#if you havent read my rules in regards to a certain following rule

[homnculust-blog]

If i remake its going to be a highly selective & private account. 

[gatesofember]

can you expand on the canon and fanon ableism in solangelo? I sort of picked up on the infantilisation of nico (hes dealing with ptsd and i guess chronic fatigue, hes not a baby) but i always thought that was handled better in canon than in fanon? But then i havent read ToN i admit

Sure! I don’t know that I’m the best person to ask this because while I am disabled, I’m still unlearning a lot of ableism myself. But I’ll try my best to explain! Maybe some people could recommend some good posts about this if they know any?

Infantilizing—like you mentioned, this is one of the biggest problems with ableism in the fandom. There isn’t much of this in canon, but in fanon Nico’s often characterized as helpless and he’s not taken seriously. Will often plays the role of caretaker rather than boyfriend to an infantilized Nico, which creates an inherent and unhealthy power imbalance.

Will being portrayed as a savior—a common and dangerous trope in romance is that one character is saved by the love of another. It’s especially damaging when the character being saved has mental health problems or physical disabilities. I think most people realize nowadays that this isn’t okay, but you’ll still occasionally see things that portray Will as a savior. Nico entering a relationship because he’s healing and accepting himself is great! But Nico being saved by a relationship? Bad.

Victim blaming—honestly most characters who interact with Nico in canon engage in some level of victim blaming, but by far the worst one was Will (aside from like. Hades and Minos.) In BoO, Will went on an entire rant telling Nico that he was responsible for his own problems and that he manufactured his own abandonment by pushing people away, when really, Nico was the victim of bullying, rejection, abuse, and serious mental health problems—and he already blamed himself for all that so Will’s rant only would have made him feel more invalidated. Later books definitely pulled back on the victim blaming, but it was such a prevalent part of the foundation of their relationship that it’s been ingrained in the ship. It shows a severe and dangerous misunderstanding of mental health on the part of both Riordan and the fandom.

Will being Nico’s healthcare provider—What makes Will being portrayed as a savior even worse is the fact that Will is a healer. Doctors shouldn’t date their patients. Much like the caretaker issue I mentioned above, it creates a power imbalance which is usually satisfied because the doctor is paid for doing their job, but things get messy when any kind of personal relationship is involved. Will should not be in charge of Nico’s medical care. Of course he can act as Nico’s healer in emergencies, but Nico’s primary medical care provider should be someone else. If Will acts as Nico’s medical care provider out of necessity (eg, because he’s the only healer at camp halfblood), then they need to set up clear boundaries and rules. Will being Nico’s doctor should never be spun as a good thing.

Will abusing his authority as a medical care provider—most notably the “doctor’s orders” and “doctor’s note” scenes. Will was extremely overbearing in BoO, from forbidding Nico from using his powers to ordering him to stay in the infirmary, and that kind of pushiness isn’t okay. He was abusing his power, doubting Nico’s judgement and capabilities, and denying Nico’s right to make his own decisions (again, infantilizing). Disabled people’s agency is often denied and autonomy is so important. Nico should have been allowed to make the choice to stay in the infirmary on his own (or not to stay, or to follow through with his plan to leave chb; he should have had the freedom to make those choices, too), and frankly, it would have been a much more powerful ending to Nico’s pov if he had. He should have chosen to go to the infirmary because he decided he wanted to get better, not because he wanted to be around Will (see previous point about Will being portrayed as a savior) (although it would have been fine if Nico thought of Will as an added bonus). I said in the previous post that Will writing a doctor’s note to allow Nico to sit at the Apollo table doesn’t bother me, but that’s because I imagine that situation being like, Nico was denied accommodations so Will and Nico hatched a plan together to use what little leverage they have to get adults to listen to Nico’s needs and take him seriously, but both of them fully understood that Will should not act as Nico’s doctor again unless there were serious medical reasons. Other people interpret that scene as Will abusing his power as the head medic to sit next to his boyfriend. And I’m not saying that my interpretation of that scene is necessarily the correct one, just that I don’t interpret it as Will being ableist.

