#im just trying to keep chickens let me buy the fucking house!!!!!

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Share the dream babe. I sleep like a rock, don’t dream, and need to live vicariously.

damn that’s tough, I don’t dream a lot either but this was from a quick nap LMAO

OKAY I just want to say this was a DREAM nothing more. This shit’s not possible but bitch can a girl dream. @tvrgvryen babe you wanted to hear it so, here it is 💛🥲

SO I was with TGC in like those old shopping centres like first built in the early 2000s (very specific) and we’re just walking around like a normal couple, you know holding hands and shit. Then there was like this Blockbuster and we went to pick up some films to watch together, and we noticed this man like advertising something and all these couples heading to the back where he was. Tom was like “let’s go see babe” like begging me to go with him, and I eventually cave in.

This is where it gets weird…

So the product the guy was selling was literally a video or this tape that if you watch it you’re guaranteed to have the BEST LIKE UNEARTHLY sex ever. And Tom sees all these people just buying it, and then the guy goes “it’ll make the guys have fun & your girlfriend very fertile.” And me being me, I was like “Tom this is a scam” trying to drag him by his arm, but he was like let’s try and immediately buys it.

We then race back to our apartment and Tom immediately puts the tape on, I’m trying to put shit away but he lifts me over his shoulder and puts me down on the couch, right when the tape starts playing.

YALL WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED THIS NEXT PART WHEN I WOKE UP.

this shit was literally just all these like boring, 90s type of ads playing of food, like chocolate and sweets and chicken. It was so fucking weird but we both just sat and watched thinking it would be over soon and that’s when the real shit happens. The longer we waited we got into this like trance. 5 mins later, I look over at Tom and he looks back at me…

WHEN I TELL YOU I LEAPED ONTO HIS LAP, IM TELLING YOU I FUCKING LEAPT.

I was grinding so hard on his pants and he’s desperately trying to undo everything. We’re just fucking making out, tongues and all, pulling his hair and his fucking motorboating my tits.

Finally we get his pants off, and I must’ve been wearing like a really short dress, and he literally rips apart my thong and shoved his dick so fucking deep into my cunt, I swear I felt something for like a split second bitch. Anyways he’s like DESPERATE, like literally thrusting up into me, his cock fucking THROBBING. And it was weird it was like I could see us fucking from afar, like out of body.

And I can see him grabbing my ass cheeks. But his fucking groans….. ughhhhhh like it was DEEP BITCH.

Then he pins me down onto the couch so I’m laying and he’s on top & he’s still fucking raw dogging it. I’m literally moaning and screaming his name, and I’m pretty sure I called him Aegon but like he wasn’t phased funnily enough.

Then like it spans to him fucking me up the wall, like my back is against it, and he’s keeping me up with his cock still in me and his thighs supporting me and his arms holding my thighs. Still fucking raw dogging it.

Mind you those fucking ads and cheerful songs are playing in the background, it gave me like those sex pollen fanfic vibes.

ANYWHO it sort of like time jumped and he’s back on the couch like finally coming to senses and it must’ve been a full week of this non stop sex, cause our house plants look wilted and the food that was out was off now. Like he even slept with his cock in me, tiny thrusts during the night, like a dog HAHAHAH.

And I took like a pregnancy test cause I came out of it earlier than he did, so when I saw he was back to his normal self. I sat beside him and was like “I’m pregnant”, and he was just nodding and smiling, his hand gripping my thigh, and he goes “it actually worked”.

AND THAT WAS IT!!!! Didn’t even get to the domestic part 😭😭😭😭

I couldn’t take myself serious when I woke up 🤭

PS THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE IN THE DREAM JUST FYI

[rebelwrites]

You Will Be The Death Of Me

Chibs Telford x Reader

Requested by @I-just-read-stuff // I saw that your requests are open, is that correct? If so I would like to ask for a request of Chibs with prompts 2 and/or 4. Where the reader is either chibs' lover or child (your pick) and he would'nt give the reader a knife, so the reader stole one and ended up in prison. I hope that you like this one, but no pressure to write it ;) I love all of your writings so much 😍 Have a nice day!

Prompts: “Well this is a nice change of scenery” “it’s a prison cell” “I was being sarcastic” and “No I am not buying you a knife for your birthday” “but it’s pretty” “no”

Join The TagList Here 💜 // Chibs Telford Masterlist

“DAAAAAAAAAADDDD”

“Oh shit, someone hide me” Chibs laughed ducking behind the bar. “This shit sounds like its gonna be expensive”

Shaking your head as you walked into the club house as you saw him duck behind the bar, he didn’t think you saw him but he wasn’t as quick as he used to be. And plus the same thing happened everytime you shouted him. Walking over to the bar you put both of your palms face down on the counter pushing yourself up so you were laying over it.

“Quit hiding old man” You laughed as he looked up. “I need to ask you something, about my birthday, you said if I had any ideas to let you know”

“Like I said it sounds like it is going to hurt me wallet” He scowled standing to his feet.

“Depends what you class as expensive” You smirked unlocking your phone, showing him the knife that you had found and fell in love with. “I want this”

“Absolutely not, I am not buying you a knife for your birthday”

“But it’s pretty, it's like a rainbow ”

“The answer is still no” he said, trying not to cave at the puppy dog eyes you were giving him. “I stand by what I said, you are not having a gun or a knife. End off. Jax is teaching you to fight that is all you need”

“Jheeze I am not a child anymore” You pouted “I’m 18 in a couple of weeks”

“And the answer is still no”

“Urgh you aren’t any fun” You glared, shoving your phone back into your pocket

“I am your father, I’m not meant to be fun” He laughed.

“Fine, I shall find Hap” You huffed, spinning on your heels, smirking as you went to find Happy, he would buy you a knife, you knew it.

Chibs was hot on your heels as he followed you outside, as soon as he saw Happy he shouted across the lot.

“Don’t ye dare agree on getting her a knife or I will shoot you Happy”

“Oh my god dad, stop killing my fun” You groaned pulling a cigarette between your lips.

“Wait so your dad agreed to get you a knife?” Your best friend asked as you showed off the one you swiped from his draw before you left the house.

“No apparently he is being a responsible parent or some shit” You laughed taking a drag of your smoke “So I stole one of his, like I am basically the daughter of anarchy, I need a knife”

“You are gonna be in so much shit” She laughed, nudging your shoulder as she kept her eyes on the knife.

She just had to say the words, the moment she did you saw the flashing lights of a cop car parking in front of you.

“Fuck” You muttered tossing your smoke on the floor as Wayne stepped out of the car.

“Does your father know you are out Telford?” He asked as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“I’m a big girl Unser” You nodded, turning to your friend “Go before he puts cuffs on you, I kinda pissed him off last week”

“Let me know when you are home” she smiled before taking off.

Turning your attention to Wayne you smirked at him, probably wasn’t the best idea but you didn’t care.

“Come on get in the back and don’t make me put the cuffs on you”

“I’ve done nothing wrong” You groaned.

“You have a knife out so you know I kinda of have to arrest you, don’t make me put the cuffs on” He stated.

“Fine” You huffed jumping off the wall, trudging over to his car, climbing in the back seat. Chibs was going to kill you. He always did when Unser picked you up, luckily he never followed through on the charges so you didn’t have a record. Well not yet anyway. There was still plenty of time for that, you were Chibs’ daughter after all.

You didn’t know how much time had past but it must have been hours, that you were laying in this cell, and you were starting to get bored.

“I can’t believe you” Your dad’s voice boomed through the cell.

“Well I was bored and thought this is a nice change of scenery” You scoffed.

“It’s a prison cell Y/N” he scolded “I can’t believe ye stole my knife”

“I was being sarcastic old man, keep up and if you agreed to buy me a knife I wouldn't have had to steal one” You sassed walking to the bars of the holding cell. “You gonna leave your only daughter locked in a cell like an animal or are your going to get Unser to let me go”

“What am I going to do with ye aye?” He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I dunno dad, maybe get me out of here and buy me some chicken nuggets, Im starving” You smirked.

“You are going to be the fucking death of me” He laughed “Ye know that?”

“I know” You winked “but you might want to get some hair dye for that grey hair”

“I am only grey because I have a delinquent fucking teenager” He huffed ruunning his hands through his hair before going to find Unser.

“You fucking love it really just like you love me”

[diobrando]

Idk how to do a read more on mobile anymore lol but uhhh idk keep scrolling since this is about my dogs

So I've got 2 senior German Shepards and their lifespan is between 10-14 years and ofc less if theyre boys (which they are) and one of my dogs is already 14 (if im remembering correctly and we got him for my uncle back in 2008) and the other dog we have no real way of knowing his age bc he was a stray that my brother forced me to take care of... it was a whole thing bc the dog wouldn't leave bc my brother kept giving him food and water and there's this ledge at the back of our property that had tons of vines and other plants ANYWAYS the point is that he would sleep there during the day and animal control never saw him when they spent 2 weeks in our neighborhood collecting the strays which my brother took as a sign to just transition the dog from there into our actually property and it was very annoying because we already had the dog my uncle no longer wanted (he originally said he'd take the dog bc his daughters agreed to help but they never did so the dog was very underweight by the time we moved into our house and my uncle saw how healthy he looked when they went to el Salvador for a month and we took him in so thats how ownership was transferred lol) but anyways I spent the first year pissed bc this dog was bigger than our first dog and he would steal his food, attack him, and ofc the cleanup was so hard bc we still hadn't covered up the dirt patches and they'd both make crazy messes... they get along fine now like they def love each other and I love them both since we've had them for so long now but they're so old... champion has his off days where he won't eat and he'll sometimes have accidents in my room (he doesn't get in trouble I know its not on purpose) and he has trouble with the steps out front and even falls into the gap between the fence :/ he's my 14 year old and he also has advanced arthritis so I try to be extra gentle and accommodating with him by buying him comfy beds and taking things extra slow and helping him get up (when possible bc I never know if he's going to bite me for it and I dont mind if he bites my hand but in some positions I just dont want to risk him feeling uncomfortable and lashing out and getting my neck or face bc god knows that would hurt a lot since both my dogs have strong bites) geez ok and ny other dog I estimate is btwn 11-13 hes so aggressive and territorial which is a major problem. He is not really allowed off the property bc I cant control him or hold him back if he lashes out (and I have been on the receiving one of his soft bites and let me tell you those things hurt so fuxking bad and it wasn't even that serious like yeah it tore the skin and I bled but it was just the surface and it was so funny bc he immediately knew he fucked up and went slack) but yeah he also has arthritis and its not as bad as my older dog but it will most likely get worse and he also has a weird growth on his chest between his 2 front paws and its like.... im already spending my money on their dog food (I wanna say roughly $60 a bag and $30 for a few packs of chicken or champion won't eat at all and this is every month) and I told my brother to consider what he wants to do with shaggy bc he is old and its most likely a tumor and idk if its gonna be worth it to spend thousands esp for him when he's the only one in his household that works and he has to support his wife, 2 kids, and the animals they have (yes my brother moved out and left me with that beast of a dog and he NEVER comes to visit them anyways so why put up a front like youre concerned... this is just like the new years eve incident when my dog ate a huge block of rat poison and I saw him finishing it and i had to immediately induce vomiting and then when he said he'd go to the vet with me he wanted me to wait 2 hours like ????? HELLO? HE ATE POISON!!! and then I had to spend the night at the ER bc my brother and mom had a stupid fight and she tried to kill herself)

so idk if it would be the right move to put them down soon or to let them die at home (probably in my room bc that is where champion spends most of his time when someone is at home) and it doesn't even matter which dog dies first (naturally it'll probably be champion) the other dog is going to be so depressed

[risottoneroo]

hey there stranger, pt 9

a/n: im not sorry. yall are gonna be sad

warnings: jealousy, domestic fighting, infidelity

You got up and walked after him, slipping out of your shirt and skirt. The bathroom was as open and airy as his bedroom, with the same floor-to-ceiling windows next to a huge tub. 

