#ill include a link to the fic in the notes but be aware that its abandoned. but its my favorite fic ever

[bbb-bbbbbbb]

touched up some daisy, daisy fanart i made at least a year ago but never got to post

[neon-moon-beam]

Regarding Angst and Ableism In The Submas Fandom

Posts I've made explaining why people get burned out on angst, why certain depictions are ableist and how they can have real life impact on people.

I'm reposting this from one of my posts here, because I want these things to be absolutely clear:

These are not callout posts for, nor posts attacking any art, fics, or person in particular.

I am not responsible for bad faith interpretations or other potential misinterpretations of me addressing these issues that have personally affected friends, acquaintances, and myself, should people choose to make these interpretations.

Unknowingly making ableist content does not make you a bad person. Everyone still has things to learn, everyone has room for change and growth. Self-education and critical thinking are very important here (and everywhere). A desire to correct a mistake, change, and grow from it is better all around than digging your heels in and refusing to budge or listen.

I am also not responsible for the reading comprehension or critical thinking skills of others. If you don’t read the entire post and choose to be reactionary towards it, including making assumptions about what was said or putting words in my mouth, I am not at fault (and I will not respond to/block you).

As always, bl*nkshippers are not welcome on my content. And if this boundary offends you, that is not my problem. Do not reblog, reply, DM, or in any way contact me to complain. All that will happen is I will block you.

Please note that while I am a fan of Submas, I never will consider myself in the Submas fandom because of these as well as other issues with the Submas fandom, as well as the direction fandom as a whole has been heading.

Links to the posts themselves:

Please Be Careful About How You Portray Submas: A post breaking down early fanart from when Gen 5 was the most recent compared to recent portrayals, how to spot ableist content, and suggestions in how to handle it.

Submas Portrayal Issues Part 2: Why certain ships come off as ableist, presenting mental illness and abusive relationships as "entertaining", and singling out Submas (but especially Emmet) as "not human".

Addressing Ableism In The Submas Fandom And Its Impact Again: How many people have been impacted since the wake of PLA to the point of not wanting to see any PLA-content, or even Submas content regardless of what it is.

Regarding Angst And Burnout: A personal post on why the constant Submas angst was burning me out, why PLA itself was burning me out, and how it felt like as of April 2022 there wasn't much space for people who aren't fans of angst (I have long since stopped bothering looking in any Submas tags and am not aware of how much angst vs non-angst content there currently is, but I am not interested in checking).

More About Burnout, Setting Boundaries, And Taking Care Of Yourself: Why people are burned out on Submas angst, other situations in fan spaces that cause burnout, and what can be done on tumblr to curate your experience.

Submas...hairstyles?: Short post about how the tendency to show only Emmet with fluffy, unkempt hair, etc combined with other "quirky" traits (especially compared to Ingo) can quickly look like casual ableism.

Neurodivergent People Talking About Ableist Content Striking a Nerve With You? Please Think About Why: Even if you yourself are neurodivergent, everyone can learn and do better.

Emmet is NOT: Exactly what it says on the tin. This has been going on for over a decade. Please interact with the source material in some way and stop reducing Emmet to out-of-character, ableist stereotypes!

Making Submas OOC While Using Neurodivergence As A Prop Harms Real People: Again, please interact with the source material and learn about how coding characters works rather than decide every neurodivergent character that gets intense about a hobby is "y*ndere". And please discern when it may be more appropriate to make an OC rather than make a character OOC.

[animerunner]

What Happened Is Not Right And That’s Okay (Chapter 2)

Ao3

Link to Chapter 1 Fandom: The Owl House Rating: T Warnings For this Chapter: Dehumanization, ableism, possible borderline gaslighting, and parental ignorance/neglect possibly bordering on child abuse.  Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Eda Clawthorne’s Mother, Eda Clawthorne & Principal Bump (additional relationships to be added as the story progresses. Summary:Living with a curse was never a simple task. And really from day one Eda knew it was going to be complicated. But she can't help but wonder at times. Just why hers has to be this complicated.

In short: An Exploration of what life might have been like for Eda growing up with the curse. AN: Hey there so what story is basically what it says on the tin. With some creative liberty of course.

