#if you're wondering why you keep getting the same thing in your notifications this is why and i apologize

[violetganache42]

The remaining cards for "Shimmering Skies" were revealed over on the official Lorcana Discord server, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that another DuckTales (2017) card was part of this batch! This time, it's our third Scrooge card for the game! What definitely caught my eye was the artwork; the way he was drawn reminds me a bit of koizumi-marichan's art!

Scrooge McDuck - Afficionado of Antiquities

Ink Cost: 4 (Uninkable) Card Type: Character Ink: Sapphire Classification: Storyborn • Hero Strength: 5 Willpower: 5 Lore: 2 Rarity: Rare

“The secret room should be right here! Ach, I cannot believe I paid a whole penny for this map.”

Art by Cam Kendell

[absurdthirst]

Safe Haven {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 17.1k

Warnings: No Outbreak AU, domestic violence, spousal abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, Joel is a protector, oral sex, female receiving, fingering, vaginal sex, brief hair pulling, rough sex, aftercare, death, loss, kidnapping, threats of violence, feral Joel, threats of murder, happy endings. Reader is described as having hair that can be pulled.

Comments: Coming to Jackson had been a last resort, scared of your ex and running for your life. Meeting a cowboy in the bar your aunt owns will change the trajectory of your life, and his.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Joel groans as he steps out of his truck, the moon shining above and he adjusts his belt after he locks his vehicle. Making his way into the bar, he nods his head at the men who greet him. Locals in Jackson that he has known for years ever since he moved to the area to escape Texas. To escape the memories. He strides up to the bar and sits down on the stool, raising his hand to call over the bartender. He expects to see Jerry come over to give him his usual - beer and a shot of whiskey - but instead, a beautiful woman appears and Joel raises his eyebrows. "What can I get ya?" You ask him, wiping down the counter. "Yuengling...and shot of Jameson." He orders and you nod, walking along the bar to pour his drinks. His eyes dip down to your ass and he wonders where the hell you came from. This town is for rough ranchers, not pretty young things like you. "Here you go. Wanna open a tab or close out?" You ask and he snorts, "tab. Name is Miller. I have an ongoing tab." He says and you nod, having discovered that nearly everyone has an open tab. 

You add the drinks to his tab and sigh, leaning against the counter to look at the brooding man who saddled up to your bar. He's gorgeous. A rancher through and through with the hat on his head which he takes off to set down on the counter after taking a sip of his drink. He's the kind of man you'd be flirting with if you had any interest in that. You don't. That's why you moved to Jackson, to get away from men. Well, one man. Your husband. "So, you're new in town?" Joel asks when you refill his beer. "Yeah. Arrived yesterday." You reveal and he hums, "well, welcome to the most boring place in the USA." He snorts and you wince, remembering the fact that your husband called Jackson the exact same thing.

Joel notices the joke falls flat and he taps the bar, looking around the place. It’s pretty quiet for a Friday night, but the night is still young. You wipe down the counters and Joel tosses back the shot, setting the glass down on the counter. “Another?” You ask and he smirks slightly. “Hell, why not?” He shrugs, picking up his beer. “Nowhere else to be tonight.”

You nod, making your way over to the bottles to pour him another whiskey. After you set it down, he says, “you want a drink? I’ll buy you one.” He says and you shake your head, crossing your arms, “no thanks. I don’t drink while I’m working. My aunt owns the place and I don’t think she’d want me drinking on the job.” You reveal and Joel says your aunt’s name, “you’re her niece? She mentioned you’d be coming into town.” He hums and you hate the fact that those dark brown eyes of his are hard to look away from. “Yeah. I, uh, it was last minute. I needed to escape and she helped me.” You confess and Joel tilts his head, “from what? A boring 9-5?” He chuckles and you shake your head, “from my husband.”

Joel’s brow knits, instantly wondering what could have occurred and he stares at you for a moment before he nods. “Understood.” He grunts, taking another sip of his beer and glancing around the room, noticing a few of the other ranch’s hands are here, including his own. “You have a problem, you tell any of the boys from the Triple M to give you a hand.” He tells you, looking back at you. “You have a problem with them, you let me know. I’ll handle them.”

You nod, offering him a slight smile, “thanks.” You get called over to another patron but your eyes drift back over to Joel. He’s handsome. In a slightly depressed way. That’s probably why you can’t stop looking over at him. He’s damaged goods…like you. “Another round?” You ask Joel, someone now sitting next to him. “Yeah. And what do you want, asshole?” He asks the younger man who scoffs, “don’t be mean in front of the pretty lady.” He nudges Joel. You bite your lip at the compliment but you know it would sound better coming from the older man’s lips.

“Where’s your wife?” He looks around, not seeing Maria. His younger brother grins the sappy smile of a man in love, “she’s in the bathroom. Has to pee every time she gets out of the truck.” Joel snorts, although he’s slightly jealous. You walk back over and he jerks his head to the side. “Beer and a shot for this jerk and a ginger ale for his wife, pretty lady.” He smirks slightly, aware of the interest in your eyes and he wouldn’t mind peeling you out of those jeans.

You work fast to get their drinks, setting them down just as the woman you assume is Maria comes to the bar and sits down. “This baby is bouncing on my damn bladder.” She huffs, picking up the ginger ale you set down for her. “Not long now, baby.” Tommy says, leaning in to kiss her cheek and your stomach twists at the obvious love in his eyes for his wife. You set Joel’s beer down, “here you go, handsome.” You flirt back slightly, wanting him to know you find him attractive. You tell yourself it’s to get a bigger tip.

Tommy’s brow wings up, surprised that his brother is flirting with someone but it’s good to see him get back on the horse. “Well, fuck me, tonight’s gonna be a good night!” He slaps the bar top with a grin, making Joel roll his eyes. “Pay attention to your wife.” He grunts, sending you a wink. “Lady’s interested in me.”

Joel’s wink makes your cheeks heat up and you chuckle at the way Tommy rolls his eyes at his brother before he turns to nuzzle his nose against his wife’s cheek. Another customer calls you over and you walk down the bar passing Jerry who is serving someone else. “She’s pretty.” Maria hums, caressing her bump, “you should ask her out.”

“She’s flirtin’ to get a better tip.” Joel dismisses the idea, although he wouldn’t mind taking you out. It’s been a long time since he’s wanted someone. Hell, it was almost surprising that his cock twitches and he’s half hard. “If she wants to go out, she can let me know. I drink here, and I don’t want her aunt poisoning my whiskey.”

You watch Joel from the corner of your eye. It’s wrong to feel attracted to him. You came here to escape, not to get with a local rancher. You need to focus on yourself, not on a handsome man. You find it hard to trust anyone. Your aunt gave you a safe haven from your husband and you need to keep it that way. 

**** 

“You’re a fucking useless slut!” Your husband, Josh, yells at you, throwing the dinner you cooked him across the room. You hadn’t made the meatloaf he didn’t tell you he wanted. Apparently he expected you to be a mind reader and he’s not happy to have fettuccine Alfredo instead. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You didn’t -” You cut yourself off. 

“I didn’t tell you? You should fucking know. You know what I like to eat! Why did I marry you? I could’ve had Shelly from work. At least she sucks cock. Every guy gets a blowjob from her but no, I got stuck with you. You don’t give me shit. I got a useless cunt. All because you got pregnant.” He hisses and you shake your head, tears stinging in your eyes. You lost the baby at five months. It was traumatic for you and your husband seemed to be relieved but didn’t divorce you. You’ve been married for three years. The first year he was perfect. He took you out for dinner, treated you well. After you lost the baby, he changed. You should’ve left him when you lost the baby but you were so distraught and your only family is your aunt. You lost your parents when you were in college to a car accident. You had no one to lean on except Josh. 

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t - I can make you meatloaf.” You choke out and he scoffs, “too fucking late. I’m gonna go to the bar, get some wings. Clean up this goddamn mess.” He points at the dishes he threw on the floor and you nod, your throat closing as your hands shake. He slams the door behind him and you start to sob, sinking down to the floor. You need to get out of here. 

**** 

“Woah, watch you’re doing lady!” One of the ranch hands snaps his fingers in front of your face and you come back to yourself, gasping when you realize the beer you’re pouring hasn’t stopped because you are pulling down on the tap. “Shit.” You hiss, lifting the lever and setting the beer down. “I’m - I’m so sorry.” You choke, reaching for the rags to clean it up. Jerry comes over, his eyes widening at the mess on the floor and he shakes his head, “clean up this goddamn mess.” He hisses, clearly frustrated with you and you gasp, hands shaking as you fumble with the rags. “I- I-” You struggle to breathe, taken back to that night with Josh.

“Jerry, chill the fuck out.” Joel growls, seeing that you are as spooked as an unbroken foal and he immediately senses that you need a moment. He pushes away from the bar and walks over to the mess and takes the rags from you. “Go take a piss or wash your face.” He tells you quietly before looking back at Jerry. “It’s just some fucking beer and it’s not like this place is the goddamn Ritz.” He huffs, folding the rag and wiping up the beer himself as you edge away. Joel’s dark eyes find you watching warily, as if unsure if you should and he nods. “Go on, girl.” He tells you again.

Your hands are shaking as you make your way to the bathroom and you inhale deeply as you push the door open, rushing over to the sink and tears sting in your eyes as you try to control yourself. You are shaking and you’re taken right back to Josh. How he would say you’re a useless whore. You splash water on your face, trying to calm your racing heart. After ten minutes, you gather the strength to go back outside to finish your shift. The beer has been cleaned up and you decide to get Joel a round on you.

Joel watches as you set another beer down in front of him. Tommy and Maria are on the dance floor, holding each other close while the other couples zip around them. “You good?” He asks, watching you close and not liking that you were obviously crying at one point.

“I’m good.” You nod, “this one is on me.” You tell him, wiping your hands on your jeans. “Sorry about that. I- I freaked out and I shouldn’t have.” You confess, “I embarrassed myself.” You shake your head, “all because of pulling a beer.”

“More like a trauma response to some shit from your past.” Joel comments, watching you for a moment before he picks his beer up with a small nod of appreciation. His knuckles are scarred from his own trauma responses, so he knows what you are going through. “Best thing to do is to focus on something good. And talk to someone…..if you’re into that kind of shit.” He doesn’t feel comfortable expressing himself to a lot of people, but he doesn’t look down on those who do.

You stare at him, shocked that he’s read you like a book, and you nod after a few seconds. “I- I’ll try to do that. Thank you. It’s - it’s complicated.” You sigh and lean back against the counter. “I don’t really like talking.”

"Then don't talk." Joel shrugs slightly, knowing that he's the same way. "Better options are to either fuck through your feeling or raise hell." He takes a sip of his beer and eyes you. "Both of them have their merits."

You snort, “sex sounds pretty damn good actually.” You lean against the counter, “I’m not a raise hell kind of girl. More of a book and a coffee kind of girl.” You admit, “what’s your preference?”

Joel’s eyebrow ticks up and he wonders if you are feeling him out. “Fuckin’ wasn’t always an option.” He tosses out casually. “Sometimes you just gotta beat the shit out of someone’s face if you can’t make a woman scream in pleasure.” He shrugs, eyes meeting yours. “But I’d rather fuck, any day of the week.”

You inhale sharply at his words, your stomach twisting with arousal. Josh wouldn’t have sex with you since that night you fucked up his dinner. Deep down, you knew he was fucking someone else and you didn’t care. As long as he wasn’t coming to you for sex. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched with desire and the look in Joel’s eyes tells you he’s capable of making you feel things you’ve never felt before. “Me too. I’m not a fighter.” You confess, snorting at your own joke. You couldn’t fight against your husband when he would scream at you. “I’m guessing the options around here aren’t too plentiful for you. Seems like more ranch hands than anyone else.”

“Nah.” Joel huffs out a smirk. “And they ain’t exactly my type.” His eyes slide up and down your body and he knows you are interested. “Been a long time since I’ve had a pretty little thing like you.” He admits, ignoring the pang of loss from Tess. It’s been a few years and she’s gone.

You bite your lip, stomach twisting with lust at the dark look in his chocolate eyes. His hair is streaked with salt and pepper and his hands are calloused. He looks capable. Like he'd protect you with his entire being or he has the capacity to destroy you. You're not sure if you want to take the risk after escaping from Josh. "Been a long time since a handsome man took any interest in me." You confess, "damaged goods." You shrug, "but you seem to understand that. I'm new here...any tips on places to go, things to do?"

Joel sets his beer down and shrugs, leaning forward. “Ain’t too much to do around here.” He admits, licking his lips before he decides to proposition you. “Best thing is to watch the sun come up off the northern part of my land.” He tells you. “Might have to come stay the night to get there on time.”

“There’s a campfire breakfast option or a regular option with a thermos of coffee to take on horseback.” Joel nods. “Either one. I prefer to sleep under the stars when I get a chance, but you might prefer indoor plumbing.

You chuckle, “I am partial to a toilet but a night under the stars sounds perfect. Exactly what I need after all the shit I’ve gone through.” You confess. “You want another drink? Water?” You ask, “or coffee? Jerry has a pot going in the back.”

“Coffee.” Joel decides, finishing his beer and pushing the glass towards you. “Black. I’m a simple kind of man.”

You nod, taking the glass, and you head into the kitchen to grab him a cup of coffee. You bring it back to him and look over at his brother and his wife. “She’s due soon.” You jerk your chin over to the couple and Joel nods, “yeah. They got all the baby shit ready to go. I had to make up the crib. Good thing I used to be a contractor.” He snorts and you chuckle, “you’re gonna be a good uncle. I can tell. You got kids?” You ask, tilting your head.

Joel frowns, looking down into his coffee. “Got a foster kid.” He tells you, his heart aching when he remembers Sarah and how he had held her in his arms as she took her last breaths. “Pain in my ass.”

You snort, “she’s a teenager?” You assume from the look on his face but his eyes soften when he mentions her. “Well, I don’t work tomorrow night. My aunt wanted me to settle in after a rough first shift so if you’re free…maybe you could show me around town?”

“What time do you get off tonight?” Joel asks, weighing the work that needs to be done with the chance to just blow off some steam.

You look at your watch, “in an hour. Jerry said he’d close out my first night. Let me settle in with the locals first.” You reveal, “so…if you’re free…” You trail off, leaning against the countertop.

“Passenger seat in my truck is empty.” He points out, glancing back at Tommy and Maria, still dancing. “We can split the difference.” He decides. “Indoor sex tonight and outdoor sex tomorrow.” He smirks and winks. “See if you can ride a horse after I ride you all night.”

Your eyes widen and you inhale sharply, liking the cocky look on his face. You’ve been through hell and you want to have fun. You deserve to have fun. “Sure thing, cowboy. You ready? I can settle your tab and tell Jerry that I’m leaving.” You know you should play coy but he doesn’t seem like the kind of man to like being messed around with. He nods, shifting to pull his wallet out of his jeans and he hands you enough bills to cover his tab and his family. “Thanks.” You say, heading over to the cash register. “Keep the change.” He orders when you come back over and you sigh, knowing it’s best to not argue. “I’ll go get my jacket if you still want me to come home with you?”

“I’ll wait.” He’s not the type of man to have you come out of the bar and search for him. Groaning slightly as he stands, he motions. “Go get your shit, I’ll say bye to my brother and hands that are here.” He tells you, turning to head towards the group of Triple M hands playing pool in the back corner.

You walk over to Jerry, telling him you're leaving, and his eyes dart over to Joel, a frown on his face. "I hope you know what you're doing." He clicks his tongue and you nod, "I'm having fun." He snorts, "go. I'll lock up." He orders and you rush into the back room to grab your jacket and your purse, coming out the front to find Joel waiting for you, his hands in his pockets. Your heart thumps in your chest at what you're doing. Both with nerves and excitement. It's been a long time since you felt this way.

​​He shouldn’t do this. You’ve got trouble written all over you. But it seems like Joel finds nothing but trouble and he’s always been a sucker for a nice ass. “Ready?” He pulls his hand out of his pocket and touches the small of your back as he guides you out of the bar and over to a large 4x4 dually with the Triple M logo on the side. He walks you to the passenger door and opens it for you. “If you’re gonna fuck the shit out of a woman, you can open the door for her.” He grunts when you look at him in surprise.

You are surprised by his actions and his words. “I just - I’m not used to having the door opened for me.” You confess and he shakes his head, “then you’ve been with mannerless assholes.” He scoffs and you chuckle, “that we can agree on.” You get up into the truck and it smells like him. He rounds the front after shutting your door and you inhale sharply, trying to calm your racing heart. “I just realized…I never got your name.” You frown, looking at him after he settles in the driver's seat.

Sliding the key into the ignition, Joel chuckles as he introduces himself. “Joel Miller.” He tells you quietly. “Rancher.” He wonders if you are second guessing yourself. “Own the Triple M spread. My brother Tommy and his wife own the next ranch over. Called it Fresh Start Ranch.” He snorts. “They rehabilitate horses and people.” He tells you. “Gives minors and first time offenders job skills.”

You nod, saying his name. It suits him. “Enough people know you to know that I’m safe.” You declare and he nods, “I ain’t gonna hurt you.” He promises and you smile, telling him your name, “currently on the run from my crazy husband who tried to kill me. I own nothing. Don’t have a dollar. He took control of our joint account and I can’t use it otherwise he will find me.” You confess, revealing your reason for being here.

“Cash is king.” Joel nods, not liking the bastard from what little you’ve told him. “You can always open an account in our local bank.” He tells you. “They don’t ask too many questions. A lot of the hands open accounts.”

"Probably best to stick with cash. I - I barely made it out of there with my life. I can't - I can't risk him finding me." You confess, hands shaking slightly as you lean back in your seat. You close your eyes, remembering the way he held the knife in his hand. "Hey. Hey. Look at me." Joel murmurs and you inhale deeply before you turn to look at him. "I can escort you home. I ain't - you don't seem ready for anything." He observes and you sigh, "it's - I don't want to be alone. Can we go to yours and talk? I want to tell you why I'm like this." You say, voice a little stronger.

He doesn’t need another headache. He doesn’t need another responsibility. He’s got plenty on his plate without your shit added on, but he can’t turn down the naked plea in your eyes. He sighs and nods. “Sure.” He pulls out of the parking lot, resigned to the fact that the sex he had been anticipating is now off the table. “How did your aunt end up in Jackson?” He asks conversationally.

“She was married to a rancher. He died when he was fifty. Heart attack from the stress. So she sold the ranch and bought the bar and the apartment above. She lived there for ten years then decided to move into a home when she got remarried. So, she’s been around town for a while. Doesn’t manage the bar as much and needs a set of hands. She called me to check on me the week before he - she said I was welcome to escape here. Just call her and the apartment and job is mine.” You tell him and he hums, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Did he physically abuse you?” Joel asks, wanting to know what kind of prick you were married to. “Or more emotional and verbal?” He knows that if it’s physical, if the bastard shows up here, no one will even acknowledge that you are here, if you are sitting right in front of them. Everyone protects their own here in Jackson. Joel would be even more brutal. He would just take him out on the ranch and bury him.

“He was emotional and verbal. Everything I did…it was never enough. He would throw things at him but never hit me. Until - until the day he found out I was leaving. He came home early from work. He wanted me to make him lunch and he found my bags in the hall. I was in the shower, about to get dressed and leave before he got home from work and he - he came into the bathroom with the knife. I only managed to escape because I sprayed him with hot water. Ran to the car naked and I- I drove off after grabbing one bag in the hallway. I sold the car the next day, bought another one so he couldn’t track me and drove here to escape.” You reveal, hands shaking at the memory of him pulling back the shower curtain, the knife in his hand.

“Jesus Christ.” Joel hisses, tightening his fist on the steering wheel as he drives. “What a fucking psycho. You don’t need to worry, people around here don��t like fuckers period, but definitely not ones who would threaten someone they are supposed to protect.” He reaches out and offers your leg a light squeeze before he lets go. Remembering you might be skittish.

You feel safe with him. His touch is reassuring and something you haven’t felt in so long. “I- I escaped but he’s looking for me. I know he is. He was yelling at me, telling me he couldn’t let me go. I couldn’t leave. He screamed that he’d kill me before I left.” You choke, “I barely made it but I did and I refuse - I need to start fresh.”

Joel nods, knowing all about fresh starts. “Jackson is a good place for it.” He tells you. “Lots of folks are here because they got something they want to forget. You’ll blend in in no time.” He chuckles. “Then you’ll have half the patrons ready to whoop his ass if he shows his face in town.”

You smile, “thank you.” You reach for his hand, squeezing gently. He seems so capable and you love it. The strength in his touch but you’re not scared of it. You look out of the window, watching the town pass by, and he pulls into an estate with “Triple M” above the sign. “I really want to see the sunrise.” You reveal and you look back at him as he drives down the rubble road to his place. “I really want to see you.” You decide, feeling safe with him after telling him why you're so skittish.

Joel chuckles and he tries to ignore the harsh reality of that lie. He’s let so many women in his life down. His wife, his daughter, his lover. He’s terrified that he might let Ellie down and now you have just thrown him for a loop like he’s breaking a new colt. “You’re seein’ me, ain’t ya?” He asks, flashing you a grin. It takes five minutes to get from the gate of the property to the main house and he nods towards it when it comes into view. “Whaddya think?”

You inhale sharply at the beautiful lodge. Its setting against the mountains that will be seen when the sun rises has you nodding, “it’s beautiful. I see why you like it so much.” You tell him, “you gonna show me the inside?”

“Don’t plan on making you wait in the truck.” He snorts, pulling up to the front yard and parking it. “Come on. I’ll show you around and you can see what you like best.”

You smile at him as he gets out after killing the engine and rounds the truck to open the door for you. You get out and follow him inside his place, admiring his shoulders and back as he unlocks the door to reveal the comfortable and warm lodge. “Oh it’s gorgeous. I love it.” You exhale in awe, stepping in to admire the manly yet homey decor.

“It’s home.” He grunts, moving over to the bar area of the living room. “Want a drink? Coffee? Whatever you want, we can make it happen.”

“You have any whiskey?” You ask, walking over to the photo frames on the table in the living room. There’s a few different women in the photos. From two young girls to two older women. You can't figure out who is who. You turn to watch Joel pour out two glasses of whiskey, walking over to hand it to you after he’s done. “So who’s who?” You ask, gesturing to the photos.

Joel sighs softly, aware that you would ask about it, although he hadn’t expected it to be tonight. “That’s Ellie and Tess.” He tells you, pointing at one picture with his drink hand before taking a sip. “Foster kid and my late- erm, lover.” He settles on that title for Tess.

Your eyes widen and he continues, “she died a few years ago. It - it was fucking dumb. She was trying to rescue a stray dog on the property and it bit her. She got fucking rabies and - and she died.” He shakes his head, unable to believe it even after all these years. The worst part? She didn’t know that he loved her. “I’m so sorry.” You choke, reaching up to touch his arm.

Joel shakes his head and sighs. "Not a goddamn thing I could do." He admits softly, unsure why he is talking to you about this. He never talks to anyone about losing Tess, not even Tommy dares to bring up her name. Ellie had just been placed with them and it had been a long time before he opened up to the girl at all.

Your heart aches for him, he’s lost so much. “I’m - there’s no words.” You murmur, knowing there’s nothing you can say to remotely make the loss tolerable. He has to heal on his own time. “She has your eyes.” You point to the other teenager and Joel smiles sadly, “my Sarah. She - she was killed when she was thirteen. I used to live in Texas. Austin. She went to go get my watch repaired for my birthday and - and she was shot.” He confesses, “I tried to get there as quick as I could and she - she died in my arms.” He finishes quietly and your eyes widen, glistening with tears from the pain in his voice. 

“Joel…I-” You don’t continue, you just spin around and wrap your arms around him.

Joel grunts, absorbing the impact of the hug. You had pushed into him hard, probably trying to reconcile all that he’s endured and he awkwardly wraps his arms around you. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the hug, he just doesn’t know how to really handle the softness anymore. “It’s - I’m existing. I’m still here.” He doesn’t mention that his sole reason now is for Ellie, but he rubs your back gently. “If I can make it, you can too, pretty girl.”

You look at him, that small patch in his beard that doesn’t seem to grow, and you lean in to kiss it. “You don’t- we don’t have to do anything.” He reminds you but you kiss his jaw again. “I want to. I want to feel. I want to feel wanted. Desired. Can you do that for me? Can you fuck me like there’s no tomorrow?” You ask, “because that’s what I need right now.”

Joel’s eyes flatten, darkening with desire. “I fuck rough.” He warns you, voice dipping down and taking on a raspy quality. “I’ll make you feel good, but I’ll also make you hurt.” He’s not talking about a slap or any kind of violence, he doesn’t get off on beating women while he fucks them. However, you would feel him tomorrow, every step you take and when you are riding a horse.

You whimper at the gruffness in his voice but it’s arousal. You know he won’t actually harm you. You nod, “I want that. Just- just make me feel something other than what I’ve been feeling.” You demand, wanting to take control of your emotions after such a turbulent escape.

“I can do that.” He promises, lifting his drink. “Finish your whiskey and I’ll make you forget your own name by the time I’m done riding you.” He growls, cock starting to harden again at the thought of laying you out on his bed.

You let go of him, stepping back to grab your glass and you down it, wincing at the sting of the alcohol but you like it. He watches you as he sips, doesn’t down it like you do, and your body tingles from his intense stare.

Joel knows Ellie is in town. It was the entire reason he had gone to the bar. She’s spending the night at Dina’s house and the main house is empty except for you and him. “Take your clothes off.” He orders, leaning back against the bar. “Ex-excuse me?” You huff, making him smirk at you as he continues to drink. “You heard me, girl. Strip.” His eyes drag up and down your form possessively. “I want to see every beautiful inch of your body before I touch you.”

You should say no but the look on his face has you obeying. You shrug off your jacket, letting it fall to the floor before you reach for the hem of your shirt. You lift it over your head and expose your bra. You hear his soft groan and it makes your pussy start to throb with need at the desire. You reach behind you to unclasp it and drag it down your arms, exposing your tits to his hungry gaze as he sips the alcohol. He doesn’t say a word, encouraging you to continue with his silence so you kick off your sneakers and unbutton your jeans, pushing them down your legs until you’re left in your panties and socks. “All of it.” He demands and you nod, lifting your feet to remove your socks then you hook your fingers in your panties, pushing them down your legs until you are standing bare before him.

“Fuck.” Joel growls, draining the rest of his whiskey and slapping the glass down onto the bar before he shoves off of it. His blood is hot, cock aching for you and he’s going to show you exactly what that little show has done for him. Stomping up to you, he grabs your ass and hauls you close, his lips demanding and harsh when they descend on yours.

He tastes like whiskey and something sweet that makes you moan into his mouth. His fingers dig into your flesh and you tangle your fingers in his salt and pepper locks, pressing yourself against him. His hard cock is pressing against your hip and you moan when his tongue pushes into your mouth. He takes what he wants without forgiveness and you love it. You love that he’s taking all the need to think away from you.

Joel is strong, he’s manhandled bull calves and horses, throwing hay and everything else that is needed on a ranch. Grabbing your thighs, he hoists you up into his arms, making you gasp into his mouth. Clinging to him as your legs wrap around his waist. Still kissing you, he starts to carry you towards his bedroom, eager to lay you down.

You gasp when he tosses you down on his bed. Simple comforter and two pillows, you shift back onto them to watch him as he works on unbuttoning his shirt. “I want to do it.” You huff, shifting onto your knees and reaching out to continue removing his clothes. When his shirt is unbuttoned, you push it down his shoulders and caress his chest, admiring the salt and pepper hair there.

Joel groans at the feel of your warm hands on his skin. He hadn’t been lying, it’s been a long time since he’s had someone touch him. Your fingers comb through his chest hair and he leans in to bite your bottom lip. “Open my pants, pretty girl.” He growls, cupping your ass again.

Your hands slide lower to play with the buckle of his belt, working fast to undo it, and you whip it out of the loops, making him chuckle. You toss the belt to the floor and work on unbuttoning his pants, reaching in to pull his hard cock out and you moan at the way your fingers barely touch when you squeeze him. “Holy shit.” You gasp, looking down at his girth.

Joel smirks, watching your eyes widen. “Second thoughts, pretty girl?” He rasps out. “Don’t think you could take me?”

You swallow harshly, "I- I am going to take every inch." Your stomach twists in anticipation. Josh had a small dick and you never complained when he first started fucking you but he was selfish. You wonder if Joel is selfish or not. You lean over to spit onto his length, twisting your wrist to start pumping his cock.

“Un uh.” He almost grabs your face, not wanting you to blow him, but he just grunts in approval when you pump his cock in your fist. “You’re going to cream on every inch.” He warns you, rocking his hips forward into your grip. “Now, tell me right now before we get started.” He huffs. “Anything I can’t do to you?”

You shake your head, "he never - thank God. He didn't abuse me like that. He stopped touching me. We didn't - not for eighteen months." You confess, "I think he was cheating on me." You continue pumping his cock, leaning in to kiss his neck.

Joel grunts. “Then your pussy’s been neglected for far too long.” He grabs your wrist to pull you off his cock, stepping back and kicking off his boots and shucking his jeans. Making sure to pull out his wallet for a condom.

You shift back onto the bed, laying down as you watch him throw his wallet onto his nightstand, his jeans and briefs discarded on the floor. "Fuck, you're so hot." You murmur, eyes drinking in the sight of the strong and capable man.

He chuckles, knowing that he is old and wearing down, but he can still put on a good show for you. Grabbing your ankle, he flips you onto your stomach and ignores your shriek of surprise before his hand comes down on your ass.

You gasp in surprise, your finger curling in the sheets and you moan when he smacks your ass again. "Again." You plead, wanting him to consume you, to make you forget all of the shit you've endured recently.

“That’s a good girl.” He slaps your ass again, a bit harder this time, tempering the slap with a quick rub of the skin with the palm of his hand. Grabbing both globes and pulling them apart to look. “Stared at this ass while you got my beer.” He grunts, leaning in and spitting on the puckered hole. “Knew it would be killer.”

Your eyes roll back in bliss at the way he's manhandling you. "Swayed my hips to make sure you were looking." You confess, "I wanted you to - to want me." You admit, "want you to fuck me hard. Make me forget my own name."

His hand slides through your folds to your clit. “Have to make sure you can take me first.” He hums. “Want you to be sore, not bleeding.”

You rest your cheek on his sheets, moaning when he rubs your clit. You’re already wet for him but his cock is too girthy for you to take him without his fingers stretching you out first. “So good. Joel, baby. Shit. Want your fingers inside of me.”

Joel smirks, pulling his hand away so you whine. He slaps your ass once more and flips you onto your back again. “Want to see your face when you cum.” He slides two thick fingers into your cunt while he dives into your folds with his mouth ravenously.

Your shriek echoes off of his walls as his fingers drive into you, making your back arch and your fingers tangle into his hair as he sucks on your clit like a hard candy. “Fuck.” You gasp, loving the way his thick fingers stretch you out.

Joel groans against your clit, curling his fingers up inside you and scissoring them apart. Wanting to stretch you out. His other hand has your hip in a bruising grip to keep you from bucking up. Sucking on your clit harshly.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” You cry out, back arching as you try to not buck up. His hand squeezes your hip and you moan his name as he laps at your clit, your fingers tugging on his hair and your other hand squeezes your tit.

His dark eyes watch you carefully, tongue flicking over your clit before he sucks on it again. Pulling back his hand in order to push another finger inside you. Wanting to make sure you are going to take him with ease.

You pant as he stretches you out on his thick digits. No one has taken this much care with you. Most men would’ve been trying to stick their dick in you by now. You moan his name again, toes curling when he works you higher and higher until you’re crying out. “Oh fuck!” You squeal, clamping down on his fingers as you fall apart around them.

Joel lightens the pressure of his tongue, but he keeps pumping his fingers into you. Curling them and pushing deeper. Rocketing you higher until his name comes out as a squeak and another rush of liquid splashes his wrist. Your cunt squeezes his fingers like a vice and he knows you are going to feel amazing around his cock. Chuckling, he starts to slow down, letting you ride out your pleasure with a nice languid pace until your body goes boneless. “Now you’re ready.” He hums.

You nod, eyes still closed as he withdraws his digits and you manage to open them to watch him kneel on the bed. He grabs the condom, opening it, and he rolls it down his cock with a hiss from how hard his cock is. He was leaking pre-cum into the sheets while he was working you open. “I’m still not sure that’s gonna fit.” You declare and he chuckles, “it’s gonna.” His face turns serious, “but if it hurts, you tell me and I pull out.” You nod and he shuffles closer, gathering your slick from your folds to coat his length. “You ready?” He asks and you inhale deeply, “yeah. Fuck me.”

Joel hovers over you, flashing you a smirk as he braces one hand on the bed. The other is wrapped around his cock as he guides it to your entrance. “Wrap your legs around me when I push inside you, pretty girl.” He grunts. “And hang on. This ride will last longer than you’re used to.” He promises, snapping his hips forward and burying his length inside you.

