#illogicalweek2019

[noire73]

So, this was meant for “Day 1 - Enemies to Friends” for the Illogical Husbands week but I didn’t have time last week due to work, BUT I already had the sketches done so I wanted to finish it. 

[it-is-ineffable]

Illogical Husbands Week 2019, day four: On the job case.

I didn’t really know what to do with this one so I drew this :) It’s again just a sketch, sorry.

Day 2: Let’s Date.

[kerriss]

what are you two up too?

[deviousomens]

Illogical Husbands Week Day 1: Enemies to Lovers.

Alec was relying on Bill’s testimony. He was going to be their expert witness but during cross examination Bill stated facts that helped the other side. It wasn’t intentional, but he swore to tell the truth.

Alec was furious with him even though he shouldn’t have been. They exchanged heated words and Bill threw up his hands in frustration, “What did you want me to say?”

Alec didn’t know how to answer him. He just looked him up and down then stormed off. He knew it wasn’t Bill’s fault, all he was asked to do was tell the truth and that’s what he had done.

They avoid each other the following weeks especially while the trial was going on. By some miracle, and good detective work they managed to get a conviction.

Alec usually wasn’t one for celebrating but Ellie had pointed out how it will help morale if he came out and had a drink with his team. So begrudgingly, he promised to meet them down at the local for a drink. One drink.

When he finally walked into the pub the chatter from the patrons was just a little too much for Alec but he pushed through the crowd. Of course, they had to pick a night that some sports game was on so fans crowded around the bar to watch the game on the multiple screens.

Ellie managed to find him and lead him to their table where 5 others were standing around drinking and glancing at the game. “We started without you.” She said with a smile then held up a beer for him.

“I need something stronger.” He said to her and she asked if he wanted her to go to the bar. He told her no and dodged people as he headed to the bar himself. Once there he tried catching the attention of one of the bartenders but they couldn’t hear him over the crowd.

“Good luck, I’ve been trying to get her attention for over 5 minutes now.”

Alec turned around and there sat Bill, slightly slumped on the bar stool, holding onto an empty glass, his ice half melted.

“Congratulations on winning your case.” He said as he held up his empty glass.

“Thank you.” Alec said then turned back to the bartender who finally managed to spot him. “Whiskey please.” He said then nodded toward Bill. “And whatever he’s having.”

The bartender poured their drinks, Alec paid then took glass and turned to leave but stopped. He should have apologized for losing his temper, for yelling at Bill for something that wasn’t his fault but instead all he said was, “Have a good night.” then walked back to his group.

He made a very short speech, thanking everyone for their hard work and dedication then threw his drink back. He gave Ellie enough money to buy them a few more rounds before making his way to the exit.

once outside the stuffy pub he breathed in the night air and started for his car only to pause when he heard the sound of someone throwing up. He cautiously made his way to the side of the bar to see Bill bracing himself with one arm as he hunched over and spilled his guts.

Once done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand then turned to see Alec staring at him.

“Not my finest moment.” He said as he walked towards him.

“Let me give you a ride.” Alec said to him and Bill just looked at him as if he was a stranger.

“Why?” He asked.

“I’m trying to me nice.”

“Why?” He asked again.

“Just get in the bloody car Bill.” Alec told him as he opened the passenger door.

They drove in silence and Alec helped a wobbly Bill to his door. He dropped his house keys three times before Alec got frustrated and took them from him and unlocked and opened the door for him.

When they went in Bill sat down on his couch and stared up and Alec.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “For almost costing you the trial.”

Alec waved him quiet, “It’s not your fault, Bill and I shouldn’t have blamed you. I was frustrated and I took that out on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

Bill grinned, “Never thought I’d hear you said it.”

“Ah shut up.” Alec said to him, “Where’s your kitchen?”

Bill pointed and Alec went in that direction. 15 minutes later he came back with a cup of coffee for Bill.

“Sober up, Doctor.” He told him then placed Bill’s house keys on the coffee table, “I’ll check on you in the morning.”

Alec then left Bill slouched on his couch, a half grin on his face and in a daze.

That was the start of it, when it all changed. They started spending more time together, Bill was less stiff and closed off and Alec seemed less grouchy which benefited everyone around him.

One day at Bill’s, Alec could hear him singing in the bathroom as he got ready.

“Bill, why are you singing?” Alec called after him from the bedroom.

Bill stood in the doorway, his hair wild, a twinkle in his eye and a huge smile on his face, “I’m happy.” He simply said.

A small smile appeared on Alec’s face as he looked away shyly, “Me too.

[mj-irl]

It’s a big job

[illogicalhusbands]

Off we go - IllogicalWeek2019 day 1 (Enemies to Lovers)

Warning: nsfw-themed scenes; nothing explicit

Idk why I’m not following my own rules but why have these two turn enemies to lovers when they can be both at the same time?

-

“Sir,” Ellie said, clearing her throat. “I don’t mean to alarm you, but Dr. Masters is here.”

Alec Hardy let out a frustrated groan. “No,” he snapped. “We are not going to talk to him. Don’t even think about coming near him.”