Something to keep in mind is that this story progresses: 1. Explore Eda's character and others in response to the curse 2. Help myself explore and come to terms with my own Chronic Illness 3. Help educate others who aren't as familiar with disabilities on the realities of the situation. This one is important to me since the fandom can have an ableism issue. And I would like for readers to maybe take away why the use of certain tropes is a lot worse than they might realize. 4. This story is not meant to be either tragedy or inspiration porn.  5. I've only really begun interacting with the disability community in the last few years. So if I do a misstep its unintentional ignorance. Which I realize is not great either. I just want to make clear my intent is not malicious. If someone else who is in the community in some form be it Neurotypical, disabled, chronically ill, etc. sees something questionable within the story that comes off as unintentionally ableist please tell me. I would be happy to clarify if the plot beat was unintentional (and fix it) or somehow deals with the story itself. Which will happen sometimes. 6. Some of this is based on my own experience. Some of it is not. The parents issue this chapter is a good example of it not being based on my own experience. 

This story will touch on some topics that might be sensitive to some readers. I will include warnings . If your sensitive to the topic please keep that in mind before starting it. Also please bear in mind that not all chapters will have the same element. So while one chapter might have one issue, the other might not. A good example of this is an arc I will be exploring later in the story involving ableism in sports. 

For anyone who wasn’t around for the first chapter. This was originally inspired by @beckyarteest​‘s fic before it went off and became its own quasi multi chapter AU (I am bad at sticking to canon compliance): I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.

Anyways Actual story is under the read more. Ao3 link is at the top. Please let me know what you think!

One day turned into two and two turned quickly into a week. And after that with no real sign of the ‘curse’ resurfacing, Eda had actually started to think that maybe everyone else was right.

Maybe whatever had happened that day was just a one off thing. 

Unfortunately, reality had made that hope come crashing down just over two weeks after “the duel that wasn’t” with Lilith.

                                                  =============

Eda wouldn’t remember the moment that would properly change everything about her life.

Though, she guessed that wasn’t entirely accurate. Considering the biggest moment had happened a week prior was when she had been supposed to be vying for an Emperor’s Coven spot against Lily. The day of her first transformation.

However the incident in potions class, the moment they now knew this was almost certainly not just a one off incident like they had been hoping? That was the moment it became all too real for Eda. 

Even if it would be a while longer before it became real for the rest of the family. That was the day reality started to sink in for Eda. As it was the day that she knew at least to an extent that her life wasn’t going to ever be the same.

It would also be her first gateway into the many, many issues that came with the curse. Whether it be other people’s treatment of her cursed form, right or wrong, or just still having people take her seriously in the beginning. 

Something that would be a recurring struggle she would have to deal with in the coming years.

Much like the duel, she would only be told what had happened afterward. The entire time she was transformed she wasn’t even aware of what was going on. 

It was something that would over time become  associated with fear and worry. At the time though, for an Eda who was still in denial, it was more of a source of annoyance. 

Eda didn’t like that she had to rely on other people to necessarily do ‘the right thing’. Especially since in both instances so far it nearly hadn’t ended in her favor.

Thankfully of all people it was apparently Principle Bump who came to her rescue. Seeing reason when one of the other teachers had tried to suggest handing her off to the head of the Beast Keeping classes for the time being... 

Bump scowled at that not particularly liking the way this conversation was going, “She is still a student. A transformed one but one nonetheless. Unless she starts attacking someone there is no reason to be summoning Arden.”

Sure, he may not be particularly fond of Eda’s antics at times. Sometimes he wished that the entire Clawthorne dynamic wasn’t like how it was. It was a source of many of his headaches.

But that did not mean he supported putting Eda in a cage.

Even if she wasn’t in her right mind currently, she was still a student. And she wasn’t being aggressive. Honestly, this other form so far hasn't been aggressive at all. Though who was to say that wouldn’t change?

He was more than a bit concerned with how little they knew. However, there was one thing he was certain on: that forcing her into a cage would make things worse, not better.

Not that he particularly liked the idea even before you factored in the fact that they’d be caging a student.

“So what do you suggest we do with her then, sir? Leaving her out could cause property damage.”

Which, arguably, was more Eda than anything else. 

“Put her in my office and call a healer. Hopefully someone will know what to do to get her to transform back.”