Nico faking his disability to get things—I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone bring this point up, but it’s something that really bothers me. The ableism regarding the “doctor’s note” for me isn’t the scene itself, but when the fandom portrays Will and Nico constantly using the doctor’s note excuse to get what they want, often having Nico fake some sort of symptom. Besides the abuse of power I mentioned before, promoting the idea that disabled people fake disabilities to get certain privileges is not okay. This is the sort of thinking that leads to stereotyping disabled people as lazy and it’s so prevalent that it makes a lot of disabled people wonder if they’re really disabled or if they’re making it all up (which ties in with the victim blaming point again).

Sometimes I agree that canon Solanagelo is less ableist than fanon, but sometimes fans do a better job than Riordan. It really just depends. I definitely think that both Riordan and the fandom have gotten better though! Will’s character and his relationship with Nico was very different in ToN than it was in previous books (different for the better but also to the point of inconsistency, but that’s a different critique). There were a lot of things in ToN that made it clear that Riordan was listening to the responses of disabled people. Some fans seem to be listening, too. There’s still rampant ableism in the fandom, but people are getting better at responding to criticism and realizing that a lot of tropes that used to be popular just aren’t ok.

Thank you for your ask! I’m glad you reached out to learn more. Again, if anyone knows good posts to read or blogs to visit for further information, please reply with them!

[stargazinggirk]

In response to PR, Lucy and Rami

Since another post directly referencing mine has been going around I’d thought I’d just clear up one of two points I guess I hadn’t well enough the first time around.

One I like Lucy and Rami both very much. If they are now dating or end up dating I’d be very happy. The man is 38 years old he deserves life partner or wife. And Lucy does too because we all deserve to be happy and loved. I shall never ever in a million years get the chance to meet or date either of them so why should I hate them if they are together? Why be jealous? if Lucy is the one than good she doesn’t seem like a bad or evil person she just seems highly career driven. Just like Rami was in his youth but when a woman show cases that we tend to cast her in a negative light that we don’t on men. That was the motivation for my post but I felt in order to express that I also needed to share what I have come to believe is the truth. Which is that the relationship is or mostly has been a PR stunt. Not talking about that fact felt wrong to me.

The reason for the PR stunt I gave was the nicest out of the three. Which was award season a little googling should explain that or maybe in the future I’ll write a non Rami related cliff notes post on how award season works in Hollywood and the millions of dollars that go into it and why. Because Oscars are still star makers and cash cows ( Bri Larson, Octavia spencer A24, Weinstein anyone) There are two other rumors flying but I don’t feel like they have enough ground or proof to bother writing about.

I came under fire for posting this as it was viewed as an attack on both actors privacy. Which depending on your definition of a public figure could very well be true. I’d normally agree 100% with that poster on this fact. It’s why I’ve with held my knowledge on their relationship and the PR rumors under wraps for sometime and the word in Hollywood till they made it quite clear that they are out in the public like this together and those public actions and comments in blogs,red Carpet interviews and speeches can be discuss and used as a point of reference. When you sit court side though you can get free tickets for more private places you want to be seen and don’t want privacy.

As for breaking rami’s privacy about the PR stunt it’s kinda all over and joked at among those close to a certain part of his inner circle. There isn’t much privacy left to be had. Why do you think almost right after it seemed like they were dating that there was a huge surge in people claiming it’s PR. No one claimed that when it Timmee and Lily Rose because Hollywood had known they were dating for months. No one within a ten foot radius of there social circle was shocked because it had always been tastefully known. There was no doubt they were a real couple. People date their co stars all the time and PR stunt rumors never spread because there is no grounds for it. It’s a when there is smoke their is fire moment and so far none of the smoke has cleared it’s only gotten thicker.

His acting coach ( current or former haven’t gotten a clear answer on that) is openly talking about it with many. If anyone has betrayed rami’s privacy it’s her. But maybe she didn’t really because maybe it’s not a secret Rami is too hot on keeping as it’s spread pretty far and the PR team is making basic moves. Play book moves on all of it. Their biggest mistake was the golden globes mini melt down which they’ve been correcting ever since.

As for why the press doesn’t ask about if it’s PR stunt? Oh my word. You do know how press for actors work right? It’s not journalists actors speak with. Their talking heads. Literally that’s what they are not so nicely referred to as because that’s their job. reps pick the questions. Anyone who is going to interview an actor is sent a list of no go questions and then submits their questions back so the actor can prep their answer. Why else do you think Live Aid is the main talking point of so many interviews? It’s been preplaned to be brought up. Also most of those people respect their guests and don’t want to shame them or make them uncomfortable by bringing up stuff they’ve been asked not to. It also a nice safety net if they get internet shamed for not asking questions. I couldn’t I was given orders not too.

