#ignoring the fact he’s mostly wearing *black* in PIC right now if I think too hard about that I’ll explode

[landfilloftrash]

And I look up to the sky And I know you're still alive But I wonder where you are, I call your name into the dark

[excitedlysuffering]

OMGOMGOMG possibly Kakashi head-cannon collection? He is the love of my life (lmao don’t tell my bf that)

Your secrets safe with me he’s my love too😂

Kakashi Headcanons Collection

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• A reader, they don’t have to read Icha Icha (bonus points if you did) but someone who appreciates a good book

• Someone laid back and not very high maintenance

• I see him wanting a shinobi S/O cause he needs them to be to take care of themselves or he’ll worry too much

• he’ll worry anyways

• Someone who understands his pain and won’t shy away from him when he’s going through a rough patch

• Someone who is good with words, like say something sweet and he’s metlinggg

• A person with considerate personality traits

• He would like an S/O who’s willing to try new things and adventures

• Someone who would take things slowly

• Someone who could honestly make him laugh

• He’s DadKashi he’s going to want someone good with kids

• To be frank, he would probably want a relatively stable S/O so that in his mind there’s no chance of them ending up like his father

• He wants companionship so someone who’s not distant and who wouldn’t mind him being around all the time

• I really can’t see him with a tsundere S/O, he needs to see that his partner loves him as much as he loves them

Relationship With Kashi Stuff~

• Please do domestic stuff (Sending him off to work with a kiss, a note in his lunchbox, kissing him when he gets home) he will be near tears every time

• TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK™ (whether it’s kicking butt, making dinner, or teaching (raising) Team 7)

• You probably won’t notice moving in with each other until you look up like ‘holy crap I haven’t been to my apartment in like 2 weeks?’

• Read with him or read to him, and you will have his HEART

• He’s not clingy per se, but he loves to be in your presence whenever he can

• Will take you out on dates once a week EVERY WEEK (Sorry Tsunade-sama, I have a date then, but I’ll leave right after?)

• Dating Kakashi means you’re now honorary rivals with Gai (who knows Kashi better, who can make him laugh most etc.)

• Pick up line wars 24/7, the loser has to do the other’s chores Kakashi wins

• Okay, but Kakashi never had a childhood, so make a list of everything he never got to do and you slowly complete them together

• He’s such a sweetheart like, surprise, he’s so sensitive

• Get’s so flustered seeing you in his clothes, he temporarily shuts down

• He’s given up trying to take back his mask whenever you’re wearing it

• Okay, we all know this silver-haired hottie is suave, but he is SMOOTH, he will 100% find ways to have you blush whenever possible, he is the CEO of leaving you hot and bothered

• Made you your own area in the Hokage office as a hint that he needed your company

• Has never forgotten an important date (he uses his Sharingan on the calendar)

• He’s fought demons and other crazy villains, but will still be terrified of you on your period (he’s brave tho he’ll just bring a lot of peace offerings)

• He heard you refer to him as DadKashi in front of Team 7 and/or your friends and just about loses his mind

• When you first see his face without his mask you’re probably pissed cuz WHY would he hide that beauty from the world?! it’s for the greater good hun

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Being insensitive/ignorant about things like loss or mental illness

• Constantly distracting him from his duties or hobbies

• Being rude or uncompassionate

• Being willing to abandon people or being self-centered you SCUM

• He always makes time for you, so he’d be a bit bothered if they didn’t put forth any effort to spend time with him

• Little pranks are harmless, but things that make him scared for your wellbeing or stealing his mask are big fat NO

• Being reckless just because, being a shinobi is already dangerous with would you play with death like that??

• Being lazy, Kakashi at his core is really something of a go-go-go person, he doesn’t want to just do anything all the time

Soft Kakashi Things~

• Kakashi is such a softie omg

• He likes to fall asleep last just so he can tell you how much he loves you and you saved him while you’re asleep

• If you’re having a bad day, he’ll drop everything (if possible) to hold you and be there for you in every way you need

• Definitely has Sai draw a small pic of you so he can carry it around and/or put in the Hokage office

• Mission dates are a thing like imagine flirting with Kakashi while destroying your opponents (so romantic)

• He’s big on practical gifts. If he notices you’re running low on shuriken? Expect a box of them from him

• He’ll read a particular *wild* Icha Icha quote to you just to make you flustered (bonus points for him if you’re in public)

• His students question you all the time like how did you end up with their lonely, pervy sensei?

• Will sweep you off your feet for no reason other than he likes to hold you and carry you

Random Kashi Facts~

• Kakashi’s love language is words of affirmation like he craves hearing that you love him and the like

• He hums and sings around the house or whenever he’s bored or preoccupied

• After having eating fish out of necessity day after day he prefers not eating it if possible

• He will often fall asleep a good while after he actually lays down because he enjoys debriefing himself of everything that happened during the day

• Actually sleeps really deep when he’s next to you, otherwise, the smallest sound can wake him up

• He likes to put notes or letters from you in his Icha Icha books so he can read them whenever and no one will peak cuz ew, Icha Icha

• In all honesty, Gai is a common factor in why he’s so late everywhere, but it’s mostly him walking around and taking in the sights like a nostalgic old man

• In the episode where Sakura and Naruto transformed into kids and called Kashi and old man, giving him an identity crisis is actually common. His hair color and the fact that you can’t see his face make some kids think he’s old

• Sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll find a random tree and fall asleep in it (he’s a strange one)

• He lost his newest Icha Icha book when he was Hokage and very nearly (thanks to Shikamaru) called a citywide search party

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your temple, it feels really intimate to him and he’s so tall it’s an easy place for him

• Way to hug- Kakashi loves those giant bear hugs where he just envelopes you like you’re basically one with him now

•’Thing to do with you- He really loves reading with you, whether it’s the same book, or you’re just both sitting next to each other reading

• Type of date- Although your most common date is a mission date (lol), his favorite is being able to take you to a nice restaurant and then on a walk around the city

This or That:

• He’s a winter person actually, he loves being cuddled up with you and blankets, and the abundance of hot drinks

• He’s a morning person because he’s been waking up early since he was a child, and doesn’t really know how to enjoy sleeping anymore (but if that wasn’t the case he’d be a night owl)

• Loves both cooking for you and being cooked for he puts Bobby Flay to shame honestly

• He spends all his time reading obviously and if his S/O is a writer or he’ll be soooo excited and will read everything they put out

Conflict Happenings~

• He knows disagreements are a normal part of relationships (in moderation of course) so if there was a real problem, he wouldn’t shy away from it

• He won’t raise his voice or take a tone with you, he doesn’t feel the need to, but he will definitely get his point across

• To his fault, he might throw in a slight or cutting remark here and there but he will regret it the second your expression changes

• He’s a real go with the flow kind of guy so if he realizes that something is his fault, he will correct it ASAP

• If he notices you’re getting really worked up, he’ll just hug you until you calm down and can speak coherently but at that point it’s like ‘what was I mad about??’

• If his S/O is headstrong it’ll probably bring that side out in him, even if temporarily

• If it’s a minor disagreement he’ll probably say something funny to diffuse the situation

• He would rather die than argue in public, to him it’s a private thing and he hates causing a scene

Modern Kashi~

• I can see him as more of a club/extracurricular activities leader than a teacher

• He’s really close to those kids in his group and probably sheds a few proud DadKashi tears at their graduation

• That one fine teacher that all the students are thirsting over

• If not a teacher he’d probably be an elite CIA agent or a higher ranking FBI officer

• He has so many dogs like he sees a stray and how could he possibly give them up??

• He’d probably walk around Playboy Magazines just cause he can

• At one point he dyed his hair black cause he thought it’d look more ‘normal’ but he HATED it

• He likes plants but he’s so bad at taking care of them?? He can remember all of his dogs’ names and their food preferences but can’t remember to water a plant

• His house is so clean he’s been doing all his household chores since he was a child

• He definitely met Gai in elementary school and they never parted, even going on to become college roommates never again

• Gai probably barges in Kakashi’s classroom so often he’s most likely considered the co-leader/teacher

• Kakashi has definitely gotten drunk on school nights before but he’s such an in-control drunk no one ever noticed

• Kakashi was my first Naruto love and my first husband. BACK OFF

Masterlist

[jess-the-vampire]

The Demon Next Door, Chapter 9

Previous / Next

-

"So...how's progress with jackie?", Star said, hopping alongside marco, "Prom's coming up and you said you planned on her being your date right? Do you even know what you're going to do to prompose?"

"Star, prom's still months away, no need to do it THAT soon...", marco said, mumbling and avoiding eye contact, much to her obvious annoyance. His answer did not satisfy her, especially since marco always planned ahead, if he didn't ask his crush out eventually, well, there were plenty or guys and girls who could ask her out themselves and he wouldn't even get the chance.

This was a huge aspect of marco's plan with jackie and he only recently made it to friendship, he'd run out of time if he kept waiting longer.

She'd think marco would leap at planning how he was to ask her out, but for some reason he seemed...distracted instead, unfocused on jackie. He had no plan already on how he wanted to ask her, he hadn't planned out for 50 different situations or what tux he wanted to wear, none of the prep that marco usually went through to well, do anything.

Distracted and moody, two things marco usually wasn't.

Star didn't linger too much on it though, jackie herself was turning the corner and she waved to the duo, star immediately running up and talking to her. Marco put on his best smile to talk to her too when tom finally met up with the group, in his ripped jeans, jackie and rock shirt, and of course with his spiked collar and punk bracelets. He looked like he crawled out of a rock concert and yet he radiated good energy for marco.

Tom was a beacon of light in a shroud of black.

Marco now truly smiling at seeing him, feelin gat least a little better then he had been.

"Tom!", he said, almost a little too happily.

"Hey guys, sorry i'm late, got held up in my last class...ready for lunch?", he fixed himself up and winked at the group. "I want to get pizza this time bit I might go for the chicken, but I wanna treat you guys this time If i can so you let me know if there's anything on the menu you want, I made some great allowance helping mom clean up our house.".

One of these days marco would have to pay for him, repay how much he liked to pay for his friends so much.

