#ik its kind of recent still but is there a lot of context in these panels ?

[the-headless-horsedude]

undefined

[calypsolemon]

I'm curious, wdyt about Imperium now that s1 is over? I asked a similar question when part 1 aired, but I wanna see if you've changed your mind. Ik a critique you held was that Ninjago never seems to go too far with exploring anything like this (and with MotM I recall you mentioned smth ab not liking the "one bad king" thing, so I'm also asking b/c recently Doc did confirm Imperium was still a bad place before Beatrix, it's just she made it worse) so do you like how they handled Imperium? Or do you think there was more they could've done?

I have my own minor nitpicks but overall I feel like it subverts a lot of other media (and also previous installments of Ninjago) by having Imperium's totalitarian/fascist nature be a more deep-rooted issue than just one evil ruler. (Also love how they didn't just have every single person turn on the Empress, and Sora's parents remained scummy. It's more realistic lol, and if anything MORE people should've been pro-Empress I feel.)

Well I don't know if I'd say my opinion has "changed" so much as "evolved now that we actually have the full context of the season," since last time I answered an ask about this it was when we only had half of it.

To be honest I would still stand by my assessment that ninjago never really goes too far irt digging into like harmful social structures and whatever, and I don't really expect it to. It's just not that kind of show, and that's fine. I also stand by my criticism that it should have been... a little harder for Sora to become disillusioned with Imperium to the extent that she did? But I will give with further context it makes a lot of sense that she empathized with a caged creature being tormented quickly, since we now understand her parents really did not ever care for her beyond her use as a way to gain prestige.

That being said, I think overall Imperium improved LEAPS and bounds over Shintaro. Mainly because, as you said, its clearly been bad for a long time because of a longstanding, corrupt ruling class, rather as the result of one shitty ruler. If anything, I kind of admire it for letting me be right about Beatrix not seeming very fit for her position, and in fact I think thats one of the more interesting aspects of the season and what it has to say about Imperium's philosophy; A society that functions in such a cultlike, controlling fashion will inevitably breed deeply jealous, prone-to-violence, but ultimately ignorant people who will fumble the power they hold in disastrous ways. Beatrix's betrayal of her family to gain hold of the throne basically doomed Imperium to crumble the moment anyone was willing and able to push back.

It is also definitely good that there's not a universal acceptance of the loss of Imperium, especially considering the distrust sewn was more towards Beatrix than towards Imperium as a whole. (If I'm honest, I think the "beatrix spills everything live on camera" bit was a little goofy even if its the most efficient way to get a big turnaround in the general populace, but what is ninjago if not goofy). Realistically I think there would be a significant chunk of Imperium citizens who would disown Beatrix but still regard their past emperor in a godlike fashion, and attempt to rebuild the society as it was at some past point. I don't really know that the show will continue to explore much else about Imperium and potential pushback against change but the fact that I'm unsure rather than POSITIVE it will never get back to it is a big plus for me (thank GOD for DR actually having cross-season plotlines!!!!).

Overall I like most of what they did, its not prestige television but its the best ninjago's ever been with social commentary and that pleases the cal.

[circular-bircular]

Mmm. I caught a few free minutes today to sit down and respond, so let's unleash this one, shall we?

Below the cut is an ENORMOUS ask, and a (incredibly long, as much as I may try otherside) response. It's about the recent "censorship" (???) drama.

TL;DR: Everyone is allowed to be angry in life, and policing that is kind of outrageously infuriating, especially in spaces where people struggle with things like emotional regulation! I'm allowed to be upset and express that upset, just as much as anyone else. Me expressing frustrations isn't "demonizing" people or attacking them, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. If you feel I'm attacking you by posting on my own blog how I'm upset about something, or feel I'm attacking you by reblogging posts on tumblr to dissect ableism in articles you yourself posted... Figure out that feeling, or block me? Good lord.

I am not posting anything more about this topic. Please don't send asks about it, or I will simply be deleting them.

Okay. For context, these two asks (combined below) came in about 3 days ago. I was wondering if I should post them in a different format to slim them down, but genuinely, I think I want to present this as I received it. Here it is (with your system name censored, anon -- I recognize your concerns about harassment):

abt frameaclouds post :: politely + trying to come to the table not to argue but to point this out I dont think you can blame a blogger for seeing people reblogging their post from you legit screaming "how dare you" or "fuck you" at them and them then assuming that it's probs best to just block and keep back from that whole group of folks. I liked some of your additions and thought they were interesting as one of frameaclouds followers.... but the way you and others focused almost entirely on nitpicking LB Lee's stuff and some ways things were phrased (ex. - like point 3; all frameacloud said was that DID does not require trauma. you then... agreed and shouted at them?), and the way a lot of you jumped to calling it censorship and silencing when frameacloud refused to engage afterwards, really kind of makes it look like you're interpreting their post and actions in the worst light possible. it makes it seem like you're coming from a place of bad faith. you mentioned some cool perspective in your reblog, where you talked about how it came off to someone who had your specific background and knowledge and what u found the issues to be, but you haven't done the reverse: you haven't considered how your reblog was going to come across to an otherkin whose been around for a really long time and who is probably used to dealing with tons and tons of trolls who are going to take what they say in the least generous way possible, twist their words, + use it to belittle and harass them. like this is an otherkin who's been around since the grilling times and usenet days. and a bunch of people who seem to be in ur circles citing back to the post and kind of beating their chests about it even tho frameacloud is making a point not to fight or argue about it and to just block and move on...and u urself described ur response as a 'rant' which has a pretty diff connotation than 'discussion' or 'criticism'...well its likely to just project that kind of image further, that ur just here to flame war, even if thats not what ur doing or how u want to come across. ik that's how it came across to me and even after seeing some of ur past posts on ur blog that i really liked im still a little skeptical that this ask isnt gonna be either trashed mocked or taken out of context by u or someone who follows u. and also i want to remind people that like......... u r not owed access to anyone on socmed. frameacloud and any other blogger is allowed to block anyone for any reason. and its unhealthy to say that ur owed other ppls blogs and posts to platform on. respect other ppls boundaries without villainizing them cuz otherwise ur just opening up a can of worms to lie in. and ik u said in a later post that theyre well within their rights to block u but u also reblogged a post before that calling it censorship. so like... this is what i mean about coming off as disengenuous and troll-y, stuff like this is why even if i liked some of ur reblog i wont rb it. if i rb it and end up deleting it later am i gonna be told by others that im 'censoring' u? if i make a mistake and say something wrong in a tag am i gonna get jumped with a 5k word essay from four different ppl telling me how much i suck? its a hypothetical but only sorta with whats been happening on ur blog and elsewhere in this discussion. its bad form and its not super fair to frameacloud who still hasnt done legit anything yet but block ppl and i really cant say enough how much i dont blame them with some of whats been said n what sort of conclusions ppl r jumping to abt them. (also now that im thinking of the context if u did come across as bad faith engagement to frameacloud then they probably didnt respond to ur ask because it screamed BAIT to them cuz ik in their shoes id think the same. i mean their blog 99% runs on queue...the last post they reblogged that wasnt on their queue was ONE post on the 11th from their boyfriend and be4 that ONE on the 9th...all while u have someone gossiping in a prev ask that they 'often do this'. i can see frameaclouds POV)

like i swear im not trying to start a fight but can u see how this comes off. claiming u want a discussion and then thanking someone who is calling blocking censorship, saying that theyre in their rights to block but then posting an ask that says this blog that makes maybe like two or three original posts a month "does this often", the original aggro all over the reblogs that stem from ur first reblog in the reblog chart... like frameacloud is the one who blocked first but u have to srsly consider why they did + why they refuse to engage at all + what it looks like to ppl outside of the type of syscourse ur used to, like them and like me. if u want ppl to listen, then this isnt a good way to promote the kind of discussions u say u want. it just drives ppl away and maybe it feels temporarly vindicating but its not helpful. i want to see the things ur talking abt talked abt more but if its always going to be like that and theres no way for it to be less like trekking thru a field of mines where someone might blow up at u for something u dnt even realize is wrong at the time then i dunno

...

So, first off, I apologize profusely to everyone for how long-winded I am. I write a LOT, a habit I have always, always tried to break, and I now realize just how much it is to see thousands of words in response to things. This is nearly 1k of words I woke up to right before leaving for my vacation. Talk about wild to read right after waking up. (I also apologize because what follows is similarly so long winded and I cannot figure out how to not do this).

