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quietmyfearswith · 3 years

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new year’s day ; andy barber x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 3,960 words

warnings — swearing, mentions of active sex life, SMUT, degradation, sir kink, choking, oral smut (receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex (pls use protection), slapping, name calling, drinking champagne off of one’s body, fluff at the end?? porn without plot lol

pairing — andy barber x fem!reader

a/n — HAPPY NEW YEAR! im still high on my andy feels so yeah,, lmk what yoou think!

masterlist

“Fuckin’ hell my eyes hurt,” Y/N groaned out as she rubbed her palms on her eyelids, as if she was massaging the stress away. Rose could only chuckle at her friend’s distress, “Well I did warn you about how you shouldn't have gone to work today; you deserve to take a break once in a while you know?”

Cracking her knuckles once she was done rubbing her eyes, Y/N retorted, “Well it’s not like I had any New Year’s Eve plans so I decided why not go to work?” As she continued to torment her eyes with the light emitted from her desktop. Being her only real friend at the workplace, Rose took it as a responsibility to look after her; for she knew how she wasn’t really close with her family and her other closest friends were on the different side of the country. “Hey, I invited you to that party me and Agnes are going to!”

Tearing her straining eyes away from the screen, Y/N gave the brunette a pointed look, “You mean to say you invited me to party where I don’t know anyone but you and your girlfriend; which definitely guarantees that you’ll both leave me alone so you can fuck.”

Rose didn’t find it in herself to deny her allegation or defend her and her girlfriend’s active sex life; instead she could only give her a sheepish look as she joked, “Guess you’ve been spending too much time with Mr. Barber since you’re incredible at drawing conclusions and noticing patterns huh?” Seeing how much time she had spent with the mentioned lawyer over the past year, Y/N couldn’t help but nod and agree with her.

The soft chime of Rose's Favorite song rang and a cocky, “See! Can’t even wait an hour before you two get to be together,” was quickly being hushed by her friend. “Okay you have a point, we have a high sex drive — but can you blame us? And I need to leave early, stupid bitch burnt herself as she was baking.”

Chuckling without tearing her eyes away from the documents in front of her, Y/N greeted, “Yeah, yeah; don’t need to rub it in. Happy New Year’s Eve, babe.” Before heading to Mr. Barber’s office to sweetly ask to leave early, Rose went to where Y/N was seated and let their cheeks touch as their way of bidding adieu.

Andy was more than generous to allow Rose to leave the office early, “Go ahead and enjoy, you deserve it for being one of the few ones who chose to come in today,” He told her smiling form. Once she left his office, he loosened his tie and undid the top button of his button down shirt and let out a loud groan. Usually, this time last year he would be rushing to go home — if ever his work demanded his presence — in order to celebrate the New Year’s with his family. But now as he mourns the family he once had and lost it as his son was brutally killed by his ex-wife that had gone insane in disbelieving her son’s innocence was now serving prison for her crimes, he had nowhere to be.

After a couple of hours filled with silence and burying his head with paperwork, Andy noticed how there was a soft, melodious hymn coming from the other side of the office. The lawyer wasn’t necessarily alarmed, but he was curious about who was left working since there had only been 7 other people who decided to come in to work today; and to his knowledge they should have left by now.

He decided to check out who was left — but it really was an excuse to stretch his long, lean legs as he felt them cramping up a bit from being seated for too long — and was surprised to see the most diligent employee he’s ever met in his years of practicing law, “Ms. Y/N, what are you still doing here?”

Hearing his deep voice snapped her out of her concentration; seeing her boss in his less than organized state had her taken aback, “Oh Mr. Barber, I’m just doing some work on the Richards case.” Looking at the watch on his left wrist, he took note how it was a mere 15 minutes before the new year dawned on them. “No plans for the new year then?”

Deciding to test the waters she cracked a joke, “Are you talking about the holiday or the actual year? Because I have no plans for both.”Covering up her remark with a nervous chuckle, she was glad to see the older man wrinkle his eyes as he laughed out loud, “Well that makes the two of us; why don’t we grab a drink in my office?”

Eyes going wide and gasping silently, Y/N was pleasantly surprised at his offer but nevertheless nodded in agreement. Quickly shutting off her desktop, she moved out of her chair and decided to leave her footwear and floral kimono by her desk as she somewhat felt restricted by the light cloth. As she entered his post, she settled herself on the gray sofa he had placed near the office’s wall. Grabbing a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses, Andy sat beside her then poured them a drink.

“Never pegged you as a champagne guy, Mr. Barber,” She thanked him as he handed her a glass which she took a sip of; letting out a small moan of appreciation at the taste, the sound causing Andy to cross his right leg on top of the left in an effort to conceal his erection. “Please, call me Andy,” He cleared his throat as he took a sip of the liquor, “And whiskey and bourbon are my usual choices of poison; but since it’s the New Year, figured this was more appropriate.”

Y/N surprised the man beside her by drinking all of the champagne in one go and placed the now empty glass on the coffee table in front of them before turning to his gobsmacked expression and giggled, “Sorry, really need that one.” With his hooded eyes watching her intently, he drank some of his before answering, “Don’t be Y/N, it was quite a show.”

She could feel her wetness dampen the panties she wore with how good her name sounded as it left his lips, “Don’t think I ever heard you call me by my first name before.” Worried he crossed the line he was quick to fumble out an apology; but quickly stopped as he felt her hand on his thigh, “It’s okay, I’m not mad or anything. I really like it, actually,” She trailed off once she noticed how he seemed to have let out a quiet, but aroused purr. Tilting her head to the side with an amused expression plastered on her face, “You alright, Andy?”

Years of practicing law and appearing in courtrooms taught him not to lose composure; but with a simple touch and mention of his name had Andy forgetting how to remain calm and collected. But can you fucking blame him when the girl who walks around with so much grace and confidence — who also happens to be the subject of his filthy fantasies — is so close to him that he can almost feel her warmth piercing through his long-sleeved shirt. In that moment, he wasn’t sure if it was a wise or dumb decision to discard his suit jacket, but as their arms touched and he felt a surge of electricity run through his veins, he thought of himself as a fucking genius.

“I am, yeah,” Deciding to test the waters, he grabbed her hand that rested on her thigh and intertwined their fingers together; when she made no attempts at removing her hand from his he smirked, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but something tells me you want more than just this champagne I offered.”

Feeling her inhibitions disappear, she gave him a smirk of her own as she untangled her hands from his, “Well, I do want some more champagne,” Her finger was now tracing his lips as she moved to sit closer until she was now straddling his lap, “Maybe taste it from your lips?”

Silently, Andy brought the glass to his lips and downed the remaining sparkling drink; his free hand settled itself on the back of her neck, pulling her close to him until her lips touched his. As he bit her bottom lip, she opened her mouth and moaned out loud as she felt the alcoholic beverage enter her mouth. Both her hands caressed his bearded cheek as she drank up every last drop that he offered her. Groaning out loud when his mouth was now devoid of the drink, he let his tongue enter her mouth and asserted his dominance; something she willingly conceded to him. His hand on her neck traveled lower and rested on her bum, squeezing the soft flesh which emitted more moans from her.

“Been dreaming about this for so long,” His staff silently, mindlessly let out as she kissed him desperately. “Is that so?” He asked once he broke away their kiss, Y/N whined at the loss of his lips and confused with his question. Chuckling at her groggy state he squeezed both her cheeks with one hand, forcing her to focus on him and answer his question, “You said you’ve been dreaming about this, baby. Is that what you daydream about at work? Me fucking you so hard your dumb brain can’t even think straight?”

Letting out a pathetic whine, she could only nod her head enthusiastically, “Want that so fucking bad, sir.” He felt his cock harden even more at the title she called him; but he wasn’t even done with teasing her yet. “And that fantasy will come true; but first, stand up and strip for me, baby,” With a soft smack on her cheek, she stood up quickly and unzipped her dress. Andy watched her present her body for him as he poured another glass for himself.

Resting on the arm rest was the hand with the sparkling champagne, while the other was palming his erection as watched her push her dress down to the floor. “No bra? Just that poor excuse of underwear?” He moaned out as he observed the fabric that parts at the middle, teasing the paradise that awaits for his cock.

Lowering her gaze, as if bashful, at his filthy remarks before resuming her previous position of sitting on his lap with her hands moving to unbutton his button down. “Such an impatient little thing, aren’t you?” He clicked his tongue at her; to which she pouted as she stared at him with want written on her face, “I’m sorry, sir. What do you want me to do?”

“Ride my thigh like the slut you are, baby,” He commanded her without even thinking about it, which turned her on even more. Situating herself on his thick, lean thigh she moaned out loud as the fabric of her thong added even more friction. She began to ride him with slow but sharp movements, throwing her head back when she felt her wetness taint the fabric of his slacks, “How does it feel, baby?”

“Good, so good,” Her broken cries turned him on even more as he sipped on the champagne, enjoying the tingle it left on his tongue. “Do you trust me, baby?” Surprised at his question, she opened her eyes to look at him, her hip movements not faltering one bit. Upon seeing how serious he was she answered, “I do, Andy. I trust you.”

With a smirk, he then tipped the glass just above her breasts, allowing the liquid to run from her collarbones and down to her breasts. Gasping out loud when Andy runs his tongue on her skin, following the trail that the champagne took, “Don’t stop grinding on me, love,” He reminded her as his lips drank the liquid that landed on her nipple — subsequently sucking on the pebble-like flesh. Seeking purchase on his dark hair, Y/N continued rubbing herself on his thigh — his assault on her breast encouraging her to ride him even harder and faster.

“Time to drink some more,” Andy huskily spoke out as he poured some more of the beverage on her opposite breast causing the girl to stiffen a bit as she was taken aback by the sudden coolness on her breast. His tongue flattened against her skin, now more focused on kissing every inch of her skin instead of drinking up the liquor. His hand held her breast firmly, raising it a bit so he could suck on it and slurp the booze.

“Fuck, the champagne tastes even incredible on you, baby,” HIid praise got her flustered and she could only whine as she felt herself getting closer. “I’m so close, sir. Can I cum, please?” She fluttered her eyes at him sweetly, hoping he’d show her mercy; but his wicked smile and wink got her thinking she’d be shown the opposite of it. “Not yet, baby,” He was quick to shut her wails up with a smack on her breast, “Sit down on the sofa, baby.”