Wes was sitting on the edge, running his fingers under the water. He was naked, and moonlight was shining off the planes of his muscles. You ran your finger up the curve of his spine, and he shivered. “Shit, scared me.”

You smiled. “Is the water warm?”

He nodded and stood, kissing you gently. “I figured we could keep the lights off. The moon is bright.”

You smiled and slipped into the warm water. “Sounds good.”

He slipped in beside you, and you leaned into him with a soft hum. You glanced down into the water, putting one hand on his leg. “What are the scars on your calves from?”

He shifted a little and coughed softly. “My brother cut off my legs when I was trying to get him to see reason.”

You nodded. “And who-”

He smiled. “Jolyne sewed them back on.”

You sat up, frowning. “Jolyne isn’t a nurse. How-”

He looked away. “It- It was temporary. Until we saw a doctor.”

You sighed softly. It still didn’t seem right, but who were you to question it?

The next few weeks were blissful. You slept over at his house whenever you could, and he gave you your space when you wanted it. He was a frequent customer at your work, and always visited you on your breaks to bring you lunch or buy you coffee. You had only been dating a month, but your heart was full enough to burst. 

Jotaro was back in town, and he was over at the apartment frequently to help Jolyne. She was working on a Physics degree, and she needed help with math. Jotaro was the only one she’d let help her, even though the rest of you had science degrees. You were still working on your doctorate in oceanography, but you’d had to pause due to lack of funding. 

But you’d taken calculus courses, so it was easy to shout answers at Jolyne. You usually did it faster than Jotaro, who preferred to let her find her own way. You also enjoyed how irritated it made Jotaro, who usually shot you a dirty look. He still scared Hermes, but he didn’t scare you.

You noticed it first when you’d come over to help them solve a particularly tricky derivative. Wes was in the kitchen, making fried chicken, and you’d been helping him until Jolyne called you. She was hunched over her textbook, Jotaro sprawled next to her on the couch. He was taking up the whole couch, and she was in the corner. It was a small couch, but still. You nudged his leg. “Hey, big boy. Let me sit.”

He sat up and pulled his legs in, one hand tipping his hat down. “Sure.”

You sat next to him and reached across for Jolyne’s textbook. She set it in her father’s lap, and you both leaned over to it. You rambled for a bit about the different aspects of the book, until you gestured too far and brushed your hand over Jotaro’s thigh. 

He tensed a little and looked down at you, and you noticed his cheeks were flushed. You swallowed and kept talking, but Wes had seen it. The room felt colder suddenly. Jolyne swallowed, and winced. “My ears keep popping.”

You looked up. “Weird.”

Wes called to you, “Y/N, can you come make the sauce you always do?”

You nodded and got up. “Jolyne, you got it?”

She nodded back, grinning. Jotaro didn’t react as you left. When you got over to Wes, he pulled you into a rough kiss. You giggled and kissed back, and Jolyne shouted, “Get a room!”

You pulled back, gasping a little. “What was that for?”

He chuckled. “Just because I love you.”

His hands lingered on your waist as you got out the ingredients for your sauce. 

Jotaro was over at your place frequently, and you got to talking with him several times about his projects. When he told you about the starfish that had won him his own doctorate, you joked, “Should I call you Doctor Kujo instead?”

His cheeks turned faintly pink, and he swallowed. “Just Jotaro.”

You’d nodded. “Have you ever done any oceanographic surveying?”

Just as Jotaro began to answer, Wes had walked in the door to pick you up. You jumped up and kissed his cheek. “Jotaro was telling me about the coolest shit.”

Wes grinned, kissing you back and straightening his suit. “Oh. Cool.”

Wes was jealous of Jotaro. You knew that. You never considered how he’d deal with it, but it seemed like he’d about reached his breaking point. He dropped heavily into a chair, pulling you down into his lap. “So, Doctor Kujo.”

You settled onto his thighs, swallowing a little. This was too intimate for an everyday conversation. Jotaro looked between you two, his blind eye moving with his sighted one. Wes groaned. “The new scar is cool, but the eye is creepy.”

You gasped. “Wes, you can’t just-”

Jotaro chuckled. “He’s right.”

Wes’s jaw was set. He knew what he’d said was insensitive, but he couldn’t stop himself. “So, can’t the Speedwagon Foundation fix it?”

Jotaro shook his head. “No, they can’t. My eye was split, and they didn’t want to take it. It clouded over like this from scar tissue.”

You tried to shift, but Wes’s grip on you was strong. You pulled away from him. “Wes, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

He blinked. “Sitting with my girl.”

You pushed on his chest. “No, this is some fucked up power play. Let me go, you fucking prick.”

He did as you asked, but he looked angry. “It’s not my fault you’ve been flirting with him. Or that he’s been making eyes at you for as long as we’ve been together!”

You gritted your teeth, standing over him. “And you never thought to, I don’t know, talk to me about it? Rather than pulling this shit? He’s my friend’s dad! I couldn’t do that to her.”

Wes stood too, his eyes hard. “You’re not saying you weren’t flirting.”

You clenched your hands into fists. “You don’t trust me.”

Wes sighed loudly. “I didn’t say-”

You shook your head. “Don’t.”

You walked out, fuming. 

You sat on the steps in front of your building, the humid air hanging still and hot around you. You heard the door open and sighed. “Go home, Wes-”

A voice with slightly more bass cut you off. “I’m not Wes.”

Jotaro dropped onto the step next to you. “I’m sorry.”

You sighed. “I appreciate it, but believe me, it’s not your fault.”

He swallowed. “It is, I think. I-”

You turned to look at him. He was staring down at the pavement. You frowned. “What?”

He turned to look at you. “I know you said you couldn’t do that to Jolyne, but- Wes wasn’t wrong.”

You blinked, and he sighed. “I’m bad at this. I think you’re gorgeous. I always have.”

You flushed, too shocked to speak. He took off his hat, running his fingers through graying black hair. You breathed, “Your hair looks so soft.”

He flushed and looked back down. “I really do like you. You’re-”

You touched his cheek. “Jotaro, don’t. You know I- You know we can’t.”

He swallowed, and suddenly he was very close. His lips were inches from yours, and you could feel his hot breath. He bit his lip, his eyes flicking down to your lips and back up to your eyes. “I know, but-”

You kissed him before he could finish, holding his face in your hands. He grunted softly and kissed back. He was clumsy, but you could feel the need surging in him. His hands pulled you closer by your waist, closer until you were on his lap. You felt his cock against you, hot and hard in his pants, and you pulled back. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

You got up and put your hand on the door handle back into your apartment. “I’m sorry.”

You went back inside, and started climbing the stairs. Wes met you on the stairwell. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I don’t- I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so angry, and i was dumb. I-”

You sighed softly and kissed him. “It’s okay.”

He hugged you tight. “Okay.”

You put your head on his shoulder, your mind swirling. Things had just gotten a lot more complicated. 

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[thornsofdeath]

Five Nights at Rohan’s - chapter 1

this honestly started as a crackfic but now im deadset on making it good

>1k words

Summertime in Morioh was always something to look forward to. The beautiful clear skies and fun events always made up for the heat and humidity. Rohan was sitting on his porch drinking some sweet tea, his peace and quiet suddenly disturbed by the distant sound of boisterous laughter. He scoffs to himself. He thought that maybe today he could relax, but running into them in such a small town is bound to happen.

It was no secret that Josuke and Rohan loved to hate each other. From the day they met, they were rivals, no questions asked. Whether they had actual business with one another or were just passing by, some petty interaction was always inevitable. By the time Josuke, Okuyasu and Koichi got to his house, he was fixed to give the boys a greeting. “Oh~? If it isn’t Higashikata Josuke.” Rohan sneered.

“So there’s a scientist right? And- oh, hi Rohan- anyways he can turn himself into a pickle, koichi! Amazing!” Josuke didn’t even look in the artist’s direction as he barely acknowledged him. Rohan couldn’t tell if it was just to egg him on or if he actually cared more about fucking pickle rick than respecting his elders, but either way he was pissed.

“Oi, disrespectful much? Kids these days… Heaven’s Door!” he practically spat out. The white and gold stand manifested and gave Josuke the middle finger. Almost by miracle, Josuke gave in and nudged Okuyasu, whispering something. Suddenly, The Hand and Crazy Diamond appeared and were doing some flamboyant pose, both sporting middle fingers as well. Koichi just sighed. 

“Good afternoon, Rohan.” Koichi said, walking hesitantly to the others.

“Nice outfit you got there Rohan, haha.” Josuke chuckled while eyeing Rohan’s bold outfit of the day.

“Same to you. Who asked to see your cleavage?” Rohan shot back with a smirk. Josuke’s eyebrows were quick to furrow, but he made the recovery. 

“This guy did.” he said, snickering while elbowing Okuyasu. Confused grunting followed. While the highschool boys carried light conversation Rohan thought to himself. I’m off for the next week, why not have some fun. It’s always nice winning against pompadour anyways… Rohan cleared his throat and put his glass down. 

“I’d like to make a bet.” he said, intertwining his gloved fingers. They all had stopped talking to listen, how could they possibly pass this up?

“Oh? You’re asking for even more debt, Rohan?” Josuke said with a smirk. 

“I bet you three can’t stay over at my house for a whole night.”

“Too easy, i could stay at your dump for 5 nights if i wanted.” Josuke scoffed, Okuyasu giggled.

“Five then? You’re on. If you make it all 5 nights, I'll pay up. However, if you chicken out, you owe me 10,000 yen.” Rohan leaned in, interested in his investment. Oh boy, this is gonna be fun. 

Josuke threw himself onto his bed and punched in Koichi and Okuyasu’s numbers. 

“Can’t believe Rohan would make such an easy bet! Is he just trying to brag about his wealth? Either way, pack anything you think would keep us entertained, we’re in this for 5 nights.”

“If we’re staying for five nights.. How many pairs of underwear do I have to bring..?” Okuyasu pondered. 

“I’d invite Yuka but I’m not sure if she’d like the idea of going to an all boys sleepover at someone she doesn’t know’s house. I better give her the heads up at least.” Koichi said.

“Oi.. wouldn't it be priceless if we ended up scaring Rohan out of his own house?” Josuke laughed at his seemingly evil plan. 

7:00pm, and the boys were at Rohan’s doorstep, their stands holding several bags. A smug faced Rohan soon opened the door, welcoming them inside to the best of his feigned hospitality. “Josuke, Okuyasu, how do you prefer your tea?” Rohan chimed, after having sat them down at a table and shuffled away into the kitchen. He already knew how koichi liked his tea from past visits. After hearing their preferred way of drinking tea, rohan made 4 cups and sat at the table with them. 

10:00pm, the movie Jo Oku and Koi picked was rolling credits, and they were just chatting leisurely. Koi was getting tired, being the person he was, but Jo and Oku were adept night owls and insisted they don’t call it a day just yet. Rohan had been upstairs minding his own business.

“Oi, Okuyasu, did Rodney ever end up moving out of your town?” Josuke said, sitting upside down on a couch.

“No, he’s still there. I hit him with my racket over and over but he’s still there!” 

“Koichi, seriously, you’d love this game so much. Ooh- we can buy it for you with some of the bet money after we win!”

“Mm..” Koi hummed in response, reading a book. 

As he was about to flip to the next page, it vanished. So did his hand, the floor, and his friends. 

“Haa??? J-Josuke, where are you?? I’m scared of the dark!” okuyasu whined. 

“A power outage? Crazy Diamond!” Josuke opted to fix any messed up lighting system, but to no avail.

“Weird, nothing’s broken. Maybe that bastard Rohan is trying to scare us?”

“I dunno, but it’s working!” okuyasu cried out. 

“Guys, calm down. Use the light on your switch or something to look around.” Koichi suggested, being the IQ of the group. 

“Um.. okay, let’s see..” Josuke said, turning up his nintendo switch’s brightness and waving it around. 

“Everything looks normal, nothing weird- huh?” jo rubbed his rapidly widening eyes.

“Am i seeing shit right now or is that..?”

