#if theyve ever tried to open the door but maybe cant? at least not from their end perhaps

[fuzzydreamin]

So, by now we all know that pre-war ghouls were a thing, right?

A really covered up and secretive thing, still in highly experimental phases with varying results, but a thing nontheless. Enough of a thing that I can name off the top of my head two pre-war rich and powerful figures that used ghoulification as their golden ticket to surviving the apocalypse. There are probably more.

So, with that in mind...

Vault-tec has a ghoulish vault boy that shows up when the wearer has radiation sickness. But what if this isn't just a game thing? What if Vault-tec knew about the ghoul experiments -I mean, if anyone would it's them right? So what if they intentionally planned to have a ghoulish vault boy, but for more than just representing rad sickness?

Thus, I posit a vault existing somewhere out in the wasteland filled with pre-war ghouls. People who got shut in and intentionally turned, not unlike Vault 12/Necropolis, but while that one's door stayed open to let the fallout of the bombs do the job, this one was built with the intent being that the door stays shut, much like vault 101. Using some kind of man-built radiation device based on the ghoul experiments to turn the residents once they were sealed inside, and thus keeping a population made up of the exact people who first entered the vault all those years ago.

[cupidssrosses]

i. love. ship. playlists.

so, i know for a FACT that im not the only one that uses songs to picture scenarios with a pairing i really love. like, sometimes im so set on the idea of a ship that i have to rewrite the entire show in my brain, rework it so that they end up together logically. songs are always so good to visualise too. harringrove is the BEST for this, because the show itself uses scenes set to 80s music all the time. 

anywho, this is a really longwided way of saying hey heres my harringrove playlist enjoy :)

this song has always been made for a scene where tension has to slowly build.

so, instead of the scene with billy and neil happening at the end of the season when theres much more world-end-y  things to deal with, it happens earlier. 

the  scene happens, billy goes to find max and ends up finding steve and the kids in that junkyard. 

“am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

(really rushed) “yeah its me dont cream your pants what the FUCK are you doing here hargrove you have to leave right now”

billy won’t shut the fuck up so steve has to cover his mouth and try to push him into the bus. then we hear a demidog, steve gives up on billy and gets ready to fight, quietly hands billy a broken pole or something just in case. 

the song starts from 0:00 right when billy sees the demidog, the camera pans in on his face, just so confused and scared, processing what hes seeing. then he joins the fight, he and steve back to back protecting the kids. this leads to billy being part of the gang, at least in some respects. hes strong as fuck and now they have to fill him in on the circumstances now so hes around more often to help. he wants to protect max, but also be near/protect steve. 

so ! during subsequent fights/situations, billy and steve get a little closer, damn they’re not in love but hey they’re getting more comfortable and theres deeeefinitely some mutal attraction, the energy from those shower and basketball scenes hasn’t gone away. if steves the mother figure billys the dad. 

on the “i need a hero” (BAM) part that leads into the chorus, billy saves steve with some kind of big action you know? RIGHT on the beat i swear i get chills every time i picture it to this song. like he pushes something off of him or pull him out of the way really suddenly after running reaaaallly fast to get to him. right after it cuts to steve looking all suprised and impressed while billy keeps fighting. 

same applies to the part that goes “watched out here i COME” in the second song, except its steve saving billy. 

since two thousand and fucking 17 ive seen this song as billys image of steve. it always sounded like his thoughts about him. 

this is one of the first moments billy realises he might really REALLY like steve. hes not just horny he might actually love this moron. at around 2:07 when all the instrumental goes away and its mainly the drums, thats when it happens. 

hes picking steve up from somewhere. theyve been spending more time together as buddies. he apologised for being a dick, theyve had some more serious conversations. hes taking him to hang out with the kids, maybe he just needed a ride home from school or work. anyway, its golden hour. hes waiting to see him and hes weirdly nervous, more than he ever was waiting to pick up a date with one of the hawkins girls.

and then he sees steve walk out onto the street, or come around the corner.

his heart STOPS. steve just looks so beautiful. the light hitting his hair. he smiles at someone he knows as the walk by. billys just HIT with hoe much he loves this stupid moron and his stupid fucking smile.

steves looking around for the car and looks so. happy. when he sees billy, billy smiles back. its been a while since hes smiled that genuinely. 

billy really really part of gang now. this might be sometime after the final events of season 2 i think?? billys saved them all, had a lot of experiences, hes built up some trust with the group and it feels normal that hes there. hes part of the family, and thats what this songs about. 

it night time, theyre at steves house, all the kids, nancy, jonathen, etc. some are swimming, everyones dancing, things feel a little more okay. 

at around 1:54, (again im a sucker for stripping away most of the instrumental and relying on a few key sounds, including loud drums) billy looks around. he has for one of the first times in a while this sense of FAMILY and ACCEPTANCE and SAFETY.

theres all these shots of everyone having fun, like 2 or 3 cuts, then to steve. just standing there laughing, hairs all wet from the pool, towel around his shoulders. he looks over, catches billys eye, gives him a smile, it feels like he knows what hes thinking, and he feels the same way. 

same night, during the part build up that starts at around 2:53, everyones trying to get billy to dance, hes been smoking on one of the pool chairs, not antisocial just not dancing. not his thing. plus he doesnt want to look like an idiot infront of steve. anyway. 

one of the kids starts it, starts gesturing for him to get up, pointedly singing the lyrics, the rest join in unti theyre all singing and chanting for him to join, all while the song builds and builds. finally steve joins in. maintains eye contact. thats enough for billy. he just keeps his eyes on steve as he stands up. its more like theyre dancing together, less like the kids are there. right at the end of that bridge he just lets go. takes of his jacket and dances around with everyone. he doesnt look stupid either. he looks good. and steve notices 

this is a small one, i dont even have a story to it. all i know is that comparisons between the scene that accompanies this song in top gun and the basket ball scene in st2 have been made, and itd be a super fun, corny scene :)

starts at the very begining. this song has ALWAYS felt so magical and me. i get chills every god damn time i hear the intro. i want their first kiss to be to the intro. 

its after the last fight of season three. someone else was flayed, someone we dont love. obviously billy survives. in FACT, he was along for the ride with robin and steve, all the shenanigens with the russians, billy was tied up and drugged too. BOTH he and robin admit their sexualities. 

billy still sacrafices himself to save the kids from the monster, he says something cute like “see ya round pretty boy” or some corny shit like that before he goes to run and save el, theres a moment when steve knows what hes about to do, theyre staring at eachother and theeeerse the electricity steve knows so much about. theyre really about to kiss, staring at eachothers mouths, but the monster makes a noise and billy knows its now or never, so he runs off. 

steve tries to save him but gets nocked out. he goes unconcious thinking billys going to or is already dead. 

it cuts to the end scene when theyre all in the car park. steves got an icepack to his face, hes obviously been sobbing. 

but he heres a voice. 

(clearly overjoyed and kind of smug) “am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

he looks up. its billy. we get a nice long run-jump-hug. steves in billys arms before he can even finish his sentence:

(nearly crying but SO excited) “yeah its me dont cream your pa-”

NOW. OKAY SO. i love love love they idea of billy steve and robin going home with murray, or at least showing up at his place. maybe billy cant stand the thought of going home, hell maybe neil was the one that got flayed and died idk. anyway.

nancy and jonathen are like, we know a place if people dont want to go home, and they go murrays place. when they show up at the door murray KNOWS. hes like “ffs two more people who have repressed feelings for eachother what am i a therapist. but he lets them in and they have a similar conversation that murray had with nancy and jonathen/joyce and hopper. poking fun at how much they like eachother etc. 

billy and steve have a really intimate talk. not sexaul intimate, just really open. theyre both so tiered, steve thought billy was dead, billy had to say goodbye to steve, who he KNOWS hes in love with by now, thinking he was about to die. they both KNOW how the feel about eachother now, but they havent said it explicitly. just lots of “i really thought id lost you”, “your my best friend”, “i cant believe youd do that for me” etc etc. 

they decide to go to bed, billy walks steve to his room, the one nancy stayed in when she and jonathen got together, theyre standing at the door. just staring at eachother like they were during that fight sequence. the energies back. billy really thinks he might go for it, but decides he doesnt want to ruin things if steve doesnt really feel the same way. he doesnt even know if he likes guys yet. so he just says “night steve” (steve, get it, not harrington, cause theyre close now and he loves him and those defensive barriers are down ahhhh). 

just as he turns to leave, steve does this:

this exact thing. he grabs billys arm, leans down and kisses him. he thought he lost his chance once, he nearly died like a million times in the past 48 hours. he cant stop himself. 