I attempted to write up my response. Took a full day and a half, writing and writing and writing. And here's the thing, I wrote around 3k words trying to explain my perspective, trying to acknowledge what I agreed and disagreed with from your asks, from your perspective, and just...

Dude, I am so fucking done with this shit. Not your asks in particular, but with syscourse in general.

This ask presents me with a damned if I do, damned if I don't scenario. I could leave it to rot in my inbox, but then I'm a hypocrite for not engaging with discussions about things, which is what I say I want people to do. I could finish writing up my 3k+ word response, but then my words are going to be twisted as they always are because I'm long winded and I am just trying my best to (probably over)explain myself.

Or... I can just. Explain as briefly as possible here what I'm feeling, thinking, and doing.

So... Here goes my best shot.

One:

First and foremost, I could care less at this point about frameacloud. Good fucking lord, I have tried to keep their username in my head through all of this, but it's genuinely so hard and I just end up scrolling up. I have never interacted with this user before this, and I clearly won't be again. My beef is not with them. I could care less about this user or their business; they are a tumblr user who exists. Wow!

My upset was about how the conversation was cut off. That's all. That's it. Wow, it sucks how all conversations are cut off when people block others for any reason. I hate how long MY blocklist is, strictly for my mental health. I hate how many people I have to block to keep myself healthy, because it cuts off communication. Is it... condemning myself to saying, "It's a shame that they cut off communication like that" when I've blocked plenty of very vocal syscoursers?

No. As I've said numerous times through all this, people should be able to block whoever they want. Even if I talk about how upsetting that may be, I mean absolutely no ill will to the person who literally should not know I'm talking about how upset I am, because said person has me blocked.

Two:

I don't care why they blocked me. Maybe they personally hate me, maybe they heard about me from who-is-page or whoever (I know I've bumped heads with them in the past once or twice before), maybe they thought I was a troll, maybe they thought I was overly angry, whatever-

That literally means nothing to me other than " :( Fucking goddamn it, that means my response will be hidden."

What I am upset about isn't that they blocked me; I'm upset that the conversation was cut short and hidden in all aspects. By that I mean, I don't care I was blocked and hidden; I care that every single user who reblogged either me or SAS's reply was also hidden. Like. Every single tag was. I don't know if that's tumblr's doing, or OPs doing, or what have you, but again -- it doesn't matter.

All I'm saying is "damn, buddy, that sucks."

Three:

They didn't respond to my ask, and I mentioned that in my follow up post to show I tried to reach out genuinely. I didn't want people to think I was posting this without trying to reach out originally. That was all. It was once again me complaining that the conversation was completely cut off, regardless of the reason why it was cut off.

And here's where I'll address the elephant that I see, or at least the first one.

I'm allowed to be however angry I want on my blog, on my posts, and in my life. I'm allowed to shout, curse, and be pissed off. And no, they don't need to engage with it, and no, I don't need to be happy about that fact.

This is a tumblr blog, sir.

I'm not a medical professional or a debater on a stage in front of a podium. I'm a 26 year old trauma survivor who got upset about a fucking severely ableist post. I think I should be allowed to be a bit pissy about it.

Being told so frequently recently that I need to "be nice to convince people" is such whiplash, because less than a year ago, I was that person. I was the person telling everyone to let go of their anger, to be nice to convince the other side, that everyone needs to be polite. I did this so much that I literally was known as the Respectability Politics Syscourser. That was a legitimate label I used. I was told so often that I was a filthy centrist and that I was worse than homophobic bigots because I was trying to get everyone to just be nice to each other. I got fucking harassed for simply posting "Everyone should respect each other" to the syscourse tags.

Is that healthy?

A topic I discuss most frequently with my therapist at the moment is reclaiming anger. I struggle severely with loyalty and fawning, convinced that if I show any negative emotion whatsoever, I'll be hurt and shoved aside and abandoned by those I love. (Ouch). Here's just a few things I've learned in the past year or so:

Anger is the part of you that knows you deserve better.

Anger is a form of self-love.

Anger is a secondary emotion; what emotion lies under it? (This is the one I struggle with the most)

In... Fall of last year (the exact month escapes me), I ended up blowing up due to how long I had kept myself censored and kept myself "polite" for others. Due to how much anger I'd shoved aside and kept under wraps for the benefit of others. Because being angry would "reflect badly" on me and my friends; because it would make what I had to share less accessible to others.

... I'm done with doing that. Therapist's literal orders. In fact, if my therapist had his way, I would not have a system blog, be part of any system servers, or talk to anyone online who has DID, because the fact fucking is, none of you are safe to talk to. It will always be a triggering space. (Thankfully, my therapist also acknowledges that he is a singlet, doesn't know my brain, and that I am my own person who can make my own choices).

If OP of the post decided to make a big huge post blowing up in anger and frustration at how horrible I am, good for them. If you block me out of anger, good for you! I do not care, because I will be happy you are doing what is best for you. I am happy OP did what's best for them.

And equally, upset that a convo about ableism was hidden.

That brings me to:

Four:

Out of all the shit said and reblogged through that little single blip on the syscourse radar (I think around 10 posts out of 20 in that single 24 hours), I do regret posting that ask about OP "doing this often". That one is on me, and tbh, I'm gonna delete it. It was drama, and I do try to avoid that. I hardly added anything to it, and while I know my perspective on why I posted it, I also acknowledge that it'll do literally jack shit to explain why. So I'm just gonna delete it and move on.

But in everything else, I was only lamenting the fact that every response was hidden beyond those agreeing with OP.

I thanked Candlelight (the first user to call it censorship from what I can see) for stating that the responses were all hidden, but moreover, for mentioning that they didn't agree with everything I said. I spoke on that post primarily driven by anger at Lee's ableism. I KNOW it was not a perfect post. That's because I'm not a Perfect Debater(TM).

All I wanted was A DISCUSSION ABOUT ABLEISM!

(Note: This is commonly seen as yelling; for me, via text, I see this as EXTREME EMPHASIS. Sorry it apparently comes across as yelling! I see it as yelling a bit in my mind, but I can see how the TONE is lost in those cases. Right now, my tone is exhausted frustration, but I see no need to ACTUALLY raise my voice at you.)

I think that's the thing that's pissed me off the most. Everyone and their brother wants to either agree or disagree with me about censorship. I have my own thoughts on censorship (it's basically always bad, but there's nuance on all things, is exclusion censorship, etc etc) but those are not relevant because nobody has even fucking addressed the ableism.

The articles -- linked by OP, but who gives a shit at this point -- came off as ableist. I reblogged OP's post because they are the ones who posted the ableist articles to the DID tags. That is how tumblr is used, is it not? And yes, I expressed my anger... at the articles... on the post that had the articles...

And OP hid those critiques for their own reasons... and I lamented that they were hidden... so I made a post about it while explaining the context ('Hey if you're wondering why I'm making this big huge long post AGAIN, OP blocked my response and everyone elses, and yes I have tried to resolve it, but this one's plan B for getting the word out that these articles and ideas are really harmful online')

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. You see why this is so hard to keep short, right? I surely hope so. There's a LOT to tackle here, and a lot of emotions, and a lot of different topics/nuances.

FIVE: RAPID FIRE ROUND (With Review!)

I don't care about otherkin spaces or know shit about them. They're triggering for me. Bluh.

I don't blame OP for blocking me.

I don't hate you or want to attack you for this ask, sorry you feel that way.

If someone deletes a reblog, I just assume they made a mistake reblogging it? Do people attack others for this shit?

I nitpicked Lee's response because Lee's response was the most ableist shit I've seen in a bit, and I did that on OP's post because they're the one who posted it.

I didn't agree that DID does not always need trauma? I explicitly said it is always trauma based? I'm so confused about that point.

Is "Ranting" seen as trolling now? I use "rant" to mean "Shit, I went on for a LONG time." It's synonymous with ramble for me.

I don't know how to break it to everyone, but posting online means it is inherently unsafe, and someone may attack you or blow up at you. It's the world wide web. It sucks. (That doesn't mean it's deserved or that I endorse that behavior; it's just... life).

Ugh.

At the end of the day, I just want to be able to have my fucking disorder and scroll tags about my disorder without seeing:

It doesn't need trauma to form

Traumagenic systems are 'obsessed with suffering'

Endogenic systems are 'healthy' forms of plurality (As opposed to DID)

Yknow. Syscourse in general.

And similar shit.

Is that too much to ask??