“Shut up! I’m already scared enough, don’t go makin’ shit up!” okuyasu whisper-yelled.

“I'm dead fuckin’ serious!! Look there!” josuke extended a pointing arm in the direction of the kitchen. 2 glowing lime green eyes were looking directly at the boys. 

“Isn't that just heaven’s door? Rohan, you can come out now..” koichi said, slightly annoyed. 

Suddenly the eyes disappeared. Okuyasu and Josuke were like a magnet, both scared but only one of them showing it. Koichi’s wide blue eyes darted around the room, trying to relocate the mysterious being. 

A dark chuckle rang from somewhere unknown in the house, and a chill ran up their spines.

The first night had began.

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333

[lonelyshrimp]

What happened with your roomies if you don’t mind me asking...?

 Yknow what I’m in a mood and they don’t know my tumblr (haha they think I’m a cisstraight girl lol) so let’s get into some shit. Imma put everything under a read more bc imma rant a bit and this is gonna get long.

TW: food, unsanitary (general things not being kept clean, typically bathroom and kitchen related), drug use, fighting, slurs

tl;dr if you dont feel like reading this beast:

They steal what food i dare leave out in the kitchen rather tan keep in my room

They slam doors excessively, fight, yell horrible things to each other, have friends over yelling at like 2 am (last night for example)

Leave the doors unlocked and open?? We cant even lock the front door anymore??? (Dw the doors to our rooms all have locks. If I’m in my room or out of the house, my door is locked)

Constantly throw around the r slur. Like. All the time. Including one person having called me it. Y i k e s

One person keeps smoking in the house even though i’ve asked numerous times (and even have a note on my door) asking people to please smoke outside, it gives me headaches. You are physically hurting me stop.

Don’t Clean Anything. The kitchen is a wreck. The toilets are constantly clogging, I Am In Hell.

For context: the house is a one story house divided into a main floor and finished basement. It’s a rooming house and the basement is largely seperate from upstairs. (They have a kitchen door that they keep closed and locked.) The stairs to the basement are split into two smaller flights, with a landing in between the floors. That’s where the side door is. The public spaces upstairs are the kitchen (connects to stairs), the hallway, and the two bathrooms (big main one, tiny water closet by the front door). The rest of the upstairs is split into five rooms. For comprehension sake, we’ll call my roommates: The Couple (M&F), A, T, and J.

Mmkay lets start with the least egregious and move our way up, shall we? Theft! Of anything and everything! No one can have anything out in the public areas if they actually care about it. It. Will. Get. Stolen. Now, I have a mini fridge and the second biggest room here, so I’m lucky in that 99% of my groceries, as well as all my other belongings, fit in my room. There’s just a wee problem: I don’t have a freezer. Not to fear, past naïve me thought, I’ll just clean out and use the locked freezer since I still have the keys for that fridge! (We have two fridges and food theft was a problem beforehand and so me and my friend who lived here cleaned out the second fridge to use as our own and kept it locked.) I decided to do this after I had bought myself some ice cream, wrote my name on the top, and put it in the main freezer. I go to have some ice cream later that week, I open the tub for the first time (as in I removed the seal holding the lid onto the tub) to find that someone eaten half the tub of ice cream while making it seem like it hadn’t been opened. I know it happened at home bc the spoon marks were clear as day and I have to walk 20 minutes back from the grocery store. That woulda melted by then (Also I would’ve noticed at the store that. The tub was hella lopsided??? And way too light???) So yea of course I’m ticked now, I spent 6 bucks on that bro like just ask or get ur own??? So I put it the other freezer, and for a while it’s fine. Next month I decide to treat myself to some frozen waffles and some chicken strips and come home to find that the hinges holding the locks onto the doors of the fridge were torn out of the fridge/freezer doors. Like. The screws were pried outta this metal door rendering the locks completely useless (to the point i wouldn’t even be able to put the hinges back on.) And the cherry on top?? My ice cream was gone!!! Hope u enjoyed it, asshole. So whatever. Fine. I put my food away and. a week later?? Im like “Man i could go for some waffles rn”. I bought 2 8 packs. One chocolate chip, one cinnamon (y’all i literally buy the cheapest ones Zehrs sells. 2,19$ a box y’all. not even eggos). Surprise surprise!! The entire box of choccy chip ones GONE. Mind u, i wrote my name on all of these boxes, as well as a very large “DO NOT EAT”. so i begrudgingly had a couple (note that, 2) cinnamon waffles and move on. A couple days later I go to have some more and. The waffles are completely gone. Out of a total of 16 waffles, ya boy got a solid 2. (It’s worth noting that there was a single waffle left, but at 0,27$ a waffle, I didn’t mind leaving the box on the table with a note basically reading “these are cheap af, buy ur own bitch”.) (I didn’t swear that much tho)

I’d add the bike to the list but i can’t confirm nor deny that one of my roommates stole my tires and seat off my bike (although M does work on bikes all the time so man idk.)

Next up: wow people here are l o u d. I’m talking slamming doors all the time, slamming things around, yelling, playing music wildly loud. It’s awful. Like. You can just. Close the door quietly? Stop slamming things around please? It’s awful because loud sudden noises make me panic and lemme tell ya, wakin up at eight am bc your a-hole roommate decided to slam the door eight times bc the front door is broken because someone took the border around the jamb off instead of fixing it so we can actually?? lock that door?? because it doesnt quite fit in the jamb and so the only wat to lock it was the chain lock and. someone took that too so thats fun :)))))). The side door isn’t that much better. We have a code lock and. No One Ever Locks It. Like. I’ll come outta room and?? It’s just open????? Close the door???????????

The worst, however, is the fucking fighting. The Couple love to argue all the time. and yell at each other and slam the doors or smashing shit and they yell pretty awful things to each other. Like. I’ve heard M call his gf some awful shit. It’s worse when they have people over too. The other day there were like. 14 cops in here bc of them at like 2 am. Cue me, 2 am, trying to watch a livestream and seeing like??? Six cop cars pull up????? Wh a t????? Not fun not good for my brain.

God and. What is with everyone and the r slur??? Like what?? there are so many words you can choose stop using that word. Like okay the other night someone?? took the dc adapter for the wireless modem and one of the dudes downstairs as well as the couple were looking to see if they had a compatible dc adapter and so i just decided to wait?? and i just spaced out a bit okay whatever i was lookin at the wall like i do and fuckin. the couple had a couple friends over and one of em was chillin between the kitchen and the hall and M yells out from his room “Hey don’t you feel weird with this creepy ass bitch standing next to you? Like what is she, m*ntally r*tarded?” like wow okay dude i’m literally not doing anything. Luckily his friends reaction was basically “?? She lives here?? She can stand there if she wants??” (wow referring to myself as she feels weird and wrong).

A big problem I have is I feel like theres a community in this house that I just don’t fit into? Part of it is I’m like. the only person here who doesn’t do drugs of any kind?? Like I have nothing against ppl who use drugs like whatever bro, but it feels super othering to me when i can’t relate to anyone here because of it. That and. Getting T in particular but really just anyone but A to respect me asking that if you’re going to smoke anything to do it outside because weed and to a lesser extent cigarette smoke trigger my sensory disorder and causes me pain and causes sensory overload and I still find myself asking people to smoke outside.Like I’ve never been unreasonable and said “no drugs in the house” or some bs. I’m just asking u to respect my disability thanks.And like?? I’ll get into this in a second but there were needles in the toilet?? Bro throw them out properly.

And now: Hell.

Can no one clean up after themselves?? Do your dishes. If theres food left on your plate, throw it out first, don’t dump it in the sink. Seriously the kitchen sink is fucked. The kitchen is gross. The microwave ugh ugh ugh no thanks. No one can clean everything. This is why all my cookware and dishes are in my room. That way I can make sure I 1) Still Own It and 2) Its clean and usable. I clean them as I go and just use my own shit.

Nothing compares to the bathrooms, though. It seems like every other day one of the toilets are clogged. Last week there were spoons in the sink?? Like at least 10 spoons. In the bathroom sink. The floor is dirty because no one owns a mop and?? there was one in the kitchen?? I haven’t seen it in like a month. And the worst of all. Okay, it’s really bad when every one up here is between like. 16 and 19 I think? And I had to put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to flush when you’re done??? And I still have to flush before I can use the washroom???? And it feels like every week or so. The toilet’s clogged. Oh! I forgot to mention that the water closet doesn’t even have a doorknob anymore. Someone took it. But wait, it gets worse. Seriously if extremely unsanitary things bother u, stop reading now.

Twice in the past month I’ve had to contact the landlord because the toilets were beyond clogged. The first time was bad but oh lord nothing compares to the second time (aka last week). The first time was your pretty standard toilet clogs and backs up and its very gross. I contacted the landlord and it was fixed the next day and it was fine. For. Two Days. Im serious. See. People here have a real issue it seems of “The person before me didn’t flush so neither will I”, leading to a toilet bowl full of like. a half a roll of toilet paper and waste. F u n. What that led to was the toilet clogging, people not doing anything about it, and continuing to use it. Eventually the toilet bowl was full, so trow a shopping bag over the lid to mark the toilet as “Out of order” and move on to the other one.Both toilets were completely unusable. I emailed the landlord and i don’t know if either they or one of the people living here contacted them, but the old landlord and old property manager were here the other day to clean them out and fix them?? and yea among all the standard waste you’d expect in a toilet, there were needles? Like buddy theres a trash can right there? I know u had the needle caps bc they were in there too. just... disgusting...

bro this is just what i can think of off the top of my head i know theres more but oh no this is so long now. just. this is a lot more detail than u wanted but i wanted to get this out of my brain??

[art-by-rozzai]

had a bad day so more band au headcannons

anyone who wants to write a fic for this is absolutely allowed if they tag me, i’m not gonna make any full length ones but i might post some one shots eventually

anyway i had a really shitty day so here’s me self projecting and creating more band headcannons

check out the first here~

check out the second here~

tag list~

@athenashipsthings @thelesbianspoon @flowersheep @insert--self--hatred @nafsbluebery @sunflowerss0 @nerdiegurlie @stars-and-rose

okays lets do this✨

so last when we left the boys, it’s the day before they release their album “death of a bachelor”

to celebrate, roman suggests they get dinner out and maybe go see a movie??

logan is suprisingly the first to agree, saying that if he doesn’t get to watch the “scary stories to tell in the dark” movie soon he will explode. plus there’s no food in the fridge

virgil is also down to go see the movie, but is more reluctant to get dinner. he hates formal things, so to make him feel more comfortable roman offers they go to the local diner that he knows has virgil’s favorite chicken parm dish and virgil can’t say no to that

patton doesn’t want to see the movie at first-he really doesn’t like scary movies. but he wants dinner with his friends and he might be able to latch onto logan during the scary parts so he goes with it

so patton offers go help virgil with his hair and they end up getting ready together! they talk about everything they can think of as patton does hair and virgil does makeup and they both do each other’s nails and then they’re ready to go out whooooppp

meanwhile roman collapsed on logan’s bed an hour ago and began complaining about how he needed to impress virgil to get him to fall in love with him and has been talking ever since

logan doesn’t mind tho, roman helps him pick out a nice outfit and gives tips on how to woo patt

even though it’s not a date

yet

anyways they get to the diner and they all have an incredible time! by the end of the meal they’re in tears laughing at each other, from roman’s hysterical stories to virgil’s banter to logan’s fun facts and spilt tea to patton’s enthusiastic impressions

they love each over like family :)

and the movie is top notch. virgil is in love with it, him and logan spend the whole time guessing what’s going to happen while roman hides behind virgil and patton shoves his face full of popcorn and squish himself into logan’s arm

and yes virgil can’t stop laughing and logan’s immediate tensing up and blushing

after the movie they just don’t want to go to bed quite yet, so the friends head to the park and enjoy lying in the grass, talking and letting logan point out the stars while roman makes up stories of the aliens and space princesses that protect the galaxy

virgil makes everyone his famous hot chocolate and they stay up until midnight to release their songs

and then the clock strikes 12 and death of a bachelor is available to download

the boys decide that staying up and watching the comments flood in is a terrible idea and instead they put on some disney films and fall asleep on the couch

it’s nice

they wake up to millions of notifications

everyone is freaking the fuck out

this album ??? is beautiful ???

