Text
has no one made an edited version of tsb thats like. just the sparks parts lol
#im a fake fan (i have not watched the entire documentary)#i did watch the first like 25 minutes once and ive obviously seen the bonus features w the guys but#im sorry this is just because with the exception of like ex band members and other actual relevant music people (like todd rundgren)#i do not want to watch other people talking abt spars bc its partly like what do you know abt this band and also#if sparks have been so important to you why are you only saying it now .#OGH anyway my hot take abt the documentary. i get it and i think it was a good thing for the guys however#i wish it was a little more spars focused but i know they gotta keep up their mystique#the only reason im asking for this now is because of what im planning for my sparstember project#but like for real if it was just 2 and a half hours of the guys vagueing about sparks and going places well that would be better. to me#this is nothing against edgar either btw its just my own personal onion abt the doc
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
3 and 37 for ask game if you please :)
(rubs hands together gleefully) you asked about movies. this is my moment. Hold on to your hats, it’s Tentacledwizard Rant Hour.
3 films I could watch for the rest of my life and not get bored of:
FACE/OFF, dir. John Woo. 1997, rated R for faces being taken off, killing and murder, John Travolta licking his fake daughter’s face, pretty much everything you can think of that’s R-rated. Starring Nicolas Cage and John Travolta.
So, I was told I shouldn’t watch this movie because it was “boring” and “terrible.” ok, dad. sure. It proved to be neither! As soon as I finished it I wanted to rewatch it just to observe the nuances in Nick Cage’s acting. And John Travolta’s, but Cage is who I’m really here for. He plays this unhinged, flamboyant villain, then does a complete 180 (body swap, sorta) and plays a straight-laced FBI man PREVIOUSLY played by John Travolta (who, you guessed it, now plays the flamboyant villain).
The acting. The ACTING augh I could analyze it for hours. I’m not even good at analyzing facial expressions and stuff (it is the tism) but the acting skill in this movie made me even more of a Nicolas Cage fan. The sheer range of emotions that wash over his face during a fight scene in a prison. god DAAAAMN. He plays two men in one movie- one who’s just batshit insane and reveling in it, and another who feels like he’s become the former in more ways than just physical.
FBI Man finds himself melting into this persona he’s playing, and he feels perversely drawn towards the villain’s lifestyle. He’s wearing the face of the guy who killed his child, and he’s starting to enjoy it. Meanwhile John Travolta walks around wearing the face and mannerisms of a straight-laced FBI man, and his ascent to power is scary to watch. It’s (rolls around on floor screaming) it’s so good. I haven’t seen A LOT of movies so if you asked me this question in a couple months, my answers here would probably change. However, Face/Off is not moving off this list.
There’s even a funky little evil man who stole scenes from Cage himself. He plays the villain’s brother, Pollux (name sounds like Sollux, and he points out the inherent eroticism of salmon in documentaries). Something about his line delivery has made me deeply obsessed with him. He and his brother are messed up and evil but they care about each other almost codependently. It’s fascinating to me. Also for some reason the scene where Nick Cage talks about his first date with his wife makes me cry. One second I’m thinking about the scientific inaccuracies inherent in the movie’s plot, and the next I’m looking at Cage’s sad face through a layer of saline. Curse you, sentimentality.
So, yeah, Face/Off is incredibly good. Certainly not perfect, but super fun. Also this is the 90s and all the stunts are entirely practical, which is super sick. The two golden guns are iconic and almost certainly inspired Jake English’s strife specibus, lmao. And… Nick Cage! Yeah I think that’s enough Face/Off thoughts I can put here before this becomes an entire longpost. (checks Face/Off google results) HOLD ON NOW there’s going to be a Face/Off 2? Or is this just a rumor? Woah. I will have to google this.
National Treasure, dir. John Turteltaub. 2004. Rated PG-13 for guns and a mildly suggestive scene because of course they had to put a blonde lady in a mildly suggestive scene, and British people. Stars Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, and Diane Kruger.
Yeah ok at this point this is like my default movie. Should I be ashamed for enjoying this? Nuh uh. Life is too short to be ashamed for enjoying a silly action movie. Im killing cringe culture with two golden guns. In other news I have seen this movie eight times, and talked about it to anyone who’d listen. Here is a full review of it that I wrote. When I missed out on a trip to Washington DC, I watched this to really immerse myself in the setting. When my mom and I wanted to watch a film, I put this on and she said “phallus” every time the Washington Monument was onscreen because she’s fun like that. When my best friend whom I love dearly came over, the first thing I did was put on National Treasure. It’s kept me grounded and also gives me a good chuckle at some of the goofier scenes. This movie is a…
It’s a…
The joke is low-hanging fruit, but yeah, it’s a national treasure. This is admittedly Cage at his most mainstream. He’s an action movie hero guy, but in a PG-13 movie made by Disney. When asked about a possible National Treasure 3 in interviews, Cage seems kinda annoyed. I mean hey, I would be too. His acting in this film doesn’t seem like something he’s personally interested in, although he does a good job. However, I think his character’s parallels with Nick Cage’s real life are pretty interesting, especially because the director knew Cage since highschool. More on that later.
Where Face/Off’s selling point was “Nick Cage and John Travolta swap faces,” this one’s is “Nicolas Cage steals the Declaration of Independence.” And then a bunch of other stuff happens, but that one sequence is the best in the entire movie. The parallels and differences between two teams’ methods of stealing the Declaration really got to me. After that, there’s a bunch of adventuring… making leaps in logic… puzzles… what’s not to love! :D I will say that the main character is somewhat casually misogynistic in this film, which makes me grimace every time. He does learn his lesson in the second movie (though he remains pretty static, which frustrates me because there was an OBVIOUS CHANCE for character growth there… hmm maybe I will review nat treasure 2 sometime).
Something I forgot to mention in my full review is that Jon Voight and Harvey Keitel are in this movie, which is quite the slay. However, this means that I ended up thinking of Jon Voight as a Good Guy the next movie I saw him in (Mission Impossible). Uh. so apparently Jon Voight plays a lot of villains. As for Harvey Keitel, he plays an FBI Man. (looks at “Harvey Keitel movies” page) OH SHIT he’s in THAT MANY iconic movies?? That’s awesome. He’s a cool guy!
Ok, let me talk about Jon Turteltaub. So Nick Cage and Jon Turteltaub went to the same high school, and they both wanted the lead role in Our Town. (Trust me on this, I’ve read like three Nicolas Cage biographies.) Turteltaub got the lead role, whereas Cage got the role of Constable Warren. According to this interview, Turteltaub never let him live it down. Ouch. So after that, Cage couldn’t stand Our Town. and then after THAT, Jon Turteltaub went on to direct the National Treasure movies. Guess who stars in National Treasure! Yeah, that’s an anecdote that is just really funny to me. They also collaborated on Sorcerer's Apprentice, which I have yet to see. Nick Cage plays a sorcerer, hells yeah. Now according to Turteltaub, “there’s a lot more Nic in [the sorcerer] than in [the main character of National Treasure].” Yup, that’s pretty much what I thought. (shakes head) Nick Cage movies, amirite? If you really want a lot more National Treasure thoughts, check out my review! Yeah ok that’s enough shilling for myself, ha ha. This is a cool movie and you can watch it whenever, with whoever. Probably. P.S. everyone is at their most autistic swag in this movie. But especially Riley Poole, played by Justin Bartha. I adore him.