Anon; I know this doesn't address all of your points. I KNOW I haven't gone point by point like I wanted to. My original draft did that, but I only got halfway before hitting 3k words, and you seemed... really adverse to a long ra- ramble, not rant. Sorry? Ugh.

Just take this, and I hope this topic doesn't come back to me, because I'm kinda done with it entirely at this rate.

[cuephrase]

okay hi! I was the one who asked about how you get into comics cuz they're confusing and intimidating 😭 your answer was super helpful! I've been making a list as well as starting off with some like 'non-canon' stuff. (ig thats what its called? not main continuity)

I have another question though! I always see fans talk about liking and disliking different writers - are there any you personally like/ should stay away from? I always hear people complain about tom taylor specifically 😭

oh hi!! i'm so glad my answer was helpful, goal achieved!! yeah, i'd call it not main continuity, bc they are canon in their own little spheres...the licensed AUs. even if they're not main continuity, i think they can go a long way in easing you in/keeping you engaged as you brave the more intimidating aspects of comics.

WFA was that for me, actually. (which. ik is grounds to get me shot/invalidate every comic opinion i could ever have in some circles, but tbh i care a lot less about the opinions of people that uptight about this franchise than i used to, and i'm much happier for it. something can be flawed and still be fun, yk?)

BUT- to answer your question:

full transparency, while i am great with names irl, as far as comics go i drowned myself in so much content that i missed a tonnnn of names, and i've only really started learning names recently + they tend to be names of newer/current authors. for awhile i actually knew more artists names, believe it or not.

that being said, okay. hmmm.

so overall: writers that you're going to hear about a lot will fall into like, 2.5 groups, sort of a venn diagram. they are- Controversial, Loved, and Current. Current is the .5 group, because it overlaps with the other two. in my experience, you will hear about Controversial and Current the most- Loved is going to have like a few names that are just generally well-received, not that some people won't like them but like the majority is rocking with them.

some names you might hear a lot include

Devin Grayson

Chuck Dixon

Scott Lobdell

Tom King

Tom Taylor

Geoff Johns

there're almost definitely more but like, that's who immediately comes to mind.

writers will be Controversial for a range of reasons, but their writing being bad/unpopular is not the only reason.

i think knowing why people dislike an author can be super useful, i think meta is really interesting. but i personally have never avoided reading something purely off of the writer alone for two reasons, those being-

i like to form my own opinions. even if i think i'll probably agree, i like to experience it for myself so that i get full context.

with the exception of one writer (that ik by name), every writer that i've read and been like "wow i don't like this", they've written something else that i've enjoyed.

i said this in a response to a different ask, (about tom taylor actually lmao), but-

if you're interested in reading [tom taylor's] run, you should. other people disliking a run is like...idk if this is going to make sense, but it's kind of like knowing the weather. you'll be like "hey, there's rain" and then you can either a) choose not to go outside, b) grab a coat and umbrella, or c) pull on a swimsuit and go dance. no wrong choices! maybe you get outside and it's more of a light drizzle, or maybe it's basically a tropical storm and you book it back inside and start batting down the hatches.

basically, what i'm trying to get at is, if something looks interesting to you, i don't want you to be put off or feel bad for being interested (or even liking it, if you try it out!!) bc you've seen that some people seem to really dislike the writer.

on the flip side, reading stuff going into it thinking "everyone loves this!!" can be it's own problem, especially if you're new to comics, bc if you don't like it, you might be discouraged. like case in point, tom taylor's nightwing run was super hyped up for me so when i got to it and was underwhelmed i was like, oh. it made me wonder if i was missing something/reading them wrong, and also, like if everyone loves this and i don't, will i like comics? (hell yeah i would, i love comics but damn if i didn't get skeptical for a hot minute there.)

now to answer your question about writers i like/would stay away from:

i....don't really know.

like okay, i'm really enjoying the Batman/Superman: World's Finest run a whole lot rn, right, and that's written by Mark Waid. i already had Impulse on my tbr, but i was more excited to read it when i found out Waid was the writer, because of how much i enjoy B/S:WF.

or like Chip Zdarsky. pretty sure tumblr hates him, but i personally really enjoy his batman run, i like it so much actually, not that i think it's perfect, but omg does all the hate entertain me, and i really liked his jason & bruce story in Batman: Urban Legends, and i have Batman: The Knight on my tbr and i was more excited to read it when i saw that he wrote it.

however, if i saw them attached to a project that didn't immediately interest me, whether bc of the characters or concept, i wouldn't check it out just because they're writing it, yk? somewhere along my comics reading journey i may find writers like that, but i haven't yet.

(also the only reason ik their names is because they're writing current runs that i'm following lmao)

and it's kind of the inverse with writers who i'm not fond of, where if the project interests me, i'll check it out anyways, heaving a big sigh as i do.

i do plan on paying more attention to writers, bc i'm curious to see who i tend to like/dislike and why. like since i just finished reading through all of the Nightwing runs, i plan on ranking the writers once Tom Taylor's run wraps up, just for fun.

but yeah!! ik which runs i like/don't like and why, and that's about it.

idk if this was helpful at all, i'm lowkey afraid it wasn't, but hopefully it was!!

tysm for asking, and as always, i'm more than happy to answer any other questions you may have!! my inbox/dms are open 🫶🏼

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[so-much-nonsense]

the absolute enigma

what does it take? to be at peace. to get used to things. to not feel overwhelmed everytime you experience something mildly unusual. i am super tired of feeling, i wish i could stop. watching the vampire diaries now makes me so nostalgic and i wish i had a humanity switch to just fucking shut everything off. i know this lacks all kinds of context so ill get started on a few things. today i visited someone at the hospital. a specific someone who is the most important person in my life. its nothing serious but its the most serious thing. anyways, given that i have spent so much time in and around hospitals i couldnt help but assure myself that i am used to it and that its nothing new. well, turns out only one of those two things are correct. this is nothing new to me, i have been spending so much time at hospitals since i was 10. what and why can be ignore because the reasons vary vividly from very deadly surgeries to a simple token. the feeling of walking down the long and empty hallways that are dimly lit is the feeling i know like the back of my hand. looking at terminally ill humans and just walking away as my heart cripples is a yearning that comes to me as easily as blinking. BUT what i have realised today, is that no matter how many times i do this, i will never get used to this. everytime it is still a fresh, overwhelming experience. but what matters is that this person is fine and so am i. that is it. also i keep thinking about a lot of things, always, obviously. but recently ive been pondering upon how people keep changing a lot. like a lot of time i spend thinking about this is wasted daydreaming or sum shit. this is what haunts me. everything that happens inside my brain is never real enough for the world but to me its the closest to reality ive ever been. idk if i should listen to myself or literally everyone else. its also about how i never want to give up. like, tf?? will i ever be ready to give up? honestly, i dont think so. because i want this to change. i do want to give up on certain things, that is what will enable me to enjoy what i have right now. the yearning to grow and want and have more, the potential to be in possesion of the best, is simply disabling me from enjoying where i am at right now. i keep thinking about how i dont enjoy the things i have now and how i let all the experiences pass because i am hopeful that i will get to experience something better. i can tell that i am never completely present in any situation, i keep thinking i will have the best situations to be present in. heck, i shouldve already been there, i should be there now. but i am not. i am simply choosing to deny where i am right now because i am not where i want to be. it makes a lot of sense when put into words but i hate that for myself. i like to cherish every experience, low or high. but right now, all i can think is, i am commercially analysing this and im getting into all types of politics in my head. maybe the thoughts are isolating themselves to change my likes and dislikes because thats one way of grieving. i dont want this. i hate this. hence, i want to give up on my dreams. but can i ever? i really do not think soooo ughhhh. maybe thats because i keep thinking that my dreams are not really dreams, they are goals that can be achieved. and somewhere i know that if i try hard enough i will achieve them but i just dont know why im not putting in the effort. or just why i did not put the effort the first time. but fuck it. im gonna try again. what have i got to lose? where i am right now. i hate that possibility. ik its not the greatest place but there is something about this that just clicks with me. so, like i said, ill keep trying. lol. and... uh... yeah, thats pretty much it for now. REGARDLESS (the irony), what kanan said about existential crisis flows in my veins: give up your dreams, death is coming, lets party!!

