#ikea's dollies

[ikea-dollies]

Birthday Gift.

words: 1.2k~ cw: smut, soft fluff (bc Dante loves her very much) I guess, legal age gap (25&33) a/n: You know me. This is not Proofread.

May 5th, 2024

Dante sat outside his shop, watching the delivery driver carrying inside spools upon spools of new fabric he had ordered, a cigarette between his fingers and eyes locked on the sun lowering in the horizon.

Marissa was out with her friends tonight, partying and having fun, completely unaware of what he was up to, of what he was planning.

Dante prided himself in being able to keep certain aspects of his life under wraps. It came with being involved in the things he is, the life he leads, the kinks he engages in.

It could also stem from having suppressed certain sides of him growing up to avoid criticism and abuse. Maybe.

Either way, he was actually a good liar, or, at the very least, good at hiding the truth even if he didn't particularly enjoy it.

Like currently, when he had told Marissa he was knee-deep in projects for some event and, therefore, had to work overtime and wouldn't be available as often as she wished for him to be.

He told her, also, he didn't want her to feel neglected or abandoned, but that he knew he was going to be in no mood for visits or play sessions and would likely not even answer texts for a while.

Dante had spotted the way she tried arguing, pouting, getting a bratty attitude, only for him to shut it down and tell her directly, eye-to-eye "This is not an invitation for you to be a brat and defy me. I'm telling you how it is. I'm gonna be stressed and overworked and don't want to risk you catching me in a bad mood and me hurting you."

Was it harsh? Yes. Did it make him feel like shit? Also yes. But, this time, a lie was necessary. It'd be worth it. Just to see the smile on her face.

That's the only thought in his mind as the driver comes back out of the shop and extends the electronic signature device to him, letting Dante sign for the delivery.

-

May 15th, 2024

"Have the fit you wanna have, princess, but get dressed and get in the fucking car." Dante scolds her as he glares at her from the other side of the threshold of her apartment.

Sure, he knew Marissa would be a brat, but what did she expect? He did warn her he'd be stressed and busy, so why was she now denying going out with him on her birthday?

"No." Marissa retorts and crosses her arms, a pout on her lips. "You don't get to ignore my texts for three days and now suddenly message me to get dressed and that you're taking me out on my birthday without even having texted me 'Happy Birthday' or 'Good morning'."

Dante takes a deep breath to steel himself and sighs. "Marissa, for all that is Holy-" He begins, squeezing his gloved hands into fists. "Either you get dressed and come down to the fucking car so I can show you your stupid fucking birthday gifts, or I will toss you over my shoulder and take you as you are right now." He warns and gestures at her lounging outfit.

"I'd like to see you try." Marissa replies with a bite to her voice, already on her to slamming the door shut in his face. Dante stops her by slamming his foot between the door and the doorjamb.

"Now you listen here, you brat-" He warns as he pushes the door open and wraps his arms around the shorter girl, sliding his fingers amidst her pretty brown hair, his fingertips gripping her head and holding it in place.

Marissa tries fighting him, squirming, only for him to pin her against the wall and quench her needy thirst by pressing his thigh between her own, his arm around her back pulling her down and rocking her back and forth against the black material of his slacks.

She mews so prettily, even when she's angry at him... especially when she's angry at him.

"Is this what you need? To have me fuck the attitude out of you, hm? On your own birthday?" He taunts as he looks her in the eye, his nose brushing against her cheek and his lips already kissing up her jaw and wetting her skin.

"Shut up-" Marissa retorts, still holding onto her bratty fit, but slowly losing her bravado as he rocks her back and forth against his thigh, her toes barely catching a perch on the floor of her apartment, sometimes grazing his polished dress shoes.

"I would've thought a little brat like you would want me to treat her all nice, take her out to an expensive dinner, and present her with a fortune worth of gifts..." He teases and chuckles.

"But no... All you want is me, isn't it, sweet thing? All you need is your Sir, isn't it?" He adds as he carefully probes his tongue into her mouth, feeling her suck on it, while his hands grab her around the hip and pull her close.

Marissa whines into his mouth, sucking and licking his tongue, feeling the taste of him, one she hasn't had the ability to get in 10 days, and has missed dearly.

Pulling back from the kiss, he resumes talking to her, nearly goading her. "You could behave, you know? You could... let me take you out like I planned... You know how much it cost me to reserve a table for us at that one restaurant you always talk about wanting to go?" He complains as he kisses her jaw and keeps rocking her cunt against his thigh.

"God damn you, sweet thing," Dante grunts as he undoes his belt with one hand, tugging down his dress pants, and fishing out his already hardening cock. "I love how much of a brat you are, but you also annoy the crap out of me," He says, his tone fully affectionate as he takes her hand and wraps it around his length.

"Is this what you wanted? This cock?" He taunts before pulling her underwear aside and rubbing his fingers down her slit, and back up, his fingertips rubbing against her clit. "These fingers? Me taking care of your pretty cunny, huh? Because she can't resist me, can she?"

Marissa nods and bucks her hips against his hand, causing a rumble of a laugh to rise in his chest. Her sounds of pleasure are soft and needy as her hands grab onto the material of his blazer, one he tailor-made for himself.

"God, you know how long I spent on your gift? And all you wanted was my cock buried inside you?" He asks her as he leans his forehead against hers, his fingertips still fanning over her clit, rubbing and carefully twisting it between two fingers.

"What is it...?" His brat ends up asking through frustrated and needy sounds of pleasure, causing Dante to chuckle again.

"I sewed you a whole closet worth of pieces..." He murmurs and closes his eyes as she fists his cock a bit faster, hissing through clenched teeth. "Dresses, skirts, tops, pretty little panties that I plan on ripping off you..." He murmurs in her ear before biting her earlobe.

"Anything you could ever want, I sewed it for you, and any other time you find something you like, I'll sew it too..." He tells her as he licks a stripe up her neck before kissing her again.

for @goose-dollies :) sorry I got lazy at the end, idk

[curiosity-killed]

Life lesson: when the delivery guys don’t just offer to bring the furniture to your apartment but are like “are you sure??? It’s REALLY heavy”

maybe. listen.

