#if they weren't two of the nicest guys on the island

[qsmprambling]

Etoiles is like the only guy who GETS Bad's character heck ya

[aggimaginary]

The Bad Guys Season 1: Our Own Story (chapter 40) - You and Me, Together

First Previous

Finally! The last chapter of The Bad Guys season 1. I really hope you enjoyed this story and all the chapters I created with the help of my two best friends, MasterClass60 and TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3. But first, I hope you'll love this last chapter.

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Intro

Mr. Wolf: Yeah! I'm bad!

Mr. Snake: You're bad!

Ms. Tarantula: He's bad!

Mr. Hornet: She's bad!

Mr. Piranha: We're bad!

Mr. Shark: Who's bad?

The Bad Guys: Yeah! We're the Bad Guys!

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Vacationing in Santa Catalina Island was a blast. The Bad Guys spent 3 days on that island just to relax, and wind up their minds about what happened to Hornet losing his life but gaining it back again. Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula had their suspicions while Piranha and Hornet didn't say a word since they left the island and made it to their hideout. Deep down, Piranha and Hornet felt a little awkward being close to each other after having night stands... twice during their vacation. They do enjoy it, and they still love each other for it, but they weren't ready to tell the others about their new relationship. They need the right time to announce. But for now, they had to keep it a secret and lay low.

One morning, Hornet got out of his bedroom after waking up to get some breakfast. Like everyone morning, Piranha woke up early to make breakfast. But the two encountered at the counter, there was still awkwardness in the air.

"Uh... Hello, Piranha," Hornet started, trying to act casual, "Lovely weather we're having."

Piranha grinned nervously, "Hello, Hornet. How's your salary so far?"

But Hornet got tired of this awkwardness as he expressed, "Okay, this is just weird. Although my salary is actually doing quite well, thank you."

"Sorry, I guess I'm just a little freaked out after the... lip-touching thing," Piranha confessed.

"Yeah, that, uh, lip-touching thing was... unexpected."

"Unexpected like winning the lottery? Or unexpected like getting mauled by a bear?"

Hornet started to explain the comparison between those two choices, "Though lottery winners experience an immediate sense of euphoria, it often devolves into a miserable existence marred by alienation, lawsuits, and broken relationships. While bear attack survivors, on the other hand, often develop a new appreciation and zest for life. So kissing you was as good as being mauled by a bear.

"Thanks, Hornet. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Piranha was flattered as he and Hornet shared a gentle hug.

Meanwhile, Wolf came out of the elevator with pencils, and he noticed the two., Hey, guys. What's going on?"

The two realized that Wolf was behind them, and he saw them hugging. They quickly let go, and felt panic about how to explain what was happening.

"Help! Hornet's trying to steal my wallet!" Piranha ran away from Ho0rnet and hid behind Wolf.

"What? You were just..." Hornet was about to correct Piranha about what was happening.

"About to blow my scary stranger whistle on you!" Piranha took out a whistle, and blew it hard.

But Wolf felt for it and he rolled his eyes, and said, "Okay. I am not going to let another Piranha-Hornet trouble ruin my perfect day. I won a package of pencils in the lottery!"

The canine squealed as he ran towards his room, but Snake approached him, blocking his way to his bedroom door, "Hey, Wolf. Can I have a pencil?"

Wolf suddenly frowned, and said regretfully, "Look, Snake. Everyone's been asking me for pencils, and I already sent one each to Diane, Mira, and Mrs. Gardener. Look, I'm so sorry, but I just can't."

"Fine, Wolf! I thought we were friends!" Snake hissed, "You know, having pencils has changed you," he then slithered away grumpily from Wolf.

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Later, Hornet was reading a good book until Piranha came into the room before closing the door behind him.

"Hey, Hornet. I'm sorry I accused you of stealing my wallet in front of Wolf," Piranha apologized.

"Yeah, I did not appreciate that. First of all, I don't steal. I just needed to borrow some lunch money," Hornet explained, "Second of all, it's really more of a ladies' change purse," he took out Piranha's change purse.

"You actually took my change... Wallet?!" Piranha exclaimed as he snatched his purse from Hornet, "I was just covering because I didn't want Wolf and the guys to know that you and I are... What are we now?"

Labels aren't important. All that matters is that your money is my money now," Hornet took Piranha's purse from him, "Wait. Why don't you want Wolf or the rest of the guys to know about us?"

"Well, we're all such good friends. I just don't want things between us to be weird," Piranha replied, "I say when they're around, we just pretend like everything between us is the way it always was."

"So be viciously mean to each other?"

"Exactly."

When Piranha and Hornet got out of the room to go with the plan, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula were doing their own business with Snake and Shark drink coffee, and Tarantula was watching TV. Then, Wolf came out of his room, and showed his friends the pencil he had left.

"Hey, guys. Look at this. I have even less pencil than I did before I won the lottery," his pencil became a toothpick.

"Well, at least that pencil is sharper than Piranha!" Hornet punched Piranha on the shoulder.

"Yeah? Well, you punch like a girl!" Piranha clutched his punched arm as he winced, "A very powerful girl!"

Now curious, Tarantula turned off the TV, and crawled up on the backrest, "Dude, what is up with you? Ever since our vacation, you two started to... hate each other."

"It is weird when I see it," Shark added

"Well, this has got to stop," Wolf suggested before smirking, "And I know just how to do it."

"Lock us in a room together, alone, and leave us there for hours?" Hornet asked, hoping it was a good suggestion so he and Piranha would have alone time together.

"Yeah! Just the two of us, alone, having a make-up session?" Piranha smiled, trying to hide his blush.

"Actually, I have a better idea," Wolf said.

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The next thing Piranha and Hornet knew was that they were safety gears, hooked by lines for safety, and stood at the side of the Wilshire Grand Center building.

"This is your better idea?!" Piranha yelled with Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula watched them by the window in front of the two, "The Wilshire Grand Center version of Edgewalk? You know I'm acrophobic!"

"And I'm falling-to-my-death-and-ending-up-a-bloody-stain to-be-eaten by-crows-aphobic!" Hornet whimpered, imagining his obituary. Despite that he could fly, he couldn't as his wings were tied to prevent him from flying out of the situation.

"Look, you two need to learn how to get along. And the strongest emotional connections are forged between people who survive life or death situations together," Tarantula pointed, "War buddies, bank hostages, members of a bear attack survivors group."

"Gah! She's so smart with facts like me!" Hornet yelled with a jealous tone.

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Half an hour later, Piranha and Hornet were still tied on their ropes while the wind gave them pressure to swing aside, They both screamed as they thought they were about to fall.

"Okay, okay! It worked! Hornet and I are friends now!" Hornet yelled in panic.

"But we haven't gotten to the danger part yet," Snake said,

"We haven't?!" Piranha and Hornet exclaimed

"Maybe you'd care more about Piranha if you lost him forever!" Wolf said to Hornet before nudging at Shark, "Go for it, Shark."

Shark knew his assignment at this cue as he took out a hedge shear, and cut Piranha's rope, causing him to fall.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Piranha's voice echoed until it faded to silence,

"NNOOOOOOO!" Hornet cried,

"See? You care," Tarantula smirked.

"He's dead! Piranha is dead!" Hornet sobbed,

"No, he isn't. While you two were peeing your windpants and changing floors every 5 minutes, we all moved down to ground level. Piranha fell two feet," Wolf explained.

Hornet turned around to see that they were actually close to the ground. Piranha and Hornet had been climbing down the building every five seconds with the rest of the Bad Guys changed windows. Because of fear and the activity, Piranha and Hornet didn't realize they were close to the ground all this time.

Piranha got up from the fall, and he was covered with cactus prickles. "Yeah. Into the cactus garden."

"Hornet! Oh, thank goodness you're alive!" Hornet was happy that Piranha was alive after all as the latter got up, and Hornet hugged him, only to be poked by one of the prickles, "And ow!" Hornet pulled away before kissing Piranha on the cheek a couple of times.

The Bad Guys were a little surprised that Wolf's plan worked too well.

"Wow. This worked even better than I thought it would, "Wolf said, until he realized it went odd between Piranha and Hornet as he asked, "Wait. What's going on here?"

The other Bad Guys had the same question as well as they stared at Piraha and Hornet curiously.

Realizing there was no going back from this now, Hornet confessed as he sat on Piranha's shoulder, "Okay, the truth is Piranha and I are a couple now."

"What?!" Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula gasped in shock.

Just then, Tiffany Fluffit and her cameraman came out from the bushes as they were hiding and recording this moment in secret, and they captured everything that happened, even the conversations of the Bad Guy were heard via boom mic.

"And there you have it, folks," Tiffany announced on camera as her camera got a good angle of Tiffany while showing Piranha and Hornet on the same screen with her, "Two Bad Guys, Mr. Piranha and Mr. Hornet are in a relationship! Let's see where their romance takes them as we dive into their story, and who knows when they'll last-"

In a state of panic, Hornet took off his helmet, and threw it on Tiffany, but he threw it so hard, the helmet knocked the reporter out, causing the cameraman to drop the camera.

