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innermort · 3 years

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*** disclaimer: this is a very long diary type of entry that is probably quite boring for everyone else and may be ignored. it's merely a very lenghty epiphany I just had about my life and myself and I had to type it out for me, to lock in the thoughts, if you will. it was pretty therapeutic tho. 🙃 ***

10/Sept/2021

I just had the realization that I'm in the process of redefining every aspect of my self and my life.

I quit smoking cigarettes from one day to another exactly 2 months ago tomorrow and went from a heavy to a casual party smoker.

I rarely ever smoke weed anymore (plus when I did since quitting tabacco, I rolled with herbs) and now made the conscious decision to take another long break, so it doesn't interfere with my weight loss again. I get the worst munchies and have no self control when I'm stoned. I'm talking "5000+ cals in one sitting" type of binges. I'm not tolerating this kind of self sabotage anymore.

I re-discovered edblr. Yes. I know. Not the healthiest habit to get back into but it's the only thing that has actually helped me gain the motivation and willpower to put a stop to my raging sugar addiction and instead, an actual effort into losing weight again. Besides, I'm doing it in a much more careful and "responsible" way now (high restricting, taking supplements, no strict/exact calorie limit, very light to no exercise (okay, to be fair the reason for that is mainly my injured knee but still), letting myself eat/drink more than planned if I feel my body needs it). And let's not forget that I've literally been binging every day for the past 2 or 3 months. My diet nearly exclusively consisted of chocolate, pastries and pizza. Literally. I've gained 10 kgs (22lbs) during that time. That lifestyle was just as unhealthy, if not unhealthier.

I finally got to hang up and use my calender. Due to my ADHD (self diagnosed for now), I'm very forgetful and unorganized - at least in my private life. That's why I made the decision to get a big calender which I can use as a semi To Do/Buy list and appointment/meeting/bill reminder. Since I'm glueing a sticker to each day I got through without binging, I'm looking at it pretty much every day anyways. Plus, it's a motivater to not binge (reward that inner child)! Overall, it's helping me become more organized and put together which are two areas I've been lacking in in the past years. So far, I've been mostly using my phone notes but I usually write something down and immediately forget about it if it's not a grocery list or a To Do list I'm actively working through on that same day.

I have my first appointment at a psych ward since I was a teen. It's just a phone call and first get to know conversation but it's better than nothing and more than overdue. I'm finally taking the first steps towards getting diagnosed and being eligible for therapy. I'm sick of feeling like a victim of my own brain, I just want to be better. I deserve to be better.

I'm hungry for knowledge again. I deleted Tiktok from my phone because of how big of a distraction it was and because I realized that even though I'm being bombarded with new information everyday, I'm not learning anything. Our brains can't even comprehend the amount of information given in that short time span. Nothing sticks. Sure, you find out about some pretty cool stuff on TT depending on what kinda fyp you have but for me personally, it was just hours and hours of mindless scrolling in the end. It's crazy how addictive it is, too. Even despite the fact that I was already at a point where it didn't even give me that quick dopamine quick anymore. It felt boring and repetitive and I was merely doing it out of habit.

So, I got rid off the app. I started watching documentaries again. Mostly about gut health and mental illnesses like ADHD, Autism, BPD, Narcissm etc. Like TED talks or interviews/discussions by and with professionals/experts/diagnosed people. I'm back to not just craving but actually consuming something with substance, something that gives me more knowledge and insight on a topic. Something I actually want to know more about.

I realized and accepted that even though I am a creative mind, a fully creative job might just not be for me. I'm learning that maybe I'm the type of person who does something entirely different in their free time than what they do at work. And that that's very much okay. I noticed that at my job (this was the case for every job I ever had), my mind seems to work differently. When people expect me to do something, I have the needed pressure and motivation to get it done. I could also observe in myself that at work, I enjoy organizing/sorting stuff, I'm a fast and independent learner while I'm also excellent at training new employees, I'm much more detail oriented than in my private life - overall, it came to my attention that I might not actually be the ever chaotic forgetful mess who can't form a logic thought - or I can at least recognize that this is merely a part of me and not what defines and limits me as a person. I realized I actually like straightforward work, I like working alone and I like working precisely. When I was younger I would have never used any of these traits to describe my dream career. I would gag at the idea of working an office job and now I feel like this would actually suit me very well. Especially the working alone part would mean feeling less drained at the end of a work day and still having the energy to hang out with people I actually want to see. This is an extremely valuable lesson about myself that I finally seem to have learned.

After this big sub- and now concious evaluation about myself I'm also finally taking actual steps towards a possible career. I bought a course and worked through the first 2 lectures today, taking notes and writing everything down neatly for 3 - 3 1/2 hours (in total with breaks in between). I even got a notebook specifically for this new life project. I'm excited to learn. I feel scared, too. This is something I've never done before but I'm telling myself that trying won't hurt. I have my main job as a safety net, financially nothing can happen to me. I can only learn, even if I fail. And time will pass anyways, whether I get my ass up and put in the work or continue to be unhappy with what I'm doing without trying to change anything.

Speaking of finances, I also started taking those more seriously now. I stopped using my credit card (I was in negative numbers constantly, big numbers like -300 to -800€ due to constant overspending). I set up standing orders for my monthly fixed costs to make sure bills are always paid on time. Due to my forgetfulness and ADHD freeze I would often forget to pay or postpone paying bills until the reminder came in the mail and led to me having to pay on top or generating debt. I still have a little bit of debt to pay off but it's thankfully not a dramatic amount. I also have a second bank account for savings now where I transfer 200€ to every month. Even the simple act of calculating my fixed costs to see how much I can use for what was something that was desperately overdue. What I still have to do is sort out my receipts and write everything down in a housekeeping/budget book. And my first ever tax return. I am very much dreading both of these. 😃

Anyways. Wow. I really needed to type this out. I have the very harmful tendency to look at all the negative stuff and only focus on what I don't have and don't do. I really needed to take a long, deep look at all the things I've been changing around in the past couple months. A lot of it really passed me by until now. It's crazy but I really feel like a complete failure when my body isn't looking its best and it makes me blind for everything else. So, thank you to myself for reminding me that I am actually making a lot of progress, even if it has been in areas other than my fitness and looks. They're just as important (from a healthy brains point significantly more important, obviously) and deserve to be noticed and celebrated.

