#and they do all those intimate things couples do platonically

[helmarok]

this means so much to me actually for real

[lunahearts]

Soooo I read all of Dungeon Meshi in this past week and I have many thoughts bouncing around in my brain and I think the only thing to do with them is some AGGRESSIVELY CLOSE READING of a scene I wanted to come back to and try to understand better.

So: I want to talk about chapter 28

This entire section of the story is something I feel like I am going to want to come back to a lot, because its such a transitional time and I feel like there are a lot of themes/ideas that I wasn't fully aware of during my first reading, and stuff I missed because of that.

One of the biggest things I have been turning over in my head is... hey, what was UP with the Marcille/Falin bath scene? Maybe it was because I was already primed to pay attention to stuff with them going into the story, or because I had already seen a couple of panels out of context. In any case, it really kind of stuck out to me as being very short but also VERY intense, while also being... hard for me to define? Some part of the nature of the intensity felt like it was going over my head.

I wasn't sure that revisiting it would help with this right away, but to my surprise, it actually WAS a lot easier for me to follow and understand when I went back to it. So I want to just do a close reading of That Scene and some other parts of the chapter & context around it all, because I think it offers insight into Falin & her relationships, and what purpose this chapter serves within the story as a whole.

So first of all, I think it's interesting that the scene starts with Marcille bathing Falin.

It feels very caring in a more platonic, less charged way then what will follow.

Marcille goes from this caretaker mode to joining Falin in the bath, and then of course we get the first of The Panels

(as a small note, I only noticed when revisiting that Marcille is using the rest of her Kelpie soap in the bath. Isn't that just the most heartwrenching little detail. Augh)

Anyway, one of the first things I thought was interesting going back to this is how much it reminded me of the very different sort of intimacy that came just before it - when Laios and Marcille assembled Falin's bones.

This is such a beautiful and intimate sequence, and something about Marcille examining Falin, whole, after the fact... I can't imagine there are not some echoes of those bones in Marcille's mind. The action seems more startling/intense for Falin at first, and maybe part of that is because Marcille has already experienced this level of intimacy with Falin's body in a way Falin herself wasn't a part of.

This panel in particular I think is a summation of the difference in the experience for them. This looks like... near orgasmic for Falin tbh, and Marcille is very focused on the actual like practical part of what she's doing, seemingly completely unaware of the Effect she is having on Falin.

The whole short sequence is focused on this intimacy that Marcille initiated seemingly without fully being aware of what she was actually doing. And once Marcille is satisfied, she is also the one that ends it, sitting back in the bath and moving out of Falin's proximity. All on her own terms, and for her own ends.

HOWEVER... Falin doesn't just let things go.

Instead, she returns Marcille's attention. First, by asking after her wellbeing:

Marcille, of course, deflects (there will be a lot of that in this scene).

But Falin doesn't let it go.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She likes to keep the peace. In this context, and in context of the way that Marcille was the one to come into Falin's space initially, the way that Marcille controlled the initial intimacy... this is striking. I genuinely think that these three panels might convey one of the most assertive actions Falin (as herself) takes in the entire story. One of the only things that outdoes it is the fucking INCITING INCIDENT OF THE WHOLE STORY.

I'd also like to point out here that this action of Falin's also parallels her resurrection by Marcille & Laios. It's is also a forbidden magical action done to save someone(s) she loves, and its something she does TO them, that they are not fully aware/able to react to until its done.

Anyway, back to the bath scene. Falin is taking action here and asserting herself. And how does Marcille react?

She flips out!! She rejects it! She tells Falin that she isn't supposed to be acting like that.

It's a very distancing response from Marcille, and also one that puts her back in that caretaker mode from the start of the scene. She also puts even more distance between herself and Falin by sinking into the water.

Falin doesn't give up though! She continues to assert herself. She's okay, she is allowed to chose to do this.

And Marcille continues to push her away. It looks to me like she only starts to relax a little once she fits Falin into a role she can better define and control. You're a patient, you're recovering, I understand this fact and you don't. Let me take care of you.

But, for a third time, Falin pushes back.

I don't think it’s coincidence that this is where she opens her eyes. She asks directly about the thing that they have both been dancing around:

The resurrection spell. The fact that Falin KNOWS about this, at least in part, recontextualizes the quiet battle for control between the two them. They both know at least some part of the truth. Marcille wants nothing else then to ignore it. Falin wants to be able to talk about it. Marcille's blatant refusal to give her those answers, I think, is what keeps them out of sync - intimate only ever in one direction at a time, never fully together.

And of course, even when directly confronted, Marcille refuses to engage with the truth.

This moment being on the bottom of the page is notable too. There's a beat here. The last panel holds on Falin's face. The reader reaches the bottom of the page, and they are held here for a beat as well, with Falin. It's not quite a rejection yet. What Marcille says isn't directly an answer to Falin's question, but it is a response. A valid one, even! Falin wasn't just asking the question after all, but struggling with guilt that Marcille has every reason to want to reject.

But then you move on the next page, and...

Marcille isn't actually addressing the question at all, not directly. She's deflecting, again. Oh we had a ~difficult time~, there were a lot of "tough situations." Even though she and Falin both know about the resurrection, and Falin has made it clear that she wants to talk about it, Marcille pushes away from the actual topic. She keeps things broad and indirect.

She offers the smallest gesture to Falin - nothing more than a whisper of 'don't worry about it I won't get in trouble' (even though Falin's concern was never just about Marcille getting in trouble).

Marcille then continues to deflect even further, completely changing the subject onto clothes and frog adventures, which seems to distract Falin as well, as she finally gives up on pushing.

And that's where the scene ends! Marcille pushes into Falin's space (without fully realizing), and Falin pushes back. She tries three times to get Marcille to acknowledge her wants, and three times Marcille rejects her, though she does eventually convey some truth. She is honest in her belief that Falin doesn't need to feel guilty, and that things will all work out, even as she continues to deflect the rest of the question. Falin finally accepts that, the topic of conversation changes, and we move on.

But there is a little bit more that happens between them. Towards the end of the chapter, they have this little 'oh no we have to share a bed' situation. Classic stuff.

And Falin seems to realize that the context of this is kinda different now then it was when they were in the magic academy. She's not a kid any more, and they just had those intimate moments in the bath. There's a new tension between them, or one that new at least to the bed sharing of it all.

And in this respect, too Marcille pulls away from what Falin is trying to say. She tries to frame Falin as a kid, tries to insist that nothing is different.

When I first got to this part, it honestly felt... a little uncomfortable? After the bath scene, it is really weird to move into a new intimate situation with Marcille explicitly treating Falin as a kid.

What I have realized in coming back to this scene, though, is how much I think its meant to feel uncomfortable. Throughout the chapter, Marcille's responses to Falin become increasingly patronizing. By letting some of that conflict between them resolve at the end of the first scene, the chapter seems to let things rest, and lets you set it out of your mind.

Then, when the same type of conflict comes back at the end of the chapter, Marcille is even more blatantly treating Falin like a kid, and the unfairness of it hits even stronger. They are both adults, and Falin deserves the truth. After 27 chapters from the perspective of Laios, Marcille, and the others in the group, this progression lets you feel things from Falin's perspective. It's supposed to feel uncomfortable because it IS uncomfortable for Falin, the way no one will quite tell her the truth.

After all, Marcille isn't the only one to do this kind of deflecting when Falin tries to ask about what happened. Laios has a similar response, right down to the 'treating her a bit like a kid' part.

Even more importantly, this final conversation of the chapter reveals one last layer in the knowledge/power imbalance between Falin and the rest of the party: she doesn't actually remember sacrificing herself and teleporting them out.

As I mentioned before, that action was one of the most assertive things we see Falin do in the story, and she doesn't even get to keep that for herself. Instead of being her action, her choice, it becomes yet another thing that the others know more about than her.

I think that's part of why there is such an air of melancholy to this hug they share on the next page

Obviously, obviously, there are so many emotions here for Laios and I don't think its all meant to be viewed as a negative thing, or that he or Marcille are being completely unreasonable. They've been through a lot, and what's more, they think they have time now. So much more time then they actually will have. Time to explain, to open up, to let Falin return to the group in full - as a teammate and not just as someone to be cared for and protected.

But they don't get time. And this relenting by Falin, this "I won't do it again," it's not something that feels triumphant. It's an attempt to comfort them, more a prayer than a promise. As if she is trying to exorcise a spirit. As if she is capable of promising that death won't come, eventually. It's what Laios needs, not what she wants.

That's the real tragedy of the chapter, I think. It's the one time, in the midst of everything, that they have the chance to give Falin what she wants - and they don't do it.

But I do think they realize that, and I think that this failure is a core part of their journey. It's another bittersweet taste to add to the mix - all the missed chances in this chapter to connect, amidst the moments of genuine peace they do get throughout it.

As Laios puts it later...

If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, and perhaps if they hadn't failed her here, they never would have had the adventure that they got to share.

(or, perhaps more tactfully: in life & chapter 28, there are both good times and bad. Thanks, Chilchuk)

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hi! I would love to request some cuddling scenarios with Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox!

SOFT MOMENT OF NON SEXUAL INTIMACY?! IN THIS HOUSE?! Yes, please!

It's implied romantic but could be queer platonic or a queer/nontraditional couple.

Lucifer

This man wants snuggles. Any way he can get them any time, he isn't required to not be physically attached to you. He really struggles with derealization/depersonalization. His depression gets bad, he isolates, and time has pretty much lost meaning to him after being around so long, so he just kinda, wastes away into sadness. It's how he and Charlie fell apart the first time, and he really doesn't want it to happen again.

Having you around to just talk to, hold hands with, sit on your lap, or you in his, it helps. It's like a reminder that he's still alive and someone wants to be around him. Someone wants to spend time with him. That you care. It also motivates him to stay in contact with Charlie instead of convincing himself she's better without him.

He still loves Lillith, regrets they aren't together, but he doesn't blame her for leaving. He's more upset with how it affects Charlie. So he makes extra effort to spend time with you, to acknowledge how important you are to him. He's so paranoid about ruining this relationship. This man has centuries of being told everything is his fault, everything wrong with the world, and is forced to face that supposed truth every day he rules Hell.

His favorite thing is just pulling you on top of him like a weighted blanket, wrapping his wings around the both of you, and laying in a dark, warm, cocoon. He'll take deep breaths, pet your hair, and just let himself finally relax. The first few times you'd stayed quiet, assuming that's what he wanted, but it just makes it easier for him to disassociate.

Now you talk to him, softly, about your day, ask about his. You slowly get him to open up about his favorite things, good memories he has of Lillith, baby Charlie, the sins, times before the Fall. It's a long process to get him to talk about it. Please be patient and gentle with him. He likes when you play with his fingers while he talks, just holding his hand and twisting and turning it, moving his rings around, just don't touch his wedding ring please, maybe you even manage to do his nails in this position.

His second favorite is when you help preen his feathers, gently massaging his wing joints, polishing each feather with the oil from his glands, using your thumbs to work out knots in the muscles around the base. It always turns into a full back massage that leaves him purring, making happy sighing sounds and little moans. He usually falls asleep like this. Don't worry though, once he wakes up, he's definitely returning the favor. He does head massages too! He prepares a little personal spa day for you.

He isn't really looking for anything more intimate when he's in one of sadder moods and is cuddling with you to feel better, he wouldn’t turn it down, he's too afraid you'd be upset, but he really just wants to be held or to hold someone. It's the little things that really make you special to him, and he cherishes every second you guys are together.

Alastor

We all know Alastor isn't a fan of being touched unless he initiates it. There are very few exceptions to this, so you have to be pretty close to him to even get the option to cuddle him.

You'll have to start slow, like holding his hand. A lot of people think he's the type to not want to do too much PDA, but like, look at how he is with Rosie and Mimzy in front of everyone. He doesn't care. Not for small things like hand holding. This eventually leads to him putting his arm around your waist as you're walking together, or around your shoulders if you're sitting next to each other so you can lean on his shoulder.

Now more intimate gestures, like cheek kisses, forehead kisses, petting his ears, those are private. He will resist at first, preferring to lavish you with attention, but be stubborn, match his energy, especially the witty banter, and eventually you'll wear him down.

It's canon that Alastor's hardly ever sleeps, so I imagine if you're a motherly type, (regardless of gender), or someone he genuinely trusts (because its not about if he's safe. He's the Radio Demon, very few sinners are a threat to him, so being a little vulnerable with you is safe no matter the level of trust) he's going to pass out.