"Sorry!" Hornet yelled.

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Back in their hideout, the Bad Guys returned home with Piranh and Hornet wearing their causal clothes back on, and Hornet's wings were untied, so he was able to fly again, but felt guilty for almost killing a reporter.

Wolf just off from calling Diane, and announced to the gang, "Well, Diane said that Ms. Fluffit will be fine. She only received a minor injury on her skull, but she'll recover tomorrow."

"Phew. I don't know my own helmet's strength," Hornet sighed in relief.

Now that problem cleared out, the other Bad Guys were still on the same page regarding Piranha and Hornet's new relationship.

"So, you guys are dating together?" Wolf asked.

"Since when?" Shark inquired.

"Well, we're not exactly dating, we're just starting," Piranha corrected.

"Plus, it started... back on Santa Catalina Island," Hornet added.

"Oooh, you mean... yeah, now I remember," Snake said, remembering how Piranhas and Hornet got out of their hotel rooms late in the morning.

"But, we're your best friends. Why would you keep it secret from us?" Tarantula questioned.

"Well, that was Piranha's idea," Hornet answered before feeling surprised, "That's weird. Piranha had an idea? He's never had an idea before," he then turned to his now-called partner, "What would motivate you to have an idea?"

"I have no idea," Piranha admitted.

But that didn't matter anymore. All that matters to the group is that Piranha and Hornet, once best friends, became a couple. It took them 4 years to realize that.

"Well, we're very happy for the two of you," Wolf admitted.

"Very happy," Tarantula ruffled Hornet's head and antenna.

"That's my little brother!" Shar grabbed Piranha, and gave him a noogie.

Piranha chuckled from Shark's noogie before being released, "Well, thanks, amigos,"

"Yeah. We're glad you didn't find it weird," Hornet smiled.

"We're already over that since that rumor," Snake admitted.

"Yeah. Why don't we go out to celebrate? You know, just us guys hanging out, and our two lovebirds are finally together," Wolf suggested, "I'll call my treat."

The other Bad Guys cheered as it was a good idea.

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By taking the car into the city, the Bad Guys tried to find somewhere to eat. They decided to eat in a cafe since it was still morning. They would need something for brunch.

As Wolf parked the car on the sidewalk, the group had to walk to the cafe. It was only a few yards. Even though Piranha and Hornet were happy with their relationship, even had to be by each other's side from now on, there were people passing by who started to whisper about them. They heard something embarrassing and awful from other people's mouths about the two. They even shared how they feel about the two Bad Guys' new relationship, and even had disgusting expressions on their faces.

"Are they even allowed to do...this?"

"That looks really gay."

"Can't believe this appears to be smooth sailing along."

"Is it really possible to even hold the same eye level at the line with a fish and an insect?"

"Don't know if that's valid given they're not even the same height."

"They're not even the same species, and it's disturbing."

"Mommy, how can these two be in love?"

"Don't look, honey. They're getting worse than being criminals."

Piranha and Hornet noticed how other people reacted to them, and it concerned the two. They tried to ignore them, but it got into their heads. As Bad Guys, they didn't take criticism about their reputation too seriously, but when it comes to relationships. It was different, and stronger than reputation.

Hornet had to put his helmet on, and Piranha shield half of his face with his fin. The other Bad Guys noticed them hiding their shame as they were concerned for their friends.

When the gang arrived at the cafe, Piranha and Hornet rushed to an empty booth, and sat there, trying to relax with Hornet removing his helmet. The other Bad Guys sat beside them.

A customer turned around and saw how Piranha and Hornet acted so differently.

"What's with them?" He asked.

"What's with your face?!" Wolf yelled, causing the customer to roll his eyes and ignore him. Wolf then whispered to Piranha and Hornet, "What is with you? I thought you two liked having a relationship."

Hornet groaned, "We know, but why people talked about us?"

"A lot of people talked about us all the time," Shark reminded.

"Not about our reputation and redemption. We're talking about our relationship," Piranha clarified.

"You know, it's new that a piranha and a hornet, a fish and a bug, both guys, are in love and in a relationship. So, maybe it is the talk of the day," Tarantula explained.

Piranha and Hornet glanced at each in worry. And they thought the rumors were the worst "talk of the day."

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Later, when the Bad Guys returned to their hideout. They got a chance to watch TV and caught their eyes on the news.

"Word has continued to spread around regarding the romantic relationship between Mr. Piranha and Mr. Hornet of the Bad Guys. And by that, opinions appear to be quite torn as people begin contextualizing it, nearly leaning over to find it 'fishy'. However, we are yet to find the full nature and whether this new boat will float weighs on if that impossible relationship will proceed."

Wolf quickly turned it off as Piranha and Hornet were feel embarrassed about how their relationship went public too soon.

"I'm not comfortable with this," Hornet dumped his head on the table.

"Yeah, and I know it's alright both guys can date," Piraha pointed out about their gender.

"Yeah, it's fine, but not as different species."

"But does it matter? I like a piranha and a hornet dating each other," Tarantula commented.

"Look, ignore them. They'll get over with," Snake suggested.

Just then, Hornet received a notification from his helmet, and received a message from Mira, "Guys, I'll meet up with Mira today. I wanna talk to her that her story about the rumors... worked," he rolled his eyes, and flew off, taking the window.

When the Bad Guys waved goodbye at Hornet, Piranha just felt devastated as he let out a sigh.

"What's wrong Piranha? Everything okay?" Shark asked in concern.

"You know that Hornet and I were now in a relationship?" Piranha asked, "Well, we're not officially a couple. We didn't ask each other, so... maybe... I..." He took a deep breath, "I wanna ask him."

"Really? When?" Tarantula asked excitingly.

"Tonight, but I want it to be perfect. I wanna make dinner later, and ask him to be my boyfriend."

"So, that concludes your relationship as a couple?" Snake asked for clarification.

"Yeah," Piranha nodded.

"Well, go get em' tiger," Wolf patted Piranha on the back.

"Alone. Without you guys," Piranha warned.

"Oh, alright then. We better leave you alone! Excuse us for a second," Wolf gestured Snake, Shark, and Tarantula to his room as they followed him to his room.

Once Piranha was alone, Wolf closed the door, and made sure it was closed tight and locked.

"Are you serious, Wolf? We're going to leave Piranha and Hornet alone on their first official date?" Snake asked.

Wold turned around with a sly smirk on his face, "Oh, I didn't say that, Snake. Because if Piranha wanted a perfect night to ask Hornet to be his boyfriend, I know exactly how this will be done perfectly."

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Meanwhile, at Mira's house, Hornet and Mira were drinking coffee as Mira offered Hornet a straw for him to drink.

"So, you and Piranha are in a relationship... for real, huh?" Mira chuckled while stirring her coffee with a spoon.

Hornet blushed after taking a sip from his drink, "Yeah, but not officially. We didn't even ask each other yet,"

"What do you mean?"

'"You know, like 'Would you be my boyfriend?' and something like that?"

"Well, are you planning to ask?" Mira asked with a smirk on her face.

Hornet gently pulled down his antenna, "I... maybe. I don't know. I mean, I love Piranha, and I want him to be my boyfriend, but... I'm just afraid that maybe we need more time to think it through."

Just then, he received a message in his helmet, and checked on his inbox.

"Who's that?" The journalist asked.

"Piranha texted me that he wanted me home, and there is something he wanna show me... and also, he hoped I'll wear something formal," the insect answered.

Mira asked excitingly, "Maybe he'll finally ask you out!"

Hornet smiled, "Maybe."

"Well, you go. I'll take care of the dishes."

"Thanks, Mira. See ya."

Hornet quickly flew off by taking the door as Mira watched her good friend go, and picked up the tea set.

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Later at night, the lights of the hideout were all dim. Piranha just set up a dinner table in the kitchen section of the hideout. He finished cooking spaghetti without meatballs, had a small candlelight and a flower vase in the middle, and two plates on two sides of the table. He was already wearing his formal clothes, still the same ones he wore on every occasion.

"Perfect," Piranha stared at the dinner table he made. He loved it. It was perfect. He hoped Hornet would love it too.

Hornet suddenly came out of the room, wearing his kimono again. It was one of his only formal clothes, "Hey, Piranha."

Piranha was surprised to see Hornet behind him and already in his clothes, "Hornet! Since when did you get here?"

"Well, I used the windows, and I had to wear something formal," Hornet explained, but then, when he flew towards Piranha, "So... what is this all about?"

"Well, um... I prepared dinner. Just the two of us," Piranha pointing his fins at the diner table next to him

"Aww, Piranha," Hornet cooed appreciatively as he flew towards Piranha, and stared at the dinner table. It was simple but beautiful, "But what about the others?"