Conclusion: ❤️✨YAY, ME✨❤️

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traumatizeddfox · 3 years

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tw/ cancer, drugs, psychological/financial abuse, death, murder and suicide mentions

i'm sorry fox, i still have to vent about my mom's melanoma but i have nobody to talk to right now.

i'm sure this is what she wants. this is her suicide. she knows that radiation might help her but all she tells me is how she wants to die. we are the only family that each other have left and i don't even fucking like her! i don't even fucking like her fox!!!!

of course i love her she's my mom but she psychologically abused me, refused my autism diagnosis chances, was insanely transphobic when i came out, didn't care when i was being starved and SA'd by my bio dad during the few years he had custody of me until i started "causing problems." lashing out and running away. she was okay for a few years after that but the whole time her and i were both being abused by my stepdad, who was claiming NINE DEPENDENTS on his taxes, getting insane amounts back on tax returns, plus a weekly income of 1500$. but somehow we were poor. we had name brand snacks but no real food. he bought me a nintendo switch, a 3DS, an xbox, and thousands of games among them, but i have no clothes or a car as i move out into my girlfriend's house. we had every single new streaming service but we couldn't pay the electric bills. he could get medical treatment for every ailment he had, but my untreated injuries, mental, and physical illnesses have left me completely disabled. he would chase us into corners and lock us into rooms in meth induced rages to yell at us to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE GET OUT when he's 3 times our size, and blocking every exit. it was fucking psychological TORTURE.

she and i are trauma bonded. i love her and would sacrifice my life for her because she's the only one that understands, but at the same time she'll never fucking get my gender, she'll never get my autism, she'll never get my chronic pain or digestive issues. she went into the relationship without anything effecting her body or brain. so she completely invalidates them all the time. i hate her for it.

and now? i have to sit here and watch her die. she's mid stage 3. she knows that her only son, will watch as life takes one of only things he has left. and it's making me so angry. i don't know whether to be happy or be upset. my entire life i just wished she would die. and now that she is actually dying, i don't know how to feel. i'm mostly scared. i experienced a death of a loved one once, and it was the murder of my cousin when i was 13. he was poisoned by his parents after pumping him with meth. he was only 11. he didn't deserve it, it was awful. i can't handle that grief again. this is scary fox, my girlfriend and i don't have the money or resources to get like ANY help. we are so poor and my mom and stepdad's legal problems reached into my life and now i don't have an identity anymore. it's just one fucking thing after another. no break between them. there's no way this is real i'm serious.

i constantly question whether this is real at all when it's just like this. i don't even get 10 fucking minutes between incidents! i have to deal with something jarring every fucking minute of every day! i am fucking traumatized with no room to recover and i am losing it so quickly. i am going to snap. i'm scared.

n0-weed

i wish i could rly help u! i am so sorry abt ur mom not wanting to take help but also understanding she was abusive 💔 i am so sorry. would u ever be comfortable with setting up a go fund me or like a paypal? i honestly wish i could save u from this trauma

#n0-weed

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henry-booers · 6 years

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New Gang on the Block

Bowers gang and oc

may have a Henry x oc in the future of this

im dying squrttle

Chapter summary: Henry finds out a new gang is in the school, corners the gang's little brother, and gets information. Henry confronts the new gang and ends up with a wounded man and a busted ego.

A new family had moved into town, there was another big old house that wasn't as creepy as the Neibolt house that was on the outskirts of town. This house was very large one, maybe an old white man's house way back when. No one knows but someone had renovated it and moved in. No one even knew this family existed until all of the kids were suddenly enrolled in school.

There was a large handful of kids in each division. A large group of elementary kids, about seven. Middle schoolers, about three. Then a group of high schoolers, four. Which leaves us to the current day of the high schoolers walking the middle schoolers to school classes, then moving on to their own.

No one really batted an eyelash at these kids, until the highschoolers ended up being a very tight-knit group.

Of course, the Bowers Gang had taken notice of this. A new gang of just the same amount of people suddenly had entered their territory and they weren't going to allow it to slide. Henry wanted information, Patrick wanted blood. The rest just wanted to leave the group alone since they were not doing any harm. Literally.

The group was a nice bunch of kids, protectors if anything, social with anyone and started a following quickly. Maybe that's why Henry wanted their head on a platter because the kids of the school started paying more attention to them, thinking that just a group of kids their own age was going to protect the little people.

Once a couple days passed and Henry had calculated every step and sneeze of this group, he found there was a middle schooler he could easily corner. He split from the rest of the group when he got to school, giving the leader of the Bowers gang a good head start to getting his well-awaited information.

The kid's name was Henry as well, probably why the mullet wearing boy didn't beat the shit out of him when he cornered the kid while skipping. His sick smile was the only thing that the boy under his shadow could look at until he spoke.

“So mini-me, you know those kids that walk you to school?” Henry spoke, intimidating, deep, his voice was like an old truck engines purr, the kind of sound you turned away from because of how horrid the sound was.

“You mean my, uh, my siblings?” Little Henry stuttered out, scared, confused, intrigued. He was a smart kid, for his age he could easily skip a few grades.

“Siblings huh? None of you all look related, you all part of some redneck crossbreeding in the backwoods?”

“Uh, no, you must be confusing us with your lot.” The kid sneered, and Henry sneered back.

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth and answer the damn question.”

“No, most of us are fosters or adoptions.” He answered confidently, straightening up and brushing his vest off.

Henry ignored the confidence the kid had and asked another question,

“Tell me about the leader.”

“Of the four? There are two but the one who runs the show most of the time is Sixteen.” He answered, looking up at the bell rang. They were off in a corner of the school that was rarely used and the only reason the Henrys had even crossed paths was the little one was looking for his locker.

“Tell me more about them.”

“Sixteen is a very anxious and secluded person, confused with themselves and the world. Usually finds themselves in the midst of hating themselves or the world itself. Tries their best to be as nice to others as they would want others to be nice to them, they are very generous and kind. They won't hesitate to spit in your face though and knows how to handle a knife very well.”

The kid puffed his chest up, anyone could tell this kid looked up to these four.

“They have a very good sense of dark humor as well, respectful, and very protective of people they care about.”

“Uhuh, okay, sounds like a little wimp. Which one are they?” Henry asked, not following this as some of the information seemed a little too personal.

“The one with the super curly hair? You know wears an orange fleece?”

“Oh yeah, Now whos the big man?”

“That's Daniel! He has a lot of issues ranging from autism to schizophrenia, no one really knows a lot of what he has just that he has a lot of mental shit he cant handle most of the time. He has medication and only takes the ones he wants to and he does bodybuilding as a hobby but not overbearingly as much as he should, he knows his limits.”

Henry's brows furrowed, as most stereotypes and his racial beliefs caused his mind to fill with disgust and marked Daniel with a label of danger.

“He's a sweet guy though, caring, buys things for you if you need them, fights the fights he never needs to, always has your back and honestly a very respectable man.”

Didn't change his feeling on Daniel.

Henry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose when the second bell rang to signal the start of class.