You're in his room (or yours, but he prefers his) and he agreed to let you pet his ears. You settle on the bed, his head on your chest or lap, and he closes his eyes, soft jazz music playing from some unseen source, and maybe you're watching something on your phone, (he allows it only if it's something he can enjoy as well, but he usually winds up listening more than watching because screens hurt his eyes after awhile) more likely you're listening to a podcast, Alastor likes listening to true crime with you.

Your fingers gently run through his hair at first. You tease him about the bob sometimes, but understand that he's prone to pulling his hair out otherwise. Eventually you notice the music has stopped and Alastor's fast asleep, the smile on his face is so small it nearly doesn't exist, and his breathing is slow and even. His ears twitch when you stop petting them, and he stirs a bit, so you quickly resume playing with them and he falls back asleep.

(His tail is sensitive too, if you ever wanna fluster him, just run a finger down his spine to that cute little tail and give it a gentle tug.)

Alastor is also prone to play biting, so if you're an excited nibbler who gives noms, expect your cuddles to end up with a few bite marks.

Vox

It's really hard for him to sit still long, so if he's working late and you want to spend time with him, just crawl yourself into his lap and get comfy. He'll grumble and complain about the distraction, but it's all for show. He'll put his arm around your waist and trace your hipbones with his thumb, or play with your hair, run his fingers up and down your back, just small fidgety things.

He understands his head is inconvenient for snuggles, and he may not be the most comfortable. (I headcanon his body is built like the Detroit Become Human bots, with like silicone padding to appear/feel like skin, but it's hard plastic and metal and wires underneath with biomechanical parts inside.)

He is warm, though, and has the constant hum of his internal fans and electricity, so he's great for sensory snuggles. He's great for when you're sore or have migraines (surprisingly, but he can turn his brightness down at will). He likes to do more traditional forms of PDA.

He walks with his hand on your lower back. (He and Alastor both absolutely do the subconscious walk with their partners on the inside and them closest to the streets or alleyways. Lucifer would, but he probably isn't even aware it's a thing.)

You're cooking/baking/doing anything with your back to him, he puts his hands on your waist and leans against you. He's 7ft tall so he probably won't lean his entire body on you, but enough to feel close to you.

His favorite snuggles are disgustingly domestic. Like, his all time favorite, is when you're both sitting together on a couch, enjoying a movie or show, or maybe you're reading or on your phone or gaming, and he's working, just anytime you're occupying the couch together and existing, he'll pull your feet into his lap and massage them.

It's not like, a fetish thing, he just thinks it's sweet. A nice gesture to show how much he appreciates what you do, how hard you work. He'll massage your ankles and calfs too. He's also prone to trying to play with your hair and massage your scalp when you're laying on his chest at night, but his claws get tangled easily. Settles for rubbing your shoulders/back.

He likes when you rub his back and neck too. The man spends way too much time hunched over his desk at work. His back aches from doing the gremlin hunch over his desk to standing ramrod straight in front of cameras, sitting properly and confidently, stiff as a fucking board. You once teased him about how he could just use one of his cardboard cutouts as a stand-in, and no one would know.

Other times, he likes to lay on you. The first few times he sprawled across your lap seeking affection and reassurance for his fragile ego, you'd been so nervous to crack his screen. But now you're more used to it and will even playfully try and poke it/tap it. Between you and Valentino, Vox has had to rule out ever getting a touch screen for a head, because neither of you will stop fucking with it. It does make him laugh, though, adorable little giggles he'd rather die than let the general public hear. It usually turns into a playful wrestling match and aggressive cuddles with a side of petty static electricity from Vox.

[thevagueambition]

My feelings on the slash ships vs male friendships argument that occasionally pops up is that if other people shipping two male characters with each other genuinely ruins your ability to appreciate the intimate male friendship depicted in canon, that says a lot more about your personal anxieties and insecurities than it does about shippers or culture at large

The argument is typically about devaluation of friendships, right? that imposing romance/sex on these canonically non-romantic, non-sexual relationships between men implies that friendship without those elements is "lesser" or "not enough"

And I am sympathetic to a fruatration with devaluation of friendship and I do agree that the language shippers use or the argument they put forth in favour of why their ship is a valid reading of the text or going to become canon or whatever, that this is sometimes language or arguments that imply the superiority of romance and sex over relationships without those features

But the thing about it is that

1) the canon version of the relationship in question typically is a non-sexual, non-romantic one, the mainstream version of this story is one that puts emphasis on and values male friendship, which is proof in and of itself that there is no danger of stories about the importance of male friensships drying up

2) this is an issue far, far more prevalent in the depiction of relationships between men and women, like there actually is a lack of stories that center non-romantic, non-sexual male-female friendships, there genuinely are people who see every non-familial male-female interaction in the light of romance, yet it's the slash ships that get hit with this accusation of devaluing friendship

At the end of the day, how other people interpret a piece of media really doesn't have to affect your own relationship to a piece of media. It's perfectly fine not to like a ship! It's not homophobic to prefer a male friendship to a gay romance. Getting angry about other people engaging "incorrectly" with a fiction relationship is immature and in the case of the "devalueing male friendships" argument it is also homophobic

I have a straight male friend who really values Frodo and Sam's friendship and who doesn't personally read it as romantic, who indeed is a man with intimate, non-sexual, non-romantic relationship with other men and thus find that interpretation personally meaningful. But he's not immature or a homophobe, so he doesn't feel the need to complain or argue if someone else makes a reference to them as a couple in his presence. We all agree that the relationship is important and endearing, why would we have to agree on the particulars of whether they fuck or not?

If you find shippers annoying, that's perfectly reasonable because shippers often are annoying (I say as a shipper). But at the end of the day, the only reason to position slash interpretations and platonic interpretations as enemies is homophobia

[sycamorelibrary754]

Happy Thanksgiving

Summary: You invite Natasha’s family to join you for Thanksgiving. Holiday cheer and a surprise awaits!

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Yelena Belova x reader (platonic), Alexei Alanovich Shostakov x reader (platonic) Melina Vostokoff x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: None

A/N: This was a fun one. Happy Thanksgiving!

When you first broached the subject with Natasha of inviting Yelena, Melina, and Alexi to your home for Thanksgiving, you weren’t sure how your wife would respond. True, things were better. Their relationship had gone through something of a healing process since they took down Dreykov and the Red Room together, but her family was still a lot to handle. Most of the team was going to Iowa to spend Thanksgiving with the Barton’s. Clint had gotten it into his head to deep fry the turkey this year. It was going to be can’t-miss-entertainment according to Sam. However, you and Natasha were looking forward to a more intimate holiday.

“You really want my family to join us for Thanksgiving?” Her eyes met yours as you snuggled up on the couch together.

“I think it could be really fun. Plus, you deserve to spend quality time with them that doesn’t involve death, destruction, or pigs,” you joked. 

“You don’t like mom’s pigs?” She smirked.

No, love. I do. They’re adorable. Especially once Yelena made them those personalized piggy vests,” you giggled.

“Oh, yeah… Pests!” Natasha laughed recalling the image. 

“So what do you think? A Romanoff family Thanksgiving?”

She thought for a moment before a smile reached her lips. “Okay, let’s do it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think it could be fun,” caressing your cheek softly. 

You went into planning mode upon receiving Nat’s approval and confirmation that all three were available and would be there with bells on. You were determined to make it a memorable holiday for everyone.

*^~^*

You left early to hit the grocery store the Monday before Thanksgiving. It was crucial to avoiding the out-of-stock items and the rush of “fucking annoying slowpokes who don’t know a shallot from an onion,” you eloquently informed your wife after wiggling out of her warm hold. 

Nat mumbled something akin to, “See you later, detka,” her head buried in her pillow as you hurriedly put on your coat, scarf, and beanie and rushed out of the house. Your car keys and shopping list clenched purposefully in your fist.

*^~^*

The front door slammed shut a couple of hours later, alerting Natasha to your arrival.

“I’m home, love!” You called out.

“The conquering shopper has returned! How was the store?” Looking around at the mountain of groceries cluttered around you like presents under the Christmas tree. 

“It was good! I managed to get everything on the list,” removing your warm attire and running your hand smoothly through your hair. 

“I can see that, y/n. Did you leave anything for the other shoppers?” Nat smirked. 

“This is all necessary for the traditional Thanksgiving feast I have planned for us,” you explained. “Your family has never had an American Thanksgiving, so I thought, why not go all out?” 

Your wife stepped carefully around your grocery maze and wrapped her arms lovingly around your neck. “Have I told you how much I love you?” 

“Not in the last twenty minutes,” jokingly glancing at the imaginary watch on your wrist before planting a tender kiss on her lips.

Natasha offered to unpack the groceries for you. Meanwhile, you set about creating a cooking timeline for the meal preparation. You were so in your element your wife couldn’t help but smile. As you typed away on your laptop, your adorable expression reminded her of your demeanor in the field. You were focused, engaged, and confident. 

*^~^*

A creature of habit, Natasha awoke the following morning for her daily run. She groggily reached over to turn off her alarm until she realized the alarm hadn’t gone off. No, the clanging of pots and pans from the kitchen tore her from her blissful sleep. Nat rolled over to your side of the bed only to find it empty. She groaned softly and sat up, cracking her neck and stretching her arms over her head as a yawn escaped her lips.

Natasha padded down the hall toward the kitchen, still clad in her pajamas and the fuzzy socks you bought her. She turned the corner to find you floating around the kitchen in a whirlwind—dishes in the oven and stove.

“Moya lyubov? You’re already in the kitchen?” Rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“No rest for the wary, sweetheart. I’ve got to get the pumpkin pie out of the way so I can get started on the sides by this afternoon,” you explained, fervently whisking your pumpkin puree into your custard mixture. You glanced around the counter like you were looking for something. “Oh, can you hand me those spice jars behind you?”

She picked up the cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger, stacking them precariously on top of one another like blocks before appearing at your side.

“Nicely done. You missed your calling as a professional Jenga player.”

“Take your damned spices,” she snarked.

You sprinkled the spice mixture into the filling and let it sit. “Okay,” you said, wiping your brow. “I just need to grab the pie crust out of the oven. It should be par-baked by now.”

“I got it, detka,” pulling on the oven mitts and removing the pan from the oven. 

Perfect, now we’re just going to fill the crust,” carefully pouring the custard filling. “Then this is going back in the oven at 325 for 45-60 minutes.” 

Nat carefully placed the pie back in the oven. “Shall I close, doctor?”

“Please,” in your most professional voice before lapsing into giggles. 

“Now, that’s in. We can get started on the sides. Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry feta salad,” you listed.

Two types of potatoes?”

“Oh, it’s a must, love! You get both the salty and the sweet. It’s potato perfection.”

“Hmm, just like you,” she said suggestively.

“Smooth,” you replied.

“I try," putting her arm around your shoulder.

*^~^*

You were still in the kitchen when Natasha returned from her run. 

“Have you taken a break at all since I left?” She removed her running shoes and placed them by the front door.

“No time for breaks. Your sister just texted me and asked if Mac and Cheese was part of the American Thanksgiving tradition, so I’m whipping up one for her.”

Your wife rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake, that’s not necessary, malyshka. Yelena will survive one meal without her precious Mac and Cheese.” 

“It’s no problem. I want your family to feel comfortable! That’s why I also have a sparkling Vodka cocktail planned,” you winked. 

“That is so sweet, but there is no need to stress over it, y/n. They are going to love it no matter what you make. Plus, you know if you feed them this well, they’ll never leave, right?”

“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” You joked.

“No, it wouldn’t,” she deadpanned.

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing the stuffing, cranberry sauce, garlic green beanies, and gravy. By the time you finally laid down on the couch Tuesday evening, still in your apron, you were pleased with your progress. Your legs lay across Natasha’s lap while she massaged your aching feet. She wasn’t surprised to look over and find you sound asleep five minutes later as the television glow illuminated your features. Your wife could only smile at your sleepy form before gently picking you up and carrying you to bed.

*^~^*

Wednesday morning Natasha decided to let you sleep in, so she made the executive decision to turn your alarm off. Truthfully, she felt guilty for how hard you had been pushing yourself this week for the sake of her family. Nat was nursing a cup of tea and reading a book in the family room when she heard you down the hall.

“Oh, crap!” You shouted.

“3,2,1…..” Natasha counted down.

“Nat, why didn’t you wake me up!” Throwing on your favorite cardigan as you entered the room. “I’ve still got to make the pretzel bread and raspberry jello today.”

