” he huffs. “You’ve got too much Shelby in you.”

Polly’s mouth falls open, a retort on the tip of her tongue, but Alfie cuts her off with a raised palm.

“I don’t want to hear it, yeah. Normally I’m happy to go along with these little games you fucking gypsies love so fucking much. But tonight, I’m going to need you to get to the point, ya hear?”

Alfie watches as Polly visibly bristles, her lips pressed in a firm line, her spine impossibly straighter. But the Shelby matriarch quickly recovers.

“Of course, Mr Solomons,” she replies, her voice and smile sickly sweet. “You’re obviously a very intelligent man.”

Polly waits for a reaction, but unfortunately for her, Alfie is a very intelligent man. So he ignores the trite tactic and gives her 30 fucking seconds to explain herself. The clock continues to tick, and he resumes cracking his knuckles; it’s a veritable symphony of unspoken aggression.

“Fine,” Polly huffs, rolling her dark eyes when it becomes clear they're doing this on his terms. “I need your help,” she reluctantly admits. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I have a son….”

Livy wiggles her toes, delighting in the morning dew against her bare skin. The sun is low on the horizon, but it’s already promising to be a beautiful day. The air is crisp, the birds are singing, and she half expects rainbows to fall from the sky. She breathes deeply and, for a few minutes, finds peace.

Almost.

Because then she remembers what brought her here.

With a groan, Livy flops on the grass, not caring about her state of dress—or her hair, for that matter, her scarlet locks tangled, free from adornments save for a few twigs and burrs. She’s feeling quite sorry for herself as she drapes her arm across her eyes, the weight pressing her into the damp earth. If only it would open and swallow her whole.

“Well, Holy Lord God, it’s Livy Lou, queen of the fairies. What would your father say if he saw you like this?”

Livy smiles at the familiar voice, lips curling despite her melancholy.

“That we should bury our sorrows and rise like the sun,” she recites.

“Rise like the sun,” Aberama repeats as he drops into the grass beside her, stretching his long legs and propping himself on an elbow. “A mighty wise man, your William.”

She hums in agreement, grateful for the company, and together they sit in comfortable silence, watching the sun rise higher in the sky. Minutes pass until it blinds—not the light but the unfettered hope that for once feels so fucking foreign—and Livy turns away, tracing the ground, wishing she could take her father’s advice.

But her sorrows refuse to stay buried.

As she inspects the dirt beneath her brightly painted nails, Livy can’t help but wonder if she made the right decision. Which is strange in and of itself; usually, she’s so confident, trusting her gut and following it faithfully, eyes on the horizon, never looking back. It’s her life’s motto and often the only thing keeping her sane.

Except now she’s in love with Alfie—and doesn’t that just change everything?

She wipes her hands on her dress and closes her eyes to avoid Aberama’s curious gaze. Being here with him reminds Livy of those first months after escaping Bernard. It was all new then; the kind faces and open fires that chased away the darkness, smoke and songs accompanying them into the night. As joy and laughter replaced fear and pain, she was, in many ways, reborn.

How fitting that she should find herself here again.

Last night was a turning point, and Livy knows it, although she’s not ready to face the truth. Instead, it would be easier to ignore altogether, to fall into the comfortable rhythm of life on the road and let it consume her as she rides out this chapter.

With enough time and enough whiskey (or perhaps that broody Shelby gin), she might come to see this nightmare as a blessing in disguise. Livy was truthful with Esme; she missed the life, the freedom, even the creaky wheels beneath her bed.

One door closes, another opens—right?

Livy snorts before she can stop herself, drawing another look from Aberama, who she continues to ignore. Her usual optimism has bolted, much like Cyril, who is off in the bushes chasing a rabbit. This is no blessing, of that she’s sure. More like a lesson—the universe punishing her for holding too tightly onto something that was never hers to begin with.

Of course, Livy knew this day would come, but she wasn’t expecting this.

Only love could hurt like this.

His scent still lingers on her skin—warm and slightly spiced, like rum and sweat and home—and despite everything, a part of her wants him back. She misses Alfie dreadfully; those beautiful lips, maddeningly distracting as they trace the valley of her breasts, his whiskers teasing her flesh, leaving his mark behind.

Just like the mark he left on her soul, and he should be hers, even though logic and reason tell her to run and run and run.

And she will because as much as Livy hates to admit it, the truth is she’s terrified.

Not of Bernard McCall or Thomas Shelby, as one would reasonably expect…

No, Livy is afraid of Alfie.

Because if he knew about Bernard and still chose to do business with him, he couldn’t possibly love her back.

And how on earth is she supposed to survive that kind of heartbreak?

Livy shakes her head.

She’s always been impulsive, but she’s never been in love, and sometimes it’s easier to give everything up than to have it all taken from you.

She picks a blade of grass and pretends to be fascinated by the vibrant shade of green when Aberama reaches over and plucks it from her fingers.

“You know…” He pauses, eyeing Livy from beneath his low-slung hat. “I didn’t expect to see you again. At least, not anytime soon.”

Livy blushes at the unspoken question, her thick lashes kissing her cheeks as she averts her eyes. How can she explain when she barely understands herself? Everything is jumbled, and she’s never felt so confused.

“Yes, well, you see …”

She bites her lip and considers how much to share with Aberama. He’s fiercely protective of those he considers family, and Livy’s fortunate to count herself among the few not related by blood. But she doesn’t want to see a bullet with Alfie’s name on it. At least not yet.

“I’m taking precautions,” she finally replies. “Keeping a low profile for a bit.”

“Precautions?” Aberama repeats. He stares for a long minute before wiping his palm on his thigh and extending his hand. “Well, come on then. You know the promise I made to your father.”

Livy nods in relief and accepts his hand as he pulls her to her feet. She’s grateful for the help—and the lack of questions—but it’s still too much. The weight of everything is drowning her, and she needs a distraction, something familiar to ease her troubled mind.

“Aberama, darling, do you still keep that blade inside your boot?”

He flashes a brilliant smile.

“What the fuck does Michael have to do with anything?” sputters Esme, the shock written across her tired face.

Polly ignores her, keeping her chin raised and eyes hard, refusing to wilt beneath Alfie’s probing stare.

“Michael has recently shown an interest in joining the family business,” she continues. “But Thomas has … ambitions that come with unnecessary risk. Risks I cannot allow my son to be exposed to.”

“Right…,” mutters Alfie, stroking his beard as he contemplates her words. It’s just as he suspected: a fucking mess. “And what the fuck does this have to do with me?”

“I need you to terminate the deal with Bernard McCall. Ensure Thomas no longer has access to Liverpool.”

“Why would you want that?”

“Does it matter?” she snaps. “Help me, and I’ll help you find Livy.”

His heart clenches at the sound of her name, and in that moment, he’d sign away his fortune, his bakery, anything to get her back.

But then he has a better idea.

“Tell me more about your business in Liverpool,” Alfie demands.

Her eyes flash darkly. “Our business is not your concern.” Polly exchanges a look with Esme, and her face softens. “But I’ll make you a deal, Mr Solomons. Agree to help me, and I’ll tell you more about Bernard McCall. And trust me, there are things you need to know.”

“Trust you,” Alfie repeats, the words hanging heavy in the air. “Right, well that’s just it, Mrs Gray. Trust is a fragile thing.” He strokes his jaw. “And what about your boy? Is he … fragile?”

Polly leaps forward. “Are you threatening—“

Alfie stands, towering over her with his broad frame. “I don’t make threats,” he warns, advancing slowly until she has to crane her neck to face him. “Now, you’re going to tell me about Liverpool, you’re going to tell me about Bernard, and you’re going to help me find Livy. If she’s safe, nothing will happen to your precious son, and in exchange, I will end things in Liverpool.”

