#if the red door never existed im literally gonna cry. she makes me so sad. it’s like seeing cersei age 13 you know. not just the after where

[atopvisenyashill]

i accidentally went down the fake dany rabbit hole on reddit and to be clear, i think it’s fun to think about but it’s absolutely not gonna happen BUT one of the main pieces of evidence for this is…A Thing and that’s Dany’s memory of the House With The Red Door:

…one night Ser Willem Darry and four loyal men had broken into the nursery and stolen them both, along with her wet nurse, and set sail under cover of darkness for the safety of the Braavosian coast.

She remembered Ser Willem dimly, a great grey bear of a man, half-blind, roaring and bellowing orders from his sickbed. The servants had lived in terror of him, but he had always been kind to Dany. He called her "Little Princess" and sometimes "My Lady," and his hands were soft as old leather. He never left his bed, though, and the smell of sickness clung to him day and night, a hot, moist, sickly sweet odor. That was when they lived in Braavos, in the big house with the red door. Dany had her own room there, with a lemon tree outside her window. After Ser Willem had died, the servants had stolen what little money they had left, and soon after they had been put out of the big house. Dany had cried when the red door closed behind them forever.

She mentions the lemon tree more than once:

All that Daenerys wanted back was the big house with the red door, the lemon tree outside her window, the childhood she had never known.

And again she sees it in the house of the undying:

And there outside the window, a lemon tree! The sight of it made her heart ache with longing. It is the house with the red door, the house in Braavos. No sooner had she thought it than old Ser Willem came into the room, leaning heavily on his stick. "Little princess, there you are," he said in his gruff kind voice. "Come," he said, "come to me, my lady, you're home now, you're safe now." His big wrinkled hand reached for her, soft as old leather, and Dany wanted to take it and hold it and kiss it, she wanted that as much as she had ever wanted anything.

But we get it mentioned several times that there are not citrus trees in Braavos. Sam says it here:

Trees did not grow on Braavos, save in the courts and gardens of the mighty.

And then there is Arya's description:

Braavos, devoid of grass and trees ... They have no trees, she realized. Braavos is all stone, a grey city in a green sea. ... In the forest, they see all. but there are no trees here ...

Now, this could mean she stayed with the Sealord of Braavos, since he signed the marriage contract with Dorne as a witness:

"It is a secret pact," Dany said, "made in Braavos when I was just a little girl. Ser Willem Darry signed for us, the man who spirited my brother and myself away from Dragonstone before the Usurper's men could take us. Prince Oberyn Martell signed for Dorne, with the Sealord of Braavos as witness." She handed the parchment to Ser Barristan, so he might read it for himself. "The alliance is to be sealed by a marriage, it says. In return for Dorne's help overthrowing the Usurper, my brother Viserys is to take Prince Doran's daughter Arianne for his queen."

Except George has been Cagey As Fuck about this when asked TWO separate times:

Q: “Dany remembers a lemon tree outside the house with the red door in Braavos, but citrus trees shouldn’t really grow in Braavos’s cold, foggy climate. Is this discrepancy significant? Does it point to future revelations about Dany’s past. Thank you so much.”

GRRM: “Very perceptive of you. Yes, it does point to … well, that would be telling.”

And again here:

Question: “How old was Daenerys when she left the house with the red door, was it located close to the palace of the Sealord of Braavos?”

Answer: “That’s a interesting question. But I don’t think I’m going to answer it. There’s a certain revelation about the red door that will come into the books that I have yet to write. So we’ll keep an eye to it.”

Obviously there’s the whole lemongate thing, with some saying this means she’s a fake - some say Blackfyre, some say Rhaegar’s daughter. I think it’s more likely her memory is just faulty; she was so young when this happened, and we see Ned, Sansa, and Bran misremember things that traumatized them because it’s a very common coping mechanism. There’s theories around her memory as well - she was in Tyrosh or she was in Dorne.

But for me, it’s more about WHY he’s being cagey and WHY there’s this discrepancy in her memory. If she was really in Tyrosh or Myr or Dorne, why does that matter? I think it’s something that will only matter to Daenerys, and not the plot at large. Will she find the house with the red door or hear the story from Doran (or Areo??) and find out she misremembered that way? And why will it affect her? I’m not sure if “Daenerys realizes even those memories are tainted by the fact that she was only in Dorne because of politics and was sent out of Dorne and safety and now holds a grudge” because…the memories are already tainted by how sick Willem Darry was as he was dying.

Like, “Dany was Rhaegar’s daughter raised by Willem Dustin then sold to Illyrio and passed off as Rhaella’s last child who actually died, because it puts Viserys ahead of her in succession and gives him a Targaryen bride to marry or sell off and Viserys has spent the last few years torturing her into thinking she’s his sister, the same way Ramsey tortures Theon into being another person” is such a crackhead theory lmao but a revelation like that would shake Dany to her core. “Dany misremembered Dorne as Braavos” like that’s such a nothingburger so WHAT IS GOING ON. If she just invented a happier memory for herself to hold onto, what is the original memory hiding? Is it not even real, and while the lemon tree is our sign the memory is fake, the real secret is the red door and it’s going to be some metaphor for something?

The House With The Red Door represents everything Dany really wants from her life deep down and that’s to belong somewhere. So what I’m leaning towards is it’s not even a real memory, just something she cobbled together from several of Viserys’ stories. It’s not just that the lemon tree and red door were in the wrong place but none of it existed. Not the peace she had, not Willem Darry. That seems devastating enough that if none of it was real, that she can never find peace, that the red door she was chasing all these years never existed. I think it might be, emotionally, a big step in her deciding to burn king’s landing.

But it was not the plains Dany saw then. It was King's Landing and the great Red Keep that Aegon the Conqueror had built. It was Dragonstone where she had been born. In her mind's eye they burned with a thousand lights, a fire blazing in every window. In her mind's eye, all the doors were red.

and later on:

She saw sunlight on the Dothraki sea, the living plain, rich with the smells of earth and death. Wind stirred the grasses, and they rippled like water. Drogo held her in strong arms, and his hand stroked her sex and opened her and woke that sweet wetness that was his alone, and the stars smiled down on them, stars in a daylight sky. "Home," she whispered as he entered her and filled her with his seed, but suddenly the stars were gone, and across the blue sky swept the great wings, and the world took flame.

If there was never any red door, never a lemon tree, if even her sweet memories of Willem Darry are somehow false, just a scared child trying to make sense of the world, I think that loss will completely push her towards the path of destruction, and she won’t just embrace the dragon, she’ll embrace its devastation as well. Behind the red door isn’t her salvation, only destruction.

The door loomed before her, the red door, so close, so close, the hall was a blur around her, the cold receding behind. And now the stone was gone and she flew across the Dothraki sea, high and higher, the green rippling beneath, and all that lived and breathed fled in terror from the shadow of her wings. She could smell home, she could see it, there, just beyond that door, green fields and great stone houses and arms to keep her warm, there. She threw open the door. “… the dragon …” And saw her brother Rhaegar, mounted on a stallion as black as his armor. Fire glimmered red through the narrow eye slit of his helm. “The last dragon,” Ser Jorah’s voice whispered faintly. “The last, the last.” Dany lifted his polished black visor. The face within was her own.

GEORGE I AM IN YOUR WALLS

[creepytoes88]

Angry sex with Vinnie

So this is a very bratty reader and there is hitting in this I AM NOT ROMANTICIZING ABUSE! I can NOT stress this ENOUGH

THIS IS A EXTREMELY DEGRADING SMUT

But this might be one of my favorites I choose Bryce cus he’s problematic so it seemed realistic to me just imagine him and Addison aren’t a thing lol COVID DOESN’T EXIST IN ANY OF MY STORIES Covid makes me sad 😢 OK LOVE YOU GUYSSSSS ♥️🤌🥸

I’m almost done getting ready when I hear Vinnie come in the room. Vinnie and I are going to Jake pauls ( he literally has nothing to do with the story) party or one of the biggest parties in LA everyone gets shit-faced and either you have to crash there or you have to get a Uber. Needless to say, I'm scared shitless but I'm not gonna let Vinnie know that he's way too excited for me to bail on him. So I just keep getting ready and keep telling myself tonight's gonna be great, because it is gonna be great. Vinnie comes into the bathroom with his hair maintained and non-frizzy no matter how much I wanted to run my hands through it, I also knew Vinnie would KILL me so I resisted.

”Hey you,” I say with a smile ���Hey you look hot,” Vinnie says looking me up and down, I stopped and turned around with a straight face ”and absolutely breathtaking just say the word, and ill go ring shopping m’lady. Vinnie says with a shit-eating grin as he bows to me I smile ”well now that you mention it...” I place my finger on my chin pretending to think about it ” I would love a ring pop” I continue to do my make up as Vinnie chuckles. He walks up behind me wrapping his hands around my hips rubbing his thumbs on my dress before leaning into my ear

”you look amazing baby” he kisses the side of my neck ” I could take you right now,” Vinnie says in a deep voice. I turn around putting my hand on his chest ”don’t even think about it, I love you but we have to leave in 20 minutes and I'm still not done with my make-up.” I turn around again continuing to do my make up I feel a slap on my ass. I gasp at the sting of the hit ”such a brat.” Vinnie kisses your neck again before leaving the bathroom It's gonna be a long night.