[your-nanas-house]

𝕛ꫀ𝕣ꪮꪑꫀ ꪜꪖꪶꫀડ𝕜ꪖ- ρꪖ𝕣𝕥 𝟤

Running

Jerome’s sugar baby

Bad day

Just a kiss for Christmas

Miss Know-It-All

Jerome with a colourful s/o

Jerome with Fish’s worker

Opening hours

Imagine

His not so innocent dolly

Imagine

A shared cookie

Imagine with innocent reader

Taking care s/o

Shopping for future child

Target run

Birthday after Valentine’s Day

Dinner

Go to the sea

While playing the piano

List

My personal photographer

Horror movie marathon in a blanket fort

Little Rosie

Make-up on TikTok

Jerome with a “Wednesday Addams” girl

“Jerome?” (Teaser)

“Jerome?”

“Jerome?” 2

First time (Teaser)

First time

Opera

It tastes like fried chicken

Blind date

Valentine’s day 

Jerome’s proxy

IKEA

S/O pregnant

Greek gods

Watching star wars for the first time

Carnival

Pretty pathetic noises

Kind Naive doll

Begging kink + mommy kink

Food play + kitchen sex

Anger Releaser

Giggling little “girl”

My heroine

Headcanon friends with benefits

His Angel

Painting together

The pillow

Mutual masturbation + denial

Delayed gratification + orgasm

Stomach-ache

Exibitionism + voyeurism

Semi-public sex + clothed sex

[nohomie]

I have 3 questions mostly about the characters in the hunt vs hunted au.

1. How does Julie feel being stuck in the over world? Does she feel home sick?

2. what are the characters ages or how long they lived? Because I know wally is immoral and probably lived like a long time.

3. (This one about your oc) what is dolly backstory? And why does she look suspicious? Is she...a bad guy? 🤨

1. She finds the overworld fascinating, like a kid that gets to explore Ikea with no parental supervision. She's a lot less reckless now compared to back when she first arrived there but there's still the spontaneous energy to her. While she does have fun whenever she can, she does miss her family from time to time, though she doesn't let that get to her that much. There's a subtle toxic positivity to her mindset.

2. I can tell you who's oldest to youngest if that helps since I don't have a specific number in mind for most of them. So in order: Poppy, Home, Wally, Frank, Barnaby, Dolly Sally, Julie, Howdy, and Eddie. Y/N can fit either before or after Eddie, they just aren't as ancient as all the other characters lol. All adults

3. Can't spoil anything. All you have to know is she's working under Home now. I'd say yeah, she does have a bad vibe to her but she's more of a grey character at worst

[maleficentmrsofallevil]

Project Journal - The Wall of Doll

I am exceptionally lucky to have two rooms in this house that are mine to do with as I please. This Project Journal is for my home office, where I spend 99 percent of my day. Therefore, it needs to have the greatest concentration of happy go-go-brain-juice decorations.

The room is 9 feet by 11 feet with one window and a closet. This mock-up is already inaccurate, because the round blue circle up top (trash can) will fit under the desk. I'm going to get a little kid chair and put Elysia in it instead. Also, I've mocked up a wall of shelves from IKEA's room planner that will stretch to cover the entire wall:

Sure, that seems like a lot of money. But considering how much I've paid for a new Iplehouse doll? Yeah. Not bad. My ceilings are 8 feet up from the floor, so I should be able to fit big girls on even the top shelves. I'm hoping to get my monsters (Rita mantitaur) to stand on the bottom shelves, which are 15 inches deep.

Behind the shelves, I'm putting up a peel-and-stick wallpaper mural.

I like this one so far.

The enormous desk that's currently in here will be perfect for Craftorama room (future project). But before I can even start the fun stuff (order the mural and shelves, decorate), there's so much boring crap to do.

Remove dolls, MLPs, cardboard, packing stuff, and empty the closet of BJD boxes. I've made an executive decision: the dolls stay out where I can see them, and the boxes are going in the trash. All respect to the careful BJD owners who keep their dolls in boxes and only remove them to photograph and dress them. I am not you. I need to see my dollies.

Trash and shred old paperwork in the cabinet. There are years and years of old documents in there. They gotta go. Easily the worst part of this project. The good thing to come out of this will be more storage for doll stuff.

Steam off the gawdawful wallpaper border in this room. It's very country cottage-chic. I hate it.

Pick a paint color I like from the mural, and paint the other three walls. Actually, I'm thinking two colors. One dark "accent" wall (I've heard those are a thing) and two light colors. Reinstall door trim.

I'm also thinking of some over-the-door organizers, like those shoe organizers that are terrible for shoes (they get dirty and stinky quickly). Washing them is also a nightmare - I know. I've tried. I ended up trashing it. So, it will have to be for non-shoe storage.

Install and hang curtains to protect dollies/MLPs from sun.

Assemble new desk and install.

Concurrently, disassemble monster desk and remove. Oh, and move all the computer stuff from one desk to the other, which is another task I am dreading.

Assemble the bookshelf that has been sitting in a box for 3 years now and put it in one corner. I don't remember what it looks like, other than it's weirdly geometric. I can't remember if it's black or wood color. It may need painted.

Order and install mural and wall of shelves.

And the best part - fill shelves with dollies and MLPs (the little row of shelves).

None of this, of course, can interfere with work. Considering that I spend most of my weekends sleeping, and I have to complete a certification for work during my "free" time (ha ha ha - free time), this should be interesting.

[jensownzoo]

The universe is laughing at me.

I had two tasks that I had to accomplish today, both errands that included a fair amount of walking. I got back from the first one—walking with the dolly to Home Depot to get two bags of potting soil to pot up my pepper plants—and I was already tired and feeling a bit whiny. So to prod myself into doing errand #2 (library and grocery store, also walking), I told myself over and over during the whole trip that once I got home I could shower and laze about in bed for the entire rest of the day. And even though I was telling myself that only in my head, the universe apparently heard me and decided to be a little shit.

As I rounded the corner to my block, I saw that the request I had submitted to ChipDrop two weeks earlier had been fulfilled. Which, ngl was a little exciting. BUT also means that I’ve spent the last two hours shoveling green wood chips and shredded leaves into an old IKEA bag and carrying it to various places on the property to make sure people’s cars had enough room to pass the pile (because it had to be dumped on our two-car-wide street). I think I’ve addressed maybe 1/6th of the pile? Got the whole path in my side yard buried 6” deep as well as a few foot border to the new front garden bed. Next up is to fill the chicken run and mulch the silver maples on the side of the garage. Then I’ve got a place picked out to pile the rest to mature for mulching around plants in the spring.

