#ill buy one for myself soon tho hehe

[unripe-lemon]

Since i know no one will see this:

1 note and i will email my therapist

ok so for this one,, like since then i have emailed my therapist?? that counts right????? tbh i dont even know what to talk abt anymore, but i do have a session with her so dw

2 notes and ill put my laundry away

ugh….. stupid. internet.. making me do things that will make my life easier…. gugh yeah i put my laundry away!!!!! everyone clap now

5 notes and ill try to brush my teeth more often

ok so like for this one i found this video https://youtu.be/pvutTiPY7q8?si=PASnBmUXZ0xiHzWM imma sing this song to myself every tike i dont feel like brushing my teeth

6 notes and ill try to put on cream for my dermatitis (anxiety hives!!! yayyy!!!!) more often

just did it hehe :) tho it is getting a little worse and my kitten scratched me on top of it 😭

10 notes and ill attempt to learn my timestables

11 notes and ill study for my exams

my exams are over!!!! so idk what to do for this one? maybe ill go do my homework instead

20 notes and ill try to go one day without using my pc/phone

30 notes and ill vaccum (more bc we just adopted kittens) my room entirely

40 notes and ill try to explain my depression to my mom again

50 notes and ill clean my locker out at school

imma do this tmr!!!

i forgot 😭 someone remind me

80 notes and ill fix the posters that are falling off of my wall and are probably going to rip soon

doing this rn! taking dinner break

100 notes and ill REALLY unpack everything with my therapist

maybe tmr?

we talked about medication and kittens, also exams so like success??

200 notes and ill ask my mom if we can go to my go and get! me! medicated!

ill discuss w therapist tmr

discussed with therapist, we are now getting the conversation started with my mom and are going to see what my gp says after that!! :) ty to everyone in the notes rooting for meds

300 notes and ill re organise my bookshelf

400 notes and ill clean all of the mold off of my wall

damn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ion wannaaaaaaaa

this is a weekend activity tbh, and idk if its even going to BE this weekend :P

500 notes and ill clean the mold off of my roof

600 notes and ill try sewing some new clothes

i crocheted a scarf!!! does that count?

700 notes and ill buy some new shoes

800 notes and ill check out dnd club at school (im scared)

900 notes and ill come up with more goals

edit: bro……. 😭

so im gonna take my time w these bc there is a lot to go thru!! i will try my best to remember to update!!! ty for notes :)

- random internet stranger

edit 2: WTF 1000 NOTES GUYS CHILL

ok so like i have to come up with more goals now???

1500 and ill start taking study notes with a study method (rb with study method that is your fav eg cornell method)

1700 and ill attempt to hype myself up enough to eat at school (long story, germs)

2000 notes and ill start whatever book wins this poll:

[chiyoso]

I HONESTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE SO MUCH GREETINGS THAT ITS OVERWHELMING ME TO THE POINT WHERE IM GUSHING WITH SO MUCH JOY ??????????????

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVELY AND UPLIFTING WORDS

i thought my birthday was going to be dull this year with all the whole pandemic, getting sick thing and burnout shinanigans — but creating a growing community... was one of the best decisions i have done in my whole nineteen years worth of choices to do. i love you all, so so much. strangers we might be, acquaintances from afar, friends from behind the screen — it doesn't matter, kindness goes far beyond through each word we speak.

and all of your words have reached me. (cough your lie in april reference without the dying)

this is my first time letting out media of my adventures and personal life, but yesterday was such a special day and i plan to do more today (birthdays over here typically last a few more days since only a day of celebration isnt really enough, depends on the person/environment though 🤭)

Chocolate Taiyaki Strawberry Pocky Pork Katsudon

Mochi Ice Cream Wendys Coffee

ME AND GOJO MERCH I BOUGHT HEHE

(will buy genshin impact birthday gifts for myself)

the name of the restaurant on the right reminded me of lyney, scara and me.

i will not elaborate further.

(also why am i so good at taking pics)

hehe. once again, thank you all so much for the support, i've been planning mentally so much that perhaps i just needed a little break from writing (the sickness and my bday proved a very nice break for me)

writing things

cynosure's ascendance

• i have no idea if people still remember this series of mine, but i do remember starting it out of desire to create a character of lust, battle and trauma and laying it bare for the xianzhou luofu to witness (cough jing yuan) so this series WILL be continued out of self interest

the mara's will

• the direction of this series will take a dark turn. it wont all be happy, but since its inspired by honkai impact... you're going to see more of powerful reader, and come to me in inbox, should i refer to old gods as herrschers? make this timeline where the universe of star rail will be tested by the imaginary tree's schemes and threaten to fall it towards the sea of quanta? i primarily have a good understanding of the whole imaginary tree thing, and i can see it applies to hyv games, thus leading me to the question of — are all connected somehow? (hsr welt's from hi3 after all)

• so yeah! i'm just conflicted as to what direction ill lead tmw with, so please, indulge me with your ideas and help me make sense of the timeline for it.