"How do you explain little miss plaid?" Henry asked, the kid nervously fiddling with his fingers as he answered.

"Jessica. Sweet girl, nice to everyone, she's like the knight of the group. She may be charming and she may be strong and independent but I must warn you to never trust her. She likes only 3 people and the rest of the world is dead to her. If anything she's Patrick but much more dangerous, and that's scary because she knows she's crazy and she knows she can kill but she can control it very well, to the point that it doesn't even seem like its there. Try to stay on her good side okay?"

“How do you know about Patrick’s problems?”

“Have you even looked at that boy?! He walks like a psychopath well alone looks like one!”

Henry nodded, the kid had a point.

“Last one chop, chop.”

“Second in command, Tina, Sixteens best friend, and overall sister. They connect together like glue. She's a huge nerd and a very sweet person overall. Has a very cat mentality and that's why when you see the two together tina is 7 times out of 10 annoying Sixteen for no reason. Tina is very logical and quiet, she rarely talks to anyone outside of Sixteen and nana.”

The little Henry breathed then looked down the hall to see a teacher glaring at their direction, mostly big Henry’s.

“Shit,” Bowers muttered under his breath, looking over at the kid and the kid back at him.

“Uh, Sorry sir! I was asking him a question about some of my history homework, I guess we got a bit mixed up in our conversation and missed the bell!” He stuttered out, stumbling toward the teacher. Bowers watched after him carefully in confusion, most kids would have left him with the big D.

Moving along, Henry was let off detention and the little Henry went back to class.

So far the group he had been hunting after was a bunch of softies, just asking for trouble to come to them. At lunch that day he decided to make a move, sitting in front of the leader of the group.

Sixteen looked up with a questioning look. Tired eyes and a hair full of bed head. This kid was not in a good state by the look of it. Patrick followed after, about to sit down but Jessica was a little bit faster when getting to the table, lightly pressing an open switchblade to his side. She hid it from the teachers and led both of them to sit down slowly in unison.

Henry noticed this then glared at Sixteen, who munched on the garlic bread given to them by the lunch lady.

“You need something mister man?” They asked, looking over to Jessica then to Patrick.

“Yeah, tell your goon to back off of Patrick.”

“Nah, I know you and I'm not gonna let you get under my skin or mess up my shit. Jessica told me what she saw today in the hallways earlier.” Sixteen set down their food then neatly folded their fingers together to set under their chin, “Henry was seen with you, and you didn't seem to friendly with him, yet he saved your ass nonetheless I would expect nothing less of him he's a wonderful kid.”

They took a deep breath, then lowered their voice.

“If I EVER see you near one of my kids AGAIN I will not hesitate to give you a mark on your life, and god forbid you to touch one of my kids again I will make sure you are gutted and roasted like a god damn pig in my backyard and leave you for the coyotes.”

Henry almost laughed, almost, this kid wasn't joking around.

“Can't promise you anything sweet tits,”

“You will promise me right here, right now, or ill have Jessica gut your boy right here, right now. Would you want that to come off your best man Henry?”

Patrick let in a sharp breath and mumbled something to Jessica. Her face hardened and you could see the tension build in her arm as it pressed deeper into his flesh. He seemed to be shaking, of pleasure or pain? Who knew.

Henry’s face grew red, as he looked between Patrick then Sixteen.

“Awe, is mistew bowers about to see his wittle dog get gutted in fwont of him?” Sixteen taunted, only to earn them the satisfaction of seeing the moment Henry saw nothing but red but tried in every fiber of his fucking body to remain in his seat than to launch himself across the table and strangle this bitch to death.

Sixteen smiled, it was actually sweet, then waved Jessica off. Jessica backed off but didn't leave eye contact with Patrick. When he felt the blade leave his body he stood up and quickly left to tend to his wound.

“Okay, lets talk, I got my point across to you. I don't really want anything from you than to back off being the bully. Or the hunter will become the hunted, that's my only warning.”

Henry just stared at them, eyes unfocused closing them to hide the wild and rushing rage that was surging through his veins. His hands balled into fists, shaking, and turning white.

“Deep breath bowers, in through the nose, out through the mouth. I suggest taking the steam off in a fuck or a boxing match. Ever thought of boxing before? I hear its great for anger.”

Henry flashed a glare, then saw Sixteen was being genuine in suggesting help in his obvious control problem. He stood, then left. Vic and Belch looking confused as they entered the cafeteria just to leave and run after Henry with questions.

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #OCs #Bowers gang ocs #belch huggins #reggie huggins #vic criss #victor criss #personal #im posting this to you as my new clock #screams at me #that its 1 #and i need sleep