Even though she denied him her release, she followed his orders without a complaint — working with him provided her a clear picture of what happens when you don’t follow Andy’s orders, and it didn’t end well for everyone involved. As she sat down, she watched as the lawyer placed his glass on the table and reached for the bottle; poured some on her pussy. Y/N watched closely as Andy licked her clit, down to her hole. Without tearing his eyes away from hers, he inserted his tongue in her and tried to reach as far as his long tongue can go. “So good, Andy,” She grabbed onto his hair, pushing his face closer to her. The man was quick to smack her thigh, causing her to press her thighs more into his frame, “You know what to call me,” He warned.

“Sir,” She panted out, “Feel so good, sir.” Pleased with that, he rewarded her by rubbing his right thumb on her clit, making her moan even louder. Loving her blissed out sounds of pleasure, Andy began licking her ferociously; he drank up all of the champagne he poured and all the juices she had to provide. He inserted his left pointer and middle finger in her, taking her aback with the sudden simulation. Her thighs were shaking with how good he was making her feel, too weak to even grab onto his hair and her arms were now limp on her sides, “Sir, please! I’m so fucking close, please let me cum.”

Without tearing his mouth and hands from her he replied, “Then cum on my fucking tongue, you slut,” The vibrations adding more to the pleasure she felt. After a few more thrusts of his fingers, kitten licks of his tongue, she felt apart with a scream. Her thighs wrapped themselves around his shoulders, squeezing him so tight that she felt his beard tickle her delicate skin. Andy pulled out his fingers that were in her, replacing them with his tongue so he can gather all of her juices and drink some of them in. “You taste like fucking heaven, baby,” He groaned as he parted from her pussy, his fingers pushing her juices back inside her so he could use it as lube.

“Wanna kiss you, sir,” Her fingers touched the patch of facial hair above his lips, surprised with how it had her juices. Andy complied, giving her a brief, but sweet kiss. “Want you on your hands and knees, baby. Hold on to the back of the sofa okay?” Y/N couldn’t help but feel mushy with how gentle he was bossing her around — when she knew his next actions would be far from gentle.

Holding on to the back of the sofa, she used it to steady herself on her knees, bending slightly so she could arch her back to accentuate her ass. Andy quickly discarded his clothes before rubbing her pussy again and pushed some of her juices in, before entering in her pussy in one go. His forehead rested on her back as he groaned out, “Fuck baby you’re so tight. Been a while huh?” Anchoring himself on her hips, he slid in and out of her at a steady pace.

Y/N moaned out loud as she felt the back of her thighs meet Andy’s hips; he was thrusting into her with no remorse. Her hand travelled to her breast, switching between pinching the nipple or pulling on it. Grabbing her hair with one hand, the bearded man pulled her so her back was pressed firmly against his chest. You’d think that this would give Andy a difficult time to rut into her but it didn’t; instead it just made him drive his cock in her harder and faster, falling into a drum-like rhythm.

“Why are you fucking touching yourself, slut?” Feeling his breath on her ear turned her on more than she cared to admit and she couldn’t even string together a coherent response since the tip of his dick pushed into her g-spot, causing her to moan out loud. “You’re such a fucking mess that you can’t even think straight huh?”

Nodding pathetically was all the response Y/N could offer as she clawed on to Andy’s toned arms; the lawyer then decided to go all the way with his fun by wrapping his big hand around her neck, applying gentle pressure. “You don’t mind this do you, sweetheart?” Shaking her head no, Andy then smiled as he put more force on the sides of her neck as he rammed his cock in her until the tip of his cock repeatedly hit her bundle of nerves that made tears leave her eyes with how good everything felt. The other hand that wasn't wrapped around her throat then lowered itself on her clit, rubbing the hardened nub.

“If only you knew how hard you got me every time you came to work with a tight skirt or pants,” He breathed out against her ear, tickling her with his breath, “Giving me a perfect view of the shape of your ass,” And to emphasize his point he thrust so hard until his cock was all the way in and spanked her ass. “Walking around the office with so much fucking confidence,” He recalled the time wherein she called out an officemate for talking lewdly about her — that caused him to jerk one off in the office bathroom. “But now you’ve been reduced to a dumb cock hungry whore for me,” She wailed out in agreement as his hand squeezed her throat so tight to the point she was now gasping for breath as his other hand wrapped around her tit, loving the weight and feel of it on his hand, grabbing onto it to move it up and down his hand.

“Are you gonna cum again, baby? Gonna cum around my thick cock?” He could feel her walls clinging on to his cock even more, making it difficult to thrust in her but he was determined to keep on sliding his cock in and out. “Yes, so close, please let me cum,” She trailed off as he abandoned his hold on her tit and throat and returned to her hips so he could maneuver her and ram his cock swiftly and harder. “Cum then you, slut. Let me feel you milk my cock,” Was all the permission she needed before she dug her nails into his forearms as came with a scream, “Thank you, sir!”

Even as she was cumming, Andy thrust in and out of her; though his thrusts weren’t as powerful and quick. Once he felt her spasms die down, he slid all the way inside her and came with a groan. They both could feel his cock twitch as it released his load inside her, filling her up with his hot semen. Littering kisses on her back, Andy could feel his regular breathing return — as was hers.

Carefully, Andy pulled out of her, “Can you stand up for a bit, baby?” She nodded and stood up from her position, the lawyer guiding her to sit by the arm rests. Still stuck in her post-orgasm haze, she watched as he moved the coffee table away and transformed his sofa into a bed. Grabbing the spare bed sheet, blanket, and pillows he kept in the office — in case he had to spend the night in the office — he quickly made the bed before he helped Y/N to lay down with him, wrapping the blanket over their naked bodies.

“How you feeling?” It was amazing how he had a quick change of demeanor; Y/N was lazily tracing over Andy’s face with her finger, making the most out of this intimate moment. “Feel good, really good. Always wanted someone to fuck me the way you did.”

Her curt response had him chuckling, loving the way she was being open with him and the way she traced over his features. “Well I’m glad I fulfilled this fantasy of yours.”

Suddenly, Y/N felt small and insecure; was this a one time thing? Just something to release his frustrations and a fantasy of hers that's been fulfilled? Furrowing her eyebrows, she failed to mask her worry as she wondered, “So this is just a one time thing then?”

Hating what she just said, Andy kissed the wrinkle in between her eyebrows as he spoke, “I don’t want it to be. I really want to be with you; if you’ll have me, of course.” A small smile rested on her lips as her eyes brightened up, “I’d want that and you. You’re so amazing, Andy. I admire your strength, resilience, and determination. For someone who could easily give up in life you choose to carry on and look forward to what the future holds. It’s just a bonus that you have a thick cock and know how to use it.”

Her small speech had him chuckling and kissing her nose, pulling her close against him, “What I said earlier was true; I love how you walk around the office like you own the place. You take no shit from people and do your job damn well. Plus, I love your music taste as well.”

Grinning at him she jeered, “Wow can’t believe you still sweet talk your way even if it’s not in a courtroom setting.” Andy laughed at her retort and just grazed his fingertips on her sides, tickling her so he can hear her giggle. Once both their laughter died down, their lips met for a sweet, passionate kiss. “We have quite a mess to clean up tomorrow, Andy,” Y/N reminded him as she referred to the champagne bottle, glasses, their clothes, and his sofa bed — their whole situation, really.

“I don’t care,” He whispered as smiled at her, feeling so much lighter and better having been haunted by his personal demons for so long, “I don’t mind doing anything as long as it’s with you.”

Her heart fluttered with his simple statement; she was then reminded of the new year countdown. Reaching out for his wrist, she checked the time and noticed how a few minutes had passed 12. “Happy new year, Andy,” She greeted him with a peck on his lips.

A short, sweet kiss was returned to her as he planted his lips on hers again — quickly getting addicted to her, “Happy new year, baby. Can’t wait to spend this year with you by my side.”

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186 notes · View notes

chicago-reeed · 4 years

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Detroit Evolution

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

#fun game: watch the film and try to guess what each of these crazy ramblings is referring to #im still reeling from all of that #I think I need to watch it again #yes that sounds like a plan #this is kind of like a review #if it were written by an emotional crackhead who got zero sleep last night #also #happy easter babes #if u celebrate it of course #what did we do to deserve this film #jfc there are still tears in my eyes #I need to watch it again asap #Detroit evolution #octopunk media #reed900

144 notes · View notes

yoon-ing · 6 years

Text

Thin Line (m)

Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 6.8k

It doesn’t take a big step to cross over a fine line.

Crimson red tints your cheeks, embarrassment your shade of blush for the night as you sit on the floor with a group of friends (and a so-call friend who has just outed your crush to the entire group), playing a game of Truth and Dare that has your skin on fire at the hand of Park Jimin who decides it’s his duty as your best friend to announce the name of your crush, who also happens to be your roommate and also happens to be sitting directly beside you.

“You’re supposed to say your crush,” you snare through your teeth at the boy who sits across from you, his eyes glazed with intoxication and arched with the stupid smile that’s on his face. It’s Jimin’s turn, choosing Truth after having to lick the underside of Taehyung’s foot sprinkled with hot sauce in the last round. ‘Who’s your crush?’ was blurted out as the first instinct of any Truth or Dare player, having all eyes on him, until his words are directing everyone’s attention to you.

“I don’t have one!” he says defensively. “So, I said yours!” is his pathetic attempt at an excuse and you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“That’s not how it works!�� you respond with your jaw clenching, hands balling into fists.

“Oh, why so defensive, Y/N?” Jungkook teases, “I guess it’s true.”

“Shut up Jeon,” you shoot at him, glaring in his direction for a moment before returning your death stare to Jimin.

“Yoongi’s a cool guy! What’s so wrong about crushing on him!” Jimin is just making it worse at this point and all you wish is that your physical existence in time and space would evaporate into nothing more than particles in the atmosphere, sparing you from the embarrassment and teasing that pursues, your drunkards of friends having a little too much fun, and definitely too much to drink.

“Y/N and Yoongi sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g” is being chanted and you can’t believe your pinkened ears because you’ve defied all laws of physics and have literally just discovered time travel, being sent back to middle school where you’re surround by immature little pricks, making a big deal just because you like a boy.

“I’m going home,” you mumble, taking one last, long swig of tequila before pushing yourself off the floor and haphazardly making it to your feet, the alcohol hitting you hard once your feet are the only part of you planted on the floor after spending the better half of the night sat on your ass.

Yoongi is quick to stand, not a drop of alcohol in his system because of his car out front, and he steadies your swaying figure.

You try to pull away from him, waving him off as you (unsuccessfully) try to convince him you’ll be okay on your own, not needing this small interaction to be more ammunition for the group of idiots still sprawled out on the floor.