[seungstarss]

sei as one of the older kids on sfw enhablr (not saying ur old !! i’m just assuming bc 😭😭 it’s just that there’s a lot of minors (12-16) on here) how do you feel abt the current content for the maknae line? like ik it’s not always super sexualized or anything but sometimes i see stuff that’s just the way it’s worded really rubs me the wrong way ☹️ esp bc some of the kids on here are so young it makes me feel like if they see stuff like that , they might start think it’s okay for others to treat them the same or vice verse … whenever i see edits of niki on tiktok , i have to avoid the comments bc there’s almost always like a “daddy” , “how is he 16” or “you don’t know what you do to me” like wtf he’s a literal child ?? it makes me so mad and honestly so uncomfortable :( and i saw an article on kboo today too that said niki apparently has around 200 explicit or mature fics written abt him on ao3 … sometimes even the fboi trope (usually when it’s written abt minors) bothers me bc i see minors writing abt it (like 13-15 y/o) and i don’t understand why they don’t just use the term player or smtg … bc they’ll go out of their way to mention how the character has sex a lot an whatnot , even that feels way too suggestive for me personally for a minor too write let alone abt a minor too , (i’m usually okay with the trope & will read it though if it’s abt the hyung line or written by someone legal but otherwise it just feels kind of unnecessary like i saw a fboi au for hyung line recently that was written by a minor i think 13/14 y/o & they mentioned how the characters would have s*x a lot of talk about it often as like to fit the trope but it felt strange to me)

sorry for the rant,, i was just wondering how you felt … omg also though tbh i noticed that some of the minors on here / blogs in gen seem way too comfy on here like they’ll be sharing where they live , their actual names and sometimes like giving a lot of personal info … like did they not learn abt internet safety or do they just no care? as one of the older kids , i kind of worry abt them :( i really hope everybody stays safe on here <3 & some reminders: never be afraid to block anyone ! bc i’ve seen a lot of minors on here get sent stuff from the p*rn bots or just weird dms :( & u don’t need to force yourself to interact with someone , make sure ur comfy with them first !

Hi nonnie, I've seen this ask floating around a lot and I agree with everything people have said so I'll try to not make this too long

First, I'm actually not too sure abt the current context of the maknae line as I don't actually interact or go out of my way to actively read stuff. And that is because it feels weird reading something abt someone who's younger or around the same age as me. So that is why it IRKS me to even think abt the possibility that people are sexualizing the maknae line. It's absolutely disgusting. I don't have tik tok but I've heard some stuff from a few moots and that's so fuck horrible. To think that people don't understand that it's wrong to sexualize minors is just jarring??? Like I'd like to think it's basic knowledge but damn. But yes I agree that the Fandom is super young and they might feel comfy calling ex. Riki smth like "daddy" (as u mentioned in the tik tok part) EVEN THO ITS SO FUCKING WRONG. I feel like they think that bc they're younger than him, they think it's okay to call him that. BUT ITS NOT. THEY HAVE TO REALIZE THAT HE IS VERY MUCH STILL UNDERAGE AND ITS INAPPROPRIATE AND DISTURBING. And also regarding the "I can’t believe he's only 16" comments seem like they're from people older than him???? Which just makes it worse too??? Like TF YOU SHOULD KNOW THAF THIS IS WRONG? Atp I'm not sure what to even do anymore.... it's just disgusting.

Abt the fboy trope.... UMMMM WHAT NOW???? THATS NOT IT?? writing abt a minor who quote on quote has "sex a lot?" THAT ALREADY SCREAMS RED FLAG. like what the fuck do u realize that's already sexualizing a minor omg. And abt young kids writing suggestive things abt the hyungline also rubs me the wrong way....

Abt the safety thing,,,, tbh I agree but if I critique them I'd feel a lil too hypocritical bc when I was younger I also had socials when I wasn't supposed to. But it's a whole other issue abt putting all ur info out there. People should really take in mind their internet safety and not display everything abt themselves online. It is quite worrying.... and dw abt the blocking thing. I forsake block whoever I feel uncomfortable around :") and I hope others do the same.

Oops I said I would keep this short but if it really ain't short 😭😭🤚🏼 sorry nonnie

[woozi]

l&r shua and specially studio choom l&r shua... i still have no idea how i survived that, also it gave us blue hair cheol too <3 ... him sleeveless with blue hair, there are so many happy things just from this cb jdjsksskks i adore it.

wonshua fr were something else during l&r... omg after school, I'm guessing you've been into kpop way before me. anytime any clip from 17tv pops up i'm just ' they're so smol here they're so cute ' but also most of the time i have no context as well it's djjdsjskks. idk why but svt club is still something i find myself watching again i really liked its concept and them talking and sharing their thoughts it's very simple but also heart-warming.

is it creepy if i say i kind of did sghjkk i actually got to know you are interested in got7 recently when i ended up clicking the links in your bio. i swear im not a weird stalker jdjeekke i've been following your got7 blog way before than this one djdjdjjddj i only found this svt one recently after i decided to completely move back to tumblr and started following svt accs. I didn't know both blogs were you for a long time jddjdkd i apologize if it does seem lil creepy JDJDKSKSLS

jinyoung and mark are my biases, my ults actually <3 and yess i'm keeping up w/ their solo projects even more than before 😭 it's so jdjdkdkd. 2017 was the year i started listening to kpop and around that time or lil later i came across ' you are ' this song is so dear to me i loved it in first listen, its lyrics i love its lyrics sm i made everyone i know listen to it dhjddk yet i didn't dive in deeper bc i was caught up with other group at that time but slowly I started watching their content from 2018. it's like got7's been w/ me since the start & at the same time not </3 but look, lullaby and more importantly spinning top came and everything changed with that album it's so goood from then i started keeping up with their music and check their cbs. i knew jype was meh even when i didn't stan them but i didn't know to what extent, i only got to know after 2019. so far it's all so good and i hope it stays like that. all of their different companies treat and promote them nicely 🥺.

with svt it was instant love i got to know abt them during march 2019 ig, their songs grew on me so fast and boom by the time may came i was a carat, with got7 it was gradual love, it increased lil by lil it's nice but i do wish i could've stanned them earlier. the only cb experience as an official birdie i have is nbtm and last piece 😭 anyway both of these groups are very dear to me not just musically but emotionally too. i love them very much 😔.

also omg those are some of the great artists!! i honestly have no idea how khh and krnb are i mostly listen to kpop and kbands more. i actually listen to a lot of artists but regularly only zayn, svt, got7, the rose (ik we're talking abt kpop but i can't leave zayn out of this djdjdkdk he's the first ever artist i have stanned <3)

also onewe, n.flying, a.c.e, gaho ( i love his voice <3) woodz, day6. yk when you want new music but also something which you'd instantly enjoy otherwise you don't want new music sghjk, when i feel like this i just go to any of their discography. also special mention to hoppipolla and lucy bc they always bring something new to the table i love them for it. i love these artists but honestly i listen to them when i am in mood. i listen to gotsvt and zayn the most at the end of the day. goodnight <3 i love talking to you too 🥺🥺🥺 also feel free to answer late when you're free. hoping i made sense in this one and answered everything bc i am too sleepy rn fjdjkd - 🪂

BLUE HAIRED COUPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE RIPPED ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!1

iconique if u ask me <3 i heard lnr was indeed a good era for everyone!! wasn't it also cheol's first cb after his break? y'all must've had Fun fun

yes i have 😭 i grew up w koreans so... i guess that's also an influence. i got into kpop on my own volition during 4th grade though, so that's prob 2009/10??? GOD I FEEL SO ANCIENT RN!!!! honestly i still dk what 17tv was about i feel like we were just watching streams of some boys w no context as well 😭 AND YES OMG I GET THAT!! svt club is super chill and it's a great way of learning more abt the members!