So it was overall a good surprise, though the timing was...suspect.

[thenightjillcamehome]

istg i’m so impatient for next week cause i’m getting another display case but i have to go in ikea to get it (can’t order it cause if that fucker breaks in transit im gonna be MAD) like I WANNA PUT UP MY DOLLIES NOW!!!!!

[ivanwainwright]

Film Project Shoot Day 5

Today was wrap day!

We shot on 4 different locations rapidly today with a small skeleton crew of Duncan, Jack, Max, and me along with Dorian. Starting out getting a wide shot of the Salisbury Craigs for the superimposed running shot, we moved onto close-ups on Craiglockhart Hill, the huge dolly shot at Cramond Beach and finally the last close-up at Abbie's flat.

It was a lot of fun, the small crew size meant a lot more freedom to improvise as group and rework on a smaller scale. This was also the only day we really wanted overcast weather, and we managed to achieve it as well!

We got lunch at IKEA which was great too.

After getting the martini shot at Abbie's, we said goodbye to Dorian and Duncan and the four HoDs present sat and cleaned the kit. We had a discussion about the boom pole. I'm unhappy with how it's being handled, it feels as if everybody is trying to pass blame from themselves instead of looking for a practical solution.

After kit cleaning, I got the bus home with Jack and had a talk about how filming went. I'm glad to have been able to check up on the crew throughout the process, as it is often difficult for voices to be heard on set. Truly exhausted now, but really happy with the footage we captured. On to post!

[unavernales]

Guai laughed. "Okay, okay." Boo's hair was given a little ruffle. "First... They gotta hold hands a little. Set the mood, y'know?" He stood the doll up by the bed, positioning her hands out. "Oh, babe, I had such a good time with you tonight... Wow! Is this the new bed you bought?" Said with a higher pitched voice for maximum immersion.

a little purr emits from boo's chest at the pet. dark eyes are fixed firmly upon the scene guai is setting. okay. boo likes to hold hands before bed as well. that makes sense. boo jumps to action, adding frankie to the scene easily. "mhmm," and it nudges the doll's head so it looks like she's nodding because that's how you play dollies! "i got it from ikea!" a place its best friend always talked about getting furniture from. boo also adjusts frankie's little plastic hand to connect to abby's. now they were holding hands! the bed would be broken in in no time!

[upscaleyou]

Make money with your car

Food delivery.

If you have a car and free time, use both to your advantage and deliver food from apps like Doordash, and Ubereats.

Once you sign up the schedule is entirely up to you. This means you can decide when to start and stop for your shift.

Also with Doordash, you are guaranteed $10 per hour when the day is slow.

2. Go grocery shopping for others.

This is usually for customers that are elderly and can not leave their homes for example or people who are too busy to go in person due to work etc.

Apps like Instacart and Gopuff are great options to start with.

Go shopping for people by using the list they provide, deliver it to their homes, and earn money.

You can earn $10 or more per hour depending on how busy the day is.

3. Wrap your car for cash.

If you do not mind what the outside of your car looks like, then consider using your car to advertise for a business.

Use apps like Wrapify, here is how to do so;

Download the app and sign up, then the service will link you to a company to wrap your car partially or fully it is great to note that the wraps are easy to remove.

Depending on the model of your car and how much it is insured for, you can make $450 to $100 for just driving and in turn advertising.

4. Become a mover.

This is ideal if you own a larger car like a truck or SUV because the larger the better....pun intended 😏

Nway as I was saying, with this model of business you would help people who want to move to a new place but do not have a large enough car to do so.

That is where you come in to help by using apps like Dolly, Goshare (Must have a truck), and TaskRabbit.

5. Become a moving handyman.

If you enjoy, enjoy is the keyword there, assembling furniture from stores like Ikea for instance which can be a pain to do, then this job is perfect for you.

Apps like TaskRabbit are great for this as they will alert you when someone needs your services and you can use your car to get to and from jobs.

6. Become a designated driver for customers that have had too much to drink at night.

Apps like Saferide are a good option to help get someone home late at night after a party for example.

In conclusion;

Your car can be an asset that you can use for more than just your own transportation needs.

Put your pride aside and get started on earning that extra cash.

[wordsnwhiskey]

esposa!!! i just saw this pic and thought of you!!!!!

AN AU WHERE FRANKIE OWNS A MOVING COMPANY!!!!!!! OMGGGGG YOURE LIKE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WRITE THIS BABY I LOVE YOU THE MOST

fdjsafjda;ls DANI! So apparently this never made it from my notes to tumblr buuuuuut here we go Mover!Frankie AU crack nonsense.

Rated M for inappropriate ooc shenanigans.

He was way too fucking old to be doing this shit anymore and his back forgave him less and less for it every day. Frankie killed the ignition of his beater Toyota Baja with a peeling “Catfish Moving” sticker on the side. Santiago should be pulling up shortly in their small box truck that was in only slightly better condition than the ancient truck Frankie drove.

He sighed then fixed his hat and slid out of his truck then looked down at himself, his white t-shirt and khaki plaid shorts weren’t what he’d normally pick for a job but they’d have to do. He grumbled to himself as he pulled the dolly out of the bed of his truck. Fucking Tom, had forgotten to tell them they had a last minute job today until they were all together at Frankie’s place and he’d just put the burgers on the grill.

You eyed the man who seemed a tad too tall for the, frankly crappy little white truck that had pulled up in front of your apartment complex. He was later than the guy… was it Tim? Tom? Had said he’d be but at least he was there. The man wasn’t bad looking either, even if he looked suspiciously like a dad who had been pulled away from his beer and lawn chair at a cookout. You even caught the slight smell of charcoal as he approached you.

“Hey there, I was expecting you a bit earlier but glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, scheduling mix up.” Frankie grunted, crossing his arms as leaned on the dolly, one hip was cocked out and he looked at you expectantly.

Your eyes wandered down to his arms when he crossed them. Damn he looked good. “Right,” you startled, realizing you were staring longer than you should have been. “I’ve just got a couple things that need to be loaded up and taken to my new place. I’ll uh, I’ll show you.”