all of the fans are in love but also have a lot of questions-so the fab four start doing monthly live-streams to just chat and answer questions and catch up with their fans

“are y’all single?”

um

well yes

but uh

this question is not goOD ROMAN WHAT THE FU-

anyway virgil comes to patton one day, slams the door, puts his face in a pillow and screams “PATT IM SO GAY HELP”

because roman called his hair pretty this morning and yes it’s stupid and it happens all the time but this time was different

don’t worry tho they won’t admit their feelings to one and other for another three months

death of a bachelor does really well-all of the songs end up going either gold or platinum

their song “victorious” is played on the radio all of the time

so november rolls around and the friends decide it’s time to go on tour! starting with just north america, they post a video on the youtube channel that gives all the locations and dates

it’s to start in april:

virgil is extremely nervous. being on the road for so long and preforming live in front of thousands of people and will anyone even show up and-

logan is slightly nervous but honestly he really enjoys preforming-once he ties the tie around his head like a bandanna he almost transforms into the punk rock bassist he is known by the fans to be

patton!!! is!!! bouncy!!!!!!!! he wants to meet all these people!!!! and he can’t wait to give back to all of them by preforming and meet and greets and social interaction makes him really happy!!

roman is so excited-preforming is his thing. when he’s on a stage, he’s in his element! he can’t wait to show off and travel and be with his friends for even longer :)

but they can’t go on tour with their boring old instruments sooooo

roman and patton team up to paint and decorate all of the instruments

virgil’s piano matches his jacket, lots of purple and swirls and patton paints the classic nightmare before christmas scene on the front (u know, this one but stationary)

and they decorate the microphone stand purple and silver and black

logan gets a dope space themed bass-the outside is dark blue and the inside is painted like a galaxy, with a plain silver pick

roman paints his gutair with a castle and sunset in the back, with a bright red pick to play

patton’s drums have clouds on them nowww like a sunny day with blue puffy clouds

they’re ready to go! but it’s still only december so u kNoW whAt ThaT mEaNs

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

since none of the squad are jewish, (although technically patton is half jew since his mom is, but he just really loves christmas and always celebrated that growing up so)

they decide to celebrate at their house

they invite all of their close family to the apartment and have a lovely dinner

and yeah virgil doesn’t invite anyone cuz he was adopted by a shitty family who he doesn’t talk to anymore, bcuz all they did was try and get money out of him

and yeah he has a panic attack when all of his best friends are excitedly talking about their family coming over

and y e a h roman helps him calm down and swears that he will always b there to protect virgil bcuz he’s never met anyone quite like him and it’s not easy to explain but he just wants virgil to know he’s safe with roman

and yeah virgil wishes he could stop falling for roman but the ground keeps disappearing beneath him

so time skip a bit closer to christmas and logan bursts into romans room with an idea

“i can rap”

“we know”

“you can rap”

“kind of but okay”

“christmas rap song for fun”

“yeS”

so they write “gonna kill santa claus” (look it up) and decide to post it on the youtube channel on christmas eve

they film a music video for it where they jokingly set up different traps for santa like poison cookies and fire cracker chimneys and more

virgil sings the chorus, logan raps the rap parts, roman does the bridge, and patton lays down a pretty sick beat

it comes out really nice and honestly really fucking funny

so after a delightful family dinner with everyone over, the friends release that video and the internet fucking dies it’s so funny and logan can rap (??????) and ohmygod all of them are so cute what the fuck

anyway back to christmas dinner

roman has like 6 little sisters, and his mom and dad and papa and nana over

(he’s latino, his mom and dad are both from the dominican republic)

patton invites his mom and dad and little brothers, thomas and dee

and logan invites his two moms

everyone comes over for lunch and gets along reallyyyyyy well

logan’s got the punk mom and soft mom dynamic whereas, patton’s family is all super kind and like homey and boisterous and romans family is wild and crazy and funny and they all instantly click

presents are passed around, lots of money and books and movies and stickers and jewelry

really sweet stuff

and then everyone goes home and the friends have their own little gift exchange

virgil got logan the stephen king book “insomnia” and a (sort of) joke blanket with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it that he can use when he goes stargazing at night

logan gets virgil some noise cancelling headphones and a framed picture of a wedding with virgil’s face cropped on one and gerard ways face on the other

they both can’t stop laughing at the fact they attacked each other’s celeb crush

virgil gets patton a cute little cat stuffed animal that when u push the hand it’s a recording of all of them saying “we love you!!!” and a really sweet card

patton gets virgil a eyore necklace that was super expensive but matches patton’s winnie the pooh one and a itunes card for him to buy more music (and yes a really sweet card)

virgil gets roman two tickets to see mean girls on broadway and a framed picture of the two of them

yeah roman tears up a bit fuck u

roman gets virgil a collage of him and roman and a handmade hoodie that virgil is never going to take off oh and also meet and greet passes to see dan and phil at their interactive introverts tour

and maybe virge gets a little teary too

roman gets patton a recipie book and an apron that says “you BAKE my day”

patton gets roman a new ukelele and a printed out pamphlete of theatre song chords that he can play

roman gets logan the sherlock script and an empty box just to fuck with him

logan gets roman the entire grimm fairytale series and tapes a note to the front that says “bcuz u are an illiterate fool😜”

patton gets logan a phone case with the stars that were out on the day they met, hand painted framed picture of him and logan, and comic con tickets for this spring

logan gets patton tickets to the art museum downtown, a gift card to the coffee shop next to it, and two gold hoop earrings with a note that says “next week, friday at 7. it’s a date ;)”

so christmas is pretty good for all :))))))

and that’s the end of this one i’ll make a part four soon lmao

[bloodydamnit]

You went to MICA, right? I’m currently going there and it’s good (stressful as fuck, but good) and I wanna know; what did you hate and what did you love about it? (Oh my god I sound like those end of year surveys they give you)

Hello there!!! Omfg I’m literally on campus right now for pride!!! LOL just got myself a smoky burger from OTH what what. okay okay okay good questions. 

MICA has changed quite a bit since I was there. Like, my freshman year was fucking lit. If you take the shuttle and get Mr. Robert or Ms. Yvette, ask them about the nudists. Shit was wild. 

Our freshman/foundation year was different in general too? Like

Okay. So. lol. Our classes were:

Elements of Visual Thinking - Which was a chance to explore concepts, mediums, learning how to properly critique, etc. 

Critical Thinking - Which was just critical theory, but more on your own practice I guess? I don’t really know how to explain it. 

EMAC - Which was exploring different forms of digital media and how to use them (Premier, Photoshop, Audacity, recording devices, etc)

Sculptural Forms - Which was a chance for you to explore 3d media. So it was held in what used to be 15/15 and it was woodshop, plaster, 3d printing, and cardboard. 

Then, this is where I get pissed off and seriously fucking angry about this change. 

But we USED to have Painting and Drawing. Now, if you got a 5 in AP art, you gained an extra credit and could skip Drawing/Painting 1. HAH. IMAGINE THAT. HAVING A PAINTING AND DRAWING CLASS AS A FOUNDATION FOR YOUR ART. BECAUSE IT’S KIND OF NECESSARY. 

can you tell im a bit fucking salty?

They were separate classes and I think, they were extremely fucking important to the development of not only my art but my peers. For example, I fucking hated painting when I went to MICA. Literally fucking refused to touch the medium. 

I went to my first class with Latoya Hobbs, tried oil paint, and everything fucking changed. I was a GD major (or that was my plan) and I immediately switched to Painting and I never looked back. 

Unfortunately, yall don’t have that opportunity anymore. Especially since when you choose your major, you tend to stick with those classes. Which really fucking sucks, because you can tell the variety of art has gone down since this change happened. And I think that’s the thing that I dislike about MICA NOW the most. I had the chance to take things, was required to take them, and then I knew how to do a variety of things BECAUSE of those changes. And from what I understand, you don’t have those opportunities anymore. Which really fucking sucks. Because you also miss out on the amazing fucking professors in other majors as well. For example, Karen Warshal. I HIGHLY recommend taking her Portrait class and her Anatomy class. I swear to god, those were the best, more useful classes I’ve ever taken. Is she crazy? A bit. But she’s the most genuine, caring, supportive, and one of the hardest professors I’ve ever had. And thats what you WANT. You don’t want someone to butter you up, tell you your art is poppin when it’s not, and to try and let you off easy because you look upset. Karen tells you how it fucking is and that’s so god damn important. no matter what major you are, TAKE HER FUCKING CLASSES. They’re important and they’re necessary to your development as an artist. Even if you’re not into figural art. - also she makes food and brings it in. and if you’re sick she might make you chicken noodle soup. shout out to karen

Honestly, Karen was probably one of my favorite things about MICA. Along with Mark Karnes,  TONY FUCKING SHORE. LISTEN. YOU NEED TO TAKE A CLASS WITH TONY SHORE (PAINTING). I think he might be doing a class on race (which haha he knows hes white as fuck) and i think it will be fantastic. so keep an eye out, AND RUTH TOULSON THE ANTHROPOLOGY TEACHER. IT MIGHT STILL BE A REQUIREMENT. HER CLASSES HAVE AN 80+ WAITLIST. IF YOU GET ON. ITS SO WORTH IT FUCKING TRUST ME. SHES OUT OF THIS FUCKING WORLD. PAUL LONG, HE’S AN ACADEMIC TEACHER (TEACHES POETRY AND SOME OTHER SHIT. HE’S GREAT. BRINGS SNACKS EVERY DAY), and others?? if you want to know more, please message me and i’ll give you them!

Anyway, I havent really answered your question!

Dislike:Housing situation fucking sucked. getting a room was fucking ridiculous. They ran out of room for us because they started accepting more (this happened when sophomore housing was required. My year was the first year that went into effect and they had to buy out bolton hill apartments. people had to break leases, etc. it was fucking ridiculous). 

The MICA store is eh? It used really good and held in dolphin. But it was literally falling apart. Now its too.. idk. It’s fine. I prefer artists and craftsmen. 

Access to studios and equipment is eh too. Because of time constraints. 

How the student body treats the fucking faculty is DISGUSTING. One girl literally called one of the sweetest security guards the ‘help’. Ms. Gloria (senior in security) is fantastic, Officer Green is everything, Ms. Yvette is so fucking sweet, and Mr. Robert makes my heart sing. 

The student body in general LOLOLOLOLOL. ‘Surround yourself with good juju’ - Former MICA Grad (my best friend) The fucking student body mica page is a fucking dumpster fire lol. 

I don’t like how white MICA is and how entitled a good part of the student body is. The amount of entitlement is fucking ridiculous. And the amount of ignorance is astounding. Also the obviousness to what fucking city you're in, is so wild i cant fucking even. Like. MICA is deceptively beautiful (the MICA bubble). Which is why it is high in crime lol. Just be alert and don’t be a god damned dumbass walking around at 3 am with your fucking headphones in, smoking a cigarette, and acting like you’re fucking immune to being mugged. Just saying. Take the shuttles and you’ll most likely be gucci. 

I don’t like how MICA spends its money (our money). And what they choose to invest in - like buying random fucking buildings and not telling the students what it’s for, and fucking raising the price of tuition and living in order to compensate. 

The total and utter lack of transparency, etc. It felt eehhhh I don’t know how to explain it. 