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sherristockman · 6 years

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Medical Cannabis Offers New Hope for Those With Inflammatory Bowel Diseases Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola The marijuana plant contains more than 60 different cannabinoids; chemical compounds the human body is uniquely equipped to respond to. The two primary ones are cannabidiol (CBD) and tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the latter of which is the psychoactive component. Cannabinoids interact with your body by way of naturally occurring cannabinoid receptors embedded in cell membranes throughout your body. There are cannabinoid receptors in your brain, lungs, liver, kidneys, immune system and more.1 The therapeutic (and psychoactive) properties of marijuana occur when a cannabinoid activates a cannabinoid receptor. Your body also has naturally occurring endocannabinoids similar to THC that stimulate your cannabinoid receptors and produce a variety of important physiologic processes. So, your body is actually hard-wired to respond to cannabinoids through this unique cannabinoid receptor system, and research has proven cannabinoid receptors play an important role in many physiological processes, including metabolic regulation, pain, anxiety, bone growth and immune function.2 The earliest references to cannabis for medicinal purposes are found in the Chinese Materia Medica, which dates back to 2800 B.C. Indeed, cannabis was one of the 50 essential plants used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for thousands of years. It was only removed from widespread use in recent times due to its controversial legal status. Medical Cannabis Shown to Treat Gut Problems Considering the wide distribution of cannabinoid receptors, it's no surprise that cannabis can help alleviate common gut problems. For years, marijuana users have reported improvements in inflammatory bowel diseases (IBD) such as Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. Now, a study3,4,5 by researchers at the University of Massachusetts and the University of Bath — said to be the first of its kind — confirms there's a scientific basis for such experiences. They were able to identify the actual mechanism through which cannabis affects these gut conditions. According to Popular Science:6 "Although numerous IBD patients use cannabis products to help treat their illness, and the phenomena has been subject to some medical research, nobody knew exactly how the medically active parts of marijuana (known as cannabinoids) had an anti-inflammatory effect on irritated bowels before this study. Ironically, however, the researchers weren't even looking for this precise answer; they just happened upon it in the course of trying to understand how the healthy intestine regulates itself." Earlier research7 had revealed the presence of a chemical pathway in the epithelial layer of the gut lining that allows neutrophils (white blood cells) to cross into the gut, where they then help eradicate harmful microbes. The question was: How is balance maintained? What prevents excessive amounts of neutrophils from entering and causing damage? The answer is described in the featured study. It turns out there's yet another pathway in the epithelial cells that produces endocannabinoids, and these naturally-produced cannabinoids perform the converse function — they prevent neutrophils from entering the gut. According to the researchers, patients that do not have this second pathway are therefore at increased risk of ulcerative colitis. The existence of this endocannabinoid pathway can also help explain why marijuana has a positive effect on autoimmune disorders, as epithelial cells exist not only in your gut but also cover internal organs. As reported by Popular Science:8 "Although the current research is in mice, it points to a possible result in humans as well. It would help explain why cannabinoids seem to provide relief for people with IBD, because they perform basically the same regulatory function as the endocannabinoids would if the body were producing them itself." What Else Can Cannabis Treat? The fact that your body produces its own cannabinoids — albeit in smaller amounts than what you get when using cannabis — helps explain the medicinal effect of this ancient plant. The endocannabinoids produced by your body actually appear to perform signaling operations similar to your body's neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin. Even though research has been limited by its classification as a Schedule 1 controlled substance, its list of medicinal benefits is still quite long. For example, cannabis has been found useful in the treatment of:9,10,11,12,13 Spasticity, dystonia and tremors Rheumatoid arthritis Heart disease Multiple sclerosis and other autoimmune diseases Autism Chronic fatigue syndrome Nausea, vomiting and lack of appetite,14 including anorexia and cachexia (wasting syndrome) Glaucoma Insomnia HIV/AIDS and hepatitis C Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis Asthma High blood pressure Pain — Medical cannabis has a long history as a natural analgesic.15 In 2010, the Center for Medical Cannabis Research released a report16 on 14 clinical studies about the use of cannabis for pain, most of which were FDA-approved, double-blind and placebo-controlled. The report revealed that cannabis not only controls pain but in many cases, it does so better than pharmaceutical alternatives. In one study,17 three puffs of cannabis a day for five days decreased chronic nerve pain. Seizure disorders such as epilepsy — In January 2015, the American Academy of Pediatrics updated its policy statement on cannabis, acknowledging that cannabinoids "may currently be an option for … children with life-limiting or severely debilitating conditions and for whom current therapies are inadequate."18 Mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, stress, post-traumatic stress disorder and Tourette's syndrome — In one study,19 medical cannabis reduced symptoms of depression and perceived stress by 50 and 58 percent respectively. Of those who inhaled cannabis, over 89 percent reported a reduction in depression; nearly 94 percent reported lower anxiety and over 93 percent reported fewer stress symptoms. The greatest stress reduction was achieved after 10 puffs or more, while just two puffs reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. Other studies have shown cannabis can be very helpful for post-traumatic distress disorder.20,21 Cannabis suppresses dream recall, so for those having nightmares, it can be transformative. Cannabis is also reported to help individuals stay focused in the present, which is beneficial for those experiencing flashbacks. Neurodegenerative diseases such as dementia, Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease22 — The U.S. government, through the Department of Health and Human Services, actually holds a patent on CBD as a neuroprotectant. More specifically, animal research23 has shown THC — the psychoactive component of cannabis — has a very beneficial influence on the aging brain.24,25 Rather than dulling or impairing cognition in the elderly, THC appears to reverse the aging process and improve mental processes.26 According to one of the authors, neurobiology professor Andreas Zimmer, University of Bonn, "The treatment completely reversed the loss of performance in the old animals. We repeated these experiments many times. It's a very robust and profound effect." Even more remarkable, gene activity and the molecular profile in the brain tissue was that of much younger animals. In another study,27,28 researchers found low-dose THC directly impedes the buildup of beta amyloid plaque in the brain, which is associated with the development of Alzheimer's. THC also enhances mitochondrial function in the brain. Medical cannabis is also known to reduce some of the nonmemory-related symptoms typically experienced by Alzheimer's sufferers, including anxiety, irritability and rage,29 so cannabis may well have multiple benefits for those with dementia and Alzheimer's. It may also slow neurodegeneration caused by alcohol abuse. Opioid dependency and withdrawal — In one study,30,31,32 seniors with osteoarthritis, stenosis or chronic hip or knee pain were prescribed medical cannabis to assess the effectiveness of the herb against pain, and whether it would have any impact on opioid use. Eighteen percent of the patients moderately decreased their use of other pain killers; 20 percent significantly reduced opioid use and 27 percent stopped using opioids altogether. In all, 91 percent said they would recommend cannabis to others. Forty-five percent of the patients in this study used vaporized oil; 28 percent used pills; and 17 percent used cannabis-laced oil topically. Twenty-one percent used cannabis once a day; 23 percent twice a day; and 39 percent used it more than twice daily. Considering the fact that cannabinoids often work when pharmaceutical drugs fail, cannabis is often a more effective alternative. Another major benefit of cannabis over opioids is the fact that there's no risk of overdose or death. On the contrary, research shows a 20 percent decline in opioid overdose deaths in states that had legalized medical cannabis, suggesting legalizing medical cannabis nationwide could save up to 10,000 lives a year. The reason a cannabis overdose cannot kill you is because there are no cannabinoid receptors in your brain stem, the region of your brain that controls your heartbeat and respiration. Together, these benefits make it a lead contender in the fight against rampant opioid abuse and escalating overdose deaths.33 Cancer — Not only does cannabis help with the unpleasant side effects of traditional chemotherapy (including pain, nausea and insomnia) — actually increasing the effectiveness of chemotherapy (best results were obtained when the cannabinoids were paired with the leukemia drugs cytarabine and vincristine)34 — but the cannabis itself also appears to be a natural chemotherapy agent.35 Researchers have found cannabis is proapoptotic, meaning it triggers cellular suicide of cancer cells while leaving healthy cells untouched, and antiangiogenic, meaning it cuts off a tumor's blood supply. One study36 found cancer cells were actually "differentially sensitive to the two main active compounds in cannabis — THC and tetrahydrocannabinolic acid (THCA)." Dozens of studies point to marijuana's effectiveness against many different types of cancer, including melanoma, leukemia and cancers of the brain, breast, colon,37 prostate, lung, head and neck,38 thyroid and pituitary. Harvard researchers found THC cuts tumor growth in lung cancer while significantly reducing its ability to spread.39 Other recent research suggests CBD extracted from hemp may be helpful against ovarian cancer. Hemp and cannabis plants are in the same family but differ in their THC content. Hemp contains very little or none of this psychoactive ingredient. In one study,40 Kentucky hemp was found to reduce the ability of ovarian cancer cells to migrate, suggesting it could eventually be used to help prevent ovarian cancer metastasis. In a second study,41 Kentucky hemp reduced secretion of interleukin IL-1 beta in ovarian cancer cells, thereby lowering inflammation associated with cancer progression. What's more, the researchers found Kentucky hemp "slows ovarian cancer comparable to, or even better than, the current ovarian cancer drug Cisplatin." Educational Resources Cannabis is now legal in 30 U.S. states, plus the District of Columbia.42,43 While a majority of states allow limited use of medical cannabis under certain medical circumstances, only a few have legalized recreational use. Before you consider using a cannabis product, make sure you understand the laws and rules governing its use in your state. If the thought of legalizing medical cannabis still makes you uncomfortable, I would urge you to look at the actual research, and how doctors are using the herb in clinical practice. Dozens of studies are referenced in this article alone. The clinical use and benefits of medical cannabis are also discussed in my interviews with Dr. Margaret Gedde and Dr. Allan Frankel, while Todd Harrison, an attorney specializing in food and drug law, discusses the legal status of CBD oil. Other helpful resources include: The International Association for Cannabis website, which maintains a clinical studies and case report page44 Cancer.gov,45 the U.S. government's cancer website, contains research relating to the use of cannabis PubMed46 is a searchable public resource containing a vast amount of medical literature, including studies involving cannabis The Journal of Pain47 is a publication by the American Pain Society with a long list of studies on the pain-relieving effects of cannabis National Institute on Drug Abuse48 provides information about preclinical and clinical trials underway to test cannabis and various extracts for the treatment of a number of diseases, including autoimmune diseases such as multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease, inflammation, pain and mental disorders ProCon.org lists 60 peer-reviewed studies on medical marijuana and cannabis extracts published between 1990 and 2014, listed by the condition treated49