Jackie greeted tom herself, complimenting him on his outfit as they all started heading off to get something to eat. She and star continued talking, the boys behind them, tom looking at the back of star's head as they did. Marco tugging on the straps of is backpack, looking for a subject to talk about that would distract his mind from it's strange mess. Though the stares he was receiving from some of his classmates were not helping at all.

Lucky for him, tom was already ready to talk.

"Hey...so I was thinking, would you wanna go to a concert sometimes...together?", he clutched his jacket, biting at his lips. "Love Sentence is touring soon in the future so...I was wondering...if you'd like to go together, I've never gotten to go to a concert with a friend before...and we had so much fun singing their songs together so if it's cool with you I could get us tickets?".

Marco didn't even have to think about it too hard.

A wide grin on his face followed by a fast, "Yes!", a concert sounded awesome frankly, it was a good time to just get out of the house and get some fresh air. And he could use more fresh air these days, anything to distract him. It meant her didn't have to worry about jeremy or Brittney or school or jackie. He could sit back and have fun and not have all these thoughts hurting his brain.

Tom seemed to just know how to distract him.

Though as he felt tom playfully put an arm around marco's shoulders he felt his body tense up, though he didn't say anything to tom about it, not wanting to make himself look like an idiot in front of the boy.

Ever since the sleepover he's started feeling more...strange around tom, like he enjoyed his presence even more then usual or he got more worried about screwing up in front of tom. Marco lately had summed it up as him having grown much closer to tom, after all, sharing such personal stuff to each other was a clear sign of them becoming closer friends and trusting each other.

And marco just felt more anxious about breaking tom's trust or screwing up in front of him.

That'd explain a lot of his actions recently frankly.

Star and Jackie continued to remain talking as they got to the cafeteria, all of them getting lunch together before jackie said she had to head to a different table with some of her other friends, leaving star and the boys to sit at their regular table. Tom seemed to be checking to marco to see if that bothered him but marco seemed fine, and marco simply shrugged to him.

"It's ok, she sits with us on most days anyway.".

They started munching on pizza and talking about their recent classes, tom gulping down some chocolate milk and going off about how much he's been enjoying art class recently. Star joined it, if only to talk about how much she fingerpaints and how much the teachers tell her she's using way too much glitter on a sculpture of all things, making tom call her out on how that would ruin the clay.

Yeah these two were on some similar levels weren't they?

No wonder tom liked star.

Though marco did seem to feel a little left out as they laughed together, even if tom was edging him on with other conversations to get him to share about his classes today and how stressful his homework was. He liked seeing them friends, it was way better then seeing them fight like star was basically doing, but something just seemed to bug him.

He pushed those thoughts away, he didn't want to be selfish, not when tom liked star so much.

Tom didn't have a problem with him and jackie, he shouldn't care so much about tom and star.

He pushed it down, taking breaths, he needed to relax and focus, he was hanging out with his best friends and he was letting his weird emotions get to him. He took a sip of juice before taking out his phone to show off some cute cat photos to his pals. If anything were to distract these two, it seemed to be extremely cute animals, especially tiny fluffy ones.

Their smiling faces helped make marco feel a little better, tom and star showing off some animal clips and pics as well to the boy. They were both so cheerful, so goofy, seeing them happy really made marco's day. He just liked having them around to keep him company and stop him from spending his days alone and chasing after a girl. Sure, he on occasion hung out with people like Ferguson and Alphonso, a couple of nerds he knew since elementary school.

But tom and star felt different, like genuine friends, not like he hung out just not to be alone and worry his parents.

He felt something with them, he really did.

Maybe that was why he was getting so emotional, he found something valuable.

And he didn't want to lose it.

"Geez...that girl is still staring at us...", star mumbled, staring off to another table where brittney and the other cheerleaders sat, gossiping and glancing over to their table on occasion. It was mostly probably more about tom but tom didn't seem to either notice most of the stuff going around about him, or he pretty much was ignoring it like crazy.

Or maybe people were just too afraid to say it to his face after finding out how strong he was.

That would check out.

Tom glared at the head cheerleader, maybe he didn't know about the rumors but he did know she was giving them all a rather unpleasant look right now and that was enough for him to not like this girl.

She smelled of bad news all over, like she was looking for anything to start something. He'd dealt with people like that before of course, this was far from anything new for him, but there was a apart of him that wanted to tell her off for her disgusted gaze. He didn't like the way she was looking at him, star, or marco as he kept his anger and annoyance in silence.

Though he tried to keep positive around his friends, trying to simply ignore her gaze, "Who cares...anyways...can I come over to study with you guys? Not because I need a lot of help but uh...considering star's grades...". She pouted at tom, how often were him and marco both gonna keep commenting on her grades? They weren't THAT bad were they?

"That seems fair...", marco could never say no to having tom come over and hang out.

She gave marco a dirty look, though it wasn't clear if she was bothered more by the comment or tom just coming along. She never liked to be lectured on her grades by anyone, whether her mom or marco as they were the ones to normally do it.

Marco didn't even defend himself, crossing his arms.

"What? You don't exactly get a ton better from studying with me, maybe tom might help a lot more! I mean, it's worth a shot, besides...you barely listen to me when we study anyway, I don't think tom being there will make it any worse then it already is.".

Besides, more hangout time with tom was always a good thing, especially since marco was in a bad mood to begin with.

Star protested even after lunch and their last period of classes, clearly still not happy about studying. But with tom being dropped off with them and the fact they always studied at marco's house, she didn't have much of a say in the matter. Tom was going to stay no matter what she she didn't wanna go home and deal with her parents instead, so studying it was.

Tom was gonna study with them, period.

And hopefully it might help her grades in some way so star didn't end up repeating a year of school.

As star headed upstairs to marco's room in a rush, marco patted tom on the back, " It's ok, she'll get over it, besides...it'll give you more time to spend with your crush and stuff.". It was a sweet gesture and tom seemed to appreciate it, but marco couldn't lie and say he felt like he wanted to spend more time with tom instead. Not to keep tom from his crush, but seeing them having fun without him...made him feel weird.

He wanted to spend time with him, just a little more today, if only because he felt he needed the company.

Lucky for him, tom seemed to be in no rush to mess with star, asking marco to grab some snacks before they headed up. Marco helping him make some cheesy pretzels to bring up to his room and to share with their weird friend. Tom smiling bright and laughing at the jokes marco was making to him, mostly about how star tried everything in her power to not study.

He really liked hearing tom laugh.

Maybe soon they could do another sleepover, but in marco's room next time.

Tom playfully butted him as they went into marco's room, where star already put off studying to play on her phone instead, ignoring both boys intentionally and overall just wasting time so she didn't have to study. It was so much like star, she was like a painful little sister, and marco hoped to god his baby sister didn't turn out like she when she got to be this age.

Star would probably be a bad influence on her.

"Star~", marco said, teasingly, "C'mon, we got study time!".

"Yeah, well I am studying!", she said in a rather rude voice all things considered, of course she hated studying but still.

Marco looked over her phone to see she was playing one of those cute mobile dress up games and raised an eyebrow, "Uh huh? Studying what? What to wear tomorrow?". He got it, studying was not fun at all, but star had to do it or she would get in serious trouble. Last thing she needed was another reason for her mom to get frustrated with her by the sounds of it.

"Star...c'mon, promise, it won't be so bad this time...we can start with English if you want", he pulled out a book from his backpack from their class and waved it in front of her, "You gotta read star".

"Read to me instead, it'll be more fun!", she said back, still on her phone, marco tapping his foot like an impatient mother.

"But if you're not paying attention, what's the point?".

The food was set aside and tom took the book from marco, breezing through it, "Well, maybe the best way for star to study is to do it in a transformative way? Maybe we like...tell her the story in a way to make it exciting for her?". Marco could see what tom was getting at and honestly it's possible it might actually work, though tom had better come up with something good for it to work.

Yet tom seemed to want marco's guidance, judging by how he was looking at him. He still appreciated that tom was asking him for impust, even if marco didn't always know what he was supposed to do to help.

"Uh...no offence tom, I'm not much of the "Creative type", I'm more the flighty nerd guy, not really the 'artsy' type", but the boy shook his head, "C'mon marco, you love action and adventure, you got some creative juices flowing up there, besides...I could use your help, so maybe this is a good time to maybe get a hang of it?". He was practically begging for it with those eyes and marco couldn't say no to him, guess it really couldn't hurt to help out his best friends with this.

"Alright, fine...I'll give it a shot with you...so...you finished this book already?".

He nodded, "I sorta read it at home after dinner, i'm not a super big reader so i thought the sooner i finish it the better so i can play video games and stuff, but knowing you you're been reading it chapter by chapter and are still only halfway through the book...right?". How did he know? Was marco really this predictable that tom knew him like the back of his hand? Though tom seemed pretty proud he got marco on that one, he was really getting a hang of his personality.

"Don't...spoil it for me...ok?", he asked under his breath.

"I got you...besides, we're not saying exactly what happened, but helping star processing it in a way she'll like!". That was true, marco would probably finish the rest without truly being spoiled on what happened since tom was masking everything. Hopefully star would actually understand instead of being dreadfully confused about everything tom was trying to say to her.

But who knew with star, she might just ignore all of it, she tended to forget a lot of what she was taught days after anyway.

"Star? Hey, here...we'll tell you a bit about the story", tom tapped her shoulder and she grumpily turned around to see tom open the book and pulled marco to sit next to him on the bed.

She didn't seem all that excited, but what else could they do?

"So in this story, we got this cool fierce girl, and she's out looking for treasure, and she's working with these guys she doesn't really like...but learns to like, and there's betrayal and she has to survive...". He was summing it up and making it more exciting then it probably was, but it was getting star's attention, at least for a little bit. Her crown dissipating a little.

"So she like fights for her life against enemies and well...", he looked to marco, "Not to spoil the ending but...it gets wild!".

Star looked a bit skeptic, but more interested then she did before.

So it seemed to be working, even if it was only for a little bit.

Tom continued further, not disclosing all the details and replacing some of the aspects with something else but star was starting to get more and more interested then this then her phone as tom went on, marco quickly joining in. Though maybe the two of them were getting off track just a little as it devolved into a story involving fairs and dragons and demons.

Tom insisting that the demons aren't evil, but just tricky, and that there was a demon who was in love with the human girl protagonist.