“Sir, I must protest. Putting her with you could put you-”

Bump cut the other teacher off before he could continue. “I didn’t become the principal of this institution by sitting on my thumbs Marcus. I am more than capable of handling an unruly student. Even if she has been transformed into another creature.”

Not that he genuinely thought handling would be an issue.

                                                 =============

“So what your saying is neither of you can help.”

 Bump had ended up summoning both a healer and grabbing DeFrost anyway. Hoping maybe one of them would know how to solve their issue. 

 “I apologize, sir. But I’m used to dealing with minor curses. Things of inconvenience mostly. Under normal circumstances, I would refer this student to a specialist. This is way beyond my own capabilities to treat.”

 And of course, they couldn’t do that without involving the Clawthorne parents. Who he had tried to alert when Edalyn had transformed again. But they had both been busy and he had yet to hear anything from them yet.

 “And I’ve never seen a creature quite like this. Cursed or otherwise. I could possibly see if I have anything discussing something similar to Ms. Clawthorne. However...”

 “Most likely Edalyn will have transformed back by then.” Bump concluded.

 So apparently they were dealing with not just a curse. But a rare curse. Great. 

 Why was it that nothing involving the Clawthornes was just plain and simple?

 “At the very least can you tell me if she’s any sort of danger?”

 That way he could have his staff stop bothering him.

 DeFrost adjusted their glasses. “Well it's hard to say without knowing the curse or how it impacts her mind. But based on normal cursed creature behavior most likely she won’t be a danger to anyone unless she’s provoked. However there’s still a lot of questions there...”

 “Like what could provoke her.”

“Exactly.” DeFrost  nodded. “Sir, I know you said you could handle if anything happened but-”

“I can handle myself just fine Arden. I appreciate your concern but if I need your help again I will ask for it.”

“Understood sir.” DeFrost agreed reluctantly. Before taking their leave.

“Am I dismissed as well sir?”

“No. Actually I wanted to ask. I know you can’t help her return to normal. But I imagine the transformation back won’t be easy on her. Is there anything we can do to ease that at least?”

“Well yes. But that would normally involve the family…”

“I’ll handle anything that might come if they protest. This is already a difficult time for Edalyn. Let's not make it worse.”

                                                =============

Thankfully time really was all they needed for Eda to transform back. 

Though rather than answering his questions and possible suspicions. Eda’s return to awareness just raised even more of them in their steed.

“Welcome back Edalyn. How are you feeling?”

“Like an icicle is trying to drive a hole into my skull,” Eda said, wincing again rubbing the right side of her head. “What happened?” 

“I believe that you will probably want this, then.” Bump rather than answer the question slid the potion that the healer had left for Eda when she finally returned to normal. “The healers figured you might have one after you transformed back.” Bump explained as Eda downed the bottle.

Eda frowned as she put the bottle down again. Now that the pain was receding she could think a bit more clearly. And realize that she couldn’t think of a reason for why she would be in the office in the first place. “Back? Wait was I-”

“Transformed into that creature from the duel? Yes.”

“I didn’t even realize it,” Eda noted with a frown. Much like the last time everything was just a giant blank from right before she transformed. Which worried her on another level. Why was she unable to remember anything from when the spell, curse, whatever it was took effect?. “I didn’t hurt anyone did I?” 

“No everyone got out of your minor escapade without a scratch.” Bump assured her. Deciding to leave off the near incident with DeFrost and the cages for the moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t specifically told them not to get the Beast Keeping professor involved. 

Eda sighed in relief. “That’s good at least.” 

“So you really aren’t aware of what happened after you transformed? I take it?”

“No, the last thing I remember is being in the potions classroom. And then waking up here. Everything between the two is a blank.�� Eda’s face scrunched up in a frown. There was a bit of a tangible residue of some sort of memory. But she still didn’t know the relevance of it. “Mother’s going to kill me for missing class.”

“I would have thought you might be somewhat pleased by the new attention.”

After all that had been a reason behind some of Eda’s pranks over the years. Though sometimes Bump wondered just how much Eda realized this herself.

“Not like this.”

“Either way I’ll write a note. In the meantime you really should have a specialist check you.”

Eda winced. “That’s probably going to be easier said than done.” 