“You needed the sleep. I can’t tell you’re exhausted, and you were sleeping so soundly when I got up.”

You had a look of panic in your eyes.

“It’s okay, y/n. I found the jello and bread recipes on the table and got the jump on it for you. The jello is done and in the fridge, and the bread dough is under the towel rising.”

You blinked a couple of times as if she was speaking Latin. “You cooked?” 

“Are you questioning my abilities?” Raising an eyebrow. 

“Well.… yeah? I love you, sweetheart, but the only thing I’ve ever seen you make is a peanut butter sandwich.”

“See for yourself,” smiling proudly and removing her reading glasses.

Opening the fridge, you were pleasantly surprised to find a gelatinous raspberry jello staring back at you. You then peeked under the towel on the counter to find the bread dough had just about doubled in size.

“Well, turn me upside down and paint me blue!”

“Hmmm, tempting, but let’s save that for after my family leaves,” Natasha smirked as she kissed the side of your temple from behind. 

“This is awesome, my love. Thank you so much,” turning around in her hold. “I have to say, the thought of the Black Widow cooking Thanksgiving dinner is incredibly sexy.”

“Is it now?” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Very, I may have to get you your apron,” you teased as Natasha gently grasped your ear lobe between her teeth before placing soft kisses down your neck. Her phone dinged with a text notification on the counter beside you a few moments later. You glanced down at the screen out of the corner of your eye.

“It’s Yelena, sweetheart...”

“Is she on fire? Otherwise, I’m not stopping.” Moving the tender kisses to your lips. 

“No, she wants to know if she should bring anything,” you replied between kisses.

She feels terrible we’re doing all the work,”

“She’s bringing our parents, that’s a shit ton of work.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

*^~^*

The next day, you and Natasha got started on the crown jewel of your Thanksgiving dinner: the turkey. After letting it thaw in the fridge all week, your twenty-pound bird had been marinating in a salt brine for twelve hours. You placed the turkey in the oven at 425 degrees for 35 minutes, which gave you two just enough time to get ready before it needed to be basted.

You heard the doorbell after showering and putting on your best fall colors.

“Baby, they’re here!” you called, opening the door to welcome your guests.

Alexi was sporting a plush turkey hat while Melina held a freshly made appetizer. Standing in front of both of them, Yelena had Fanny at her feet. She quickly stepped inside first with a warm hug and a peck on your cheek. 

“Happy Thanksgiving, y/n! Thank you so much for inviting us. “Now,” placing both hands on your shoulders. “Where is the booze? I just had to spend the last 20 minutes in the car alone with them, listening to Alexi ramble on about his stupid hat.”

You point toward the coffee table, holding the sparkling Vodka cocktails as your sister-in-law gives you a cheeky smile. “I love you.” 

“Haha!” Alexi exclaimed. Greetings, my wonderful daughter-in-law. I am ready for turkey!” Wrapping you in a giant bear hug.

“Could’ve fooled me, Alexi,” you joked. “Ooh, Melina, what do we have here? It looks delicious.”

“A traditional Russian appetizer, Mushroom Julienne. Mushrooms and onions cooked in cream sauce, cheese, and sour cream.”

“My mouth is already watering. Here, let me take your coats. You can place them on the coffee table,” you offered. 

After tending to the coats, you rejoined the group as everyone settled in the family room for appetizers and cocktails. Holiday music played softly in the background, setting the scene perfectly. You sat on the sofa beside your wife while your in-laws treated you to numerous stories of Natasha and Yelena’s all-to-brief childhood in Ohio. Some of which you had yet to hear. 

“Y/N, has Natalia told you how she and Yelena used to stay up late on Christmas Eve to try and catch Santa Claus?” Melina asked. 

“Now, that was fun. You know, he comes down the chimney, girls. Look out! Where is he? You wait for him, and when the cookies are gone, you see he’s there.” Alexi recalled.

Yelena smiled fondly at the memory while Natasha turned red as Santa’s suit and hid her face in her hands.

“Aww, honey,” rubbing circles on her back. It’s precious! I’m sure you were adorable.” 

“As adorable as you can be with bright blue hair. You looked like cotton candy,” Yelena laughed. 

Nat threw a pillow across the room, barely missing her sister’s head.

“Ha!! Missed!” Yelena snarked.

“Girls, behave,” Melina ordered.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sisterly teasing and family banter. This was exactly what you were hoping for, and the evening was just getting started.

“Oh, detka, you don’t have a drink yet. Let me get you one,” Natasha offered, standing up, but your hand on her arm stopped her. 

“Oh, no thanks, love. I actually need to go check on the turkey.” 

“I’ll join you,” Yelena announced. “I want to see this bird you Americans are so crazy about.”

You opened the oven to reveal your delectable 20-pound turkey. “Do you want to brush it with the honey glaze for me, Yelena? I’m going to check on the side dishes.” 

“Just call me DaVinci!” She declared.

You turned around to find your sister-in-law had finished the glazing by painting a smiley face on the turkey. 

“Wow, I didn’t know our turkey had such a charming smile,” you joked. Reducing the heat to 325 and setting the timer for another 75 minutes. 

“Thank you again for including us today, y/n. While it would’ve been fun to watch Barton sear his eyebrows off trying to deep-fry a turkey, it's been nice to see Natasha so happy. We didn’t have any family holidays growing up. Not real ones, anyway.”

“Well, you always will now,” placing an arm around her shoulder. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to make your sister happy. That’s a promise.”

*^~^*

While the turkey finished cooking, you decided to share as many of your Thanksgiving traditions as possible. You watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, took in some Turkey Day football, and even played a rousing game of Pictionary.

“What the hell is that?” Yelena shouted as Nat was diligently engaged in her drawing.  

“Oooh! Ooh! A ladybug doing the Macarena!”You screamed just before the timer ran out.

“Yes!” Nat shouted.

“Unbelievable, what is that? Five in a row,” Melina remarked. No wonder you two are such a good team.”

“Well, it's no surprise you're a pro at Pictionary. Who needs talent when you can just doodle like a 5-year-old?” Yelena retorted.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game, Lena,” dropping the marker like a microphone.

“Trust me, I do. It will be perfect for when I want to torture Kate Bishop.”

“With that, I think it’s time for dinner,” you announced happily. 

*^~^*

It only took a few minutes before your Thanksgiving feast was lovingly displayed on the dining room table. The sight and aroma of the food was a gentle massage to the soul.

“Before we dig in,” holding up your glass for a toast, “I just wanted to say how happy Nat and I are that you could join us today. We love you, and I’m so thankful to be a part of your family.”

Natasha grasped your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. 

“We feel the same way,” Melina concurred.

“Yes, we’re so happy that you and our little Natalia found each other,” Alexi added.

“Yes, y/n is a saint. It’s all very touching. Can I carve the turkey now,” Yelena groaned, holding up a sharpened carving knife. 

“You may proceed,” you declared with a Queen’s wave of your hand. 

Dishes were passed around the table like musical chairs. Wine filled everyone’s glasses while you opted for your favorite - Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider. You pretended not to notice Yelena sneaking a few scraps to Fanny under the table. The chatter rose and fell, every few moments dispersed with laughter. It was the kind of occasion most aren't aware they're genuinely enjoying yet look back at in warm nostalgia.

After hibernating in your Thanksgiving food comas, you returned to the family room for dessert. You were excited to finally bring out the homemade Pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream.

“Ah, now this is a beautiful pie.” Look at this, girls. I love America, you cannot get this back in St. Petersburg.” Alexi gushed. 

“Y/N made it from scratch,” your wife bragged, causing you to blush at the compliment.

“Did y/n also split the atom?” Yelena teased. She earned an eye roll from her older sister. “Could you BE more whipped?”

“No, I honestly don’t think I could,” Natasha looked at you like you had hung the moon and the stars. 

*^~^*

As the evening wound down, the hustle and bustle of the past week was starting to catch up to you. Your wife didn’t miss your heavy eyelids or the tiny yawn that escaped your lips as Fanny hopped up on the couch to lay down beside you. 

“Well, we should probably get going. Traffic will be annoying when crossing back over the bridge,” your sister-in-law said.

“Before you go, I have gifts for all of you!” You exclaimed, jumping up off the couch. 

“You do?”A bewildered expression on Nat’s face. 

“I do!” You’re voice trailed away as you padded down the hall toward your bedroom.

Natasha turned around to her family with a shrug of her shoulders. She had no clue what you were talking about. You returned a moment later with small autumn-gold gift bags. 

“This is just a little something for each of you,” clasping your hands together in front of your smiling face. Natasha was even more confused when you handed her one as well. “Go on, sweetheart,” you encouraged.

Natasha removed the delicate tissue paper. Her solid and calloused hands met the soft cotton hiding inside. She pulled the gift out and held it up in front of her. A tiny onesie that read “Mommy’s Little Turkey” was staring back at her. 

Natasha stared at it speechlessly, wide-eyed. A first for your relationship. Finally, her brain caught up with the moment. “Moya lyubov—what? We—you…you’re pregnant?”

You nodded vigorously, starting to cry. Natasha’s hands cupped your cheeks. Her lips met yours in a heartfelt kiss, not caring that her family was watching. You gently combed your fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck, returning the kiss.

Melina, Alexi, and Yelena held up their onesies to find variations of Natasha’s: Grandma’s Little Turkey, Grandpa’s Little Turkey, and Auntie’s Little Turkey.” 

“I knew it!”Yelena shouted.

Melina turned to Natasha and whispered, “You see what can happen when you keep your heart,” holding her lovingly in her arms.  

Vashe zdorov'ye! (Cheers) Alexi exclaimed. If it is a boy, you will name him Alexi. It is a strong and honorable name!” Kissing you on both cheeks.

“Oh God,” Yelena muttered under her breath. “For the love of Fanny, please don’t do that,” wrapping her arms around you. “I would love to babysit. I’m looking forward to passing on much to my niece or nephew.”

“Yeah, that’s not terrifying at all,” your wife mumbled in your ear. 

The shock was wearing off. Natasha reached down and gently placed her palm on your stomach. You weren’t showing yet, but just knowing that your child was growing inside you awakened a dream that she had put away in the Red Room long ago. 

*^~^*

Once her family left, Natasha insisted that she would handle the post-holiday clean-up, confining you to the couch with many pillows and a fluffy blanket. Foreshadowing what was to come for the duration of your pregnancy. 

“Sweetheart, those dishes go in the top right cupboard,” directing her from the couch.

“No worries, malyshka. I got it! You take it easy. The baby needs rest after all of this Thanksgiving cheer,” her protective instincts appear.

“The baby is the size of a plum, my love,”

“A very tired plum!” 

*^~^*

Thirty minutes later, the kitchen was clean, and you both were ready for a good night’s sleep. You would never admit it to your wife, but boy, were you tired. You donned your coziest pajamas and joined Natasha in bed. Snuggled into the covers, you found comfort and peace in your safe space. Nat rolled over to face you, your foreheads touching in a beautifully intimate gesture of love and affection. 

“This has been the best day of my life. Not only did you give my family an amazing Thanksgiving, you gave me a gift I’ll never forget. Though I have to admit now that I know you’re pregnant, I’m replaying the last week in my head in a loop of horrifying anxiety.” 

You giggled at her confession, “It’s alright, Nat. I’m ready for a nice long rest, and I just had a check-up with Helen last week.”

“Wait, does the team know?” 

“Dear God, no. You think that group can keep a secret?”

“We can tell them at Stark’s Christmas party in a couple of weeks if you’re comfortable with the idea.” 

“Perfect. I need time to prepare for the onslaught of attention from our little one’s aunts and uncles.”

Natasha reached over and grabbed your hand. “I love you, y/n. I can’t wait to welcome our little plum into the world,” she smiled.

“I love you too. You are going to be an amazing mother, sweetheart.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, y/n”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Natasha.”

[sevensoulmates]

Hi I just wanted to say I was on twitter and saw someone discussing and sharing your meta posts and I was genuinely intrigued and curious because you guys are obviously so devoted to the buddie couple and it's really endearing. And I was just really interesed about this perception of the couple you guys seem to have because is so different to the other side of the fandom I'm actively interacting with. I'm obviously a B/T shipper and only got into the fandom because of them but I'm really loving the show (currently I'm on season 5). I'm just curious about how is it that you guys see buddie as romantic when I think their interactions are clearly platonic, they obviously have a deep relationship, an intimate friendship but no more that that.

