#ill draw you something on monday

[alexisnotstraight]

SEND ME REQUESTS!!!! AS MANY AS YOU WANT AND CAN!!! THE SILLIEST WILL BE PRIORITIZED!!! I DONT CARE IF THE REFERENCE PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH A FLIP PHONE IN 2002, YOU SEND THEM ILL MAKE EM!!!!!

(this may be a threat)

[todayisafridaynight]

if i think bout ichi going to jiro kasuga's grave and arakawa accompanying him Maybe At Least Once i just might explode

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

I need to go scream in a field or just scream along to some death metal right this minute

[coltermorning]

A New Year to Remember (A Christmas to Remember Pt. 2, RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur Morgan x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: With another meeting planned on the first day of the year, you eagerly await the possibilities it could bring.

Author’s Notes: I just had to write this one—it was too cute for me not to :) Part one is here.

Tags: Arthur Morgan x reader, high honor Arthur Morgan, fluff

AO3 Link

~

A New Year to Remember

Word count: 3238

Monday, Emerald Ranch

You clutched the concise letter in your hand, like doing so would bleed the words from the page enough to make time pass with urgency. But it wouldn’t. You would wait. This would be worth it.

It had been five days since you’d seen Arthur, five days sitting on the feeling that drawing of his had bloomed within you. He wanted your hand in marriage. You were still a little dumbfounded over it, still unbelieving you had ever earned something so good in this life, especially considering the circumstances. But he, like you, had come to know one thing—love was stronger. Consequences be damned. So you waited.

You sat under the awning at the livery, ready to rid yourself of Valentine entirely if not for the rain that fell in a torrent. It wasn’t cold enough for snow, and the downpour deterred you unlike anything the colder weather could do. All you wanted was to be in Emerald Ranch. No matter that you had two days left to wander around without cause, without purpose other than the need to see the man you loved. But the weather had other ideas. You wouldn’t find yourself ill for stubbornness either due to the drenching weather, so you would force yourself to wait, to dream, to imagine what this meeting would lead to.

The very idea of marriage had always been picturesque to you. A slow-moving march in a wedding gown. Love so full the smiles caught. Daily life made better by another, by a partner. And putting a face to the man who would stand at the other side was more fulfilling than you thought possible. Arthur’s awe as you approached him, heart in hand. His smile over getting to call you his in fondness and in name. The days yet to come, endless days made for being together and nothing more. It was too good to be true.

It wouldn’t always be easy. You knew that, though you didn’t care. It was certain the pair of you would have to leave this area of the country. Even using Arthur’s name here was dangerous, in the place where everything had gone wrong for him. Fingers pointed and blame thrown around like fire, catching, spreading, destroying everything it touched. But somehow, not him. He was pure as gold, his soul coming out more gilded for all that harrowing encounter put him through. A second chance at life. A chance to do it better this time. And oh, how much better he was when it came to you. He was a boy in a man’s clothing, his love as fragile as a bird, never knowing anything but betrayal yet wanting more still. Wanting and wanting and wanting, enough to make your heart break for him. Because you would give that to him until the end of your days, until he didn’t feel the need to want so desperately anymore. It would be natural to him one day—to love and be loved in return. You would see to it with absolute surety. Because if you knew anything about him, you knew this: a man so hardened by life, so broken by it, to still have such a strong love for the very thing that rejected him…he deserved it more than anyone. And you, of all people, had the privilege of bestowing that love on him. You would do your best to make it count. To make him believe in it once more, to never have to fear losing it. What an honor.

Sitting on an upturned crate hiding from the rain, you dragged out the journal he had given you and began to draw. You drew the feeling in your chest until it turned into Arthur on the page, your hand mimicking the love he held for you despite all odds. His hands resting on his gun belt, his broad yet relaxed shoulders, his smirking grin with a cigarette between it. All things that made him the man he was, all things that he gave to you without even knowing it. What did it mean to love someone? As you drew line after line, stroke after stroke, the image coming to you as natural as breathing, you thought you knew.

~

It was Monday. The first day of the new year. The rain had stopped early yesterday morning, and you had chased its end out of town and straight to Emerald Ranch. You had been not-so-patiently waiting around, wondering what time to plan on seeing him. Even your horse had grown restless beneath you, perhaps wondering why you led it in endless circles with no true destination. Alas, where you were headed couldn’t be reached by map. The thought made you smile.

You were riding through the middle of the small settlement, straight out of town only to inevitably turn back, when you heard it.

“There she is.”

The familiar voice made your heart leap, and you turned and found Arthur atop his horse, hands crossed over his saddle horn, smiling at you. For all the world, like this was the most regular meeting in it. You rolled your horse back and spurred it on, going to him, dropping to the ground before you could even pull up the reins.

“Arthur,” you said, all the happiness felt for him pouring out in the utterance. He was dismounting and pulling you into a hug in seconds, his smile contagious.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t be apart from him a moment longer, all the waiting around doing a number on you. You pulled away and leaned up, kissing him. Then kissing him some more. Enough that when you broke apart, he was laughing fondly, his face red as a beet.

“My drawing didn’t scare you off I see,” he said, though he knew the answer to that. You had written him within minutes of seeing the damned thing, telling him to get his ass back to town, berating him for leaving it in the first place.

“No,” you answered anyway. “Quite the opposite.”

“Hm,” he muttered, tilting his head in feigned thought. “Guess we’ll have to do something about that.” And the smug look he gave you, his face so close and so darn kissable, what he was proposing—literally proposing…

“Come on,” he said, turning before you could blink. So that’s how it would be—never knowing the moment he would pop the burning question until he did it. You smiled so wide your face ached with it, but you could only shake your head and return to your horse, mounting back up, seeing where this day would lead.

“Got a ride ahead of us,” Arthur said as he settled into his saddle. “You sure you’re up for it?”

Whether he meant the day or the rest of your life, you didn’t care. As long as you were with him.

“Lead the way, cowboy.”

The pair of you rode and rode, along winding paths, past a lake, up into the mountains where the air got thinner and the wind had a bite to it. He lead so aimlessly you were beginning to wonder if even he knew where he was going, until he stopped suddenly and said, “Here’s good.”

You just watched him swing down off his horse, a little confused. “Here?”

You were in the middle of the woods just off the path. The most nondescript place on earth.

He smirked. “What, this not good enough for you?”

“No! Not that, I just-”

“Relax,” he said, waving you off as he untied his bedroll from his horse. “Let’s leave the horses here. You up for a walk?”

You knew him, knew he didn’t like his horse being far. This was strange behavior coming from him. But it seemed he had planned this out, so you went with it anyway.

“Sure,” you answered, dismounting, tying your horse where it stood.

“Good.”

Then you walked over to him to let him lead the way. But he hung back, switching his bedroll to his other side and reaching for your hand. You grinned like a fool and took it.

“Such a sap.”

“Shut up.” But he held on tight and walked with you, not quite so big and tough as he looked for once.

He led you deeper into the woods for about a quarter mile, then up. The woods turned to rock, to hills verging on mountains. He held your hand firm, the ground uneven and littered with rocks enough to make both of you stumble a bit. Finally, the rock gave way to a flatter, more grassy spance of ground, and he stopped.

“How’s here?”

“Here’s…anywhere’s fine. Really, I didn’t mean-”

He stopped you again. “Don’t worry about it.” He finally released your hand and undid his bedroll, flaring it out to its full extent so that it fell wide to the ground. He set it down and turned to you with a mischievous look as he made to sit on it. “Care to join me?”

Gladly. You didn’t even have to respond before you were moving, missing the touch of his hand already. He settled and leaned back, and you sat close enough to lean into him, to take in the scent he wore like a second layer of clothes.

He sighed then, content as could be, content as you were. Though you couldn’t deny you were nervous. Unknowing about when he would ask what you so desperately wanted him to. But instead of worrying about that, you caught sight of the view. He had taken you high enough to overlook the trail you had ridden, the woods surrounding it. The lake below. It was a beautiful day, the storm from yesterday long gone, the sun beginning to sink in the sky and light up the trees, the water, the world. Even your two horses far below could be seen, and you understood then why he was okay with leaving them. They were never quite out of sight.

“Missed you.”

His low, warm voice was like honey, and you relaxed into it and into the feel of his hand coming up to your head, his fingers running through your hair.

“Didn’t have to, you know. Could have stayed.”

You watched the view as you said it. You would normally want to look at him, but the way his fingers tugged through your wind-tangled hair with the easiest pressure was relaxing you.

“Couldn’t have done that,” he said. “I owe my woman a little ceremony at least.”

“Mmm,” you hummed in agreement, leaning into his touch. “But you know I would have married you right there on the street. In the mud and the horseshit.” You turned to him then, smiling.

He smiled back, a flash of teeth. “I know you would, darlin’. But you deserve more than that.”

He admired you a moment before reaching around himself, into his satchel. Your breath caught in your chest until he pulled out a cloth full of berries—raspberries. Your favorite. He offered them to you, and you happily obliged.

Soon, you were both eating them and talking about the day, about your time spent apart, about your lives. He told you about his past, most of which you already knew, but he delved into his childhood, his parents—subjects he had hardly breached. Even his son who had passed. He talked about how he was afraid he was turning into his father, how ashamed his mother would be over the man he had become. You countered that he was a good man, that any mother would be proud of who he was despite all he went through. He argued that he could never escape his past, no matter how good he tried to be. That his son was killed by the same type of man he was. You shut that down quickly, saying he would never kill a child. Then his words became slow and strained, explaining how terrified he was of starting a life with you. How scared he was of losing you too. That no matter how far the two of you went, his past would always catch up to him. You just shook your head, the guilt written across his face crushing you. Then told him simply life was too short to worry with that. That you would rather have him and lose him than not have him at all. He went quiet then. And you let him be, berries long since eaten, sun sinking lower. You let him wage war within himself, decide who he wanted to be. No one could make that decision but him.

After long enough that the sun was beginning its final descent, his hand found the back of your head, and he pulled you to him in a kiss. One hard, heart-felt, emotion-filled kiss. He started taking your breath away, leaning into you. But just as quickly as that passion had flared, he stopped, pulling back, breathing heavy. Holding your face in his hands.

“I love you.”

His eyes met yours. And what you found lying within them made you smile. He had made up his mind.

“I love you,” you answered. Nothing on this earth truer.

He rose. Frozen with sudden nerves, you just watched him as he looked down at the horses, his expression clouded like he was making up his mind. Then he looked at you and offered you his hand.

“I have an idea.”

You took it without asking for more, though your curiosity was burning with the unanswered question. When will he do it?

Once you were on your feet, he turned and whistled for his horse. You did the same, both mounts running up the rocky hillside in response. They navigated the loose shale well and were soon greeting you with ears pricked.

Arthur rolled up his bedroll, the place you had sat lacking any evidence you had been here. It seemed strange—such a perfect place for Arthur to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him. But he hadn’t and was instead tying his bedroll down on his horse’s back, smiling at some unknown thought.

“I want to show you something,” he said, turning to you. “Will you ride with me?”

What you wanted to ask was how far. Instead you answered truthfully, “Of course.” And you mounted without hesitation, your curiosity making you smile, especially when it came in the form of this man’s fondness for you.

Soon you were back on the trail, having headed back down the mountain then west. The path slowly turned north, beautiful in the late-day sun. It was going higher up and rockier still, treacherous if not for the well-minded horses below you. Then Arthur was once again straying off the path when it flattened out, taking his mount into the grass that had grown up between the rock despite itself.

Then you caught sight of the view.

You hadn’t realized you’d stopped until Arthur turned his horse, looking back at you with a smile. “You coming or what?”