“If it comes to it, the same offer I made to your sister when she was being given difficulty by them I’ll extend to you. If you need someone to help you get seen about this curse then I can try to help you find someone that your parents won’t cause problems with.”

Eda winced remembering the fiasco that had been trying to get her sister her glasses. There was an unfortunate high probability history could repeat itself. She really hoped her parents had maybe learned. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you Principal Bump.”

“Your welcome.”

Eda’s unusual politeness wasn’t lost on him. Go figure the most polite conversation he had ever had with Edalyn was because of a curse.

Maybe he should have tried a different tactic with the youngest Clawthorne?

Too late to fix that now he supposed.                                                 =============

Any small hope for Eda that maybe her parents would take it seriously when she got home. And not try to toss it again under ‘something else’ didn’t last longer than five minutes after her mother got home. 

“Clawthornes don’t get cursed.”

“But-” Eda began to try and protest. Absentmindedly scratching her wrists. While most of the pain had subsided with the potion Bump had given her, there were still some residual aches and pains from the transformation.

Just like last time in fact. 

“End of discussion. I will not entertain this absolutely absurd discussion. Let alone the idea of taking you to a specialist.”

Eda scowled, not ready to back down without a fight. “If it's just a spell then why did it happen a second time?”

“I don’t know Edalyn, maybe someone thought they should continue the lesson.”

Eda opened her mouth to try and continue the argument. Only to have her mother disappear through the door, slamming it shut behind her. 

“But I haven’t even done anything this past week.” Eda muttered to herself.

After the first idea of it being a curse had gotten into her head. She had decided to try and be better. The transformation had hurt! She hadn’t wanted to go through it again. 

So as difficult as it had been she had hung up her pranking supplies. For now at least until whoever was angry with her cooled down.

If this really was because of a prank. Then someone was really vindictive was all she could say.

Either way whatever caused it wasn’t really the problem anymore. It was figuring out what to do next before the curse resurfaced a third time.  

Normally she would have turned to Lily for guidance. But her sister was away at training. Meaning it was her against her parents. And she had no clue how to handle it from there.  

It had always been them against the world. Even when that world sometimes included their own parents. 

With the one person who may have understood their complex family dynamic gone. With her having no idea when she would see Lily again. She had no one to turn to. 

Sure, Bump had once said that if she needed help to come to him. But this felt like a bit of a reach. 

Maybe it was for the best to leave it alone for now. Maybe if it happened again her parents would take it seriously.

She knew that the likelihood of that happening was probably small, but what else could she even do at this point?

Her parents' reaction, while infuriating, was not entirely unexpected. And it was even less likely to change if her childhood was anything to go by. Since, if it was something that made the Clawthorne’s imperfect, then it was not to be acknowledged. Even if it impacted their own children. 

And if there was anything that indicated an ‘imperfection’ it was having a curse on a child. 

Titan knew how it had been a fight to get Lily her glasses. Eda couldn’t even begin to imagine how complicated things might be if this was something far more sinister than getting your sight corrected.

She guessed if she needed too she could try looking for care on her own. She was old enough now that she didn’t need her parents there at a healer’s appointment. But then again the fall out from going to a doctor when she didn’t have her own source of income.

Well it would be a mess. 

Why did this have to be so complicated?

[haich-slash-cee]

I luv emotional comfort in books

and IDK if y’all are aware but romance books are prime for this. So, my prose reading includes: Speculative fiction, #ownvoices type books that are middle grade YA ish, and also random romance novels that are inclusive. I’m going to go over why these books are great.

Speculative fiction (ie scifi, fantasy, horror): I just like these. These are my jam. I have a whole tag of mild horror for this blog, and most of the books I talk about on this blog are spec fiction.

Middle grade books: they have happy endings, they are short, they are easy to read, they are often diverse. V good.

YA books, New Adult books: also written in an easy-to-read style. Also, MG and YA books and I think New Adult tend to be more on top of inclusive representation. Or maybe that’s what I hear about and read more of.

