#ill probably delete it later but for now ugh

[archived-yiptsu]

"what if sans is the knight" "what if Papyrus is the knight" "what if undyne is the knight"

What if deltarune is a story in its own right and doesn't have to tie back to UnderTale at all & the characters are only there for nostalgia purposes and for the fact it would take up less resources to reuse/slightly edit sprites from ut than to make all new character sheets

[skunkes]

[swordsonnet]

on the off chance anyone on here followed me for my jonmartin fake dating au, currently standing tragically unfinished at 7 out of 8 chapters: i'm still working on the last chapter! i would love to have it up this year, but unfortunately i can't make any promises, because i've started a new medication and the side effects are wreaking havoc on my mind and body. haha isn't chronic illness fun. but rest assured the fic is the beating heart under my floorboards, and i WILL finish it one day

[memoryoflife]

one month to uni... much to think about

[sphericalbee]

bro if either of my irls see this i will look crazy pahtetic idk maybe ill delete iti should probably just leaves this ini the drafts

im pretty pathetic irl anyway i think lol wo who carse

im thinking ab my middle school best friend and i miss her so much it isnt even funny

idk if i was her best friend but i always loved her so much and i think about her almost every day even 2 years later

ik she wasnt doing well and she didnt come from a good home and was awful at managing her emotions and didnt talk to anyone and she would sh (i only know ab bc of some complicated secret poetry thing but she never knew i had seen that but i think she meant me to) and i think she cared about me? i kinda hope not bc i want her to be happy

but i would genuinely give anything to go back in time and talk to her again for just a few hours

i want to text her and tell her everything but idk its too weird after 2 years

i think she deserves to know how much i care about her,, right?

i had to pause twice writing this bc i was crying too hard i worry about her so much

its good im godo at crying silently lol no one can even tell so sneaky

i saw a girl with the same hair as her last week and i teared up in the middle of the hallway because it hit me how much i dont know what shes doing or if shes even alive bc i KNOW hse wasnt fucknig donig well

my cat was trying to comfort me but i think he got bored and left he's so cute lmfoa my brain made it into a very angsty analogy b4 i had the chance to stop it 💀

im this close to cracking and spam texting her

i googled her just now and found her linkedin profile of fucking course shes on linkedin thats so inc harecetr where she says she wants to go to medical school and she uses fucking stupid old words like candor and idk i hope she gets into her dream college

im sure she can she was always so smart i thknk shell do rly well and maybe one day shell perform open heart surgery on me lol that would be baller

"I believe in honesty because it creates an environment that permits integrity. Allowing for candor leads to an honorable work space. Integrity is an essential value to have as it holds all to a high ethical standard. Integrity adds trust, which is necessary for professionalism. I plan to enroll in a four-year college for a master's degree to study biochemistry. I then intend to go to medical school and earn a doctorate."

she fucking talked like that even at 13 yeah and she liked running and read all the time and she loved gamed of thrones and i still own one of her shitty books and we met when she was challenging classmates to race and she was so tall and had pretty hair

sophia im sorry for crying i think it would make her uncomfortable haha

i have fucking snot on my face now shed forsure be uncomfortable lmfaoo

ill go watch some tv show and try not to burst into tears again in 10 minutes ugh maybe it would be better if i had stayed depressed having this many feelings is driving me crazy why r u here bro : /

i should make a secret vent account LMFAO my followers r here for ohshc and mq not sob stories sorry sorry

[lycheermne]

Day 68: mamma mia before

i remember typing out that i was so excited to try out for mamma mia, getting the role, how the role went, and now mamma mia opening night is just tomorrow. look how the time just passes when school just leaves you right out of it. it even let me out of the loop for not typing a lot of things out, which i can really say with my entire chest that it is my fault. i have not been the healthiest ever since school started, and my discipline is just wavering ever so often. i feel as if im regressing back to me back before i deleted all of my social medias, and me feeling so frantic about going on my phone all of the time just seems so ugly to me. and i am criticizing others for doing so when i am just doing the same. i think now i am at least aware of my brain being stimulated by constant scrolling and wanting to get my mind off a lot of things. its just crazy that out of all the days that i can catch my brain in a dire need for short-attentioned spanned media is quite literally the day before mamma mia. crazy ass week so far.

one thing that i do need to get off my mind, is that i recently had a confrontation of a friend of mine that called me out for talking a lot. after that talk, i became defensive, i became angry. i did not pinpoint why exactly i was mad, but i felt myself directing my anger internally towards her. i only realized that later on that i was just angry at my pride being hurt, and all of the rationalization i tried doing in my head led to contractions after another. i was angry at things not going my way, when i should have just realized that i can do the same things i have been doing but at a lower level. i was angry because it felt like i was being shut down for who i was, and that i sometimes literally can not control or read social situations. i realized that i can not process emotions that others feel sometimes, and this can be harmful to others. after she left the room, i talked with my friend and she too was also being defensive. ugh, i do not know. but i feel as if it is my turn to be the adult, not be immature, and talk to her and apologize of how i felt during that moment. i have to start practicing being mature, and not be the people pleasure that only self-destructs by making false fantasies and realities for the sake of me winning the argument. gaining the upper hand if you must say. i am also catching myself becoming manipulative, and i am seeing manipulative features of me that i find it ugly for me to have. a lot of my insecurities are coming into play, and im not the biggest fan. anyways, i will talk to her. at the very best for my sake.