“Arthur, this is…” Stunning. Absolutely stunning. The entire country seemed to lay out before you, the height of the land making you the tallest thing on earth.

“I know,” he said, dismounting. “Come on.” And when you swung off your horse too, he walked over and took your hand, still facing you as he said, “You didn’t think I’d lead you on some wild goose chase without a view, did you?”

“Where we were before was a view,” you said. “This is something else.”

You let him lead you onward with a smile, closer to the edge of the mountain, toward where the sky stretched into endless day. You could see Emerald Ranch, all of the heartlands, even a bit of Valentine. So far south you could just make out the lake that looked to be more of an ocean from here.

“Pretty, ain’t it?”

“How’d you come upon this place?” you asked, turning to him. Though he had already been looking at you, his soft smile breaking over you in its endearment.

“Did some traveling around these parts a few years back. Believe it or not, there used to be some sort of monk or some other crazy who sat at that cliff edge all day, taking it all in,” he said, gesturing to where the mountain ended and the sky began. “So I guess you have him to thank for introducing me to the view.”

“I have you to thank for this,” you said softly, stepping forward and letting Arthur’s hand drop. You walked all the way to the edge. This was worth filling page after page of your journal with. If you had known about it sooner, it would be what covered Arthur’s shotgun stock. It was so vast and powerful, you could feel your heart racing with it. Enough to make a person ponder their small existence. Unlike anything you’d ever seen. And when you turned to tell Arthur so, he was kneeling.

Your mind stopped turning. Stopped working entirely.

He was down on one knee, looking up at you like you held all the love in the world. In love with you. He held something small and shiny between his fingers.

“Y/N,” he started gently, his voice shot through with care. He held up the ring, a small, gold thing. You had thought before that a ring didn’t matter, that you would marry him without one in a heartbeat. While that still held, seeing the small band now with its tiny, sparkling gem—your favorite color…

“I have loved you for as long as I’ve known you.” You felt tears fill your eyes for the way that he said it. Raw.

“You’re the only person I want to spend every day with. The rest of my life with. In fact it…scares the hell out of me how much I like you.” He smiled as he said it, and you let out a laugh through your tears.

“So, Y/N Y/L/N…” He looked you straight in the eye. “Would you do me the honor of marryin’ me?”

There was no question in you. Not a shred of doubt. In a blink, you were falling to your knees before him and grabbing his face and kissing him and saying, “Yes,” over and over, kissing the word into his mouth. He just let you, kissing you back. And when you finally broke away to look into his eyes, he was pulling your left hand toward him, placing the ring on your finger with a look so proud that your chest tightened with it. He just admired it a moment, that ring on your hand.

Then he met your eye and smiled wide, muttering, “Looks like you’re stuck with me now,” before tackling you backward in a grinning kiss.

You were both laughing into each other’s mouths, high on the feeling of mutual love. Of belonging to each other. And when he rose up onto his palms above you, grinning down as he told you he loved you again, you took his face in your newly-ringed hand.

“I love you, Arthur Morgan.”

His eyes skipped between yours, his grin contagious. “Y/N Morgan. I like the sound of that.”

“Me too.” And he was on you again, kissing your breath away, happy like you had never seen him.

Yours.

[veronicaphoenix]

IKIGAI (or A REASON FOR BEING) — CHAPTER THREE

"Lia plucked a few daisies she found magically growing through concrete and gifted them to Noah. Surrounded by the distant hum of city life, Lia and Noah gazed at each other, their innocent stares speaking volumes, reflecting the trust and the profound understanding they were building with each other. The world around them seemed to fade away for a moment as they existed in their own little bubble of happiness, five seconds that captured the essence of childhood and true friendship."

Chapter tags: growing up, parents' neglect, uncomfortable scene b/w an adult and a minor, implied alcohol and substance intake. | Word count: 1.8k | Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*

CHAPTER 3

Lia is 9. Noah is 10.

Cristina left early on Sunday morning, leaving Lia alone.

She had been sitting by the kitchen table eating her breakfast when Cristina closed the main door behind her without bothering to aim not even a single look and a good bye to her daughter. Lia, though stung by the lack of acknowledgment, showed no signs of distress. She simply continued eating her cereal. 

She was used to it by now. 

Finishing, Lia mechanically gathered the empty bowl and the spoon. With a detached sense of routine, she placed them in the sink, the clatter of porcelain on stainless steel echoing in the quiet kitchen. The mundane chore of washing up could wait.

Lia started to navigate the adventures of a Sunday on her own. Another one.

Pushing aside the thoughts of her mom, she decided to venture into the backyard. The neglected garden, a wild tangle of overgrown plants, was like a mirror of her own being, even though she was too small to notice that resemblance at the time.

With a tiny shovel and an old watering can, she stepped into the garden barefoot, saying hellos and asking how are yous to her friends the plants. She wished she could bring Noah home one day to show him everything she had there. It wasn’t as beautiful as his grandparents’ garden, but this was hers, and she loved it.

She was sure Noah would love it, too.

After a couple of hours there, she went back inside and took on the task of cleaning, something that Cristina didn’t seem to consider much necessary besides the occasional dusting and mopping.

As the day unfolded, Lia found solace in the pages of her favorite books. The characters became her companions, offering friendship in the absence of her mother’s presence and the fact that she knew the Sebastian’s household was empty, otherwise she would have definitely walked on her own to the house. Noah had told her on Friday, when they met at school, that he had to travel with his grandparents up north to visit some relative who was ill.  

In the afternoon, she curled up on the worn-out couch, losing herself in the glow of the tv. Cartoons became a temporary reprieve from the silence that echoed in the house and a source of joy. Her laughter filled the house, and the birds outside joined her their singing.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the room, Lia grabbed the thin book on her nightstand. It was the one that she had taken from Noah’s bookshelf last Monday after school. She had been inspecting his collection, curious, trying to read the names on all of them. She had picked up one called Planting the Wild Garden,liking the different drawings on the cover. Noah hadn’t read it yet, but he told her to take it home. She would probably enjoy it more than he would. In return, on the way back home accompanied by him and Hana, Lia plucked a few daisies she found magically growing through concrete and gifted them to Noah. Surrounded by the distant hum of city life, Lia and Noah gazed at each other, their innocent stares speaking volumes, reflecting the trust and the profound understanding they were building with each other. The world around them seemed to fade away for a moment as they existed in their own little bubble of happiness, five seconds that captured the essence of childhood and true friendship.

With her pjs on (merely an old t-shirt from her mother that reached her small thighs), Lia went back downstairs, humming to herself the same tune that she had hear Noah playing on the guitar repeatedly the past few months. Book in her hands, she entered the kitchen, put the book on the table, and moved towards the box of eggs that was kept in a corner on the counter, next to the roll of kitchen paper. She learnt how to fry eggs last year. Not because her mother taught her, but because she observed, she paid attention, and she dared to try it on her own when Cristina wasn’t around. Luckily, Lia had never set the house on fire.

Lia was trying to find joy in those simple pleasures, for she knew that if she didn’t make any effort, she would never be happy in that house, and she knew that people were supposed to be happy in their homes, right?

In the quietude, Lia would slowly discover a resilience that would become the foundation for her journey through the challenges life had in store for her, but sooner than later, she would also discover the consequences of everything. She would realize how fucked up life is, despite the beauty it contained, despite the good things, despite Noah and the warmth he brought to her life, and as she grew into a teenager and then into a woman, this resilience would prove to be both a shield and a double-edged sword, revealing its duality.

She sat alone at the dinner table. The soft glow of a lamp illuminated the room, casting a warm hue on the pages of the book. As she sat there, reading the book and eating a fried egg with two loafs of bread, her small legs swayed beneath the table. The sound of utensils against the plate accompanied the rustle of pages, creating a symphony of solitude that enveloped the room.

With the fictional world still dancing in her mind, Lia dutifully washed up. She reached for the book again when she finished, ready to finish the day immersed in a world different than hers, just as the evening took an unexpected turn.

From outside, two contrasting laughs echoed through the quiet house. Lia's ears perked up, and she hesitated, her small hand hovering over the book. The laughter approached, growing louder until the main door creaked open. In the doorway stood her mother, disheveled and unsteady, accompanied by a man whose laughter carried the heavy scent of alcohol and tobacco.

Both adults halted when they saw Lia by the kitchen door, a solitary tiny figure in the dimness of the house. Her mother remained silent, a heavy expression etched on her face, while the man, with bleary eyes, regarded Lia as if she were an unexpected curiosity.

"You didn't tell me you had a doll in the house. Where did this pretty thing come from?" the man uttered, his words carrying a strange mixture of mockery and curiosity.

Lia, sensing an unease in the air, clutched the book to her chest.

“From my vagina,” Cristina replied shamelessly with a laugh.

Lia, standing there with a mixture of confusion and disdain, shot a disapproving look at her mother.

"What a beautiful pair of eyes, my god. They're definitely not yours," the man continued, pointing towards Cristina, whose eyes were shot blooded. His gaze lingered on Lia, a little too intense for comfort.

"Yeah, well," Cristina replied, seemingly resentful of the attention her own daughter was receiving. The air thickened with unspoken complexities, and Lia couldn't help but feel like an unwitting pawn in a game she didn't understand.

"What's your name, sweetie?" He asked, his tone attempting a facade of friendliness that fell flat in the strained environment.

"It doesn't matter," Cristina interjected, her words cutting.

"I'm Steven. Aren't you gonna say hello, give me a hug, maybe?" he pressed, the false sense of joviality in his words failing to mask his intentions. His insistence on a hug echoed as a demand rather than a friendly invitation, and Lia sensed it.

Caught in the middle of this uncomfortable exchange, felt a mixture of confusion and resistance. Lia was being drawn into a situation she couldn't control, and she felt scared.

"No," Lia replied defiantly, her gaze unwavering. She asserted her boundaries, a small but significant act of resistance. She would have to get more and more used to it as she kept on growing.

"Whoa, she's cocky. Come on, let me give you a hug.”

His persistence became more unsettling.

"I don't want to," Lia stated firmly. The tension in the room escalated as her mother dismissed Lia's boundaries with a dismissive remark about politeness, deflecting attention from the real issues at hand.

"She's a brat, more lately. It's those friends she's got. Bad influence. School is a bad influence,"

As Steven approached, Lia's discomfort intensified. The overwhelming smell of alcohol and tobacco clung to him, creating an unwelcome atmosphere that surrounded Lia. Still clutching her book, felt a tremor of vulnerability as Steven invaded her personal space, leaving her yearning for the comfort and safety of her solitary moments with Noah's gift.

When Steven touched her shoulder, Lia froze. If she ran, would he go after her? Would her mom let him follow her, chase her? How much would she let him do?  These questions raced through Lia's mind as the man's arms wrapped around her. So Lia stood there, letting the man’s arms wrap around her. It was longer than any of the hugs she’d been given by Hana, so she was not sure if this was okay but it definitely didn’t feel okay, much less when the man started moving away slowly, keeping his cheek close to hers, and then nearly brushing his nose with hers.

His cheek brushed against hers, and Lia felt a shiver down her spine. The unsettling proximity heightened her unease, and when his lips pressed against her cheek, her skin prickled. An overwhelming urge to cry surged within her. All Lia wanted was to escape from that house, from those two strangers who should have been family and friends. She yearned for the solace found in the familiar laughter of Noah and the comforting presence of Hana. She wanted to hear Hana’s voice and feel Noah’s presence around, find his almond-shaped eyes looking at her from the distance and make a face to get her to laugh. 

“Do I have to start getting jealous or what?” Cristina’s voice showed her annoyance, but it also proved how her neglect extended beyond herself, reaching into the realm of motherhood. A child, innocent and undeserving, bore witness to a mother who was but a ghost of the caregiver she should have been.