​​You do as he says, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pushes inside of you. “Oh my fucking God!” You cry out, tilting your head back as you take his girth inside of you. He’s stretching you out but the slight hint of pain is delicious. Your mouth falls open and your legs tighten around him while he works himself completely inside of you. “I really didn’t think you’d fit.” You confess, gasping from the intensity and you love it. You feel alive.

He chuckles, leaning in to brush his lips over yours. “Knew it would.” He grunts, twitching when your walls clench down around him. You seem to like the rough rasp of his voice. “Tight little pussy fits like a glove.” He groans. “Now let’s see how you cum on my cock.” He hisses as he pulls his hips back, prepared to slam back into you again.

You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his lips back to yours, and your tongue slides against his as he starts to move inside of you. He eagerly swallows your moans of pleasure and you tilt your hips up, trying to meet his rhythm. “Fuck. You feel so good.” You pant against his lips, “more. Want you to - to wreck me.” You order, wanting him to make you forget your own name.

He chuckles again at how greedy you are, but his hips snap forward just a little harder on the next thrust. “Gonna wreck you.” He promises, ducking down slightly and starting to bite on your jaw.

You tilt your head to give him more access, your thighs tightening around him as he starts to fuck you hard. "Shit baby. Keep - keep going." You plead, knowing your expectations are low because of your husband who would barely last a couple of minutes.

Joel plants his hands on the bed bedside your head and starts to pound into you. Knowing that his back will start to scream, but he’s not going to let up until you are the one screaming. Hammering into you with rough, quick thrusts before pulling back to do it again.

Your eyes widen when he hammers into you. A squeal escaping your lips and you choke out his name. He steals your breath from you and his cock pushes deep enough that it feels like he's in your stomach. "Ho-holy shit." You moan, your heels pushing into his ass as he grunts above you.

He doesn’t have the breath to chuckle. Just continuing to fuck you like there is no tomorrow. Grunting and hissing every time he buries himself deep and pulls back for another thrust. He curls his hands into fists and he changes the angle of his hips until the pubic hair above his cock rubs against your clit.

“Ohhh myyyyy fuck - fucking Godddd!” You squeal endlessly, breathlessly as he rams into you. He’s rubbing your clit with his pelvis and your eyes squeeze shut. Your breath hitches as your body starts to shake. You moan his name and he rocks into you over and over. “I’m gonna- you’re gonna - shit. Joel. Joel. Jo-” Your voice breaks as you fall apart, clamping down on his cock.

Joel growls, something deep and feral from his being as he rocks into you harder. Watching as your eyes squeeze closed and your back arches. Your cry fills his ears as you cum around him. As soon as your body tenses for the last wave of pleasure, Joel is rearing up, breaking the hold your legs have on him to pull out of you and flip you back over. Wanting to fuck you from behind.

You scramble onto your hands and knees. Your back is arching as you still shake from your previous orgasm. “Fuck baby. I need - fuck me.” You plead, wiggling your ass.

It’s almost amusing how desperate you are for his cock, but he doesn’t chuckle or slap your ass. Just notching his cock and pushing back inside you with a groan of your name as he holds onto your hips.

“Shit. Oh fuck!” You cry out, fingers grabbing at the sheets as he fills you again, stretching you out even more in this position. “Joel!” You gasp, falling forward onto your elbows.

“That’s right.” Now he slaps your flank. “Told you I’d ride you hard.” He grunts, setting a harsh pace as your cunt squelches around him. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn tight, petty girl.”

He practically straddles you, his knees by yours as he bends you over so he can sink even deeper inside of you. “Fuckkkk.” Your voice rattles as he hammers into you. Your eyes close as you struggle to breathe under his weight but you love it.

He presses his weight into you, aware that you love it from the way you moan. He can’t help but hold you tight, pressing closer and his teeth scrape over your shoulder as he surrounds you.

You let him overtake your senses, letting him use your body however he wants. You moan his name loudly as he rams into you over and over. His cock punching your guts and your cries come out soundless as he wrecks your pussy.

Joel loses himself in you. Forgetting everything but the sound your cunt makes and the way it squeezes him. Growling as he feels himself get closer, knowing that you need to cum again before he finishes.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he adjusts his hips and hits a spot inside of you that makes your body shake. “Yessss right thereeee.” You hiss and he focuses on that spot, pushing against it time and time again until finally pushes you over the edge. Your cry is soundless as you cum, soaking him and your thighs shake.

Joel’s hand finds your hair, tangling into it as he yanks your head back. “That’s iiiiiiittttt.” He growls. “So good. Gonna cum, pussy’s too good.” He praises, pulling your head back more so he can kiss along your throat as his thrusts stutter. “Fuuuuuuuuck.” He groans your name and pushes deep, spilling into the condom and burying his face against your neck, relaxing his hold on your hair.

You pant as he presses his cheek against your neck, his hot breath fanning over your skin. You let him ride out his high, rocking back against him as he twitches inside of you. “Fuck. That was - " You can’t even finish the words and Joel smiles against your neck. “That’s - that’s what I needed.”

“Me too.” He groans, reaching back to hold the base of the condom as he pulls out of you. When he moves back, you kind of slither forward to lay on the pillows and he chuckles. “Now, pretty girl.” He groans slightly as he climbs off the bed. “Have you had anything to eat? Want some water? Or just a piss and some sleep?”

“Piss. Water. Food - if you have any - sleep. In that order.” You murmur, feeling boneless, “gonna take me a little to be able to move.” You admit, “you fucked my skeleton out of me.” You chuckle softly, enjoying the scent of him on the pillows.

He snorts as he pulls the condom off and ties it closed. Moving to the en-suite door, he shuffles inside and lifts the toilet seat. “Pisser’s in here.” He calls out as he pees. “When you can move. I’ll go make you some food and get you that water.” He flushes and comes back out, smirking as he walks over and presses his lips to yours. “Steak and eggs good?”

“Where have you been all my life?” You tease, groaning as you shift to sit up as he grabs his briefs from the floor. You watch him pull them on and he winks at you. You groan as you shuffle off of the bed, plucking his shirt from the floor before you practically waddle into his bathroom. It’s clean. No decor and only a few towels. Typical man. You pee and wash your hand, splashing your face while Joel heads downstairs.

He’s got the steaks cooking on the grill pan, over the gas flame and he pokes it with his finger before he moves to the fridge to get the eggs out. He practically lives off steak and eggs, the simple, yet delicious meal one that Ellie loves as well. He hears you start to move around upstairs and chuckles to himself as he pours you a glass of water.

You make your way downstairs on shaky legs, finding the kitchen and you swallow when you see Joel's back muscles moving as he cooks. "A girl could get used to this." You tease, walking over to press a kiss to his back, "thank you for taking such good care of me."

Joel snorts, turning around and grabbing your ass as you walk by. “Sit down before you fall down.” He smirks with pride, he nods towards a chair at the bar with a glass of water sitting in front of it. “Steak’s almost done. You like your eggs scrambled or fried?”

"Fried. Over easy." You tell him as you sit down on the chair, wincing slightly, and you pick up the water to take a sip. You should be recoiling from a man but Joel makes you feel safe. After what happened at the bar, you know he understands you and knows how to handle you. You watch him crack the eggs, "you cook a lot?"

“Have to if I want to eat.” Joel snorts, looking over his shoulder at you. “We had a housekeeper, a while back, but she got married to the Rawlings boy a couple of ranches over and is expecting a little one.” He explains as he slides the eggs around the pan. “Ellie burns water, so if we’re gonna eat, I’ve got to cook.”

You chuckle, “sounds like you know what you’re doing.” You down most of the water and watch as he serves up the eggs. You moan when he sets the plate down in front of you before he sits beside you. “Thank you.” You murmur, reaching for his hand to squeeze it before he picks up his fork.

“Think I should be saying that to you.” He hums, nodding to the food. “Now that we’ve pissed and had water, we are on to the food portion of Joel’s after fucking care.” He jokes. “Eat up.”

You giggle, picking up your knife and fork. You dig in and groan at the taste of the steak and perfectly cooked eggs. “Fuck, you are the whole package. Good lay. Good cook. Just need to see if you can kill a spider.” You nudge him playfully and he chuckles, “I even put the seat down.” You smile and he continues eating. You’re quiet but it’s comfortable, something you’re not used to. You used to be on edge when Josh was quiet, wondering when he’d say something bad.

You finish your water and Joel doesn’t say a word. Just getting up with a slight groan and going to refill it. You are happily digging into the food and he wonders if you had a chance to eat at all while you were at work. He brings it back over and nods when you thank him. Finishing up his own food quickly and moving to load the dishwasher with the dirty plates while you eat the last bites of your food.

“I can do that. You don’t have to do that. You cooked. Let me -” You scramble to grab your plate, rushing over to the dishwasher. “Go sit down. I can - let me do it.” You plead, reminded of the way Josh would demand you load the dishwasher before he finished eating. He didn’t want to finish his meal with a dirty kitchen so you’d have to get up to clean it before he finished his food. If you weren’t fast enough, he’d throw his plate at you. He never hit you but you’d be hit with shards of ceramic from it smashing. He would call you a lazy whore and you’d have to clean up the smashed dishes.

Joel frowns at the panicked tone to your voice and he takes the plate from you gently. “Don’t worry about this.” He grumbles. “Just gonna throw it in. The kid can unload it tomorrow.” His brows scrunch when you freeze in confusion. “You’re my guest, pretty girl. Only thing you need to do for me is hop your sweet ass back in my bed to sleep.” He cocks an eyebrow up. “Unless you’ve decided you want to go home?”

You shake your head, hands shaking slightly, “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t - he used to make me - I had to clean up before he finished eating. He liked a clean house and I- shit. I’m so sorry.” You shake your head, knowing how ridiculous it sounds. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Joel closes the dishwasher and turns around to face you, leaning back against the counter. “You’ve got shit in your past that affects you, so do I.” He shrugs like it’s nothing too serious. “Just let it out when you need to, you ain’t gonna bother me.”

You walk over to him, cupping his cheeks. “Thank you.” You murmur, leaning in to softly kiss him. “Thank you.” You caress his cheek and you drop your hands, feeling silly for your reaction. “You ready to sleep? I’m exhausted and you promised me a sunrise.” You tap his chest.

Joel grabs your hand and squeezes it. “Sleep sounds good.” It’s late and you need some sleep. He needs some sleep, although he’s accustomed to only a few hours. You smile shyly and he turns to lead you out of the kitchen. “You need me to carry you upstairs?”

You nod, “yeah. I don’t think I’m gonna make it. My legs are like jello.” You confess, “can you- I can make it.” You promise and he nods, reaching down to wrap his arm around your legs, his other arm around your waist. He grunts and he lifts you into his arms and you wrap your arms around his neck.

He chuckles again at the dazed and slightly romanticized look on your face as he hauls you up the stairs. “Just like out of one of those books, huh?” He jokes, smirking at you. “Gotta be willing to carry them after you fuck the life of ‘em.”

You can't believe he carried you up the stairs. He sets you down on his bed and pulls the covers over you. "Let me grab you another water and then it's sleep time, baby." He declares and you nod, covering the yawn that escapes your lips.

By the time he grabs the water and comes back up, you are already passed out. It’s kind of cute how you are curled up in the pillow and he sets the water on the nightstand beside you. Climbing into the bed beside you, he turns off the light and closes his eyes, aware that he will be awake in a couple of hours.

"Sweetheart. Wake up." You wince at the slight nudge to your shoulder. "Wanna see the sunrise?" A gruff voice asks you and you open your eyes to look at Joel. "Thought you were gonna wake me up with oral?" You tease, voice rough with sleep.

“Is that what the sunrise is to you?” Joel smirks slightly and shrugs. “If we do that, you’ll miss the sun coming up as you cum.” He teases back.

You groan and sit up, excited to see the sunrise with a handsome man. You rub your eyes and yawn, “I gotta pee.” You murmur, shifting out of bed and you shuffle into the bathroom. Your body aches from his harsh fucking last night but you love it.

Joel had already gotten up and dressed. Laying out a spare toothbrush for you to use. He throws out a heavier jacket than you had worn last night on the bed for you to wear, not wanting you to get cold when you are riding. “Going downstairs to make coffee.” He calls out.

You gurgle around the toothbrush and you wash your face. Redressing in your clothes and sneakers, shrugging on the heavier jacket, you make your way downstairs to where Joel sets a cup of coffee on the counter. “Not sure if you want cream or sugar. Or that oat milk shit.” He grunts and you chuckle, “just cream.” He nods and grabs the creamer for you.

While you take your first sip, Joel pulls out a thermos and pours the rest of the pot into it. Adding creamer for you since he will drink coffee any kind of way. “You ever ridden before?” He asks, unsure of your skill or id he should just drive the truck.

You chuckle, waggling your eyebrows, “depends on what I’m riding.” He raises his eyebrows, a serious look on your face, and you nod, “yeah. Back when I was a kid. I used to ride a lot on my friend’s horse when I’d visit her.”

He nods, happy that he can get the horses out. “I’ve got a sweet little mare that is itching for some exercise.” He tells you. “We’ll make breakfast over the fire at the ridge.”

You feel like you’re in a dream as Joel gathers the bags and you make your way to the stables, it’s dark out but Joel flicks on the lights and you gasp at the set up he has. “Oh they are gorgeous.” You coo as you walk over to a horse, holding your hand out so you don’t spook them.

There’s something about girls and horses. He smirks as he moves to the tack room and grabs a couple of saddles. It won’t take him long to get the horses saddled and on the way. He’s too used to this kind of work. Even if the boys in the bunkhouse aren’t up yet. He walks back and hears you giggle as the horse, the mare he had wanted you to ride, sniffs your hair and attempts to taste it. “She’s a nibbler.” He warns with a grin.

"Like her daddy." You giggle, winking at Joel before ducking your head away from the horse. "She's beautiful." You murmur, stroking her nose and she nuzzles into your hand. "You wanna ride, sweetheart?" You ask her and she grunts into your palm. "We are gonna see the sunrise, beautiful girl." You coo, enamored with the horse.

Joel saddles his own horse and then moves over to you and Sweet Pea. He tells you her name and rolls his eyes playfully when you coo even more at the sweet name. He ties the bags onto the saddle and pats her flank gently. “Ready to go?”

You nod and he grabs the reins of his horse, making his way out of the stable and into the night. The stars are still shining and you follow Joel's lead as you begin to make your way across his land to the hills in the distance. "It's so peaceful out here." You declare, enjoying the solitude with Joel by your side.

“It is.” Joel agrees. “I feel like I can start over here. Maybe not fuck up this time.” He steers you towards the mountain that he wants to show you and watches out for holes or snakes. “Do right by the kid. Give her a fucking future.”

You smile softly, "you seem to really care about the people you love. You're protective. I understand...after everything. You're a good man, Joel. Even if you don't think so." You know his type, brooding and self loathing but he's shown you nothing but kindness.

“You’ve never seen me at my worst.” He reminds you, aware that the violent, brutal side of him could quickly change your mind on his goodness. A rabbit darts out from a burrow and he instinctively reaches for your horse's bridle as he tries to calm the slightly spooked horses. “Easy, easy there.” He grunts out, happy when they just side step nervously and then settle back down. “Good girl, good boy.” He soothes, patting them on the necks.

Your heart flutters at the way he handles the horses and you continue on your journey, the sky starting to lighten but no sunrise just yet. "Everyone has a bad side. It's about how we handle our demons. You have been nothing but kind to me." You shrug and the cool morning air hits your face.

He admires your positivity, despite the abuse from your ex. You are good to the very marrow of your bones. Ellie would like you. “Demons.” He grunts, “well, most of the time, I just shoot ‘em.” He guides you further onto his property, up the mountain to the little ridge he loves to watch the sunrise from. “Here we are.”

You gasp at the sight in front of you. The sky is brightening up and you see the mountains in the distance. “Wow.” You murmur, staring at the beauty in front of you. Joel dismounts and guides his horse over to the tree to tie him up, patting his side before he comes over to help you off of your horse. “It’s gorgeous.” You murmur when he helps you down and takes the reins.

“It’s my favorite place.” Joel confesses, motioning to the flat rock where he likes to sit. “I’ll get the coffee, and we can sit.” He tosses you a blanket to spread over the cold rock.

You spread the blanket out on the ground and settle down, watching him grab the bags from the saddle and carry them over. You eagerly take the flask of coffee and the two plastic mugs, pouring the hot liquid into them.

“After the sun comes up, I’ll make a fire and we’ll cook some breakfast.” Joel promises. “Bacon, eggs and toast sound good?” He smirks and holds up a can of beans. “Or are you a beans on toast kind of gal?” He tosses the can up and shrugs when he catches it. “It’s actually pretty good.”

“No beans.” You snort, taking a sip of your coffee. 

The steaming cup of coffee warms his hand and adds to the beauty of the moment. watching as the pink hues break and the bright sun flashes over the horizon and bathes the valley below in sunlight."Beautiful." Joel whispers softly.

You are silent, just taking in the sunrise and it takes your breath away. When the sun is above the horizon, you lift your cheek from his shoulder and turn to look at him. “Thank you for showing me this. When I - before I escaped, I thought I was destined to die at the hands of my husband - physically or mentally. I never imagined I’d be safe and watching the sunrise. Thank you for bringing me out here.”

"This is a place for new beginnings." He murmurs softly. "Never thought I would get one, but I know you damn sure deserve one." He looks into your eyes seriously. "You'll be safe here. No matter what."

You know he isn’t one for gushing gratitudes so you simply nod and lean in to kiss his cheek. You watch the sky for another few moments before he starts to set up the fire for breakfast. “Where did you learn all of this?” You ask, knowing you wouldn’t have a clue how to start a fire. “My Pa. Taught me and Tommy when we were kids. Used to go camping in the middle of nowhere in Texas.” He confesses, “he taught us how to survive. Figured the world was gonna end one day and we’d all have to fight for our lives.” He snorts at the memory of his father. You hum, “like a zombie apocalypse?” You ask and Joel snorts, “yeah.”

"After Tommy got out of the Army....he helped me for a while. We were contractors. Built houses and shopping malls." It seems like Joel is talking about another life. He is talking about another man. Life had been so simple back then. "Then...after Sarah....Tommy moved out west and when I- I couldn't stay anymore, I followed him. Came out here, started over."

You watch him as he prepares the breakfast, “at least you came out here. Started over. Some people…they wouldn’t survive what you went through.” You tell him and he sighs, “some days it doesn’t feel like it.” You understand that. “But you’re still here. And it takes time.” You tell him and he tuts, “wasn’t time. It was Ellie.” Your heart melts at that and you watch him place the bacon on the now hot pan. “And she’s lucky to have you.”

He doubts that, but he won't let her down. He pokes at the bacon and looks around the valley, the sun clearing the horizon. "Well, she's got me." He snorts, smirking slightly. "Sometimes she hates it. Says I'm too parentified. whatever that means."

You giggle, “maybe you need to loosen up a little. She’s a teenager, right? Just need to let her have a drink now and then and let her date someone stupid.” You tell him, “I know. I was a teenage girl.”

"She tries whiskey every time I drink some at home." Joel glances back over at you and grins. "Hates it every time." HIs grin widens when you laugh and he shrugs. "Hasn't seemed interested in anyone yet."

You shrug, "maybe she will, maybe she won't. You'll be a good father to her whatever happens." You can tell he's a strong character, strong in his resolve to be better. "You just gotta let her make some mistakes. Lord knows my parents let me fuck up...but they would've said no to Josh." You murmur, frowning at the realization that he was never the man you thought he was.

“Everyone needs to make mistakes, although I know she’s going to be making all new ones.” He hums, smirking slightly at the headstrong girl and her convictions. He looks back at the bacon and he frowns slightly. “Did your parents….are they gone?” He asks, understanding that they must be. 

You nod, “car accident. I was in college when I got the call. Some asshole drunk driver. I - they never got to see me graduate. I barely did. Got lost in the booze and partying to deal with my grief.” You confess, “nearly fucked everything up but they left me their house in the will. Josh made me sell it. Used half of the money for a down payment on our house and he - he spent the rest of the money. Gambling. He was - I was scared and alone and grieving. I just wanted to belong somewhere and he took advantage.”

Joel frowns, jaw clenched at the idea of you being taken advantage of while you were so vulnerable. While you were trapped in your grief. “Maybe you can find a new home. A new life where you don’t have to worry about being taken advantage of.” He offers quietly. “A life your parents would be proud of. One that you are happy in.” 

“That’s why I left. Why I moved here. I can’t touch the account. He’d be able to find me. I need time to figure out what to do next but one day…I’m hoping I find a home. A place I can relax and be happy in.” You confess, watching Joel serve up the food after he fried the eggs.

“You think he will come looking for you here?” Joel asks, sitting down beside you after handing you one of the tin plates the hands take on the trail. “Since your aunt is here? Would he remember?”

You shake your head, “she met him once, when we got married. He didn’t really know about her. Kinda cut me off from her after we got married. Said I was his new family.” You sigh and shake your head, knowing you made mistakes. “I hope he doesn’t find me. I never told him where she was. I - shit - I have been so careful to not let him know where I am.”

“Well, you can get close to her now, repair that relationship.” He points out. “Abusers like to isolate their victims. Make them feel like they have nowhere to turn, no one to talk to about what they are doing.” He’s seen it before.

“I know that now. In the beginning, he made me feel so special. I felt so stupid for believing him. I didn’t - shit. I got away from him and I want to start again. I want to live and not feel like I am constantly triggered by my asshole ex.” You shake your head and take the mess tin from his hand when he offers it to you.

“Look at you, talking shit out.” Joel teases softly, picking up the thermos to refill your coffees. “After fucking it out. You’re on the road to recovery.” He chuckles when you snort and roll your eyes, taking the cup back from him. “Shut up.” You huff and he nods. “When you eat your breakfast.”

You dig into the food, the sun making everything shimmer and it’s like the ushering in of your new life. “Thank you.” You say to him again and he shakes his head, “stop sayin’ thanks.” You chuckle and he winks at you, taking a bite of his eggs. 

**** 

“Thank-” Joel cuts you off with a stare and you close your mouth. You shift over in the cab of his truck, parked outside of the bar where your apartment is, and you reach up to cup his cheek. “If I can’t say it…” You trail off and lean in to kiss him. He cups your cheek, kissing you back, and you pull back after a moment, a smile on your face. “I had a good time. I’ll see you around hopefully?” You ask, tilting your head.

Nodding, Joel leans back. “Of course.” He smirks. “Coldest beer in town is served right under your apartment.” He teases. “And if I’m not showin’ up quick enough, you come out to the ranch. Even if I’m out, one of the boys can find me.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you in the bar.” You smirk and grab your purse to pull your keys out, realizing that you don’t want to wait too long to see Joel again. “Do you maybe want to come for dinner? I’m not working tomorrow night and I need to repay you for being so great.”

“You don’t need to repay me for anything.” Joel huffs. “But dinner sounds good.” He agrees. “Seven sound good?” He figures everyone will be done with the fence lines then and he’s not moving cattle between pastures. Only thing he was thinking about doing was going to an auction to see about some sheep.

You smile, “see you tomorrow at seven, handsome.” You get out of his truck and shut the door, walking up to the door that leads to the apartment above the bar. You turn to see him watching you and you offer him a small wave before unlocking the apartment and disappearing upstairs.

Joel sits in his truck for another minute, ignoring the few cowboys that are milling around in the parking lot before he puts the truck in reverse and backs out. He needs to go talk to Tommy, because he has a feeling that your ex will show up. You’re too good to let go of that easily.

You shower and change, getting ready for the rest of the day. You decide to head out and get some groceries for dinner tomorrow night. You do some laundry and sleep the day away, exhausted after Joel fucking you hard, until you open the bar for the night. It's an uneventful night but Jerry seems to treat you with kid gloves as you serve the locals. The next morning, you are excited to see Joel again and you head downstairs to the bar to clean up and take the cash to the bank. You're mopping the floor when you hear the door open. You could've sworn you locked it. "Hey. We’re closed!" You call out and turn when you don't hear the door close again. 

"I think you can make an exception for me, honey." You inhale sharply, spinning around to see Josh. "What - how - you're-?" You choke, heart pounding in your chest as your ex husband stands in front of you. He's found you. You shake your head, dropping the mop, and you run towards the bar to get the phone. 

"Ah ah ah. I don't think so. We need to talk." Josh rushes towards you, grabbing your arm, and you cry out. Shouting for help as he tries to physically restrain you. You fight, slapping and scratching him, but he jerks your body. "You stupid bitch. Thought you could run away. You will never be rid of me." He hisses and you scream, spinning around to hit him but he side steps and you fall forward, hitting your head on the bar. You crumble to the floor and your head pounds as Josh stands above you. "You are mine, baby." He reminds you and you wince as your eyes close, wondering what will happen to you now.

It’s not yet seven, but Joel had finished up early and decided that he could stop by and get a bottle of wine to bring, like he had good manners. He had thought that if you were too tired to cook after working, there’s a dinner that has a good meal. Or you order a pizza and call it good. He’s not that picky. Parking around back, he frowns slightly when he notices a van but he doesn’t think twice as he gets out and climbs up the stairs to your apartment to knock.

Your head lolls, pounding from the way you hit the edge of the bar, and you barely register that you have been tied to a chair. A rag wrapped around your head and covering your mouth to stop you from screaming. Your eyes widen when you gain more consciousness when the doorbell rings and you scream against the gag. "Don't be rude, honey. I bet that your auntie coming to say hello. Interfering old cunt will get what's coming to her. She should learn it is wrong to come between a man and his wife. Fucking old hag trying to take you away from me." Josh huffs, walking over to the door to open it and he is shocked when he sees a man, not your dear old aunt.

Joel’s eyes narrow and he tilts his head as he says your aunt’s name. “She’s not here, is she?” He asks, holding up the bottle of wine. “Told her I’d bring her a bottle the next time I was in town.” He’s got a good fucking idea who this bastard is, but he can’t give it away right now. Josh scoffs. “She’s not here.” He rolls his eyes and Joel nods, seeing a leg of a chair and a leg tied to it. He smiles blandly. “Well, I’ll try again next time.” He tells Josh. “Sorry to bother you.” He tips his hat and feigns turning to leave as the bastard closes the door.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you hear Joel leave. Part of you is relieved that he’s not involved in this, the other part feels hopeless as the only person who could save you leaves you. You sob against the gag and Josh comes over to you. “You must think I’m fucking stupid.” Josh hisses, “some guy comes to the apartment with wine and asks for your aunt? Seems too fucking suspicious. He was looking for you, wasn’t he? Goddamn. I turn my back for a minute and you’re already sitting on some other guy's dick. Jesus Christ. I married a whore. A useless fucking whore.” He strides over to you and slaps your cheek, making you gasp against the gag in pain.

Joel stomps down the steps noisily but then he’s creeping back up, trying to look in the window when he hears you cry out and a dark hiss. “I should just fucking kill you, you useless slut. We’re married!” You cry out, the sound muffled, as he hears a sharp slap. Joel clenches his jaw, knowing that he should call the Sheriff, but he would rather deal with this fucker himself. Lowering his shoulder, Joel slams it against the door, breaking through it and launching himself at your estranged husband.

Your eyes widen, full of tears as Joel drags your husband down to the floor. His fists immediately hitting his face and Josh kicks him to try and get him off. “You motherfucker!” Josh growls, “fucked my wife and-” Joel hits his jaw and he cries out in pain.

Joel sees red, looking up and seeing your panicked eyes, the swelling on your face. He climbs on top of Josh and pulls his fist back. Slamming it into the fucker’s nose to break it and from there, it’s just hit after hit. Blow after blow as Joel beat him unconscious.

You can't do anything but watch. Eyes wide as you witness Joel beat your husband to unconsciousness. You cry out against the gag, not wanting Joel to be arrested for killing your husband. He doesn't deserve a prison sentence when he has Ellie.

When you cry out again, you break through the rage fueled haze that Joel is in. Stopping before the last blow is delivered and he pants, dropping Josh back to the floor where he was holding him up by his shirt. The man’s head hits with a thud and he climbs off of him to pull out a knife. “I’m going to cut you out of there.” He promises, not wanting to spook you after you’ve obviously been tormented by your ex. “I’m going to get you out of here, pretty girl.”

You are breathing heavily as he cuts your ties and removes your gag. You swallow, your throat dry, and he helps you stand on shaky legs but you collapse, the fear draining your strength. “I got you.” Joel promises, wrapping his arm around your waist to help you stand up. “I- he - shit.” You finally choke out, “he found me.”

“It’s okay.” Joel promises you. “He’s not gonna hurt you ever again.” You choke out another sound, almost like you don’t believe him but Joel doesn’t say anything. Instead, he helps you towards the door. “Come on, pretty girl, we need to get you out of here.”

You let him guide you down the stairs on your shaky legs and you are struggling to breathe when the cool night air hits your face. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. It’s me. It’s Joel. Just breathe.” He orders, cupping your cheeks, and you inhale deeply, trying to calm down.

Joel can see that you are trying not to break and he scoops you up, carrying you over to his truck. He opens the door and sets you in the seat. Pulling out his phone, he dials a number. “Tommy.” He grunts when the other end picks up. “Get the boys from my ranch and meet me at the bar.” He tells him. “We’ve got a critter needs disposed of.”

Your hands are shaking as you listen to Joel summon his brother and you aren't sure what to think. Josh threatened to kill you, Joel saved you and nearly beat Josh to death. "Are you - are you going to kill him?" You ask, "he's not worth jail time. I'm not worth jail time."

“Don’t worry about that.” Joel doesn’t want you to worry. He reaches out and cups your cheek. “Listen to me.” He tells you carefully. “He will never bother you again. Ever. You don’t have to look over your shoulder, you don’t have to be scared. You will never see him again.”

You nod, swallowing harshly as he settles you in his truck. "You - shit - you saved me." You murmur, surging forward to wrap your arms around his neck and breathe him in. "You saved me. He - he was gonna kill me."

“It’s okay, pretty girl.” Joel promises, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing gently. “You don’t have to worry any more.”

You breathe him in and relax knowing he's got you. "Your hands." You murmur, bringing his arm from around you so you can inspect the broken skin. "You need to bandage these." You realize that this is what he means by his demons, his method of coping. You want to take care of him like he took care of you.

“It’s okay.” He winces when you press on a knuckle, sure that he’s fractured it. But it’s only a hairline fracture. “I’ll take care of it later.” He’s more worried about you. “Do you need a doctor, pretty girl?”

You shake your head, "no. No. I- he didn't do anything more than bruise me. I'll heal." You promise and Joel nods, "I'll bring you back to my place after my brother arrives." He tells you and you nod, "okay. I- I just want to get away from him."

Joel knows that it won’t take long for Tommy to get there and he pulls out a blanket from the back. It’s an old horse blanket but it’s clean. Draping it over your legs, he pats your knee and sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

You shake your head, "you saved me. If you hadn't - I don't know what he would've done. He wanted to take me home and I think...he would've killed me." You choke, "you arrived just in time."

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” He promises, knowing he would have tracked that motherfucker down. He pulls back when he hears the truck pull up and turns to see Tommy jump out. “Let me go talk to my brother.” He murmurs softly.

You inhale deeply, trying to calm your racing heart. You watch in the wing mirror as Joel speaks to his brother. "What the fuck happened, man?" Tommy asks, seeing the state of his brother's fists.

Joel glances down at his hand and shakes his head. “Her ex found her.” He gestures back towards the truck. “He had her tied up in her apartment. I busted in.” He explains. “He’s unconscious upstairs.”

"You want me to - to get rid of him?" Tommy asks, tilting his head. "Don't - I mean, I nearly fucking killed him but she stopped me. Just get him the fuck out of here. Maybe drop him off at a hospital in Denver?" Joel suggests and Tommy snorts, "away from here. Got it." He nods, whistling to the boys to follow him upstairs. You look up as Joel gets into his truck, starting the engine. "Thank you, baby." You murmur, watching him as he pulls away from the bar.

“They’re going to make sure he knows to never come near you again.” Joel explains. “Next time he comes to Jackson, he will be a dead man walking.” If the man ever showed his face again, Joel would personally put a bullet in his head. “For now, I’m taking you home. You’re staying with me.”

You look out the window as Jackson passes by, the town turning to fields and you try to think about how Joel saved you, not about what he saved you from. When he pulls up outside of his house, you open the door but he's already there to help you out.

“Here we are.” You are shaking slightly and he knows that you are about to freak out. “Get inside and we’ll have a drink. Or three.” He moves you gently and speaks softly. “Get you cleaned up. You want to soak in a bath? Damn tub is good for when you’re sore.”

"A bath sounds amazing." You confess with a soft groan. He escorts you inside and when he shuts the door, you break down. Now that you're safe, you start to sob and wrap your arms around yourself.

Joel panics slightly, shuffling slightly and moving towards you before he stops. “I- I don’t know what you want me to do. Can I touch you?” He asks softly.

You nod, knowing he isn’t Josh. The fact that he asked about touching you makes you calm down a little and his arms immediately engulf you. You nuzzle your face into his chest, breathing him in. He saved you. He’s not Josh. He saved you. This is Joel.

Joel reaches up, caressing your head gently. He doesn’t speak, just holds you close and rocks you gently. Letting you break down like you need to, just keeping you safe while you work through your emotions.