3. Anger Management dir. Peter Segal. 2003. Somehow rated PG-13 despite the constant sex jokes. Starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.
Ha ha, PSYCHE. i absolutely hate this movie
3. Employee of the Month dir. Greg Coolidge. 2006. Rated PG-13 for retail working and reference to Vince Downey [Dax Shepard] seducing women in various places around a Costco. Stars Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, and Dax Shepard.
I really like this movie. What more can I say? It’s a low-budget rom-com from 2006, and the director did not need to go that hard with the gay subtext. But he did! And I am forever grateful. (checks time) it’s getting kind of late, so let me direct you to my super hype review that I wrote a while ago. The reason I wouldn’t get bored of watching this movie is the sometimes batshit, beautiful turns the plot takes. Bam, this rom-com is now randomly a sports movie for a few minutes. Now Vince and his sidekick Jorge are breaking into the main character’s house to make him late for work. I don’t really know how to explain, I just love that kind of thing in a movie. It’s unpredictable and fun in kind of a stupid way.
Also, Jorge and Vince are the emotional core of the movie. Their relationship is messy, but it’s even more sweet and heartfelt than the actual main romance of the story. It’s the romantic B-plot. If Employee of the Month were an Alternian movie, Karkat would go into a huge rant about its portrayal of moirallegiance through Vinzce and… Jorgay (lmao). Pretty similar to what I did in my previous review. If you realllyyyy wanna read a scene-by-scene breakdown of their relationship, check that one out! Actually that one is just me having emotions about them. “OMG THEY HUGGED.” u kno. that sort of thing lmao. @creatcher made some fanart of them kissing yey :D
So, yes, Vince and Jorge are amazing, and Jorge is especially amazing. Can’t wait to see Napoleon Dynamite (his actor plays Pedro in that one). There’s a lot to be said about the character Efren Ramirez plays here, but I doubt I have the expertise to really do a critical analysis. also this is still a low-budget romcom about retail workers. OH yeah also the plot is really funny- the romance turns out to have very little by way of stakes, so it’s actually Zack (played by Dane Cook) competing against Vince for employee of the month. That’s the core conflict of the movie. Well, one of them. They’re literally jousting in a costco like “two gay old sailors” (Vince’s words, not mine). This movie portrayed homestuck quadrants before they were even a thing (refer to a shipping chart @cgtg and i did for more clarity). Employee of the Month is unexpectedly great. Obviously none of the movies on my list are perfect- this one includes some racism/ableism from Vince, and I already mentioned the National Treasure misogyny- but they have a lot of redeeming qualities. And i mean a LOT. they also all have a short guy for me to be obsessed with. So that’s the three movies I picked, and why I’ll never get bored of them. Hmm. I guess it depends on how many times I watch them!
Share a secret:
Hmmmm ok this is a tough one. uuuh… ok here goes: My darkest secret is that my crush looks exactly like John Egbert. There’s a real person in real life who looks like John Egbert. One cannot fathom the amount of horror this entails. They even have the same taste in movies. The same SHOES. That’s your secret for the day, tune in for more at 10!
Yep, I wrote a lot of stuff for this ask. It was fun, though. I enjoy ranting about movies. Thanks for the qs!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lil Peep: Everybody’s Everything
As those of you know my OCD w music runs deep and I go through intense periods obsessing over one artist at time. I am like years behind my fellow gen Z pals and so I am just now discovering Lil peep. And so for the past month I think I have gone through every piece of music lil peep has produced from start to finish. I am just as surprised as you are. That being said I was so psyched to watch this doc. I saw that it premiered at SXSW and Terrence Malik was an executive producer which is just *chefs kiss*. It got a fucking 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and averaged 73% on IMBd and Metacritic .. but Jesus Christ was that misleading. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Lil Peep — I think he is deeply talented and creative and the doc did a good job highlighting that .. but maybe a lil too much. I will actually start of by saying that a lot of things in this doc touched me — how they destigmatized those who take a less traditional path after high school; how they really emphasized the unwaveringly loving and supportive relationship between Lil Peep and his grandpa; lil peep’s genuine good-heartedness and commitment to his friends and family; his rigor and tenacity in transcending the capitalist hierarchy of the music industry with his DIY approach to music coming from a less privileged family... like I really really admire him. Im rambling but in all seriousness the doc was fucked up. Fucked up. His avid drug addiction was glorified to a stupidly obvious extent: he was always “going hard” and “pushing the limits” in efforts of always “out-drugging” his friends — like what, you want to give him a fucking award? His lousy manager, Bryant Ortega, spoke so fondly about Peep throughout the doc but was pictured multiple times as more of a paparazzi than a fucking manager — taking pictures of Lil peep and his squad railing numerous lines of coke while sipping on lean. At one point in the doc there was footage of Lil Peep performing a show in LA when he had taken too much of something. He tells his managers he might not be able to go on yet he does ... a fucking lawyer says on camera that he was “worried whether or not Lil Peep would be able to find the stage” yet they do nothing and encourage him to go on. There he is shown on the stage, barely mumbling the words to “Hellboy” and taking sporadic breaks to put him head in his elbow ... meanwhile instead of grabbing this kid off the stage and putting him in a fucking ambulance his management team is huddled in the the wings of the stage, egging him on and debating whether or not they should call in a fake fire alarm to cancel the show. This is happening as Lil Peep sings his songs of depression, anxiety, and loneliness — everyone hates me but nobody knows me; looking for a reason to live but I can’t find shit; everything hurts, everything gets worse. That’s some really dark irony and it doesn’t stop there... These fucking bottom feeders of a management team flood the stage with fog to hide Lil peep as he become increasingly despondent and dissociative ... it was so fucking hard to watch this. But alas, Peep snaps out of his drug-induced daze and finishes the show seamlessly... and afterwards goes up to a talent lawyer at the show and says “see I told you I could do it.” The next clip features the lawyer astounded by Lil Peep’s performance along with the constellation of talent agents and scouts who attended that show ... oh great, another lost, vulnerable artist who was never taught how to handle fame... I kept on waiting for a comment from someone, anyone proclaiming their worry for lil peep’s drug abuse and mental health but not a single one ever came. Multiple clips in the same vein followed the lawyers comment — different management team members commending Lil Peep for basically not dying. Haza, another successful show manipulating and capitalizing off a deeply depressed, troubled young artist. These people are fucking sick — acting like role models and fostering a “trustworthy” relationship with lil peep built on the basis of manipulation disguised as devotion — they didn’t care about Lil peep but they sure did fool him by providing the tools and substances notorious for self destruction while entirely ignoring his well-being and denying his paralyzing misery which were the main theme of his lyrics. ISNT YOUR JOB TO LISTEN TO HIS SONGS? OH AND MAYBE THE LYRICS? Get a fucking grip. I utterly believe these people knew what they were doing to lil peep and chose their deranged careers over someone’s life. I hope to fuckijg god these people don’t have children but I’m pretty sure some of them do. Six months later Lil Peep was announced dead after taking a lethal amount of fentanyl laced. Snapchat and instagram videos are shown in the doc of Lil Peep passed out, unconscious in the background — his head entirely arched back and his body limp. Over the span of what was said to be 4-5 hours, not one person even thought to check on him. The interviews that follow these heartbreaking clips are just an amalgamation of lies, denial, ignorance, and palpable inauthenticity— his fake friends and scum of the earth management team either deny the “conspiracy” behind his death, lie through their teeth in their “oblivion” to peep’s drug problem and depression, or project falsified grief. Dude like all these idiots interviewed for the doc talk ab how Peep never expressed his grief or depression... COULD HAVE JUST ONE OF YOU FOUND YOUR DAMN VOICE ??? I mean you sure did to ask Peep for drugs and money you fucking leeches. If someone would have just expressed the tiniest hint of grief, the tiniest bit of remorse in not speaking up or expressing their concern maybe Lil Peep would still b here today and this god awful, tone deaf documentary wouldn’t exist. What’s even worse is that these people are still profiting off Lil Peep — through this doc, through all of the demos and songs that were released after his death. It’s so funny (really actually not funny at all in the slightest) that Peep’s manager Bryant Ortega rambles about how as a celebrity you can snap your fingers and get anything you want: “girls, blow, booze”... (Thank u Sam for stating how girls were put on the same level as cocaine and alcohol) .. anyways yeah that statement seems to be limited to self destructive substances and empty material items. How bout some therapy? Ever heard of in-patient or out-patient? Psychiatry? This doc Obviously really upset me. Watching Lil peep self-sabotage through his inability to say no, over-generosity with his time and money, and emotional labor in maintaining falsified companionships was so heartbreaking. Really seemed like such a genuinely sweet kid who deserved a longer, much more fruitful and a much better support system instead of a fleet of clout chasers. Agh this all just really didn’t sit well with me. Rip lil peep
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read
I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.