Lia didn’t like Steven’s laugh. It echoed throughout the main floor of the house and it followed her as she raced upstairs to her bedroom, trying her best not to think at the way he looked at her bare legs and thighs, barely covered by her mother’s worn t-shirt.

She hid under her covers, holding Noah’s book to her chest, and it took her a while to fall asleep, the sounds coming from her mother’s bedroom disturbing her innocence, her entire childhood.

But when she finally managed to drift off, she did so wishing to meet Noah tomorrow and tell him everything that happened. Noah would make her feel better. He would squeeze her shoulder, tell her some jokes, and maybe give her homemade cookies by grandma.

[totowlff]

chapter six — for the sake of having you near

➝ after two weeks of injections, tests, and ultrasounds, the day finally came to collect cassie's eggs. however, that day would be marked by something else.

➝ word count: 5,8k

➝ warnings: mentions of procedures and sex

— You want to… What?

— I want to give you the trigger shot you need to take — Toto said.

— You don’t even like watching me give myself the normal injections. You look away every time they take blood for my blood tests — Cassie countered.

— I know, but… I want to take part in this, somehow. You’ve had to do all of these blood tests, and take all of these shots that have been making you feel ill, and my contribution to this phase of this little adventure is just going to be to… Make a deposit into a sample cup.

Cassie laughed. 

— I know, but even if we were doing this the traditional way, conception, pregnancy, and childbirth is hardly ever an equitable experience. Plus, I appreciate everything you have done for me.

Cassie was over at Toto’s house for their weekly dinner. It was Toto’s suggestion that they get together at least once a week to discuss anything they needed to. He had already told Cassie that he wanted to continue doing so into the pregnancy, aside from when travel would take him out of the country during the race season. 

Despite being a self-proclaimed horrible cook, the roast chicken panzanella salad he’d made for dinner was delicious. 

When Toto and Cassie had discussed him being her donor and co-parent, he promised to support both Cassie and their child any way he could, and so far, he had done a marvelous job making good on that pledge. He agreed to go with her to see a family solicitor to delineate their shared rights and responsibilities as parents. He accompanied her to all of her visits to the fertility clinic, even the ones that were just blood draws and took all of ten minutes. 

— And don’t worry, you’ll do your fair share, especially after the baby is born. As I said at the solicitor’s, I might be breastfeeding, but I’m going to be pumping at the same time, so I won’t be the only one getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.

Toto smiled. 

— I know, and I’m happy to do whatever you need me to do. But I at least want to have some small part in this, aside from the obvious. And, I watched very closely when the nurse taught you how to do the other injections, so I at least know how to do that part.

Cassie sighed. 

— Okay. I’ll tell you what. We have three days left until the trigger shot, and I have an ultrasound scheduled each day. You’re coming with me to those, and I have four more injections. I can do them at the clinic, and if you can watch those, you can administer the trigger shot.

For the past week, Cassie had had to give herself daily injections of drugs intended to stimulate her ovaries to produce as many eggs as possible, and to thicken the lining of her uterus, making it more suitable for the implantation of a fertilized egg. 36 hours before her appointment to have her eggs surgically retrieved, she would take one last injection to trigger the eggs to mature so they could be captured by the procedure. 

While Cassie wasn’t afraid of needles, the act of giving herself daily injections, right into the fatty part of her stomach, just left of her navel, hadn’t been pleasant. It made her grateful that she wasn’t diabetic, and that she just needed to deal with the need for daily injections for a short period of time. Being so close to the end was a relief, except, in Cassie’s view, the three days until her trigger shot passed in an agonizingly slow fashion.

However, everything was looking promising — her doctor at the fertility clinic was pleased with her hormone levels and the progress of her ultrasounds. 

— Okay, Miss Aldersey — the doctor said, removing his gloves and washing his hands after her final checkup — I’m scheduling your retrieval for 9 in the morning on Monday. You will need to give yourself the trigger injection at 9 on Saturday night. This injection is a bit different…

Unlike the previous shots she’d taken, which were pre-filled syringes, the trigger shot came in a sort of injection pen. A nurse came in and explained to both Cassie and Toto how to complete the injection.

Toto, again, had kept his word. He’d accompanied Cassie to each visit and willed himself to watch the process of her sterilizing the injection site, pinching a fattier part of her stomach, and injecting the medication. Toto said it was hard to watch each time.

— It’s not the needle that bothers me, it’s the look on your face. I don’t like seeing you in pain, that’s all.

— It only hurts for a few seconds — she said — It’s just not comfortable, no matter what. And you might have to get over your fear of that, because there’s going to be a lot more pain involved in this process for me, and it will be a lot worse than a couple of injections. But, it will be worth it, in the end.

Toto came over to Cassie’s for dinner on Saturday night, so they could discuss Monday morning’s appointment, and so he could give her the last of her injections.

— I will pick you up at eight that morning, just so we can get to the clinic a bit early. Apparently I will be making my — Toto cleared his throat — Contribution while you are having the retrieval done. But, they said I could join you once you’re in the recovery ward, so I should be there when you’re waking up.

Cassie was relieved. The idea of waking up from surgery, no matter how brief, alone, was a frightening prospect. She remembered having a minor procedure as a child — she couldn’t remember if it was when she had her tonsils or appendix out, as she’d had both removed as a child — and the anesthetic wearing off far earlier than it should have. It wasn’t as if she was still in the operating room, but it had been while she was away at school, and the teacher that had accompanied her to hospital hadn’t yet made it from the waiting room to the recovery ward.

She regained awareness just as the nurse on the ward had stepped away momentarily, not expecting Cassie to come around for another few minutes, and came back to her wide awake and in a fit of panicked sobbing from waking up in an unfamiliar place, alone. 

It was then she learned that, as a natural redhead, she had somewhat of a genetic resistance to anesthetic drugs, and required a higher dose than most people, which the anesthesiologist on duty that day apparently hadn’t factored in when calibrating her dosage. When the clinic scheduled her egg retrieval, she made sure to note that she was, indeed, a natural redhead.

As 9pm came, it was time for the trigger injection. Cassie followed the instructions that came in the box with the injection pen to verify the correct dosage and did her best to talk Toto through the process of the actual injection. She couldn’t help but think about how gentle he was being with his hands as he swabbed the injection site with the alcohol pad. She stood in front of him with her shirt pulled up, exposing the injection site, while he sat on the couch.

— Okay, now, put it straight in at a ninety degree angle. You won’t be able to go too far, so don’t worry about that, then hold the button on the top down with your thumb until all of the liquid is gone from the vial.

Toto did as instructed, but not before a brief hesitation. It took him a few times before he managed to psych himself up enough to plunge the syringe in to pierce Cassie’s skin. She pinched her brows and briefly hissed through her teeth.

— Okay. Leave it in for a few seconds to let it all absorb — she said, her voice strained.

As Toto withdrew the syringe, he exhaled heavily. He was visibly stressed by the ordeal, which made Cassie wonder why he had wanted to do it in the first place. He seemed determined, and it seemed to mean something to him, so she obliged him.

— I didn’t hurt you, did I? — he asked, looking up at Cassie. His face was etched with concern.

— No, I’m fine. It’s just a momentary pinch. You did well — she said, pulling her shirt back down, smiling to reassure him. She sat next to him on the couch and leaned her head on Toto’s shoulder, trying not to think about how good he smelled.

— Not much longer, now — she said, in a whisper.

Toto wrapped an arm around her, delicately at first, as if he was expecting her to reject his touch, but she did not. Cassie seemed to relax into him, so he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. 

— No — he answered, softly — Not much longer.

They remained in that position for a bit longer, in complete silence. The feel of his hand sliding down her arm made her heart beat slow and heavy in her chest. Her skin suddenly felt too hot. 

Then, Cassie made a mistake. Probably the biggest mistake of her life.

She lifted her face towards him.

Toto had his face turned forward, staring straight ahead. He was probably thinking about something that didn't necessarily worry him, but from the way his lips twitched, it was something that made him a bit uneasy.

 With her eyes fixed on his lips, Cassie wondered what they would taste like, or if they were soft.

Well, there was only one way to find out.

Cassie sat up a bit straighter, trying to ignore the tension building in her belly. However, as she studied where the best position for her hand would be, Toto turned his face away, smiling slightly.

— Is everything okay?

— Yes, everything’s fine. I was just thinking.

His fingers continued to glide delicately up and down her arm.

— Thinking about what?

“How badly I wanted to kiss you”, she thought.

— If our child is going to have your dimples.

Toto brought his free hand to his cheek, his smile widening.

— Maybe they will. I think they’re genetic.

— I hope they do. I think they’re cute.

He raised an eyebrow.

— You think my dimples are cute?

— Yes — she replied — That's one of the reasons I accepted your offer to be my donor.

Toto laughed. The sound put butterflies in her stomach.

— And I thought it was because of my height.

— It was a bonus, I won't deny it. Your height and your smile.

— You like my smile?

— Yes. I think it’s beautiful — she replied, her voice low.

He was silent for a few seconds, seemingly trying to think of what the most appropriate response would be. 

— Yours is beautiful too, Cassie — Toto finally said, before checking the watch on his wrist — Well, I should head home for the night. I’ll be here early to pick you up. Remember, nothing to eat or drink other than water.

She pulled back slightly, allowing him room to stand up. Cassie followed him to the door, kissing him goodbye with a kiss on the cheek. She shut and locked the door once he was gone. She turned around and found herself alone in her flat again, and let out a long sigh.

Toto would surely drive her to insanity before long.

Cassie woke up well before her alarm was set to go off on Monday morning, but couldn’t go back to sleep. She couldn’t eat or drink anything but water, so busying herself with making something for breakfast was out. She had showered the night before. There wasn’t any sense in doing anything with her hair, other than putting it up in a ponytail, and she couldn’t wear makeup. 

She felt disoriented without the usual steps of her morning routine, so she just sat on her couch in the darkness, scrolling through Twitter and Instagram without really absorbing anything she was reading. Just before 8, she changed into a comfortable pair of sweatpants, a soft bralette, and a t-shirt. The clinic had instructed her to wear something comfortable to change into.

Toto arrived at precisely 8am. They didn’t exchange many words on the way there, with Cassie trying to focus on her breathing to calm herself down. She couldn’t help but feel like she was fidgeting too much, clenching and releasing her jaw. 

Toto parked his car near the clinic, and Cassie felt a hand on her shoulder as she tried to get out.

— Hey — he said. Cassie turned her head to look at him. His face had a soft, fond expression on it — I know you are nervous, and I understand. This is a big step, but I will be by your side the entire time.  

She exhaled, trying to release the tension in her neck and shoulders. 

— I know — she said, sitting back into the passenger seat for a moment — And I’m so happy that you are. I don’t know how I thought I’d ever be able to do this myself.

Toto smiled.

— You thought you could because you're brave. The bravest woman I know — he said, the shadow of a smile on his face — Now come on. They're probably waiting for us.

Once the two entered the clinic, everything was a blur. The two were received and taken to a room, where she would change and wait to be taken to the room where the procedure would be performed. She changed into the clinic-supplied gown in the bathroom and placed the surgical cap over her red hair, hearing a good-natured comment from Toto.

It was in the operating room that her penny had finally sunk in. In one corner, the doctor was washing his hands, while in the other, two nurses were analyzing the chart. Beside her, the anesthetist was organizing the last details to sedate her. Staring up at the ceiling, something twisted in her stomach, tension creeping through her body.

But Cassie wasn't the only tense person there, considering how tightly Toto was squeezing her hand.