They were sitting at the hospital lobby, surrounded by pristine white walls, the stench of alcohol stinging the air. Alec scrunched his nose in disgust at the sight of Bill Masters off at the side near the entryway leading to one of the ORs. The man had on a lab coat and was exchanging curt words with a colleague. Alec felt his blood pressure spike up at the sight of him.

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Look, sir, it’s been months since the incident and frankly, this is getting ridiculous. He’s already apologized--”

“He said he wished he hadn’t done it, not the same as apologizing. ‘It’ could’ve meant more things. Worse things that would’ve cost me my job.” Alec snarled.

“Here we go again. Why can’t you just let it go? This feud has done nothing but put you in a strop every time anyone so much as mentions his name!”

“Miller, need I remind you that his inane arrogance nearly cost us our entire case? Hm? How he intentionally made us believe that he had more to do with the murder of Walsh than he actually did?” Alec raised his brows, his lips pressed into a tight line. “And let’s not forget how he did all that simply because he hates my guts. Do you really think I could just set all that aside?”

“Well, I admit that accusing him of murder might not have gotten you off on the best foot...” Alec glared at her in response. “But it was all just a big misunderstanding! He was just the doctor on-call at the hotel. The real suspect is locked up and awaiting trial! Sir, I really think that if you set aside this childish rivalry you two have you could actually become good friends.”

“Friends?” Alec scoffed. “I would sooner be mauled by a bear.”

He eyed Masters out of his peripheral vision. Bill appeared to have just ended a shift and was pulling off his coat, revealing the short-sleeved dress shirt he wore underneath in a cream color that contrasted with his dark hair. Alec was struck by the sight of the muscles on his arms, shifting as Masters folded his coat absentmindedly.

“Still you have to admit,” Ellie’s voice broke him out of his reverie, her voice catching on a dreamy tone. “He’s quite the looker.”

“He’s... not unattractive.”

“Right,” Ellie said, already turning around. “Kath told me I could pick up the lab results from the swabs over at the north wing. You coming?”

Once again, Alec’s glare was all the answer she needed.

“Of course, your baseless disgust over hospitals makes you physically incapable,” she said in her best impression of his voice. Alec was not impressed. Ellie retracted, schooling the amused expression fighting to make its way on her face. “Be back in 20 minutes!” She set off in the direction of the labs.

Alec took a look around. Bill had disappeared from view, probably gone back home already.

He took a few steps towards one of the halls, aiming to stretch his legs when a hand shot out to grab his arm. He barely had time to react to the threat before he was being manhandled into a dimly lit supply closet.

The door slammed shut behind him. He figured his fight-or-flight response should’ve been triggered more considering that his profession made him more attuned to danger already but there was also a deeper, more concrete instinct in his mind that already knew what to expect.

There were lips ghosting near his ear.

“Didn’t expect to see you today,” Bill said gruffly, his hand coming to rest on Alec’s back, traveling up his spine and eliciting a shiver. “What a lovely surprise.”

“I was hoping I wouldn’t run into you. Praying, more like,” Alec replied coldly.

Bill chuckled, his nose skimming the line on the side of his neck. “Now, I have a hard time believing that. See, I’ve already heard you calling out to God and it did not sound anything like that.” His lips pressed on Alec’s neck, nipping at the skin. Alec tilted up his head to give him more access.

Bill’s scent engulfed him. He leaned back on the door for support as his knees threatened to give way. Bill’s hand was firm on his back, grounding him.

“We’re in a closet.” He said as if he needed to point out the obvious. “Someone could’ve seen us, you insufferable git!”

Bill captured his lips in a wild, searing kiss. Alec melted against him, his own mouth pliant, satisfied with being molded by Bill’s more capable lips. His mind went blissfully blank, as it always did whenever Bill kissed him. It was equally gratifying and dangerous--the latter somehow an ever-present consequence whenever Bill was around. His hand went up to grasp the back of Bill’s head, deepening the kiss.

Bill smiled, playfully nipping at his bottom lip before pulling away just a bit. “You sure are needy today.”

Alec’s glare would’ve sent an ordinary person running for the hills. Bill was no ordinary person, instead he tugged on Alec’s waist, grinding their cocks and eliciting a gasp from the detective.

“Shut up!” Alec managed to say in between Bill’s thrusts. His hands scrambled to grip Bill’s shoulders. “Arrogant git.”

Bill’s answering smile was positively devious. In that moment, Alec knew he was putty in the doctor’s hands.

And then Bill pulled away, his hands returning to his sides, leaving Alec in complete confusion over what had just taken place.

Of course, he thought. That’s all this was to Bill. A game to see how bothered he could get Alec within the span of a few minutes. He’d been manipulating Alec once again and, just like the first time, Alec had walked straight into his trap.

He cursed himself for being played a fool.

Alec cleared his throat, mustering up what little dignity was left from him. “Well I hope you were entertained,” he said dryly. If he sounded somewhat sad he hoped that Bill didn’t notice. He turned around, hand resting on the doorknob.