With tom's love of creepy and spooky things, his want to have the scary monsters be seen as good people was rather unsurprising, instead of being defeated, tom wanted them as the hero of the story.

Honestly he should his own story someday, he seemed to really enjoy it and have a knack for it. With his fun demonic heros and a magical land, it seems like something tom would have a blast doing since he seemed to be able to come up with this all off the bat.

Definitely not in the story, but marco had to admire tom's creativity, he was pretty good.

The study session actually seemed to get star to take out her book and start reading, even if technically they weren't being entirely truthful, but getting her excited about reading was a good thing if any.

Hopefully this would get her to maybe read more books in the future if they could do that.

As the session progressed, marco felt they had made some progress, even if they had partially goofed off quite a bit throughout the whole thing. Their homework got finished and the three soon found themselves watching some movies together downstairs later that night, marco resting in between his two best friends and laughing alongside them both.

He was actually feeling a lot better, maybe they could get more study sessions like this soon?

Where marco could just rest and relax and enjoy himself and not...worry so much, like he seemed to do way too much as is.

Though he soon felt drowsy, clearly everything of the day finally wearing him down. His eyes were starting to close and his head was nodding off, he was sinking into the couch and he could barely keep himself up and awake anymore, his friend's voices becoming a blur.

His head falling over unknowingly onto tom's shoulder next to him, tired and falling to sleep. Tom was not yet asleep but didn't push marco away either, allowing the boy to rest against him, snoring softly. Tom smiled, watching the rest of the movie with his friends next to him. Ignoring star, who was staring right at them with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

Tom closing his eyes for a nap himself, his head resting on marco's.

Comfortable, and happy.

Marco woke up later, stretching himself out only to find the bodies of his two friends were both gone. His hands instead patting the surface of the couch and his eyes finally awaking to find himself alone in his living room.

He rubbed his eyes, thinking maybe he was dreaming, but as he blinked again, no, he was indeed awake. His best friends just were no longer beside him on the couch, or anywhere in sight for that matter.

His friends went home? Without even telling him bye? No, that didn't seem like something they'd do.

Or were they in the bathroom or something?

He yawned, how long had he been asleep exactly? He remembered the movie and next thing he new...he was nodding off.

Then he heard voices coming from upstairs and got up and off the couch, fixing his hair to head upstairs and see where his friends were. The voices seemingly coming from the boy's bedroom. Marco wanted to just head in and see them before they headed home tonight, but he found himself pressing an ear against his own door instead, wondering what the two could be talking about that led to them locking themselves inside his own room.

This was probably wrong.

But-

Something seemed...off, and marco had to know what was going on just in case his friends were up to something bad. For all he knew star was about to do something stupid and dangerous again.

"Are you going to tell him?", star asking, seemingly coming from where his bed normally was, probably meaning she was sitting on it. Knowing her, she was the one who suggested to go in marco's room, janna told her well enough about it's locks after all.

"I'm not sure...I mean, I want to...I think I should but...what would he think? I mean, you and me...we're-"., Tom said, the sound of footsteps following him, he must've been pacing around.

"I'm sure he wouldn't care THAT much tom, probably", she said back, and knowing her, she was probably shrugging or something, he legs hanging off the bed and kicking.

"They why do I have to tell him, why not you?"

The pacing seemed to stop.

"You know why...if you don't say anything he'll figure it out on his own eventually...It's hard enough keeping it secret as is...".

Secret? What secret?

Tom had a secret? And star was in on it?

"Star, even you avoided telling him, clearly it does matter to you if you haven't said anything already...", knowing tom he was crossing his arms at her, making a face and looking disapproving to the girl. At leas that's how marco imagined it going knowing his friends right now.

Star didn't respond, marco pressing against the door further.

"Ok fine, but like...he's kinda our best friend...we gotta stop meeting in secret, otherwise he's gonna walk in on us and well...I'm not sure how we'd talk our way out of it. We're already on a tightrope around him at this point, you know he'll catch on soon.". Tightrope? Star was terrible at lying to marco about much of anything! What could she possibly hide from him he wouldn't know about?

"We'll need time to figure it out...I guess...".

Star sighed, "Yeah, just...be careful in the meantime...".

"I could say the same for you...you aren't exactly super subtle...", tom teased, and marco could imagine star pouting and crossing her arms. "Meh, let's just get back to marco...we have to head out soon anyway...we don't wanna leave without saying goodbye!". Marco felt a shudder through his body before quickly moving from the door to head back downstairs and back on the couch.

He didn't want them to know he heard them, or knew something was up.

Though the whole thing left his mind wandering as he tried to pretend to be asleep, first tom and star talk and work things out without him knowing. Now he finds they're sharing secrets and talking behind his back? Maybe he was taking this too far, his friends could talk without him, but it just...bothered him. He had so many questions, that when the two came back downstairs, he failed to hide his nervousness as he "Woke up".

"Hey Marco! Sorry to wake you, but we better get back home!", Tom motioned to star, "Thanks for inviting me...i'll text you later ok?". It seemed tom nor star had noticed marco's weird smile too well, probably assuming marco was just startled awake by their presence. Tom went in for the hug, marco wrapping his arms around him softly before star joined in.

The two sending him waves and smiles as they headed out, marco left feeling stranger and stranger.

What was going on?

Marco spent way too long that night trying to process everything, his emotions were getting weird, his friends were acting weird.

Was he just going crazy?

He was probably taking this all way too seriously, whatever tom and star wanted to tell them they could tell them in their own time, he shouldn't be snooping through something that was personal for them. It just felt...strange, he never got left out by his best friends like this before, he was used to star and tom sharing stuff with him, what made this different?

Did marco do something wrong?

He was beating himself up mentally for thinking like that, of course not, it must be something different entirely.

Hopefully.

Hanging out with them the next day, marco was struggling to try and hide the fact that he knew something. That he knew something that he wasn't supposed to know about, trying to be normal as the two of them talked, he was too distracted to even focus on jackie when she waved to him that day. He tried to play it off as lack of sleep but he did feel like tom suspected something.

Tom was already getting their tickets and smiling and talking and Marco couldn't even enjoy it as much as he wanted to, worried he'd slip that he spied on his best friends and listened in on them.

Star had lessons that night and tom told marco he'd be busy that night helping his parents go shopping, so marco was left to his own devices as he did his homework. He couldn't focus though, it was hard to when his mind was wandering so much. He wished he had his friends here to help distract him but all he had now were his own thoughts and nothing else.

He sighed, looking at his empty bedroom.

He wondered if they were talking to each other more often without him, and what they said to each other.

Tap tap.

"AHHH!", marco nearly tossed his book aside, practically fainting as janna opened his window and popped her way inside. The girl loved to do stuff like this but BOY was marco not in the mood for her nonsense. Janna must've known marco was alone tonight, deciding it was a great time to break in and mess with him, because of course this was the time she wanted to break in.

"JANNA!".

"Hey marco!", she said, smirking, shutting the window behind her, "Mind if i drop in? No? Good.". She casually strode in, right to Marco's closet, digging through it for anything of use. "So star and tom are out tonight? Never thought they'd leave you alone, they're always attached to your hip like glue. But hey, finally means I get my chance to hang out in here.".

"Since when do you care about if you break in when people are looking?".

She shrugged, "I don't, I just prefer to not have any distractions when I'm bothering you.". She said it so casually, and marco snorted at her while she went through his things, though considering his resistance to her actions, janna had a feeling something was up. Marco usually started flipping out about her but now he just seemed...blank and sad.

She looked at his face, stopping what she was doing before giving him a look.

"Uh...what's wrong with you?".

"It's none of your beeswax janna...".

However, this only encouraged her, standing up, "Y'know, if you don't tell me i can easily hypnotize you into telling my yourself right? So I mean, would you rather tell em now or have me spill all your dark secrets to the world?". Marco became red faced, of course she went there, of course, he should have known better then to give her any reason to be suspicious.

Fantastic.

"Look it's just...star and tom are talking without me and I think they're hiding something from me and...".

"Oh? So they're dating now in secret and you're getting jealous?".

Marco was caught entirely off guard from that response, "W-what?".

"Dude, c'mon, it's obvious, they're dating and have no idea how to tell you...probably think it'll hurt your friendship or something...c'mon now", she said this so plainly, like marco was stupid for never actually thinking it beforehand. Marco was not sure how to respond, it was just like janna to make stuff like this up for the purpose of messing with him.

But she almost seemed to make sense, her claim at least.

Tom and Star did meet in secret without telling marco and seem to patch things up between them, and they did seem to look at each other a bit, and he did know tom had been pursuing her for a bit. But without telling marco? That didn't seem like tom much at all, tom and him were always talking about their crushes and helping each other out , why not say anything?

Maybe he could see Star not tell him considering how she felt about tom before.

But Tom?

"In denial huh?", Janna was being way too smug right now and marco didn't like one bit of it, "Hey, that's fine dude, don't complain to be when they start meeting more in secret, going on dates, kissing at lunch in front of you...". marco suddenly got very red faced and pushed her away from him, "Just...stop, I-I'm not...jealous, even if they were dating now...why would I be jealous? They'd be happy right? it's what tom wants."

Janna was still smirking, "I mean, it's getting a bit obvious...but I mean, it's fine, it'll be funnier watching you deal with it yourself". Marco was about ready to kick her from his home at this point, having it up to here with this. "Look, I've told everyone countless time over and over...ever since she arrived, me and star are NOT an item?! Ok? I don't have a crush on her!".

"I mean, I didn't say it had to be star...".

"Out!"

Marco was already pushing her out of his room and shutting the door behind her before resting his back against it and sighing, what if she was right? What if Tom and Star were dating in secret?

What if marco really was starting to get...jealous?

He shook his head, no no, he's starting to fall for more of her nonsense again, he really should stop falling for it, unless he wanted to get himself into more trouble. Janna was not the most truth worthy person around and he should know better then to listen to a word coming from her mouth. She was simply trying to mess with him, mess with his emotions and get him upset.

And Marco was just letting her.

Next time he saw star and tom, he was going to be a better friend, more trusting, less of a mess as he was for now.

If janna ruined their friendships over this nonsense he was going to explode.