JKDFJKKJDFFDKJ HELP!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT OH MY GOD YOU WERE IN MY G7 BLOG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i've mentioned last time, got7 got me back into kpop and consequently tumblr 😭😭😭 i 'left' tumblr too and was just checking in occasionally, so when i made that g7 sideblog i was WAY behind the times and my first edits were so fucking- 😭 everything about me then was also so performative idk why i felt the pressure to be in on the club 😭 why were you not annoyed with me then 😭 i'd block me if i saw me on the dash KJFKJFDKJDF thank god i got over it though (or should i be.. i'm a menace on the dash now <3 KJDKKJDFKJF) AND NOOO OMG it's not creepy at all. i put those links in for people to see them after all!! and i'm actually kind of honored you followed me even w/o knowing its me <3 i feel like i've passed the vibe check JJFDKJKJFD do you also follow my main 👀 i rmb someone greeting me here on my bday who said the exact same thing you did 😭

U LIKE OLD MAN JINYOUNG 😭😭😭 ok that makes sense w ur svt bias line tbh <3 i like jinyoung a lot too he's such a smug pain in the ass <3 ALSO MORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i l*ve mark oh my god i- i know i keep saying this... but ur taste <3 AND YOU ARE 😭😭 THE ERAS YOU DISCOVER/GET INTO GROUPS ARE SOOOO GOOD </3 you are was so meaningful to them, and i'm still so incredibly proud of them for this regardless of commercial success. also what group were u into that time omg 👀 I ALSO GOT INTO THEM DURING SPINNING TOP ERA KJFDKJFDKJFJKFDJKFD WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR!! u seem to like jaebeom's songs a lot <3 AND MS LULLABY!!! oh my god that's my favorite era <3 and yeah, so true bestie, i couldn't be happier for them they're doing FAR better than they have ever had compared to when they were in that shitty company. i'm still so amazed how they pulled all of this off though. jaebeom's must've went thru loads of papework he was prob so determined to show that old man what they are capable of FDJKDFJKD

NAURRR OMG IT'S SO CUTE HOW U PUT IT THAT WAY!! and i'm sure you'll get to experience more cbs with the 7 <3 they were already hinting at it yesterday on twt JKFDJKJKFD

OHHH THAT'S COOL!!! i haven't had a chance to listen much to kbands now, and if u ask me abt them the first ones that come to mind are ft island and cnblue bc im a kpop hag 😭 OH WAIT MAYBE DAY6 for the new ones?? my friends have also been recommending n.flying, the rose, and onewe to me. which bands do you listen to? and zayn??????? <3 ur so right abt that DFKJKJDFFDKJFD also omg go listen to khh they changed my life <3 i can give u a playlist if u'd like!! <3

OH WAIT THERE GOES THE BANDS FKDGKJKJF i usually reply paragraph by paragraph without reading the whole ask so JDFKJDFJK WAIT WOODZ????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????? I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO SEXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so cute too if that helps </3 ALSO MOOD I CANT BRING MYSELF TO LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC NOWADAYS EVEN IF I WANT TO BC OF THE SAME EXACT REASON 😭 the way we get each other is so- and i've never heard of hoppipolla omg i'll go listen to them now!! indeed <3 gotsvt is our home <3

and nooo u are so cute omg </3 and don't feel pressured to respond immediately to me as well!! i'm a v late replier but i'll always reply JKJKFDJKFD AND DW everything u said made perfect sense <3 i hope u get/got a good night's rest!! and that you'll have an awesome day ahead <3

[gayasinstupidpodcast]

What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!

Further Reading on LGBT Artists

Montage of a Queering Deferred: Memory, Ownership, and Archival Silencing in the Rhetorical Biography of Langston Hughes

The Political Provocations of Keith Haring 

Pop art politics: Activism of Keith Haring 

E M Forster’s Gay Fiction

Alok Vaid-Menon Tells Us What It’s Like To Be Femme In Public

Shea Diamond Speaks Her Truth

Aaron’s 2018 November Recs!

Alok Alok Vaid-Menon is one of my favorite poet/activist/performance artists out there! Their writing and stage presence is gorgeous and witty in a way that’s SO clever and still feels like you’re in a room trading jokes you don’t need to explain with your closest trans friends. The way they balance their art creates a real, deeply touching experience that feels very essential to our world.

Miles (2016) Miles is set in 1999 and is a coming of age story about a gay teenager trying to get a volleyball scholarship for college in Chicago. It’s not revolutionary and it’s not over the top dramatic, but it’s funny and honest and it makes me feel nice. Definitely the movie to watch when you’ve just been through something emotionally taxing and need a light crying session and some mediocre pastries.

Isaac’s 2018 November Recs!

The Adventure Zone I know half of you already kin the Mcelroys while the other half either don’t know or don’t care, but the Adventure Zone is one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s a DND podcast (yes, all episodes are transcribed, and they have a graphic novel for the first arc of Balance with a second one on the way!) by three brothers plus their dad, and not only does it have the most amazing story and is ungodly funny, but TONS of gays (Griffin went ape with those Lesbian NPCS)! And just because they can! Same with trans characters. It’s a story where they just exist, and that’s really important to me because in a lot of media LGBT have to almost prove why they deserve to take up space. And it’s not just something that goes on in their first campaign, Amnesty also has those sweet sweet gay! I could talk about this podcast for hours, so if you needed that final push to give it a listen, THIS IS IT!

Stardew Valley You get to farm and be gay. And if THAT hasn’t sold you on this charming video game, then maybe the super cute graphics, beautiful soundtrack and a handful of interesting characters will! TBH I spend so much time playing this game it’s concerning. It’s just such a fun way to relax, and I just really REALLY like video games were I can chose to be gay. Like. God Tier. YOU CAN HAVE CROPS AND CHICKENS AND BE GAY C’MON YALL!!

The Amazing Quotes And Artists Featured!

Meg | instagram | esty

“My identity as a bisexual woman influences my art in many ways. As a woman, i create art about the issues that effect me, such as abortion and gender equality, in order to resonate with the people that matter most to me. As a bisexual individual, my subjects often appear from a gaze that falls outside of the stereotypical eye. My figure drawings and portraits all come from a place of admiration, and don’t fall into the stereotype of the male gaze or womanly care- they are the space inbetween, equally sexualized and normalized. I feel lucky to be a bi gal in the art world because it is a place that is my own to create in. There are so many queer artists that i look up to such as Mapplethorpe and Warhol, and many female artists i can cite as influence (Jenny Holzer, Kiki Smith, and Louise Bourgeois to name a few). My identity gives me a whole new world of content to draw from and allows my work to resonate with a wider audience, and I really think that any artists goal is to reach and touch as many people as possible.“  

Cameron | twitter | instagram 

“I don’t think that it influences the form really, but it definitely influences the subject matter! (Much as I hate to admit it, my identity influences the majority of choices I make in life.) I write a lot of poems about lgbtq related things and religion, as well as other stuff too. I was raised catholic, so realizing that I was “different” at more than one point in my teen years was scary AF. Being a member of the lgbtq+ community and also trying to still feel like I belong, or wanting to, in a religious community is hard, the two things are usually at a crossroads in my life so writing about them makes it easier for me to get through. My hope is that someday someone reads what I wrote and finds some peace in their own life/experience.” 

Vince | art instagram

“Well, being transgender I feel like I’m constantly aware of the lack of representation of my community, and I feel like it might be because of that I tend to experiment with showing all sorts of different type of people in my work. Because there’s so much diversity in the world, why not showcase that?”

Fox | art instagram  

“Oof…I’m gay so my characters always be gay. Gotta Fill the void in media w my own bullshit so I don’t have to rely on straight showrunners who will inevitably discard the character since they themselves seem to have no personal attachment and treat lgbt characters as disposable extras. Bc if I don’t at least attempt to create representation in the field I’m going into then I can’t rlly complain about the lack of it right? If I don’t try and change it I can’t complain about the lack of change so being an lgbt artist is lowkey Big Pressure to be revolutionary in your work but sometime…..I just wanna draw funkey animeal and that’s aight too”

Jen | twitter | instagram

“As a female bisexual poet, I worry often that my poetry and art will be too niche to be appreciated. I’ve spent years editing my poetry down to its barest bones in hopes that someone will relate to it. Changing pronouns back and forth because I worry that if I do talk about a woman, the poem will be stripped of its context and suddenly be about my queerness when in reality it never was. When I write about love and people I have dated and have crushed on, I want the poem to exist outside of the gender of who I love. I fear my authorial death will result in a complete misinterpretation of what I mean. When I write, it truly does not matter to me if I am writing about a woman or a man. If I feel what I write and I can make someone else feel it too does it matter that I also love women? I write what matters to me overall, regardless of gender, I try to make my poetry as true as possible. Sometimes, when I catch myself over editing I try to take myself back to the moment, to the person, what I loved about him or her. “

Lain | art instagram

“My LGBT Identity has significantly impacted almost all of my art, especially my work over the last two years. Ever since I have allowed myself to accept that I am trans and began my transition (6 months on T!), the impact that my Roman Catholic upbringing has had on my bisexual trans identity has bled into my artwork. Because of the way I was raised, accepting and allowing myself to be authentic has been an upward struggle. And what better way to process and document struggle than art?  