“Idiot,” said Bill, arms snaking around Alec’s torso. Alec was frozen as Bill tucked his chin on the crook of Alec’s shoulder, placing light kisses on the fabric of his shirt. “I believe Miller will be back shortly. Wouldn’t want her to wonder. But I’ve a special evening planned out for you tonight.” Bill trailed kisses up his neck and behind his ear, making him shiver.

This was all a game. Another plot of the cunning Dr. Bill Masters to have him running in circles once again over a lead that will inevitably turn out to be nothing. He’d seen the danger firsthand, already knew the consequences of choosing to continue down this road. Devastation. Disappointment.

Despite this, Alec steeled himself and gripped Bill’s hand where it rested over his stomach and lifted it up to his face. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss over Bill’s knuckles. For once, it seemed that Bill was rendered wordless.

Alec sighed in resignation. Off we go. “I’ll see you tonight, then.” fin

[bewareofchris]

illogical week | day 3

G? | Alec Hardy/Bill Masters | Broadchurch/Masters of Sex | None | “Emergency”

Alec had answered the phone; he had nobody to blame but himself.  He should have learned (by now) that nothing good ever came from answering Bill’s home phone.  The only people that ever called it seemed to hate Bill on a scale that could not be measured by any normal standards. 

Only, this wasn’t a phone call from an errant religious group who had nothing better to do with their time.  It wasn’t a sales call.  It wasn’t a bill collector.  It wasn’t even that one woman that seemed to hate Bill especially on Wednesdays.  (Alec had no idea what that woman actually did or why she hated Bill.)

No, this was a call from the birthday party he’d dropped the youngest Masters child off at that morning.  (Alec had even said to Bill, when he accepted the job, weren’t adults expected to stay with their children under such circumstances?  Howard was only seven years old; that wasn’t old enough to be trusted to do anything with some sort of supervision, really.)  

“His father isn’t answer his cell phone,” said the birthday mother with a hurried, worried exasperation in her voice.  “If someone can’t come and get him, I’ll have to call an ambulance.”

And really, the only thing than one of Bill’s children getting hurt at a birthday part was Bill being called to the emergency room for one of his children.  (Even worse might be getting called to the ER for a non-emergency.)  Alec made it to the birthday party in record time.  He found the knot of worried mothers standing around little Howie (as they called him) throwing a great confusing disaster of advice at him.

Someone had filled a water bottle with ice.

“I’m here,” Alec said.  (Although what good he was going to be, that was largely debatable.)  “What happened, what’s the injury?”

Howard looked at him with something that could only be labeled as disappointment.  It wasn’t surprised disappointment, it was just resignation.  (Bill Masters had been, up to this point, something of a terrible father.  Alec was going to make sure that got fixed no matter the cost.)  “I fell out of the tree,” Howie said.  He moved the water bottle away from his bleeding palm.  “My wrist really hurts.”

Alec had never been a doctor, but he’d been a father for long enough.  He asked for specifics about the accident.  He tested the most basic range of motion and then he said, “right, let’s go Howard.”

“Howie,” the boy said.  He slid off the bench they’d put him with a glum frown.  All the ladies called their well wishes and Howard nodded along as he followed Alec back toward the car.  “Where’s Dad?”

“I don’t know, but I have an idea.”  He looked sideways, down at the boy dragging his feet in the dirt.  “Look,” he started.  There was something to be said here about how parents had to work, and how what Bill did was important.  But Howard didn’t even live with Bill all the time.  If things didn’t change, he might not ever chose to live with Bill again.  So Alec sighed and ruffled his fingers through the kid’s hair.  “How about we go and kick him really hard?”

“Mom says you’re not supposed to solve your problems with violence.”

“Well, of course you aren’t.  I’ve got a whole job that’s just stopping people from that or putting them in jail so they’ll remember it for the next time.  But sometimes, just now and again, a good kick to the shins is called for.”  

They’d come to a pause next to the car.  Howie was holding his arm to his chest.  His little seven year old brain was processing this new exception to the rule.  He shrugged a little, “ok,” he said, “if we find him at work then we can kick him in the shins.”

They were definitely going to find Bill Masters at work.

“And then we’ll have to go see a doctor about your wrist.  It doesn’t look broken but better to be safe.”

“Dad is a doctor,” Howie said.  He let Alec open the car door for him and even tolerated being buckled into the backseat without any of his usual distaste at being helped.  (Children were in far too much hurry to be adults, that’s what Alec thought.)  

“Yeah, but we need a doctor who actually does doctor stuff,” Alec said.

The drive to the clinic was blissfully quick.  The new girl that worked the front desk smiled at them as Howie darted past clutching his arm to his chest.  Bill was standing in the doorway of Virginia’s office, in the middle of some sort of conversation he thought was more important than answering his phone.  He wasn’t paying any attention to what was coming at him so he was wholly unprepared for his son to kick him as hard in the shin as a seven year old was capable. 

“Ow!” Bill shrieked, “what--Howie?  Howard, what was the meaning of--why are you holding your arm like that?  How did you get here?”

Alec had his hands in his pockets, standing a comfortable distance away, just waiting for Bill to notice him.  He didn’t have to wait long for the man to reach an obvious conclusion, and when Bill did look at him for answers he frowned at him.  