#VitalityPath

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adambstingus · 6 years

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30 Children of Anti-Vaxxers Tell Their Stories

At this point, it’s common knowledge that vaccines haven’t been linked with autism. Doctors have checked and checked again, but nothing credible has ever come up.

Still, there are people who identify as ‘anti-vaxxers’ and decline to vaccinate their children. Now, in a packed Reddit thread, those peoples’ children have a few things to say about it.

Check out stories from 30 children of anti-vaxxers, who each feel quite different from their parents!

One redditor always thought they had been vaccinated—until their employer discovered otherwise.

I had an idea they were anti-vaxxers, but it was never confirmed.

They mentioned my younger brother wasn’t [vaccinated] but it was “justified” because we were living in the mountains of Montana and it was too far a drive to the Doctor.

I assumed I had been as I was born in civilization and we didn’t move to the hills until I was 3.

We were homeschooled, my older brother had trouble at college with his immunizations and Mom said all the paperwork was lost when they moved.

I was 30 years old and I was offered a job at a university helping train doctors, started getting paperwork asking for proof of vaccinations, I just said test me and give me whatever I need.

But I know I’ve had Chicken Pox.

Turns out I had nothing, no antibodies and I’d never had Chicken Pox either (Mom said I had). Lit up both arms with a run of shots over the next 3 months.

Never forgot telling my boyfriend and he yelled “You’ve been to Mexico, TWICE, and Europe. Oh my god.”

Called my mom and said “Hey I’m getting a job and they say I’ve never been vaccinated. Was I?”

She got very defensive and said no, she hated making us cry as babies and they’re bad for little kids.

Also, did I really need them? She then tried to talk me out of them.

Since I know how they work I felt very okay letting her know I’d already started the process.

I’m so thankful for all of you protecting me until I found out. –sirenssong

This redditor, unfortunately, suffered the consequences of a disease for which a vaccine exists.

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Mom got rubella when pregnant with me. As a result, I was born severely deaf so there ya go.

Life’s not the best. –strangeunluckyfetus

This person’s parent had to see them with measles to understand the importance of vaccination.

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I got measles, as a 22-year-old, in my first week of moving to London.

I’d previously lived up north, and on my first day of working immediately after finishing uni, I began feeling lethargic. By the second day, I felt pretty bad but soldiered on.

Third day, I began taking (fairly effective) painkillers for the remainder of the week. Saturday, attended a local fair, after taking my morning painkiller.

Had a bottle of beer with my dad and felt very strange afterward, almost floaty but in a kinda bad way.

Decided to stop taking the painkillers, woke up with a raging fever and intense coughing on Sunday.

Hobbled out of bed, feeling dizzy and horrible and noticed in the mirror of the bathroom that I looked like an Oompa Loompa (red splotchy rash all over).

My step mum had been feeling similar symptoms that week, she decided to call an ambulance, who checked both of our conditions and turned out I had a raging (41c) fever and low oxygen.

They took me to A&E and I was given fluids via a drip.

Later, my step mum came in and was given the same treatment; the doctor on call said it’d probably be a general viral infection.

At home, took the week off work and recovered. Step mum took off two weeks. She went back to A&E a couple of days after; the doctor on duty immediately spotted that it was measles.

Thing is, in England if you get it, an organization called Public Health England has to be legally informed by your doctor, which informs your workplace about your illness.

Cue an embarrassing email being sent by your new boss to everyone in your company before you’ve even met most of your colleagues.

Took a while to recover. In a week I felt well enough to be out and about. You’re only infectious when you have the rash (and a little before and after).

I still felt out of whack for several weeks. This happened in July, and I didn’t feel quite fully recovered until October or so.

Obviously, neither myself or my step mum had been vaccinated with the MMR. My dad and sisters had had it as children. We immediately got both jabs, after we were told how painful mumps could be.

Strongly recommend everyone gets the MMR vaccine. It’s straightforward and time-honored.

Measles is unpleasant and can cause complications in adults. My intense coughing almost certainly caused some lung damage, and my hair just kind of… fell out in the months following.

Save yourselves!

My graduation ceremony was a couple of weeks after this. My actual mum saw how ill measles had left me and changed her mind on vaccinations.

Shame it had to be that way, though. –AdamJay26

It’s a good thing medical professionals are often ready to help kids of anti-vaxxers, even later in life than usual.

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My parents chose not to vaccinate my sister and me. They have some… unique ideas about science and medicine.

We were also homeschooled if that clarifies anything.

We both wound up volunteering at hospitals at different points in our lives, so we had to get caught up anyway. For me, it was at age 20, for an internship at a mental health facility.

It was a little awkward explaining to the nurse why I had nothing on my record, but she was understanding overall.

My big concern now is what will happen when I get around to having children of my own in a few years.

