#if you asked my headmates what positives i bring to our system. they would give you so many cheesy answers

[schadenfreudich]

My existence is a trauma response and I think that shows

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi! so i recently learned that im plural, and that this is something that other people actually experience lol do you have any advice for making the traumatized people in my system feel safer internally when you cant just. ask them? i (we?) want to take steps to feel more comfortable opening up in therapy, but a lot of the guys in my brain who Need to do that don't feel safe enough to actually "sit in the drivers seat" and i don't have the greatest communication with most of the people in my brain, so i cant just ask them and see what they like

Hi! We’re actually in a really similar situation… we’ve also been struggling to bring our traumatized parts to therapy!

Kip (hey) actually wrote a post asking for advice not too long ago - you can view it here and check out advice we received from other systems! Heads up, it’s a syscourse blog, but the post in question isn’t syscourse related at all.

Here’s some things that we’ve tried or are planning on trying to help our younger, hurting parts feel safe enough to come to therapy.

- Comfort Item

We’ll be bringing along a plushie we got specifically for our child parts. Your comfort item can be anything that you think will be calming or soothing for the headmates in question! You don’t have to get in touch with them directly, but make sure to state often that the item is for these traumatized headmates. It’s their special item to use as they see fit!

- Talk to your Therapist

If you have a trauma history, or know these headmates are struggling to cope with trauma, trying to get them to come to therapy would be a great move! Perhaps spend a few sessions beforehand talking to your therapist about what you do know about your system, and your concerns with helping your headmates feel safe. Your therapist may have ideas for what you can do to help your headmates feel secure enough to attend a session!

- Self Compassion and Gentle Inner Talk

Treating yourself and the headmates you CAN get in touch with with kindness and respect may help these traumatized headmates feel safer and more at ease in your system. This may mean refusing to critique yourself too harshly, choosing to practice self care, and refraining from calling yourself names or holding yourself to unrealistic expectations. Even if you can’t communicate with your other headmates, showing yourself compassion can improve the vibe in your mind which can totally have positive effects on your whole system!

- Grounding

Even if you’re not distressed and these headmates aren’t interfering with your daily life, making grounding a part of your daily routine could make it easier to accomplish when you really need it. It can be difficult to remember to ground yourself when you’re dissociated or in a crisis! So grounding yourself regularly may help your whole system feel safer.

Here is a link with a few grounding techniques (link to healthline article). Feel free to try these out and find a grounding technique that works for your system!

- Build an Inner World

Inner worlds, or headspaces, are visualizations of a safe place for your system that exists in your mind. While they are fantasies created by your imagination, they can be excellent spaces for healing, comfort, and security. We’re going to link the Safe Place Guide by DIS-SOS, a wonderful blog focusing on DID and trauma recovery. It has some steps and prompts so you can start building a headspace right away!

Hopefully something here will help you help your headmates feel safer with you, with your therapist, and in general! Don’t be too discouraged if you don’t see results or hear from your headmates right away. It may take some time and effort for them to feel safe enough to come around! Don’t give up, be kind and patient to yourself, and trust that the things you do CAN have an impact and change your system! It may take some time, but we believe in you!

Best of luck with everything!

🌸 Margo and 🐢 Kip

[cyraspace01]

Debunking Certain Myths About Plurality

Edit: We'd like to thank @altercourses for correcting some of our misinformation and providing sources, and since then have corrected some things, we are very sorry for the misinformation.

1. Every system has a headspace/innerworld

Nope! Actually, it's quite normal not to. When you find a professional who specializes in helping patients with DID & OSDD function, they actually have practices for creating or finding your headspace. This can be done with a professional, or by yourself with caution. And also, headspaces and innerworlds aren't special to those who are plural, anyone can have one. It's just more common for us so our headmates have places they can go when they aren't fronting.

2. Every system is medically recognized as overt or covert

Yes...But no. Overt and covert labels can be very harmful actually, and aren't use by professionals, they were mostly picked up by the community. That isn't to say they are wrong or bad, but medical professionals do not see a system to be overt or covert, very obvious, or not obvious, it's not that simple to them.