Bill’s grip on his son’s shoulders loosened up.  His face loosened out of his shocked annoyance and settled into almost the same resignation that Howard had back at the party.  “Virginia, I have to take the rest of the day off.”

Her answer was probably the same as Alec’s would have been.  Something about how he shouldn’t have come in at all.  But there was no telling Bill Masters anything he wasn’t ready to hear.  

“Let’s have a look at that,” Bill said as he guided Howie to his office.

“Alec says that we have to go see a real doctor,” Howie said.

Bill made a hum of disapproval but he said, “well, we might.  Let’s just take a little look first.”  He looked over at Alec, “are you coming?”

“No,” Alec said, “you’ve got this.”  Because Bill was never, ever going to become a better father if you didn’t make him be one.  He had all the potential; Alec had seen him with kids in other places.  He had the patience for it.  He doted on children.  He just didn’t know how to relate to his own.  “I’ll see you at home.  Call me if you need something, Howard.”

“Howie,” the boy corrected again, “why can’t he ever get my name right?”

“Well,” Bill said, “he’s Scottish.”

“He’s strange,” Howie said as he led them into the office.

“Scottish and strange,” Bill agreed.

[sunaddicted]

Illogical Week 2019 (Day Three)

Prompt: Emergency

***

Bill had never been more aware of the fact that he was just a gynecologist as in the moment when Alec had been rushed to the hospital, in dire need of a cardiologist to look him over. Of course he had known about Alec's heart issues, what medication he had taken before the operation and what he took now, but Bill had never prodded his partner for details; it was something Alec didn't like to discuss or even think about and Bill had respected that. 

He didn't regret it either, really: his partner's comfort had been very important to him from the very start, having learned from the mistakes he had done with Libby - no, what he regretted was that he hadn't been able to do more than stabilize his lover as best as he could and drive him to hospital.

Frankly, it had been terrifying.

"Oh, come on. Stop that"

Bill scowled down at Alec, looking so small and fragile amidst the sheets; his partner often was tired but he had never seen such dark circles around his eyes "Alec, it was an emergency"

"And it's been solved"

How could he be so... nonchalant about his health? Bill didn't get it - it made absolutely no sense to him: Alec had so many things to live for, so many people who cherished him and who counted on him... didn't he know how destroyed he would be if he died? What about Daisy? Ellie? Bill didn't want to have to scold Alec, especially not while he lay in a hospital bed, but it was clear that he needed to have a serious talk with the man - to make him understand that he couldn't be so reckless.

Bill pursed his lips and said nothing, deciding to stand up and get Alec a glass of water instead of arguing with him "Straw?"

"Fuck, no"

Yes, he should have imagined such an answer - sometimes he wondered why he even bothered to ask certain questions "Here you go" he murmured as he put the glass in his partner's hand so that he would have an excuse to help him sit up - thankfully Alec didn't put up a fuss about it, even leaning against the arm he had sneaked around his lower back. 

Small mercies. 

"Thank you"

"Don't mention it"

"I meant for everything" Alec clarified after he had wetted his lips with a sip; despite how parched he felt, the water only made the unpleasant taste in his mouth seem stronger and never in his life he had wished so ardently for a toothbrush - or a chewing gum, at least "I didn't mean to scare you"

"Well, that's comforting" the answer came bitchier than Bill would have liked it to but he couldn't help it: nastiness was his strongest defence mechanism - it wasn't a very excuse either, no matter how true it was "Apologies"

Alec sighed and nudged the other's hand with the glass in a silent request to take it away so that he could close his fingers around the other's, squeeze them in comfort and reassurance "Don't" while he didn't particularly like being fussed over or bitched at, Alec could understand where Bill was coming from: just thinking about the situation being the other way around was enough to make him feel sick to the stomach "I'm sorry. Really am"

"I know"

"I thought I had been taking care of myself well" he admitted, a little sheepish.

(Continues on ao3)

[noire73]

illogical week (Bill Masters x Alec Hardy) Day 5- Job switch

Rated: G

I wanted to do more for this the illogical week from @illogicalhusbands prompts, but I couldn’t make time for it, but I really, really wanted to write this. I’ll put this on my AO3 later on along with the probably other 4 days i missed xD.

----

“I can’t imagine having your job,” Alec had said almost out of nowhere during one of the rare breakfast moments Bill managed to force his spindly boyfriend into having.

“Why not? I thought we had agreed that in concept it’s a very similar situation,” Bill said, folding his newspaper. “We both need to be prepared for an emergency as we could get called at unexpected hours, we have to deal with people on a daily basis, late shifts-”

“Yes-no but, I mean- I don’t think I could bare telling an expecting mother their baby-” Alec pursed his lips, stuttering for a moment before he found the right words to continue. “It’s hard enough as it is on my side, I wouldn’t want to have to experience it from the very beginning like you do.”

Bill sighed painfully. He knew what had prompted this, he just wondered why it had taken Alec this long to comment about it. A few days ago, Bill was called in the middle of the night to perform an emergency c-section to an unfortunate miscarriage. Alec had been the one to drive him to the hospital, arriving just before the ambulance had.