FYI, things get potentially more angsty in these older reader books. Sometimes I’m up for that drama-filled YA book about a trans demi-boy artschool teenager in NYC, or I want to read about the teen mom who wants to be come a chef and she gets everything she wants and it’s great and I cried. Or, sometimes I just wanna curl up with a warm and lowkey MG book about a young Syrian refugee who wants to audition for a school play. (All these books have happy endings fyi)

(Also, I know I’m about to extoll the virtues of romance books.... but if, in fact, you prefer your books to be low/null on romance and stuff: first, there is a growing # of aro ace protagonist or oriented books, whooo! Also, often MG and some YA New Adult books fall into that category of “Characters are concerned about things besides a crush or love interest”.) 

Romance books: I don’t actively go looking for them, but occasionally an #ownvoices type romance book will show up in my radar and I’ll read it.

Having just actively pointed out that I appreciate ace aro ish books.... why romance books?

First, Romance book are legally required to have a happy and optimistic ending. That might not be the exact phrasing, but basically: you can’t call it a romance book if it’s not “happy ever after” or “happy for now”. So if you pickup a book with minority characters and it’s labeled “romance”? The minority characters are guaranteed to be cherished and loved and have a happy ending. Minority characters will be told “you’re amazing, you are loved, I am so happy when I am with you”. Which is revolutionary in its own way.

Also, when there’s so many books with themes of “Bury Your Gays”, “The PoC will Die for the White People”, “This Author Wants to you Connect With this Minority By Making Them Die Because That’s The only Way to Make a Minority Character Relatable?”, “Women Being Happy Is Too Weird Apparently?”, “This Gender Minority Needs to Suffer For Reasons and this Book is Written By an Outsider FYI and the Representation is Suspicious”, “While racism and pain is a part of PoC and minority day to day life that is not realized by majority groups, and minorities should speak up when they want to because they are often discouraged from speaking due to white fragility and systemic stuff -- I have questions when I see writers from a majority group writing about Minority Suffering, especially when imposed as Minorities Suffer And This Can’t Be Changed Narrative, because that is a very convenient narrative for an oppressive system, as it enforces that Things are Unchangeable and Oppressors don’t have to do the work to change a system that benefits them, and this narrative needs to be challenged", “Minority Characters Suffers, Suffers, Suffers.... Look, I need a break from reality, I just can’t read this right now”, and finally, “Did you know that ‘diverse’ books are popular, but it’s still white people making money from writing issues of PoC, while BIPOC authors are still only like 7% of the market and BIPOC writers are very aware of this gatekeeping happening in publishing?”.... Happy minority characters and also actively reading and supporting minority-author’d books is a thing to be discussed. (Link, link, link and link to publishing industry reports on the 2nd point.)

Also, romance books are generally character driven, and character driven stuff is my jam.

H/C: There’s like, sooo much emotional comfort in romance books, y’all. People are showered with love. People are vulnerable and comforted and happy. Listen, I just read “Wrapped Up in You” by Talia Hibbert and it was basically was two solid hours of this. Literally. And a few cats show up. Also, the writer put a note in the front of the book about some possible triggers in the story, assured that she handled these as lovingly as she could, and that this books was meant to be a Christmas comfort read. (It was.) I really like when published books put info like this in the front.

...Occasionally there is straight up physical h/c or whump or at least sick fic scenarios in romance? Like, I expect piles of fluff and emotional comfort from romance. It’s almost a legal requirement. I’m here for these saccharine piles for fluff. Anyway, there’s more physical h/c than I expected.

So I was reading “Let’s Talk About Love” by Claire Kann (which has a young Black woman who is Ace and falling in love in the most adorable way, fyi... so we have ace rep in romance books too!) Anyway, y’all, there was a whole section which was basically a sickfic for one character with cooing and nursing and worrying by another character. It went on for a while. Personally, I thought the illness sounded pretty dang serious here and I think these people should have just gone to the doctor or a hospital, maybe, instead of days and days of home nursing and convenient character backstory exploration through looking at photo albums. But this is fiction. (Also they are young adults and are struggling for money and maybe they’re afraid of healthcare costs, idk. It takes place in the US.)

Actually, while I have admittedly not read too many romances, I feel like half of the books I have read include a “uh oh the protagonist/love interest just got the flu, the other character has to take care of them” scene.