I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!
it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history
I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕
i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!
i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!
I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.
I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.
I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!
weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back
I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)
I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚
When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼
I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤
i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)
I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie
I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me
I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"
Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around
I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂
are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~
i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.
i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha
I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real
I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖
for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
The art of the YouTube apology video
When an actor messes up, they typically have a team of managers, agents, and crisis managers to back them up with handcrafted personal statements apologizing for their actions.
When a beauty guru messes up, they set up their tripods, get the tears going, and hit record.
SEE ALSO: YouTube breakup videos are basically a requirement now. Here's why.
Much like break up videos, apology videos are almost a rite of passage for YouTubers. Since their content is so personal, their apologies have to be, too. As content creators' offensive internet histories get exposed, apology videos are becoming more and more common. There's almost a formula to them: You sob, you apologize for whatever you did wrong, you sob some more, beg for forgiveness from your fans, and then wrap it up with a teary thank-you.
The most recent example of this tearsfest is Laura Lee, a beauty vlogger who was once just shy of 5 million subscribers, but lost 200,000 once she was exposed for racist tweets this month. A video she posted, simply titled "My Apology," went viral for all the wrong reasons.
Content creator Keem mocked Lee in a video that broke down the types of apology videos that YouTubers make, from gamers apologizing for a racist comment to vloggers apologizing for filming a dead body.
In 2012 Lee tweeted, "tip for all black people if you pull ur pants up you can run from the police faster."
When fans of another rival beauty guru dug up the vile tweet, Lee went silent. She deactivated her Twitter account, deleted her old tweets, and then came back to Twitter with a lengthy Notes app apology. In the statement, she blamed the fact that she grew up as a "small town girl from Alabama" who lacked the "cultural education" that she has now.
Five days later, she followed up with this apology video.
youtube
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to you guys," she whimpers, frequently stopping mid-sentence to sob into her hands. "It hurts me so bad to disappoint you all who have supported me for many years. I know that I'm better than that person."
The four-minute video was dragged for being (for lack of a better word) total bullshit. One commenter called it "so funny to watch bc it’s so forced." Another joked that it was "proof that youtubers shouldn't be actors."
Someone wrote fake captions over her video, and people turned her into a meme on Twitter. It even inspired parodies.
whoever wrote the caption for laura lee’s apology is my hero pic.twitter.com/S4406OSgmV
— 𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕓𝕒 (@denimIester) August 20, 2018
Laura Lee is part of a group of beauty gurus who all apologized for their problematic pasts, but hers is the one getting criticized the most.
But is there a "right" way to apologize? Crisis manager Eden Gillott Bowe says there may not be a one size fits all way to say "I'm sorry," but there is a basic formula that best gets the point across. Like Olivia Pope in Scandal, Gillott Bowe fixes messy situations.
"If you know you've done something wrong, you don't want to hide it because the truth always finds a way of coming out," Gillott Bowe said over the phone. "So you just want to deal with it quickly."
Compare Lee's apology to that of another member of the beauty guru clique that broke apart over this past week, Gabriel Zamora.
In contrast to Lee's tears, Zamora opens the video by explaining that the version he's posting is the third version he's recorded because he was more levelheaded than in the first two.
"I'm like, you know what? This isn't just about my emotions," he admits in the video.
youtube
Gillott Bowe recommends staying as calm as possible, like Zamora, while doing damage control.
"Try not to be too reactionary and just take a moment to think about how it's going to be perceived," she said. "If I jump out and say this, how might it be taken the wrong way?"
With that in mind, here's the backstory on all the beauty guru drama.
Fellow vlogger and Lee and Zomara's former friend Jeffree Star — who has his own history of being horrifically racist and according to the Washington Post, once joked about "throwing battery acid on a black girl's face to lighten her skin so that her foundation matches" — was the subject of a Shane Dawson documentary series on YouTube that examined Star's life and reputation.
The last installation of the five part series discusses the public feud Star had with his ex-friend group. Star says that "people still don't really know what went on" that broke down the group, and that "there's so many versions of things that never happened out there."
In response, Zamora posted a photo of himself, Laura Lee, Manny MUA, and Nikita Dragun captioned "Bitch is bitter because without him we're doing better," referring to Star. Zamora topped it off in a now-deleted tweet that said, "Imagine stanning a racist? I could never."
That kicked off a stan-led scrape through the four YouTubers' Twitter histories, which unearthed hateful tweets from years ago. Manny MUA, Laura Lee, and Gabriel Zamora all made separate videos apologizing for their actions; Nikita Dragun addressed it on Twitter.
But why does Star get a pass on his past actions, while Lee's getting dropped from all of her brand partnerships? Fans agreed that their apology videos made all the difference.
The difference is they both acknowledged their mistakes years ago and have actively worked to better themselves and let it show through their actions. Laura barely made an apology, cried fake tears, and tried to blame it on everything else, like "I was raised in a small town"
— Future 👩🏻⚕️ (@K_Wolstenholme) August 23, 2018
They felt the same way about Zamora's apology video. Stans thought that compared to Lee's apology, it was significantly more genuine because he walked through how he would improve. Commenters lauded Zamora's apology as "a great example" and "like sitting with a friend."
if Gabriel Zamora gaining back all the subs he lost and then some isn’t proof that all we want as viewers are real people telling the truth...i don’t know what is pic.twitter.com/Im0NNfCUKr
— spektader (@spektader) August 22, 2018
Makeup fans haven't forgiven Star entirely, though. Some wish he'd face the same consequences as Lee.
im glad this is happening but i wish the same energy would’ve been kept for Jeffree Star and James Charles https://t.co/8okPymP00H
— deja 🏳️🌈 (@dejaistired) August 23, 2018
Gillott Bowe recommends that when crafting an apology, whether to a friend in private or to an entire fanbase through a public statement, you don't want to keep repeating "I'm sorry."