So why doesn’t an interviewer break the rules? If you’re Ellen you can if you are a smaller red carpet person you get black balled. That PR team is never going on to let you speak to anyone of their stars again.

As for the London bffta comment which got mentioned in regards to my post rami is filming doctor doo little - or parts of it in London and possibly James Bond mostly at Pinewood in London. That sounds like a good reason especially given how much more layer back unhollywood like London is. Lucy could be a reason or it could be practical business investment most actors buy places where they film and then rent them out or make them over and sell them for a much higher price ( Angela Jolie’s Budapest short lived Budapest rel estates love affair anyone)

Look was my making the post or even the post the smartest choice of my life no. But the lack of understanding around Hollywood especially when it’s so easy to read the trades and follow key people on Twitter kills me.

So yes people of the internet doubt me. I am hidden behind a screenname and while I’ve made cases no solid proof has been offered. All I can encourage you to do if you want to argue or are curious is do research. Or better yet ask yourself what you are using to say if they are a couple or not. Or what you define as privacy. Or why you don’t like Lucy or don’t like rami or hate Hollywood. Think study learn and don’t consider not speaking on the internet till you can make sound well rounded response otherwise you are just adding to the noise.

And on a bottom bottom note time will tell us more about their relationship. How often she visits the mr robot set or hangs in New York how much he flies back to London over the 3 months after his Oscar win will let us know.

No they won’t break up right after. There will be a post Oscar honeymoon phase for at least a month and then Lucy is will slowly start a social media rebranding of sorts. Showing more of her life and career than she had before and rumors of power moves and the roles she is up for and in talks for will poor in. Then after about 3 months nothing 6 months they don’t be dating but with probably only one or two vague stories of them growing apart - but how successful they are either on E! Or entertainment tonight.

If none of the above follows then I was wrong and my sources mislead or mistaken and I shall be the first to congratulate Lucy and rami and cheers their loyalshippers. Because none of this is an attack against them it’s about the bs we force on movie stars as fans and what the industry does to them.

And on a petty note of this level of breaking down Hollywood and explaining all that I have at a university level with years of experience on this matter sounds like a 12 year old crap post out of jealousy to you then why are you on the tumblr fighting for moviestars honor when you clearly are too brilliant for the likes of this? Just saying that was a really dump attack against me and my credibility t - go on correct my English it’s not my first language nor my second.

[caredogstips]

Leaving heart and dwelling: when your mansion of memories becomes someone else’s | Paul Daley

Its nearly time to go now from this cocoon thats been ours for almost two decades: an archive of elation and observance, of weep and disappointment

My father was never much paid attention to feeling , nostalgia, spiritualism or superstition.

He was practical and banal in belief and taste. In his last years he continued to attend faith principally because he had always had said and done and, I believe, to have done otherwise wouldve compelled an explanation to my excessively churchy mother.

Im not sure he believed in saints or even the Holy spirit. He allows one to scoff at what he regarded the oddness of nuns, especially at the traffic lights if they were behind the wheel of the next car. He certainly never believed in ghosts.

Which is why I was flummoxed when he told me hed once checked his mother wandering around his old category residence. It might have been on the working day she died or, perhaps, where reference is locked up the age-old neighbourhood for the last time upon selling it years later. I cant quite remember. And its too late to ask him now.

Grief will do strange things to ones envisages, for certain. Perhaps hed simply fantasy his mother. I dont know. But I do know that I dream of my parents often. I know they are dead. But in my dreams they are always alive and inside or around my house. My subconscious wants to keep them here, in my home.

Its virtually time to go now from the members of this house thats been my cocoon for almost two decades. An archive of lightnes and gala, of anguish and disappointment, extremely, its the place where Ive written six volumes and a million other words, many of them cruel but all of them from the very heart of home.

Its where we produced our newborns. And its where we still, at certain times of the year, mourn one who never reached it.