Time skip to party

As soon as we pull up to the party a group of Vinnie's friends immediately take him away to play beer pong. I roll my eyes as I walk to Maddy and Avani, we get drinks and walk to the dance floor, about an hour has passed, and was done dancing and kinda just wanted to check on Vinnie. I stand up and tell the girls I'm gonna find Vinnie they nod and I walk in the direction he went when the boys pulled him away. Just more dancing people but no Vinnie, ok maybe the back yard I walk towards the back door and as I step out did I hear the most the last thing I wanted to hear ”KICK HIS ASS VINNIE” I hear people yelling ”FUCK YEA, GET HIM VINNIE ” I see Jordan and Kio high-five as they encourage Vinnie to beat the crap of someone. I run over to Jordan and Kio ”What the fuck is wrong with you guys stop him!” I screech at them Jordans head whips around with scared eyes as he runs to me and grabs me ”stop you didn’t see what happened and what Bryce said!” ” He fucking deserves it!” Kio yells kinda drunk.

Vinnie's POV

After the boys came and pulled me away from Y/n we played pong and shotgun a couple of claws (gross) before I know it I was feeling the alcohol. As I'm talking to Jordan and Kio I feel a slap on my shoulder ”ssssssup man” Bryce wraps his arm around my shoulder. I could smell the alcohol on his breath not that his slurring wasn't enough evidence to show he's drunk off his ass. ”hey bro what's up?” I ask

”not much but *burp* I do wanna tell you *hiccup* that Y/n looks like a million dollars tonight man” I look at him as I try to keep me cool knowing he's just drunk ”Like honestly dude*hiccup* if you weren't dating her I would totally hit it *hiccup* like her ass is perfect man, and her tits dude. Does she ever wear a bra I can always see her *hiccup* nips but it makes me so horny man?” Bryce laughs as he claps me on the back. I look at Jordan and Kio who look at me shocked, unfortunately for Bryce, I was far too buzzed to even think about what I was doing before my fist collided with his face.

Y/n’s POV

I push my way through the crowd and when I get to the front I see Vinnie on top of Bryce trying to curve his face in, both of his fists pounding into Bryce's face. ”VINNIE STOP” I scream immediately he stops and turns around seeing my scared face he stands up coming towards me but I walk past him going straight to Bryce and start to shake him. I hear him groan ”are you ok?” I ask as he slowly opens his eyes ”look I'm in Heaven” Bryce says with a wink before passing out all the sudden I'm being pulled up by my arm like a child. I look up to see an extremely angry Vinnie I could see him shaking with anger. ”ow Vinnie you're hurting me” I whine as I try to pry his hand off of my arm ”VINNIE STOP” I yell at him in front of everyone.

”YOU CAN’T JUST GET JEALOUS, BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE! AND THEN YOU WANT TO DRAG ME OUT OF THE PARTY LIKE A FUCKING KID I THINK THE FUCK NOT!” I yell at him with sass. As soon as the words leave my mouth I see his usually sweet and loving eyes change before me becoming almost emotionless. They fill with absolute rage Vinnie narrows his eyes at me picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder holding my legs so I can't kick him.

”PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW!” I pound my fists into his back and scream having an absolute tantrum, I'm so angry that I'm seeing red, not a few minutes later I was put on the ground.

Before I could push him away I was turned around and push against the car ”such a fucking brat!” He slaps my ass

”fuck you,” I say as I try to get my hands free I hear the car door open then the back of the seat being moved. Vinnie sits in the car pulling me I'm with him so I'm sitting on his lap and start to push on his chest to get away I know what's about to happen and I know it gonna hurt a lot. ”STOP YOU FUCKING BRAT!” Vinnie yells and finally holding my hands behind my back. Vinnie looks up at me and chuckles he holds my hands with one of his own, his other hand pulling on his belt wrapping my wrists together ”NO DON’T DADDY IM SORRY!” I say as tears start filling my eyes and my bottom lip quivers.

Vinnie looks up at me his eyes showing no emotion ”I'm not gonna hit you till I'm calm-” My eyes widen ”NO FUCK YOU!” I yell as I try to get away even though I know I can't but I don't want a spanking. I know Vinnie won't touch me till we’re home and it's a long-ass drive at least an hour or two depending on traffic meaning I'm gonna be hot and bothered AND my ass is gonna be on fire. I feel a harsh slap on my right cheek I let out an involuntary moan grinding against him ”STOP talking to me like that.” Vinnie rubs my cheek turning my face towards him ”you’ve made daddy very mad and after your punishment, we will be having a conversation about tonight right now I need you to take your punishment like a good girl.” Vinnie says softly rubbing my cheek I know he's trying to make a point about my attitude and he’s somehow being so sweet. I wish I could say it was me being extremely horny and slightly tipsy but honestly, it was just my pride I don't wanna admit that I'm wrong, for talking to him like that and hitting him in anger, which I have never done before, I feel bad but still, the words came out.

”NO! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” I shout right in his face Vinnie’s eyes lock with my own I gulp that was the last straw and I know it. All of a sudden my face is in the passenger seat my chest is against the armrest in the middle Vinnie puts his left leg over my legs so I couldn’t kick him or grind myself against him.

”D-Daddy don't please.” I sniff looking back at him with wide eyes ”I-i I'll be good daddy-” Vinnie lets out a dark laugh he then grabs a first full of my hair and yanks my head back I gasp ”I hope you cry.” Vinnie whispered in my ear before pushing my head back down ”Don’t fucking move or you get five more.” Vinnie lifts my dress so it's around my waist he ripped my underwear off throwing the ruined material on his dashboard. ”count” Vinnie demands ”How many-?” I start to ask ”DID I SAY TO FUCKING SPEAK!” Vinnie lands a hard slap on my ass

”OH FUCK!” I yell trying to get away ”thats 25 now.” Vinnie says as he pulls me back into place ”Now I said count, so fucking count slut!”

I feel the first one on my right cheek ”OW one” I said as I sniff holding my tears in. Another one SLAP! This time on my left I let out a cry as I try not to move an inch. ”TWO!” this time a tear slips out but Vinnie doesn't see it, his hand lands on my right cheek way more hard then the last one and before I could even cry he lands another one with the same power onto the left cheek. A sob escapes my mouth as tears fall down my face ”FUCKING COUNT OR USE THE SAFE WORD!” my heat throbs as he yells at me my arousal running down my legs. ”THREE FOUR!” I scream as a sob comes up my throat it hurts so bad but feels so good.

”T-T-TWENTY-FIVE!” I scream sob, my face soaked with tears and my wetness has been running down my legs, I could feel the puddle on his jeans. My ass is on fire and it's bright red with handprints all over the place, I have my head resting on the seat trying to calm down my breathing and crying. Vinnie silently runs his thumbs from the puddle on his jeans all the way to my slit, collecting all of the wetness from that thigh before sticking the digit in his mouth ”mmhm” he moans before doing the same to the other thigh, once again putting his thumb in his mouth again. I am however still sobbing ”you can cry all you want baby...” he kisses my red ass cheek ”you are just making me so much more hard.” Vinnie says before he licks my clit softly ”mmm daddy” I say with a small voice ”I’m still mad at you baby.” He says as he slaps my clit making me whimper ”please daddy” I try to grab his shirt with my hands.

Vinnie immediately pulls away so I can't touch him or grab him ”No, don't fucking touch me.” he says repeating what I said to him not long ago obviously, it had hurt his feelings and stuck with him. ”oh, daddy I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way.” I look back at Vinnie best I can from my position ”I really am sorry Vinnie, I love you.” I say with wide eyes making sure he is paying attention. He rubs my thigh ”I know you are brat!” he then slaps my thigh ”sit in your seat and buckle up I don't wanna hear a word.” he pulls his belt off and puts it in the back seat. A tear slips down my face, is he really that mad at me that he won't say I love you back, I crawl to my seat and fix my dress before I sit down soft and slow my behind still in major pain.

The pain makes me feel even worse knowing he's very mad at me I stare at my hands I didn't even realize I was still crying till he said something ”turn around baby let me see” Vinnie says softly. I look up at him and I sniff slowly I pull my knees up and stand on them and use the window for support as Vinnie pulls my dress up around my waist once again ”fuck baby I'm sorry” Vinnie says in a sad tone as he begins to leave light kisses on my cheeks ” I love you baby so much I'm just pissed at Bryce and then you were being a bitch about-” My eyes widen ” W-What? I was being a bitch! You dragged me around like a fucking kid!” I say angrily as tears run down my face ”you're a fucking asshole” I say to myself getting ready to sit back down but then I feel pain on the skin of my ass so much worse then before and it didn't feel like a hand.