Again, I'm not trying to hate I just wanted to ask because it looks like the buddie shippers are settling themselves for disappointment just waiting for them to go canon. You all are obviously loyal fans and I think that's lovely but I honestly just don't see the show writing Eddie as queer now and I really think Tommy is here to stay (I think there's too many signs pointing to this fact like the buck actually episode and the old guy named Thomas). Again I'm not here trying to hate because I think you guys love the ship genuinely but I just wonder how is it that after all the things the shows portrays you guys are still rooting for buddie. Please feel free to ignore my question if I'm annoying you, I really don't want to come off as rude I was just really interesed in the topic.

There are a boatload of reasons why I and many other people ship Buddie. Most of them are far too long to get to in one ask like this because Buddie have had 6 years worth of material to sort through and it would just take far too long.

Long story short: in the same way that Buck was confirmed bisexual over the course of a single episode after years of many people saying Buck could never be anything other than straight, Buddie could be made canon in one single episode and it would be accepted just as easily even though it's been years and a lot of people are still saying they could never be together.

It's TV. The writers can do whatever they want. The second they decide to start bringing in more explicitly romantic things, people will suddenly start "getting" it.

To be more precise: I think it's easy for people to see a ship like Bucktommy and latch onto it because it's very clearly, explicitly queer. It's a lot harder for people to believe in or "see" ships where a queer couple hasn't done anything explicitly romantic like kiss or hold hands, etc. It's unfortunately due to heternomativity and the sad death of the slow burn. I can't really do anything about either of those things.

For me, the primary reason I ship buddie is because of the deep special bond and obvious family they've built over the years that feels different from every single other relationship they've had with literally anyone else on the show. That includes Tommy, Shannon, Abby, etc. You can view it as platonic if you want, that's anyone's subjective opinion.

You seem like a sweet person, but you're also coming into the show with a bias towards Bucktommy, which is fine. They're what brought you to the show, they're the ones who initially intrigued you, and they're also the only ones currently explicitly queer. I get it.

I am going to be so honest with you: I think the show has been writing both Buck and Eddie as queer men for many many years. But just like how Buck was only allowed to confirm it this most recent season, they haven't been able to confirm it for Eddie just yet. I could write essays and essays about how Eddie is so obviously deep deep in compulsory heterosexuality and has been almost since the beginning, but it would take too long. There's plenty of posts I and others have made all over tumblr and on my blog.

Slow queer burns featuring characters that aren't introduced in the first 5 seconds as queer are almost non-existent, they very rarely happen in popular media, and because of that it's almost impossible to ship something without someone coming at you saying "they don't see it". Fact of the matter is that Buddie is one of the easiest ships to "see", if you were looking at a man and a woman, but they're not. I can't really convince people to see what they don't want to see.

If you're curious about the specifics, I'd encourage you to go through my blog/meta or other buddie-positive blogs on tumblr to find many talented and intelligent individuals who will have a lot to say on why they believe in buddie.

When it comes down to it, I don't think the fandom at large is ever gonna believe it until they see it. That's kinda just human nature and the state of how we all consume media right now.

But once the show does go there, they're gonna be like damn can't believe I didn't see that until now while the rest of us sit here like "we've been trying to tell you this whole time."

In the meantime, I'm enjoying Bucktommy for what it is, for however long it lasts, and I'm gonna enjoy buddie just the same, regardless of if they go canon or not, or how long it takes.

[sodasa-was-taken]

How subtle is the romance of G-Witch really: The language of romance and the bias in interpretation

First of all, I want to express my gratitude for all the feedback I've received. You guys are awesome. When I posted my first analysis, I had no idea how it would be perceived. Throughout my life, I've mostly been met with confusion, if not a bit of curiosity, when I've told people about my fascination with the romance genre. Even people who like the genre don't treat it with the respect I do but rather see it as something they can turn their brains off to. I was scared that people who saw my analysis would think that G-Witch, I dunno, had too much else going on to be considered a romance. I can't tell you all how validating it's been to get this much praise for writing about one of my biggest passions. Thank you so much.

This post is less an analysis of G-Witch as it's an exploration of the hypocrisy in how straight and gay romances are interpreted even by the queer community. I've engaged with a lot of female/male romances, especially when I was younger and thought I was straight, so it's quite surreal seeing similar stories being interpreted vastly differently based only on whether the main characters are queer or not.

There's been a lot of discussion about how explicit same-sex relationships in fiction should be. Many agree that the minimum for the characters to be unambiguously into each other is for them to kiss. That would be an ideal metric if the same applied to a man and a woman being into each other. It does not. For the vast majority of history, since people first started portraying characters in romantic relationships, explicit depictions of physical affection between those characters haven't been a thing. Depicting that sort of thing didn't become commonplace until the 20th century. For example, you would be hard-pressed to find any of the somewhat indecent positions Miorine and Suletta get into in a Jean Austin novel. Like, usually in a platonic hug, you lay your head on someone's shoulder or clavicle, and Miorine's burying her face in the upper part of Suletta's cleavage. How scandalous!

Of course, these views are centuries old, and the expectations of what should be included in a story about people getting together have changed drastically since then. Except in a lot of ways, it hasn't. Especially in manga, light novels, and anime, it can take real-life years for two characters to show affection through physician touch. Still, it’s expected that the characters are or will become attracted to one another and that they’ll end up together before the end of the story. Unless they’re the same gender, where not only is that not an expectation, but due to tropes such as Bury Your Gays, people are more likely to think one of them is going to die. That’s messed up. Being a main character in a romance or something adjacent shouldn’t be a death sentence for any character. Then there’s the fact that same-sex couples-to-be in fiction can be as forward as they want in their physical and verbal affections. Still, a straight couple-to-be that does nothing but bigger or just be the most prominent characters in their respective genders will still be perceived as less ambiguous. A man and a woman who get a bit flustered around each other are hopelessly in love. Yet, two girls sharing an intimate hug after a conversation about how neither wants their engagement to just be a transaction; that’s “totally platonic.”

Better yet, Hollywood has fine-tuned this to the point that the male and female leads only need to look at each other for about five seconds, and it’s enough to infer that they’re attracted to each other. This has become so ubiquitous that people have gotten confused when the leads are implied not to have gotten together despite having shown zero romantic intent. Having the character show romantic intent isn’t generally considered a requirement for them to end up together in a Hollywood film. No, seriously. All this is to say that literary and visual shorthand have always been and continue to be a major part of romances. Yet, the bar is much higher when it comes to the confirmation that two characters of the same gender are into each other. An author can use the exact same narrative tools that have become a staple of female/male romances/romantic subplots, and someone will tell you you're being led on for picking up on them.

The main reason for the high standards placed on same-sex couples is the desire for representation. If straight couples are allowed to or even expected to kiss at some point in the story, the same should be the case for same-sex couples. That said, kissing neither is nor should be the be-all and end-all of good representation. Yeah, straight couples get to kiss and have sexual relationships, but by all accounts, a significant amount of straight representation is absolutely abysmal. Lots of straight romances reek of sexism, outdated gender roles, and stereotyping, are toxic, and straight-up have a reputation for romanticizing abuse. If kissing or an “I love you” is the metric to which good representation is judged, two straight people who have zero chemistry or are downright abusive would be better representation than a same-sex couple whose relationship is built on mutual respect and support but who doesn't get to kiss or say “I love you” and that's ridiculous.

It’s also worth noting how people who tell others they’re crazy for seeing a queer story where according to them, there aren’t any, get characterized as needing to see something explicit to pick up that a story is or even just be interpreted as a queer romance. The thing is, most of these people aren’t dense; they’re willfully ignorant. They can pick up on the signs just as easily as they can in male/female romances; they’re choosing not to, even if it’s likely an unconscious decision. There seems to be a need among queer people to have depictions in media that even bigots can’t deny are queer. Why though? Representation is vital in helping to normalize the existence of various types of people, but for so many queer people, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. So what if some people wouldn’t get it unless the characters kiss? Those people will just start complaining about how they’re having queerness forced down their throats, and that’s their problem. There’s so much more to the queer experience than displays of physical affection, and this representation gatekeeping isn’t helping anyone. Normalizing same-sex couple kissing is important, but normalizing people of the same gender kissing is only going to normalize the kissing itself. If, for example, two people of the same gender get to kiss and then one of them gets killed off, that's the opposite of normalizing same-sex relationships.

Pulling from my own experiences, I've never been told that there was anything wrong with two people of the same gender kissing. Still, I saw same-sex relationships as inferior and believed being in one couldn't give me the life I wanted. I tried so hard to convince myself that I was straight and was only attracted to someone with a different gender presentation than me – because I was also an egg who told myself I was wrong for feeling uncomfortable for being referred to as my assigned gender at birth. Honestly, I thought that I would be happier if I didn’t even entertain the idea of getting together with someone with the same gender presentation as me. So, imagine how much it meant to me to see a show about two girls where one of them didn’t even think that getting engaged to another girl was an option, both of them having young men interested in them but asking each other to spend their life with them, and ending the show being married and being all the happier for being with the other. That's the kind of representation I've been looking for.

On a less serious note, I’d like to share an antidote from when I watched episode one for the first time. When Suletta sees someone floating around in space who appears to be in danger I didn’t initially consider that the person in question might be Miorine. The visuals planted the idea in my mind and the thing that confirmed it was the framing of the two inside Aerial’s cockpit. I couldn’t explain what I was picking up on, but to me, it was a dead giveaway.

[charliemwrites]

Just a thought I wanted to share but imagine something happens to Johnny, Simon, Price and Gaz is the only one left. You said he wasn’t really on board with reader being kept though she’s not his to let go but now that the rest of the 141 is gone, she technically is …

Imagine him feeling too guilty to keep her himself, after all she’s a person with her own life and autonomy she isn’t an animal to be kept. But after all this time she doesn’t know how to be on her own. That coupled with the fact that she lost everyone around her, especially Simon, she’s in such a sensitive state she can’t be on her own.

So now Gaz has to keep her even though it goes against everything he believes in, he’s all she has left. He tries to make it seem like they’re in a normal relationship, (not girlfriend/boyfriend because she was Simons) like roommates where one is strangely super dependent on the other or maybe even an older brother or sm. But deep down he knows the true nature of their relationship and it lwk eats him up with guilt.

Or do you think it’d be different? Maybe over time he wouldn’t feel as guilty or something? Maybe he would still let her go? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea but no pressure!

Ooooooh my heart!!!!

You’re absolutely right. She has to relearn a lot of things, and isn’t very good with public settings. Has to hold his hand or arm and gets overwhelmed easily. She cries a lot - because she feels like a burden, because she misses Simon, because her life has been turned over and ruined again.

I think they’d both carry a lot of guilt. They would stay together because she doesn’t have anyone and needs him. Him because he doesn’t want her to have to be a kept animal anymore. Both clinging on to the last remnants of the past.

Oh, and how could anyone beat that connection? Yeah no, those two would spend the rest of their lives together - whether it becomes romantic or stays weirdly intimately platonic. She is always always free to leave, she knows that, but she never will.

[merakiui]

Oouhhh when u mention that sex marathon with step-bro Azul tag... I'm just imagining Azul's mom and his step-dad leaving for a few days (on business trip maybe?) and now that Azul's alone with his step-sibling, he's just trying to fuck them in every corner of the house shdjdjdkdk

Multi-tasking in the kitchen as the two of them prepare for dinner, but some of Azul's tentacles are stuffing his darling sibling up on the counter (or maybe he's eating them out for dinner instead lol).

But but the thing is he just feels soo domestic doing house chores and fucking them in between when there were only the two of them alone together. It's almost like they are playing house again when they were kids, only a bit more intimate and the two of them are more couple-like. Plus, his parents aren't there to reprimand him for kissing them on the lips again.

AAAAA YES OTL sex marathon with step-brother Azul is so scandalous because the two of you have to be careful so he won't knock you up. Or maybe it's entirely unwilling for you and Azul's just been feeding you aphrodisiacs/love potions so you'll be more likely to return his affections. You wake up to your step-brother stuffing you with tentacles, you fall asleep to him fucking you, and even when you're doing simple things like chores or cooking he's got his tentacles laced around you, squeezing you and toying with your most intimate areas!!!! He lies you down on the table and eats you out, insisting you're all the dinner he needs. <3

You beg him not to cum inside because Mama and Papa will be so upset if your brother gets you pregnant. You can't possibly have his babies or start a family with him! They'll never accept it! It's too forbidden! But Azul misses playing House with you. D: he missed kissing you and feeling you and palming your belly, promising to fill you up so that you can become a parent!! He wants to see you round and full with lots of fry. T_T it's been his dream ever since he started loving you more than platonically. And he's just so cute when he's rambling and making so many promises to marry you, to give you a beautiful wedding, to plan a perfect honeymoon, to work extra hard so you'll never have to know suffering. It's okay if he knocks you up; he'll provide for you. He'll show you that a life with him is possible.