Our dead mothers are here, very, and in more than only our dreamings. Yes, their personas are on the walls, just as they will be wherever we go next. But their day lived in this house, the working day and weeks and months when they marvelled at “their childrens” primarily just for their plateau ordinariness( everyone, especially on Facebook, boasts that their teenagers are extraordinary, right ?) is simply remain here.

In some directions its my mother-in-law whose proximity I still feel and miss most acutely around this plaza. She ever managed to crowd the seam, such was her capacity to simultaneously solve any maths difficulty, recite the words to an obscure hymn, administer piano rehearsal, sew a button, iron a shirt, change a nappy and feed the dogs, all while nuking my favourite Le Creuset, before settling in at the kitchen bench while we talked about anything and drank wine-colored as I cooked for the both adults and chiselled the charcoal-gray from the pot.

The dead parents are fixed in my recognitions, in my experiences, merely here, within these walls. Those who live here next, perhaps having abandoned their own souls, wont know any of that of course.

And, so, I think: “whats happening in” all of that life lived, ours and that of the departed, all of that human era expended here, when we move?

One of my Indigenous mates anticipates you should have a meagre smoking formality when you leave a house and another at the other goal when you settle into a new plaza. That draws sense to me: a smoking rite( by which I signify some smouldering gum needles and jasmine in a recipe, with no deliberate breath) to signal to ancestors that youre leaving and to please follow, and another in the new lieu to assure incumbent tones you make no harm.

We havent moved yet. But already I feel like Im chiselling with all of this eyeing off of pretty residences by the water where I might mash my( by necessary brand-new, smaller) writing desk, pack our books and hang our prowes, where the dogs( and kids; not quite a secondary circumstance) might cavort merrily. A plaza in which to live brand-new know-hows, accrue more remembrances, promote people and bird-dogs, change veggies and blooms and books.

Theres so much material we cant take.

Like the majestic golden ash out the back, the possum ladder to our roof, whose buds clog our troughs each autumn.

We carved our initials, the three of us, in the stem when we moved in back in 1997: our older daughter, EM , and us adults leaner, darker-haired, little battered by lifes vagaries and chagrins: PD 4 LT .

Soon originated the JD of the son , now nearly 18. We didnt couldnt engrave the initials of the babe who didnt make it, into the golden ash. It was, perhaps, a year later when we observed the boy had taken it upon himself to write of our loss by engraving heartbreak into the stem for all of us: 4 JD 4 ED …. Years subsequently another living little girl, lastly, at last, became the tree: … 4 CJ .

When our son was born we started on what we called the 21 -year project. The theory was that, like Michael Apteds Up series, we would chronicle on cinema, through interviews and footage, his life to age 21. Life constant pas, juggling same, though often uncomplementary, occupations, corroborating ailing parents and other children went in accordance with the rules. We gave up when he was about three. But we did observe his proliferation with ways of pen and appointments on the side of a bookcase that is fixed to one of the walls. Over the years all sorts of random tourists sidekicks, rellos, tradies were recognized off on the side of that bookcase.

It was our visitors notebook. It has to stay, I suppose.

Im not at all handy. But I wonder if a mallet and chisel would do the trick.

Im not much of a gardener, either. Our front is often the unruliest in what is, even by Canberras criteria, a preferably ruly street. But our magnolia, which briefly buds in a prosper of aubergine and white yearly, is the most magnificent in the neighbourhood. Every year the teenagers from when they first sounded as bulges in their fathers belly have been photographed beneath that blooming tree with their mum.

For years Ive waged crusade on the possums who sit in the tree from late wintertime and heckle the dogs while fattening on my magnolia buds. Theyre protected, so you cant kill them, but theyre startled of bright sun. By photo time in early September, only about half the tree blooms. But its enough for the annual photograph.

And as fate or life or occasion or something would have it, the woman from the Australian Bureau of Statistics whos been leaving little memoranda for me for weeks, pushing me to complete the ill-fated census, only knocked on the door again to ask if Id done it hitherto. No. Sorry. Not yet.

I love your home, she said.

I always reckon it seems so messy from wall street, I replied.

No. It gazes interesting and loved.

Its photo time No 18 this weekend. God, it comes around rapidly. It will be our last-place here. Soon well leave.

And our house, our vessel of occasion, of remembrances and beings, will be coming someone elses.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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