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#i hope everyone is doing well and are healthy (:
bixels · 9 months
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
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Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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angelnumber27 · 3 months
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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osamusriceballs · 10 months
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The Accident - Part VI
Atsumu x fem Reader
Warnings: None
Words: ~ 1,1 k
About: The flashback ends- but what will you do next?
Part I II -> Next Part
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"You're not getting married."
Osamu's sharp remark did not have the intended effect. Both of you were still clinging to each other, acting all lovey-dovey.
"Samuu, you don't understand. She's my soulmate. I love her." Osamu's eyes almost popped out of their sockets while he kept watching how you two clung to each other and smiled like idiots, your hand on his cheek after he had said these words.
"You don't even know her. And stop touching her like that in public."
Atsumu's hands started wandering on your back, his fingertips teasing the bare skin on your back much to your delight - but to Osamu's horror.
"I don't mind - but who are you?" You turned towards him, and he paused for a second. You were beautiful, that much was certain. Shiny eyes, glossy lips, and a dress that looked like it had been made for you - but he quickly discarded every thought about your looks when he knew that he needed to stop this nonsense.
"I'm Osamu Miya. His brother."
"Oh." Your eyes widened as you took in his appearance, probably only then realizing how similar he looked to the man whose lap you were currently sitting on.
"Samu, we gotta go. The barkeeper told us that there's a priest next to this club."
"You're not getting married."
No matter how many times he repeated the sentence, it seemed like Atsumu was unable to understand.
xxxxxx
"And then you convinced me to get your car to drive us home. Wouldn't stop bickerin' about how it's expensive and designer and about how it costs more than Onigiri Miya will ever make. I'll definitely kick your ass for that."
A muscle under Osamu's eye twitches when he mentions the comment, and you have to hold back a snort at this. He's kind of cute when he's angry.
"And then?"
"You were gone. Found ya at the church, but it was too late. You idiots already signed the contract."
You slowly step back until your knees reach the bed, and you heavily sink down on it. It feels like he's telling you a story right out of a movie, not something that has happened just a few hours ago, the whole thing still too absurd and unreal.
"Can we redeem it?" You look at Osamu, like he's the only one that can save you now, and he somehow actually is. You still have hope that you can get out of this without negatively impacting the rest of your life.
"I've talked to our lawyer. It's a waterproof contract. Very surprising because the church was more than just a bit shady. You're both bound for a year until ya can file for divorce." His words feel like a death sentence, and you find yourself at a loss for words. You gulp at his words, blinking a few times to suppress your tears. You're an idiot—an idiot for getting in a situation like this.
It's silent.
You don't dare to look at either of them, your gaze only focused on the phone in your hands, and every passing second makes you feel even more uncomfortable, until you can't stand the silence anymore.
"I'll get going."
You stiffly get on your feet, your movements robotic and lifeless while you make an attempt to leave, but you're quick to get stopped by Atsumu before you can even make more than getting up. "Wait- I- I don't even have yer number!"
"Oh." You pause, standing there for a few moments while you watch Atsumu getting closer to you, until there is not much space left between the two of you when he stands right in front of you. "Hey- are you okay?" Concern laces his voice while he looks down at you, and you manage to nod with a forced smile. "Peachy."
Osamu snorts at your comment and shakes his head, a movement that you barely see in the corner of your eyes. He probably feels guilty for the whole situation too, the dark cicles under his eyes similar to Atsumu's, certainly because he tried to find a solution for this and did not sleep at all during the night. "People who say 'peachy' are anything but fine."
"Hey, look at me." Atsumu ignores his brother's comment and brings his hand to your cheek. You're startled but allow him to turn your face upwards until your eyes lock. "I'm not letting ya go when ya can't even walk properly. You'll eat something, then you'll take a nice hot shower and get in some clean clothes and then I'll bring ya home. That alright with you?" There is something about the way he softly states the words that sends a comforting wave of warmth through your body, and you find yourself nodding and trusting him.
