#im jealous looking at them mannn

[inkz123]

Some Errink for @dreemurr-skelememer ^^💕 Love me some classic xmas mistletoe shippy art💕

Thank you @gyftmas2023 for arranging the event!👏💕🎄✨

[celestie0]

ok i thought i would like kai and god how wrong i was ahhaha

when that thing with soccer ball happened i thought that satoru tried to intentionally kick it in kai’s face to create some distance between them💀 him being jealous and overprotective the whole chapter was so hot omg how do u make him so hot. 

i really don’t understand what kai’s goal was with that whole “interview”?? i mean i do but couldn’t he just tell her directly hey you’re just going to need to suck someone off if u want to succeed and not have her go through all of that and embarrass her?? or was the embarrassment the point?? also can we talk about how scary it is to go to a bar with 3 men that are basically strangers and shady asf, like i knew something was going to happen the moment that guy made a remark “you’re going to learn so much under him”. if i were her i would have went with satoru after he had pulled her over lolz but u can see how angry she was at him that she decided to ignore the red flags just to spite him

and the end with satoru saying that he’s going to help her and that she’s enough really shows the difference between him and kai. i hope the last 3 chapters are full of fluffff cause our girl has been going through itttt but i also hope she does make him beg and grovel just because of how bipolar he has been acting.

overall great chapter and definitely worth the wait!!! 

omg dear reader i love how fkn real u keep it always 😭🤣 AND THE LENGTH of ur asks im always so sobbed to see it 😭💕 thank u for taking the time

OMG pls tbvh i thought of that being the case (gojo kicking ball to kai) but changed my mind in the end loool but nah he was just distracted seein them tgthr. and aaa yea he was in overprotective mode this whole chap he just cant help getting involved w her 😭😭

yea i thought a lot ab kai’s motives in this chapter. he clearly likes/was attracted to her since the beginning, but when she rejected his kiss, he realized there’s not rly much to be built there (or in his mind she doesn’t “put out” easy 🙄),, so she lost favor w him and he pretended to look out for her just to be spiteful after that. i guess i liken it to guys that are only nice to girls if they’re attracted to them and/or provide them w something like sex or attention. i think in ch8 he was genuinely looking out for her (albeit not very compassionately), but after she rejected his kiss, he was like meh idc to be careful ab this anymore. but also, i think he himself didnt realize that she is pretty capable and actually has a decent resume/shot at the dreams he gave up on, so the more he learned ab it, the more insecure he became ab his own goals and also her rejection of him, and then bam he felt compelled to embarrass her (grade A asshole). but also, he got her hopes up w a decent sounding job, just to crush em, which he knew would add to the pain

and yea i think her red flag radar was goin off the whole time w kai and her friends but mannn i think she just was rly desperate given everything going on 😔 and yea i mean satoru was always gonna keep an eye on her for sure regardless, but she was angry w him, he was hurt by her, just not a good environment for mutual support and care to occur lmfao. ur so right tho that wld be such a terrifying situation to get yourself into

and i knowwwww reader went thru so fkn much this chapter i felt so bad 😭 but yeah there will probs be more than three chapters haha cuz i have a lot more stuff to cover, but it’s def satoru’s turn to obsessively pine over her lmao.

THANK YOU DEAR FOR THE ASK IM SORRY FOR MATCHING IT W AN EVEN LONGER ONE but your comments just spark sm of my thinking cells haha. hope to see you in the next one <333 💕💕💕

[tdotsspot]

IT’S A NEW YEAR B*TCHES

I seriously don’t think I’ve EVER been this damn happy to start a new year. Actually, I haven’t. I’ve NEVER been this happy to close a year out. To reflect on everything that happened, and while 2017 wasn’t like, THE most horrible year of my life personally or even really that much but, it was a CRAZY year all around. 

I’m sure I’ll forget a lot but just off the top of my head:

Trumps bitch ass. I’m still here like, maybe that was a dream, right? Everything that’s come with Trump. The lies, the embarrassment of this country, this ridiculous ass tax break that crushes the middle class, and happy makes the extra extra rich, even richer. There’s literally at least 10 breaking news stories everyday with his ass, so just watch CNN and figure out how fucking stupid he’s making America. However, a plus would be that it’s the most informed in politics I’ve ever been in my entire life, and it’s brought me out to vote other than the presidential 

The inexplicable amount of racism, sexism, hatred. Club Pulse.....so sad. The airport shooting, wtf. Some of that footage still freaks me out. Can you even imagine???? Going out for a fun night with your friends. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GONE PARTYING WITH YOUR FRIENDS without a SINGLE worry other than a hangover. And your lovers, friends, family......dead. Traveling. Jesus. Dame and I travel all the time. I can’t even imagine trying to find my luggage and seeing people falling beside me over some bullshit. It’s heartbreaking. Freakin Vegas, damn I almost forgot about that. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW THE HELL DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN. I’ve personally been to Vegas three four times. I’ve passed that area many times and like....wtf. 