"Oh, they're in their rooms, minding their own business," Piranha answered.

In Wolf's bedroom, Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula narrowly opened the door to take a peak at what was going on.

"You bet we are," Wolf whispered while holding a remote, and the other Bad Guys chuckled in excitement.

Piranha quickly took out a small chair for Hornet's size, and asked, "Anyway, shall we?"

Hornet smiled flatteringly as he accepted the seat. Piranha rushed to his chair to sit on his chair to start dinner.

While eating dinner, Hornet was enjoying the meatless spaghetti Piranha made, "It's delicious, Piranha. Spaghetti with no meatballs. I love it."

Piranha beamed as he was proud that his soon-to-be-boyfriend loved his cook, "I know you're a vegetarian, so I decided to cook something with no meat required."

Hornet blushed. He couldn't believe his soon-to-be-boyfriend knew him very well. Piranha will make a good boyfriend for him after all, "I love it."

When Piranha was almost done with his food, he couldn't stop thinking about telling Hornet about their relationship, and he wanted to tell him as soon as possible. It's now and never.

"Hey, Hornet," Piranha cleared his throat, and it caught Hornert's attention, "There is something... I wanna tell you."

Hornet swallowed a strand of pasta, and gulped, "What is it?"

When Piranha was about to talk, the lights became full brighter, and there were cardboard bushes, flowers, hearts, and little romantic animals with pink, blue (dark and light), yellow, and purple ribbons and animatronic animals while romantic music was played in the background. Piranha was surprised that the whole hideout was decorated in romantic for him and Hornet for this moment.

Piranha started to feel embarrassed by this, "If Hornet sees this, she'll think I'm such a loser!"

"What is this?" Hornet asked curiously

Piranha cupped his face, and let out a horrified groan. He had no idea what was going on, until he realized he knew who was responsible for this, "Guys!" He yelled, referring to the rest of his friends.

Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula snickered as they continued to watch the whole moment from Wolf's room. Wolf continued to control the hideout with the remote and with Tarantula's help and her hacking skills.

When Wolf pushed a button, an animatronic cat popped out from the floor, and waving a paw while its other paw held a bouquet of flowers. Piranha buried her face into his hands mortified. Hornet looked to the side, and saw two giant cardboard birds holding a giant cardboard heart saying "I think you're smart, amazing, and cool." Flattered, Hornet gave off a small smile, and his whole face glowed as he started playing with his antenna.

Piranha squeaked anxiously, "Oh, no. I'm gonna be made fun of this."

"Did you—uh—did you just say something?" Hornet asked when he thought he heard Piranha saying something.

Before Piranha could answer, he saw another display behind Hornet: two bees surrounding a heart saying "Hornet bee mine".

"No!" He quickly jumped over Hornet, and tore down the display before getting up and holding an antenna, "That was—uh—an invasive species."

Just then, an arrow shot out from a small hole in a wall, and was pinned above the sink. Said arrow has a note that read, "Hornet- U R A QT". Piranha gave a terrified yelp as more arrows were fired at them. All arrows had notes on them, so Piranha knew what those notes contained as he deflected the arrows with the antenna prop.

"I'm so sorry, Hornet! This is not supposed to happen!"

Hornet's face started to fall as he felt a little hurt by Piranha's reaction.

As more animatronic animals popped out, representing a romantic theme and the song got louder, Piranha, unable to take this embarrassment anymore, threw a glass at an animatronic cupid. Hornet gasped in horror as Piranha let out a battle cry, and rushed around the hideout to destroy every prop, display, and animatronic as quickly as possible to stop this embarrassment, completely unaware of the look of despair Hornet now has. He was devastated that he thought Piranha wasn't as romantic as he thought he was, and turned down romance, which meant he turned down the latter as well.

After he got rid of every romantic prop and display, and the romantic music stopped, Piranha panted as he slowly got back to the dinner table

"This... was a nightmare," he sighed.

"Yeah, it kinda was," Hornet flew off from his seat, and headed towards the direction of his room, "I'll get out of your fins."

"Hornet, wait," Piranha followed him as he tried to explain, "This wasn't me. This was all of our friends' stupid idea.

"Yeah. This was stupid. I mean, us? Dating? Heh. That's stupid, right?" Hornet turned around, wiping away a tear.

Piranha gasped loudly. This wasn't what he meant when all these romantic things weren't his idea. He did want to have a real romance with Hornet and wanted to ask him to be his boyfriend, but not like this.

In Wolf's room, Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula facepalmed at this moment. They were trying to help, and Piranha blew his chances.

Hornet turned back around, and headed to his room. Piranha feared that once Hornet get into his room and shut the door, there was no chance for him to ask the insect out.

"Hornet. Don't go," Piraha begged until he blurted out three familiar and specific swords, "I LOVE YOU!"

This made Hornet halt from entering his room as he was surprised by what Piranha just said. Even Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula were shocked at this as well as they were silent to hear more.

Hornet turned around with a shocked look on his face, flew closer to Piranha, and asked, "What did you say?"

Piranha didn't know where that came from, but no matter what he said, it came from his heart. He took a deep breath, and confessed, "I said... I love you."

Hornet was speechless. He wanted to tell Piranha that he loved him too. He loved him so much, but he realized that they weren't an official thing yet, and he didn't know what to say to ask him. He looked down while trying to hide his blush, and trying to think what he would say.

Piranha saw the look on Hornet's face. He knew the insect was speechless. A lot of people were surprised when their partners told them the three-letter word. There should be an aftermath for this. Piranha took a deep breath, and confessed, "Hornet, I was just... I've been wanting to ask you out since the moment we made in Santa Catalina Island. But I thought we already an item, and if we weren't yet, I wanted to do it in the best way."

Hornet blushed as he said, "I don't want it to be the 'best' way if you want to make it too much perfect."

"Okay. Everything is so crazy between us lately, and I have no idea what my future holds, but it would be so cool if you were in it. So... uh..." Piranha stared at the ground, then takes several deep breaths but before he can say anything, Hornet interrupted him with his face blushing. "Will you be my boyfriend?!" He asked quickly and excitedly.

Piranha exhaled embarrassingly, "Nooo, I was so ready..."

Feeling guilty for being the first one to ask, Hornet laughed as he said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you can say it."

Piranha sighed while his face was still blushing, "Okay. Mr. Hornet, will you be my boyfriend?" "Yes!" Hornet exclaimed.

"Okay!" Piranha yelled happily.

Unsure of what to do now, Piranha timidly held out his hand, and Hornet flew closer to Piranha's hand, and took it into his own.

"Why is this still so scary?" Piranha whispered while looking down at their hands holding together.

"I don't know," Hornet admitted while staring at their hands together.

The rest of the Bad Guys were still in Wolf's room as the doors were slightly opened, and they watched the whole scene, Shark was quietly sobbing as he wiped his tears with a napkin, while Wolf, Snake, and Tarantula happily watched while trying to ignore Shark's cry.

"Dang, those two really are something," Wolf said.

Piranha and Hornet were still holding hands, and they didn't know what to do next. It has been awkward, and they barely even moved at this moment.

Snake was getting impatient about when this moment would end. He took Wolf's phone, and tapped on the screen, revealing to play some music. He even took Wolf's remote, and pushed a button, lowering the brightness of the lights, and two lights remained bright that were pointing down at the new couple. Now this was how to set up the perfect moment.

Piranha and Hornet were a little surprised by this as the mood began to be romantic again, causing the two to look at each other and blush.

Back to the rest of the Bad Guys, Wolf, Shark, and Tarantula smiled slyly at Snake for making the moment romantic for Piranha and Hornet.

Snake saw that look on his friends' faces, and said, "What? We need a mood here," he gave the remote and the phone back to Wolf, who happily accepted.

Since the night was still young, Piranha offered Hornet his fin again, which the latter accepted, and started to slow dance. As they dance, they stared at each other's eyes, and smiled for a moment before Hornet flew and laid on Piranha's shoulder as a hug. Piranha was a little surprised by this, but accepted it, and continued to slow dance. Wolf, Snake, Shark, and Tarantula just watched happily for them. When the two broke the hug, Piranha stared down at Hornet, and smiled, never thinking that his best friend would turn out to be his boyfriend. Hornet smiled back as he was happy he still lived another day, and became a love interest to his best friend, the person who could trust and count on, the one who saved him from the beginning. The two took a moment to take it all in before giving each other a romantic kiss. They don't care what the world would say about them, they were happy and relieved that they were finally together. They just hoped they would be like this for a long time.

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Credits:

Sam Rockwell - Mr. Wolf

Marc Maron - Mr. Snake

Craig Robinson - Mr. Shark

Anthony Ramos - Mr. Piranha

Awkwafina - Ms. Tarantula

Rhenzy Feliz - Mr. Hornet

Stephanie Beatriz - Mira Rose

Lilly Singh - Tiffany Fluffit

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Author Aggiemaginary

Co-Author MasterClass60 TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3

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This is it! The end of The Bad Guys season 1, but this isn't the end just yet. The Bad Guys had more adventures to come!