You aren’t sure how long you sob into his chest. His hands caressing your back, and you soak his shirt. “I’m sorry, I - shit. I need - I don’t want to cry about that fucking asshole anymore.” You shake your head, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand.

“You needed to get it out.” Joel grumbles softly. “Now how about that drink and bath?” You nod, sniffling and he nods too. “I’ll get you the drink.”

“As long as you get in the bath with me. You need to soak those fists.” You say and lean in to kiss his cheek, “come sit in the bath with me, baby.” You order, wanting to feel him surrounding you.

“Go start it.” Joel smirks, looking at you softly. “I’ll bring the drinks. We can have a drink in the bath. You relax and then I’ll put you to bed.”

You don’t waste time heading to his bathroom and turning on the water. You are exhausted now after everything that has happened and you pray that Josh will no longer be a problem. You want to file for divorce as soon as possible. Finding the bubble bath shoved deep in the cabinet under the sink, you pour a good amount in and start to strip, ignoring your face in the mirror. You don’t want to see what he did to you.

Joel decides that the night calls for full drinks, getting the juice glasses out of the kitchen and pouring out most of the bottle of whiskey between them. Carrying them upstairs and watching as you sit in the tub. “Here.” He holds one out to you. “Best sleep med I’ve got.”

You take the glass from him, sipping the liquor and you wince at the burn while he sets his drink down and starts to strip. “You wanna get in behind me?” You ask, shifting forward to allow him the room to get in the bath.

Joel grabs two towels and drops them by the tub before he steps in. Hissing slightly at how hot the water is. Apparently you wanted to sit for some time, so he cups his cock and balls before he sits down, needing to protect them from the sudden temperature change. “You like it hot.” He huffs and he settles down and pulls you back against him.

"I do. Sorry." You murmur as you lean back against him, sipping your drink before you set it down on the edge of the tub. You close your eyes as his arm wraps around you. "I can't thank you enough for this. For everything."

“I was going to kill him.” Joel admits quietly. “For hurting you. For fucking touching you.” His arm is draped over your stomach and his thumb brushes your hip gently. “Already alerted the sheriff that I would.” He chuckles quietly. “He told me to just make sure a bear found him before anybody else.”

"Sounds like a good sheriff." You chuckle before you swallow, "you were going to kill him for me? Baby...I- I've never known a man like you. I know we just met but I really like you, Joel. I want to stay in Jackson and I want to get to know you more. Know Ellie. I - I like you a lot." You confess, "I am damaged goods so I'm not sure if you want to deal with all that shit."

“You aren’t any more damaged than me. Than the kid.” Joel snorts. “You stay right here and get to know us. See if we don’t drive you crazy in two days.” He teases. “I’ve got plenty of shit that I’ve dealt with, helping a pretty girl cum and giving her a shoulder to lean on ain’t much of a problem to me.”

You grin, turning your head to kiss his jaw, “thank you. I would love to get to know you both. I want to stick around and make a life here.” You murmur and he turns his head, softly kissing you. “And I wouldn’t mind you making me cum a few more times.”

He hums against your lips, twitching against your back but he doesn’t start touching you. He wants to make sure you are in control of what happens right now. “You just tell me when, pretty girl.”

“Now.” You murmur, wanting to feel him inside of you. You want to make him feel good and you want to know that you’re safe in his arms. His lips meet yours, spurred in by the adrenaline of beating up your husband, and you shift to straddle him after setting your drink down on the ledge.

Joel would never take advantage of you, but he will give you what you need. Squeezing your ass as you grind down against him, “you want to cum, pretty girl?” He asks roughly, kissing down your jaw and pressing his tongue to an abrasion on your neck.

You moan, tilting your head for him, and you reach between you to grip his cock, pumping him between your bellies. “I’m on birth control. IUD. Want you to - want you inside of me. If you want.” You tell him breathlessly, moaning his name as he squeezes your ass.

“Fuuuuck.” Joel groans out, jerking his hips up in your grip. “I don’t mind that.” He murmurs, flicking his tongue against your pulse. “‘m clean. You just take what you want. Sit on my cock if you want it.”

You reach down to position him at your entrance, you slowly sink down onto him and he groans, his hands caressing your waist and back. “Fuck. You feel so good.” You pant, “saved me. Saved my life.” You murmur, starting to rock on top of him.

Joel groans, squeezes and caresses your ass and up your back as you work yourself on his cock. “You’re safe.” He grunts. “Not gonna let anything happen to you.” He doesn’t know why, but he’s attached to you, protective. Perhaps it’s crazy, but he would have killed for you.

His words wash over you, making your heart thump, and you caress his cheeks, leaning in to kiss him. It's crazy but you feel so comfortable and safe with him, like you've known him your entire life. He feels like home. "Baby." You gasp when he thrusts up into you, the water sloshing in the tub.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.” Joel tightens his hold on you, not hard enough to hurt you but to take over. He takes one arm and slides it down to rub your clit. “You want to cum? You want to cream all over my cock? Feel like you are flying?” He grunts into your skin, face buried against your neck.

You nod, a cry escaping your throat as he rubs your clit, thrusting up into you. “Fuck, Joel. Yes. Yes. Right there.” You choke when he thrusts into the right spot. His hips focus on that angle, making you choke as he pushes you higher and higher until you fall apart with a squeal of his name. The water splashing on the floor as you convulse around him.

Joel groans your name, kissing your neck and along your shoulder as you ride out your high. Slowly rolling his hips as the water settles around you both. “Good, pretty girl?” He asks, smirking slightly when he hears you still panting. “Or you need another one?”

You tangle your fingers in his hair, dragging his face to yours to press your lips against his. Your tongue invades his mouth and he eagerly responds to your invasion, groaning softly. “I want one more. I’m greedy for you.” You confess, rocking down into him.

“Haven’t cum yet.” Joel leans back, cupping your tits in his hands as he squeezes them gently. “Use me, pretty girl.” He commands. “Ride my cock and rub your clit.”

You can’t deny him. You shift back to rock onto his cock, water sloshing as you gasp his name and rub your clit, rocking back onto him a little faster. His dark eyes watch you, flicking between your tits and where his cock disappears inside of you.

“That’s it.” He groans, twitching inside of you. “That’s it, pretty girl. You’re so good to me. Feel so good around my cock.” He praises. “He was a fool,” he grunts, squeezing your tits again. “Shoulda worshiped you. Taken care of you. You’re a prize to appreciate.”

His words wash over you, cleaning off the harsh insults of your husband and replaced by his praises. You clench around him and he groans, leaning in to kiss along your shoulder, and you rub your clit a little faster, wanting to fall apart for him.

Joel groans and hisses your name, feeling his own body start to tense, but he doesn’t want to cum yet. Not before you do again. “So fuckin’ tight.” He moans.

His moan works you up, making you bounce on his cock and the water splashes over the side of the tub. “Fuck. Oh fuck, baby. I’m gonna - you’re gonna make me-” You squeal as you fall apart around his cock, soaking him as you shudder through your orgasm.

Joel doesn’t let up this time, taking over and thrusting up into you. Groaning out your name as he starts to cum, hips stuttering as he gives in and buries himself deep. Painting your walls with hot ropes of his cum.

You whimper at the feel of his hot seed coating your walls and you tangle your fingers in his hair, bringing his mouth back to yours. You’re so thankful he saved you. In more ways than you know right now. He saved you from your husband and he saved you from yourself. 

**** 

“Ellie. Keep up!” Joel yells over his shoulder at the teenager who decides to join you for your sunset ride. After Joel beat your husband up, he brought you home and after you were settled, he left to the place your husband was being kept. You don’t know to this day what he said to Josh but the next thing you knew, your divorce papers were filed. You managed to live in peace in Jackson, getting to know Joel more, getting to know his family. You’ve fallen for the rancher and you moved into his home a month ago, your aunt telling you to go for it. You were wary at first to take such a big step but you are happy you did. You love Joel and Ellie. Your family. The divorce came through last week, so you're officially a single woman. 

“She’s fine. She won’t miss it.” You tell Joel as you ride alongside him, trotting down to the river to watch the sunrise and have breakfast.

Joel grunts, shifting in his saddle and glances back at the girl before looking at you again. “She’s a pain in the ass.” He huffs, making you laugh. 

“You always say that.” You point out, making him roll his eyes. He’s been looking forward to this for a while. You have been happier, brighter, since the divorce came through. Happy that you can fully move on with your life and not be tied to him in any kind of way. Joel looks over at you with a small smirk. “Still sore, pretty girl?” He asks, thinking about how hard he had fucked you last night.

You chuckle, “nothing I can’t handle, cowboy.” You wink at him, “gotta be able to take what you give me.” You shift on the saddle, loving the slight ache in your body. He makes you feel loved, desired, even if he doesn’t say it often, you know how he feels.

“Good.” Hopefully you mean that. Since you’ve been here in his life, Joel’s been happier. Smiling more. Looking forward to the time where he’s back at the main house and spending time with you and Ellie. Not that he hasn’t enjoyed time with Ellie before, but the three of you feel like a family. He urges his horse faster. “Come on, or we are going to miss it. It’s a special sunrise.”

You follow him, Ellie behind you, and you arrive at the river just as the sun is about to appear over the horizon. Joel dismounts his horse, helping you down and then he helps Ellie down, tying up the horses. You grab the saddle bags and carry them over to the edge of the river to the rocks you usually sit on. Joel comes to sit next to you, opening the saddle bag to pull out the flask of coffee, handing it to you and he hands Ellie her flask of juice. She hates coffee. “I never get tired of this.” You murmur, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Hope not.” Ellie knows what’s coming, he’s talked to her about it. Enduring her teasing and jokes even more than usual in order to make sure that she’s okay with the potential change. Joel sets his hand down on your free one and threads his thick fingers through yours. “Hopin’ you might want to stay.” He confesses quietly and pulls out a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. He had felt like a fool going into the jewelry store, but Willie’s wife had told him that you would love it. “Forever. Watch the sun rise with me until we are too damn old to get up here.” You pull away and look into his eyes in complete shock. “Love you, pretty girl. Will you marry me?”

Your heart pounds in your chest and you swallow harshly, throat suddenly dry but fuck, you are so in love with him. He's proven to be an incredible partner. Treating you as an equal, both of you damaged but understanding of the other. You feel like you're home when you're with him. No matter where you are. "Ye-yes. Yes. Oh my God. Yes." You choke, surging forward to press your lips to his just as the sun rises. His hand cups your cheek until he pulls back, fumbling with his thick fingers to take the delicate ring from the box.

"I hope you like it. Didn't know your style." He confesses as he slides it onto your finger and you stare at the diamond in awe. "It's perfect. This is perfect." You promise and Ellie comes over to hug you, "just make sure you guys don't put me in some frilly dress for the wedding." Ellie jokes and you giggle, tears in your eyes as you pull her close and Joel wraps his arms around you both. Your new family. You never imagined when you were trapped in a loveless marriage that you'd be happy one day yet here you are, engaged to a wonderful man with a step daughter you adore. Just like the sun rising over the horizon, your life is bright and colorful and full of hope.

[scoutofmymind]

Momma I request a prompt inspired by a song of your choosing (: I L Y

Couldn’t Make It Any Harder — { Luigi x Reader }

Content: mental health issues, mentions of past trauma, TorturedArtist!Reader, Empath!Luigi, Luigi says “go birds” after flipping off a woman, confused feelings, situationship, reader is just Very Confused in general, angst, eventual romance.

Wc: 5,107

I couldn't make it

Any harder to love me

Oh, one day, believe me

You’ll want someone who makes it easy

This has been floating around in my asks for awhile, and I wasn’t feeling practically inspired by any songs lately until Sabrina released Couldn’t Make It Any Harder and I couldn’t stop thinking about writing it.

This work was done quickly between my other ongoing Luigi projects, so I apologize for any inconsistencies or skipped backstory (you know I’m a backstory bitch) but I simply needed to get this out of my system, and remembered that an anon had asked me to write something based off of a song quite awhile ago!

Also, how could I leave you hanging on Valentine’s Day? Even if I’m posting this at 2 AM….

It's 8:30 AM at your usual coffee spot — that tiny café two blocks from Luigi's apartment where the barista always draws terrible attempts at latte art, and you’re still wearing yesterday's mascara, not because you've been crying, but because you spent the night in your studio, channeling your frustration into a new piece that's all sharp edges and bold strokes.

"I mean, we had a great time!" You're gesturing with your coffee cup, nearly spilling it. "We went to that new gallery opening, and he actually understood my rant about contemporary minimalism. Then dinner, drinks, great conversation — and now? Radio silence. Three days of nothing."

Luigi, sitting across from you, is trying not to smile at how animated you are, his laptop open beside him — he's probably got a Slack channel blowing up with messages from his dev team, but he rushed to meet you for this emergency coffee session, anyway.

The startup's dress code might be casual, but he always manages to look put-together in that effortless way that makes other tech bros look like they're not trying hard enough.

"Maybe I'm just-“ you pause, stirring your coffee aggressively, "too much, you know? Too loud, too passionate, too-"

"Stop," Luigi cuts in, closing his laptop and fixing his gaze on you again, "You're not too anything. You're exactly enough. So don’t even go there with me.” He massages his temples, “Too early for it.”

"I know that," you say firmly, because you do. "That's the thing — I like who I am. I like that I can talk about art for hours. I like that I get excited about things. I like that I feel everything so intensely. I'm not going to make myself smaller just because some guy can't handle it."

"Then don't," Luigi says, and there's something in his voice that makes you look up from the foam disappearing from your cappuccino. "The right person won't want you to."

"Exactly! And you know what? If Jake can't handle a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to say it-“ you trail off, reaching for your sketchbook. You start absent-mindedly drawing on a corner of the page.

“Ugh,” Luigi’s face screws in mock disgust, “His name was Jake?”

Putting down your pen, you lean back in your chair with a frustrated sigh. "But then again, if I'm so great, why does this keep happening? Three first dates in two months, Lu. Three. And they all end the same way."

"You mean with guys who can't handle someone who actually has opinions?" Luigi takes a sip of his coffee, his fingers tapping absently on his closed laptop. A notification buzzes on his phone — probably his team wondering where he is — but he doesn't even glance at it.

"No, see, that's just it," you lean forward, your hands moving expressively as you talk. "They love it at first. They think it's so fascinating and refreshing that I'm 'not like other girls', or whatever." You roll your eyes at the phrase, hating the taste of the words in your mouth. "But then it's like they realize I'm actually serious. That I'm not just putting on some manic pixie dream girl act for their entertainment."

Luigi's mouth quirks up at one corner. "Heaven forbid you be a real person with actual thoughts and feelings."

"Right? And I know — I know I'm not too much," you say, but your voice wavers slightly. You start fidgeting with your rings, a habit Luigi's seen a thousand times when you're wrestling with something in your head. "But sometimes I wonder if-"

"If what?"

"If maybe I should just- you know.. tone it down? Just a little? Just at first?" The words sound wrong coming out of your mouth, and you can see from Luigi's expression that he knows it, too. "No, you're right, forget I said that. That's stupid."

"It is stupid," he agrees, but gently. His eyes catch yours across the table again, his gaze steady and genuine. "Remember that installation you did last month? The one about authenticity?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you tell that bag of bones professor who said it was 'overwhelmingly honest'?"

A smile starts to spread across your face. "I told him that was the whole damn point."

"Exactly." Luigi checks his watch and starts gathering his things — he's definitely late now. "So maybe the problem isn't that you're too overwhelming,” he pats the top of your head, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “maybe they're just underwhelming."

•

You're standing in front of your last piece, forcing a smile that feels like it's splitting your face in half, as another guest explains to you what your own art means.

Behind you, you can hear snippets of conversations that make your skin crawl.

It's a bit... aggressive, isn't it?

Not quite gallery standard... these nepo kids..

Experimental, but perhaps too experimental..

Your hands are shaking, so you clasp them behind your back. You've been doing this grim waltz for two hours — nodding, smiling, explaining yourself over and over to people who look through you rather than at you, and the gallery owner keeps shooting you these looks, these little disappointed glances that make you feel about two inches tall.

You catch Luigi's eye across the room.

He's been watching, you realize, while pretending to be deeply invested in a conversation with some tech entrepreneur who probably thinks art is a good investment opportunity, and he tilts his head slightly — a question.

You shake yours — you’re not okay.

"The brushstrokes here," the current patron is saying, pointing at your most vulnerable piece, "they're rather — well, chaotic. Unorganized. Muddy. It’s strange to see. Was that intentional?"

Something inside you splinters.

"Excuse me," you manage, your voice surprisingly steady for how the room is tunneling, how your fingers begin to tingle, how your lungs have lost the ability to draw in a full breath. "I need some air."

You make it through the gallery, past the whispers and the stares, past the owner who starts to say something about maintaining appearances, past the front desk and around the corner to the back alley.

Then your legs give out.

You're gasping, trying to remember how breathing works, your back against the cold brick wall. The dress — that stupid yellow dress that Luigi said was his favorite — feels too tight. Everything feels too tight.

You tear at your collar, needing air, needing space, needing- "Hey." Luigi's voice, close but not too close. "I'm here."

"I can't-" you choke out. "I can't breathe, I can't-"

"Yes, you can." He moves slowly into your space, hands hovering but not touching. "Look at me. Just look at me. I’m right here. It’s all good.”

You shake your head violently, sliding down the wall. "They're right. They're all right. I'm not- this- This isn't-" Each word feels like it's being ripped from your throat, bloody and raw and dishonest and horrific. They aren’t right. You know they aren’t.

"Bullshit." The sharpness in his voice makes you look up. He's crouched in front of you now, his tie completely undone, his eyes fierce. "They're not right. They're not even close to right. They're looking at fireworks and complaining about the noise. Old fuckin’ bunch’a assholes.”

A sob catches in your throat, half laugh, half cry. "That's a terrible metaphor."

"Made you look at me, though." His voice softens, his hands resting on your clammy shoulders. "Breathe with me, okay? Just breathe."

You try to match his exaggerated breathing, your hands still shaking. "I put everything into this show," you whisper after your second deep breath. "Everything."

"I know."

"And they just- they- they just-“

"I know." He shifts, sitting beside you against the wall, careful to leave space, but still your shoulders bump together. "But. Want to know what I think?"

You turn your head to look at him, makeup probably ruined, dress definitely stained from the alley ground, but you’ve already abandoned ship, you’ve waved your white flag — there’s no use in pretending you haven’t crumbled in a New York alleyway now. "What?"

"I think they're terrified of you."

That startles a real laugh out of you, “What?"

"You heard me." He's looking straight ahead, but there's something fierce in his profile. "You walked in there with your soul on full display, unapologetic and raw and real, and they don't know what to do with that. People like that, they're comfortable with art they can hang in their dining rooms and forget about.” You watch him blink, gathering the words, “Your shit doesn't let them forget. It makes them feel things they don't want to feel."

You nudge him gently, a laugh flaring your nostrils. "That's a lot better than the fireworks metaphor."

Now he does look at you, a small smile playing at his lips, his cheeks blushed crimson from the wine he’d gulped down just to make himself a bit more sociable. "Yeah, well, I've had three glasses of their overpriced wine. I'm feeling poetic."

Another laugh bubbles up, watery but real. You let your head fall against his shoulder, just for a moment. "I don't want to go back in there."

"So we won’t." He doesn't move, letting you lean on him, his head leaning atop yours. "Let's go get real drinks instead. You can tell me all the things you wanted to say to that guy who tried to explain color theory to you."

"God, he was the worst." You straighten up slowly, wiping at your eyes. "Did you see his socks?"

"I was trying not to."

•

You're standing at the open bar, counting the minutes until it's socially acceptable to leave, when Madison — a college friend you haven't seen in years, who always seemed to help herself to open bars beyond her means — sways over.

Her champagne sloshes dangerously close to your dress, but for some reason, you don’t step back.

"Oh my god, it really is you!" Her voice carries just a bit too loud, and you can feel a few heads turning in your direction. "I almost didn't recognize you without, you know-“ she gestures vaguely at all of you, that sick smile still on her blush pink lips. "All the paint and shit all over you.”

You take a long sip of your drink, hoping it would wash away the rising tide of anxiety in your core. "Good to see you too, Mads.”

"So,” She leans in conspiratorially, her breath smelling of booze and mid-tier champagne. “I heard about your gallery show last month. The one at The Maxwell? God, that must have been-“ She trails off, eyes wide with what looks like concern but feels like something else entirely.

Your hand tightens around your glass. "Must have been what?" Your lips tighten into a line, “It was an- an honor to have the opportunity.”

Words your father had always said to you growing up echo in the far depths of your mind; Honor and Integrity.

There’s a humility in it, in accepting such a nightmare as privilege.

"Well, I mean — I saw that article that was going around Instagram. About how you just up and left? In the middle of opening night?" She takes another sip of champagne, watching you over the rim with her big, stupid brown eyes. "Is that true? That you didn't even come back to collect your pieces? God, that's crazy!"

The word crazy hits like a slap, and you can still feel the panic from that night, the walls closing in as people whispered, pointed, discussed your work like it was a car crash they couldn't look away from and did nothing to aid.

"It's not exactly-"

"And after everything with Matt, and then Jason- ugh,” She shakes her head. "I mean, I get it. Using art as therapy. But maybe actual therapy would be — I dunno — you know, beneficial?”

"Madison-"

"I'm just worried about you," she continues, reaching for your arm and her fingers feel like serpents, coiling around your skin, suffocating you. "We all are. First the whole thing with your poor father — god, remember how he used to say you were just too-"

"Don't." Your voice comes out sharper than intended, your brows furrowed at her like she’d backhanded you. “Don’t you fucking say another word.”

Madison almost gasps, clutching her necklace. “See? This is what I mean. All this reactionary stuff. The anger. The intensity. Have you thought about getting help? My therapist says sometimes when we've been through things-"

The garden somehow feels too small, the fairy lights too bright, the music too loud. Across the room, Luigi is trapped in conversation with the bride's uncle, but somehow he must sense something because his eyes find yours, his head tilted at you, his usual question.

Everything okay?

This time, you look away from him.

"I’m going to leave this conversation before-“

"No, wait, listen." Madison's grip on your arm tightens, slithering, sneering, hissing. Fangs, poison. “That show — people were talking about it for weeks. How raw it was. How fucking uncomfortable it made everyone. One of the pieces — the one with all the broken mirrors? Someone said it looked like a cry for help."

You can feel your pulse in your throat. "It wasn't a fucking-“

"And then you just disappeared! Like, who does that, girl? Just leaves their own show? The curator had to pack up your pieces himself. That's what the article said. Is that true?" She may as well have a microphone beneath your trembling lips, taking on the role of some cheap reporter for a local shittalking magazine.

Of course she read the article.

Everyone read the article.

The one that called your work a disturbing glimpse into a clearly troubled mind. The one that suggested your artistic breakdown was inevitable given your history of emotional instability.

It was laughable, truly, and anyone that knew you well enough had known so much to be so very far from the truth.

"I had my reasons," you manage, but your voice sounds distant even to yourself. “I had reason for leaving the way I did.”

"Obviously you did. That's what I'm saying. Maybe if you got some help, you know, dealt with all this and found ways to properly cope-“ She waves her hand vaguely again, like swatting away a pesky fly. "Then maybe you could make art that's more you know.. accessible. Enjoyable. Less-“

"Less me?" The words come out before you can stop them. “Bullshit. You wouldn’t know, Madison. You haven’t seen a single one of my shows, haven’t shown yourself at any of my gallery openings-“ your cheeks burn red hot, your glass of wine discarded and your hands balled into fists. “You’re lucky I don’t fucking pop that smirk right off your-“

"That's not what I-"

“It is exactly what you fucking-“

“No, it’s not! Look at yourself!”

"Hey!” Luigi's voice cuts through the rising panic. He's suddenly there, solid and real. "Sorry to interrupt, but we have that thing that we have to get to-“ he loops his arm around yours, and he swears he can feel the heat radiating off of you, hot and quivering like a volcano deciding if it’s time to erupt just yet or not.

Madison blinks at him, her nostrils flared at the sudden interruption. It seems as though this is exactly the reaction she wanted, and was pissed the show had called curtains so quickly. "What thing?"

"That very important thing," Luigi says firmly, already guiding you away. "Great catching up. Green is not your color. Go Birds.” As he turns you both, he raises his middle finger behind your back — not because you needed defending, but because that's who Luigi is; all sharp edges and fierce loyalty, a guard dog with his teeth bared in your honor, though, you catch the gesture in a reflection, and something warm unfurls in your chest.

Not because you needed saving, but because he'd always take your side, no matter the circumstances. He didn’t need to know why you were barking at this girl he’d never met before — he already knew you had good reason to do it.

You make it to the venue's back garden before your legs give out, and the fairy lights blur through tears you refuse to let fall. "Did you— fuck,” Your voice shakes as you reach to wipe away the tears before they even get the chance to glide down your cheeks. "Did you actually hear what she was saying or just see it?”

"Caught the greatest hits." His jaw is tight, his hand resting on your lower back as he hunches forward, clearly concerned but approaching all of it carefully.

You can’t help but wonder then how many times you’ll find yourselves like this — Luigi rescuing you from yet another mishap, and that alone could become a new reason to feel sorry for yourself.

And him.

"The article." You wrap your arms around yourself. "She read the fucking article."

Ironically, you had originally taken the article well.

Too well, in fact.

You'd invited them all over — Luigi, Anna, Theo — for what you called A Reading of My Professional Obituary. You'd spent all day in the kitchen, channeling your grandmother's stress-cooking legacy; bouillabaisse simmering for hours, Tarte Tatin caramelizing to golden perfection.

The good wine came out, the kind you'd been saving for a real occasion.

Perched in your chair like it was a throne, wine glass dangling from your fingers, you'd performed dramatic readings of the choicest quotes. "Sources close to the artist describe a history of emotional instability," you'd intoned, affecting a pompous art critic voice that had Luigi choking on his wine. "An unsettling collection that seemed less like art and more like a cry for help.”

The evening devolved into a tipsy game of "Guess the Snitch" — everyone taking turns suggesting increasingly ridiculous candidates for the mysterious source. "It was Gabby, in the gallery, with the emotional manipulation!" Theo had declared, wielding his bouillabaisse spoon like a gavel.

But Luigi had watched you through it all — the way your hand shook slightly when pouring wine, how your laugh got a little too loud to be genuine, and how you'd spent three hours making a perfect French dessert like your life depended on proving you weren't falling apart.

"We all did." Luigi reminds you, his voice gentle but firm. "Christ, we turned it into dinner theater. Remember how Anna did that dramatic interpretation of ' the unsettling collection'?" His hand finds your knee, squeezing. "And it was shit. Not only was it shit — it was cowardly. Didn't even have the spine to name you."

You tilt your head back, using the stars as gravity's help against the tears threatening to spill. The fairy lights from the wedding garden blur into little halos. "I know, but — these people, Lu." Your voice catches, and you hate how it betrays you. "They believe it. They're all walking around thinking I'm some unhinged artist who needs to be sedated and locked away from sharp objects." A laugh escapes, but it's wet and hollow. "God, I wish I'd understood what that article would do. I wish-"

But there's no point in wishing.

The damage was done with surgical precision.

They hadn't needed to use your name — everyone knew exactly whose exhibition had opened at Maxwell Gallery on August fifteenth.

Yours.

•

The hotel room feels smaller with each passing hour.

You've mastered a careful choreography — sliding past each other in the narrow spaces, maintaining precise distances on the king bed as you both pretend to watch some mindless cooking show. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, you slip. His hand brushes yours as you both reach for the room service menu, your feet touch under the shared blanket; each accidental contact sends you recoiling like a startled cat, though you used to fall asleep during movie nights without a second thought.

When your knee accidentally bumps his as you shift position, you jerk away so violently you nearly fall off the bed.

"Okay." Luigi mutes the TV, turning to face you. "We need to talk about this."

"About what?" But you know exactly what, can feel heat creeping up your neck and it makes you want to run.

"About how we used to share my twin bed during college when you crashed at my place, but now you act like my skin is fucking toxic." His voice is gentle, but there's an undercurrent of hurt that makes your core ache. "Remember that road trip to Detroit? You slept on my chest the whole way back because the car heater was broken.“ he looks desperate, grasping at the last straws of you. “I feel like we hardly look each other in the eyes now.”

You stare hard at the geometric pattern on the duvet, picking at a loose thread. "Things were different then."

"Were they?" He shifts closer, and you fight the urge to move away. "Or are you just scared they weren't?"

You get up abruptly, needing to put physical space between you and that question, the Chicago night spreading out beyond the window, a constellation of lights blurring through unshed tears; each one feels like a witness to this moment, to your cowardice.

"You know what changed," you say finally, arms crossed tight against your chest like armor. "After Maxwell, after the article, after everything became public consumption — I can't be that person anymore.”

"Why not?" His voice is closer now — he's moved to the edge of the bed, but he doesn't approach further. Giving you space while refusing to let you run.

Very classic Luigi.

A laugh escapes you, bitter and dry. "Because now everyone's watching. Waiting for the next shoe to drop. And you-“ You turn just enough to catch his reflection in the window, superimposed over the city lights. "You're too important to me, Lu.”

"So you'd rather just — what? Keep pretending?" There's frustration in his voice now, raw and real. "We both know that's not sustainable. Not when we used to-“ He trails off, and you recall the many countless nights on his cramped couch, your head on his chest, his heartbeat your lullaby to the most restful sleep you’d ever known.

"Maybe not," you admit quietly. "But it's safer than the alternative."

"Safer for who?"

The question almost knocks you off your feet.

Because he's right — this careful distance isn't protecting him. It's protecting you. From vulnerability. From the possibility of loss. From the terrifying reality that despite everything, despite all your jagged edges and dark corners, he's still here.

Still looking at you like you're something precious instead of precarious.

The silence stretches between you, heavy with all the things you're afraid to say, all the ways you're afraid to need him, and even more terrified of the way he needs you.

Eventually, you turn from the window, facing him. "It can't be simple. I won't let it be." Your voice catches. "I push and I pull and I keep everyone at arm's length until they prove me right by leaving."

Luigi stands slowly, like he's approaching a wild animal. "You've been trying so hard to make it impossible," he says softly. "Creating distance, convincing yourself I'll give up." He takes another step closer. "But loving you has always been the easiest thing I've ever done."

"Don't." The word comes out choked, your hand pressing against his chest in hopes that he’ll back away. "Don't say that when you know how complicated — how- how difficult-"

"Difficult?" He's close enough now that you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes, stood firm but not inching any closer. "You want to talk about difficult? Try watching you date other people. Try sitting across from you at coffee shops for years and watching you cry over them. Try fucking loving you quietly through every gallery opening, every crisis,“ his brows furrow, his nostrils flare, “you don’t get to tell me what loving you is like.”

Your breath catches as he reaches for you.

"You think you're pushing me away?" His voice is barely above a whisper, his hands finally cradling your face, tears dampening your cheeks that blaze with warmth. "I've been yours since that first night you fell asleep on my shoulder during finals week. Everything since then — it's just been waiting."

You clench your jaw, your heart a wild thing against your ribs. This tightrope you and Luigi have been walking for years — this delicate balance of almost-but-not-quite, of maybe-someday-but-not-now — has finally frayed beneath your feet. All those careful steps, those perfectly maintained distances, those nights of pretending your skin didn't burn where he almost touched you.

They’ve led you here, to this hotel room in Chicago, where the fantasy of staying safely suspended between friendship and something more has finally given way to gravity.

And what, you wonder, has Luigi seen in you to make him want to dive deeper into your chaos?

He's already witnessed the 3 AM phone calls when your mind won't quiet, the obsessive cleaning episodes that leave your hands raw and your apartment sterile. He's held you through the tears that come without warning, weathered the anger that burns hot and fast like summer lightning.

You're no manic pixie dream girl — you're the real thing, messy and unpredictable, with a heart that bleeds all over everything it touches.

He's either a storm chaser or a fool, you think.

Some hopeless beast tamer who hasn't realized that some creatures aren't meant to be gentled, that some storms leave nothing but wreckage in their wake.

But that's the thing — to Luigi, you've never been a storm to weather or a beast to tame. He doesn't look at you like you're broken machinery in need of repair, doesn't treat your edges like something to be smoothed away.

Instead, he's spent years matching your pace, stepping back when you needed space, stepping forward when you needed anchor. And now, finally, the weight of all that careful patience has brought him here — raw and honest in this dim hotel room, asking you to either meet him in this space between what you are and what you could be, or lay him to rest.

"Touch me," he says, the words falling soft but heavy in the space between you. His eyes hold yours, steady and sure, "Or let me go.”

The city lights paint his silhouette in gold and shadow, and you realize you've never seen him look so vulnerable, so stripped of the careful composure he always maintains. Your Luigi laid bare — not the patient friend, not the steady shoulder, but a man who's finally reached the end of his endurance.

"What if we break?" The question slips from your lips, small and honest, carrying all the weight of your fears that kept you at such a distance all these years — shattering to pieces, left broken by the man you’d loved the most.