She glares at him, and Alfie can only imagine the gypsy curse she’s placing on his black soul. But he’s already damned, so he returns her cold stare. Livy is all that matters now, and he’d deal with the devil—or worse, a Shelby—to get her back.

“Fine,” Polly finally agrees, spitting on her palm and extending it to him. Alfie responds in kind, and she nods, inhaling deeply from her cigarette.

“Thomas is working with a group of Americans who support the Bolsheviks,” she begins, taking a seat. “He’s importing weapons from them under the protection of Shelby Company Limited. But security is tight in London, which is why he needs Liverpool.”

Alfie briefly closes his eyes. “Fucking hell. Meddling with the Russians, that silly boy.”

She snorts. “Exactly. It’s going to blow up in his face, and I don’t want Micheal around when it does.”

“And what about Livy?” he asks sharply. “Don’t fucking tell me she has anything to do with—“

“No, not the Russians,” she reassures him. But something in her tone has him on edge.

“But what?” he demands.

Polly gives him a sad smile. “Alfie.” It's the first time she’s used his given name, and a chill runs down his spine. “I’m assuming you know that Livy had a … difficult past?”

A growl escapes from his chest, a feral sound, raw and violent. “Yeah, I fucking know. And when I find the fucker responsible….”

Alfie trails off at the look on the women’s faces.

No.

Oh, fuck no.

The table goes flying, splintering into pieces, just like his heart.

“Bernard?”

“Yes.” Polly and Esme reply in unison.

He wants to vomit.

Alfie has a strong stomach—after France, not much offends him—but when he thinks about Livy, he nearly drops to his knees.

And he will soon, to beg her forgiveness.

But for now, violence will have to do.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to fucking kill him.” He stalks forward, reaching for Polly, unable to stop himself. “Does he have her?” he roars, yanking her to her feet. “Does he fucking have her?”

Polly remains oddly calm. “No,” she assures him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Alfie lets go, visibly relieved. “Right, then where the fuck is she?”

Polly and Esme exchange another look, and he glances around for something else to throw.

“Stop with the fucking faces and tell me where to find Livy before I cut off your—”

“She doesn’t want to be found,” interrupts Polly.

“I don’t give a fuck what she wants—“

“Maybe that’s the problem,” snaps Esme, arms folded defiantly across her chest. “You men are all the same. How do we know you’re not working with Bernard?”

“Esme, shut up,” retorts Polly.

“No, you shut it. Neither of you care about her, it’s all about Michael with you, and fuck knows what he wants—“

“Enough,” roars Alfie, his temper at breaking point. “Fucking, enough. I love her, yeah, and that’s all you need to fucking know. So gather your shit, and let’s go get her.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence before Polly nods, looking relieved as she collects her bag and makes for the door. But Esme stares at him, eyes dark like the window to her soul.

“I don’t give a fuck what they say about you,” she announces, stalking forward until she’s toe to toe with him. The top of her head barely grazes his chin, but Esme speaks with a confidence that betrays her small frame. “If anything happens to her, it’s you that will be afraid of me. Do you understand? I’ll be watching you, Mr Solomons.”

She takes a few steps backwards. “Always watching,” she repeats before turning on her heel, leaving Alfie no choice but to follow.

Bloody Shelby women.

“Fuck off, no. Categorical.” Alfie pokes the side of the wagon with his cane. “That there, right, is a coffin on wheels. If you want to travel like the living dead, knock yourself out. But you see, for my people, it’s a matter of principle, ain’t it?”

Polly sighs. “Do you want to find Livy or not? We can’t go any further by car, and it’s too far to travel by foot. So unless you want to ride a horse, this is your only option.”

“Ride a fucking horse,” Alfie mutters as he steps forward and nearly loses a shoe in the mud. “This is just fucking perfect, innit? Drag me out in the middle of nowhere, in one of your curious gypo wagons, yeah? Then you put a bullet in my fucking skull, and when my poor Jewish soul is liberated from my body—“

“I can’t fucking do this,” mutters Polly, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. She takes a deep breath and gathers her strength. “Mr Solomons, please, I implore you. Get in the fucking wagon. If there’s any hope of finding Livy, we need to move quickly.”

Alfie nods and, for once, does as he’s told.

The mud and wagon had provided temporary distraction, but now his nausea returns with a vengeance. His head is spinning, his mind frantic, desperate to pinpoint the moment where everything went so horribly wrong. How the fuck did this happen? All his men—a network of spies, a fortune in bribes—and not one goddamn whisper about that bastard McCall.

Because they’re all bad men, but there are just some lines you don’t fucking cross.

Alfie grits his teeth and settles into the vardo (which is surprisingly comfortable, although he’ll never admit it) when the truth hits him squarely in the face.

Thomas fucking Shelby.

It’s the only explanation. Somehow he knew the truth about Bernard and Livy, and purposely kept it from him to protect the Liverpool deal.

Because of the fucking Russians.

Alfie groans and runs a hand down his face, recalling the conversation in Tommy’s office. It’s all coming together now, and it’s not fucking good. Livy is gone, and he’d bet his left nut both Bernard and Thomas are searching for her, making this whole fiasco a race against time.

And here he is—creeping across the countryside in a fucking box.

To make things worse, his fate lies in the hands of not one but two Shelby women and for all he knows, he’s riding headfirst into a trap. But what choice does he have? He’s armed and angry, a dangerous mix, fueled by emotions that are entirely new, fucking raw, and he will find Livy because right now nothing else matters.

Of course, what happens after he finds her is another story.

Fucking hell.

Just 24 hours ago, he was working up the courage to share his feelings. Now he’ll be lucky if she doesn’t cut his fucking balls off.

And that’s if Livy agrees to see him.

Alfie shakes his head and sits taller in his seat. He’s negotiated ‘deal or die’ offers with some of Britain’s most dangerous men, and this is Livy. His Livy. When he finds her, he won’t give her a choice. After all, it was God himself who delivered her to his doorstep.

Some things are meant to be, and once he has her in his arms, he won’t let her go again.

A/N: So ... let me know what you think! I really wanted this chapter to be longer, but honestly, I’ve been sitting on this for months. It got to a point where I think I just needed to publish it, so I could get creatively unstuck! 🙈

Or at least, let’s hope! 

Thanks to everyone still reading this story. I appreciate all of you xx

Tag List: @noz4a2 @confessionbrain​ @omgeternal​ @potter-solomons​​ @quarterpastmidnight​ @woofgocows​ @shaddixlife​ @redhead7799 @cillmequick​@goddessfuck @peakyscillian

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Part 5. Heart Break of the Century

The family starts to realize that the reader and Noah make a good match. Tommy and the reader begin to realize she has PTSD and start to notice how that impacts her relationships.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in about this series! I really hope that you guys enjoy! <3

Previous parts

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault/abuse, panic attacks, and anxiety about that experience. Nothing is actually described with detail, PTSD, general peaky chaos

Tommy was acutely aware that his daughter had some emotional problems. She didnt run, she wouldn't fight, she would crumple. Exposing something so broken it made his head swim with anger. He wanted to take the coward’s way out and tell Lizzie to speak to her about it. However, not even he knew the extent of how many awful things had happened to Lizzie, he knew it wasn't a topic she handled well. Having her stressed made him extremely anxious about the baby. 

He lay there in bed, thankful beyond belief that you agreed to sleep in their room. That you got into bed with them, that you hadn't changed your view on the two of them. He would need to speak with John and Arthur about how they go about things. 

The look that crossed your face flashed through his mind once more and flinched. 

“Dad” She whispered and startled him slightly. 

“Wot” He whispered back. 

“I don’t hate you for what you and Lizzie went through.” 

“That’s - good.” He said unsure of how to respond. 