“I’m your ride home,” he says when you tell him to sit back down.

And the ‘Ohhh, Y/N and Yoongi are going home together’ is met with the finger as your only response before you turn on your heel and walk, or rather stumble, away.

The burning on your skin has definitely sobered you up enough to think somewhat clearly, although your body lags behind and physically you’re pretty disorientated, and the embarrassment is suffocating, especially now that you and Yoongi are alone.

He laughs it off when you profusely apologize for Jimin’s behaviour, insisting that he was too drunk to even know what was coming out of his mouth, and that his words hold no truth.

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” Yoongi says half way through the drive, probably unable to put up with the apologizes that spew from your mouth. A ruffle of your hair has your lips smacking shut, you feel like a child, especially after tonight’s events and you can feel your heart cracking into pieces as if the universe herself has taken a chisel to it, letting you know that you’re nothing more than a kid to Yoongi, someone he likes to tease and poke fun at, someone who won’t have his heart the way he does yours.

The patterned fleece blankets and poster cluttered walls tell you you’re in your room, tucked into your own bed, where you must have spent the night, but the throbbing headache that pounds your skull from the inside out doesn’t tell you how you got here. Your memory is in shatters with edges so sharp that the only thing you can feel is splitting pain in the place of your mind; you wish you can say last night is a blur, but it’s not even that, holding no place in your recollection of yesterday and it is as non-existent as your phone seems to be at the moment. Your arms flail beneath the sheets in search of the device and you’re like a butterfly fluttering about, trying to break out of your cocoon looking for freedom, except it’s your blanket that has you trapped and you’re not nearly as graceful as nature’s bursts of colour.

Hooking your chin over the edge of the mattress, sweet victory rings in your ears in the form of muffled buzzing, paired with the dim light of an LED screen coming from beneath the thin sweatshirt you must have discarded on the floor at some point during the night. Snatching up your phone, you’re met with a number of notifications, namely from Jimin and worry sweeps across your features as your thumb sweeps across the unlock button. There are over ten messages from him, some still coming in as you pull up your conversation with him, scrolling up to where you last responded and you hope that his words will give you some insight to last night’s events because you’re blind to what happened between dinner and right now.

Jimin Park that ass [12:47pm]

Y/N

hey

im so sorry

i didn’t mean to say anything last night

i was drunk and wasn’t thinking

when am i ever thinking??

god

i feel like such a jackass

i should’ve kept my mouth shut

it wasnt my secret to tell

im sorry, i hope i didn’t fuck everything up for you

please tell me what i can do to make it up to you

i’ll do anything i swear

Insight is the opposite of what you get because these texts just make you more confused. Why is Jimin apologizing? What did he do to be sorry for? You two have been friends for so long that there’s hardly anything you can do to offend each other, or so you think.

The next message rolls in and everything is clicking, your brain moving like clockwork as everything comes back into place and your memory is clearer than day on a sunny morning.

Jimin Park that ass [12:48pm]

if you want me to talk to Yoongi and tell him i was just kidding whne i said you have a crush on him ill do it, i’ll convince him its not true

It’s as if you hadn’t even drunk last night, your memory sharper than ever with the scene replaying in your mind, the reel rewinding and playing over and over again, taunting you in your embarrassment and dread.

Yoongi knows you like him. Yoongi knows you like him. Min fuckin’ Yoongi knows that you like him.

It’s the only thought that goes through your brain, unable to process anything else because oh my god Min Yoongi knows, he knows!

You decide you’ll deal with Jimin later, suppressing all violent urges to march over to his house and ring his neck like a rag, and instead you simply hold down the power button on your phone until the device shuts down. The phone is released from your hand, landing with a loud thud on the floor, unable to care at this point and you let your eyelids flutter shut, taking a deep breath in an attempt to rid yourself of the tension that is pinching every single one of your nerve endings. Breathe in, breathe out, you tell yourself, but your body tenses and the next thing you know, you’re burying your face in a pillow to muffle the scream that you’re belting out of your lungs; your arms and legs flail around like a fish out of water and you kick your blankets about in a fit of frustration and desperation. The screaming comes to an end and you’re sure the pillow didn’t do much to conceal the sound that reverberates throughout the apartment, but you don’t really care that anyone within the vicinity of the building probably heard you because it’s only Yoongi who you’re self-conscious around and after the whole secretly crushing on him, then not so secretly crushing on him, nothing else really matters.

Laying in bed aimlessly screaming into the void won’t do anything to help your case, so you decide to bite the bullet, face Yoongi once and for all because you’re going to have to eventually, you can’t live your life hiding from your roommate. And who knows, maybe he doesn’t even remember the conversation, or rather, Jimin spewing unfiltered words to no one in particular. Who are you kidding? Of course he remembers. He wasn’t drunk and he isn’t dumb. He knows the truth and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Creeping out of your room like a burglar in your own home, you keep on your toes, listening for any signs of Yoongi, trying to locate him before making any rash decisions. Biting the bullet quickly turns into trying your best to stay out of sight as you peep down the hall to see his bedroom door is left half open, the way he has it when he’s not inside and you mentally cross off his room from the list in your head of places to avoid. Your eyes travel to the bathroom, but the light is off and there’s no running water to be heard; bathroom: clear. The tension rises as you move further down the hall, sneaking towards the common living space where he’s most likely to be if not in his room, and you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your own ears, the reality of all of this crashing down as you think of what you’ll possibly say to him when you see him. ‘Sorry’? Or maybe ‘Haha fooled you’. Or even better, you won’t say a word, the both of you pretending nothing happened as you slowly drift apart until the inevitable day comes when you no longer speak, and you are freed from the lease of the apartment and you can move to the other side of the world where you won’t need to worry anymore.

The creaking floorboard beneath your foot brings your attention back to the task at hand and you freeze in your spot, hoping you haven’t been caught. There’s no call of your name or wary ‘who’s there’, and now that you think about it, there’s no other sound other than your shallow breathes and you realize that it’s much too quiet for Yoongi to even be home. This gives you the courage to move faster as you poke your head into the living room, finding the TV off and the couch untouched; whipping your attention to the kitchen, the only sign of life even passing through the space is a coffee mug left on the counter. You visibly relax when the still room confirms Yoongi is no where to be found and your stiff muscles are loosening in relief; at least this will buy you some time to figure out what you can possibly do to remedy the situation.

Your steps are less calculated and your demeanor less apprehensive; you can finally walk through your home as if you own the place, because well, you do. The fridge is where you head to first, grabbing a glass of water to cure the dehydration you’re sure is plaguing your body from the amount of alcohol consumed the night before. Next on your To-Do list is shower, you just want to wash away the filth you feel from last night and you hope that the mess that clouds your mind will be able to rise with the steam, clearing your head so you can spend a moment in peace.

Your moment of peace doesn’t last long once you’ve wiped away the fog from the mirror and you’re returning to your room to throw on an oversized sweater. It’s when you’re already one step from the kitchen that you hear keys jingle at the door, the lock clicks and panic crawls your skin; you’re trapped like a deer frozen in headlights and maybe if you run you can make it back to your room before he steps inside, but your brain and body forget how to function and you’ve gone from a deer in highlights to a deer plucked right out of its habitat because acting natural is the last thing you’re doing right now.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow when he catches you scampering around like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing and a forced smile is all you can muster in return.

“Um, hi?” he says once he’s stepped into the apartment, throwing his keys aside and toeing his shoes off.

He has a plastic bag in his hand but you can hardly pay attention to that because you’re dumbstruck by his simple attire of black jeans and a plain white tee, the clothing adorning his body in a way that makes him look like he just walked out of a magazine and you can’t help but let your eyes linger on his collar bones that poke out from his loose shirt. Your gaze continues to trace his every feature, working your way up to take note of the cap you bought him last Christmas that has his dark hair pushed back, allowing his brows that are normally hidden behind bangs to nicely frame his face. It’s like you’re in a trance until the naturally pouted lips that have you completely captivated are moving to form words that you don’t quite catch and you shake yourself out of the daze to focus on what he has to say.

“You okay there?” Yoongi asks with the slightest hint of amusement hidden in the arch of his brow.

“I- uh, yeah,” you manage to say, still not completely back to your senses.

“Are you sure? Because you were staring,” he casually mentions as he strolls into the kitchen and places the bag down on the counter.

“No I wasn’t,” you say back too quickly and you mentally slap yourself.

“A little shy, aren’t we?” His tone makes him seem cocky and the lop-sided smile makes it even more so.

Your at a loss for words because although Yoongi’s smugness hardly ever comes as a surprise to you, it has never been aimed directly at you and your mind is in a frenzy as you try to comprehend what’s happening.

“It’s alright,” Yoongi begins when you leave him without a response, “it’s normal to get shy around your crush.” He finishes his sentence with a wink that leaves you gawking at him because never would you have expected Yoongi to be so bold in his actions, playing with your feelings so thoughtlessly.

“Since when were you a douche bag?” is the first sentence you’re able to form since Yoongi stepped through the door, and it’s a damn good one because what has gotten into Yoongi? You’d expect this behaviour from other members of the male species, but not from Yoongi; he’s a close friend, close enough to know which lines not to cross and which buttons not to push. But today something seems to be malfunctioning and you think you need to hire a repair man to fix your friend or maybe you can just get a new one all together.

“Aw, Y/N, I’m just teasing, there’s no need to get upset.”

His words only infuriate you further and you channel all of your anger into your clenched fists, clamping your lips shut to keep you from lashing back and you decide to be the bigger person as you turn on your heel and storm off towards your bedroom.

You don’t make it over the threshold in time to relax and Yoongi is just half a step behind you, calling out to you as you rush through the doorway.

Spinning around to face him, you can’t keep your cool any longer. “Leave me alone, I hate you!” you blurt out, childlike in your manner as you attempt to slam the door shut almost as if you’re a kid all over again and you’re throwing a fit over some silly mishap.

But Yoongi’s reflexes are fast and his hand shoots up in time to halt the door in its tracks, pushing it back open to be face to face with you.

“There’s a thin line between hate and love, darling,” he remarks with a voice as soft as velvet, the words rolling off his tongue so smoothly. You catch the corner of his mouth twitching up into a smirk before he leans in close, bringing his lips to your ear to say his next words. “And there’s a thin wall between our rooms.”

You can feel your face drain of all colour at the insinuation while simultaneously setting your skin on fire in utter embarrassment and it feels as if your flesh is wax melting off onto the floorboards, seeping into the cracks how you wish you could. The smugness is thick in his voice and it’s clear that he means exactly what you think; your little secret isn’t so secret anymore.