He took a moment to breathe, he just needed some sleep, he was getting too worked up over this. Then he heard janna talking to his parents downstairs and immediately opened the door, he shoved janna out of his room, not his house! Who knows what she was doing downstairs! Marco quickly opened the door and headed downstairs, seeing his parents laughing with janna on the couch, making marco even more frustrated as they all waved at him.

"Marco! We didn't know you had a friend over!".

"I don't.", he said bitterly.

Janna smirked at him, lying back on the couch and enjoying herself, "Marco was just telling me about his crush on-". Marco shushed her as loud as possible, "Sorry guys, but janna is leaving, before pulling janna from the couch. Janna didn't even protest as marco pulled her away and towards the door," C'mon, stop busting into my house, what if i was naked?!".

"Fine with me.".

"Out."

Janna was pushed out the door and before marco could even close it she leaned herself against it, "C'mon marco, you've had to have at least considered it? You sure aren't getting this way about jackie." Marco was so red faced and embarrassed and he just wanted her out, shutting the door in her face, what did she know about his feelings? She couldn't read minds.

And she was questioning how much he liked jackie? She was with them since kindergarten! Of course she was aware of marco's long crush on jackie! She used to tease him about it all the time! Marco sighed and locked the door, his parents watching him curiously, probably worried something was seriously wrong with him. He smiled and pointed to the stairs, "I'm...going to get some rest...I'll see you tomorrow.".

He quickly headed upstairs, still red in the face.

Opening his door to find-

"Janna!?".

"Yo."

There she was, sitting on his bet, eating chips.

He forgot to lock the window.

"Janna for pete's sake, why can't you just leave me alone!", marco shouted at her, janna munching on her food to herself. "Alright fine marco, i'll go, but like, you outta be careful, before you hurt someone's feelings.". She shrugged before heading out of the window, the window shutting behind her and leaving marco in the dust. Marco feeling a weight off him but somehow...he almost regretted her going.

Like he didn't want to be alone.

He sat on his knees, thinking heavily about all the words coming from janna's mouth, messing with his hair.

"I don't...I don't know why my best friends don't want to tell me the truth but...whatever reason it's for, it has to be important to them", he liked his lips, brushing at his face, "They're my friends, if they're dating, i should just wait till they come out and tell me, wait until they're ready...right? Right. I have to be here to support them, I...I need to trust them.".

Then he remembered what else she said and shook his head.

"No no...none of that, they're just my friends...star is my best friend, tom is...", he felt himself hesitate with that one a bit more, "Best friend, he's just my best friend...and tomorrow...i'm gonna be the best friend i can possibly be for both of them".

[hex-craft-art]

Finally got the concepts for Shaylyn’s wannabe bullies AKA: Team Champs

Okay so these characters are based off of some people in my real life who have… for lack of a better term, screwed me over. They are supposed to appear in the comic I have planned and they are there for 2 reasons essentially:

To help me vent in a healthy way. I am mostly over the betrayal but I think that having them in this comic could help me cope better and get it out there in a healthier way

I can use the bullshit that happens in my life and add it to Shaylyn to further develop her as a character with issues

So, here’s the characters from left to right:

(1st pic)

Valentina (Val) the Rat: Based on the girl who didn’t respect the fact and wanted her nowhere near me because of our past of being bitchy to each other (I fully acknowledge I am not innocent when it comes to being kind and having the best reactions) and I was extremely uncomfortable being in a place where I HAD felt safe surrounded by people who I thought liked me and trusted and now that she, someone I didn’t have a good past with and didn’t trust one bit, was around, I no longer felt that security. I will go further into details (not specifics) in the comic, probably in the later arcs though. Anyway, so the reason she’s a rat is...well… rats are associated with being sneaky and underhanded (at least in my head) and I’m all about symbolism so… yeah, not much else to say about that. As for why she only has bangs, in reality, this dumbass had a fucking chelsea haircut. Also, her shirt is supposed to be ironic.

Macy the Mouse: Alright, so like I said before, I enjoy symbolism, hence why Macy is a mouse. I associate mice with being meek and cowards and that seems to fit who Macy was based off of. I knew Macy the longest out of everyone outside of Val and when we were younger, I was quite violent, especially in my language, and I usually said stuff like “If anyone hurts my friends they’re gonna be in the hospital” and stupid shit like that but she would parrot it back pretty much but saying that was what she would to. I kind of knew she was full of shit, at least about the violence part because the girl couldn’t even break a twig if she wanted to, but little did I know she was also just bullshiting about being a ride or die friend too because this girl left me TWICE for Val, only coming back the first time when Val did something to her (again getting into it in the comics). So yeah, she’s meek and a coward so a mouse seemed to fit perfectly

Selena the Coyote: When looking for an animal to represent this girl, I wanted something that represents trickery and I got a coyote which I read somewhere, sometimes lure dogs into the woods by pretending they just want to play, only to kill the dogs and eat the (grotesque I know) and that sounded about right for this girl. She tricked me into thinking she was nice and sweet, that she was nothing like Val who she was already friends with (though I didn’t know that initially) only to find out that nope! She was just as bad!

(2nd pic)

Mabel the Sheep: Based off a girl who couldn’t be fucked to listen to both sides of a story where there was no fucking evidence and esentially just thought the only person from this group who stayed friends with me and is a fucking good friend too was an asshole, hence why she’s a sheep

Colton the Chihuahua: the guy who accused my friend of saying rude shit and also the dumbass who essentially talked behind my fucking back and said I was “all bark, no bite” because I constantly talked about how I’d get into a fight for my friends, I may not win, but I’d still do it because they’re my friends just because I never have had to go to bat before but never grew a big enough pair to say shit to my face. Also told my friend he accused he’d punch him in the face constantly when my friend was just trying to ignore him but never did anything so yeah, a chihuahua, a dog that barks a lot but can’t do shit (still pissed at him for doing that to my friend). Honestly didn’t have a clue what his color palette should be and just said “fuck it” with the shoes

Michelle the Black Heron: probably the hardest for me to find an animal for but eventually found the black heron a few days back and they’re known for making a dark patch in the water to make fish think it’s safe only to eat them. Yeah, I thought this girl would stand by me, having gone through similar shit, but nope, I felt like she cared and all of a sudden yeah, no, she doesn’t really give a shit about me because Val was there now and I don’t like Val but she likes Val, so my feelings aren’t valid. Also wearing a pineapple themed Hawaiin shirt because she wore those and had a pineapple aesthetic to the point I still can’t look at pineapple decor without remembering this whole situation

Phew, that actually felt kind of good to get off my chest. Like I said, more will be in the comics (Right now it’s set to be revealed in the Forces arc). Like I said before, this is supposed to be a healthier way for me to vent about something I never really got closure for and fucked up my mental state even further but I do want to say right here, right now, everything will be from my side of the story and that should be kept in mind. It should also be remembered that I’m far from an angel in this situation, I screwed up many times and those will also be addressed. 

Also, no one’s real name was used here and I don’t plan on ever saying who these people really are because witch hunts are stupid. 

All the characters belong to me but the Sonic franchise belongs to SEGA

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Ice Cold Betrayal (Phantom x fem!Reader)

This is just an idea I had for a Phantom x fem!Reader! Meer wanted me to post it so here y’all go~! 

I didn’t clean this up or edit it at all lmao we die like men!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

like okay my idea is what if anti wanted to cause some mayhem so he faked some pics of him getting frisky with phantom's s/o. and they looked REAL.  mostly because anti got a mimic demon he knows to shift into s/o's form for this shit.  and he went to phantom and showed him and laughed in his face and then bailed but phantom was furious. he'd been very busy the last month or so but you'd said you'd understood and he'd trusted you but then he finds out you cheated on him (u didn't tho) and he sorta just...snaps. he doesn't think he just reacts.

he ports into your shared penthouse and you smile when you see him and that just upsets him more and now you're worried because he looks really upset but before you can ask what's wrong he grabs you by your hair. you yelp when he drags you off the couch, you scream for him to stop but he ignores you and a split second later you're no longer in your suite, instead you're outside on the street behind his hotel. the freezing chill of the city winter has you shaking instantly, this not helped by how you were in just a comfy t-shirt and sleep pants (you had just been relaxing at home)

he dropped you onto the ground and you shakily stood up, shivering you look up at him in confusion 

 "Phantom what the hell-" 

he cuts you off with a snarl that has you stepping back in fear, actual fear. he tells you that you're banned from any and all businesses he owns or even partially owns and if you know whats good for you then you'll stay away. you're confused and hurt and ask him what's going on, why's he upset. he scoffs 

"Don't play dumb. You know what you did, and you know I don't allow cheaters in my establishments. Now kindly fuck off for the rest of your life." 

and then in a blink he's gone and you're left half dressed outside on the street in the dead of winter.

all the shops within like a 30 block radius are at least partially owned by phantom. the man has his fingers in a lot of pies and he alerted each and every one that you were not to be served or even allowed entrance. so there's not even anywhere you can go in to warm up. nowhere to get food or water either. you have your phone on you but you check it and see phantom cancelled the minutes (he paid for it so) you're stuck with nowhere to go, no way to call your family, and no money or shelter for the night.

well you've no way to do anything except for try to find somewhere to stay for the night and after getting glares from the couple shops you passed you decided it wasn't worth it to try going in. so with nowhere else to go (and your feet freezing) you shuffled as fast as you could to the nearby park where you curled up under the bridge that went over the bike trail. it was the only cover you could find. it started snowing soon after you settled into your spot.

you were out there for hours. you couldn't feet your hands, feet, nose, or cheeks. not to mention the fact that you were drifting in and out of consciousness. you vaguely heard a ringing sound but you were too out of it to think hard about where it was coming from. 

a bit earlier mare smoke traveled into phantoms place looking for you both. he'd tried texting you and then calling you but he got a 'this phone is no longer in service' message that had him confused.

he looks around, no you? but he finds phantom sitting in your shared bedroom drinking whiskey. he walks in and asks where you are and he's been calling for ages. that’s when phantom unloads the whole thing onto mare and mare just listens silently. mare lets him finish then silence sits between them both for a minute before mare asks  

"And when did this all happen? Like when did anti say this happened?" 

phantom says on so and so date three days ago and mare tells phantom he's stupid. phantom looks up from his drink and mare looks pissed, eyes black and the tear tracks under them black as well.