Frankie uncrossed his arms and followed you into the air conditioned building and up the elevator then into your mostly empty apartment. He surveyed the room and turned to you, eyebrows raised and an exasperated expression on his face.

“This it?”

You frowned at his confusion, you had explained the job in detail to the guy on the phone.

“Yeah, just the air conditioner, the table and my mattress.”

He was standing closer to you than he had been outside and you found yourself desperately wishing those big, strong arms of his were holding you closer.

“Did Tom tell you there’s a 2 hour minimum?”

Frankie watched the way your lip pouted and brows knit together, evidently Tom had most certainly not told you about it. The pout was gone shortly after, replaced with what he thought was nervousness.

“Well,” you looked him up and down and bit your lip. “I still have my mattress here, I can think of a few things we can do to hit that minimum.”

Frankie blinked and for the most fleeting of moments, he thought about his beer and burgers waiting for him back home, then he felt you pluck his hat from his head and your fingers ran through his hair, as you looked up at him.

You noticed his hesitancy and suddenly felt self-conscious, what the hell were you doing? “I don’t want you to think that because I’m a client that you have t-”

“Did Benny or Pope set you up for this shit?” You frowned at his question. “I don’t even know who those people are?” Frankie thought for a moment then closed the gap and kissed you, his calloused hand curling around your hair and holding you to him while he deepened the kiss. He moaned. Fuck it.

“Yeah, yeah we can… yeah let me just get this down to the truck. I’ll have my guy take it and…”

Frankie trailed off as he stared down at you then he took a step back and adjusted himself. He quickly loaded the small Ikea table and air conditioner on the dolly then wheeled it out the door, throwing you wolfish grin from over his shoulder then made his way to the elevator. When he got outside, Santiago was leaning against the box truck, waiting.

“How bad is it, Fish? I’m starving.” Pope complained as he followed Frankie and hopped into the bed of the Baja truck to help load the small items from the dolly. Once everything was cinched down Frankie pulled his truck keys from his pocket and handed them to Pope.

“Not bad at all, you can just take these to the delivery address then you can head back to my place. I’ll grab what’s left and drive the box truck.”

Santiago raised an eyebrow at Frankie, he hated driving the box truck.

“You sure about that, Fish?”

Frankie dusted himself off then winked. “Yeah, the client came up with a way to meet her two hour minimum.”

Santiago grinned and grabbed Frankie’s hand to shake it. “Atta boy Fish!”

[ikea-dollies]

Animals.

words: 2.6k~ cw: mafia and other matters of the sort (drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.), smut smut smut, piv (unprotected), the worst relationship in the world (but fr this time), toxicity, hate, enemies to fuck buddies, BIGGGG age gap (25&50) a/n: You know me. This is not Proofread.

Fates cross and the two worst people to have ever laid foot in New York City are suddenly tangled in each other's webs...

(Very inspired by Animals by Maroon 5)

The social club looked like it could be taken out straight from the 1920s: wood panneling all over the walls, leather chairs, sofas and armchairs....

A large bar counter with two impeccably dressed bartenders behind them, in suits and bowties, preparing cocktails and drinks poured nearly straight from the expensive thousand-dollars-worth liquor bottles.

A jazz band playing in the corner stage, a few blackjack and roulette tables in the further back of the room, elite only, away from prying eyes.

The bar takes cards, for everything else, it's live cash or checks. And people make sure to play like they intend on losing their entire fortune. It's more fun that way.

Champagne coupes, whiskey tumblers, cigars aplenty... Maybe even a bit of cocaine, for the more adventurous ones... And, of course, escorts galore.

Men in suits lounging all around, young women in slinky dresses perching on their knees, greedy male hands smoothing over the smalls of their backs, the crooks of their waists, around the soft skin of their thighs, their arms, their necks, their hair.

Protection details and henchmen were left at the door, like dogs tied on a pole outside the bodega in the corner. Guns and knives are checked with the bags and coats. Neutral territory, they call it.

Incardo Lozada Buffonge sits in a leather couch in the corner, a pretty blonde woman sitting on his lap. She's foreign, speaks little English, smiles too much, fidgets with his tie and lets him grope her to his will.

His dark hair is slicked back, his suit, Armani, white on white, polished shoes reflecting the yellow tones of the vintage lamps and candelabras that light the space in warm tones.

To his right, Amarion Bindo Gerardo, his second-in-command, black on black, matching the boss, but the complete opposite of him. They talk in hushed whispers, drinking and looking around, taking note of adversaries, rivals, acquaintances and the rare ally.

The room isn't too full, but the event is still a real who's who of the underground business. Mob bosses, corrupt politicians, military leaders and law agents, cartel bosses, Yakuza, Triad, Bratva... Anyone that has stakes in the crime syndicates of New York City is present.

Incardo's eyes find their way across the room to the blackjack table. From where he's sitting, he can see her from the side. Sitting dead center, across from the card dealer, arms resting on the edge, holding her set of cards.

Long, sleek brown hair, tied back into a half-up, half-down hairstyle, long slender arms, longer slender legs, a tan that is, in no way, artificial, wearing an off-white dress, corsetted up top but loose around the legs, with a slit that gives a tantalizing view of her thigh.

She's young. He wouldn't put her a day over 25. And she's beautiful. Beautiful enough for him to want. Same with any other young, beautiful woman he sets his eyes on. Good for a night or two and never again.

But she's not like the escorts around the room, which are free for use by any of the men who want them. No, that woman... She carries he sophistication of a woman who was raised with money and not meant to entertain the men around her, like the others, poor things, much akin to a pig in a dress.

She's in the big boy leagues. If nothing else, he could tell from her outfit, a dress that has to have cost thousands of dollars, gold jewelry and make-up a plenty... But there's also the fact she has her own advisor standing behind her, one he recognized from many of these events in the past, though the name escapes him.

"That one-" Incardo murmurs and uses his chin to gesture toward her vaguely, bringing his glass of red wine up to his mouth.

Amarion glances over to the woman Incardo pointed out. "That's... Tony DeLuca's daughter, I believe."

"Ah." Incardo tuts in acknowledgment and nods his head. "Sure doesn't look it."

"Takes after her mother." Amarion replies as he looks between the brunette and Incardo. "Not a concern for us. Have no business to conduct with them. She's just here representing her old man."