Luigi's eyes soften, and something like a smile — sad and sweet and knowing — tugs at the corner of his lips. "Then we break," he says simply, his thumbs swiping away the tears that slide down your cheeks. "But I'd rather that than spend the rest of my life whole and wondering."

His hands haven’t moved. Patient, steady Luigi, who has never pushed but never fully retreated, either. Who has somehow found this perfect middle ground between staying and going, between asking and waiting.

And maybe that's what finally does it — the realization that he's offering you both beginning and end in the same breath. That he's standing here saying yes to all of it; the possibility of breaking, of shattering, of ending up with nothing but deadly carnage between you.

That he knows exactly what he's asking for, and he's asking anyway.

Your hand moves before you can think yourself out of it again, crossing the space between you like a prayer finally answered. When you cup his face, the scrape of stubble against your palm is both foreign and achingly familiar — like a song you used to know by heart, now half-remembered.

His eyes flutter closed at your touch, and you feel the slight tremor in his jaw, the way he leans into your hand like he's been starving for it.

His breath catches, shaky and soft, and when he speaks, his voice is rough with emotion. "There you are," he whispers against your palm, like he's greeting someone long lost, like you've finally come home after years away. "There you are."

His lips brush your palm once more before he lifts his gaze to yours, eyes dark with something between hope and heartache. "Tell me to pull away," he whispers, voice rough. "Tell me this isn't what you want, and I'll go. I'll understand."

But his body betrays him — the slight tremor still present in his jaw under your touch, the way he's still leaning into your hand like he can't help himself. He's offering you an exit, even now. Steady, selfless Luigi, always making sure you have a way out, even when it's killing him to do so.

And that's what breaks you finally — not his touch or his words, but this endless capacity of his to put your needs first.

To stand here offering everything he has left and the chance to walk away from it.

His hand finds your waist, fingers pressing into soft flesh with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. That small sound seems to undo something in him — his control fractures, and suddenly he's pulling you down to him with a urgency that matches your own, your hands bracing against his chest, feeling the thundering of his heart beneath your palms.

"I've thought about this," he confesses roughly, eyes locked on yours with an intensity that makes heat pool low in your stomach, his thumb tracing a burning path along your hip bone. "Having you like this.”

You can feel the tension coiled in him, the way he's still holding back despite everything. Even now, he's giving you the chance to set the pace, to decide how far this goes. But you're done with hesitation, done with the careful distance you've maintained for so long.

You lean down, letting your lips brush against his ear. "Show me," you whisper, and feel him shudder beneath you. "Show me how you wanted me."

He moves with a swiftness that steals your breath, flipping your positions in one fluid motion. Now he's the one hovering above you, his forearm braced beside your head, other hand still at your waist.

The weight of him, the heat of him so close — it makes your head spin.

"Like this," he breathes, pressing his forehead to yours. "Just like this." He holds you like you’ll run from him — just like he’s watched you run from everything before that doesn’t run from you first.

Your hands find their way to his shoulders, feeling the tension there, the way he's trembling slightly despite his strength. "I'm here," you whisper back, one hand sliding up to cup his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

[entername322]

Like a moth to a flame

Eunbi (ex Izone) X Male Reader ft Yujin (ex Izone, IVE)

Length: 12358 words

Next part

Life fucking sucks doesn't it? Dead father, alcoholic and abusive mom, failing grades, crippling depression, backstabbing friends, violent debt collector. Shit, is there anything going your way? Well at least you don't have drug addiction, kinda suck it took away your brother from you though. “Hey, you're okay?” You felt a tap on your shoulder waking you up from your existential crisis. “I'm fine, just….. thinking”, You look at your friend, Chan, “Yeah, life”, fucking sucks, but he doesn't need to finish that sentence. “Me and the boys are going out for a drink today. You want to come? We can cheer for your brother”, You shake your head, “Come on, drink on me”, You felt a frown forming in your face.

“Don't fucking offer me that shit”, Chan sighed, “Listen, I know you hate it, but it's an appropriate time for it. It's not a pity gesture, okay? I'm just looking out for you”, Thankfully your phone vibrated and took you away from the conversations. “Ohhh? You got another match?” Chan immediately leaned to see your phone screen notification. “It's the same match from last month, she's a piece of art I tell you that much”, A smile forms on your face as you see the mystery girl has texted you. “Come on man, I want to see”, You immediately pull away your phone, “Nuh uh, you gotta respect our privacy here”, Chan frowned at you. “Bro, the chat is already anonymous, come on, let me see”, You sighed, “One picture, that's it”, He smiled again.

You show him a picture the girl has sent you, a picture of her tits. “Bro, how the fuck do you keep getting those milfs. Be honest with me, do you know the admins?” You just shrugged, “Life, uhhh, equalise things”, No family, no money, no academic achievement, but hey at least you keep getting some nice hook ups here and there. “Yeah, such a nice gesture from the universe. Come on, are you going for a drink or not?” You think for a second, your boys or a sexy mysterious milf? “I'll pass for tonight”, Chan grinned at your shamelessness. “I'll remember this, you picked Joe's before bros”, He yelled at you as you walked away. 

PurpleBunny: I did it.

You raised your eyebrow, intrigued.

PorkCrackling: Show me, you know I need proof for this type of stuff.

You waited for a few minutes before she sent you a picture. It was a picture of her spread ass cheeks with a butplug in her asshole.

PorkCrackling: That's boring, where's the picture of you wearing it at work

PurpleBunny: How am I supposed to take that picture?

PorkCrackling: Well, you said you work in a private office. So pull down your pants, or pull up your skirt, and show me this picture while you're wearing your office uniform.

PurpleBunny: No way, that's easily tracked back to me.

PorkCrackling: I know you're right, and I hate it. So I'll just take your word for it.

PurpleBunny: Thank you master.

PorkCrackling: How does it feel working with that in your ass?

PurpleBunny: It felt weird, and exciting.

PorkCrackling: Does anyone notice any different behaviour from you?

PurpleBunny: None, I hide it very well.

PorkCrackling: Good girl, should we move to the next step?

PurpleBunny: Yes please, I'm so excited.

PorkCrackling: Which one should we start first? Your anal training? Or your voyeurism?

PurpleBunny: Do I have to do voyeurism? Can I just do anal?

PorkCrackling: Hey, you said it yourself sweetie, you like it when people look at you.

PurpleBunny: I mean yeah, but I don't want to do it at my work. It's too risky.

PorkCrackling: Why is that?

You waited for her answer while looking at the picture she just sent you. Goddamn she has a nice ass, her body is a full package, it makes you wonder how she looks. 

PurpleBunny: I work at a university.

PorkCrackling: Oh? A professor?

PurpleBunny: Yeah, you could say that.

PorkCrackling: So, on a daily basis you are being watched by a bunch of thirsty college boys? Must be a fun job huh?

PurpleBunny: Sometimes, it's too much, but yeah I like it when they check me out, although it felt so wrong.

PorkCrackling: Such a slut, fine then, let's do your anal training first. Let's do some simple things first. Buy a lube, use the dildo you bought last week. Send me a video of you using that in your ass.

PurpleBunny: Okay master, I'll get to it as soon as possible 💜💜💜

PorkCrackling: Good girl

PurpleBunny: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

You laughed seeing her texts, how come someone at her age, probably 20-30s judging from her flawless skin, could be so immature. Why is she even asking this type of thing from you? The website you used is some anonymous hookup website used by a bunch of sex addicts. Yes, Chan is right, you do know one of the admins, he gave you an account to use there. You've had some encounters with a bunch of girls already, a single mother desperate for some relief, a soon to be married woman asking for some advice, a college chick who gave you a surprise threesome with her roommate. It's all fun and games, yet this one really doesn't want to reveal her identity, not even a name. She started texting you as if she's in a confessional booth for satan where she keeps talking about her sexual fantasies.

It was boring honestly, you use the website for a hookup, not kinky chat. Then she sends a picture of her tits, so you can't really pass up such an enticing meal can't you? Maybe, if you keep corrupting her you can eventually convince her to meet up. Your phone vibrates again, checking the notifications, you see that the mystery lady has sent you a video of her masturbating while moaning “master” a few times. “Fucking hell, just give up and hook up with me already”, It's a good video, a decent material for, relaxation.

The next day, you reluctantly went to school, checking on your mom before you leave is a bad idea, “You should've fucking die with your brother. Fucking useless meatbag”, Always pleasant to hear from her. Highschool sucks, the worst part is you know it wasn’t that bad, you just want to make it harder for yourself. “You're 2 hours late to school”, Your homeroom teacher yells at you. “It's history and geography, I'm not sitting in class to hear all that boring stuff”, You can clearly see his frustration. “Listen, I know your bother-” Your hand immediately slammed the table out of instinct, “Don't try to use that on me. If you say he's disappointed in me then you better zip it up”, He sighed and just shook his head.

“You have a future, you know that? It might seem bleak but there's still hope in it, and I hate that you're throwing it all away. I can't say that I know what you're feeling, but I know anger, I know all that pent up rage is eating you from the inside. I know it's hard for me to ask you to change, but can I ask you to try?” Father figures, that's what a rebellious kid like you needed, “How?” Thankfully you're smart enough to know it. “Talk to our counsellors, let's start with that”, That could work, maybe talking to some professional help is better than talking to some random strangers on the internet. “Fine, but I'm not going to detention”, It was a good offer, “Stop whining, go to the detention room”, It was not convincing enough. 

You reluctantly left to the detention class, it's always nice when the school rewards you for skipping class by making you skip more classes. Once you get there you see your school pals, Yujin, “What are you doing here?” She smiled the moment she saw you, “I forgot to set the alarm and woke up late, you?” You sat down next to her, “Ahhh you know, making fun of Miss Chaeyeon’s divorce”, Yujin is your friend alright, but that's because she actually spent a lot of time with you at the detention room. She's less self aware about her situation in life. “Sit down and shut up, you two know the rule already”, Your detention teacher, Miss Taeyeon walks in and glared at the two of you.

The detention was fine, boring most of the time, it was unlucky since Miss Taeyeon was the one who got the shift so you can't really do much with Yujin. The lunch came around, just like usual you went to a secluded place near the football field to have some peaceful lunch. This school, it's quite prestigious which means the grade and academic achievement are pretty important here. You, being an idiot rebel, are an outcast. Your only friend, Yujin, is actually pretty popular. She's not an idiot like you, she's actually doing fine with her grades, she's just a sociopath who hates every teacher in the school. 

Thankfully you didn't really have to spend your lunch alone, well you do physically, but mentally you're being accompanied by none other than PurpleBunny. It seems she is having a boring day at work and decided to chat with you. It's a nice conversation, although she doesn't want to reveal a single information about her identity she seems to like talking about her feelings and desires. Just as you expected, she is a very uptight woman at work, her life is seemingly perfect, her childhood sounds joyful and peaceful. It's very enviable really, it really made you want to corrupt her even further. Hey, if she's rich you can try to extort her for money, sure your admin friend is gonna hire a hitman on your ass but it's worth it right?

In the end, you just ask her for some pictures to entertain you, it's always nice to see boobs. “Pervert”, It's not nice when someone notices you staring at them, “What are you doing here?” Yujin doesn't answer your question and just looks back at the picture on your phone. “What kind of pervert watches porn in the middle of school?” She sat down next to you. “I'm not watching porn, I'm just, learning biology”, She rolled her eyes at your witty attempt, “Heard about your brother by the way, hope you're doing alright”, Yujin leaned at the wall as she looked to the sky. “Yeah, that's just life you know”, The two of you stay silent for a while, just enjoying the sun.

“So who's tits are those? They're massive”, Right, despite being your pals, you and Yujin aren't exactly close pals. “Some random girl I match up with, no it's not Tinder, it's a website similar to that but it's dedicated solely for hooking up”, Yujin raised her eyebrow. “Ohhh? Here I thought you are too scared with that kind of stuff”, Yujin scoffed at you. “Why on earth would you think that way?” Well, you actually have a clue on why, “Because you never made a move on me dude. I thought you were gay or something”, You slapped her for that. 

“I didn't make a move, because you're not my type”, You said blatantly staring at her chest, “Heeh, it's bigger than their look you know”, Yujin proudly groped her own breast. “Are they this big?” You opened your phone again, “Hell no, do I look like a cow to you?” You wish she was. “What? What's with that look? I have other assets to flaunt”, Yujin suddenly stood up in front of you before turning around. “Well, it looks very nice”, You laughed seeing her bent down and show you her ass, it’s an invitation, or a dare. Of course, you took it, both of your hands immediately grabbed her ass and squeezed it, “Very firm too”, You even slapped it before letting go. “See? Ass over boobs. Women are born with their boobs size, but they can train their ass. Judging a girl by their boobs size is like a girl judging a guy by their height”, Yujin turned back around and flicked your nose. “Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can use it for your argument”, Yujin shrugged before pulling you up.

“Come with me after school, my house is empty today”, You should be a little scared or at least cautious of how eager she is, “I have a meeting with the school counsellor after class, so send me your address and I'll ‘visit’ you later”, You're actually scared? Fucking pussy. “Lame, fine, but the longer you keep me waiting the higher my expectations will be”, Yujin check your body out for a second. “Fuck it”, She said under her breath before pushing you to the wall and make out with you. Her hand seemingly enjoys your abs and her tongue is aggressively intruding your mouth. The heated make out ends quite quickly however, Yujin just pulls back as abruptly as how she initiated the kiss.

“You're good”, She licked her lips like a hungry predator, “You're down bad, next class is starting and I'm not going to get another lecture for skipping it so let's move”, Yujin frowned but she walked with you anyway. The two of you separate ways to your respective classes, and thus a boring time falls upon you. As the school ends your homeroom teacher immediately picks you up from your own class to make sure you didn't try to run. “Do you know who our counsellor is?” That's a good question, “No”, Like why would you know that? You barely remember the school's name.

“It's Miss Kwon, our principal, so you better behave because even I can't protect you from her”, Here's a better question actually, why is he so adamant on helping you? “Ahhh you're here, please follow me”, The question can wait, there's a smoking hot lady talking to you. “Who are you?” You felt a sharp pain from your hand due to your homeroom teacher's slap, what is his name anyway? “It’s okay Minho, you can call me Miss Eunbi if you like, your teacher said you'll be having a talk with me”, Hmmmm, she's very hot, how come you never notice her existence in the school. “Nice to meet you ma'am”, Your homeroom teacher slapped his head, “I'm sorry ma'am, he's…… different”, Eunbi just smiled at him before turning her attention back to you. “Well, let's not waste time, please follow me young man”

Eunbi led you to her office, “Please have a seat, make yourself comfortable”, She pointed at the couch, you took her advice and just lay on it. “Okay, so……this is a therapy session?” Eunbi smiled hearing your question before sitting on the couch near yours. “Well, I do have the licence for it, would you like to have one right now? If you do then I'll have to do some paperwork for legal reasons”, A therapy session with this hot chick will be fun. “Is it free?” She laughed at your question, making you frown. “Oh sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of you. Yes it's free, I do some therapy sessions with some of the students here as well”, Is that legal? Or ethical? Isn't there some conflict of interest since she's also your principal? Ahhhhh, don't think about it too much.

“Sure, why not”, Eunbi smiled and took out some paper, then she started saying some stuff about the privacy of the session and you know, all those formalities she had to say in order to start the therapy session. “So, where should we start?” Where should you start actually? “My brother died but too long ago”, Eunbi nods her head,  “I've heard, I'm sorry for your loss”, It's either she cares or she's good at acting like she cares because her tone sounds genuine. “I've seen this coming from long ago, it sucks but it's not like I wasn't prepared for it”, How cold, don't you love your brother? “Really? What makes you say that?” Eunbi starts writing her notes. “Because he's a fucking crack addict. He's gonna die either because he took too much or because he tried to steal some crack from his supplier”, Eunbi seems surprised with this information.

“Oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't know”, There's a hint of guilt and concern in her tone, “Yeah well, like I said, I'm not too bummed out about it”, Eunbi continued scribbling on her notes. “Well, how is your relationship with your brother?” It was a nice session, you don't really have friends who you feel comfortable sharing stuff with, so having someone to talk to like this makes you feel, delighted. Throughout the session you made some not so subtle attempt at checking her out. She's kinda hot, nice body proportions, beautiful face, flawless skin. In fact, being a pervert who likes to undress women with your eyes, you can quickly tell, her body is very similar to PurpleBunny. The baggy and thick sweater she wore made her cup size questionable.

“I guess there's where we will end our session”, She either doesn't realise it or she doesn't care, and if the latter then the chances of her being PurpleBunny would rise significantly. “It's a weird feeling”, She raised her eyebrow hearing you, “Why is that?” If she leans a little closer you might be able to glance down her cleavage. “Nothing, it's the first time I tried this and I didn't know what I expected”, Eunbi smiled at you reassuringly. “Well, I will say it's been a very successful first meeting for us. Would you like to have another soon?” Being close with her can help you itch your curiosity, so you set up another meeting on Friday.

After she lets you go, you immediately check your phone and see Yujin has sent you her address. “What a slut”, She also sent nude pictures asking you to come faster. Although you're very excited to release some stress, your mind was distracted with a text from your anonymous milf.

PurpleBunny: I have the lube, I will send you the video tonight 😘

PorkCrackling: Send me some pics

PurpleBunny: I can't, I'm still at work, I'll send some later master 😉

You walk to Yujin's place, and just as you expected, she's a fucking rich girl. You knock on the door and a housemaid greets you, she leads you through the mansion and leaves you in front of the bedroom door. Walking in you see Yujin is sitting on her bed, her eyes immediately give you some stingy looks, “Fucking hell, what took you so long?” She said before she started undressing. “I was having a deep emotional talk with Miss Eunbi. She's kinda fucking hot you know? I didn't know we had a sexy milf for a principal”, Yujin rolled her eyes. “She's a fucking whore, you know she likes to flaunt her tits to the school? Bet she got turned on being checked on by boys half her age”, That sounds familiar, although you can't really trust Yujin’s judgement regarding older people, teachers specially.

“Stop looking at me like that and just come here on the bed already, or….. are you scared?” Yujin, already fully naked, is laying on the bed, while you're just judging her silently. “Come on now, turn around, I want to see your ass more than your face”, She clicked her tongue before going on all four facing away from you. “You’re stalling too much dumbass, hurry up before- ahhhhh,”, Yujin didn't get to finish her words as your hand started to rub her pussy. “So fucking wet already? Were you thinking about me this whole time?” You leaned in and whispered in her ears. “You think I'm into dirty talk?” It's always fun playing with a brat doesn't it?

“Fuck, what was that for?” Yujin moaned as she felt a sharp pain on her ass cheek, “You have a nice ass you know? Very tempting to spank”, You raised your hand and spanked her again, “Fuck stop that”, Yujin growled. “Why? You don't like being the sub here?” You spanked her again making her body shivers, “Fuck you”, Yujin moaned as she felt your finger starts to penetrate her. “Goddamn, you have such a nice ass”, You spank her again, but this time you grabbed it and squeezed it hard, “Is that all you can do? Foreplay and dirty talk? What a……. Fuckkkkk”, She can't finish her sentences as you start using your mouth to tease her asshole.

“God, fucking, shit, since when are you, ahhhhhhh…… fuck, since when are you so good”, Yujin, despite her demeanour, is not exactly experienced in this type of stuff. Her previous experiences was mostly with guys whose too scared and intimidated by her so they fuck up a lot. Not you though, you love seeing her like this, hearing the bitchy girl struggle to say anything else other than moans bring a sense of accomplishments inside you. “Goddamnit just fuck me already”, Yujin moaned, “Say please”, You laughed, Yujin clicked her tongue, clearly not enjoying the teasing you had with her. “Fine, can you please for the love of god just give me your cock”, You can barely contain your laughter hearing how goofy it sounds.

Standing up, you immediately lose your outfit, “You got some pills right?” Yujin nodded while she pressed her ass to your erect cock. “Holy fuck”, She moaned before turning around, her eyes locked with your dick. “How is that thing real?” Good is fair after all, he gave you a broken family and an abusive mom, but at least you got a big cock, and plenty of opportunities to use it. “Hehehe, is this your first time?” Yujin frowned upon hearing your question, “You think I'm a virgin? Haaa, unlike you I have guys lining- Haaaaaa”, You suddenly plunge your cock deep and shut her up, “Fuck, you felt like a virgin”, Her walls are so tight you can barely fit half of your cock in.

“Hhhnnnggg, thanksss”, Yujin moaned as her leg started to quiver, “Are you cumming already?” You spanked her ass making her tighten her pussy even more. “Stop…… talking, and….. start moving”, Yujin struggle to stop herself from moaning, “You sure?” This time she start silent for a second. She calms her breathing down for a second before nodding. There's a problem through, she didn't expect you still have more to shove in her so when you start pushing deeper Yujin let out a pained moan, “Fuck, there's more?” She grunted, your hand reached out and caressed her head. “Calm down princess, just relax for a second”, You can feel her pussy tightening again the moment you call her princess. “Ahhhhh, take it slow please”, She said meekly.

You smile feeling victorious, then you start moving slowly, a cacophony of moans keeps pouring out of Yujin's mouth. Once your hips finally meet with hers, Yujin can't contain her orgasm and just starts cumming all over her bed, soaking your thighs. “God, you're even worse than a virgin. I know you've always had a stick up your ass, guess it's just pent up stress isn't it?” You bite her ears as her body starts shaking. “Just fucking shut up already”, She groaned, you raised your hand and just spank her again, this made Yujin let out a protest moan but she doesn't say anything else.

Slowly you start moving, gently pulling back and thrusting forward. Yuji puts her head down as she struggles to make any coherent sound. For a while there were no words exchanged between the two of you, only moans and grunts. Thankfully Yujin doesn't take too long in order to get used to your size. Quite quickly you pick up your pace and start pounding her. No words have been said yet, only moans after moans followed by the sounds of flesh slapping against each other. “Fuck, I'm cumming”, Yujin finally broke the silence as another wave of ecstasy washes over her. 

“Are you asking for permission?” You tease her, Yujin glanced back at you with anger. Her looks don't last long as she immediately starts quivering. As the second orgasm passes you can feel her body relaxed even further, making it easy for you to pound her even faster. Watching her ass jiggle every time your hips slam into it has caused your hand to move by itself and spanking her occasionally. Every time your palm delivers a powerful slap her mouth let out a moan and you can feel her pussy tightening around you. 

Yujin is slowly losing her mind, she can't even hold herself up as your hand wrapping around her hips is the only thing stopping her from laying flat on the bed. The pounding you gave her only got more aggressive seeing how limp she has become. “Tired princess?” Yujin hates to admit it, but when you call her princess there's this little funny feeling growing in her stomach. She hates it, and she hates how you notice those little feelings. With great determination she pushes her body up, with every last ounce of her strength she moves her hips to match yours, trying to show you she isn't some spoiled princess who can't do anything. 

Her struggle is kinda cute for you, out of decency you slow down your pace just enough so she can follow your rhythm. Yujin feels her body is on fire, beads of sweat start dripping down her forehead, pooling down on her pillow that's already stained due to her drooling. “Are you close?” She tried to sound tough, yet those words ended up sounding like a desperate whimper which painted her true feelings. “Maybe? I'll cum sooner if you beg for it”, You grinned seeing Yujin helpless body struggling to continue. “Pleaseeeee, cum inside me, I'm getting close too, if you keep going I might pass out”, She managed to say those words although not having to face you directly greatly helps. 

“Come on, one more time”, You leaned forward and kissed her ear, “Fuck, please cum inside me already, fill me up with your thick, warm cum. I need it, please”, Now she actually sounds like a spoiled princess. It works, you can feel your balls tightening ready to shoot your sperm and paints her inside, “Fuck, I'm cumming Yujin”, Yujin was struggling to not pass out, yet the second she felt a sudden warmth feeling up her inside her body went to overdrive as she had her third orgasm. You emptied your load deep inside her as Yujin dropped her head to her pillow and let out a muffled groan. 

As you finished filling her up your body slumped down next to her, you were too excited to notice how tiring that sex was. Yujin was glancing at you, there's disdain in her eyes yet she looks so cute that you can't stop yourself from caressing her head. “I always knew you were a princess”, Yujin headbutted you, “Don't you ever call me that again”, It was meant to hurt you, thankfully she didn't break your nose or something like that. “You like it when I call you that, just admit it”, You decided to test your fate by spanking her ass. “I will kill you”, You tested your fate again by laughing at her threat. “This is fun Yujin, we should do this more”, Your hand can't help but caress and massage her butt, “I hate you”, God she's so cute.

“Well, I like you”, You leaned in and kissed her, Yujin felt her body freeze the moment you kissed her. A torrent of emotions flooded her, cracking the wall of her ego. Her hands tried to push you away but she's too weak to do anything, so you grabbed her and pulled her on top of you. Your hand happily playing with her ass while your tongue is fighting for dominance against hers. Being in your arms, having you play with her body because you knew she can't do anything, it really pisses Yujin off. Yet the feeling of being dominated like this is really good. You haven't broken her wall down, but there's enough crack there for you to slither in the future.

As the kiss ended Yujin gasped for air, her body trembling out of ‘rage’ or so she labels, truthfully she felt so excited from your actions. “We should roll together”, Yujin frowned but she can't bring herself to reject that invitation. “I'll do it, only if you treat me like an equal. You're not the Dom in this relationship but you're too proud to admit it. So let's just be an equal”, She's projecting a lot, “Whatever you want princess”, She frowned at you. “And don't call me that”, Perhaps she will soon realise her frowning face is a cute invitation for you to kiss her. “Fuck you can't just kiss me every time you want to shut me-”, You kissed her again. She pulls away and tries to protest but you grab her and kiss her again. This goes on for a while until she finally relent and let you make out with her.

In the end Yujin just lay on her bed, facing away from you but eagerly pushed her body on to yours as you cuddled her from behind. “Is your parents gonna kill me if I stay any longer?” Hopefully her parents are as ignorant about her sex life as your mom is to you. “They're not home, they never do”, For a moment you heard a fragile little girl crying for help, an opportunity to grab her by the neck and make her your toy. “Do you want me to stay the night?” You can try to tease her by kissing her shoulder but maybe that would make her kick you out. Yujin doesn't say anything, she just silently closes her eyes and tries to get some rest. 

The two of you fell asleep until late at night, at that point you felt kinda hungry, “No, go out and find your own food”, Yujin wants this to be casual. Having dinner together at her house is not casual, that's romantic, and she's too scared to start that, even if her heart really wants to. “Well then, see you later princess”, Yujin frowned again, it's less out of anger and more of annoyance, she then pushed you away from her bed before getting dressed. 

“Yo, where you at”, It's midnight, so there's not many places you can dine in, of course your dumbass group of misfits always wakes up late and explores the city. “We’re eating ramen, come”, Chan said with his mouth full of food, “Bet”, It's a cold and lonely night, the type you love the most. During your walk you check your phone and see PurpleBunny is looking for you. You send her some message saying you're busy with some stuff right now. After chatting with her for a while you know she never wakes up this late, she's a ‘professor’ after all. The night passes by uneventfully, your friends are a bunch of college kids and unemployed bastards so they tend to wake up till morning. 

“Fuck so you're gonna introduce her to us or what?” Chan said, you've told your friend about Yujin before, they seem to think you have some romantic attraction towards her. Although it's understandable where that thought came from, it still rubs you the wrong way. “I think she's gonna bring too much chaos to this”, That's a terrible excuse, your group is the most chaotic shit you've ever been a part of. “Alright kiddo, if you're too shy you just say it next time”, You didn't bother entertaining them further and just had your dinner.

Coming back home, you find your mom passed out on the couch. It's an everyday sight for you at this point, and it pisses you a lot. You remember how grand Yujin's house is, and now coming back to this dumpster of a ‘home’ made you curse the world for making you born into this ‘family’. “Haaa, fuck it”, There's no point mourning over things you can't change, you left your mom in the couch, bathed in alcohol and her own vomit to get some rest for the night.

The next day, school goes by like usual, nothing changed, except for Yujin's demeanour around you. “Jesus, can you not breathe so loud? You're fucking annoying you know that?” It causes some of her friends to distance themselves from the two of you. “You're so cute when you're being shy like this”, Yujin blushes for a second before she starts slapping you, “Don't. You. Fucking. Call. Me. That. Again”, Every word laced with pure anger. “Come on princess, I'm not you, I don't have a hidden masochist kink inside me”, Your laugh only made her enraged even more. The ‘assault’ was so bad a teacher had to step in and pull her off.

You find this whole thing to be amusing, Yujin being too enraged to say something to ease the situation makes the teacher think you two are having a genuine fight. “Alright that's it, you two come with me to the teacher's office”, Of course the lovely Miss Taeyeon decides to take this whole comical situation seriously. As you and Yujin walk together you see her glaring at you, “Since when are you so sensitive with words? I thought you always said don't throw any punches if you can't take them”, Pointing out her little hypocrisy almost made her lose her mind. “I'll fucking ruin you”, And just like that you got an invitation to her house again, she's so easy to play with. 

Taeyeon brought the two of you to her office, she sat you down in front of her before opening her laptop. “I've had it with you two, why can't you spend one day, just one day without causing any trouble”, Taeyeon shakes her head, for a while the room went silent with nothing but the sounds of her typing on her keyboard. “Explain yourself, Yujin you started this, what happened?” Taeyeon glares at Yujin who just scoffed, “It's not important”, Taeyeon knows there's pretty much all she can get from Yujin so she turns to you. “It was a friendly scuffle, I don't know why everyone suddenly got so worked up”, She looked at you coldly, “Whatever it was, fights are not acceptable in this school. So either you two do a better job at convincing me that it's not a fight or I'll suspend both of you”, You can't say no to some free vacation…… and it seems neither does Yujin.

“I….. really can't with the two of you right now”, Taeyeon rubbed her forehead out of frustration seeing that you and Yujin stayed quiet. “It's personal okay? But I promise you it was not a fight, we were just…..”, You glanced at Yujin who’s ready to maul you, “Joking”, Your return her glare with a smile. “Don't tell me it's a couple's quarrel”, Yujin frowned hearing Taeyeon's words, “Well, not a ‘couple’ just yet so-”, You can't really finish your words because Yujin suddenly slapped your head. “Jesus fucking Christ, the two trouble kids are dating now”, You can hear the frustration grow even more within Taeyeon's voice. “We are not dating”, Yujin stomps her leg to the girls before rudely leaving the room.

Left alone with Taeyeon, you gave her a shrug, “She's kinda shy about it”, Taeyeon shakes her head. “I'll let you off this once, I saw everything and you don't seem to fight back. But for the love of god do not bring your lover’s problem to school”, You nod completely uninterested in her words. “Are you gonna send me home now?” Taeyeon glared at you, “No, go back to class, and after school you will report back to me for another detention”, Well fuck, there goes your plan for the day….. Do you have plans for the day? Anyway, the school went by uneventfully after that, Yujin was nowhere to be seen and you heard she just decided to go home.

Let's move the other person who is having an eventful day, Eunbi. She recognises that this is probably a bad idea, but after yesterday she decided to check on your family situation. She was prepared for the worst, yet when she arrived at your house she realised it was worse than what she expected. You live in the ‘slums’, the place was so bad she felt someone might just kidnap her right there and then. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Thankfully she went with your over caring homeroom teacher, Mister Minho. “I think, I need to at least see for myself how bad it was”, He nodded and knocked on your front door.

There was no answer for a while so he knocked again, and no answer again, so he knocked again and this time the two of them heard a shout from the inside. “Fuck off”, The two exchanged a glance, “Good morning ma'am, we're from your son’s school, can we talk for a moment”, There wasn't any answer but they could hear a bunch of noise from the inside. The door finally opened, the first thing they noticed was the sickening smell of vomit and alcohol, then they saw your mom who looked like she just got out of a trash can. “Who the fuck are you two fancy pants”, Eunbi put on a friendly smile, “Good morning ma'am, sorry to bother you, this is Minho, your son's homeroom teacher and I am Eunbi, the school's principal. Can we talk for a moment?” Your mom looks at her two uninvited guests, “You can talk from here”, Honestly, from the little glimpse they get from the outside, they prefer to not walk inside as well. 

“Well it's about your son, yesterday he had skipped some morning classes…..” Minho starts talking about what you did yesterday, then Eunbi follows up about the therapy session she had with you. Eunbi hides everything about the talk but still talks about how you seem to be pretty shaken by your brother's death, although you never admit it. Throughout the talk they notice how uninterested your mom is, she even walks inside at one point and starts drinking some liquor from a half empty bottle. “So? What does this have to do with me?” Your mom said as they finished their stories, “Well, as his councillor I would like to ask, how has he acted around the house? Especially after your oldest son's death”, Eunbi felt like this is a stupid question, “I don't fucking know”, And she stands corrected. “Listen you fucking retards, I don't give a shit about him, so don't fucking come here and waste my time. Fucking comeback if he got expelled or if he died”, She spit on their feet before slamming the door in front of them.