RIGHT HERE is when the intro to jump kicks in. FUck that synth, the rumbling note that runs through the whole thing. time. stops. its perfect. billys wanted this for so long, so has steve but in the grand tradition of fanfiction he didnt know it until he nearly lost billy for good. 

their arms are all over eachother, just as the rest of the instruments come in, at like 0:15, they both smile into the kiss and shut the door behind them, and it cuts away :). 

theyre finally together!!! theyre in the happy, honeymoon stage of realtionship. god theyre just fucking every. chance. they. get. i think this is a new season. it’s a montage of them hooking up all over hawkins. 

in the back of the video store, robin covering for them. in the car, outside school, steves house. someone walks in and billy has to hang out of the window. he makes a noise and steves like “thats probably just a bird or something” and billy MAKES A BIRD NOISE TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. 

when steve helps him back inside he just stares a him with that “youre a moron but your my moron now” face. “~mimics the sound billy made~ really?” and then billy just laughs and goes back to hooking up with him. 

theyre just HAPPY. theyre comfortble, theyre stupid idiots whod die for eachother and horny as fuck allllll the time, like young guys are. i just want a really lighthearted, NOT INNOCENT, but lighthearted tone to a whole montage of them just being happy and stupid together. 

aaaaand we’re bassically at the end of the storyline i have for them based on music. these three i just like the thought of. i want steve do dance super shamelessly in his bedroom in a towel, not in a sexy way dont get me wrong he looks DUmb, and billys at his door window just admiring this stupid idiot dancing around. i cant believe im in love with this man this graceless lanky man i had to choose this one. but ill be damned if i wouldnt give my fucken life for him

and finally trust me go listen to any scorpions song its bassicaly a harrington anthem. it all started with rock you like a hurricain for me, i saw steve look at him, i saw billy and listened to the lyrics and just thought theres no god damned way this man is straight whats the bet hes into steve and then BAM same season hes just so obviously flirting with him constantly i-

anyway okay so

this song, like many other scorpion songs is allll about billy and steve in my opion. go have fun. 

PlayerEntity made this gif not me all credit to them i just wanted to include it cause its my favorite edit of them ever. 

and thats all!!! if youre seeing this and you thought it was cool thanks i had fun. i really just wanted to get this shit out of my brain its been up there since i was a fuckn 14 year old, now im 18 lol. 

i love these men more than myself and sometimes i forget that theyre not acutally together in show cause i live so completely through fanfiction and the sequence of events you just read. 

fuck why am i signing out like you just watched a youtube video or something i should just post this okay by now xxxxx

[shhh-no-ones-home]

speechless chris motionless x reader

+++++++++

wow this is so long, oh well, lol

hes mad cute

song: addicted to love by robert palmer, covered by Florence and the machine

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee

+++++++++

i watched chris nervously step closer to where ryan and i were standing. he had been acting a little weird lately and i couldnt quite figure out why. the last couple times we had talked he was fidgety and tripped over his words, which was weird for him. normally he was very intelligently spoken and moved with such swagger around people. almost like he was trying his hardest to impress everyone.

"hey ryan."

he said quickly. i frowned.

"im here too ya know."

he looked down at me and let out a nervous laugh, one that came out a little too loud.

"right, hi y/n."

i huffed out.

"hi chris. hows it going?"

"uhh..."

i raised a brow.

"ya know what, ive gotta go."

ryan and i exchanged glances as he quickly walked away from us, avoiding everyone's gaze and staring intently at the ground as he moved. i turned back to ryan.

"what the heck was that?"

he just shrugged at me and took another sip of his beer.

"beats me, ive never seen him like this before, even around like girls he likes. surely it couldnt be something like that."

i kicked the rocks under me haphazardly.

"what do you mean?"

he set his empty bottle on the ground.

"well normally when he likes a girl hes all like suave and shit, making jokes, getting her to laugh, small touches, flirty and shit. like theyve been best friends forever."

i raised a brow.

"but hes never acted like this. its almost like hes super nervous about something."

i crossed my arms over my chest and looked in the direction he had walked off in.

"hmm, maybe we'll just have to get to the bottom of this one then."

he laughed at me and nudged my arm.

"yeah, you have fun with that, i dont wanna be lumped into this one. i learned my lesson last time you tried to drag me into one of your crazy ideas."

i looked at him and frowned.

"it was not a crazy idea."

he sent me a look.

"yes it was, we were locked in the dressing room for almost an hour. no one could get us out and we were almost late to our own show."

i let out a nervous laugh.

"okay, youve got me there, i forgot about that one."

he patted my back lightly.

"yeah, ill see you later. try not to get yourself in too much trouble."

i watched as he started walking away from me towards the venue.

"ill try my hardest."

now i needed to come up with a plan. try and figure out why chris was acting all weird and shit. and i needed to do it fast, like before dinner. i walked quickly to the bus and went straight to my bunk. i scrolled through my phone for ideas, trying to brainstorm how to get him to talk to me. hell i was even looking at those stupid snap chat stories about how to tell if someone has a crush on you. nothing was helping though. then ricky walked to the back of the bus.

"rick!"

he jumped and clutched his chest.

"jesus christ y/n cant you give a dude a break every once in a while?"

i laughed a little and jumped down from my bunk.

"absolutely not, but i have a question."

he looked at me annoyed.

"what?"

"do you think chris has been acting weird?"

he raised a brow.

"not around me he hasnt. why did you say something to him?"

"well, no, thats why i was asking. everytime hes been near me for the last like week and a half hes been super nervous and cant talk right. its super weird for him to say the least."

he shrugged.

"i dont know, i havent noticed anything like that, you could go talk to him about it if you really wanna know whats up though."

i stroked my chin and thought.

"i guess youre right, given hell actually talk to me."

i looked up at him.

"thanks rick, ill see you at dinner."

i grabbed my jacket and made my way to the front of the bus and as soon as i was reaching for the door handle to leave it swung open and there was chris.

"oh, sorry y/n."

he stepped back to let me out, i reached for his hand before he could walk onto the bus after me though.

"hey, can i talk to you for a second?"

he looked worried.

"uh, what about?"

i sent him a look.

"just come here."

he hesitated.

"please?"

he sighed.

"okay."

i pulled him to follow me around the other side of the bus.

"chris is something wrong?"

he raised a brow.

"no?"

i crossed my arms over my chest.

"are you sure? cause youve been acting really weird lately."

he let out a nervous laugh.

"so you did notice."

"yes?"

i said hesitantly, dropping my arms.

"look, its nothing, just dont think about it."

i reached for his hand but he tried to pull away. i grabbed it anyways and sent him a look.

"dude, why are you so sweaty?"

he pulled his hand out of mine and shoved it in his pocket.

"look, just leave me alone, its nothing."

he pushed past me.

"chris you can talk to me!"

i called after him but he just kept walking. i stood their defeated for a second before something clicked. if he wasnt gonna talk to me then i was gonna get him to talk to someone else.

---

"dude are you alright?"

i heard aj say from the other side of the cracked door. chris just groaned.

"why does everyone think im not okay?"

"i dont know man, maybe cause youve been acting weird."

"i have not."

i pressed my back firmly against the wall and whispered "yes you have." to myself.

"come on man, somethings gotta be bothering you. is it y/n?"

"why the hell would it be y/n?"

he said defensively. so it was.

"so it is y/n."

aj said mater-of-factly. chris just sighed.

"can you keep a secret?"

i raised a brow, assuming aj just agreed with him but didnt say anything.

"she just does something to me. i didnt think about it before but she did, this thing, like two weeks ago and i cant stop thinking about it. and not to mention the endless flirting. its getting to me. bad. i think im in love."

my eyes went wide. i wish i knew what it was i did that drove him so mad.

"dude she flirts with every one, thats just how she is."

"i know aj but it was different. i see how she flirts with everyone else and it wasnt like that. it was nice, and genuine."

his voice dropped in volume. he seemed smitten.

"she makes me weak man, my hands get all sweaty and i cant think straight when shes around. i dont know what to do about it."

i breathed deeply and put my head in my hands. if only he would just ask me out.

"and what about the thing that she did? that started all of this?"

my head snapped up. god bless you aj for asking the important questions.

"yeah, i dont even really know what it was. it was just her, like actually her. her personality and the way she just moves. it was unlike anything ive ever seen before, like a curtain had just dropped."

fuck. i knew exactly what he was talking about. i had a tendency to make personalities for different people, act how they wanted me to act and cater to their personal needs. but when i was around him it felt like i didnt have to do that anymore. he dropped his facade for me and i kinda did the same back, we had gotten so much closer up until that point and he saw me for who i really was for the first time ever and that was rare.

"maybe you just like talk to her or something."

i laughed a little to myself that you could barely hear.

"how the hell am i gonna do that? i cant even get words out when shes in the same room as me."

i pushed off the wall and started pacing around the hallway.