NOW. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LOT AND THAT IM JUST SHITTING ON MICA. BUT MY MICA EXPERIENCE WAS THE BEST OF MY LIFE. I LEARNED SO MUCH. AND I FIND WHAT I LEARNED THERE TO BE INVALUABLE (except for the fact that I’m 56k in debt. just saying)

But really. I loved MICA. I wish I could go back. I met so many amazing people, made great connections, and I don’t think I would have had the same love at any other art school. (I have friends in SAIC, Pratt, Parsons, FIT, SVA, RISD - they all complain about the same things. they in the grand scheme of things, are material. Which important because, hah, money. But, material nonetheless. If you have the means, I don’t think these things I explained are deal breakers)

Now what I loved about MICA. Because honey. I fucking LOVED MICA:

When I was touring schools, I was kind of eh about them? Not in the sense that I wouldn’t have a good time or be ungrateful, but I didn’t get that feeling. Does that make sense? For example, I took a tour at SVA and I have very very strong opinions about SVA, I had no feeling. When I stepped on MICA’s campus, that was fucking it for me. Not only was I comfortable there, but the professors that were at the tour, made it their duty and went out of their way to make myself and the other potential students feel welcome. They were personable, they were kind and welcoming, they were warm, and that continued even after I decided MICA was the place for me. 

My class at least, had no drama lololol. Again, my freshman year was a hell of a lot of fucking fun. We didn’t have any big racist shit going on like other years (ahem ahem 2018, 2019). INSTEAD, we had the nudists, we had carrot videos (ask around about that), it kind of felt less cliquey? Because everyone was generally interested in being friends? Idk. Like we definitely had groups and they became more evident as majors really clicked in, but in the beginning, everyone was pretty much together (this was the first year that the grill opened and leake was a thing. So we were all figuring out the dorms together). I mean we had drama but it wasn’t... idk. It wasn’t like mica student body (maybe its because we didnt have that to fuck shit up lolol). 

On The Hill was my shit. Still my shit. I fucking love on the hill with a fucking passion. Pom Iced Teas, where you at. The neighborhood in general was really nice. Baltimore is one of my favorite cities and the stigma of it will be broken as soon as you start exploring it. HOWEVER, BE FUCKING SMART. DONT BE A FUCKING IDIOT. IF YOU DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE SOMEWHERE, YEET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. TRAVEL WITH OTHERS. DON’T BE THOSE DUMB ASS WHITE GIRLS FROM RURAL FUCKING TOWNS THAT THINK THEY CAN WALK AROUND AT 4 AM OR JUST WHEN IT’S DARK OUT, ALONE, AND BE OKAY. TAKE. THE FUCKING. SHUTTLE. 

The studio spaces were really nice so as they’re taken care of. the equipment is really nice. take advantage of it while you can. because once you’re out of school. hah. you’re screwed. 

Networking was nice. 

Being close to the Walters was amazing and the ability to go to DC for the day only spending 8$ on the Marc train to get there was amazing. Having Penn right on campus. 

Again, the professors were in majority, fucking amazing. 

Some professors had classes outside of MICA (karen has model drawing classes at her studio) take them! They’re really worth it!

I actually didnt mind the dorms. 10x better than most colleges. 

Accessibility was amazing. Especially since its not a closed campus, but everything is in one place. That’s not the case with a lot of Art colleges. 

And most of all, I just loved being there. I loved learning. I loved the people. I loved baltimore, i loved the professors. MICA 10000% shaped how I am as an artist in the best way and I think it’s an amazing place to be despite the downfalls. 

Don’t take everything I said as gospel. like I said, these are just my experiences as well as a few of my friends in the same fine arts department. The others, I’m not sure about. But yeah. I hope this helps! You can always message me and I’d be happy to refer you to classes, professors, etc. Good luck with next year!

[arrghigiveup]

In which it is Seventh Month, and chat considers the effects of inflation in hell and sexting via joss paper

Arrgh: I sometimes wonder if hell has inflation.

Of-sevenseas: ?

Arrgh: considering the amount of money some of these people try to burn to their ancestors

Lazulisong: It does actually. The denominations have risen on the bills I read. I was reading up on Hell money the other day in case I wanted to make a joke about bribing Shen Wei

Moderndaypandora: it must be somebody other than ZYL making the joke, he'd just bribe him with his body

Lazulisong: Well ZYL does bribe messengers and workers. And Shen Wei can apparently interact with burnt offerings

Kitsunec4: And like 888 folded lotus flowers. And paper houses. And paper cars.

Arrgh: Paper iPhones too, which strikes me as completely hilarious. WAIT ZYL ABSOLUTELY BURNS SW AN IPHONE

Moderndaypandora: with a drawn on text from Ah Lan 😘😘?

Arrgh: YES

Moderndaypandora: the new way to send nudes

Moggiesandtea: ....yeah, he'd do that. Also probably a really fancy paper house with a fancy paper bed. He is subtle

Moderndaypandora: i'd just want to be a fly on the wall watching Shen Wei receive it

Arrgh: nonono no house. After all, SW should stay nowhere else other than with HIM

Moderndaypandora: lol Shen Wei: you should burn me a house, if you want to do such foolish things ZYL: that is the LAST thing i should burn ZYL would burn paper sex toys instead. Like "WE COULD BE USING THESE". This could be us but you playin'

Arrgh: ok, does he like print them off, or does he try to draw them (I don't want to know if paper sex toys can be bought)

Kitsunec4: Probably

Moderndaypandora: ok but imagine Da Qing getting dragged along on the quest to find out ZYL: we need to go buy paper offerings Da Qing: i can feel something terrible coming

Arrgh: Da Qing knows his terrible human very well

Moderndaypandora: Da Qing probably tried to make a break for it but got dragged into a cat carrier

Lazulisong: I'm sure he could draw a dildo easily tho. Or like, write it in cinnabar on joss paper. BY THE WAY IM STILL YELLING ABOUT THAT IDIOT SLEEPING WITH A FUCKING JAR OF UHHHHH MERCURY ON HIS BED Also still crying over Shen Wei being like omg!!! I get to write a letter!!! To ☆♡☆HIM☆♡☆~~~~ and Zhao being like why the fuck does heipao-ge write these long ass grandma letters

Arrgh: Speaking of, we know ZYL doesn't send letters, but you KNOW after the identity reveal and they finally get their shit together ZYL makes good use of that can of cinnabar to send SW all kinds of random shit

Lazulisong: Sexting via joss paper

Kitsunec4: A phrase I never realized could happen to be said

Arrgh: Lol I'm honestly surprised we haven't had this conversation before XD

Moderndaypandora: ZYL, the first time the thought occurs: oh my god i could have been doing this so much sooner

Of-sevenseas: Shen Wei, the first time this happens: ... of course he found a way to sext via joss paper

Moderndaypandora: Shen Wei: why am i even surprised?

Of-sevenseas: if he's sexting on joss paper, then it would be his handwriting. so actually Shen Wei is psyched to finally start his collection of handwritten notes from his beloved

Moderndaypandora: Shen Wei would meticulously save it

Of-sevenseas: even if they are the spiritual equivalent of dirty limericks

Moderndaypandora: "i thought about your sleeve garters while touching myself" "you should pull my hair next time i serve you" "wanna keep the glasses on?"

Lazulisong: "daddy babys been bad"

Moderndaypandora: "baby wants it harder tonight" and Shen Wei would take all these and preserve them with like, pressed flowers in a beautifully carved box

Ohbthr: What a perv 😂

Luna: It’d be more romantic if ZYL’s handwriting wasnt chicken scratch and SW had to squint to decipher it

Moderndaypandora: lol, Shen Wei sending back notes like "if i can't read it, we can't do it" to try and encourage neater handwriting

Arrgh: +squint. Squiiiiiint. BLUSHES BRIGHT RED+

Moderndaypandora: ZYL leaves a voicemail on the burned phone: then i'll just tell you what i want Shen Wei: clearly something new and different

Of-sevenseas: poor Da Qing or whoever is doing the budget that month. 'discretionary expense claims' suddenly become a lot more common

Lazulisong: I have this theory that Shen Wei is a big love letter thief and that's why hes mad Zhao Yunlan only texts

Of-sevenseas: question: does Shen Wei have seventy billion failed drafts of school reports and essays and work briefs in Yunlan's lamentable chicken scratch

Moderndaypandora: how many times are the sexts modern slang that Shen Wei needs to ask somebody about?

Of-sevenseas: too many

Moderndaypandora: lol after the second he stops asking

Arrgh: It's too late, there are rumours all over campus now

Moderndaypandora: ZYL would demand "for my birthday, i want a dirty text"

Lazulisong: He reluctantly learns how to use idk what urban dictionary in China is

Of-sevenseas: okay but his work firewall would nuke that from orbit so he can't google anything

Moderndaypandora: Shen Wei: highly euphemistic, amazing poetic phrase

Of-sevenseas: lord, please let him quote smtg from red mansions the dance of winds and rain, my foot

Moderndaypandora: lol it'd be hilarious if he decided to troll and went for "🍆?"

Moggiesandtea: But that could be interpreted as a reference to ZYL's prize winning eggplants

Luna: SW’s dirty texts would definitely be full of classical references

Lazulisong: Honestly Shen Wei would be like "youd better not be doing [innocuous but could be suggestive with the right mindset] when I get home" "Youd better not be wearing my clothes again" ":DDDDDDDDDD"

Moderndaypandora: ahhh, like waving a red flag in front of a bull. or placing a cup near a ledge while the cat is watching

Lazulisong: "a spanking! a spanking!!!"

Arrgh: Only person to be excited at the thought of pissing the Ghost Executioner off =D

Of-sevenseas: only person to get a sound fucking instead of instadeath if have pissed off the Ghost Executioner

[willgayers]

like, imagine eddie working in a 24/7 convinience store during the night shift (like,,, 11pm-4am) and richie is a regular that just comes in the weirdest hours and buys the most bizarre combo of items and is always trying to flirt w eddie making puns with whatever items hes buying and eddie lowkey likes it (cue stan rolling his eyes)

lmaooo yes yes yes!!

eddie fucking HATES it

but he’s a destitute student (arent we all ha ha ha… send me money) so its not like he really has a choice ya know

he only really likes one of his co-workers (martha) and hates everyone else

but at least theres… something interesting about his job…

richie tozier is 18 and he lives by himself at a condo downtown and his life was pretty fucking boring taking he’d just moved into derry and he knew literally NO ONE other than the cool chick who lives in the same block of flats and richie saw her wearing a the smiths shirt so they became friends 

but then one night,, richie was about to go for a smoke when he realized he’s all out 

also he was kind of in the mood for chicken nuggets

and now that we’re at it how great would a bottle of soda be with that

he remembers seeing a convenience store near his house so he gets up from his couch and glances at the clock ,,, 2am its not that bad yet

so he gets out of the house and walks over to the store

he swings the door open and glances around. the lamps create a rather ugly yellow shade inside,, an old backstreet boys song is playing from the stereos and richie snorts

he doesnt see anyone behind the counter so he just goes straight to the fridge to grab some nuggets,, waddles over to the soda section and grabs a huge bottle of coke

and then he walks out from behind one isle and sees the prettiest?? boy?? ever??

richie drops the coke bottle and it starts to gush out 

the boy behind the counter snaps his head towards richie the SECOND

richie does nothing

“HEY? EXCUSE ME???”

tozier just gapes at him

“ARE YOU GONNA PICK THAT UP??”

“holy shit” richie literally just blurts out 

“??????” this guy is looking at richie like what the fUCK??

then richie flinches back to the moment

“shit,,, i mean,,, yes,, fuck,” richie starts to reach out for the bottle and eddie is like WHAT is this dude seriously gonna grab the-

the soda is still spilling out and some of it shoots straight against richie’s glasses 

“FUCK” he yelps out and drops the bottle, some MORE of it just filling the floor

“oh my gOd just leave it,,, pay for the rest,” eddie sighs knowing he’s gonna have to clean it up

“i am so,,,so sorry” richie blurts out as he rubs his glasses against his shirt and walks towards the counter

eddie looks at him clearer now that he doesnt have the ridiculously big glasses covering half of his face,,, and he swallows because wow?? he’s actually really cute?? 