The two stand there silently for a while, “This is disturbing”, Eunbi nods at Minho's words, this is problematic. “This is, worse than what I expected, far worse”, How can she help you with therapy when you're living in this shithole with that ignorant mother of yours. “Should we call the authorities or something?” Eunbi shakes her head, reluctantly, “Unfortunately he's already 18 so the authorities can't do much as he's no longer considered a child. Besides, I think I need to talk to him again to make sure he doesn't find what we're doing here to be, intruding and overbearing”, Minho sighed, why does he care so much about you anyway? “Yeah, let's go back to school”

Eunbi gets back to her office and stresses out over you, she felt, helpless. There's just this thing about you that evokes pity inside her, something that she has understood would make you angry. Unfortunately she can't help you that much, so for now she just prepares a few questions and notes for your next session. Eunbi took a look at her phone to find her chatting with PorkCrackling, it was a little disappointing that he didn't answer her last night, after all she was so excited to show him her experiment last night. Eunbi's mind floated off to last night when she finally tried anal. The weird yet enjoyable feelings of her asshole being intruded by the massive dildo she had bought weeks prior was intoxicating. 

She reads back your chats with her, at first it was a little awkward as she started using the website not to find hookups, but a release for her sexual fantasies. Thankfully PorkCrackling seems to find it fun and just goes along the ride. The first thing they did was some sexting, which was super hot for her. Then it starts to grow apparent how dominant the guy really is which made her even more turned on. The two of them quickly find their dynamics, he becomes the master and she becomes the kinky slave. When he first asked for a picture she was reluctant, but her excitement overcame her and so she sent a picture of her boobs. From there it only went downhill, deeper into the abyss of depravity and lust. 

It felt arousing, sending pictures like that to him, his compliments and comments about how her pics are a perfect jerk off material made her happy. Even though Eunbi is used to being checked out, just the feeling of sending her private pictures to a total stranger really excites her. Every time she sends him a picture he always replies back with some very dirty messages about all the things he wants to do to her. Slowly her guard is crumbling down, the idea of meeting this mysterious man becomes more and more appealing by the day. As she scrolls down her text she notices that he never really sends any pictures of himself. She never really minds it, after all how could a good slave ask anything from her master. However since the idea of meeting him in person has become a plausible next step of their relationship, Eunbi can't help but feel curious on what to expect. Would he be able to live up the expectations she has set in her mind? Or would he falter and ruin the dream image she has made up? Shaking her head, Eunbi felt determined to ask him for one, even if he wasn't really that impressive, just the conversation alone is fun for her.

As you are busy trying to sneakily play with your phone in the middle of class you find a text from your obedient slave. It was a cute and anxious chat asking for a picture from you as a change. Fuck it just whip out your dick and send it to her? Although, if she is really Eunbi, wouldn't she notice the uniform you're wearing? It would be fun wouldn't it, would she freak out? Would she get consumed by her depravity and get turned on by the idea of having this relationship with her own student?

You're too curious to pass up on such an opportunity, so you quickly went to the bathroom and sent her a text, asking for a picture to get you hard. Eunbi panicked for a second seeing your text, after all she's still not sure of taking a picture in the middle of her office during work time. Thankfully she took quite a lot of them last night when she was experimenting, so she sends all of them to you. Those pictures are enough to make you feel somewhat regretful that you spend the night cuddling with Yujin instead of just sexting. “Goddamnit, now I'm actually hard”, Jerking off in the school bathroom sounds like a bad idea, but fuck it why not. 

First you set up the stage, take off your uniform to make sure you didn't ruin them, get in a comfortable position, then you start masturbating. You took a few pictures of your cock, and even sent a video of your ejaculation. Carefully making sure that it doesn't show more than just a glimpse or a little part of your uniform. After you clean up you carefully check the video and pictures before sending it to her and go back to your class as if nothing happened. The moment Eunbi checked them she became mesmerised. No wonder you asked her to get a big dildo, you've been preparing her to take your full length. You weren't being subtle about wanting to meet up with her eventually, it was pretty obvious by your text. Yet the idea of her being corrupted to be your actual sex slave was so hot. All this time you weren't just helping her with her fantasies, you were also preparing her to be a prefect fuck you for you.

Her mind is fogged by arousal, it distracts her from most of her work to the point that she has to leave early and spend the day just masturbating to your cock. That's it, she can't prolong the meeting any longer, she wants you deep inside her, she wants that ‘thing’ to split her apart and ruin her inside. You never really say anything about your identity, Eunbi only knows you're busy during the day with stuff and she doesn't pry into it. Thankfully she spent so long just masturbating that once she's done it's already dark outside, which means you're free.

PurpleBunny: You convince me, let's meet up master.

PorkCrackling: Ohhhh? So eager? I should've send you some pictures from the start if I know it was that easy

PurpleBunny: Maybe you should've master, your cock, is gorgeous

PorkCrackling: Huh, first time I ever heard someone describe it as that. 

PurpleBunny: 😚

PorkCrackling: Come on, first show me the videos, those pictures are hot but I want to see you pleasuring yourself with that dildo.

Eunbi then sends the video, it was super scuffed, after all she's trying really hard not to show her face. However, it's also one of the hottest videos you've ever watched.

PorkCrackling: Good girl, but the cinematography is wack, maybe next time you can show yourself? After all, we're meeting up soon.

PurpleBunny: Maybe next time 😉

PorkCrackling: When do you want to meet?

PurpleBunny: Well, tomorrow I have some meetings after work so Saturday is fine.

PorkCrackling: So the meeting, are we talking about getting to know each other meet up or just, straight up sex?

PurpleBunny: I want to have a little talk first before we go back to my place.

PorkCrackling: Oh? A date? Sounds like a pretty big switch up after your ‘full anonymous’ policy.

PurpleBunny: I'm just a little on edge, I need some relief.

PorkCrackling: So desperate, I'll do it if you go to work without underwear tomorrow. 

PurpleBunny: Do I have to?

PorkCrackling: Go without underwear, send a few pictures for me tomorrow throughout the day.

PurpleBunny: Okay fine, I'll see you Saturday master 💜💜💜

Seeing her accepting the command made you happy, now you just need to wait for tomorrow when you can match her outfits. However your happiness is short-lived as you come home and find your dead beat of a mother puking in your living room. It's not just the stench but the fact that she never cleaned it made you feel icky. This whole house is now just a ground zero for the next plague that would wipe half of the world population. “You, fucking useless bastard”, It's a rare occasion that she acknowledged your existence, something must've happened while you were gone. “Your fucking retarded teachers fucking come here and ruin my fucking day”, A day she spent productively surely. Although, who came to your house earlier today? And why? Is it your new therapist? Is it your new father figure? “Not my fucking fault”, You left her in the living room as she continue cursing you. The next day, need to come sooner.

“Fuck I feel like such a slut”, The idea of going to work without underwear really does feel hot, so even though Eunbi doesn't like it, her lust side just won her over. She tried to wear some baggy sweater to hide her jugs yet it turns out to be a bad idea since her sweater just rubs against her nipple making her body feel hot. The sweater is very thick so her erect nipple doesn't show through it, but it also means she can't concentrate at all due to the never ending stimulation. Just as promised, she sent a few video and pictures showing you that she is following your command. 

Unfortunately you can't check them due to a very pissed off girl. “I hate you so much”, Yujin has dragged you out to the rooftop at lunch to dump all her anger towards you. “Really? So you didn't miss me at all after ghosting me yesterday?” You smiled at her, Yujin grabbed your collar before pushing you to the wall, she's taller than you, well you're pretty short so almost everyone is taller than you. “Fuck you”, It seems one day has made her forgot how dangerous you are, the moment she lock you to the wall you just leaned in and kissed her. The kiss really hit her at the right spot, so despite her hatred Yujin can't help but lower her hand. You did a quick spin and pressed her to the wall this time, your hand slipped inside her shirt and your finger rubbed her nipples through her sports bra. “Fuck, you're such a dick”, She moaned feeling your hand playing with her tits. “Come on Yujin, stop being so edgy all the time, you like me, just admit it”, She looked at you frowning, less angry to you but towards her slow acceptance towards her feelings. 

“You said I ghost you? You didn't even bother contacting me after school”, And yes, she's also angry that you ghost her, and she's angry that she felt angry for being ghosted. She has a lot of issues. “I was busy, okay? Sorry, are you free tonight?” You cupped her face in your hand. “Tonight? Meet me after school”, Yujin is trying not to blush but the warmth she feels on her cheeks is making it hard. “I need to do something first, besides I have a therapy session with Miss Eunbi today”, Yujin frowned before slowly nodding, “Now are you gonna fuck me here or what?” You laughed and shook your head, “No, the teacher gonna kill us, besides I'm hungry”, You let go of her, “I'm not eating with you”, Yujin stomps her feet before storming away.

Thankfully she left you alone for the whole day, letting you check the pictures PurpleBunny has sent you. Excitement flows throughout your body, and you quickly make your way to Eunbi's office. Your heart is beating erratically, take a deep breath, calm down for a second. “Yes?” Eunbi said as she heard someone knock on her door, she opened the door to find you, with your usual distant and bored look. “Oh, good afternoon sweetie, what brings you here?” You flinched hearing her call you, “Am I having a therapy session after class?” Your eyes travel around her body, same sweater, in fact with one of the videos providing a little view of the background you easily match it with the bookshelves she had in her office. 

“Of course, I'll see you after class okay?” Eunbi smiles, then she notices a sudden change in your gaze, some weird sensation washes over her body as if something is telling her to run. “Okay, I'll see you after class ma'am”, A smile forms on your face before you walk away, trying your best to hide your excitement. PurpleBunny is Eunbi, your own fucking principal, holy fuck isn't it exciting? All this time you thought she had hidden her face because she was ugly or something, but no, it was really just for her identity. Fuck she also lied about being a professor, of course she did, it sounds so much worse if a principal said that she got turned on by her highschool students checking her out. God, the world is so small isn't it? Perhaps the universe does have a sense of humour. Actually, you just realised, Eunbi was wearing a skirt, if she's not wearing panties, then wouldn't you be able to sneak some peek later? You should ask her if she's wearing anything underneath there.

PurpleBunny: I think it's a mistake wearing this sweater.

PorkCrackling: It's too baggy, you should've worn something tight.

PurpleBunny: I'm not ready for that 😔

PorkCrackling: You've only sent the pictures of your upper part, let me see you drenching your pants with how aroused you are.

PurpleBunny: I'm not wearing a pants ☺️

PorkCrackling: Oh? You're wearing a skirt with nothing underneath it?

PurpleBunny: Hehehe

She then sent a video of her dripping wet pussy under her table. You weren't focused on her though, you were checking her skirt and sweater, the exact same as the one Eunbi wore. The glimpse of her office is also another proof that PurpleBunny is Eunbi.

PorkCrackling: You're such a slut

PurpleBunny: 😚 Can't wait to see you soon master. I'm so horny right now I feel like we should do something fun tonight 😉

PorkCrackling: I have some plans for tonight, should I bring you some flowers for tomorrow?

PurpleBunny: Hehehe, no, what if you bring me some pork crackling instead?

PorkCrackling: I'll do it, if you bring me a live purple bunny.

PurpleBunny: That can be arranged, see you later master 😘

Finally, school ends, you immediately run to Eunbi's office, she opens the door, seemingly already waiting for you. “Come in, please take a seat”, You glanced around the hallway, there's some teachers walking around, maybe you should stall until they got home. “So, let's start our second session”, Eunbi sat in front of you, carefully crossing her legs to make sure she didn't reveal anything to you. “First off all I should start first, I'm sorry if I may be too intrusive, but me and your teacher Minho have decided to visit your house yesterday”, So it is her, and that weird guy, who probably wants to groom you or something. “I know, did you puke when you walked in?” Eunbi was surprised seeing how nonchalant you are about it. “No, we didn't come in”, She shook her head remembering how awful it seemed inside.

“Oh, must be mom then”, Hearing you talk like this made her feel sad, and you can see it. “Your mom-”, You can't afford to ruin the mood for now, “Is useless yes I know”, You need to stall without really making her feel down. “Right”, Eunbi sighed thinking you're not ready to talk about your mom yet. “Let's start with something else first then, yesterday I had some talk with my brother's friends”, The goal was to stall for time, the hurdle is the fact that you didn't realise how much you actually got impacted by your brother's death. What was supposed to be a long dragged out story about your experiences with him was slowly turning into a trauma dump session. You didn't cry, but at the end of the stories you were so emotionally exhausted that you might as well cry.

“I see, I'm glad you're brave enough to share this story with me”, Eunbi was listening so attentively that she forgot she wasn't wearing any underwear. Your eyes were fixed on her exposed pussy, she was confused about what you were looking at before it clicked inside her head. “So, that was an invitation?” You smiled, Eunbi who already closed her legs was blushing so hard she couldn't even say anything, “My god, the principal is a pervert”, Eunbi cleared her throat before gaining her composure. “So, that marks the end of our session, is there anything you want to ask me?” Her tone is stern, making sure you know she wants you to forget what you just see. “I have one actually, how do you plan on getting a live purple bunny?”

Eunbi was confused at first, then her eyes widened in disbelief. She stared at you with fear and dumbfounded expression, all this time, was it you? “I… I don't know what you mean”, It was the best she could do. “Come on if you want me to bring some pork crackling you have to bring a purple bunny, a live one”, You smile seeing how much she is in denial right now. Eunbi feels her body is drained of energy and life, all the scary and paranoid thoughts start to invade her mind. All this time, she's been having a sexual relationship with her own students. Wait, no she hasn't had sex yet, so it's not sexual, everything should be fine right? But no, even so just the fact that she's a slut behind closed doors could ruin her reputation. Not just her job but her life can be ruined forever.

“Hey, slut”, Eunbi jumped hearing how close you were, she didn't realise you moved next to her already. “N-n-n-no”, You smile seeing how red she has become, your hand grabs her bare thighs, “You have such nice thighs you know that?” Eunbi wants to push your hand away, wait, does she? Because the sensation of your hand really sends some jolt of ecstasy through her body. Seeing her having an inner struggle made you smile, you leaned closer and bite her ears before whispering into it, “Come on slut, let's do it once, you don't know how much I've been waiting for this moment”, Your breath tickles her ear making her let out a moan. “We shouldn't”, She said with a few moans, “No one would know, come on, you know you want this”, Your hand travelled up her thighs, into her skirt and carefully rubbed her wet pussy.

“No, we-, Ahhhhhhh, we can't”, Eunbi moaned again feeling your hands starts to rub her clit, “I don't think you realise, you don't really have an option here”, Eunbi felt her heart drop, she know it's true, if she pisses you off her life can be ruined. Seeing the defeated look on Eunbi's face made you feel even more horny. You started kissing her neck, your hand continue rubbing her clit, “Hhhnnnngggg, fuck, slow down”, Eunbi moaned feeling her body is giving in to her desires. “You’re so wet already, tell me slut, did anyone see your dripping wet pussy today?” You said before you continue biting her neck. “Ahhhh, no”, She moaned,  “You sound disappointed”, You pulled down her sweater, exposing her beast. “Hhhmmm, no I'm not”, You laughed before you move in front of her, “You have such a nice tits slut”, Eunbi blushed again, hearing you say those words face to face really hit differently.

You leaned down, grabbing her boobs and pulling it to your mouth, your teeth sinking into her nipple forcing Eunbi to close her mouth in order to muffle her scream. Your hand slips inside her pussy and starts fingering her aggressively. Your mouth moves to the other tits, wrapping your lips around her nipples and sucking as hard as you can like a hungry baby. Moans and whine keep escaping Eunbi's mouth as she desperately uses both of her hands to muffle them as best as she can. Not long you can hear her muffled scream as her pussy tightens around your finger. Her juices sprays to your hand and drip down the couch leaving stains, you slow down a moment waiting for her orgasm to pass.

“That was nice wasn't it?” You can't help but tease her seeing she's out of breath already, Eunbi bites her lips trying her best not to say yes. Standing up, you slowly unbuckled your belt and pulled down your pants, Eunbi's eyes can't seem to leave your bulge. As you drop your pants Eunbi starts moving closer to you, seeing how eager she is you pull her head and press her face to your bulge, letting her feel your cock through the fabric of your underwear. “Come on, you know you want to”, Eunbi can feel your cock throbbing against her cheek, reluctantly she pulls down your boxer and immediately her face was hit by your erect cock. “Suck it”, Her eyes are mesmerised with your dick, her nose is inhaling the musky smell it gives and unconsciously she starts to drool.

Eunbi's hand gently wrapped around your cock, she sticks out her tongue and slowly licks the tip of your cock. All her moves were so sensual and careful as she was too scared to do something wrong. “Don't be too shy now, you've practised for this”, You caressed her cheek making her feel embarrassed and also a little giddy, she nods her head before taking your cock in her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it as her gaze is fixed into your eyes as if she was pleasing for some kind of appreciation. Slowly she lowered her head, taking your cock deeper into her mouth inch by inch. Your precum starts to leak down her tongue, the taste was heavenly for her and she starts to suck on your cock expecting more. Through some great effort she managed to swallow your whole cock down her throat, her tongue continuing licking your shaft, tracing along your veins.

“Good girl”, A look of happiness can be seen in her eyes before she quickly hides it, her head starts to bob up and down slowly. With every passing moment her move got faster and sloppier, her spit drools down her lips and coated your cock making her release some wet sounds every time she slammed her head down your shaft. Her eyes start to water, messing up her mascara as your hips start to follow her rhythm. From time to time she will stop at your tip and hungrily suck on your leaking precum while her hands start to massage your balls trying to milk them out. This is it, this is the slut you've made for the last month and she is perfect. Her eyes never leave yours even for a moment, Eunbi can't tell why, but she just feels like she needs to keep eye contact. 

“Ooohhhh fuck, you're so good at this aren't you?” Hearing your compliments made her legs start to squirm as her pussy starts to drip more juices to the couch. Her moral dilemma has become an afterthought as a new idea came to her mind. As long as she can continue pleasuring you then she can make sure you won't tell anyone about this. It was nothing but a pathetic rationalisation of her lust. Yet she doesn't care, now she only needs to focus on pleasuring you, every flinch, every moan, every grunt that you made is sending jolts of excitement throughout her body. “Ahhhh fuck Eunbi, I'm cumming”, The moment she heard that Eunbi immediately pull up her head leaving only the tip of your cock in her mouth. One of her hands starts to jerk your cock furiously while the other one is massaging your balls, feeling your hot sperm swimming around inside it. “Fuck, take it slut”, You grunted as you feel your sperm starts to shoot inside her mouth. The thick and warm cum floods inside her mouth coating every inch of her inner mouth. The taste was addicting to her, she felt desperate for more so her hands jerked you off even faster trying to milk every last drop of your cum.

As your ejaculation passed, Eunbi's mouth was filled to the brim with your sperm, some starts to drip down her lips. You pull your cock away watching her savour the taste of your cum in her mouth. Seeing that she's being watched Eunbi opened her mouth showing you that her tongue is playing around the pool of cum you've made in her mouth. “Drink them slut”, Eunbi closed her eyes as she swallow them, she can feel the thick concoctions travel down her throat leaving a warm sensation through her body. “Hhhnnnngggg”, A moan escaped her lips as her eyes rolled to the back of her skull. You glanced down to see that she's having another orgasm and starts to squirt all over the floor. “Fucking hell, did you got even more pent up ever since you meet me?” Eunbi heard your question but she was too preoccupied with her own orgasm to acknowledge it. As soon as her orgasm passes, her hands start to clean up the sperm down her chin and lick them up hungrily.

When she finishes that she looks at you hoping for more, like a good little slut that she is. “Spread your leg”, You start stroking your cock preparing it for the next round. Eunbi immediately spreads her leg, her hand can't stop from fingering herself seeing your cock is regaining it's might. “Tell me how much you want it”, Eunbi felt her body quiver hearing how demanding you're being. “Please, fuck me already”, She moaned, her hand continue fingering herself while the other is playing with her breast. “Come on, you can do better than that”, You move forward and runs your cock in between her fold, “Master, please give me your big girthy cock, I need you inside me”, Her eyes is looking st you desperately as her body react to your cock rubbing against her pussy.

Without any warning you suddenly plunge your cock deep inside her all the way to the base. The sudden intrusion made her body jerked back in response followed by a pained groan. Her walls tightening around you and enveloping your cock with her warmth. Her body shakes violently as loud cries escape her lips. You immediately took your boxer and shove it to her face to silence her down as she went through yet another orgasm. Eunbi bite down into it as she continue groaning, you didn't bother to let her have her orgasm peacefully and just start fucking her roughly. In Eunbi's mind her lies crumble down, she can't say she's doing all this for her own reputation when her body is screaming in ecstasy like this.

Eunbi throws away her moral dilemma, it doesn't matter anymore, the only thing that's important right now is you. She wants you, so what if you're her student and patient. “Fuck, you're still so tight after all those training I gave you?” You grunted as you continued pounding her, Eunbi felt happiness grow inside her seeing how much you're enjoying her body. “You're so big master, those toys can't compare to you. Fuck me harder, ruin me please”, She moaned before biting down on your boxers again. Her nose keeps inhaling your scent as she falls deeper and deeper into depravity. Your hand grabs her hips and starts to move her body as if she's just a sex doll. Eunbi feels so helpless in your arms and it excites her, she needs to stop herself from screaming from time to time.

Every time your hips crashed on to her you see the impact send a jiggle through her body. Her tits bounce up and down as you continue pounding her even harder. Eunbi who's lost in ecstasy suddenly woke up by the sudden pain on her tits as you slapped it hard. “Ahhhh, master”, She whined, but honestly, she loves it, “I know you like that slut”, And you know it too. Your hand slapped her other tits and she let out another moan. The two of you start to get even louder as every time you slap her Eunbi starts to lose her self control more and more. At one point she let out a loud groan so you grabbed her neck and choked her. “You need to quiet down slut”. At first it was frightening, the pain that suddenly attacked her neck, then she looked at your stern eyes and she couldn't help but to get turned on even more.

“I'm sorry”, She squeal out, but you didn't let go of her neck, in fact you strangle her even harder as you fuck her faster, your other hand move to slap her ass while. This whole thing was too much for, her tongue sticks out of her mouth as her eyes are just rolling to the back of her skull yet again. Her saliva starts to drip down your hand as you see her face start to turn pale. Seeing Eunbi so lost in her own ecstasy from the pain made you feel victorious, made you feel the need to place your flag on this hill. “I'm cumming slut”, Eunbi nodded as tears started to fall down her eyes from happiness. You thrust deep into her, her walls tightened around you, pulsating in a way to milk every last drop of your cum. The ejaculation closes your mind as your hand starts to strangle her for real this time, cutting off her windpipe. Eunbi grabbed into your hands as you let out a groan and unload your sperm inside her. The warmth in her stomach, the stinging pain in her ass and tits alongside the fear of death due to your strangulation send Eunbi to another orgasm. So what if you accidentally choke her out for too long, with all this stimulation she doesn't mind dying in ecstasy.

Thankfully you notice your hand gripping her neck too tight before she passes out. As soon as you let go of your hand Eunbi starts to breathe frantically, her face flushed red as oxygen finally starts to stream back to her brain. “Fuck, I'm sorry”, You said panting hard from the intense orgasm you just had. Eunbi just smiled at you as she coughed, “It's… fine…” It seems like you ruined her throat a little bit. Then you pull out your cock letting your sperm drip down her pussy, you look around her office before throwing some tissues to her. Eunbi who is already drained of energy tries her best to wipe the sperm that's flowing out of her pussy. Meanwhile you're busy cleaning yourself and dressing back up. As you finish sitting in front of her again, Eunbi sees that you're already dressed so she fixes her outfit again and sits up straight at her sofa.

“I'm sorry about that”, You started off, Eunbi doesn't really mind now, but she appreciates the gesture. “I know this relationship is a bad idea, especially since your reputation is on the line”, Eunbi also appreciates that you acknowledge the risk she's having, but she doesn't like where this conversation is going. “So I'll delete all those pictures and videos, we can pretend this, all those chats, let's just forget them and pretend it never happened”, Eunbi felt like a cold water just splashed over her. “Oh, right”, Pretend like this never happened, that's what she wants right? “I thank you for being a counsellor and therapist for me, but if you don't mind can you refer me to a different therapist. After all, this whole thing might affect our therapy session”, Now it felt like a block of ice just pressed on to her body. “I….-” You shake your head, “I say we pretend like this never happened, but there's no way we can loom each other as a normal therapist and patient after this. So please, refer me to another one”, Hearing how adamant you are with this made Eunbi feel deflated. “Of course”, She stutter out, “Then, can I ask for one last thing?” Eunbi nodded as she tried her best to hide her disappointment and sadness.

You leaned closer and kissed her, Eunbi felt her breath stop the moment her lips touch yours. Her body slumps down making you hold her by the shoulder so she wouldn't fall. Eunbi felt your tongue slither into her mouth, her tongue meekly following your lead as she was savouring the taste of your saliva. How does she know what your saliva tastes like? Don't think about it. “Haaaa, Haaaa, Haaaa”, Eunbi panted as you break off the kiss, she looked at you pleading for more. “Just a little souvenir for what we had”, You smile at her before leaving her alone in her office. Eunbi watches you leave, her body is screaming for her to jump and grab your back, to stop you from leaving, but she didn't, she just sat there silently. When you get to the door you look at her one last time, you see a glimmer of hope rise inside her, then you smile and get out of her office, leaving with the memory of her face filled with disappointment and longing. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Left alone in her office, Eunbi felt distraught, seeing you left just like that is just wrong. The moment you two had was short but she can't believe you will just forget it like that. The worst part is she thinks she knows you enough to understand that you're being genuine. The two sessions she had with you make her think you really just disconnected with people that you can just cut her off like that. The unending lust and depravity she has for PorkCrackling is slowly combining with the motherly care and genuine affection she had for you. No, she can't let you cut this off just like that. It doesn't matter if her reputation is on the line, she needs you. She needs your body, your dominance and your sex drive as your slave. She needs to guide you to open up to people, to let you share your burden and get past your traumatic broken household as your therapist. She needs to help you, as much as she needs you to help her.

PurpleBunny: Can we meet up tomorrow?

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

im so immersed in the nct frat universe, i love the way you write everyone!

how did fratboy doyoung and sunshine meet/get together?

(in case you missed the fic, this ask is referring to)

Oooooh! Okay, I've been thinking about this sent I got the ask notif, here we go! This is how Sunshine and Doyoung meet!!!!!

Sunshine is an art major with an emphasis in drawing/painting! (Her real bread and butter is painting but she takes the drawing classes to fulfill her degree requirements)

TLDR; Doyoung spontaneously goes into a student art gallery, falls in love with a piece of work, and meets you

To this anon specifically, I want your feedback because I just KILLED this! Muah, enjoy!

Anyway! One night, Doyoung was leaving a meeting with one of his professors while it was already dark. As he was walking across campus, he kept seeing a pretty steady stream of people heading in the same direction. He gets to a crossroads. He can keep going straight, he can go back to the frat house, he can keep stressing over his assignment, and walk into the chaos that is surely waiting there for him. OR! Or he can make a slight left and head toward this brightly lit building on campus that he's never been in, but where people keep entering.

Figuring he's in need of a break and he's slightly curious, he heads into the mysterious building and finds that it's a student gallery. The walls hold different medias: drawing, photography, charcoal sketches, some podiums cold pottery and ceramics projects that he knows he's not capable of. He's always been a very science/math minded person (I have yet to figure out his major, but he's def STEM coded for this) so the art stuff has never been his strong suit. He's never been able to get his mind to understand the hidden depths of some art. How can anyone notice the minor details and the hidden meanings or themes? Why can't he do it?

But he keeps walking around. He clears his mind and doesn't force his brain to look for some kind of hidden code that he can't crack, he looks at the skill of the art. He can admire the strokes of the pencil, the angle of the camera, the lighting in the pictures, the stray finger print left in the clay. It's really what his mind needed to just relax, to focus but not in a stressful way.

Then he comes along the last wall in the gallery. A wall filled with paintings big and small, but he finds himself drawn to the biggest one there. The blend of the colors, the meticulous stroke of the brush. He's never been particularly moved by art, but he is now. Maybe his past self would have said there was nothing special to this piece, but him now, he just can't look away. He stands there for what has to be at least 20 minutes, taking in every detail his eyes can focus on. Where the red and yellow meet and aren't blended completely, where the oil based paint is raised in some areas and how the shadow of the light that beams down on the canvas creates depth that just fits perfectly. He likes how the edges of the canvas are more messy, more sparse with the strokes of the brush, details that were likely forgotten, but his eye picks up on.

He's still staring, still mesmerized when you speak up beside him, gentle and soft so he's not startled, "it's oil on pure cotton canvas. 36 by 48 inches."

Doyoung swallows and nods. He doesn't know what that means. You could be telling him this was painted with dollar store paint on scraps of receipt paper stuck together with gum and he'd still like it. He nods, blinking but not looking away from the canvas, "it's wonderful."

"Thank you," you reply, and his brain reboots. Thank you. Are you... did you paint this? You're the artist of the first and only painting— the creator of the first thing in a long time that's made his brain just... calm down.

You continue, looking at your own work, "I'm glad my two and a half months of work have paid off for at least one person. My professor said I was being too audacious for choosing a canvas this big. It's my biggest piece yet, but I think it was worth it..."

"It was," Doyoung quickly adds, tearing his eyes away from the painting for the first time to look at you. "This is the first piece of art ever that I have actually stood and enjoyed in the way that was intended. I always felt like my brain wouldn't be capable of this, but here I am."

You perk up, turning to him with a bright smile, "that's an amazing compliment. Wow! I can't believe my work was the catalyst for this!" he finds his face turning into a soft smile as you wiggle happily and continue, "I think that's the best compliment I've ever received."

You extend your hand and introduce yourself, Doyoung does the same. Despite how clean you look, how proper and poised, he can't help but notice the paint under your nails and specks on your fingers.

After a way too long handshake, he drops your hand and puts his hands behind his back. He feels like he's just itching to feel the warmth of your hand and the feel of your fingers in his again.

You're still smiling brightly, riding a high from his compliment. You giggle to yourself and he finds himself smiling along even though he doesn't even know the joke yet. You turn to him and wiggle your brows playfully, "are you interested in purchasing Mr. Kim?"

His eyes follow your finger to the small placard just to the right of your painting where he finally finds the name of the artist, you, the name of the painting, the description, and the price. Close to a thousand dollars which he certainly doesn't have just lying around waiting to be spent on art.

Or does he? He has the space on his wall in his room. Maybe he could give it to his parents for safe keeping until he gets his own place. His train of thought is interrupted when you place your hand on his forearm. His hand flexes but his eyes find your face again. You smile warmly, "I was teasing. It's a lot of money. I think it's worth less, but..."

Doyoung wants to argue that he thinks it's actually worth a whole lot more, but he doesn't. He smiles back and laughs it off with you, though a piece of him does already miss this painting. "I guess I'll just settle for a picture for now," he breathes out.

He has to step all the way back until his back is pressed against the wall six feet away from your painting to get it all. He takes a ton of pictures, making sure the lighting is just right. Then his eyes dart over to you, waiting on the side, watching on proudly. His cheeks flush, "maybe one with the artist in it too?"

You scurry to the side of your painting, head held high, a smile on your face so big that Doyoung imagines it must hurt. He probably ends up taking more pictures of you and the painting than he did of the painting alone.

He leaves that night with just one word echoing in his mind. Someday. Someday he'll buy your paintings, someday he'll buy every single one of your paintings. As he walks home, he can't help but look down at his screen, at the picture of his favorite painting, and of you. And maybe someday he'll have you too.

The picture of your beside your painting becomes the background on his phone when you two get together and he never changes it. His other favorite pictures of you and your art work get their own respective widgets on his screen.

[webslingingslasher]

can you please give us something angsty between ethan and trouble? like how ethan texts her and she ignores the messages during the breakup. or when they run into each other in the cafeteria and trouble pretends he’s not there and walks away despite he’s calling out her name. the way trouble no longer crochets because that was her thing with ethan and it feels strange to pick up the needles and it makes her miss him.

*cleaning out my drafts!*

ethan is peter's best friend and by default, he owes you nothing.

you were a friend for the moment but once you and peter ended, so did the alliship. ethan didn't get that in the memo, but he's never made a friend through peter and lost her through him too. he keeps thinking everything is normal, like there isn't a giant peter shaped hole in the fence.

'hey, so i was thinking we could have a little study sesh at the library?'

'i'll rent out a room. and it would be just us.'

'obv.'

you miss him too sometimes. but he chose peter by default and you don't condemn him one bit for it, ally did the same with you. peter was ethan's friend first, so he should still be one when you walked away.

peter doesn't talk to ally anymore either. both friends became constant reminders of what you had and lost.

it might be a text message but you can hear ethan's voice in your head, he sounds defeated.

'i'm guessing that's a no.' you never open them but he knows you read them. it doesn't surprise ethan, you've ignored him since you dumped peter. he just never expected to be dumped too.

'i miss you.'

'i just wanna hang out with you again.'

'and if you don't want him around either that's fine with me.'

'i'll fly you somewhere in my private jet.'

'damn it. i was really hoping for a "you have a private jet???" response.'

'it's a yes btw. just because i know you're curious.'