"well come on then."

i froze and turned around, walking quickly to the door again. i watched it swing open and aj pulled chris out into the hall, the two of us running into each other.

"shit!"

i said as i fell into him and he tried to steady me.

"are you okay?"

aj laughed.

"look, its perfect timing."

i looked up at him as he winked at me and walked back into the room. chris let out a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his neck.

"sorry about that. uh can i talk to you y/n?"

i looked up at him and nodded.

"yeah, sure, whats up?"

he took my hand in his and walked a little further down the hall so we werent near the door anymore.

"you asked me earlier what was wrong and i told you nothing but i lied."

i inhaled deeply.

"okay?"

he held both my hands loosely.

"ive been acting weird because i dont know what to do with myself around you. you drive me crazy in such a good way and i cant think straight. my knees get weak, my hands get clamy, i cant eat, i cant breathe."

i pulled one hand out of his and put my finger to his lips to shush him.

"chris you dont have to do that."

he took my hand away from his face.

"but i do. i love you y/n and its killing me."

i bit my lip and just stared up at him. he squeezed my hands.

"please say something. reject me, gratify me, tell me im not crazy, just say something."

i reached up and grabbed his face, pulling him down to me and kissing him deeply. then i heard cheering from behind me and let him go to see who it was. it was aj. i turned back to chris and we both just laughed.

"that enough words for you?"

i asked as i felt a blush creeping its way up my face. he nodded.

"yes. god yes."

he pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. when we pulled away we just smiled at each other like idiots.

"y/n will you be my girlfriend?"

i smiled at him and nodded.

"id love to."

[godaime-obito]

my fill for @kakaobiweek2019 day 8:time travel. Kushina takes care of things; on ao3 and under the cut!

Kushina isn’t particularly happy about dying. She imagines most people aren’t, but unlike them she’s not going to put up with it. The Shinigami can bite her, she wants back in. Honestly once she woke up she didn’t remember much of being dead, so she can’t really say how she got back to life again, just that she did.

She awakens spooned against Minato. It takes Kushina a long time to convince herself to move. The worst part of being pregnant was not being able to be big spoon properly anymore.

...Is she pregnant? She’s not sure how far back she is. Maybe she just isn’t showing yet? But, maybe, she got lucky and she’s farther back than that. If she gets up and runs through Konoha she might find Rin or even Obito. On second thought, the Shinigami better hope she’ll fin Rin and Obito.

“Pretty boy,” she shouts as she hops out of bed, “I demand an emergency ramen dinner for your team.”

“What? Kushina it’s the morning. It’s too early for dinner,” Minato says bewildered.

“It’s never too early for ramen,” she retorts and throws his usual uniform at him.

Kushina and team Minato arrive at Ichiraku’s as soon as it opens. The kids are exhausted from morning training and Minato is exhausted from delaying Kushina until the stand actually opened.

She decides to sit smack between Obito and Rim instead of her normal spot, but she’s still barely able to contain her enthusiasm at seeing them.

“How’s it going kiddos?” she cheers. Now to keep them from dying somehow.

“I’ve made a lot of progress on my mystic palm efficiency,” Rin volunteers, “Obito’s been working very hard on his kanton and we’re sure Kakashi’s going to be a jounin soon.”

“Wow,” Kushina says with a smirk, “a jounin already Kaka-chan? But you’re still so cute.” He puffs up in response and gets ready to go on one of his little rants, but Kushina can’t hear him over her own laughter. She missed these little rants, after Obito died, no matter how annoying they are.

“Good luck kid,” she says after her laughter dies out, “but don’t get so caught up on your rules that you forget your teammates. When you’re a jounin you’re a leader and you have to consider your subordinates.”

“They’re not my rules, they’re the ninja rules,” Kakashi retorts.

“Look here little punk,” Kushina growls, “I’ve been a jounin years and I think I know a bit more about how the rules work than you. If I hear you’ve been leaving your teammates in the dust I’ll make you regret it.”

“Kushina, darling, I’m sure he’ll give your words plenty of consideration,” Minato reassures her. Trying to diffuse her temper before she gets more worked up. She quiets with a huff and the rest of the meal passes by with the normal sound of Kakashi and Obito bickering, which cheers her up a bit. It feels good to be back.

Kushina tries to believe in Kakashi she really does. But… she knows what a stubborn brat he is. She may take some time off to us to stalk them around on the Kanabi Bridge mission. It isn’t easy to find the time or avoid being seen, but she’s able to help pick off the Iwa nin. Obito makes it home with his two sharingan eyes, and Rin and Kakashi come back intact too. Well, Kakashi still ends up losing his left eye, but you win some you lose some.

Naruto is going to be born soon, which brings her to her second goal: not dying. Things go wildly different. She thought there may be some ripple effect from the things she’s done differently or from Obito surviving, but this is a bit much. She really isn’t sure what she did to cause this. It’s October 10th and instead of the masked man with a sharingan there’s some kind of plant demon with what may be mokuton. They seem like opposite problems, but they must be connected. Thankfully Kushina was ready to be attacked and this fucker isn’t capable of teleportation and phasing the way the masked man was. The kyuubi is still safely sealed in her, and if she could just get it to stop regrowing when either Minato or she kill it they’ll be golden.

Just when she’s worried it might wear them down before they can kill it backup arrives. Mikoto arrives flanked by a few of her clansman. Kushina couldn’t have a better best friend. The literal fire power of their kanton turns out to be just what they need. Either they successfully burn away the plant demon or they at least manage to scare it off. Kushina can’t say what happens immediately after because she just gave birth and then fought a demon, so she very reasonably fell asleep as soon as it was over.

Kakashi and Obito are late to Naruto’s second birthday. Obito’s been rubbing off on Kakashi ever since Kanabi Bridge, when they finally learned to get a long, and it’s not that surprising they’re both late. She’s still annoyed though. She will find both of those brats and drag them here.

It turns out she doesn’t have to look very long, because they’re together. They’re lying on Obito’s couch, while Kakashi is, from what Kushina can see, attempting to discover how far down Obito’s throat he can get his tongue. Fucking Sixteen year olds.

“Boys!” she screams as she climbs through the window. “Stop being horny and celebrate my son’s birth!” she adds, smacking them both over the head, “Ingrates.”

“Kushina-neechan,” Obito stutters out, rapidly turning bright red. “It’s not what it looks like,” he insists.

Kakashi just looks smug. “It is what it looks like, if it looks like I was about to get lucky,” he says, “until you interrupted.”

“Kakashi!” Obito shrieks and reflexively sucker punches him in the gut.

“You can get as lucky as you want after the party,” she says, “Get moving.” She stalks out the front door and Obito pops up from the couch to run after her, grabbing their gifts off the table as he goes. Kakashi follows after them once he regains his breath.

Obito and Kakashi are both late to their commitments the next morning, but Kakashi is big spoon and really doesn’t want to move. Obito is still happily snoring and while they’ve slept in the same bed or on the same futon before it was never like this. Never in this context. He wants to stay a while and just watch Obito’s untroubled sleeping face. The last few years have gone unexpectedly well and strangely he for some reason feels like he owes Kushina. Maybe he should take her with them to get ramen later.

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 6

DC did it first. Take your grievances to them.

Jason and Sheila e-mail back and forth for about a week before she says that she has Thursday off so if he has Thursday off does he want to meet for lunch again?

Last time wasn’t bad. Not a lot of staring or people or anything. He can…he can probably do it again. And it’s a few days away still, so he has time to psyche himself up or, worst case scenario, fake his death and move to Canada.

And it’s been a week and she hasn’t pulled out the Pity Card on him yet and maybe…maybe this’ll all work out okay. She might never be Mom, because Catherine’s always gonna be Mom, but…but she could be Mother, maybe. He can see that in the distant (or not-so-distant?) future.

But he’s not going to rush into things, that’s what got him here in the first place. Patience, grasshopper.

Thursday rolls around and he hasn’t faked his death and moved to Canada, so he has no choice but to put on jeans and a hoodie and resign himself to a couple of hours, easy, of no sunglasses and no e-book shield.

Sorry, any small children who might come out of this traumatized.

Okay. He brings his Kindle anyway, and his sunglasses for the journey, and sticks to his normal Civilian Weaponry-couple’a knives, one pair of brass knuckles tucked into a hidden pocket in his hoodie. Last thing he needs is for someone to pick up a bullet, match it to the Red Hood’s, and come knocking on his door. His luck is bad enough that’s exactly what would happen.

Besides, it’s noon on a Thursday, and even in Gotham that’s a slow hour. Bank robbers gotta eat, too.

The monorail ride there is literal Hell (three fighting couples, two crying kids and old man with no personal spaaaaace!) and he’s literally gasping for air when he stumbles out of the car. He likes people. Honest. If he legitimately hated them all, he wouldn’t risk his life to help them. But interacting with them…he could do without that, mostly.