He pulls away just enough to look you in the eyes, his gaze intimidating but captivating all at once and you can’t bring yourself to look away. “You really thought I didn’t know? Every little sound, every moan, every time you called out my name – I heard it all, Y/N. It was torture sitting there in my room listening to you touch yourself when it could’ve been me touching you instead.” He pauses, his eyes darkening at his next words. “Tell me, how many fingers did you have inside of you when you were imagining it was me?”

You’re at a loss for words, but what Yoongi has in mind doesn’t need any because instead of saying anymore, he’s leaning down low and tilting your chin up, capturing your lips in a kiss that you’ve only ever had in your dreams. Everything stops and you feel like a cliché in a teenage movie; you’re frozen in time and space and the only thing that matters is here and now, you and Yoongi. It takes a moment for you to come back to your senses, realizing that this is actually happening, Yoongi is kissing you right now and you should probably kiss him back.

Snaking your arms around his neck for leverage, Yoongi groans into your mouth when you pull yourself closer to deepen the kiss and his hands automatically find their way around your waist to hold you flush against his body. Eagerness has your lips parting and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to let his tongue slip into your mouth, greedy to get a better taste of you and it’s messy and rushed but perfect in every way. Somehow his hat is on the floor and your fingers thread through his hair, his own fingers finding their way to the hem of your sweater to get under the material; his hands are cold against your flushed skin, heightening the sensation of each of his movements as he rubs and squeezes at your flesh, working his way to your ass. His firm hand massages your bottom and you’re breaking the kiss to moan out in pleasure, your hips buck forward and you begin to grind on the bulge forming in his pants.

The sounds are like music to his ears, not muffled behind closed doors and drywall, but loud and clear as you whimper at his every touch and Yoongi thinks he can get used to this. He’s quick to pepper kisses along your neck, biting and gnawing in all the right places, anything to hear you whimpering and with every moan all that goes through his mind is ‘mine, mine, mine’. He wonders what other noises he can get you make and he’s greedy to find out as soon as possible, hooking his fingers under your sweater to pull the fleece over your head.

Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra beneath the fabric and he stares at you almost in disbelief. “You’ll be the death of me,” Yoongi breathes out, his eyes raking over every curve of your body until a flash of darkness crosses over them and they glaze over in desire. It feels like an eternity with the way he’s looking at you, admiring you, before he’s attacking your lips, hungry for more and he takes a step forward, the two of you stumbling to the other side of the room. This kiss doesn’t last as long because you’re just as impatient as Yoongi and your roaming hands find their way to the hem of his shirt just as the back of your legs come in contact with the mattress and your knees buckle to fall back on the cushion. The eagerness has Yoongi practically ripping the shirt off of his own back before he climbs up on the bed, crawling on top of you as you pull yourself up the length of the bed. Lips lock and you’re chest to chest, skin to skin to finally feel Yoongi against you, touching you in ways you’ve only ever imagined.

Yearning for more, you’re no longer in control of your body when your hips begin to move against his, looking for any kind of relief from the aching desire deep within your core. The dry humping is short lived when Yoongi’s grip is pinning your hips to the mattress and his lips break away from yours to trail down your jaw, neck, and chest; licking and sucking every part of your exposed skin. The hand on your hip doesn’t hesitate to find its way to your panty clad cunt, and your mind almost goes blank when Yoongi’s thumb begins to massage your clit through the fabric. You’ve long ago soaked through the material and Yoongi can’t hide his satisfaction that has a hum leaving his lips once he’s face to face with the cotton that clings to your folds with your arousal.

“Yoongiiiiii,” you whine out in the way you’ve done so many nights before.

His eyes flash up at you and you can see the way he’s riled up, desire flaring in his irises. “Say it again,” he says almost as a demand with his voice lowering and you don’t hesitate to whimper out his name when he’s puts more pressure on your clit, rubbing harsh circles into the bundle of nerves.

‘Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi,’ escapes your lips in between heavy breaths and the sound alone has him worked up almost as much as you although you’ve yet to lay a finger on him. Yoongi’s patience wears thinner and thinner with each moan of his name until it’s non-existent and he rids you of your panties in seconds, finally getting a look at your bare body in all its glory.

A single finger slides up your slit, collecting the juices that are already leaking out and all you want to do is shy away when Yoongi puts the digit in his mouth to get a taste, but his grip on your thigh keeps your legs open and exposed for him. He sucks it clean as if your arousal is the most delicious thing he has ever had the pleasure to taste on his tongue and the sight sends shivers down your spine; a lick of his lips and a flash of a smirk are the last things you see before his face is buried between your legs and you feel as if every tension in your body is being released. You gasp out at the sudden sensation of Yoongi’s mouth on your folds and your eyes screw shut while your fingers get tangled in his hair. He runs his tongue up and down your slit, getting lost in the taste until he stops at your clit, licking and sucking in a way that has you mewling beneath him. His fingers find their way to your entrance and there’s no more time for teasing because he pushes two in without warning and the stretch feels so good you’re tugging at Yoongi’s hair, pulling him closer if that’s even possible, before grinding into his face. This has him growling against you and the vibration mixed with the quick thrusting of his fingers almost has you losing it.

With a cry of his name, you’re clenching around nothing when he pulls his fingers out from your walls; his jaw slackens and tongue flattens, and he lets you ride out your high on his face, drowning him in your cum that he’s eager to lick up.

Exhaustion washes over you almost as hard as your orgasm did and you release your hold on Yoongi, your body going limp as your bones and muscles feel as if they are melting into the mattress. You fight off the forces that anchor your body, that’s more Jell-O than human, to the bed just enough to lift your head and find Yoongi peeking up at you. His rounded eyes make him look cute despite the aftermath of your climax smeared across his face and he looks so innocent it’s almost deceiving. Yoongi keeps his curious gaze locked on yours as he leans down and licks one big swipe up your slit, mischievousness creeping its way onto his face as you wriggle around at the uncomfortable sensation of overstimulation.

“Yoongi, stoppppp,” you playfully whine, dragging out the syllables as he continues with kitten licks in between his lighthearted laughter. Your legs lock around his head in hopes of hampering his movement, but his fingertips poking at your sides in light tickles have you loosening your grip enough for him to move.

“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart,” he says, his voice losing all playfulness and going back to gruff and husky with an undertone of lust.

Yoongi sits up on his knees, lifting your legs with him and your ankles lock behind his neck as he manages to maneuver out of his pants.

Your mouth goes dry at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking, desperate for attention that you’ll very gladly give it. He takes his member in his hand and you swallow hard as he slowly pumps it, watching as the bead of pre-cum drips from the tip and his thumb rolls it over his head.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you have a taste later,” Yoongi says smugly, and you have to forcefully break your stare away from his dick to meet his eyes. You’re all but drooling and with the way he stares at you with a cocky smirk pulling at his lips, you know your every thought is written across your face.

Having enough of the chit chat, Yoongi leans in closer with you legs still in the air, practically folding you in half, and if you knew you’d be testing your flexibility today, you definitely would have stretched before hand. Your legs rest on his shoulders and he groans in approval when he sees your cunt glistening for him once more; it’s not surprising that you’re wet already with all the filthy thoughts of his cock going straight to your core.

Yoongi’s breath comes out heavy when finally there’s contact between his tense member and your slick folds and he can no longer restrain himself, positioning his head at your entrance and giving you a moment’s notice before he’s slamming into you. It’s as if the wind has been knocked out of you and you grasp at the sheets to ground yourself because if you thought the stretch of his fingers was otherworldly, this sends you traveling through space and time to another dimension. There’s no holding back the cries of pleasure that pour from your lips when he begins to thrust and you yell out his name in ways you only wished you could every time you were tucked away between closed doors, fingers buried within yourself, calling out to him in a soundless whimper. But there’s no holding back for you or Yoongi, moaning out his name relentlessly as he responds in the form of grunts each time his hips collide with your skin, pounding into you like he’s a starved man and you’re his saving grace.

Your second orgasm comes as a tsunami, as if the ocean floor is cracking open and unleashing the sheer force of the natural disaster in the form of unmeasurable bliss. The sun and moon play tug of war with every gravitational pull and waves of pleasure surge through your body with each roll of his hips, leaving you to float off into oblivion as Yoongi chases his own high that has long pushed him over the edge, hardly grasping at reality when his seed fills you and slick, lewd sounds mix in between heavy breathes and uncontrolled moans.

Exhaustion hits you hard once the adrenaline dies down and Yoongi is practically dead weight curled around your body in a way that conveys so much innocence that it’s almost unbelievable that this is the same man that a few moments earlier was balls deep within you. His head rests on your breasts and the warm air that leaves his lips with each breath tickles your skin; the arm that is strewn carelessly across your hips tightens around you and you peer down to find Yoongi staring up at you.

“How long?” he asks after a moment of silently gazing at each other.

Your question of ‘how long what?’ is heard unsaid and he’s replying instantly.

“How long since you started touching yourself to the thought of me?”

The words sound vulgar now that your body has drained of all arousal and you’re returning to the shy mess you were earlier.

“Mmm,” you ponder for a moment with your lips pressed together; there’s really nothing to lose at this point. “A few months probably? Maybe more?” you say unsurely, but you’re not unsure at all, you remember very vividly when this began and you could tell him an exact date if he asked. “It was that day I accidentally… walked in on you naked.”

Except you didn’t really walk in on him, you more of ripped the sheets off of his bare body after barging into the room.

8:36. Shit. You slept through your alarms (stress on the ‘s’ because you set approximately 6 different alarms to avoid this exact situation). You bolt up from your bed that’s still scattered with notes from your late-night study session and flail around the room in a panic trying to collect your books and yourself. 8:41. You’ve managed to get semi-clean clothes on your body and a toothbrush in your mouth. Your school bag is slung over your shoulder and you burst into Yoongi’s room without a second thought. It’s a 10 minute drive to campus, Yoongi will take 6 minutes to get out of bed and make sense of your uncoherent squabbling, 1 minute for the elevator to get you to the garage where his car is parked; leaving you with 2 minutes to spare before exam papers are slapped down on your desk and the ‘no talking or you get a zero’ rule is implemented.

Still running numbers through your head, you frantically call out to Yoongi who is sound asleep while reaching for the blanket that has him tucked in. Your hand balls around the fabric and you tear it away from his sleeping form in one swift movement. One second you’re trying to figure out if you’ll make it to school in time to write your exam and the next, you’re staring point-blank at Yoongi’s erect cock.

