#im jusr rambling tho

[gudriin]

.

[greenieflor]

I love working from home but the software we use for the phones is so finicky and seems to hate me in particular

[redrum-district]

EITHER WAY

UPdate on me under the cut bc this will be rambly(? Is that a word?? Anyways)

Beyond that i'mma try to get to requests maybe tonight

But

I'm alive lmfao, and thriving

I've been doing pretty ok as of late, tho rn i'm questionin shit abt my mental health like

Thinkin i've got quiet bpd rather than bipolar, but if i do i like

Manage it extremely well or somethin bc like i don't feel emotion much, n its the chronic emptiness like 90% of the time, lack of identity, dissociation, and similar

But oh boy that 9% is Intense Emotions and mood swings that alternative within MINUTES under extreme stress and then that rare 1% is the Anger Spiral. Tho it's usually provoked outta me (ion hurt anyone tho beyond maybe yelling and cryinng, but i apologize after qnd it's only happened once in like 2020 or somethin), or like at myself (usually destructive, i ruined a really cheap bookshelf outta frustration. I don't ever break anyone's stuff, or anythjng expensive i own thank god, but its RARE i get to that point ionly remember 2 instances of destroying my things beyond tearing out art journal sheets or hurting myself like 99.9% of the time, but even then i've learned to manage it)

Even then like

It's like my emotionless is the baseline and theres jusr expressed emotions on top of it like a mask, or the extreme lack of identity and severe dissociation

Bein mentally ill is exhausting vro

And i got diagnosed with bd in 1 visit and it never sat right w/ me

Either way i'mma try to pursue the bpd questioning bc im like

Oh fuck why is that so relatable

EITHER WAY

Life is ok, work sucks ass, but i am striving for improvement always despite my mental illnesses

Bc i deserve to treat myself with kindness.

[faerieorgremlin-moved]

I feel really alone right now

[painted--constellations]

bones are very cronchy right now.

[fire-fist-stims-archived2020]

the ominous clicking noise is gonna now, pretty sure it was just an electric fence tho my dad wants me to tell everyone we saw two red eyes and what sounded like a record being played quickly before a big figure flew off. he wants me to tell y’all we saw moth man (we didn’t) and now he’s trying to convince me it was bigfoot or the goatman...

[othercrossee]

Class.....