Much of my recent work has had a focus on the trans body, particularly the “sanctity” of self-actualization and the god-like power that comes with accepting and creating yourself in the unique and exceptional way that LGBT people must in order to live authentically. Two of my pieces on this topic were actually recently exhibited at UWM in the Trans-lucent exhibition, and will remain there until December 15th (I think). I got sick and tired of never seeing trans representation, so now I am creating that space that I crave in my own work.”

Kobe | instagram | soundcloud

“My art from is very influenced by my LGBT identity. It is very influenced by my LGBT black Identity. I think that whenever an artist makes their art (in my case writing music, singing, dancing) they should incorporate as much of themselves as possible. I think my LGBT identity definitely adds a sense of representation as well. I want people like me to listen to my music to know they aren’t alone. So it influences my work a lot. “

Nat | art instagram

“I think the fact that I am part of the LGBT+ community influences my art directly. Even though I don’t draw as often as I wish, I believe both my drawings and college projects (I am a 3d art/animation student), and my creativity in general is inspired by my personal experiences as a gay woman and common things experienced by the community. I try as often as I can to bring representation of some kind in the things I do, mainly personal projects. I also feel that it influences me on my motivation to keep creating; whenever I listen to, see drawings, watch movies or see whatever form of artistic expression from LGBT+ artists it gives me the energy to keep going, to keep creating.”

[me-uglypretty]

*WARNING* this is going to be a long compiled mess of replies, so please take the time you need to respond and you don’t have to respond to everything : )

NO WAY I WATCHED DISNEY AND NICKELODEON RELIGIOUSLY TOO! ! ! (but also like, not me flipping through the files of all my favorite fandoms in my head before i go to bed trying to decide which universe to live in for the night… yikes or something aha *finger guns*)

MISS PEGGY CARTER DESERVES SO MUCH MORE AND CAPTAIN CARTER TOO!!! UGH I LOVE BOTH VERSIONS OF HER SO FREAKING MUCH! they totally nailed the old era vibe for the series, and i love the generalized aesthetic for that time era too so that was a major plus for me

ALSO STOP YOU’RE MAKING ME SMILE SO MUCH BY SAYING YOU LOVE MY ENERGY HAKSKDHN but i truly do love your energy too bestie <3

HONESTLY IF THERE WAS NO HEIGHT DIFFERENCE OR GLOWING LESBIAN I WOULD STILL WATCH THIS SHOW CAUSE OF THE DINOSAUR BUT THIS SHOW HAS ALL THREE?!?!! a big win for the gays i’m loving it

mmmm i’m sure i won’t like it in the beginning with feeling sympathy for parents but when a show succeeds in doing so, you know it’s a good show. so i’ll be open minded about it, even if it’s rich people problems lol

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BESTIE IM CACKLING “Her height went to her gay level I guess.” UGGGH I CAN’T BREATH I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD

((anyways yes all the parents absolutely need to go to therapy, and probably the kids too now, and i’m glad you don’t drive a prius or else i’d have to rethink somethings hahaha jk but yeah, they don’t give the best vibes a majority of the time))

(((HUUUUUUUUUHHHWA IK ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING AND I HAVE TWO MORE SEASONS AFTER THIS ONE SO LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHH)))

OH NOW I WANT TO READ THE COMICS EVEN MORE NOOOOOOWWW would you recommend reading them after i finish watching? and why yes, yes they are scientists… ((((man head is going to explode, there’s so many things to think about!!!))))

(((((yes, i agree with your mum. i’ve only seen him less than a handful of times yet this too will always be my response)))))

((((((people really do need to get with the times to get a better taste of all the true, great media that’s out there smh))))))

(((((((yes, i am getting the recommended amount of rest, maybe not in the right time frame tho, but i am getting it! thank you for asking : D i too can be unhinged when watching shows, but i have recently relearned the consequences of pulling an all nighter so i will not be doing so with this show. but my day was good, especially since i’m decompressing now by watching runaways! i hope you’re taking care of yourself and that your day/night is going to be good to!)))))))

Our mind??? I too pick which universe to live for at night (and sometimes daytime that I forget how I gotta exist in the real world???) AND I LOVE DINOSAURS LIKE I WILL WATCH IF THERE’S DINOSAURS AND THE QUALITY IS GOOD TOO cause some vfx is horrible (totally out of context but meet the robinsons’ t-rex is so cute)

I read the comics after watching 2 seasons I think? Cause I was waiting for the new season and decided to catch up with the comics. It kinda made me go “ahhh this is not the same AHHH WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT” but tbh, it’s up to you cause some things match up while some doesn’t (and comic tends to have heavy stuff which don’t end up making to live action).

And the show is kinda slow so I hope you have the patience cause sometimes it's like ya typical never ending tv series, but it's kind of nice to watch the basic shit with the superhero flairs and the glowing lesbian with her tiny girlfriend so it's also not basic??? i don't think i made sense but yes words

((I think WE ALL need therapy, but the parents especially dammit why don't all of them go get help))

(((I HAD FUN READING EVERYTHING LIKE THIS ENERGY IS WHAT I NEEDED WHEN IS STARTED WATCHING THE SHOW AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING OKAY!!!AND TAKING CARE AND DRINKING LOTS OF WATER)))

Thank you input runaway anon who forgot to sign off as input runaway anon

[heavyyhearts-blog]

actually heres my side

“ first, before getting to real stuff, aya has done this to other people in the past too. when she talked about them to me she said they abused her or abandoned her suddenly. i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off. i don’t have permission to post these logs so out of respect i won’t put them here. “

ive never been very clear in talking about my past experiences with most people. you make this sound as if every person that's ever "abandoned me" were all "abused" by me, when that's not the case. have i acted in shitty ways to some people? yes, but it never had anything to do with me being abandoned, at any point. one of these people, actually straight up disappeared from my life, and i have no idea why. they disappeared off skype and i havent seen them since. we had no problems between eachother whatsoever. a different example i can think of for someone i was talking about? they left because i was too stressful to be around. as in, i always complained too much and that kind of thing and it was too much to be around. i didnt even know them very long.  another example of a person i mentioned with that: they had really bad schizophrenia and like, trauma issues, and what happened there? they'd randomly like? actually start basically splitting on me and getting extremely angry at me out of nowhere for no reason, which i tried to be really tolerable of, until things basically got too much for either of us to handle and after a bit of dumb drama, we separated with , i believe, no hard feelings.

my point being? when i say "ive been abandoned by a lot of people" or whatever, im not literally claiming that i was abused by literally everyone and im some huge victim, lol. that last example? you could probably say i was abused due to the level of pent up anger they were throwing at me, , unprovoked

“ i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off “

first of all, this happened literal years ago. second of all, this person is still full of shit and i can't believe they still insist all of these bullshit lies. "aya stalked me" i hadnt visited your blog for months, i'd literally forgotten about you, yet you somehow still had it set in your head that i was "stalking" you. i wanted to remake my blog for a multitude of reasons, and one of them being, a more back of my mind thing, was, i didnt want you viewing my blog. so i remade. and, like, 2-3 days later, i got paranoid that you had somehow found my new blog, entirely new, so i asked my friend to go see if my new url was on there, because i didnt want to go back on your blog myself. and sure enough, there it was, my new url, even though i hadn't given it out to anyone or posted it anywhere, meaning you literally searched through notes of a post or something along those lines to find it. yeah ive explained this so many times now its fun :) not to mention your shitty friend(s) that would constantly twist my words around and lie saying i was doingthings that i didnt. and your only "proof" was logs of talking shit about me behind my back to one of my friends, you had no screenshots of me doing anything, because guess what, i never did it. wow. "i dont have screenshots because i deleted them all" okay bud. anyway

and now here's my main issue with everything: you are "calling me out" for things we have already personally talked about, that we either resolved, or i apologized for/said that i would try to stop doing so i can better myself which i have actually done? so i literally do not understand why youre calling me out for shit as if im some malicious person trying to hurt people that's just completely incapable of getting better or whatever. lets start

“i’ve tried to cut her off several times, both by trying to talk and express my want to stop talking to her first and by just blocking/ignoring her on everything. i made it clear i wanted to stop talking the first couple of times. she will spam and beg me and make new accounts if she has to. once ive added her back however she’s used that against me”

okay youre calling me out for this but you admitted what you did was fucked up too? and i dont know what else to even say to this other than im going to try to stop getting so attached to people like that so i maybe dont have such bad mental breakdowns every time i thnk someone close to me is leaving like sorry i cant. help feeling that way or control this thing specifically unless i just dont get attached like that at all, which is my fault.