Also, once I was reading a romance story and someone just... fell off a cliff? And cue subsequent expressions of feelings from other character and spending time together etc. IDK why I’m laughing, it was just funny that I had a vague idea of what romance books were, then I read this book and thought, “People are just straight-up falling off cliffs and limping around and later they can’t move from a bed and someone fusses over them, wow, there is just straight up h/c in these published romance books for ladies and no one talks about it, huh”

[littlemissrainhoe]

It’s finally here! Here’s my piece for the BNHA Flash Bang. It’s an Asylum AU where UA is an asylum and BNHA Canon is just Izuku’s hallucination. Needless to say, this is pretty dark so please take heed of the warnings carefully. Read at AO3 for some story notes.

Many thanks to @bnhaflashbang for organizing this bang and to @creativebluegalaxy for working on the wonderful art for this fic! ^^

-

Title: corrupted lens; [AO3 link]

Summary: Midoriya Izuku’s life changes when the Number One Hero tells him he can be a hero. Taken as his protégé, Izuku trains under All Might and manages to get into UA—the best hero school in the world! But that is just the beginning, for a big evil is rising from the shadows, threatening the world of heroes.

(Aizawa Shouta is tired. Of all his current patients at Ulysses Asylum, no one gives him more sleepless nights than Midoriya Izuku, the boy who was kidnapped and tortured by the infamous serial killer All Might—the boy who went missing for ten months and never came back.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Ship: None

Warnings: Mentions of Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Injury, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Stockholm Syndrome and Mentally Ill Characters

-

When Izuku wakes up, he doesn’t expect to be greeted by the familiar white walls of the infirmary.

He could only blink sluggishly, disoriented as he is, trying to remember what happened before he fell asleep. Did he get injured in another battle simulation? Izuku winces at the thought. If that is indeed the case, then that means he broke his promise again. Didn’t Recovery Girl say she won’t use her quirk on him if he injured himself again? All Might must be so disappoi—

(A body destroyed by a fierce fight, sickly and emaciated, yet still standing tall.)

All… Might…

(An arm stretching outwards, worn from battle but never wavering.)

All Might?

(An ever-present grin, somehow embodying both encouragement and promise.)

Where are you—?

(“You’re next.”)

“All Might!” Izuku screamed.

The sudden influx of memories is nothing short of torturous. Not only do they remind him of the heavy weight of the mantle his mentor has left him to carry, but the fact that the reign of All Might has ended fills him with despair.

One by one and all at once, Izuku can’t tell which emotions emerge and where they end. Anger, sadness, heartbreak—fear like no other. All Might is gone. His hero may not be dead, but already the world feels bleaker; Izuku can feel the gaping hole the Symbol of Peace has left behind deep in his bones.

Izuku can only cry and cry, grieving the loss of his hero. He mourns the man who saved his life, who encouraged his dreams when no one else did, who believed in him no matter what, and who taught him how to live for other’s sake—how to be a hero.

His mom, his teachers, his classmates—not a single one of them believed he could achieve his dreams, that Izuku could be special. One by one, they broke him down, until only a sliver of hope remained.

But All Might gave him a chance, and as hard as his training was, All Might had given him more hope than anyone else has. Now that he’s passing on the baton, Izuku shouldn’t cower—he should bravely answer his call.

Now more than ever, the people need a hero to look up to, to keep them safe; they need a Symbol of Peace. Determined, he bats away the fear and loneliness that restrains him from moving forward.

With All Might’s power residing in me, I can’t lose.

-

“… to break curfew but Kacchan was in danger, Sensei. We had to save him, and it was the only way…”

“We managed to put him under.”

Shouta looks up at Shuuzenji-san’s entrance, pausing the video. Her usually immaculate hairdo’s in disarray, probably from rushing to Midoriya’s room. Shouta was just watching the recording of yesterday’s session when Midoriya, who was asleep, suddenly started screaming.

“Hopefully, this doesn’t happen again,” she continues, “but if he wakes up this violently once more, we’d have no choice but to restrain him in his sleep too.”

“Did he hurt himself?”

“No, but he did manage to punch the orderlies holding him down and wake the other residents.” She eyes him sternly. “Speaking of sleep, when was the last time you had some, young man?”

Shouta sighs, fully aware of what she sees. The panda eyes, the scruffy face, the littered coffee cups and strewn out sleeping bag—the room has all the evidence for a typical Aizawa Overnighter. He’s been up for almost 57 hours, but she doesn’t have to know that. He just has to last a few more hours before he can finally pass out.