But these labels have been seen to be helpful or interesting by the community, and in that, there is no harm.

3. OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A are medical labels

Actually...No. OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A are not medical labels or terms, in fact, these two aren't even in the DSM, they were later named and found by the OSDD community to differentiate different ways of osdd presenting. As you know, OSDD means Other Specified Dissociative Disorder, otherwise known as a dissociative disorder that may not catch all the symptoms of DID but is pretty close. It is a catch-all. Although the DSM does not ever state OSDD-1A or OSDD-1B, the DSM does give 4 examples of what OSDD can look like. Two of the 4 are what have been named.

So, no, it is not necessary to think or say you have OSDD-1B or 1A, If these labels and distinctions make you feel comfortable go ahead, but others should know, these really aren't important to anyone but the OSDD haver themselves.

The DSM itself.

4. DID & what counts as amnesia

You do not need to have full blackouts like media says to qualify for DID, these things actually aren't as common as they may sound amongst DID havers. Here's a great video about what dissociative amnesia can look like if you think you experience it.

Edit; I had quite the misinformation here, there has been a wonderful reblog you can find on my blog made my @/altercourses please go read it they corrected and made some very important points I would not like to copy and discredit to them!

5. Only certain traumas can result in having DID/OSDD (sexual abuse, physical)

Well...No. That isn't true and the DSM does not inherently ever state that those are the only way an unstable sense of self with parts can exist. The only thing it ever states is if it is long-term childhood abuse, that could cause this disorder to happen. Long-term abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, can come from natural disasters, troubles at birth, etc.

6. You can't be aware of being a system on your own

Ah...You see, making this claim doesn't really make sense to me. That's like saying people with psychosis can't be aware that they are experiencing a delusion, or people who feel depressed for a long amount of time cannot recognize that they have chronic depression. While the popular claim of people do not realize that they might have DID or OSDD until they are well into adulthood or in their 30s is not false, It's fairly common and normal to suspect yourself of having a disorder even if others don't suspect it first, you know yourself better before anyone else does, and just because DID/OSDD is supposed to be hidden from everyone not just including but especially for the host, it's very possible.

7. You always know who's fronting or who you are

Perhaps this is true in some people, that's totally cool! But it's normal and perfectly fine to be blurry or not be able to put names or labels to yourself sometimes. It doesn't need to be this way, let's erase the stigma of this. The Rings System has some great videos on this.

8. Fusion and integration are the same

We must look at what integration and fusion actually mean. Integration means bringing down the dissociative barriers and things that separate the system, making it easier to work together and bring everyone closer together, but this has nothing to do with becoming one! Just improving communication and functioning together. It can sometimes even seem like you are on the same wavelength, which is good.

This often gets mistaken with fusion. A lot of people with plurality say they do not want to integrate, because they mistake integration for fusion! Fusion is actually what you're thinking of. Fusion is the practice of bringing all parts and fragments together to make the failed self at childhood, a whole one person.

While some systems find that fusion, or just merging some parts together is their goal, other systems work towards integration and communication instead, and the professional you're working with should have a positive mindset on both if you work with one.

It's very normal for systems to want to be more distinct or work on themselves separately, or work on getting along as a collective instead of wanting to be one.

9. Endogenic systems are an excuse for hardcore, or no double, "kinnies"

System ≠ kinning. We are not the same, of course, you can be both, but being a system is different. No system I have ever met has not been alright with seeing someone similar to them, or the fictives I know have no issue with seeing another fictive of their source, and if they do, they usually handle it respectively. You are talking about a specific person or a very small amount of people here, and I promise you all plural people don't operate that way, although I do not doubt that it does look like a fine line to the average person.

Also, kinnie can be very offensive to otherkin and therian people, please, let us not use this term regarding those people, or systems.

I tried to list sources for some of my most important claims, but if you want sources for other things, or you believe something is wrong, do not be afraid to correct us on it or send us an ask!

As always,

The (White) Sakura System 🌸