Azul loves doing domestic things with you. Shopping at the markets for groceries and ingredients for the restaurant, which Mama Ashengrotto has left in Azul's capable hands while she and Papa are gone, and the two of you bicker over deals and what to get. Or when you both wash up together, sharing the space at the mirror. Or when you're exhausted after a long day and fall asleep in his room, curled up so cutely, and he admires how precious you look before settling down beside you. Or when he's busy doing something and keeps you occupied by filling you with the tentacles that aren't doing work!!!!

Those few days your parents are gone are so enjoyable for Azul because he gets to bond with you on very intimate levels. And you can't stop him from cumming inside when it feels too good. In the end, he knocks you up and you have to hide your growing belly from your parents as the time slowly ticks by. :) (maybe you can lie and say it was one of the Leech twins who got you pregnant; at least that's far more acceptable than admitting your dear step-brother is the one responsible...)

[darcytaylor]

I have been following few blogs on the Luke - Nic situation, and yours is the only one with the take there was nothing between them. So Im very curious about your take. The issue that personally affects me here is that after living 30+ years in this world, we pick certain actions and behaviours as related to romance and attraction right, but now I feel gaslighted (not by you, but by Nic & Luke) as if my understanding about romantic attracti9j language has always been wrong (this also triggers my trauma because I was never sure about romantic attraction towards me and had spent hours and hours dissecting behaviours by those I thought were attracted to me).

However, I am unable to fit their behaviour and body language in this special bond framework. There were many genuine, natural which went PR. This is where Im confused and feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this?

So coming back to your theory about, its a special kind of co-worker relationship, I totally agree this is possible. When you do something you are passionate about thats life changing and meaningful with someone else you can develop a special bond. Probably something similar to the bond soldiers or medical profession share being in a traumatic environment with utmost trust in each other. In Nic & Luke's case unlike other leads they had 5 years to develop the friendship, understand the material and brainstorm between them. I can see how that would create a special bond especially when you have to be vulnerable and comfortable with each other in those intimate scenes.

However, I couldn't fit their behaviour and body language during the promo tour under this special bond framework. There were many moments of genuine connection between them which seemed to go beyond PR or platonic friendship. This is where I feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think those moments were just friendship and nothing more?

I have never said that there was nothing between them (because at the end of the day I don't know what their relationship is). But I ultimately think that the actions shown don't necessarily scream "we are in a relationship". I say this from experience, I know the bond that co-works can have, and just because they smile at each other, touch each other, and are comfortable saying certain things, it doesn't make me conclude that they are together.

I also think that when I see their interviews, I am not looking for proof of a relationship between them. I think if you go into it with that mindset, that there has to be something more, you make yourself see it and then you will start to believe it. Maybe this is ultimately why you feel gaslit, and I am sorry that the whole situation had made you feel that way. It's an awful feeling to have for sure!

I do think that when actors do promo tours there will always be PR behind it. But just because it is PR doesn't make their interactions not genuine. It can be both all at the same time.

Also, even when people have co-worker relationships doesn't make loving interactions not genuine. I have stated a couple times in my responses to asks what I truly think of these types of relationships/friendships. And they have the ability to be intense! They have the ability to be more than a 'regular' relationship/friendship.

Here are things I have said in the past. It may help you better understand what I think a co-worker relationship can be like and why I think that their actions don't necessarily mean they are something more:

"I do think they mainly have a co-worker type relationship/friendship. But that's NOT saying they aren't close. It's me saying that it is a different type of relationship/friendship, because co-worker friendships do have the potential to be way more than a 'regular' friendship. (I'm also saying this from experience)"

"When you are at work, your co-works tend to see you more than your family and friends. They see you at your worst and at your best, and they have the potential to see the real you."

"I do believe that they are friends with a very close bond. After filming something like Bridgerton and going on the months long promo tour, there will be a bond between them for life, even if they don't hangout regularly after this. I think it is that bond that people are seeing that makes people believe otherwise."

"I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand)."

[akenya]

Rizzoli and Isles is actually a show about a Queerplatonic Relationship.

Okay hear me out.

So, I always have shipped Rizzles. There are many MANY ways in which these are queer coded characters with a heavy romantic subtext, that a lot of the time honestly bleeds into the maintext. A lot of the actions and dialogue that we would typically interpret as romantic, especially between a hetero pairing, certainly works for this show. 

But I did a re-watch of the show recently, and while I still ship them romantically, I actually think what is being portrayed between them is something else. They are DEFINITELY more than friends; I mean they are life partners in every sense of the word. But the kind of dynamic that is CANONICALLY portrayed between Maura and Jane, is in fact, a Queerplatonic Relationship.

So here’s a working definition of the term for those who aren’t familiar with it: 

Queerplatonic relationships and queerplatonic partnerships are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship

I have actually experienced something like this, (and yes I’m going to get a bit anecdotally personal here; I’ll try not to be too long winded, but it’s relevant, I promise lol): 

I had an (unspoken) kind of relationship like this with my best friend in my early/mid 20s. We have been best friends since I was 11, but something definitely shifted when we became adults, and I have to say, I ended up, quite unexpectedly, being deeply in love with my best friend...platonically. I didn’t want to date her. I didn’t want to sleep with her. But, I was totally devoted to her and we were each other’s person for years. We were each other’s assumed plus one for everything, we regularly did dinner dates, we gave each other super sentimental cards and specialized gifts on birthdays, we also regularly did domestic shit together like grocery shopping, errands, chores, house projects; you name it, we had it/did it. I mean we were even each other’s phone background for a while lmao. We never lived together, but we had keys to each other’s places. 

Now a lot of this shit can happen and does happen in standard friendships (maybe not the phone background thing; that was super gay ngl hahaha), but the thing that made this different was the level of assumed partnership going on between us. And the...energy. We would stare deeply into each other’s eyes. We had that magnetic kind of magic with each other, like no matter where the other is in the room, we find our way back to each other. And people literally perceived us as a couple. Hell, my other friends teased us about it. 

Any of this sound familiar?

Oh and I DO find her to be attractive and even sexy. And we flirted (still do lolol) a LOT. 

But I didn’t ever really.....actually want to have sex with her. Not that I would’ve even necessarily been opposed to it, because we were so close, but it just, wasn’t ever a desire for me.

This was interesting to experience, because I do identify as a lesbian, I have been romantically attracted to people, sexually attracted to people, and the two, as society expects, do usually go hand in hand for me. But with her, I honestly could’ve seen forever; like being exactly as we were, as life partners, I could’ve even seen myself raising kids with her, and I would have been TOTALLY, GENUINELY content with it, ‘cause my relationship with her filled me up in a way nothing else has. This was confusing as all hell to me for a long time, because I didn’t have a name for this until recently when I learned about the concept of Queerplatonic Relationships which again supersede friendship and often are life partnerships, but aren’t inherently romantic or sexual, even though they are quite deep. I actually think QPRs speak to that “limitless” “otherwise undefinable” kind of relationship dynamic. 

Sooo - and I promise I’m wrapping my story up - when my bff met her current boyfriend, which is her first super serious adult relationship, I didn’t quite experience jealousy, I mean I always envisioned a romantic partnership for her, and I still want that for me! Buuuut...my feelings were complicated because it’s like...I had to mourn what I lost, as our dynamic inherently changed, and the fact that I wasn’t her person anymore. Weird thing to process indeed. Also *ahem* SOUND FAMILIAR?

Without getting too carried away here (oh who am I kidding, I already have 😂) for comparison’s sake, I actually went through a crazy ass heartbreak with someone, also while I was in my mid 20s; someone to whom I WAS romantically, sexually, spiritually, connected and attracted. I mean I was IN LOVE with this woman and she broke my heart by not fully reciprocating my feelings and not wanting to be with me. I thought I was gonna die when we stopped talking. Hell, it’s been years and I still think about her. 

But if you were to ask me who the true love. of. my. life. has been so far...I’d pick my best friend! 

The funny thing is I think a LOT of women end up in these kinds of dynamics, ESPECIALLY queer women, maybe even more so queer women who form super close relationships to “straight” women (gotta put str8 in quotes ‘cause...this shit is inherently queer even though it’s not romantic/sexual). You all know what I’m talking about; You’d do anything for each other, there’s chemistry, connection, and care, yet it doesn’t quite fit into any box you try to give it. People read you as a couple. You know this about yourselves, and you just...accept it. Because what you have is actually beyond any label. You know?

Anyway, I think there’s actually something cool and radical about this and I know that queer people want and deserve romantic and sexual representation, but I think this IS an accurate kind of representation that happens all the time that isn’t appropriately covered or discussed in media.

In hindsight, I think that’s what really hooked me on R&I. I mean, I started watching ‘cause I thought they were lesbians, and I kept watching ‘cause I thought it would be canon! And yeah, I still think about what could’ve been with them: fanfiction is good for that. But why do I still watch the actual show? Well...I LIVED it. 

Now: do I think that Maura and Jane often tip the scales a lil’ TOOOOO far in the explicitly gay direction on this show? Oh hell yes! Do I think you can interpret them as two people who are madly in love, romantically, with each other, yet are too scared to do anything about it? Oh hell yes! Like I said I do ship Rizzles. BUT, if I’m honest about what is FULLY, CANONICALLY being portrayed, no subtext, ALL maintext: It’s 10000% a QPR. 

So no: Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli are certainly not JUST friends. They aren’t just colleagues, although their work relationship is just as powerful and awe inspiring as their personal one. They aren’t really like sisters, although they can quarrel like siblings at times. They aren’t truly romantic, although they are essentially life partners. They aren’t in a sexual relationship with each other; not that it couldn’t go there, but I also see how it wouldn’t need to go there, and how that doesn’t diminish the bond at all. They have something that I recognize -and something I think perhaps many of us recognize too- something beyond definition, because at the core of it they are true-blue soulmates who share a kind of unconditional love that is rarely found in ANY kind of relationship. If there is a definition that comes close to summing this kind of thing up: Queerplatonic Relationship is the answer!

Idk just felt like sharing this. Thanks for reading 🤓

[reasonsmandy]

Melodies in the Shadows

Billy Dunne x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by anon — Hi, can you do one where the oc is the lead singer along with Billy and her feelings for him are totally platonic and about the music but his feelings for her are unrequited romantic? This prompt is stuck in my head lol. Thanks!

✧.* summary — The connection and fire between you and Billy onstage was undeniable, but when it starts messing with Billy's feelings things get difficult.

✧.* warnings — angst, unrequited romance.

✧.* word count — 5.5k

✧.* 🎤 — Billy's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — Yes, I put Carrie Soto's character as her husband, I couldn't resist hahahaha. Good reading 🫶🏾

"Oh come on Y/N, you never agree to hang out with us." Karen says leaning over the keyboard, and you grimace trying to maintain your starting position.

Warren walks over to you, putting one of his arms around your shoulder. "Dale niña, not even on my birthday?"

You hold the smile, he was one of your favorites there. "Alright alright, but don't get used to it, huh."

Eddie opens a big smile upon his confirmation, Rojas jumps around you excitedly, Karen winks at you proudly and out of the corner of your eye you can see Billy smiling at you. You guys drive to the bar in Warren's van, he's babbling the whole way about the girl he's into and asking you lots of questions about what you thought of the situation, you do your best to help him but it's been so long since you've dated someone that you probably weren't very helpful.

As you step into the bar, you find yourself in a lively and bustling setting. The air is filled with the familiar aromas of alcohol and the chatter of patrons, creating a comfortable and inviting atmosphere. The lighting is warm and ambient, casting a soft glow that accentuates the cozy ambiance of the space.

The clientele reflects the diverse tapestry of the era, with individuals from all walks of life coming together to unwind and enjoy a night out. You see groups of friends huddled around tables, engaged in animated conversations and laughter. Couples share intimate moments, stealing glances and exchanging affectionate gestures. The bar is a place where people seek solace and connection, a respite from the demands of their daily lives.