A giant sob jumps from my throat and moaning I feel my pussy clench around nothing for the hundredth time this night. I whip my head around to see Vinnie holding his belt in his hand with an angry face and black eyes filled with lust and rage mostly rage. ”You never fucking learn, unless I treat you like shit so get in the fucking back! Don't say a goddamn word or I'll whip you with my belt again.” I gasp and I scurry between the seats my ass getting stuck between my seat and Vinnie's shoulder. ”My lucky day huh.” I feel him smack my ass a cry leaving my lips and I fall into the back seat my ass in the air. Another slap is delivered to my ass tears running down my face as I try to buckle up fast even with the pain in my behind, my makeup was definitely fucked up.

20 minutes later we pulled into a nice-looking hotel Vinnie grabs a napkin and hands it to me silently ”don’t say a word unless spoken to and just sit down till I come get you.” I nod as I wipe my eyes trying to stop the tears Vinnie steps out of the car and opens the back door on my side grabbing my hand and pulling me out after I unbuckle. I know this sweetness is going to be short-lived as it's just a front so people don't think something is actually wrong. Vinnie approach soon but first he turns around and asks how late room service is open ”24/7 sir” the lady says as she hands him two room cards.

”Perfect.” Vinnie says as he grabs my hand pulling me to the elevator the second the elevator door shut Vinnie grabs my neck and slammed me against the wall.

A loud moan leaving my lips ”i had to get the most expensive room so they wouldn't kick us out for all the screaming you're going to do from your punishments.” Vinnie licks my lips and cheek ”Open your fucking mouth!” he says immediately my mouth drops and my tongue falls out past my teeth. Vinnie spits in my mouth I moan loudly ”Swallow” so I did ”Again”

he grunts squeezing my neck and one of my boobs, my mouth drops open Vinnie spits but it doesn't all go in my mouth I shoot my eyes open looking down at the spit on the floor disappointed. I start to lean down ”Don’t baby I'll give you more.” I look up at Vinnie and grab his waist, a slap is delivered to my face ”I said don't touch me do you want me to spit in your mouth or not!” I moan dropping to the floor on my knees mouth open ”YES!” I say rushing to taste him again.

”I-I’m sorry daddy I won't do it anymore.” I say with puppy eyes my mouth open waiting for him to give me a gift. Vinnie looks down at me with a disgusted look tears fall from my eyes as I look up at him mouth still open waiting patiently. ”You're a nasty slut!” he slaps me before forcing my mouth open spitting inside. I moan at the taste and at the pain on my face I swallow reluctantly wanting it to last forever I then lick my lips and hold my cheek ”we’re the only people on this floor so strip and crawl to the room. Stay on your knees where you belong, for now at least”

He Pushes me to he ground It didn't hurt because I was only on my knees I take my dress off and my dra I go to kick my heels off

”Don’t! keep them on.” Vinnie says leaning down picking up my clothes as the doors open I see a long hallway and all the way to the end is a double door I crawl out and wait for Vinnie ”Come here, Now.” I crawl as fast as I can ”sit” my eyes widen I'm not a fucking dog I think to myself all the sudden I feel something around my neck.

Vinnie had fastened his belt around my neck like a collar ”Crawl bitch!” I gasp as my hands hit the ground we slowly move towards the door Vinnie behind me. I feel pain on my ass once again I whip my head around to see Vinnie whip my ass with my own bra. I moan I'm gonna have bruises for months, he hits my ass every once in a while I moan every time. We get to the door and he opens it with his key card. ”I have to run to the store you can shower if you wish and watch tv but I expect you naked and ready when I get back” Vinnie starts to walk away ”oh and don't touch your self, I'll know if you did.” he turns to me and looks down into my eyes before walking out.

I hop in the shower and then I lay on the couch with a homemade ice pack I made, with supplies from the room and the mini ice machine in the room, pressed against my sore ass. It's been barely been an hour, but I already miss Vinnie. I can't wait for my punishment to be over so he will hold me and kiss me I don’t wanna fight, I wanna sleep. My head lefts up at the sound of the door being opened. ”Get on the bed it's time for your punishment.” Vinnie says as he comes in with a couple of different black bags I Eye them suspicious of what's inside.

”Don't worry about it and lay on your stomach.” Vinnie says in a slightly angry tone I rush on the bed and lay my head in a pillow I feel Vinnie slightly sit on my lower back making the bed dip. All of the sudden my hand is being tired to the headboard then the other he gets off me before doing the same to my legs. I'm spread like a starfish and I can't turn my head to see anything. ”scream and cry all you want I don’t care.” and with that, he gets off me not a second later I hear him fiddle with the bags and then silence then I hear... Buzzing?

My eyes widen as I realize what my punishment is ”NO DADDY PLEASE I-I IM SORRY NOT THAT PLEASE!” tears immediately pour down my face I pull at my restraints even though it's useless. ”Maybe you will listen first then run your loudmouth Brat.” I feel the head of the vibrator enter me and I moan immediately pleasure runs through me I hear another vibration and then out of nowhere, Vinnie pulls a smaller vibrator out and positioned right at my clit. I moan even louder I can feel my first orgasm approach. I feel a slap on my ass ”n-no more daddy please I will behave and l-listen.”

I sob as he delivers more smacks to my overly sore ass my orgasm ripping through me another already on its way. I hear Vinnie start to look in the bags again he pulls my hair back ”see this” Vinnie shows me a stick or so I think. He pulls on one of the ends and it comes off releasing a bunch of leather strings my eyes widen in fear he's gonna whip me with a real sex whip my second orgasm making me shakes and convulses almost pushing the vibrator out. Vinnie pushes it back in all the way before he starts whipping my ass with the whip my third orgasm approaching fast ”AAAH MAKE IT STOP VINNIE IT’S TOO MUCH TO FAST!” I yell tears running down my face

”what’s that? turn them on high! ok whatever you say.” Vinnie chuckled deeply ”Nooooooo” I moan as the vibrations make my third orgasm be forced out I scream nonsense orgasm after orgasm driving me crazy.

-two hours later-

I was sobbing and screaming as another orgasm ripped me apart it feels so good but it hurts to breathe at this point. ”CORN MUSTARD” I yell the safe word. Immediately the vibration stop and are pulled from my body Vinnie unties my hands and feet ”BABY ARE YOU OK” he softly turns me over on my back and I hiss in pain everything hurts ”NO FUCK YOU!” I yell not meaning a word of it ”oh baby I'm so sorry-” I push him away I'm not even mad at him I'm just in pain and still unsatisfied ashamed I still want his dick and his mouth on mine I feel a Slap ”WHY CAN’T YOU FUCKING LEARN??!? DO I HAVE TO HURT YOU WITH MY COCK AND WORDS TO MAKE YOU FUCKING LISTEN!” he slams his rock hard cock into me I didn't even know he was naked till now ”UGH I HATE YOU.” I yell

Vinnie stops and pulls out of me he slams back in making me moan ”FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY YOU’RE A SLAVE FOR MY COCK, YOU FUCKING WHORE!” Vinnie yells as he slaps my face. Begin to moan uncontrollably it feels so good I can feel him in my belly his big ass cock ramming into my uterus. ”FUCK DADDY IM SORRY I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU I DON’T HATE YOU I LOVE YOU S-SO MUCH DADDY! IM YOUR SLUTTY WHORE PLEASE PUT YOUR CUM IN ME AND FILL ME UP, DADDY” I was shaking around his cock his breath in my face I just wanted to taste him so bad ”p-please kiss me daddy.” Vinnie looks down at me ”WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I KISS YOU BITCH, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BE A PAIN IN THE ASS TONIGHT!” I sob I just wanted to feel that he loves me I feel so stupid and useless right now. The sobs no longer from the pleasure but from my broken heart Vinnie slows down looking at my devastated face as real emotional tears and gasps left my body as I just laid there.

”b-baby?” Vinnie asks still pounding into me he stops still inside of me I look up at him and hiccup ”y-you don’t love me anymore because I said a-all those nasty things I d-didn’t mean it a-and you hate me now” I cry into the pillow Vinnie grabs my face wiping all of my tears and kissing me on the lips sweet and passionately taking my breath away.

”mmmmm” I moan into his kiss sliding my tongue in his mouth putting my hand in his hair and hugging his body close to me I was drooling at his taste kissing him harder and grinding against him. I feel Vinnie smile as he begins to fuck me again this time with passion and love not anger and resentment. We both are kissing sloppy and moaning into each others mouths as he pounds into me.

”FUUUUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM GONNA CUM” He moans as he cums deep inside of me causing me to release ”DADDY YESS THANK YOU IM SORRY.” I lay there as Vinnie pulls out my head snaps up ”Nononono I want it.” I open my mouth for his slightly stiff cum covered cock.

”fuck such a nasty girl...” he moans as he puts his cock down my throat choking me

”mmmmm baby I forgive you, you’re so perfect in every way.” he moans taking his soft cock out of my sucking mouth I start to whine but Vinnie pops his finger in my mouth keeping me busy still I pass out.

Vinnie’s POV

”My sweet girl.... No more alcohol for you but I do love you very much you have never been so bratty.” I kiss her lips and turn off the light's pulling my brat closer as I snuggle into her neck I couldn't ask for more.