"You want to be sincere," she said. "You don't want to dwell on it. Once you say you're sorry you don't want to belabor it."
In Zamora's video, he said, "I don't want to give excuses ... it was ignorant, it was stupid." Instead of jumping to begging his subscribers not to call him racist, he asked them to take time to process his apology. He also linked two videos about the history of the N word and a lecture from author Ta-Nehisi Coates about "words that don't belong to everyone."
Then, in typical YouTuber fashion, he moved on and exposed Lee and Manny MUA for throwing him under the bus and refusing to take accountability when their tweets were exposed.
Fed up of going on YouTube and all the videos being titled ‘my truth’, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘my apology’. I just want to watch a fucking makeup tutorial
— georgia (@georgievowles) August 23, 2018
Although that's exactly the kind of drama YouTube subscribers want to hear, Gillott Bowe probably wouldn't go for that cutthroat, spilling the tea approach. She'd rather her clients wrap up an apology by looking forward.
"You talk about the future," she said. "The things you want to change to make sure it doesn't happen again, and then you stay positive."
So for future YouTubers who need to make an apology — whether it's Tana Mongeau apologizing for calling her black friend a racial slur or Jenna Marbles apologizing for being an unprepared fish owner — here's the formula that Gillott Bowe endorses.
1. Open with something positive.
Gillott Bowe recommends "easing into it" by thanking people for their support.
2. Say you're sorry and don't drag it on.
"Focus right on the apology," she said. Don't try to skirt responsibility or avoid taking accountability. It's better for all parties if you just own up to what you did wrong.
3. End on a good note.
Gillott Bowe calls this a "compliment sandwich." You want to close the apology with something "nice and hopeful," like outlining the steps you'll take to improve.
4. Don't do it again.
She brings up a quote often misattributed to Albert Einstein: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
"People have a tremendous capacity to forgive," Gillott Bowe explains, "But you don't want to keep apologizing if you're going to end up doing shitty things again anyway."
Navigating the public sphere after a major scandal will probably be rocky for a while, but Gillott Bowe is sure that if an apology is genuine, the person at fault will be OK.
"There are the kinds of people who are going to hate you no matter what you do," she said. "But if the people in the middle could be swayed either way, those are the people you're gearing toward."
Or, you know, you could also just try not to be racist.
WATCH: An ancient human species went extinct because it was 'lazy'
#_uuid:4ce438a8-3dc2-305e-975b-38d8cdfd5a8c#_author:Morgan Sung#_category:yct:001000002#_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL#_revsp:news.mashable
0 notes
Text
Ava DuVernay Profile
Most know Ava Duvernay, if they know her at all, as the fame gaining director of Selma the movie about Martin Luther King Jr. and the march from Selma to Montgomery, but there is much more to this successful, genuine, intelligent female African American film maker. Ava was the first African American female to win numerous awards such as the academy award for best picture, an Oscar for best director, as well as a golden globe for her work in Selma. Ava puts her all into every movie she has ever made; always tying in a serous theme/message of activism, which added to inform the public and hopefully progressively change the way this country or her audience views these issues. Ava has a winning perspective on directing and life in general; When put on a small budgeted movie she looks at what she can buy rather than what she cant or what she could, she will not direct a film without having some say in how it goes and without the morality of the movie matching her views. DuVernay keeps it real and keeps making a “forward impact” and all the while is becoming very successful because of it. She has been paving the way for millions of future African American and also female Film makers and directors but as of right now Ava is living in a realm, which has in history, been mostly dominated by white males and, still, she is succeeding gloriously.
Ava was born on August 24, 1972 in long beach California, Lynwood specifically, where she was raised by her father who grew up during the civil rights movement in Montgomery, Alabama, along with her mother and sister. Ava began her career in journalism after attending the University of California, Los Angeles where she received a double major in English and African American studies. Ava DuVernay began engaging in activism at a young age but didn’t really think it possible for an African American woman to direct films, she eventually began pushing so that she could; first working as a publicist and then beginning to realize that there was no reason she shouldn’t be able to make film. Ava had $50000, “Parking fees for one day on Jurassic park”, in order to buy a house and decided she would rather pursue a career in movies and used that as a small budget to create her first documentary film “I Will Fallow”. From there she blew up, slowly but surely, in the black and female community first, then in the film industry and finally she has made it.
Her first Narrative Documentary film Middle of nowhere was where she started to really gain recognition in the film industry. To make a film that would win multiple awards and be accepted and appreciated as a good film on a budget of 200000, and to own it on top of that as well as advertise it yourself, is a big deal; with all the work she puts into her films, she deserves the recognition she has gotten. Unlike most filmmakers she looks at the glass half full; in the case of “middle of Nowhere” rather than focusing on what she didn’t have she looked at what she did have and what she could do with that, and it turned out great! The middle of nowhere is a movie with a message about the incarceration system and its impact on women and African Americans, especially African American women who are waiting for their man to get out of prison. The movie is also about love and, more specifically, the mind of a lonely woman. The movie also shows a message about the way some people bring you down as well as the consequences of bad decisions. In 2012 at the Sundance film festival “the middle of nowhere” allowed her to become the first African American woman to win the best director prize at Sundance. She absolutely deserved the award and in my eyes is she is one of the realist and most underated directors out there; im not much of an advocate for documentary films but the issues she talks about have the same impact to me as fight clubs ending. The movie opens people’s eyes to the reality of a lonely woman who’s potential and love is wasted, and a little bit of the reality of couples effected by incarceration.
In one the largest budgeted and most significant films DuVernay has done so far, Selma, she truly outdid herself and impressed some of the most influential African Americans out there as well as the entire film community. DuVernay wasn’t actually the originally cast director, Lee Daniels was the first pick. After casting Duvernays Friend, David Oyelowo to play King in Selma; Daniels backed out of the film because he felt that in his 2013 movie “the Butler” he had made his contribution to the civil rights movement. Oyelowo was the one that mentioned DuVernays name when they needed a director, expecting backlash due to the fact that she had never done a film of this magnitude. Oyelowo had just participated in DuVernays 2010 film as a bus driver who had a “relationship” with ruby in “middle of nowhere”; funny how he was cast through a friend of a friend of a friend who sat next to Oyelowo on a flight and relayed the script, which he fell in love with. Then in 2013 when the director of Selma backed out he couldn’t let the film go unmade, after they assured DuVernay that she could change the script because, as she put it “I wasn't interested in making a Mississippi Burning through the eyes of a white protagonist,” She was onboard with the film. Ava didn’t have to learn Selma to make Selma, she grew up partially in Montgomery. DuVernay changed the focus of the movie, without gaining much credit, from LBJ’s backroom efforts to sign the voting rights act to “The band of brothers and sisters who were around King.” “My interest was showing people on the ground in Selma,” says DuVernay after changing the original script that white Englishman Paul Webb wrote. Ava changed the central theme to be Martin Luther King Jr. which is quite the feat having there never before been a MLK movie. DuVernay was able to get Oprah on the cast, as well as freedom fighters, Andrew Young and John Lewis as well as many other Great actors and activists allowing those who were a part of the real thing to be honored through the movie. In the final seen of Selma she took over Alabama’s capital, and was able to film at the same marble steps Governor George Wallace had tried to prevent King from stepping foot on and Ava says this was “one of the greatest moments” of her life.