Whatever. Whatever. It’s over, he lived, he’s had worse.

(And no, he doesn’t hear faint cackling in his head, and that’s final.)

It’s windy today, the type of wind that buffets people every which way and is determined to keep his hood off his head. He fidgets with the drawstrings until it’ll stay and buries his hands in his pockets. Wind sucks. He can feel pollen and dust and Gotham Grime being blown onto his skin.

“Jason!”

Is he there already?

Sheila…looks a lot more haggard than she did before. He tries to remember if she’d mentioned being horribly busy, doesn’t think she did, and figures that to be fair, he hasn’t mentioned the bruise that goes halfway up his back.

She smiles, her awkward driver’s license smile, and waves. Yeah, she doesn’t…it must’ve been a long week, or maybe a rough drive or something. She looks tired.

“Hi.” He’s not sure what to call her, still. Miss Haywood is too disconnected, Sheila’s too personal, and it’s way, way too soon for Mother. Names are a pain. “I’m not late, am I?” He knows he’s not. “Monorail was packed.”

“So was the subway. Can I…?”

Her arms are half-out and he figures she’s asking for a hug. He can do a hug, as long as it’s a short hug.

“Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”

Holy crap, she feels frail. But to be fair, barring Dick’s tackle-hug, everyone’s felt frail since…since. So it could just be him. Hugs are weird now.

(“HUG YOUR DADDY!”)

No. Not today. Everything’s fine.

It’s a sort-of short hug, short enough, anyway, and he wonders, abstractedly, if a day will ever come that he’s used to that sort of thing again. If it even matters whether he does or doesn’t.

It does. Of course it does. And the day will come, in time, and he’ll be better, be normal, be what people want him to be.

Little steps.

* * *

They’ve fallen into a companionable silence and for once Jason’s not jumping whenever someone walks by in a purple sweater or anything when Sheila forces her lips out from between her teeth and says, “I know you were Robin.”

Well. That’s, uh, there’s that out of the way.

“Yeah.” There’s clearly no point in denying it. She probably put it together when Batman came knocking. “For a little while, yeah. I was.” He tastes blood, wonders how long he’s been doing that, and wishes he had gum. Or a mint. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right off, I just…old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Oh God, no, no, I didn’t mean-” She takes a drink. Her hands are shaking, she’s shaking and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. “I just. I thought I should probably make it clear that I did know, so you wouldn’t…I know I was absent, but I don’t want…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide things from me.”

Oh. That’s. He doesn’t know what to say. Bruce, God knows, has the emotional capabilities of a Himalayan Salt Lamp. Thankfully Jason hadn’t been the type to go through crushes every two weeks, or he probably would have been in Hell. He certainly wouldn’t have…it’s not like he would have shut down the conversation, but sharing and caring? That would have been awkward and best not repeated. Alfred was the go-to for that sorta thing.

All right, then. Since they’re dropping sudden bombshells ‘n all…he has to know.

“You worked for Joker.” There. It’s out. He said it.

And now he kinda regrets it-the self-loathing on her face is a pretty good match for his own, and he can’t tell himself it’s anything less than deep, deep wishing to have made better choices.

“I did.” She straightens up, begins tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate. “Briefly. I’m not proud, but he had a line to my mother, knew where she lived, knew her schedule…knew.” She swallows hard. “Knew she had to rubber-band her jam jars because she couldn’t open them otherwise. I panicked. But it was only for a couple of months-pills, he wanted pills, as much as I could get him. And then he just…went away. I don’t know what he did with them.”

Honestly, after everything, he can’t…he doesn’t have the right to say much. And honestly? There was that one guy, who accidentally cut the fucker off in traffic and couldn’t get away from him.

And look at him. The first man he killed, that wasn’t…oh, sure, he probably had it coming, at least a little, but Jason wasn’t thinking about that or considering it like he does now, he just…he wanted to kill Bruce. Because that was right and reason at the time even though he knows it’s insanity now.

No, he can’t say much.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, and it’s suddenly easier to look at his hands. “I didn’t…that sounds awful.”

“No.” She tips his chin up and it’s an effort not to pull away and to remember that it’s fingers, warm human fingers, and not the pointy end of a crowbar against his skin. “You deserved to know. It’s only fair.”

Truth be told, it’s a relief to know that she hadn’t…yeah, technically she could’ve…maybe done something different, but she hadn’t wanted to work for him. She wasn’t like the ones he’d christened Dumb and Dumber that…they enjoyed that kinda work.

Lunch is finished in relative silence after that, though, and he’s wondering what’s going to happen now when she rifles through her purse and swears.

“Damn…I meant to grab an old photo album I wanted to show you, with some old family pictures and things.”

Pictures of Willis? Yeah, he’s good. Pictures of other people might be interesting, though.

“Next time?”

“My apartment’s a few blocks over.”

Something feels off. He’s paranoid, he knows he’s paranoid, but something…she’s been shaky and weird all afternoon and he doesn’t…

Calm the fuck down, you freak out when someone window-shops for too long!

“Is everything…is everything okay?”

Or maybe something is wrong-she pulls a napkin over and there’s suddenly a pen in her hand.

“I really do want you to see these pictures, Jason,” she says, but her hand is moving and there’s the ever-so-faint skrit-skrit of pen on paper. “I swear you got my mother’s eyes.”

The napkin slides over to him and he glances down. Her handwriting’s spikey and awful-doctor writing to the bone-but his is no better and he can read it well enough.

An old colleague has been hanging around the hospital lately.

Oh.

That explains a bit.

“Sure.”

Her shoulders drop and she crumples the napkin, nails picking it into shreds.

“I’m sorry to do this to you,” she says softly, nearly too soft for him to hear, and he’s quick to shake his head.

“No, no, I don’t mind, I’m glad you…if there’s anything I can do to…”

Shit, she looks like she’s going to start crying and that is indeed PANIC in his throat. Tears are not good.

“You’re a good boy.” Her voice is watery but there are no tears to be seen. Thank Jesus. “I promise next time we have lunch it’ll be normal.”

Oh, good, things haven’t plummeted down to fiery Hell because of all the revelations flying around.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he says, and whoops that’s his ‘all will be well, citizen, never fear!’ voice. But it must work, because the about-to-cry look disappears. “Um. Do you wanna…it looks like it’s gonna rain, should we get going?”

And so they do.

* * *

The wind has picked up and it smells like rain. He’s not looking forward to patrol later.

The wind’s not so bad, though, to stop Sheila from lighting up with a self-depreciating, “I know I’m a doctor and should know better, but I honestly don’t care.”

“I can’t really say anything.” He holds up his own pack and rattles it before pulling one out. It’s not as calming as it usually is and he doesn’t know why.

Eh. It’s been a long day, that’s all. He’s not used to interacting with people on a personal level anymore, which is his own fault and probably not necessarily a good thing.

The first few drops have started to fall when they arrive at her building-big, square, and simplistic. She fishes out her keys while they’re in the elevator (which smells like new car, for some reason).

The hallway is deserted. It’s a little creepy, to be honest-his own building might be crap, but there’s always activity. And then, of course, there was Arkham’s hallways, or what he could hear of them. Noisy. Always noisy. But this? Wayne Manor was silent like this. It unsettled him then and it unsettles him now. Call him a city boy, whatever, but he needs noise.

The brass knuckles and knives in his jacket are warm and comforting and he knows he’s not gonna need ‘em, but they make up for this creepy-ass silence.

Sheila opens the door and motions him inside. It’s dark inside-blackout curtains, probably-but he can hear the rain. It smells like new car in here, too, and he wonders, off-handedly, why-

-it’s not empty. He’s walked into one too many ‘empty’ buildings to be very, very attuned to the sound of somebody breathing. Okay. Be calm, back out and shut the door.

He’s about to do exactly that when the light switch clicks and bathes the whole place in stark white. White walls, white floors, white furniture.

Which only makes Harley Quinn stick out like a sore thumb in all that red and black.

“BAY-BEE!” She could never hope to match Joker’s grin, but she gives it a good go, stretching her makeup. Okay. Change of plans. Get Sheila out of here (and preferably out of the building), deal with Quinn. “It’s been a whiiiiile!”

He takes in the mallet leaning against the couch and the shotgun (are those fuzzy dice? Really?) in her hands and comes to the conclusion that great, she’s riding the crazy train.

But maybe she hasn’t seen Sheila yet. Where’s that goddamn light switch?

He moves, only a little, only to feel the unmistakable press of a gun against his lower back.

“Don’t. Move.”

And the world drops out from under him.