[x] [x] [x]

here, you post a completely out of context rant from me, where i got mad at something you did that you literally admitted was fucked up. full context!

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

you even told me you had no idea what you were talking about with any of it.

“ one of the times that we weren’t talking she DMd my twitter mutuals asking them to screenshot my recent tweets. “

i told you my reason for it. i was extremely paranoid that you were talking shit about me behind my back and i wanted to know if you were or not, even though i did it in a really shitty way. i instantly felt so beyond terrible that i had done that. i was sobbing the entire time i was trying to apologize for how fucked up and wrong it was of me to do that, and even apologized for it again later after it had happened already. because i wanted to make sure you knew how sorry i was for it. i cant take something like that back.

[x] [x]

“recently, after getting so upset with me for doing the same thing in the past, she randomly blocked me on everything and refused to talk to me. i would understand if she hadn’t previously gotten so mad and upset at me for the exact same thing. “

?? i split really bad just like i already have been, due to , as i've already exlpained, the nonstop bad things we've had between us for months, to the point i havent been able to talk to you like normal anymore, because just seeing you pisses me off and everything you say/do will just piss me off. i cant help that. its not my fault. i cant just not split like that because we've had fucked up problems for months, that, guess what, shouldnt even be public here for all reasons ive already stated! but i also did it just because ive been deciding i need to get away from you for good, that i dont WANT to talk to you at all anymore. sucks to be treated the way you treat others right.

“ i posted on my twitter saying i wanted to drink and she instantly messaged me begging and spamming me not to “

and everything else like stalling, pressuring you etc. this is still. we talked about this. i said sorry. i got better about it. why do i have a callout.

[x] [x]

like this is literally all just trying to make me look bad in ways that i'm not. nice try, though!

“ when i cc’d bakugou and she tried to make me explain my trauma to make it Valid “

you're trying to make me look bad again. i was just asking because i was anxious wanted to know the reasoning for it and im sorry for pressing it at all but that doesnt mean i was trying to make you explain it so it could be "valid" shut the fuck up lol i even explained to you afterwards why it made me so uncomfortable and that it didnt bother me anymore, that i thought you were just blindly cc'ing him for no real reason like i just assumed it wasnt a coping thing or anything and thats my fault but??? youre trying to make me look bad for it so??? i'd even keep sending you fanart of him like.

[x]

“ she was extremely dependent on me and would spam me if i fell asleep before she woke up, she’d got upset and started splitting on me because i didn’t return her feelings of attraction. “

wat...

“ second, she’s blaming everything on her BPD and “not being able to help it,” or “can’t control herself” “

well, as you can clearly see, ive been anything but that??? but if you wanna keep telling yourself that, go ahead. have i said things LIKE that before? yes, when i was freaking out, over certain things i actually can't help, for example: abandonment trauma??? and like i said before: i need to try to not get so attached to people in the first place so that doesnt happen anymore! otherwise, should some sort of situation like that happen again, i can't handle getting that level of upset. so i prevent that by not getting that level of attached at all. like sorry but theres certain things nobody can help, even you. you're just trying to make it sound like this entire thing has been nothing but "i cant help it"

and lastly, we can't forget the fact that, for a long time, you wouldn't tell me anything. literally anything. i would repeatedly ask you. "what do i do that bothers you what am i doing wrong" etc and all you'd ever say was "idk" 95% of the time. i had absolutely no idea that for the longest time, i had been saying a lot of manipulative, shitty things and acting bad and etc, slash i had no idea that some of my episodes were actually affecting you that badly until way too late.

when you first told me that i had been acting so shitty, through a jpeg meme that was making fun of me, did i realize how awful i was being. i honest to god never had any idea and i explained this to you countless times. that i was  oblivious/i can be oblivious to shitl ike that and that i need you to tell me, otherwise I WONT KNOW.

nice meme. :) but yeah clearly this is still an accurate representation of me, right?

[x] [x]

yeah, you got me though. im a toxic, abusive piece of shit that will never get better, all i do is hurt others, i can't change, ive never apologized, ive never gotten better. totally

and since we're playing this game,

and now that i've said all this, i have nothing else to say. i can't make anyone believe me, but if you do, thanks.

[ramajmedia]

13 Reasons Why: 10 Hidden Details Fans Missed | ScreenRant

Despite any controversy, 13 Reasons Why is a wildly successful young adult drama hosted by Netflix. They just aired their third season and will wrap up the series with their fourth and final season in a year or two. Whether fans believe the show is harmful or helpful, no one can deny its fearlessness. While the drama and its bold tackling of serious topics bring in a lot of people, the countless details and mysteries woven into this series of secrets help keep people coming back.

But does everyone notice all the intricacies of the set designs and writing plans? Here are 10 hidden details fans missed in 13 Reasons Why.

RELATED: 13 Reasons Why: 10 Things We Don't Like About Clay 

10 Bedroom Decor

13 Reasons Why spends so much time focusing on the psychology of the kids at Liberty High that sometimes it lacks space to express their personalities, including likes and dislikes. Because of this, the set designers put a lot of time in reflecting the character in each bedroom fans see.

Of course, Clay, the main character, shows off his love of comics, robots, and music throughout his room. However, Alex also has band posters that change each season and several guitars. Justin's walls show off a love for action movies and the Raiders. Even Hannah exhibits a love for YA novels with every Hunger Games book on her shelf.

9 Ani's Hannah Line

While Ani is the all-new narrator and student for season 3, she does have some intense similarities with a certain other narrator. Hannah and Ani may have different interests—Ani loves science, Hannah is more poetic—but they have a very similar narrative voice. So much so that they both have alarmingly similar narration lines.

When Hannah introduces her tapes, she tells the listeners to "sit back" and "get a snack." When Ani commits to her own narration, she says that whoever's listening should "get comfortable, because this might take a while." Very similar, semi-sarcastic sentiments, right? Wouldn't be surprised if the writers did that on purpose to endear fans to Ani early on. After all, they liked Hannah, so if she sounds like her, they'd like her too, right?

RELATED: 10 Unanswered Questions From 13 Reasons Why Season 3

8 A Fan Of Taylor Swift

By now, most people know that 13 Reasons Why has a pretty famous producer in Selena Gomez. Many fans also know that, especially during the initial season of the show, that Selena and Taylor Swift were very close friends. That, of course, meant that Selena had to sneak in her most recent album cover (1989) into the halls of Liberty High.

Though the set designers weren't too obvious about it, it can clearly be seen on a school bulletin board during a few scenes. If Selena wanted to honor her friend, that's one neat way to do it. Also, it gave keen-eyed fans something to brag about catching to all their friends.

7 Underage Tattoos

Another way that 13 Reasons Why chose to add details about their characters personalities was in tattoos. The obvious examples are Justin Foley, Skye Miller, and Tony Padilla, all known for some serious ink. However, Alex, Bryce, and Monty are all seen sporting tattoos, too. It's already a serious fan endeavor to spot every single tattoo and determine which ones are real or not, but there's also another level to it.

After all, not all fans seem to be noticing that this is a lot of serious tattoos for a bunch of under-18 kids, right?

Also, the fact that some of these kids definitely wouldn't be able to afford that much ink. The body art in this show really has a lot of questions and details that not everyone notices.

6 Tape Timestamps

A minor but important detail in 13 Reasons Why has to do with the season 1 recordings. It's a very subtle visual, one that's easy to notice unless someone's looking for it: the timestamps on the recordings are set in the future, past when 13 Reasons Why season 1 debuted. The show premiered in March, but all the recording are set in November.

After some digging, the creators of this show put this detail in to show to viewers that there is still time to make a difference. They want people to see this show as a dangerous possibility, not an inevitable hurt. With the timestamps, they want to encourage people to be better for the future.

5 Same Taste in Music

While Hannah and Clay bond over work, movies, and school, they have more similarities than they even know. If they ever spent much time in each other's bedrooms, they'd learn they had a very similar taste in music. They even possibly went to the same concert. Both Hannah and Clay have an Arcade Fire Reflektour poster on their walls.

One, this just helps prove the part of season 1 where both Clay and Hannah suspect they'd be good together. However, it shows one of the serious flaws between them: their poor communication. If they only talked about what they thought and felt, they could have been together, but it didn't work that way between them. Fans can really learn a lot from noticing this small detail.