Half of the chapter was referenced to A.N.T. Farm: Meant to Be.

Piranha and Hornet's "disastrous" date scene was referenced to Owl House: Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Hooty's Door.

Special thanks to both MasterClass60 and TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3 for helping me with this entire story.

I was having so much fun making this story and the chapters. I had been planning this before The Bad Guys movie had even been released. There will be more stories for the Bad Guys.

Thank you all so much for supporting and enjoying this story. I hope you keep supporting me and my two co-authors.

See you real soon, everyone! Happy Pride Month once again, everyone!

First Previous

[quilna]

“…Lanyon's suave personality prevailed and he ended up being tentative to Jekyll's feelings or whether he kept himself emotionally distant throughout. Jekyll was also keeping emotionally distant so it's also possible that Lanyon matched that to try to give him space or out of worry of pushing him too hard.”

Once again, I love the idea of it being messy on both sides without their obviously being a “bad guy,” ya know, it feels truer to life in reality sometimes people just break up because shit happens…and I think it totally be within Jekyll’s power to cock it up in his own special way and to take his own biases and make a mess for himself in a relationship he really did love. They both seem to like, just never talked? And I guess that’s what fucked them is that they never were honest with each other. Like I keep coming back to the whole “(Lanyon) only dated people for a month or so” vs “eight months into the affair…” like Lanyon tell me your side of the STORY please! I’m missing so many puzzle pieces that I don’t even have the corners done!

I also think in my metaphorical jekyon playlist I’d throw in “Some girls” from once on this island, but like make it gay I guess. If only for the line “Some girls you marry…some you love…” because idk I do hc that Lanyon knew about his upcoming marriage before he told Jekyll and just stewed on it not really truly willing to give it up until ya know…he couldn’t keep up anymore (though I think the implication in the comic is…he resumed his fling searching after the marriage…probably propelled by the fact Everly’s a huge lesbian and wouldn’t care, and probably thankful children wouldn’t be an issue, but Jekyll probably doesn’t know that!)

We really need Lanyon's side of the story. Sabrina keeps mentioning in comments under the comic that Jekyll's memory of the relationship was in some way unreliable

Like, PLOT RELEVANT???

What did Jekyll get wrong? How much was he wrong? What was Lanyon actually like in that relationship? What was Jekyll really like in that relationship?

I need answers.

At least it can be at least 95% certain that those two weren't fully honest with each other. Those two feel like they fail communication in their daily lives, let alone in a relationship.

--

Ah, I didn't really think about the time between Lanyon being told about the marriage and him telling Jekyll. It wouldn't have exactly been easy to bring up. I wonder how many times he got to sit with Jekyll, trying to figure out in his head how he was going to finally say it, knowing each moment could be his last.

I wonder if Lanyon did resume fling searching after marriage. I don't recall any evidence that he did but it does seem like Everly wouldn't care. I wonder if it affected him that his first eight month long relationship got ended and in such a harsh way as well.

If he does still go fling searching, I can't help but think that maybe they're less frequent now, maybe last even less time.

I definitely imagine he was too scared to go back to Jekyll after that though, even after he found out that their relationship could be possible again - they didn't exactly exchange the nicest final words.

[thewidowsghost]

Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 3

Percy's POV

Confession time: I ditch Grover as soon as we get to the bus terminal.

I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover is kinda freaking me out, looking at me like I am a dead man, muttering, "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to be the sixth grade?"

Whenever he gets upset, Grover's bladder acts up, so I'm not surprised when, as soon as we get off the bus, he makes me promise to wait for him, then makes a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I get my suitcase, slip outside, and catch the first taxi uptown.

"East One-hundred-and-forth and First," I tell the driver.

A word about my mother, before you meet her.

Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck. Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.

The only good break she ever got was meeting mine and (Y/n)'s dad.

We didn't have any memories of him, just this warm sort of glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile. Our mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad; she has no pictures.

See, they weren't married. She told us he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.

Lost at sea, my mom had told us. Not dead. Lost at sea.

She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me and my twin on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.

Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.

Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along...well, when I came home is a good example.

I walk into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe is in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blares ESPN. Chips and beer cans are strewn all over the carpet.

Hardly looking, he says around his cigar, "So, you're home."

"Where's Mom and (Y/n)?" I wonder aloud.

"Your mom's working," he says. "You got any cash?"

That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?

"I don't have any cash," I toll him.

"Here," comes a voice, holding out a ten to the man.

Instantly, a smile sneaks its way onto my face.

"Hey, Perc," my twin sister says with a smile.

(Y/n)'s POV

I grab my brother's suitcase and carry it into his room; I set it down on the bed.

"You wanna come sit in my room?" I ask and Percy nods, a smile still on his face.

I lead the way to my room and when I open the door, Percy sinks into my desk chair.

"Percy?" comes our mom's voice.

She opens my bedroom door.

Our mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Percy or Gabe.

"Oh, Percy," she hugs her son tightly. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas.

Percy's POV

Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.

We sit together on the edge of (Y/n)'s bed. While I attack the blueberry sour strings, (Y/n) stealing a few pieces of candy from the bag, Mom runs her hand through my hair and demands to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She doesn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She doesn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right? The whole time, (Y/n)'s eyes were sparkling with amusement.

I tell Mom she is smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her and (Y/n).

From the other room, Gabe yells, "Hey, Sally—how about some bean dip, huh?"

I grit my teeth.

My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe.

For her sake, I try to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I tell her I'm not too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convince myself. I start choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly doesn't seem so bad.

Until that trip to the museum...

"What?" my mom asks. Her and my sister's eyes tug at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"

"No, Mom."

I feel back for lying. I want to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I think it'd sound stupid.

Mom purses her lips. Both she and (Y/n) could tell I was holding back, but neither push me.

(Y/n)'s POV

"I have a surprise for both of you," Mom says. "We're going to the beach."

Percy's eyes widen. "Montauk?"

"Three nights - same cabin."

"When?" I ask excitedly.

Mom smiles. "As soon as I get changed."

I can't believe it. Mom, Percy, and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money.

Gabe appears in my doorway and growls, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"

"I've got it," I offer, rising from the bed and walking out into the kitchen to make the dip for Mom.

An hour later, we are ready to leave.

Gabe takes a break from his poker game long enough to watch me and Percy lug Mom's bags to the car. He keeps griping and groaning about losing her cooking - and most importantly, his '78 Camaro - for the whole weekend.

"Not a scratch on this car, you two," he warns us as I load the last bag. "Not one little scratch."

Like we'd be the ones driving. We're twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame us.

We get into the Camero, me in the passenger's seat, and Percy in the back.

Our rental cabin is on the south shore, way out at the tip of the Long Island. It is a little pastel box with faded curtains, half-sunken into the dunes. There is always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea is too cold to swim in.

Percy and I love the place.

We'd been going there since Percy and I were babies. Our mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place she'd met mine and Percy's dad.

As we get closer to Montauk, Mom seems to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turning the color of the sea.

We arrive at the cabin, open all the cabin windows, and go through our usual cleaning routine. We walk on the beach, feed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and much on jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.

I guess I should explain the blue food.

See, Gabe had once told Mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a small thing at the time. But ever since, Mom had gone out of her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This - alone with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano - was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like Percy.

When it gets dark, we make a fire. We roast hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom tells us stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She tells us about the books she wanted to write when she gets enough money to quit the candy shop.

Finally, it seems that Percy gets the nerve to ask about what was always on our minds when we come to Montauk - our father. Mom's eyes go all misty. I figure that she was going to tell us the same things she always said, but neither Percy and I ever got tired of hearing them.

"He was kind, Percy," Mom says. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, two. You have his black hair, you know, Percy, and you both have his green eyes."

Mom fishes a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy, (Y/n). He would be so proud."

Percy's POV

I wondered how she could say that. What's so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of the school for the sixth time in six years.

"How old were we?" I ask. "I mean . . . when he left?"

Mom watches the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."

"But...he knew us as a baby."

"No, honey. He knew I was expecting twins, but he never saw you two. He had to leave before you were born."

I try to square that with the fact I seem to remember . . . something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.

(Y/n) and I had always assumed that he had known us as babies. Mom had never said it outright, but still, we'd always felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen us . . .

I realize I feel angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resent him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry Mom. He'd left us, and now we are stuck with Smelly Gable.

"Are you sending me away again?" I ask her. "To another boarding school."

She pulls a marshmallow from the fire.

"I don't know, honey." Mom's voice is heavy. "I think . . . I think we'll have to do something."

"Because you don't want me around?" I regret the words as soon as they come out of my mouth. (Y/n) bows her head, looking at the ground and Mom's eyes well with tears.