• (option 1) star rail, a universe that fought off the very, very ancient forces of what people of the infinitely old called honkai, and since the eradication of the ancient forces, they have been thriving ever since, hence the start of new technologies combined with long forgotten ones (previous era combined with stellar resources today) but all had forgotten about them in the process, them being the houkai, and the imaginary tree will soon test this 'bubble universe' (hsr) because simply; it is its law, it is its nature.

• (option 2) no bubble universes, no honkai impact timeline, just hsr itself with elements INSPIRED by the game

• (option 3) come to me! (told you im so conflicted hehe)

stellar chasm

• nngh im making a few ppl wait with this series, but trust me, i'm just studying and playing honkai impact to get a better grasp of hi3 abilities, how herrschers work, the lore and etc. and i honestly really want to involve durandal in mc's progress, we all know durandal is so fucking, so damn strong to the point where she can hold off kevin (im in that part or after so i have no clue if something happens to her, PLEASE DONT SPOIL ME THO) so yeah! i have already an idea as to how will mc will become a herrscher + getting the divine key abyss flower 😌 juuust... let me study more of hi3 🥹 also i have kind of scrapped the HoV personality? i'm going for an eden but more flirty, sensual (not purposely) type — that's all i'm spoiling!

i have 4 upcoming fics as well!

• It starts with a glance (Neuvillette, dark content)

• For you, Ma Moitie (Neuvillette oneshot)

• Neuvillette, your colleague (Headcannons)

• follower milestone with self aware!blade

that's all for now! once again, thank you all and LOVELY PROSPEROUS DAYS TO ALL OF YOU

love,

hiraeth

[honeylovecult]

ahhh 😌

[nad-zeta]

Match up! (◠‿◠✿)

hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞

bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!

i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!

sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.

a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.

hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs

oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((

some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.

some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.

tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞

Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x

 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide

The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 

Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.

It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 

You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.

All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 

Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.

Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 

This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 

He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.

The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 

You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”

The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 

Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 

This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky

Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.

Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.

Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 

Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.

Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day! 

[dernise520]

It has been sometime since i last blogged. Was too tired to do anything else nowadays. 😵

Anyway it has been a tiring week, and its gonna be the weekends soon again and then holiday soon! Long awaited holiday. I really need a massage badly, my body is aching so so badly. New phone is amazing, so far so good. Waiting for my phone covers to arrive & prolly go get the screen protector when in JB cos its cheap anyway.

Gotten a new tote bag. Miffy! Thanks alot hubs. So many other miffy things i wanna get, but just controlling myself. Need tobsave save save. But next up is my hair,hair is must do one. Bopian. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ohyah. Changed the train ticket timings on the 19th cos reckon getting our new house unit booked is more important. Hehe. Tmrw ill be meeting mich & PL sighs. I dont know why im not looking forward,ill surely be affected someway or another, we shall see eh. Meeting PP in april too, shes kpkb that ive gone MIA too lkng from her. Another friend is asking to meet me too, but im just too tired. I need to rest. Ohya she asked if me and him are gonna attend the friend wedding in oct, if im not wrong falls on his bday, but i said, didnt hear anything yet so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Got an unexpected text msg as well. Er all i can say is let begones be begones. Another check on myself, everything going okay so far? I would say so far still okayy. Keeping my fingers crossed . 🤞🏻 its not that im not thinking,but i just shut myself from thinking. Like they all say, if things were to happen, itll happen no matter what you do. So yupp.

Will be doing my last hair dye in JB before my hair stylist goes back to his hometown 😭😭, then it would a salon in sg for my upcoming hair treatment. Heng the price still reasonable, just the waiting time tho. 😦

So many ppl at work have been commenting bout my figure, good vibes actually, but im alr at a state i feel fugly so even complimenting me wouldnt do any good. I cant seem to see any good in myself ley , despite good comments. I guess i really got hurt eh. And it sometimes bring me back to the past like, why is it other people that take note of me, or compliment me or think im gpod enough or 'if im their partner, they'll be proud of me', but why didnt he think i was good enough back then? And fhat he needed more to be more visually satisfied? 😔😪☹😟 really painful to go through so much and even more when lately the laat time i suddenly recall that he even hesistated if he wanted this marriage, and he said he didnt wanna make a rush decision.

So then i ask now, if you could choose again and i wasnt preg, wohld you still wanna marry me?

And when you needed to tell all your friends that you were getting married, were you ashamed when you had to tell your friends that im divorced and 2 kids so you have to buy a 7 seater bopian? And that i had tattoos? And their remarks were unexpected of you to choose someone like that , did it dawn upom you that shit. You regret it? And when they asked if your parents were okay, your reply was, accept lor. But to me you phrased it totally different? To me you said no matter what, its your choice and you choose to marry me. And you also said dont look down on myself, so what if i have kids? But you didnt phrase it like that when you were texting with your friends right? So why?

Im just wondering. Did you regret any of this? If you could turn back the hands of time, would it be me again, really? Like you once said. I wished i knew the answer from the bottom of your heart.....