And of course.....there’s the probably 74 life lessons I learned in 2017. Here are some of my favorites!!!!

*Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t. AKA you cannot please everyone, you really can’t. Even the people you WANT to please, you can only partially please. So basically, do what you feel is best.

ALSO I NEED TO FOLLOW UP ON MY ONE DAMN NEW YEAR FOCUS, DISCIPLINE. I started this post on the 30th, its the 4th lmao. 

But i just got off the phone with my friend and just talked to my HUSBAND, since you know, I got married this year and it was super fuckin fly. And said FUCK ALL THIS PRETTY SEAN CARTER SHIT NIGGA HOV.

Listen to me when i say “bam” literally LITERALLY speaks to my soul. ‘just set your price and live your life my nigga!’ for real. RESPECT YOURSELF. I realized how I’m now learning I’ve played myself for pennies before. How I’ve let people take advantage bc I’m not a total bitch. But I’ve also realized being a female in my work work, hell is ANY work world, if you don’t HOLD YOUR OWN people will try you. 

NOT THIS YEAR MY FRIENDS. Idgaf WHO you are to me, I'm not with the shits. If that means I lose some ‘friends’ I’m actually totally ok with that. I’ve also realized shit, I barely like anyone anyways, so let me tighten my circle, or really, tighten how I spend my time. I have people in my life for 100 different reasons, and I never want to actually burn bridges, but at the same time.....if youre not on the same wave as I....well carry on.

I don’t want to hear about your excuses as to why your life sucks, why your sig other sucks, why your job sucks....if your not bothering to REALLY do shit. (as I stop my edits to finish this post) but thats ok.

Oh yeah, back to what I learned.

I learned also that I get WAY too friendly and trusting with people before getting to know them. WAY too damn trusting. And that’s my fault. No one really gives a damn about you, even those who say they do. I mean, they MIGHT but at the end of the day, it’s YOUR life, and when you think about that.......

I learned that weddings are stressful AF and even though the end result was BOMB, i still think I would’ve been ok eloping in vegas and having a wild story to share. Nonetheless, what I really learned during that process, is who actually has your back. Who’s phony, who’s fake. People I was cool AF with FUCKED me over, people I had really low expectations surprised me. 

I learned that a fake christmas tree is actually winning. 

I also learned that I really want to move out of Philly. PHILLY you’re doing WAY too much these last 2-4 years and its really pissing me off now. Also, that this city is RUDE AF for no damn reason and mean and petty.com.

I learned I have to do better at letting go, and part of that is not taking the responsibility of other peoples BULL SHIT. When you know that someone is just on their BS and throw some shit towards you, no matter HOW fucking corny, let it go like frozen. Half the time people can’t deal with their own truths, and they’d rather just make someone else miserable. Know your audience, and big them farewell if need be.

I’ve also learned that people are jealous of me. And it really makes me laugh. People swear my life is easy breezy cover girl because I work from home and for myself. ummmmm so the fk what???? lol I swear people think I sit on my ass all day “oh IM sorry I have work today” “ummm ok? so do i bih” But I’ve really REALLY realized that people just don't get it. It makes me laugh. And just FYI just because I have control over my time, doesn’t mean I have free time. I allocate it as I see fit, because I fucking can. Because I took a crazy leap of faith and said fuck working and being dead inside. And because I believe in myself and luckily the two people I love the most believe in me too.

I learned that OH ha. I learned when traveling to a third world country........research more. I’ll just leave it there. Cuba was still dope but like.....wow. I still don’t look at certain chicken meals without wanting to throw up.

Idk mannn, just set your price and live your life.

Don’t deal with the shits this year.

Tdot, out.  

[jessiiboo]

7, 14, 17, 24, 27, 50, 56, 61, 68, 97 :)

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? deff there smile or eyes 

14. What’s your favorite movie? so hard but probably big daddy by adam sandler lol 

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? hmm 

24. What last made you laugh? i laugh all the timee um probably just a second ago when i was looking at videos in my phone of how dumb i am lmao 

27. What turns you on? aw mannn ummm…hickeys lol but reassurance, respect, someone you could have deep conversations with. being yourself.