Morning wood is no where close to being a new concept to you, it’s an odd, but natural occurrence that you came to terms with at some point between middle school and high school when you woke up next to your best friend, accusing him of being a pervert. But here and now? It’s a completely different situation. Yoongi, not only your roommate but also your long-term crush, can get you hot and bothered by just coming home sweaty after a workout. You’ve been able to suppress all the dirty thoughts that creep into your mind late at night, but naked Yoongi in your imagination is nothing close to naked Yoongi in real life. As much as you wish you could stand there and admire him in all his glory, the sight leaves you flustered, blushing violently when Yoongi startles awake and you apologize profusely, not looking back as you run out of the room.

You take an Uber to school and barely manage to make it through your exam without the image of Yoongi popping up in your mind every other question. You take the long way home, getting off the bus a few stops early to aimlessly walk through the park, stopping to buy coffee from the cozy shop on the corner, only returning home once you’re sure Yoongi is not there. That night, when the naughty images seep into your thoughts, you don’t have the willpower to deny it any longer and Yoongi’s name slips from your lips when your fingers slip into your walls.

“So I could’ve been listening to you moan my name for months?” Yoongi questions, shock and disappointment crossing his features all at once. “And here I thought I stumbled across a gold mine a few weeks ago when I heard you through the walls.”

Neither of you say anymore and the room falls silent save for the shallow breaths that have your chests rising and falling in sync. Yoongi stays wrapped around you and you begin to feel sleep heavy on your eyelids until he’s speaking again.

“How long?” he questions once again and confusion crosses your features because didn’t you just answer that question? “How long have you had this crush?” he clarifies.

This question, you’re not so quick to answer, feeling embarrassed and shy that he’s even bringing it up. It somehow feels more intimate than the last question and you weren’t planning to confess to him like this (you weren’t planning to confess to him at all if you’re being honest). It seems silly that your skin still flushes under the weight of his gaze after everything that just happened, but you can’t help it and you avert your eyes trying to collect your thoughts.

“I don’t know,” you mumble after a moment, needing to give him some sort of answer even if it’s inadequate and you’re positive he can hear the way your heart races in your chest, fluttering away with nerves and timidity.

Yoongi is perceptive and your silence on the matter is a clear indicator that this crush has been going on longer than you care to admit, not to mention the way your heart pounds beneath where his head rests, sounding like there’s a marching band making its rounds in your rib cage.

“Don’t tell me that not only could I have been listening to you moan out my name for months, but I also could’ve been dating you for months?” The question is rhetorical with the revelation of your well-kept secret and instantly, implications of his words have you dizzy with a million thoughts whirling around in your mind.

Before you can get any words out to ask for clarification, frantically searching your brain that’s a muddled mess for a coherent sentence, there’s a loud knock at the front door and you instantly freeze, the sudden intrusion startling you. Yoongi is thinking on the same wavelength as you when he stills, as if the slightest movement will tip off whoever’s at the door that you two are indeed home. The knocking persists and despite the blush that seems to permanently paint your skin pink, there is nothing in this world that can bring you to leave Yoongi’s arms.

‘Y/N!’ you hear being called and you groan for what feels like an eternity before reaching for Yoongi’s wrist to remove his arm from your waist.

Yoongi only resists, tightening his hold on you, “can’t we just pretend we’re not home?”

‘Y/N, open the door!’ Your best friend’s voice travels through the walls in between the pounding of his fist on the wood and you sincerely wish it was that simple.

“This is Jimin we’re talking about, he’s not going to leave,” you inform Yoongi, knowing your friend all too well.

“It’s not like he’ll know that we’re here,” Yoongi counters, trying to find anyway to convince you to stay here wrapped up in your own little world where you and he are the only thing that matters.

‘I know you’re in there! Y/N, please!’

You look at Yoongi pointedly, “I’m only ever at home or at his place, there’s no getting out of this.” And although you’ve made your point, you’re reluctant to leave the arms that you’ve spent countless hours day dreaming about.

“Okay, how about you get rid of him, and I draw us a bath?” he proposes with a soft smile finding its way to his lips.

They way he says ‘us’ has your heart going through another frenzied fit of fluttering and Yoongi chuckles at your reaction that you don’t even bother to hide. You squeak out a small ‘okay’ and the smile he gives you in return is breathtaking, heartwarming in the way his pearly whites and pink gums show nothing but pure joy.

Yoongi shifts to press the softest of kisses to the skin between your breasts and untangles his limbs from yours, “see you soon, doll face.”

He’s already on his feet, strolling out the door before he can witness the way you squirm in the sheets and if he wasn’t on the other side of a piece of drywall, you’d be squealing into a pillow in delight, feeling like you’re dancing on the clouds with the world at your feet.

Jimin all but drops to his knees when you swing the door open, begging for forgiveness as he apologizes over and over for his big mouth that causes nothing but trouble. You have to laugh at that because his big mouth has done quite the opposite this time around and you tell him you’re not mad, trying to convince him that you truly mean it and you usher him back out the door as you let him know you have something to tell him later. With a quick hug, you’re closing the door, a small ‘thank you’ slipping from your lips, leaving him to stare at you in confusion for the split second before the door clicks shut and you’re turning around to run back to Yoongi.

The small space is filled with steam and Yoongi greets you from the tub, already submerged in the hot water with bubbles foaming around his body. A smile breaks across his face when you enter the room and he holds out a hand, waiting for you to join him as you rid yourself of the sweater you threw on to answer the door. You take his hand and step into the tub, settling between his legs as warmth envelopes your body in the form of limbs and water and everything good.

Bubbles tickle your toes and it feels as if you’re melting in delight; your back is to Yoongi’s chest, your head lolled back to rest on his shoulder and he nuzzles your neck, peppering your skin with featherlight kisses. It’s all so surreal and if someone had told you yesterday that you’d be taking part in such affectionate activities with Yoongi, you would’ve laughed in their face at the absurdity. But as dreamlike as it may seem, the arms wound tightly around your waist are too secure to be an illusion wrapped up in your subconscious and the lips on your neck, the nibbles on your ear are too gentle, too soft, too wonderous and unimaginable to be something conceived within the confinements of your own mind. You’re living out your every dream and with the way Yoongi silently hums in content as he holds you close, tracing your skin, he’s living out his too.

#yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi scenarios #suga smut #suga scenarios #bts smut #bts scenarios #min yoongi #min suga #i didnt get a chance to edit this so sorry for any mistakes!!!#oh gosh i dont know how this ended up 6k #i just wanted to write about yoongs #20

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talesfromacrip · 4 years

Text

Tea Time With Yours Truly:

Don’t you love it when you finally realize you’re truly moving on from a toxic situation like the adult you are, when a song you like makes you rethink your visions, feelings, etc. of someone?? or it that me? everything starts to feel entirely new again though regardless. better n’ cooler bc you know you’re not suffering anymore.. just, a fantastic feeling. woo

fucking incredible. I’m F R E E. absolutely free. still hurts though. some things made me realize I should’ve done it sooner and I did. as best I could, i did.I tried all I could and I succeeded for the most part,but damn do they haunt me so badly. I hate it.

Go away, pest. the last 5/6 years have been an emotional roller coaster for me and I want off.somehow I did,the ride still catching me occasionally and pulling me back on, dragging me to the unknown

((some good things happened here n’ there like me meeting some friends I still talk toooo, playing new games and finding new animes))

it’s just good to know though that my mind doesn’t associate them with anything anymore bc they didn’t deserve anything much tbh. just like told me

———

I really want to bug my online buds constantly. From when I get up to when I fall asleep. send them memes, all that funky jazz..but I don’t. I can’t. I feel like I’m too clingy.. too needy.

I AM ACTUALLY. I shouldn’t care, but I do. Maybe it’s because I’m too emotional, too sensitive, too much, blah, blah, blah. Something "bad". Shit the grump hated that has just stuck to me like black balloons since. (( NF is the same with his mental issues. I’m glad to know I’m not alone with thinking of depression, anxiety, etc. as black balloons. Their like lifeless weights, but we still feel them weighing us down))

I love constant communication, especially from close friends.. bug me. 24/7. whenever, whatever. I don’t do anything. much that is. I’m overwhelmed when communicating nowadays so help me out pls??or not><

I don’t ask for it much though bc i was put down for asking for it. I was always told to say certain things as well, not think a certain way, send things at certain times. nothing nsfw even though we where adults. no art much bc it was always judged, other dumb shit.. I felt like the ultimate fucking bother bc of that.. person.

So I stayed to myself because of that and that made me worse ove time.

((I drove some people away when I did and I still am I feel,but I’m trying not too.. I couldn’t deal with myself though, I felt absolutely horrible. When I did, I said some nasty shit and I regret it all because a prick made me feel like complete shit and worthless about myself. I didn’t have to take it out on others like that, but wow.. I did. If I told anyone though,he’d come after me and that was what I didn’t want.. so nice huh?))

I felt like a broken down old dog. I still feel like that occasionally not as bad. not a pleasant feeling at all though

Are all of the things that make me like this really that bad or annoying or make me even less though?? fuck no it doesn’t. It makes me wayyyy better and much more cooler honestly, but those feelings still linger bc the manipulation was so bad..

—

Why the hell would you want me to be boring or better yet be with a boring person who doesn’t talk much and puts others down for similar behavior??

Why would I be with someone who doesn’t share any interests with me much or puts mine down bc they’re childish or unnecessary??

Why would I be with someone that doesn’t communicate anything at all and whatnot,like...please tell me??

I’m genuinely fucking interested.

They told me I was always being too nice all the time. too soft, too babyish. too honest. too sensitive. blah, blah, blahhh. whenever I said something that was tooo personal or informative it’s like: "That’s too much information don’t ya think??" UMM, N O?? "Don’t say that around me ever or I’ll unfriend you and never speak to you again." Okay.. THEN DO IT, PUSSY.

Fucking asshat, douche canoe looking ass cunt.. ((He didn’t like those words or almost any word tbh it seems. true killjoy, I swear and I thought I was. I couldn’t even say oh my god or anything with lord in it because he’d then start saying "why are you saying that when you’re an atheist?" Umm actually I’m agnostic.. ))

he hated the whole "umm actually" deal too that I would do.. literally drove me up the damn wall every time. who fucking cares if I say that?? I’ve been accustomed to it because of my parents and people in general. come the fuck on now

It’s pretty common to say, twit. Don’t take it seriously, joke or not to piss me off to make you happy..man, he irritated the hell out of me and I’m glad he’s gone. like..look ‘bud’ should I just be angry and a constant liar and hateful and just, overall vile like you then all the time?? Guess so huh!! ohh boy!!