When Bill had returned from the ER, he had been white as a sheet of paper, hands in his pockets, and gaze firmly stuck to the floor tiles. He had avoided the waiting room -where Alec had stubbornly decided to stay- the minute he had seen him from afar, not wanting to give into the suffocating need of grabbing him by the hand and running away from the hospital. He didn’t want to see the disappointed look on the would’ve-been older siblings. He didn’t want to have to see an elderly woman cry, small, fragile thing; he most certainly didn’t want to see the husband’s reaction, the sheer devastating realization of impotency, and anger. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of himself when he had been on the man’s shoes.

It had been so long ago. Why now? Why was he being haunted by it now?

Bill had been so out of it, he didn’t see Alec approach him until he felt his hands softly on his arms. He tried to look at the taller man but he couldn’t will his eyes up or even lift his head just a tiny fraction. His eyes rested on the second button of Alec’s shirt, fighting a hard battle to keep the tears at bay. 

“Six months,” he barely whispered. “Stillbirth. We took it- took... out of her to- to prevent infection.”

“Bill-”

“Get me out of here,” Bill commanded in a shaky voice (barely louder than before) still not looking up at Alec, who didn’t take much convincing before he was leading them back to the car, a hand on his back the only thing he cared to focus on. The trip back home had been a complete blur of shadows and blinking lights. 

They didn’t talk, even though Bill could see from the corner of his eyes how Alec would sometimes look at him before huffing loudly. He had not been in the mood to talk about it yet, but having Alec beside him trying to figure out what was appropriate to do or say was really getting on his nerves, even though most of the times he found it endearing. Bill waited until a red light.

“I bought a couple of Cabernet Sauvignon from my last trip back to the States,” Bill placed a hand on Alec’s knee, squeezing softly, trying his best to look at Alec. “Maybe we could open one if you want.”

“If you’re up for it, yeah,” Alec dropped a hand from the wheel to cover Bill’s, entwining their fingers together. “There’s still some leftovers from earlier, we could- if you’re hungry, I mean,” his thumb was rubbing circles on Bill’s little finger.

“Yes, sounds nice,” Bill tried to smile, feeling just a small tug at the corner of his lips. Right before the light turned green, Alec lifted their joined hands to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on Bill’s fingers and carefully dropping his hand back to his lap. Bill started to miss Alec’s hand the moment the light change. 

The moment they were back inside the house, Bill leaned heavily against Alec, holding weekly at his jacket. There still was a hesitance in his partner’s response to this sort of contact, even after almost a year into their relationship. It was always a slow reach of hands that would snake their way up his back until they were wrapped around his shoulders. Slowly but surely, Bill thought. For all bones and sharp edges, Bill found out Alec gave pretty good hugs, always feeling the safest when he was cradled in his arms; that time hadn’t been an exception. 

As soon as Bill rested his head on Alec’s shoulder, his thin arms moved to encircle his shoulders, resting his scratchy cheek on Bill’s temple. He wasn’t hungry, he didn’t even want to drink really, he just wanted to lay in bed as the soft rhythm of his boyfriend’s breathing, the thumping of his once feeble heart. 

That’s all he needed. That’s all he wanted, but his feet were firmly planted on the floor. Not really knowing what else to do, his body completely frozen and unwilling to move, Bill finally left himself go, feeling a wretched sob tear through his body as he grasped Alec closer.

They held like that for a long time, with Alec whispering sweet, encouraging words on Bill’s ear. His arms eventually dropped down his waste to keep them upright better. Eventually Bill pushed himself away, apologising as he tried to dry his tears with the back of his hand roughly enough to feel the stinging drag of the skin, before Alec held on to it and whispered a soft “don’t do that.”

Moving to the living room with bottle and two glasses on hand, they sat there side by side, drinking slowly. At some point, Alec had reached an arm behind Bill, supporting it on the back of the couch, Bill started talking; he narrated what happened a few hours ago with detail, making Alec squirm just a couple of times (not really finding it in his heart to stop Bill as the medical report seemed to calm him down, even though Alec was having a hard time following up the more technical terms). It wasn’t until he reached the part where he had held the baby in his hands that he stopped, looking to a point far beyond the wall. 

Although he drew a couple of conclusions as to why this had affected his doctor so much, he was still unprepared to hear it.

“It happened to us. To Libby and me. I held our- I held her in my arms and I just- I…” he had been so stupid. “Our first success after so many attempts… after many failures,” said Bill, spinning his glass of wine by the stem with a shaky thumb and middle finger. “I was so afraid of- of how things would change. If I was really up for it or if I was even going to be a good father -which, well, we know had that turned out- that I thought it had been my fault she died because I didn’t want her...”

“Oh, Bill, that’s-”

“I know- I know. It took me a while to understand how out of my control that had been. Or- or so I thought,” Bill downed the rest of the wine. “I’ve been present for many similar procedures to this one but this time, it felt- if felt too close to home.”