“I - I love you both.” She stuttered and his heart broke a little more if possible. 

He sighed. “I love you too.” 

“I’m sorry I collapsed on the floor the other day.” 

“What happened to-” 

“Just a lot of beatings. I don’t exactly hold back what I’m thinking, doesn't make for the best student or daughter.” 

“Just beatings?” He said trying to remain calm, his fingers balled into fists at his side. 

“One particular priest, he – ah” Her voice was thick and he waited to see what she wanted to say. He wouldn't push her, he would make sure no one ever pushed her for anything ever again. “He used to run his hands on me - while punishing me. Could have been a lot worse. He was, as Polly would say, touched by demons.” 

Tommy lay there biting the inside of his cheek. He wasn't a good man, he didnt have words of comfort for her. He felt her move next to him. Her arms wrapped around his right arm and she pressed her face into his shoulder. 

“It doesn't bother me, I just get overwhelmed when men sort of get really angry.” 

“I’m sorry I scared you.” 

“Don’t- I know it’s only because you love me.” 

“Still, don't let men yell at you like that. Not even me.” The thought of Noah bossing her around, shouting at her was enough to make him light a cigarette. It’s a great example he had been setting for her. She was already confused and now- 

“I won’t.” 

He felt her relax and eventually listened to the both of them breathing softly. He relaxed accepting the fact that his mind would not allow him to rest tonight. 

______________________________

Waking up you were relieved to feel both parents still in place beside you. Opening your eyes you found yourself still pressed against Tommy's arm, and you could feel Lizzie’s hand in your hair. 

“Morning” You whispered knowing that Tommy was awake. 

“Morning.” He whispered back. 

“If it's allowed can I go get dressed and see if Noah’s up?” 

“Fine.” He said getting up and stretching. You moved out of the room and quickly got washed and dressed in your room. You fussed over what to wear but decided that a pair of trousers and a long-sleeved top with a wool jumper would be best. Better to be practical when the enemy was afoot. You dashed to the kitchen to make some tea. 

You knocked on his door and heard a muffled grumble on the other side. You slowly pushed the door open while holding two mugs of hot tea. 

“Morning” You whispered before your voice got caught in your throat. He was a crumpled masterpiece. He was sprawled across the bed, sheets a mess. He was topless, and you felt your face get hot. “Oh, I have tea.” 

He quickly got up and grabbed the shirt hanging on the bedpost. He pulled in on and then ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks were pink and suddenly you forgot how to breathe. 

You handed him the mug and sat on the end of the bed realizing you probably should have waited for him to come downstairs. 

“How did you sleep? Was everything comfortable?” You resorted to being a good host for lack of better things to say. 

“Oh erm - ya, it was great.” He said taking a sip of tea. You both caught each other's eye and laughed. 

“Sorry for waking you.” You mumbled into the rim of your mug. 

“Not a bad way to wake up, really.” His eyes were so warm and inviting. “So what are we up to today.” 

“I’m not sure, thought maybe we could go for a walk outside. Play in the snow.” Once you said it you realized how childish it was. 

“They have some important meeting on today so being outside sounds nice.” 

You both drank your tea and Noha put his arm around you. You leaned into his side and watched as more snow fell outside his window. 

__________________

The morning was chaotic and you were grateful you had a half hour of quiet up in Noah’s room before Esme found you. You had to help with breakfast, and then everyone ate together before going in different directions. 

John and Arthur were given a task in the kitchen making calls, Esme and Polly were helping Lizzie while she rested. The kids were to play downstairs for the day, and Tommy and Alfie would be in his office making more calls and strategizing. 

You and Noah weren't given any instruction. You both sat quietly as everyone left the dining room. 

“Guess they forgot us then,” Noah whispered and it was nice not to be the center of attention for once. 

The rest of the morning passed you by sitting with Noah in front of the fireplace in your room. You both chatted and played cards, pretended to be mad when you caught the other cheating. 

Eventually, you got your walk, observing the groups surrounding the house. You were looking at the various fires and wondering if everyone was warm enough when something hard hit your shoulder. Snow flicked up and landed on your cheeks making you jump. 

You whirled around and Noah threw another one at you. This, much like the card games, became a brutal competition. You were both hurling snow at each other at a vicious pace. You could feel the adults looking at the both of you probably judging you but you didnt let it distract you. 

You wanted this boy to surrender. 

A bunch of shouting caused you to turn your head. A snowball caught your cheek and you brushed off the painful sting, eyes still focused on the commotion breaking out at one of the camps. 

“Are you-” 

You didnt let him finish what he was going to say, you ran towards the camp with a feeling of panic rising through you. What if the Changrettas were here? Running towards it wasn’t smart. 

Noah’s arms caught you preventing you from getting any closer. You stopped and he mouthed to be quiet, you gave a nod and he let you go. 

You both moved closer to the camp to see what the commotion was about. Various slurs and swears were being exchanged between the men. No real threat. Just a squabble between the Solomons and Shelbys. 

Relief flooded you and you walked up to the men at the center of it. You heard Noah swear before rushing to your side. 

“What’s the problem?” You looked to Johnny Dogs because you knew him the best. He answered in Romani, which seemed a bit rude but soon Noah was speaking to his men in Hebrew. 

You listened carefully, wanting to make sure you could come up with a reasonable solution. 

______________________________________________

“Tommy - the men are fighting. Think she’s got it under control but it’s not really her place.” Finn was hanging out of the door to his study and the anger was quickly replaced with anxiety. 

Why the fuck were you outside? That was the one thing he told- ah, he didn’t actually remember giving you your tasks for the day at breakfast. Fuck. He apologized and ended the phone call he was having. He and Alfie moved out of the study. 

“She’s a real trouble maker you know that - Noah never sticks his nose where he’s not supposed to. Then she comes around and suddenly he’s always-” 

“Fuck off Alfie.” But they both shut up when they saw the two of them negotiating with each other. Negotiating on behalf of their people, if it was anyone else Tommy would have had to beat the living daylights out of them for overstepping. 

“Now, on our end, we would like to formally apologize for any words of disrespect spoken about anyone's mother.” You spoke clearly. 

“Accepted,” Noah said nodding. 

“Anything else to clear up?” 

“Nah,” Johnny Dogs said with a shrug. 

“Well, in the future, if you insult each other make it more entertaining.” You quipped causing both sides to laugh. “No one likes being cooped up here, try to make the best of it.” Your voice was still light but it had an edge of warning everyone seemed to take seriously. 

Eyes started to land on him and Alfie and they all hummed loudly in agreement. When you looked up at him your mask seemed to falter slightly. You knew it wasn’t your place to do such things, but he knew that you were just trying to be helpful. 

He didnt have to tell you to go inside, you could tell what the look meant. You trudged through the snow back up to the house. 

“Any problems here?” Alfie boomed his voice bouncing off of the snow. 

“No.” then men mumbled or shook their heads. 

“Good.” He responded before walking back up to the house with Noah. 

Tommy stood outside for a long moment. Letting the adrenaline wear off. As much as he hated the boy, the two of them worked well together. If this was anyone else's daughter in the family, he would have gotten them married. Strengthened the alliance a lot more than shipping passageways to New York. 

He shook the idea out of his head. You were 17, and he didnt want you to get married - ever. 

___________________________________________

“Not a bad tactic down there. Very clever” Alfie gave you a pat on the back and your whole shoulder shook from the force of it. You were sat next to him at the dinner table tonight. 

“Erm - Thanks.” 

“Surprisingly the two of you make a pretty decent team,” He said quietly. 

“Oh, yeah I think so.” You said with a blush on your cheeks. Having someone's approval made you happy. 