"Hm..." Incardo murmurs and nods, pondering the sight of the pretty woman that kept playing Blackjack with the men around her. Japanese on one side, Russian on the other, and another Italian, from a rival family, further down the table.

He noticed how her eyes, surrounded by sparkly make-up, green and bright, shifty and vixen-like moved about the table, noting everyone's expressions, noting the dealer's movements... Watched everyone receive their new cards.

And then she suddenly bets big, pushing her own pile of chips forward, straightening her back, her eyes catching the other men's... None of them backed out. They never did...

So, as they flipped the cards over and she showed her hand, the men around the table immediately groaned and 'tsked'. "Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen." She announced. "Better luck next time, ah?" She teased them and smiled broadly.

Then, she got up and leaned forward, wrapping her slender arms around the stacks of chips and bringing them toward her seat, a satisfied, smug smirk on her plump, shiny lips.

She turned to her consigliere, an older man with grey hair that he'd seen accompany her father and her brothers to events like this before, and gestured vaguely for him to keep her chips.

Then, she slipped out of her stool and crossed the room toward the bar. Incardo saw his opportunity in it. He kept looking at her, eyes locked on her, her body, her smooth skin, her polished red-bottom heels...

Once she turned away from the bar with a drink in hand, he was surprised to find her with a couple of lowball glasses with a yellow-ish liquid in it. Amaretto, most likely, if he knew his Italian alcohol well.

She returned to her consigliere and offered one of the drinks to him, who gave her an almost paternal look, as if implying 'Are you trying to get me drunk?'. She returned an impish smile, which caused the man to sigh and take it, before thanking her with a reverential nod of his head.

The consigliere's brown eyes then slid over to Incardo, finding him sitting and staring at them. At her. Leaning his head down, he spoke softly to the young mafia princess and she turned to look over her bare shoulder at him.

She raised her drink in an act of greeting and cheers, from a distance, and he returned the gesture with his own glass of wine. He watched her take a sip of her drink, eyes still locked on him, from the corner of her eye.

After he watched her take her drink, Incardo glanced at the blonde currently on his lap and waved her off. And then, with his newly freed hand he beckoned the young DeLuca girl closer.

The brunette nodded and approached, coming to stand across from him, her pointy louboutin pumps barely an inch away from his own polished dress shoes.

He sits with his thighs parted in a position of pure and absolute power, a smirk on his lips, tugging his left corner upward as he gives a once over, pleased that the pretty thing is submissive enough to come when called, like a good pup.

Incardo raises his hand, presenting the back of it and his fingers to her, a silent demand for her to show reverence and respect. 'Kiss my hand, little one, show everyone that although you're pretending to be a big girl, you're playing second fiddle to us all, especially me'.

Her green hued eyes slide down from his face, across his arm and down to the hand he was presenting to him. A thick gold ring with a large octagon cut purple musgravite embedded in the middle.

She recognized it for what it was. Nothing but a stupid test, a ball measuring contest, if you will, trying to see who had the biggest pair. Even if she couldn't see it, she could feel all eyes on the two of them. And, oh, Gianna was about to make him look bad.

She handed her drink over to her consigliere, then, took Incardo's hand carefully with both of hers, with all the reverence in the world as she raised it toward her mouth, her eyes locked on his brown ones, eyebrows set down over her eyelids, intense and bold...

But then, before his hand was even within range to kiss his ring, she lifted it, like she was about to perform a little twirl for him under his outstretched arm, and used it as a crutch to sit down beside him, leaning back on the couch, crossing her legs, her foot brushing against one of his pant legs.

Everyone else also watching seems to freeze in shock, the room having suddenly gone silent to witness the power play performed by her, happening live before them.

Incardo watched her take her seat boldly, without so much as a greeting, let alone an invitation, then, the corner of his lip rose higher, a sadistic smirk took over his mouth and he licked his lips, amused by the little girl beside him.

Incardo waves off his second-in-command from the armchair beside them, a silent dismissal, to be alone with her... Her consigliere also makes himself scarce, but not before returning her drink glass to her. That drives everyone else in the room to go back to their previous conversations.

"You're either bold or stupid, Ms. DeLuca." The man tells her, murmuring near her ear, an arm already snaking to wrap around the small of her back, coming to rest on the side of her waist, already digging in.

Gianna leans into him and dips her head to the side, nearly setting it on his shoulder, so she can look him in the eyes properly. "Not stupid in any way, I guarantee you, Mr. Lozada." She murmurs in reply, eyes sparkling in the low light, as she takes a sip of her amaretto sour.

"I know... Saw that little play of yours in the blackjack table... Counting cards is illegal, don't you know?" He teases her, almost like he's poking about in her mind, trying to see what makes her tick, what might embarrass her or upset her, and give him control.

"I wasn't counting cards... I'm just very observant... and good at guessing." Gianna lies as she looks right into his eyes, not even flinching or trembling or hesitating, a smug smirk on her plump lips.

"Just like I guessed you'd appreciate me not being a little sheep for you." She slid her free hand over his thigh, before she slid it up over his forearm, down his wrist, and onto his hand, her perfectly-manicured fingernail grazing his musgravite ring.

"So you're just a gambler, are you, doll?" Incardo teases, his hand sliding down from her waist, grazing her hip and onto her thigh, feeling the warmth of her skin through the slit in the cream-colored skirt of her dress.

"Could say that..." Gianna murmurs as she takes a sip of her drink again, biting the straw with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"How about a wager then, just the two of us?" Incardo teases her, his fingers digging onto the skin of her thigh, causing her to shiver ever so slightly.

"What would this wager of yours..." She replies as she rolls over toward him ever so slightly, her leg crossing over his thigh, wrapped around him like a snake coiling around its prey, her heeled foot rubbing against the inside of his white suit leg. "entail exactly?"

Incardo swallowed down the last sip of his red wine while pulling the young woman closer to his robust chest, her breasts pressing against the side panel of his blazer as he squeezes her closer.

"Just a moment of your time... I'd like to prove how stupid I can make a pretty, young thing like you feel and act." He taunts her, brown eyes locked on her beautiful green ones.

"Oh... Mr. Lozada..." She teases. "No man can make me stupid... But you're welcome to try... It'll be a pleasure to see you fail." She chuckles.