Alec reached for the bottle, unsure of what he could even say to something like that. He filled their glasses with what was left, watching Bill make a face at his, wishing it was something ‘stronger’ than wine. “Look, Bill-”

“Do you ever regret choosing being a Detective?” Bill turned to look at him a bit more abruptly than his wine-dazed mind had appreciated. 

It took him a couple of seconds longer than he intended, still a bit aghast from the sudden change in their conversation. “No.” 

“Even after all the things you’ve been through? That- that thing about being the, er, ‘Worse Cop in Britain' thing?” Bill leaned closer to Alec, pales eyes trained on the other’s darker ones.

“I-It has its ups and downs, like any career. Aren’t you the same?”

Bill sat further down the couch with pouty wiggle. “I guess so…”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Regret it?” Alec asked in almost a whisper.

“Not really. I knew what I wanted to be very early on. Never saw myself as anything else,” Bill took a couple of sips of his wine. With an amused snort, he continued: “Imagine me as a lawyer or a politician.”

“Wouldn’t vote for you, that’s for sure.”

“Well, I wouldn’t for you either,” Bill elbowed him softly.

Alec pushed back. “As a lawyer I think you would be quite fierce and unrelenting. Wouldn’t want to be the poor bastard that had to go opposite of you, though.” 

“Like you wouldn’t be the same,” they laughed, the bubbly feeling of the wine was finally make its effects present. “How about a Detective? What do you think?”

“Oh, you want my job?” Alec said with a wide grin, his arm had fallen into Bill’s shoulders, pulling him closer as he teased.

“We could switch. I could be the Detective Investigator while you’re the Doctor for a week and then we switch back the next one.”

“That would be a terrible idea! Can’t even find your own house keys in the morning, ya want to find a criminal like that?” 

Bill slapped him in the knee with his free hand while having a giggling fit. It was rare to see a drunk Bill Masters enjoying himself instead of the angry and  tired mess he occasionally allowed to surface. Alec was determined on keep making him laugh like that more for as long as he could.

“Seriously though, I have terrible bedside manners, you would probably lose a lot of patients because of me.”

“Might be more fit for the morgue, then,” Bill slurred.

The gasp that escape Alec sent Bill into another fit of laughter, having to resign on leaving his empty glass of wine on the side table to prevent himself from dropping it. 

“You cheeky bastard!”

That had been days ago; the idea of switching careers stayed with them for a couple of nights. Nights that served to show both men that they would’ve probably died of hunger as actors. Still, they entertained the idea for long enough were Bill would sometimes refer to Alec as ‘Dr. Hardy’ when on the telephone and Alec would call him ‘Detective Masters’ in return. Bill didn’t think he would’ve taken it as a serious consideration until he sat down for breakfast.

“You thought about that often, then?”

“Not often, no,” Alec played with his omelette. “It came to mind recently.” 

Bill nodded, having to agree on daydreaming on the ‘what ifs’ a couple of times. “To tell you the truth, I couldn’t see myself in your place either. I don’t think I would be able to cope with the things you’ve seen. I admire you for that.” 

The sudden declaration took Alec off-guard, looking at Bill with wide-eyes. “Um, er, yeah- yes. Likewise.”

[it-is-ineffable]

Illogical Husbands Week 2019, Day five: Job Switch.

This world needs more sexy illogical husbands :D

Day 4 | Day 2

[kerriss]

Oh Alec

[deviousomens]

Illogical Husbands Week. Day 3: Emergency

"Are you at the hospital?”

“Hello to you too Ellie.” He said, “And to answer your question, no I’m not.”

“Shit.” She said under her breath, “Bill, Alec collapsed near the cliffs. An ambulance just came to get him.”

“What?! What happened?” He asked frantic. “And why didn’t you go with him?”

“I think it’s his pacemaker and I had to secure the scene we were here to investigate.” Ellie told him, “Just get to the hospital.”

Bill hung up and rushed to the hospital. He got there just in time to see them wheeling Alec down the hall on a gurney.

“Wait!” He called after them, “Please!”

They either didn’t hear him or didn’t care because they didn’t stop.

“Sir, you can’t go in there.” A nurse said and stopped him from following them.

“Why the hell not? I’m his boyfriend.”

“It's hospital policy, only family during emergencies.” She explained.

“I am his family!” Bill shouted at her.

“Calm down, sir.” The nurse told him.

That set him off and he grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and threw it through the window of one of the empty waiting rooms.

The nurse immediately backed off and went back to the desk to call the police.

Ellie received a call from one of her officers informing her of the incident and she told him she'd handle it. She told one of her officers at the scene to take over before getting into her car and driving to the hospital.

She found Bill in the waiting room with one of the security guards. She flashed the guard her badge and told him she'd take care of things. He looked down at Bill before giving Ellie a nod then leaving the room.

“Are you insane?” She asked Bill then looked down and saw his hand was wrapped in a towel. “Please tell me you didn’t assault someone as well.”

“I cut it trying to pick up the glass.” He told her, not making eye contact with her. “She told me I couldn’t follow him back there then told me to calm down and I just lost it.”

She sat down across from him, “It’s hospital policy.”

