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#im fucking broke all the time
sharkylad · 18 days
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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nitw · 2 years
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crying
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tianhai03 · 10 months
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felt like drawing kiryu how i dressed him up in gaiden... i havent drawn him in like 2 years i think. feels good to be back 🐉
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shadystranger · 3 months
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What was up with cass fighting for his life to stop dean from rescusing sam (not to mention his almost enthusiastic jumping to move past sam's death) He did NOT have that energy when the roles were reversed
like summin smell fishy and it aint just cass's pussy
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2700k-moogie · 9 months
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Milk ref sheet done yaHOOOOOOOOOOO lookit my big beautiful baby they filled with joy and happiness
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stormbreaker-290 · 3 days
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Ca n
Can someone just
Can I pretty please be rid of my booba I don't want tgem-
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#and i feel like im going insane trying ti map out the full extent of the transmisogyny of it all#when i tried to help him with the frustrations he was having with his friend and defended the friend even slightly#he accused me of talking like the friend was my actual boyfriend and told me to go run away with him#when he broke a fuck ton of glass in our bathroom his clean up was even more half assed than usual cause of the state he was in#so even as he apologized to me and called his behaviour abuse and used all the right words#it was still me cleaning up after his abuse literally with a broom and mop#i still freak out at rhe very idea of broken glass and i know that trigger isnt going away anytime soon#and i still didnt leave after that#then him and his friend took so many of my words out of context to essentially accuse me of emotional cheating with people on here#and i cant think about that conversation without thinking about how yall on here have talked about abusers using cheating accusations#and when we finally broke uo he couldnt help but keep giving me permission for things#permission to throw something of his in a lake#permission to let my friends talk shit and be mean#but then when i had something mean to say afterwards and he saw it by checking my blog#he punished me for it by doing everything he could tk scare thr shit out of me#cause even as we were broken uo he hadnt given me permission to talk shit#only to listen to my friends#and even after all that him and his friend still expected that i would share my car and weed for them to use#and i still did with the car cause im either wonderful for dumb as hell#probably both#then after all that his friend cut me off as a friend using the fact that i had asked him why he was refusing to even look at me and if we#were cool to say i was demanding and pushing him and not respecting his boundaries#he used me asking why i was being treated as a pariah to justify treating me as a pariah#after all i had refused to still be a punching bag#i stopped buying him weed#so it was time for me to be disposed of#and even as they disposed of me they still expected me to live in that house for another fucking month with them#i was used and disposed of by two of the people i was closest with#one of whom i would have married eventually if he hadnt pushed it over the edge
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neonraven28 · 5 months
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Do you think Logan and Hesh ever felt fear during the campaign? Ever felt lost?
Like, sure, throughout the campaign they've had multiple life threathening missions, but only after Elias' death was there truly an all or nothing mindset— where the smallest mistake could determine the outcome of everything.
When the Walker brothers decided that they'd die, just to take Rorke down... Did they feel they had nothing left to loose, so long as both were gone and so was Rorke?
Was that the reason they really gave it their all, pushing through their injuries? They were ready to die and they made sure that Rorke wouldn't survive no matter what (well, we know how that went...)
Just how much weight left their shoulders the moment they survived? The moment they sat on the beach, panting, watching bombs paint the sky?
And how fucking hard did reality sink in at the sight of Rorke, surviving just like them?
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darealsaltysam · 2 years
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im at my fucking limit oh my god atreus running to kratos to hug him after freeing garm and kratos hugging him back and then letting go and then realizing atreus ISNT letting go and NEEDS comfort and continuing to hug him and asking him what happened and not getting mad or impatient and just letting him know he’s there for him and even as EVERYONE berates him for freeing garm kratos steps in and defends him because he understands how unbearably COMPASSIONATE his son is even for an evil hellhound and telling him they’ll fix this together and how he’s not angry and is only happy that he’s safe and and and and and AND AND-
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heartslobbf · 1 year
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hello hi for the love of god hello. does anyone else care about the fact that a-ko and b-ko perform all of the akio ohtori and apocalypse arc shadow plays apart from their episodes 34 and 37 collabs with c-ko, and, more importantly imho, c-ko’s solo performance in episode 31. like. her tragedy’s shadow play takes place on the wall of penis tower, it’s just c-ko, it revives every stylistic choice of the black rose arc shadow plays, even down to utena delivering the punchline at the end. anthy holding a microphone up to utena…… the monkey-catching robot making a comeback…… i have shadow girl thoughts forever and always………..
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vonlipvig · 5 months
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I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I WON. I WON IN WAYS BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS. OH MY GOD.