“Had no choice,” he grunts, resolutely turning back to the computer. “Someone has to keep an eye on Ward 1A before the patients try to break out again.”

He hears her sigh behind him but she doesn’t argue further as she sits next to him. It’s hard to put up too much fuss when this is already the second incident this week. Patients escaping is already a cause for alarm, but a mentally-unstable criminal breaking into their facility? Even worse. No one even realized he was in the building until the guards were alerted that someone unauthorized was attempting to access Midoriya’s room.

Shouta clenches his fist, immediate anger springing up at the thought of the vile man. Hasn’t he destroyed that boy’s life enough?

When Shouta first took Midoriya Izuku as his patient, he never thought it would be easy—but he never expected it to be this hard.

Shouta first heard about Midoriya in the news, whose case had blown up in the media. A fourteen-year-old boy who vanished on his way home from school, the police were notified of his disappearance a full week after he went missing—and only because Midoriya’s teacher called his mother to inquire about his absence. By then, it was assumed the boy committed suicide after evidence of bullying and domestic violence (to which Midoriya Inko is currently serving jail time for) came to light. But when investigators found no body, the missing boy’s estranged father Midoriya Hisashi insisted on continuing the search.

That’s when the letters started to appear.

Signed by All Might—the serial killer most known for the Musutafu Massacre where he videotaped himself laughing as he set off multiple bombs placed under a commercial district, killing hundreds and injuring more—the case got more notorious. For the first time since his apparent “retirement” five years ago, the criminal once again resurfaced like the boogeyman. He sent pictures and videos of him “training” Midoriya to become his “successor”, laughing menacingly as he repeatedly abused the boy, both physically and sexually, until he passed out.

It took ten months before they found him, and even then All Might was already long gone. Evidence of malnutrition, incorrectly-healed bones, head trauma, multiple lacerations, and fresh traces of semen were found on Midoriya. After his brief stint at Musutafu General Hospital, he was immediately placed in Ulysses Asylum (better known as ‘UA’) by his father, in the hopes of his son’s recovery.

Shouta immediately knew something was strange during their first session. Midoriya’s eyes were slightly unfocused, despite the sedatives having already left his system. He spoke of “quirks” as special abilities instead of behavioral habits, of becoming a “hero” and defeating “villains”—concepts that Shouta knew to be fantasy but Midoriya believed as truth. It’s like his brain has been completely rewritten to view the world as a superpowered society—like a corrupted lens that obscures his eyes from the full truth.

Though he’s aware of his surroundings to a point, his brain filters any fact that doesn’t align with its version of reality. Midoriya would talk fondly about his abusive mother making him his favorite food, gush about his kidnapper helping him make his dreams come true, about the patients in Ward 1A and how they’re all training to become heroes.

Midoriya Izuku views the world like a comic book where he is its protagonist—the once powerless boy who will become the greatest hero. After the abuse and trauma he experienced, it’s the only way his brain could cope.

Aside from that and a self-sacrificing streak that borders on self-harm, there’s technically nothing wrong with him. During his stay, he’s managed to demonstrate his high IQ, make friends, and encourage a few tight-lipped patients to open up more. Though there’s been little progress in realigning Midoriya’s “worldview”, the fact that he’s responding well to his stay here is already a big leap forward.

That is until five days ago, when All Might broke into UA. More than ten people in the staff were injured driving that lunatic away from Midoriya, including Yamada, who Shouta usually switches shifts with. Hence, the ridiculous overtime.

At least the bastard’s finally in police custody, Shouta thinks, recalling the reveal of the man’s identity on the news. As unbiased as he should be, seeing Yagi Toshinori in cuffs brings both relief and vicious satisfaction. It’s a big cause for celebration everywhere—to finally have the monster responsible for many murders right where he belongs.

But that doesn’t mean all is well.

Seeing Yagi must have triggered something in Midoriya; why else would he have tried to escape after months of clean behavior? And now it seems like he’s beginning to act out even more. The only question is why.

Shouta sighs. The Midoriya on the screen just looks at him beseechingly, wrapped up in the straitjacket they put him in after leading an escape attempt with some of the other patients.

This problem child will be the death of him.

[neon-moon-beam]

Regarding Angst and Ableism In The Submas Fandom

Posts I've made explaining why people get burned out on angst, why certain depictions are ableist and how they can have real life impact on people.