No. No, no, no, she said she quit, it was over, she said they’d let her go, she said-

The door shuts. He twists so he can still see Quinn in his peripheral. Sheila’s face is a blank mask-no tears, no joy, no nothing. Just quiet determination and he doesn’t understand, she said…

“Mom?” The word feels thick and wrong in his mouth, but maybe…maybe she’s brainwashed or hypnotized or something, maybe she doesn’t…isn’t…

“Sorry, kid.” The words are harsh but her tone isn’t. Quinn giggles in the background but she sounds so far away and Sheila’s still pressing a gun against him. “It was you or me, and, well…it had to be you.”

What?

“Aww, come to mama, baby!” Quinn giggles again before straightening up and scowling. “Now.”

His feet drag him forward, sneakers scuffing against the white carpet an’ Heaven’s s’posed ta be white, innit, so why does this feel like Hell and what’s going on she said she said-

For once horrible, desperate second, he wants Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t…yeah, he’d thought, at first, that he’d left him but he knows that he didn’t, he really didn’t, he just…

Bruce wouldn’t have pulled a gun on him, he wouldn’t and God, if he’d just fucking talked to him-

“I did what you wanted, Quinn.” Sheila’s voice is so, so flat and is this all she wanted from the beginning? Is it? “Now call your man.”

Quinn doesn’t even look at her. She’s looking at Jason like she always did-like she’s torn between wanting to rip his head off and wanting to wrap him in a blanket and keep him.

This is his own goddamn fault, he just thought…just once, just once-

“Quinn!” Desperation now, and the gun wobbles against his hoodie as she steps out from behind him. “I did what you said! Call your man!”

Okay. Okay.

He forces himself to take a few deep breaths that taste like that last cigarette outside and says, voice as steady as he can make it, “Let her go, Harley. Leave her alone, I’ll. I’ll do what you want, just. Just let her go.”

“Aww, look at you!” Her pigtails sway and he finds himself oddly hypnotized by the movement. “I knew ya had to be Robin for a reason.”

Yeah. Yeah, he was Robin and that’s all he’ll ever be, the one that fucked up.

“Please, Harley.”

“Nyeh…” She adjusts her grip on the gun, finger dancing near the trigger, and looks down at her knuckles. “Eeny, meanie, miny, moe, catch a Batman by the toe. If he hollers, let ‘im go, eeny…meanie…miny…moe!”

He sees it before she does it, but there’s no time-he’s moved maybe half a centimeter before the gun goes off-

-and Sheila.

Falls.

His ears are ringing. They’re ringing and everything’s so white except her, all blonde and blue and so fucking red because Harley didn’t miss and if he’d been quicker, he should have been-

“Aww, don’t be sad!” Harley’s not alone, of course she’s not. He should have known from the start stupidstupidstupid. “Doncha know what happens to people who know too much?”

Her eyes are open. They’re open and they’re looking at him like this is his fault and it is if he hadn’t…

S’like Joker said, once.

“Good boys know how to lay down and DIE.”

“Mistah J had a spot for ya, baby.” Huh? “But you up an’ left us before it was time! So since it’s his birthday-” The fucker has no birthday he just appeared one day too evil for Hell. “-I thought I’d get my puddin’ somethin’-” She winks. “Real nice.”

And they’re on him.

Harley’s goons are dumb, but they’re also big and they manage to drag him down for a minute before he gets a knife out of his sleeve and drives it into the nearest jaw.

“Andre!” Yeah, Andre ain’t comin’ back from that any time soon. “I thought we taught you manners!”

He reclaims his knife and scrambles back up and okay okay maybe he can get outta this-

WHAM!

Lights out.

[neotericbitch]

a sequel to DarqAnon

part the first

It’s quite abusive, there I said it, how you’re allowed to force a ritual onto a child, whether it be reciting an anthem or staring at the sun, before their brain has developed enough to comprehend the significance. In fact, doing so makes it more likely that as the child grows up, they will never truly find meaning in the action! How sad is that? I’d never force anything on my son.

Growing up, staring into the sun was something I never understood. For a long time I didn’t, I couldn’t conceive of the satisfaction or happiness my family derived from it. It meant something to them, so they tried to teach it to me, but it never meant anything to me. I understood that the sun was their god, but because I never truly believed, I couldn’t grasp how or why it would be important to them to stare up at it, burning their eyeballs out of their sockets. Their god was sending a clear message, do not look at me. Why would they do it anyway?

Oh, but - do keep in mind that that’s all in the past. I understand now. I understand perfectly.

Valkyrie Cain has the most brilliant black eyes. Truly, her every feature is marvellous, her sharp nose, her expressive mouth - but I always go back to the eyes. For Crandall, it’s her hands. They’ve shared many times over many meetings, to the point where I find it very annoying, that they want nothing more than to feel her hands on the sides of their head before she crushes it. I think it’s a nice little fantasy to have, just stop telling us about it. I have only ever shared what I wanted two, maybe three times. That’s an acceptable amount of times! Any more is overdoing it, Crandall! Crandall, I know you’re listening. I’ve been able to feel it even when a very good Sensitive is in my head, Crandall, and you are not a very good Sensitive.

Beside me they turn their head away. Why would they want to listen to my thoughts, anyway, when Valkyrie is here? I suppose I understand their hesitance. Darquesse, goodness - Darquesse wouldn’t stand for anyone hearing her thoughts, absolutely not! To attempt it on her would be a high offence. But Crandall, if you’re still listening, I’d say go ahead for the time being. Darquesse isn’t here. Not yet.

Looking at her, it all makes sense. I want to call up my mother and tell her I understand, I understand wanting - needing! - to look at something, even if it does not want you to. The sun may try to blind you. Valkyrie may glare and scream and curse. But you simply cannot look away.

I cannot call up my mother, of course. She has been dead for a hundred years, and I’m busy right now - and I don’t think there’s mobile phone reception here anyway.

For this week’s Thursday meeting, 6 to 7:30, we have made a temporary move from the community hall to the vault, generously donated for DA’s use by Nicki, who we had to murder. Dear girl, she didn’t want to let me hold the meeting here this week. I suggested it at the end of last week’s meeting and everyone was very excited. A hundred meters beneath the spot where Darquesse opened her portal to another dimension and disappeared - we’re so lucky to have this place! Of course everyone wants to come here whenever we have the opportunity! But Nicki said no. Nicki said to me, “Isserley, these meetings have been really great, you are a good organiser and I’m very happy to have met everyone, but I think what you’re planning is wrong. Please return the vault key to me.” So we had to kill her.

And here we are tonight, and I almost wish Nicki were here so I could say, to think you didn’t want this! The meeting is going very well, I think it’s our best one yet. 6:40 and we’re just about to finish setting up, we’re a neat little group of people. We won’t go over time at all! I’d like to say that I, being an incredibly organised person, have been a good influence on my fellow DA-goers.

Salma finishes painting the symbol on the ground. Her designs are ugly, but she has a steady hand and knows how best to use the petrol paste, a very special concoction. No one else could have done this job - though I must admit, I am a bit envious. Easy, Isserley! Remember, your job is the most important. Without you, this wouldn’t work. Without you, Valkyrie would not even be here.

Salma reaches for Valkyrie. She thrashes wildly - and I can’t say I blame her! I wouldn’t want Salma to touch me, either! Haha. But it really won’t do for her to behave this way, we really need her complete cooperation, so I motion to Respite at the wall and he turns the crank, tightening the chains attached to the bound cuffs at her every limb. She is pulled tight, and by the sounds of it it’s not a very comfortable experience, but now she is tense and mostly still - perfect for Salma to draw the symbol on her wrists and stomach.

She puts up a hell of a fight when Respite disconnects the chains from the wall and reconnects them to the floor, at each corner of where the symbol has been painted so she is now seated in the centre. I can’t help but smile! She reminds me of one of those beautiful shrine maidens. If only I’d thought of that earlier. I would have put this off one more week and gotten an outfit made. But the clothes she put on herself this morning are more than lovely. Darquesse will like them. Darquesse will like being back.

Valkyrie keeps straining and trying to get up, the poor dear! I wish I could go over there and pat her face, like I used to pat my son’s when he was resisting me - I wish I could tell her everything will be alright. But I know, even chained and without magic, she could certainly find a way to kill me if I were within reach. And I don’t want her to kill me until the ritual is complete, of course! Otherwise what would be the point?

“I don’t even know,” Valkyrie growls - what a good word for it! Indeed, she is doing her very best to sound deep, dark and scary. Soon it will come naturally. “I don’t even know what you think this will do. It’s not a full moon, or a blood moon, or any kind of moon. It’s not a magical day, it’s not a holiday, it’s not even a day that means anything to me.”

It’s my birthday, but don’t tell anyone that. It’s my special little secret, my gift to myself.

“This sigil is totally made-up. It’s not going to do anything.” She tries to raise her hand to her face to wipe off some sweat, but the chain is too short. “Let me go and I’ll make it quick - because when Skulduggery gets here, he certainly fucking won’t.”