"I know anti's full of shit cuz she was with me then. We spent the day pulling pranks then we came back here and binged The Office til she fell asleep." 

dread starts to fill phantoms gut. mare starts screaming at him, his form half smoke as he calls phantom every shitty thing in the book, demanding to know where he left you. 

"Where'd you leave her asshole?! I've gotta find her so where'd you dump her, huh?!"

it's a huge scream fest but phantom pulls his phone out and makes a call and soon your phone is back to normal and he starts calling you over and over but you don’t answer. that makes them both nervous so phantom has his tech person track the GPS on your phone. you didn't get far. they see you're about 10 blocks down at the park. 

"SHE'S AT THE FUCKING PARK?! IN 20 DEGREE WEATHER!?" 

 mare is...upset.

well they find you, huddled under a bridge and passed out, and the skin on your face/hands/feet looks red. needless to say they take to to the ER. you're rushed in and they have to wait to see if you're okay. some time later a doc comes out and calls the two and tells them you've got the beginning stages of pneumonia and mild frostbite on your toes, a few fingers, and your ears. thankfully you weren't exposed to the cold long enough for the frostbite to be severe enough to need amputation but the doc says you'll need to stay in observation until you were in the clear.

things are...stilted when you wake up later. 

mare explains what happened (phantom is too ashamed to say anything) you don’t say anything for a time until finally you just say, 

"I'll stop by and pick up my stuff once they discharge me." 

oh boy that whips phantom into action 

“What, why? You don't have to do that." 

but you refuse to look at him. 

"No, I think I do. You made it clear that I'm no longer welcome there. I'll go stay at a friend's or something til I can get a job so I can support myself again." 

phantom tells you he's sorry for being so gullible and to please not leave. you don't want to hear it really. this whole thing was a freezing cold wake up call.

"Phantom when we started dating I had a job and my own place. And over time you convinced me I didn't need that job and you could support me and soon after you and I moved in together."

"....I completely relied on you and your support. Fuck...you even pay for my phone."

"I trusted you more than anyone else. And at the first shitty doctored photo you cut me off like a diseased limb and threw me out on the street like wet garbage. You didn't even let me try to explain my side."

"...I just....I can't rely so heavily on someone like that anymore. Not after last night. I have to stand on my own two feet. They're the only support I can unwaveringly trust it seems."

he says he understands he messed up bad but pleads with her not to just leave. he says she can stay at his hotel if she needs. but she stares down at the blanket in her lap and sighs. 

"I just...need to have my own space right now. The...level of trust you had in me apparently wasn't on the same level as what I had in you so I think some time apart will be good for us. I just...I need to think, Phantom." 

i’m not sure she'd agree to get back together with him tbh

if she did agree to try again, things are clearly different. before he would sometimes just spoil her with fancy dates and gifts and she'd shyly accept them. but now they make her uncomfortable at best. she no longer appreciates expensive gifts and would prefer having her own place. she also got a job and gave him back his cell phone and got her own. and it hurts him every time she winces when he buys her something. each frown she gives is a stark reminder of his catastrophic fuck up.

she accepts the stuff he gets her, begrudgingly. 

but he pops over to her place one day to pick her up for a date and she's still in the shower so he explores her apartment. it's small, but tidy. he goes into her room and stops when he sees the stuff he gave her. all sat neatly by her closet, all unopened and unused. 

he knew it wasn't because she didn't like the stuff. it was all stuff she'd desired but he knew in his heart she didn't trust him enough to use or wear any of it and that hurt more than he thought it would. he knew it was all sat like that, ready to give back to him, should he do something stupid like before.

i think things would slowly start to get closer to where they were before after one night phantom drinks a bit too much and actually cries all over s/o, telling her he's so sorry for hurting her like this and wishing he could go back to stop it but he cant. how she's gonna be hurt forever because of his shitty anger and she didn't deserve that and he doesn't deserve her but he loves her and he trusts her even if he was shit at proving it and if she gives him another chance then he swears he'll do everything he can to prove he deserves her love again.

s/o before then had never seen phantom cry, not even the night she almost got frostbite so this was a bit jarring. then she feels sad because this has apparently been eating away at him for a very long time. and despite her...more self sufficient behavior she really has forgiven him. she still wants to keep her job and pay for her own necessities but aside from that she's happy to start over with him so the next day, 

after he's gotten past his headache, she comes in wearing a red dress he bought her. he's like 'you're wearing it?' and she just smiles and kisses his cheek and asks him if he wants to go on a date. they end up getting some dinner at one of his clubs.

yeah it's gonna take a lot of time and effort on both of their ends, and communication but i think they can salvage their relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here just thought maybe some of y’all might wanna see this!

@smolwash @sunrisehoneybee @sierracolorstheworldofwords @tiny-yan-anon

[caffeine-and-tears]

Michael Mell x Gay!Male!Reader

Title: None  Character: Michael Mell x Gay Male reader  Type: Headcanons  Triggers: Swearing, Homophobia, Mentions of a panic attack  Plot: None

ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before y’all date He lowkey hates you

 It’s not like you were mean or anything He just didn’t know how to deal with how he felt

You’re cool with pretty much everyone 

At first, he doesn’t realize he has a crush on you 

He just thought of you as Christine’s best friend 

He pretty much ignored you

But you weren’t having any of that 

“Hey, Michael!” 

“Hey”

“What’cha listening to?” 

“Bob Marley” 

“That’s cool!” 

“Thanks, I guess?” 

He would ignore how fast his heart was beating

And just leave 

He thought you were talking to him for some prank 

But the boi has no idea how fine he is 

Christine will talk to Jeremy just so you could talk to Michael 

But he’d always disappear off to 7/11 

You were determined to one day call Michael Mell your boyfriend

One day you got sick of his bs 

You stood up on top of a table in the cafeteria a week before prom 

“YO I’M GAY FOR YOU MICHAEL MELL, WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?” 

Even for a theater nerd, you were hella extra 

His mind went into overdrive 

You?????Like him???? 

And you’re also gay????????????? 

He doesn’t really know what to do 

So he panics and leaves

 Which makes you panic 

You must’ve done something wrong

You caught up with him later 

He expected you to say it was all a joke 

But no you came up to him with an entire speech about how you were sorry if you made him uncomfortable

Then something just clicked inside him

You were still rambling when he gave you that signature bright smile 

You almost swooned 

He hesitantly took your hand 

“I-it’s fine, I was just a bit surprised that’s all but if you really want me to go to prom with you then we’ve got a date” 

Yes that was a Bob Marley reference 

The nerd

“You’re such a dork” 

You laughed and this time it was his turn to swoon

So he went as your prom date 

Before you asked him out he was just planning to skip it 

His moms were so proud 

T H O U S A N D S O F P I C T U R E S 

His insta was full of pics of you bc he was so happy to have you as his date 

As soon as you saw him you just thought ‘Welp if I was straight, not any more’ 

You met up with Christine and Jeremy and went in one vehicle 

You guys thumb wrestled to decide where to eat 

Michael let you win because you’re cute 

You knew that so that’s how everyone ended up eating Sushi and slushies 

When you actually got there Poor Michael wanted to stay by the snacks

 You dragged him to the dance floor 

“C’mon Mikey, why not!” 

“Promise you won’t laugh”

 “Yeah” 

“I’m totally helpless with dancing” 

You resisted the urge to sing Hamilton

 “So am I, but it’s fun. If I had to choose one person to look ridiculous with, it’d be you” 

HIS FACE TURNED AS RED AS HIS HOODIE 

That was the moment he realized he was in love with you 

“That’s so cheesy” 

“Whatever, come dance with me Mell”

There was an all-out shipping war between the power couples You/Michael, Rich/Jake and Christine/Jeremy 

Eventually, you and Michael won 

No one can even be mad 

Y’all so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute 

When you and Michael made official Rich flipped 

He was your biggest shipper tbh 

Jake shipped #stagedorks more tho 

Chloe and brook shipped RichJake 

Despite that Jer and Chris have double dates with you all the time

Your parent/parent/guardian adores Michael 

He’s so polite when he talks to them 

He really wants to make a good impression! 

He almost had a panic attack before meeting them 

“They’re gonna hate me” 

He wasn’t good enough for you anyways, how could he fool them into thinking he was? 

Instead of going into a whole paragraph about how he was in fact good enough you just grabbed him 

Forced him to lie down with you 

And started to hum some Bob Marley song under your breath  

Mostly bc you didn’t remember the words 

For a while he just stayed in your arms while listening to your heartbeat

You rested your head on top of his and he was looking at you with heart eyes 

After half an hour he calmed down 

You realized this would be a good time to reassure him 

“Listen So what if they don’t like you, I’m hopelessly in love with you so I guess you’re stuck with me “ 

He mocked annoyance with the biggest smile on his face 

But he knew you guys were going to be okay

You both get addicted to each other's interests 

You ended up spending hours playing video games with him 

And he ended up binge watching RuPaul's drag race 

He pretends to hate it and oo it for the cuddles 

But both of ya get really invested

SPEAKING OF CUDDLES THE BOI LOVES THEM AND WILL NOT BE TOO ASHAMED TO ASK 

ALL THE TIME 

“Babeeee, cuddle meeeee” 

“Michael we’re in the middle of English” 

“I love you too babe” 

You had to convince the teacher to bring everyone to the library 

You guys cuddle on a tiny ass sofa 

But when you saw his little smile as he snuggled into your chest 

So cute

You guys weren’t the only out and proud gay couple in the school though

When dealing with intolerant assholes you didn’t take any crap 

“Being gay is a sin” 

“That hairstyle should be a sin so FUCK OFF KAREN” 

One day a bunch of kids from another school saw you and Michael holding hands 

Later when you were walking home they cornered and beat the crap out of you 

You had a black eye and a bunch of bruises 

The next day you skipped school cause you didn’t want Michael to worry 

After 3 days you came to school with sunglasses cause and a turtleneck 

Cause you were slick

He knew something was wrong 

It was hot as Jake’s damn house outside 

And you were wearing a frickin turtleneck 

His paranoid ass thought you were hiding hickeys 

He pulled you aside during lunch and asked if everything was okay and if you wanted to break up with him 

He was so panicked 

Your heart broke 

“No of course not, just some guys saw me and you holding hands and uhm wasn’t so nice” 

“Did they hurt you?” 