— Toto? — she asked quietly.

— Yes?

Cassie hesitated for a few seconds. It was a silly question, but… She needed to know.

— Will you be here when I wake up?

— Yes, Cassie. I'm not going anywhere. Do not worry.

A small smile appeared on her lips. Like it or not, it was a relief to have him there.

Then, the anesthesiologist turned to the gurney she was lying on.

— Is everything okay, Cassandra? — the woman asked.

— Yes, I’m all right — Cassie replied.

— I'll perform your sedation now. It is a light, short-term anesthesia, only for the procedure. Just relax.

The anesthesiologist put the needle in her IV line and pushed the plunger, a strange sensation in her arm indicating that the medication was entering her bloodstream. With her eyes fixed on the ceiling, Cassie concentrated on breathing deeply, trying to relax, as she felt Toto's thumb caress the skin of her hand.

The gesture made her look into his eyes, letting herself be enveloped by the heat they emanated, as well as the strange feeling of relaxation that took over her body. With her eyelids slowly closing, she let the medication take over, but with certainty.

She was safe.

When Cassie regained consciousness, she still felt something warm enveloping her hand. With fluttering eyelids, she found herself in the recovery room, a screeching machine right above her, monitoring her vitals. Beside the bed, Toto was sitting, his fingers wrapped around hers as her thumb traced circles on her skin. Seeing him there, with her, as he'd said, sent a wave of relief rushing through her. He had kept his word.

Squeezing his hand lightly, his face turned, his eyes meeting hers.

— You're here — Cassie said.

— Of course. I always will be.

She smiled.

— Did it go well?

— Yes, everything went perfectly, according to the nurse. You had several mature follicles, so it looks like we have a lot of chances.

— Good — Cassie said softly — And with you, did everything go well?

Toto hesitated for a few seconds.

— It wasn't the most interesting experience of my life. But it certainly was easier than yours, I'm sure — he replied.

Cassie giggled, but the movement of her body made her feel a twinge in her belly, probably where the doctor had made the incision to insert the cannula that had aspirated her eggs. Her pained expression was clearly not lost on Toto.

— Is everything okay? Are you in any pain?

— A little bit.

— Do you want me to call the nurse to see if she can give you something for it?

— No, I'm fine.

His eyes were filled with concern.

— Are you sure?

— Yes. I’ll be okay.

The two remained silent, hand in hand, as the fog of anesthesia lifted from her mind. In the meantime, the doctor in charge of the procedure entered the room, heading towards the bed where Cassie was lying.

— How are you, Miss Aldersey?

— I am fine. Starting to feel more alert.

— That’s good. I came here to inform you that we collected several eggs of excellent quality and that will serve perfectly for the fertilization process.

She smiled.

— In addition, the sample provided by Mr. Wolff was also of good quality and will also be used in this first round of fertilization.

— Very good — Toto said, looking at her.

— I'll be signing your discharge and you'll be able to leave soon. We will call and update you on the fertilization situation, and to schedule the embryo transfer. 

— Perfect — Cassie replied, smiling.

After talking to the doctor, she was discharged from the clinic and Toto drove her back to her apartment. He took her hand to lead her up the stairway inside of her building. It wasn’t strictly necessary, as Cassie was not having any trouble walking, or with her balance, but Cassie let him do it anyway. 

— You go lie down and rest — Toto said, after she unlocked her apartment’s door — Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat, if you’d like.

Cassie thought for a moment. She hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday, having been told to not eat or drink anything after midnight, but she didn’t really have much of an appetite. 

— No, but… I should probably eat something anyway. I haven’t eaten since dinner last night — she said, heading to her bedroom. Toto followed after and watched as she climbed into bed, wincing a little as she laid down. 

Toto hesitated for a moment, trying to decide how much closeness between them at this stage of their relationship was proper. But, his desire to take care of Cassie in any way he could took over, so he stepped close to her bedside, pulling Cassie’s comforter up around her chest, straightening and smoothing out the blankets.

— Are you okay? Are you in much pain? — he said, softly.

— No, just a little sore, but I’m fine. Really. It’s not even as bad as period cramps.

Toto looked at her skeptically, his dark eyes still full of worry. 

— I’m okay! Really — Cassie said, trying to hide a smile. 

— Okay… If you say so. Well, let me at least go find you something to eat, then — Toto said, giving her a sidelong glance as he stood up — Any particular preference?

— No — Cassie said — Nothing too heavy, I suppose, but whatever you can find in the kitchen. I haven’t gone to the shops in a few days.

— Okay. You relax, and I’ll be back in a bit — Toto said over his shoulder, walking out of Cassie’s bedroom and easing the door partially closed behind him.

Cassie stared at the back of her bedroom door, realizing that she was blushing a little. It had been so long since anybody had treated her with the kind of gentle affection and kindness that Toto had shown her, the way he held her hand to comfort her as she was going under for the retrieval procedure, and, just as he’d promised, he was there when she woke up, holding her hand again. She couldn’t help but notice, even in her post-anesthesia fog, the way relief spread across his features as she opened her eyes in the recovery ward. 

She’d liked him as a boss from the day he’d started at Mercedes. She’d liked him as a friend and confidant for three years now, but now she was starting to feel a different sort of way about him, but she was too afraid to put a name to it, not just yet. “It’s probably just all of the hormones and medications,” she thought.

She started to feel a bit sleepy as she listened to the sounds of him working in the kitchen. She let her eyes drift close to the sound of her cabinets opening and closing, to the sound of the tap in the kitchen running. But, the squeak of her bedroom door startled her awake again. She looked up to see his tall frame in her doorway, shadowed by the sunlight in the living room.

— Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off — she said, sitting up a little. Toto seemed to catch the way her brows pinched a bit in pain as she shimmied upright. He set the bowl, plate, and glass down carefully onto the small nightstand next to Cassie’s bed. There was a second pillow on the other side of the one she was using, so he reached over, practically effortless with his long arms, and grabbed it, fluffing it a bit before tucking it behind her head. Cassie leaned forward and let him rearrange things a bit before settling back, now seated upright.

— Comfortable? — Toto said. 

— Yes, thank you.

— Good — Toto said, sitting down on the edge of Cassie’s bed and reaching over for the two caplets that were set on the plate, and the glass of water — I made you some soup, and brought you something for the pain. Take these, first. 

Cassie took the caplets from the plate and put them in her mouth without arguing, setting the glass of water on the nightstand. Toto handed her the soup by the plate the bowl was balanced on, taking care not to slosh or spill the contents of the bowl.

— Thank you. You don’t have to do all of this for me, you know… Though I did appreciate the ride home. That would have been a bit difficult by myself — she smirked a little bit, looking down at her bowl of soup, stirring it.

— Ah, yes, but I wanted to — Toto said, gently patting Cassie’s knee through her blankets — I told you before we started this process, I would support you unconditionally, and that includes things like making you lunch, making sure you’re comfortable, and keeping you company while you’re recovering from these procedures.

Cassie smiled as she ate the first spoonful of the soup.

— Well… I appreciate it, regardless. It is… It’s nice to have you here.

— It’s my pleasure, really.

Toto glanced around Cassie’s bedroom. The decor was very modern-looking, very minimalist — all clean lines and cool neutral colors, mostly gray, black, and white, with the exception of a sage green accent wall that matched the comforter on her bed. The furniture was all a matched set of simple black pieces. 

The only thing that kept it from looking like a hotel room was the bookcase. The lower shelves were packed with books. Some of them had thick spines and leather binding. Some of the titles were in English, some were in text that looked like Greek and Latin, some of them with more modern-looking, colorful spines. 

The top few shelves had a few objects on display — a toy horse with a small blue award ribbon around its neck, a miniature replica Grecian vase, small blown-glass sculptures, a jar full of what looked like seaglass. There was a purple and white striped scarf draped over the top of the bookcase, with a framed diploma from the University of Cambridge. There were a few pictures in simple black frames. He spotted a photo of the entirety of the Mercedes team, taken at the World Constructors Championship celebration a few months ago, which made him smile.

But, another one of the photos caught Toto’s eye.

It was a picture of a little girl, with long, wavy, bright red hair and large brown eyes. She was wearing a light blue cotton dress with a crisp white collar. She was holding a miniature pie in a tin and grinning broadly at the camera, a large gap in her two front teeth. 

Toto stood up to take a closer look. There were other pictures with the same little girl in them. In one of them, she was neatly dressed in equestrian attire with her hair combed back, standing in front of a dapple gray horse, holding up a small trophy. In another, she was sitting in between two other children, both of them blonde. One was a serious looking boy that looked like he was a few years older. The other was a smaller girl. All of them were wearing matching outfits. Toto plucked the picture off of the shelf, bringing it back over to Cassie’s bed. He settled gently back on the edge of the bed.

— Is this you from when you were younger?

Cassie looked up from her bowl of soup to look at the photo in Toto’s hand. 

— Oh… yes. That’s me with my brother and sister. That’s Jason — she said, pointing at the boy — My older brother. He’s two years older than me, and my sister, Helena, is two years younger.

— I didn’t know you had siblings! — Toto said — And, is that you in the picture with the horse, too? Do you still ride?

Cassie sighed.

— No… It was something my parents sort of made me do. I liked it, but I was never exactly passionate about it — she averted her gaze away from Toto’s eyes, seeming to stare at a point in the middle of her bed — My… My father is a Thoroughbred horse breeder. He owns a really large stable in West Sussex. He’s produced a lot of champion horses. Mostly eventing horses, but he’s produced some very successful racehorses. He’s even sold a few horses to the royal family over the years.

Toto raised his eyebrows. 

— I had no idea your family was so… Well-connected.

Cassie sighed, and rolled her eyes.

— I don’t really ever talk about them with anyone, because, like I’ve told you before, I don’t really talk to them. They had a… How should I say this? A very specific plan about the path they wanted my life to take. As I got older and started making my own decisions, my own vision for my life didn’t exactly align with theirs, so…

Toto wasn’t sure what to say, so he waited for a moment, but Cassie continued.

— My family is… Well… Both my mum and my dad come from very old aristocratic English families. My paternal grandfather was in the House of Lords for a long time, and my mum’s father was a baron. My uncle Ulysses is a baron, so my mother, Aunt Sybil, and Aunt Penelope have the title of “Lady”. 

— Interesting…

— I was raised around all of this, and just found it all very silly and suffocating as I got older. I went to a boarding school as a girl, and then my parents let me, yes, let me, go to Cambridge for university because they thought I’d meet a nice, Cambridge-educated, upper-class English boy from a good family, whatever that means, and I’d settle down and have my own brood of children to be raised by nannies and governesses until they were also old enough to be shipped off to boarding school. 

— Oh…

— Meanwhile, I would stay at home and plan luncheons and charity events while my Cambridge-educated, upper-class English husband spent his time fox hunting or playing polo with all of the other Oxbridge lads before coming home and having perfunctory, sterile sex with me while thinking about fucking his mistress instead.

Toto raised an eyebrow.

— And after finishing, with no thought to my feelings, of course, he would go to sleep in a separate bedroom so I wouldn't disturb him while he slept like a baby, getting ready to ignore his wife and children the next day, while he spends his working hours at his cushy office job, taking two hour lunches with his other lads, the ones he works with, before going back to his office and fucking his secretary. 

As she spoke, she was getting more and more irritated, venom gradually seeping into her voice.

— I didn’t want any of that. I wanted to live my own life, have my own career, have friends that weren’t all in the same social circles. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to get married or have children. For a long time, I didn’t. So, I entered the management course during my third year at Cambridge, graduated, and got a marketing internship with Mercedes right after Daimler took over. My parents, of course, were horrified, even more so when I was offered a permanent job. After one too many fights over all of it, we just all stopped talking to each other. The only family members I really talk to are my sister Helena and my Aunt Sybil. 