I crouch down to be on her level, and I’m filled with such...reverence. I understand. I understand. This is what I was supposed to feel kneeling in the sweltering heat for hours on end. I’m glad I feel it here instead.

“You will kill us,” I say. “But we’re not going to uncuff you, you’ll do that yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” She is so exasperated and so irritated and so wonderful. “These cuffs are bound. It doesn’t matter how great you think I am, I’m not that strong.”

“You will be! You will be.” In the corner of my vision I see Salma fidgeting. Salma!!! You’re ruining this!! To make her stop, I gesture at her so she can speak and stop annoying everyone with her movements.

“The sigil you’re sitting on,” she fires off in her horrible, grating voice, “and the sigils that are on you are my own designs. Just because you haven’t seen them before doesn’t mean they won’t work. They’ll work.” Her lip trembles and she bows her head. “I’m sorry you don’t...believe in me.”

Valkyrie stares for a moment. “You’re completely nuts.” Nuts! Aah! That’s the word I use to describe her! How exciting!

“They’ll work, I swear. I promise. We only need to activate them, and...” Salma looks to me. Unfortunately, I have to stand up now and go back to looking down on Valkyrie. It’s okay, though. It’s okay. Soon she’ll be looking down on me.

For now, she doesn’t look at me at all. She looks down at where she’s put her arms on her knees, wrists facing out. Perhaps Supreme Mage Sorrows once gave her a lesson on what certain strokes can mean, perhaps she’s trying to work out how to counteract our symbol.

She’s fabulous and smart, yes, but she won’t be able to work it out. I am confident. I snap my fingers, summoning a bright, orange flame into my hand. She lifts her head, looks me directly in the eye, and I smile widely. Very widely. Not widely enough. I hope, before Darquesse kills me, she at least takes the time to appreciate what I’m doing for her. I hope she recognises how much I love her. No - I don’t hope. I know. She will. She must.

I take a step forward and crouch again, reaching my hand out to the edge of the symbol on the ground. My flame will catch onto the petrol paste and spread immediately. Valkyrie will be burned, but only a little bit! Just a little bit. Long enough for the fire to catch the symbols on her skin, and she will be protected - and Darquesse will be summoned back into her. She will be complete again.

Before my flame touches the paste, Valkyrie shoots her hand out and smudges the line, which gives me just about the fright of my life! Thank goodness I have such incredible reflexes, otherwise I wouldn’t have jerked my hand away in time. The paste would have caught on fire and surely burned her to death! She rubs her wrists together, wiping away the symbols written there, then kicks her legs out from under her so she’s in a more traditional butt-to-ground position, but that means she’s made the ground symbol worse and displaced dirt into my face.

It’s hard to love her when she has literally blinded me. That whole thing about the sun and everything, it was more of a metaphor. I still love her of course! I’m only taken aback. Anything I may say as I fall backwards isn’t really my fault, since she’s the one who kicked dirt in my eyes. It's more of my reflexes. I never would say anything of the sort to her under normal circumstances. Never.

“You bitch!”

What an inconvenience. I don’t get to see any of what happens next! I only hear the door flying open and gunshots, the sounds of my people yelling and trying to fight. Punches, kicks, bodies falling to the ground. When I hear Salma scream and feel her blood land on my face, I can’t help it! I can’t help it but think, serves you right for putting a cent in the collection tray every week!

“Skulduggery, the-”

“Valkyrie. Are you alright?” Is that him getting on his knees? Maybe he understands after all. “Are you hurt?”

“My skin’s burning, let me loose so I can get this shit off me. The crank on the wall, I think that controls the cuffs.”

I roll onto my side and wipe the dirt from my eyes. I hear Pleasant at the wall, turning the crank back and hitting the release. It’s terribly uncomfortable, but I can open my eyes and see well enough - and what I see is Crandall dead next to me! It’s such a shock, my heart skips at least three beats. That rotten Pleasant. What a barbarian. I lift my head as carefully as I can, so I won’t be noticed. Valkyrie has lifted her shirt to get the symbol off her stomach and cannot see me.

This is so unfair. I put so much work into this plan. It was so hard to trap her! I was going to bring Darquesse back. Me. Not Crandall, not Salma. Not Nicki. Her black eyes would have bored into my skull and killed me and I would have been good and happy. Huh! Maybe I'm not too different to those Faceless worshippers who go blowing themselves up in public places.

“Isserley. I thought that was you.” Pleasant. Pleasant is talking to me. “How have you been?”

Valkyrie snaps her head up at him. “You know her?”

“We’ve seen her in the High Sanctuary.”

“Jesus. Is there anyone you don’t remember.”

“No.” He reaches out and wipes the rest of the symbol off her stomach in one motion. I have dirt in my eyes but I see how her tummy kind of curls in a bit as she drops her shirt down.

That should be me. That should be me. I love her more than anyone. I burst into tears.

“She tried to set me on fire.”

“I think a list of people who haven’t tried to set you on fire would be shorter than a list of those who have.” I hear the clink of handcuffs. “Come on, now, Isserley.”

I let my head drop back onto the ground and stare up at the ceiling. I do not take one more look at Valkyrie. I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. I failed. “Why don’t you just kill me.” I’m not even aware of myself saying it, to be honest! Just one of those things that...slips out...

“She makes a good point, Skulduggery.”

“Can’t be done. We should leave at least one cultist alive to arrest, so why not take the woman in charge?”

“How do you know she’s the one in charge?”

His terrible skull fills my vision as he looks down at me. You know, hearing him talk this much at one time has jogged my memory. And he does happen to wear very beautiful suits. My mouth falls open. “You’re-”

Valkyrie was startled for a moment by the sudden gunshot. Shoulders tensed, she looked over to Skulduggery standing over the woman, gun still pointed into a face that didn’t really exist anymore.

“What made you change your mind?” she asked as he put the revolver away. Skulduggery came over to her and brushed some hair out of her face, went back to fussing over the injuries she sustained on her way here.

“Too talkative,” he said, and she laughed and teased him about being a hypocrite.

[isaacathom]

ok ive decided stuff about the admins

theres 4 of them. theres YT, a Doctor guy, the Ceo, and a small fry who is the ‘fodder’ admin. think like..... proton??? the green guy from team rocket in gen 2/4. that guy.

cause i think that gives a good spread. cause in ‘marketing’, youd only know about the doctor and the small fry. you know YT exists, and you might assume theyre part of team whatsit, but its unconfirmed. you dont know the CEO exists at all. and in terms of team admins, two seems fair, not super unnatural. no worries.

it also gives a good spread of how these admins feel about what theyre doing and what they specifically support. YT, she hates this, but she supports the ‘goal’ of defaming the gym leaders/e4/champ. hence, she heads up that division. its not a separate goal, but any time the team wants to fuck with their reputation, YT is the one they call.

the Doc is for public safety. why is he part of a gang? thats my real problem with him but im gonna work on that later. but hes in to keep the people safe and sees the rest as a means to that end, an unfortunate stepping stone on the way to like, security n shit. hes a bit oblivious to just hoooowwww bad the leader is

the CEO is all about control. control freak. its why they were placed as the ceo of the facade company, they run shit, fastidious, they want the world just so. they dont care about the e4 or about public safety, but think that if dealing with those will lead to their perfect lil sphere of influence, theyll make pretend.

the small fry is basically just leader lite. they totally idolise the leader of team whatsit, and as such they just PARROT it. they emulate the leader in every way, minus tact and like, general competence. so theyre just like, cult like, its kinda fucked if you think about it. the reason theyre an admin is basically just as a fall guy.

the idea here is that soon, soooooon, team whatsit’s facade company is gonna do a MASSIVE raid on a team whatsit warehouse, and they will capture small fry. hand them over to the police. because small fry is actually an admin, they can act convincingly to the police, but because the other admins arent actually divulging secrets to small fry, they are at noo risk of being uncovered through this. as a result of this, to ensure small fry doesnt know too much, theyve only heard fake names of the other admins, fake locations and shit about them, and theyve ONLY met the leader face to face. their news comes to them through letters exclusively. they dont know anything more than they should.

and itd be fun because when YOU meet small fry, which is before the Big Raid, they tell you all this super innacurate information. like, you already know who the Doc is (because he does have a name i just havent made it up yet), but this small fry tells you a completely incorrect name. like everything he says in incorrect. and youre like, what the fuck is happening??? why is this admin so out of loop?