Which was almost that unfortunately.. i’m not good at lying and all like you though, you snake. when I did it wasn’t how I was feeling, it was how you felt.. which disgusted me.

I was always honest to you. maybe a few lies, but those were mostly about certain games that I didn’t really play and what I was laughing at. which was your dumb ass most of the time.

He made me start to hate things that made me very happy by being a total prick about it.. I miss feeling overwhelmed with overflowing joy for the things that bring and brought me peace.

I still have it, but it’s not as strong as it was before because some dumb fuck stepped on it too much telling me I’m weak in the process.

I couldn’t like anything anymore much without hearing him yelling at me occasionally and others as well that I never noticed till everything happened. just,yelling at me loudly and telling me how awful i am and other annoying, idiotic shit.. maybe that was your plan all along , to ruin me. ruin my confidence, my strength and my will to move up and thrive in life..

you tried dragging me down your well for being myself when you couldn’t.. pathetic. I bet you’re happy bc you feel like you ‘succeeded’ with this,but you didn’t win the war.

You never will

———

they always manipulated me to dislike the things in life that made me happy. This irritated me a lot.. ((my interests in obscure and ‘buttrock’ bands/music in general, anime, weird games, my love for peculiar art, my badass friends..))

said absolute dumb shit if I got closer to some more than them. ((making me waste sooo much god damn time. say you’re busy all the time even though you live a "boring fucking same day to day lifestyle." tell them how you can’t message all the time when in fact you can and that you’re constantly on the only device that gets you connected to the world outside. tell them.)) makin me lie and be distant about how I felt with some of my amazing friends..

It was never about how I truly felt, but how they felt for me. (("Ohh they made you feel like that?? Well, it made me feel like this and you should too because //insert dumb explanation here//.", "You shouldn’t feel like that towards them, they don’t deserve it.", "Maybe I deserve to be treated like that instead, screw them.", "Don’t feel like that towards them or //issue//, thats absolutely appalling, childish, flat out sappy.", "Don’t let them know how you’re really feeling.. just act like you don’t care at all. They don’t care to help you anyway or else you’d be living a better life.", "They’ll just spread it around so just stay quiet instead until spoken too about it."))

E N D ME !!!

Pls, I beg of you.. not really but the thoughts though, please

———

he would tell me to not bug him when hes on a game, but he could to me. even on social media, which is how we stayed connected and not by messenger pigeons like it’s the 1500’s.

"Don’t bug me on FB when I’m not on." Okay, but I wanna share this with you...?? also, how the hell am I gonna know when you’re on when I’m drawing and trying to occupy my on edge brain??

proceeds to spam me shit in process irritating me. "Don’t bug me, don’t bug me" I hear like a whiny little baby.

"Why do you bug me all the time??" UMM, MAYBE BECAUSE I CARE AND I WANT TO UHHH, IDK SHARE THIS NEAT SHIT WITH YOU??? PENDEJO PUTA DE MIERDA!!

"I’ll message you and send invites when I feel like it." - Shithead towards the end. Circa 1818. ((Yeah, weeks or a month later like nothing happened. "I’ll see you later or tonight when I see you on, get back on, when I’m done eating" just, excuse after excuse..))

((IM ALWAYS FUCKIN ONLINE 24 GAT DAMN 7. YOU KNOW THIS, SHITHEAD. I ALWAYS WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR SOMEONE IN THE DAMN GROUP. DNT FUCK WIT ME, MY TIME, OR PATIENCE LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ENOUGH. S T O P. And it did.. thank g o d))

———

would literally make me wait around and feel like a complete and utter fool when instead he could’ve messaged and been like maybe tomorrow or something, but no.. nothing. made me believe in all sorts of dumb shit. ((Sad I did, but I was pretty gullible. still am. some stuff was just, a big nope though and obvious. I wouldn’t let him get to me that much, but he did in some ways.. disgusting ..))

I was made to feel like I was cared for when in fact I never was to begin with. explains a lot tbh. I felt like a disgusting half empty shell of a person with barely any fragments of a heart and soul left inside. that’s very dark, I know, but that’s how it feels in a way

"It’s not real, this depression you’re feeling, it’s just a phase. it’ll pass/ just suck it up and move on / don’t worry about it you’re fine, you’re just overreacting or overthinking about it / think positive more and be happy nothing bad has really happened to you yet/ I remember when you didn’t act like this."

HOW AND WHAT?!? EXCUSE ME, PEASANT!? SAY THAT AGAIN.. TO MY ACTUAL FACE. I DARE YOU N’ YEAH, I DO TO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

———

I love how people ((friends and some mutuals)) thought I actually wanted to be, be with him, romantically and all that, that is but I just couldn’t..it was never there. I felt it for others though or someone to be exact, during those times which is how I knew I was in a toxic situation and it wasn’t real love or love in general I felt for them. just a facade

I just couldn’t let people know how badly he was treating me so I was sucked into a woven web of lies that got out of hand and ruined some pretty good moments for me completely it seemed

I never once wanted to fuck him or anything of the sort.

at first, we were kinda flirty and sweet with one another. talkin about cuddlin n’ goin on silly dates when we meet ya know. cute and fluffy things. things I got shit for down the road keep in mind. we’d give each other cute lil compliments to one another. It was just, cute and fun stuff ya know. especially since we were young as well.

there was never anything sexual between us either or too sexual, just crushy feels. ((I’m really fucking glad because mm, mmm. hard fucking pass))

he’d never and i mean never get my moist meter high, EVER. drier than this damn valley I live with scattered tumbleweeds, I tell you. not even a lil tingle. no bells ringing.fireworks flinging. I thought about it too and I’d just get disgusted tbh. thats how I knew

I felt like he’d be the worst in the end anyway and he was in general. he wasn’t even comfortable with himself or his sexuality and others things.. sooo, noooo, NOPE. thank u, next!!

I’m completely comfortable with mine.. thanks to my friends and some a bit more. I’m a bit scared to admit though that I’m demi bc of manipulation, but it is.

Happens unfortunately and I know I’m not alone on this journey of self acceptance. I wouldn’t have mind talking about it though, in a calm civil manner like adults do instead of giggling and making weird noises like an idiotic child.

Having it being brought up randomly amongst mutuals and all that got extremely awkward too as well, I hated it. "You wanna fuck him?", "You ever thought about it you two since y’all so close?" crickets and a few mumbled noises.. HA.mmm, I cared about him or what was left of him, not like that. honey flower ain’t or never will be feelin it for him.. EVER. HE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED ME AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SEX THAT MUCH OR MYSELF LIKE THAT SO FUCK HIM. uwu

She’s kinda quiet and scared tbh because he’s such a total killjoy asshole. she senses fear. she knows who really gets her bud blooming. just, the thought of him though like that made me wanna scream and kick him in this stupid ass face.

Ruined a lot of things for me, I swear but I’m moving on as best as I can.

—

He had this switch flip type of mood. I don’t even remember how or why it happened, but it just got worse during and after his breakup it seems.

Which was like 3-4 years ago. started happening out of the blue and over time it just started to bug the living fuck out of me. daily. I was starting to hate it and hate it I did. made my skin crawl.. ((all the Linkin Park jokes))

It made me hate myself which I never did much tbh and I didn’t like that at all.. I wanted out, but I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know who to talk to bc he’d come after me if I did especially if they knew him..

they didn’t though and were on my side, but yeah. I’m glad it stopped

A L L OF IT. I don’t need that kind ‘love’ in my life. that,awful presence. I don’t need any of that at all.. MMM, MMM BYE, BYE!! Disgusting.

———

I wanted to help em try to be happy so fuckin bad after what happened ya know as friends do, when it should’ve been myself making me happy instead.. it was,but everything just got to me.

All the sighs. How lovely huh. We were ‘best friends’ ya know. I can’t even really call anyone that much bc it unnerves me. you’re supposed to make each other happy and all that as best friends, not a sad sack of low shit.

I can’t believe I wanted to be with him and or be around him that is... eughh. I was confused and in a dangerous situation towards the end.. feels like it was my fault, but it wasn’t.

Couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It was extremely fucking stupid on my part

Long time or not, why? just, holding onto old times I guess

That’s where I messed up. I didn’t even really bother trying to be with him tbh as I’ve said. in the beginning maybe yeah when we were younger, but he made me feel less and less over time as we grew older. I was embarrassed about a lot of shit and slowly I just finally realized how much of an asshole he really and truly is and how bad I wanted him out my life.

I couldn’t get away and when I did, he’d still be there someway.. haunting me with his negative nagging.it was dumb I know. I just don’t know exactly how I got lost in it so damn badly, but man, am I really dumb for doing it..

I wholeheartedly despise those feelings I had then and I fucking despise them now. ALL OF THEM. THEY HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

((Great character development though, Cynth. Growing up and moving on. Something he could never do))

I don’t want to bring these problems into anyone else’s life and I did and I regret it.. I would like to disconnect from the server please bc of it, thank you

———

I was made to feel like my disability was cureable around him and that I can do shit when I get my operations done when in fact, I can’t at all and won’t ever get ‘cured’ or anything like that of the sort.typical ableist /lamdwalker activity. despite how many times I told him,he’d forget. Mhmm, sure.. you only heard what you wanted. It’s fine

"We’ll be able to do this when you get said //part// fixed.." what? can I not do that now or something?? I know I can’t, but I can at least try right?? am I really not that good enough to be around and do shit with?? guess so, cool. Okay, I see. I really tolerated some extreme ableism and I still do, but it’s not as bad as that was..

I wish I could cure my RA though like that and have said money to do it. Snap my fingers and it’s done right? ummm, no. not as easy you think dumb ass. I have fused joints, osteo, it’s everywhere like how the hell am I gonna fix that so easily?? tell me, doc

You trippin more than younger me did. I think that’s why he just flat out ditched me in the end and got a gf while he was at it that had an almost exact personality as me in the process. he would point it out too and made me feel fucking creeped out even more.. like, I get it. can’t be youre, abled dream

Why do you care if we’re alike in some ways though?? ((Look where it got him though. He’s still struggling with it, the breakup, bringing it up once n’ awhile like it didn’t happen. It was hilarious to me bc he really was a basket case. I know he was trying to get rid of it, but he was more obsessive about it than a mf))

thankful I don’t deal with it anymore

———

"You live the same day to day lifestyle. Ever since you and I graduated. The same fucking thing. The only new things you do are go to your stupid concerts or teach those weird kids. I see it or you end up telling me anyway." ((I know captain obvious yet again.. at least I’m having fun when I’m doing that. concerts for my favorite bands make me happy, teaching my kids do too ya asshole))

"Nothing is gonna change anyway if you get those procedures done. It’ll be worse for you and we all know that. Just deal with it and try to move on." ((I hate hearing your voice in my head. I want to ban it, mute it from all existence.. I’ve been replacing it with others and I’m glad it’s working))

———

I keep hearing his voice sometimes when I post something on social media. not his actual voice, but something similar, especially in tone. moody and monotone. art,status, any of those with hashtags, rt‘s, anything.. I heard it

"Why did you post that?? Looking for attention or something?", "Not many people liked it because it’s //insert stuff I love here//", "Don’t like shit like that. I don’t want to scroll around awkwardly when I’m out.", "I saw what you put. Idk how to approach it, but I’ll like it to show you I care/to look at later to process."