"Hmm. Good girl. Now just eat the rest of the fries while Samu gets ya some clothes. Right, Samu?" Atsumu breaks the eye contact with you to look sharply at Osamu, who only sighs and nods. "I saw a souvenir shop at the lobby. Better than nothin'." You now look at Atsumu's side-profile, admiring his sharp jaw line, unable to do something else but wondering if there is even one bad angle on this perfect man, while Osamu leaves the room with another deep sigh.
"Shouldn't I have given him some money?" You take a deep breath and wipe your hands on your dress, noticing how clammy they got. Probably a side-effect of the nervousness.
Atsumu snorts and returns his gaze to you, an amused smile on his lips. "That serves him right. He always brags about how much he makes with his stupid restaurant." Atsumu looks so similar to Osamu when he rolls his eyes; it's almost comical. "Don't tell him I said that, but he really makes the best food ever. I'll take ya there and show you."
You hum approvingly, feeling somewhat a tingle run down your spine at the prospect of him taking you out for dinner but try to ignore it. "C'mon. Eat the rest of the fries. I saw how ya inhaled them. You can have mine too." He grins, something that makes him seem absolutely adorable, and you find yourself smiling back at him, a warm feeling running through your body.
"I'm not hungry anymore. I'll take a shower then?" You questioningly raise your brows, and he nods. "Yeah, of course. When Samu comes back, I'll put the clothes in front of the bathroom."
Thank you," you raise your hand as if to pat his shoulder, but you halt the movement just before reaching him. You shouldn't touch him. Technically, you don't even know him. His gaze flickers to your hand, and he appears to consider taking it. However, he quickly steps to the side, giving you some space to move to the bathroom.
Without looking back at him, you close the bathroom door, take a deep breath, and glance at the phone in your hand. You scroll until you find the picture of a bright-haired person—
and decide to finally make a call.
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her-canine-teeth · 6 months
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bad astrology by flower face
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED#what do I do now. with my life (ranking)#also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em#literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me#<- guys look im living so healthy#anyways this was a blast#hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists#mitos incredible life#mine art tag#also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there#ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always)#and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead'#(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor))#which was. restricting. very much#also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th#ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.)#anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water#bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat#probably#omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen#recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt#that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose#gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay#no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing#ive wanted to do smth similiar alr#but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poem‚ a painting or a play)#but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think#jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water
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nilovalentine · 1 year
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I'm voting amane guilty but some ppl voting her guilty are being so mean about it it almost makes me wanna switch to the inno side ngl
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bibleofficial · 30 days
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guess who had fucking pesto w their most DARLING NUT THAT THEYRE FUCKING ALLERGIC TO
#stream#‘i was like what the fuck is in this ?’ ‘this is the only thing in this ? it’s supposed to be normal pesto basil ?’ NOPE#ITS FUCKING CASHEWS AND PESTO#IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF#literally i was hitting my#just used the fucking epipen if i vomit i vomit but i would rather not#inhaler like is this why my throat is closing up ??? like NO ???? bc then i was sweating like ok … i see what’s happening#maybe i’ll just take like a few benadryl i’ll see if im allowed to do that#I FOUND 3 BLESS#so i’ve taken 3 benadryl + the epipen i should probably just take another allegra bc im only taking 120mg here#i’m determined to not vomit#it’s so fucking annoying#I HATE MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE#I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HEALTHY FOR ONCE#I HATE EVERYONE WHO EATS CASHEWS WHY DO YALL PUT IT IN FUCKING EVERYTHING WHO ASKED FOR THIS#everyday i pray we get cricket protein like pls anyone just put crickets into thinks im BEGGING#unrelated but#i’m#strongly considering getting several boxes of crickets from the pet store then just releasing them here on my accom bc i hate them#so much#like i’m fully not even going to tell them abt the mouse that fucking broke into my cupboard like i saw it today she has shit EVERYWHERE &#am sayin good for her bc yall know damn well that i did not fucking vacuum those lentils or nothing up she deserves a snack bc i even saw#her lil tail on the side of my window earlier like she’s so damn cute i know ur there sweetheart ❤️❤️❤️❤️#i hope she never dies
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your tags on parenting make me super emotional <3 that's exactly the kind of parent I want to be one day
Thanks! I feel the same way honestly. I have a lot of opinions about parenting and I can't say that I will be the perfect parent because that doesn't exist. I can't even say that my hypothetical future kid/kids will be perfect because children don't grow in a vacuum. I can only control what I do and say and try to be the best version of myself and hope for the best.