[taejeonie]

what if jaemin and taehee dated…

YAY OUR KDRAMA COUPLE

honestly i think that this would start off as a blur to them

like jaemin didn’t even know when or why he suddenly liked taehee

once he fully acknowledged his feelings,,it felt like they were there from the start

and unconsciously, he would have the audacity to FLIRT with her

the dreamies were all video calling, mark and taehee on the other end of the line due to 127’s schedules

hyuck was talking about something when jaemin suddenly said

“noona, you look so pretty today”

the other dreamies were completely thrown off

“that’s so sudden,” mark said while laughing

most of the dreamies has surprised looks on, meanwhile hyuck was baffled

taehee: ahh thank you

she said it as if it’s nothing,,,like this was completely normal she’s still shy tho

and ever since that day, jaemin made a silent pact with himself to get taehee to fall for him

so he sends her good morning texts and good night texts

texts in the middle of the day asking if she ate already, or if she’s taking care of herself properly

these surprised taehee at first but soon she learned to get along with it thinking it was like,,to fit their dynamic of being kdrama people

sooner or later, jaemin would call her and ask her to meet in front of their dorms so that they could go eat in the cafe taehee wanted to go to

“on second thought, i’ll go to your dorm so you don’t have to go to mine”

“but i could just-“

“i don’t want you to get tired from walking to our dorm”

“jaemin, your dorm is literally-“

“no this is final i am going to your dorm and you won’t move a step until i get there”

“…..okay”

“alright see you!”

when the line cuts she looks to mark beside her like (・・;)?

“is it just me or jaemin’s acting really weird these days?”

“hmm?”

“do you think…do you think he,” then she moves her eyebrows up and down like in a weird way

and mark gets all the more confused

from another person’s pov, this situation would look rather comical due to the fact mark has no absolute clue of what taehee’s referring to and why was she moving her face like that

and then taehee leans closer to mark and whispers, “do you think he likes me?”

then mark’s like Ö

“you think he lIKES YOU?”

“nO! he’s just so weird we never go this far with our jokes”

then there was a pause on both ends until mark says, “well do you like him?”

“idontknow??”

“WHAT”

then there’s a knock on the door and both of their eyes widen

“that’s jaemin,” taehee hurriedly whispers

“tHAT’S JAEMIN??”

then before they know it taehee’s already out of the door sweating buckets- wait why is she nervous

maybe bc ur starting to acknowledge ur feelings dumbass

“why are you so red?”

“im what?”

“are you sick?,” then jaemin tried to check if she was hot but taehee pulled away before he could touch her forehead

“im not i was just,,,doing stuff with mark”

jaemin’s face falls slightly when he hears this but then proceeds to ask, “oh? what stuff?”

“we fixed our room- enough about mark. let’s go!!”

unconsciously, taehee grabbed jaemin’s arm and whined like a baby which the latter found ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE.

he scrunches his nose at her before pinching her cheek, “alright (*´꒳`*) whatever my cutie noona says (*´꒳`*)”

then taehee felt her face get hotter when she heard ‘my’

jaemin interlaced their hands together and although he’s done it a thousand times before, it made taehee the most flustered person to ever exist at this moment

when they got outside, taehee let go of jaemin’s hand, causing him to pout

and he made sure she was gonna see his frickin pout.

“where’s the car? ( ^ω^ )”

“actually, we’re walking (⌒▽⌒)”

“we’RE WHAT”

“kidding!!! we’re taking the bus stop over there,,”

“oh okay, you looked serious-“

“i don’t want my baby to get tired (*^ω^*)”

never did taehee know that there would come a day where she wanted to punch jaemin in the face

it was strike #3 baby

now the actual cafe date!!!

taehee would get stuff like red velvet cupcake, chocolate cake, hot choco,,,stuff like that

and jaemin goes, “we went here to this nice café just for you to order that? we have those in our cafeteria”

“you’ll know the cafe is good if simple snacks like these are good”

“whatever you say”

jaemin would also take lots of pictures of her using his phone, then he sets his favorite one as his lockscreen

“aaaaa”

“no”

“aaaaaaa”

“jaemin, no”

“taehee-ssi, the cake isn’t going to eat itself”

“obviously,,,im gonna feed myself”

“but i want to be romantic so aaaaa”

she gives in anyways

when she gets home mark was like, “so you did enjoy your date”

“shut up it’s not a date”

“dUDE DO YOU EVEN SEE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW???”

so mark knows taehee has feelings for jaemin

best friend tingz

as for jaemin, i think that the first person to know

would be renjun

like days after their cafe date, renjun would see jaemin’s lockscreen and JOKINGLY say

“you like taehee noona, don’t you?”

“maybe i do”

…..

“you sound so serious you weirdo”

“its the truth”

renjun: chokes on his water

meanwhile jaemin’s just going through his camera for all the taehee pics

so when renjun looks at what’s causing jaemin’s fond smile

he’s like “yeah this kid is nuts”

there were times where jaemin would randomly buy stuff for taehee

like clips and hair ties

coffee

127 and dream were together in the practice room once again to prepare for the year end concert

taehee was on the floor talking with hyuck

and when hyuck’s about to kiss taehee on the cheek that’s when jaemin steps in

“here’s your coffee, darling (*^o^*)”

hyuck feels something cold against his lips and pulls away in confusion

jaemin pinches taehee’s cheek when she says thank you and walks away

“darling??? that’s new”

“i know. hes so,,,,weird these days i don’t know what’s gotten in to him,,”

pffft

“but he got me coffee so *shrugs*”

“that’s his coffee though how are you not dying”

“no it’s not it’s sweet, here”

“*sips coffee* hmm that is weird”

in reality, jaemin got that type of coffee so he could share with her

jaemin ain’t slick tho

when jaemin walks off mark wiggles his eyebrows like those uncles during christmas and jaemin’s like

“oh no he knows…”

“bUT!!! why does he know?”

“does perhaps,,,,taehee noona have feelings for me too?”

it kept jaemin up and attentive the whole practice schedule

thinking if he should confess or not

days later of jaemin making moves on taehee, taehee felt her feelings grow for jaemin more

and tHEN she starts to worry about the outcomes

“what if jaemin’s just really joking? but if he’s not then we’re kinda fucked? oh no what would the others say”

and she just looked really out of it that it caught mark’s attention

“what’s wrong? you look out of it today”

“mm”

“taehee?”

“mmm”

“is this about jaemin?”

“….no”

mark turns off his phone like the good friend he is and turns to taehee

“you have to stop overthinking”

“what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“will you believe me if i say he does?”

“probably not”

mark smiles amusingly, “you are so stubborn”

“what if the others find out?”

“you’re worrying about that as if you’re already in a relationship”

and taehee gives him like a sad glare that makes mark stop joking around

“if you’re talking about the members, of course they’ll be happy for you both without a doubt. the fans…there will always be a good and bad side of everything taehee. the only thing that matters is how you’re gonna handle it”

taehee goes silent for a moment, thinking

yes, mark IS right. she’s just scared of the consequences

she’ll act on her feelings, but not now

taehee presses her forehead to the side of mark’s face in a loving gesture before standing up and saying thank you

meanwhile jaemin and renjun are planning how jaemin should confess

“i think noona would like it straightforward”

“you mean plain,,,”

“well if you want to have bonus points then i think you should use a pickup line,,like an original one”

“well if it’s for her then i’ll do it then”

“whatever,” renjun thinks jaemin’s too cheesy for him, “but tone it down with your shamelessness,,,i think you’re scaring her”

later in the vlive,,,taehee was kinda out of it

she didn’t notice jaemin was talking

“nooooo i only like noona (*´꒳`*),” he said in aegyo

then mark’s like “really?,” while laughing his ass off in the corner

“really.”

then it’s like one of those movie stills where the male lead *lovingly* looks at the female lead

and taehee’s like ‘oh shit he looks serious’

but then the all but’s come in and shes back to being a chicken about her feelings

later into the night, the dreamies start to head home

as everyone bids their goodbyes, jaemin tries to kiss taehee’s cheek but she pulls away

“….you know you have to stop doing that right?”

“what?,” taehee baby,,you just hurt na jaemin’s feelings :((

“what will others think if they see us like this,,they’re going to think we’re in a relationship. what will your fans say?”

“but we’ve been like this since we were younger…you do this with the others too!!”

“but it’s different with you!”

“noona, can you please explain it properly because i don’t like…i don’t like talking with you as if we’re fighting”

“you’re so sweet and caring and- and…”

jaemin sighs, “and what?”

“jaemin, you don’t know what you’re doing. you’re so loving and i really appreciate it, but tone it down. please?”

jaemin looks down and taehee thinks their relationship is already fucked

sigh

“how can i do that if i like you noona?”

drAMA BOOOMB

“what did you say?”