“What if something happens and I’m not there?” He asked on the verge of tears.

“Nothing’s going to happen, Bill. He’s gone through worse and survived and he’ll survive this too.” Ellie told him, trying to comfort him the best way she could.

She looked back at the nurse who was standing at her station with the security guard and two other nurses, “I’m going to go talk to them. I’ll be right back.”

She left Bill and went over to the nurse then stood at the station and waited while a man in a suit eventually showed up to talk to her. The discussion was lively and a little loud at times before Ellie came back into the room muttering, “what an arsehole.”

Bill looked up at her.

“I’m sorry Bill but they are going to press charges. I told them you’d pay for the damages but the administrator wouldn’t budge.”

“What about Alec? I can’t just leave him!” Bill said to her as he stood up.

“They have to take him into surgery and repair something on his pacemaker. I don’t know the technical term but Bill, they don’t want you here right now. So, I’m going to have to take you down to the station.” She told him, “I’m really sorry.”

“Fine.” He said then grabbed his jacket, “Let’s go then.”

She escorted him out without a scene and drove him quietly to the police station. She personally handled his processing including fingerprinting him before putting him into a cell.

“Is there anyone I can call?”

“No, not really.” He told her. Alec was all he had in Broadchurch.

Ellie would call the hospital periodically to check up on Alec then she would share the news with Bill. “Alec is now in recovery and resting.” She told him, “And you’ll see a judge first thing in the morning.”

All he did was nod as he slouched on the uncomfortable bench he sat on.

In the morning Ellie went to get Bill from his cell. She found him sleeping sitting up on the bench, his head hung down.

He woke when she unlocked the cell and opened to door. He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck then stood up and stretched. “Why don’t you have cots in here?”

“We don’t want people getting too comfortable.” She said to him. “I’m sorry for this.”

“For what?”

She pulled out a pair of handcuffs, “I can’t take you to court without them.”

He put his hands behind his back and she cuffed him.

The court suggested Bill make a sizable donation to the hospital then ordered him to pay for the window repair and to not step foot in the hospital for 30 days unless there was an emergency. However, to allow him to see Alec, the 30-day ban would not start till the following day.

Ellie waited for him to finish signing his release papers and paying the court fees before she drove him to the hospital. She gave the head of security a copy of the letter and judgement and then he escorted them to Alec’s room.

“I’ll wait out here.” Ellie said to Bill.

“Thank you for everything.” He said then went inside.

“Bloody jail Bill, honestly?” Alec scolded him as Bill got to his bedside.

He didn’t say a word, all he did was bend down, lay his head on Alec’s chest and cry.

Alec wrapped his arm around him and held him tight, “Shh, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“You could have died.” Bill mumbled into Alec’s chest.

“Never gonna happen.” Alec told him, “too stubborn.”

Bill lifted his head and looked at him, tears still in his eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Alec told him.

“Promise?”

Alec wiped a tear from Bill’s cheek, “I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~

[mj-irl]

Emergency?

[illogicalhusbands]

You heard right, folks! The first Illogical Husbands Week will be happening this October 28 to November 1! This is a chance to let out all those Bill/Alec creativity whims that you’ve been keeping, and to share with our lovely community the myriads of ways these two can kiss kiss fall in love.

Everyone is welcome to participate as long as you share our love for this odd couple.

Please use the tags #Illogical husbands and #IllogicalWeek2019 so that we can keep track of and promote all of your submissions!

We hope you guys can participate and most of all, have fun! We look forward to seeing what you’ll all come up with.

[bewareofchris]

illogical week | day 1

G? | Alec Hardy/Bill Masters | Broadchurch/Masters of Sex | None | “Enemies to Lovers”

a/n: @illogicalhusbands, this is the loosest interpretation of the prompt I think I’ve ever managed.

It was worth noting that it was only a child’s birthday party.  In fact, the entire debacle from start to finish had been Fred’s fault.  You couldn’t blame a boy for wanting to show off how well he’d learned to make use of his legs.  A child needed to be rewarded for his accomplishments; no decent person was going to argue against that.  

Fred had shown off his running with an enthusiasm that couldn’t be matched.  He’d commanded an entire crowd of full-grown men and women to line up at an imaginary starting line and he’d raced them all from one end of the field to the other.  No matter how many times they went (and they had gone more than enough times) Fred clapped his hands on the finish line and shouted: “Again!”

Children had a uniquely efficient way of making fools of adults.

Adults had an unfortunate way of taking all the fun out of things.

“Oh come on,” Ellie said.  She was holding a glass of bright-red-juice while she smiled at him from the sidelines of this increasingly silly little game.  Her pink-faced terror was standing there on the start line waiting for his opponents to line up.  “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

“I can’t race him,” Alec protested.  He was grasping for a reason why he couldn’t possibly do it and the only one that even came close to being true was: “I’ll look like an idiot, getting beaten in a foot race by a baby.”

Ellie’s eyebrow seemed to indicate that he had uncovered her exact intention.  “Bill can race with you.”

Bill had been at the snack table, picking through the various offerings.  He was dressed in business casual, as if he’d expected to run into off duty doctors and potential investors at a child’s party.  He looked over at the sound of his name, “what can I do?”