Silence grew between them for a few seconds. Cassie took another spoonful of the soup.

— Sybil, Helena, Jason, Ulysses, Penelope, Cassandra… I think your family has a thing for Classics — Toto said. His voice was quiet and soft. 

Cassie laughed a little.

— Yes. It’s a tradition in my mum’s family to use names from classical antiquity. It’s all very elitist, honestly, but I can’t say much about that. I studied Classics at Cambridge before starting the management course. Truth be told, I always thought Cassandra was a good choice for my name, considering that nobody in my family ever believed in me. And the red hair was a funny coincidence, too. That amphora over there — she said, pointing at the small vase on the bookshelf — Was a graduation gift from my favorite professor in university, because it has Cassandra and Ajax on it. I thought it was a strange choice, given the event depicted on it, but I suppose that she got her revenge on him in the end.

Toto chuckled. 

— So, does that mean we will have a little Hera or Hector soon?

Cassie rolled her eyes.

— No. God, no. There’s not many family traditions I plan on continuing with our baby, that one included. There’s a few classical names I do like, but I think it’s time for something new.

— Well, if you want some different ideas, my family has sort of a tradition with names as well. I don’t know when it started, but my father’s name was Sven, and my full name is Torger, which means ‘Thor’s hammer’. And, I have an Uncle Ivar. My dad’s side of the family is from Romania, so I don’t know why we all ended up with Nordic names. It might just be the men, though, because my sister’s name is Liliana, and that’s not Nordic — Toto set his hand on top of Cassie’s, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb — But, we have plenty of time to decide. After all, she is only an egg sitting in a lab right now.

Cassie smiled.

— She, huh? Are you hoping for a daughter?

— I suppose that ultimately I have no preference. However, you know I have three young nephews, Lili’s sons. I adore them, but I know how little boys can be. I used to be one, you know. And I looked after my sister quite a bit when we were young. I guess whenever I imagined myself having a child, I usually pictured having a daughter.

— I’m surprised — Cassie said — I would have expected you to want a little boy to pass your love of cars and racing onto.

Toto smiled again.

— Well, there’s no reason a little girl wouldn’t love cars and motor racing, no?

— I suppose that’s true.

Cassie shifted a little, picking up the plate with the soup bowl on it that had been sitting, balanced on one of her thighs as she and Toto were talking.

— I think I’m finished with this — she said — It’s gone cold by now, anyway.

She moved to uncover herself, but Toto stood up and took the dishes from her hands.

— Oh, let me get it for you, please don’t get up. I will put this — he said, picking up the framed picture — Back on your shelf for you as well.

Toto moved deftly, putting the photo back in its rightful place, and carrying the dishes and the water glass out of Cassie’s bedroom. He pressed the door open with his shoulder. Cassie heard the sound of water running from the kitchen sink, and the sound of the dishwasher rack being pulled out. 

She started to feel a bit drowsy as Toto was puttering around in the kitchen, but was also hoping he would come back soon. She didn’t have to wait very long, because his tall frame appeared in her doorway again, with another glass of water in hand. 

He set the glass back on the nightstand, along with two more paracetamol tablets. 

— I will have to head home to finish some things up before tomorrow — he said, kneeling down to Cassie’s eye level at her bedside. He grabbed her hand, stroking it softly again — You need to get some more rest. I brought you something in case you have any more pain. I know the doctor said you can return to work tomorrow if you’re up to it, but please take tomorrow off and relax. And… If something happens, anything at all, please call me. I can stop back in to check on you after work, too, if you want.

Toto moved to stand up again, pressing a light kiss to the crown of Cassie’s head.

— Sleep well.

He turned around to leave the room.

— Wait — Cassie said.

Toto stopped in the doorway and turned around.

— Thank you again… For everything today — she said. She couldn’t bring herself to look directly at him. 

Toto smiled.

— Please… It’s the least I can do. Good rest… Cassandra.

Cassie was glad Toto turned around and shut her bedroom door after that. That way, he wouldn’t see how deeply she was blushing as she laid down and pulled her comforter up to her shoulders. The way she felt took her by surprise. She’d started this adventure thinking of Toto as her boss, her friend, and a good co-parent for the child she wanted.

But it was undeniable at that point.

She was falling for him.

[cam0rey]

happy bot monday!!!

every monday ill be posting something about the bots, feel free to ask, or make fanart, (if you do, go ahead and tag me and @slebster69!!)

today i wanted to draw kill mode goebot, he's super cool i think!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Omg PMD9 ,HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR ! ❤️‍🔥🌙💘♥️♥️♥️

Today i went to a live drawing session with friends &met new people , im trying to put myself out there more and have EXPERIENCES. this year i want to visit lots of drag shows .

Feeling truly hopeful..

Wishing you the best . How has today been for you ?!always glad to see you around ......U always make me remember deeply important invaluable truths

🌛🌞🎇🎆🌍🌎🌏💫

- Mantis💗

AWHH Hapy Lunar New Year |\/|antis ty for the wishes 🪷 Ok we are aligned or something cus i dont even think ive posted about it on main yet but i started doing irl figure drawing sessions recently !! i only did 2 so far then last week had car trouble but will b back on my grind monday.. At first i was nervous to try soemthing so bold but its sooooooo funnnnn omg its . So fucking fun & stimulating for my brain plus spending focused time around other artists, inspiring.....Makes me wanna try Actualy drawing again :3c once this music stuff is out of the way ill spend some more time w it ..

But yeah its been thr perfect way to insert myself into the-~Real~world~~~its cool its so cool. learning lots about anatomy too. EXPERIENCES ftw 👍👍👍congrats on your real life stuff happeneing too dont give up🫶

my day was chill and amazing it has been snowing all day biggest snow dump since 2009 theyre sayin!! So i just stayied inside n worked onn music. i put red ribbons on all the dogs for good luck.❤️

ty again for ur message i always adore ^--^ Sincerely, -PmD9🎶🎶🩷🎶

[why-not-a-tickle-blog]

My Writing Masterpost

Updated as of 9/12/2024

To check if there are any newer fics since this has been updated, look for the tag #my fic

You can also read many of these on AO3

My Multi-chapter Fics:

We Could Try? 1, 2, 3, 

Patton had found out. He’d found out not only that Virgil was ticklish, and not only that he actually liked it, but also that he’d never had a real tickle session.

Sequels: I do not understand, The Price of Cookies

Grumpy, Sorry

Virgil is grumpy and gets tickled by Patton, and tickles him back a bit. Later, Patton gets him back even more.

Tickle Week: Sunday, the idea, Monday, Dee and Logan, Tuesday, Patton and Roman, Wednesday, Roman and Virgil, 

“Well, seeing as there are six of us, I propose a tickle week. We’ll leave Sunday off, but every other day we’ll put names in a hat and draw one, and whoever’s name is drawn becomes a tickle toy for the whole day.”

The Tickle House:

Virgil’s New Job,

At the End of a Bad Day

Scribbling

There’s a place called the tickle house, where you can pay to tickle or be tickled. Virgil and Janus work there, and the others often visit.

Tickletober 2020:

One: Unusual Spot

Two: Feathers

Three: Stocks

Four: Scribbling

Five: Drawn on

Six: Kiss

Seven: Unusual Tool

Eight: Interrogation

Nine: Ganged Up On

Twenty-Three: Asking For It

My One-shots:

Roman’s Idea is Best

Written with @barelyticklishlee: Roman has a fantastic idea for Thomas’s date. Virgil doesn’t agree, at least at first.

When Patton gets into a Ler mood at the same time as Virgil is in a Lee Mood. 

Pretty self-explanatory

A bit of something soft

Patton’s having a hard day, so Virgil cuddles and tickles him

Cheating at Games is Ill-Advised

Virgil cheats at a tickling game with Logan, and gets very tickled.

Pay Attention

Virgil can’t pay attention to the conversation with Roman and Patton tickling him.

Beware of Running Away from Lers

Virgil tries to run away from Roman

Arms Up

Virgil tickles Roman’s armpits

Belly

Patton feels fat, but Roman still loves him just as much, and wants him to feel so much better.

When Patton has a Hard Day

Patton is feeling down, but tickling Virgil might help him feel better~

Unnamed Fic

Logan gets soft back tickles from Roman.

The Sweetest Lee

Tickling a sweet little lee is just the best thing ever~

It feels better when you just let it happen ;)

Cuddly tickles for Roman.

Remus Catches a Lee

Virgil's been caught in a trap and gets tickled to pieces.

Virgil’s Voice

Virgil wants tickles, but can't voice his requests, so Roman helps him out, getting him all the tickles he wants.

Dwindling Creativity

Roman shrinks down as Thomas's creativity is used up. Janus helps to distract him from his work.

Sacrifice

Patton is gonna tickle someone. If not a sacrifice, then everyone~

Requests:

Roman wants to join

Lee Roman

14 and 25 with Lee Deceit and Let Patton please?

No regrets, with Roman and Remus maybe?

oh requests?? hmm maybe either 22 or 25 w lee virgil and any ler you like?

14 with LerRoman and LeeLogan???

w/ pat ro and lo testing which of virgil's spots is the worst

Tell that to the tickle monster: Ler Patton and Lee Virgil.

16 Any pairing u think fits!!!! 

I know something sweeter than cookies: same pairing, Ler Patton and Lee Virgil.

maybe 29 with ler!patton and lee!logan? 

4 with Lee Roman and Ler Deceit? 

11 with Ler Logan and Lee Roman please 

22 with Lee Logan and Let Remus please? 

19 Lee Deceit and Ler Virgil and Remus please? 

Do you think you could do 3 with a lee Deceit?

9, with Roceit? :3 

16 and 7 with Lee Deceit and Ler Patton please 

Shy Lee Janus being forced to ask for tickles from Ler Logan?

Logan noticing Virgil having a bad day and and just having him lay down and giving him a pillow to giggle and blush into while he traces Virgil's back with his fingers or fluffy brushes to help him relax❤

Moceit cheer up tickles? 😃 (Lee Patton and Ler Janus, if you would)

oh prompts! maybe lee Patton ler roman with some sort of challenge? (Don't move, laugh, smile, whatever)

What about a lee!Virgil? (ler!your choice. Preferably a twin.) Someone comes in to wake him up from a nap, or something, with pokes. Virgil is still half asleep at this point, so he has no filter.

Lee Roman denying his in a Lee mood but Janus is behind him smirking because he knows when someone lies?

So, peharps a bit of Lee!Janus and Ler!Roman, please? Maybe Janus is monopolizing Roman's bed because it's soft and warm and g e t o f f XDD.

Lee!virgil ler!roman? That’s my everything lol

What about Lee Virgil being pranked with tickles by Remus but once Remus stops he shyly asks for more? Please and thank you!

If you're still taking requests maybe lee Janus being overly grumpy and getting cheer up tickles from Logan?

How about Remus acting as annoying little brothers do, and Roman getting back at him with some extra teasey tickles

may I request lee Logan and ler Patton where Pat's just gushing over how cute Lo is while tickling him?

Can please do some Lee janus and ler patton? Like Janus is being suspicious, and Patton is trying to figuring out what he is doing.

For the prompts thing how about Patton ticking Logan to make him take a break from working? 

Ler Logan and Lee Remus, if you are up for it. Remus starts to bother Logan while he is working and Logan gets payback with tickles, knowing secretly that Remus wanted this to happen. ???