50. Do you get jealous easily? depends on the situation i think more so protective of whats mine. 

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? deff extrovert but i do tend to tend to be to myself at times 

61. Do you believe in soul mates? FUCK YES and i do believe soul mates as in friends too and you can have a few of them. some are just deeper then others 

68. How long was your longest relationship? i tend to go for the wrong ones, but i been working on that. anyway 6months no title but other then that like 3-4 and i only been in 2 with a title. 

97. Describe yourself in one sentence. im a pretty laid back person, that just goes with the flow of life.. i take nothing for granted and never judge. i tend to fuck around a lot but can also be serious. i would consider myself weird,silly,random,hopeless romantic define normal bc fuck normal lol (more then one sentence) 

[therecoveringcatho-holic]

mannn.. life is just getting so much better!!! i just have to share where i'm at y'all bc ive been pretty excited about who i'm becoming bc i'm actively working on my spirit and who i am thru Christ.

first off - i'm fortunate for past, current and future *pain* bc it's brought me many blessings and will continue to bring me more.. just watch. it's just all about perspective and mines slowly but surely turning around! 💕 pain is a blessing bc without it we wouldn't know joy & we wouldn't be able to help others with similar problems!! i def struggle with my own share of health issues, a lot more at 31 than i ever wanted to have but i gotta be realistic about it: i treated my mind, body and spirit like a trash can off and on for the better part of a decade, i have trauma that i wouldn't dive into - like for real, for real - until 2 years ago or so bc i kept wanting to mask it. all that did was make it fester and then i projected it on others so what should i expect you know?? i used to complain constantly that 'life is not fair' and until very recently, i couldn't turn that around in my head and look at it positively .. like I AM ACTUALLY GLAD it's not bc if it was fair then i should have died yearssss ago.. one way or another esp if you look at it from a scientific standpoint. i may not know what my purpose is in life y'all but it's not my job to figure that out, it's my job to trust The Lord and His plan for me even if it doesn't always make sense to me. He is a God beyond my understanding and letting Him run the show makes life a lot better. we're not meant to have it easy but we weren't designed to make it so hard on ourselves or others either. He provides us the tools, it's just a matter of if we choose to use them or not. we all struggle so let's help each other out but the right thing is usually not the easy one so be proud of yourself when you make good decisions, no matter how small. the small things become big things; choices become habits -- that can be good or bad so make it a good thing 😘

one main problem i've always struggled with is consistency, esp when it comes to obeying The Lord. i am finally aware that my behavior does NOT affect Gods love for me bc He's an unconditional, loving God but my behavior dictates how much easier or harder life becomes for me.. and it's a daily thing y'all but it is for a lot of people, not just me. i just know that when i impulsively react to somebody or something, my

m o u t h is the first to go 😬😏SOOOO now im pretty good at waiting it out and if i think the same thing 2 mins later or so, you bet i'm gonna say it bc i'm blunt like that and i don't care to sugarcoat my thoughts BUT i also don't have to be hateful/disrespectful about it.. so that's been a turn around, for sure! 🙏 most people have a filter and i seem to lack one so i'm trying to develop one.. haha, it's funny but it's not at the same time.. actually it's been quite debilitating, really. my impulsivity and my mouth have burnt a lot of bridges in my life. not everybody or everything deserves a reaction and i don't need to waste my energy on things that arent my business -- and huge surprise here guys -- there is a LOT of stuff that is not my business so i take my nose out of it now 😜. i thrived off the drama and chaos for so long bc i didn't wanna look inward at myself and work on what was actually wrong -- which was me and my spirit. i am blessed for awareness and personal perspective.. it is everything.

ive been going back to AA and someone mentioned that theyve been praying for people that they have issues with, don't like or whatever the case may be and it's been helping them change their reaction/perspective towards that individual. at the end of the day, people are gonna do what they're gonna do but the way i choose to respond to it says everything about me, not them. that's why i love "The Four Agreements" book so much -- seriously life changing bc it's helped me realized that like i had so much displaced anger for so long and made it about everybody else and "what they did to me" , how "i'm not like everybody else", "why do they have a career / family / house and i don't?" WHATEVERRRR blah blah blah 😑 when at the end of the day, it had nothing to do with them. i was unhappy with myself, pissed that i got "cursed" with alcoholism and depression, sleep issues, etc. so instead of looking at it my difficulties as strengths and blessings, i had my own definition of what successful, happy people looked like or what they had and i was straight up mad and jealous of y'all. like how dare y'all have it so easy, right?! 🙄 omg hahaha how delusional is that!!! NOBODY has it easy!!! we all have something man and just because others may not see it doesn't mean it's not there!!!