“i like you more than i should. i want to be your boyfriend, noona, and i’m ready to face whatever outcomes we will go through. i want to hold your hand and tell you i love you before we go to bed,,i want to cook with you and hug you and do all the cringey stuff with you!! i was trying to give you hints the other day but your pretty little head couldn’t get it”

a tear slips from taehee’s eyes making jaemin laugh softly

and he knows, he’s got her already

“huh?,” jaemin wipes her tears away, “why are you crying, baby?”

the pet name makes taehee laugh as she punches him weakly and proceeds to bury her face into his shoulder

“you’re so cheesy, i hate you”

“no you don’t”

“i do”

“you love me,” jaemin wraps his arms around taehee and leans his head on hers

taehee sighs, “okay”

jaemin smiles at her as he pulls away, “so this means you’re my girlfriend now, right?”

“yea ٩( ‘ω’ )و”

AND THEYRE TOGETHER NOW

OH WAIT THIS MEANS THEIR ANNIVERSARY IS DURING NEW YEARS

THATS SO T^T

anyways,,,

i see cheeks kisses happening a LOT more often 

off cam and on cam 

nctzens: they’re just friends!!! ^-^

whenever taehee would pass by, jaemin would suddenly pull her into his lap and taehee would have to struggle for a bit 

“JAEMIN!!”

“JUST FIVE MINUTES PLEASE”

holds hands a lot 

there was this one vlive where jaemin was playing with taehee’s hands 

mark was talking about something,,apparently hyuck saw them being all sweet and lovey dovey 

he wanted to have taehee time too >:(((

so he RIPPED their hands apart and placed his arms around them and did ( ^ - ^ )

speaking of the members knowing,,,

obv renjun and mark would know first

shortly followed by chenji, hyuck, jeno, then the rest of the group respectively 

they all would be super happy for them ofc <33

found it endearing their anniversary is on new years 

the couple would DEFINITELY act cringey just to annoy jisung 

jisung in one of his voice only vlives: “these days jaemin hyung and taehee noona are so weird, REALLY. one day we were in a room together and tHey TalK sO WeiRd!! i had to leave the room”

PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER IS A MUST.

you know that video of a girl holding her bf’s hand while he plays on the keyboard then she lets go of his hand but then the guy pulls the girls hand back and continues playing?

taehee would def do that for fun

but then get SUPER flustered when jaemin grabs her hand back

taehee would be immune to his aegyo

and even when jaemin knows that already he’ll still continue to use it ,,, BUT!!!

there are cheek kisses in the end which taehee will succumb to

jaemin @ taehee : <3 __ <3

RIDIN ERA

TAEHEE WOULD BE SO HYPED

ALSO OBSESSED WITH HIS BLUE HAIR

obsessed to the point that’s all what she’s staring at even if jaemin asks for kisses

“sorry you just look so handsome wow im- wow…..”

JAEMINS AEGYO ON WEEKLY IDOL

taehee would do a live reacting to the dreamies’ aegyo

when it was jaemin’s turn she’d be like ???????

“i can’t believe i d- know this boy…..really”

COFFEE DATES.

coffee dates would be very sweet

if taehee was curious enough she would grow to be immune to jaemin’s coffee

would visit the dreamies a lot more when she’s free even if jaemin tells her she should rest

“noona only came for jaemin hyung :(((“ - park jisung, who is also in need of his noona’s attention

“what?? i love all of the jaemins and non jaemins equally (*´꒳`*)”

“she’s using twitter slang again”

but there are times where jaemin’s really stern and like: don’t come to the dorms u. need. to. REST!!!

so they facetime each other instead!!!

the reason why jaemin would scold her a lot bc he notices taehee falling asleep when she visits them so 1) they don’t get to spend *time* with each other properly 2) she’s not getting the PROPER rest she deserves

therefore jaemin values the health of taehee very much

jaemin would L O V E taking taehee’s pics

would set her as his phone wallpaper AND desktop wallpaper

would def ask her for an album pc (esp. the punch one) and would keep it in his phone case

overall taehee and jaemin would be a vvvv cute couple

it’s like their kdrama-like relationship turned into a LITERAL kdrama,,,except the sad parts

taehee would be very supportive on her part as jaemin would be the literal caring, sweet, cute, lovable boyfriend she needs

he just wants to look out for her ;(

“you know i love you right?”

“yes i know (⌒▽⌒)”

“like really really R E A L L Y love you?”

“i know, jaemin. i hope you know i love you just as much (*´-`)”

“i know that, love. now sleep, you still have an early schedule tomorrow”

“okay,,i love you…goodnight, baby”

“good night, my love. i’ll see you in my dreams (*´ω｀*)”

[omegle-poop-stories]



You're chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like pee, poop, shit, and scat.

35m, looking for a messy/naughty girl who loves to play messy

Do you accept 15 year olds? Because I am that girl~

Really?

Am I too old?

Nope

Younger than my mum actually

Because...... a very messy kinky little girl is kind of my fantasy :D

Heh well

I love roleplay and if your up for it I'll be your sexy messy naughty little maid and slut

sounds like fun. Do you mind if I ask how you go to be so kinky at such a young age?

I was kinkier when I was 7

oh?

No I didn't even know what cum was but I was into the bdsm, scat, piss, cunt slapping, soiling, diapers all that before I turned 8

omg you are like the perfect girl

(Love diapers! on "older" girls)

Did someone introduce you to it? Or you just found out that you liked messing yourself and slapping your cunt?

Hehe I actually wore diapers because of bedwetting problems but they were to expensive so I had to stop wearing

And no I just found it I guess idk how but yea

It was years ago 😂

Do you like it when you exicted older guys so much?

The guys I talked to were usually 26-30

But one guy in particular was like 37

And he was like ew he asked to see pics if me every five seconds

And even when I was out he was like "hey send me a pic of your pussy"

Anyway

sorry that he was a jerk

It's not your fault he's probably dead now it's been 6 years lol

how do you like to play exaclty.... messing (obviously) . being fucked in your mess?

do you have an ultimate fantasy?

Oh yea I like being fucked in the ass in particualr

Yes I have a fantasy

May I hear it?

Sure

I wanna be fucked till I'm numb dripping in cum, sweat and piss, I want you to whip spank and slap me till I cry then force me to hold my mess until I literally cant and I'm begging to use the bathroom if I manage to hold it for 6 days straight I am allowed to use the bathroom if not I have to go into public in ONLY my soiled panties

And after that I wanna be put in diapers and re potty trained until I learn not to mess myself

ohh... that kind of dovetails with a fantasy of mine.... fucking you after you have held in your mess so long that you wet/mess all over. Works for all three holes ;) . I also love fully clothed sex/messing (and I already mentioned diapers

do you eat/drink/swallow at all? Or just mess?

I've never tried it tbh but I mean I would love to give my mess to people

??

I mean if they wanted it 😂

I was more asking for something along this scenario.... I make you hold and you are sucking me (or more accuratly I am fucking your face) and you mess your diaper so I make you take it off and wrap it around my cock and continue the BJ with your dirty diaper

but that isn't for everyeone

Oh that sounds fun hehe and I suppose id do it if I was particularly horny

But not something I'd do unless someone mentioned it

i also love the idea of having you as my maid (or daughters bff or whatever reason you are in my house) and we start a kinky taboo affair where I am your daddy and you are my messy little/baby girl

like purposely "being bad" and messing yourself during a BJ and then i fuck you in your little messy ass

That sounds like a new fantasy of mine 🤭

my little taboo teenage messy mistress.... wearing things that you know will drive me crazy...

did you want to rp the build up... (which can be boring... depending on the partner) or after we have allready discovered each other?

Hmm well I think discovered each other would be fun but maybe like just coming home for tea or something with your daughter and immediately think your hot as fuck

okay we can do that. How forward do you want me to be?

Little does your daughter know I wear diapers and as soon as I walk past you notice a faint shitty smell

Maybe like touchy feely but not to forward as if to say "I love you" but maybe giving subtle hints as in letting my butt or stroking my back

Patting*

okay. anything you really really want to include (or exclude?)

Nope I'm fine with anything you are

And I don't think we need to include anything else

okay

You want to start if off given that you have the scene idea

My name will be Kira btw I'll just call you sir or mister

Sure

*she waits behind her best friend looking nervous to meet her parents as she watches the door open and catches an eye on her father, she gets shy and looks behind her making sure the smell and bulge isn't noticeable* h-hi sir *she blushes and walks past*

*I am immediately taken by you... your appearance... your shyness.... your apparently hiding your ass*. "Well hello..... I don't think we have met before, have we? Kirstin (my daughter) don't be rude.... introduce us"

*she shuffles behind Kirstin and mumbles* hi.. i-im Kira *she figured it would be easier to Introduce herself*

*Kristin rolls her eyes and shrugs you off and goes into the bathroom and closes the door... leaving you without cover* . "Hello Kira.... Why so shy? I promise I don't bite *I wink, but not in a creepy way*

*she turns away whe. She realises she's blushing again and makes a face if strain as if trying to push something out* mmh c-cause...uhm

*I step forward and gently place my hand on your back in a fatherly fashion* . "Kira you don't look like you feel well... come sit in my office" *I guide you into my office.... looking at the bulge in the back of your skirt causing the bulge in the front of my pants to grow.