#i often hear people say that involved parenting is too difficult to be realistic or that modeling behavior is too hard#and yeah. yeah it is. it is one of the most difficult things a person can do. but who the fuck has a kid thinking it'll be easy?#kids are hard work and commitment. they should never be something done on a whim. you should never half ass raising a kid#and not to say that people should be perfect all the time or that people shouldn't have 'me' time#its just that i genuinely don't understand people who shove their kid into as many activities as possible to get away from them#or put all their hopes and dreams and expectations on them. if it's so easy and attainable to live up to your expectations as a parent#then do it first. you want your kid to have straight A's? great. show me your report card at that age#im just... kids are just people. and they just want to hang out with their parents and receive love and attention#and anyway ive lost my point im just very passionate about this topic#very passionate#when im older and financially stable I want to foster teenagers i think. i want to be there for them and model healthy adult behavior#and help them make that transition. i want to be that person for them. because everyone needs help and love and family#and honestly? my parents fostered kids my entire life. THEY MODELED THAT BEHAVIOR#i understand that family is not a given. i understand that family is above all else forged. and that applies to everyone#not just found family or fostering. if you don't know your bio child then can you really call yourself family?#family is *forged* regardless of the context. and if it isn't? if you skip that step with your bio kids? well thats a major fucking issue#anyway nothing but respect for my parents who bought groceries for my foster sister when she was out of care. FOR MONTHS#nothing but respect for my parents who took me with them to give my foster sister their old stroller when she needed it#nothing but respect for my parents who take in my old foster brother every weekend to 'babysit' because they know he isnt in a loving house#nothing but respect for my parents who adopted my siblings without a word when they asked#honestly they are why i am who i am today. i was a kid with adhd and learning disabilities who hated school#and now I'm an honors student and getting my doctorate. because they did the academia with me#and im not saying they did my schoolwork. im saying that they assigned books to read over the summer and we would read them as a family#and we would discuss the literary concepts and themes together as a family. i love dissecting media! and thats because of my parents!#it was a family activity! same goes for science and art and music#and coding and history ect ect#anyway im going off on a tangent but basically what im saying is that my parents didn't ship me off to camp every summer#we just did things as a family together. i remember the time and bonding with them. and i modeled that behavior#and not to brag but i think I turned out alright#anyway tangent over!
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cuteniaarts · 6 months
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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actual photo of me, mirrored:
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but fr tho my cervical issues are so fucking annoying. they got better after i started wearing braces and fixing my overbite. at least, the nerve area around my ear doesn't get pinched in a way my whole arm gets numb anymore, that's a major progress finally i can play vidya whole day again but other than that, i can literally show this screenshot when asked "how are you doing?" in regards to my neck pain. literally shows every area on my face that is numb, inflamed, tickles, itches, contracts, and hurts all the time. it's so annoying and what i hate about it the most is how it affects my hearing and probably also contributes to the brain fog in one way or another idk high chances that my arteries got pinched too and my brain literally doesn't get enough oxygen, but i still haven't done tests to confirm that
on top of that, a dumb habit that i should cease for good is sitting on my legs up to 10 hours a day because it got to the point that i fucked them up so bad, i ended up constantly pulling them in my sleep and waking up from the pain worse than when i had my bone tissue drilled through with minimal anesthesia. like holy shit i used to be scared of dentists because i considered pain from getting my teeth drilled through the worst, but nope it's not, it's so fucking far from what a stiff body with a lifestyle like mine can go through
on the brighter side, daily yoga seems to be cancelling two decades of my dumbfuckery pretty quickly. more so, i manage to reach spots that i couldn't reach ever in my life before. this actually really excites me, because it shatters the concept of being "too late" for changing things that one was supposed to take care of earlier. i also have been approaching my whole life from a different, more philosophical perspective for last few years and every hardship i go through seems like a challenge these days.
i don't think i'm truly suffering like i used to anymore, at all. i may seem like i do, every time i rant or vent, because on a surface level it looks the same as before. but to me, a really thick, miserable layer of suffering that used to make me feel like i'm poisoned, imprisoned in this existence, locked in my body, forsaken and ultimately defeated, for long years and decades, is gone. venting doesn't make me feel worse, quite the other way round; it makes me feel like i'm embracing hardships, processing them, rather than avoiding, denying, and running away from them. funny how therapy and psychiatry was taking healing away from me this whole time, heh. instead i found it in places that psych-simps told will ruin me. but that's a story for some other day i guess.