Mom takes my hand and squeezes it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I - I have to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."

Her words remind me of what Mr. Brunner had said - that it was best for me to leave Yancy.

"Because I'm not normal," I say.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe.

"Safe from what?"

She meets my eyes, and a flood of memories comes back to me - all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me and (Y/n), some of which we'd tried to forget.

During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked us on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed (Y/n) when she'd told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.

Before that—a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.

In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.

I know I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I can't make myself tell her. I have a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I don't want that.

"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom says. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy—the place your father wanted to send you two. And I just...I just can't stand to do it."

(Y/n)'s POV

"Our father wanted us to go to a special school?" I ask, a little confused.

"Not a school," she says softly. "A summer camp."

My head starts spinning. Why would my dad - who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me and Percy be born - talk about a summer camp?

"I'm sorry, (Y/n)," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I—I couldn't send you two to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."

"For good?" Percy asks. "But if it's only a summer camp.

Mom turns towards the fire, and I know from her expression that if either of us ask her any more questions, she would start to cry.

I have a weird, vivid dream. It is storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse, and a golden eagle are trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swoops down and slashes the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse rears up and kicks at the eagle's wings. As they fight, the ground rumbles and a monstrous voice chuckles somewhere and beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.

I run towards them, knowing I have to stop them from killing each other, but I am running in slow motion. I know I am too late. I see the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I scream, No!

I wake with a start.

Outside, it really is storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There is no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.

With the next thunderclap, my mom and Percy wake. Mom sits up, eyes wide, and says, "Hurricane."

I know that's crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seems to have forgotten. Over the roar of the wind, I hear a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that makes my hair stand on end.

Percy's POV

Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice - someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.

My mother springs out of bed in her nightgown and throws open the lock.

Grover stands framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he isn't . . . he isn't exactly Grover.

"Searching all night," he gasps. "What were you thinking?"

My mother looks at me in terror - not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.

"Percy," she says, having to shout to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"

I am frozen, looking at Grover. I can't understand what I'm seeing, and I see (Y/n) looking at my friend.

"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" he yells. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"

I am too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly. I am too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover doesn't have pants on - and where his legs should be . . . where his legs should be . . .

Mom looks at me sternly and talks in a tone she'd never used before, and (Y/n) flinches: "Percy. Tell me now!"

I stammer something about the old ladies at the fruit stand and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stares at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.

She grabs her purse, tosses me and (Y/n) our rain jackets, and says, "Get the car. All three of you. Go!"

Grover runs for the Camero - but he isn't running, exactly. He is trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs makes sense to me. I understand how he can run so fast and still limp when he walks.

Because where his feet should be, there are no feet. There are cloven hooves.

Word Count: 3041 words

[obx-snippets]

Round Two || JJ Maybank

Summary: After the beer pong game at the boneyard, Y/N has been reluctant to play another game with JJ. But after she plays another round with him at one of Topper’s parties, the date is inevitable.

Pairing: JJ x reader

a/n: So I decided to make a part two from Newton law of beer pong. You can read it below if you haven't already! But I sort of went overboard! Anyway hope you enjoy it and I would love to hear your feedback! xxx

Newton’s Law of Beer Pong (Pt. 1)

Masterlist

Word count: 6k (SORRY)

Warnings: underage drinking, cussing? Making out but that's about it.

**^ gif credit to the lovely @ptersparkers ^**

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Y/N's eyes are close to spinning out of her head as she exchanges a glance between Sarah and Kiara. The two polar opposite girls are standing before her, spitting out excuses to hold Y/N back from attending Topper's party tonight. Kook parties are usually jampacked with coke and expensive rum, which is generally topped with a beer pong table. And the Pogues wouldn't be the Pogues if they didn't crash a party in Figure Eight.  

Once Kiara was sober enough to hear Y/N story about JJ making a move on her, she objected to the whole idea of meeting him again. She knew all JJ wanted was a quick hit, and he would only break Kiara's lovely friend's heart. Besides, Y/N was too sweet and calm ever to mix herself with JJ, and she simply thought they weren't a match.

Sarah Cameron, on the other hand, though it would be good for Y/N to open up and try something new. Though the kook princess and Kiara were on unfavorable terms, they decided to link mutually to discuss their friend's decision.

Though Y/N was only gawking up at them from where she sat at the edge of her bed, it almost felt right hanging out with the two girls. Sarah is midway through stating her case while Kie is deflecting every one of her points, trying to get her to understand that JJ would only hurt her. "Um, guys?" Y/N chimes in quietly, raising her dainty finger to catch her two friends' attention. Both girls hear her silent plea and quiet themselves to listen to her opinion, seeing as they haven't let her talk since they arrived. "Maybe I shouldn't go to the party. I'm not really feeling it anyway."

Kiara shook her head, frantically, "No, no, it's totally fine if you go. I'm just saying that you avoid the beer pong table at all costs."

Sarah crossed her arms with a pout touching her rose-tinted lips. "Then she won't be able to see JJ," she sassed, rolling her eyes.

"Uh, that's my point." Kira rebooted sarcastically, mimicking Sarah's tone.

"Well, I don't mind playing him again..." Y/N mutters nonchalantly, suddenly finding a loose thread of her comforter quite fascinating. She misses the look of utter betrail from Kie and the giddy, triumphant smile from Sarah.

Kiara rakes her hand through her dark curls, her fingers getting lost in the knots she formed. "He's playing you, babe, " she whines frustratedly, hating that her point wasn't getting across. Of course, she thought JJ deserved the best after all that he's been through, and Y/N could be the perfect candidate, but she knew the blonde surfer's routine. Then again, JJ has never offered another go at beer pong in exchange for a date. Especially against someone who is likely to beat him.

In Sarah's eyes, realization sparks as she stands straighter, taking in her friend's flustered state at the mere mention of the Maybank boy. "Oh my god," she beams with a sparse squeal, making Kiara cringe and slightly flinch away from her. "do you have--like do you like him or something?"

Y/N's mouth fall's agape, her tongue is twisting in itself, not able to find the right words. She is silent for too long before Kiara's lips oddly turn upward into a smirk. "You didn't say you actually liked him." she giggled, "I thought you were just horny for JJ."

Y/N gasped and shoved Kiara somewhat away from her, the girl barely budging, letting giggles surpass her lips. "Oh, she is totally horny for JJ." Sarah nodded. Y/n turned to her with an exasperated look, and she shrugs with a semi-panicked look on her face that was fighting off a smile.

"I'm not horny for anyone!" Y/N whines, falling back on her soft bed, covering her face with one of her cushions.  

"Damn, even I'm horny for JJ sometimes." Kiara snickered before a cushion went flying toward her face. "I'm joking, I'm joking!" she laughed, tossing the pillow back on time when Y/N sits up to catch the cushion and places it on her lap with a huff.

The girl was clearly frustrated, and Sarah softened her teasing smile before kneeling to meet her eyes. "Come on, you can't tell me there's not a small part of you that finds him attractive." she quirked a brow, noticing a tug on the corner of her lips.

"Well yeah, of course, I find him attractive." Y/N shrugs, "You'd have to be mental not to notice him. But saying I like him seems a tad over the top when I've only ever spoken less than a couple words to him.

Kiara placed herself next to Y/N, the bed slightly dipping from her weight. "You don't have to like him." she sighed, the look in her eyes indicating her next words would be regrettable. "You and I both know--actually the whole damn island knows about JJ's body count. He's never settled down, and seeing that you could possibly just be another person on his list bothers me. You're so much more than a quick fuck, and I want JJ to see that. That's why I am allowing you to go through with the beer pong game and go on a date with him."

A snort slipped Y/N's lips, and she tilted her head toward Kiara, raising her brows. "You're allowing me?"

Kiara placed her chipped painted nail upon her friend's lips, quickly shushing her. "Just let me have this moment to feel like I have some authority."

Sarah rolled her eyes, resting her hand upon Y/N thighs before laying her head down to peek up at her friend through her mascaraed eyelashes "Well since you're going on a date, I can't let you go to a party looking like that." she says with a tinge of hope lacing her tone, shaking her head disapprovingly towards her friend's outfit choice. Y/n frowns, looking to Kiara to see her opinion, only to be met with the girl painfully nodding in agreement. She looked down at her outfit, not seeing the problem of always wearing a large t-shirt sported with a tennis skirt. It was comfortable, and she quite honestly didn't see the problem.

Y/N looked up, squinting her eyes in defeat as she watched Sarah's mouth turned up into an ever-growing smile that she could finally dress up her friend who thought fashion was overrated. "I'll agree to the makeover and act like your words didn't hurt just now."

Sarah is quick to her feet and peppers Y/N face with soft kisses while Kiara giggles happily, wrapping her arms around her torso from behind. While their laughs boom around the room, Kiara lies back, pulling Y/N down against her stomach, the girls piled up on top of each other while Sarah continues her kiss attack.