"Here have a seat" I offer you a very plush chair and smile . "You really don't look well" I prompt

B-but I ... *She blushes again this time not even attempting to hide it as she sits down she hears a few crackles and crinkles she blushed harder and pushes making a face if strain again* s-sir where is your bathroom?

"Kristin is using it... " I pause looking down at you.... "Kira... is there something you want to tell me?"

N-no! Sorry I just need the bathro- mmh -om that's all *she smiles and stands up realising a noticeable brown patch on the chair cushions as she sits back down real quick* y-you know what nevermind I don't need the toilet

(from the hallway) "Dad I need to go pickup someone from the mall... is Kira okay staying here?" *I look at you with an amused stare as if to say.... 'are you going to go and let me see the brown patch...?'* . my pants growing tight as the sight of the cute little story unfolding in front of me

*she looks at him confused but she shouts to the hallway * yea I'm fine staying Kris!,

*she gets up not realising the brown patch on her skirt was even more visible as she bent over and flipped the cushion around so it wasn't noticable*

"umm... Kira..... " *I ask... in an amused tone* "You do realize that the stain isn't only on the cushion.... right?"

*she stands up straight suddenly holding her hand on her butt* w-what stain...?

*Looking in your eyes I walk straight over to you... looking down at you by the time I get there... I grab the hem of your skirt and pull it up so that you can see the brown clearly on the red... also your diaper (what kind)* . "This one silly girl... and the matching one on my cushion..... I know you are wearing a diaper *I pat it gently*... a very full diaper.... how old are you?" I ask, not in a mad or demeaning way... but in a very curious way

(medium sized adult diapers any kind) *she blushes and starts crying but not in a sad way in s more furious way as she hugs him tight only reaching to his chest she buries her face in and mumbles* 13...

*I ebrace you tightly* . "It is okay Kira.... 13 and still in diapers.... but you know you need to you the bathroom..... Interesting"

*whispering in your ear now... still embracing you* "can I tell you a secret?"

Y-yea.. *she looks up at him wiping her tears*

*helps wipe tears with thumb* "I think it is really cute when girls are still in diapers"

Then why isn't Kris in diapers...couldn't you make her wear themmm- *rethinking what she said she thought it sounded weird and creepy immediately regretting what she had said* I'm sorry I didn't mean it to come across like that *she really needed a change as a faint hissing noise came from her diaper and she blushed*

*holding you this close you feel my cock twitch as you wet* . "Well... I don't want to feel the way about my daughter as I feel for you.... and don't be embarrassed.... why do you wear?"

Well earlier I asked where the bathroom was so I could change but I don't actually know how to use a toilet, I've been potty trained but only with one of those plastic ones and never learned how to use a big one...I also feel unsafe and it's scary when I go near one as j don't know what to do with the metal thingy or the water inside

"oh babygirl.... why have you never been potty trained?" *I as... worrying about abuse*

O-oh uh..*she sighs knowing she had already told him about the diapers so why not about her parents* well..my family kinda..don't wanna... acknowledge my existence? *She giggles nervously trying to make it as a joke*

"oh babygirl....." I hold you close, starting to feel bad about starting to hit on you. "It sounds like you need someone to take care of you"

*she suddenly got an idea* c-could I come and live with you and Kris? *She said excitedly as she looked up with a huge smile on her face*

*emotions rush through me* . "I... I am not sure that is the best idea Kris...... I am not sure I could...." *I trail off... looking at the cute little diapered 13yo in front of me

*she looks disappointed as she says sadly* okay.. *she walks off into the hall to find the bathroom*

"hey hey hey" . I catch up with you.... "It is just that.... I am really attracted to you Kira... and I shouldn't be... you are 13 and I don't think I could be good"

*she blushes but fights it away* I've just met you y'know? *She crouches next to her bag and looks for the diapers* where are they? Fuck..where are they!?

*she remembers she forgot to pack them as she looked dispointed in herself as she knew she had no change of clothes or diapers now*

*she hears the front door open as Kris comes in*

(not sure where you are going with this)

(oof sorry just gonna roll with it alright?*

((Okay I will will trust you)

"Hey Kristin.... did you get your errand ran?" i ask in a disinterested way

Kristen: yea I have to get the diap- uh...groceries upstairs real quick I'll be down in a minute...and why does it smell like a pig sti

her slip up was not missed by me.... "I had mexican for lunch" I explain away after seeing the terror on your face

As she disappears upstairs.... I look at you . "Why doe smy daughter have diapers?"

Probably becauseeee her friend dared her to buy them? Or she might be using them to get boys into that online I mean that's worst case scenario but I'm not sure what else

"Oh you dared her to buy them?" I ask... half interested / half irritated. "If you want me to let you change into a clean one you will tell me why"

W-what n-noo I didn't I'm just uh guessing! I swear!

"oh I bet all the 13 year old girls are trying diapers aren't they?" I ask in mock parental agitation....

"Are you telling me that the one sexy 13yo girl who wears and uses diapers isn't the one who dared her to buy them?" (i don't notice my sexy slip)

S-sexy? *She blushed and shook her head* no I didn't

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[impertfectedchoices]

I Promise - PT.3

Prompt: In a Heartbeat Ship: James X MC POV: (Point of View): James Word Count: 1,653 Tags:

@hhiggs | @destinio1 | @marryjanewaston

Artist Comment: Holaaaaa, So, pardon the, AGAIN, long break. Life’s been kicking my WHO-LE existence 😭.

This one, unintentionally, is going to be a really emotional part. This wasn’t my original plan, but it just… kind of happened. The past two months have been pretty hectic, and I’m really trying my best, But when you go through bs, it seems like you’re alone. A quote I’m gonna be using in this pretty much sums up what I’m going through. And I feel like it fits in this fic too well. So, I hope this comes across well. While writing this part, I actually cried, like, semi-broke down 😭. This hits a real personal note to me, and I hope you guys understand it. So, FAIR WARNING! I’m trying my best to not look at the situation, but how I’m going to get out of it. And your “now” won’t be your “future.” Anyone can come out of a crappy situation and thrive. You just gotta go through the storm. And all that sappy stuff, lel. 💕

PS, This, as well, was on a whim. No planning, drafting, or prethinking about plot before I write…. just gonna try to spot all the spelling errors this time 😂

le’Enjoy!

•

8:01pm

It’s feeling like elephants are sitting on my chest, since getting back to the car. I’ve never, necessarily, had problems with my breathing being under control. But sitting here; watching the car lights from main road dance across my windshield, I find that I’m constantly reminding myself to take breaths. The more I force myself, it seems, my breathing gets more shallow. I’m repeatedly feeling on the inside, each attempt to grasp at anything stable. I’ve always been able to zone out, and let my mind center on my sane points. But, as of recent, there’s nothing to feel. Numbness has replaced any form of joy to my life, leaving me a drained form of myself.

From the library, past… past MC’s house, to the highway that took me a few miles away from Hartfeld.

Familiar roads allowed for the holes to appear slowly into the wall I temporarily built up, within a 30 minute time span. I parked, went inside and felt the anxiety creep its way back in. My mind tried to put itself back together, but seemed conflicted with the storm’s leftover mess that wasn’t letting up. Every time I attempted to collect my emotions, regain what stability I believed consumed my existence, something happens to throw my progress out the window to clean, discard, and replace. One fall after the next.

My hands were still, wrapped around the wheel. Never leaves, but tightens every so often. I could feel myself tense up, veins more visible, and the white peaking through from the grip I’d had. I needed to focus on something, Anything.

There’s like… maybe over 30 cars in the parking lot.

40?

Just turned red…

Counted off 5 cars turning right at the light.

…now 6,

7?

Yea, 7.

Turned green.

White… Toyota

Um, think it’s a Camry.