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 8 months
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the father [solar lunacy] the son [you move to dayshift but aren't paid any more, go figure] and the holy spirit [i see you, sundrop!]
#random thoughts#fnaf#solar lunacy because it's what people think of when they think about iconic sun and moon fics (and for good reason)#(bamsara is a master at subtext and creating little scenes that all build up to a beautiful picture)#dayshift go figure because god. the corporate bullshit. the domestic bullshit. THE VIRUS BULLSHIT.#and also because it features my all-time favorite original character (drumroll please)#dundundundundun RILEY GREENE OF I SEE YOU SUNDROP FAME#god what didn't i see you sundrop do right. the characterization. the slow build up of dread throughout the entire fic. riley greene.#IT IS 106 CHAPTERS NOT INCLUDING A POSSIBLE FUTURE EPILOGUE#god sorry to the other two fics on my list but reading i see you sundrop broke my brain a little#the scenes with riley's mother. THE SCENES WITH RILEY'S MOTHER OH MY GOD#you can tell a fic is good when it gets you to give a shit about an oc that hard#their CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? WHICH IN TURN FED DIRECTLY INTO WILLIAM AFTON'S DEMISE?????#I AM DEAD. I AM DECEASED.#im rereading solar lunacy rn if you can't tell lol i went on a spree#fucking love the concept of sun not being completely isolated from moon and his illness god fuck#solar lunacy 🤝 i see you sundrop: we're gonna have some wild fucking takes on moon's illness in relation to sun#me: oh god thank god some good fucking food#and OBIWAN??? OF DAYSHIFT GO FIGURE FAME???#best oc side character i think. i want to see him and sun just go at it for an hour shooting the shit#don't really have much else to say on dayshift go figure right now cuz its on SUCH a cliffhanger#that's kind of taking over my mind rn idkwettl#i could go on for hours about i see you sundrop though. that fic grabbed me by the throat and threw me down the stairs#binged that shit in two days#sun mentions having a crush on riley once and it's never mentioned again and that kind of fucks actually#the other two are romance fic and they're REALLY GOOD AT IT OH MY GOD#solar lunacy. just in general. makes me blush so hard it's not funny#OH SPEAKING OF BLUSHING#THE MC IN DAYSHIFT GO FIGURE KEEPS GETTING FLUSTERED IT'S SO CUTE#dayshift go figure is more of a typical 'i am in love and refuse to acknowledge it' fic it's so adorable
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hella1975 · 1 year
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going crazy about an oc again. like it's my fault
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okay i was gonna make a post about how migraines feel like taking constant minecraft damage except your health bar is infinite, BUT UH. @staff WHY IS MY DESKTOP DASH COMPLETELY FUCKING REARRANGED. PUT IT BACK THIS SUCKS
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oozeandgoo-art · 5 months
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#oc#haven#rex#monochrome#contents: a little raunchy for tumblr#doodle#really high effort one but it's about the shapes more than anything else lol#meme redraw#comic#i may color this. the original plan was to color it. however i spent all my energy for coloring on drawing an aftermath coda#im fond of this one. there's a lot happening in it#haven and rex are both dressed "up'' to annoy the other's plus-one minor enemy#<- specific au element#rex is wearing a weezer shirt because haven knows that'll piss off taran. haven is dressed up like rex's best attempt at a mid-00s surfer#because he knows felyx cant fucking stand haven and is also into buff masc dudes dressed in jeans with rhinestones and thinks it'll be funn#to put felyx in the Lustful Colander#(he is right)#haven's house is not actually a cool neat influencer home or whatever there's no like open floorplan white walls light bamboo floor bullshi#going on here. it's all like green and red granite tile and shit. the man has been around for a very long time he knows what kind of decor#he's fond of. those ARE fish tanks in the walls though. and a spiral staircase#the man has been around for a very long time. he does not give a shit if what he likes is 'tacky'#also when the one speechbubble he says gets weird it is because he is using a magic power and forcing rex to put his cigarette out. rex is#naturally kind of annoyed about this. it used to make haven wince when he put his cigs out on his hands so he keeps doing it every time thi#happens but he has not yet cottoned on to the fact that haven has fully stopped wincing and now just thinks it's a normal habit he has#and has no idea that it's specifically aimed in his direction#also haven has no issue with giving head but rex isn't aware of that. they don't communicate well#and what Rex is actually aware of mostly consists of 'asking him to bottom turned into a giant argument and then a physical actual fight#and he broke my jaw in like four places over it and it was awesome but i didnt get what i wanted' and kind of gave up on the subject#he couldve been getting his d!ck sucked this whole time and he didnt know it. so sad#lineart
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oleander-comic · 1 year
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Chapter Six
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