The next few days everyone kept themselves in check. No drama or nonsense. Tommy had placed you and Noah on kid duty. Meaning there were at least five little kids between the two of you at any given movement. You were happy that Noah didnt seem to mind. He enjoyed spending time with the little ones. 

You felt the tension deep in your stomach, you never got a moment alone with him. Tommy, despite being overworked and overwhelmed seemed to always have something for you to do. Then before you knew it the day had flashed by and you were back in bed with your parents. You missed your room, but you knew that both of them were at their limits.

Lizzie was in bed all day now, she moved around the room and took baths, but didnt join the family for meals. No one could figure out what was wrong with her, just kept insisting she needed to rest. 

While getting ready for bed you noticed a white shirt on folded on the edge of your bed. It was a soft cotton shirt of Noah's. You breathed in his scent and hated how your body felt alive and pained at the same time. You changed into a pair of bottoms and wore his shirt hoping no one would notice. You went into your parent's room and settled in under the heavy blankets.  Lizzie smiled at you with a knowing look in her eye.

You felt both far away from her having been busy all day, yet closer to her as you slept next to her. 

“What’s causing these wrinklers hm?” She said running a thumb between your brow. 

“Do you like Noah?” You asked. She studied your features with a type of sadness you didn't understand. 

“I haven't had a chance to see much of him. Polly adores him, Esme says it will either work out or be the heartbreak of the century. She read his tea leaves though.” You let out a groan of embarrassment. “Says things look promising.” 

“Great.” You whispered feeling her thumb trying to sooth over the wrinkles on your brow again. 

“That’s the risk everyone has to take.” She said softly. 

“I really like him.” You sighed. “I don’t want the heartbreak of the century."

“No one does, but maybe that’s not a part of your story.” She shrugged. You nodded feeling your eyes getting heavy. She continued to run her thumb across your forehead.  

“Will you be alright?” You mumbled.

“Yes, I think most of this is just stress.” You nodded and quietly agreed before falling asleep. 

________________

The tension only got worse as more snow piled onto Arrow house. Anxiety as your father negotiated trade deals and other nefarious things to ensure allies against the Changretta family. The stress of knowing that any of the men he makes a deal with could sell him out.

The radio says the rain was only a few days away, and a sadness filled you at the thought of Noah leaving. You loved having him and Alfie around. 

Things really came to a head when you both were forgotten again. You sneaked up to your bedroom and played cards by the fire. This time it was harder to notice the way his hands brushed yours. How warm his skin was, how his features shone in the firelight. 

He was losing the round and decided to switch tactics by grabbing your face and kissing you. This kiss was as heated as the one at the top of the ferris wheel. Your body hummed with life and a burning sensation that suffocated you. His hands were in your hair and you wanted to drown in him. 

When his hand slipped lower to your throat you nearly jumped out of your skin. The feeling washed over you leaving you stiff as a board. Memories came in and wrapped around your mind like a vice. 

It was inescapable and you moved your body with just enough urgency to just make it to the toilet. You puked hating the way your head was spinning. Noah was there apologizing looking frightened. His hands fluttered around you but you could tell he didnt want to touch you. 

Embarrassment hit you and it was almost as bad as the initial panic. 

“I’m sorry I just.” 

“It’s alright. Can I” He motioned towards you with his hands and you gave him a nod. He flushed the toilet and sat down close to you. 

“I’m sorry-” You started.

“It’s alright, I’m nervous too. I haven't done any of this before.” So he was a virgin. Your mind flashed back to Nancy Wellington in math class going off about how he’d banged a lot of older girls.

“Nancy Wellington told me you’d gotten the clap from a uni girl.” You were desperate for a distraction and blurted it out without thinking. Noah let out a laugh that calmed you down slightly. 

“That’s because I turned her down, she wanted me to take her to the spring dance.” He ran his hand up and down your spine. 

“What happened to you? Is it something I did or-” He deserved an answer as the boy looked tortured over the situation. 

“Well, as you know I came from an orphanage. And I used to get a lot of beatings.” You looked back into the toilet and took a shuttering breath. 

“People used to hit you?” His voice was riddled with anger. 

“My dad also used to hit me a lot.” You added weakly avoiding the next part of the story.

“That’s - just come home with me then. Dad loves you, he won’t care. You can take Lizzie with us if she’s also getting -” His face set into a hard mask, his voice was cold and demanding. 

“No! Not Tommy, my biological father.” 

“You sure?" His eyes narrowed in on you and thankfully you didnt get the usual bout of anxiety. 

“Positive. He looks grumpy, but he’s not with me - he’s never.” You whispered. 

“Right, so the orphanage. How bad was it?” He challenged you keeping your eyes there. Telling him about this made you afraid but his reaction so far had done nothing more than make you fall for him even harder. 

“He just used to choke me -run his hands all over me.” His eyes didn’t move from yours. He didn’t change his expression. He shouldered it like it was business- like he was in the trenches with you. “Still a virgin and everything.” 

“Not what I’m worried about,” Noah said dismissively, his brown eyes still boring into yours. 

“What are you worried about.” You said breathlessly considering throwing up again. You broke your staring contest to look back at the toilet. Your stomach was cramped up into knots. 

“That you're alright, how to help you. What you need. That type of stuff.” Noah ran his hand down your back again. His hands slowly came up avoiding your neck and pulled your hair up. 

“Thanks.” You said weakly. 

He was so comforting that tears formed in your eyes. He made a soothing sound. 

“You're just so nice to me - all the time.” He let out a little chuckle then the door opened further. Your dad’s eyes narrowed in on the situation. He left the room quickly and the panic washed up over you again. You puked again and Noah helped keep you upright. Then Esme was there fussing over the both of you. 

“Was it something you ate, love?” She untied a ribbon from her wrist and tied your hair up. 

“Noah.” Tommy pointed out of the room. You could tell by the boy’s body language this was going to be a fight. “Need to talk to you out here for a moment.” Tommy added quickly.  Noah looked at you and you nodded hoping that it wouldnt be a mess. The anxiety from the situaton only made your stomach roll again. 

Noah moved out of the bathroom and you felt Esme press a cold cloth to your forehead.

______________________

Already have the first bit written for the next part. Let me know what you guys think <3 Thanks again for all the love.

Tags: @sorrygojo @dreamy-caramel @pet1t3

[peakyblindas]

Summer Haze (Tommy Shelby x OFC)

Tommy visits Berkley House one summers afternoon, looking for Fawn and reflects on the woman he once called his.

Tagging: @evita-shelby @zablife

Tommy Shelby always felt unwelcome at Barkley House, He felt as if he’d jumped the fence and snuck into someone else's land and that at any moment he would be shot for trespassing.

“Fi here?” 

He asked, glancing around at the foyer of the house, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of him, Matthew Dormer tried his best to be nice to Tommy, but in his eyes, Tommy could see the hatred, he respected him for at least pretending, he supposed.

“Out in the grounds, shooting I think.”

How a girl like Fawn O’Hart ended up married to a man like Dormer, Tommy would never understand, he was all bright eyed and golden haired, he was raised with all the privileges Fawn and he never had, he was from a completely other world and at one time, Fawn would have spat on his marbled floors and threatened to burn this house down.

Dormer gestured with a paint stained hand, his fingertips were purple, stained, Did he know how stained his wife's hands were with blood? 

“If you go to the stables, Mel can help you saddle up one of the horses..It's far quicker and less muddy than walking.”

Tommy repressed a eye roll, Dormer was such a saint, taking on Fawn’s daughter, Melody, the girls Father was a American, died in a fire before she was even born, but Saint Matthew had officially adopted her when he and Fawn married, he didn’t even care she was half black, it was amazing he didn’t have a halo on his head.

“Aight..” Tommy cleared his throat “Thanks.”

Melody was a good girl, got her Mother’s good nature and wit, she was smart and loved horses, was a natural with them too.