The left side’s light always seems to last lo-

• knock, knock •

Now, just realizing the knocking happening next to me, I’d subconsciously whipped away any traces of emotion left on my face to greet who it’d been. To my surprise, I was greeted back with a less then stable face bundled up in her jacket. Unlocking the door, Abbie walked to the passengers side. I opened the door for her, as she climbed in, with semi-urgency. “W-wow, it’s a lot colder than I thought I’d be today.” She said with a bit of a stuttery smile. It had been getting colder since fall started creeping in, but the temperature rarely came to mind, with everything else taking up room. I tried my best to disguise any strain that I’d been feeling earlier, to save face. “Yeah, falls been catching up on us.” mentioning with a halfhearted smile. As I began fiddling with the knobs; turning switches to adjust the heat, she cleared her throat before she began breaking the silence again, “James,”

Looking back up, her face, almost immediately tensed up. Actually looking at her, you could tell she’d been worn out. She looked as if she’d been crying, and her eyes grew puffier the more seconds passed by. Abbie seemed very resilient at times. But in this moment; just like everyone else, I was stunned to see her so weakened. “Abbie. MC’s going to be oka-“ “Don’t lie,” The cracking in her voice was low, but audible enough to ring throughout my head. “James, ?Kaitlyn and Zack told me everything. I went to meet up with everyone, got inside and… and everyone was just, falling apart. Chis pulled Tyler to the side. And I’ve, I’ve never seen him look so broken. Zach couldn’t even look me in the eyes, and Kaitlyn could barely get enough words out without breaking down mid sentence…” The more she spoke, the more the reality of the situation sunk back into me. “…They told me you left, and that’s not like you. So I had to find you.” She’d been turned directly to me, eyes swelling. Looking down at my steering wheel, my hands at some point fell back into position. Feeling myself tense up, still forcing myself to control my breathing enough to speak, “I just, it was hard for me to stay in there for much lon-“

“JAMES, THAT DOESN’T MATTER!” Wide-eyed, My eyes darted back up to her. Her face had gotten a hint redder than normal, and her expression was drenched with frustration, annoyance, worry, and concern. She had been trying to do what everyone felt was impossible; break through the walls I built up when placed in these circumstances. I understood what she was trying to get accomplished, but of all moments, now wasn’t the time. “Abbie,” Attempting to bite back any amount of sternness in my voices, I continued, “… I know how your feeling right now, this isn’t easy on me either. But the last thing we need to be doing is losing it on each other.” It seemed like everything I was saying, though, was just fueling the fire. “What an excuse. So is this your way of ‘solving the situation?’ Running off and hiding in your car?” “No, but staying in there isn’t going to make it any better.” “So, what is staying locked up in here is proving? All I see is someone running away from their problems!”

I could feel every ounce of me radiate irritation. It was getting harder to swallow it. “So do you truly believe I don’t care about MC? Really?” “If you did, you’d be in that room waiting for her! You already took her for granted before, and to think I thought better of you James. I had high hopes, but she’s given you way too many chances for you to get your act together… and you just SIT HERE! You may have had a lot on you plate, but she’s literally given every chance to fix her schedule to make time for you. And all she can get is a few texts, Time you give her for newspaper club meetings? You literally stand her up to work on some dumb paper when you knew she’d been sick. And no apology? Nothing?”

I’d still been staring at the steering wheel as she spoke. The more she yelled, the tighter my grip had gotten. What she didn’t understand was that this was literally killing every inch of my being inside. It felt like I was falling in this hole; ever since Vasquez passed, plummeting. Im just ready to hit the bottom, look at the distance I have to climb, and start climbing, but there isn’t a bottom. I just keep falling. It never ends. This constant torment doesn’t seem to have an end. And I just want it to be over. Everything emotion warped around in my head together; anger, fustration, sadness, guilt, irritability, brokenhearted-ness, fear, heartache, pain. It all reeked in my body, consuming me as all I could hear in my head was yelling. Abbie’s voice faded out, and all I could here was my subconscious talking: It’s your fault, you should’ve been there, you did this, where were you, she needed you, you weren’t there, your no good for her, she’s wasting her time, your taking her for granted, she deserves better, let her go…

“God James, I would thought you’d learn better from everything you put her through. Even with Vasq-“

BEEEEEEEEP!

“BE QUIET!!!!!”

I slammed my fist into the wheel instinctively. I needed the voices to stop, the agony to stop, I just needed to be able to hear thoughts that were my own. She jumped, looking shocked towards me. She didn’t expect such a response from me.

“Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, it’s not true… it’s not true. I care… I care, I swear.” I’d kept repeating this to myself, extensively tight clutch on the steering wheel, hunched over it.

“I care, I swear I care about her… I love her so much, God. Please, make her okay, i swear I’ll do better I care I care I care She means the world to me she does I need her”

I kept repeating it, over and over again. I needed what I believed to overpower what was going on in my head. But I didn’t have the strength to keep up the facade. They were right, it was my fault. She’s been so stressed because of me. I didn’t deserve her, I should have been a better partner, a better friend, a better boyfriend… I didn’t notice Abbie grab me from my stance and held me. She had been the one consoling me this time around. The hold I had over my emotions just gave out. It felt as if me as a person broke, shattered for the first time, as I was left to face my emotions, instead of disguise them.

“I’m so sorry, MC. I’m so fucking sorry, I’m sor-ry I’m so- I’m so-rryyyy.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Dropping my face into my hands, my heart wrenched and I dissolved in myself. Shaking, all I could do was replay what she’d told me, making my soul call out for her more;

”I’m fine James, it’s just a small cold. Nothing I… *sniff* can’t handle!”

”I’ll be okay James, I promise.”

”Geez, so mushy.”

”… but I love you too, my darling.”

•LAST •NEXT

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’ ‘  i hope you end up ok  ’ ‘  i’m crying my best  ’ ‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’ ‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’ ‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’ ‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’ ‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’ ‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’ ‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’ ‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’ ‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’ ‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’ ‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’ ‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’ ‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’ ‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’ ‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’ ‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’ ‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’ ‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’ ‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’ ‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’ ‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’ ‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’ ‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’ ‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’ ‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’ ‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’ ‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’ ‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’ ‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’ ‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’ ‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’ ‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’ ‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’ ‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’ ‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’ ‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’ ‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’ ‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’ ‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’ ‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’ ‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’ ‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’ ‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. 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well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’ ‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’ ‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’ ‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’ ‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’ ‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’ ‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’ ‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’ ‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’ ‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’ ‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’ ‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’ ‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’ ‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’ ‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’ ‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’ ‘  haha oops i care about you  ’ ‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’ ‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’ ‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’ ‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’ ‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’ ‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’ ‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’ ‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’ ‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’ ‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’ ‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’ ‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’ ‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

[ohkimani]

fuck it. anytime i talk to someone about this, they never take me seriously and im so sick of it. you say i can talk to you about anything that im feeling but im telling you this shit is really fucking me up and the most you can say is some shit like ‘wow sorry’ or ‘omg that’s crazy’ like i get it, sometimes you dont have shit to say but damn. or if i do start ot talk about it or something else with anyone, i get cut off because something else is more interesting or what ever you say is more interesting. this is why im always posting so much on this damn site because i cant get interrupted when im typing. this is why if i ever feel some type of way, i dont say anything until im t h i s close to killing myself because what’s the point anyway? what are you going to say to make me feel any better. what can i say to you to make you feel better. i feel like a failure of a person if i have to go to you about what i feel because now not only am i giving you my sadness and my deadweight (tainting your life, basically) but im also admitting to my own weakness and as a black young woman i cant afford to do that any more than i have in the last two years. so you know what? if this post is already too long for you then keep scrolling. otherwise, listen the fuck up because im gonna tell you how im pretty sure i have ruined my whole ass brain with some wacky shit.

*fstfwd to the part where im walking from the dorms to the track* 

at first im cool, you know? im really chilling like having a blast until suddenly i feel that like dehydrated feeling where everything gets bright af and im a little dizzy. so i take a pause on the brick wall next to the sidewalk. i think classes have just let out for the afternoon so a good amount of people are walking by me. i still feel that ‘i havent had any water all day but im gonna do this super hard workout’ feeling as im sitting on the wall. then i look at people, and theyre all looking directly back at me (in hindsight, they weren’t) but when i blink, they turn their heads in slow motion away from me. now im getting worried. so i stand up slowly and make my way further down the hill towards the track. now i only see three people....but i keep seeing the same three people. i cant feel my body at all anymore now. not in like a ‘numb’ way but more like, my being has become the air around my body instead of my body itself. im walking on a treadmill now but the treadmill is made out of the sidewalk ive been walking on. everything is passing me but ive been walking in place for what seems like centuries. the guy in the red shirt passes me a fourth time and this time i make eye contact. as i look at him, his head splits into two different heads and they start to twist around each other. i try to ignore it because i know that any sort of freak out will not end well, so i pretend it’s normal and keep walking. i’ve finally made it to the crosswalk somehow and the sun is beaming on my arms. the heat feels different. it feels more like my skin is just different where the sun is hitting it. so i look up at the sun and the sky starts turning purple. again, i act like it’s normal. the same guy who’s head just split into two is standing next to me now as the crosswalk light tells us the cross. now im walking down the hill, still on the treadmill while ‘confidently lost’ keeps playing in my earphones. i lose track of what i hear normally and what’s in the song which is why im confused when this girl (one of the only three people i kept seeing on my walk) comes up to my other shoulder. she looks like a normal student, brown hair in a ponytail with super duper green eyes. like vegetable green. i dont take my earphones out but she looks at me and says “well....this is it”. and she keeps walking in front of me. a few steps later i start thinking she means death. then i start freaking out as im processing that i died and im trapped on our campus for eternity, walking on the same treadmill forever. then i start thinking maybe im in some sort of coma and there is a world outside of the one im living in. i go along with this idea. everything starts moving slower though and it’s scaring me because i see every phase of the movements. i move my hand in front of my face and i see 10 of them go by until they turn into one. i keep doing this until the trees around the walkway start bending and twirling in my way. (anyone on the outside wouldve seen me climbing over nonexistent small fences). the song is still playing and it’s driving me crazy because i dont know if i actually hear birds chirping or not. after wrestling and climbing my way through trees, i find myself at the track. i look up and the sky is still purple but the track itself is starting to rotate. i see som many people moving at once and it’s scaring me. it’s scaring me a lot that all of these people have the ability to move so much and i dont. so i turn around and walk to the locker room. i lay down on the couch and people filter in and out. no one really questions what’s wrong with me just laying there in normal, non-athletic clothes, staring at the wall (another concern we’ll address later because at least i know if i do off myself no one will actually care) except for ashley who assumes ive been crying because my eyes are bloodshot and swollen. some friends come in and just think im ignoring them talking to me about their problems, etc. i dont say anything. so i close my eyes (at least i think i do) everything goes black, like curtains have dropped and i see little bits of things that i thought i forgot from my life literally fly by me. like super quick trailers. then four circles appear at the end of a tunnel thing that was formed by these scenes and they start spinning around themselves. im aware of everything happening within my body at this point. i can feel every drop of blood inside me. my heart is beating slower than i recall it ever beating and when it does, it’s one hard pound against my chest. the air conditioner in the locker room turns on and i can tell because it’s making every nerve stand on end and the goosebumps raising from my skin are excruciatingly painful because i can feel them rising. like the intensity of everything my body was doing was just.......too much to handle. i start thinking “wait is this death or did i already die? is this official death?” and then i black out and come to when im at my apartment door and im unlocking it. i have no idea when i got here or when i made the decision to come here but here i am. i check the time on my watch “13:42″ and then go to sleep. i wake up and it’s dark outside. i check my phone and apparently ive had an entire conversion with my coach who was concerned after seeing me walk to the gate and turn around and a few random snaps, etc. i have no idea what happened. i start questioning which reality im supposed to exist in and i start wondering if the one ive been living in all along has been a hallucination. and the other day when i experienced pretty much the same thing again, it was a bit different because this time, my realities kept changing. like when you walk from one room to another, that’s how i would feel looking from one object to another. i dont ever want to feel this again but it’s obviously had some lingering affect because every now and then ill see something in my vision that i know isnt there, i wont process things ive done until way later (like responding to my boss today at a meeting. i didnt process that i said something to her until she was responding because in my head i was like ‘why is she talking to me rn’. ill be doing my usual walks and i’ll start feeling like im on a treadmill again. i dont know if it’s an out of body thing or if that’s what dissociating really is.....idk but it’s fucking scary because it feels like my entire being keeps leaving my physical being for brief seconds. that’s my story. that’s all i have wanted to say to people who pretend to care.