I think they’ll see me as a bad mother if I get them vaccinated, so I’m anticipating some fireworks. –Arihagne

This redditor’s struggle wasn’t for their own vaccination, but their parents’.

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I was vaccinated when I was a baby as part of a mandatory vaccination program in the Soviet Union, but my parents wouldn’t vaccinate/get boosters after we moved to the States.

My family is pathologically distrustful of doctors and medication of any kind and prefers homeopathy and alternative medicines.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t fully vaccinated until I went in for a physical in college.

Up till then, I’d just assumed I’d been fully vaccinated in Russia (Because that’s what my parents told me).

I got all my shots up to date and I just never mentioned it to my parents.

Their anti-medicine stance has softened as they age, but I generally avoid the topic because I can’t handle their bullshit and it never goes anywhere anyway.

That said, I had a baby this past December in the middle of a really bad flu season and I told my parents that they weren’t allowed to see the baby until they could produce proof of a flu shot (this is absolutely something they’d lie about, so yes, I demanded written proof).

They both got one as soon as they realized I was serious. –Kookalka

Next up, another redditor gave their parent the same choice…and the answer wasn’t so peaceful.

This person’s mother had a different answer to the ‘get vaccinated for my baby’ ultimatum.

I said the same thing, and my mum opted not to see the baby for 3 months. Bizarre life choices.

Ultimately she hasn’t had a lot to do with raising her grandson, which might be for the best.

To her credit, she is honest. –actuallyarobot2

When in doubt, go with science.

I was not vaccinated as a child because my mother thought vaccines were evil, unchristian, and other ridiculous things.

This was in the early ’80s before all the autism BS, but she had her own unique theories. I got myself vaccinated when I went to university.

My mother was disappointed and wanted to write a letter to the school explaining her religious views on vaccines (as she had done for years to keep me exempt), but I decided to go with science. –squeezymarmite

Even a medical degree didn’t change this redditor’s anti-vaxxer parents.

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I didn’t receive any vaccinations through childhood due to my parents’ beliefs.

Once I got to college, I did my own research on them, learned the actual science behind them, and got all vaccinations.

I then went to medical school, and yet they still don’t believe me and my medical degree regarding vaccinations.

Holidays can get awkward. –guardian528

Starting college without your vaccines adds an extra few hurdles.

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When I was 19, I had to get some vaccines in order to start college, and my mom was NOT helpful.

First, she tried to get me exempt from the vaccines, and when that didn’t work, she sent me into the clinic (alone) with completely false/outdated info.

I was super embarrassed when the nurses looked at my notes and told me that none of it was correct.

But luckily they helped me figure out what I needed and didn’t shame me too much for not having a previous vaccination record. A couple years later I went back in to get the rest of the recommended vaccines.

My sister had her first kid (and the first grandbaby) last year, and our mom has been pushing her not to vaccinate. Fortunately, my sister has chosen to vaccinate.

She still is trying to get us to watch a documentary about it to change our minds.

Now all us kids just don’t talk to our mom about vaccines because it always turns into an argument. –itsshamefulreally

And the process of applying to college is hard enough without parents interfering.

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[My mom] sabotaged me getting into the college I wanted simply because they did not accept religious exemptions and she couldn’t trick any doctors into signing a health exemption.

I wanted to go do it myself, but they were through accepting applications by then, and I was desperate to go to some college, so I found a different one. –eXpialidocious_

On the next page, one child of the anti-vaxxers has a response to an anti-vaccination “documentary” that made the rounds a few years ago.

There’s an anti-vaccination film called ‘Vaxxed’ (made by an ex-doctor whose license was revoked), and these redditors are NOT about it.

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We had our first child at the very beginning of the year and had to tell my father that since he won’t get vaccinated, he won’t be able to see his grandbaby until the baby gets their shots.

The baby had their first round of shots a few months ago, and my father can now visit. It pained me to do that, and I know it pained him, but I was not putting my child at risk for his choice.

This last weekend we visited my father. At the end of the visit, he handed me Vaxxed.

He knows our feelings on the matter – preventable diseases should be prevented, herd immunity protects those most at risk, autism is not caused by vaccines.

It’s just… disrespectful.

I know he thinks he’s trying to protect his grandson from harm, but it’s coming from the completely wrong direction, and no one can seem to change his opinion on the matter. –humplick

More often than not, anti-vaxxer parents are trying to protect their kids—until they realize where the real danger is.

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My mum didn’t get the measles vaccination because at the time she thought it caused autism; she was kinda one of the first anti-vaxxers, wrote to papers about it everything.

Anyway, a girl in our social group caught meningitis and died, basically freakishly uncommon.

After that, mum was really scared the same thing could happen to me with any disease and basically begged me to get up to date with my shots.

I guess the main takeaway is that when my mum was younger and inexperienced, she thought everything was a danger; she honestly thought she was doing best by me, I guess. –bellend_bellend

This redditor’s mother eventually turned it around herself!

My parents didn’t give us the whooping cough vaccine under the advisement of our pediatrician.

I actually didn’t know this until last year, so I went and got vaccinated on my mom’s recommendation. She wrote my siblings and me the following email to bring it up:

As a parent, you are bound to make many mistakes.

For me, not having the advantage of younger siblings, the internet, or (initially) many friends with babies, I think I learned to parent on the fly.

At the time, there seemed to be a compelling reason not to include the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine along with whatever else was the recommended protocol for infants under the age of one year.

I think we had read that it was one vaccine too many to be included in the series, and our first pediatrician felt strongly that it might have harmful side effects.

Gramps had told me that he remembered having whooping cough as a child, and although it was harrowing, he survived.

Draw your own conclusions here!

However, I would now hope that you all might consider following up with your doctors to see if you should be vaccinated now as adults.

Out of guilt, I’d be willing to sweeten the deal by paying for whatever isn’t covered by your healthcare. (Tetanus shots, flu shots, etc. aren’t a bad idea either, although you’re on your own there!)

Also, I want to apologize to [Sister], [Sister] and [Brother] for the time we went to the geneticist who took punch core samples of your skin for testing.

We had no idea–and there’s no excuse for our ignorance–that it would be a process painfully administered without anesthesia. I feel traumatized to this day, so I can’t imagine how awful it was for you.

I was reminded of those procedures recently when I heard Nobel Prize-winning geneticist, George Church tell his story on The Moth: My Life as a Guinea Pig.

I love you all dearly!

So, I didn’t get them on my own in contradiction to my parents’ decisions, but at their request, after they realized they had made a mistake. –affixqc

Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about concerns—they’ve done this many times before.

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When my daughter was born, we were terrified of the mercury. We asked a doctor, who explained everything to us clearly.