Pre-Accepting Anxiety Virgil walks in to the common room to see the Light Sides having a tickle fight, cue big Lee MoodTM. So now he's awkwardly trying to keep up his bad guy persona while desperately trying to figure out how to tell them that he NEEDS to be WRECKED!

Prompts! How about Patton tickling Logan to make him take a break from working I can never get enough of that! 😂

Lee!Patton and Ler!Logan (or whoever you wish!) Patton has always been the mind palace tickle monster and after a week of his evil ler moods and tickle attacks Logan turns the tables and gets revenge tickles?

Ok so... after Accepting Anxiety, Virgil is a little shaken from his name reveal. He sorta hides away in his room because he’s embarrassed, until Roman comes in to check on him and cheer him up and make him feel welcome with tickles 🥺

Logan maybe gets hurt, (trips or bumps against something) and Patton decides to tend to him, making sure he's not injured badly, but it turns out Logan is ticklish where Patton is examining

Ler Patton Lee Deceit - Patton accidentally brushes by Deceits scales and it sets Deceit into a fit of giggles. So Patton gets curious and starts to poke and stroke the patches of scales that are all over Deceits body. And Deceit secretly not so secretly enjoys this

Maybe some cheer up tickles with Logicality where both were watching a show and a tickle scene appeared and person B is like "Oh, this is a signal. That is how I should cheer up my friend."?

How about lee!janus and ler!virgil where Virgil remembers Janus being super ticklish back when he lived with the dark sides still and decides to see if he's still that ticklish.

Could you do a college AU where the core 4 are in their university’s theatre department? Like... they all are walking back to the dorms and they find out Roman is extremely ticklish and tickle and tease him the whole way back??

How about lee Logan hiding his lee mood from Virgil?

lee!Virgil and ler Patton, Logan, and Roman. Virgil has a huge lee mood and is way to shy to ask to be tickled so he drop little hints to try and get tickles( more like Virgil being an a** and a bratty little sh*t). The sides act like they don’t know what he want, but do. So they force him to ask

anything lee logan? I would DIE for lee logan

Okay I’m bored and I need lee!Virgil and lers Janus and Remus

Anything lee Logan would be delightful! Thank you!

I was wondering if you could do something where Virgil gets stuck somewhere and the twins find him and team up to take advantage of the situation? Thank you in advance, your work is amazing!

I would like to make a trade. I will give you a boop for lee!Logan ler!Remus. :D

Janus with hypersensitive scales is the bestttt so how about a rude snake getting tickled to tears by an unforgiving Ler Logan? Maybe using a new tool that makes Janus scream?

[tunawithsoysauce]

Stuff you might wanna know :3

about ~me~

Name: Finn/Todd Henriksson

Age: 13 (2011)

Swedish, third generation Finnish

Weird

Transboy

Bisexual

👆 the main stuff. Scroll for a bit more detailed bullshit.

▪︎I LOVE MUSIC!!! I go to a music highschool, my parents are musicians and I love singing and playing french horn. Fun thing, right!?

▪︎I'M TRANS (wow!) I'm transmasc, and have been as long as I can remember (I came out at eight, I believe?) And my pronouns are he/him! I'm a boy. Only boy.

▪︎I USUALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING (wha) I don't know what im doing. Most of the time. Id like to believe im kind and try to be good, but you know. It is what it is.

▪︎HAIR DYE AND ROCKS! (lmao what) i love dying my hair. And rocks. Not cool rocks. Just... rocks.

▪︎ART!!!! (YIPPIE !) I love drawing and writing and stuff like that. Very fun. Its like the only thing I do haha

▪︎NERD!!! (OFc) I love fixating on stuff. Which leads me to our next segment...

▪︎Interests (online)

The main ones AREEEE: *drumroll*

1. Doctor who! (My sister used to love it. She showed me it all and now im as big a nerd as she is.)

2. Sherlock holmes! (Or Sherlock & co. Both. Mostly just the novels. The BBC show if you make me.)

3. Good omens! Or Neil gaiman in general! (He's very cool)

Eeeeh otherwise im very obsessed with loads of stuffs. Just. Ask me if ive seen something, ill probably have.

Family!

▪︎Mum & dad! (My mum's mean sometimes. Not all the time. She can be good. She’s just... she has a diffrent way of loving.) (Dad! He's amazing. I love him.)

▪︎ main siblings! (I have two fully bio siblings. Otto, and Ruben. Otto is 6 and Ruben is 14. Otto is silly, my big brother is amazing. He's my true rolemodel :))

▪︎ half siblings (I DONT ACTUALLY CALL THEM HALF SIBLINGS)

A) -Anna!! She's the one im closest to. She’s the youngest (26) and has a cat and a fiancee (Jim.) Jim's cool. Very silly. He's also sort of a role model, for me. He's been in my life for all of it, I think? My sister had a boyfriend before that. He was very quiet. Anna is very nice and I love having sleepovers with her. She was also the one who introduced me to Doctor who!! We always have so much fun. She really likes the beatles. Don't know why I put that there. She just really likes them. Felt important.

B) Malin!! My middle big sister. She’s awesome, and She’s got a whole family. A husband (He's amazing and so so so smart i literally think he's so cool) which i think is very rad, and my neice !!! He's called Einar. He's 3. He calls me "uncle Todd" (AJSKSJJDKD)

C) My biggest brother Mattias. He's quiet, but also very awesome. His girlfriend is very nice too. She has green hairdye in her hair. :3)

▪︎FRIENDS!!!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

This includes:

1. Leija! We met in the beginning of fourth grade. She’s weird like me. And awesome. I love her.

2. Elsa!!! She's been my best friend all my life. Our mums know eachother. She’s kind and beautiful and always makes me happy.

3. Elvira!!! My mandatory lesbian friend. That's a joke. She’s cool. And very nice. She never speaks ill of anyone. She’s truly the kindest human ever.

4. Sofie!!! A non-binary chaos machine. I love them. They're always a joy to be around.

5. Max!!! My absolute best friend. He's amazing even though we barely met even a year ago. I visit him frequently.

5. Jack!!! (Love interest? Kind of dating?)

Side characters (wtf)

▪︎My therapist!! She's called Emma. Uh.

▪︎My father figure!!! Otto. Not to be confused with my little brother.

▪︎ My Swedish teacher!! I just think she's awesome. She’s also called Anna. Not to be confused with my sister.

▪︎ All my finnish friends! Jesus christ if I named all of the finnish blokes ive befriended id die typing.

▪︎ this random dude I met on reddit i haven't talked to for two months :D

▪︎Sofia!! A lady at my school. She’s awesome. She’s practically my step mum. She’s held me while I cried in the nurses office more than I can think.

▪︎ uhm

Hobbies!!

Mondays: french horn B)

Tuesdays: dancing!! (With Elvira:))

Wednesdays: orchestra!! (French horn)

Thursdays: TSS!! (A place you can hang out at)

Fridays: bugging my music teacher and playing drums with my bassist friend until I get kicked out!

School

As previously mentioned i go to a music school. We have music everyday. Its awesome.

I love swedish, music, art, english, french, and history.

I hate P.E, math, science and homeroom.

Bye :33

[b1zmuth]

Welcome To Hell!

Episode 2 

‘’Shitty Beginnings’’

´angel, angel, go away!´

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**BOOM**

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My head hurts. 

Well, considering how i just landed flat on my face after falling 50000+ miles, would be a pretty much expected response. 

Starting to look around at my newfound surroundings, i noticed a brightly lit sign up ahead- so i dusted myself off and pulled the gigantic splinter out of my hand and walked up to it, inspecting it and reading what it said.

‘’WELCOME TO HELL! YOUR NEW GUILTY PLEASURE LIES AHEAD.’’

Cheeky.

I also noticed that there was a small booth box with a older looking demon inside of it- walking up to it i got ready to speak but was interrupted by the woman speaking.

‘’Another one? Jesus facking christ! You little angels are dropping like flies down here! *HACK* *COUGH* name and registraaaaaation pleaze.’’ the clerk lady said whilst puffing her lung cancer smoke in my face

‘’I go by Koi, no last name nor registration- they dont really do that up there.’’ i responded fanning away the thick black smoke with my hand

‘’Thats just sooooooo facking nice. I guess ill jast have to *COUGH* make you a licanse.’’ the clerk lady said whilst printing me out a card and handing it to me through the shielded screen adorned with bullet holes and.. Something else. 

‘’Thank you’’ i said whilst attempting to walk away- only to be abruptly stopped by the clerk lady flagging me down. 

‘’Sweethart.. That gate is only used for the royal personalities! Youll have to use the tube to get to da main citay.’’ 

‘’The tube? What do you me-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’’ 

‘’Cane. Where the hell is this new transfer student? Weve been sitting here for HOURS now!’’ 

‘’I dont know, Calico just said be here early so they wouldn't wander off’’ 

‘’Great! I really wanted to spend my Monday night sitting on the cold hard floor instead of fucking SLEEPING.’’ 

‘’Dont you do this shit every NIGHT? Get over it. Youll be o-fucking-kay!’’

‘’I hope you slip and fall.’’

Really. I JUST came out of my comatose state from breaking a bone or two even getting here- only to be send flying downwards through a tube that smells.. Rancid! 

It smells like garbage juice in here..gosh.

Landing facefirst on the ground again, i found myself fully redressed in a school outfit, and having two large figures standing above me 

I JUST GOT HERE!! How am I already getting mugged? Oh right.. This is hell..

‘’Well, there's your answer, finally! after an hour of waiting.’’

‘’Hi. Are you the new transfer student?’’ 

‘’I guess so, i just landed facefirst in the ground so?’’ 

‘’Ha! Thats so tough man- could never be me though.’’ 

I got up and dusted myself off only to get up close and VERY personal with the two figures, examining the one to my right, seemed like someone who would be a serial killer- he had on a weird mask that had a crude drawing of a smiley face on it, seemed to have dark skin that was rough like a dragons scale, had long goat-like horns that seemed to reach around his head, and was significantly taller than the one to my left. 

The one to my left seemed WAY more approachable than the other.. Guy. he had multiple long horns and multiple eyes, all narrowly pointed towards me, he looked sinister, but also like someone i could possibly use and trust.

But alas, this is hell.

‘’Welcome To Hell.’’ Both of them simultaneously said.

‘’My name is Cane Witherspoon, future heir to the throne of Hell, and current prince of hell.’’ The one to my left ‘’Cane” said whilst giving me the worlds most blank stare.

‘’Im Simon. No last name. Lets keep the introduction short and simple.’’ The one to my right named ‘’Simon’’ responded

Great. Nevermind my great thinking on making these two my allies. There is no way in HEAVEN that will i fool around with someone this wicked.

‘’My name is Koi, they don't give us last names in Heaven. Short and sweet- just like how you wanted it.’’ i responded, now starting to tense up

Simons eyes seemed to light up when he heard my name.. I guess we knew eachother in a different time.

‘’Thats great. Fuckin amazin. Now i have to deal with even MORE paperwork.’’ Simon said whilst rolling his eyes

‘’I guess we’ll have to be your guide, cmon. We totally dont bite!’’ Cane added starting to walk away

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‘’Lucky for you, my father has prepared a special room for you.’’ Cane turned to me and said

‘’Did your dickass dad really make this poor kid sleep in the basement of our dor-’’ Simon almost said before i cut him off

‘’Its alright, its better than what i was sleeping on up there.’’ I said whilst preparing a spell.

Suddenly, the room was lit and shrouded in clouds and dim lights, with a gigantic and fluffy cloud bed and furniture, adorned just the way i liked it.. Not to bright to where it would irritate me.