Behind the bar, the staff exude a sense of professionalism and efficiency. Bartenders skillfully mix drinks, their movements fluid and precise. They engage in friendly banter with customers, effortlessly balancing their tasks while providing attentive service. The bar staff's commitment to their craft and the satisfaction of their patrons is evident in the way they navigate the space with confidence and expertise.

The music fills the air at just the right volume, setting the mood without overpowering conversations. The playlist features a mix of popular hits and timeless classics, catering to a wide range of tastes. The melodies create a backdrop of familiarity and comfort, evoking a sense of ease and enjoyment for those gathered.

Warren didn't take long, as soon as he arrived he went straight towards a waitress (probably the girl he kept talking about in the van) Eddie rolls his eyes and follows him, Karen takes Graham's hand and takes him to a place you decided not to look. So you had been alone with Billy Dunne, you never exchanged many words other than stuff about the album so an awkward silence settles over you

You decide to sit at the most secluded empty table, avoiding the curious gazes that were cast upon you as you were recognized. The older Dunne seemed to want to talk but didn't know how to start the conversation.

It had been a few months since he and Camila had decided to break up, and whether he wanted to or not, he felt a great absence of her and little Julia's presence at home. He still didn't know how to identify how his feelings were about all of this, he suffered a lot with the departure of his first love, but they weren't getting along and separating would be the best for their daughter.

During these months he had let a lot go on paper, writing several songs to express his frustrations and desires. You admired the way he knew how to express himself through the lyrics, you knew it wasn't easy sharing a piece of yourself with the world, making yourself vulnerable in front of several people, accessing those wounds that haven't fully healed yet, you've been there.

"How's little Jules doing?" You question, trying to break the awkward silence.

Billy takes a sip of his beer, mentally thanking you for taking the initiative in the conversation. "She 's great. Spending the week with her mom."

You take your first sip of the cold beer, the refreshing liquid soothing your parched throat. Sitting beside Billy, you feel a tinge of nervousness dissipating as you embark on this newfound closeness. The conversation flows effortlessly, and together, you explore the meanings behind your songs—stories and emotions you've never shared with anyone else. With each sip, your comfort grows, allowing you to reveal a vulnerable side of yourself.

As you take another sip, the beer dances on your tongue, further easing your inhibitions. You start sharing bits of your personal life—the place of your birth, cherished memories from your childhood, and even your first crush. Laughter fills the air as you exchange jokes and humorous anecdotes, forming a bond that deepens with every passing sip. The warmth in your heart matches the warmth of the bar, as you find solace in Billy's presence.

Sip after sip, the beer becomes a conduit for the growing connection between you and Billy. The alcohol begins to take hold, and you notice a shift in his demeanor as well. He starts confiding in you, sharing his own life stories and insecurities. His words spill forth, guided by the liquid courage flowing through his veins. You listen intently, holding space for him without judgment, offering advice and understanding. It's a moment of vulnerability and trust, as you both find comfort in this shared conversation.

The glasses clink and the sips continue, blurring the lines between sober and tipsy. You and Billy have created a sanctuary within the bar, a space where honesty and acceptance reign. The weight of your personal histories melds with the intoxicating allure of the night, forging a connection that transcends the boundaries of mere acquaintances. With each sip, you venture deeper into uncharted emotional territory, weaving a tapestry of understanding and friendship that is both intoxicating and liberating.

For Billy, the night at the bar was a revelation. As he watched you take the first sips of your beer, he couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation. He had long admired your talent and respected your professionalism, but he yearned for something more—a connection that transcended the confines of their shared band. He wanted to know who you were behind this professional structure, who was Y/N?

With every passing sip, he witnessed a transformation in you. As you opened up about the meanings behind your songs and shared personal anecdotes, he felt a growing sense of awe and admiration. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a side of you he had longed to discover. He marveled at your vulnerability, appreciating the trust you placed in him to hear your innermost thoughts.

But it wasn't just about you sharing your stories. It was the way you listened—the way you leaned in, your eyes fixed on him, your words comforting and devoid of judgment. As the conversation progressed, fueled by the sips of your beer, he found himself confiding in you, revealing parts of his life that he had kept hidden for so long.

With each sip, a weight was lifted from his shoulders. The alcohol acted as a gentle catalyst, emboldening him to speak his truth and confront his insecurities. And you, with your genuine understanding and empathy, created a space where he felt seen and accepted.

Billy hadn't experienced such genuine connection in a long time. The band had always been focused on the music, the performances, and the business side of things. Personal conversations were rare, and he often felt like an island adrift in a sea of acquaintances. But that night, in the warmth and intimacy of the bar, he realized he had found a kindred spirit in you.

Being heard and welcomed by you awakened a sense of belonging within Billy. It was a reminder that music wasn't the only language that could bridge the gap between two souls. In your presence, he felt a renewed sense of purpose and inspiration—a newfound energy that would infuse his artistry.

As the night wore on and the beers continued to be consumed, the shared conversation and connection solidified. The walls he had built around himself started to crumble, making way for authentic connections to be forged. And in you, he found a confidante and friend—one who embraced his vulnerabilities and nurtured his dreams.

Billy hoped that this newfound connection would extend beyond the boundaries of that one night. The sips of your beer had unveiled a door to a deeper connection, one that held the promise of more shared moments, more conversations, and perhaps even a love that blossomed in the most unexpected of places. And after a long time he felt butterflies in his stomach, that need to be close to someone. He knew that from now on he would be facing something unknown but it felt so good.

…

You wake up with a manifestation in your head, the pain was so intense that it felt like several monkeys were banging cymbals there. The hangover hit hard, and it took you a while to remember what the hell happened last night. The clock next to your bed indicated you were late, but knowing your bandmates probably none of them had woken up yet so you take your time to get ready.

When you park your car in Sound City the movement was calm, you question if in fact you had recording today, but when you notice Billy approaching you calm down. Your bandmate opens your car door and offers you a cigarette, you accept.

You smoke in silence for a while, until you decide to ask a question about last night. "So I bothered you a lot last night? I'm an insufferable drunk." You deeply inhale the cigarette.

"Not really, I enjoyed your company." Billy smiles, not taking his eyes off you.

You decide to face him but regret it when you see the intense way his gaze penetrates you. "Really? I didn't even do anything embarrassing... How boring."

Billy laughs at your comment, you are surprised to see him so loose in your presence. "Well, if Bowe is an embarrassing subject for you." He squirms and you immediately turn away at the name, Billy laughs.

"Oh please tell me I didn't talk about him..." You feel your body freezing, you didn't want to touch such personal matters.

"No big deal… just" He starts to say before quoting you. "The best sex I've ever had."

"Oh my fucking god." You hide your face in your hands, Billy takes his hand to your shoulder.

You step back a little, trying to take your space in a discreet way. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"You better not Billy Dunne." You laugh, taking another drag on your cigarette, taking your gaze back to the horizon."Alright, time to work." You put out your cigarette on your tongue, throwing it away before getting out of the car.

Billy watches you get out of the car, still shocked by the way you put out the legal narcotic, he feels his heart miss a beat.He frowns, a vain way of trying to push the thoughts away, and chases after you.

As you made your way towards the recording studio, a sense of apprehension filled your heart. While you cherished the camaraderie and professional dynamic you shared with the band, a part of you longed for something more. You were tired of keeping your personal life strictly professional, of holding back and shielding yourself from vulnerability.

Deep down, you yearned to let the band members into your life, to share more than just the stage. They had become an integral part of your world, and you wanted to invite them into the depths of your being. But the intensity that had grown between you and Billy frightened you, for it had the power to disrupt the delicate balance you had established.

The connection you shared with Billy was undeniable, and it stirred emotions within you that you had not anticipated. There was a magnetic pull, a yearning for deeper understanding, and it both thrilled and terrified you. You couldn't deny the electricity that crackled in the air whenever you were near each other, but you feared the consequences of letting it ignite into something more.

You were torn between the desire to break free from the constraints of professionalism and the fear of losing the stability and harmony within the band. The thought of exploring the uncharted territory of personal connection with Billy made your heart race, but it also made you question the potential risks and complications it could bring.

As you entered the recording studio, the weight of these conflicting emotions settled upon your shoulders. The longing to let the band members see the real you warred with the fear of opening Pandora's box. You knew that the intensity between you and Billy could either strengthen the bond you shared or shatter it into irreparable pieces.

And so, as you prepared to immerse yourself in the music once again, you made a conscious choice. You would remain committed to your professional persona, maintaining the boundaries that had kept the band strong. The temptation to let your guard down, to let the intensity between you and Billy take over, would have to be quelled.

Deep down, however, a flicker of hope remained. Perhaps, one day, when the timing was right and the stars aligned, you would find the courage to let the band into the depths of your heart. For now, though, you would continue to treasure the unique connection you shared on stage, nurturing it with every note, and keeping the flames of your personal desires at bay.

…

As the days turned into weeks and the band continued to create music together, you couldn't help but notice Billy's unwavering presence in your life. His friendship and professional dedication resonated deeply within you, even though you saw him purely as a friend and co-worker.

Every interaction with Billy held a special significance, each moment leaving an indelible mark on your heart. His unwavering support, his infectious laughter, and his genuine care for your well-being stirred a warmth within you that you cherished. He had become a trusted confidant, a pillar of strength amidst the chaos of the music industry.

But as time went on, you began to sense a subtle shift in Billy's demeanor. There was an undercurrent of something more, an unspoken depth that you couldn't quite pinpoint. His gaze lingered a little longer, his touch carried a gentle tenderness that sent shivers down your spine.

It became increasingly clear that Billy's feelings were evolving into something beyond friendship. You felt a twinge of guilt knowing that your own emotions didn't mirror his, that the connection you shared remained purely on a professional level. It pained you to think that you might unwittingly be leading him on, that your friendship might be giving him false hope.

…

The moon bathed the beach in a gentle radiance, casting a dreamlike glow on the sand. You and Billy found yourselves seated side by side, the rhythmic lullaby of the waves creating an atmosphere of calmness and intimacy.

As the conversation unfolded, Billy couldn't help but be captivated by your presence, his gaze filled with admiration and a growing affection. The unspoken connection between you whispered softly, yet you felt the weight of his emotions pressing against your heart.

With a hesitant smile, Billy broke the comfortable silence. "You know, Y/N, your voice is like a siren's call, enchanting everyone who hears it," he murmured, his voice tinged with sincerity.

You felt a warmth spread through your cheeks, a mix of pleasure and trepidation. Your eyes searched the shoreline, trying to find a way to steer the conversation away from the unspoken tension. "Thank you, Billy," you replied softly, your voice carrying a hint of restraint. "It's getting late, though. I should probably head home."

Billy's expression faltered for a moment, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features. He understood the subtle deflection in your response, the unspoken message that you wished to avoid discussing the depths of his feelings. Respecting your boundaries, he nodded, concealing his emotions behind a wistful smile.

"Of course, Y/N," he replied, his voice filled with understanding. "Take care on your way home."

As you stood up, brushing the sand off your clothes, you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. You cherished the friendship you shared with Billy and dreaded the possibility of hurting him. The unspoken truth hung heavy in the air, a delicate dance of unrequited emotions that you wished to protect, even at the cost of your own happiness.

With a final glance toward Billy, you turned away, the sound of the waves providing solace as you walked into the night. The unspoken longing between you lingered, carried away by the sea breeze, leaving you to navigate the delicate balance of preserving your friendship while guarding against the depths of his affection.

…

As you observed Billy's interactions with you, his gestures filled with care and affection, you couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility. You questioned whether it was fair to allow him to nurture these feelings, to let them grow in a one-sided dance of emotions. The thought of inadvertently causing him pain made your heart ache.

Yet, despite your reservations, you found yourself cherishing the moments you spent with Billy even more. His presence became a source of comfort and solace, a safe haven where you could be yourself without fear of judgment. You admired his unwavering support and the way he celebrated your victories with genuine enthusiasm.

In the quiet moments when the band took a break, you caught glimpses of longing in Billy's eyes, a depth of emotion that mirrored your own but in a different context. You noticed the subtle apologies he made within his own heart, seeking solace in the knowledge that love could be both beautiful and painful.

You became acutely aware of the unrequited love that bloomed within Billy's heart. It weighed heavily on your conscience, as you questioned whether your friendship could ever be the same once his true feelings were revealed. You grappled with the complexities of unrequited affection, yearning for a way to preserve the bond you had while simultaneously alleviating the burden he carried.

And so, with a mix of compassion and hope, you navigated the delicate balance of friendship and unrequited love. You treasured the moments you shared, seeking to maintain the authenticity and trust that defined your connection. You hoped that one day, whether through a change of heart or a mutual understanding, the path you walked alongside Billy would find its harmony, even if it veered away from the realms of romantic love.