“You can race.”

“No,” Bill said.

Fred’s brilliantly happy face was dropping into a somber look of confusion.  He was squinting up at Alec with a growing realization that his fun party game had reached an end.  (All party games had to end sometime.)  

Alec sighed, and looked away from the adorable faced little monster and over at Bill, “because you know I’d beat you?”

“Excuse me?” Bill said.  “You wouldn’t beat me in a race.”

“He’s got long legs,” Ellie said from the side, “he’s practically all legs.  That’s got to be good for something.”

“Legs only take you so far, when’s the last time you saw him doing anything remotely athletic?”

“I’m standing right here,” Alec snapped.  “If you’re afraid to get beaten by a man with a mechanical heart, that’s fine, you’re right, you will be.  Better not to embarrass yourself in front of all these,” he motioned his arms around to indicate the nursery school friends that had come for cake.  “Children.”

“I think Mr. Hardy would win,” Tom added from the side.

“Yes, thank you, Tom.”

Bill dusted his hands and walked over to the imaginary start line.  He was glaring at Alec as Fred danced in place with sheer joy.  “This is silly,” Bill said like a threat.  “And I will win.”

“We’ll see,” Alec said.

Ellie cleared her throat from the side, “to the end of the yard and back to the start line, as quick as you can.  Ready, set, go.”

Neither Ellie nor Bill had been wrong about Alec.  He did have significantly long legs and he did not get enough exercise.  The length of his legs was only as good as his ability to use that advantage; which was to say that it was more a hindrance.  

The only real advantage Alec had was Fred, who was reliably known to run diagonally across the field and always to the right.  He ran directly in front of Bill as soon as he heard the word go.  That afforded Alec a precious few seconds head start to gain speed before Bill managed to find a path clear enough to avoid hitting the kid.  

Bill turned when Fred did, halfway down the field rather than at the end of it.  Alec shouted: “cheater!” 

“Slowpoke!” Bill shouted back.

There was a great swell of cheering and shouting at the finish line.  Fred fell into his Mother’s arms as Bill slowed back to a walk and smiled smugly at Alec as he pushed his foot across the line.  

“You cheated,” Alec said when he jogged to a stop.  It didn’t matter if Bill cheated, or if it was stupid to start with.  It didn’t matter that half the adults at the party were strangers, or that Ellie would never let him live down losing to a baby.  It only mattered that he’d done; that he could run like an idiot.  That he could stand there with a little too much wind in his breath and a light sheen of sweat on his brow.  His heart was behaving.

“Alright?” Bill asked.

“Yeah,” Alec assured him.  “You?”

“I did win.”  Bill had a way of leaning into you, a sort of shuffle, half-step that he did before you realized it.  Suddenly you were holding hands with him and you couldn’t remember how it started.  By the time you were holding hands, you had the irrepressible urge to kiss him. 

Bill Masters did have a very kissable grin.

“You cheated,” Alec repeated.  But he kissed him anyway.  

“Cake!” Ellie shouted over the noise of the party getting nearly out of control.  “Let’s all eat cake!”

[sunaddicted]

Illogical Week 2019 (Day Two)

Prompt: Let's date

***

"Let's date"

Alec hummed, reacting more to the fact that someone had spoken to him rather than to the words in themselves - not with his brain as fuzzy with the afterglow as it was.

The sex had been downright spectacular - he could tell from the way muscles he didn't have a memory of ached pleasantly, well used for once - or maybe it had just been a while since he had allowed himself to relax enough to talk someone into his bed.

Well, it hadn't gone exactly like that.

He had been sipping on his tea in the hall of the hotel when a rather apologetic William Masters had asked him to sit at his table, evidently side blinded by the fact that the whole of Broadchurch seemed to have elected the place as their after dinner entertainment - Alec had only conceded to the request with a nod of his head because he knew the doctor was the quiet sort and he had hoped that, not being acquainted already, it would keep the man from drowning him in chatter. 

How handsome he was might have weighed in on his choice to allow him at his table too. 

The fact that they had managed to make a pleasant conversation flow between them had been an unexpected bonus - even more surprising, it was the flirting that Bill had sprinkled more and more frequently amidst the wide variety of topics they had touched as their soft drinks had been converted to alcoholic ones.

Not enough to get drunk - they were too old for that.  But the pleasant buzz the whiskey had left behind certainly gave Alec the help he had needed to subtly caress the other's hand and accept his subtle invitation for more; the promise had made heat bloom in his belly and Alec hadn't been sure he would be able to get up the stairs without embarassing himself - but he had managed.

And when the door of Bill's room had clicked closed, all subtlety had vaporized like water under the scorching summer sun.

"I'm serious"

"Hmm?"

Bill turned to his side, dragging the blanket with him to huddle in its folds while he looked at the man next to him: he didn't think he had ever seen Alec Hardy so abandoned to relaxation since he had moved to Broadchurch - it was a welcomed sight. 

A cherished one.

Even more so knowing that he was the reason for it.

(Continues on ao3)