'well, actually, it's my parents but you always say that's the same thing.'

you watch each notification appear and disappear. your teeth dig into your bottom lip to stop a smile, you can't go backwards. if you're around ethan it leads to peter and you can't do that.

ethan didn't realize there might be a reason why you haven't been texting him back, but he does now. what if you weren't replying because you weren't seeing them? he thought you were just ignoring him but it's been weeks of silence.

'did you block me too?'

he hopes not. he really, really hopes not. ethan knows why you pushed him away, he's just upset that he didn't get a say in it. ethan's never been able to tell you how sorry he is on behalf of his best friend and how he doesn't want to lose you over his idiocy.

you frown at the message, restraining your impulse to text him back, you hold your breath and wait for another message.

it comes two minutes later and your entire heart shatters.

'crochet buddy?'

you haven't been able to look at your basket of hooks and yarn, it feels wrong to finish your pig. you told ethan you kept messing up on the ears and he said he'd do them for you. he never got the chance. you wonder if he finished his lizard tail.

your thumbs move before your mind can stop you, not that it would. you had to tell him the truth, you can't have him wallow and sulk over you.

peter might deserve it but ethan doesn't.

'it would surprise me if you didn't have a private jet.'

'hey!!!!!!!!'

'don't leave yet pls.'

'let me take you out to lunch. we can go to the village or brooklyn.'

'i promise he won't find out.'

'please?'

'i miss my buddy.'

you think it's almost as painful as splitting from peter. ethan is peter's best friend and you can't get in the middle of that. it'll hurt peter just as bad and while part of you wants him to be hurt over you, you don't want to use ethan as the pawn to do it.

you back out of the conversation, lock your phone, set it down, and grab your unfinished pig before curling up with him for a nap.

---

ethan doesn't eat in kayte hall. you know he doesn't eat in kayte hall because you ate in cathedral hall with the sig nu frat.

used to.

you switched to kayte hall two weeks ago, it was an extra five minute walk but it was done with the purpose to avoid situations like this.

you try to move discreetly, it doesn't matter, he clocked you the second you sat down. you can't abandon ship, he's sliding in the seat across from you.

'you're avoiding me and i really hate it. you made me stoop so low i had to get a pledge to track you down for me.'

you're not going to give him the silent treatment, that would be plain rude.

'are you admitting to stalking me?'

'i'm admitting that i instructed someone to stalk you. are you flattered? you should be.'

'why aren't you at cathedral?'

'because you don't eat there anymore, duh. can i have a grape?' you hesitate before sliding your tray halfway up the table, he takes three.

you listen to the purple crush between his teeth, ethan looks a bit more serious after he swallows. you look at your cup, his stare makes you feel guilty.

'look, let me get this out of the way now so we don't have to talk about it again. i don't know all the details, park- peter hasn't really opened up to me about it.'

you swallow tightly, this is exactly what you didn't want to happen.

'from what i know- or pieced together, he disappointed me too. i'm sorry for whatever he did and i'm sorry it hurt you enough that i was caught in the crossfire, but between us, when i'm with you, he doesn't exist. this is the last time i'll ever talk about him, i'll offer you the same courtesy and we won't bring it up again.'

ethan's saying all the right things, you softly shrug. 'what's the courtesy?'

'you can ask me about him if you want to. it'll stay between us, i promise.'

the peter floodgates burst open, you'd done your best to push him from your mind but now you have the opportunity to indulge. you nibble at your bottom lip before looking up at him. ethan's smile is gentle, he's trying so hard for you.

'how is he doing?' from the little rumors you've heard it doesn't seem too good and the harsh bruise splattered across his jawline last week didn't do him any favors.

'um,' his smile tweaked, it's worse than you thought. you know it's bad because ethan's trying to find a way to be honest but not worry you. 'he's okay.'

'please be honest.' you know you ended it, you know it's real this time and you know part of you wants to hate him but if he's really down bad, you might have to give him a visit. ethan takes a deep breath and leans in closer to the table.

'yeah, he um, he kind of tanked. he's not himself right now. he's skipping chapter meetings, he's missing classes and if he's home, he's barricaded in his room or drinking.' your heart sinks, you're not hungry anymore.

'does he miss me?' you almost feel embarrassed to ask. ethan doesn't find the question pitiful, he's just glad you're talking to him. 'bad.'

it's brutal on your end too, but he sounds worse than you. at least you can get through the emotions of your day to day. you wish you could say you won the breakup but there's no winning.

'has he...'

you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer.

you still ask it. 'has he hooked up with anyone else?'

'no.' you believe him because he said it quick and with certainty. you nod slowly, it was the answer you wanted but it still didn't feel good.

'is he still going to the parties?' ethan shakes his head, 'i haven't seen him at any.'

'but he still has you, right?' if you didn't have a small support system you would've lost it ten times over by now. peter doesn't have a whole lot but one ethan overpowers ten mediocre friends.

'i asked if he wanted to talk about it, he said not really, i told him i was there for him and he said thanks. there really hasn't been much else, he's just been really quiet.'

ethan is all peter has, you can't rip that away from him. it would be evil to pollute the one thing he still had, you walked away from him and you shouldn't take his friend with you. plus... how could you move on if you have the peter encyclopedia at your fingertips?

'at least he's not crying.' you end it with a half laugh, half hum. it's sad all around and you're trying to lighten the mood, ethan avoids eye contact and your palms rest on the table.

'ethan.'

ethan's not sure if he is or not. he hasn't heard him but there are some days peter would shuffle out from his room for a water or snack and his eyes were a little red. there was evidence of crying but no tears, so he can't say with certainty but he knows.

'i don't know.'

it made up your mind. you can't do this to peter, you can't sneak around with his friend when he's still trying to mend what went down. you grieved the end of your relationship when you were with him, calling it quits was hard and it still is, but you were prepared. peter was caught off guard and he's still analyzing everything that went down, you know he is.

'so... are we cool?'

'of course we are, you were never a problem, ethan.' he looks relieved, releasing a sharp sigh he rests his hand over his heart and smiles brightly. 'oh thank god, i really missed you. so, are we done with the peter talk? are we ready to schedule our next crochet date?'

oh. he must've misunderstood you.

'no, we're not... we're not hanging out ethan, i just wanted you to know i didn't have any bad blood against you.'

ethan's not a mean person and you've never seen him mad at someone but he's hurt and his arms cross over his chest with a sneer.

'why am i being punished for what he did?'

'you're his best friend, ethan.' it's a statement and fact. it also has everything to do with you ghosting him. 'you were my friend too.' it's a raw confession, you can't look at him when he's this sad.

'i know i was. you were mine too, you still are. it's just different now and i'm not saying we can't be friends, but i think it would be better for everyone if we just took a break from each other right now.'

'it's not better for me. everything is weird right now, my best friend is a shell of the person he used to be and my other one pushed me so far away i was convinced she forgot about me.'

'it feels like i'm being iced out from all sides.' he's much sadder when he adds that on. you feel for him and you hate that you're part of the reason he feels excluded.

'i'm really sorry you feel like that, ethan. i promise it won't be forever, but i have my mind made up and no matter how many times you say please, it won't change.'

you're not sure if things between you became really quiet or if the dining hall doubled in sound. ethan's trying to come up with the right combination of words but nothing's good enough to make you come around on the idea.

If please doesn't work, he might have to force you.

'okay. i'll stop asking you to hang out with me.' he sounds fine with it, you're a little suspicious but he might've just wanted to talk to you, even if it was a formal goodbye.

'but i should go now.' ethan pushes against the edge of the table to slide out from his chair. his words are short but his tone is happy, you stare at him extra hard before nodding.

'i'll see you around?'

ethan sends a wink your way, 'see you later.'

---

the contents of your backpack are all over your bed, your phone nowhere to be found. you retrace your previous steps, you had it at lunch and you swore it was in your outer pocket at the library but after that it's blank.

it was either lost or stolen. your entire life was on it, you don't even have a way of telling everyone you lost it. you recheck your bag two more times even after holding it upside down, then fill it back up while giving yourself pity.

you wallow in it for ten minutes, not even a minute after that your roommate rushes in the door with her own phone held out. 'it's ethan.' you reach for it without thinking but pause before you can fully grab it, ally shakes it towards you. 'he said he has your phone?'

ally's unaware of what's happening and is being as helpful as she could but all you're thinking about is when and how he took it. you press her phone to your ear and ask him where your phone is, he plays dumb.

'i'm not fucking around, ethan. this isn't funny, i need my phone.'

'you left it behind at butler, it's a good thing my pledge found it for you.'

there was absolutely no chance of you leaving it, you clench your jaw and try to restrain yourself from throwing a million mean chirps. he sent someone to rob you.

'you stole my phone? why the fuck would you steal my phone?'

'oh, i didn't steal anything. you should be thankful one of our guys found it.'

'found it in my backpack?'

'did he? hm, interesting. but, hey! it's here and it's safe.'

'great, bring it to me.'

there's a pause on the other line, ethan sucks air in through his teeth. 'sorry, no can do, buddy. looks like you'll have to come get it.' your mouth parts in shock, that was the plan? forcing your hand to hang out with him?

'absolutely not. just meet me at kayte.'

'another no go, my friend. i'm stuck here and so is your phone.'

'you're not stuck anywhere, except in a house with my ex.'

'he's not here.'

'i don't believe you.'

you can picture ethan holding his phone into open air, he sounds far away when he calls out 'parker!' there's a solid ten second gap before he sounds crystal clear again. 'see? no threats.'

'ethan, please.'

'just come over, i promise it'll be fun.'

your eyebrows furrow, he thinks it's a game. 'no, nothing will be fun. this will be a business transaction and i'll be out of there in ten seconds.'

'so it's a yes? you're coming over?' if ethan had a tail, he would be wagging it. his plan worked and you're falling right into his hand. if it was anything else, you'd say fuck it and move on. but ethan took the one thing he can hold over your head and you both know it.

'i don't know how, but this is a rich asshole thing and you're being one.'

ethan ignores you. 'make sure to bring your crochet hooks!'

'i'm not doing that.'

'that's okay! i have a bunch of extras.'

'i mean it, ethan. i'm not hanging around!'

'what's that? sorry, you're breaking up on me. we should finish this conversation in person... okay, bye!'

the call disconnects suddenly. you stare at the black screen and take a deep breath to secure your thoughts before making a trek across campus.

---

'give me my phone.'

ethan ignores you and points to his bedside table, there's two waters and an entire box of grocery store cookies. 'here, come have a snack.' he drops his crochet tub on the edge of his bed. 'i got some new yarn, look at how soft it is.'

everything about it was a ruse.

'im serious, ethan. give me my phone.' he sighs and gestures to his desk, he keeps pulling out hooks. 'it's on my desk.' you search the surface, it's extremely tidy with no hiding place.

'no it's not. where is it?'

'hm... i must've misplaced it. i'll help you look in a second.'

if ethan wants to play dirty, you have no issue getting in the mud. you grab a small succulent from his windowsill and raise it next to your head.

'give me my phone, ethan.'

you're fighting fire with fire, ethan eyes his plant in your hold but keeps a straight face. 'i forgot where i put it.' if that's how he wants to act, you have no choice but to follow through on your actions.

you drop the mini cactus, the pot shatters into a dozen pieces and soil spatters around the floor. ethan falls to his knees and screams 'no!' at the plant guts covering the ground.

'she was a kid, you monster! she did nothing to you!'

you grab the matching pot that was next to it. 'give me my phone or the sister gets it.'

'i refuse to negotiate with a terrorist!' you're breaking him, you can see he's hesitant to refuse your compromise. 'i'm sorry you feel that way.'

the clay pot falls just as quick, it lies in a broken heap next to it's twin. ethan acts like he's been shot, a throaty yelp was produced while he delicately held the cacti in his hands.

the plants were fine, all you did was bust the pots. and while breaking personal property was a bar too low for you, you know he has at least a dozen more just like it in his closet.

you look up at his door to watch it crack open, it's a swift movement but it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. you try to back up as quick as you can but you're cemented to the floor and all you can do is stare at the face coming through the door.

'what the hell is... hey.'

you swallow hard, he looks how ethan said. just a shell of what he once was. all you can stare at is the purple bruise on his cheekbone, your heart pangs when it's reminded it's not your job to care about it anymore.

you point at ethan who suddenly is really quiet.

'he stole my phone.'

peter nods slowly before peering down at the mess around your shoes. 'did he give it back?' you shake your head, you feel like a tattle tail, especially when peter looks down at ethan and tells him to give your phone back.

ethan pulls it out of his pocket and hands it right over, your jaw drops and you frown heavily at him. 'you do it when he asks but not me?'

'he'll beat me up, you'll just unhouse my plants.'

'peter would never beat you up.' therefore, his excuse is pointless. ethan disagrees, his eyebrows almost hit his hairline with how confident you are. 'over you? he'd fucking kill me.'

you wait for peter to tag in, you know something is brewing in his mind. something like 'damn right i would,' and you'd follow up with something about how he's actually a big baby and he'd say something like 'only for you' and you'd... but that's not real life anymore and he stays silent.

he's probably confused and a little hurt you're hidden away in ethan's room, you feel the need to apologize even though you're not sure why you're sorry.

'i'm sorry, peter. i tried telling ethan that we should take a break on our friendship but he won't let it go.' you threw him under the bus in a second and you don't care, from the looks of it neither does ethan.

'you can be friends with ethan. you should be friends with ethan.' it's the first time actually talking with him since the break up and it feels weird, he's too formal. he's being kind and reserved, he's pliant and you need some bounce back to feel normal.

'you always said i needed to unfriend him when we were together.' you might've tossed a taunt at him, you wanted a reaction. you wanted your peter and throwing the break up in his face might do it.

it works, his eyebrows furrow while his stature hardens. 'i said a lot of shit i didn't mean when we were together, trouble.' you point at him, your tone ice cold. 'don't.' you refuse to acknowledge the small spread of warmth at the nickname.

'you like ethan, ethan likes you. you guys are good friends, why should i fuck that up? i ruined enough shit for you. the least i could do is give you ethan.'

ethan could speak up to make a joke about how it's like he's a child of divorce or that he's a person, not a piece of property but it feels like you're both having a moment that needs to happen. even if there was a weird energy he was picking up on.

your eyes narrow, he's doing this for reasons beyond being a good person. you know him well enough to know that he has something up his sleeve.

'i can think of something else i'd rather you give me.'

you can see the heat brewing behind his eyes, you got him right where you want him. peter uses his serious voice, the one he uses instead of raising his voice but still demands your attention.

'we're not talking about this here.'

those two sentences just told ethan that whatever you were insinuating was what ended the relationship and peter's very upset stance solidifies his opinion.

'oh, trust me. you're not talking about it at all.'

'we're not unpacking this in front of ethan. i'm on my way out anyway, hang out with your friend.' peter tries to step past you but you circle around to step up with him and block his exit, his chest brushes yours for a second and it takes everything in you not to wrap your arms around him and sink your face into the body you once found homely.

'liar.' he doesn't want you to hang around and he wasn't leaving. you're met with a heavy sigh. 'yeah, probably.' you can't stop yourself, you lightly poke his chest and peter's head drops so he can watch your hold stick longer than it should've.

'be honest.'

'you might be ready to cut the cord but i'm not.' he'd rather keep you in his life as a tie through ethan no matter how sore it was. if you had ethan you'd never fully lose him and that kind of promise is the only thing he wants right now.

'neither am i.'

peter stares at ethan, 'shut up.' he's shunned into silence. you're starting to understand why peter said he wasn't going to unpack anything here, you look down at your hands and play with a ring on your finger.

you think peter wants to talk about it civilly but you don't think either of you are ready to do it yet without hurting either person's feelings even more than they already are.

but having ethan around is a nice way to keep peter close without damaging your healing.

'okay.' you take a deep breath and glance at ethan, who's still pouting on the floor keeping his eye line from peter. 'i guess we can hang out.' he lights up in a second, looking between you and peter in case either one of you vetoes it.

neither of you do.

'sweet! i have to repot these but i have some new templets in my basket, so if you want to pick one out and start i'll just catch up later.' you nervously look towards peter and immediately dart away when you make eye contact.

turning your back on him slightly, you feel a little better. there's something about him that makes you feel jittery, like when you were the first couple times you met up with him alone.

'i don't think being here is a good idea, maybe we should just stick to my dorm?'

'why? parker said he was fine with us hanging out.'

'because maybe parker was being nice and doesn't actually want to see me here?'

peter can speak for himself, and he'll use the correct name. in case you forgot. 'peter, is just fine with you being here. the only sucky part is knowing you hate me.'

you think he might be baiting you now but you can't help but set the record straight. 'okay, hold on now.' you speak very clearly towards him, you're not about to let him twist your words.

'i am a hundred different emotions towards you right now but i don't hate you. i think you know that, parker.'

'okay,' it's full of sarcasm. 'you have a goodnight, trouble. i'll see you later.' you bite your tongue and let him leave, if you didn't, you'd be making subtle shots at each other all night.

'your best friend is a dick.' the second you're alone. ethan shrugs, 'you were into that at one point.'

'no, no. if we're going to be friends you only ever sympathize with me about him, you're not allowed to bring up anything i did in the relationship.'

ethan has a pile of soil and a pile of shattered clay, you feel obligated to help him clean up. 'and for clarification, i'm supposed to sympathize with your ex boy toy when i'm with him?'

'absolutely not. you're on team me at all times. shame him if you have to.' the broken pieces land in his desk trash can. 'is this where i have to remind you he'd kick my ass?'

oh, you missed and loathe this so much.

'you're so whiny, clean quieter.'

'is it too late for you to ghost me again?'

'that's it. clean up your own mess, i'm going to make a crochet snake and not because it's the easiest but because that's how you're acting.'

ethan snorts and nods towards his wicked wicker basket of yarn, you're already eyeing different greens. 'be sure to make one for my twin next door.'

you do.

you leave it outside peter's door and while ethan never confirmed it, he knows you're the one who made it.

and it sleeps on his nightstand next to him every night. 

[sugarlywhispers]

ex!b.katsuki x reader ; m.izuku x reader — bakugou cheats on his gf, with midoriya's girlfriend.

☆– warnings; ANGST. mention and description of panic attacks, swear words, cheating (bakugou to reader; uraraka to midoriya), description of a fight. But it ends in fluff~ c;

☆–a.n; honestly, i don't know if i'm going to add another chapter... i still have a bit more of ideas for this, but i don't know ._.

in the meantime, i hope you liked this new part! <3

also, i hope ya'll have a wonderful beggining of 2024!!! may this new year bring lots of good thing for everyone, lots of love and adventures, new amazing things and wonderful people to your lives!

love ya'll so much, wish you all ALL the good things life can bring; no more tears, except happy ones. <3

A few weeks go by, and Midoriya and you keep in touch, texting almost everyday. Talking about random stuff, important stuff, whatever the mood is. But it's mostly cute, random stuff, getting to know each other kind of feeling. It's funny how you both have been around each other for so long and did not actually know one another. 

The texting was cute. Like a picture he sends one afternoon, when his shift is calm and almost finished, when the sun is setting, taken from up high in a building. A beautiful sunset picture that you use as a lock screen wallpaper on your phone. Or that one selfie he sent when he shared patrols with Hero Shoto; you remember thinking how cute he looked posing next to the hot and cold Hero, with two fingers of one of his hands pulled up on a peace sign. Or a picture of a little puppy Hero Deku found on a rainy morning shift. He took it to the closest vet so they could help the little animal, and you find that so fucking heroic it makes your heart jump from the cuteness.

"I wonder… who has you smiling like that? Oh , I know… Mister Greeny," Mineta mocks, his eyebrows shaking up and down suggestively.

"Shut up," you bark and hit him on the upper arm strongly. He simply laughs.

Three months pass faster than you actually realize. You're better, you feel better. You haven't had a single panic attack since Midoriya Izuku entered your life. Which is good… it means good.

He is good.

Since that first Friday you grabbed coffee together, you both decided to make it your day. Each and every Friday morning, Izuku and you would go to grab coffee at that same shop you went to the first time; then he would walk you home as the gentleman he is.

It's Friday and you're waiting for him, it's a bit late already, but you know he is coming. He had a night patrol but he insisted to not break the new tradition - his words. You found it cute, so you didn't protest.

But now you're worried, because it's almost 30 minutes since you have been waiting and he hasn't come yet. Then it becomes 40, 45, 50 minutes. You feel your neck itchy, but you try to ignore it, looking at your phone. Waiting for a notification, waiting for Mid‐ Izuku to contact you. But nothing.

It's already been 1.10 hours long and no sign of him. You sigh and decide to go home, it's been more than an hour already. Probably he had something coming up at the last minute, or he simply forgot. He probably had a rough night and he didn't have time to meet you. You're not as important as his job, obviously.

You grab your things and exit the place, the kind girl behind the counter smiles sadly at you and waves her hand as goodbye. You smile, or at least try, in her direction and leave the coffee shop.

You feel itchy all over. This… This is… weird . Why are you feeling like this? You have no right to feel… disappointed, hurt . He's a Hero. He's freaking Number One, pro hero Deku. His job will always come first. But you can't help it. It's like…

You're not my priority, Y/N. Understand that you'll never be. I have to concentrate in my job if want to fucking be Number one.

You haven't heard his voice in your head for a long time now. And hearing it again is… painful. Hurting. Choking .

Every sound around you feels a hundred times louder as you walk, every light blinds you and you don't realize you're bumping into almost everyone around. The pressure on your neck is getting stronger and you can't breathe. You can't think. Your vision is turning black, like that night at the ramen shop with Mineta. A panic attack . You're having one in the middle of the street. How embarrassing . How pathetic . 

You want the blackness to finally evolve you, and don't let go.

And then you see it, you feel it. Green eyes and strong hands grabbing your shoulders. You know those green eyes, you have seen them before. He's moving his mouth but you can't hear his voice. He looks worried; why is he worried? You feel rough hands that grab your face as softly as he can, and they are cold. You aren't used to the cold, but you like it. It's refreshing.

"...hear me? Y/N, please breathe, okay? Breathe with me," his voice is comforting, so you follow him, you breathe with him. "That's it… You're okay. We are okay."

The sight around you starts to clear, the blackness dissipates and you see clearly. His face is the first thing your eyes find. You know him. "Izuku?"

" Yes! Yes, it's me… Hi, love," he smiles relieved. You look around realizing you're in the middle of a circle, with him. People are watching, some worried, some annoyed. Embarrassing .

You realize then that Izuku's hands are around your face, holding you with no intention of letting go. "Izuku…"

He blinks, realizing then probably your surroundings and nods. "Yes, come one, let's go…"

Izuku helps you stand, his arm surrounding your waist pulling your weight on him so he helps you walk. Everyone starts clapping, clearly recognizing hero Deku even in his civilian clothes.

He walks you to your apartment in silence. Until you walk into the building, "There's no elevator?"

"No, it's been broken since before I got here," you know your voice sounds throaty, and the expression on his face says it worries him.

He sighs looking at the long stairs ahead. He knows you live on the fourth floor. "Okay, then," he says before picking you up, bridal style.

"Izuku! I can walk!"

"No, you can't. You have been putting your weight on me the whole way here."

"Still, I…"

"Shut up. Let me help," his tone it's so authoritative you have no other option than to do that. Shut up and let him help, because you know you wouldn't be able to climb those stairs up on your own even if you tried.

On the way up, you can't avoid watching him. He looks… angry . You have never seen him like that, or better said, you have never experienced his anger, you have seen him angry on the TV, fighting villains.

"I'm sorry," you say, and he stops midway, his eyes traveling to your face.

"You're apologizing for having a panic attack?" He's frowning, his tone incredulous, but serious. It makes tingles run your body.

"I'm… Yes, it's embarrassing ," you feel your voice crack a bit, and you hate that.

"Y/N, it's not embarrassing. It's a trauma response. And it's okay to go through it. But you need to heal…"

You look away from his face, tears already burning your eyes. You can't help but hear his voice again.

Having panic attacks in public is embarrassing, Y/N. You have to control them. Don't be fucking weak.

" He said… he said they were embarrassing."

You know you shouldn't be saying this to Izuku, but you said it even before you could actually think it.

" Who said-…" Izuku stops mid sentence. Takes a deep, deep breath, and continues climbing the stairs in silence. You don't dare look up. He's so tense and angry, you don't really have the courage to witness that right now.

When you arrive at the fourth floor you signal him which one is your apartment. And even when you are in front of the door, he doesn't put you on the ground. He stands there, waiting patiently, as you search for the key card on your bag and when the door is open he enters with you in his arms. He of course takes his shoes off at the entrance and walks inside.

He doesn't say anything as he sits you over the small couch and sits next to you, his arm touching yours and taking almost all the space around you. His smell is around and you like it.

His face is even closer to yours when he asks, worried, "When were you going to tell me you have panic attacks?"

"I… I don't want to bother anyone with them." You tell the truth. You can't lie to him.

"That's what he told you? That they are a bother?" You simply shrug, not really wanting to answer. "Y/N, I'm not angry or feel like this is a bother. I'm worried, you need help."

"I am going to therapy. I've been going since I'm five, Izuku. I had a handle on them, they weren't recurrent until…"

"Until he left you," he finishes for you, slightly shaking his head and you nod.

Izuku sighs, standing up and you watch him. Is he going away? Is he embarrassed and going away, deciding not to involve or do anything with your broken self?

"Do you mind if I make us both tea?"

You shake your head rapidly in answer. He smiles and walks towards the kitchen. You follow his every move, being a small apartment it's easy to do it.

Izuku is… staying . For tea. He's not leaving. He's not leaving you alone after a panic attack. Like Mineta. But he's your best friend, Mineta has always been there; like you have been there for him even after the war he had to be part of at such a young age and he tried to push you away. Izuku doesn't have that obligation. Izuku… is your friend? Well, that's how you like to think of him since you got to know him this past months. But the category of best friend was not there for him yet. You were just getting to know each other. So, why is he here? Why does he stay?

"It's ready," he suddenly says, sitting back next to you with the two mugs of tea. He gives you one and you accept it a bit startled.

The sudden smell of lemon with honey tea that invades your nose as you bring it closer to drink immediately relaxes you. You smile after taking a sip.

You look back at him and he's watching intently at you, like he's waiting for your reaction.

"You remembered," you say and you really want to cry now.

He smiles, a hand flying to the back of his head to scratch it nervously, "You said it was your favorite."

You did. On a text message, when the topic was favorite drinks . But the fact that he remembered that you said it, it is… overwhelming.

Silence again. On your part it's more relaxed, but you can feel him a bit anxious. You decide to give him space, time to say whatever it is that it's inside his mind.

Until he does.

"You're not the only one… struggling still… with all that happened." He says as he sets his mug on the little coffee table in front of you. It's very small, mostly for decoration. Only space for the two mugs you're using at the moment. Izuku then lays his elbows over his knees, fingers fidgeting in the middle clearly showing his nervousness. "I have nightmares. Very bad ones, since the war. Uraraka used to help a lot, she was always there for me when I needed her."

This is the first time he talks about her this willingly, so you just keep silent and give him the space he needs to say whatever he wants.

"I was finally getting better… and then… she wasn't there anymore…"

"The nightmares came back?" He simply nods. You can't help yourself but to direct your hand towards his shoulder in a form of comfort, which he accepts with a small smile.

"I guess… we are two broken people, trying to pick up the pieces left. Aren't we?"

His eyes shine with tears he refuses to set free, probably also what your own looked like. He smiles sadly at you, before patting your hand that still holds his shoulder.

You both stay in silence for a little while before Izuku breaks the silence again.

"I'm sorry about today. I had…" He sighs. "I had a discussion with a partner."

Partner? You know Izuku doesn't have many partners. One is Hero Shoto, who also is his best friend. You doubt he had a discussion with him, you couldn't actually see Shoto in a heated discussion at all. And the other one is… Oh .

"What did he do now?" You don't even have to mention his name. You and Izuku know who you're talking about.

The green-haired man rolls his eyes. "We have been civil. For the sake of everybody around us. And if I'm being honest, we work well together. In fights, we understand each other perfectly. So we decided to just be professional and not bring up anything that happened."

You know this. Izuku had already told you this once, when he called you on his lunch break to talk to you about a cute little butterfly that he would send you the picture of when he was less busy and you heard Bakugou's voice on the back calling for Izuku. They had been on a mission together.

"Until…" Izuku continues, "Until this morning, when he decided to bring up our Friday morning's coffee."

" What?! " You frown. How did he know? Nobody knew, besides Mineta and probably Shoto on Izuku's side. Nobody else knew… unless…

"Paparazzis discovered us. I don't know how. I'm always careful when meeting you. I take a lot of turns and I disguise myself the best I can so they don't recognize me. But they found out." He sighs, a hand sliding his green and black curls back. "They released an article yesterday. About us."

Izuku takes out his phone, searching for something before showing it to you.

NEWLY BACHELOR, NUMBER ONE PRO HERO DEKU, FOUNDS NEW SWEETHEART?

Yes, my readers, this is apparently what it looks like. A young, pretty lady like this caught the attention of the Symbol of Hope quite fast, if you ask for my humble opinion.

We don't have much information about her, sadly. Only that this lady has our favorite Pro Hero on her clutches... Look at the way he looks at her in the following pictures!

Isn't it cute? Let me be honest, as a fan of Deku myself, I can't avoid feeling a bit heartbroken, but I also think that this man deserves all the happiness anyone can give him. Don't you agree? And after that sudden break up with Pro Hero Uravity that caught everyone by surprise, makes me think… Does this lady have anything to do with it? Did she catch Pro Hero Deku's heart from before, causing the break up? Mmm, so many questions, readers, that we don't have the answers yet! But no mind, we will try our best to find them! Be patient, and in the meantime, show a bit of support for our favorite Number One Hero.

You feel like vomiting. Your picture, clear as day, has never been on the front page of a magazine. Bakugou has always protected his privacy so meticulously, and that included you. The media and his fans knew he had a relationship, but he never let anyone get a glimpse of it.

And here you are now, on the front page of Go-zzip Hero magazine, the picture showing you sitting in front of Izuku in that coffee shop, talking so close to his face it practically looks like you're kissing. Oh, shit . You do that? You actually speak that close to him??

You swallow thickly, looking back up at Izuku.

"I am so sorry, Izuku, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know. None of us did. But I'm sorry I wasn't more careful…"

"Don't be silly. This is not your fault."

"Yours either."

You both smile shyly at each other. This is… chaotic. Being involved with him is… OH, SHIT.

"What? What is it?" He asks as he sees your eyes open wide in fear.

"Your fans are gonna kill me..."

"No, they aren't…"

"Yes, they are! Oh my God!" You stand, after putting your mug over the table next to his, a bit wobbly on the legs which makes him react fast to hold you if you fall, but you don't. You start walking one way to the other of your small living room. "I'm so food for the fishes… they are going to kill me!"

Izuku chuckles. "No, they aren't, Y/N…"

"Don't laugh! Yes, they are! Especially after what that journalist said! They even hinted that probably I was the reason you broke up with Uraraka!"

"Which is not true. I'll call my manager and PR team and ask for an interview with the magazine and clarify this. You don't have anything to worry about. Neither does Mineta. I'll clarify that we are just friends…"

That makes you freeze in place, frowning. "Mineta? What does he have to do with this?"

Izuku frowns too, looking confused at you. "Aren't you… Isn't he… Aren't you dating ?"

"WHAT?!" By Izuku's flinching, you realize you raised your tone a bit louder than you intended. "Sorry…Mineta is my best friend, Izuku. He's like a brother to me."

Izuku looks so confused, "But… But you always speak about him. He cooks for you, he is… he is here almost everyday for you, and he did all that stuff to piss off Bakugou for you, like a…"

"Like a brother would." You smile. "I do think that somehow our souls are connected, because I know I could leave apart from anyone, except him . He's that annoying sticky thing you get used to living with and don't want to unstick, because if you do something will miss. Because he's my brother. I wouldn't be able to live without his annoying ass." Izuku laughs with you. You walk back to sitting next to him as silence comes back. Then, you keep talking, "Mineta has been there when I had no one. Even when we were five years old and my parents died in a car accident, provoked by a hero-villain fight." Deku tenses, but keeps his attention on you. "We used to play heroes when we were kids and fantasize about how we were going to be Number One. Both of us, together. And then the accident happened. I was left alone. I didn't have much family around, only my old great-grandma that was barely suitable to raise a child. So I was given to the state. I went to an orphanage."

You don't know why you're baring your soul to Izuku like this. This was a painful, very intimate part of your history nobody knew but Mineta. Not even Bakugou knew. He never insisted for you to tell him. He simply accepted that you were Mineta's best friend, end of sentence. He never questioned anything. Now you wonder if that was a good or a bad thing.

"That's when your panic attacks began?" He asks a bit timidly. You nod.

"It happened that same day, when I was given the news about their deaths. A kind lady had been there with me, explaining what it all meant. She was kind, but she didn't have much experience. Imagine walking into a room as a kid where your parents are lying dead in two stretchers and being told these are your parents and you're not gonna see them anymore ." Izuku flinches again, a chill clearly running down his back. "A few hours later, I had my first panic attack. I lost consciousness for almost an hour. It was the longest one I ever had and doctors were worried not enough oxygen had gone to my brain, considering that even when I woke up I wasn't talking to anyone."