In Ava’s newest Film, “The 13th” DuVernay documented an expansive chronicle of national shame. This movie went deep into the long history of the racial inequality exhibited in the United States, touching on subjects like the incarceration rate, the drug war, the klu klux klan, Jim Crow laws and many other things that suppressed African Americans rights. DuVernay was approached by Netflix, pretty close to the time she was making Selma, which wanted DuVernay to do something specifically for Netflix which would give her full authority on what and how it was made. And when she had time after Selma Ava was happy to get back into documentary film making especially since they were giving her the latitude and time to make one that she was fully invested in. Ava also states that she could have made the documentary into a 6 hour ministry but they made it so that you could go and research more about the things that interest you and at the same time stay entertained and invested in the movie. And believe it or not Ava also stated she wasn’t making the movie to influence the election, she did put clips of Hillary and trump and could have started great debate’s if she added more but, as she puts it, Its not about them. Even DuVernay was surprised at some of the many issues highlighted in the movie like ALEC or the American legislative exchange council which, she states, creates fake laws and pays for them to become real. This time Ava has made a documentary that touches everyone who watches it someway making them want to do something about the isssues; she has put generations of oppression into a watchable and manageable film and she has even stated that this was probably the biggest thing she has ever tackled.
Ava DuVernay is a wonderful director, a great writer, successful CEO, good publicist and soars in many other things, but most of all she is an activist who intends to make a difference that will change humanity for the better. Through her company AFFRM she helps other African Americans make and succeed in making movies along with making a name for black film, she has allowed her hardship with becoming a director fuel change. She has made multiple movies that show more than just a great story but have an impact on viewers and can make them think about something more real, an issue that has shaped the last few century’s most of the time, racism. She is a huge roll model for what I’m sure is a large amount of fans and a really good, successful and smart roll model at that; she has helped make means for others like herself to make it in what she does. Ava Duvernay’s films have a lot of meaning entwined in the story and if not, then the story is meaningful itself, this is the coolest thing to me; she’s really not just out here to make money, she wants to make film and an impact. Ava seems like a super cool and genuine person from all of the interviews I read and I think she is only going to become more successful; If you don’t know much about DuVernay, its about time to look her up!
sources;
Conversations with Ava DuVernay—“A Call to Action”:
Author(s): Michael T. Martin
Source: Black Camera, Vol. 6, No. 1 (Fall 2014), pp. 57-91
Published by: Indiana University Press
Ava DuVernay, Directing History;
Author: Jada Yuan
Source: 2014 New York Media
Ava DuVernay on the 13th
Author: Ashley Clark
Source: 54th New York Film Festival
Wikipedia Ava DuVernay
www.avaduvernay.com
Martin, Michael T., and Ava DuVernay. "Conversations with Ava
DuVernay: 'A Call to Action': Organizing Principles of an Activist
Cinematic Practice." Black Camera: An International Film Journal 6.1
(2014): 57-91. Print.
YUAN, JADA. "Ava DuVernay, Directing History." New York 47.28
(2014). Print.
Clark, Ashley. "Ava DuVernay on the 13th." Film Comment 52.5
(2016): 34-39. Print.
https://twitter.com/ava 1st picture
http://honeycuttshollywood.com/middle-of-nowhere/ 2nd picture
http://www.cntraveler.com/galleries/2013-07-05/photos-celebrate-nation-50-state-capitol-buildings 3rd picture
https://www.newssummedup.com/summary/13th-review-Unmissable-Ava-DuVernay-directs-one-of-the-best-films-of-the-year-7n7rd5 4th picture
0 notes
Photo
I fell into an Ai Weiwei hole where i spent a multitude of hours scanning the web for his works; im just in awe. I then came across this documentary by Alison Klayman which advertised itself as a vision with unprecedented access to his life through exhibition preparation, time with family, and political activism work. Reviews on the DVD box discussed it was an essential portrait that everyone must watch on a key contemporary artist while others discussed the emotional roller-coast that will leave us passionate, laughing but with our blood boiling. I knew i could learn much more about this, to me, key artist who only works in statement art pieces while uncovering his inspirations and the political environment of the world and imparticularly China and America, and their ultimate effects on him. I find it my duty in my life to educated myself to situations that extend beyond my town, country and life in order to truly judge the world and its social climate. The film opens on his house which is heavily covered in CCTV cameras placed by the Chinese government to keep track of anything that occurs on his property. But of course they have the power to intrude into peoples lives and home like this, its kind of scary and unheard of in western societys. Yet, what i found funny out of this was a gold plaque which read 258 FAKE. A simple childish joke on his house address but really sums up his humour and desire to break the mould set by his government (in this case set house numbers and street names which can add or detract value but here he creates his own with no other houses with the same name to compare therefore defeating our fake illusion of the value of objects). His place was crawling in dogs and cats which might just come across superficially but his place came out to the interest of studying their behaviour. He noticed his cats watched as people opened and closed the doors until one day a cat did it in front of him. It shocked him. He would never have thought that possible unless he met a cat who could. In a way he is the cat in this world. He defys a powerful government, risking his life, to tell people it is possible break away and express yourself. I feel his ability to go against the grain especially in the art world comes from the fact he isn't in the Chinese art circle. He didn't graduate from art colleges but instead was himself which excludes him, in a positive way. Yet, it was his invitation to design the Olympics 2008 games bird nest stadium that made him a must have artist in galleries and his work and he was the first citizens voice that showed hate against the games values itself and hence put his name on the watching list of the government. It was there that he become this lone wolf icon. Yet, he gave the opportunity to become rich up in order to keep his freedom within his work. Critics will identify that his work will shock you like a surprise slap to the face, it'll leave you confused and taken a back but not enough for you to leave or run away. He focuses on transparency as to him it means his liberty (i think he embodies being the brand for liberal). It comes through more conceptually rather than visually. He has the meaning and depth to work with which then creates these interesting pieces. The work is transparent in terms of being able to identify his motives for creating the work. Its often subtly very apparent in a way which in a result of being a creator on reactions. For instance his reaction to China's 60th anniversary, he got his team to say FUCK YOUR MOTHERLAND to a camera. It was bold and truly defied the government; it was unbelievably risky, shocking and had fans and critics alike thinking he would be arrested for this. In a way, maybe he is this bold because of his thirteen years in New York City. A place where protests were common and applauded but freedom was protected and the government put itself out there and held itself accountable for some wrongs. This western courage surely influenced his ability to stand up against China. “Protest is a way of experiencing democracy”. He didn't hate his country, he loved its culture but surely couldn't stand