Tf does that mean and huh?? Why do you care what I put anyway?? I don’t care what you put so why should you care what I put?? Why make me feel like shit for putting this up or talking about something I have some balls too. I want people to know. I’m close to some of these people

I haven’t been posting much because of that. It’s very noticeable and my some of my friends can vouch for it from the viewing couch. renders I do of friends stuff, my original work, OC stuff, fan arts. A L L gets judged by the mighty grump. who it is, colors, the style, shading.. nothing was good enough I guess. even though you said it was and so did my brain at one point. It does, but she’s just not that confident much anymore

He’d get on fan art which was the most irritating thing. "Try and draw like that or do something like that for once.", "They didn’t get me right.. did you give them the references? Even though you still haven’t made a proper one?", "Why did they draw me like that?", "That’s cool. Why my character though?" PEOPLE DRAW IN THEIR OWN WAYS IN MANY STYLES AND CAN CREATIVELY DO WHATEVER THEYD LIKE YA FUCKIN DUMBASS. IN THE END, ITS MY CHARACTER ANYWAY. YOU DIDNT DRAW HIM. I DID N’ WHO CARES. MAYBE THEY LIKE YOUR CHARACTER OR IDK I REQUESTED IT TO MAKE YOUR SAD ASS HAPPY.

"Ohh yeah, I used to draw back in the day." The shit he sent me was traced, had his signature on it covering the original artists, no consistent style. Straight up thief and ugly liar. He can’t even draw a straight line, let alone paint a piece. Please, boy. I KNEW IT AND HED MANIPULATE ME INTO THINKING IT WAS AND I KNEW. AINT FOOLING ME THERE. I maybe or might’ve been extremely gullible as a teen, but ooohhh honeyyyy, I knew, I knew.

Artist my ass. Yeah con artist :))

———

I hated the awkward silence moments between us when we spoke. I literally wanted to fucking scream at you like you did to me sometimes when you were having a "bad day".

I wanted to yell at you about everything you’ve ever done to me the last time we talked and I just broke down instead because I am an "emotional bitch" as you say. HOLY SHIT though, are you boring. I thought I was, but I just get dissociative and I space out because I didn’t know what to say and when I did,I got judged for it. for everything else as wel which made me feel worse. fuucking fantastic you are

You made me feel like I was was swirling in this dead and extremely lonely silence that was ever so slowly drowning me and dragging me down.. ((Like BMTH says, don’t let me drown and you did to an extent)) i couldn’t breathe right for the longest time with you there.. felt like an enormous weight on my chest

when I was in there, it was awful and made me feel worse. I didn’t want to leave and when I did,you’d think I’d be having a fit or something.so, I would stay until you left and when you did it was absolute freedom.

I swear I hated being around you. I got judged for making any sort of weird noise, hiccup, burp, humming, my singing, jokes. such a fun person you are, hmph

#therapy journal #disabled post #disability #ableism #internalized ableism #anxiety #tw

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thecultoffilm-blog · 7 years

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IT (2017) Review.

I had been excited for the new adaptation of IT since I first saw that iconic picture of Pennywise, grinning creepily with pleasure and contempt. I couldnt wait for it. When the first trailers dropped it got me even more hyped and excited to see what Muschietti would bring to the table, as I was unimpressed with the miniseries. Today I saw IT, and have to say am fairly underwhelmed by it. What I hoped would be a thrilling, scary and atmospheric horror film was an oddly edited, cliche and predictable film. Over this review I will be talking about what works, what doesnt, what I loved and what I hated and finally, an overall score out of 10. Please remember this is all opinionated and very personal, rather than a group opinion. What I loved: Personally the best part of the film for me was the losers club. Not only were all very well performed and gave off a very real and serious vibe, the children acted like children, a rare occurrence in many modern films. The kids throughout this movie are swearing, making your mum jokes and mentioning dick size, like a kid would. Muschietti really nailed this side of the spectrum and due to the great performances by all the children and realistic and relatable behaviour, I found myself really enjoying the club, far more than I thought I would. Another thing I thoroughly enjoyed was the coming of age theme throughout. I really liked this and thought it really added to the story. In a way Pennywise could be a metaphor for all the problems and hard times these kids are facing, and them dealing with him is them working together to beat their daily problems. It may seem stereotypical but I thought it was sweet to see the club grow and learn in such a small amount of time, all of them facing their fears and issues (some more literally than others) Im glad the story wasnt just, "oh look, there's an evil clown who is hurting people, let's go beat him up," as for me this would have made the film flat and uninteresting. I'm very glad it was included and felt it really added to the film. Pennywise is a weird one. I thought he worked at points but at others I just hated him. Saying that, he definitely had far more good scenes than bad but I still just felt unimpressed at his character. It wasn't even Bill's fault, it was just the look and feel to him in general. Again, sometimes he was incredible but sometimes he felt to comedic and cartoon like. Overall though, he was a very strong character and I did enjoy when he was on screen (most of the time) The cinematography in this film in my personal opinion was beautiful. So many scenes were shot so well. Muschietti made sure to use locations and places to their full effect and it shows. The shots used also fit in with the scene. For example when outside in the day the shots were wide and vast, showing off the beauty of Derry or the quarry. However when inside a location it felt claustrophobic and cramped, adding to the intensity and fear of the scene. The lighting was also on point. When in a dark room it felt eerie and as an audience member I felt blind but at the same time little details and important features were clear and visible. When outside the lighting felt very true to life without blinding you of course. Both lighting and the cinematography were very well done and should be applauded. The sound design in the film really sold it for me. Most of my fear produced actually came from the sound rather than whatever else was going on. One scene which I will never forget is Pennywise exiting the cupboard. It really did chill me. But the main reason for doing so is him tapping his long, gloved fingers on the side of the box. It was genuinelly terrifying. The sound was perfectly managed, sounds in the foreground were loud and violent whilst little ones in the back were small and hard to pick up, but the amount it added to the atmosphere was great. I'm very glad the sound was well done and pin pointed in just the right settings and times as it really added to the film for me anyway. What I didn't like: To me, the jumpscares in this film were terrible. I hoped to every possible god that all the jumpscares would be fair and needed. Alas, this is not the case. Thankfully, IT didn't stoop to the level of the classic "it's just a ....." jumpscare but far to mamy were predictable and dull. There were pointless loud noises and violins squealing at me from the screen and a lot of the scares were cheap and commonly used in Hollywood films. There were probably 7 scares which I predicted and out of all of them in total, only a few made me jump. Which isn't great. One thing that really annoyed me was Georgie's walkie talkie screeching whenever he ran by. Stuff like that is what ruined this film. Yes, it is better than a loud bang or smash, but still. I could do better and I've never made a film. It really did upset me as I do love a good jumpscare, but there were very few to be found. As much as I did love them, the kids in the film made such stupid and contradictory decisions. It really got to me. They would constantly wonder off by themselves after all being told not to and it was so annoying to watch. Even Bill, who said to them all countless times to stick together decides to walk away from the group. You could argue that this is Pennywise luring them away with his powers but I personally believe it's a dull way to create another cheap scare. Another thing they all do is the classic, "let me go in this dark room, nothing could go wrong" This is just so pathetic. For example the library scene with Ben. No one would ever follow those eggs and go down there. It felt wrong and fake, exactly the opposite of what this film wanted and was meant to be. I do see why it was needed, but there were far better ways to lure the characters. Pennywise, as mentioned above, did work. But there were so many instances where he didn't. And what does it all come down to? CGI. What ruined him for me was the large amount of CGI that went into the film. I understand that it's nessecary and in some ways it did help, but it sucked any amount of realism out of the film. What does this result in? A lack of tension and fear. For me, the more realistic, the more scary. That's why for me, The Strangers is the scariest horror of all times. It was so real and plausible that it made it far more intimidating simply due to how it was handled and filmed. No CGI, no demons or ghosts. Just 3 insane people trying to murder a couple. It sounds basic but it is so much more scary than IT. For example, the garage scene was so poorly created it nearly made me laugh at how conical Pennywise looked. It just didn't work for me. I do understand it's hard to create a film like this without using it, but I believe that more practical effects could and should have been used. Even if that had meant making it less extravagant. One thing I enjoyed about the miniseries is that it seemed more real because there was no (or very little) special effects or features. This made it feel more real, and in turn, added to the danger and intensity. I wish this interpretation had done the same. The editing was so odd in this film. It went from happy to sad to scary in seconds. It felt misguided and oddly created. A good example is the basement scene. It goes from Pennywise screaming and trying to kill Bill to Bev sat on a staircase in the sun, content and happy. This breaks the tension with ease. Whats even weirder is that it never show the aftermath of the scene, Bill's reaction or thoughts are never shown, it just stops. It's almost like a scene was cut. It felt wrong and misplaced. I understand in some aspects why what was done but still, it felt so strange. Many scenes felt cut and half completed, some seem to short and others to long. The best word for it would have to be inconsistent. I really enjoyed some of the editing, but disliked others. The kiss scene. Is dreadful. This is not a fairy tale world. This is a world where a young boy has his arm ripped off and is pulled into a sewer. Magical kisses do not tie in well with that sort of theme. This infruriated me. Genuinelly. I don't understand. It wasn't to develop character or even a relationship, it wasn't to advance the plot, it didn't add anything to the story. It took away from it. What seemed so real was whisked away in seconds. Was it meant to show that the underdog can always succeed or help others? I for one, am clueless. It really did disappoint me. Am I supposed to believe that a kiss from a random boy can wake up a girl who has been affected by the deadlights? It was so random and wrong. It felt like it had been ripped straight from Disney and plonked straight into the film to add to it's character and charm. It didn't work. At all. And it really did spoil the film. It was cheesy, unasked for and laughable. I still can't think of any reason for including it. My final complaint is the end scene. The final fight. For a start, I'm glad it wasn't long and drawn out over 20 minutes. It would have become boring. But it felt so odd. How Pennywise just collapsed to the floor and started to deteriorate. Again, the end scene reminded me heavily of a Disney film. "We beat you out of love and teamwork." That sort of thing. I understand what they were going for, and it was a sweet ending but it felt wrong to put it in a film like this. What happened to the battery acid? That was great and it made sense. But instead we get the classic fall to his "death" scene. I'm glad they all conquered their fears and I'm glad that they could beat their common enemy but it could have been made far less lovey dovey in my personal opinion. I get that it was to make the audience feel and perhaps even relate but to me this fell very flat. Another issue regarding the scene is Bev. I do understand that sexual abuse must be a horrifying thing do deal with but the fact that Pennywise didn't scare her is dumb. He is the true manifestation of any fear, a monster, a beast. Yet she isn't afraid? Again I know that the whole overcoming her fear had to be included but it was fairly annoying to see that she wasn't bothered even in the slightest. It may seem like nitpicking, but I cared about the film a lot and some bits and pieces made little sense to me, regardless of what the general public say. Overall: IT is not a bad film. It's not incredible, but far from bad. It had it's scary moments and ideas and the film is certainly not for the weak hearted. Themes and ideas are shoehorned in nicely and darker topics are presented in a careful and appealing light. Performances all round are great from everyone, especially the losers club. Pennywise is an intimidating villain throughout and never fails to either disturb or creep you out. It does have it's flaws, but as does any film, and it is impossible to say that IT is not an entertaining film. Even if I wouldn't class it as a true horror it is very amusing and fun to watch in pretty much any situation and I would recommend it if you're ever bored or have nothing to do. Unfortunately I didn't feel it lived up to it's hype but hopefully chapter 2 may be able to improve and evolve from that. I didn't watch the film I was expecting and hoping to see, but it did work and it did achieve it's goal; to entertain, and entertain it did. Overall score: 6/10 Best shot?: The best shot of this film for me is when Georgie attempts to crawl away from Pennywise, his arm bleeding and him crying. IT's inhumanely long arm appears from the drain and we know it's all over for poor little Georgie. So harrowing, but so good.