and the thing is, its pretty fucked up, because if the small fry realises that theyve been tricked, that the leader betrayed them and is getting them genuinely sent to jail (because to break them out would be to put the whole peace facade at risk), they cant actually tattle. because they dont know ANYTHING. theyre fucked, basically. the only way that admin gets off is if the leader admits everything, or if you (the player) found something that proved their ‘innocence’ and lack of evil intent. you probably wouldnt, though. cause the idea is, this admin is REALLY small fry. you encounter them maybe twice, once separately in a small town where they attempt to orchestrate smth, like a rbbery of a family business, something petty. and then once during the raid, which you take part in, i think. cause you ran errands for the CEO, and they call on you for another favour because youre oh so talented, to help them raid the warehouse and capture small fry. and you do! you get to small fry and theyre captured. CEO congratulates you with a nice sum of money, and tells you that if you ever wants a job with the company when youre older, that the door is always open. thats the laaaast time you see small fry (they might be mentioned on tv occasionally thereafter because of the story trigger), and its the last time you mandatorily see the CEO before theyre revealed to be Big Ol Bad.

idk. i think its fun? like it sucks for small fry because i imagine theyre young, possibly a similar age to YT (who is, AT MOST, 25, and much more likely to be around 20 years old), or a lil younger, say 18. naive, enamoured. poor kid.

i think small fry is the only admin you cant actually rescue, unless theyres a post game story (side story, because in my Dream of Dreams theres like 5 post game subplots because fuck you god i live my life) in which you visit them in the police center and help em clear their name. dunno how THAT’d manifest. maybe its part of a YT story. like, post game, you do a bunch of YT missions to help the tie up loose ends. free small fry. help the doctor. punch the ceo in the face. that sort of thing. i mean thats incredibly vague.

i mean, you cant rescue the CEO or the Leader either. the doctor is probably fine. YT is either captured voluntarily or disappears into the ether only to reappear to roundhouse kick elito and leave again. possibly a combob. idk. thatd be an interesting idea for post game. or, ooh, something to do with the gym leaders. helping them sorta rebuild the city, that sorta shit. cause like, the city (Melbourne, fuckeeeeerrrrssss) got straight up fucked. not as bad as like, opelucid that one time, though that was also JUST some ice and it maybe caused some minor flooding. this shit was like rage on the streets, or something. lot of damage. bunch of broken windows. worker and police npcs everywhere. yknow.

and you help them fix that up, maybe while hunting down the CEO, perhaps, or the leader if they made a getaway. im thinking the CEO, because if the leader got away itd be a kind of cop out (see at least with ghetsis he broke out BETWEEN games. thats a difference), but the CEO being out in the wild isnt hyper unusual.

idk. thats some far future shit.

as far as encounters with the admins goes???? or with the team in general. so first you meet grunts, and then you meet small fry (1). meet more grunts, and perhaps thats how you meet CEO (-1), through being witnessed. idk. whoo. then you meet more grunts, and then im thinking you meet Doc (1). then you meet CEO (0) again, after you run the errand, and then you go off to the next town without incident before the raid, where you ruin small frys (2) life. then im thinking you keep going and thats when you meet YT (1) as an admin for the first time, when you decide to keep dishing out vigilante justice and go after them in another place. after you, you encounter CEO (1) as admin as well. this is JUST before chaos city shit, in which you will fight CEO (2) DOC (2) and YT (2) again. its also where youll meet leader (1). and im thinking you might fight them twice. the first time solo, and the second time after the summoning of the legendaries, in which its a double fight with leader (2) and CEO/YT (3?), depending. then you win, congrats. you only fight doc twice. after you beat him in the city he exits the building to go help people on the street, and he is not present at the whatsit climax.

not sure if the double battle is with YT or CEO. might depend on in what order you fight them in the city. you do see YT before you get to the building, as YT is in the pokemon center and tells you to leave for your own safety. also with the double battle, not sure if you and your friend have the legendarie or they do. both make sense. i like both. also why is your friend there? mans powerful.

problem with that rundown is it DOES possibly remove the whole ‘elito fucking flees’ scenario but that could easily be slotted into the skyscraper thing and serve to remove YT from the climax of it, thus leaving the double battle as Leader/CEO. Besides, youve fought YT BEFORE that as well. theres the optional fight that lets you skip doing like the 3rd gym until way later, and theres a fight i think befor and after that one. one really early, not when she first meets you in like the first town that isnt your home, maybe the one after that. and then theres another in between like. the doc fight and the small fry battle. maybe yt tries to prevent you from joining the raid (UNDERSTANDABLY given what happened to her). thatd be fun. and thatd be the last time you see her before the admin reveal. yea, thatd work ok.

ofc the problem is pacing. aside from the fact that Fuck Me I cant Pace Worth a Shit, the towns need to be placed good. the last thing i want is a repeat of west kalos which was the MOST BORING THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. god fuck west kalos. west kalos is ass. cause you beat viola, right, and then you go to lumiose, go to the useless town, go to the manor up the road, go to another useless town, go to a cave, THEN you get to the next town and fight grant and its like what the fuck was that about. god that shit was stupid. you didnt even get to fight an admin at the end of that cave shit. god that was dumb. god fuck west kalos.

but yea. you dont wanna repeat it. and one way we do that is by not arbitrarily shutting off half of a fucking city. mostly because pokeMelbourne would be more uh, city on melemele than Lumiose Cuck Fuck. Hold on, i need to do a quick comparison in sizes, hold up.

well. melbourne certainly is bigger than paris. but i think, oooh, OOOOOOHHHH, ooooooooh no ive got an idea. cause like, /i/ live in the city of melbourne right, despite being a solid hour from the cbd, im like half way from the city to the east beaches. (ok more like a third but bare with me)

so. you could have a biiiig sprawling city that is actually divided into 3 ‘places’. like, its a big urban sprawl. and youve got the cbd, which is ‘the city proper’, which is where the chaos takes place. and then there are two outer suburbs of the city!!!! which means you could have multiple gyms within the same ‘city’, because the city by square kms is Fucking Giganto like, guys, Paris is like 100sq kms and melbourne is 9900sq kms, get the Fuck out of here, oh my god. shit, even new york (castelia) is like, 800sq kms. buddy. buddy we’re in. oh buddy that sounds so cool. cause then it means, ooh, if we /wanted/ to do something akin to skipping the gym in lumiose the first time, it wouldnt be an issue, because there are still two other gyms. you dont feel like its a useless detour. like oh no, a power outage, cant even walk the fucking streets, wow. not like backup generators exist.

but like, youd have home town, then next town with the first gym (and your first YT encounter, sans fight because she doesnt fight you), THEN you enter the city outskirts and its a second gym, then the city proper and you skip that gym because thats like the 5th gym, then you head out the western outskirts and fight the 3rd gym. something like that! and the connecting routes would be city streets slowly getting more and more urban the closer you get to the city proper. ooooooOOOOOOHHH yea i like that, i like that a lot.

see this is fun. i love this

[shhh-no-ones-home]

religious disbelief josh balz x reader

+++++++++ The end is a little darker than I meant it to be 😬

this is my first time ever writing for balz so if it sucks im sorry. also its broken into parts, the beginning is the beginning of the school year and the other two parts are after graduation.

im making a balz one with a similar concept and completely different outcome so if this one was bad or hard to read that one will be much more light hearted I promise.

Song: the reaper by as it is

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @cynic-spirit +++++++++

i walked down the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder with my best friend. josh and i had known each other for what felt like forever, only recently had it turned into something more than a friendship though. i laughed at what he had said to me.

"i told you once, ill tell you a thousand times. the day i decide to get on that two wheeled death machine is the day i decided you can take me away from this town."

i hated his motorcycle just as much as i hated the thought of moving away. i was kind of scared of both to be honest. everything i knew was here, especially him and i didnt want that to change. he nudged my arm with his.

"im telling you, youd be perfectly safe riding with me. but if your stakes are getting you out of this town i will gladly find every excuse."

i shook my head at him.

"you know i dont want to leave."

he sent me a look.

"come on y/n you cant really want to stay here all your life do you? i mean, whats holding you back, your parents? me? hell ill be gone in a year anyways."

i frowned at him.

"and you would just leave without me? given that we're still together at that point that is."

he looked a little offended.

"you planning on leaving me by graduation in the spring?"

i laughed with him.

"of course not silly, im just thinking ahead. if you leave, what am i gonna do? we all know itll take an act of god to get me outta here. even if i did decide to leave on my own my parents would never let me."

he smirked at me.

"true about the parents, but maybe we need an act from something a little darker than God."

he winked at me and i shook my head at him as we walked up the stairs to my house.

"yeah keep saying that and you wont be able to come over anymore. ever since my parents found out you listen to metal music theyve added you to the prayer list at our church."

we both laughed a little at that. he took my hand in his.

"oh come on, when are you gonna stop going? we both know you hate organized religion, and you listen to metal too."

i giggled a little bit.

"just imagine if my parents knew about my tattoo."

i said quietly. he hugged me to him and kissed me gently.