the way it was being run or what it stands for in this modern day world. This was to end up being his downfall where he was abducted by police and held for 81 days to be accounted for as missing. Yet, the entire world cried out with #freeaiweiwei. Exhibitions, celebrities and other governments spread messages of peace, love and the desire to bring him back as well as conflict with China’s government. People knew it was them who were behind this and this ultimate put tensions on many worldly connections. They released him on bail under the crime of tax evasion but he was to be silenced with no social media use or interviews for a year. The footage of him coming home were sicking to me. You could hear the pain and sadness in his voice when he was forced, ney oppressed, to conform to laws from the governing body which meant he couldn't express himself or tell his stories. This is the exact thing he was criticising. But i admire his risky behaviour in order to draw attention to what he sees misfit in the world. Without people like this corruption has no competition and would grow to consume. Its essential to always be critical in this world and stand up for the good and what you believe in. Voices matter and when you dont have the power of an icon, a mass of people can do just the same. In review, to me, this was an extremely powerful documentary that really moved me; it ‘got me going’. I was brought back into this world. Taken out of this perfect little life of love, happiness and freedom and brought back to the harsh truths of a fucked up world. I felt moved and ready to make a stance against all this shit, in a way Ai Weiwei does. If anything my love, and admiration has grown stronger. I think i need to approach my work in this way. A way which puts my view, my message and my concept first above the visualisation. The result is a result of this statement and such the art piece will make enough sense for anyone to grasp my statement, even if its to a superficial level. I think i really love the way his work feels raw but well composed. Its got a level of craftsmanship involved which just makes it feel professional. It can be the team of working creating specifically angles for Chinese stools to attach and be structurally sound or the black and white filter on a photography which makes it feel professional and worth something (very old fine art inspired in a way which means it has to have a work and material value). I need to make sure i stay true to me and my voice. The work will create it self from here. I should take this further and continue side reading into newspaper and social media stories in order to grasp the extent of the world and how my generation is responding. I want to respond in a way which really puts my generations view into reality and respect. I feel there is not enough of young artists being appreciated for the statements in their work. I feel i can do this by making sure my art pieces have a physical effect, this can be through taboo crude ideas which comments controversy or a size scale which shocks people. All this in a way which Ai Weiwei creates. He captures audiences in awe and makes them create a dialogue discussing the complexity to his work and subconsciously the issue he has shown a spotlight on. I want to investigate my voice in a similar way to find areas which i feel aren’t represented or discussed enough. I feel here there is room for unique work to be created from new topics which would interest someone to talk about my work.
21/04/2017
0 notes
Text
The alternative 2016 sports awards: the years best quotes, gaffes and meltdowns
https://clearwatergolfclub.com/the-alternative-2016-sports-awards-the-years-best-quotes-gaffes-and-meltdowns/
The alternative 2016 sports awards: the years best quotes, gaffes and meltdowns
Your investment medal tables: it had been another big year for sporting soap opera. The quotes, the rows and also the capybaras that made yesteryear 12 several weeks special
Star of the season
Cristiano Ronaldo won a 4th Ballon dOr, launched a variety of CR7 blankets, tossed a microphone into a lake, inspired a tantrum meme, and located the eras defining football press conference, using the press banned from asking them questions. He denied it had been his idea to possess the questions resulting from a Uefa media officer rather: I decide nothing. Also, he made an appearance to goes a magic fully-created Euro 2016 TV graphic during Portugals quarter-final. Perfect.
Ian Finch (@FinchIan)
Not only a skilful player, Ronaldo may also gob out a replay wipe #POLPOR pic.twitter.com/UC44YRv5TA
June 30, 2016
Manager of the season
Claudio Ranieri, using the edge off 2016.Hey, man, dilly-ding, dilly-dong. Seriously! Former Ranieri player Gianfranco Zola revealed the saying was attempted and tested. Hes always stated dilly-ding, dilly-dong. Hes a vibrant guy. Initially when i first heard it’ understood what he meant. He explained it a lot of occasions.
Modern footballer of the season
Lots of contenders, but two Rental property men share the title: club captain Gabby Agbonlahor, relegated on the nitrous oxide legal high 2 yrs after extending his Rental property deal because: I get that very same buzz pulling around the Rental property shirt, and team-mate Joleon Lescott, who livened up last seasons harsh run-in by tweeting a photograph of a sports car following a 6- defeat and telling the press how going lower would be a real weight off the shoulders. He left on the free in August.
Also standing his ground: Poultry midfielder Ozan Tufan upset with media critique throughout the Euros after he was caught on camera doing his hair as Croatias Luka Modric formed as much as score before him. I do not get the way a single moment by which I actually do my locks are considered an error. It damages my confidence.
youtube
Best Olympic moment
Recording the atmosphere: Nikki Hamblin and Abbey DAgostino helping one another finish Rios 5,000m after colliding mid-race. Hamblin: After I went lower it had been like: Whats happening? Why shall we be held on the floor? And all of a sudden theres this hands on my small shoulder. That girl may be the Olympic spirit, immediately.
Story from the summer time
Syrian teen Yusra Mardini winning her heat within the 100m butterfly for that Refugee Team in Rio, annually after surviving the capsize of the six-man dinghy transporting 20 refugees towards Lesbos. This is actually awesome there are plenty of tales about me now and lots of people who wish to take my picture: its assisting to spread our message. This doesn’t stop here This isn’t the finish.
Most off-message
1) US womens football star Hope Solo, reflecting on their own Rio quarter-final defeat to Norway: We performed a courageous game but we performed a lot of cowards. The very best team didn’t win, I strongly, firmly think that. They wont allow it to be far. They provided the ultimate. And 2) The uniform golfers delivering their pre-Games causes of not likely to Rio. Rory McIlroy: Though the chance of infection in the Zika virus is recognized as low, it’s a risk nevertheless. Dustin Manley: My concerns concerning the Zika virus can’t be overlooked. Jason Day: The only reason behind my decision may be the danger to future people in our family. And Vijay Singh: I must take part in the Olympic games, however the Zika virus, you realize everything crap.
Best change of direction
Originated from Sepp Blatters substitute at Fifa, Gianni Infantino calling his new pay deal evidence of its emerging anti-avarice culture. Infantino stated his modest contract 1.15m fundamental plus bonuses, vehicle, house, 1,542-a-month expenses and funding for just one-off costs for example 1,100 for any tuxedo and 660 on flowers reflects greater than any word can reflect my strong will to finish recent conduct.
Former Fifa man of the season
Most relaxed because the FBI required a grip: former Concacaf mind Jeffrey Webb, who located a Harlem Renaissance-themed blackjack party in Feb while under house arrest in the Georgia mansion he bought with fraud money. Webb, looking for sentencing next May, required the Concacaf presidency this year pledging to attract a line underneath the organisations shameful Jack Warner era: We must move the clouds, and let the sunshine in.