‘’What the fuck?’’ they both said looking at me with the most confused look on their faces 

‘’Language! Saying bad words in here will TOTALLY kill you oooooh!’’ i said mimicking a ghost whilst flopping ontop of my new bed

‘’Har har, very funny.. Did they not give you this treatment in Heaven?’’ Cane asked whilst playing with my dangling stars that hung from the roof

‘’No, not since HE took over. We got forced to sleep on.. Something.’’ i said trying to hold back a voice crack

‘’Oh. I know we arent supposed to really show any type of emotion but, i feel for you.’’ Simon said whilst rolling on the floor, clearly loving the clouded floor

‘’You two are demons, i highly doubt that you even feel for me, to you guys i am of lesser value.’’ i said whilst still laying in my bed

‘’Never thought of you as lesser value, we just dont like meeting new angels since they always are cocky about them coming from heaven- you seem different.’’ Cane responded still playing around with the dangling stars 

‘’Thats somewhat reassuring- thanks.’’ i said whilst giving a playful kick to Canes shins

*Two yellow auras, one swirled with grey and one swirled with pink.

Their auras dont tell me anything concerning, for now i guess i can trust them?

I still dont see how Cane is actually finding some excitement by playing with dangling stars. Ha.

‘’Oh yeah, we still have to introduce you to school and more around the eternal shitdump of hell.’’ Cane responded, looking down and at a faint snoring noise. 

I also instinctively looked down to find a sleeping Simon.. Sleeping. On. MY. floor!

Ugh. Cmon.

‘’If you want, you guys can stay the night- because im NOT waking up that sleeping beast.’’

‘’Sure, but as much as id love to sleep on your floor, i can really only get a goodnights sleep floating.’’ 

‘’I don't even like sitting whilst floating, so the fact that your able to sleep whilst doing it baffles me.’’  

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‘’An influx of memories caused by a traumatic event.. Is that why your here?’’

‘’Yes.. I think.’’

‘’Lets see.. What type of tramautic response is this causing for you?’’

‘’I guess more nightmares and ----.’’ 

--scribble scribble--

‘’Ah, yes! I realize now.. Are you feeling like this due to the daybreak event?’’ 

‘’That might be the stemming problem for me.. I just miss ---sh and --i. I left them up there with HIM.’’ 

--scribble-- --tap-- tap-- --scribble--

‘’Do you want me to watch over them for you?’’ 

‘’Yes. Please make sure that they both remain safe.’’

‘’As you know, i cannot guarantee their safety as they eventually will have to come down here to hide.’’ 

‘’Thats okay. They are mature enough to handle the crown prince and any other foe that comes into contact with them.’’

‘’But! --sh, poor, poor --sh. Hes always had a savior complex- so im afraid that if --i goes, --sh will stay behind in order to save him.’’

‘’Him and his fucking savior complex. Its nice when your being the one saved but trying to save him just makes that a pain in the as-’’

‘’Language. This is technically a holy sacred temple of our savior.’’

‘’Okay. Can we talk a bit more about arrangements for them?’’ 

‘’Of course, Castiel.’’

‘’Koi? Wake up.’’ a tall figure standing right over me said 

‘’Wha- what? Why?’’ i responded in a groggy tone

As i FINALLY opened my eyes and looked up, i saw Simon and Cane standing over me with tired looks on their faces  

‘’Because i said so! You have to get up and get ready for school’’ Simon said whilst picking me up from the neckline of my cloud pajamas :(

‘’Hey HEY! Easy on the pajamas!’’ i said whilst jumping out of my bed  and successfully landing flat on my face 

‘’Ugh.. Hold on i have to get my uniform dont i?’’  i asked simon

‘’Yeah here.. I ironed it out for you last night’’ Cane said whilst holding up a perfectly good red and black school uniform’’

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*jingle jangle* ‘’can you stop with that shit? Does it look like i want to hear your car keys- knowing good n’ fuckin well where we are going! ‘’ Simon snapped at Cane 

‘’Aw. Youll be fucking ok! Koi looks happy to go’’ Cane responded with a smirk 

‘’Thats fantastic!! You point out the goody two shoes and say ‘’HE LOOKS HAPPY TO GO TO SCHOOL!’’ dickwad.’’ Simon snapped back, rolling his eyes

Boy do they bicker much. 

I dont really think that Simon has the hots for me considering their attitude this morning- but they just might be upset that they cant do their regular dose of  anarchy.

‘’Oh PLEASE! Shut the fuck up! Clearly robotnik is the better villian than metal sonic’’

‘’Whats better? A metal robot designed for killing and kicking ass or some fatass long nosed bitch?’’ 

Both of the boys bickering slowly faded as they walked out of the door.. Without Koi. Maybe he should stop with his lousy daydreaming and catch a hint.

‘’What?’’ ‘’Simon left something here.. Looks like a diary. Wait WAIT! Did they seriously leave me?? On the first day of school??’’

After 2 hours, Cane finally noticed that Koi was nowhere to be seen and promptly turned around the car and sped back to the house. ‘’You FUCKING idiot! How the hell can you lose a damn bright ass angel??’’ ‘’Hes not my obligation or problem now- this ones on you’’

Yeah, that car ride to the school was pretty uncomfortable. 

Simon thought it would be a funny joke to make me sit in a childs car seat.. What a piece of work he is. 

As Cane pulled into the parking lot of the school, Simon only sighed in response and got out of the car, throwing a fit all the way to the door and punting some poor kid like a football who was just minding their own business. 

‘’Ight Koi. i have only one rule for you- and thats STICK WITH ME. im not getting in deep shit because you wandered off.’’ Cane turned around and said to me 

‘’Im not stupid. They atleast teach us that you demons would have a ‘’ory.. Gasm?’’ if you saw us anywhere near you.’’ I responded tugging on the door handle to no avail though.

Cane only started laughing and got out of the car to meet me at the door.

‘’Whoopsies, child lock’’ he said, winking at me and offering his hand.

‘’You both are so insufferable! I am not THAT short!’’ (i still took this hand though, his car was pretty tall.) i snorted back with a small smile 

‘’Yeah yeah whatever you say short boy’’ Cane responded smiling back and walking to the office. 

Whilst we walked in the long hallways, Cane suddenly stopped and looked at me with a weird face, and asked me a question

‘’Oh. I have to take a quick piss- and i have a student council meeting in 5 minutes too. Can you find a student with a red tag on and ask them for directions to the office?’’

‘’Sure- but-’’ 

‘’Kay, thanks’’ Cane responded and ruffled my hair and PROMPTLY disintegrated into.. Nothing? 

I guess he has teleportation powers or something.

As i looked around, i finally found a student with a red tag on and asked them for directions, but they were about to say something before a taller female figure hushed them and told them sternly to help me. 

Sooner or later the teacher walked away and so did the STUDENT?? 

So now, poor Koi stood there like deer in headlights frantically searching around for someone else, to literally no avail since the hallway was CLEAR. 

‘’Oh my.’’ Koi said to himself 

Walking down the halls he eventually found a curtained off room with about.. Six shadows moving around inside.

Good god am i not going inside of there- ill just keep on walking around and pray that the office magically appears.. 

‘’Are you looking for something?’’ A deep and gruff voice said from behind him 

Poor Koi almost jumped out of his skin hearing a sudden voice.. Only to find a shadow.. Man? Standing behind him. ‘’Im sorry, im looking for the office or somewhere to find my schedule. Are you a guide here?’’ Koi timidly asked because aside from demons, he HATED shadow people. ‘’Im not a guide, but i am apart of the Student Council here. Your overseer Cane asked me to locate you to give you your schedule.’’ the shadow figure responded, blinking its red eyes and handing a paper to Koi 

‘’Well, arent i supposed to address you or something? Also thank you!’’ Koi responded with a smile 

‘’Excuse my rudeness. I havent introduced myself. I am Kortax, and yes, i am a higher being shadow.’’ Kortax said, bowing as an apology and greeting

Oh, you cannot be serious. NOT HIM. ‘’Oh, yeah… thanks.’’ 

‘My pleasure.’’ 

You best believe i booked it to the nearest hallway.. Just to get away from him. Well, luckily i had my schedule now so i can atleast go to class… Worship & backwards messaging.. 

Great! That seems like a fun class to attend, maybe i can learn how to- ‘’This class has to be the most mind-numbing class ever, when will the teacher shut up for once? I actually cant believe i thought this class would be somewhat FUN.’’ .

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The intercom crackled to life with a loud ear-shattering echo. ‘’Will Koi Kishimoto report to the office immediately’’

Seriously, out of all the names for a LAST name they pick THAT??

The silence in the room was deafening as everyone nearly broke their necks to look back at him and koi could only hold his head down in shame. A consecutive ‘’OOOOOOOOOOH!’’ roared across the classroom Koi got up and took the walk of shame to the office. As he arrived, you could hear distant shouting, and as Koi got closer to the office doors, it got louder… and louder.

“I want to know where the FUCK is our tour guide! We cannot have a transfer student roaming the damn halls!’’ shouted a very tall and muscular demon ‘’Im so sorry Principal Wither, apparently the tour guide decided 9AM was smoke break time.’’ A much smaller and frail demon responded ‘’That doesnt matter anymore you lazy shit! I will just get this new transfer student…’’ Principal Wither responded ‘’Koi Kishimoto?’’ ‘’Yes him, i will get this Koi Kishimoto to get a full tour by my youngest son.’’ Principal wither said ‘’Okay, Koi should be on his way soon then.’’ ‘’Finally, you do something fucking GOOD for once Blanco! Principal Wither laughed out Koi just had to listen to that whole dramafest, a bit mentally scarred from the Principals endless yelling. The Vice Principal named ‘’Blanco’’ turned around and finally addressed Koi. ‘’Ah, you must be Koi Kishimoto, correct?’’ ‘’Yeah, im Koi.’’  

‘’Take a seat then’’ Koi VERY reluctantly took a seat at the desk “Its about time that you show up, Let me introduce myself. I am Principal Wither, and this Fuckhead right here is Vice Principal Blanco”

Seriously?

“I see that your tour guide wasnt up to par, no?’’ “Yeah, he kinda like ditched me the second the teacher walked away.’’

“.. so your saying Cane defied his duties today?’’ 

‘’No, no sir. Cane had to excuse himself to go use the restroom and deal with a student council matter’’

‘’Thats splendid.. The student council meeting should be ending soon.. CALICO! Bring my son to me this INSTANT!’’

‘’Oh! Uh.. ye-yes sir!’’ 

I really just figured that maybe i wouldnt want to be in the same room as both Canes father and him so i just packed up and went back to class.

The class was boring. Litterally had nothing to do with Worshiping and backwards messaging. But since i still have no cl

ue in the world where im going, i just waited for Cane to appear, either way, my next class is Dark Magic training, but im hoping that the teacher will just let me sit the class out.

  ‘’Koi?’’ Cane said, suddenly appearing right behind my shoulder, and finally moving to stand beside me.

‘’Yes Cane?’’ i responded, clearly tired

‘’Sorry about my dad, i know he frightened you a bit.’’ Cane retorted, with a small snicker and putting his arm around my neck 

‘’Look Cane, ive had a really, REALLY stressful day- could you NOT? Everytime i turn a corner, this man and that man wants to look me up and down like im a piece of ham!!’’ I finally snapped, yelling at cane

‘’Jesus, calm down for a second- first of all, you are quite literally a piece of ham to these animals up here, you know how valuable angel scent is going for?’’ 

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‘’What?’’

===============

Cane is pretty cool. He makes me laugh alot, it helps distract me from what happened above. My head hurts anytime that i really think about it.