Until then, you remained committed to preserving the precious bond you shared, appreciating the unique friendship that had blossomed amidst the music. You vowed to navigate this delicate dance with grace and understanding, offering solace and support to the friend who held your heart, even if you couldn't return his affections in the same way.

…

As you step into the venue for the album release party, a wave of excitement washes over you. The record company has pulled out all the stops, creating a glamorous and vibrant atmosphere that envelopes the space. The room is adorned with sparkling lights, cascading down from the ceiling and casting a shimmering glow upon the crowd.

A soft haze of colorful smoke drifts through the air, adding an ethereal touch to the ambiance. The walls are adorned with larger-than-life posters of your band, showcasing the album cover and capturing the essence of your music. The sound of lively chatter mingles with the upbeat tunes playing in the background, creating an energetic buzz.

The venue itself is grand, with high ceilings and ornate decorations. Glittering chandeliers dangle overhead, casting a warm glow upon the dance floor where guests sway to the rhythm of the music. The space is filled with a diverse mix of people, from music industry professionals to passionate fans, all sharing in the anticipation of the album's release.

Colorful cocktail bars line the periphery, manned by skillful bartenders crafting signature drinks that add a touch of sophistication to the festivities. Servers weave through the crowd, offering trays of delectable hors d'oeuvres and bite-sized delicacies.

As your gaze sweeps across the room, you catch sight of familiar faces. Band members mingle with guests, exuding an air of excitement and pride. The collective energy is contagious, and you can't help but feel a swell of pride and gratitude for the journey that has led you all to this moment.

Your eyes meet Bowe's, your husband's, and a surge of warmth fills your heart. He stands by your side, his presence comforting and supportive. Bowe, always curious about the band and eager to finally meet them, takes in the surroundings with a mix of awe and genuine interest.

Bowe, your husband, is an intriguing blend of athleticism and charm. A professional tennis player, he carries himself with an effortless grace, much like the fluid movements he displays on the court. Tall and lean, his presence exudes a quiet confidence that draws people in.

You first met Bowe at a memorable soirée in Malibu, known as the famed Riva's party. It was a star-studded affair, filled with dazzling lights, pulsating music, and a guest list that read like a who's who of the entertainment industry. The air crackled with excitement, and the scent of salty ocean breeze mingled with the laughter of the crowd.

Bowe stood out amidst the sea of glamorous guests, his athletic frame and tousled hair making him resemble a god of sport emerging from the waves. There was an air of intrigue about him, a magnetic energy that captured your attention from across the room. Sparks flew as your eyes met, and a conversation sparked between you that felt effortless and natural.

Since that fateful night, you and Bowe have embarked on a journey together, creating a life built on mutual support and understanding. The passage of time has only deepened your connection, weaving threads of shared experiences, laughter, and unwavering devotion.

In the realm of professional tennis, Bowe has carved a name for himself, weaving his way through intense competitions and capturing the hearts of fans with his skillful play. Off the court, he carries himself with a quiet humility, his easy smile and genuine interest in others setting him apart.

Just like his powerful serve that leaves opponents in awe, Bowe possesses an innate ability to make you feel seen and cherished. His unwavering support for your musical pursuits is a testament to his belief in your talent and the strength of your bond.

As the two of you navigate the glimmering world of the album release party, his presence by your side brings a sense of calm and stability. Confusion and surprise mingle with a tinge of unease as you notice the curious glances exchanged between Billy and the man by your side. You become acutely aware of the unspoken questions hanging in the air.

Seeking some clarification, Billy turns to Warren, his brows furrowed in confusion. He leans in, his voice tinged with disbelief,

"Who 's that guy? Do you know him?" He whispers, not wanting to draw attention.

Warren, momentarily taken aback by the question, raises an eyebrow. He starts to laugh thinking that the older Dunne wasn't being serious, but when he notices that he was serious he closes his face, "What do you mean, Billy? That's Y/N's husband."

Billy's expression shifts from confusion to shock, his eyes widening as he struggles to process the revelation. The realization dawns on him, and he finds himself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. It's as if a veil has been lifted, exposing a truth he had been unaware of, and the impact ripples through his thoughts and feelings.

Billy's mind races as he isolates himself for a moment, his gaze fixated on you and Bowe engaged in conversation with the rest of the band. He tries to recall if you had ever mentioned this significant connection before, searching his memory for any missed cues or hints.

As he stands there, a flicker of recognition sparks in his mind. It's like a fragment of a forgotten puzzle piece slowly resurfacing. The memory of that night at the bar begins to take shape, where you had shared more intimate details about your life. And then it hits him—the words you had spoken, slightly slurred with the effects of alcohol, but undoubtedly impactful.

In a vivid flashback, he remembers the moment when the two of you were deep in conversation, the atmosphere charged with a mix of vulnerability and camaraderie. You had mentioned, almost in passing, that Bowe was the best sex you had ever had. The confession had hung in the air, a statement that had briefly captivated Billy's attention but didn't fully register at the time.

You drink the rest of your bottle in one gulp, smiling at him when you're done. "You know, Bowe is the best sex I've ever had, that's probably a big reason for this." You chuckle pointing to the ring on your hand.

Now, with the realization crashing over him, he starts to understand the significance of those words. The memory plays like a bittersweet melody, reminding him of the invisible thread that connects you to someone else—a thread that he unknowingly tugged on, unaware of the depth of your connection with Bowe.

A mix of emotions floods through Billy—a combination of surprise, longing, and a hint of self-doubt. The weight of the unrequited feelings he had developed for you presses upon his chest, and the knowledge that your connection with Bowe goes far deeper than he had initially perceived creates a sense of distance between you.

Billy finds himself lost in a sea of emotions, grappling with the newfound understanding and the realization that the boundaries he had inadvertently crossed were much more intricate than he had imagined. He wonders if he should confront you, ask for clarification, or if it's best to keep his own feelings tucked away, locked in a box marked "unattainable."

In that moment of solitude, he watches you and Bowe, observing the easy camaraderie between you and the genuine happiness that radiates from your interactions. The thought lingers in his mind—a constant reminder of the invisible wall that separates him from the love he yearns for.

With a heavy sigh, Billy musters a half-hearted smile, masking the turmoil within. He decides to keep his discovery to himself, silently acknowledging that some secrets are best left untouched. Resigned to the reality of the situation, he rejoins the group, knowing that he must navigate the complex dynamics of friendship and unrequited love with care, preserving the fragile balance between them all.

The party begins to wind down, and you notice Billy standing alone, his gaze fixed on Bowe, your husband. Concern fills your heart, and you decide to approach him, hoping to understand the mix of emotions that seem to have taken hold of him.

Taking a deep breath, you walk up to Billy and offer a warm smile. "Hey, Dunne. You seem a little lost in thought. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." He smiles weakly, avoiding looking directly at you. "I'm just thinking."

You can follow his gaze, he is looking directly at your husband and the rest of the band talking and laughing, you found yourself in a complicated situation that squeezed your heart.

He sighs rubbing his hands over his face in frustration, you can see tears welling up in his eyes. "I think I misunderstood a lot of things here." He gestures between you two.

A mixture of sadness and guilt washes over you, understanding the pain he's experiencing. You take a deep breath, searching for the right words to convey your thoughts while being careful not to shatter the bond you've built.

"I've been grappling with these feelings, Y/N," he continues, his voice a delicate whisper. "Feelings that go beyond our friendship. I've tried to suppress them, to pretend they don't exist, but seeing you with him, it's made me realize how deeply I care for you."

Your breath catches in your throat as you try to gauge the depth of his words, a sense of heaviness settling upon your shoulders. You instinctively lean in closer, eager to understand his perspective while being mindful of the fragile balance between friendship and unrequited love.

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better." You confess, grabbing the man's shoulder. "I never meant to hurt you... I hope you know that."

Billy nods, still staring at the horizon. He feels butterflies in his stomach at the touch of her hand on his shoulder. "I know." He assures in a whisper. "It's just... Fuck, I really fucking like you."

You remain silent, listening calmly and attentively. He continues, "I don't expect you to leave him for me, in fact I understand you. It's just that I've never felt anything so intense before."

"You and I have a great connection Billy." You tell him, not daring to meet his eyes. "We really work together and we have a perfect bond, and really don't want to lose that." You take in air, and let it out slowly. "I wish I could make it easier for both of us."

"I would never lose you princess." He says fondly, turning to look at you, you feel butterflies in your stomach from the tension."Believe me, nothing will change." He assures you.

"Thank you Billy." You open a grateful smile, and he smiles back. "Wanna join us?"

"Give me some time, I still need to get used to all this." He says playfully, offering you a cigarette. You take it and he lights it up for you.

"I'll leave you alone." You say getting up to leave. "Take care, huh. We have a tour to do."

As you rise to your feet, a mix of emotions swirls within you. The unspoken tension hangs in the air, leaving both of you uncertain about what lies ahead. Yet, there is a mutual understanding that the bond you share is too valuable to risk.

Billy takes a final drag from his cigarette before flicking it away, his eyes tracing your figure as you prepare to rejoin the celebration. "I'll be right behind you," he says softly, his voice filled with a blend of hope and apprehension.

With a bittersweet smile, you turn away, making your way back into the lively crowd. The music beckons, filling your ears with its rhythm, and you allow yourself to be swept up in the joyous atmosphere. The night continues, a crescendo of laughter, music, and celebration.

As the party reaches its peak, you steal glances in Billy's direction, catching glimpses of his familiar smile and the shared moments you've treasured over time. There is a sense of comfort in knowing that despite the complexity of emotions, your connection remains intact.

Days turn into weeks, and the band embarks on the highly anticipated tour, carrying the weight of their new album and the memories of that transformative night at the release party. As you stand on stage, pouring your heart into each performance, there is an unspoken understanding between you and Billy—an acknowledgment of the uncharted territory, yet a commitment to preserving the essence of what you've built together.

In the realm of music, where emotions intertwine and lyrics capture the human experience, you find solace and inspiration. The journey ahead is uncertain, but with each note played and each lyric sung, you navigate the uncharted waters, drawing strength from the bond that has defined your musical partnership.

And so, the story continues, with melodies echoing and hearts entwined, as you embark on a new chapter where friendship, love, and music intertwine in harmonious complexity. As the tour unfolds, you carry the memories of that intimate conversation, forever etched in the depths of your shared history—a testament to the power of connection, even in the face of unrequited love.

Together, you navigate the intricacies of friendship and passion, striving to strike a delicate balance, all while cherishing the music that brought you together in the first place. And as you take the stage night after night, the unspoken understanding between you and Billy permeates every song, weaving a tale of love, loss, and the beauty found within the complexities of the human heart.

The journey is far from over, and as you step into the spotlight once more, you find solace in the music, in the bond you share, and in the unwavering support that emanates from your bandmates and fans alike. In this realm of creativity and connection, you embrace the unknown, ready to face whatever melodies and harmonies lie ahead, guided by the power of friendship, and the undeniable magic of music.

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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[heartless-aro]

What is relationship anarchy?

I occasionally see people on here talking about relationship anarchy, but I don’t often see people talk about what that means, so I wanted to explain it for anyone who might not know.

Although relationship anarchy isn’t specifically an “aromantic thing,” the aromantic organization AUREA gives a pretty good definition of what it is. AUREA defines relationship anarchy as “The belief that no kinds of intimate relationships are superior to others, despite some being more highly valued in society. It is usually non-monogamous and is based on the premise that a relationship doesn’t have to conform to socially-prescribed norms. Community interdependence is another important facet of RA (“community not couples”). Opposed to amatonormativity and not specific to aromantics.”

In relationship anarchy, you essentially do away with society’s rules about what your relationships should look like and make your own rules. This means that you don’t compare or rank people/relationships in your life against one another and that you decide how many partners/relationships you want (with the knowledge and consent of all individuals involved), whether that means having no partner, having one partner, or having many partners. It also means that instead of trying to force your relationship to fit neatly into categories of platonic, romantic, sexual, etc., you let your relationship exist as it is, and from there, explicitly communicate with your partner (or each individual partner, if you have more than one) about what you want from your relationship with that person, how you would like to express/explore intimacy with them, etc.