Interview of the season
Gary and Paul ODonovan, live on RT in August after winning Irelands first rowing gold discussing the craic, Nutella, peeing in cups, how you can row (close your vision and pull just like a dog), and just how sad they believed to stay in Rio simply because they were missing the Rio-themed parties in Skibbereen. Recently these were named RT Sport Team of the season, appeared inside a new documentary Pull Just like a Dog, were interviewed for Graham Nortons New Years Eve BBC1 show, and named as Britains most Googled Irish-related search phrase within the entire 2016. Gary: Its funny the way in which its labored out.
youtube
Best commentary moments
Icelands Euro 2016 coverage, which from Irelands Cathal Dennehy and Ronan Duggan, live streaming Aprils Irish Universities Athletics Association womens 4 x 400m dramatic relay final being an outsider billed in the depths of hell to victory. Dennehy accepted later hed achieved a pitch approximately your dog whistle along with a squealing pig All of us lost the brain.
youtube
Worst commentary moments
1) Canadas Olympic broadcaster CBC apologising in August after their swimming commentator known as the entire mens 200m individual medley mistaking Michael Phelps for Ryan Lochte and 2) John Virgo, confident he was off-air during BBC1s live coverage of Mark Selby and Marco Fus epic contest at snookers World Championship in April: I wanted to watch a bit of racing this afternoon. Ill be lucky to look at some fucking Match during the day. Spokesman: Hes embarrassed and apologetic.
Pundit of the season
The clip that never grows old. Skys Steve McClaren in June, together with his in-play analysis of Englands reaction to Icelands equaliser: It has been the right response from England. You simply think: Not a problem, begin anew, keep dominating, keep getting pressure around the Iceland back four the only real factor they have got may be the big boy in advance Sigurdsson, nobody Sigthorsson Oh, ohhh
youtube
Best attitude
Mike Allardyce negotiating the 400,000 top-up that ended his 67-day England reign. He guaranteed undercover reporters hed deliver their pretend clients keynote speaking, thats what Id do, Im a keynote speaker plus good value not only the keynote speech but additionally within the bar after. I do not are available in like many of them, bang, youre off. What happens I am talking about? Im likely to stand in the bar. Possess a couple of social drinks.
Best protest
Charlton and Coventry fans, staging some pot protest in October against both clubs boards by hurling hundreds of plastic pigs in the pitch. @CAFCofficial, 3.02pm: Play is stopped. Pigs on pitch. 3.03pm: (A fantasy ones).
Social networking awards
Best live tweeting: 1) Danny Willetts brother Pete, watching the Masters in April with tweets including: Without words. I once punched that kid in the head for hurting my pet rat. Now look and: Ive shared a shower having a Masters champion. His Ryder Cup online preview in September which branded US fans pudgy, filthy cretins along with a baying mob of imbeciles didnt go down so well. 2) @hastingsufc, remaining professional from the odds in October: Apologies for insufficient updates / Ive been stung with a wasp. Even game, no significant chances. 3) And Icelands @rvkgrapevine, giving one minute-by-minute evaluation of keeper Hannes Halldorssons summer time performance against Portugal. dinns breath propelled our heroic goalkeeper to swat away that weak-ass header and: Goalkeeper Such As The High cliff FACE AT DYRHOLAEY The Only Real Factor Which Will DESTROY HIM IS CENTURIES OF Seaside EROSION.
Most sincere tweet: Sunderlands Victor Anichebe, copying and pasting an excessive amount of what his PR team sent him after Octobers defeat to West Pork @VictorAnichebe: Are you able to tweet something similar to: Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort through the lads! Hard lead to take! But we go again!
Most confused: Californian Facebook user Petra Fyde, asking her buddies and family in June: At the chance of sounding stupid How come a lot of strange men within my facebook inbox saying WILL GRIGGS Burning, YOUR DEFENSE IS PETRA FYDE?????? What the heck is happening?
And also the best-crafted pledge: @Joey7Barton, 24 May: To be a Ranger would be to sense the sacred trust of upholding everything this type of name means within this shrine of football. 15 Sep: I apologise unreservedly.
Frederick Barton (@Joey7Barton)
To become a Ranger would be to sense the sacred trust of upholding everything this type of name means within this shrine of football. pic.twitter.com/nb5yTKq420
May 24, 2016
Best put-lower
Andy Murray in August, requested by John Inverdale: Youre the very first person to ever win two Olympic tennis golds, thats an remarkable task, is it not? Murray: I believe Venus and Serena have won four each. @jk_rowling: Murray just advised John Inverdale that ladies are people too.
Best analysis
One of the footballers reacting to Brexit in June: @PetrCech:It appears as though the greatest decision within the good reputation for the united states is made with different fake campaign and lies. Italys Giorgio Chiellini:The primary problem is an eventual domino effect. I do not think the straightforward United kingdom exit can alter the equilibrium from the whole European economy, besides the acid reflux everyones feeling. I believe the discontent shouldnt result in disintegration. Jermaine Pennant @pennant83: Now we’re not in Europe whats going to take place using the next euros 2018??? And Nolito: What’s Brexit? I believe its dancing. I might be wrong.
Wisest words
25 November:England coach Eddie Johnson, hailing wing Elliot Daly within the buildup for their game against Argentina: He is doing stuff you dont coach. 26 November:Daly sent off after five minutes.
Sharpest PR
Rio 2016 spokesperson Mario Andrada explaining why organisers couldnt be anticipated to simply fix the eco-friendly water within the pool overnight: Chemistry isn’t an exact science.
Best customer support
In August Englands slow over-rate against Pakistan motivated spectator Alexis Larger to tweet: I would like 10% of my money-back. Wouldnt visit football and discover it ended after 80mins. Alex Hales tweeted back: ok DM me your bank details then transferred 4.10.
Miss of the season
Italys Simone Zaza tiptoeing his way to stardom in the place against Germany in the Euros the summers single greatest non-Ronaldo meme. Among the remixes: Zaza like a seagull rubber stamping for worms, Zaza doing Olympic dressage, and Zaza inside a queue for that toilet. Zaza: Regrettably the ball went excessive. It will likely be beside me throughout my existence.
youtube
Single worst moment of 2016
Setting a dark tone for Trump, Brexit, Farage and exactly what adopted Germany coach Joachim Lws distressing televised in-trouser scratch and sniff routine in mid-June. Im sorry for this. When you’re filled with adrenaline, unexpected things happen that you simply dont see. I’ll attempt to behave differently later on.
President of the season
Palermos 74-year-old owner Maurizio Zamparini entered 2016 searching to place his coach-eater image to sleep. Heres the way it unfolded:
10 Jan: Zamparini denies hes already feeling twitchy about his new coach Davide Ballardini. I won’t sack him, despite the fact that I possibly could. 11 Jan: Sacks him and hires Guillermo Barros Schelotto. 11 February:Finds out Schelotto hasn’t got his badges and hires Giovanni Bosi rather. 15 February: Sacks Bosi and rehires Giuseppe Iachini, who he sacked in November. 8 Marly:Calls Iachini a fool that has gone mad and replaces him with Walter Novellino. 12 Apr:Sacks Novellino, rehires Ballardini. People say Ive gone mad, but Im the victim here. 6 Sep: Hires Roberto de Zerbi after Ballardini resigns two games in to the season. 28 November:Denies he already has his doubts about De Zerbi. I’ll keep him. That’s my decision. 30 November: Sacks De Zerbi to be pitiful and hires Eugenio Corini to determine out a hard year. Why Corini? There wasnt much on the market.