I'm reposting this from one of my posts here, because I want these things to be absolutely clear:

These are not callout posts for, nor posts attacking any art, fics, or person in particular.

I am not responsible for bad faith interpretations or other potential misinterpretations of me addressing these issues that have personally affected friends, acquaintances, and myself, should people choose to make these interpretations.

Unknowingly making ableist content does not make you a bad person. Everyone still has things to learn, everyone has room for change and growth. Self-education and critical thinking are very important here (and everywhere). A desire to correct a mistake, change, and grow from it is better all around than digging your heels in and refusing to budge or listen.

I am also not responsible for the reading comprehension or critical thinking skills of others. If you don’t read the entire post and choose to be reactionary towards it, including making assumptions about what was said or putting words in my mouth, I am not at fault (and I will not respond to/block you).

As always, bl*nkshippers are not welcome on my content. And if this boundary offends you, that is not my problem. Do not reblog, reply, DM, or in any way contact me to complain. All that will happen is I will block you.

Please note that while I am a fan of Submas, I never will consider myself in the Submas fandom because of these as well as other issues with the Submas fandom, as well as the direction fandom as a whole has been heading.

Links to the posts themselves:

Please Be Careful About How You Portray Submas: A post breaking down early fanart from when Gen 5 was the most recent compared to recent portrayals, how to spot ableist content, and suggestions in how to handle it.

Submas Portrayal Issues Part 2: Why certain ships come off as ableist, presenting mental illness and abusive relationships as "entertaining", and singling out Submas (but especially Emmet) as "not human".

Addressing Ableism In The Submas Fandom And Its Impact Again: How many people have been impacted since the wake of PLA to the point of not wanting to see any PLA-content, or even Submas content regardless of what it is.

Regarding Angst And Burnout: A personal post on why the constant Submas angst was burning me out, why PLA itself was burning me out, and how it felt like as of April 2022 there wasn't much space for people who aren't fans of angst (I have long since stopped bothering looking in any Submas tags and am not aware of how much angst vs non-angst content there currently is, but I am not interested in checking).

More About Burnout, Setting Boundaries, And Taking Care Of Yourself: Why people are burned out on Submas angst, other situations in fan spaces that cause burnout, and what can be done on tumblr to curate your experience.

Submas...hairstyles?: Short post about how the tendency to show only Emmet with fluffy, unkempt hair, etc combined with other "quirky" traits (especially compared to making Ingo more neat and orderly and not quirky in comparison) can quickly look like casual ableism by using his traits to reduce him, even if unintentionally, to ableist stereotypes.

Neurodivergent People Talking About Ableist Content Striking a Nerve With You? Please Think About Why: Even if you yourself are neurodivergent, everyone can learn and do better.

Emmet is NOT: Exactly what it says on the tin. This has been going on for over a decade. Please interact with the source material in some way and stop reducing Emmet to out-of-character, ableist stereotypes!

Making Submas OOC While Using Neurodivergence As A Prop Harms Real People: Again, please interact with the source material and learn about how coding characters works rather than decide every neurodivergent character that gets intense about a hobby is "y*ndere". And please discern when it may be more appropriate to make an OC rather than make a character OOC.

"Unhinged" OOC Submas Portrayals Aren't Submas At All And Perpetrate Ableism: Similar to the post above, why making Submas OOC and "unhinged" or "scary" has turned off many Submas fans from ever being a part of the fandom, even made some people who saw themselves in Submas feel dehumanized, and why making an OC is a better route than taking established characters so far OOC that they're no longer the characters at all.

Not Your Sad Train Blorbos: Deliberate mischaracterization is alienating to many fans, and ableism is even more alienating. Please interact with the source material and make OCs if you don't want Ingo and Emmet to be themselves.

Not Again: Ableism Post-Teal Mask Edition: How immediately upon The Teal Mask's release, people began being ableist towards Carmine and Kieran, and why slapping an armchair diagnosis on a character without their full story isn't the best idea.

More About How And Why Ableism Alienates Disabled People From Fan Spaces: What it says on the tin.

Stop Mischaracterizing Emmet And How It's Personally Affected Someone: This includes an addition from @1863-project, as well as an addition from me after.