“Not really it doesn’t hurt that much-“ 

“Show me” 

You took off your shirt 

He couldn’t admire your bare chest because there was a giant bruise forming on your stomach 

And smaller ones on your shoulders 

How could people hurt his baby like that????? 

He was about to cry 

“Mikey it’s fine-“ 

“No, it’s not!” 

Tears were pouring out of eyes by now 

He felt so guiltily

Someone he loved got hurt again

And he didn’t do anything about it

You hated that he was blaming himself 

“I’ll call the school and tell them what happened, it’s not your fault that people are jerks” 

He still felt horrible

So you both ditched the rest of school for a RuPaul's drag race marathon and a bunch of cuddles

He just loves you so muchhhhhhh Treat him right

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/9/19 1:15am Super Update 2/?

Yknow I really thought hard about naming this one “there’s something about mary.” it would’ve been delightfully tacky, right? Maybe not.

Nah.

Anyway, first let’s start off with tempering some of that unabashed dicksucking I just did. I still feel overweight. I don’t feel Fat per se, I’m gaining a little bit more confidence in myself (especially now that I’m hooking up with girls again), but I don’t really feel as attractive as I was a year and a half ago. I’m much Happier, don’t get me wrong, but it is a simple truth that I’m not quite as sexy as I was then. Baby steps, we’ll get there.

Anyway.

So here’s where we’re at then. Super skinny me, doing karaoke every week, I think I’m still blonde, Mary asks ME out, we start fucking. She’s delightfully kinky, and the way her pussy would writhe as she came and squirted on me every time is something I’ll never forget, for sure. Like it would do this squeezing and pushing motion like something in the back was popping forward and rolling onto me. Very unique. Super hot lol. Quite a mess, but I loved it of course.

Resumed, 8/10/19 12:56 AM

Sorry, had to take care of some patients and then I got distracted watching twitch the rest of the night. Mostly it’s laziness. But pacing these out seems at least a little more respectful to put the amount of thought and reflection on each that they deserve lol. 

I’m also gonna try to dig up the paper-diary posts that I was writing at the time. They’re hidden in some notebooks so I’ll try to go back and find them and insert them where they’re appropriate retroactively.

So Mary. Mary was fun. I remember her making me chicken noodle soup when we hung out and got wine drunk at her place before having lots of raucous sex. I remember getting snowed in at her place and building a snowman with her the next day, pouring wine onto the snow on the roof of our cars and eating it off like little wine popsicles. Mary and I were never exclusive, she made it abundantly clear that she was seeing other people. In fact, she was seeing one guy in particular who she was like... dating? Who I Think was under the impression that they were exclusive or something. In so many words, I was her side hoe lmfao. It was fun. I’ve already written about how we had phish concerts in common and that was enough to make me feel like she really got where I was coming from in a way not many people did. Plus she had these two cute kitties and a whole fuckton of vhs tapes of old 90s movies we used to watch. Had a nice day of watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Mary always did fun little songs at karaoke. I remember she would do “I’m Just a Squirrel” to the tune of No Doubt, and whenever she Really couldn’t think of what to do and was a little drunk she’d do Tequila Wayyy before that meme guy happened this year. It was hilarious, I get why people freaked out about that guy, but she beat him to the punchline for me. 

But she was also into doing a lot of drugs and having sex with a lot of people. So while it was refreshing to be a side hoe it was also only just a bit disconcerting lol. I do my best not to judge though, I’d probably be doing the same tbh. I think just coke freaks me out just because I don’t Like it. 

I can’t remember how we got on the subject, but somehow or another Mary ended up finding out about my cat tail butt plug. I suppose it’s because I brought my sex toy box over to her place and it was in there. But when she found out about it she thought it was amazing and wanted to try too. I think it was just some random day, I suppose I could try to pull up the picture dates, but one day we hung out at Walkers drinking for a while, drove out to an Adam and Eve, got her a nice little black fox tail plug, and then I finally got to live out my fantasy of having sex with a tail on WITH me also getting to wear my tail. Holy fuck it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Like absolutely beastial. I remember her meowing at me a lot, I literally came like 6 times after fucking for about 3 or 4 hours. Just pounding the fuck away at each other in every position imaginable. hahahahah holy shit at one point I leaned over the side of the bed to grab some more lube as I was fucking her doggystyle, but accidentally repositioned my knee onto my tail, pulling it out of my ass REALLY quick. One of the worst feelings, like it just ripped out. and then to make matters worse later when we finally finished and I tried to help her pull hers out I kinda just Yoinked it and did the same thing to herrrrrr hahahaha SHE DIDN’T EVEN SLEEP IN THE BED WITH ME. omfg yeah she left to go get a drink and never came back, and I couldn’t tell if she was furious or just too drunk and passed out on the couch. In the morning she didn’t remember being mad and said it was amazing sex though, so it was a relief to know it was the latter. And she posed up for me and let me take some amazing pics :3 It became the start of a furry tail self-porn folder that I’ve cultivated only slightly and solidified my fetish completely and entirely. 

Ah unfortunately that was one of the last times we hooked up. I think in total we were fooling around for like a month or two? Long enough for me to tell my fam about her and my mom to give me a bracelet to give to her which I never did because I thought it’d be weird.

In the end Mary told me that she wanted to get serious with her real boyfriend, and that I probably shouldn’t come over anymore. It didn’t really beat me up all that much, because we had moved on to really only hanging out when we hooked up at her place. She had stopped going to karaoke because her new job she had to work in the mornings on wednesdays, so I didn’t see her as much either. But what totally fucked me is that I had a bunch of stuff at her place. I had brought a PS2 I had borrowed from Spencer and a copy of Kingdom Hearts 1 that I had borrowed from Jimmy over to her place, and she gave me the ps2 back with an off brand controller and without the copy of KH1. She kept her plug and gave me my other toys back, which was to be expected. Totally worth for me lol. But GOD DAMMIT that copy of KH1 and the controller really frustrated me lmao. When she said I couldn’t swing by to just get my own stuff I wrote out this detailed list that she ignored and then her old roommate took my shit and moved out when he found out she was getting serious with her boyfriend. Also a little piece of shit. He was the first person I played magic with in years though so he wasn’t all bad. I think he was definitely jealous that I was fucking mary though. Lol this month one of the things I finally did was replaced that copy of KH1 to start playing it on my own and eventually give it back to Jimmy, and fixed a cable I broke on that PS2. I hate breaking people’s shit/not returning it to them, it really frustrates me.

Anyway, yeah that’s about it with her. We would still see each other once in a while and she was snapping me for a bit just as friends. We’re still really cool. I think her and her boyfriend are doing well still too, so that’s sweet. And I’d see him out at bars and he wouldn’t kick my ass, though I still don’t really know if he knew if I was fucking her lmao. I remember shaking his hand a few times and still being like “I fucking wonder lmao.”

But yeah, having a girl ask me out was a huge ego boost. Mary was a gem. <3

What’s more, is she gave me faith that maybe dating is worth my time. Maybe there’s actually someone out there in the world who’s as weird as I am. Maybe.

[smoothshift]

3500 miles in a GT350: CA to MT & PNW. Pictures, words and field testing AMMO Frothe via /r/cars

3500 miles in a GT350: CA to MT & PNW. Pictures, words and field testing AMMO Frothe

(Originally posted to my profile which confused me to no end because interwebbing is hard. So hopefully this is not a double post on the sub)

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GT350 Summary

2017 in Shadow Black, Recaros, Sync 3

Driver assists added: Blackview DR650s front/rear dashcam, Escort Max360 radar/laser detector

Changes made: Black lugs, black valve stem caps, Steeda clutch spring (suspension brace pending install), ceramic tint, white stripes removed

3 stage detail and PPF applied - full nose, A pillars, mirrors, roof, door edges, quarter panels, trunk entry. cQuartz on all surfaces, 4 coats of cQuartz Reload applied as a topcoat

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Pics and short comments

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Trip Facts

Departure: Friday, Oct 5 at 2:22PM PT

Return: Friday, Oct 12 at 11:15PM PT

Distance: 3500.7 miles

Oil consumption: ~ 1/2 quart

Avg MPG: 20.4

Cost of 91/92 octane: $640.22

Cheapest gas: Chevron at 3.34/gal, unknown city, Idaho

Most expensive: Chevron at 4.42/gal, Boomtown, Nevada

Avg $ spent per fill up: $23.71

# of fill ups: 27

Avg distance between fill ups: 129.6 miles (range is 300 miles)

Hotel stays: 4

Cosmetic wear and tear: Minor rock strikes intercepted by the PPF, mystery scuffs on the driver side fender

Malfunctions: A/C fall down go boom. Known issue with 15-17 S550 platform.

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Gear

1 trunk organizer holding jumper cables, battery charger, tire inflator, coolant, extinguisher, first aid kit, basic tool kit, reflective parka, 2 gal water, 12 individual water bottles, 1 AMMO sprayer, 12v carvac from Amazon, 1 ammo can holding 2 quarts of 10w50 & funnel

2 stuff sacks holding 1 sleeping bag, 2 med blankets, 2 sm blankets, 2 travel pillows

1 tent and 1 inflating pad

1 bag holding coffee, french press, utensils, plastic bowl w/lid, JetBoil

1 tote bag holding misc food including the all important double choc brownies

1 camera bag holding a Nikon D800 and Nikon 24-70 f2.8. Additional images taken with iPhone

1 20L cooler holding milk, fruit, water, coke

1 bag holding detailing lotions, potions and goops

1 bag holding the world's supply of microfiber towels

1 6 gal bucket holding 2 collapsible buckets, 2 grit guards, 2 wash pads

1 small box holding dish soap, scrubbing thingamajobs, shop towels, toiletries, water heater

1 backpack holding clothing and sandals

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Destinations

Craters of The Moon National Monument (Idaho)

Yellowstone (Idaho and Montana)

Seattle

Prius Coast Highway (WA to CA)

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The words, and plenty of them

I had planned this trip since spring but hadn't gone due to work constraints. A window opened up in September, but it quickly closed due to life getting in the way. And then it happened: Early October, nothing holding me back. I was ready to go, to clear my head, to get away from work and you. Yes, you - the guy who swerves in and out of traffic at speed. And you, the lady who cannot stay off her phone. And don't think I've forgotten about you, bro - I see you hiding back there - the guy who literally ignores BSM. What better cure for driving frustration than to go.. driving. Or something.