“yeah its… whatever” eddie murmurs, licking his lips nervously

“so you’ll take that only?” eddie asks, nodding towards the chicken nugget pack

“and a green marlboro”

eddie fights the urge to roll his eyes. he doesnt get smokers

but instead he just hands him the pack 

“that’ll be 6.50″

“here,, and again i am terribly sorry about…”

they both glance behind richie where the coke is only now starting to die out

“yeah.” eddie just says

a few days later,,, richie’s at the skate park with his only friend in town 

“can i tell you something.” richie asks as they’re chilling on top of their skates

“sure” beverly says,, takin a drag out of her cig

“i saw someone”

beverly starts to smirk wide at him 

“oh yeah??? whats she look like i might know her”

richie glances away

“uh.. not a she, actually. a he”

“i go both ways” richie shrugs as beverly’s silently asking if he’s..? not that she’d judge him but out of curiosity

“okay well, whats HE look like”

“he works at the convenience store” richie says and the second he does beverly bursts out laughing

richie’s like ???what???

“oh my god, EDDIE KASPBRAK???”

“you know him???”

“ohh boy eddie kaspbrak is the princess of this town there’s no way in hell you’re gonna get with him”

richie’s heart sinks a little 

“but hey!! theres plenty of pretty boys in this town”

richie doesnt care he wants that one

eddie’s lowkey thought of the weird guy who spilled coke all over the carpet also 

one night richie’s about to make food but realizes he’s out of french fries. and he wants to eat chicken with french fries. he cant possibly eat it with rice that he has,, he just has to eat it with french fries oh well haha what a great thing he lives next to a convenience store!!

so he goes there,, and ,, its faith its destiny or at least thats what tozier thinks eddie is working 

eddie’s stomach flips

mostly because he’s afraid he’s gonna break something again 

“hello” richie says

“…hi..” eddie says, watching as richie walks,, trying to be all cool and casual but ends up walking against a Lays shelf

eddie drops his head quickly to hide his laughter as an embarrassed richie starts gathering up the chips

he ends up taking one tho only so that he can say he “did it on purpose”

“so you’re taking chips and french fries huh???”

“well why not. i like potatoes”

“great”

“uh-huh”

richie’s just staring at eddie as he’s doing his job and eddie can feel this so his cheeks are kinda heating up 

“and a pack of green marlboros”

“right” eddie says,, remembering this from last time 

“that’ll be 10dollars”

“thanks eddie”

eddie almost chokes as the guy flashes him a smirk and is about to leave

“how do you know my name???”

richie just winks and eddie’s stomach flips again but this time its over something completely different and before eddie could ask his name richie’s out of the store already. proud w himself

richie doesnt say anything to bevvie tho even tho they hang out bc he doesnt want 1) beverly to bring him down 2) to ruin the great moment when he’s gonna tell beverly he’s got a date with eddie and see the look on her face

after a couple of days richie goes back to buy a twix bar. and more cigarettes

“hi eds” richie says as he walks in and eddie goes bright red

“do not call me eds”

richie smirks as he shuffles to the desk 

“can i have a pack of-”

eddie slams the marlboro green to the counter

richie smirks lightly

“and a twix” 

“those are in front of you” eddie snaps

“yeah i know that, you handing it to me would’ve just been a great moment to accidentally brush my fingers against yours tho” richie sighs as he grabs the twix and places it on the desk with a sweet smile

eddie’s eyes widen and he has to fake a cough 

“FIVE TWENTY, THANK YOU”

“here ya go” richie says and slides him the money

“whats your name??” eddie asks 

“oh, are you interested in knowing??”

“no, but since you somehow know mine which is kind of stalkery and creepy-”

“richie” richie says as he opens the chocolate bar wrapper and bites down to it 

eddie blinks at him

“richie”

“yeah” richie bites his chocolate again “thats me”

“you enjoying that?” eddie nods towards the twix bar that richie’s literally gorged

“i’ve had better things in my mouth but its okay”

eddie’s jaw drops lightly and he just stares at richie 

and then someone clears their throat so eddie turns his gaze to the rather pissed off looking lady behind richie and he clears his throat

“oKAY! NEXT CUSTOMER PLEASE!”

richie glances behind him 

“hey we were having a conversation here”

eddie’s eyes widen

“UH, NO WE WEREN’T!” Eddie fakes a nervous laugh “please just,, step ahead!!”

“wow, rude eds. im gonna go then”

“ooookayyyyy,,, byeeee” eddie says as he’s already beeping the next customer’s stuff but as richie walks away he still steals a glance at his back

richie just keeps on going back

everytime he buys something weird 

“a vanilla candle..”

“yes, i like the smell”

“uh-huh”

*next time*

“meatballs and popcorn? please tell me you’re not mixing these two”

“i wasnt gonna but thanks for the idea”

*next time*

“cat food? you have a cat?”

“no” 

eddie frowns

“then why would you buy cat food?”

“i wanted to see you” :’)

kaspbrak tries to ignore the butterflies he’s feeling rn

“…three thirty”

“thats some expensive kitty food. well, i hope my next door neighbor tanya will appreciate this”

“youre buying this for your neighbor??”

“yeah. she’s a nice old romani lady with three cats” richie says as he grabs the cat food and eddie starts to smile a little because thats so cute??

richie notices the smile and he just smiles back. no flirts or anything just smiles 

“see ya later alligator” richie says and eddie rolls his eyes amusedly 

“bye”

days pass by,,, richie coming in practically every day and he just doesnt even look around anymore he just grabs the first thing at hands length and puts it to the counter

batteries,, candy bags,, motorcycle magazines,, even tampons once

“…..”

“i get bad nosebleeds” 

and eddie actually lets out a chuckle. an actual ,,, true chuckle and richie gets the biggest smile

“you want your regular?” eddie asks

“huh?”

“the marlboros”

“oh no i quit” richie shrugs and eddie looks surprised

“really?”

“yeah” richie shrugs

(lowkey he quit bc he somehow found out eddie doesnt like smokers)

*eddie heart-eyes intensify*

*another time*

richie’s feeling flirty one friday and buys a pack of condoms

“yyyyello” he says as he slams the pack against the table

eddie looks at it and oh wow he feels like he’s been hit in the chest

why the hell??? he doesnt even know this guy??? yet he kinda feels like he does??? 

“who’s the lucky girl” eddie comments as he beeps the pack

“who says its a girl” richie asks and eddie gets even more pissed off now because??? hE LIKES BOYS??? THATS EVEN WORSE

“right” eddie just dramatically snaps and before he can say the price richie speaks

“im kidding i dont really wanna buy those” he says

eddie quirks a brow

“huh?”

“i dont need them”

silence

“im not having sex”

silence

“i mean i ,,, i do have sex but im not currently having sex”

“…uh huh okay, thanks for sharing this w-”

“okay im getting DESPERATE i need you to go out on a date with me”

eddie’s eyes widen as he raises both of his brows now

“im sorry what”

“yes ,,oh my god PLEASE i’ve been coming here literally every day i thought it would be obvious as im buying things like fucking,,, tampons and protein bars when you can clearly see i haven’t worked out a day in my life”

eddie starts to smile (bc thats true)

“okay”

richie’s taken aback

“huh??”

“okay, i’ll go on a date with you”

“what seriously???”

“yeah” eddie smirks but then jokingly goes serious “just… dont put tampons up your nose”

“i promise i wont i dont even- well sometimes when i do get-”

eddie raises amused brows

“sorry” richie apologizes for talking too much again

eddie grabs a piece of paper and scrabbles something before folding it and handing it to richie

(smooth finger brushing was done btw)

(eddie did it on purpose)

(which sent tingles down richie’s spine)

“i have a free day tomorrow”

“oK THATS GREAT I GOTTA GO NOW BYE” richie’s shocked™

“wait!” eddie stopped him just as richie was about to turn around

“arent you forgetting something??” he says and richie drops his gaze to the counter where eddie’s sliding the condom pack towards richie

richie could fucking cry as he looks at the smirk on eddie’s face

“i dont-” he utters out like what the FuCk Is GoiNg ON

eddie doesnt say anything just raises his brows so richie swallows and nods and grabs the pack, shakily shoving them to the back of his jeans before he gets out and looks at the paper

its got a number

and then 

eddie ,,, and a small heart after that

richie fucking SWOONS and he could do the whole breakfast club fist pump to the air 

they have their date and its lit af and awh

and on monday richie hangs out with beverly

his phone rings and he answers

“hey cutie”

beverly raises her brows

“yeah im still at the skate park.”

silence

“yeah??” richie asks “yeah sure of course!! come here. ok see you”

“who was that?” bevvie asks

richie just smirks

bc literally seconds later eddie walks over (he was just around the corner)

beverly’s mouth drops

“hey!!” eddie smiles as he makes his way over to the two of them,, leaning down to press a kiss to richie’s lips as he sits down 

“beverly,, you might know eddie” richie looks at beverly as he speaks ,, mentally saying HA HA BITCH!!!

beverly just gapes at the two of them

“hi:)” - eddie

“…hi…” beverly gives him an awkward smile

“so like,,, i was supposed to go to work today right?? but then my boss called me and wait im gonna show you this mail i was supposed to take to the post office-”

as eddie starts to grab something from his backpack and goes on with his talking,, beverly turns her shocked gaze to richie who just looks so fucking proud 

“are you serious???” beverly mouths

“ohhh yeah” richie mouths back at him

“hey babe?” richie asks 

“yeah?” eddie asks, turning his head towards richie from his backpack

“gimme another kiss” richie pouts and eddie rolls his eyes, kissing him again. richie starts jokingly planting dozens of tiny kisses on his mouth, making eddie giggle

beverly’s jaw only drops lower

they hang out for some time but once eddie leaves,, beverly speaks

“well,,, guess i was wrong” 

richie just smiles wide bc ofc she was

its reddie

how do i end this??

fuck

bye

the end

@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst@eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash@rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth@richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers@temptedtozier@kaspbraccs@kylieee827-blog @sad-synth@low-key-dying@officiallyreddie@reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie@rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609 @fabulousprinceali  @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers @tatiscribbles

[charliebattinson]

MOVIN IN | Moving in with Shawn [BP] | Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hi here’s another bullpoint thingy haha. I’m planning on two other bps! Chrismas! Shawn and Best Friend! Shawn. Tell me if you want me to make them! Hope you like this! Feedback is welcomed! Much love xx

Moving in with Shawn:

You guys have been dating for so long

You and shawn are just probably having a late night drive

He just asks “y/n do you want to move in together?”

You love the idea but you tease him about it “why would ya want to move in together?”

“So I don’t have to pay full rent and someone can do my laundry and cook for me”

“Dick”

You happily agree though

You guys move into a cute place thats just right for you two with a cute little balcony

Boxes everywhere

Painting rooms together

Painting each other

“Do you know hard it is to remove this shit?”

First night in is just talking the whole night, planning on what to do next with the place and just being super happy

You sleep on the floor because you haven’t fixed the bed yet

Christening the whole place

“We gotta really clean the kitchen area”

Getting to know the neighbors

First weeks are just lazy, living through boxes and take outs

Its getting frustrating because you’re both searching for what you need in every box

“Where the fuck is the kettle”

“Oi we’re really need to unpack these boxes”

You eventually got everything unpacked

Shawn sees the makeup in the bathroom and he’s so confused by them

“Babe why are there paint brushes in the bathroom?”

Showers together

Shawn doing a mohawk while in the shower

“Rub my back and i’ll rub yours”

Attempting shower sex but you both just end up slipping

Taking bathtubs together

Shawns always so eager to drop the bath bomb

“LEMME DO IT”

Furniture shopping

Heading out to ikea and playing house. Watch this for visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARoB1nWPsxo

Assembling furniture together

“Did you know assembling ikea furniture is the greatest test of all relationships?”

When you guys thought you actually assembled it perfectly then you realized you screwed the wrong legs on all sides“

“Fuck this. We’re done”

Shawn buys random cooking appliances

“Why’d you buy this? You don’t even know what its for”

“IT LOOKED COOL OKAY”

Plant shopping too

You guys forget to water the plants tho

“I thought it was a fake plant”

“Shit we’d make horrible parents”

Grocery shopping

Sometimes you’d have late night grocery shopping and shawn would attempt to ride the cart

You’d be at the cereal area and shawn would just pretend not to know you and try to flirt with you and use pick up lines

“Do you like kellogs? Wanna frost my flakes?”