“Uncle Tommy?” She asked as they trotted out of the stables 

“Yes, love?”

“Do you think I can train racehorses one day?”

“Of course, you’re a natural with ‘em, horses are good to folk who are good to them.”

“Mummy says you know a trainer, a Ms. Carleton.” 

“Yes I know Ms. Carleton, she trained one of my horses for me.”

“Would you introduce me to her?”

Tommy laughed, eleven years old and already making connections for future employment, she was Fawn’s daughter all right.

“Of course.”  

They rode in silence for a few minutes, before Melody stopped and Tommy copied

“Mum’s over there, I’m gonna take Galahad to the orchid.” She patted the horse's black mane “It was nice seeing you, Uncle.”

“You too, take care of yourself, alright?”

She nodded and smiled, it was Fawn’s smile, Dottie had inherited it too, As Melody rode away, Tommy found himself hoping that all Dottie had inherited from him was his eyes, God knows he had nothing else to offer her.

Fawn was behind a hill facing a lake, wearing a long black dress that fluttered in the midday breeze, Tommy watched as she raised a rifle and followed a flock of birds, before shooting, one of the birds fell to the floor, dead as a stone.

The wind caught in her hair, long and jet black, she walked through the grass, he remembered when they used to hunt pigeons.

God he loved her, more than anyone else he’d ever claimed to love, she was perfect in every way, she understood him more than anyone, she’d touched his soul with her bare hands and he’d stupidly pushed her away.

She picked up the dead bird and held it by its neck, she rested the rifle on her shoulder and turned, she saw him, and waved the bird, beaming from cheek to cheek, it hurt him to know he wasn’t the real cause of that smile, not really.

“Thomas!” She greeted “Fancy staying for dinner?”

“Of course.” He replied “No place I’d rather be.”

[ijustwant2write]

'This was supposed to be different.'-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @siriuslyshewrote)

MASTERLIST

Requested by anonymous: 'Hi! If you are taking requests can I ask for Finn Shelby and numbers 13, 18 and 19 from the prompt list? My mind went from wanting something romantic to let's create chaos with Finn and try and fail to hide it from his family lol'

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, mentions of Shelby family

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, fluff

13) Well, this is romantic

18) Everyone is staring

19) They definitely heard us

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/N) held back a sigh as she felt another large drop of water hit her head, shivering in the cold despite being wrapped up in a coat and having her boyfriend's arms around her. She didn't want to upset Finn, he had tried really heard, but she just wasn't having a good time.

"Well, this romantic." (Y/N) tried to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about the weather."

Finn had showed up at (Y/N)'s door that morning, having planned a spontaneous picnic date. She had been delighted, he was so cute with his basket of food and blanket wrapped under his arm. But only minutes after they found a spot, settling down and digging into the sandwiches, the rain started to pour. They haphazardly picked up the blanket with the food and basket inside, running for the shelter of the trees, which wasn't doing much in keeping them dry.

"Finn, I don't think the rain is going to stop."

"It might. Let's give it another five minutes."

"You said that fifteen minutes ago."

"Do you want to go home?"

She nodded."I appreciate this my love, but I don't think we should stay out in the rain, we'll get cold."

She didn't like seeing how down he was about this. It wasn't his fault that the rain came, he just hadn't thought to check the weather. (Y/N) smiled up at him, pulling his face towards hers by the back of his neck, and kissing him. She was happy to see him smile back, standing up and offering a hand out to him before they ran back to the car.

It was almost as if the weather was mocking the couple, because when they returned to Small Heath the sun was shining. Finn whined and moaned, making his girlfriend laugh. Instead of heading home, Finn took a sharp turn, making (Y/N) grab onto the inside of the car. She had no idea where he was going, he wouldn't tell her. He parked up by the side of the road by a field, getting out without a word.

"And what are we doing now?" (Y/N) asked as he opened her door.

"Well, we need to finish our picnic."

"I suppose we do. You know what, Finn?"

"What?"

"You really are a hopeless romantic."

Luckily the couple were able to spend the rest of the afternoon finishing their food in the sun. They were so incredibly loved up, and although you could say it was young love, there was definitely a slither of maturity in them both that reflected off of each other. They both found that they had been thinking more about their futures since they decided to become serious. Of course both had though about marriage, what sort of house they might want to live in, basic ideas of their future, but that was before they had each other. The couple had been so giddy and bashful the first time they spoke about the topic of their possible future; the idea of being with each other everyday was very exciting.

The only problem was that the rest of the Shelby's didn't actually know about (Y/N). This had nothing to do with Finn being ashamed of her, or wanting to hide what they had. They never asked for one, they never even asked Finn how his day was. And when he finally tried to speak up about it, his family only spat back at him, saying to marry a woman who didn't like the life, or tease about how he was still a virgin and was making this up to make them think otherwise. He stopped trying, he was happy with his relationship as it was, why let his family ruin it?

(Y/N) had been hurt at first, for quite a while actually. She thought Finn was lying. Her friends had always said about how much boys lie just so they could have their way with you. But Finn wouldn't be taking her out on dates, getting her presents or simply just talking to each other if he wanted a quick shag. He was a Shelby, it was easy for him. And that was another thing that worried (Y/N). If the family didn't like her, and Finn chose them over her, he could easily have another girl on his arm within a day. She didn't voice her opinion a lot (which she should have done), she knew it was hard being part of the Shelby family. However, her love for him was indescribable, (Y/N) had had silly crushes in the past, been out with a few boys but she never felt the way she did about Finn with any of them.

After Finn dropped (Y/N) home, the hardest part of any day, his whole demeanor changed. He didn't want to see his moody family after such a pleasant day. He also wished he could boast about his gorgeous girlfriend. They would love her if they gave (Y/N) the chance.

"Where have you been?" Polly asked as soon as he stepped through the door.

Finn sighed as he took off his coat and hat."Out with my mates."

"A likely story. Come on, your brothers are waiting."ct4

Of course they were, it was no doubt a family meeting. He slumped towards the front room, falling back into the spare spot on the sofa.

"Here he is, fucking finally." Arthur bellowed.

"No one told me there was a meeting."

"You weren't even nearby, no one could find you. Where were you?"

"I just told Pol, I was with my friends."

Tommy huffed."It doesn't matter where he's been. Let's get on with it."

As they began the meeting, Finn could feel and the doom and gloom seeping into himself. It was so depressing here sometimes. He knew he should he grateful for what his brothers provided them with but it didn't come without danger. If he wasn't so sure (Y/N) could handle herself (and his family) he wouldn't have started dating her. He realised he had to keep her safe, teach her a few things about self defence, which he had prayed wouldn't scare her off.

"Whatever girl you're seeing, forget about her." Polly told Finn after the meeting.

Not this again.

"Why don't any of you ever believe what I say?"

"Because your smile wiped off your face as soon as you stepped into the house. And you don't smile like that around your 'mates'."

"Alright, so if I have a girl, why should I do what you say? What if we're happy together?"

"She likes being with a Shelby, it's the name, Finn."

"So no one will like me for me, right?"

"No, Finn I didn't mean-"

Finn brushed past her and headed upstairs."Night Pol."

He was restless that night, tossing and turning but finding no peace. He felt slightly bad for how he spoke to his aunt, but she could sometimes be just as bad as the others. All he wanted to do was see (Y/N), then he would be at comfort.

Finn wouldn't have to wait as long as he thought. The next morning he was alone in the house until someone knocked on the door. Not a lot of people would have the nerve to knock on a Shelby's door, making him cautious. When he slowly opened the door to see (Y/N) he was both surprised and ecstatic to see her.

"What are you doing here love?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"If you weren't smiling, I would have been offended at that question."

