#im going to fail so fucking hard tmrw

[wavesmp3]

Sending a fake fic title your way: Rouge

rouge | haknyeon x reader | university au | a/n: this will probably make no sense, but the idea for this piece is like a story told through a collection of notes from a notes app... so yeah idk we’ll see 

FIRST DAY SCHEDULE   - phys 2211 w/ lab @ 8:15 (rip)  - psyc 1102 @ 11 (changmin’s in this class!)  - math 1554 (linear algebra) @ 2:45 (sucks that this a required class for my major :/ )

REMINDER: ice cream social fundraiser thing for kappa sigma rho @ 5 (why is changmin dragging me to thissss!)

UNTITLED NOTE ju haknyeon (from the social thingy and in the same linear section as me)  CHANGMIN GOT ME HIS NUMBER 123-456-7890 changmin also got me the number of that cute guy ;)  098-765-4321

REMINDER: studying with haknyeon tmrw for linear at student center @ 3

REASONS TO DROP LINEAR!  - sigurn is the WORST prof  - i hate the class  - i might fail   - i did fail the first quiz  - i hate the class  - it’s hard !! REASONS TO NOT DROP LINEAR  - i’ll have to take it eventually   - haknyeon

REMINDER: last day to drop classes is today 

REASONS TO NOT DROP LINEAR (CONT.)  - haknyeon said to stay  (well guess im stuck)

REMINDER: movie date with dude from kappa on friday !

UNTITLED NOTE trying not to get my hopes up for this date but... i’m really excited  lol

NOTE TO SELF never go on dates with stupid no-show frat boys again

REMINDER: stop wallowing from one bad date that didn’t even happen and go study with haknyeon for linear before you fail 

SHOPPING LIST  - bananas  - ice cream  - ramen   - ramen  - ramen  - bread  - flowers (for myself cause fuck it)  - milk  - cucumbers  - pasta  - chips  - present for haknyeon for being the sole reason i didn’t fail the last linear exam  - dip for the chips  - avocados 

THINGS TO DO MORE OFTEN  - taking time for myself  - calling mom  - saying no  - bubble baths  - hanging out with haknyeon outside of studying for linear

UNTITLED NOTE i hate school. i dont want to studyyy. i hate school. i hate This school. i hate my major. i should switch. i really really really dont know what i want to do with my life. like at all. i hate all my classes. i should drop out. no but actually. i should drop out. should i switch to an comp sci major or industrial design. i hate physics. i seriously hate--LMAO WAIT THE MEME HAKNYEON JUST SENT ME KSJFBKGSJ

REMINDER: midterms (rip)

DREAM (11/9) i was back at high school. but then there was a fire drill. and we were all outside. and i was running cause i was being chased. and then i was at the bleachers. and then the one frat dude who stood me up sat next to me. and then the frat dude tuned into haknyeon. and then haknyeon held my hand. i remember smiling. i remember feeling warm.

UNTITLED NOTE fuck.  i like him dont i

REMINDER: study date at library with haknyeon REMINDER: it’s not a date REMINDER: invite someone else to study with us  REMINDER: dont be awkward around haknyeon

I. AM DRUNK@ gosh hakmyoen is soooooo xutteeee he said he waa gonns drop linear too but didnt cause me hehe two peas in a pad oe whatever the pgrase is  POT TWO PEAS IN A POT LMAOOO

FINALZ TO DO LIST  - learn an entire semester of content for psych  - study for physics  - take psych exam  - sleep   - pack things for break   - confess to haknyeon before you go

UNTITLED NOTE my stomach feels sick. he’s not gonna like me back :(  what if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore :((

---

REMINDER: date with haknyeon <3

[mellow-is-liveblogging]

might fuck around and make jojo character genderbends. disclaimer rq: im a trans person.

I just think genderbends are a good way to explore a character's relationship with their own gender and gender roles that are imposed on them by the society around them. how much does their gender expression matter to them? how do the different facets of it affect them? has their gender had a hard, concrete impact on their life?

let's take Josuke and the rest of the DiU cast as an example. I headcanon him to be a trans guy (projection go BRRRRR) (so his gender is something that preoccupies/preoccupied him quite a bit) and that he was failed by the Joestar genes. he ended up being 5'3-4, so his height used to be a bit of an insecurity of his. now he's started being more confident in his own body and owning his height and expressing himself in ways that can be perceived as feminine because he knows that doesn't make him any less of a man.

A genderbent Josuke (I'll just call her "Jojo" because I couldn't find any good names for her) would be a trans girl and to maintain her past height insecurity thing, she is pretty damn tall. but with time she accepts her height and becomes more confident, growing comfortable with expressing her gender in a way that's still traditionally feminine but still incorporating elements that can be perceived as masculine, knowing that doesn't make her any less of a woman.

But unlike Josuke and Jojo whose gender expression varies between their regular and genderbent selves, a genderbent Keicho and Okuyasu would remain basically the same, with only some extremely minor differences in body type (they would both still be tall and pretty buff) and with female school uniforms instead of male. I wouldn't see any point in their overall personality and major design characteristics changing.

Akira would remain as androgynous and sharp as he normally is, Koichi would remain short since height doesn't seem to be a major point of discomfort or insecurity in canon, Rohan would remain more or less unchanged and so would Tonio etc.

now Yukako is a real piece of work.

her genderbent self would even have a different stand. but I'm gonna get into that tmrw bc its fucking late

[cowboyjimkirk]

idk it's all just. a lot. and every day i feel like I do the same stuff and nothing changes and I don't feel real and the world doesnt feel real and theres so many things i want to change but I cant even clean my fucking flat how can I go to university or have a life. my parents dont even call me by my fucking name. it's been 9 fucking months. and i cant talk to them abt it bc we have never talked abt anything difficult cause its easier to just fucking ignore it and wait for it to go away. 1/?

but it doesnt fucking go away!!!! it just builds up inside me and they dont even fucking know. even the fave uncle when I went "i don't think abt uni bc i dont know if I'll be alive this time next year" was like "well thinking abt it is smth to work towards!" like maybe but i literally just want to be Not Here every single hour of every single day and I'm so tired of staying alive in a world that doesnt seem to want me to exist with parents who dont even fucking know who I am. 2/3

anyway. I have work tmrw. so I'm gna sleep. im safe! and i will be for this week at the very least but geah it's just. getting hard and I dont feel like anyone in my life is taking it seriously enough - trans anon (3/3)

this is hard and takes time and i wish i were there to help you through it, but sometimes you have to give your love to someone else. your family failed you. and it’s not that i think they’re incapable of change, but waiting around for them to realize their mistake is only going to bring more hurt because they’re going to keep disappointing you. 

i love you and other people love you and there are loads more who will love you even though you haven’t met them yet. i know that promise is useless because you need support now, but please, please know that you have a place in this world and that you’re loved. save your own love for your friends, for a new family, for people who are worth it.

are you still planning on seeing that therapist? have you reached out to your friends at all?

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)