The poor doc had that look though— “Oh shit, not this again”… –cat_of_danzig

In fact, this redditor got an idea of how much doctors have to explain the necessity of vaccinations.

When we had our first kid, we were shopping around for a pediatrician, and I was astounded how many doctors specifically told us they would only be our general doc if the children were vaccinated.

I had no idea how often they must have that conversation.

Apparently, in some places, the percent of anti-vaxxer parents is as high as 10%.

The number of parents who are reluctant to give their kids vaccines can be as high as 25%. –dsf900

Keep reading for a crazy story of how far one parent went to prevent their child from receiving certain types of medical attention.

Sometimes understanding takes a while, and now this redditor needs all their shots together.

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My parents were very against it.

Never particularly vocal about it, but growing up, my schools would organize mass vaccinations for all the kids (MMR, etc.) and I was always mysteriously off sick those days.

My school never noticed, and I was always pretty happy as I have a terrible phobia of needles and never really understood the health implications.

I’ve never had any health problems, but I’ve had partners weirded out by it. I was dating one guy who didn’t want to go near me once he found out I hadn’t had any vaccinations. That felt odd.

Last year there was a measles outbreak at my university, and I was very nervous about it.

Called my parents for advice and their response? “Go get the vaccine.”

Classic.

I’m guessing their opinions have changed over the years, but they’re too proud to say outright that maybe they were wrong and their children’s health could now be at risk.

About time I got the rest of them done! –1742587

This redditor’s mother was not only anti-vaccination, but anti-doctor altogether. It resulted in a medical emergency.

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My mother is just plain crazy when it comes to medical topics, and thinks that hospitals and doctors only want your money.

So I was never vaccinated. For a little insight into the craziness, when I was 14, I was a breath away from dying from a burst appendix.

My mother refused to take me to the hospital despite the pain.

It was only when I started urinating blood that my father said he was taking me to the hospital. I was in and out of consciousness while he carried me to the car.

My mom physically fought him as he carried me.

I was medevaced to a larger hospital and had emergency surgery. The doctor told me in recovery that the infection was spreading to other organs, and my body was starting to shut down.

If it had been a couple of hours or more, it would have been too late.

Fast forward four years later when I joined the Army…the gauntlet of shots I received to get all the vaccinations was something else.

I literally walked almost naked down a row with multiple medical staff on each side poking me with needles everywhere as I was told to keep walking forward and not stop.

I am 35 now and feel just as healthy now as I did as a kid.

Never had any other issues except for a hernia from strenuous exercise. Vaccinations do more good than harm. –Kukulcan83

Lack of vaccination lead to a terrible bout of whooping cough for this redditor—and four siblings!

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My parents used to not vaccinate me or any of my four siblings, but when I was like three years old me, and my siblings all came down with whooping cough.

It scarred my lungs, and I have yellow stains on my teeth because the high fevers cooked my adult teeth inside my head. My parents vaccinated us after that.

I am not and have never been mad or spiteful toward my parents for not vaccinating me.

They were just naive, and doing what they thought was best for my siblings and me. –Volcano_gurl

Herd immunity is the key to ridding ourselves of dangerous contagious diseases.

What people don’t understand about vaccination is it isn’t just there to protect the vaccinated.

It protects the “herd” (herd immunity); the people who can’t be vaccinated for whatever reason.

This is part of the reason being vaccinated if you’re able to be is so important. You’re not only protecting yourself.

You’re protecting those around you whose immune systems aren’t up to it and could be hugely negatively impacted by their fellow neighbors refusing for their own uneducated reasons. –hihelloneighboroonie

This child of anti-vaxxers has plenty of reason to discontinue tradition.

My dad was the anti-vaxxer, my mom was mostly ambivalent. Neither my brother or I were vaccinated at birth, and I didn’t get my shots until I turned 19.

My brother had to get a tetanus shot once when he was six, due to an injury. It burned my dad up for a while.

His reasoning was typical: he believed that the mercury in the vaccines would cause us to somehow develop autism.

My parents were also pretty hippy-dippy compared to most baby boomers, so they were concerned about chemicals and all that as well.

Jokes on them, though, because both my brother and I have [Aspergers] regardless of being unvaccinated.

It was always a pain in the ass whenever we had to do school-related paperwork or field trip stuff because my parents would have to produce a letter stating that it was their “religious right” to keep us “untainted” by vaccination (we were never a religious family).

I wasn’t a super sickly child (with a few exceptions), but my younger brother suffered a lot.

He got pneumonia when he was little, like 3-4. They had to keep him in the hospital and I remember my dad taking care of me at home while my mom stayed in the room with my brother.

About a year or two after that he got walking pneumonia and again was hospitalized.

He’s also allergic to damn near everything and has bad asthma now. He has epilepsy, and we both have chronic migraines.

I never had anything seriously life-threatening in terms of illness, but there was a nearly yearlong period where I had strep throat almost every other week.

I should have had my tonsils out (they wanted to intubate me at one point but for whatever reason changed their minds?), but my dad threw a fit about having any surgeries performed.

I also developed shingles when I was 13, which my father initially treated as poison ivy and left mostly untreated until my mother intervened.

I still have little to no feeling on swatches of the left side of my body from the blister scars. That sucked.

I did, however, have to get my vaccinations when I turned 18 and enrolled in college. He was not pleased about that, and actually, we didn’t talk for almost a year because of my decision to get vaccinated.

Eventually, we worked things out, but it took a while. I’ll be vaccinating any children I may have in the future, though.

Tl;dr: wasn’t vaccinated until I chose to do so myself as a legal adult bc parents were afraid of autism.

My brother and I were sick a lot as a kid, with some really preventable and stupid illnesses. I plan on vaccinating any children I have. –Larktoothe

Keep reading to see how one member of Reddit shut down their family’s objections like a boss!

Here’s how one redditor put it to their anti-vaxxer grandpa:

My grandpa is convinced on the whole vaccines cause autism thing.

When I was pregnant with my first kid, he harped on it so much until I finally said, “it doesn’t cause autism, but even if it did I would still do it. I’d rather have an autistic kid than a dead one.”

Shut him up fairly well. –HCGB

This child of anti-vaxxers changed their mind about it after seeing the effects first-hand.

My mom is against vaccines, and I grew up in a very anti-vaccine school and was treated by homeopathic and holistic doctors.

I used to believe all that. Then I started med school and changed my mind to “vaccines aren’t bad, but they aren’t necessary.”

Then I did a rotation at a pediatric hospital in the neurological area. That was a huge eye opener!! Meningitis is an awful disease, and anti-vaxxers never talk about it.

The children I saw were the ones that survived and had brain damage afterward.