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Tramlining and then it got cold

I left San Francisco on Friday afternoon, taking 80 east to Reno. This was well planned, nothing left to chance except for the most common sense thing: weather reports. There's an app for that, of which I have 3 and of which I used 0. This was not the smartest move as would be apparent this night and later in Montana, but for now all was well. Weather was warm, pavement dry and I'm moving at a good pace through Sacramento and into the Sierra Nevada range. The mountain section of 80, specifically the right lane is in terrible shape. I'm tramlining all over the place for too long, in too many sections, a constant jerky right, left, left, left, right, right fight on the wheel. Despite this I'm determined to stay right except to pass.

Its getting pretty cool out, and about 8PM I pull into the Truckee rest stop to discover its cold, 38 degrees. I know thats not cold to you Midwest and East Coast people. Kinda balmy. But to a coastal CA guy that's just about below freezing. I make a mental note about the Michelins not being rated for this temp, brush my teeth in the parking lot (classy is how I roll) and go to bed or rather recline the seat. I wake at 3AM and its time to move.

Leaving Truckee I discover tramlining is not done and it's another fight. And then the squeaking started from somewhere in the dash. Its a heavy grating noise and not a rattle; loud and obnoxious like my nephew. I'm pressing on the dash, the gauges, the vents - the usual places but nothing changes. Ten minutes later it's gone and does not return. Took the Boomtown exit and hit up Chevron. Go inside for coffee and pay for gas, pretty mundane but then I ran into a change scam. Some Eastern Euro guy was behind the counter. I give him 40 and he tells me he'll put 35 on the pump, and to come back for change. Not what I asked for but whatever. Returned for the change and - lets call him Uri - claims there's no change to be had. Its 3:30AM and I'm in no mood to get into this. Enjoy the $3 bro.

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Coffee, water and no rest areas. Also, LTE coverage is terrible

Back on the road and passing Reno AKA the drab copy of Vegas. Detector warns of 2 KA alerts but the signal is weak and I exit Reno without issue. Kept going east to Winnemucca, turning north on 95. The problem with 95 - other than being a long stretch through flat arid country - is the lack of rest areas combined with tidal pool-sized coffee cups and water. You know what this means and yes, I marked my territory in several places.

This stretch of nothing leads to the first of far too many LTE signal cuts and corresponding loss of Waze GPS updates. Through most of NV, and really, really long stretches of ID and MT there is no signal. Which I completely understand since ATT is a discount carrier a small mom and pop telco its really hard to relay signals over flat terrain its 1996 and cell phones are still a novelty. Signal loss in WA and OR along 101 - that I understand, and it happened frequently given the terrain. But issues in flatlands especially Idaho's more populated state routes - that I don't get.

And here's where I took the first acceptable picture of the car. Its a farming community, maybe a half mile of 25 MPH with a gas station, coffee house, cafe and sheriff's station. And one thing I found interesting, the Sahara Motel. 50s or early 60s design; sharp angles, cracked windows and peeling paint on the doors. The last paying guest was a long time ago and it makes a good backdrop.

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The Rag Company mission aborted; Shelby meets buttocks at Craters of The Moon

I'm off to Boise to find a hotel and stop by the Rag Company. Missed their store hours and tomorrow's Sunday, with Monday a holiday so.. no Rag Company visit. I chalk it up my usual level of masterful planning and stay the night at the Holiday Inn in Meridian. if you find yourself there someday stop by Beto's 24 hour Mexican place. The chicken chimichanga (fried burrito) is outstanding.

With sunrise it was time for my first destination open whenever - Craters of The Moon National Monument. Never been, never heard of it, just a random find when looking up Idaho tourist destinations. Taking 84 SE was unremarkable, but connecting to 20 was another story. Going up to 4k elevation, golden grass on the hills and plains, fall colors on the trees. Beautiful, with some fun stretches of road interrupted by people who dr.ive. ve.r.y. s.lo.w.ly.

Passed through Carey which is another livestock community with the requisite aroma d'odure. Up to this point I've mostly seen F150s, RAM 1500s and the occasional minivan. But here comes this kid in his JDM Civic, Idaho plates, red with all the toppings - wing, different colored bits here and there. Didn't check the rear but you know there were fart cans attached. Flat bill cap tied it all together. What I remember most is the look on his face as he passed, staring at my car like that guy on what show was it? The guy with the wild hair who says "I'm not saying its aliens..". Yeah. He had that look on his face. Stay strong, brosef, you're the outlier in the land of the lifted.

Keep going and the route takes you over Silver Creek which is famous for fishing, something I didn't know. Also didn't know that with fish come bugs and a lot of them. I know how to describe these because I took Entomology 101: big ole brownish-yellow, low-flying squishies with lots of guts. Stopped to carefully clean it off but there's too much bug juice, a full wash is needed later.

About 2:30PM I rolled in to Craters of The Moon. It looks like the name, kinda bleak and barren and perfect. Wide, cloudy skies from here to where the flat earth ends and vaccines aren't needed. I stop by a small hill and walk up to the crest; hidden behind is another crest. Decent pictures. Coming down I see some tourists standing around the car. Some guy is leaning his posterior on the hood and having a picture taken. This excites me a wee bit and I leg it to explain the finer points of no touchie; I know its complicated. They are French (not the Quebecois variety); explanations were offered, much hand gesturing ensued, apologies made and Trans-Atlantic relations were preserved (you're welcome, America). I keep rolling albeit with a blood pressure higher than normal; I like this place minus butt guy.

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Meeting JB from Texas, AKA Walter Mitty

Back on the road and I pull over for gas at Picabo. Station appears to be closing; their coffee is lukewarm and does not look good. Made my way to a rest stop for Operation Caffeine Overdose ala Jetboil and French Press and yes, it was great, full bodied and delicious. Fully amped I drive east toward Montana and Yellowstone but I can't quite make it. 9PM rolls around and I stop at a random rest area, writing out notes on the day. There's a silver Mercedes roadster a few spots over, I'm guessing early to mid 90s (SLK? Not familiar with Mercedes). It looks really good, sleek, fast and small. Fender flares, looks like aftermarket wheels and the driver is staring at my car. I go back to writing notes and look up a few minutes later. He's still staring. Got out to rummage for food and that's when the driver walks over: JB from Texas. 6'4" or so and has about 100 lbs on me, in a dark parking area - but that's not the problem. Problem is he's a close talker. Protip for tall guys talking to strangers in dark places: Don't be a close talker.

I ask JB about his car and he says it was his first, got it new in 99 when he was 15. That's remarkable and I asked how he pulled it off. "My parents are the most senior judges in (whatever TX town he's from)." This was said emphatically and louder than you'd expect, but I figure it's possible, and wealthy families can buy expensive cars for their kids. After this point little things were said that raised some flags but nothing major, things like European cars being cheaper to repair than domestic. But then it got weird, with JB stating he's a retired Air Force General, and his wife a retired Navy Colonel (for those unfamiliar, there are no Colonels in the US Navy). JB doesn't appear old enough to make 04 much less General, so I ask how old he is and this produces a long pause- really long (he was doing the math, 15 in 1999 now its 2018.. this minus that, carry the 1, no wait just subtract, x = y and divide the ... and he got it wrong). Finally he says "40." Amazing. A 40 YO retired General, he must be a legend I've never heard of. I decide to leave before the inevitable JSOC story. There's always a JSOC story.

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Yellowstone and KA bands

Morning rolls around and I awake at another rest stop. Get the jetboil going and its not long before 191 gets me to Yellowstone. Just before the park is the town of West Yellowstone and here the radar detector pays gives another assist. A few cars on the road and we're approaching a bend. KA alert is a sudden, strong signal and there he is, local Sheriff sitting just past the bend. He starts to follow after I pass but I'm in the clear. About a mile down I'm the only car on this stretch and just for giggles he lights me up. I get it, its a holiday weekend and no better time to get low hanging fruit like speeders and drunks, but come on, Deputy Dog. I innit stupit. Me gud drivor.

Yellowstone. Incredible driving roads but again no bueno to open it up, a fact reinforced by another Deputy exercising his radar skills (quite good, no alerts at all til I rounded a corner). If you like fly fishin' this is the place, and I made several hikes with one decent picture to show for it. That's my bad; arrival time (11AM) meant I had to wait awhile for acceptable light. Could be there's a pattern here.

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I visit Ennis and find an El Camino for sale

Leaving the park I point the car to Ennis on route 287. This is a tourist-focused town. You like huntin', maybe fishin', little bit of hikin', you want it they got it. The main drag is several hundred yards of contemporary storefronts and they appear to have been designed by the same person. Quirky, but not too quirky with just the right amount of rustic, and nicely done enough to let you know its gonna be expensive shopping there.

Exxon was out of 91 on all pumps (or 92 in MT) but I found another station. In the gravel lot next door was a bright light shining through parting clouds, and I may have heard a chorus because there she was, a 1987 Chevy El Camino, 71k miles, 10k asking down from 12. Looked in good shape, badged SS and V8. I didn't closely inspect it, and I'm no expert in verifying SuperSport models from any era. At any rate trans isn't my thing. But still, good looking history on wheels.

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Butte, where the rubber meets the road (or snow, in this case) and Georgetown Lake

And now I'm in Butte. I neither wrote nor recall much of this drive, my mind said write but my body said sleep. Made it in good time and got a room, and you know what? It's freaking cold. Like... dude. COLD, low 30s. Up to this point I still haven't checked weather reports because I'm a rocket scientist. Woke at 5AM and found a coin op car wash and yes, its cold and getting colder. I'm worried about the tire temp rating and this is compounded by a light dusting of snow. I realize my IQ has to catch up and GTFO to a warmer climate. S/SW is good but too obvious. N/NW is more my mongo style on highway 90; temp decreased to 28 degrees and snow had built up as a fine slush, but not frozen. At least there's no snowplows, that would be a bad sign. And then a few miles in there are snow plows, thankfully they appear to be pre-positioned and sitting there. This must be one of the first snows of the season, and my escape velocity is tempered by MPSS running well below threshold. Went gentle on the inputs, reduced speed and held it steady. No problems keeping it straight and thankfully stopping distance was not put to the test.