"Until Mineta and Auntie Asiki came to see me at the hospital. The second Mineta lay down next to me in the hospital bed, I started crying, and he held me. We were kids, not knowing anything about life, and he still understood that I needed him. Auntie Asiki offered to bring me home with her and Mineta, but the forms to the orphanage had already been filled and accepted. It would take a lot of money, lawyers and procedures to let her, a single mother, take my custody. And while her heart and intentions were hugely appreciated for even thinking about it, it was impossible."

"I didn't know Mineta's mom was a single mother." Izuku frowns, probably guilting himself about it, because of everything they, as class A, had been through their years at UA.

"He doesn't like speaking about it. He really has to trust you to tell you about it."

Izuku nods, instantly respecting that decision. He then scratches his neck again. 

"So, you and him are not…"

You chuckle. "Not even if he was the last man on Earth." Izuku laughs too.

" Ouch , that wounds me so deep, bun," Mineta's voice is heard from the entrance as he walks inside your apartment.

Shit , you haven't heard him at all. The worry on your face is visible, because you have been talking about him, about his private life, and you hadn't consulted him before. You feel so bad, so worried he'll get mad at you.  

Mineta sees you and simply shrugs, "It's okay, bun, I trust Midoriya." He then winks at you and you feel the worry disappear completely.

"Thank you, Mineta. I promise I won't speak about it to anyone."

"It's okay," Mineta answers Izuku, pulling his thumb up in his direction. You smile watching their interaction. "I'm not here though to have this conversation." Your best friend gets closer to where you are, a worried expression on his face. "I was told you had another one, in the middle of the street.." You sigh, looking down at your hands that lay in your lap. "Was it because of him again?"

You nod and Mineta is the one who sighs this time.

"About Bakugou?" Izuku asks then, frowning.

You nod again. "My therapist is helping, but yes, they appear after I remember something, random things he once had said to me."

"Why it doesn't fucking surprise me…" Izuku barks as he stands from the couch and walks, just like you had moments ago. Mineta opens his eyes wide, watching amused at Izuku's reaction.

"He's such a fucking jerk… But we already knew that, didn't we?" 

Izuku immediately agrees with Mineta.

"I should have punched him harder," Izuku's comment makes you choke on the tea you were about to swallow.

"You what?!" Both you and Mineta speak at the same time. You look worried about the whole situation, the discussion clearly hadn't been a simple one if there had been fists involved. Mineta looks like a kid given the awaited present on his birthday.

"What really happened, Izuku?" You ask, worry clear on your tone.

"He saw the article, clearly. I came back from night patrol and was changing in the locker rooms, the whole night shift was there preparing to go home at the same time the morning shift was getting ready to start their patrols. And he started making comments about you and me, about how I apparently like his leftovers, about how you are a gold digger and now went for me."

"He did not fucking say that!" Mineta stands up, ready to beat some ass, Bakugou's, specifically.

"He did! I couldn't not do anything. I tried to be civil and only told him to stop talking about us, that he didn't know anything. And I told him to stop playing the victim, because he was none. The only victims in this story are you and me," Izuku looks at you like he's assuring you, "They don't have the right to even comment on this." 

"Hell yeah, Midoriya!" Mineta cheers, raising his hand for Izuku to high five him, and the green-haired does, animated. You shake your head trying to hold your smile back. "What did corn-head say then?"

Izuku laughs at Mineta's nickname for Bakugou, bumping his fist again with the man in agreement.

You roll your eyes. Jesus , men are such idiots with nicknames. 

"He then said that… I don't know if I should repeat it…" Izuku and Mineta both look at you, Mineta already intuitively knows.

"He talked… he talked about our sex life, didn't he?" You ask after a minute of silence.

Izuku nods.

"Tell me you did punch him hard though…" Mineta is fuming, you can see the smoke coming out his ears, metaphorically. 

"Of course I did. Twice, before someone pushed me away."

"Well done, man." Mineta high fives Izuku again.

"You shouldn't… you didn't have to…"

"I won't let him or anybody speak about you that way, Y/N. Now that I know all you've been through, I won't even give them a chance to."

You move before you think, again. One second you're seated on the couch, and the next you're hugging Izuku. Arms around his neck strongly, as your face hides in your arm and his shoulder. It takes him a second, but he reacts by hugging back, strong arms surrounding your waist as delicately as he can, but also firm and securely.

You heard Mineta walk out of the living room towards the kitchen to entertain himself with anything.

And you feel… safe . You feel so safe in Izuku's arms, it's so comforting and nice.

You feel him take a deep breath over your head, as if your smell was comforting to him. You like that idea. That at least in something so insignificant like your smell, he finds comfort and peace. Relax and ease.

"Thank you, Izuku," you whisper only for him to listen.

He shakes his head, "You have nothing to thank me for."

"I do, though. Not only for those punches," you say backing away just a bit so you can see his face. He smiles proudly at the mention of the punches. "But because you helped me with my panic attacks… Twice."

"Twice?" He asks confusedly, but you nod.

"The first Friday we went to have a coffee, remember?" He nods, "I was waiting, and because it was my first time out of my apartment without Mineta I was feeling overwhelmed and… and then you appeared at the door. And all I felt was relief… I felt safe with you there, so it stopped even before it began."

You are looking at his eyes, and you can see the emotion in them as you speak. He then rests his forehead on yours and takes a deep breath, clearly pushing his emotion back in so he can speak.

"I'll be there for you… I want to be there for you, if you want me…"

"I want you," you immediately answer, "I want you to be here."

"Then I will."

"I also want to be there for you," you scratch the back of his head softly, as he bites his bottom lip, taking a deep breath. He looks like he's trying to control himself from doing something then and there, and that makes you smile.

"I want you . I want you to be there too." He repeats your exact same words, making you feel tingles all over your body as you feel his fingertips caress lightly, timidly, the bit of skin showing at your waist.

"Then I will."

You feel him moving, his nose caressing yours in a cute manner. Slowly getting closer, lips barely touching and…

"Sorry to be a cockblock, but your phone is ringing, Midoriya."

The bubble is popped , so you both back away, clearing your throats and fixing your clothes out of nervousness.

"Oh, yeah, ummm…" Izuku walks back towards the kitchen to search for his phone. "It's Shoto. He's probably heard already about the fight this morning. I should pick this." You nod, signaling to your room for his privacy and he thanks you as he walks there.

Your eyes follow him until the door is closed, and then they go towards the kitchen, where Mineta is standing, hip against the counter and a bowl of snacks in his hands he found somewhere, eating them slowly as he looks at you accusatory. A knowing smirk in his face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything… yet."

You roll your eyes. "Spit it out." You walk towards him, picking some of the snacks on the bowl and eating.

"I have nothing to say, Y/N."

That's impossible, he always has something to say. 

"Or should I call you Ms. Midoriya from now on?" 

Ah, there it is.

You punch him in the arm and he laughs out loud.

PART I - PART II - PART III

[navybrat817]

Meet the Parents

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Summary: Bucky wants to make a good impression when he meets your parents face-to-face and a bit of awkwardness ensues. Word Count: Over 2.9k Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, second-hand embarrassment and cringe, loving and oversharing parent, slight feels (it’s me, okay), Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Stud meets your parents in person! Oh, boy. ❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly and divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky was excited to finally meet your parents. You didn't get to go home often since your family lived far away, so the short trip was special for you. It was a big deal for him, too. Though he saw them on video chats here and there, this was the real thing. A chance to show that he was serious about your future together.

I have to make a good impression.

He also wanted to get a glimpse of how his hopefully future in-laws acted around you and to see how love looked in your family. You warned him that they might tell an embarrassing story or show him awkward photos and he was more than looking forward to it. Those very things shaped you into the woman he fell in love with.

“You nervous?” you asked as he helped you out of the car. “You didn’t say much on the drive here.”

Of course, you’d pick up on that. “Nope,” he said, which wasn't a total lie.

“Careful before your pants catch on fire,” you teased, running a hand along his cheek. “They love you. They have from the start. Remember when we had our first chat?”

“I remember,” he gently smiled.

Your mom and dad were a little concerned in the beginning when you said you were moving in with him. He didn't blame them. If it was his daughter moving in with a guy she didn't know, he would've had a lot of questions. Your parents felt better after he suggested having a video chat. They trusted your judgment and they trusted him not to hurt their daughter.

I'll never break that trust.

“And please remember that I love you, Stud.”

Bucky turned his face so he could press his lips against your palm, thankful that you always knew what to say to soothe him. “I love you, too, Smartie.”

“There they are!” your mom called from the doorway, your dad right behind her.

Bucky straightened up and took a step back when your mom went to you, both of you shrieking with happiness. A smile spread across his face and he could tell that you got some of your friendliness and mannerisms from her. Which is why it didn't surprise him when he received a crushing hug from her a moment later.

“Welcome, James,” your mom smiled. Both of your parents called him by his first name and he didn’t mind. “It’s so nice to see you.”

"It's nice to see you, too,” he said, giving you a thankful glance when you grabbed the flowers and bottle of wine from the car. You told him they were her favorite and he refused to show up empty handed. "These are for you.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” she said, taking them with a kind smile as she stepped back to get a better look at him. “My goodness, you're even bigger in person.”

“And you wondered why I called him ‘Stud’,” you teased, sliding your arm around his waist.

Bucky puffed his chest out a bit when he caught the adoration in your gaze. He was certain his eyes reflected the same when he looked your way. While he did want your parents to like him, it was your opinion that he cared about.

“And it’s no wonder our daughter can't keep her hands off you, James,” your dad said when he joined you, clapping Bucky on his shoulder with a chuckle and snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Dad. Could you not?” you calmly asked.

“What? I half expected to see you with a baby bump when you got out of the car.”

Bucky went rigid with an awkward smile, unsure of how to respond to your dad’s comment. On the one hand, he was right. Neither of you could keep your hands off each other. Hell, you flatout told your parents the two of you were sharing a room if they expected you to stay at their house. But making a family with you? He wanted to more than anything, but what did your parents think?

Is he going to kill me if I get you pregnant one day?

“Please, stop. I love you, but stop. We just got here,” you said, giving your mom a pointed look when Bucky stayed silent. Instinctively, he pulled you closer. You didn’t get flustered easily, but he knew your little tells.

“Don't embarrass her. We talked about this,” your mom hissed before she smiled again, your dad holding his hands up in surrender. “I wish we could’ve had a chance to meet Alpine in person.”

You sighed, grateful for the switch in topic. “Me, too, but maybe we can bring her next time. I’m sure Steve will spoil her rotten until we get back.”

Both of you missed the little ball of fur, but his friend was quick to send him photos.

“Well, we’re glad you could make it and perfect timing since we just finished setting the table. I know you two are probably tired from the trip, but how about resting after you eat?”

“That sounds great,” Bucky said, turning to get the bags from the car.

“Why don’t I get those?” your dad offered. “You two go in and get settled.”

“Thanks, Dad,” you smiled as you pulled Bucky along. “I’m sorry about the pregnancy comment. Hopefully that’s the end of it.”

“It’s okay. It doesn't bother me,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to your temple. He knew the topic itself didn't bother you either, but you probably didn't want your dad to bring it up before you walked into the house. "You okay?"

“I guess I'm a little more nervous than I thought. I haven’t really brought a lot of guys home, so this is kind of a big deal,” you explained. He understood how nerve wracking it could be.

“How many guys have you brought back here?” he half teased, asking to both make you smile and to see if he had anyone he had to measure up to.

No, don’t think like that.

“The number doesn't matter because they weren’t special. They also weren’t and aren’t you.”

Good answer.

“Now let’s go eat. Mom will be sad if we don't,” you said.

“I wouldn't want to upset either of the ladies of the house,” he said, kissing your temple again. "Dinner will be great.”

Right?

Bucky couldn't recall the last time he was in such a cozy place. The welcoming ambience made him want to curl up with a book and relax. It was no wonder you carried that warmth over to the apartment. You even allowed your dad to brag about your accomplishments that lined the hallway wall with your photos over the years.

Should be proud of yourself, doll.

Just like your friendly and thoughtful personality, Bucky could see you got your love of cooking from your mom. She prepared a feast for the two of you in the dining room, a mix of both of your favorite things, and added the flowers he brought to the middle of the table. It meant a lot that she took the time to make something he would enjoy. And seeing you chatting with your parents over a nice meal, he could picture the same with the two of you in your own home.

With a large kitchen to slow dance in.

“Mom, I don’t think I can eat another bite,” you teased when she tried to give you another dish.

“Then we’ll have plenty of leftovers,” she teased back, offering it to Bucky instead. “If memory serves me, I believe you mentioned the two of you like to cook together.”

“We do,” he confirmed, graciously helping himself to more. “We switch off some nights if she’s studying or I’m at the shop late, but it’s something I look forward to.”

You smiled tenderly as you reached for his hand across the table. “I do, too.”

He gently squeezed it and kept hold of it while he ate. You were noticeably more relaxed and he was enjoying himself. He was glad things were going well.

Your dad gestured to him after a moment. “James, I meant to tell you when you arrived that you look very nice.”

“Oh, thank you,” he said, glancing at himself. He opted for a nice button up shirt. Nothing too fancy or too casual and it had your seal of approval.

"You always look handsome,” you smiled.

“But he looks much more comfortable than that turtleneck he wore on our last video chat,” he added.

Bucky almost dropped his fork when you dug your nails into his skin. The two of you had a heated makeout session before the last call and you left a noticeable hickey on his neck. The only thing he could think of to do at the time was wear a turtleneck, but he couldn't stop messing with the collar. It was a nice reminder of why he hardly wore them.

“It was a little itchy,” Bucky said.

Your dad hummed and took another bite. “You know, I remember when I was your age the only time I'd wear a shirt like that is if my wife got a little ‘over excited’ if you know what I mean.”

The fork fell to the plate, the sound echoing in the room.

Way to play it cool.

"Why?” you and your mom asked at the same time.

“Did you give James a hickey?” your dad replied as you sank a little into your seat. "You did."

Your mom shot him a glare. “What did I say about embarrassing your daughter?”

“What? It was just a question,” he said, pointing at you with his fork. “I had to wear a turtleneck in the middle of the summer the first time I met your grandparents. Your mother was quite the-”

“I don’t want to hear this!” you cut your dad off, looking to Bucky for help.

Say something.

“So, like mother like daughter,” Bucky blurted out, that awkward smile spreading across his face again when you gawked at him. Why did he say that? “Not that! I mean, well, you did say she couldn’t keep her hands off me. She's extremely passionate.”

“This is my nightmare,” you muttered.

This is also my nightmare.

“What I mean is they're both so lovely and have big hearts, which means they love big and sometimes that love translates to…” he continued, coughing into his hand when you stepped on his foot. He used to be charming at one point in his life. What the hell was happening? “But not that I would know what you did or didn’t do while you were dating. That’s none of my business.”

Stop talking.

"Oh, it’s not just dating, James,” your dad said as he took another bite, seemingly amused by the conversation. “The trick to keeping her happy is to keep the romance alive. Like the night my wife and I made our lovely daughter. It was so beautiful.”

“Stop!” you begged, clutching his hand even harder than before. He tried to run his thumb along your palm to soothe you, but you weren't having it. “Forever stop that story, please.”

Your dad looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh before your mom stepped in. “Go check on dessert,” she ordered.

“But I was going to tell them about-”

“Dad!” you almost shouted, taking a deep breath when it got quiet. “This is our first dinner together with the four of us and I don't want it to be the last. So, can you not scare my boyfriend off? Please?” you asked in a softer tone, your voice cracking on the last word.

Please, don’t cry.

Bucky leaned forward in his chair, sensing that you were dangerously close to tears. “Hey. I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.

I’m right by your side.

To your dad’s credit, he immediately got up from the table and kissed the top of your head when he realized this wasn't funny to you. It didn’t matter how much you had grown, you were still his baby. “I’m sorry I went a little overboard. You forgive me?”

You still looked about a half second away from bursting into tears, but you gave your dad a small smile. “Forgiven,” you mumbled.

"Now go get dessert ready, dear," your mom said, sighing as he left the room. “James, I'm so sorry if my husband made you uncomfortable. If it's any consolation, he’s comfortable talking to you because he likes you.”

Bucky nodded slightly. That was a good thing. “That’s nice to know, Mrs.-”

“Oh, please. You don’t have to use ‘Mrs.’ with me. There’s no need to be formal,” she assured him.

“Well, thank you all the same for your hospitality.”

“Of course.” Her eyes flickered to you with a grin. “Anything for the person who my daughter is so passionate about.”

“Mom!” You let out an exasperated laugh. At least you weren't crying. “I thought you were on my side.”

“Oh, I am,” she winked. “And don't worry. I won't ask about my future grandchildren today.”

So, I am allowed to get you pregnant if we decide to go that route.

“BOTH of you are ganging up on me. This is why I never brought guys home,” you said, facing him with a shaky laugh. “Will you just dump me now and get it over with? I'll just hide in my room until I can find a new place.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped, having to grip the table with one hand and hold himself back from jumping across the table to snuggle you close. “What? No, I'm not dumping you.”

"You're not?”

"Of course not. I think it's an unwritten rule that everyone gets one mortifying moment involving a significant other," he said.

I'm counting on it with Rebecca.

"He's right," your mom smiled.

"And me dump you? Shouldn’t you dump me after that…” he tried to find the right word. “Rant about how ‘lovely’ you are?”

“I’m never dumping you, Stud. You’re stuck with me,” you said. Just like you were stuck with him. “And you really think I'm lovely and have a big heart?”

“Of course, I do, Smartie,” he smiled. He'd compliment you for the rest of the evening if it made you feel more at ease.

Your mom watched the two of you with a loving smile before she stood. “Sweetie, why don’t we kick your dad out of the kitchen and get dessert ready ourselves?”

“Sure, mom,” you smiled, reluctantly letting go of Bucky’s hand. Before your mom led you out of the room, you went around to give him a kiss. "I demand cuddles after dessert, smooth talker.”

Thank God I'm usually smoother than that.

"All the cuddles you want,” he said, loosening the top button on his shirt once he was left alone. That was not how he expected dinner to go. In hindsight, it could’ve been worse. At least your dad didn't stab him.

Speak of the devil.

“Surprised those two didn’t kick me out of the house entirely,” your dad joked as he went back into the dining room and took a seat. “I really am sorry, James. I hope my sense of humor didn’t offend you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It takes a lot to offend me,” Bucky said.

“I know how much my daughter was looking forward to this. We’ve missed her here,” he said, a wistful look crossing his face. It was evident how much your mom and dad both loved you. The house was brighter because you were in it. "And, believe it or not, I was a little nervous to see the man who stole her heart."

“I was nervous to meet you, too," he admitted. "I really care about your daughter.”

“She cares about you, too. I've never seen her so happy.”

That comment gave Bucky the confidence to speak, glancing at the doorway to make sure you weren’t coming back just yet. “I know you and your wife just met me in person today, but your daughter is the best thing to ever happen to me and I want to ask you if-”

“Let me stop you right there.”

Bucky’s mouth shut as he deflated. Of course, it was likely too soon in your dad’s eyes to have that serious of a conversation. It wasn’t too soon for him though. He loved you.

“If you're asking for our blessing, you don't need it. You already have it,” your dad said as he held his breath. “Because if you really care about my daughter the way we think you do, you know she'll follow her heart since it belongs to you. As long as she's cared for and happy, we're happy because that's all we want for her. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for her.”

The weight Bucky felt in his chest lightened with each word. “That’s all I want for her, too. And I will spend the rest of my life making her happy."

Your dad nodded, a bit of shine in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “You take care of my little girl, you hear me? Love her the way she deserves?” he asked.

“You have my word,” Bucky promised.

With his mother’s ring and your parents' blessing, he was ready to take the next step and hoped that you were ready to walk along that path beside him.

So, when do we think he'll put a ring on it? Love and thanks! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[heesuits]

cry baby - lee heeseung ♡

paring: co-worker!heeseung x reader

genre: soft

! the song lyrics are mentioned at some point.

wc: 3k+

.

Closed your notebook and stretched your spine... Just finished studying for today, your fingers feel stiff from all the writing, maybe they could even get cramps later. You've been having some online classes at night from different subjects to complement your degree and just got really immersed in it for a couple hours now. You lay your head back at the chair and look at the side glancing at your phone, completely forget about its existence, stretch out your hand to grab it... 10:02 p.m, some notifications and three unread messages:

[8:47 p.m.] heesu: hey wyd :)

[9:12 p.m.] heesu: are you there?

[9:46 p.m.] heesu: there's just something I wanna talk to you about, don't want to bother okay? nothing urgent don't worry, text me back when you can...

Heeseung is a friend from work, you've been working at the same shift for about 3 months now and he kind of makes your days easier with his periodic jokes. Even though he is a shy person overall, you found it funny how it looks like people are always looking for him, trying to find a thing to talk about and make the hours go faster, but you don't judge them, he's definitely a good listener and the big shiny eyes make it easier to know that he's truly paying attention to the issue. But when it comes to the introvert chart you're a full #1 and he's around a #2, cause he often comes to you with some random vent about his life, his meals, his gaming, his love affairs, and you usually just listen carefully and show interest in his matters, rarely opening up about anything, but you can swear he's too good with conversations and still get some facts from you sometimes...

He even caught you crying from stress once, you were hiding at the staircase and he just sat by your side and stayed there for a while not really saying anything but take your time, once you looked done from the crying session you two just got up and went back to work and later that day he brought some chocolate, giving it to you like some sort of secret weapon, claiming that it would help. It surely did. And you've never talked about it but you could feel like since then you've definitely become friends somehow, the atmosphere between the two of you have changed, he always notices when you are having a bad day and keeps looking for alternative ways to help you go through it, and you know when he's just tired of being the listener and needs to open up.

You didn't know what the messages could be about, it's monday, you were working together hours ago and had no other choice than to meet again tomorrow... "I was kind of busy when you texted earlier, here now, what's the issue?" You replied, locked the phone and put it in your pocket. Headed to the kitchen to fill in the water bottle, you were feeling kinda hungry so just got an apple to eat when you felt the phone vibrate, someone is calling, you read the name on the screen: heesu... that fast? Can't help but wonder if there was something happening and just picked up...

"Heeseung? Hello?" he never called before, ever...

"Hi... First of all you're a really bad emergency contact..." he didn't have a worrying tone at least, just the usual.

"And what's the emergency you're needing to contact me about?"

"None actually... did you still not unpacked your bag after work yet?"

"Umm, no... nothing to get off of it today, why?" just too curious at that point.

"I left something there, was wondering why you still didn't say anything about it... go check and then you talk to me okay?"

"I'm not working from home don't even try."

"It's not about that I swear, it's a surprise, cmon go see it."

"Okay mystery man, I'll follow your instructions."

"Bye."

As soon as he hangs up you almost run upstairs to check on the bag, leaving the water bottle and forgetting about the apple... What could it be? A present? A gift card to get some coffee? A prank? Heeseung often handles you pieces of paper during the shift, some just written [I'm bored x.x] sometimes complimenting your different hairstyles [nice buns :D], [cool bangs u.u], [fluffy ponytail ;D], thought it could be one of those and he just made it dramatic to be fun. You found it, now almost sure about the random piece of paper theory: An envelope, locked with an emoji sticker that I gave him some weeks ago cause you recorded yourself unboxing some stationary in your close friends and he said that he liked it. You sat on bed and opened it... Chocolate! And a... handwritten letter? Your face is confused, you tilt your head to the side and go straight into reading:

—

Hello there :D (I've never written a letter)

Is my handwriting readable? Hope so...

Where to start from?... I think I worry a lot... I've got this anxious feeling but it goes away for a minute when I'm with you. When it comes to you I think I talk too much and try too hard, I want to listen more. When we talk throughout the day there's this feeling of "I know I'll fall in love with you, and that's not what I wanna do" I can taste my heart breaking from the thought of you saying that you know it... but those are just my anxious thoughts and at least I should be honest and give you the opportunity to know about my feelings and decide about yours by yourself. Every single new thing I learn about you makes me hope that there's some more time to know much more, to fall some more. I swear I wanted so hard to shake my fears away and open up to you about this in person, but as my voice fails courage I hope my writings at least let you feel my honest intentions... Oh, right, the point of the letter...

Would you give me permission to know more about you, and fall even harder? I promise I won't be your cry baby.

[ ] yes

[ ] no

From: Lee Heeseung

—

You get up and grab a pencil to mark your choice, get your phone to take a photo and send it to him without any text or context...

[ ✗ ] yes

[ ] no

—♡.

[94blazed]

OBSESSION

PART 2

WC: 13.5K

Genre: smut. fluff. crack. angst. (switch pov)

Rating: M (minors dni)

Warnings: dom jk, rough sex, detailed smut, oral, toxicity, cursing, choking, slapping, spitting, nipple play, hickeys, unprotected, fingering, multiple orgasms, cock warming, simps, obsession, slight yandere, dirty talk, depression, alcohol; consumption.

Summary: Seven wednesday jungkook. You and Jungkook have been delusional about each other your whole lives, but when Jungkook is off the market, you start to wonder if it was all just one-sided. After the break-up with sohee, you became friends with benefits right after a simple hookup, but when he receives a text from his ex..

a/n: final part of the two part series! - no hate to sohee this is fiction! enjoy ! :D

TAGLIST : sign up here

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Jungkook received a notification.

- unknown: Do you like her?

- JK: who is this?

- unknown: Sohee.

- sohee: Y/N, do you like her?

- JK: why are you asking me this?

- sohee: because I still want us.

Jungkook pauses for a moment to glance at you, but you were too busy looking at the movie.

- JK: how did you get my number?

- sohee: how about you?

- JK: what?

- sohee: do you still want us?

- sohee: come outside.

Jungkook looks at you for a moment before he opens his mouth. "hey, I'll be right back. The pizza got here." you furrow your brows a bit, you could've sworn there wasn't a knock at the door, but he must have used the app, so you shrugged it off.

jungkook's pov:

Unlocking the door, you made sure no water got inside from the pouring rain. As you closed the door, you heard her speak up, "You don't want to come under my umbrella?"  "No. what are you doing here, Sohee?"  "I just wanted to see y-"  "cut the bullshit. what did you actually come here for?"  "Jungkook, do you actually like her?" After a brief pause, you replied, "Yeah, I do. why is it your concern?" she retorted "It's just...she's such a groupie whore. I mean, remember the way she used to look at you when we were together," she laughed.

"Remember how she would always be all up on Namjoon and Jimin? It's like she was attempting to keep track of who was the next fuck on her schedule" With a clenched jaw, you responded, "Sohee, you're so obsessed it's concerning. You do know those are her best friends, right? and me? we were a thing before you came along." you laugh "I'm honestly glad you were the one who fucked up" Sohee rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. so make up your mind, Jeon. Who's it going to be?"

y/n pov :

"Did he go help deliver the pizza? what is taking so long?" You get up and make your way to the front door. peeking from the blinds, you withdraw yourself from the window, opening the door, you ask, "What's going on?" Jungkook snaps his head towards your direction, while sohee smirks. "Oh, he didn't tell you? He wants to get back together. said you were only temporary." Before you look at him for any reaction, you slam the door as you begin to search for your keys. Tears on edge, but you refuse to let them fall, thinking that this was all going down the drain once again.

Hearing the door slam, the creaking of the floorboards grew louder with each step. "y/n, whatever she said, it isn't true," he says. pausing, you met his gaze, tears threatening to spill. "No, she's right. I felt like this was only to please our pleasures once again. temporary."  "y/n" he says grabbing onto your arms "this isn't temporary. It never felt temporary. Yeah, maybe before, maybe. but this moment to me right now feels endless. I don't know if you feel the same way about this, but I don't want this to end. not again" You didn't want to entertain your hopes, because when you did, it only led to disappointment. but this time, at this moment, it felt different. "Sohee wants me back after everything, but she was in the wrong, yet I know my worth. You showed me my worth."

Pausing, he looks into your eyes, never losing focus. "You've been my worth since the first time we met. I came to the realization that these aren't feelings of pleasure. They're more than just pleasing, and every time I would see you, be around you, hear your voice. I would feel this warm, bubbly feeling every time, and it never failed to come upon me." As he confesses his feelings, you felt the same way, yet a question lingered.. "why didn't you tell me about Sohee?"  "Because I was scared, y/n. I overanalyzed the situation and feared rejection, so I needed a distraction. a distraction from you." Although his response stings, you couldn't suppress your response any longer.

"It hurt, Jungkook, seeing you with her, especially after all that we have done together. You had the opportunity to prevent this situation, but you made it even more difficult than it already was. that night you introduced us to Sohee? was the night I intended to confess my feelings for you. I liked you a lot, Jeon, but then you and Sohee happened, and I had to know my place."

As the two of us sat in silence, the sound of the rain grew louder by the second.

He swallowed thickly before speaking. "You're right, and I admit it I feel like an absolute idiot an asshole at that for not putting more effort into us. I thought finding a distraction would help my situation, but it only made it worse. for you and me." tilting your head in confusion, he continued, "You know, ever since I got with Sohee, it didn't feel the same as what we had. It's like I had a void in my heart that has only grown with each passing day, month, and year. I believe it was the guilt that I had for not taking responsibility for our relationship."

"So, yeah, Sohee and I have been over since New Year's. She left me for her ex the same night before the final countdown. I've been emotionally drained since that night and looking back on what I had before, It was you who filled the voids. You made me feel needed back then and now. So, yes, this is a confession, and right now, in this moment, I'm hoping you feel the same." Looking into your eyes for confirmation.

The tears from before finally broke through. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment," you said, reflecting the same smile. He embraced you by the waist. Enjoying the moment he gradually released his grip around your waist.

With a gentle gesture, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, as he finally whispers the words you've been waiting for since the beginning, "so, does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?" You withdrew slightly, allowing yourself to meet his gaze with a smile. Latching your hand around his neck, you pulled him into a kiss. "Does that answer your question?"

Throwing you that bunny smile, he replied "No but I'll take it" he said jokingly, latched back onto your lips, melting into your embrace, not caring about how drenched he was from the rain. He lifted his thumb and gently pulled down on your lower lip, slipping his tongue past your lips, tongue against yours. As he tapped your leg, you eagerly jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, cupping the curve of your ass. He then proceeded to guide you to the edge of the bed, where he lowered you onto the plush mattress.

Jungkook pulled back for a moment to remove his drenched sweater, revealing his black compression shirt. loving the way the wet fabric clung to his abs that you admired so much. Resuming, he placed his hand under your chin to kiss you at a better angle. With his other hand, he smoothly slid it under your shirt, caressing your belly before cupping your breast.

Letting go of your lips, he slowly lifts up your top, revealing your girls. Officially you were wearing a lace bra with the detachable hook between the valley of your breasts. Detaching the clip he watches them bounce as they were held together. without wasting any time, he dives into them, starting with your left nipple, the contact never fails to make you moan. Of course, he didn't forget the right one, and with a pinch and pull, you were sent over the edge.

With a pop, he resumed cleaning up his left over saliva, tongue collecting every drop, tongue not leaving your chest he dragged it down between your breasts, over your belly, and arrived at the button on your pants. On his knees, he tugged on the material with his teeth, looking up through hooded eyes. "May I?" giggling, you land your hand on the top of his head. "You may." he undid your pants and flung them behind him. Now, looking at his favorite pair of panties that he loves so much. He honestly didn't want to rip through them, so he gently hooked them under his fingers and slowly pulled them down over your knees. Dropping them to your ankles, he picked them up and put them on the nightstand next to him. He slowly spreads your legs wide enough to observe the arousal you've accumulated down your folds, without noticing how he licked his lips—making him want to devour you whole. He lowers himself to suck on your inner thigh, biting in chunks and nibbles. Finally getting close to your pussy, you jolt when you feel a glob of spit trickle down your folds, you can't help but moan. Kook takes his fingers to his mouth, taking out his tongue to stroke in between his V-shaped fingers to demonstrate your pussy. putting them into his mouth, collecting all the saliva he can, and places them on your clit, as you whine at the feeling, slipping them down and inside your hole.

Squirming a bit he grabs your thigh securely, preventing you from moving. Sucking in a breath, you feel his tongue toying with your clit, the coldness of his lip ring swiping against your folds making it even more difficult to be still; "Baby stop moving," you're trying, really trying. Plunging his fingers deeper, he adds another to watch you struggle. With the way he's impacting your pussy, you instinctively tangle your fingers through his hair. Now imagine when he's in balls deep,  interrupting your train of thought he nibbles on your clit. His tongue now has taken the place of his fingers, hand coming around your thighs to rub at your clit "god this fucken pussy" whimpering you feel that familiar burning sensation in your belly building by the second "ju-jungkook im gonna cum" letting go of your clit, he looks up into your gaze, "then cum my pretty girl" and that fucken name has you coming undone, “so wet.. all for me yeah?”  jungkook drank up your arousal like he hadn't drank in years.

stabilizing yourself, you look up to see Jungkook already in his boxers, simply by the contour of his cock has your climax developing once more, walking up against you, pussy now against his clothed cock, he speaks "Tell me y/n. what exactly is it that you want, hmm?"  "You jungkook" slapping your pussy, he answers. "You're going to have to be more specific than that my love?. I'm going to ask you once more." Leaning down, he swipes his tongue along your earlobe, "what specifically do you want y/n?" not hesitating you answer, "your cock jungkook. your big fucken cock,"  heart now hammering at the thought of his cock tearing every last bit of your sanity, "you got it baby."