"Sorry, but you know you shouldn't have come without telling me."

It had become a rule to not meet at Finn's house, in case his family saw her before him and scared her off, or were just plain rude to her.

"Well, I had to return this." she held up his pocket watch."Found in beside mum's flower bed."

Finn took it from her, he hadn't even realised he lost it."Oh, thanks. What would I do without you?"

He leaned down to peck her on the lips, noticing her smile dropped slightly when they pulled away.

"(Y/N), what's wrong? I know when you're sad."

"I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Fuck, you're not pregnant are you?"

"No! Can I please come inside?"

Finn glanced behind him, despite no one else being home. They wouldn't be back for a few hours, he was safe. Standing back, he gestured for her to step inside, watching as she looked around the place. She had never seen the inside of Finn's house before, trying to take it all in, in case the opportunity never came again.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Finn asked as they sat down in the front room.

She saw him clutching at the watch, bouncing his knee. He was nervous.

"I've just been thinking about a lot of things to do with us."

Shit, was his worst fear coming true?

"Us? Has my family said something to you?"

"No, and that's the problem."

"What?"

"Finn, we've been together for a while now. And I understand I've not properly met your family due to some circumstances, but it's not normal."

"My family aren't normal."

"And I understand that, but...I feel like you're trying to hint at something."

"If you're on about me not wanting you around anymore then you're completely wrong. I don't want to subject you to their nastiness. They literally don't give two shits about me anymore, so they won't care about you. I'm sorry (Y/N), that's just the way my fucked up family is."

"Maybe if we show them how serious we are, talk about our plans, they might listen. They'll see you as a grown up."

"And if they're not? If they don't care about us and are disrespectful to you?"

"I don't care. We have to at least try."

Finn ran a hand down his face, contemplating what she was saying. He knew what she meant, it wasn't fair that he was hiding her away. It wasn't fair that he had met her family and spent time with them and not even attempted to introduce her. He was just so scared of losing her, he could see his family ruining it all for him.

"I...I don't know (Y/N)."

She stood out of frustration, raising her voice."Why not? How would you feel if I hid you away from my family? I always have to lie when people ask have I met the famous Shelby family. My parents think I've met them too. I didn't want them to get angry with you. But now, it's starting to get to me, I just don't think it's fair."

"You know the situation I'm in. And you've also got to think, do you really want this? Do you want to be stuck with a disfunctional family that are a ruthless gang, with enemies everywhere they step?"

"Yes! Because I have you, Finn! If I didn't love you so much then I would have left a long time ago!"

Finn heard all too familiar voice outside, panic instantly setting it. Without a word, he grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, pulling her upstairs. She almost toppled over as she struggled to keep up with his long legs, stumbling through to Finn's bedroom. He closed the door, not slamming in as to not alert his family. He was breathing heavily, listening to his family walking into the house, muffled voices telling him there were multiple people inside.

"What the hell Finn? You're literally hiding me away from your family!"

"It's a lot to think about!" he harshly whispered.

"Finn, if you loved me then none of this would matter. I understand you're hesitant to tell your family-"

"Well clearly you don't understand, because you wouldn't keep nagging me about it."

"Nagging you? Nagging you?! I'm asking for a simple thing Finn. If we're going to have the future together that we planned, I'll have to meet them at some point."

"We'll just leave, we won't see them. It's not like they'll care."

"I can't make you do that Finn, as sweet as that is. I don't want to run from them. I want them to be part of our lives."

"You might change your mind after you meet them."

"So I will be meeting them?"

"That's all you took from that?"

"I'm actually getting angry Finn, I don't want us to argue."

"What have we been doing for the last ten minutes?"

"What if I told them myself? What if I go down there right now? And you can tell everyone how I'm just a girl you're sleeping with, you can make up a lie because that's what you would do. You wouldn't even admit it!"

"I would never say that about you!"

"I'm going home, Finn. I'll talk to you when you remember I'm your girlfriend who you're supposed to love."

Finn immediately blocked the door. (Y/N) huffed, frowning at him.

"You're not just my girlfriend now."

"What?"

Finn made a beeline for his bedside table, angrily opening the drawer and taking something out of it. (Y/N) couldn't see what it was as he had his back to her. She watched as he took a deep breath, shoulders relaxing slightly before he turned around.

"This was supposed to be different. I know I've been a shit boyfriend. I know you're upset about not meeting my family. I am not ashamed of you, I couldn't be prouder of you and I love to show you off. You're gorgeous, you're perfect, I'm incredibly lucky to be able to call you mine. Not only that, but you're so caring, you look after me, even after I come in after a stupid gun fight which I never tell you about, but that will change. I need to let you into my life more, you deserve to know what's happening. And I'm sorry for making you upset, you have every right to be mad at me. I want to change all that, and to prove my love for you," he lowered down onto one knee, producing a ring box from behind his back, opening it to reveal the engagement ring (Y/N) had desired,"I need to ask you something. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?"

(Y/N) had started crying as soon as he got down on one knee, overwhelmed with happiness. She was in hysterics as she screamed 'yes' over and over, jumping up and down. He laughed as he slipped the ring on her finger, scooping her up into his arms. They hugged tightly, kissing each other multiple times and passionately. After a few minutes, he set her back down, sharing one last kiss.

"They definitely heard us." (Y/N) giggled.

"They definitely heard you."

They were both correct when they heard movement downstairs, soon after footsteps coming upstairs. Finn sighed, he had to face them now.

"Finn," it was Tommy,"finish off with the girl, pay her dues and send her on her way."

Finn was instantly fuming at his brother's words. How dare he talk about (Y/N) in that way?! Without thinking, he threw open the door, Polly was also there.

"Don't talk about (Y/N) like that ever again! She is not a whore, she is not having sex with me for money. (Y/N) is my fiance, and I am going to marry her. No, she's not pregnant, I've proposed because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. So she's going to be a Shelby, and you're going to give her the respect she deserves. "

Polly glanced back at the young girl, looking her up and down. She had to admit, the girl wasn't backing down. She was looking strong, and not intimidated.

"Are you fucking serious?" Tommy mumbled.

"Yes. Meet (Y/N) (Y/L/N), soon to be (Y/N) Shelby, your sister-in-law."

"Whatever. Bring her downstairs."

Tommy turned around, Polly following after him, but not without another glance at the couple.

(Y/N) had appreciated Finn sticking up for her. It was so sweet, he had proven his love, though not exactly in the way they wanted; but they realised it didn't really matter how he proposed, they just wanted to be together and that was enough.

"Shit, am I really going down there to meet them?" (Y/N) suddenly grew nervous.

"You had some big balls earlier, backing out now?" Finn teased.

"Stop, this is serious."

"I'll be beside you the whole time. You're my girl, you always will be."

Finn kept a tight hold of her hand as they made their way downstairs. He could feel her hands getting clammy, quickly placing a kiss on the back of it. He knew she would be fine, she was strong, but her being nervous meant she cared.

As they entered the front room, they saw Thomas, Polly, Arthur and John. God, it was all of them. They sat on the only sofa available.

"Everyone is staring." (Y/N) subtly whispered.

"Let them. You're a fucking Shelby now, you're family and you're mine."

[writers-hes]

ATTENTION:

I'm planning to write a hurt/comfort Tommy Shelby x Reader that's mostly angsty. Would you be interested in it? It will have at least four parts (a limited fic) and the story will be set pre-war, post-war, and a bit of during-war. It will be dark and will obviously be for adult audiences and I have the story planned out! This is me crowdsourcing if anyone would be interested in it.

A little synopsis: You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both.

It’s not like Tommy Shelby x Lizzie Stark at all, I promise.

Thoughts? (Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated!)

P.S. If you guys like it, I will be opening a separate taglist!