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wayneooverton · 7 years

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All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online

Guys, why do people troll on the internet? Why are blogger hate comments a thing? Let this be the philosophical question of the day. Please, god, why? WHY? WHY?

And of all the people, why me? I’m a perfectly innocent little travel blogger over here, just minding my own business. The purpose of this blog is to inspire people to travel, what is so confronting about that? Move along. Why can people be so mean to me online? I don’t get it. I’m lovely, alright?

Just kidding. Sometimes I’m a shit stirrer. I stir the pot on purpose. If I see something I think is wrong, I say it. Also, god did not see fit to gift me with grace or tact. I am really good at regularly putting my foot in my mouth, often publicly. I also don’t know when to back away. And I’m cynical. Is this a recipe for a well-loved image? I’m not quite sure.

At least I’m real, right? Of all my flaws at least I like to think I’m authentic, the only truly honest blogger in a sea of vapid, shallow fools.

Stop talking, Liz. Like right now.

Anyways, it’s no secret, I get mean comments on the regular, so regular in fact that I have been doing annual round ups of the best mean comments I get every single year since 2012. I know I’m shamefully overdue on this post. I completely missed 2016.

2016 was an intense year for me, and when it came down to digging through comments looking for the horrible ones, I just couldn’t bring myself to go down that particular roller coaster. It was also the first year I started to get death threats. I just wasn’t in the mood. Can you forgive me?

Hate comments aren’t a novelty to me anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time. I’ve gotten tens of thousands of comments over the years, with a small percentage of them being ugly, and I’ve learned to just let them slide by in a giant wave of pity – I truly for sorry for anyone that takes the time to hate me so much online. Also, I’m probably laughing at you.

The best hate I got in 2015

The best hate I got in 2014

The best hate I got in 2013

The best hate I got in 2012

Also, I’ve really just stopped paying attention when people troll me; five years of regular trolls has given me armor. I went from being a delicate rose who bruised easily to a goddamn rhino. Go on, try and say something to mean to me. It can hardly be any worse that what I’ve gotten before.

And to be honest, it’s the same shit day in and day out. You’re privileged (yeah I know), you’re entitled (no I am not, thank you), you travel off your daddy’s money (HA, if you only knew…), you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re stupid, you swear too much, you’re a know it all, you do this why don’t you do that, blah blah blah it never fucking ends.

Honestly, I yearn for the creative insults. I think my trolls have gotten lazy. Where’s the witty banter? The colorful backhanded comments? The passive aggressive DMs? They’ve disappeared into regular grammatically ugly “what a c*nt” and “how is this blog even popular” lazy comments. I mean for fuck’s sakes guys, if you’re gonna come for me, try a little.

But I digress. Back by popular demand, I’ve taken the time to dig through my work and find the best of the best blogger hate comments, the most entertaining, the ugliest, the cruelest, the worst hate comments I get just for you. Because at the end of the day, the only way we can deal with this BS is just to laugh. You’re welcome. Enjoy.

1. The most popular Facebook comment in response to an article about how I built my career in blogging

And if she wasn’t a young blond with a penchant for putting out to old men she’d be working at Officeworks for $15/hr

I want to start an argument about feminism here but just can’t be fucked.

2. And the second most liked comment on the same article

The only thing worse than a human that resembles a vacuous opportunistic sponge is the plethora of parasites that aspire to be just that.

Just so we’re clear, I’m the sponge and you’re the parasite in this allegory.

3. Writing about how Jane Goodall inspires me to be better with conservation

You are not an “activist for saving the planet.” The number of flights you take each year creates more carbon emissions that most of us create in our LIVES. If you actually cared about the environment you would travel solely by bike and public transport with an occasional flight, not dozens of international flights a year. Get a grip.

I mean, fair point. I’d love some tips about biking overseas from the island of New Zealand where I live.

4. I really hate it when people don’t get sarcasm online on my how to cheat on Instagram

Teaching young people that life depends on Instagram. Thats great and people were wondering what was happening to our decaying society. Telling them that their popularity will increase if they sell their sexuality too. Wow what a true feminist you are. Pathetic. The whole millennial generation is going to be morally bankrupt.

I just facepalmed so hard.

5. Speaking of Instagram…

Not to be rude, just honest, but I noticed your photos have extremely low engagement for “168K” followers. I wonder if the companies who pay you notice this.

Guys, I’m literally one of the ONLY people who doesn’t cheat on Instagram! That’s why my engagement isn’t out of this world. But thanks for pointing that out.

6. That one time I wrote that Central Otago is one of the only regions in New Zealand that has four distinct seasons (which is true)

Seriously? The only region in New Zealand that experiences four distinct seasons? You need to travel more and drink less Pinot. I’m not even sure how I got your spam mail, but I live here, not just a FIFO tourist. If you want to trade travel stories, I’m sure you’ll lose.

You can’t make me drink less Pinot!!!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

7. When I wrote a million years ago about things that I hate that people do on airplanes

Sounds like a person who wrote the original article needs more than Ambien. probably could use some Xanax and some Prozac also. when you travel on a plane you know there is also something called other human beings. Get a grip. judging by your photo, You’re not that cute or anything special…..

Hope you find the help you need.

Kisses!

You know, funny story. One time in Bangkok I went to a pharmacy to get some sleeping pills for upcoming long haul flights – sometimes in Southeast Asia I can get strong sleeping pills over the counter. They gave me Xanax, no questions asked. Best flight ever. In fact, imagine if Xanax was provided on all long-haul flights. Who do I need to speak to about this?

8. Any time I provoke the vegans, one of my favorite pastimes

Me: writes thousands of words about wildlife, travel, sustainable tourism practices or about anything really

All of the vegans: You should consider going vegan

Me: but, bacon? So tasty.

All of the vegans: PITCHFORKS AT ATTENTION!

As a close friend used to say, do not negotiate with terrorists, Liz.

9. When I wrote a blog post about how to move to New Zealand as American (if you need some entertaining, go read through the comments) which is a minefield!

It is not your home. even if you wish it was it’s not, it is new zealands home. fuck off to your own home. leave mine alone… just fuck off back to usa and leave nz to be nz. stop telling people how to get here, we don’t want you. most nzers hate americans, you are boring n have no sense of humour, just fuck off bck to usa and leave nzers to our own country, plus u don’t get my point cos u dumb american.if u don’t want to be thought of a american sterotype don’t act like dunb american cunt….you are such a dunb cunt. this is why we hate you.

I can’t look beyond the grammatical and spelling errors in this, honestly I tried, but I can’t.

Yes go ahead pls MOVE out from US we don’t need weak, pathetic, ignorant ppl here who need “safe-spaces” You have been brain washed by fake media like cnn, fox, abc etc for too long

I just can’t.

Congratulations on proving again that liberal thought is shallow and feelings-based. Too much reading making your head hurt?

I’m literally the biggest reader you’ve ever met. Don’t even.

I read the first couple of paragraphs and had to stop. As a Trump supporter, I am offended by your words and will now stop following you. It’s really too bad that you offend some of your followers, here I thought I was following a travel blog. Please do move to NZ, because America will be better off without you!!

It’s ok, I’m ashamed to have had you as a reader.

That response obviously shows why 20 something women shouldn’t even have the right to vote.

*Begins to pull hair out of own head*

Im just trying to save you from having to take depression medication for the rest of your life thats all. What are you on now Zoloft or Prozac?

Neither, unfortunately. I sure could use one after reading this.

10. I appeared in a big NBC Dateline special about American’s moving to New Zealand and man, that opened the floodgates of crazy

Stay out of America you traitor bitch.

This was the first of many comments calling me a traitor.

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. HOPE A HOBBIT KILLS YOUR SORRY ASS CUNT.

LOL!!!

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. I hope a sheep kills you and your family you faggot, the USA is the best country ever.

Me: I feel so sorry for you

I feel worse for you, you no good commie bastard. Stay out of my country and fuck off cunt. Fuck you you no life blogger get a real job.

Me: You feel better now?

Yes, I’m living in the US of A #MAGA fuck. Cuck.

Me: Well I feel better living in a place with people nicer than you. And I have healthcare. And I can spell.

BOOM! How’d they do? What’s the worst thing anyone has said to you online? Do you get trolled? How do you cope? Spill!

The post All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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