"i think theyd burn it off you, your dad would at least."

he smiled down at me, pushing my hair away from my face as the wind blew it around. i raised my brows.

"wouldnt that be something."

he kissed me again. then there was a knock on the living room window that made me jump. i turned around to see me mom knelt on the couch watching us. josh waved at her condescendingly, making me laugh.

"dont provoke her."

i turned back to him and he kissed my forehead.

"ill see you later. we've gotta work on that science project after all."

he winked at me as he turned and walked down the steps to my house. when he was almost to the sidewalk he turned around and walked backwards, waving goodbye to me.

"i love you."

he called to me and i smiled widely at him.

"i love you too!"

i watched him for a second before opening my front door and greeting my mom with a smile.

"how was work?"

i asked as i made my way to the stairs.

"work was fine, just tired, i wanted to wait for you to get home before i went to bed though. its nice being able to see you everyday now, not just on weekends."

i held onto the stair rail as i turned to her.

"well im glad i get to see you everyday now too, even if it is just for a little bit. ill probably start dinner about five thirty before dad gets home."

she nodded.

"okay sweetie."

°°°°°°°°°

i stood in front of my mirror and nervously shook my hands out. graduation was finally over and we had gone back to the house for me to change before the school led lock-in for the graduates. i wasnt nervous about the lock-in though, i was worried about my parents realizing that josh would be there too. they barely liked him at the beginning of the school year and as much time as we spent together since my parents were getting more and more infuriated with him. it also didnt help that he liked to take them to the edge on almost everything, arguing and getting on their nerves as much as he possibly could. i was shaken from my thoughts when my mom knocked on my bedroom door.

"you ready baby? you dont wanna be late."

i nodded and picked my bag up off the floor.

"yep, we can go."

i looked in my bag one last time to make sure i had everything, phone, playing cards, medication, water bottle, the likeness. when we hit the bottom of the stairs my dad looked up at me over the newspaper he was reading in the low light of our living room.

"where did you get that shirt?"

he asked and i looked down at it. shit. i had gotten it from josh.

"uh, a friend."

he raised a brow at me.

"have i met this friend? surely not i suppose if they are giving you clothing with satanic symbols on it."

he looked over at my mom who was now wearing a frown too.

"do you have time to change?"

he asked and i looked down at the time on my phone.

"no daddy, im already late."

i said in my best pouty voice. normally that worked, he couldnt resist the charms of his little girl. i watched him fold the newspaper up and set it on the couch next to him.

"fine but when we pick you up in the morning its going in the trash."

i walked to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"okay daddy."

i followed my mom to the door and out to the car. when we were buckled in she took off towards school. i looked down at my phone and opened a message to josh.

"what are you wearing?"

i hit send, a second later he texted me back.

"am i supposed to say nothing?"

i tried to suppress a laugh and just shook my head.

"no dork, im wearing one of your shirts and i need to change into something less 'metal'"

i hit send again and waited. then i got a new message.

"sorry babe, i dont think thats gonna happen."

then i got the picture of him in another shirt with the same band on it. i breathed deeply and sent him back an 'okay.' when i looked up we were already pulling into the schools parking lot.

"when are we supposed to be getting you again?"

my mom asked as i stood out of the car. i leaned down and looked at her.

"uh dont worry about it mom, its super early so im just gonna have someone else bring me home."

i looked across the car, through her window at joshs motorcycle. damn him. i turned my attention back to her.

"okay baby, well ill see you tomorrow then."

"thanks mom."

i said, closing the door and walking into the school. as i walked up to the table to get my bag checked i noticed josh standing in the back next to one of the vending machines. A second later my phone buzzed. it was a text from him asking where i was. i smiled to myself, thanking the counselor for giving my bag back and walked quickly to him.

"im right here."

i said making him jump and clutch at his chest.

"jesus y/n you scared the shit out of me!"

i laughed and took his hand in mine, kissing his cheek.

"i think thats a small price to pay for bringing your motorcycle."

he blushed and gave me his best sorry face.

"i forgot?"

he said trying to play it off. i just shook my head at him.

"its whatever, ill grill you tomorrow when we leave."

he smiled at me.

"okay."

i squeezed his hand in mine.

"come on, i wanna see what all they had planned, i heard there was supposed to be a magician."

he laughed as me as i dragged him down the hall towards the gym.

"sure babe."

°°°°°°°°°

i held onto josh tightly as he pulled up in front of my house. i knew my parents would probably be awake already, dad at least getting ready for work. the sound of the motorcycle wouldnt be any help though. i stood up off of it and took my helmet off, swinging my hair out. josh took his off too.

"you want me to wait a minute before leaving?"

i looked back at my house, the sun barely peaking over our fence, it was still so early. I looked back at him.

"i was gonna say no, but maybe."

he nodded.

"text me when its safe to leave."

he winked at me and i kissed him gently.

"thanks for bringing me home."

i pushed my helmet into his hands and walked up to my front door, pushing it open. i was surprised it wasnt locked. i looked around for a second, seeing no one and ascending the stairs. when i moved to go to my room i heard my parents door creak.

"shirt."

my dad demanded. i turned to look at him and sent him a nervous smile.

"daddy can i at least change first? i just walked in the door."

he looked kinda mad. i knew i shouldnt have let josh bring me home on the bike. he held his hand out.

"shirt."

i frowned at him.

"okay just give me a second."

i stepped into my room and went to close the door but he pushed it back open.

"give me that damn shirt before i have to rip it off of you."

"cant i change by myself?"

he went to grab for it but i pushed him away.

"you got it from that no good josh kid didnt you? thats the friend. You know how we feel about him."

he said sternly.

"daddy hes my boyfriend."

he tried to grab at me again, holding the shirt firmly by the collar.

"i told you to stop seeing him. hes no good for you, especially if hes pushing you further and further away from god."

he moved his other hand up to tear the shirt but i held his hands in place.

"what is so wrong with that?!"

i shouted, eyes closing tightly. he paused for a second and i only opened my eyes back up when he let me go.

"how dare you say that in this house! if you are going to live under my roof you are going to love and respect the lord that built it."

"the lord didnt build shit! and maybe i dont wanna stay in this house anymore!"

he was fuming now.

"fine! you wanna go to hell? then you can fuck your boyfriend right to the gates of it, tell the devil kiss my ass while youre at it!"

he shouted at me, turning on his heel and storming out of my room. i breathed heavily for a second before looking outside. josh was still sat on his motorcycle out front, looking between his phone and the house. then i got an idea. i grabbed a bag from under my bed and started shoving shit in it, anything i could find. my favorite shirts, socks, undergarments, pants, money, anything id need. when it was full i slung it over my head, shoved my phone charger into my purse/bag that i still had on from the lock-in and stormed out of my room too. when i hit the end of the stairs i was met with my father sat on the couch, angrily putting on his work boots.

"where do you think youre going?"

he said a little snarky. i gripped my bag tightly.

"if you dont want a non believer living under your roof then ill find somewhere else to live."

i walked quickly to the door and just as i opened it he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me back.

"or maybe you just need an attitude adjustment."

he pulled me back and i reached out.

"let go of me!"

i practically yelled. i could hear him breathing heavily.

"you will learn to love and respect the lord as well as the family he has put before us. if you wont do it willingly, then ill make you."

"is that really a good idea?"

i heard josh say and i looked over at him standing in the doorway. my dad pushed me away from him.

"look at what youve done! youve corrupted my little girl! she's a satanist because of you!"

i ran to josh and he held me tightly to his side, he looked down at me as tears fell from my eyes.

"sir, in all due respect she has never once praised the devil. i would know, im the only one she hangs out with when shes not at home."

my dad looked beyond mad.

"if anything id say you pushing the lord down her throat her whole life has made her denounce your religion. so maybe you should be looking at yourself, not me."

my dad started after us and i pushed josh out the door, slamming it behind me. it swung open as we ran down the sidewalk to joshs bike.

"get back here you little shit!"

Josh jumped on first, starting it up and handing me my helmet.

"drive!"

i shouted as my dad got closer. next thing i new we were booking it down the street. i just held myself tightly to josh, resting my head on his back as tears fell heavily from my eyes. when we were a few streets over he stopped. i sat up and took my helmet off.

"you okay?"

he asked, holding his own helmet against him and looked at me very concerned. i sniffled and wiped my face.

"i am now. but i wanna get as far away from here as possible."

he looked between my eyes.

"are you sure?"

i nodded quickly.

"please josh, just take me somewhere safe. somewhere i dont have to deal with this anymore. wherever its just me and you."

he kissed me gently, pulling away and resting his forehead against mine.

"ill take you wherever you wanna go."

i pulled away and nodded at him.

"I love you josh."

I leaned forward and hugged him to me, feeling him kiss the top of my head.

"I promise I'll keep you safe."