(tagging those who might be interested: @runnning-outof-time - I know I had an idea about a Detective!Reader but this ome is appealing to me…)

[look-at-the-soul]

Every little thing you do- Part 5

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series master list

I changed slightly what I already had written after reading someone’s comment on the previous part 🤭 I always love reading what you think, sometimes it even sparks an idea or two… 🥰

Word count: 3,213

Y/N walked excitedly through the Shelby Company headquarters. She was granted with the permission to open the Shelby Institute, it was incredible how much Tommy’s contacts helped her speed up the process. Now she’d need to interview and recruit teachers, cleaning personnel, a couple of secretaries and enroll the children for the upcoming school year.

But as she got closer, Tommy’s shouting became clearer.

“Don’t fucking try to trick me, Lizzie.” He warned.

Then Y/N flinched when Lizzie raised her voice. “What’s your fucking problem then? If I sleep with Angel, his father or his cousin it’s none of your business!”

“Of course it’s my business!” He exploded. Anger raising at the thought the Changrettas getting sensitive information from his secretary, Lizzie had a big mouth when she wanted to. In more ways than one. “How much is Changretta paying you?”

“So you can choose who I sleep with,” Lizzie spat, “but you are covering Y/N’s pregnancy and treating her as if she was a Shelby!”

She was now able to understand all the secrecy around Tommy’s confident, why suddenly everyone wanted to make sure she was alright, why she was around more frequently. The thought of Y/N fulfilling all the dreams that belonged to her, made Lizzie go mad.

What was happening with the Changretta family? Y/N wondered as she overheard the heated exchange coming from Tommy’s office. The last thing she knew about them was when Danny Whizzbang was falsely killed in front of the Italians. But that was a few years back.

“I know her parents kicked her out.” Y/N heard Lizzie again. “What? You thought I wouldn’t find out? So now you’re pretending to be the perfect little family?”

That’s why Scott disappeared overnight. Lizzie wondered for how long they’ve been fooling everyone.

“Since when do I have to give you explanations, ey? You’re not answering me! What have you told Angel about us?” His hands shook her shoulders abruptly.

“Oh please! Don’t give yourself that much importance, the last thing we do is talk about you. And you don’t have the right to question my decisions, when you’re supporting Y/N and her bastard.”

That last statement was enough for Y/N to feel her blood boiling.

“Repeat that in my face. I dare you.” She opened the door with such force that it slammed against the wall behind. Lizzie paled.

Tommy recognized that look, he barely had time to react and intercepted Y/N midway.

“Y/N calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Y/N shouted, if it wasn’t for Tommy she would’ve already slapped Lizzie. “I’m tired of this, everybody thinks they can call my child bastard just because I’m not married.” She had to bite her tongue to stop her from telling a truth or two to Lizzie. She rarely got angry but once she did, there was no going back.

“Lizzie get out, I don’t want to see you.” Tommy barked as he tried to help Y/N to sit down. Then he realized they had an audience outside his office. “What are y’all doing there?! Go back to work!”

Once he had her settled on the couch, he offered Y/N a glass of water.

“Don’t let her words sink in. It’s bullshit.” He tried, but Y/N was still altered.

“She from all of the people, dares to point her finger at me.” Y/N said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “And just because I thought Scott was-” she trailed off.

“You’re much better without him, you know that right?” Tommy crouched down, to be at her level.

“Will this ever stop?” Y/N’s voice cracked by the end, emotions at its highest.

“I’ll shoot anyone who dares to say anything like that again.”

His hands tried to calm her trembling fingers. His words managed to earn a small smirk from her, Tommy’s words managed to make her feel better momentarily. But she couldn’t help but wonder for how long she’d be able to deal with comments like that. She’s need to create a shell around her, a thick skin as Ada had told her. Give zero fucks about others people’s opinions.

“It’s like I’ll have it tattooed in my forehead for the rest of my life.”

“What the hell happened?” John demanded to know.

“Get some men to follow Lizzie, she’s been seeing Angel Changretta and we don’t know what kind of information she’s been giving them.”

“Ah the brat!” John made an annoyance face and stormed off.

To try to calm the anger raising, Tommy poured himself a glass of whiskey, not wanting to snap at Y/N for the previous altercation with Lizzie.

The Italians had always give him and his people a bad blood, they thought they were better than anyone else. And in the long run, a relationship between his secretary and one of the Changrettas would bring him more problems than good. Lizzie knew way too much about the business, he couldn’t just fire her.

He needed to find a loose end, something to stop them, to show his power over the Italians. He needed a plan…

Love and sex are a dangerous thing, people get blinded by it and he could’ve a snitch under his nose, he needed to be more cautions with the people he hired and make it clear the unwritten rules and conditions to work for him.

“I should’ve told you sooner.” Y/N mumbled, feeling guilty.

“You knew?” The frown on his brow intensified.

“Not exactly, but one day she started making weird comments about a date and her love life and oh this incredible man…” Y/N shook her face. “I thought she was just bluffing.”

“Yeah you should’ve. But it doesn’t matter now…” he trailed off going for a glass of whiskey, it was still early but he felt like a lion in a cage.

Y/N noticed the way his mind was working, already anticipating to endless possible scenarios and outcomes. Then he paused to rest his arms against a chair and let his head hang loose. The straps of the holster tightened around his shoulders and back, his muscles flexed under the shirt.

“Are you jealous?”

Tommy’s head snapped at Y/N’s words. Taking him by surprise.

“As if you didn’t knew me, you from all of them.” Tommy scoffed, but his eyes softened. “Really? You think I’d be jealous for Lizzie?”

Y/N blushed embarrassed for asking something so intimate. It wasn’t her business.

“Forget I said anything.” She looked in the opposite direction.

“Look at me.” Tommy pleaded with a deep voice. “Lizzie… is not the type of woman that would make a man jealous.” How could he say it nicely? Lizzie was a whore, he didn’t judge her though… But he tried to be cautious with his words.

It took Y/N a moment to register what Tommy meant. But she got the hint wrong. “I get it… just like me, right?”

Mortified, Tommy placed his hands on her shoulders. “No, no that’s not what I was trying to say.” The last thing he wanted to was to hurt her.

“Sure.”

“Y/N…” Tommy whispered, using his forefinger to tilt her head up. “You’re different.”

“The only difference is that she gets paid.” Y/N shuddered, accepting her new reality.

“That’s not true and you know it.” He was too close for her to smell his aftershave and cologne.

His thumb caressing softly her chin.

Shaking her head, she took a step back, but the bold movement made her feel dizzy, her head started spinning.

“What is it?” He asked with worry. “Are you alright?”

Y/N let him guide her to the closest chair. “Yes, it’s just this dizziness, it will go away in a minute.”

But despite Y/N’s efforts to calm him down, Tommy got worrier by the minute.

“Do you need anything?” He eyed Y/N, trying to read her expressions.

“No, thanks.”

“Y/N tell me what I can do for you.” Tommy kneeled before her.

The way he showed her that he genuinely cared about her, melted her heart. Having Tommy’s support meant to her more than words could express.

“I swear I’m fine.”

“Are you feeling poorly?” Polly stepped into Tommy’s office.

“She got dizzy.” He answered for Y/N, looking at his aunt.

“I’ll make you some tea.” She announced before giving Y/N a gentle squeeze on her arm. “Keep her with her head up until it pases, then bring her to the house, I need to speak to you.”

Polly’s look didn’t go unnoticed by Tommy.

He knew those eyes and something was happening, and judging by the look in them it had to be serious.

“I just came to tell you that you can set now the date to open the Institution as soon as we get the personnel.” Y/N announced with her eyes still closed.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard today.” The smile he gave her, was inevitable. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I don’t think you want to go through the interviews and stuff.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him.