RELATED: Every Song In 13 Reasons Why Season 3

4 Zach's Pier Phone Call

In the first episode of season 3, a lot of the students end up in ominous and suspicious scenes after Bryce is declared missing. The most suspicious is Zach, calling Bryce, panicked, surrounded by concrete. While the next episode focuses on him and Chloe, it doesn't explain the phone call.

It's easy, with all the high drama, to completely forget about the call. However, for detail-oriented fans with great memories, they can connect that phone call to the penultimate episode, where Zach beats up Bryce on the pier for hurting Chloe and breaking his leg. Zach came back to the concrete pier to see if Bryce was still there and, when he wasn't, calls him, panicked. Gives more context between Zach and the ending, doesn't it? Only for the ones who noticed, of course.

3 Hannah's Attraction To Mike And Ike

This detail is a pretty easy one to miss considering it spans two different seasons. In season 1, fans find out that Clay really likes Mike and Ike's candy. Neat, whatever. A season later, though, the show also shows that Zach really likes the candy, too, always ordering it whenever he visited Hannah at work.

Considering these two guys were the more serious love interests that Hannah had before losing her life, that's quite the coincidence. Apparently, she has a thing for guys who like Mike and Ike's. Maybe it just says that Zach and Clay have more in common than they'd ever think. Only pro fans notice that kind of thing, though.

2 Tyler's Inspiration

While fans saw Tyler's dangerous turn towards violence coming a mile away, there is more going on behind the scenes. For the eagle-eyed fan with some history knowledge, they'd know that Tyler's season 1 finale gun reveal has more meaning. They set designers created his collection to look very similar to that of the Columbine shooters' collection.

Moreover, in the story, he almost shoots up the school dance on the same day as Columbine: April 20th. Only fans with a good eye for detail would catch on to the very deliberate inspiration for Tyler's storyline.

1 Nancy and Sid

This detail was in people's faces, yet also kind of subtle in its own way. When Justin is on the run, he sends Jessica postcards under the name Sid, telling her that he loves her. The show makes it clear that this is a reference to their couples' costume from the year before, Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. He's using the name to give her notes and information. Ultimately, knowing this leads Clay and Tony to find him.

However, the more complicated detail people might not notice or realize is that Sid and Nancy fell apart due to drug abuse and sexual and domestic violence. That sounds familiar to some season 2 Justin/Jessica turmoil, doesn't it? Only the cleverest researchers with a good eye would notice that.

NEXT: 13 Reasons Why: 15 Things Fans Choose To Ignore About The Show

source https://screenrant.com/thirteen-reasons-why-hidden-details/

[connectza]

#LitWednesday - Larry Achiampong

We recently had a chat with British-Ghanaian artist, Larry Achiampong about his artwork and performance style.

Could you please give us a brief introduction to yourself and your work?

My artistic practice involves both solo and collaborative projects that are represented in the form of installations, objects, visual or audio-based archives, live performance and sound to explore ideas that connect class, cross-cultural and post-digital identity.

I feel that the way I work is very much like a Dj or a crate-digger in that I search for histories and stories, and as a result of these findings I interweave new possibilities or versions into these moments. For example, the project ‘Meh Mogya’ (2011) is a confluence of audio samples from my parent’s record collection of Highlife Music, a sort of self-portrait that traces my Ghanaian heritage through an art form that was once used as a political tool of the nation’s pride.

When and how did you begin the journey into live art performance?

I like to view aspects of my upbringing as having a large influence on the way I view and conceive performance works. I come from a working-class background and my mother and father used to take my siblings and I to church every Sunday. We mostly went to Ghanaian, Ashanti-Pentecostal style churches that involved infectious, bold, energy-driven testimonials from the lead pastor/s. Of course, this is hugely connected to my latest video work ‘Sunday’s Best’, but in a retrospective essence it was here that I first saw the body used as a communicative tool; hand/bodily gestures, to dance, to spoken word and so on. My uncle used to live with the family when I was a child, and he was one of the first DJs to mix Highlife music with Hip-hop into his sets. I never went to many performances, however I would be fixated on his actions when he practiced his (vinyl-only at the time) DJ sets and crafted mixtapes at home. I think that is something that people manage to really miss when it comes to DJ’s and performances…those nuances of focus between the DJ, the sounds they choose and the marriage of collaged sounds. And in my teenage years there were always friends who were building rhymes or making beats using FL Studio (Fruity Loops) or reason. This was at the height of the Garage sound, moving into Grime. People would refer to their bedrooms as the ‘studio’, and the bedroom would be turned into this space where we would pour our energy and flex that hype – that in itself had a spirit of performance to it.

Could you please take us through Ph03nix Rising: The Mogya Project? What inspired it, and how did it come about?

Ph03nix Rising is a project that I conceived during my 2015-16 Sound & Music Embedded residency at the British Library. Following ‘Meh Mogya’ and ‘More Mogya’ and my focus on investigating sound within a Ghanaian context, I became interested in opening the framework by researching audio samples from communities across nations throughout West Africa. And so with access to the British Library’s World and Traditional Music Archive I spent time listening to a range of material - early Edwardian-era audios through to contemporary field recordings. And so similarly with the Mogya projects, I sampled and created new sounds from the archival material. Around that same time I just so happened to be playing a videogame called Xenoblade Chronicles X – a futuristic science-fictional game that involves humans setting up shop and colonising an alien planet through war and pillaging. I found parts of the story both troubling and intriguing in the same breath, but I also found that there was a relationship with the colonial context of the audios that I had sampled, and so I came up with this idea that I would use some of the visuals in this virtual landscape and couple them with the effected sounds that I had generated. This was coupled with a wordplay (that features in the video component of the performance) creates a manuscript of intergenerational colonial legacies.

The choice to document history and identity using science fiction created an interesting contrast to the narrative of the performance. Could you please tell us more about that?

I think where my practice is situated there’s a strong marriage with research that working with performance (and the body) became a natural platform to see how the archive could be activated, especially from the point of view of identity. For example, I also wear this garb during the Ph03nix Rising performance in the form of a spit sock hood, and a disposable boiler suit. I invited this into the performance as I felt there was an opportunity for me to deal with a psychological trauma that many black people (myself included) go through. Over the years I have experienced various acts of violence inflicted by the police due to having a black body, and at the young age of 16 I was arrested because I was black. I can vividly remember a lot of the distress and even hysteria that I went through - being placed within that jail cell, alone, I tried to calm myself and I just couldn’t. Its probably the most scared I have been in my life. My clothes were taken for forensics and I was made to put on the exact type of boiler suit that I am wearing in the performance. So I am on the one hand dealing with a history that is traumatic, personal, and interpersonal, whilst at the same time contemporary, since this kind of thing (and worse) is still happening in 2017. The use of the spit sock, a primitive degrading tool of oppression in this context then becomes a no brainer – it is frequently used by law enforcement throughout the west and due to black people being disproportionately represented at all stages of the criminal justice process, situations like that which happened to Ik Aihie are going to continue.

You make numerous references to Frantz Fanon in a lot of your work. Where did the interest come from, and can you tell us more about his influence in your work, and the importance thereof?

I came across Fanon’s work during my formative years, I was doing a BA in fine art (2002-05) and you could say I was finding it really hard to fit into that environment - I was studying in a place where there were fewer working class or black people and so I didn’t feel understood on a range of levels. I had a couple of great tutors whom I would talk to about how I was feeling and Peter Owen (who co-ran City Racing gallery) recommended looking into the work of Fanon. I read ‘Black Skin, White Masks’ and immediately found a space where I could begin to locate what was happening with regards to my black body being in the crosshairs of the white gaze. So although the ‘Finding Fanon’ collaboration with David Blandy in its title is dealing with a unique perspective on Fanon’s ideas and lost writings, I would certainly say that some of my past projects and works have also been influenced by his writings. You can find such connotations in the ‘Cloudface’ motif I employ from ‘Lemme School You’ through ‘Cloud’, ‘Glyth’ and even ‘Underdog’.

Where can people access you, and your work?

You can check out my website: larryachiampong.co.uk, I’m showing work in the Diaspora Pavilion at the 57th Venice Biennale from May 13th through November 26th. I’ll soon be releasing a new audio project on vinyl, its untitled, but you can stream it here. ‘Sunday’s Best’ will be screening at the BFI this month on the 31st of March. David Blandy and myself will also be screening the entire Finding Fanon Trilogy at Tate Modern on the 24th of May.  

Images: courtesy of Larry Achiampong and ICA

Larry was part of the ICA Live Art Festival in February 2017.