He finally dropped his boxers to the ground, the sound of his dick smacking against his abdomen echo's around the room. positioning himself, he finally sinks into you, both letting out a synchronized moan. Slipping through your core Jungkook let's out a groan, "f-fuck this pussy never ceases to amaze me." sucking in a breath at the burning sensation you composed yourself knowing this would only last for a moment. Pussy clenching Jungkook hisses at the feeling, "oh, fuckkk do that again". "Go faster and I'll do it," Jungkook cracked open an eye. "Oh really?" he stated "Yes, pleasee" you added. Jungkook complied, but instead, he wrapped his tatted hand around your throat, applying slight pressure on your airway. "alright then, answer this. who does this pussy belong to?" he asked. "Yours, Jungkook, '' you responded. As the pace picked up, he tightened his grip, making it difficult to breathe. "Do you desire this cock? or do you want me to stop?" he asked. "NO, no, I'm sorry," you replied. "Then I'll ask again. who does this pussy belong to? Who do YOU belong to?" he says in a firm tone, tightening his grip on your throat, "YOU JUNGKOOK, it has always been you. I belong to you completely, every inch and every breath in my body." you responded, "That's right baby, you belong to me and no one else. every inch." He released his grip, allowing you to catch your breath, as he increased the pace. Jungkook then leaned in to bite the salty skin of your neck, leaving a few territorial marks. Slowly pulling you flush against his chest, as an instinct you wrapped your legs around his waist, as he positions himself against the headboard.

"Jungkook, faster," you commanded. He complied, proceeding to deliver a rapid speed that consistently aimed at your g-spot. Instinctively, you dug your nails into his back, eliciting a pleasurable groan from jungkook, He gradually released your hips, allowing you to take control and ride him. As you tighten your grip on his length, obscene noises uncontrollably spill from his lips, struggling to articulate his pleasure. "shit y/n just like that baby" He gently raises your hips, grinding thickly into your walls making sure he can see his bulge plunging through your belly. “fuck fuckk kook just like that”  “yeah?”  you couldn’t even speak at that point. Drunk on his cock. 

Clenching tighter, he utters, "fuck it's the way that you can ride." You sense the pressure building, "kook I'm close, please." he leans in for a reassuring kiss. "Hold on a little longer, my love. I'm ngh-almost there." you reach a point where your entire body is stuttering. Despite the strain, you feel his cock twitch, knowing that his climax is near. With a few more strokes, he reaches, "now ruin me baby" releasing the pressure you smear his abdomen while he simultaneously paints your walls. Exhausted, he collapses on top of you, cock still inside, as you both pant in unison.

After both of you have stabilized your breathing, you gently brushed his hair away from his eyes, lifting his head to meet your gaze. chin resting on your chest, you maintain eye contact and offer a smile before bringing him in for a kiss. "How was it?" he asked. "as always, my love, perfect," you respond with a smile. "hmm good," he replies as he pecks your nose as he slowly withdraws from you, hissing at the feeling of emptiness. He proceeds to the bathroom to prepare a warm rag to clean you with, and although you are still sensitive, you comply. As you sometimes spend the night, you have clothes stored in the dresser next to his. After dressing, you help change the sheets while he cleans himself.

After cleaning up the mess you two created, both of you slide into bed. Allowing him to hold you, with his arms encircling your waist, tracing circles beneath the soft material of your shirt. He plants a kiss on your hair uttering, "I have loved you since day one." You smile at this heartwarming sensation, holding onto his arm until you drift off to sleep. From that day forward, the routine has remained unchanged.

PRESENT

July ‘23

You two moved into your apartment, sohee was nowhere to be seen since that day. This year, you all graduated from university and celebrated with a party for the occasion, alongside other colleagues. You and Jungkook are content to be together. "I fetched you a smirnoff screwdriver. sorry, it was the only one they had left," you smile kissing his cheek. "kook, it's okay. I appreciate it a lot thank you" but before he can respond, Jimin inserts himself by sitting between the two of you. “so what are you two love birds talking about?” Jungkook rolls his eyes while you chuckle at the remark. “nothing jimin what do you want” “Nothing I'm just curious about what you got my best friend for her graduation gift” jungkook raises an eyebrow "Well, I was just about to mention it-"  "Do not hesitate, Jungkook. please share" namjoon interrupts "I was just-" "well go on" jin inserts “I WAS JUST GETTING THERE” everyone laughs at jungkooks outburst, "someone offer him a tequila shot," taehyung yells "even tequila can't help that," Hobi responds.

“well, I just wanna say I’m happy for you two, as always jungkook. you better not break her heart or I’ll kick your ass”  “Yeah yeah like that’s gonna happen”  “Keep it that way” jimin replies, blowing a kiss to you farewell as he returns to the kitchen. “I’m sorry he’s a little overprotective”  "It’s okay I understand, I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt you either. but on another note, I do have a gift for you though" he grins, lending you his hand, taking it, together you made your way through the group of individuals that occupied the living room and into the neon uv-lit hallway. This is Jin's residence, which he rents out seven rooms, all of which are occupied by the other boys except for one that was reserved for the two of you; and that’s where you two were headed. opening the door, you spot a small white piece of paper resting on the bed before you. approaching, you grasp the paper. only to see the bold lettering 'SURPRISE' curious about this surprise, you turn around but were directed to take a seat on the bed. you observe jungkook removing his shirt, of course, you can’t complain, but questioned, “babe what are you doing?”

“It's Saturday baby, 7 days a week, remember?” 

“fuck”

⋆

a/n: obviously she was still sore from yesterday lol . but thank you sm for reading this little series of mine! I hope you enjoyed ! all feedback is appreciated <3

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

taglist: @jjklves @ane102 @moonbinniehappy @caro134340lina @bbtsficrecs @heartjiminie @ta3bae @hyunjinswifeee @sherituhhh @myabae @whoa-jo @jiminsthings @1uvjeons @junecat18 @capital-koreasofia @tatamicc @goldenhopeworld @ahsluva @starbrightday @psykvo

for those who I couldn’t tag i’m sorry ! :(

[oneofthetorturedpoets]

Casual (part 2/?)

You genuinely thought you would just be able to have a one night stand with Melissa and move on, but one night turned into three and now you were having to return to your regular life, unsure of where you and Melissa stand.

-

You turn your car off, grabbing your bag before getting out. You pull your shirt down and prepare yourself for the day. You look up and see Melissa doing the exact same thing a few parking spots away from you, she turns her head, spotting you. You give her a shy smile and wave in her direction, she returns the smile and wave before shutting her car door. You both walk towards the school entrance, not saying a word. You manage to walk fast than her, beating her to the door. You grab the handle, pulling the door open for her. She slightly quickens her walk, muttering a thank you. You both walk towards the break room. The awkwardness eating you up inside.

"So-" You both start at the same time, you laugh.

"You go first" You glance over and see her nervous expression.

She looks over to you. "So" She smiles at you, making your heart speed up. "I had a lot of fun last weekend and... I'm just wondering if we can keep it between us? I don't want the whole school knowing my business."

You wanted the same thing, why should your dirty laundry be spread across the elementary school? "yeah, of course. I was thinking the same thing."

She pats your shoulder with a tight lipped smile. "Great."

-

You hear a knock on your door, Melissa walks into your class. "Hey, y/n" She walks over to you, setting a Tupperware in front of you.

You smile, knowing exact what was in the dish. "I've been craving this all month."

She nods. "I know, I made it the other night and forgot that I had it in my fridge."

"Thank you, Mel." You stare up at her, unknowingly driving her crazy. She squeezes her thighs together

She can't take her eye off you and neither can you. The eye contact goes on for longer than reasonable. "Do you want to come over tonight?"

She never invites people over to her house, except for Barbara. "Sure, yeah, that sounds fun."

-

"This is amazing- you are amazing." You say as Melissa runs her warm fingers gently up and down your arm. The light from the sun turning her hair into a fiery red.

She smiles at you. "Me too"

You roll over, snuggling closer to her. She wraps her arms loosely around your torso. "Y/n?"

you hum. "You've been an amazing friend and I don't want that to change."

You can't help the frown that forms on your face, luckily you were facing away from her. "You want to stay just friends?"

"well, yeah? I mean we haven't really talked about it, I just kind of figured. You know I'm not dating right now, I just need to let off some steam." She states, matter-of-factly.

You fight back your tears of disappointment. "Yeah, you're right"

"We can still have fun, I like the idea of having a friends with benefits relationship with you." You get up, trying to cover your naked body, you felt too vulnerable. "Hey, where are you going?"

You throw your shirt on. "I just think it's wrong to lay in bed with you if were just friends"

"We don't have to be 'just friends' though." Once your clothes are on you reach for the door but Melissa stops you. "Why can't we just keep it casual?"

"I'm just not that kind of person, Melissa. I thought you would've taken that into consideration before bringing me into your bed."

-

You haven't seen Melissa in two weeks, she went on a trip to visit some family and you didn't realize how much you crave to just see her, even from a distance. You know you left abruptly the last time you saw her but you wished she would've texted you while she was away. You get a notification that she posted on her instagram story, you click the notification faster than you'd like to admit. The post is a picture of a dish she's cooking in her kitchen. You look at the time she posted it and it said 'an hour ago'. You jump up, throwing on whatever coat you find and rush over to her house.

Once you pulled up to her house, you sat for a second, contemplating your actions. You weren't the kind of person to have a no-feelings relationship, especially when you already have feelings for her. Was it selfish of you to want to go with want she wants so you can have just a part of her? Before you knew it, you were already walking up to her door. You knock on the door. A few seconds went by... Then a minute... Then two. Maybe it was the universe telling you it was a bad idea. You defeatedly march back to your car, as you went to open your car door, Melissa pulled up next to you in her car. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of her.

She got out, walking over to you. She admired the way your ears and nose were red from the winter winds. You pulled your coat tighter, shivering from the cold. "Y/n.. hey." She pulls you in for a quick hug. "Look.. I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable in any way, I should've talked to you about my intentions before sleeping with you. I really love being friends with you and I'm sorry if I screwed that up."

You shake your head. "No, I get it. I mean we're both great friends and maybe it would be fun to add some benefits to it" She smiles widely, excitement taking over her features.

"I'd like that..." She pauses. "Do you want to come in? I was trying out a new dish but fucked it up so I went out to buy some cheesesteaks. I got two, one to put away for tomorrow but if you're hungry, I don't mind giving it to you." You nod, following her up the path to her home.

[earlgreytea68]

hey egt, i've recently started to apply for jobs to escape a negative work environment and i remembered you were in a really toxic workplace for a few years, just wondering if you have any tips on coping with it, having enough energy to job search at the same time as performing well in an exhausting job, not falling into hopeless despair and give up when you get a rejection, etc. etc.? thank you!

Okay, first of all, I am so, so sorry you're in this position, ugh :-( I know that it's the worst and it's so easy to feel so much despair and that things will never get better, etc., etc. Sometimes I don't think that I coped well with my situation, but other times I think, I made it through so I guess I did pretty well and there is no, like, "good" way of dealing with that situation.

I think also it's important to realize that there are two different sources of stress that are going to collide here with you. The first is the negative work environment, which is obviously a huge source of stress for you. I ended up going to therapy for a little while to help me develop coping mechanisms for that, and if that's an option for you under health insurance and life circumstances, that could help. I got some tips that I still use to this day about how to separate my work from my life. I think the therapist told me that this was my problem, that my work situation was so awful that it was becoming my life situation, and I had to try to maintain separation.

I did this thing where I kept a stress diary for a week and I made a note whenever I felt a surge of stress. We realized that I had a lot of stress around receiving work emails; at the time, it was before the age of smartphones but I had a Blackberry that would buzz whenever I got an email, and my computer would also make a little chime, and it was stressing me out. We speculated what would happen if I took an hour to respond to an email instead of doing it immediately. I'm not a brain surgeon. Nobody was going to die. On an ordinary day, nothing was that urgent. If I were in a meeting for an hour, I would not have thought twice about not responding to the email. So we did this thing where I shut off all the notification sounds and instead I created set times, once an hour or so, to check my email. This helped TREMENDOUSLY. To this day I do not receive work email to my phone and only check it at appointed times, even during a work day when I am working. It helps keep me more productive and helps keep work from taking over my life.

Another thing I started doing was I started scheduling free time the same way I scheduled things for work. Like, I would literally just block off time and be like, "I am not available," as if I had a super-important meeting, but it would just be TV time. This sounds extreme, probably, but I had a job that was working me around the clock. Some days I would leave work after 1 am and be back in before 7. They would work me constantly if I let them. So I had to block off, like, between 8 and 9 pm I could not do a meeting. It took me a little while to realize that you have to take care of yourself, your job is never going to help you do that, so you just have to do that for yourself.

Now the problem with my job was, as is clear, the fact that it was demanding everything of me and then some and I couldn't get away from it (oh, and also, I didn't even like or enjoy what the work entailed in any way). That might not be why your work environment is negative, and so you might need different coping mechanisms to handle it. That's why I said that therapy could help identify exactly what you need to do.

So, the negative work environment is one thing, but then another related but separate source of stress is applying to get a new job. I have never been a person who gets new jobs easily. I don't know why that is. I promise I'm a good worker! Maybe it's hard for everyone to get new jobs and they just all pretend it's easy-peasy, Idk. So I'm here to tell you: Don't be ashamed of all the rejection. I got rejected so, so, so, so, so much omg. I was rejected 87 times before I got a job (I know this because I write a new and unique cover letter for every job application, and I have 88 saved on my computer). So. I put this information out here to let you know that you're not alone and it doesn't say anything about you AT ALL that people don't want to hire you. It's so, so hard not to take that personally but it is never about you. I have been on hiring committees plenty of times in my life and we have never rejected an applicant because we didn't like them. The problem was that somebody else had experience we wanted more, always. So it's not actually about you, basically ever. Please try not to take it personally. It's just that the more jobs you apply for, the more you'll be rejected from. And I'm not saying it ever gets easier, and that I didn't spend lots of time crying and deciding I just couldn't apply to any more jobs because I couldn't handle any more rejection. Because I did. But then I always applied for more. Because.

Because. This is important, I think. This is honestly what kept me going. The only thing that would make my life better was a new job. Like, yes, winning the lottery would have been nice (and I did play the lottery a lot lol). Marrying David Tennant would have been cool (these were David Tennant days in my life). But really I knew I had to find a new job, and I knew no one was going to just magically call me up and offer me a new job (I know this happens to some people, but this is basically the same odds as winning the lottery in my view). I knew I had to keep looking for a job. That was the only thing I could do that made me feel like I had any agency in my own life, you know? Otherwise I felt helpless, except that I knew I was doing everything I could to get out of the situation.

Now applying to jobs is overwhelming, at least in my opinion. When I first started looking, and I had multiple jobs to apply to, I really only applied to one a day, because I found it too overwhelming otherwise. I just find breaking this insurmountable task into a small manageable daily chunk worked for me. Eventually I ran out of jobs to apply to, so I set up job alerts for the kinds of jobs I was looking for, and then I had a separate list in my head of places to look for job listings outside of the alerts. I only let myself look once a week, on Sundays, because in my field nobody was getting hired so fast that once weekly wasn't fine as a timeline, and otherwise it would just eat up my life, the obsessive searching of job boards. Again, I just had to compartmentalize it. I had to make the job search its own thing.

Anyway, I wish you so, so much luck. When I was in the middle of my terrible work situation, I honestly, truly thought I would never get another job. I really did. People would be like, "Oh, don't worry, you'll get one eventually!" and I would smile and say, "Oh, yeah, definitely," but in my heart I thought that was a lie and I never would. I thought I would do that terrible job until I could finally retire. In fact, I used to wish that I could go to sleep one night and wake up and be in my sixties and just have this whole life thing be over. So trust me, I know it's obnoxious for me to be like, "Don't worry, it will get better!" I know it doesn't feel like it ever will. I know you think that's something that only happens to other people, and you'll just be stuck there forever.

I can't convince you otherwise, because I know I could never have convinced myself. But maybe, intellectually, objectively, please read that I made it to the other side and I'm so glad at how much life I've gotten to live and I'm so glad I didn't just sleep through it, it's been wonderful. I can't believe I made it, and I can't believe how long it's been now, and I can't believe how I no longer experience the little remnant shocks of traumatic habits I'd developed that it took me years to get over, I even feel like I've managed to get past those. I truly never believed I'd be this annoying person telling you that it gets better. But I am, I'm here, it's me. I hope it gets better for you so very quickly.

And this is also obnoxious of me to say, but sometimes, like when I'm doing something like this, I think back on that time, and I can remember what it felt like so vividly, and I'm honestly happy that I've never forgotten that, because I do feel like I am grateful every single day for how far I've come, I'm proud of myself every single day for what I've accomplished, for keeping at it and finally getting what I wanted. That is another obnoxious thing to say, but you'll get there. I know you will. I'm rooting for you.

[asherlockstudy]

Hi! If you're still open to answering Sherlock-related asks, I was wondering when you think John realized Sherlock was in love with him? I know you've said you think they both know about each other's feelings, and I'm with you on when Sherlock figures out about John. But I've never been able to quite figure out when John recognizes Sherlock's feelings. I think the waterfall scene in TAB implies that John knows, and I think he might know by the time of the tarmac scene. But I'm not sure. Thanks!

Hello! I am so sorry for this huge delay. I was busy IRL and at the same time a lot of stuff was happening in another fandom which is very active rn, so the ask was kinda staying behind. I know answered asks get a notification however I will tag you here too @winterdaphne2 to make sure you see this after all this time.

Yes, I strongly believe John knows by HLV. I talk about it a little in the meta "Why did Sherlock push John and Mary back together?" . The key phrase "Your way. Always your way" and the context within which it was uttered, John's confession that Mary was never supposed to be someone he would truly fall in love with (as opposed to Sherlock who was ticking all John's boxes, adventurous people living in danger etc) and Sherlock understanding it but pretending he didn’t and thus failing John and provoking more anger in him ("Why is everything...always... MY FAULT?!"), all those things make me conclude John knew by that point that Sherlock loved him and yet he was insisting on doing nothing about it. In other words, John knew the truth.

As to when he first realised, well we should keep in mind that John suspects Sherlock is gay from the very first day they moved in together because everybody who knows Sherlock insinuates it, Mycroft, Mrs Hudson, Donovan... The fact that from the Blind Banker onwards John suddenly becomes very heteronormative and defensive shows he feels a "threat" in the atmosphere, both due to his own impulses but also due to Sherlock's flamboyant demeanour, his habits, including casually walking around him naked (see John’s blog). In fact, when John starts suspecting Sherlock might be into the Woman, he's equal parts angry and startled. I suppose there was no way to know before the third season because Sherlock was so emotionally guarded, however he did hope, given his suspicions that Sherlock was gay and that their bond was unique and he was visibly an exception in how Sherlock treated people in his life.

At the wedding night John sees the sorrow on Sherlock's face and nearly has a heart attack. I think everything was confirmed there for him. However, I think the time he started landing on the conclusion for good was in TEH. This is the episode in which, after John is kidnapped and thrown into the fire, John keeps pressing Sherlock for an answer regarding why one would choose to harm him if it's Sherlock they are after. He is not truly wondering though. He lingers in the pavement (always a romantic affair, Sherlock tells us in the next episode) and then goes up and asks this with a very knowing look. Then again towards the end of the episode, in the staircase. His face screams suspicion, it screams tease, it screams expectation to finally hear Sherlock say it. Alas, Sherlock doesn't. Met with Sherlock's stubborness and with a wedding proposal looming over his head, John has no choice but to open up himself so he starts telling Sherlock that he went to his grave and "spoke" to him. Sherlock acknowelges this but again chooses to avoid the conversation John tries to start multiple times. John gives up and resumes his proposal to Mary. I think at this episode John finally knew for sure but he also realised that Sherlock was determined to not act on his feelings. I have made a more detailed analysis of this with pictures in the meta "John's Choices (from TEH to TLD)".

Besides, the next episode, TSOT, is the only time John actually makes a physical advance on Sherlock. Sure he was inebriated but I think John had SO many inhibitions anyway that even when drunk he would not be so bold if he wasn’t getting all the green lights of the world from Sherlock at that moment. So, he knew. He knew that if Sherlock dropped his fascade, he would want this.

[turtlecleric]

Venty thing set in the bayverse, Raph is mentioned but no turtles show up

CWs: Implied depression and suicidal ideation, hurt no comfort

Hm.

-

Maybe it's because you haven't been sleeping much lately. Actually, it could be that you haven't been doing a very good job of taking your medicine consistently. Yeah, maybe- but you've only missed a few doses. Work is stressful, sure, but that's nothing new.

Whatever the case, it's 5:00 in the afternoon, and you've yet to drag yourself out of bed. Not because you've actually been resting, no, but there's just... something weighing you down. Something holding you here that you can't name or explain very well.

You consider reaching out to one of the guys. They always make you feel better - at least, until you say something stupid and ruin your own mood. But you... you don't really want to be around anyone right now. Especially them. They haven't seen you like this. At least not when it's been this bad. No, better to wait it out, you think. Wait until you can actually make yourself smile. Wait until you can at least act like a normal person.

You feel like you've spent most of your life waiting.

Your phone buzzes shortly. An email, maybe. Or some random app notification. You don't care enough to check.

You feel gross. Maybe a shower would help. But if you're going to shower, then you might as well work out a little first. That's supposed to help, too, or so you've heard. Hasn't yet, but maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do over the course of several months? Or maybe you're just... doing it wrong.

Sometimes it feels like you do everything wrong.

You sigh and roll over, staring at the light filtering into the room through your curtains. For some reason, you wish it was darker outside. This feeling, whatever it is, when it's dark out, it feels... well, not better, exactly, but. Easier? No, that's not right either. More understandable? You don't know. But you wish it was darker all the same.

Surely there's something you can do to feel better. It's been months of this feeling, though, with very little reprieve, despite everything you've done to try and push through it. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Trying to be kinder to yourself. Trying to distract yourself and take steps to avoid isolation when things get dangerous. Trying, trying, trying, that's all you ever do is try. You're tired. Tired of feeling like this, tired of pretending that you're h-

Crying again. You're not sure why you started. You're not sure why you can't stop.

You wonder if Raph ever feels like this. If he ever has days where it feels easier to stay down. Probably not. He's never been one to stay down - not in the time you've known him, at least. He'd probably be able to push through this like it's nothing. He'd probably be disappointed in you for not being able to-

No. You're being overly critical again. Putting sentiments in other people's heads when you've got no evidence that that's what they think. You can't possibly know what Raph would think unless you actually ask him - and that's certainly out of the question.

Still. Maybe you could... text him. It would distract you for a little while, at least, from the gaping maw that is your chest.

You roll over again and reach out, fumbling with your phone. Shaky hands. You should eat.

Maybe later.

You swipe away the notifications that have gathered. Nothing of importance, you note. No one's messaged you. The emails are all spam. Just a bunch of random shit, like you expected.

A voice in the back of your head whispers that if Raphael wanted to talk to you, then he would have messaged you first. You push the thought away, reminding yourself that relationships are a two-way street. And just because someone hasn't reached out doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you at all.

Still. Your thumbs hesitate after opening the text thread you've got with him. You... don't even have anything to say. Not really. There's nothing you feel like talking about, you just- you just want-

You don't know what you want.

You lock your phone and toss it to the side. Maybe you'll message him later.

Or maybe you'll go into the bathroom. And stare at the medicine cabinet for a while.

[elly99]

Ditto

Part 5 of 5. Check here for more details.

Something was different about her recently. Yes, your best friend was now a superstar. Yes, you weren't able to hang out as often, especially with a new release coming soon. But that wasn't it. You felt there was something more. Maybe it was something different about you.

You found yourself missing her. A lot more than usual. There was a certain emptiness you felt when she wasn't around. It was subtle at first, but now, it was all you could think about. She was all you could think about.

You recall the last time you saw each other. It was a few weeks ago, when she stopped by your place to rest with you and talk about her upcoming song Ditto. She couldn't talk about the lyrics just yet, but she told you that something about the song resonated with her and that she was excited to share it with you. Before she left that night, you swear there was something different about the way she hugged you goodbye. Or maybe it was something different about you. You remember not wanting to let go.

A notification on your phone pulls you out of your thoughts. It was a message from Mingki 🐻.

"Can I come over for a while? Gonna be really busy this month so just wanna spend some time with you. I bought you coffee!"

Your heart started racing. And you were starting to understand why.

"Of course, Min! What time were you thinking?"

"I'll be at our rooftop spot in 10."

Your heart continued racing. And it wasn't just because you were now scrambling to find a proper outfit to wear.

Having settled for just a t-shirt and jeans underneath your padded jacket, you waited for her on your favorite bench. You had shared a lot of memories with her here. It was sitting on this bench that she first told you she was going to debut. It was sitting here amongst the trees that you told her you made it into university. It was sitting here under the stars that you promised to always look out for each other and to never keep secrets.

"Bro, stop shaking your leg. You look like you're having a nervous breakdown or something."

You turn around to see her grinning at you and handing you your cup of iced coffee. But taking it from her did not immediately occur to you, because you could only process one thing: she looked gorgeous.

"Yo, are you good? Did I get you the wrong drink? This is your favorite, though..."

"No, no, it's perfect! Thanks, Min."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine! I just missed you. I'm happy to see you."

"Aww, I've missed you, too! That's why I'm here."

She sits beside you, leaning close for warmth. Your heart is still racing. And it wasn't just because of the caffeine.

"How have you been?"

"Mmm, busy. Very busy. And very tired," she sighs, then carefully leans her head on your shoulder. "I just wanna stay quiet for a while. Is that ok?"

"Of course," you reply, wondering if the drum inside your chest would be able to comply with her request.

Half an hour passes as you just silently enjoy each other's company. In that time you allow your thoughts to wander again. There was something different about her. Even in the winter air her presence had never felt warmer. In the golden light of the sunset she had never looked more beautiful. Sitting here with her now, closer than you'd ever been before, you felt it. You felt it in the now steady beating of your heart. Weeks of confusion culminating in this one moment of clarity. But you didn't know how to tell her.

So instead you ask, "Wanna listen to some music?"

Seeing her nod, you take out your phone and choose a song that would hopefully get your message across.

My mind is running circles, my heart's out in the rain I know that this is sudden, but Do you feel the same?

"I like this! Can you send me the link?"

"Yeah, of course."

When the song is over she checks her phone then turns to you.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I need to go."

You were suddenly gripped by fear. Did she understand what you were trying to say? Did you make her uncomfortable? Did she not feel the same? Seeing you frown at her sudden declaration, she immediately moves to hug you. The warmth of her embrace feels different. Hopeful. But maybe it was just you.

"I'm sorry! I know I didn't get to stay long. I just have a lot going on right now. I still appreciate you staying here with me, though. I really needed some peace and quiet... with you," she trails off.

"Yeah, it's no problem! I understand. I'm just going to miss you again," you chuckle, attempting to mask your disappointment.

"I'll miss you, too! But before I go I have something for you."

She reaches for a folded up piece of paper in her jacket pocket and places it in your hand. The unexpected contact gives you butterflies.

"It's about Ditto. We promised to not keep secrets, so here's everything I have about our new song. Keep it to yourself, of course! I'm trusting you. As always."

"You got nothing to worry about, Minji," you smile. "When will you be free again?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll come see you as soon as I can," she says reassuringly and hugs you again. "I promise."

As she gets up, the cold is suddenly overwhelming. You fight the urge to grab her hand and stop her from leaving.

"Read that carefully, ok? I would've talked about it now, but it was easier to express my thoughts in writing. Text me what you think."

"I'll read it before bed. Thanks, Min."

And as she walks away, you fight the urge to run after her and never let her go. To ask her how she felt. You just needed to know.

Maybe some other time.

You tell me that you're leaving, but I wish you would stay I think that this is worth it, but Do you feel the same?

Back all alone in your apartment later that night, you feel it again. The cold embrace of her absence and the uncomfortable company of your thoughts. Before you sleep you finally read the note, imagining the words in her voice, trying to feel her close again.

Hey,

I don't really know where to begin. I'm not good at things like this. But our latest song has had me thinking a lot recently. About you, actually. It goes:

My feelings for you Like the memories we share Have grown so big Summer's gone and it's autumn Been waiting all this time

I got no time to lose I had a long day I miss you I got nothing to lose I like you

I don't want to Stay in the middle Like you a littlе Don't want no riddle Say it, say it back, oh, say it ditto Can't wait 'til the morning, so say it ditto

I want you so, want you, so say it ditto

I don't want to keep hiding anymore. I can't keep hiding. And we promised never to keep secrets, right? So here's me saying that I like you. I'm always happiest when I'm with you. I've had feelings for you for some time now, but I only let myself feel them completely after singing this song.

We've known each other for so long, but I still can't be sure if you'll like me back. And I was scared at first about messing up our friendship, because it's one of the most precious things to me. But Ditto made me realize what it's like to have nothing to lose. It made me realize that liking someone is a beautiful thing. So here's my heart. I like you. I want you.

I hope we can still be friends if you don't feel the same. But if you do, it's going to be hard. We'll have to keep us a secret. And we did promise never to keep secrets, but I think it would be worth breaking that promise just this once.

Sleep well tonight. I'm sending bear hugs! If you want.

Love, Your Minji

Screw sleep. Screw texting her back. You grabbed your phone and called her up.

"Minji-yah..."

Ditto.

[centuriesceleb]

Leaving the same bio here in centuriesceleb but adding the LinkTree!

In case some of you might wonder why is there Centuries Celeb™ and there's Love,Centuries™.

I created Centuries Celeb back in 2022 as a reseller of random online products.

(back then when Dropshipping wasn't found in my vocabulary lol)

I was still in my college when I created my social media accounts whilst researching and doing the basic cosmetics mixing!

It was long months of research, trial and errors until 2023 came. Finally decided to post and sell products on Shopee TikTok and Lazada.

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But since it was a handmade not an e-commerce that resells pre-order products - I had to change the branding that was still connected to the former so it's easily recognizable and searchable - Love, Centuries™ came to life. Keeping hold to the old username centuriesceleb gives me copyright or ownership to what I previously built.

As a starter in the entrepreneur world, the brand was not heard of. Despite having invested in various product materials, ingredients, packaging, labels, etc - I would consider it as an unstable source of income because I just graduated in college.

As I have always dreamed of having my own brand, whether it being cosmetics, clothing, perhaps cafe, restaurant, resort or mall if I may dream “Dream Big”. And starting a business needs investment money and suppliers and employees and store and warehouse else it won't suffice in the long run. Again if I dream Dream Big - a full blown business minded.

I always always start things out of spur of boredom. But guess where that lead me! 😂

Of course a pang of excitement, thrill to new ideas, a sprinkle of curiousity trying out the new items, a dash of keeping my active brain even more active, a pinch of kinesthetic which I love getting my hands on everything - that to see is to believe - that alterations customisations endless possibilities modifications and constant changes!

I love how it never ends! 😂 I guess that's what you call passion diving deep to what soothes your soul.

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That's the name behind Centuries it can last you years after years to start! And years after years to last.

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So I answered your curiosity as why I was inactive for 1 year, I got a job!

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And why do I keep creating accounts after accounts on every social media out there? A thing or two on marketing or availability is that you're accessible and visible anywhere and everywhere. I guess that's the first step to not paying advertisements! It's also the comfort of the readers, viewers, and potential buyers. Why jump to another screen when you can receive a notification update on the latest post on the only app that's fit to your storage, or phone capacity, or app of your liking!

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Weeell no checkout shop no official website at the moment to sell Love, Centuries™ products so it's reasonable not to pay ads. Very organic views, followers, and likes I can say!

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So when will I actually start start selling again? As much as both fear and anxiety would be stopping me - actually I have to do thorough research all over again to what suits best. Being sued is not on my vision board!

We're talking about solo content creator, solo products maker, solo social media management, solo doing the shipment packaging labeling and not forget the manual engagement for the organic views likes followers. Of course everyone went through all that start by yourself with no help from others as a business owner.

Getting a supplier or a manufacturer is another thing. Besides licensing, establishing, trademark, legalities etc - if I dream dream big of turning this into a real physical outside online platforms thing. Reaching out to influencers, affiliations, brands to brands partnerships etc. And going to the tv media? Reaching out to celebrities? PR contents? Go international?

It's a whole lot! It's a process, it's the interest, it's the drive to do more go big be All 🫶

You know what? Plans or dreams or goals are always at the back of our minds. While universe will help us figure our way - if we actually deserve what we want.

I always believe in be good to others and do good to others and be your best you and do your best on what you're good at. Of course work hard towards your dreams.

I'm always excited and looking forward to every step of the way - towards stability, success, and providing happiness.