moving forward with mamma mia and the thought of hurting my own pride, going to be honest but i really hate (dislike, says my superego) one of my directors when she gives advice because in my mind i am just thinking, "bro, you need help when you do that you have no business to tell me all of this or help me". i feel like the type of people i respect is if they actually respect me as a person of talent and is not afraid to show praise and has the capabilities of doing so. so i really cant take any student leadership seriously if they can't lead with an iron fist, or if they literally are just projecting at this point. maybe i just am a narcissist, and that sort of gets me thinking. am i really? probably am. but anyways i do not know what to do with this director, maybe i am just projecting but i do not want to be angry at them. ill figure it out tomorrow, but there are some that i definitely respect because they are the ones that treat me with respect. well i do have to say that this director helps, but whatever. ill think about my feelings.

i have a lot to type but goodnight lol.

[you-are-constance]

things i did today:

practiced bass for 45 minutes and sax for about 15

cleaned my bathroom

actually ate 3 meals

read about 15 pages of count of monte cristo for school

went on a walk

listened to 5 (?) new musicals

things i should have done today/still need to do:

shower

read about 100 pages of count of monte cristo

work on my animatic

duolingo

what i'm doing instead:

tumblr

[finiteframe3]

uuuugh

[shesakillerqueenie-blog]

Hi

[smosh-stuff]

.

[samcro-jnt]

i love being anxious about things that aren’t happening for another few months.

like why..

and i’m also loving being anxious about an aspect of the thing the probably won’t even happen.

i’m..

jfc someone hit me with a truck

[thewintersolo]

Sorry if this is too dramatic but it’s literally the worst feeling to feel like you care about someone way more than they care about you lol

[staarknaked]

Sometimes, you have to look at somebody who was once your friend and ask yourself, am I really going to miss anything if I cut you out of my life? And when the answer is "no" you get to think back to when it started to go that way and think, wow I put up with this bullshit for a stupid amount of time.

[oat-meal]

Hfa in tags !

[aevsfires]

Trying to work on one fic but getting distracted by your 16 others.

And that’s not including sequels and oneshots.

[immortalpunz]

don’t be fucking weird in twitch chat/dono - a motherfucking professional essay

okay listen,

I have seen so many people post and answer asks and address this shit already and i am FED up, so I have a couple of points that I would like to talk about  (ahh, yes, professional essay format) I’m done being nice, and apparently yelling/bullying is the only way to get through your thick skulls

1. for the love of god, STOP CALLING CC’S BY THEIR REAL NAMES or trying to get other cc’s to call them by their real names on stream,,,, it doesn’t happen very often, but the fact that it happens at all after they’ve expressed discomfort with it, is unnerving. they create their names (sapnap, punz, dream, technoblade specifically) to BE CALLED BY THAT AND NOT THEIR REAL NAMES. stop spamming it in chat/sending donos, its not cute, no one thinks you’re quirky for using their real names. NEXT

2. If you don’t have money, don’t donate, PERIOD. stop trying to guilt the cc’s by telling them that you are giving them your last little bit of money,,,, what are you trying to gain from that? when I see that shit on screen, I literally mute the stream because I cannot stand listening to them awkwardly dance around it bc it MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. stop sending donos if you cant afford it. STOP. next.

3. “you ignored/missed my last dono.” OKAY? AND? you are sending it to them because you enjoy their content, not because you want something in return. a DONATION is a free contribution and you are not BUYING something from them. you are not obligated to send them a donation, just as much as they are not obligated to interact with it. NEXT.

4. “can you say hi to___” “can you say happy birthday to___” YOU ARE HERE FOR THE STREAM, this is not a fucking meet and greet, you are here to watch them play. most of the cc’s don’t seem to mind this very much, but like dude, this is cringy im sorry. you’re basically trying to pay them to notice you, which doesn’t make sense bc they are just saying a random name that millions of people probably have and there is no meaning behind it for them and they will just forget about it 2 seconds later. NEXT.

5. why are y’all asking these sweaty white boys to name your pets? why is that a thing? are y’all okay? sapnap has covered this before. but this IS weird right? im not the only one who thinks this is messed up? maybe this one is just me being me. NEXT

6. STOP SPAMMING CHAT/ SENDING DONOS ABOUT OTHER CC’S - this one really gets to me. I hate seeing chats flooded with information about other streamers, especially dsmp lore related. why are you sending a dono telling them about another cc’s lore stream while they are currently trying to build on their own characters lore? like, maybe their character doesn’t know about said lore? and now you just shoved it in their face and they have to dance around it. or when people send tubbo “ranboo just made us cry” LIKE OKAY? how about say something nice about the content that he is currently creating and streaming for your entertainment? not about another cc’s stream. ugh, fuck y’all piss me off. 

If i missed something, please feel free to add on to it, i just wanted to get this off my chest. maybe ill read this later, realize how rude it sounds and delete it but oh well.