Relationships are often split into categories like platonic, romantic, etc., and from there, societal norms dictate what you can and cannot do in each type of relationship (for example “romantic relationships must involve sex, kissing, cohabitation, and exclusivity/monogamy,” or “in a friendship, you cannot have sex, kiss, live together, raise children, or get married”). Relationship anarchy involves freeing yourself from that and deciding for yourself what will and will not be included in your relationship.

If you have a relationship built off romantic feelings, but you don’t want to kiss your partner, you should ignore the expectation that romantic relationships are “supposed to” involve kissing, and instead clearly communicate with your partner that you don’t want to kiss, and allow yourself to have a romantic relationship without kissing.

Likewise, if you have a relationship based on platonic feelings (e.g., a friendship), and you want to have sex with your partner in that relationship or you want to raise children with them, tell them so and, instead of worrying about whether or not platonic relationships are “supposed to” include these things, allow yourself to have a platonic relationship that involves having sex, or that involves raising children together (so long as your partner consents to this, of course). If you so choose, you can even do away with labels like platonic, romantic, queerplatonic, etc. altogether, rather than try to categorize your feelings or your relationship(s).

Core Beliefs Defining Relationship Anarchy:

So to break down what this really means, I’m going to talk a bit about some of the core tenants that Andie Nordgren, the coiner of the term “relationship anarchy” used to define it. Any direct quotes from this point on will be from an English translation/adaptation of Nordgren’s Swedish language relationship anarchy pamplet “Relationsanarki i 8 punkter,” which was published by Interacting Arts in 2006.

Some core tenants of relationship anarchy are listed and elaborated on below. (Note: There are more than those listed here, since for the purpose of this post I wanted to limit the list to core defining concepts. At the end of the post, I have provided a link to the Andie Nordgren’s full list and explanations, which you can read for more information. )

“Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique” - Love does not have to be limited to one couple. It is possible to love multiple people, and your love for one person does not diminish your love for another. People and relationships in your life should not be ranked or compared with one another; instead, each relationship and person should be cherished individually.

“Love and respect instead of entitlement” - Each relationship in your life should be based off a respect for your partner’s independence and autonomy. Rather than expecting your partner to conform to what you want or what is socially expected of them, you should respect their boundaries/personal beliefs and “let loved ones choose paths that keep their integrity intact, without letting this mean a crisis for the relationship.”

“Find your core set of relationship values” - Figure out how you want to be treated, what your boundaries are, how you want your relationships to work, what your expectations are in a relationship, and what sort of people you want in your life. “Find your core set of values and use it for all relationships. Don’t make special rules and exceptions as a way to show people you love them ‘for real.’” Although all relationships will look a bit different, you should have certain basic boundaries, expectations, etc. that you apply to all relationships (For example, if you have certain boundaries that you would not allow a close friend to cross, you should expect a romantic partner to respect those same boundaries).

“Build for the lovely unexpected” - Let yourself and your relationships be spontaneous. Rather than worrying about what you “should” do, focus on what you actually want to do. “Organize based on a wish to meet and explore each other - not on duties and demands and disappointment when they are not met.”

“Change through communication” - If you want to do something in your relationship that deviates from social norms, you should communicate about this explicitly and outright. Say what you think and feel and ask your partner(s) about stuff.

“Customize your commitments” - “Relationship anarchy is not about never committing to anything - it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you, and freeing them from norms dictating that certain types of commitments are a requirement for love to be real, or that some commitments like raising children or moving in together have to be driven by certain kinds of feelings. Start from scratch and be explicit about what kind of commitments you want to make with other people!”

[gaytventhusiast]

Labels, Asexuality, Aromanticism and Headcanon.

I need to just get this off my chest because it's a common trend I've noticed in a couple fandoms I'm in and I think it needs to be discussed. Of course I'm open to discussion on this. There's a chance I'm wrong.

Something about the way fandom treats s/x repulsed characters in media just sits with me bad. In multiple fandoms I've been in now, I've witnessed a clearly stated canonically s/x repulsed asexual character be put into 'intimate' situations under guise of a 's/x positive' interpretation. What bothers me, personally, is that these characters don't and would never. One example is with Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. I have accidentally stumbled across explicit fics involving him before that are tagged 's/x positive asexual Jonathan Sims'. But the thing about him is that at no point in the podcast is he even mentioned to be asexual. In fact, the information you get about him is actually that he simply doesn't. That is all you know, that he doesn't, ever. And yet, due to the nuances of the asexual label and the fact that that description of Jon technically puts him under it, folks have been using those technicalities to put him into scenarios he never would enter into. As much as I hate to say it, it almost feels like there's a sort of s/x repulsed asexual erasure going on within the aspec community. And for context, this is coming from an aspec who is positive about that kind of intimacy. This is not just limited to asexuality either. I've also witnessed this happening to aromantic characters with fandom putting them in 'queer platonic relationships' that read as romantic ones. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a platonic pairing, in fact, I'm all for it. But time and time again I see sappy art with blushing or otherwise romantic undertones and I feel... just sort of weird about it. I understand where this all comes from. People have a desire to see themselves in characters and I respect that. But you can do that without the erasure of both asexuals and aromatics that simply do not. When it comes to being aro and/or ace, I recognise that, I, as someone who, although aspec, is still is open to relationships and 'intimacy', am far less scrutinised for it by society than those who aren't. And although sadly there is barely any representation in media for the kind of aspec I am, it doesn't mean that it feels okay to erase other asexual identities and their representation in the process. Summary: So this is all to say. It personally makes me uncomfortable when I see Repulsed Asexual and Aromatic characters turned pseudo-s/xual and romantic by the fans through the use of Label Nuances and Technicalities. (Note: This is not intended to be an attack on anyone personally. I simply think it's a much needed to be discussed topic that I've noticed happening more and more recently) On a more positive note: For anyone looking for aspec representation that involves a character who loves the idea of romance and has experienced giddy feelings in the past but comes to the realisation they might be aromantic through the help of an aroace friend, go listen to The Penumbra Podcast season 4 episode 'Rita Minute 4: 4Ever Love'. I've never felt so seen in terms of my sexuality before. It's an underrated gem of an aspec central minisode.

[visinox]

What is your favorite ship and why?👀👀👀

Ehehe what a question :) I'll answer this for iterator ships! I do have favorite slugcat ships as well but those will come with my slugcat design post.

I have two favorites actually, that would be trafficlight and lilypad! Both of which are present with my version of the iterators.

Trafficlight is appealing to me in a way I haven't really found a way to articulate ahah. I just think Hara and Suns' personalities provide excellent contrast, I always am a sucker for the charismatic bold type and shy nervous type falling for each other. With the added layers of Suns making mistakes at times and Hara having the guts to tell them how it is.

With how I portray trafficlight, they realize their feelings at the exact same time but have absolutely opposite responses. Hara accepts it and begins to watch if Suns feels the same, while Suns is absolutely petrified AAHAH.

My version of Suns is quite cynical and tends to overthink, they also feel obligated to not go against the ancient's wishes lest something terrible happen (at least they think something might). They feel if they were to love Hara they would become tethered to life, which obviously they aren't supposed to be. So they fear angering the ancients spirits or whatever.

They are also aware they are absolutely head over heels for Hara, and they also fear loving him too much- Like they won't know how to move on when something bad inevitably happens.

Meanwhile, Hara has none of this existential dread LMAO. He doesn't care what the ancients think, and he has accepted they will all meet an end at some point, so they might as well enjoy things while it lasts. It takes Suns time to calm their anxieties, but they do eventually.

My version of Lilypad, meanwhile, is queerplatonic! That's why I kind of struggle tagging it as specifically lilypad- But y'know AHHWFUIIHFW. I will probably in the future though just with the addition of queerplatonic tags :) I'm still a bit new at this Tumblr buidness

But mine at least, they have an incredibly intimate friendship, they love each other very much, they know each other better then anyone else, they are besties 5 ever

If Suns is Hara's romantic soulmate, Moon is Hara's platonic soulmate. They are the oldest in their local group so they have a very particular "old friend" dynamic, something they call each other frequently. They're just a couple of geezers, they've always been a constant for each other through thick and thin.

I love this because they're just two goobers who love each other and I love that for them! They're mellow, like to have a good laugh, a very comfortable ship indeed. When things aren't going to hell that is.

And that's the post!

So sorry it was a bit lengthy, but thank you for asking this, and thank you for reading! It was very fun to answer aha. And both include Hara, alas he has two hands for a reason <3.

[animezinglife]

Just a little anecdotal thought:

For milder-mannered, suffer-in-silence, or less obviously "passionate" women, the whole “intense feelings” thing can go one way or another--both being extreme.

You might think a guy’s attractive, shut down completely, and avoid him like the plague because it’s too much for you to handle at that point in time (for whatever reason).

You might also find yourself acting completely out of character and realize how difficult it can be to keep that behavioral anomaly reined in.

The first one’s a miserable, self-loathing experience.

The second one’s a massive headache to deal with.

But here’s the thing: both are often indicative of something being extremely intense, which a lot of these women aren’t used to feeling at all or have trained themselves so thoroughly to let their own wants slide that it never actually occurs to them to act.

They also don’t always know how to react and will drive themselves insane either fighting it or fighting everything that feels against what they know as their nature. Neither happens with lukewarm feelings or complete lack of interest.

Speaking as a completely third party objective with no personal interest or experience in the matter, I wouldn’t be so quick to rule Lucien out of Elain’s future.

No, she’s not in love with him at this point in the story—I’m not claiming that. He’s not in love with her, either. He’s taking that step forward to meet her halfway and trying to get to know her. He wants to see if it could work since the universe tied them together anyway.

If they could love each other.

Meanwhile, poor Elain who’s had everything she knows ripped out from under her gets a mating bond slapped onto her the second she emerges from the Cauldron in an entirely new body with entirely new, extreme senses.

The bond is strong. The bond isn't lukewarm at all, and she doesn't know how to handle it. She doesn't want to have this involuntary connection forced on her, especially when it's something potentially so intimate in nature.

She's not ready to confront it, so she avoids it. It's not Lucien personally she has an issue with--while she has been cold towards him, I have no doubt she hasn't enjoyed doing so and that when she's thought about it, she realizes how polite and respectful he's been throughout this jarring realization for them both.

She doesn't know him like we do: doesn't know his past, and doesn't know of his wonderful qualities, about Jesminda, the pain he's endured, and the warmth and kindness he still possesses despite it all.

Remember too the only real examples of mating bonds she has to go off of are Feyre and Rhys. Nesta and Cassian. To some extent (whether they're mates or not), Amren and Varian.

Feyre and Rhys's tension despite having been together for awhile now is always present and always palpable. It's hard not to be hit over the head with something like that as a regular human when a couple's connection is that strong and there's that much going on between them, and Elain--an already intuitive person--now has to be faced with that in all her heightened senses glory? About how public those things automatically are?

Then there's Nesta and Cassian, which she would've observed the rocky, stressful start of versus that development and where they are now. That too would be overwhelming (and likely, to a more reserved female like Elain in such capacities, a little embarrassing).

Top that all off with the man she thought she loved was taken from her by circumstances that weren't her choice and that his rejection of her was brutal. Think about how badly that must have stung and how any sense of security she might have had left was stolen away, too.

Now the universe has decided that she and Lucien of all males are mates.

Lucien, her sister's friend. That alone must imply to her he has some good qualities Feyre values.

Lucien, who her sister spends at least five minutes per internal monologue platonically thirsting over in her commentary.

Lucien, a trained courtier with a mix of elegance and mischief. A mix of refinement and masculine roughness.

Prythian can't seem to go five seconds without commenting on his attractiveness, including the villains.

The first thing he does amidst the chaos and horror is cover her with his jacket to protect her dignity and carry her gently out of the water. Someone who she, despite knowing it's not his fault, will forever to some degree associate with that terrible day (even if he was one of the few who offered her kindness).

He's kept his distance from her per her wishes. When they are around each other, he has always been polite, reserved, cautious, and respectful. He's merely offered his hand and given her every choice in terms of taking it.

Elain is overwhelmed and still healing. It's not in her nature as it was Feyre's or Nesta's to fall into whatever sort of relationship with men or males easily.

The one time she take that leap, she was hurt badly for it by a beta bitch man she thought loved her and whom she'd planned to spend the rest of her life with.

Even if everything else is overwhelming--even if a part of her may want to get to know Lucien at least a little--it wouldn't surprise me at all if she's every bit as afraid of where that might lead if she does end up feeling something beyond the bond for him.

And she very well may sense that as well: that once she takes that step, he's going to be the type she could fall in love with.

He's a chance she's not quite ready to take.