[dimsumdamsel]

92 truths that you dont really need to know about me but im gonna tell you anyway ! !

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

tagged by: @slavshiro ohoo THANK YOU ILY

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mom just called me to tell me to turn the stove on [3] text message: the love of my life, sonia!!! [4] song you listened to:  말이야 (I Mean That) by CLC!!! quality song  [5] time you cried:  dec 8 when i thought i only got 10/60 on my calc final cause i had an anxiety attack in the middle of it and called my cousin on her birthday and cried to her about being worthless and how my parents deserve a better daughter, one more like my successful brother :^) i havent cried since then because im even more dead than ive ever been :^)

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope, i dont want to relive any of my past relationships; i mean it ended for a reason so? but maybe for a future relationship if it comes to it?? theres still an extremely low chance of it happening though lol  [7] been cheated on: not that i know of but probably not [8] kissed someone and regretted it: ksjngkejrnkgne yeah, elementary school with isaiah mike lmao what a mistake  [9] lost someone special: mmmm not recently  [10] been depressed: i’m honestly not sure– like its not bad enough to where i would need medicine but i do feel down, empty, and find it hard to be happy a lot?? its mostly cause of school but baHhhhahaH yikes dog pictures never fail to cheer me up though [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: im a good girl, i dont plan on drinking until im legally allowed to lmao even than, i probably would still be reluctant 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] orange (orange clothes are ugly though) [13] cream / white !  [14] dark blues ! 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: sweats honestly no, i havent made any new friends for a couple years now? i mean i met people form key club but i dont talk to them often  [16] fallen out of love: i guess  [17] laughed until you cried: i think so  [18] found out someone was talking about you: yO SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME TODAY THAT SOMEONE I DATED KEEPS TELLING MY OTHER FRIEND THAT HE MISSED ME AND honestly get over me please, like its been like what nine months now and youre not going to get anywhere with mulling in the past? dont bother other people about this because they dont want to hear it.  [19] met someone who changed you: NOT IN THE PAST YEAR KFKNDFKE [20] found out who your true friends are: i never have fake friends? like even if they wanted to gain something from me there would be nothing to get lmao [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nAH

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: probably a little more than three fourths [23] do you have any pets: i have a six inch fish, my dad has a six inch fish, and my mom has two smaller three inch fish (the ones my dad and i own are at least five years old now and the ones my mom has are less than a year old) [24] do you want to change your name: nope, my parents chose it for me and i want to honor that, plus i dont think any other names would suit me  [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went out to eat kbbq with sonia and then stayed home for the rest of the day !!!!! thank you sonia ohoo i would’ve just spent it doing nothing wihtout you kjngkjer [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: dinking around on my phone probably [28] name something you cannot wait for: short term: the week to end, long term: owning a dog  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 minutes ago  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i was more confidant about myself and my ability to do things  [31] what are you listening to right now: good luck by aoa [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i know a tommy??  [33] something that is getting on your nerves: :3 [34] most visited website: “tinklr dot hell” [35] elementary: i miss my elementary school friends : ( [36] high school: fuck the counselors  [37] college: high school + more crying honestly, i like it though, i feel more free (at least in the running start program lmao) im waiting to see if UW seattle and bothell want me next year though and i really want to die at the though of them not accepting me cause i’ll just be an even bigger disappointment to my family lol  [38] hair color: dark brown but a chestnut-ish color in the sun (i really want to dye my hair so its that chestnut color all the time though) [39] long or short hair: i like short hair but i currently have long hair thats three or four inches under my armpits, i plan on cutting it soon though [40] do you have a crush on someone: no serious ones, just the “wow he smiled at me “ and “gOd he held the door for me i am Snatched” kind of little crushes [41] what do you like about yourself?: i like that i was able to make good friends [42] piercings: ears [43] blood type: B+ i think– not completely sure if im + or - but i know its B for sure [44] nickname: none, just pet names from sonia and jiejie by gil ohoo [45] relationship status: single and not really looking for anything, i just want a dog [46] zodiac sign: sagittarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i surprisingly have a lot of favorite american shows like bones, psych, monk, criminal minds, leverage, saving hope, pushing daisies, ghost whisperer, basically all shows on ion tv minus law&order, then theres gravity falls and bobs burger, and then a bunch of animes and dramas [49] tattoos: none but ive always wanted one either on my wrist or inner arm ! [50] right or left handed: right handed

FIRST… [51] surgery: never  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: lisa! we’ve literally known each other since we were born and shes always going to be my favorite cousin and one of my best friends [54] sport: track  [55] vacation: dont remember very well?? i saw some vcr tapes of us going to disney in 2001 though [56] pair of trainers: ive never had any trainers, just running shoes?? i had small red sandals that squeaked whenever i walked when i was a kid though 

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water (ive been drinking so much water lately but i’m always thirsty so i lowkey think theres something wrong with me) [59] i’m about to: knock out  [60] listening to:  情歌王 by leo ku (its like a compilation of classic love songs thats 13 minutes long but i could sing the entire thing karaoke style easily)  [61] waiting for: death  [62] want: to not disappoint my parents, my friends, or myself anymore  [63] get married: eventually i guess  [64] career: student, scribe/visual interpreter/reader/proctor for my college’s DSS 

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs !  [66] lips or eyes: eyes ! ! which is funny cause making eye contact with people makes me Uncomfortable  [67] shorter or taller: taller please, im tired of being the taller friend and i want to feel small for once  [68] older or younger: older, i’ve had enough with younger guys lmao  [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic but spontaneous is good too  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess  [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive?? [72] hook up or relationship: relationship wtf i dont even get how hook ups work alright  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant lmao 

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no what the heck [75] drank hard liquor? nope  [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? lost contacts (which sucks cause i wear hard contacts since they cant make soft ones with my prescription and only replace them once a year, thankfully i can use the ones from previous years) but never glasses  [77] turned someone down: no  [78] sex on first date? yikes no  [79] broken someone’s heart? ya but it was for the best [80] had your own heart broken? ya but i was never that sad about it [81] been arrested? no oml i sweat every time i see cop cars [82] cried when someone died? no one close to me has died so far, but i def cried at the ladies’ code car accident  [83] fallen for a friend: nope 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? i want to  [85] miracles? yes but i have yet to witness any [86] love at first sight? mmmm to a certain extent– i think its mostly based on looks but when you get to know them that when the real love happens [87] santa claus? used to exist probably  [88] kiss on the first date? depends  [89] angels? yeah, why not 

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: sonia del casal : ) [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movie: listen ive watched your name (kimi no na wa) a grand total of sixteen (16) times and i could still watch it another ten times (i love to suffer)

tagging @sweet-hunny, @hideous-kojimmies , @panda-p-king, @puervy , @otonai , @izumiiz , @hxanns , anyone cause yikes i dont know very many people