‘’Koi! Quit fuckin spacing out. Were supposed to be helping you tour the school, not watching you run into a damn wall because your heads stuck in fucking lalaloopsie land.’’ Cane told me, purposefully bumping into me to wake me up

‘’Huh? Oh yeah sure- wheres that serial killer guy or whatever his name was’’

‘’Ha! Thats oh… HAAAA- oh my fucking god- ive gotta tell Simon you said that HeHEEEEEE’’

‘’Dont! Please for the love of god, hes gonna murder me!!’’

‘’With what? A fucking Cereal box and a bowl of milk? HAAAaaaa’’

[jupitercl0uds-art]

art summary 2023!!!

i wanted to give slight commentary instead of just 12 random pngs so here you go

tuesday 3rd january - blah blah blah!

this was meant to be the first frame of an animation. then flipaclip decided not to work. anyway theres a lot of incomplete stuff from this year and this is (sort of) one of them. idk how to explain why theres 4 of me and what's going on, it makes sense (sort of) if you read the thing its based on.

monday 20th february - waluigi doodle page

i literally cannot stress enough this is the only thing i can be certain was definitely drawn in february. i would have picked a different thing otherwise, i swear. i was on a gc late at night asking who i should draw with waluigi and they gave me yoshi koopas and birdette. istg.

tuesday 21st march - tails and tbh (discord pfp)

FINALLY!!! SOMETHING ACTUALLY GOOD FOR COMPARING!!!

its funny how on one hand i dont draw tails like that AT ALL anymore, but at the same time, literally all my headcanons are there, like his fangs coming out when hes really happy, his fluffy ears, etc. the onky thing missing really is drawing fluffy arms and legs lol. as for the rest of the drawing, i think its ok. theres a few errors, particularly with the stroke, and i needed to fix the fill bucket around tbh's eyes, but this is nearly a year old now so im not fixing it. sorry.

friday 21st april - gently holding tails

ah, tails plushie, how i love thee. where the hell are you girl i havent seen you in months. i have waluigi now. i miss you :(

tuesday 9th may - waluigi sketch with alcohol markers

i hate alcohol markers. they dry too quickly. so it surprised me when one day, while forcing myself to like them, i drew something i actually liked. i still love this btw!!! this is the basis for how i currently draw waluigi rn, and my art as a whole!!!

also fun fact: i drew this the day before i started reading sonic idw :)

saturday 24th june - transmasc luigi watercolour stuff

once again, weird mario fanart i made while talking to a friend late at night. the initial shirtless luigi was drawn as a joke because of a really quick shirtless waluigi my friend drew at summer school in 2022 as a joke, which is what the weird one who craves death is based on. weird as this art may be, this was such a happy time in the year for me and i miss it greatly :)

ill have to do july - december in a follow up post because i reached the image limit lol

[todayisafridaynight]

professor just told me we dont have class this week and to instead watch a movie where a chara has a mental illness and to make mental notes of their behavior and how they're treated for it so anyways which ttm movie should i rewatch

[just-jordie-things]

so u started writing tbah in feb?? and u finished writing the series,, that makes sm sense why you're always on time. what's your writing and posting process like? do u only start posting after you fully finished writing.. do u stay active a few mins to look at readers reaction after a fic drops,, i noticed that each writer does it in their own style

oh yeah !! when i write a series i try to write the whole thing before posting about it at all. i would feel sooo baaaad if i started posting a series and stopped midway bcuz i lost inspo for it, yk?

(also if i did that with tbah i think i'd get hate and honestly... can't blame y'all for that. i am putting readers thru the wringer with this one lmfao)

en ee wayz. my process is ill-defined and laughable, but i'll try to explain!

i wrote each part, tried to keep the word count of each chapter as equal as i could- but sometimes a chapter ends/draws on on it's own, yk? some endings come naturally. after i completed the entire series i read back thru the whole thing to edit (which took fuckin forever but i never edit my work ((lazy!!)) and i wanted this series to be a lil more polished)

and since tumblr is a totally easy and compliant site i copied over the chapters into my queue one by one- and then had to compare side by side to add any italics/spacing in the original in google docs bcuz sometimes tumblr just copies words and nothing else.

bada bing bada boom i queued it all up to post on mondays bcuz ppl need something to look forward to at the beginning of the week and tbah was set in motion !!

for as long as the series is i think i actually wrote most of it fairly quickly. i really knew what i wanted out of it before i started writing it- i tend to daydream about fics a lot and therefore had a lot of it already in mind. but the little parts of filler and the editing took a lot of my time.

also i LOVE your guys' reactions !!! i frequently check comments and tags for your funny and angry messages !! i go back and reread them too to get a lil boost thru my writers block. i'm prolly the only tumblr user that actually has their notifs turned on just so i can catch when someone comments !! that goes for all my works, not just this series <3 i appreciate and love all my readers so so much, you guys get me giddy and you keep me going !! <3 kisses on all your foreheads !!!!

this got long but thanks for asking !! this series is my special interest right now lolol

xoxo ~ jordie

[wandagcre]

I’ve been so bored lately💔… but Monday I’m going to a sleepover🤭! I have two ideas for a book and one was based on a tv girl song but I don’t know if I should still write it because the support the devil… IM GONNA CRY THEIR LITERALLY MY FAVORITE BAND BUT ILL DEAL WITH IT.. but I guess I will just think of another one. But I’m stuck in a writers block. I have so many ideas but have no inspiration to write them😭.

This is to much but I all I have is this picture left

If u don’t get it look at the caption😭

BUT THIS IS LITERALLY TO MUCH IM DONE😭

the band supports the devil?? well that is tough 😭 I'm sorry to hear that! if you don't feel like writing at the moment, it's better not to force yourself just yet. maybe your sleepover will draw some inspiration out of you? then, you can start by writing few dialogues or lines or whatnot. just start easy with it and i know you'll get out of that funk soon! haha

also that edit of melissa 😳 i have that saved hfjdkfkd the caption is so true too i would've said something much worse idk!

[manikax]

Terrible Thought

Date: Monday, November 15, 2022 Time: 1:13 P.M.

Maja thunks her empty shot glass onto the bar. 

She's not sure if her growing anxiety was a good enough reason for daytime drinking, especially since the soothing 'high' of alcohol was, for her, nothing more than a dubious illusion, but she needed to do something. She needed to get out of her apartment. Out of her head. 

The horrors of Halloween had taken their toll. While the being had vanished by daybreak, it left her with unresolved questions and a deep sense of unease. 

For the past few weeks, she's been disconnected. What was still attached patrols her body like a border guard, ill-equipped to stop anyone (or anything) from entering. The mere reality that such an intrusion had happened chilled her to the bone. She has no idea how to keep it from happening again. Helpless.

“Excuse me,” someone says from across the room. 

A man about her presented age, twenty-something, with dark permed hair, holds up his own empty glass. “Hey,” his accent wasn’t Gyeonggi. “I noticed you were drinking alone. I was also drinking alone. And I thought, hell, why not drink together.” Busan, she guesses, based on his use of ‘wa’ for why. 

“Are you asking me?” She doesn’t look up from the soju bottle as she pours herself another brimming shot. 

“Are you saying yes?” 

“Hmm. I guess.”

He places his glass on the bar top and pushes it closer to her, plopping down on the nearest stool. “Top me up?”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Next one’s on me?”

She fills his glass despite herself. In her, ferments an impulse for violence. 

“Cheers.” He holds up his glass and clinks it with hers. They down the drinks.  

"I've got to ask. Why are you drinking alone in the middle of the workday?"

“I was possessed by a demon,” she deadpans.

“Is that... a metaphor or something?”

“No.”

She observes his expression morph from bemused to perplexed to regretful, wishing he'd never approached her. He's probably debating whether her crazy outweighs her sex appeal.

“Are you... um...” he stumbles over his words, “possessed right now?”

"No.” 

Now comes the man’s decision, and he decides to believe she's pulling his leg. He decides this because she's sexy, right here next to him, and clearly emotionally wrecked enough to be drinking alone at one o'clock on a Monday. And it's the damaged girls who are most likely to sleep with strangers. She’s a bundle of obvious signifiers. At least, that's what she assumes he's thinking. And when he smiles and orders another bottle, she knows she's right. They finish it in record time.

Maja’s made her mind up. She stands. 

“Where are you going?” he asks, cheeks pink. 

“To your place.”

A sound of joy and shock escapes him. He settles the bill and dodders out of the bar with her in tow. They walk a few blocks to a stout apartment complex, climbing a flight of stairs and entering through a blue door. Maja takes it all in. It's clearly a bachelor pad, with sparse furniture, dirty clothing piled high near a washer, and crusted dishes in the sink. He’s not ashamed of it in the slightest and something about that annoys Maja. He’s not ashamed when he pushes her up against a wall, slobbering on her neck and sneaking a hand up her blouse. She does’t withdraw, but she doesn’t exactly respond. 

Damn you, she thinks, though she's not sure why she's cursing him. This isn’t unfamiliar territory for Maja, and it could be fun for her. He isn’t bad looking. He, like the rest, could fill her up real easy. Her emptiness. Her great absence. She pushes him so hard that he stumbles backward. The thump he makes when he hits the floor is immensely satisfying. He rises to his elbows and looks at her, wide-eyed and surprised. 

She stirs about in the darkened kitchen and returns with a butcher knife.

"What're you doing?" He sounds nervous. Maja assumes he must be reconsidering his decision to bring her home. Too late. 

“It isn’t real,” she explains. “None of its real.” To demonstrate her point, she draws the blade across her forearm. A red rope blooms. She admires the blood simulacrum as it runs in heavy drops down her arm and splats on the floor. “Amazing. I don't know much about the man who made me, but I do know he was a skilled craftsman." She laughs, sudden and loud. “I suppose I also know he was a man. Has to be. Look at me. Only a dipshit straight man would make me this small and hairless.” 

He parts his lips to speak or scream, but Maja jumps in before he can make a sound. “Don’t worry. You don’t need to say anything. I’m not going to hurt you.” Her wound was already healing as she spoke, her miraculous doll body working its dark magic. "I'm not even hurting myself. I can't feel it," she stares him down. "I can't feel anything." 

Her skin is now as smooth and free of imperfections as the day she was created. Manufactured. There is no evidence of her self-harm. "And why do you think I was created, hmm? Do you have any theories?" She kneels in front of him, providing an encouraging grin of pearly whites. "I'm sure you can figure it out. I did. Even though my mind doesn’t remember, my body does." She gradually drags the tip of the knife down her front, between her breasts, past her belly button, and finally to her womb. “Barren. Not intended for children. But demons, sure. Come on in. Seems I was made for that."

A terrible thought crosses her mind. "Do you think if I disembowel myself I might get some real fucking answers? For all I know, my lost memories could be etched onto the length of my large intestine! It's the only thing I haven’t tried." The blade shimmers in a stray sunbeam. "What a terrible, terrible thought. But, hey, If it doesn't work out, reassembling me might make for a fun puzzle."

The man from Busan begins to shake. "Oh, you poor thing," she coos. "Surely this was not what you had in mind when you took me home. Sorry to disappoint." She licks up her own blood from the knife and then hands it to him. “Sorry about the mess.”

Standing, she stretches her arms over her head. Looks about the room one last time. "There's this woman I know. We met forever ago. I obviously have no memory of it. She does, but she won’t tell me. I mean, I haven't asked her out right, but you don't understand. That’s not how our relationship works.” The man stops shaking and freezes, like a deer hoping the bear won’t spot it cowering in the underbrush. It doesn’t seem to matter that he has the knife. “Even so, it’s fucking annoying. It makes me feel stupid. And I’m not stupid.” She walks to the foyer, taking her time to slide each foot into a boot. She opens the blue door. “Anyway, thanks for the drinks.”