She was bold, confident, maybe too much so. Perhaps it was hubris from her young age, and lack of experience, Incardo was sure of.

But the smug smirk on her lips and the certainty on her voice was irresistible... especially when he knew he could have her mewl and croon under his touch whenever he wanted to.

"I never fail at anything, doll." He murmurs in reply.

"Guess you're going to start now."

"It's almost... adorable how sure you are of that, doll... I'll let you continue being delusional, it suits you..."

Gianna's plump lips simply upturned into an bold, broad smile, flashing him her pearly whites, her canines a bit too pointy... There was a mischievous glint in her green eyes... Like a cat that ate the canary.

Then, she untangled herself from his embrace and got up, but not before purposefully and slowly spilling her drink all the way down the front of his 3-piece suit, staining it with the bright yellow liquid.

He didn't react, he tried not to, at least, though his eyes told her directly that she was going to be taught a lesson sooner rather than later...

But she purposefully kissed the air at him and then turned and strutted off, disappearing beyond the doors leading to the large penthouse balcony outside.

And, for the first time in his life, Incardo got up from his seat and gave chase.

That's how they ended up tangled in each other. Each other's web, each other's arms, each other's beds.

As the sun set outside, bathing the balcony in hues of orange, shining off her dress, off her make-up, off their polished shoes...

Her legs hooked on each of his forearms, spread as wide as possible to allow his hip to fit between them, her arms wrapped around the back of his neck, fingers digging into his scalp amidst his long black hair...

She moaned and whined, her head rubbing back on the ivy-covered trellis wall that decorated the patio, her back definitely getting marks of the diamond-shaped wooden trellis behind her.

His fingers dug into the meat of her ass, squeezing and holding her up in his arms, his dick bullying into her slick, greedy cunt with each snap of his hips.

Incardo was still perfectly composed, his tie in place, his vest buttoned, although the blazer wasn't, his pants still fastened by the belt around his hip...

Were it not for the way he was grunting and huffing from a mix of pleasure and the mix of stamina + physical strength to continue holding her, nobody would guess he was even having primal sex with a girl half his age.

Meanwhile, he was definitely making a mess of her, Gianna's hair was wild, her lips parted, her eyes heavy and hooded, her dress rolled up as far as can go, her long, tan legs fully on display for anyone who looked their way...

But people in this world knew better than to pry.

So what if the 25-year-old daughter of Tony DeLuca, the biggest mobster in Jersey was currently being fucked silly by the 50-year-old boss of the empire left behind after Adalardo Dakota Buffonge was murdered?

So what if, before then, she proceeded to emasculate him in front of his peers by refusing to greet him with respect, and by spilling a drink down the front of his suit?

So what if, from here on out, he starts to play with her and her family's business, until she agrees to play nice for him and be the little doll, the little toy, he wants to play with?

So what if, no matter how much he tries, she never does become what he wants?

That doesn't concern anyone but the two of them.

[perfectlullabies]

Dolly Parton, Matthew Modine, & Maynard James Keenan

(4, 6, & 8) ✌️🍀❤️

OH MY MY LET'S SEE

4.

write a book with - dolly !!!!!

read a book to - matthew :'))

hit with a book - maynard (LOVINGLY)

6.

go clothes shopping with - DOLLY, obviously. hours and hours spent in the mall, i imagine

go to ikea with - matthew, idk why i feel like that just suits him for some reason

go grocery shopping with - maynard. we'd buy grapes for his wine lmao

8.

share a car with - maynard, just because ??

share a bank account with - dolly. because we'd both agree on what to spend it on (clothes, manicure etc.)

share a cake with - matthew. i feel like that'd be just so cute

[regular-lord-reckoner]

do you remember growing up in the early 2000s?? what was wild 

like what was that? what did we do? what was happening? how was that possible? 

can u believe i???? 

[jackiekashian]

Dork Forest Cheat Sheet 2022

The votes are in for 2021!

This is a list of Episode Numbers - Guest Name - Dorkdom. I take votes for faves of the year and then add a couple for variety of topics that I really thought were fun. ALL THE EPS have something for someone and are great but here is a starter list if you’re thinking to start listening to TDF and are not a numerologist completest.

Note: show’s been going since 2006 but I’ve only been surveying since 2011.  The show is on all the platforms. Pandora, Spotify, YouTube. Start here if you like: www.dorkforest.com . Standup info and other podcast is at www.jackiekashian.com

2021

TDF EP 611 - Greg Proops - Negro Leagues TDF EP 654 - Jamie Loftus - Chuck E Cheese TDF EP 605 - Tom Papa - Bread TDF EP 627 - Joyelle Johnson - Gone with the Wind TDF EP 652 - Andy Ashcraft - Sandman LARPS TDF EP 626 - Aisha Alfa - Korean Food TDF EP 634 – Heather Tomson – Grey Gardens TDF EP 640 - Brandon Palomo - Pearl Jam TDF EP 620 - Brian Swartz  - M.A.S.H.  TDF EP 642 - Danielle Koenig – CHEERS

TDF EP 646 - Caitlin Gill - Silk Screening Shirts TDF EP 601 – Jenn Welch - Animal Crossing TDF EP 617 - Katie McMillian - Stardew Valley TDF EP 635 – Kate Gaffney – Stevie Wonder TDF EP 651 – Tess Rafferty – Light Murder Mysteries TDF EP 624 - David Rees  - Effects Pedals TDF EP 649 – Ophira Eisenberg – Novels galore TDF EP 644 – Matthew Chadourne – Criterion Collection TDF EP 647 – Jenny Zigrino – Estate Sales TDF EP 628 – Justin Mohareb – Marvel

2020 TDF EP 562 - Guy Branum - Mitford Sisters TDF EP 568 - Maria Bamford - Canadian Reality Shows TDF EP 599 - Jen Kirkman - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 565 - Darla Kashian – COOKING TDF EP 598 - Russ Kashian - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 549 - Tig Notaro – Veganism TDF EP 581 - Jenny Yang - Comfort Food TDF EP 591 - Amber Preston - Church Cookbooks TDF EP 574 - Ron Funches - Call of Duty and Animal Crossing TDF EP 577 - Barbara Holiday - Escape Rooms TDF EP 558 - Sarah Mowrey - Fleetwood Mac TDF EP566 - Matt Kirshen/Myq Kaplan - Advice Columns TDF EP 595 - Kristin Key - Mad Libs TDF EP 576 - Robert Jenkins - Guns and Safety TDF EP 588 - Sofiya Alexandra - Wheel of Time books TDF EP 570- Jim Woster – Columbo TDF EP 573 - Robert Hurt - Babylon 5 TDF EP 550 - Danielle Perez - Mariah Carey TDF EP 583 - Dar Vendegna  - PIckleball TDF SPOILER 3 - Andy & Jackie - Rise of Skywalker