I self-flagellate for a number of miles, slowly building confidence and moving from light snow to rain. Stopped at a rest area to inspect the tires; no cracks or other issues found, nor did any appear during the trip. The air intake and grille had ice build up, good news is it was a fairly small area on either side.

I left 90 at Hensley Gulch, turning west on highway 1 AKA Pintier Veterans Memorial Scenic Highway. This was the most beautiful road of the trip, its scenic and then some. Rolling, gentle hills, mostly livestock and horses. More long sweepers with minor elevation changes, and then you get to Georgetown Lake, otherwise known as the place I'll buy when I win the lotto. Not been? Go, its worth your time. For me this was a pass-through, but I'll remember this drive for a long time, a little bit of paradise I had the privilege to observe.

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Crossing back into Idaho, and the memory of what was

Back in Idaho; a light rain and miles of yellows, browns and greens. Cruise control country like most of the route so far. And then the song played; the one that takes you back to what was or could have been. The one you do and don't want to hear, so you bury it, ignore it but can't quite hit delete. The opening guitar conjures her face and you can feel her touch. It's good and real and bittersweet and you wonder why it ended, but you know why.

some people wind up with the one that they adore

in a heart-shaped hotel room it's what a heart is for

the bubble floats so madly will it stay sky-high?

And suddenly I'm in Tel Aviv with her in that rundown motel by the beach. The faded yellow walls gave the room a golden light offset by dingy grey curtains and an ugly rug. Just her and I and this song playing on her phone. It was a long way from home, across borders, language, religious and cultural differences. It was also over but we didn't know it just then; better that way. She's married now. I put the memory back on the shelf, close the door and leave.

and it's you and me in the summertime we'll be hand in hand down in the park

with a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye and all the sunshine banishes the dark

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The A/C goes to the great condenser in the sky

A month before leaving I attempted to get some issues addressed: Rear panel gaps, unreliable A/C, front wheel well liner not flush and a poorly fitted passenger door. My dealership put their best guys on the job and the results were: Panel gap parts on backorder (understandable), unreliable A/C diagnosed as "normal," wheel well liner was "normal" and nothing can be done about the door. I was impressed and decided to find another dealer after the trip. But now the A/C decides its time to meet its maker. No A/C, no heat, no joy. Top men, Dr. Jones. Top. Men.

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Coeur D'Alene Lake: Flatbed hauls a totaled 911 and Camry

I arrived at Coeur D'Alene. Passed through a few times before but never stopped by the lake, and I'm glad I did. 50 square miles of water surrounded by hills with marinas interspersed along the shore. Twisty roads with some straights that reminds me of Skyline. Only here I take it easy, I don't know the roads so I run an inspection cruise along a 20 mile run: 1 cross, 7 deer in 2 groups, 2 school bus stops, 0 cyclists. Not ideal especially the school bus stops and deer, and local popo are running KA band. I drive it anyway, moderately. On the way out I see a flatbed loaded up with a wrecked white 911 (recent) and Camry (00's model). The Porsche's passenger door is off the frame and the roof looks partially caved.

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Washington State expert editorial and heroin at the rest stop

I've never lived in WA but I'm nonetheless an expert with a viewpoint that applies to every resident, because I'm smart and stuff. They don't care for Californians because too many moved here, a PNW echo chamber that goes back decades and won't end, well, ever. Which is fine because no one ever moved to CA and drove up prices, in greater numbers and with greater consequences. They have a lot of tweakers, which CA also has a lot of. They share a coastline with Oregon and Canada that is hands down the most beautiful and inspiring you'll find anywhere. And their popo are a revenue generator force, more than most places.

Pulled in to a rest stop shortly after crossing the border. Camped out in the car and got the usual restless sleep. Up at 4AM to visit the men's room, and out walks Slim Shady's cousin with a red hat, red jersey of some kind, black basketball shorts and red basketball shoes. Slim left behind a syringe, one of those rubber hose things they use to tie off, an empty brown packet about the size of rubber packaging and some random bits and bobs. I return to the car thinking how sad it is this guy has a fix at the ready while preparing the jetboil and french press, and only later does the irony become obvious. As I said, I'm smart. And stuff.

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Field testing AMMO NYC'S Frothe (hoseless wash)

I exited 90 beyond Snoqualmie Pass, fill up and decide to test AMMONYC's hoseless wash product. Disclaimer: I have no relationship with AMMO, and I paid for the product just as you would. There's a TA truck stop adjacent to the gas station and I park in between them, well out of anyone's way. The car has road grime, some bugs, the usual detritus but nothing too heavy.

I used the sprayer with water first to rinse, then added Frothe and got down to business except for one thing: Parking a Shelby by truckers is like throwing chum into a sea of dorsal fins. I'm getting my foam on when I get my first visitor, Mike, 61, trucker and retired diesel mechanic. Mike's a nice guy but his intro was, "What in the hell are you doing?" I explain the concept but he looks doubtful, then I get the car stories (this V8, and that one, and some other one). Good conversation but I gotta work on this so Mike and I part ways.

Next up was another trucker, I didn't get his name. Large guy, about Mike's age and he approaches close but doesn't say anything, just stares at the car. I break the ice and he says, "I'd give you a run against my Hellcat." I'm not down to measure manhoods or compare cornering so I don't. He inspects the car and doesn't like the PPF, doesn't like hoseless wash. He does like the shine but I get a blank stare when explaining what ceramic coating is. All this was fine until he decides to touch the paint: "Is that a rock chip?" I don't know what it is about paint but some people can't stop themselves from touching it.

Second and last visitor gone I continue with Frothe. Easy to use, lifting the dirt does take a fair number of towels (6 in my case) and that's fine, I've brought a lot. No visible scratches or swirls but I didn't go CSI on this, it's clean, it shines and I was careful to follow the lifting vs pushing method. Very happy with the results but the pictures don't do it justice. See the Seattle/Pike's Place pic for a good representation, it was taken not long after with a good amount of miles driven.

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Speed, Karma & Laser Cats Cops

Continuing on 90 its flat agricultural land that reminds me of CA's central region with more rainfall. Traffic is very light, only a few cars and this Corolla - I'm thinking early 2000s model - comes up fast behind me. Really fast. What's remarkable is the great condition of the paint, this car is cosmetically well taken care of. I know because the driver, lets put him on the younger side of 18, passed at high speed and very close, swerving to lane change. I deploy the universal sign of disapproval and hope he learns his lessons before its too late. 20 miles down the road I see flashing lights and the state patrol is keeping him company. Karma, bro. It don't mess around.

On my last WA visit the city of Pasco (further south, not far from the OR border) had an aggressive ticketing posture. This time I didn't write down the name, no time to pull over - just a city between Snoqualmie and Seattle. KA band up ahead, and another a 1/2 mile after that. But they're not done, this is a pack operation. Mr. Laser Cop is parked after the 2nd KA cruiser, and its clear they mean (big) business. This was the second laser strike in WA during this trip. Thankfully I did not contribute to the register.

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Seattle and Pike's Place

In my mind this was going to be a great picture, something to print. Low light, low angle, blazing Pike's Place sign in the background. Got there too late for that, about 10AM due to heavy traffic and the Frothe field test. No biggie. Only problem is I'm from SF where car break ins are rampant and my car is chock full of stuff. Leave it like this at home and you're coming back to broken glass so I keep the car in sight.

Lets see.. Starbucks, not my first choice and it looks like Disneyland with all the tourists. I find an indy coffee purveyor, enjoy my dose and buy some overpriced t-shirts. And then its time to leave, but I drive around and I'm reminded that Seattle is what SF used to be: Not too crowded and a little laid back. Locals will tell you otherwise and the COL is too high, and there's too many people from CA who moved here, and they're right and wrong. But its vibe is nothing like SF and I hope it stays that way. Seattle is its own thing.

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Newport, Oregon and the awkward stop light

I'm driving through Newport, another coastal town and this one has a fine dining establishment I'm keen to visit, Taco Bell. You may have heard of them, may I recommend the 20oz Mountain Dew for optimal caffeine delivery. Leaving town I stop at a light, windows down because the Top. Men. did such a great job with the aircon. A Chevy truck (older one, S10 maybe) pulls up alongside. The driver has a ball cap on backwards, dark sunglasses and a Tom Selleck mustache. "Hey man! I'm a Chevy guy but I really like your car, that back end is something! Love how you put it together!" The words form in my head and my mouth opens to speak but he's gone before I can say anything. So there I was, mentally constipated long before the physical effects of this value meal, unable to tell him with urgency and a longing for relief that no, its stock and I'm not a Ford engineer or modding genius. Frustrating.

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I ordered pizza and met our Lord and Savior

I stopped for dinner at a town close to Eugene. Its time for something healthy, like pizza. Yeah. Pepperoni and a cold one will do. Nice enough place, nothing fancy and nothing you'd remember. Except the guy who took my order was Jesus Christ Superstar. Brown shoulder length hair and a full beard, neatly done. Semi-olive complexion and I'm wondering if my Aramaic is up to speed, or whether I should be his agent for the Broadway revival. Mostly I'm wishing my long hair days hadn't ended and I briefly wallow in envy. At any rate the pizza was good and Jesus was a nice guy. Good to know.

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The end

.. just kidding. I kept driving south, down to CA, following 101 as it looped in and out of the coast. It wasn't until Eureka that I was reminded of a specific subculture. The sun was setting as I drove through, and this is it, i knew it - The Walking Dead isn't fiction, its right here, game over and all I've got is a multitool. But it was only the patchouli and herb loving drum circle crowd and there were a lot of them coming out of the shadows. Maybe Phish was playing, but I think they broke up? Doesn't matter. Welcome back to California. I'm so excited to visit my dealership and have a really long conversation about the A/C, my feelings and unmet expectations and maybe a hug at the end. Nah, forget that. Time to find a dealer who will offer solutions and options. Wish me luck.

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The real end

Don't know why you're still here. It's done. For real this time.