It was awful to see kids that could have had a perfectly normal life to end up like that. –anesthesiagirl

This redditor got their MMR vaccine in the nick of time.

My parents were against the MMR vaccination as my older brother was diagnosed with Aspergers shortly after he received it.

I’m the youngest child and so never got the jab, even though mumps actually caused my mum to go half deaf as a teenager.

It always made me uncomfortable knowing I wasn’t protected and I was of a strong mind to do it eventually, but of course it’s hard going against your parents’ beliefs when they felt so strongly at what had happened to them.

To me it felt like a form of denial of the autism in the family, which they see as much worse than it is—my brother is an amazing guy, and they should give him more credit.

Before you go to Uni you have to get a meningitis jab; while I was at the doctor’s, the doctor suggested giving me the MMR.

I told her my parents were against it and she said she’d give it to me now and then in a few months I could tell them and prove that I was absolutely fine. So I did that.

A few months after receiving the full vaccination, my flatmate and close friend got diagnosed with rubella.

It spread all over her body causing glandular and scarlet fever, she spent over a month in the hospital and was in a fatal position.

If I hadn’t done it at that moment, I could’ve been in serious trouble. And rubella isn’t common here at all.

So if in doubt about going behind their backs, do it for yourself and your own safety, and that’s the only excuse you need. –lazyswayz

Pro tip: protect yourself from cancer wherever you can.

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When the HPV vaccine came out, there was a bunch of stories on the news about girls having poor reactions to it, getting seizures, comas.

Most of it nonsense, but my mother saw the news stories and chose not to get me vaccinated. But then, right after college I had a brief bout of thyroid cancer and decided I would take every precaution I could to not get more cancer.

So I got the shots. I think at the time I didn’t tell my mom, but afterward, it came up.

She was more huffy than anything else, and defended her thoughts at the time, but accepted my decision and reasoning. –xrf_rcc

This redditor caught three diseases that could have been prevented with one shot.

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My parents never explicitly said they were anti-vaccine to me, but I was never vaccinated as a child.

I actually caught Measles, Mumps, and Rubella on separate occasions, luckily diagnosed quickly enough to not cause any major health implications long term, but still a pretty miserable experience each time.

So yeah, thanks for that. –otto82

Finally, read up on the next page about one redditor’s reliance on ‘herd immunity’ (and family troubles because of it), plus an Autistic person’s response to anti-vaxxer concerns.

One redditor can’t even visit the in-laws.

I am immunosuppressed due to transplant, and my husband’s side of the family are anti-vaxxers.

I don’t think they believe I’m serious about not attending family gatherings ever again.

I know I can bump into a nonvaccinated person by just being out in public, but if I can avoid a known risk, I’m going to do it.

Thank you, everyone, who’s had their shots for helping keep me alive and healthy!! –auntiepink

Tragedy turned this redditor’s mom into an anti-vaxxer.

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My story is a bit complex. My mother is an avid anti-vaxxer, but didn’t become that way until after my late sister died.

She blamed the vaccines she got a few weeks before her death (she was 3 months old) for it, instead of the SIDS tragedy it was.

My next youngest sibling was ‘allergic’ to eggs, and so didn’t get any vaccines until she was 8, after my parents were divorced and we had to move to a new state with new laws.

My two youngest siblings have never been vaccinated against anything. –MomentoMoriBenn

Even if vaccinations and autism were linked (they aren’t), autistic people are here to tell us it’s not the worst thing that could happen.

As an autistic person here as well it hurts to know that so many parents think it’s the worst possible thing that could happen to their child.

I would think dying of measles ranks a bit higher on that scale. –el1414

This redditor had a scare after a childhood of anti-vaccination rhetoric.

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My mom had a child who became brain damaged during birth due to a hole in the umbilical cord.

She became convinced that there was some malpractice cover-up and gradually that all of medicine is one big conspiracy.

I stopped getting vaccines around 10 due to a mysterious ailment I had that turned out to be recurrent benign positional paroxysmal vertigo.

For some reason, doctors couldn’t figure it out and thought I had brain cancer.

My mom became convinced it was vaccine-related, and claimed she “traced my vaccine” and it was a “bad batch” that had killed a boy who got it.

I stopped getting vaccines and turned in forms to school every year claiming “personal objection” exemption from all vaccines from that point on.

I ended up deciding to become a biomedical scientist and enrolled in a Ph.D. program.

The Hep B vaccine was recommended for all students, and I received the first course of the vaccine…and then mentioned it to my mom.

She FLIPPED OUT.

She told me she couldn’t believe I would do something so stupid, and that there were so many bad reactions I could have and they didn’t all happen immediately.

I started reading horror stories online about bad Hep B shot reactions. And I panicked.

I really thought I may have done something really stupid.

This was pretty ironic since I was in a science Ph.D. program, but I was still making sense of what part of my childhood brainwashing was true and still coming to my own belief system.

In my hesitation/uncertainty, I failed to get the next dose of the Hep B shot in the required time window. I did intend to get it, but I forgot about it in the craziness of grad school.

Fast forward to my 3rd year; I was studying liver cancer and working with a liver cancer cell line called Hep3B.

I was reading the literature and stumbled on a paper that said that scientists had found that Hep3B cells are infected…with LIVE HEPATITIS B VIRUS.

That was really terrifying because I had been working with them for months and definitely had not taken the precautions you are supposed would take if you are working with active human pathogens.

The fact that I passed up a free HepB shot and could have stupidly contracted HepB really crystallized the importance of vaccines for me that day.

I didn’t ever have obvious symptoms of HepB, but nonetheless, I worried that I might have it up until I got pregnant with my daughter and tested negative during the prenatal tests.

Needless to say, my daughter has gotten 100% of her vaccines and will continue to. I chose for her a pediatrician who refuses to see patients who don’t get all of their vaccines on schedule.

I don’t even want to share a waiting room with unvaxxed kids. –the_real_dairy_queen

Some parents have selective hearing when it comes to vaccines.

My mum was completely against vaccinations.

I only got the MMR by mistake because they didn’t ask the parents – just lined us up outside the library and we went in one by one.

She was furious when I told her what had happened.

I caught whooping cough at age 34, and it was hell.

My partner hates her for putting me through that. I’ve since had a few vaccinations for travel, as has my younger sister.

Neither of us would ever tell our mother that we have had them though.

There was a slight hint a few years back, and she was already through the roof before my sister corrected herself and lied to cover the mention.

We will never tell her. –realbasilisk

Like this story? Share and spread the word of these redditors’ firsthand accounts of the dangers associated with a lack of vaccinations.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/30-children-of-anti-vaxxers-tell-their-stories/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/176965626227

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