“Sorry but my idiot boyfriend is waiting for me”

Debating on what ice cream to get

“Fuck you we’re getting vanilla”

Trying to pick out wine because you’re feeling fancy

“How the fuck do you pick out a good wine?”

“Just get the fancy looking one, that probably tastes good”

Cooking dinner together while jamming to miguel tracks like told you so and pineapple skies

Shawn pulls you in for a dance

Teaching shawn how to cook

Him coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck, cheeks and shoulders while teaching him how to cook the chicken

It puts a smile to your lips cooking for two instead of always cooking for one

You’re both afraid to go near the pan because of the oil sizzling

Shawn joking around like he’s on a cooking show and acting like gordon ramsay

“Its fucking raw!”

Rock paper scissors on who has to clean the dishes and take out the trash

“HA SUCK IT BITCH” “shawn” “sorry”

Jamming to 80 and 90s tracks

“THIS IS HOW WEEEE DOOO ITTTT”

Sitting on the balcony sipping on wine

Slow dancing to “The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett” by the fireplace

Also not knowing how to set the fire to the fireplace

“This looked easier in the movies”

Sex by the fireplace

Sleeping by the fireplace naked

Doing laundry

“SHAWN YOUR SUPPOSE TO SEPARATE THE WHITES FROM THE COLORED ONES”

“oops”

One of his tops shrinks 2 sizes

“Honestly shawn how did you survive living alone?”

“I ask that myself too”

When you guys fight or have arguments he sleeps in the couch but you miss having him there in the bed so you go to the couch and he gives you some space to sleep beside him

Afternoon naps in the couch

You would go home to see shawn sprawled on the couch shirtless and only jeans writing lyrics

“Yeah i can get used to this view”

Sex on the couch

Lazy sundays

Naked sundays

“Sundays should be spent naked”

Midnight snack raiding the fridge in just your underwears

Shawn surprising you with  breakfast in bed

“You just bought this in the local bakeshop didn't you? You didn't cook anything”

“Yeahp”

You guys try baking one time

Total fail.

It just ended up as a food fight and making out on the kitchen counter and shawn covered in flour and you covered in eggs

Camping out in the rooftop 

You ask the landlord if you can leave a sofa type of furniture there

The rooftop also becomes a place to unwind and have a beer

Movie marathon

You guys attempt to watch all 8 harry potter films

You guys fell asleep midway through the first

“Fuck I’m getting old”

“Babe have you seen my keys?”

“Babe have you seen my wallet?”

Shawn opens the front door and shouts “HONEY I’M HOME!!”

You think you’re sly in stealing some of shawn shirts and hoodies and placing them on your side of the cabinet

But shawns has hunch you’ve been stealing them

“You’ve been stealing my clothes haven’t you?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

He goes to your cabinet and finds most of his hoodies and flannels

“AHA CAUGHT YA”

“Babe i need my clothes back or else I’ll have nothing to wear” “thats the point shawn!”

You wear them when he’s away on tour because it smells like him; like a part of him is here

Bed feels so big without him

Deciding on what pet to get

“We can’t get a dog” “i don’t want a cat”

You both decide to get a goldfish

“Let’s name it sushi” “rude shawn rude”

You forget to feed it the first few days

He comes home tour and you just let him sleep it out. Doing his laundry and everything

You would always cook for him every time he comes home from tour

And you would just sit on his lap while he eats and he’s just so happy because he gets to taste a home cooked meal again

“I miss your taste too”

There’s a part in your bedroom that has a wall of polaroids of your special moments

Making the bed together every morning

Smiling at each other through the mirror when you both brush your teeth

You do the bring it on brushing their teeth scene. Watch for visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3-ywpMj4Jk

Cooking and eating breakfast together

Shawn resting his chin on your head while you get ready for work

Shawn would leave it post it notes in different places when he leaves early for work

Leave cute words like “you’re so fine” using the letter magnets on the fridge

He would bring you home flowers sometimes

Forehead kisses in the morning

Shawn waking you up with kisses in the morning

Waking each other up when the other doesn’t want

“WAKEY WAKEY”

“SHAWN PUT BACK THE PAN AND STOP HITTING IT WITH THE SPATULA. IM AWAKE IM FUCKING AWAKE”

You guys give each other back massages when the other one is tired after a long day of work

Shawn trying to fix the lightbulb thats always flickering because he wants to feel responsibe

“If you get electrocuted…”

He ends up getting short by the lightbulb

Theres always the spider and cockroach situation

“YOUR TURN TO KILL IT” “NO ITS YOUR TURN I FEEL SO GUILTY ALREADY”

You guys make a hobby of working on like a 500 or 1k piece puzzle to destress from work

Framing them when you’ve finished

Playing the xbox once in a while

You both get so competitive with each other

We all know who the sour loser is

Attempting to have sex but you both just pass out on the bed

Shawn in just his boxers playing his guitar on the couch while you’re there trying not have a heart attack from the way he looks

Shawn chasing you around the apartment

There’s the “just us” kind of clean

There’s also the “holy crap our friends are coming over. Pick up your underwear” clean

And the “parents are coming over. we gotta make this place look like its never been used. DISINFECT EVERYTHING!!!” kind of clean

Bringing coffee or tea for shawn when he’s at his “in the zone” mood in his little studio room and him making tea for you when you’re working a lot

Taking care of the other when sick

“I got ya chicken noodle soup”

“I’m going to make you into a blanket burrito to keep you warm” 

You guys hide snacks from each other

“SHAWN DID YOU FINISH MY CHEETOS?”

Shawn would pretend to be shocked

“WHAT? ME?”😦😦😦

Just having this natural and comfortable silence while both of you are doing your work

There’s always been a spare room and you ask shawn what do with

“Baby room in the future?”

You always schedule a date night especially at times when the work is too much and you don’t spend enough time. No phones. No work. Just the two of you enjoying each other.

“Cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you” “we’ll see” “Y/N” “just kidding i love you bitch. Can’t wait either”

[urscottsdale]

1-100 😌

1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol

2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up

3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find

4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏

5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very

6:do you keep plants? nope

7:do you name your plants? nada

8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music

9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above

11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one

12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto

13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog

14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean

15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉

16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti

17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh

19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍

21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag

22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings

23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music

24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho

25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol

26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz

27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28:sunrise or sunset? sunset

29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care

30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes

31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring

32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol

33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts

34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it

35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them

36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys

37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol

38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh

39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)

40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me

41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird

42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…

43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade

44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school

45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup

46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)

47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish

48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually

49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.

50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys

51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars

52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.

53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u

54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol

55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol

56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me

57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope

58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol

59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat

60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe

61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family

62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice

63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be

64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray

65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns

67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much

68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there

69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol

70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea

72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot

73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down

75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy

76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things

77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club

79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me

80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol

81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate

82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy

83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done

84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh

85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope

86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot

87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical

88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes

89:are you close to your parents? yes

90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc

91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best

92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese

93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top

94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me

95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days

96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name

97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff

98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to

99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan

100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.

[gwisingegooli]

so overall summary of my bars experience yesterday

+ repeat stuff from chat

so michaels friends r like hella white white

we came late from another dinner w de anza degen friends. dee, w ills mom, invited us and it was so we could congratulate each other?? like say one nice thing about each other. i think its also bc people were transferring or entering school so she wanted to celebrate that but it was a little awkward sometimes cause its kind of an awkward activity. michael had something to say about everyone. it was like oh god LOL when michael had to be like “well actually im not going to ucsb lolol” but everyone was cool about it

i think j u - stin is…….. so……….. like…… the things he does sometimes is just like… can you stop…….. hes a homie but he can be really self unaware and esp w like compliments… he doesnt know how to give or receive compliments. everything he said was like accidentally passive aggressive or like also rude while complimenting. i was like inwardly cringing so hard when he was telling w -i -ll that he was glad he came out of his shell bc when he first met him he was an angsty teenager who like didnt talk to anybody… and wil l was kinda like um wut and instead of justin even noticing that he wasnt giving a good compliment he like repeated the rude things he said to try to clarify them several times LOL and it was like how do i make this end… that was prob the most awkward “compliment” but he kept doing that in genera throughout the dinner

also in general i think w that group im not good at getting group attention so sometimes ill get ignored when i talk or like interrupted/someone will talk over me. and its not intentional and i dont mind but it can get kinda frustrating like HEY HELLO how do i butt into the conversation

i really like d ee, w il ls mom though. she is truly mom goals and a good role model LOL shes like smoked a bowl w us and says she trusts us w will and thats why she lets us stay super late at their house. and she def buys us way too much food 😭 moms r too good for this world

anyways so we went to meet mich aels friends to go the bars p late in downtown campbell. the area is so o o o o o white white people. hardcore reminded me of ithaca w the culture (dancing, people, outfits, vibe) the first bar was kind of a club, w hella loud music and shit. people were goin DOWN on the dance floor but i was jus like whoo

i was way too fuckin shy to dance or anything esp w michaels friends. i think i got ignored a little bit bc michaels friends werent rly good w introducing us to the other people, especially me -_-

it was jus kinda like talking and hangin out, forming different groups all the time

one girl s h a -nnon talked to me for like a straight coupla minutes about her tattoo and i was just glad i was having like a normal social experience so i was just like “oh wow!” and “thats so cool” and “i feel it” and “yeah for sure”

we moved bars and in line there was another girl who talked to me about like her toxic friend and her crazy sister and not being able to take shrooms. she seemed like she had a lot of shit going on all the time but she sort of just rolled her eyes at everything and i kinda liked her LOL

the other bar was a lot quieter and people could talk to each other. raymo-nd opened up about some intense shit he went through esp post breakup, his job, some life advice

mic hael caught up a lil bit w his los gatos friends who i got to meet after he talked about them so much! he like left me for a lil bit to go get drinks for them and they were like lowkey very uninterested in me esp since their other friends came so i kinda dipped to be w michael

afterwards we went to ta - ylors house. he had the cutest cat, misty. a ping pong ball fell and she started playing w it 💕💕

and also like saratoga boys r proactive and productive. r a-ymond was hungry af so he just started cooking immediately and some girl helped/flirted w him but i was so impressed. he cooked like 50 potatickers and then some orange chicken for everyone which was hella nice. and then he did the dishes later w ta -ylor. and near the end of the night ta-ylor and ra-y mond and maybe some other people just started cleaning up and i was like yis i love this. and i cleaned up after myself. that left a really strong positive impression on me.

michael and i also did a line of coke but coke is kind of whatever for me. it feels kinda like milder coffee w an emphasis on the restless. im down to keep trying some and maybe do a lot more than just one line and see if i like it a third time LOL

its not like all of the convos i had wasnt interesting but since i didnt rly have anything i wanted to talk about, i had a boyfriend, and im asian i felt like i diidnt rly have any input and couldnt rly take iniaitive in engaging people LOL

like what the fuck would i even talk about???? do you watch anime?? do you go to raves???? is my outfit weird???

i just hate feeling that uninteresting and like i left no impression and i especially didnt want to seem like the timid awkward asian girl -_- i think i was like fine and a normal person overall but ive never……… been that before in a group. like a normal quiet person. LOL

its not like it was bad, although sometimes there were boring lulls, and overall it was a good night but it wasnt exactly my crowd so it wasnt a lot of fun

i think if we had been there for pregaming it wouldve been a lot of fun bc i just like games :D i think we’re going again tonight and i think i can like try to look better, be less tired, dress more white, and overall feel more confident and do a lil better

[datingdummies-blog]

Crazy Hot Man Matrix

Here we go men, you created one about us women so now its your turn!  I started this blog sharing the video that created my inspiration.  The crazy hot women matrix of course.  Yes I’m sorry to say ladies, but we are absolutely out of fucking control sometimes.  Even I myself have moments where I am envisioning myself from afar as I watch myself hurdle so far off the cliff and I’m screaming to myself “no” but it’s too late.  The damage and words have been said and the crazy that is within me, has been done.  However with that said I have encountered some equally just as crazy men.  So please stay tuned and read on to find out how the crazy hot man matrix really breaks down.  Also keep in mind us girls have a lot more categories and put you into a bit more of a complex system than what you men tend to put us in.  