•••

Y/N going to a kook party was a rarity in itself. She was always known to keep count of how much her friends drank, maintaining a perfect tally in her head. Unlike the keggers, the kook parties were more intense. It was usual for teenagers to be enticed with the fanciest alcohol and the finest drugs. But being in the circle of friends that included, Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, sellers steered clear from Y/N.  

While the music was bouncing off the walls of Topper's ample living room, Y/n was squeezed between Kelce and Sarah while they looked head at Rafe and Topper on their second line of coke. After seeing the Cameron boy take another swig of his fourth beer, Y/N rolled her eyes ever so slightly, adding another tally to Rafe's list. He was only allowed five, and she wasn't afraid to slap the cup out of his hand if he dared go for a sixth.

As she eyed the crowd trying to find the familiar face of Kiara Carrera under the flashing lights of red and green, she felt Kelce glancing at her in the most obvious way possible. Before her lips could touch the rip of her red solo cup, she turned her gaze to the boy seated next to her; his mouth slightly gaped open. "You okay?" Y/N asked, an amused smile gracing her lips.

Kelce chuckled bubbly in embarrassment that he had been caught shaking his head before sipping his beer. "Nah, nothing. You just look weird." he shrugged. Sarah's keen ear enabled her to catch up on Kelce's comment and jolted her body forward to stab the boy with a malice glare. The boy having realized the look on y/n face as she looks down at Sarah's wardrobe's choice, he quickly trampled over his words. "Wait, no, I mean that in the nicest way possible. You just don't usually dress like that."

While Sarah snapped at Kelce, Y/N leaned back, letting her back rest while the two began roasting each other over the smallest things that wouldn't hurt them in the slightest. As much as she loved the loose, soft material of her brown shorts that Sarah provided, the white short-sleeved turtle neck was suffocating. Sarah was sure to match everything with simple gold jewelry and leather-strapped sandals that let her feet breathe, unlike her usual tennis shoes. But as soon as her lovely blonde friend asked to curl her hair, that's where she denied. Instead, she let a loose ponytail drape over her shoulder, already feeling soft strands breaking free from the black velvet scrunchie.

Letting her head drop back against the couch, a silent groan vibrated in the back of her throat as she pressed her palms against her eyes, making stars flicker behind her eyelids. She was thankful she settled for a bare face tonight with the exception of a tinted moisturizer and cherry chapstick that was resided in her flimsy pocket.  

A harsh flick to the forehead brought the girl to pull her hands away, her sight blurry as she tried to make out the person whose head was hanging over hers. JJ's blonde hair tickled her chin, and his blue eyes piercing into her's made her face go red. "Round two y/l/n?" he quietly questioned, his mint breathe fanning her face, his gum squeezed between his smug smirk. She smelled the lace of weed on his muscle tee, but it was nothing out of the ordinary considering where they were.  

"Sort of busy," Y/n sighed, pushing his face away with her hand before he could notice her flushed expression over the proximity of his face. But JJ had already seen her cheeks tint and was proud of the effect he had on her without even trying. Sitting up, she twisted in her seat to face him again. His fellow pogues didn't surround him, so she assumed that they had dispersed to dive into the free alcohol. Sarah and Kelce were already maneuvering to the other side of the couch, both infatuated in the conversation like hearing the latest gossip. Unlike Rafe and Topper, Kelce never had a problem with JJ, but he did enjoy the rivalry every so often.

"Busy lounging around?" JJ quirked his brow, leaning his arms on the back of the couch, his veins straining.

"It takes some effort. You know us kooks, lazy as hell." she shrugged, her voice laced with chaste sarcasm. Since having more interaction with him at the boneyard, her reticence toward the blonde felt like a fleeting memory.

As JJ tapped his fingers to ponder her words, his lips pursing, Y/N eyes quickly dropped to his rings, admiring how the luminescent party lights glistened off them every so often. "I think you're an exception. Considering you use at least more brain cells than I do, I'll give you some credit and lay off the kook card for tonight."

Y/n slowly peered over her shoulder to see Sarah already nodding furiously and waving her hands to shoo her away. Kelce narrowed his eyes at the interaction, looking between the two girls to wrap his head around what was going on.

"You comin'?"

Y/n hummed in response, her brows pulling into a deep furrow having muffled out any voices as she faced JJ. Her heart began beating against her ears as she registered what he meant. The beer pong game would mean having to go on a date, but she hadn't fully agreed to the rules. Kie's words lingered in the back of her head like a taunting siren. She didn't know what she felt toward JJ besides fighting the urge to kiss the smirk playing on his lips at the moment, seeing her face begin to flush while deep creases formed on her forehead. She didn't want just to be one of JJ's flings or whatever he liked to call them. Maybe it would be a date and nothing more. It didn't necessarily mean anything would happen. As long as she doesn't let him make a move, everything would be fine.

At least that's what she hoped.

Too deep in her rambling thoughts, Y/n didn't notice JJ lifting his thumb to caress the worry lines on her forehead, smoothing them out until her face softened. He could practically feel the warmth beaming off her skin, which only boosted his ego more. His blue eyes never left hers, and she was squirming under his gaze. The effect he had on her was becoming terrifying for her, and she swatted his hand away, a small scowl etching on her face that JJ found quite adorable regardless of her attempt to be annoyed.

Y/n pushed herself off the couch before spinning on her heel to heave through the crowd of dancing teenagers. She was sure JJ was following not too far behind to meet her at the beer pong table that resided in Topper's backyard. The pool was splashing out water from the riled boy's taking turned jumping in while music was becoming muffled out as she approached John B and Pope, who was setting up the table for the game they knew was about to start. They had picked a grassy area where fairy lights hung above them held by tree branches, and they were sure no kooks would bother them. Kie, who was chatting with a Touron about the environment, was the first to spot her. She was quick to abandon the other girl with a quick goodbye before skipping toward Y/n and tugging her into a tight hug as if they hadn't just seen each other a couple of hours ago.

Y/n quirked a brow once she pulled away, seeing the suggestive grin on Kie's face as she wiggled her shoulder in a little dance. "You're goin' on a date with JJ..." her tease was breaking off into a squeal with every word, making Y/n bite back a smile and shoved her away by her shoulders.

Rolling her eyes, she ignored Kie's giggling as she approached John B, seeing that he was filling the last cup with beer. The brunette stole a glimpse in her direction before focusing back on the work at hand. "Yo, y/l/n. Glad you could make it," he said, lining up the cups, so they were perfectly in place. "ready for round two?" a side smile tugged on the side of his lip as he finally let his focus drift to her.

She wondered if JJ told his friends about the bet he made with her and began absentmindedly tugging on the golden charm bracelet loosely draped around her wrist. "As ready as I can be, I guess." she laughed softly.

"So that's a no?" Pope commented, sipping his kombucha juice, knowing he had to be sober for this game.

"Nope," she popped, already dreading that she had to withstand going on a date only to be bailed a day later.

Pope hummed, nodding in understanding. "Kombucha?" he offered, stretching his cup out toward the girl. JJ would kill him if he admitted that he was the only one that was told, besides Kie, about the bet he made with her. Since JJ was owned by Y/n that night at the boneyard, he had taken a more liking to her and thought his blonde buffoon of a friend could use a companion that actually thought before taking action.

She nodded promptly before making her way around the table to sip the sweet herbaceous beverage. She had never made much of an interaction with the pogues. They were always friendly with her anytime she saw them drifting by on the HMS or when she would pick some food up from the Wreck. She felt like she had one foot in the Cut while the other was, unfortunately, in Figure Eight. She stayed out of the Kook and Pogue nonsense, and both sides respected that, not pestering her anytime she would hang out with either tribe.

"Hey, this is my side," JJ grumbled from beside her as he let the ping pong ball drop on her head before he caught it.

"Both sides are the same, " Y/n pointed out, passing the cup back to Pope, looking down at the back table with red solo cups decorated for the game.

Kie was already behind Y/n to push her by her shoulder to the other side of the table. "Best not to argue with him," she whispered, patting her shoulder once more before giving her space to warm up. Sarah was stumbling out from the house crashing into John B's arm, her face red from the short run. Y/n wasn't sure if the girl was really athletically inclined, and swatting birds with a tennis racket wasn't an exception.

Y/n let out a shaking breath, wringing her hands as she took in the table's appearance. She peeked upward through her lashes to see JJ already fixed on her, casually tossing the ball from either hand. He passed a quick wink in her direction before bouncing the ball and making it into one of her cups with ease. Y/n was suprised with his sharp point and let the warm liquid from the cup he scored flow into her mouth. As soon as she finished her drink, she paused, letting the liquid settle on her mouth before swallowing. She narrowed at the table, slightly tilting her head to see that it was tilted.