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berryblu-soda · 1 year
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call my kalanchoe theseus´ ship, the way it doesnt have a single one of the leaves it had when i first got it *tiny sob*
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primoredial-jade · 1 year
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wow i really love kaeya
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h34dnull-moved · 2 years
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kieran is either 6'5 or 5'3 in my head no in between
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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havent said it for a while bc I've been so busy but just know. I am thinking about that guy (guz) every day. and i love him SOOO much dhfjdkdl
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honeyed-disgraceful · 6 months
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My grief at this point is just anger because I'm in a cage made for me by others and I either kill myself or keep going. But people need me so I'm gonna be fucking angry about it. Then one day I Will kill myself
#i fucking hate this family and their inherent need of me#i fucking hate all the trauma and health issues they caused me#everyone had a hand in my undoing here and i am pissed about it.#imagine i had a healthy relationship with literally anything instead of having to cope like a little bitch#because NO MATTER how much i help and no matter how much i fucking do#they still have the same self awareness and ability to change as a fucking floor tile.#i am the only fucking person here doing anything to try and remove the fucking dysfunctionality piece by fucking piece all on my own#and i hate all of them for making me fo it#every day i am more angry at them for not changing their toxic behaviour ingrained in them#and every day i am pissed at myself for having pity and hope and help to fucking give#i should become like my brother. i should take from them and leave them for dead. especially my brother. every day i hope he perishes#at his own fucking hand#he is the catalyst of all problems right now and ngl i am fucking tired of him#every single day he does his best to worsen everything for everyone#and no this is not a 'omg they were mean to me' rant#this is 'fuck they are dependent on me financially emotionally and physically and im forced to help because#even though they have never helped me with anything and beaten me down in a hole; i still have my own morals that i cannot seem to let go of#type thing.#i would be so well off if i didnt have to deal with this fucking bullshit#every single day i regret not killing myself at 19 actually#because now i have not only my burdens that THEY put over my head but also theirs because they cannot fucking regulate themselves. adults.#i am bone deep tired#i am 24 in 2 days and i just wish i was 3m under dirt.#misc
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curatedstupidity · 7 months
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lilybug-02 · 29 days
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Final Bug Fact:
The world NEEDS bugs. They keep the soil healthy, pollinate, control pests, and contribute to the worlds' ecosystem. By the end of the century, it is estimated 40% of insect species may go extinct due to habitat loss. Yes, that is very scary. But with even one beetle spared, one caterpillar rescued, and one Hollow Knight comic of all things, things will change. Because I know there's a lot more Dewi's out there than most people realize. Stay curious.
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Thanks for going on this adventure with me. ♥︎
First || Prev // END
Masterpost
Comic Thoughts and Pictures Below!
I wanted to put here how amazing and sweet everyone has been with this comic. I finished a 75 page comic in 3 MONTHS. I am at a loss for words. That sounds crazy and it IS crazy. But man was it fun. Even on days were I wasn't able to draw due to fatigue or business, I loved working on it from start to finish. And guess what!? This is my first ever FINISHED comic :D I'm so proud of myself. I know there's some things I want to change and the art is wonky in most places...... but I'm content to let it be. What an amazing summer adventure!
I'm hoping to post the full comic on another Comic website. I may or may not edit some of the art ^w^ So I'll let y'all know when I release it.
Interested in learning what you could do to help your local insects? This is the basic stuff. Maybe make some Insect Hotels if you have the time!!! And never forget to spread the word about bugs. They need our help just as any animal on earth.
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Still Here? Well you can look in the tags for little lore dumps if ur looking for stuff like that ;)
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