So first I should break down the scale itself for you.  We have 1-10 hotness on the bottom and we measure your crazy also from 1-10 that you will view on the side.  

First we have your “oh hell no zone.”  These men rate on a scale from 1-10 crazy and from 1-5 hotness.  These are your men you’re not even remotely physically attracted to and unfortunately for you men with all the dating apps available and swiping capabilities, the days of dating under a 5 are almost completely extinct for both sexes.  If I were you, I’d consider adopting a puppy, maybe even consider a full face lift?  Sometimes men with money are capable of pulling a girl out of his league but really those are the shallow, money hungry bitches and you’re literally buying the most expensive hooker you could find and to top it off she will probably sleep with anyone else but you and still continue to take you for your money.  Your loss boys, you probably missed out on a great girl in your league who would have done all the strange shit you liked and you ended up choosing the blonde girl who owns a new pair of boobs that you just so happened to purchase with your hard earnings.  Congratulations on the upcoming divorce.  She will undoubtedly take half your earnings and possibly even leave the court room hand in hand with the pool boy.  But hey, we all make mistakes right? Better luck next time. 

Now lets get to the logistics of the realistic part of the scale.  So for 9-10 crazy, and 5-10 hot you have your “Danger Will Robinson Zone.”  Don’t even go there.  These men are the men who talk way too often about the option of having a threesome with your mom (which has happened to me), they might have a tear drop tattoo or ten from their time spent in prison where they murdered someone for two juice boxes, a nude picture of one of the jail houses side bitches and a pack of smokes. Please know side bitch probably weighs somewhere heavy on the female matrix as well so this match equals nothing but absolute greatness.  I have also added for mainly comedic value men with serial killer names such as, but not limited to Jason, Freddy, Bill or even lets go as far as when you first meet him and he introduces himself as Leather Face, or Snake possibly even Viper.  I mean come on ladies I shouldn’t even have to mention it but you know you needed to hear it. 

 To finish up the danger zone I have to say that while I’m very nonjudgemental of fetishes, this one might kind of weird me out and is absolutely badge worthy of the danger zone material.  So first let me set the scene on this one.  You’re on a date, (probably someone from tinder) and things are going amazing.  Finally you meet a man who seems normal and sweet!  He even goes on to tell you stories asking at the end of telling them “where have all the good ones gone” while you internally (because we don’t want to scare him off) are screaming “HERE I AM…RIGHT HERE!!”  So in an effort to get to know you better he says lets take this back to my place, you agree and with ease are feeling good about this upcoming Netflix n’ chill moment where you will not be watching Netflix at all.  You head to his place, hopefully following in your own personal vehicle and arrive.  

You meet at the door and he prepares you for what you’re about to embark on.  He says “I have to preface you for what you’re about to see.  I am a sentimental man, and I have things that mean a lot to me that others might find odd.”  He opens the door and you are greeted with what seems like millions (truthfully maybe he only has 125.2 the point 2 comes from damaged) stuffed animals.  At first your mind will try and make excuses for this.  However digging deeper into this plushophilia world you notice holes.  Holes in places you wouldn’t imagine there would be holes in.  He now goes on to tell you he is what is known as a “yiff”.  Which for those of you not hip to the lingo, is a term in the furry fandom world that is short for having sex and enjoying porn and his beloved stuffed animals are center stage.  I mean do I even need to say the phrase?  The man is a fricken shit show, please run.  

The next category is 8-7 on the crazy zone and he’s a 5-7 hot.  This is your classic “he turned creeper on me” zone.  I feel this one might be self explanatory but lets go on to further discuss this zone in more depth.  There do happen to be different varieties of creepers.  One of which is the mild creeper.  He may be the guy who personally locks your door while looking at you in the eyes and says its for your safety.  Your head is saying he might rape me tonight.  Follow that gut girl, he’s weird.  Also please men, don’t hand feed us anything unless we know you and really like you.  It’s super weird.  Near creeper status,  which is why those have made the mild creeper list.  Being real though for two seconds because I’m incapable of being real much longer,  being creepy is more of a personal feeling women get. This girl has a discomfort or awkwardness when it comes to you and if you have hit this zone you should stop hard in your tracks.  You don’t have a prayer.  However the next woman that comes along might think you’re outrageously charming.  You just never know.  The last part of this part of the scale is the hot creeper.  I wish his name meant he was super hot and you didn’t see the crazy coming. But thats certainly not true.  He measures at the top of this scale because he did something that really weirded you out.  Guys you can do this simply by mass texting paragraphs of texts when she isn’t responding.  This is such a turn off for women.  If she isn’t texting back cease all texting to her.  I guarantee if you present her with a challenge you will go much further with her.  Don’t ever beg, if you ever get here you have lost her. She’s telling her friends as we speak that you’re a straight creeper.  Lastly, if you text her and she didn’t give you her number we have a couple of problems here.  You can probably understand why.  

Alright moving on, we have a 4-6 on the crazy scale, and a 5-7 hot.  This is your “maybe pile zone.” These guys are the men who have proclaimed there love to you or just not entertained you enough for them to care for you on a daily basis.  Men she entertains the thought of you, but she’s not wild about you.  If she was you’d certainly know it.  These are your tinder guys you have yet to meet but have talked to several times, your men who didn’t wow you on that first date but you’d maybe give them a second date if you got bored enough and lastly  the ones that just aren’t what you’re looking for but might be ok for one night.  This category also catches the men that you’re just not sure about in general.  Men please know you can move from this zone to any of the other upper categories.  You still have a chance.  She hasn’t put the negative label of creeper, danger or no go on you yet.  This is when you need to put some effort in.  This is also when men talk about women being hard to understand.  Were only hard to understand because we have put you in the I’m gonna mind fuck the shit out of him, maybe pile. Which is not meant to hurt you, it just means we don’t even freaking know.  Juries out on you, please do your best not to go the opposite way with this one  as its far to easy to turn into one of the men listed in the  negative zones. I believe in you, and have faith in you, just step it up and show your worth and you’ll be fine.  

A 1-4 crazy and a 5-7 hot this is our classic “Sorry Not Sorry Friend Zone”  Its very, very hard to move from this spot.  Women are pretty good at keeping you here if she’s classified you as a friend.  Know that you are probably sitting pretty here in this zone, I personally envision you drinking some virgin margarita while chilling with your white t-shirt and shorts on while she plays in her bikini in the water with the guy that took his shirt off and offered to pick her up and play chicken with the neighboring couple.  

Make some moves man, grow some balls.  You need to kiss a woman within the first or second date.  Any further you have indefinitely been classified as a friend, also when she asks you to a lunch date on date one or two or when she pays her own tab you have been friend zoned.  Im sorry, not sorry.  You can absolutely move from this zone, but its insanely hard if you have been put there, to get out  Stranger and more awesome things have happened though.  

 Next were moving on to the hotter type guys, we start with the 9-10 hotness but he’s a 7-8 on the crazy scale.  This is your “Im just here for a good time zone.”  You will not be marrying this guy.  You fully know going into it already he’s not meant to be in your life or long term guy.  He’s the good time boy, and you’re all about that good time.  This is your fear of commitment men, one night stands, your peter pans (the guy who doesn’t grow up for those that haven’t read my earlier blogs), the guy you met in the bar that one time, the guy that texts you on occasion and frankly just anyone you wouldn’t want to introduce your family or friends to. Again, this man can move out of this zone but if the woman feels that thats all he is or ever was or will be, he will most likely remain right there.  Its safe and comfortable for everyone involved. You’re not here for a long time, just a good time as the song states and sums up this part of the blog perfectly. 

Next we have our once again 9-10 hot, and our 6-7 on the crazy scale.  This is “Hey, were dating now zone”  We will and want to introduce these men to our parents, friends and possibly even kids if it gets serious enough.  You see a future with this man indefinitely and he has proven to have husband like qualities you could see being with for awhile.  You have fun when you’re together and fight rarely when apart.  You’re crazy about him, and he’s crazy about you. Putting this in more vulgar terms which just so happens to be one of my favorite ways to put things, this is the person you see sleeping with for a long time!  He satifys you sexually, mentally and emotionally.  You feel whole.  He’s also even grown to be a good friend of yours and someone you have built some trust into.  Sometimes you get your good time boy and hey were dating now zone guy twisted.  Its not your fault, one person just thought more of what it was than the other person.   Move on to the next hoping he will remain on the same page as you.  

We are still in the 9-10 hot category and this man weighs a easy 5-6 on the crazy scale.  This is the “he actually put a ring on it zone.”  He found you so charming and beautiful and the full package so much so that he decided he wanted all you had to offer enough to last him a lifetime.  He could have also knocked you up and now feels “its the right thing to do” regardless you got the ring.  These men have turned full domestic on you.  He does dishes, makes you sandwiches and even takes your temperature rectally when he thinks you have a fever and you feel fine.  Ok yeah, I went to far with that one.  But really you’ve got yourself a man who doesn’t drive you entirely crazy, he’s sweet, cares and loves you and wants to try this being with one human for a lifetime thing.  You’re a lucky woman to find him and I’d keep him safe if I were you.  Lots of women kill for the guy who even thinks or makes that plunge saying he would want to be with one woman his entire life.  Even if that woman is not her.  

Remaining in the 9-10 hot area, but this one rates a 3-5 crazy on the scale.  This my friends, is your “Pegasus Zone.”  This is your man who doesn’t actually exist.  He feels for you emotionally, without being too sensitive. He cares for his body and doesn’t ever let himself go or grow a beer gut.  He is ready to go when you are, for all of your sexual needs. Lets not kid ourselves either, have you seen the package on a pegasus?  He as well enjoys oral.  He draws you baths when you’ve had a hard day, even lights candles and offers massages and doesn’t expect sex afterward unless,  of course you’re game.  This man is your pegasus and earns his name by being so unbelievably in tune with your needs that you wonder if he’s even real.  Please much like the unicorn, study him, catch him, replicate him, and feed him plenty of bacon to keep him alive and happy.  Don’t let this one go, you’ll never find another.  He is rare.  

I know you’re ready for the finale here, lets wrap this puppy up and put a bow on it with the last and final category.  This is your 9-10 hot, and you’re 1-2 crazy.  He measures 1-2 mostly because you understand him so well.  You know his ins and outs and you know how to please him emotionally and mentally.  Mostly because its what you’d like someone to do for you.  You have caught yourself a true blue, no doubts about it gay man!  He in tune with you as much as you are in tune with him.  Congratulations honestly, I have said several times I could totally be game to outsource my sexual needs and raise a cute little family with a stud like hot gay man.   People would awe at us as we walked by, our family pictures would be on point because he’s fabulously awesome and fierce.  He understands your needs and grants you time to outsource your sexual desires of course you need to keep it on the down low because we don’t want to alarm the children.  You will have to also understand his needs for someone who isn’t you, and its not you because you have a vagina.  Regardless, you will go home that night, watch a chick flick and fall asleep with your head on his shoulder in heavenly matrimony.  Its not realistic but sure is sweet to think about isn’t it ladies?

That wraps this up, however I must state that just because I am the author of this piece doesn’t exactly mean I agree with everything said here.  Again its mostly like the original, was only meant for comedic value, not to hurt or harm anyone.  I also leave you women with the advice that when classifying the 9-10 hot on this scale please know that could mean he started as the 6 or 7 to you and made his way to your 9-10 on the hot scale.  The hottest men are not always the 9 or 10 on this scale. He changes your views by having an amazing personality or a sense of humor a woman would die to have in her life daily.  Men when I talk about hotness it doesn’t necessarily mean physically, it means the full package.  Mentally, Physically and Emotionally.  Now you may continue your regular daily life knowing the world is at balance again.