2019 TDF EP 523 Lydia Popovich Dolly Parton TDF EP 511 Auggie Smith Dead Comedians TDF EP 535 Christopher Titus Prince TDF EP 530 Phil Kashian Hitchhiking TDF EP 532 Brian Posehn Heavy Metal TDF EP 549 Tig Notaro Veganism SP1 Endgame Spoiler Dork Out TDF EP 503 Wynter Spears Public Restrooms TDF EP 524 Sara Benincasa Frederick Law Olmstead TDF EP 529 Caitlin Gill Murder She Wrote TDF EP 545 Mary Becquet Chinese Ghosts Vampires TDF EP 525 Matt Oswalt Taking Pictures TDF EP 510 Gary Anthony Williams Birds TDF EP 531 Robert Hurt DS9 TDF EP 547 Thom Tran The Flash TDF EP 540 Brian Jacobovitz Cthulu RPGs TDF EP 515 Judith Stephen CosPlay TDF EP 528 Justin Hermann Heroscape TDF EP 538 Dave Ross Zelda and LINK TDF EP 544 Sharon Houston Netflix British Reality Shows TDF EP 505 Kat Burdick Next Generation TDF EP 509 Michelle Biloon NYT Crossowords

2018 TDF EP 487 Amy Miller - Dolly Parton TDF EP 471 Emma Arnold - BEES TDF EP 499 - Erin Foley - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 481 - Cheryl Jones - Maritime History TDF EP 471 - Andy Ashcraft - GenCon TDF EP 482 - Nato Green - Union Organizing TDF EP 473 - Tamra Brown - Tiki Bars TDF EP 493 - Nina Manni - Air and Hotel Points TDF EP 446 - Carlos Delgado - Great British Bakeoff TDF EP 495 - Alice Wetterlund - Sharks TDF EP 487 - Mark Waid - Superman TDF EP 454 - Open Mike Eagle - Wrestling TDF EP 457 - Jean Grea - Ikea TDF EP 447 - Gariana Abeyta - All Genres have Great Movies

2017 TDF EP 390 - Phil Kashian - LOTR and MY BROTHER TDF EP 422 - Steve Agee  - John Hughes Movies. Weird Science TDF EP 426 - Sara Schaefer - Cross Stitch TDF EP 431 - Jenny Jaffe - Planners. Calendars. Stickers. All the things. TDF EP 405 - Rebecca Sugar - Musicals TDF EP 438 - Jen Briney - freaking CONGRESS TDF EP 423 - Karen Rontowski - Moth Man TDF EP 401 - Jason Hatrick - Scuba diving TDF EP 429 - Kyle Clark - Halloween Theme Parks TDF EP 417 - Nat Towsen - Speed Racer TDF EP 402 - Tyler Hinman - Escape Rooms TDF EP 428 - Solomon Georgio - Black Sitcoms TDF EP 403 - Hal Lublin - Saturday Night Live TDF EP 408 - Al Madrigal - Jack Reacher NOVELS TDF EP 435 - Wyatt Gray - HP Lovecraft TDF EP 442 - Doug Stanhope - getting naked and Leisure Suits TDF EP 404 - Julie Dixson Jackson - Geneology TDF EP 427 - Lisa Allard – Quilting

2016 TDF EP 336 Jim Stewart Allen - Oregon Trail TDF EP 383 Jenny Chalikian – Xena TDF EP 387 Caitlin Gill - Roald Dahl TDF EP 358 Wil Anderson - Cricket TDF EP 359 Heather Simmons - Alice in Wonderland. TDF EP 340 Barbara Holm - Buffy the Vampire Slayer TDF EP 380 Beverly D’Angelo - things that Change your Life - Music, Places TDF EP 366 Karen Rontowski - Tarot Cards TDF EP 373 Stu Goldsmith - Boardgames with a STORY TDF EP 364 Maria Bamford LIVE at JFL Montreal (Bandcamp) 2016 I really liked: TDF EP 385 Jenny Zigrino - Authentic Historical Costuming TDF EP 347 Riley Silverman - The Potato. Mostly Frozen. TDF EP 355 Ivan Van Norman/Andy Ashcraft - Zombies & pen/paper games TDF EP 341 Cathy Ladman - Knitting TDF EP 349 Moon Zappa - The BIG questions TDF EP 368 Martha Kelly - Law and Order SVU TDF EP 367 Phil Johnson - Pirates TDF EP 362 Rory Scovel - Golf (quietly clap) TDF EP 339 Sovereign Syre - Spanish Invasion of Florida. TDF EP 348 Dash Kwiatkowski - Superman TDF EP 338 TJ Chambers - Chess TDF EP 379 Michelle Thaller – SPACE! LIVE DC Drafthouse (Bandcamp)

2015 TDF EP 303 Matt Saxe – all Vice Presidents. TDF EP 298 Jason Klamm – Vice Presidents and Lego! TDF EP 312 Greg Proops at LA Podfest – 70s Movies TDF EP 320 Wil Wheaton – BEER and Boardgames TDF EP 287 Michelle McNamara – Robert Durst and more True Crime TDF EP 294 Retta – Purses. Handbags TDF EP 323 Chez Amanda – Xfiles. Finally. TDF EP 310 David Koechner – History dork! TDF EP 268 Tammy Pescatelli – Thrift stores and Vampires TDF EP 279 Brian Kiley – Presidential Biographic Minutia TDF EP 285 Ian Abramson – McDonald’s Land TDF EP 316 Breanna Conley – Old time Photo Booth collecting 2015 another 12 that I picked: TDF EP 329 Robert Hurt – Space Ships TDF EP 321 Ryan Stout – Injustice. AS USUAL. TDF EP 324 Suzy Soro – Ghosts. TDF EP 313 Danielle Radford – great “bad” movies TDF EP 305 Murray Valeriano & Monty Franklin – Surfin. TDF EP 269 Christian Brown, Roselle Hurley and Andy Ashcraft - LARPing TDF EP 271 Bridget Everett - Barry Manilow, Richard Simmons & Rudy TDF EP 273 Sean Crespo – DUNE TDF EP 284 Brian Upton - history and aesthetics of gaming TDF EP 293 Live at Bridgetown Branum, Kilgariff and Preston (Bandcamp) TDF EP 300 Amy Shira Teitel – SPACE TDF EP 325 Gail Carriger Live in SF – Anglophile. (Bandcamp)