She laughed under her breath, realizing why JJ wanted that side of the table. His chances of winning were higher on his percentage, perceiving that since his side was heaving upward due to the small inclination of the hill under them, gravity would assist in his ball landing into her cups without much effort. JJ and Pope exchanged glanced, practically seeing the gears shifting in her brain. Now JJ was never the person to say he was in love, but he was in love with Y/n Y/l/n brain. How it was quick to fix a dilemma or figure something out without so much as a glance. He knew he wouldn't get away with his scheme long enough for her to analyze her next moves.

The wind blew her loose strands in her face, and she didn't bother to fix it, too focused on probing the next move. JJ's eyes were fixated on her, swallowing hard. He knew she was always beautiful, especially when he would see her lounging at the beach with Kie or beating Sarah at golf anytime he would deliver groceries with Pope. He knew she played early in the morning on Saturdays and always made sure to take that route on his way to specific houses. He loved overhearing her and Pope having a philosophical conversation and her effortlessly winning at constant debates. But something about her right now took his breath away. She was in her element, his heart warming at the sight of her rose-tinted lips curving to a smile as she appeared to figure out her game plan.

"I'll hand it to you, you almost had me there." Y/n said, closing one of her eyes to aim for her target. She could hear the sound of Kie's faint whisper commenting a fleet 'I love you' for good luck while Sarah cheers a quick 'whoop.'

"Almost?" JJ questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. Playing dumb was his specialty. If it got Y/n to show off, he didn't care as long as he got to see her mumbling under her breath every time she made a shot.

For the first time, Y/n made real eye contact with JJ, a surge of confidence swimming in the depth of her y/e/c iris'.

"Yeah, almost," she smirked, making JJ wither into a puddle. It suited her too well.

With her fast momentum, she bounced the ball and made it into his cup.

•••

To much of Y/n's dismay, Kiara provided JJ with her phone number after her victory the other night. He hadn't mentioned anything after the game, and she hoped he probably let the date idea slide. But before she stepped out of Topper's house, he wrapped his hand around her wrist and dipped down to graze his lips against her ear.

"Be ready for tomorrow, princess."

The whispered words sat within her dreams all night. She could still feel the warmth of his breath tickling her neck and how it sent goosebumps throughout her whole body. She longed for that sensation again. She wanted to feel his thumb caresses her wrist and the chill of his rings like it had before. She would never confess any of this if she wished to hear the lecture from Kiara about JJ being a fuck boy. She believed his title wholeheartedly, but a part of her really wanted to spend the day with JJ.

Even if he was blasting her phone at five in the morning.

Her dainty hand blindly searched her nightstand in the darkness before feeling her buzzing phone. Her eyes squinted as the bright light from her screen scoured her face to read JJ's caller ID.

"Hello?" she croaked into the speaker as she squeezed the bridge of her nose and let her eyes flutter shut, dousing in the darkness just for a few more seconds, already feeling the onset of a headache.  

"Are you still asleep?" his shout brought her to groan and pull the phone away from her ear.

"Obviously not if I'm talking to you." she snapped gently, hearing JJ chuckle over the line. The sound made her smile despite her fight for sleep, heaving her eyes shut.

"I'm outside, so hurry it up."

"Why so early," she whined, "we could have done something in the afternoon."

"The earlier, the better babe." he cheered. She heard him greet someone in passing with a cheerful good morning, the person probably wondering why a pogue was outside the Lynch residents.

Y/n shook her head but used her voice, realizing he couldn't see her disapproval with the pet name. "Don't call me that." she snipped.

"You don't like it?" he teased. Though she couldn't see his face, she could hear the smirk pulling on his lips.

"No, I don't." she flatly replied.

"Yeah, mhm."

"I'm serious."

"I'm sure you are."

"I hate you."

"Just get up. You won't regret it. Promise." he chuckled. He hung up before she had time to protest, leaving her to stare at her dark ceiling, relishing in the last bit of rest she'll have upon the crazy day ahead of her.

Drinking coffee wasn't needed as an energy boost that morning. She was wide awake; her eyes squeezed shut while she clings to JJ's waist as she sat on the back of his dirtbike. He was speeding down the empty roads of Figure Eight that would soon mesh into the Cut. Her yellow sundress was flowing behind her, along with her hair. JJ smiled at the feeling of her hands squeezing him tighter anytime he would speed up or wobble the bike just to hear her squeal. But as they crossed over a bridge to enter the Cut, he slowed down, feeling her head rest on his back as she took in the lively colors of the morning sky, the sun setting on the horizon of the glowing waters to greet the day. A smile played on her lips, already feeling butterflies in her stomach, thinking about the day ahead.

The morning breeze nipped on Y/n sensitive skin as she stared ahead of her, confusion settling upon her features. With her hands running up her arm to find some warmth, she watched JJ ordering ice cream at a small, quaint ice cream parlor. JJ must have been familiar with one of the young workers there and tried to block out there chatting. She was no doubt one of his girls that he had taken home upon the many others that she had heard of. Her breast was practically jutting out of the buttoned-up blue polo she sported with the icecream logo etched upon her bosom. Y/n let her eyes drop to her own, and quickly pulled up the deep v-line of her dress, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious.

JJ came strutting back; his signature red cap place backward on his head. He held up two cones of strawberry ice cream, shaking them teasingly. Icecream was never an ideal breakfast choice, but when JJ told her strawberry ice cream was the same as having strawberries on your pancakes, she was forced to comply with the gorgeous toothy grin on his face. But she was definitely going for a coffee later.

"This is not gonna settle well with me," Y/n mumbled as she walked alongside JJ down a sidewalk, the beach waves crashing against the shore nearby. She licked the cold "breakfast" and scrunched her nose from the sudden burst of sweetness that was too overwhelming for her taste buds.  

"Strawberries. Strawberry ice cream. Same difference," JJ shrugged nonchalantly, taking a bite from his ice cream, bringing Y/n's eyes to widen in horror. The blonde took notice of her gaze and raised a querying brow. "What?" he questioned around a bite of ice cream.

"Did you just bite your ice cream?" she asked, eyeing the bite mark that was slowly melting from the sun hitting the side of his face. His blue eyes were sparkling as he smirked, admiring his delicious icecream.  

"Yeah, what about it?" he took another slow, painful bite, keeping his eyes on her's the whole time, enjoying how she cringed and shook her head. "I get more servings that way."

"You psycho." she laughed, looking ahead and nipped on the strawberry cream with her lips. The cool breeze that picked up around her was suddenly not a problem even if she was eating icecream. As they strolled down the sidewalk, their hands would occasionally brush each other and brought Y/n to let in a sharp breath. JJ's eyes dipped down to her hand and let his ring clad fingers lazily intertwine with hers. She was surprised by his public affection, even if the gesture was small. She allowed her hand to relax and held his, fending off the smile once she notices some surfer girls walking by, eyeing her with a scowl. The best part was, JJ didn't pay them a second glance as he nonchalantly began swaying their hands playfully, happily biting into his soft-serve strawberry delight.

The blazing North Carolina sun was now blazing down on them from above after the long walk to the beach. They exchanged pointless stories about their separate friend groups, JJ's being more enticing. She wished she could experience a day with the Pogues out on the HMS, but she knew her place. She wasn't even sure what "this" was. Would she end up in his bed tonight? Would he go off to ignoring her, earning himself brownie points that he was able to go on a date with a Kook? In her opinion, it wouldn't be much of a victory. She didn't see herself as the hottest Kook in her area. Some beat her rank and standards by a hundred, and all she did was watch. Too deep in her own draining thoughts, she didn't notice how JJ watched her as she stared at the water, kicking off her sandals to start her challenge of collecting shells without getting wet.

"You're gonna fall in," JJ stated confidently, his hands on his hips as he stood next to Y/n, looking out on the water.

She was currently pulling her hair back, a determined look in her eyes. She was growing more comfortable with JJ and was acting as if it was another day with Kiara. The boy made a small comment that it was impossible to grab the prettiest shells without getting wet, and once a challenge struck, there was no turning back for her. JJ didn't notice himself starring, involuntary smiling watching her mumble to herself, most likely timing the wave's push and pull.

Y/n reached one of her hands out toward JJ, and he handed her the velvet scrunchie she had on the other night. She tied her hair back, slipping it into a low messy bun that was already letting strands fall to her face. "Where's the faith, J?" she teased, backhanding his stomach, which was already hard from his sudden flexing.  

"Lost somewhere with my positivity." he shrugged, eliciting a laugh from Y/n, "the waves are too quick anyway and that hundred dollar dress is going to be ruined by the end of the day."

"It's all about timing." she nodded, rubbing her hands together, hoping her calculations were inorder. " I mean, we only see half of the wave, and it all depends on the wind. A wave increases in size quadratically relative to the wind's speed and reaches its maximum capacity when it's traveling about as fast as the wind. It not that breezy out, so they shouldn't come hurdling in too quickly. Besides, all I'm seeing are Surging waves that don't crash or spill, and they just bulge up before crashing against the shore, giving me enough time to grab at least two shells. Technically speaking, I could only get wet up to my ankles, maybe my knees, if the contact is strong enough..."