“No.” Tommy answered bluntly.

“That’s what I thought.” She gave him a smile that made him notice something else in her features, something that she didn’t have before, or at least he haven’t noticed… until now.

“Okay so you can sign those papers for me so I can go and sort this out?”

Tommy took the folder and placed his signature on the papers without even reading it. “You’re not taking off my money right?” He joked, the light mood in his voice mirrored in his eyes.

“Absolutely how do you think I’ll feed this baby?” She kept the joke going, feeling a bit better.

“Let me know how this goes.” He saw Y/N take her belongings and the papers. “Y/N how about a party to raise funds for the project? The school needs funding.”

Y/N ran her hand on the door thinking about it.

“A… fancy party?”

Tommy nodded. “With waiters and champagne and shit.” He had access now to the elite members club, people with enough money in their accounts to end poverty but selfish enough to not give away a single coin.

“Could you organize it?” He asked hiding his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, I can do that.” Excitement made her skin tingle, she had never been to a party like that, only once when Lady Winchester requested her to be by her side, but her place was to be back in the shadows, not as a guest.

“You’ll need a dress then. And some fancy shoes too.”

A dress! He had said a dress! She couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of it, she, a no body getting all dressed up to attend a rich people gathering while several weeks pregnant.

“You must not spare on anything, alright? I’ll give you a blank check so you can arrange all of it.” He explained proudly. His dreams finally materializing.

Y/N took in his success, all of the things he ever wanted, he never stopped, never complained. No, instead he focused on finding a way to do all that would take him to where he wanted to be.

His hard work and intelligence was admirable. He never relied on excuses. And despite what everyone might think of his imposing presence, he had a heart of gold and a genuine interest to help.

“Tommy?” Her soft voice pulled him out of his daydream. His blue eyes fixed on hers. “I’m so proud of you.”

She didn’t know how much her words meant to him. How he’d treasure and savor their taste… Y/N was the only person that saw him crying over his mother’s grave, she had been the one who helped him to be a part of the man he used to be when he got back from France, she heard him talk for hours of the horrors he had seen. And now she was helping him materialize his dreams, but in a very subtle way because she wasn’t impressed or interested in the luxury he could afford, she didn’t assume he’d give her everything, no, she wanted to work hard by herself to earn it. She wasn’t accepting anything more than what she thought was fair.

In a world where he could easily get confused and loose sight of what really matters, she was keeping him grounded.

“Do you want to have dinner in your office?” Y/N asked Tommy as she found him in the hall.

After looking at his clock, he guarded it safely again in his pocket, trying to keep his nerves at bay, he had a secret meeting with Churchill in a desert road, he wanted to share some more instructions about the upcoming deal with the Russians and not having total control over when and how things would happen was driving Tommy mad. This was a very delicate matter and the slightest mistake could get them all murdered in a heartbeat.

“No, actually I’ve to go.”

Touching her arm and giving her a gentle squeeze, Tommy asked her to be safe before walking outside. His vehicle roared as he exited the property and Y/N found herself eating alone in the huge dining table.

For her own safety it was better if Y/N didn’t get involved in this. Russians simply didn’t care about anyone, they were fucking mad. He had been actually considering asking Y/N to go somewhere else safe, but knowing her the way he did, she’d take it badly, as if he was trying to get rid of her.

Y/N glanced at the window, it was dark. But she knew it wasn’t her place to ask anything else. Where could he go at this time of the night? With who?

As much as her bond was so close to Tommy, she needed to realize they weren’t stitched or glued to each other and Tommy generally was extremely reserved about his private affairs.

Being alone made Y/N feel miserable and sad, her whole days were filled with lots of people at the Shelby Company Ltd, or the tea time with her grandma at the Garrison or the moments she shared with Tommy once they arrived at Arrow House. So now being by herself it felt so different…so lonely.

“Mary could you please prepare a tea for me?” Y/N asked politely after finishing her dinner.

“I only serve Mr. Shelby ma’am.” The maid added before walking away.

In a few words, she made very clear that Y/N’s presence wasn’t as welcomed as she thought. And her loyalty was reserved for her master, not his unwelcome guest. So without another word, Y/N picked up her dirty dishes and brought it downstairs.

“Miss Y/LN what are you doing?” Asked one of the maids as the chef wiped his hands with his apron.

“I’m going to wash these.” Y/N stated firmly, voice close to break after the humiliating moment she went through with Mary.

If things were as they should be, Y/N would be working under Mary’s supervision.

“Absolutely not, let me handle this.” Gently, the maid retrieved the items and gave the pregnant woman a look. “Can I help you with anything else? Some desert?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, thanks. Where’s the kettle?” She asked instead. This place was huge and there was a walk-in pantry and everything was organized meticulously.

“This is because of Mary right?” Y/N fixed her eyes on the young girl. “What did she do?” But then she placed her hand on her lips, as if trying to say she messed up. “Apologies I shouldn’t have.”

“No, it’s fine… it’s not like I’m Mrs. Shelby.” She sighed and twisted nervously the bow at the front of her blouse. “She reminded me of my place in this house, that’s all.”

The young maid exploded. “She thinks she’s better than the rest of us, just because she’s in charge of everything.”

Y/N studied her features, noticing her reaction was genuine.

“She’s always criticizing the way I do my job, it’s never good enough. And Mr. Shelby doesn’t even care…”

“I know this isn’t my business.” The chef caught her attention. “But she had been complaining about you to every member of the staff, she doesn’t understands why she has to attend you and do things for you when you’re not married to Mr. Shelby.” Duncan explained as he cleaned the stove.

“Oh I’ve heard her plenty of times too, you should talk to Mr. Shelby.” The kind maid suggested.

But Y/N shook her head and thanked the woman for preparing a tea for her. “No, I’m not here to cause Tommy more trouble. And he needs Mary to take care of everything.”

All of this was because Mary had very inflexible thoughts about premarital sex, she was always murmuring “this offends the Lord… or Lord forgive them for that.” So with Y/N being pregnant and living with a man without being married, this was a sin. Y/N was a sinner and in her eyes, she didn’t deserve even a bloody cup of tea.

“Thanks for the tea and the company. I’m sure Tommy wouldn’t mind if you got to have some rest early, all the chores pending can be done in the morning.” Y/N gave them both a smile and rushed upstairs to her bedroom.

The place was huge and she made sure to lock her door, a constant fear of some intruder breaking into the mansion made her feel uneasy. Tommy had a bunch of enemies after all, they wouldn’t care about harming her or her baby just to get to Tommy.

It was too late now to regret anything, it wouldn’t change the course of things. But sitting on the ottoman by the window, she let her mind wander to think of her baby, to imagine if would it be a girl or a boy?

She wondered how would it feel the kicks and her baby would like to hear her singing a lullaby to sleep. Polly already warned her that she’d buy a stroller and a crib for when the baby is born and her grandmother was already knitting some shoes and a blanket. Esme promised to give her a box full of clothes of all sizes so she could choose what to keep, each gesture kept touching her heart, to realize how generous they all were to her, never making her feel bad or unwelcome. She would make sure to let her baby know of all the love that surrounded them even before the birth.

Y/N knew that sometimes blood means nothing sadly, but life always brings a good group of people to replace the others.

But thankfully her baby would’ve lots of arms to cuddle on and a loving chosen family to rely on.

Part 6

Master list

Thank you so much for reading ! ✨🥰 I hope you like this part, as usual, your words is what keeps this going xx

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[potter-solomons]

Alfie fanfic: I think I've read it all. Currently in the middle of a few bring updated still.

I need some good longer ones. Slow burn or quick. I like smut but it doesn't have to contain it. It's just a plus.

I've gone through most of the tag on AO3. I've been rereading those on there and on here.