Most British moment
In April West Indies needed an unlikely 19 in the final to win the planet T20 and Englands Ben Stokes was the person using the ball in the hands to shut the result. Four balls and 4 Carlos Brathwaite sixes later, it had been over. I send Ben commiserations, stated Brathwaite. Hes a complete legend.
Most unpredicted hero
Marcus Willbomb Willis, world No775 as he stunned Wimbledon and, almost, Roger Federer sticking it to trolls who dubbed him Cartman because of his big bones. His Wimbledon run ended having a cheque for 30,000. It is the greatest pay day Ive ever endured. I’m able to repay a few charge cards now.
Chant of the season
Huh! by Iceland. Also worth a mention: tactics-minded Carlisle fans having a Peter Andre-themed message to manager Keith Curle: Woah-oh-oh-oh, Mysterious Curle, I wanna play 3-5-2.
Best falling lower
2016s best football tumbles: Brazilian players Marcelo Cordeiro and Rossi pretending to have been headbutted by each other in October (Cordeiro: Thats just existence. Thats the sport were in) Toulouse coach Pascal Dupraz feeling upset in November by critique of his response to a paper plane brushing his head: Each one of these critics, theyre so brave and Louis van Gaals Miranda Hart pratfall in Feb, because he designed a serious point.
youtube
Best Strictly contenders
a) Everton manager Roberto Martnez, filmed dancing at a Jason Derulo concert in Feb b) Mike Allardyce, spotted in Marbella in May spinning on the spot to Rihannas We Found Love and c) Alan Pardew, marking Castles FA Cup final goal by throwing dad shapes on Wembleys touchline. The 3 of these were sacked within several weeks.
Politicians of the season
Were Icelands Ministry for Foreign Matters, @MFAIceland explaining how their 23-man Euro 2016 squad chose itself by whittling lower their people in this country of 332,529.
MFA Iceland (@MFAIceland)
@pin_upicierno pic.twitter.com/ot0Mq2lsjM
June 27, 2016
Best celebration
Michail Antonios horizontal-running grass-dance in Feb after scoring for West Pork. I saw The Simpsons Movie a few days ago. I believe I pulled them back.
Least foreseeable setback
British cyclist Adam Yates, out while watching primary peloton within the Tour de France in This summer, simply to be flattened whenever a fans belt punctured an inflatable Vittel advertising arch. He still continued to win the white-colored jersey, though.
youtube
Best clarification
Skiing star Lindsey Vonn, ambassador for Mind skis and bindings, reacted to some ski detaching mid-race in Feb by posting a video of herself destroying her Mind bindings having a hammer. After talks together with her agent she clarified: It was by no means, shape or form an expression around the performance from the Mind skis and bindings. In my opinion in Mind.
Most distracted
French fencer Enzo Lefort entering the Rio Games declaring: Ive given something to arrive here. Its important to not be distracted then being booed through the crowd after his phone fell out of his pocket mid-bout.
Best pose
Roy Hodgson, recognizing themself around the giant screen as England trailed to Iceland.
Danny Bloodstream (@dannyswfc)
Whenever you place your self on the giant screen and wish individuals to think there is a plan… pic.twitter.com/YLX3Mf6kB0
June 27, 2016
Best comeback
Andy Townsend, back on ITV for that summer time: Thats as blatant a problem as youll ever see. Could it have been certainly within the box? I do not know.
Worst luck
Australian rugby league star Jarryd Hayne, cutting short his presentation to 200 school pupils around the risks of the web when his screen began flashing up porn. Organisers stated the pictures didn’t originate from Jarryds device Hayne: It had been awkward. Wow.
Greatest last laugh
Louise Watson obtaining the second biggest fine in Wimbledon history, 9,040, for racket smashing 1,500 greater than Viktor Troickis acceptable for ranting from the worst ever umpire on the planet. She arrived on the scene ahead, though: winning 50,000 on her mixed doubles victory.
Cheapest blow
Spare a concept for Serb rowers Milos Vasic and Nenad Bedik, who showed up in Rio feeling good after 4 years of beginning training and sank after 1,250m.
Greatest attention seekers
Headlining 12 several weeks of viral animal cameos: a) an unflustered cat supporting play at Januarys Everton v Dagenham game, then losing its poise when keeper Joel Robles shooed it b) a squirrel doing the same at Marchs third T20 between Nigeria and Australia (@samuelfez: Watson in to the attack. Zampa at square leg. Maxwell gully. Squirrel deep point #SAvAUS) c) 20 mongooses storming a green during Novembers European Tours Nedbank Golf Challenge in Nigeria
youtube
and d) two pitch-invading dogs one sparking an earlier tea in Novembers second India v England Test, another chasing Gois left-back Juninho throughout a Brazilian Serie B game. Juninho stated he ran since you cant tell with dogs locals told RBS TV the stray, Zulu, is simply soppy If he sees a ball, he goes chasing. Not one of them outshone time top sporting animal, though: Brazils hefty and nonplussed golf course capybaras. Australia captain Ian Baker-Finch: That bloody factor is big. Have you ever seen it? Its half wombat, half dog. US player Matt Kuchar: Its just like a moosehead on the gigantic rat. US director Andy Levinson: It appears as though your dog. A just like a dog-pig.
Plus special mention for: Lorenzo the horse, dancing to Smooth by Santana in Rios individual dressage.
Most thorough
These warning notices stuck over the toilets in Rios Olympic Village, banning a variety of unlicensed toilet activities. US basketball star Elena Delle Donne: Guess I will not be toilet fishing today.
Most depressing fact
For fans of the certain age: in May Burys Callum Styles grew to become the very first footballer born in 2000 to look inside a League game in November fellow millennial Moise Kean switched out for Juventus within the Champions League.
Getting people together
Wales midfielder Joe Ledley: dancing for Europe last summer time. One of the headlines: La drole de danse du Gallois and Ledley enflamme le vestiaire.
Best message
Cricketer Liam Thomas wasnt frustrated in October when his prosthetic leg came off as he dived close to the boundary while fielding for that England Physical Disability team. He jumped following the ball rather and delivered a fierce return. Should there be kids available watching who thought they couldnt take part in the game before week, he stated later, I would like these to know they are able to do anything whatsoever installed their mind to.
youtube
Most satisfactory reply
Originated from 15-year-old Wimbledon women singles champion Anastasia Potapova answering press questions regarding her existence after winning the ultimate. I do not have siblings or siblings but I’ve got a duck, Vita. Shes small.
Best swagger
Haitian hurdler Jeffrey Julmis the undisputed star from the 110m hurdles in Rio. Within the selection before his race he gave your camera some textbook Usain Bolt-style attitude, then went mind over heels in the first hurdle.
Most uplifting
Showing the planet isnt totally damaged: Barcelonas under-14s side, lightly consoling their tearful Japanese rivals after beating them within the final of Augusts Junior Soccer World Challenge a mixture of hugs and pep talks.
youtube
Plus: most offended
Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita upset by reports in August that hed knocked the bar off with his penis. Irrrve never expected the foreign media to consider me lower such as this. Its false, and i’m devastated they mock and ridicule me a lot. He later tweeted: Watching again, this really is pretty funny, basically let them know myself. LOL.
Find out more: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/jan/01/alternative-2016-sports-awards-quotes-gaffes-meltdowns
0 notes