2014 TDF EP 259 – Laraine Newman - Dubstep TDF EP 245 – Brittnee Braun - Cosplay TDF EP 249 – Brian Regan – Line Mentality TDF EP 215 – Robert Hack – Doctor Who TDF EP 264 – Joseph Scrimshaw – Star War Prequels TDF EP 227 – Emily Gordon – Breakfast around the world TDF EP 239 – Rhea Butcher – Back to the Future Movies TDF EP 260 – Jimmy Pardo – Chicago (the band) TDF EP210 – Corey Olsen – Tolkien TDF EP 258 – Emily Heller – ESM & HS Debate

2013 TDF EP 177 - Greg Proops - Ancient History TDF EP 172 – Janeane/Bamford - Beading/SuzeOrman TDF EP198 – Live Podfest w Kilgariff/Bamford/Anthony/Valeriano - Salad TDF EP 189 – Moshe Kasher - Religion TDF EP 199 – Michelle McNamara - True Crime TDF EP 203 – Ryan Stout - Traffic Court

TDF EP 150 – Gina Yashere - Ghosts/Elevators TDF EP 151 – Craig Shoemaker - Wizard of Oz TDF EP 207 –  Matt Mira - James Bond TDF EP 167 – David Huntsberger - Horses TDF EP 200 –  Andy Peters/Mike Schmidt - Wrestling TDF EP 190 –  Cameron Esposito - Lesbians TDF EP 202 –  Matt Weinhold/Dana Gould/ Shawn Sheridan - Halloween

2012 TDF EP 129 – Live with Michelle McNamara (True Crime) TDF EP 111 – Jim Gaffigan (obscure news personality) TDF EP 117 – Corey Olsen (TolkienProf) TDF EP 142 – Live with Retta, Rajskub, Kilmartin and Scovel TDF EP 94 – Mary Jo Pehl (reading and writing and more reading) TDF EP 133 – Kira Soltonovich (Korean Spas) TDF EP 113 – Jesse Schell and Andy Ashcraft (oh. Video Games) TDF EP 98 – Henry Phillips and Mike Phirman (Guitar Comedy and Music) TDF EP 139 – Joel Hodgson (ventriloquism) TDF EP 93 – Live with Ernie Cline (the 80s and Ready Player One) TDF EP 102 – Dan Telfer (Dinosaurs and science in general) TDF EP 108 – Al Madrigal (Sales and Cartoons) TDF EP 148 – Guy Branum - Canada TDF EP 95 – Live with Kevin Eastman (ninja turtles) TDF EP 97 – Rose Abdoo and John Matta (tiny tiny ART! And The Thing) TDF EP 99 – Asterios Kokkinos (Pokemon) TDF EP 100 – PF Wilson – (history of the various football leagues) TDF EP 103 – Live with Andy Kindler (“indie” comic books) TDF EP 104 – Merrill Markoe (I feel like we talked dogs mostly) TDF EP 110 – Patrick Brady (animation)   TDF EP 120 – Erin Foley (NY Giants) TDF EP 121 – Tom Franck (Art) TDF EP 130 – Lois McMaster Bujold (I dork out AT her. She talks writing) TDF EP 138 – Michael Everson (coding fonts for obscure languages)

2011 # 55 Greg Proops – Making Baseball interesting           # 67 Hardwick/Palascak – Harry Potter                       # 37 Karen Kilgariff  - Sandra Bullock                         # 16 Dana Gould – Planet of the Apes                         # 48 Aisha Tyler – girl on girl fandom                         # 24 Jen Kirkman/ Karen Rontowksi – ghosts/UFO                 # 49 Dana/James - HOLLYWOOD                               # 40 April/Vargus – TRIP TO MIDDLE EAST                                                   # 3 Madigan/Kilmartin – the KENNEDY’S #42 Maile Flanagan/Yuri Lowenthal - Animation #50 Michelle McNamara – True Crime #30 Ed Brubaker / Kermet Apio – Comics #14 Thrilling Adventure Hour – so many things Origin Story – #69 Andy Origin Story - #71 Maria #73 Rich Sommer – Mad Men and Boardgames #77 Matt Weinhold/Ken Daly – Horror Movies #82 Chad Daniels/David Huntsberger – just hilarious #80 Bengt Washburn – Fine art #51 Andrew Solmssen - IT #28 Eric Drysdale - VIEWMASTER #58 Bees – uh, BEES #63 Perfume – and, PERFUME #44 Jim Coughlin – A4 Paper #91 Trains!    

NOTE Premium eps w/o iTunes: Here’s how to download albums from Bandcamp:

1.    Download the .zip file from Bandcamp. 2.    Unzip the file to your Music folder. 3.    Rescan your Music folder. 4.    Open the music app and listen to your tunes.

[yawpyawp]

hhhh i have SO MANY big furniture-ish purchases that i wanna make (new bed, new couch, new mattress, new drafting table, new wide format printer), and i wanna spread it out for my own sanity and for the sake of my bank account, but also if i want to hire Dolly or someone to haul away my old furniture (which i v much want to do bc i cannot get that stuff out of here on my own), it’ll cost at least $450 per trip, but to do it all in one is like $700 so like...

i should prolly just hire some dudes to come cart away my bed and couch at the same time, right? both are in dire need of replacement so...

but also idk what to do about my bed cuz the bed itself is terrible and needs to be replaced, but it’s one of those ikea ones and a couple years ago i bought the matching headboard that goes with only that bed, and the headboard is in great condition?? like do i get rid of it?? try to do an ikea hack and use it in another way??

(and then, i have a set of really nice dressers at my patents’ house just hangin out in my childhood bedroom, so like i really wanna pay Dolly the $350 to bring those here too)