"be kind.. for we are all fighting a battle others know nothing about." amen!!

my life has turned out to be nothinggggg of what i thought it was gonna be .. and i'm at a place of acceptance about it now and what a blessing it is to feel at peace more often than not. i think the real definition of serenity is when you stop wishing you had a different past and appreciate what God trusted you to go thru bc He knew Y O U could handle it 🥰

my alcoholism has about damn killed me but i'm resilient and ive been able to help others who battle my demon too; my depression has helped me understand deep sadness and how not running away or being scared of somebody bc of that can really change another persons life for the better.. one conversation can literally save somebody's life so don't underestimate what it means when someone disabled from depresssion reaches out to you bc you could be a life changer to them, i know this from experience. sleep issues suck but i've had a lot of deep, thought provoking conversations at 3a, ill tell ya that! but lately i sleep better bc i'm getting the garbage out of my soul and giving myself some grace. i'm blessed to not hold on to people who left me during my darkest hour bc they weren't meant to see me grow and to take part in my joy now.. it's all how you look at it!! i tried holding on to soooo many people for so long and now i just feel free of that negativity .. and i'm sure some people feel the same about me these last few years.. i was very toxic to some people so they were right to let me go as well. there's always two sides to everything y'all -- like be blessed for those who have let you down!! now you have room for people who are loyal and worth your damn time!! but as i just mentioned, i had to look in the mirror though and humble myself bc at one point or another, i was "that person" on more than one occasion that let somebody down and perspective on that is key to moving forward and not hurting somebody like that again. hurt people hurt people and i was the queen of that. when i get what i feel is a proper amount of time under my belt, i have so many amends to make that its quite.. sick, really. in the 5 years i've been in and out of AA, ive only been told to F off and/or burn in hell twice after trying to make an amends so that's better than i deserve lol most have been receptive of my amends but this will be the second round for some of those same people and i don't expect the same forgiveness i got the first time bc i don't deserve it. i'll also be frank with you .. some people i don't want to make amends to bc i don't feel they deserve it so clearly i still have work to do on my heart and hopefully thru the program and in time, i will feel differently but right now that's honestly how i feel.

to sum it all up, here are some things that help me:

-if you have to hide it, don't do it. -chaos always proceeds change.

-people will treat you with as much respect as you show yourself (thank you Lord for helping me with this one!!)

-validation may come from other people but that's just temporary. if you ain't happy in YOUR heart, with who YOU are.. check your morals and standards my dear! it doesn't matter if the entire world thinks you're great -- you need to KNOW & BELIEVE you are and that begins with the belief system you set for yourself!

- the saying "one foot in front of the other" goes a long way.. act blessed and you'll become blessed; no matter how stupid it sounds in your head, talk kindly to yourself until you believe it -- affirmations work, i swear!!! most importantly, show others grace so you'll eventually show yourself some 💕

i am a sinner but i am not my mistakes. my alcoholic demon is strong but God is stronger.. and thru Him, so am i. without my community from TN to NC to GA, my friends, my family of choice, my medical team and The Lord God, id be an empty shell of a person still at the bottom of a bottle at all hours of the day wanting to die every second i was breathing.. yes, it got that bad more times than i can count so THANK YOU to everyone who has given a shit about me and this crazy life i've had!!! once i realized that roughly 10% of my life is whats happened to me and came to accept that 90% of my life were problems that i created myself, was when i was able to become grateful for all the problems i DONT have & blessed that although some bridges are forever burned, there are many that are not!!! if i continue to act right, i have beautiful opportunities to improve myself and my relationships, the most important one being with God.

i know ive got some haters but i don't view them as enemies anymore bc i don't like harboring anger in my heart anymore .. it doesn't feel good and it only speaks to my own personal insecurity when i've talked poorly of somebody in the past. ive never quoted tupac in my life but there's a first time for everything 🤣 "i want you to eat, just not at my table." to the people i don't like and to those that don't like me, let's pray for each other. everybody deserves happiness and to thrive in their own way.. i'm not gonna be apart of some people's lives and BOTH of us are better because of it! God, i loveeee acceptance!!!! 🙌

above all.. do & be YOU, boo boo!

if it matters any, i think you're pretty great! 😋😙

as alwaysss, much love from knox & prayers to friends in mid tenn!! hope everyone is safe!! 🙏

xoxo

kels