JJ didn't even mind that she was absentmindedly rambling on. He swore he fell in love with more than her words at that moment.

He would never pay her a compliment saying how beautiful her mind was but instead watched her contently as she finished her speel. Her face began to redden, seeing how JJ was tilting his head, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for her to finish. "Sorry..." She laughed, tucking loose strands behind her ear before looking ahead again.

"You're gonna fall in," he deadpanned one last time before watching her run toward the water. The tide was pulled back, letting her kneel down and collect a hand full of shell. The water glistened over pink and white shells she had found, smiling to herself that she could finally brag to JJ.

When she looks up to show the boy her pretty shells, JJ was already in front of her, heaving her body over his shoulder. A scream slipped from her lips that soon led to giggles as he began spinning around, water hitting her face. "JJ! Put me down!" she tried hardening her voice, but was only met with a light smack to her bottom. "Hey!" She yelped and began pounding on his back. There were undoubtedly other people on the beach who were staring at them, but JJ didn't have a care in the world.

"Put you down, you say?" JJ suddenly paused; the sarcasm lacing his animated tone brought her face to fall.

"Don't." she snapped, her playful tone disappearing with the fear that she would have to meet the icy water below.  

JJ smirked, feeling her tense under his arms that he tightened around her waist. "Oh my. Well, there just so happens to be a vast body of water to plunge into right here!"

"I will kill you!" she hit his back again but was only met with a giggling response.

The outcome was inevitable. JJ had moved deeper into the water before letting himself and Y/n plunge under the ocean's salty waves, notwithstanding her constant protest. Y/n was the first to resurface, her scrunchie disappearing somewhere in the water, her hair slicked back while water droplets slipped from the tip of her flaring nose. Once JJ's head appeared, his laugh was cut off with the sudden splash of water hitting his face. "Told you, you'de get wet." he snickered, wiping his hand down his face to adjust his eyes from the water attack.

Y/n bobbed in front of him, her scowl turning into a smile that brightened her features. JJ felt every wall tumbling down at the mere sight of her. He just realized she wasn't wearing makeup, and it suited her so well. He wasn't used to spending time with girls besides Kie, but he never felt this pang against his chest with other girls. He liked talking about technicalities and theories, unlike the Tourons, who would only go on and on about an ex-boyfriend. Seeing someone as amazingly smart at Y/n Y/l/n letting loose in his presence was something he could get used to. This whole bet started as a tease, and getting at her was out of the question when it came to asking Kiara's approval. She shut down the idea constantly. But once she let him go through with it, he wanted the day to be perfect. Even if they weren't very familiar with each other, it was a start.

JJ was abruptly submerged underwater as Y/n surged forward and hopped up to push him down by his shoulder. She ends up underwater as well but was picked up by JJ, his arms circling her waist only to plunge her back inside, a loud snort leaving his lips. He pulled her back up, and she slapped his chest repeatedly, coughing up water.

As they calm down, JJ ended up patting her back, helping her calm down from the water that invaded her lungs. He apologized, but she couldn't take it seriously from his grin that hasn't abanded his lips since the start of the date.

"I'm okay now." she breathed quietly, turning her body to face JJ.

"So, how was the first date?" JJ asked her, swaying his arms in the water. Though his tone held playfulness, his eyes were hopeful, making her heart flutter.

She hummed, pondering the thought as she led her focus to the blue sky before meeting his blue eyes again. "Besides almost drowning, close to perfect."

JJ gasped dramatically, placing his hand on his now bare chest. She hadn't even noticed when he pulled it off to tackle her into the water. But she wasn't complaining how the sun danced on his tanned chest. She sunk lower into the water, letting it kiss her chin before raising herself back up. "Close? I did like everything right," he complained.

"You gave me icecream for breakfast." she retorted with a purse touching her wet, salty lips.

"Strawberry ice cream!" he reiterated slowly for her to catch onto his point that it was the same thing as having a fruit bowl in the morning.

"Plus two hundred calories!" she laughed at his pout as he rolled his eyes. "and the 4.2 grams of protein doesn't count."

"Well, we walked on the beach," he tried again but only watched with annoyance as Y/n tilted her head, already reading her expression of disagreement. "that screams romantic moment."

"You threw me into the water." she shot back quickly.

"There is no winning with you." JJ shook his head.

A comfortable silence loomed over them, his cerulean eyes washing over her features. The droplets that settled on her cheek were glowing from the golden sun's reflection. She grew smaller under his hungry gaze, noticing he was moving closer to her until he was towering over her silhouette slightly. She swallowed hard, her eyes flickering to his lips just for a moment as she bit down on her own. "You already know I never lose," she whispered.

"Yeah, I've noticed," he chuckled softly. His hands brushed the sides of her hips, letting his fingertips ghost over the fabric of her sundress that she wished would disappear. She wanted nothing more than to feel his bare hands on her.

The sensation was overwhelming once his hands were slipping under her dress, caressing her thigh to coax her body closer to him. Her chest was flush against his, her eyes fluttered shut, feeling his warm breath fanning against her head. "Well, if I don't calculate everything, I might miss something. I don't like unexpected things." she rambled quietly, trying to pry his eyes off her. One of her fingers fiddle with the shark tooth necklace dangling from his neck while the other was holding onto his bicep.

Keeping an arm secured around her waist, JJ used his finger to lift her chin to finally meet his eyes. She was melting in his grasp as she observed him lick his lips, his nose tapping against her own. "Bet you didn't calculate this," he whispered huskily against her lips.

The space between them was suddenly closed as he tilted her head to place a sweet lingering kiss on her lips. He took his time, not wanting to scare her off. She felt her heart speeding up and almost whined when he pulled back. His smirk quickly reached his lips, watching her mouth slightly part. She was speechless, and she craved more of him.

She slipped both her hands to his face to cradle his cheeks as she pulled him down to meet her lips again, deepening the kiss. It was bold of her, but JJ didn't mind. He smiled into her lips and snaked both arms around her waist to press her against him. They were synchronized, and she would be damned if she even thought this moment would end soon. She tugged on his wet hair ever so slightly, causing him to let out a low moan into her mouth. Feeling the vibration in his chest made her take in a deep breath, and he took the chance to slip his tongue against hers. Everything she was doing was uncharted territory, but experiencing with JJ Maybank was a blessing, and she soon fell in sync with his warm lips.  

Her lips tasted just like JJ imagined. Strawberry ice cream.

@drewsephsmiles @obxlife @illbesafeforyou @rudyypankow @jenniesquared

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The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft

There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.

So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.

The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.

Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.

This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.

Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.

WINNER: Anaheim Ducks

No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.

Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."

A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

WINNER: Minnesota Wild

It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?

Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.

LOSER: James Neal

Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.

WINNER: New York Rangers

Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.

Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).

Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.

Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.

LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday

Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.

LOSER: Florida Panthers

What. Is. This. Team. Doing?

While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.

The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.

WINNER: Dallas Stars

The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.

WINNER: Marc-André Fleury

After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.

He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

LOSERS: Tourists

You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.

An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"

As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.

You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.

Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.

"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."

You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.

"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"

Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.

You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.

It's George McPhee.

You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.

"This is my fault," McPhee wails.

You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."

"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.

"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.

"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.

You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."

You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."

You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.

The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft

There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.

So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.

The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.

Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.

This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.

Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.

WINNER: Anaheim Ducks

No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.

Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."

A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

WINNER: Minnesota Wild

It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?

Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.

LOSER: James Neal

Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.

WINNER: New York Rangers

Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.

Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).

Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.

Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.

LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday

Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.

LOSER: Florida Panthers

What. Is. This. Team. Doing?

While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.

The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.

WINNER: Dallas Stars

The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.

WINNER: Marc-André Fleury

After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.

He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

LOSERS: Tourists

You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.

An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"

As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.

You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.

Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.

"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."

You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.

"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"

Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.

You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.

It's George McPhee.

You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.

"This is my fault," McPhee wails.

You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."

"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.

"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.

"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.

You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."

You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."

You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.

The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[flauntpage]

The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft

There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.

So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.

The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.

Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.

This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.

Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.

WINNER: Anaheim Ducks

No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.

Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."

A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

WINNER: Minnesota Wild

It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?

Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.

LOSER: James Neal

Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.

WINNER: New York Rangers

Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.

Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).

Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.

Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.

LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday

Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.

LOSER: Florida Panthers

What. Is. This. Team. Doing?

While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.

The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.

WINNER: Dallas Stars

The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.

WINNER: Marc-André Fleury

After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.

He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

LOSERS: Tourists

You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.

An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"

As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.

You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.

Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.

"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."

You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.

"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"

Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.

You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.

It's George McPhee.

You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.

"This is my fault," McPhee wails.

You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."

"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.

"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.

"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.

You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."

You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."

You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.

The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv