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reaperkiller · 2 years

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[breaks down your door] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 13 for jason and marcus >:]

ALREADY ANSWERED 1 BUT. if necessary i could go into so much more detail. i could i really could i WONT but i could.

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?

at first, they didn't even try to work together, or even really listen to each other - even though they are in this TOGETHER, with no one else to help them for a good while. then, it was like. god fine i'll work with you but only because we share a common goal. which finally made them break down the first barrier they both had up, which lead to them actually liking each other. but obviously neither of them would admit that for a WHILE. now, they work together VERY well. theyre so in tune with each other they don't even need to speak half the time, just one knowing glance, a nod, and they're on it, perfectly in sync.

the sharing is the same, they REFUSED at first but now??? marcus takes also jason's clothes,, jason cannot stop him. theyre way too big for him but he looks too cute so. jason just has to learn to deal with it

3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

DEFINITELY yes. they were a bit shy at first* (*very shy like my GOD they couldnt even look each other in the eye) but then they gradually got comfortable with being out and about, holding hands, a little kiss every now and again. the power and ego trip they both experience by yelling "that's my BOYFRIEND you bitch" before starting a fight?? unparalleled.

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

can't go into too much detail with it all yet bc that's exactly what i'm writing at the moment and i don't wanna spoil all of it <3 but it wasn't love at first sight at all, marcus was scared of him because he's tall, freakishly strong, very cold, an asshole, and generally. very angry and unpleasant person. and marcus did not want to be stuck with him. he was also scared bc, with marcus being able to see ghosts + undead stuff, jason had an extremely Weird vibe that marcus had never seen before, and it really freaked him out

as for jason, he saw marcus and was like, this is the most pathetic looking little guy ever. he can't even throw a punch. he's looking at me and he's about to start crying. do i have to babysit this little freak??? my boyfriend cheated on me with THIS??? jesus christ. how pathetic am i. and then. well. marcus's whole existence gave him even more self-esteem issues HFSJHGHJ

5. Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

as i write more and fine-tune their relationship, i'll definitely have a better answer for this. but i do still have Something!!! jason used to call marcus 'big guy' and 'casanova' a lot when they started being a little less hostile to each other, sometimes also throwing in the occasional "honey" and "babycakes", bc marcus's reaction to those two specifically made him laugh. again he wouldnt admit it. but it really did make him go. omg... i.. orythfg aAaaaaa. it broke him internally every time but that didn't stop him. there's also a whole thing about a swear jar, because jason will NOT stop swearing at all ever, he sprinkles at least 5 swears in every sentence. WHAT a guy.

6. Any tasks that are always left to one person?

answered this one too AAAA

8. What do the like best about their partner?

jason is head over heels in love with marcus's smile and laugh. and the two of them together??? he melts. he gets weak at the knees he CANNOT deal with it. even after they've been together for years, it still makes him flustered <3 also his eyes, his freckles,,, how he's so SO talented like. the most talented guy he's ever seen he CANNOT get over it. just. even the way he simply exists in the world has jason on the floor. and the moustache. he says he hates it but like. it's one of his favourite things about marcus 1000%

marcus also loves jason's smile, that's the first thing he noticed about him - the first sign that he was actually breaking through the front jason had up and was getting through to the real thing. his resillience, with the amount of things he's been through, and the fact he's still going?? he's Amazed. he had already been in love with him for a while up until this point but when he heard him play guitar for the first time, which was also the first time where jason was 100% authentically himself??? he could have kissed him and married him and ran away with him right then and there. but he DIDNT bc they werent even TOGETHER and he still thought jason didnt like him all that much. ALSO HIS HANDS. JASON'S HANDS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO HIM. I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT.

10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

jason (unfortunately) drives, marcus mostly does the cooking, but jason is getting better at trying to help <3 they both do varying levels of handiwork, both share cleaning tasks + bills too i guess idk!! THEY LIKE DOING THINGS TOGETHER and theyre both a little stupid so they need to use their combined braincell to get anything done. jason mostly handles anything with being out in Public and talking to people, bc he's tall and intimidating so no one will ever try shit with him or marcus. he HAS to protect his short bf at all costs

13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

i know i already answered this but i'm thinking about how they make music together again. and. aruthfghjd. when i said about them travelling?? they take as MANY pictures as they possibly can and put them all in a photo album. they LOVE photo albums. and scrapbooking. this fact is VERY important to me

#oc tag #OC ALEX #oc marcus #THEY MAKE ME SO DERANGED

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kageyuji · 3 years

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his teammate has a crush on his s/o

⤷ suna, iwaizumi, bokuto, tendou ; [gn!reader] — part 1

TAGS: jealousy, fluff(?), swearing, the teammates were written a little ooc for the plot

NOTES: if you reblog I’ll give you my first born child in return, please and thank you <3

━━ SUNA

although surprisingly good at acting fine and saying that he was perfectly calm, he wasn’t immune to jealousy in the slightest

but he wasn’t a complete dumbass either

and he didn’t know why atsumu seemed to think that he was

of course, atsumu had a tendency to flirt with anything that breathes and has a heartbeat, but suna couldn’t shake the feeling like something with off

but he knew that you loved no one but him, so he tries not to let atsumu’s jokes and teasing get to him

until he realizes that maybe... maybe it wasn’t completely harmless

The flirting was a fairly common thing at this point. Never too heavy, just little winks and cocky smiles sent your way, along with the occasional flirtatious compliment.

“C’mon, I’m just sayin’, I could treat you so much better than Suna can.”

What.

While he didn’t like any of it, that was where Suna drew the line. He didn’t say anything at first, he didn’t react at all except a furrowing of his eyebrows.

He didn’t really know what to do — he sat there for a few moments, trying to figure out if he’d heard Atsumu right and then letting that fact sink in. And then he was walking over to the other guy.

Suna had seen the expression on your face. You looked confused to say the least, trying to figure out what Atsumu had meant. Because surely he hadn’t meant what it seemed like he was saying... right?

“Come again, Miya?” Though his tone sounded somewhat bored, it was laced with hostility.

Atsumu’s face dropped at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, blinking a few times and smiling.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I was just jokin’ arou-”

“Hm, you aren’t funny though.” Suna said in the same half-bored tone. He stepped closer to you, looping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to himself.

“It’s harmless flirting, it’s a joke. What, am I not allowed to joke around anymore?” He smiled, though he was clearly nervous.

Suna set his jaw, “Not with my partner, no.”

━━ IWAIZUMI

he didn’t get jealous often, he trusted you so he could usually bite down his insecurity easily

but it’s not like anyone would hit on you when mr. biceps was with you anyway

nevertheless, he doesn’t like the way mattsun speaks to you — he knows that mattsun has a somewhat unconscious tendency for dirty jokes or being unknowingly flirtatious

and he doesn’t mind usually, but iwaizumi swears there’s some times whenever the flirtatious comments seem a little too frequent

but you haven’t stated that you were uncomfortable, so iwaizumi told himself that he could grin and bear it

everyone has limits though

Iwaizumi could have sworn that Mattsun was laying it on a lot heavier now that he didn’t think your boyfriend was still within earshot.

But of course this was all just Iwaizumi overthinking things. That was all... wasn’t it? The last thing he wanted to do was to be overbearing, to be controlling, to make you uncomfortable. So he held his breath and tried to focus on anything except your laugh.

“You can come over tonight if you want, I need to study and-”

“Y/n has plans tonight, actually.” Iwaizumi cut in, and when he turned around he was glad that he had.

It wasn’t that you looked exactly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t like you wanted anything to do with the conversation either. A smile crossed your face at the sound of him chiming in, and you took a small step closer to him.

“It’s just studying, Y/n can help me-”

“I said that Y/n isn’t helping you do shit, alright?”

Mattsun didn’t say anything in response, just swallowed thickly, nodded, and walked away. You hadn’t seen Iwaizumi get so bothered by something like that — and Iwaizumi wasn’t expecting himself to either, but the expression on your face whenever he’d turned around caused him to abandon most of his filter.

“Are you ok?” You asked.

He took a deep breath and turned to you, his face relaxing. “More importantly, are you ok?”

━━ BOKUTO

he’s oblivious sometimes, too caught up in looking at the big picture to realize smaller things going on

which isn’t always a bad thing, but whenever he looked past the way akaashi was being just a little too friendly with you it was

it didn’t last long though, and once he had the idea planted in his head it was stuck and wasn’t going away any time soon

so naturally he was a little more mopey, although he didn’t say anything yet

that was until akaashi started getting closer to you, and you didn’t even seem to notice that

“Oh hey, Y/n! We can go someplace after school and study for a while. Uh... it’s just, you mentioned a while ago that you needed help in one of your classes.”

Bokuto frowned at his friend’s words, watching as you smiled and thanked the setter. The worry ate at him, but it wasn’t even jealousy at this point, just something like sadness. You agreed and it painted Akaashi’s cheeks pink, spread a smile across his face.

“But, Y/n...” Bokuto said, his voice almost a whine, though it fell quieter at the end of his sentence.

You looked over to him, seeing the pout and expression in his eyes. Akaashi seemed to notice it too, asking Bokuto if everything was alright.

“Yeah, Kou?”

“Don’t you want to go somewhere with me after school?” He said, looking up at you with hopefully eyes. You walked over to where he was sitting and reached to grab his hand.

“As much as I would like to, I really need to study. Akaashi was nice enough to-”

“Akaashi this and Akaashi that,” The whine in his voice was fleeting now as he came to realize just how unnecessarily kind his friend had been to you lately. “spend time with me, baby.”

The setter seemed a little more alert than he had been a moment ago, eyes wide and barely breathing. Bokuto’s eyes landed on him, and though his eyes were usually warm and kind, they now held a level of hostility you’d not seen before.

Akaashi was making up an excuse to leave quickly, telling you that something had come up and that you couldn’t study.

“...and maybe you shouldn’t spend so much time around him.”

“Huh, why?”

“No, I mean, you can- you can choose your friends and all, but just remember I’m your boyfriend.”

“I know, Kou, wouldn’t have it any other way. That date you offered though sounds good, anywhere in mind?”

━━ TENDOU

tendou gets jealous a fair amount, although none of his jealousy is unfounded

he’s not controlling or possessive though — he trusts you not to do anything, he just doesn’t trust other people

of course, there’d been some rumor started about how your whole relationship had been fake for one reason or the other, but now the secret was out so you’d broken up

so now these types of situations got more frequent, but if he sees you in a situation where someone is getting just a little too friendly, he’ll step in without another thought

it’s a little different whenever it’s his teammate though, especially when it’s ushijima

he tried not to let that get to him though, telling himself that it’s just like any other random person

“Y/n... could you help me?” Ushijima asked, laughing sheepishly.

But of course you smiled and agreed, then walked over to him. Tendou didn’t know what it was, honestly didn’t care, he just didn’t like how much it bothered him.

Alone, it was harmless, sure. But with everything else he’s been doing lately...

“Also, Y/n, I was wondering if I could ask you something? There’s this-”

“Y/n is busy that day sorry!” Tendou cut in, quickly turning around to look at the two of you. A smile was spread across his face, though nothing but hostility in his eyes. “They have plans with me.”

“Wait, what day?” You asked, not remembering any time recent that the two of you had planned on going somewhere.

“I dunno, whatever day he was about to say. You’re my partner after all.”

He smiled at you. Then his index finger was under your chin and he was pecking your lips. Heat rose in your cheeks at that simple action, but you tried to ignore it.

“Oh. I didn’t know that you and Tendou... I apologize, that-”

“It’s ok,” You laughed. “Half of the school still believes that we aren’t dating.”

Tendou huffed, then stepped closer to you and grabbed your hand. “But we are, and I would very much like to kiss you in public so people can see that. C’mon, where do you think there’s the most people right now, angel?”?

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neurodiversebones · 3 years

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autistic brennan !!!

in my autistic opinion... here you go. a SLIGHTLY more organized version of what i have dropped in the DMs of anyone who is willing to listen, copy and pasted from a google doc i have so eloquently named "bones is fucking autistic" !!

this headcanon is like. 95% confirmed, which kind of makes my heart do a little "!!!" <3 idk brennan means a Lot to me and always did as a young autistic afab person :-) so here you go !! (under the cut)

okay SO here is my explanation for my headcanon, explained in bullet points- this took up multiple google docs pages so i hope you're ready

emotional display:

has absolutely zero poker face- we see this frequently. there are too many instances to count where she cannot hide her facial expressions !! it is also referenced by booth in late season 8, and i think a few other characters have mentioned it throughout the series?

this is especially in the earlier seasons, but her response to stress and trauma is Very Neurodivergent. she rarely has an outward response- it's so rare to see her cry before season 7/8 ?? this could also definitely be a trauma thing but like,,, trauma symptoms and autistic traits are unfortunately hard to differentiate between because autistic people tend to go through more traumatic situations

not exactly emotional display, but similar- she clearly has alexithymia, or something of the sort (basically, she struggles to recognize her own emotions). this is exhibited a few times- the one i can remember right now is "i don't understand what i'm feeling" "you understand happy, right?" (conversation with angela, season 9). this is actually something i have rarely seen in a character- at least not done well. it makes me very happy !!!

empathy:

she struggles to understand why others would think differently than her- her view of the world is Correct in her eyes, and she finds it difficult to look from someone else's point of view. this frequently ends in her criticizing those around her- her view of the world is incredibly black and white, so when others disagree with her, she believes they must be wrong.

extension of the black and white thinking- she doesn't understand concepts, no matter how hard she tries. she needs evidence and proof. examples of this would be her views on god/religion, love (pre-season 6), and marriage (pre-season 8)

despite her lack of empathy toward people, she exhibits a lot of empathy toward animals. this is actually a really common autistic trait?? examples of this would be her emotional attachment to the dogs in 4x04, or her explosive reaction to finding out the tiger was killed in 8x04

social/conversational skills:

this is probably her most obvious and easily recognizable autistic trait- it's what made me go "she's autistic" after watching a few episodes

she does not understand jokes or sarcasm very well- she frequently gets confused by jokes, explaining why they aren't funny or don't make sense, especially pop culture jokes. when she does understand jokes or pop culture references, she gets very excited and explains them out loud, even though everyone around her already understands (just adding- i love this so much ?? her explaining jokes is Very Cute. i'm sorry i'm a simple gay who can't go ten minutes without declaring my love for her)

struggles with small talk and social niceties- this is used as a joke in nearly every episode. she doesn't do small talk well- preferring to talk about topics that are actually important or interest her. she doesn't see the need for most social conventions either, which leads to her frequently being seen as rude.

she misses social cues in conversations- she frequently brings up topics that are probably not Appropriate for the setting (talking about dead bodies in a restaurant, talking about sex while standing over a dead body, etc.)

she is incredibly literal, and doesn't understand metaphorical speak. this goes hand in hand with the not understanding jokes- she takes many phrases at face value, sometimes confusing others

tone:

she frequently comes off as cold or blunt without meaning to be- many people read her as "heartless" or just uninterested because of the way she speaks, even when she is very invested.

i don't know how to explain this other than her speaking pattern is Very Autistic- the way she pauses mid sentence all the time, the facial expressions she makes while speaking, it's all autism babey !!!

intense focus on one topic:

okay it's very obvious that her special interests are forensics and anthropology

she gets hyperfocused, often losing herself in her work and putting herself through the ringer for it. she puts her work above (almost) everything, and has stated on multiple occasions that she would be nothing without her work.

she often explains the things around her with references to anthropology and ancient civilizations- she uses these references to explain her feelings, the situations she's in, and frequently, to solve crimes. things make sense to her when she thinks about them like this.

not engaging with peers in an "expected" way:

she is often showed to have difficulty getting close with people- she doesn't like showing emotion to others, and would rather just talk about the task at hand. this could very well be explained by her trauma background- but i believe it's probably a bit of both.

she finds it difficult to bond with her peers over common things, like pop culture, and rather talks about work or other things. she doesn't open up to a lot of people, even those who she is incredibly close with.

other/misc.:

stimming !! this doesn't have enough instances to get its own section, but i like to interpret that wonder woman scene as vestibular stimming, purely because i love to spin and jump !!!!

detail oriented, to the point of obsession. it's common for autistic people to get caught up in the details of things, which she definitely does.

views on sexuality differ from the "norm"- she is very critical of monogamy during the first half of the series, and does not see the point in marriage. also she's definitely arospec, just putting that out there <3

i am autistic and i love her therefore i'm right

final notes:

i think she's one of my favourite autistic characters to exist- i usually despise the socially awkward detective trope, but it's handled well here. the people around her don't expect her to change the innate aspects of who she is- rather, they love her unconditionally (even if they are exasperated at times- which is natural to feel with people that you love)

i very much like that they didn't go with the socially awkward + smart = unattractive trope either- she knows that she's hot, and so do the people around her. i'm so sick of nerdy girls not being allowed to be hot 😭 especially when it comes to autistic-coded characters- let autistic people have sex lives 2k21

she just,,, holds a very special place in my heart. as an undiagnosed autistic afab kid, she meant a lot to me. i saw a woman on screen who was smart like me and sometimes confused people because of her intelligence, who didn't really get social situations, who didn't know how to express how she felt. she was like me- and she loved herself, and people loved her. she's a very important character to me and has been since i was really young <3

thank you SO MUCH to anybody who read this- brennan is the loml and i will infodump about her until the end of time

#bones tv #bones on fox #temperance brennan #bonestv #brennan #emily deschanel #autistic headcanon #autistic pride #actuallyautistic #autistic brennan #autistic bones #autistic characters #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #my headcanons

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warmau · 3 years

Text

"i don't even like bugs."

jaemin shrugs as he shows his intern pass to the security of the front gates of the botanical garden

he mentions that you're accompanying him today as a visitor and you smile at the guard who pays you two half a gaze

"well i mean - they're butterflies not like cockroaches or anything so have some optimism?"

you don't argue, among your group of friends jaemin is kind of the symbol of optimism. sometimes it's misguided - like now - but you don't want to put a damper on his mood

after all, he's actually here to do a job

you are here on a summer assignment you have to complete for a photography elective you added to your uni program for the next semester

"nature photography" was the highlight of the project, everyone had been emailed a subject to take pictures of while off from school

you had expected maybe the beach, or flowers, or even tourists walking around in floppy hats

when you'd opened the professor's email and saw "butterflies" you had not been thrilled

but you were lucky enough to know that jaemin had scored his current internship at the botanical gardens, and while he was working with his weirdly favorite thing in the world - fungi

he could also get you access to the butterfly garden, a large indoor space for the various breeds of butterflies from around the world, before it officially opened to the public

"the pavilion is over there, i think renjun will be able to let you in."

jaemin says, pointing down a hill lined by pretty bushes that leads to a glass structure at the bottom

you turn to ask if he wants to meet for lunch, but he's already jogging in the opposite direction

you sigh, fishing your camera out of your bag - which is something you've borrowed from your parents because 'iphone photos are not allowed'

they're just butterflies like jaemin said, they're like...cute bugs.

you tell yourself as you get closer, turning the camera on and then coming to a pause in front of the glass doors that have a clear padlock on them

you loop around and try to find 'renjun' - but no one is in sight

secretly a little relieved that you don't have to go inside right away, you try to find a part of the glass structure where you can possibly get a nice shot of some of the butterflies from outside

a lot of the vines and flowers get in the way, so you struggle until finally, you find a spot that's open and peers right into the middle of the enclosed garden

you can see the butterflies, little splashes of colors that fly past you - magnificent oranges, reds, and blues

you admit they're pretty

but they're even prettier because they're not near you

and then something - no someone - comes into your frame

his narrow shoulders are engulfed by an oversized plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up by the elbows.

over the shirt is a gardening apron and on his hands are a pair of worn-out gloves

his profile is hidden by the dark hair that falls in a curtain and ends in a tickle at his jawline.

one, bright streak of bleach blonde runs through the black.

he reaches out to touch a half-bloomed flower and you watch as the butterflies float on by him

you nearly drop the camera when he turns and locks his gaze with your own

is that renjun? if so im going to kill jaemin! he didn't tell me he was so infuriatingly pretty!

without knowing how to talk to him through the glass, and because the words disintegrate in your mouth, you point to the camera

"jaemin's friend?"

oh, you can hear through the glass

"ye-yeah!"

"one second."

the sound of a click and some scuttling turns your attention toward where the door to the garden opens for a swift second, just enough for renjun to step through, before it closes again

probably to make sure none of the butterflies get out

you grip your camera and when renjun doesn't move, you make the small trip over to him

"jaemin said you're here for a project."

renjun speaks and his voice is softer when it isn't muffled through glass

"for my photography class in the fall, my subject is butterflies."

"what kind?"

your eyes get a little wider with confusion

"what kind?" you parrot

renjun's neutral expression doesn't change

"what kind of butterflies? there are over seventeen thousand species of butterflies - we might not have the species you are looking for."

"i-" you stammer, wondering for a split second if renjun is joking around, "there isn't a specific species it's just....all of them?"

renjun tilts his head as if that notion doesn't really make sense to him, but shrugs and turns toward the door again

"im going to open it quickly so just follow me."

you make a sound of agreement, but when renjun pulls the handle and steps inside.....and you can't move.

the door closes behind him with a sound that makes you jump and renjun turns to stare at you through the glass with a furrowed brow

"what are you doing?"

he doesn't bother opening the door again and you shake your head as a shiver runs through your shoulders

"a-actually is it ok if i stay out here?"

"i thought you needed to take photos?"

"i can take them from here - this lens is r-really good."

renjun doesn't seem to be buying your excuse, but he checks his watch and nods, before disappearing back into the middle of the indoor garden

you take a second to try and figure out what happened - am i scared of going inside? is it the butterflies or is it renjun?

you decide it's the butterflies.

renjun's just a boy - you aren't scared of that, but the thought of being somewhere covered with bugs

pretty bugs or not

is kind of ..... scary.

you pick your camera back up and circle back to your original spot

although renjun is nowhere in the focus, you are delighted to see some butterflies have come to nestle among the plants in view

you bring up the camera and take some shots

one butterfly is sitting directly on the leaves - big grayish, blue wings spread open and engulfed in the sunlight that shines through the glass

you zoom in on it, capturing the full expanse of the wings that stand out on the green

you get so invested you hardly notice the door open up again and then a voice speaks from behind your shoulder

"it's a pseudozizeeria maha."

you don't turn around and just stare at the butterfly still

"a wha- what?"

"a pale grass blue. they're native to south asia but are really common here too. they were first discovered by vincenz kollar, an austrian entomologist."

the sentence nearly makes you dizzy, but you thank renjun for the information

not seeing the small shy smile that casts over his lips when you do

you want to turn and show him the shot you took, but he's already stepping past you to the other side of the pavilion

the time sort of slips away from you before you can check it again and you only leave when jaemin comes jogging down from the greenery to whisk you off for lunch

"should we invite ren-"

you start, but jaemin is already twinkling eyes and nonstop talking about all the fun fungi he's spent his day with.

when you're back home you start to look through the photos you took

most of them aren't super great and the shine of the sun reflects on the glass

you know the only way you're going to get a perfect shot (or at least an acceptable one for this dumb summer project) is if you go inside the actual butterfly garden

sighing, you click to the last shot and are surprised to see that in the far left corner you see renjun's hand - gloved and in the palm of it is a small butterfly that has landed just in time for your shutter to go off

the rest of renjun is out of focus so you can't even see his, very pretty, face

isn't it weird, that he can be around them so easily and im so scared?

you zoom in a bit and wonder how nice it would have been to get a clear photo of the moment. that would be something you could definitely submit to your professor.

before any more thoughts of renjun can float through your mind, your phone pings and you look to see jaemin's contact name

did you get your shot? you can come with me on my next shift if you want to take more photos

you type back a reply before you can even think of it in your head

really? then I'll tag along :) want to take some more photos

jaemin confirms and then sends another paragraph talking about mushrooms and leaves and plants

and you giggle because he's funny and passionate, and also

guess i might see renjun again?

it's hotter than you can put into words the next time you show up at the butterfly garden

you're standing outside in the absolute sweltering heat and maybe the thought of possible colder temperatures inside the pavilion are tempting

plus - renjun is in there - he had waved at you when he saw you standing outside again

this time his apron thrown over a short sleeve shirt and some long jeans

he had motioned toward the door but you had just played off that you were ok outside. burning alive or whatever.

you found the same spot as before, wiping the sweat from your forehead before lifting the camera up in hopes of catching a good picture

but all you see through the lens was renjun, who'd taken the time to roll up the sleeves of his shirt and had seemingly abandoned the heavy apron somewhere inside

his longer hair had been clipped back and he was reaching down to heave a bag of soil up and over his shoulder

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

you are caught between taking a photo and just aiming your lens somewhere else out of embarrassment

either way, renjun doesn't seem to notice and continues working, saving you from the horror that would be seeing him turn and stare back at you

but this somehow goes on for the entire time you're there

you go to snap a photo, but renjun is somewhere in the frame

it must just be bad luck and timing

but by the time you're sitting at the garden's cafe with jaemin after his shift and you're going through your photos

all of them have renjun in them somehow

"woah i thought your project was butterflies not huang renjun's?"

jaemin jokes, sipping his iced coffee with an overly excited wiggle of his eyebrows

"shuttup - i just....it's because i am taking them from the outside, i need to figure out a way to get inside and just take the photo and be done with it!"

jaemin outstretches his hand

"gimmie your camera, ill go take one"

you snatch the camera off the table and vehemently shake your head

"no. the last time i trusted you with something expensive, you broke it in the first five minutes."

"hey! i thought ipads were waterproof nowadays like technology really hasn't come that far?"

you roll your eyes in response, to which jaemin sticks out his tongue and then claps his hands together in revelation

"why not ask renjun to take the photo?"

"because i don't know him that we-"

with a dismissive wave of his hand jaemin cuts you off

"he's not a stranger - i know him! if i know him, you know him. plus renjun is super careful and responsible - he's my age and ive already heard some of the directors talking about how they'd hire him as more than an intern if he wasn't still in university!"

wow, i mean i always got the impression he was mature, but...

"c'mon, i bet he'll say yes too! he's really nice!"

finally agreeing and promising jaemin you'll ask renjun when you come back to the garden again

you pretend the nervous feeling in your stomach is just because you don't know renjun that well

not because you also happen to think he's breathtaking to look at - and that it's going to be hell trying to explain to someone who knows so much about insects that you're too scared to go inside and take a measly little photo of them

you find yourself at home, with your laptop open, googling species of butterflies because you think you should at least pick one and ask renjun if he can possibly take a photo of that one

maybe your effort will make the conversation easier

maybe he'll like that i know the latin name for a - what was it? gonepteryx cleopatra?

of course, the next time jaemin brings you along - and abandons you with a thumbs up for his mushrooms and fungi - you are frozen still at the entrance of the butterfly garden

like a broken machine - you just re-read the sign over and over again - announcing that the garden will be finally open to the public in a week

and you nearly short circuit when someone clears their throat behind you

turning around, it's of course renjun, and he's giving you a weird look that is already making this whole situation bad

"h-hey renjun-"

"do you want to go inside with me today?"

you swallow and think you should really just suck it up and go inside. the butterflies aren't going to sting, bite, or eat you - but

"a-actually i wanted to ask you does the garden have any.....any um....gonep- um whats the word gonepetry? gonepetri? um-"

without a beat renjun finishes the sentence for you

"gonepteryx cleopatra's? no, those butterflies favor the mediterranean so getting them here is hard."

"right...well actually i was wondering"

renjun blinks

"oh and you can call them cleopatra's if you want. but unfortunately no, i don't have any in the garden."

god ok, how do i pivot this conversation...

"oh that's cute, um actually i also have a question-"

he waits expectingly and for some odd reason as the second's tick by he gets cuter and you get quieter and it is just a huge mess

and you think you should just book it and let renjun think you're a weirdo

when you finally lift up your camera and take a breath

"do you think you could take the photo of a butterfly for me?"

his brown eyes widen

"oh - like the photo for your project?"

"y-yeah. it's just......im really scared to go in there...bugs are not my thing. i know it's pathetic and they're just butterflies but-"

you look down and the sun and renjun's gaze are getting too heavy to handle

"but i just don't know if i can even focus when there are so many flying around....does that make sense?"

the beat of silence that follows is almost miserable but renjun just points behind him and says

"follow me."

the next thing you know you are trying to keep up with him as he walks past the butterfly garden and down a path hugged by greenery

it's way past where you've ever been and you ask renjun where he's going

only for him to insist you hurry up a little bit

before you know it you are both standing in front of a large, open iron gate, and behind it are rows and rows and rows of rose bushes

they range in color and size and the smell that permeates the air is so lovely you suddenly feel like you're in a fairytale

renjun leans closely to inspect a couple and then stops in front of a bush adorned in the brightest pink roses you must have ever seen in your life

"butterflies are attracted to roses, the colors are vibrant and they pollinate them."

"b-butterflies pollinate? like bees?"

renjun laughs, the sound adds to the almost dreamy vibe - with the way it sounds like the lightest piano keys

"yes and look - i can understand that you'd be scared of being inside a place full of butterflies, but here in the rose garden there are only a couple here and there."

he squats down and cups the petals of a flower with such a gentleness

you follow and are surprised to see a butterfly, with bright blue wings, nestled in the center of the rose

renjun flicks his eyes to your camera bag and you immediately understand why he's brought you here

without making too much noise you get your camera out and steady the lens - just one butterfly does not intimidate you like being in a glass, enclosed pavillion full of hundreds

so you can take the photo easily - though just as you click the shutter makes a noise and the butterfly takes off

you pout and look up to see if renjun is startled by the sudden escape of the focus of your photograph

when you gasp and see that another butterfly, this one a bright orange has settled on the tip of renjun's nose

without missing the moment - you raise the camera

and snap another photo, not taking the time to adjust the zoom or anything

just wanting to capture the little miracle

the butterfly seems to recognize renjun's pretty face is not a flower, not that you fault the butterfly for thinking that it was

as it flaps its wings and goes in search of another rose

you brighten up when you look at the preview on your camera

no blur or sun glare! it's a perfect shot!

and you lean close to renjun to show him and he leans in too

and the centimeter distance only dawns on the two of you when you look up and renjun has already turned his attention on you two

a heat spreads up your face, as it does renjun's and you both pull back from the scalding feeling

"i-"

"sorry-"

shooting back up to your feet you kind of wobble in this moment of awkwardness and then renjun asks

"will you use that photo for your project?"

"oh - if you don't want me to i won't, i think i can use the other-"

"you can use it."

he rubs his arm and then locks his gaze back on you

"but does this mean you won't come back to the gardens anymore?"

i guess since my project is done, he's right. i don't have any excuse to come and bother him by loitering around anymore.

you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and give a little shrug

"probably, jaemin's internship ends soon too so-"

"then would you be ok with seeing me- well-"

renjun flusters

which is somehow a shocking different from his usual blank expression of utter handsomeness. the stark difference is loveable and you almost have to stop yourself from falling over.

"well what i mean is would you want to maybe see me - outside of the garden.....like not here but somewhere else?"

"to hangout?"

you grip your camera and renjun half nods, but then you can see he's trying to think of the right word

"yes to hangout and like....but different, like a different kind of hangout."

confusion settles on your face and you are about to ask what he means exactly when someone burst between you two

"there you two are! sorry, was i interrupting renjun asking you on a date?"

jaemin's voice manages to echo even though you're all outside

and you push him playfully as renjun rids himself of jaemin's body weight and huffs

"aren't you supposed to be looking at toadstools are something jaemin?"

"first of all, toadstools are unscientific and not the correct term for a class of mushrooms. so mind your manners, and second - why would i want to miss the exciting moment where you too finally agree to go out!"

you catch renjun's gaze and it's as big and as wide as yours

"w-was that what you were asking, if i would go on a date with you?"

the words shock you ask they spill from your mouth

renjun nods, slowly, and then casts a look at jaemin

"yes. before this one interrupted."

jaemin looks between you two as if he is guilty of nothing

for a second you forget about him and then nod back

"y-yes id love to!"

renjun's face softens and he's about to ask for your number when jaemin claps his hands and the sound probably rattles the earth underneath you three

"amazing! this is truly a moment to remember!"

you and renjun both lurch at him and he laughs as you two tell him to go back to his mushrooms

and yet somehow, you three are all smiles when the day comes to an end because you and renjun have set up a date and jaemin is taking most of the credit for it

that summer, after you send the photo of the butterfly nestled perfectly on the tip of renjun's nose to your professor, is one that stays with you forever

you spend most of it with renjun, whenever he isn't busy with his butterflies, learning more and more about him

the little things like he doesn't like cilantro, he frequently doodles and draws in his free time, and he breaks everything he does down into a meticulous step by step process

you watch in fascination as he organizes his side dishes by the order he eats them, tabs the important dates in his planner, and pins your candid photos in a perfectly straight line above his desk

you know some of his friends call him a stickler, but it's really just another thing you grow to like about him

after all - your birthday gets a special, green tab in his planner. green means extra, extra, extra important

as for the butterfly garden .... you try a couple of times to go in. each time, renjun lists off a million reasons why butterflies are great and docile and not dangerous or scary

but every time you kind of apologize and say you can't do it - which renjun doesn't hark on you for

he just takes your hand and kisses the back of it, asks if you want to go visit jaemin or see the roses again

and as much as you love your friend, there's been too many instances of renjun leaning in to tuck your hair from your face and kiss you, all while jaemin pops up between you two like he's at the movies

and you two have to turn around and shoo him off as he insists he just wants to bear witness to the romance of the century

you and renjun sprawl across his bed, looking up at the ceiling as he finds comfort in counting the stripes on your shirt in silence and you mumble about how the summer is almost over and you won't be able to just be lazy like this with him anymore

the days of doing absolutely nothing

renjun props himself on his elbow and looks at you seriously

"spending time with someone you love isn't doing nothing. it's the act of growing closer."

you almost blurt out that that's the most romantic thing you've ever heard and you are going to cry

but instead, circle your hands around his neck and flip him over to be under you

poor renjun tells his directors he got bit by a species from the culicidae family (mosquito) to try and hide the blotch on his collarbone

and while the directors are impressed with renjun's knowledge of insects, jaemin just gives him the good old finger guns of 'yeah. sure'.

your photograph gets great marks from your professor, who replies to the image with praise about the lightening and angle

and the way you managed to capture both your boyfriend and the butterfly

you read the email to renjun over the phone and can almost hear the blush on him when you say boyfriend

you wonder if the future is going to be as sweet as this summer, can someone like you who is so terrified of the creatures renjun has structured his whole life around, really be the right choice for him

and when you ask renjun this, on the day before your classes officially start in the fall

he says that you don't have to be just like him for him to love you

it's the fact that you're so very you that he feels stronger about this relationship than he has about any other

and who cares that you don't like bugs. it just means that if you live together in the future he can be the one to get the spider under the cup and let it free while you lock yourself in the bathroom out of fear

you giggle at this, your heart beating against your ribs at the thought of a future so domestic with the boy smiling down at you

and the best thing is that future comes to fruition

when a decade later you're waiting for renjun outside of the botanical garden, where he strolls out with his co-worker jaemin whose holding a funny looking pot of yellow-topped mushrooms

"date night for the newlyweds?"

he wiggles his eyebrows the same way he did when you two were in college

you shoo him off with the hand that has your wedding ring on it and you tuck your hand through renjun's

"date night for you and some fungi, jaemin?"

he makes a face at your comment and bounds off in the direction of his car

you look up at renjun who chuckles to himself and pecks your lips in a greeting

"how are the butterflies this year?"

you ask as you two turn to walk down the street

"beautiful - do you think this might be the year you finally visit the garden?"

you scrunch up your nose and mumble that maybe, you'll have to see if after ten years your fear really hasn't gotten any better

he smiles and says you can take your time - ten, twenty, thirty

he'll be by your side when you decide it is time

you stop to look at him - seeing for a moment the flash of the boy with the butterfly on his nose - and smile

"and ill be by your side for anything and everyhing too."

he picks your hand up with his own - your matching rings gleam in the setting sun

"i know, that's why i married you."

#me and the website for people who butterfly watch became besties for this au #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #renjun au #renjun #nct dream #nct dream au #member: renjun #sfw #butterflies/#insects/#nct dream scenarios #renjun x reader #nostalgia au

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nikki152006 · 3 years

Text

My Man - Shouta Aizawa X Reader (~1~)

You walked into the large gates of U.A., which had hardly changed since when you had last been here, in your third year as a student. You could still remember yourself running out of the gates with Shirakumo when the school ended, while Aizawa and Hizashi caught up from behind, running and shouting, carrying your school bags which you both had thrown at them.

You walked over to the teacher's lounge, for the very first day as a teacher at U.A. High, hoping you'd meet your best friends as soon as possible. You had missed them terribly, all of them, for the last ten years you were in America, for your mother's cancer treatment.

You sighed as you slowly opened the door to the teacher's lounge and walked in slowly.

"Ah." All Might's skinny figure said, "(L/N), you're here." Since the Kamino ward incident, when you saw the interview of the U.A. staff as well as the fight between the weird villain and All Might, All Might's true form had been revealed to the whole world.

"This is the new teacher I was telling you abou-" All Might said, but halted his speech as someone pulled you into a large bear hug.

"(NAME)!!" Hizashi shouted, "You're back." A wide grin made it's way to your face. "Hizashi!" you said, hugging him tighter. After a few moments of hugging, he let you go, only to start bragging and telling the others about all the stuff you used to do at U.A. together and how you used to be best of friends with him and Aizawa.

'Shouta,' you thought, remembering the guy you had loved all your U.A. years, 'Where is that brat?' Your eyes skimmed through the people but he wasn't there. Your lips tightened as you inhaled deeply and glanced around the room, and thankfully, you found him leaned against a wall in one corner of the room with a conflicted look on his face.

"Shouta!" you said, happily, running over to him and pulling him into a big tight hug. He didn't hug you back. "You brat," you said, as an odd sense of disappointment feel over you, "do you have any idea how much I missed you guys. Idiot."

"Y-Yeah, yeah." Aizawa said, pulling away from the hug and looking away. "I-Is there something wrong?" you asked him, taken aback by his actions. Aizawa shook his head in denial and turned to look at you again, but with the same gaze he had for you back when you were students. You smiled widely at him and playfully punched him. "Tsundere." you said, making him groan and look away.

"So, what do I do today?" you asked the rest of the teachers, who then handed you your teaching schedule while Aizawa and Hizashi left for their homeroom classes after giving you sad looks and you telling them to some to you in the lunch break.

_____________________________________________________________

"How were the classes?" Hizashi asked you, as you sat over with him, Aizawa and Nemuri Kayama (Midnight) for lunch. "Pretty good actually." you said, "It was class 1C and 1B today and the kids are pretty good."

"Oh, you haven't seen Shouta's class yet!" Hizashi said. You grinned and turned to Aizawa. "You gonna introduce me to your class or not?" you asked. "No." Aizawa said, blandly, "Don't even let them have an idea that you're related to me."

You and Hizashi laughed. Aizawa hadn't changed much, he was still the biggest tsundere you had ever seen.

"Who do you think was the most promising student in class 1B, (L/N)?" Kayama asked. "Please call me (Name)," you said, "And I think there were a few. That dork Monomoa is pretty good but he's kinda a brat and Kendo and Juzo were pretty good."

"Call me Nemuri too!" Kayama chirped. "And what about 1C though?"

"Some kid called Shinsou, looked as half-dead as Aizawa." you said, shrugging. "Oh," Nemuri said, "Looks like your son's got the lead, Aizawa."

You choked on your drink. "AIZAWA HAS A SON!?" you asked, sounding shocked from the outside, but your heart tearing apart from the inside.

"Not biological, he's adopted." Hizashi said, chuckling and patting your back. You stared at Aizawa who had his head turned away. "Wait," you said, "What exactly happened?"

Hizashi explained how Aizawa was now the legal guardian of Shinsou and how with a lot of requesting, Aizawa had finally, legally adopted Shinsou.

"God.." you whispered out, " and I thought he managed to get married." Hizashi began laughing again, remembering your and Shirakumo's old joke about Aizawa not being able to get married since he'd doze off during the wedding.

"Stop it." Aizawa groaned. "(Name), you have a class in 1A after the break." You grinned widely at him, "Now that's the spirit!" you said, patting him hard on the back, making him choke on his food, "Be the good boy."

"What the hell." Aizawa growled, looking away. "Aww..." you said, "Looks like our...uh." you said, glancing at Nemuri while Hizashi began laughing out lous realizing what you were gonna say, "Looks like our...sweet father's blushing."

Nemuri began laughing out loud for some reason. "I've never seen someone handle Aizawa like that before! He's actually blushing" she shrieked amidst her laughter. You chuckled, punching the back of Aizawa's head softly. He had never complained when you did stuff like this.

"God, (Name)," Aizawa groaned, "Grow up already, will ya?"

"I can't when you're still the whiny baby boy~" you taunted with a sadist grin. Aizawa groaned again, massaging his temples, while Hizashi smiled the widest he had in these last few years, his eyes going moistly. He had missed all this so much.

The bell rang. "To class." Aizawa said, sighing. "You won't enter until I tell you to." he said, taking the lead and walking inside the classroom.

You waited outside while Aizawa took his time talking to his class about something. "Why are you outside here?" Hizashi's voice came from behind you. "Because Shouta asked me to wait." you said, shrugging and sighing.

"Wanna go in already then?" Hizashi said with a mischievous grin, knowing exactly how much it'd piss Aizawa off. You grinned and nodded back.

You both burst into the classroom, drawing everyone's attention. "HEYA LITTLE KIDS!" Hizashi shouted loudly making you wince due to his high pitch.

"What the hell?" Aizawa growled. You flashed him with a grin similar to his signature sadist smile. "I WANNA INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR A NEW TEACHER, (NAME) (L/N)!" Hizashi shouted. You waved out to the kids you recognized from the sports festival.

"PLUS SHE'S VEry close to your sensei and me!" Hizashi said, while Aizawa used his quirk to cut out his voice amplification mid sentence.

Something wrapped around your neck and you and Hizashi were pulled forward by Aizawa's special capturing weapons only to be faced by an angry faced, glowy eyed, hair standing up-ed Aizawa who growled, "Get out, both of you."

"Aizawa sensei, is that your daughter?" a girl with long green hair asked.

"Pfffftttt..." you and Hizashi clasped your hands on your mouth to avoid laughing out loud but it didn't work. It couldn't with what she had said. You both burst out in uncontrollable laughter while Aizawa groaned loudly and turned to the girl with a death glare.

"O-Only because she's got a black costume like yours and Present Mic sensei said she was close to you!" the girl blurted out hurriedly.

"Shut up or you'll regret it." Aizawa growled, making you and Hizashi, who were almost lying down on the floor clasp your hands to your mouth to stop laughing. If Aizawa got angry, he was deadly and you both knew better than to get him that way.

"Like I said," Aizawa said, "Principal Nezu has decided to let Shinsou into the class, and beside that, the new teacher will be assisting in today's battle training.

_____________________________________________________________

You cracked your knuckles and neck and plopped onto the couch in the teachers' dorm's common area. It was still just your first day and Aizawa had made sure to burden you with two piles of test papers to correct.

"You're a monster, you know." you told Aizawa, after Nemuri left you alone with your two best friends. It was pretty late already and everyone had left for their rooms. Aizawa flashed you his sadistic grin, and you flipped him off.

You finally walked over to your desk which was right beside his and started correcting the papers. "Coffee, anyone?" Hizashi called out as he got up from his seat. "Me." you groaned, circling out the dumbest mistake you had ever seen. "Get me one too." Aizawa said, and Hizashi walked off, towards the cafeteria downstairs.

There was some silence as you quietly corrected papers, glancing at Aizawa after every few seconds. Aizawa's eyebrows furrowed as he marked a paper and used his left hand to slowly rub his chin. 'Sexy.' you thought, blushing and turning away to your own papers. You corrected another one effortlessly, which was almost completely correct.

You looked back up at Aizawa who was holding out two papers, as though comparing them. He let out a 'tch' and scribbled something on both the papers and sighed, picking up the next one. "You want something?" he said, suddenly, making you jolt and look back at your papers.

Aizawa turned to look at you, wondering why you'd been glancing at him. "(Name)?" he said again, when you didn't reply.

"W-What did you write on those papers?" you blurted out, and thankfully, he seemed convinced that this was exactly what you were wondering.

"Ashido and Kaminari." he said, "Students in my class looks like they've copied each other's answers." You nodded and looked away. You exhaled out deeply, feeling all the feelings you had for him during your school years, which had still remained over this time, light up again.

"Shouta~" you breathed out subconsciously, thinking about how you and Shirakumo used to say embarrassing things to him during your school years to cause him to fluster up or look away, embarrassed, and Shirakumo and Hizashi always amplified it tenfold by passing embarrassing and sometimes even lewd comments to fluster him even more.

"Hm?" Shouta asked, making you jolt. You didn't reply, but instead, froze as deer infront of headlights. "You need something?" he asked. You didn't reply.

"(Name)?" he said, looking up from his papers to see you frozen, your eyes fixed on the desk. "Hey." he said, but you didn't reply. A million thoughts were running through your mind, half of how sexy he sounded, and half of what excuse you should make for your accidentally blurting out his name in your thoughts.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and jolted hard, falling off the chair.

"What the hell, (Name)," Aizawa said, getting off his chair hurriedly and crouching beside you, "What's wrong with you?"

You turned to him, biting your lower lip, unable to understand whether it was the fact that Hizashi had left you both alone or that he was crouched above you that was making you want to pull him and kiss him roughly.

"Are you okay?" he asked. You looked away and nodded, composing yourself and getting up. "Where were you lost?" he asked. You let out an awkward chuckle. "I was......correcting the papers!" you said, even more awkwardly.

Aizawa raised a brow at you, but turned around when the door of the teacher's dormhouse opened.

"Dad." Shinsou said, stepping in, but halting when his eyes fell on you. "Why aren't you in your dormroom?" Aizawa asked him, as you took the chance to compose yourself and sit down on the chair.

"I...needed to talk..." Shinsou said, awkwardly, "I'm...not disturbing something...am I?"

You felt heat rise to your cheeks. 'I wish you were.' you thought, as Aizawa replied with a quick "No" and walked over to him. They both talked to each other silently for some time before Shinsou left and Aizawa came back to sit beside you.

"Now," Aizawa said, turning his chair towards you and sitting down with a concern clearly visible in his eyes, "What happened? Is there something wrong? You never used to zone out."

You stared deep into his eyes, feeling a hot bubbly feeling in your heart. Shouta Aizawa, you'd liked him from your first year in U.A. and had always been a good friend of him and the other two boys, until the third year, when your friendship grew to get stronger and stronger, so strong that you four were almost inseparable, well, that was until Shirakumo died during his work studies, leaving the three of you heartbroken.

"I've...had some things on mind these past years." you said, after a sigh. You knew you had always been close to Aizawa, you and Shirokumo had taunted and annoyed him in tons, but he never complained since he loved you both. You hoped his feelings towards you were romantic but knew that he wouldn't understand until he was confessed to directly.

"Yeah?" he asked, patiently. You inhaled deeply, preparing yourself for confessing your feelings to him.

"I...." you said, as alot of heat rushed through your body, making you sweat slightly and rapidly increasing your heartbeat. "Y-You...I..." Aizawa sighed and got up, dragging you along to the couch and plopped down, pulling you beside him.

"Relax." he said, "Just say it."

"Y-You're ...cute?" you mumbled, nervously. Aizawa stared at you in disbelief. "I'm being serious. Don't joke around with me, (Name), what's wrong?"

You tapped your foot on the floor, thinking of the right way to say it but knew that you'd have to say it straight.

"Mm...Sh-Shouta.." you said, turning to him with trembling lips. Aizawa's gaze never left yours, as his hand made it's way to your head, slowly ruffling your head. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice the softest you had ever heard.

You inhaled deeply, leaning forward onto him. "(N-Name)?" he said, leaning a little back, unsure of what you were doing. You climbed onto him and stared at him dead in the eye. "Shouta, I.." you said, about to say the words 'love you' but your brain did a backflip and you blurted out, "N-Need to tell you something." instead.

Aizawa stared at you, with creased eyebrows, unable to understand what was wrong with you and why you were almost climbed onto his lap. The thought made heat rise to his cheeks. He just hoped you didn't make it all more difficult for him.

You inhaled deeply bit your lower lip. 'I've got to say this.' you thought and said, "Shouta, I...listen, I don't know whether you feel the same way but I've....I've always..liked you..you know..romantically. Ever since our first year in U.A., I began developing these feelings...and stuff...I-It's no problem if you don't feel the same way but...we'll always be friends and that'll be enough for me. Shouta, I love you."

Aizawa's eyes widened and he winced hard, as though regretting something. You suddenly became aware of the several tears flowing down your cheeks.

"Dammit." Aizawa growled and pushed you off of him so hard that you fell on the ground. "Are you crazy!?" he shouted, turning around and rubbing his temples. "Are you fucking crazy!?"

"Sh-Shouta?" you mumbled, out, the tears in your eyes increasing and blurring out your vision. You crawled over to his crouched figure who was rubbing his temples. "Sh-Shouta...I-I'm sorry.." you mumbled, placing a hand on your back, which he swatted away immediately.

"Sh-Shouta..." you said, your voice turning into a whisper, as your tears drenched your cheeks. "Aizawa." he snarled, "You fucking call me Aizawa." Your heart dropped.

"B-But we're best friends, right?" you asked, in a scared, uncertain tone. "I don't think so." Aizawa growled, "I'd very much like you to fuck off."

Your heart broke.

You had never confessed to him in school because you had valued your friendship too much and weren't very ready for relationships then, but now, that you'd been so sure that he would have missed you, and thought that it was the right time to let him know, it hurt, it hurt so much.

"GO AWAY!" Aizawa shouted, making you flinch and jolt away. You got up, tears flowing over your wet cheeks, your body trembling and ran outside. You ran away outside the building and over into the forest-like grove of trees. It hurt, it hurt so much that you wanted to scream and cry madly.

"(Name)?" Hizashi's voice called you out from some distance away. You tried to silent your sniffs and sobs while you cuddled up with yourself under the large tree you were sitting under. It was evening already and the air was getting chilly.

"God." Hizashi said, jogging upto you, "I've been finding you for over an hour now." he said. You let out a hitched exhale, regretting not being quiet enough to avoid him finding you.

"C'mon." he said, pulling you up to stand with him, "Let's go. I need to tell you something." You, not being in the condition to respond or resist, just allowed him to take you wherever he was dragging you along. Hizashi walked outside the large tree grove, and took you over to a tree beside one of the gyms.

"Sit down, I need to tell you something." he repeated. You quietly sat down, still sobbing. Hizashi scanned you sadly, seeing your messy haris, sticking you your dirty, wet cheeks and your trembling body. He sighed and put his coat over you.

"I heard it all." he told you, crouching in front of you and ruffling your hair. "The reason why Shouta reacted like that was not that he didn't like you, (Name)."

_____________________________________________________________

Aizawa walked out of the teacher's dormhouse, his heart aching badly. He wanted to forget it, he wanted to forget you confessing to him but he couldn't. He wanted you to stop having those feelings for him but he knew you wouldn't. He sighed, rubbing his throbbing chest before turning towards the gyms, hoping to distract his mind. He couldn't bear the guilt of liking you anymore. It just hurt.

He walked over to gym beta, but what he saw made his heart clench tight. You were sitting against a tree, your hair messy and sticking to your dirty cheeks while your body trembled under Hizashi's jacket. Aizawa clenched his hand to stop his urge of consoling you. Your confession repeated in his mind.

It was taking alot to control his feelings, but Aizawa wasn't going to let him take over what was meant for Shirakumo. 'He wouldn't have wanted this, he would never have wanted her to cry like this.' a voice in the back of his head said and before he could even realize it, Aizawa had used his binding weapon to move over the gym and secretly jump onto the tree you both were sitting under.

"The reason why Shouta reacted like that was not that he didn't like you, (Name)." Hizashi said. Aizawa's eyes widened. 'H-He...He doesn't know...does he?' he thought, glancing down at Hizashi who was slowly rubbing your back as you lied against him, looking up at him with puffy eyes.

"Aizawa did that because....Shirakumo....he...he had the biggest crush on you." Your eyes widened, along with Aizawa's.

"It was our first year." Hizashi said, "After the sports festival, Shirakumo started to find you really interesting and he talked alot about you to us. By the end of the first year, you were a sort of good friend to us already, and that's when he told us that he had a crush on you. By the start of the second year, me and Shouta would sometimes tease him about you and stuff and we began to talk to you more and more. We all got closer and became besties, but by the end of the second year, Shirakumo told me something I hadn't ever realized before."

You looked at him with widened eyes. You had never known any of this. You had never know that Shirakumo had a crush on you.

"Shirakumo told me that you had feelings for Shouta." Hizashi said, " I was shocked and kind of sad for him but he was happy, really happy. When I asked him why he was happy, he told me that he realized in the beginning of the second year that Shouta had feelings for you, which he hid from all of us because he didn't want to intrude between you guys. Yeah, Shouta too, had a crush on you in school but he hid his feeling because he didn't want Shirakumo to feel bad about it."

Aizawa's eyes widened. He hadn't ever known that Shirakumo had known about his crush on you and despite his best efforts in hiding it, he failed to do so.

"Shirakumo told me that day, that you were perfect, not for him, but for Shouta, and that every little outing he had planned that year, and every little joke he made alongside you, about how Shouta got tired, or how he dozed off, everything was just so that you both could get closer. (Name), Shirakumo did have a crush on you initially because he liked you alot, but he wanted you and Shouto to be together."

Aizawa inhaled shallowly, feeling tears in his eyes. He had never known that the person for whom he had been hiding his feelings for you was actually trying to set him up with you, despite having the biggest crush on you.

"Remember the time when we went to the amusement part and you and Shirakumo ended up making Shouta so embarrassed that he hid his face in his jacket and ran away?"

You nodded. Aizawa breathed out, shallowly, remembering the day.

"Hey Shouta," Shirakumo said, "It's just ice cream. You're eating it like some five-year old eats broccoli." You began giggling, drawing Shirakumo's attention, while Aizawa felt his lips twitch into a small smile. He loved it when you laughed. Aizawa immediately composed himself, hiding his smile.

"(Name)! (Name)!" Shirakumo said, "Okay, I got an idea." You, Aizawa and Hizashi turned to him, while still licking all your ice creams.

"How about you give us some advice?" he said. "What sort of advice?" you asked. Shirakumo smirked.

"I bet all of us boys might have some crush or the other, right?" he said, leaning over onto Aizawa's shoulders. "Just tell us from the point of view of any other girl, what we look like." Aizawa froze, gulping hoping that Shirakumo wouldn't have found out about his crush on you.

"What you look like?" you asked. Shirakumo nodded, "Like Hizashi looks like the bright, loud and always cheery sort of person to any other girl, uh...like...what do you think girls see us as?"

"Oh...Ok, lets see...Hizashi as the loud and always cheery guy." you said, "You like...hmmm..the attractive and charismatic guy which every girl would want. Actually some girls do call you 'husband material' behind your back." you told Shirakumo.

"And what about Shouta?" he asked. You turned to Shouta who was glancing at Shirakumo with a worried gaze.

"Hmm.. to me he's like the cute supportive family guy who's a big tsundere on the outside. No, wait, you know what, this isn't about my choice, so, Shouta looks like the sexy tsundere guy who the girl'd call daddy or some shit like that." you said, with a wide grin. Shirakumo grinned and placed his elbow on your shoulder. "I wonder," he said, "I wonder who all thinks about him that way. Shouta, you've sure got some sexiness into you, huh."

Aizawa groaned and looked away.

"He'd get many options for wives," you said, with an evil smirk, "Only if he didn't doze of mid-wedding." you and Shirakumo said in unison laughing, making Aizawa groan and tell you to "Stop it already."

"AW." Shirakumo said, "Look, our sugar daddy's blushing." Aizawa exhaled out deeply in annoyance. "C'mon, sugar daddy." you said, as you and Hizashi laughed, "Don't be angry with us~" Aizawa choked on the large bite of ice cream he had taken on hearing what you said and glanced away blushing awfully.

You began laughing out loud. "Nah.." you said, "He's like a blushing little kitten." Shirakumo laughed out loud, "Damn, if I was gay I'd be totally onto him. "

"Me too...wait, I don't even need to be gay to like him.." you said, and then lightly punched Aizawa on the shoulder, "What d'ya say Shouta~"

You and Shirakumo burst into laughter as Shouto covered his face with his jacket and hurried away.

"That day, the main reason Shirakumo wanted you to tell us what you thought other girls would see us as was because he wanted Shouta to know what you felt about him. " You wiped your tears, which were no longer because of Shouta, but because of Shirakumo. 'That brat.' you thought shakily.

"You know, the day when he....died.." Hizaki croaked out, wiping his own tears, "Me and Shirakumo had made a whole plan that morning, of how we were gonna make you and Shouta go for the end of year school prom together. We even planned to tell Shouta that Shirakumo didn't like you romantically anymore since he wasn't making a move on you."

Aizawa wiped his wet cheeks as he sat silently on the branch, listening to everything.

"Even today, Shouta thinks that you and Shirakumo liked each other, well, not anymore since you just confessed to him, but...he wouldn't do anything, even if he still had feelings for you, because he didn't know the truth. He still feels guilty for liking you. Getting you both together was the only thing Shirakumo wanted that morning and then later, he died and you left the school shortly after that. Me and Shouta never even got to say goodbye."

You let in a shaky breath. "(Name), you leaving made Shouta confirm your feelings towards Shirakumo, and I'm not really sure whether Shouta still likes you or not, since he never once talked about you all these years, but I think it's time for me to tell him-" Hizashi's speech halted as he rested his head back on the tree, only to stare right into Aizawa's teary gaze from in the tree.

Hizashi sighed as he smiled sadly at Shouta who just bit his lower lip and closed his eyes. Hizashi turned to you. "I wish..." you said, tears still falling from your widened eyes, "I wish I hadn't taken a leave then. I-I could have saved him."

"It's okay, (Name)," Hizashi said, "You couldn't have, it just happened, it okay."

"I-If I wasn't sulking so much over my father's death and would've just gone to attend my work studies that day, I could have saved him!" you croaked out loud, shaking miserably. Hizashi pulled you into his arms and craddled you, his face bearing a shocked expression.

"What!? W-Why didn't you ever tell us?" he asked. "Why didn't you ever tell us about him dying. It's not your fault, (Name), it's not, trust me. I-Is that why you left?"

You nodded while sobbing into Hizashi's shoulder. "M-My mother had can-cer." you croaked out, "Sh-She needed to be taken to A-America and dad had died and..."

"It's okay." Hizashi said, "No worries, it's all okay. Everything's fine now. You're mom's okay...r-right?"

"She died a month ago." you croaked. Hizashi hugged you harder, glancing up at Aizawa who was hardly visible in the now spreading darkness.

"Let's go back in, it's cold here. We'll talk about it later, okay. You're back, I'm here, everything will be fine, I promise."

___________________________________________________________

There's a part two which was really fun to write.

Check that out too :)

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engenuity · 3 years

Text

en- when their s/o feels insecure about other girls

note: Hello! I’m here with a request and it will be my first time doing something like this for the seven of them. To the anon who requested, sorry for doing this late but I hope you’ll enjoy it!

request: their reaction with their s/o saying “i wish i was beautiful like other girls.”

pairings: enhypen members x fem reader

words: 1602 words

፧ lee heeseung

→ you were simply sitting on your desk during a short break, being surrounded by some of your girl friends, when you gave that comment

→ your friends simply snickered at you, accepting it as a joke (well, half of it is)

→ but when you looked at where your boyfriend sits, he’s frowning at you

→ unlike some of your friends, heeseung is deeply aware of your insecurities

→ so you sent a bright smile on his way hoping that he will not be more bothered and burdened than necessary

→ come lunch and when he took the seat next to you, he quickly also brought up his favorite ramen, but this time, he gave it to you

→ which, happens close to never, because come on, heeseung and his ramen? literally inseparable

→ but you know he’s sacrificing his ramen to offer you comfort and you fall for him deeper if that’s even possible at this point

→ he ended up being too affectionate to you (acting as if he’ll eat the noodles you scooped therefore having his face only inches from you, teasingly pinching your nose until you swat his hand away, and after you ate your meal you ended up half cuddling him with you leaning against him and his arms around you)

→ you’ll end up forgetting the insecure thoughts made before, because now you have heeseung affectionately saying through his words that you deserve what you have and that he’s here for you, and no matter how little you think of yourself he’s here to help you appreciate your own self even more.

፧ jay park

→ you were hanging out in his dorms when you said it (you saw some of your school mates posting their pictures and you can’t help but feel green)

→ he starts up snorting saying “no one’s made ugly anyways”

→ the dork that you are ended up saying “well, how are you ugly?”

→ but both of you know that it’s a lie and out of all the people in the world how can jay and ugly be in the same sentence

→ he tackled you and the both of you ended up in a tangle in the couch

→ but then he started playing with your hair and softly, he said, “you’re beautiful.”

→ you’ve never been a crier but hearing those words uttered with most care, you can’t help but tear up a bit.

→ although he acted nonchalant, he will never forget it and he vowed to help you build up more confidence

→ if before, his way of affection is through teasing, now he’ll still tease you but compliments became very common too

→ “you look great in that fit” ; “how did you make your hair look like that? it’s amazing” ; “did you know about this hand cream? here, try it, i can buy it for you”

→ with your permission, he started posting pictures of your dates or just pictures of you, and you always fall a sleep with a smile after reading the cheesy (but utterly romantic) captions he always have posted with the lot.

፧ park sunghoon

→ you stood there in front of an advertising screen and you uttered those words not knowing that your boyfriend can hear you (well you thought he was still in the cashier paying for the things he bought)

→ he never said anything, so you remain clueless whether he heard you or not

→ your mall date continued as usual, after watching a movie the both of you just stroll around the mall, both coped up with each other.

→ but this time, uncharacteristically, he asked you to join him in skating (you usually just sit in the sidelines after falling in your butt far too many times)

→ of course, you’re skeptical because, come on, you already made so many embarrassing moments in front of sunghoon, but when he looked at you with that pleading face all reservations were easily swept away

→ this time though, he didn’t teach you how to properly glide or skate or even walk with the blades, instead he never took his hands and eyes off you as he glided, confidently maneuvering you with him.

→ you feel as if you’re dancing on ice with him, which you probably actually are

→ you find yourself laughing in exhilaration when he effortlessly threw you into a spin and you came back facing him.

→ there in the ice rink, with your face inches away from him— blushing and obviously elated from happiness, sunghoon silently promised that he will make you see how beautiful you really are.

→ although on the ice, dancing with you in his arms, you already felt so so beautiful.

፧ jake sim

→ no matter how hard he tries he literally wears his emotions on his sleeve

→ so when you half-jokingly opened up about this insecurity, he looked so hurt on your behalf

→ he thinks it’s unfair that you view yourself too little when he’s willing to give you the world

→ will turn into some deep conversations

→ “why would you think that?”

→ will listen very closely and at first you wanted to brush it as a joke but when you saw how he’s suddenly very serious and attentive you ended up opening the can of worms aka some of your insecurities about your looks

→ you’ll find yourself leaning your head on his shoulder tearing up a bit, his arms either on your shoulder or softly caressing your head

→ then after the whole opening-up thing, he’ll tell you that you’re beautiful, one-of-a-kind, overall amazing person

→ and that he’ll stay by your side as long as you let him and he’ll make you believe that you’re so much more than what you think

→ he also sent a silent prayer pleading that you’ll be allowed to be comfortable and happy with what you have.

፧ kim sunoo

→ well, before he became your boyfriend, he’s your best friend first

→ so he is already practically aware of most of your demons

→ when you off-handedly made the comment, he won’t hesitate to snuggle you in his arms and kiss you on the cheek

→ “what are you saying you silly, you’re already so, so beautiful”

→ you’ll end up snickering at him / pouting

→ then this time, he’ll quickly kiss you on the lips

→ “you’re beautiful, you have no choice but to believe me, seriously.”

→ you’ll end up laughing at him, and although some doubts remained in your mind, you can’t help but appreciate your boyfriend.

→ because of course, who even doubts kim sunoo?

፧ yang jungwon

→ like in the heeseung situation, you were just fooling around with your friends when jungwon heard you joke about it

→ will not waste a second to butt in the conversation suddenly to say “what do you mean, you’re very pretty”

→ your friends will not waste a second to let out very loud shrieks

→ but it will not end there because when the both of you are walking home he’ll casually say— “but actually, pretty might only appear to be about outside appearance while the word beautiful encompasses all aspects, no? but what i meant was that you’re beautiful and you’re enough.”

→ you’ll be super shy because of that but he’ll just giggle and swing your holding hands playfully

→ you decided to add a prompt kiss before you separate ways

→ so now it’s his time to be shy

፧ nishimura ri-ki

→ the both of you were camping on a café doing your own requirements

→ this counts as a date for the both of you, because well what’s important is that you’re together and this time, you just simply decided to be productive students

→ you found yourself having a short break and while browsing in instagram, you off-handedly made the comment

→ the guy in front of you will not make any comments about it, and it’s honestly fine because you didn’t even notice the words that passed through your lips

→ imagine your shock when you came back on doing your paper and your mail was bombarded with lots of memes with hearts in them

→ there were also some pictures of jay and heeseung of all people with humorous captions

→ at first it was funny but then you can’t continue doing your homework so you told ni-ki to stop sending random things at your mail

→ the guy working in his own laptop didn’t reply, instead you just got another email

→ ‘—you are beautiful! claim it or this meme dealer will not stop’

→ “seriously!?” ( you exclaimed, hoping for a non-virtual response but you got nothing)

→ you thought more mails will come containing memes and you’re feeling mixed emotions of both fondness and irritation

→ but this one was not a meme, but rather a latest picture of your boyfriend drinking in his straw and pouting, with a meme-layout caption of ‘the woman reading this is my girlfriend and she is beATIFUL periodt periodism dot . ‘

→ now you just ended up laughing at his antics, and fully appreciating the efforts of your meme-dealer boyfriend

→ “fine, okay, okay. i admit i’m beautiful”

→ as a response, ni-ki gave you a proud smile and a thumbs up

→ the both of you continued doing your papers and it was such a productive, self- assuring, fun date with him.

→ then later on at night you’ll call him — “ya! you can only send that last meme to me got it?!” which he’ll respond with a laugh then a deadpan “duh.”

#enhypenwriters #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons #enhypen fanfiction #eunice writes #heeseung enhypen #jay enhypen #jake enhypen #jungwon enhypen #sunoo enhypen #niki enhypen #sunghoon enhypen #enhypen scenarios

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duckugou · 3 years

Text

golden

Kenma x GN!reader

Im trying to stray away from my comfort zone of just writing readers that use she/her so bear with me

sorry if this lowkey sucks but it was inspired by harry styles song golden

cw: big cursing, huge fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, aged up!

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!

Requests are open!!

-------------------------------------

Being a streamer comes with perks. Being comfy at home, not having to face people in real life every day, playing games, typical shit. Another perk is making good friends.

Meeting people on a voice chat is common for Kenma -guys and gals alike. What he wasnt expecting one night was the sweetest voice on the other end of his headphones.

"You're all fucks- I'm better at this game than all of you combined. Try me."

To think that was the sentence that made Kenma's ears perk up and burn.

"What the hell ever- we have the great Kodzuken on our side." One of the guys said, half joking half dead serious.

"Oh yeah, he isn't even speaking up to defend your pussy asses- probably knows I could beat him too." You could hear the smirk in that last part.

"U-uh, no. You can't beat me. Nobody can actually. Not at this game." Kenma rebutted , confident in his gaming skills but not so much his speaking skills to this stranger.

"Oh man, you certainly sound confident. Come on, Kodzuken- 1v1 me then. Show me who the best really is."

Kenma suddenly felt nervous. Should he really demolish this stranger? Isn't it polite to let the person you like win? He didn't like this person yet but god their voice was attractive.

"Fine. Send the request." He decided.

"Sent, fucker."

The game resulted in a tie because this stranger actually knew what they were doing. They both threw friendly insults at each other the whole time of course, making each of them laugh a little.

"Okay fine. The great Kodzuken himself almost beat me. Im almost honored to have a great streamer almost beat me."

"Well you almost beat me too- uh-" Kenma stuttered over the fact that he didn't know how to address this stranger.

"Oh! Call me Y/n." The person giggled.

"You can uh, call me Kenma."

"Oh you don't want me to repeat your title over and over like everyone else?" They laughed.

"No, friends don't call me that. They use my name name." His ears were burning.

"Friends, huh? Guess that means you owe me your number so we can schedule a rematch where I can properly beat your ass."

"Huh, guess so."

A few months had gone by and Y/n and Kenma were as close as they could be. They found out they live close by each other and began hanging out a lot.

Y/n would be in the back of his streams on occasion and wouldn't hesitate to speak up during them. Thats the thing about Y/n. They've always been so outspoken. Since the start. Everything they talk about comes so easy to Y/n. Nothing is held back. Kenma knows everything about them. He on the other hand is still a bit closed off. Quiet. The two are so opposite yet so alike. Kenma doesn't speak much about himself, opting to listen.

Especially when talking about past relationships.

One night, they were sat in Kenmas room in separate chairs, letting conversations flow.

"So, you've dated but why have the relationships ended?" Y/n asked.

"Ah, I dont know- its not important. Why did yours end?" Kenma flipped the question as he always does.

"One guy cheated," Y/n tossed a piece of popcorn in the air, missing their mouth and brushing it off. "One girl left because she was leaving for school, and one guy just didn't mesh with me. Your turn." Y/n pushed the question back.

"Uh- well. I don't click with people easily. I'm pretty closed off so when I date it usually ends in hurt feelings by accident or they get sick of me." Kenma finally admitted.

"Huh." Y/n flopped onto their stomach on the bed after setting down the popcorn. "Don't you like anyone though? Like- if you liked someone enough, do you think you would give opening up a shot?"

"I mean I guess. Nobody ever takes the time to...pry me open." That got a laugh out of Y/n. Good. "But yeah I do like someone."

Sitting up suddenly, Y/n became visibly excited.

"TELL ME WHO."

"No god no- it isnt important." Kenmas ears burned again.

"Come onnnnn. Its gotta be someone big time cool to earn your heart. I have to approve."

Y/n pulled Kenma from his chair to the bed, not letting go of his hand as he sat down.

"Theyre very cool- and very sweet. Understanding. Someone who stands up for me and makes me comfortable-" Kenma began gushing.

"Do I know them?" Y/n interrupted.

"Y-yeah. You sure do." Kenma scratched the back of his neck.

"Oooh ok, a guessing game. Describe them more- their looks!" Y/n held his hand tighter, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Well- ok." Kenma took a deep breath and decided he could be vague enough. "Theyre short. As short if not shorter than me. Competitive. Very cute smile-"

"TOO VAGUE give me the JUICY DETAILS" Y/n pushed.

"They uh- they have..pretty eyes." He was staring at this point, eyes wandering around Y/ns face to find more things to describe. "cute nose too I guess. Squishy cheeks. Glasse-"

"WHO THE HELL IS IT KENMA- its starting to sound like youre describing me." Y/n laughed.

"No- I'm totally not!" Kenma rushed.

"Tell this person you like them. You look so happy when you talk about them. Its kind of sickening."

"I can't just do that." Kenma stated flatly.

"Yeah you can."

"No-"

"DO ITTTT. Nothing to be scared of- it's CUTE. They would be dumb to not like you."

Kenma sighed, knowing he couldn't tell Y/n the truth about who he liked. What does he usually do when he's put in a corner like this? Oh thats right-

"Who do you like then Y/n?" He asked, proud of himself for deflecting again.

"Oh thats easy. You." Y/n said, letting go of his hand and laying back on the bed, leaving Kenma sitting up and stunned.

"What? No I mean a crush idiot. Who do you liiikkkeee?" Kenma pushed, hoping he didn't hear Y/n wrong.

"You, Kenma. I've had a crush since our first tie in a game. Thought that was obvious-"

Kenma flopped back on the bed as well. The both of them looking at each other.

"Oh. My person is uh... really... open and honest." Kenma said quietly.

"Is that why you wont tell them?" Y/n asked just as hushed.

"Yeah... what if right now they say yes but then their feelings change one day? That would hurt so bad. Worse than not telling them ever." He whispered.

There was silence. They knew what they both just admitted. Kenmas heart started racing. This might've fucked everything up. He might lose them. But they like him too so why is he so scared?

Y/n held his hand again.

"I know that youre scared because I'm so open...but hey... If you wanna give it a try..." Y/n whispered, scared about whether or not their honesty fucked them over.

"You might be right this time Y/n." Kenma whispered.

The space between them was closed due to both of them being drawn together like magnets in that moment. A sweet kiss.

"Let's try it then. I'll work on... being more open if you'd like." Kenma said.

"Kenma. I dont want you to change one bit. I like you the way you are."

Acceptance. It was the best thing Kenma has ever felt.

#kenma #kenma fic #kenma fluff #kenma gamer #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader #kenma x reader #haikyuu fluff #harry styles golden lyric AHHHH

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sunlight-moonrise · 3 years

Text

The Law of Attraction (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Reader cannot understand how Spencer is in a relationship with someone who is his complete opposite.

A/N: Hello Everyone!!! Here’s another story from the secret-fic-swap in the Discord server. I tried my hand at a new genre and I like how it came out. A big thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins for helping me make this real nice for y’all (this story was also written to her). Enjoy!

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Content Warnings: If you’re a fan of Max or Maxcer, this may not be the story for you. Sacrifices needed to be made for this story to be told.

Word Count: 4.2K

Masterlist

The thought that the concept of ‘opposites attract’ was only true when it comes to physics. After all, the comparison of people to magnets doesn’t make any sense. If two people are together, there should be some similarities to build an established relationship, right? Without that foundation, the structure will surely crumble back into the fragmented pieces that created it, leaving them cracked and weaker for it.

Compatibility is necessary, yet there is none whenever I look at them. This is the fourth function that he has brought her to, and with each event, I find it harder to look their way. But when I do find them among the crowd, I can’t look away. Like a car crash or thunderstorm ripping tree roots from the ground.

It doesn’t make sense to me, why on earth would Spencer Reid be with a girl like her.

“If you keep staring at her, she might drop dead,” said a sarcastic voice, breaking me out of my reverie. I turned to see Tara with an amused smile occupying her face.

“I just don’t get it,” I mumbled, focusing my attention on the drink in my hand.

“What’s not to get?” she asked, glancing over at the couple in question. “They seem cute together.”

“They have nothing in common. He might as well be talking to some random person in this bar.”

I chugged the remainder of my beverage with desperate hope that the alcohol will somehow make things better in this situation. It didn’t.

“You sound bitter.”

“I am not bitter,” I bit back.

“I didn’t say you were, I said you sound.”

I didn’t respond to her because deep down I knew she was right. I just fiddled with the straw in my now empty glass as Tara continued, “Look, they both like coffee and going to the park, that’s something.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my throat at the thought.

“So do half the people on the administration floor, he might as well have a harem if those are the main qualifications.”

“So what type of person should Spencer Reid have?” she asked, an eyebrow arching up as she focused her attention on me.

“I don’t know. Someone who is family-oriented and loves kids. Someone who doesn’t judge him for his idiosyncrasies. Someone who listens to his rambles and actually responds to them. Someone who he can escape to when things get too tough. Someone who understands when to give him space but will continue to support him unconditionally. Someone who can challenge him and make each day exciting and interesting. Someone who can ke—”

“Whoa there, I didn’t think you were going to give me a whole novel.” If she thought that was a novel, then the rest of what I wanted to say would be considered an encyclopedia. The only one that Spencer would never read.

“I just want him to be happy,” I relented.

It was the simple truth. Everyone deserves some sort of contentment in their life, but with everything that Spencer has gone through in the past, his happiness should be at the forefront. He always put others before himself. It was time that someone prioritizes his wants and needs for a change.

“And she doesn’t make him happy?”

Not in the slightest.

But I didn’t want to say that. I was sure half of the team already thought, or knew, that I was infatuated with him. But I didn’t need to give them the satisfaction of a confirmation by talking about this any further. The looks that Tara had been giving me the past few minutes validated my belief that I didn’t need to dig myself into a deeper hole.

“Maybe,” I said, hoping to put an end to the topic.

But just then, I heard a laugh despite how noisy the place was. I knew without a doubt that was Spencer’s laugh – it was the only sound that would demand my attention that quickly. It was the one he used when he felt uncomfortable.

“Excuse me, Tara.”

I didn’t give her a chance to reply before I hopped off the barstool and made my way to where Spencer and his girl were as casually as possible. Jennifer and Penelope were also with them, and it seems as if the three ladies were doing most of the talking.

“….like kids someday?” I heard Pen say. I didn’t need to hear the beginning of the sentence to know what it was about.

“Ehh, certainly not. My nephew is a handful as is, I don’t think I need any more than that one in my life,” she laughed. She, of course, being the ever loving, ever annoying, Max. A quick glance at Spencer's face confirmed that he was bothered by the subject being discussed. If the rest of the ladies were a bit more sober, they’d probably have seen it too.

“Hey guys,” I interrupted, taking my previous seat next to JJ, “I ordered some water for us and some appetizers. Tara is going to bring it over when it is ready.”

Cheers and thank you were shouted across the small table, but there was only one face I cared to pay attention to. Spencer’s mouth was quirked in a sad smile that was meant to hide the discomfort that had already taken root in his heart like an invasive vine.

“Did you place my fries order?” Max asked, garnering my attention. As much as I wanted to ignore her, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t openly be a bitch to her, no matter how much she irked me. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Other than stealing the affections of a man I’d never actually pursued, that is. But I couldn’t really blame her for that one, right? I should’ve jumped on the opportunity before. It was my fault.

“Yup,” I answered quickly with a small fake smile before focusing on the wooden décor of the bar.

“So any plans for Halloween? Assuming we don’t get called in for a case of course,” JJ asked the table.

“There is this pop-up haunted house coming that weekend.” Spencer said, his voice laced with that childlike excitement that made my heart race, “It is near the annual fair, so I’m going to try and do both.”

“Awww, that’s a cute date idea.”

The table was silent for a moment before Max announced, “I probably won’t go. I am not a big fan of anything spooky or… horror. I’ll leave all of that to this guy.”

The table shared an awkward laugh in a poor attempt to lighten the mood.

“Anyway,” I coughed out, attempting to save this poor conversation, “you guys need to hear this terrible joke the bartender told me. So basically, this screwdriver walks into a bar….” and just like that, the topic had been changed.

Tara joined us shortly after and the conversation remained lighthearted for the remainder of the evening. We later said our farewells and readied ourselves to go back home. While I should’ve been sad to leave him, I couldn’t help but feel a bitter joy from the fact that Spencer and Max didn’t talk directly to each other for the rest of the night.

●●●

It’s been a couple of weeks since the last team outing. Rossi must’ve missed us, because he decided to host a dinner at his place to celebrate the ending of a long and tough case. No one was going to pass up the opportunity of free food and wine, especially after dealing with a bunch of cops and detectives with entire tree trunks up their asses.

I was the last to arrive, which was not surprising since I live the furthest away from Rossi. Krystall welcomed and settled me in while informing me where everyone was. What I assumed was a team gathering turned out to be a whole party. There were definitely more than two dozen people occupying the space.

Good god.

“What’s all this?” I asked as I greeted Rossi in the, thankfully, empty kitchen. Because, of course, Rossi wouldn’t be Rossi if he didn’t take care of all the hors d'oeuvres himself.

“Krystall wanted to celebrate our anniversary,” he sighed, as if this ordeal was somehow troublesome. I had to roll my eyes; he wasn’t fooling anyone. We all knew that Rossi would move mountains for his wife.

Their love was pure and genuine, a perfect example of two people meeting again at the right time and sharing something wonderful with one another. As I reminisced on their beautiful wedding day, a thought came to my head.

“Isn’t your first anniversary coming up in a few months?”

“That’s for our second marriage, this is for the first.” Rossi simply stated with a proud smirk, as if it was standard to celebrate any and all anniversaries in life. I supposed that for him, it was.

“Why do I get the feeling that this was more your idea than Krystall’s?”

“Guilty.”

Classic. Well, I wasn’t going to tell a man what he should celebrate nor how to do so. I wasn’t going to ruin any opportunities to eat some fresh crostini.

Once I made my way back out into the main room, I was able to find my team within seconds. My eyes instantly landed on Spencer’s tall and lanky form. And I would’ve been excited for that, if it weren’t for the familiar woman standing beside him.

Max was there. Hooray.

Usually, I was able to properly prepare myself for seeing her. It actually, unfortunately, took a lot of effort to not be openly hostile to someone I dislike. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but it was true. Typically in a situation like this, I’d avoid the person all night. However, I wasn’t going to allow her presence to influence the night, much less stop me from spending time with one of my closest friends.

“Hey guys.”

“Ahh, you’re finally here,” squealed Penelope, “I already grabbed your favorite drink!” She stepped aside to make room for me in the small gathered circle before handing me the glass.

“So what did I miss?”

They all caught me up on the harmless gossip circulating around the office and the new happenings emerging in everyone’s lives. Everything was going well until I heard the next words from Max, words that felt like a bucket of ice water and lead being poured over my head.

“Well, Spencer and I are moving in together.”

Time slowed down, I was sure it had. Because I was able to gauge everything in a matter of seconds. Tara’s concerning glance my way, her hand reaching out and retreating as if to hold me. Penelope’s joyful appearance over the news, her arms rising quickly causing her wine to slightly spill on Rossi’s floor. Matt expressing congratulations as he roughly patted Spencer on the back.

And Spencer….

Spencer looked like he rather be anywhere but here. His lips were drawn in a too tight smile that I knew was far from authentic. He was tapping his heel against the floor and wringing his hands together.

If this was merry news from the two of them, why did he look like he swallowed a spiked fruit?

The loud clanging of metal against glass brought everyone’s attention to the noisy source. Time returned back to its normal pace at Rossi’s call, thanking everyone for joining in on the celebration and announcing that the food was ready in the dining room.

While everyone cheered and made their way towards the ornate display, I headed to the balcony. It was too hot, too stuffy, too loud inside the house. There was one too many people there.

As soon as I passed through the double doors, I took a deep breath of cool, refreshing air. Everything around me felt muffled. Like I had stumbled into a small pocket universe that only differed from ours by a few notches on the volume knob.

I was thinking too many things, and none of them adding up or making sense in my head. How do you move in with someone you’ve only known for such a short amount of time? What was he going to do with his apartment? With his personal belongings that were scattered and settled on crowded shelves? Why did he look so uncomfortable when she announced it? Did he not want us to know? Did he want to say it himself?

“What are you doing out here?”

As if being brought back to reality by the very same hypnotist who enchanted me in the first place, I became aware that I was not the only one on the balcony. I turned to look at Spencer, taking in his disheveled and tired appearance.

“I just needed some space. I was feeling a bit crowded.” It wasn’t a lie, but my companion and I both knew there was a lot more than just that. Trying to keep the attention off me, I asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you. I saw you come out here dressed like that and wondered what would drag you out into the freezing cold.”

Now that he mentioned it, the breeze was hitting hard. I didn’t notice my body trembling until now. It is funny how you can’t feel much when lost in your own thoughts. The pain was a welcome distraction, I supposed.

Spencer stood next to me and shrugged off the suit jacket he was wearing. I opened my mouth to refuse, but he gave me a pointed look before I could. Instead, I accepted the warm jacket over my body. The scent of cinnamon and spice immediately enveloped my form and I tried to hide the way my inhales grew deeper. Trying to keep him as close as I could for however long he would allow. He kept his hands on my arms, rubbing them up and down the sleeves of the jacket to instill some heat in me.

“So whatever happened to taking it slow?” I asked bluntly, keeping my eyes on the interesting speck of dirt that had ended up on my shoe. I didn’t feel bad about getting to the point -- There was no way I could subtly ask him what the deal was, and I’d rather not beat around the bush.

“Well, after the whole situation that happened, sh— we decided to pick up the pace of things,” he spoke lowly, as if he was unsure of the words coming out of his mouth.

“Has she even met Diana? Or know about her?” I instantly regretted asking, the angry look he shot my way had me feeling remorseful. But it also answered my question.

Max only knew the surface level of Spencer. She wasn’t aware of all the good, bad, beautiful, and ugly layers that comes with a man like him. She wasn’t the only one to blame, but I wondered how a profiler couldn’t tell that he was hiding those parts from her because he didn’t want to share them with her. He didn’t want her to know, because the knowing made it real.

“I just want the best for you.”

His irritated expression dissolved into a defeated one as he released the breath he was holding.

“I know, I know. It’s just…”

He stopped talking, appearing scared to share his opinions and feelings with me before he remembered that, unlike Max, he never had to hide things from me. He didn’t want to.

“It’s just…” I prodded, hoping he would continue with what he was going to say.

But he just stayed stuck there, opening and closing his mouth multiple times. I could practically see the cogs in his brain whirling as he properly tried to explain. “Well, the thing is that Ma—”

“Spencer?”

We sharply turned our heads to see Max and Tara staring at us. It wasn’t until that moment that I remembered our position. With Spencer’s hands rubbing tenderness heat onto my arms, his jacket over my shoulders and our bodies pressed together to keep warm.

It would be one thing if everything was settled, but this situation was anything but. Max had every reason to be angry. This wasn’t a new thing to her. So when she turned around, she stomped away fueled by the belief that she’d nearly caught her boyfriend committing adultery. Again.

“Fuck,” I heard the man in front of me whisper as he released me back into the cold night.

Still, as he left, he looked back at me. His eyes burned into mine up until he tore them away, making his final decision and hastily running from the balcony. Away from me. Towards her.

Tara and I shared the silence, but she looked at me with those inquisitive eyes, as if I was a client seeking out therapy from her.

“What?” I hissed, “We were just talking.” I refused to feel guilty over something that I didn’t do. If anyone had done anything, it was Spencer. But at the same time, I didn’t think he was entirely wrong, either.

“I didn’t say anything,” she muttered, holding her hands up high as a sign of surrender.

“You didn’t have to, I can feel the judgment from here.”

“Look, I’m not judging you. But I do want you to put yourself in Max’s shoes. You guys were gone for a while and she finds you two all over each other.”

“What are you talking about, Tara? Christ, it’s not like I was fucking him on the balcony!”

Although I didn’t intend for my words to be humorous, Tara laughed. I was conflicted on whether it was at me or with me, but it ended up amounting to nothing, anyway.

“Look, the night is young and you need to relax. Come back inside, enjoy the party, and don’t let them bring you down. At least for the next few hours.”

She was right, as she usually was. It was why I usually sought her out as the voice of reason; I knew that despite everything, she would always have my best interest at heart.

“Okay,” I agreed before following her back into the chaotic fray.

I heeded her advice and avoided the couple for the remainder of the night. Shockingly, it was pretty easy, but I was sure it was because they were avoiding me too. There were times, lots of times, where Spencer and I made eye contact, but we’d just as quickly look away, as if we were ashamed of what we have done.

All we did was talk. So why did it feel like something more?

There were also times when I made eye contact with Max, but instead of shame, there was anger and contempt. If looks could kill, like Tara had suggested, I was sure my heart would have given out.

It wasn’t until later in the evening that I saw Max take a cab home while Spencer was still inside the house. No one else but me noticed that they didn’t leave the party together.

●●●

I hadn’t seen Spencer since the incident at Rossi’s a few weeks ago. He had to take his mandatory sabbatical leave and I had to take an abrupt trip back home. What used to be almost daily texts between us became nonexistent in a matter of hours. It was a terrible predicament that I was hoping to fix soon.

As I arrived, I spotted him at his desk. For a long time, I stood there staring at him. If he wasn’t nose deep in a bunch of files, I was sure he would’ve seen me, too. I contemplated on how I should go up to him, but nothing I could think of was good enough to say.

Hey, I have your jacket, I took it to the dry cleaner’s, so it is all clean. Rid of me like you wanted to be.

Hi, how were the lectures this time around? Still have a bunch of teens crushing on you?

What’s up, it’s been a while, do you want to get lunch during the break?

I hated that things were awkward, even though I was pretty sure that I was the only one that was making it so. I should have just gone up to him, greeted him, and acted like everything was normal, because everything was normal. Right?

Just when I was about to do so, Emily called us in for a meeting. Impeccable timing.

We had a serial killer case in Louisville, Kentucky. My situation with Spencer was going to the backburner.

During our stay in Louisville, Spencer and I barely interacted. We exchanged notes and passed long messages, but that’s pretty much it. I wasn’t surprised. Our specialties don’t really correlate when we are working on a case. Anytime I did catch some free time, I’d look his way, longing for the opportunity to speak to him. He didn’t look back.

Then, just as the case ended, another chance presented itself. After five days of hardly any proper rest, we finally found the unsub. Everyone was in their respective room catching up on some much needed sleep. Except for Spencer, whose gangly body was tucked away at the bar by himself, a glass of what appeared to be soda in front of him.

Silently, I took the seat next to him, and for a few minutes, everything was quiet. But unlike the usual, comfortable quiet, it was torturous.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I stared at him, letting the silent communication denote the fact that I knew he was lying to me. Spencer released a sigh and looked at me with eyes more intoxicating than any whiskey that shared their color.

“Actually, no, I’m not okay.”

I was going to ask him what was wrong or if there was anything I could do to help, but before I had the chance to do so, he hastily answered the question I hadn’t asked.

“Max and I broke up.”

I stared at him, my face and mind blank as I tried to comprehend what he’d said. That Max and Spencer broke up. They were no longer together. Spencer was single.

I thought that if this ever happened, I would be happy, elated, jumping at the chance to take her place by his side. But I felt none of those things.

“What happened?” I didn’t want to appear nosy or meddlesome, but I needed to know.

“We were fighting a lot, and I couldn’t take it.”

“Oh.”

“We were… actually fighting about you.”

I sharply turned my head at him, both intrigued and disturbed by the implication that I had anything to do with the failure of their relationship.

“What? What about me?”

“She thought I liked you,” he said while staring straight back at me, daring me to scan through each fleck of gold and green to ensure that he was telling the truth. But his hazel eyes expressed nothing but honesty as he continued, “and she was right. I do.”

“Y-you do?”

All he could do was nod his head, lifting his hand and catching a loose strand of hair before tucking it behind my ear.

“Can I try something?” Spencer shyly requested.

Once again, the universe felt different. I held my breath, trying to wake from the dream. Although he didn’t say it, I had an idea of what he wanted. If the hand on the side of my face and the staring at my lips were anything to go by, I knew what was going to happen next.

I nodded back and closed my eyes. A few seconds passed, the sweetest kind of anticipation. But then I felt the gentle pressure of his lips against my own, sweet and tender. He moved his head to get a better angle while I brought my hands up to cup his face. The roughness of his stubble against the tip of my fingers was a perfect contrast to the softness of him. I could taste the soda he was drinking on his tongue and breathed in the cinnamon scent that seemed sunken into his skin.

When we pulled away, it was full of hesitation. All it took was one look for us to know we couldn’t do this. Not now, not yet. He was still healing from the recent break up and I didn’t want to be a rebound. I didn’t want us to resent one another for jumping into a relationship so soon. We weren’t ready.

We sat there in relative silence, taking in everything that has happened.

“Maybe one day,” he paused “one day we can give it a chance.”

“Yes. I’d like that.” I beamed at him, “And I look forward to that day. Until then, we remain as friends.”

He returned my smile and I realized that it had been a while since I’ve seen his real smile. I missed it so much.

“Friends,” he confirmed.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt relief and comfort. Because I knew everything was going to be okay. I had hope that someday Spencer will get the happily ever after he deserves and he’ll get it with me by his side. One day.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid reader insert #reader insert #hurt/comfort #secret fic swap

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yaqarah · 3 years

Text

Before You Write a Jewish Character

Jewish people already lack rep in many pieces of media, including writing. A lot of people seem to think that mentioning a character who celebrates Hanukkah is peak representation. Which just isn’t true. So I figured if I want to see more good rep and most people are too lazy to just use Google to inform themselves, I decided to make this post.

1. Names

Most Jewish people actually have two names. They’ll have their first name, and possibly middle name, that can be either a Jewish name or a name coming from the country or language they grew up speaking. It doesn’t have to be a Jewish name or it can be a name that comes from another culture, so long as it not associated with another religion (i.e. Evangeline, John, Mohammed, Soraya, etc). Jewish people also do not name their kids after any living relatives, so children will not have the names of their parents or grandparents or aunts.

Secondly, they have their Hebrew name, which may or may not be different from the one they normally use. There’s normally a whole ceremony for this naming, but that is another thing. These names are normally of Hebrew and/or Jewish origin. And they are written on the naming certificate in the Hebrew alphabet rather than any other one. Since the Hebrew alphabet is quite different from a lot of other ones, please be mindful of transliterations when picking these names, as Hebrew has a few sounds and letters that other languages may not have.

WHEN YOU SEE CH IN A TRANSLITERATION IT IS NOT PRONOUNCED WITH A SH OR WITH A K. LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY PRONOUNCE THE SOUND.

As for last names, Jewish people do have their own last names, though if people are descended from immigrants to certain places, those last names may or may not be changed. However, even with that, Jewish people still have last names that are different from the other people in the country their family is from. A lot of Ashkenazi Jewish last names tend to have the suffixes -stein, -man/men, -berg/burg, -in, -witz, -ski/sky, and/or the prefixes green-, gold-, silver-. Other common Jewish last names are Cohen, Kanter/Cantor, Glaser, Glass. Here is more comprehensive list of Jewish surnames from around the world

2. Ethnicity

While people do say that they are Jewish when asked their ethnicity (it is an ethnicity btw, not just a religion), keep in mind that Jewish culture will vary depending on where their family was in the diaspora. The most well-known ethnicities within Judaism are Ashkenazi (Eastern Europe), Sephardi (Iberia, North Africa), and Mizrahi (Middle East). Keep in mind, however, that there are plenty of Jewish people that come from different places, like Kavkazi Jews (Caucasus Region), Bukharan Jews (Central Asia), Cochin Jews (Kerala), and Beta Israel (Ethiopia). So please be sure to pick a specific area where the family of your Jewish character will be some, as this greatly affects foods, traditions, names, etc., as well as their appearance. Keep in mind that where someone’s family is from or where they live has had great influence on the Jewish culture there.

3. Appearance

There is such a thing as “looking Jewish”, but that doesn’t mean that every Jewish person looks the same, especially if their families come from different areas of the world. A Jewish person can look any way, and still they are Jewish. Whether or not your character looks a certain way does not affect how Jewish they are. That being said, it is okay to write a Jewish character with traditionally Jewish features, as long as you are careful of how you describe it. Don’t say they have a green tinge to their skin: say their skin is olive or tan; don’t compare them to goblins and please don’t say their eyes or half-lidded. Don’t make it part of their personality that they want to change the parts of their appearance that are traditionally Jewish (i.e. wanting a nose job, straightening their hair). Our features are demonised enough as is, and we don’t want hating them to be seen as more common than it already is.

Also, if we look traditionally Jewish, we do sometimes get confused with people of other ethnicities. So if you’re looking for a fc for your Jewish character and can’t find a Jewish model you like, at least be somewhat respectful and find someone who’s Italian.

4. Traditions and Daily Life

This one is so so important. You can’t just say they celebrate Hanukkah and call it a day. Hanukkah isn’t even the most important Jewish holiday (though you can and should include it because its fun). Include traditional aspects of growing up Jewish. Have them talk about going to Jewish overnight camp. Have them know the Hebrew alphabet and reading a little bit of Hebrew they know from going to Hebrew school. Put an evil eye in your character’s room. Have them keep kosher. Put a mezuzah on their bedroom door. Give them Star of David and Hamsa necklaces. Put a red ribbon around the gearshift of their car. Don’t give them tattoos, especially not on their arm. Have them cook Jewish food and own Jewish cookbooks. If they’re Ashki, have them casually throw Yiddish words into the middle of sentences. Have them miss school and work for high holidays services and eat apples and honey for Rosh Hashanah. Have them fast for Yom Kippur and eat matzah on Passover. Have them dress up for Purim and make Hamantaschen. Make sure they aren’t Jewish in name only!!

5. Stereotypes (and how not to use them)

Don’t have your character talk about lizard people. Don’t make both of their parents and their whole family bankers, doctors, and lawyer. Don’t make them money-hungry. Don’t make them snobby. And please please do not make them part of a secret society, especially if the society has a lot of power.

This also applies to villains. If your villain is like this, scrap them and come up with something original. You copying every Disney villain ever is both antisemitic and uncreative.

6. Antisemitism (and how to include it)

Unless you are Jewish and specifically writing something about antisemitism, it is not your place to determine what antisemitism is and isn’t (before you ask me any stupid questions, antizionism is not antisemitism). It is still very prevalent today and a lot of Jewish people deal with jokes, micro aggressions, and sometimes worse in everyday life. We get asked unsettling questions about where we are from, what “race” we are, and messy international politics we don’t have a say in all the time, and normally we don’t know how to respond. Have your character deal with these things, but do not make it their whole life. And if you plan to have anything worse happen, please do not do it just for the plot or the shock factor: get the message across that antisemitism still very much exists, and that it is scary and unacceptable.

Lastly, unless it is very very very important, please, for the love of god, do not bring up the Holocaust.

Additional Resources:

- Jewish Foods (Ashki,Sephardi)

- Jewish Holidays + Calendar

- Bar and Bat Mitzvahs

- Overnight Camp

- Symbols and Objects (Mezuzah,Hamsa,Evil Eye) (latter two also important through the Middle East and South Asia, as well as Southeastern Europe and North Africa)

Inbox is open for relevant questions. if its dumb use the internet

#important #resources #res:writing #res:characters #tw antisemitism #tw holocaust #please please sb #lilah.txt

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wreckofawriter · 4 years

Text

Attention

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Swearing, sexual jokes

Request: @souhmhey Hello! I really like your blaise au and was wondering if you could do a hogwarts ver of 97 with bill weasley/cedric diggory since your requests is open. The reader is a slytherin btw. Thank you and take care!

#97: You are famous and we keep bumping into eachother so the media thinks we're dating

A/n: sorry for inactivity, I have no concept of time. This is a tiny bit off the prompt but oh well. (There is so much dialogue in this fic, I'm sorry.)

You hated attention. You had hated it since the second you had been birthed into the world. The world which robbed you of your privacy. The world which had dug its grimy hands into your life and tugged and pulled until it looked pretty enough to be on display. A world which everyone claimed to wish for, to envy.

It made you sick.

You had no right to complain. You knew that you were privileged, your parents had more money than they could spend even if they tried, you had grown up in a mansion which simply could not be called a house. You had the tutors, the vacations, the clothes. You had it all, well all except privacy.

Your birth was on the front page of a dozen magazines, your face tacked onto newspapers before you could even read. You were so used to the flash of lights that you stopped registering them as strange.

When you left for some faraway school in the hills of Scottland you had assumed that all of that would go away. That you wouldn’t have to fake smiles anymore or refrain from making the smallest mistake for fear of ruining your parent’s reputation.

Your father’s status as a quidditch player kept you form that unattainable dream. Whenever he spoke of the sport he told it like some fantasy, something he had done so he could soar into the sky not bring it down onto his daughter.

You snapped your eyes shut the bright flash of light only worsening your headache. As the faint burn you were all too used to faded you gathered the image of the young boy in front of you. His mouth was dropped displaying two rows of crooked teeth, his brown eyes wide with amazement.

Your jaw tightened, “Do you need something?” the tone you used was clearly threatening, hoping to break him from the trance you had unintentionally put him under. The conformity of the boy’s features lead you to believe he was either deaf or stupid.

“Well?!” You snapped and it seemed to do the trick.

He blinked a few times, his open mouth giving way for a dopey grin, “You’re y/n y/l/n.”

You scoffed considering shoving the large camera he was holding down his throat, “I don’t know who you are talking about.”

“But-”

“Move before I move you myself.” You snarled and before the kid could answer you shoved him aside and continued for your class which you were now surly to be late for. Vector wouldn’t be happy.

You entered the room already spewing apologies you should have to give.

The teacher cut you off with a pointed look and you snapped your mouth shut. There were a couple snickers from the class and your head hammered on the front of your skull.

“You have been late almost every day this week Ms. y/l/n. Is this going to continue all year or should I cut you from my class now?” Her glare was stiff.

You tried to swallow your mouth suddenly feeling too dry, “I’m very sorry professor it’s just I have to come all the way from potions, and getting through the halls can be difficult.”

Her eyebrows raised, “I don’t see any of my other students struggling to get here on time.”

“Well, I-”

“Or do you simply believe the rules of this school don’t apply to you?” She sneered and giggles erupted around you.

Your cheeks burned and you hung your head, “That’s not what I was saying professor.” you mumbled know your words fell onto emptiness.

“Ten points from Slytherin. Go take a seat next to Diggory.”

You let your mouth fall shut nodding obediently as your blood boiled beneath your skin. Eyes followed you to your seat and didn’t leave until the lesson began. Your cheeks hurt, you pushed your hands upon them attempting to cool the burn of embarrassment. You didn’t even spare a glance to the boy seated next o you, his presence barely registering as you tried to convince the earth to swallow you whole.

You really hated attention.

Cedric Diggory didn’t quite understand why so many looked his way as he passed in the halls. He was good at making friends, his words always seemed to flow so seamlessly from his mouth, he never stumbled over syllables or tripped on his tongue. He was good with people, they liked him, he never gave them a reason to do otherwise.

Students envied him, he knew that. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact that girls and boys found him attractive, he wasn’t stupid. People often treated him like he was anyway, as if his popularity had drained his common sense. It was aggravating to try and prove that his worth went past his reputation again and again.

He always paid mind to you. He was aware of your fame, well your parent’s fame. His eyes like may others had frequently wandered towards you, he had a feeling you hated when they did. Your own were always narrowed into a glare as you did everything in your power to avoid the popularity you had been gifted.

As you sat beside him, your head buried in your hands, teacher continuing with a lesson he should be listening to he felt sorry for you. Sorry that you were so often painted as a self-entitled brat, sorry for the prying eyes and the whispers behind hands.

“I could walk you from potions if you wanted.” The words had spilled from his mouth like an overflowing sink.

Your head snapped towards him, eyes hard as steel as you bored into him. “What?”

Cedric suddenly felt like a fool, something that didn’t happen all that often. He stuttered for a sentence, “I, uhh..” What had he just said to you? It was like his thoughts had been replaced with cotton.”I have the same potions as you, and um you said that you were having a hard time getting through the halls. I could walk with you.”

“Whatever.” you ignored the part of you that thought it might be a half-decent idea and scoffed, “You would only draw more attention.”

The Hufflepuff chuckled, “I suppose you’re not wrong.”

You didn’t answer, eyes now zoned to the front of the room. He let the conversation drop.

If there was one thing that you hated more than attention it was exercise. You disliked exhausting yourself, the grime, and sweat making you feel incredibly dirty as you jogged the edge of the grounds. Your breaths were labored and you felt awkward as your thighs bummed together. Despite all of the discomfort, your head felt clear. Thoughts weren’t plagued but crisp as you listened to the chirp of birds and your own pants. Finally, you gave out, your legs groaning as you halted bending over. Lacing your hands on your knees, you tried to calm your racing heart.

“Oh, hey y/n!”

And your peace was ruined.

You stood up, stuffing your hands in your pockets and trying not to look as fatigued as you felt.

Cedric looked so good it hurt. The sweat on his brow giving him the polished look of a deity. His hair was untamed yet adorable, cheeks stained apple red from the exertion. The sun which was peeking above the horizon framed him, making the boys edge hazy and warm. He smiled down at you, his breaths steady as ever.

You cussed at him not even bothering to lower your voice. You watched his face falter with confusion. “Fuck you.” You repeated, “How do you look so good after running?”

His grin jumped back, “I just stared, I’m only two miles in.”

You were tempted to slap him, “Only.” you cursed him again for good measure.

“Are you heading back towards the school? I could go with you.”

You considered his offer for a brief moment, “Whatever you monster.”

Apparently he took that as a yes because the second you began to jog again he was beside you his pace obviously slowed to fit yours.

“I was actually happy to run into you.” He hummed.

You frowned, “Why?” it was more of a pant than a question.

He shrugged, “You seem nice.”

There were a lot of things you ‘seemed’ nice was not one of them. The side glance you gave him was question enough and you heard him chuckle a bit.

“I know you think you’re all scary and everything but you’re not that bad.”

You scowled, “You don’t. Know. Me.” heavy breaths broke what was supposed to be an intimidating sentence.

He nodded, “I think I’d like to.”

You didn’t respond and instead tried to focus back into your safe world of exhaustion and exhilaration. You managed to reach the front of the school and practically collapsed.

“Are you okay?” Cedric asked his hand landing lightly on your shoulder.

Shoving it off you nodded, “I’m going to get water before I pass out.” you heaved, “Feel free to continue your workout, Diggory.”

“Alright, I’ll see you-” the door shut in his face, “-later.”

Your exhaustion kept you from ripping off the heads a group of first-years who wanted your father’s autograph on your way to class. It faded as you made your way through transfiguration and potions. When dismissed you scrambled from the classroom at a quick pace, the last thing you wanted was to be late to Arithmancy again. Being publicly ridiculed once this week was plenty for you.

You didn’t stop as your name was called behind you, shouldering through a group of students who shot you glares. You heard it again the same voice, closer now and you picked up the pace.

Your shoulder was grabbed and you spun around with such force your bag fell from your shoulder. Quills and ink crashed to the ground and you swore loudly dropping to your knees to pick up the scattered supplies.

Cedric descended beside you helping gather your things. You snatched them from his hands before he offered and continuted down the hall without even a glance in his direction. His long strides brought him to your side.

“You don’t have to worry about being late you know.” He offered you stayed unresponsive. “You’ve still got 6 minutes till class.”

You let out a bothered sigh, “Well if I’m stopped then those minutes go fast.”

Cedric frowned, “Stopped?”

“Yep. It’s always like this at the beginning of the year. The first-years slowly find out who my parents are and want autographs or pictures as if it’s somehow my responsibility to serve them.” Your voice slowly filled with annoyance like a balloon expanding with air, “It’s irritating.”

The boy beside you furrowed his brows, “I can imagine.”

As if on queue a young girl trotted up to you stopping you in your tracks.

“You’re y/n y/l/n right?” Before you could answer she continued, “I was wondering if I could have an autograph from your mother, I saw her in a movie when I was six and I-”

“I’m really sorry but we have to get to class,” Cedric spoke, cutting off the bob child.

Her eyes widened a bit, “Oh sorry, um bye then.”

You gave a half-hearted wave before glancing at the boy beside you, “Thanks.”

He grinned, “It’s no problem.”

Neither of you noticed the eyes which followed you down the hall.

The Weasley twins had a special talent when it came to being bothersome. And they were sure to use it to their full potential, making a point to leave no one out of their troubles. You included. You didn’t know them all too well but after their offer to buy autographs from you and them sell them for a profit they had always stuck in your head.

“Ah, but if it isn’t my favorite celebrity.” Fred grinned his arm draping around your shoulder before being quickly shoved off.

“Well if it isn’t my least favorite red-head.” You respond attempting to return to the open textbook in front of you.

“It’s only natural that you like me more than him.” George grinned sitting beside you.

“Nah, you’re tied for last.” You mumbled scribbling down notes on a messy roll of parchment.

The younger twin frowned, “Are you sure I’m not beating him?”

You looked up at him amusement etched into your features, “Positive.”

Fred popped some of the jelly slugs sitting beside you into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously loud. “So you and Diggory huh?”

You stiffened, glancing up at him.

“I didn’t think he was your type.” George grinned catching one of the candies in his mouth as his twin tossed it over your head.

You scrunched your nose, “What?”

“Oh come on y/l/n, don’t be coy.”

“No reason to be shy, we all know you and the Hufflepuff prince are boning.” the younger giggled.

Your mouth went dry, “What did you just say?”

Fred hummed, “Wow you’re better at acting than I thought, I guess you take after your mother.”

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about.” You sputtered.

“Wait really?”

You nodded.

“So you and Cedric aren’t dating?”

You scoffed, “God no, where in hell did you get that idea?”

The reflections shot glances at each other.

“The whole school thinks you are,” George stated plainly.

You slammed your textbook shut in a vicious snap, eyes from around the library drawing towards you. “That fucker.” You hissed and in a second you were on your feet.

You didn’t have to look very long to find the brunette. He was only a few corridors form the library a small group of people huddled with him.

“Diggory!” Your voice cut the pleasant atmosphere in two.

“Oh hey y/n, I was just looking fo-” Before his sentence could be finished you had snatched him by the tie and began dragging him behind you.

A series of whistles and calls followed you around the corner where you slammed open a door and shoved him into a small closet.

“Y/n whats are you doing?” He asked loosening his tie which you had unintentionally sinched around his neck.

Your hands met his shoulders pushing him back as hard as you could manage. Cedric stumbled, his back hitting the door with a thunk.

“You asshole!” You spat leaning over him, “How dare you?”

Cedric was bewildered, the anger clear on your face in the dull lighting. Your breaths were heavy, the sharp scent of mint hitting him, “I’m sorry what?”

You sneered, “Don’t you dare lie to me Diggory. I know what you did.” You had grabbed his tie again, forcing him to lower his head to meet your eyes.

“What did I do?” He asked, his cheeks feeling unbearably hot from the close proximity.

You scoffed, “I don’t know, how about telling the entire school we’re fucking dating?”

Cedric frowned, “I didn’t tell anyone we were dating.”

Now it was your turn to look baffled, “Then who did?”

Before your question could be answered you were falling forward, the door opening the two of you tumbling out into the sudden overwhelming brightness. You screwed your eyes shut in response, your ears catching the sound of laughter and whistles. You were brought your senses abruptly, the crowd gathered around you giggling behind their hands.

“Damn Cedric, I thought you were classier than a quickie in a closet.” Someone snickered.

You lept off the boy you had been straddling moments before your cheeks burning from embarrassment. Cedric sat up, his own face tinged red as he glared at the Hufflepuff which had spoken.

You shoved your way through the crowd wishing the earth would open up and let you fall into its core. Or at least those gathered around you.

“Wait y/n!”

You didn’t turn instead holding your middle finger in the air, making sure the entirety of the group could see it before you disappeared from sight. By the time Cedric was able to push his way through the crowd to where you had turned you were gone. He cussed letting his head fall into his hands.

Cedric didn’t see you the entirety of the weekend. You weren’t in the hall for meals or out in the cooling September air where many students were finding refuge. Your absence was annoying, the thoughts of your breath fanning over the bridge of his nose, chest pressed into his only worsening the harbored feelings he had buried. Rumors of your relationship continuted to circulate, the scene caused a few days before morphing into lewd stories which made his cheeks bloom with roses. He felt partially responsible for the trouble caused for you, his friends were some of the most active in the gossip.

Cedric knew it was only a matter of time before you would be forced to converse with him. You would never skip a class.

You appeared in potions Monday and managed to convince Snape to let you leave five minutes earlier than the rest of the class. There was no escaping assigned seats in Arithmancy. Or so Cedric thought. You had used your extra time to swap seats with another student now all he could do was bore holes into the back of your styled hair from four seats back. You didn’t even give him a chance during meals, eating quickly or simply never appearing, a girl you were with frequently taking a plate with her as she left instead.

It was aggravating. He knew that both of you barley qualified as acquaintances but having the small amount of progress he had made in your relationship ripped from him less than a week in was cruel.

Cedric was more persistent than you intended him to be. You didn’t quite understand why, you hardly knew each other. Yet he tried to corner you in hallways and stop you in classes. You supposed he probably felt guilty. You almost felt bad for avoiding him.

When he wasn’t present in potions you assumed him sick or skipping. So you didn’t find the need to leave early or rush from the room. You should have known it was a trick. The second you left the room you were trapped, Cedric stood directly in front of you his gaze almost daring you to run.

You sighed rolling your eyes, “Ok fine. You got me.”

“Can we talk?” He asked his hands stuffed into his robe pockets.

“Aren’t we all ready?” You challenged.

He shook his head softly, “Please?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You huffed.

“It will take thirty seconds.”

Your eyes narrowed, you knew it would take longer but your curiosity was killing you, what could he possibly have to say? Your money was on some useless apology.

“Fine.”

You were lead deeper into the dungeons beginning to suspect he was going to murder you where your screams couldn’t be heard until he came to a stop in some far away corridor.

You crossed your arms tapping your foot impatiently, “Well?”

Cedric felt that unfamiliar twist in his stomach as he looked down at you, his hand scratching at the back of his neck, “Well I wanted to say sorry.”

You sneered at this, “Are you serious? If this what you dragged me here for then you can just tell your friends that they are dumbasses with no life of their own so they have to stick their nose in other peoples to stay entertained and leave.”

The Hufflepuff was taken aback, “Oh no that’s not it, umm, you, I mean I have-”

“Spit it out Diggory,” you demanded.

He nodded, “Right, uh I like you y/n.”

Your eyes shot wide.

“And I was just wondering if you would let me take you out.” He finished feeling better now that the words had been spoken. The moment was ruined quickly.

“No.” Your answer was plain.

“Oh.” Cedric wasn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t that.

You sighed, the boy’s face now deflated like a sad puppy. The odd feeling of guilt settled in your stomach, “It’s not because of you.” You assured him, “I mean your talented and hot and nice and everything, it’s just I don’t want to deal with all the shit.”

His cheeks flushed at the complaint but his lips twitched into a frown, “What shit?”

“Ya know.” You spoke gesturing around you, “Your friends and the rumors and everything. I’ve already got enough on my plate, I don’t need anymore.”

Cedric nodded, understanding, “Then give me a chance.”

You hummed a question.

“The astronomy tower tomorrow night, meet me there after curfew and let me prove I’m worth it,” he explained.

You blinked owlishly at him, head tilted slightly to the side, “Seriously?”

“Yeah. One date, no commitment, if you don’t like it can go back to ignoring me and no one will know.”

His offer was tempting. The way his eyes glimmered with hope only making it more enticing. So you gave in, “Alright.”

A smile stretched his lips, “Really?”

You shrugged, “Why not?”

“You won’t regret it.”

Part of you already knew that.

Taglist:

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

@sleepingalaska

@chloe-geoghegan1

Masterlist

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter ships #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagines #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory headcanons #cedric x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #cedric fanfiction

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seventhrounder · 3 years

Text

I went thru my folder with old hockey magazines I had saved from around 2011 to 2015 and came across this one and thought it could be a fun to make a post about now in hindsight.

This is Jääkiekko magazine from May 2012, they always have a section of "99 questions with ..." and in this issue they interviewed Teräväinen.

I’ve translated the questions I found interesting under the cut! It ended up being about half of the interview. (*) are my additions.

On the cover "seuraava superjokeri" means the next super joker, he played for Helsingin Jokerit so it's a word play from that. Under, on the blue print it says: "The 17-year-old forward will become a first round draft pick in the summer. The natural goal scorer can dominate in SM-Liiga as soon as next season."

In the 2nd photo the headline and lead paragraph goes:

"A post with dents* - A year ago Teuvo Teräväinen was known only within a small number of hockey insiders. Few passers-by recognize him now either but after a flashy rookie season the Jokerit sensation is on the radar of every NHL team and is a strong contender to become a first round draft pick. Next season with Jokerit the talented second line center will be one of the main talking points in the SM-Liiga."

(*references the net Teräväinen had in his backyard and into which he practiced his shooting)

3. You've been described as a magician, top scorer, wunderkind and a prodigy. What do you think of these descriptions?

TT: Heh, those are some descriptions yeah. What can I really say? Don't really wanna comment on them much.

4. How nervous are you about the Draft?

TT: I try not to be nervous as best as I can. In a way I don't have anything to be nervous about since I don't care which team picks me or at what number I go.

6. Which is stressing you more, English interviews or physical tests?

TT: Maybe both. Bench press (laughs) and English interviews can be tough.

12. How far along have you planned your career with, for example, your parents or your agent?

TT: Haven't really planned things with others but I've thought about them myself. I try to go step by step and not jump too far ahead.

14. How does it feel to be so young with all the star players in Jokerit?

TT: How to say it? I haven't felt like I was young but a part of the team instead. The team's been very good with me and they haven't been looking down at me like: "oh he's young". It's been fun to play in an experienced team.

15. Is there a generational gap between players?

TT: You can see the age difference, older players look older but we're all childish, at least with our topics.

17. What does a 17-year-old do in the sauna nights of the team?

TT: I actually haven't been in any yet. I've always been at national team's camps or something.

19. Did you get the number you wanted?

TT: I did, yeah. I could've taken #18 but Semir (Ben-Amor) has it. But i'm happy with #86, it's good.

23. What are your strengths as a player?

TT: Offensive play and with that playing with the puck, passing, IQ, power play and skill, just the usual skill - skill with hands.

24. And weaknesses?

TT: They are to do with defensive play, strength and physicality. Battles and such but I think I took a step forward last season. That's a good thing.

25. Have you ever been "pressed into a mold" or has your playing style gotten to develop naturally?

TT: As a kid the play was mostly offensive/attacking, I didn't have to think about playing defence. Up until 15 years old, I got to attack pretty freely. Playing defence became more important when I started to play in A-juniors a couple seasons ago.

26. On a scale from 1 to 10 how determined are you?

TT: Maybe 8, feels like an 8.

32. What kind of role are you planning to take with Jokerit next season?

TT: I think a pretty big one. I try to be a top player and not just take others' example but give others example myself too. So that someone in the team can take something out of the way I do things on the ice and off the ice.

35. If you could pick anyone, who would be your car driver?

TT: Nico Manelius for sure. He's been my driver this season. I've had others too, like Riku Hahl but he's not nearly at the same level. Nico’s clearly the best.

36. What are the most important qualifications to be a good driver?

TT: The car is obviously important. Hahl's car is totally awful, he takes a lot of heat for it from the guys too. I wouldn't dare driving with him. Manelius is a steady performer, never lets you down.

38. What sports did you play as a 10-year-old?

TT: Hockey and floorball, probably football (soccer) during the summers at the time too.

42. When did you decide to focus only on hockey?

TT: So when I stopped playing other sports? Three years ago, before that floorball was kind of a side thing, I played a couple of games in the regular season and playoffs.

45. Do you follow floorball or other sports? Go to games?

TT: I don't go to games but I like to watch floorball on TV, it's an interesting sport. Sometimes I watch football too but I don't follow it much. Feels like they never score there.

47. Have you ever played with a wooden stick?

TT: As a kid I did play with a wooden stick.

49. You won the hockey players' golf tournament last summer even though there were more experienced players too. Are you good with all stick games?

TT: Well, I've been pretty good in all of them. I've played golf for a long time and still play it.

50. How is your swing?

TT: Pretty bold, kind of a hockey swing. I don't really care where the ball goes - as long as it goes far.

52. What do you think of off-ice training?

TT: Let's just say it's more stupid than being on the ice but you still gotta do it to be better on the ice.

56. Which word describes your professional relationship (with his coach, Tomek Valtonen), tranquil or colorful?

TT: Colorful of course. At times we're joking around, other times it's more serious but the relationship is really good.

57. Coaching you has been described in many words: good, bad, worse. What are they?

TT: Heh, well... I won't tell them here. He (Tomek) keeps the discipline during practices but sometimes when things haven't gone to a plan I've had to jump on an exercise bike in the middle of a practice.

58. What have been the reasons?

TT: I'll quote Tomek: "when I haven't been present".

59. Have you ever tried to turn the resistance of the bike to zero?

TT: (Laughs) Of course I have and sometimes I've even succeeded.

60. Describe your diet in three words?

TT: Greasy, healthy and good!

64. Your first name is not common for people your age. How did your parents come up with it?

TT: I actually don't even know. Maybe they didn't want a usual Ville*....

(*very common name for men of all ages in Finland)

66. Which of these is the most important: skill, unexpectedness or courage?

TT: Skill!

68. Your longest video game stint?

TT: Six hours, at least. I've played a lot of War of Duty lately.

72. The dumbest thing that has made you upset in hockey?

TT: Probably if I didn't get an assist on a goal even though I should have. Or even worse is if I score and they mark it down for someone else.

79. Have you had any concussions?

TT: I haven't had any, I've managed to always dodge them.*

(*ouch, tho it's good the recent one is his only as far as i remember)

84. In 2011 Team Finland finished in the 5th place at the U-18 tournament. Why only as 5th?

TT: Because we lost to Team Russia in the quarter final, just as well we could have won that game too.

89. You didn't get to be on the ice to accept the SM-Liiga bronze medal (because of the U-18's). When and where did you get it?

TT: I actually still haven't received it, I don't know where it is.

93. What is the population of Helsinki?

TT: There's like 5 million people in Finland so maybe around 500k in Helsinki? (to be exact 596k) Did i really get it right...?

94. Who's the mayor of Helsinki?

TT: I don't know, I barely know the president.

95. Do you think the municipalities in the capital city area should merge?

TT: Luckily I don't have to decide but they probably shouldn't.

96. What do you check first in the news paper?

TT: The sports section.

97. Your favorite tv show?

TT: Putous* was pretty good, I liked a lot of the characters. The grandma was pretty good.

(*Finnish live improvisation comedy/sketch show (there are still new seasons, the latest just finished). Every actor comes up with a humor character with a catchy phrase and one of them wins. "The grandma" is Marja Tyrni and I just got such flashbacks from typing this sentence.)

98. Last book you read?

TT: I don't read many books. The last book was a study book, a Finnish book. I wrote an essay on Tiki (Esa) Tikkanen's biography. An eventful book, great career and a lot of chirps.

99. Who should we ask the 99 questions next?

TT: Riku Hahl could have good stories, he's also seen a lot of the world.

#teuvo teräväinen #teuvo teravainen #carolina hurricanes #canes #hockey #nhl #mp #i knew i had this mag but i thought it was from 2014 and post draft #i really didn't rmbr i've been following turbo for this many years???#good on 16yo me for spending 8 euros on this tho that was excellent thinking

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bnhasimpgirltm · 4 years

Text

Why Is It That You Only Ever Hurt Me? (Bakugo Katsuki x Reader)

Pairings: Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2130

Genre: Angst? (It seems less angsty than it should but maybe my mental angst meter is all screwed up)

A/N: I had an idea and I acted on it. I hope it’s okay. It’s a pretty common fanfic idea, but I wanted to try and write one of my own. There is a lot of yelling, but I didn’t want to use all caps for loud yelling because it’s kinda annoying to read. Reader has a quirk that allows them to manifest emotional energy into a type of physical energy (i.e. Thermal, Gravitational, Sound)

Read Part 2 HERE

-------------------------------------

“Why are you so damn clingy all the time?” Bakugo shouted out, alerting everyone in the common room of your current situation. You had these fights with Bakugo quite often, small things that were a little bit annoying. Your ‘clingyness’ was never the topic of any of them. Usually they resolved after you both got over yourselves and apologized, but little did you know, this wasn’t going to be a small fight.

Laughing cruelly, you roll your eyes. You weren’t even being clingy, just asking him if you two could go on a date later, to which he responded that he ‘had better things to do than go out with you’. He should have been grateful that comment didn’t set you off, but of course he had to take it further and call you clingy.

Narrowing your eyes at your supposed boyfriend, you stood there with your fists clenched by your side and the muscles in your face tensed up. It was taking everything you had not to let all of your anger out at Bakugo, because if you did, your quirk would most likely injure everyone in the common room.

Breath. Slowly. Deep breath in,

1. . .

2. . .

3. . .

Exhale. Slowly. Repeat.

“Aren’t you going to say something? Or are you going to just stand there like a dumb bitch?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

You let the dam crack, just a little , and the anger dripped out like a faucet. Everyone felt it, and they were all waiting for your anger to cause your heavily emotionally based quirk to lose control.

“You know what?” Your ‘yelling’ was barely above a regular speaking voice right now. You were still trying to protect everyone else in the common room, not losing control fully. Not yet, at least.

“What? Are you going to say something about how I’m an awful boyfriend? About how I neglect you and never want to go out with you?” Bakugo has a smirk plastered on his face, and his smug look makes you want to punch him into orbit.

Your lip is still trembling, and your eyes are starting to water, the overwhelming sense of anger that you felt at the moment spilling from your eyes.

I will keep my emotions in control. I will keep my emotions in control.

You didn’t want to hurt anyone in the common room, especially not Bakugo.

Bakugo steps forward, yelling in your face, “Say something!”

“Fine!” The dam broke. Your quirk causing the anger to become thermal energy, making the room hotter than a sauna. “You’re an egocentric, self-centered, tunnel minded, asshole-”

Bakugo cut you off, starting to yell again in his deep, threatening voice.

“What the hell did you just call me?” Explosions popped in his palms, an intimidating threat to others, but to you, it was just a childish antic of his.

You humored him, starting to repeat what you said earlier. “Do I need to repeat myself? I said you were and egotis-”

He cut you off again, “It was a rhetorical question! I heard what you said the first time! God, were you always this shit brained?”

That one stung a little, but you ignored it and kept going. “Were you always this selfish?”

“You think it’s selfish of me to have a goal? At least I’m better than you! You’re just another damn extra in my way that has an incoviniently powerful quirk. You’re nothing without me,” he laughs and continues. “You’re worse than that half-and-half, icy-hot bastard. At least he uses half of his quirk. You don’t even try to use yours even half way. Maybe instead of asking me to go out again you should train so you can become more than a sidekick to a D-list hero.”

That was it. You thought that you couldn’t get any angrier, but here it was, punching you in the face, begging you to say something offensive back. Bakugo knew why you didn’t want to push your quirk to the max during training. He knew that you constantly had to worry about hurting your friends. He knew, and here he was, using it against you.

“You know exactly why I can’t push my quirk too far during training,” you say, trying to remediate the already out of hand situation, and also trying to push the anger to the back of your mind where it belonged. It suceeded, because the room slowly went back to room temperature, and the students of Class 1A in the common room visibly relaxed.

“I do know the exact reason, and you know what I think? I think it’s a load of bullshit.”

This shocked you. Bakugo was always so supportive of you and understood when you had to hold back sometimes.

“Excuse me?” You ask him, your anger reheating the room, making everyone tense again.

“Didn’t you hear me the first time? I said it’s bullshit,” he repeats, emphasizing the ‘bullshit’ part of the sentence.

“You don’t know anything about my quirk! You don’t know how hard it is to con-” Once again he cuts you off. You should have left this conversation ten minutes ago, yet your pride wasn’t letting you. You wouldn’t let him win.

“You always whine and bitch about how hard it is to keep your quirk in control, but the only reason you can’t control it is because you’re a lazy extra who has no goals. You’re weak and a constant pain in the ass, and you’re so damn pathetic that you have to cling to me all the time because no one cares about you if I’m not there,” he scoffs and starts to turn away.

He absolutely does not get the right to walk away from this conversation.

“How could you say that about me?” You ask, tears brimming at your eyes. At this point you were more hurt than angry, but the mixed emotions running through your mind could seriously make your quirk act up.

“Because,” he stops for a moment, as if he’s thinking about his words, “I never loved you.”

Your heart shatters. Dumbfounded, you stare at him, the tears that you held back earlier escaping from your eyes and cascading like waterfalls down your face, the energy of your emotions shaking the room violently. You don’t care though.

“Was any of it real?” You ask, your voice trembling.

“None of it. You don’t mean shit to me,” he speaks at a normal volume for once, something that you wanted him to do more often.

You just didn’t think that it would be in a situation like this.

“I hope you have fun pushing people away Bakugo, because when you get to the top, you’ll realize that it’s pretty lonely up there. Maybe you’ll tell yourself that you couldn’t have both relationships and success, but just know that I would have been with you all the way.” You snap at him, but it’s oddly calm. Taking the finishing blow, you say, “You’re the weak one Bakugo. You’re too weak to show your emotions to others, to pursue things other than your goal to become the number one hero. I hope you’re happy with yourself Bakugo.”

For once, the explosive blonde didn’t have anything to say.

You walk up the stairs, taking your broken energy with you back to your room.

“Bakugo, you obviously upset (y/n). They don’t want to talk to you right now,” Jiro, your close friend, glares at him, and he glares back.

Wordlessly, Bakugo follows you up the stairs, ignoring Jiro’s statement from a minute ago, and presses his ear to your door.

You were crying. Sobbing, actually, loudly, something you never did in front of people, no one except him. Usually you could restrain your emotions, somehing that you learned as a part of your training. He heard you scream, then go back to sobbing, and decided that he needed to apologize now. Fuck giving you time to cool off, he didn’t mean anything he said. Once again, he let his anger get the best of him, and this time, the consequences were too much for him to handle.

“(Y/N), let me in,” he says, knocking at your door.

“God just fuck off Bakugo!” You yell through the door between sobs.

“I didn’t mean anything I said babe. Let’s talk this out okay?” He tries to sound kind, but it comes off as annoyed and it pisses you off to an endless extent.

“I don’t want to talk it out, go away,” you choke out.

Pushing him away was so hard for you. Every part of your heart belonged to him and it hurt so much when he tore it out and stomped the pieces on the floor. It hurt so much when he said he never loved you.

“I love you so much and I didn’t mean anything I said. I was angry for fucks sake,” he’s yelling through the door now, having a hard time keeping his emotions in check.

You swing the door open, your eyes meeting his, and you see a relieved look cross his face.

“Thank god you’re not mad at me. Let’s go on that date you talked about-”

This time you were the one who cut him off.

“I didn’t open the door so you could apologize Bakugo,” you snapped at him, making the infamous Bakugo flinch. “I opened the door so I could tell you that we’re done.”

“You’re fucking joking. Tell me you’re joking,” he yells, the attitude from earlier already rising again.

“All you do is train and pin for that spot at the top. You never were able to make time for me because you thought I would always be there to run back to you. Well news flash bitch, I’m leaving now.” The edge in your voice is tinted with a tremble, and Bakugo notices.

“You don’t fucking mean that.” Bakugo grabs your hand. “I love you so much and I know I never said it enough. I love you and I know you love me too (y/n). Please say it back.”

Bakugo had never begged for anything in his life, yet here he was, completely at your mercy.

“That’s the problem,” you start, “I love you with everything that I have, but all you do is hurt me. The fighting, the yeling, the neglect, and I still run back to you. Tell me Bakugo; Why is it that you only ever hurt me?”

There. You said it back, just not in the way he expected.

Your voice projected through the hallway, filled with agony, longing, and sadness.

He never wanted you to feel like this. He promised to protect you from these types of feelings, yet here he was, making you feel the very feelings that he vowed to protect you from.

Once again, Bakugo was speechless.

“That’s what I thought,” you begin to close the door, laughing darkly, and leaving your hollowed-out soul for Bakugo to look at as a reminder of how royally he fucked up.

As the door shut, Bakugo stood in place, staring at it for hours. When he got tired of standing, he sat with his back to the door, hearing sobs rock you for what seemed like forever

At midnight, Kirishima and the rest of the Bakusquad snuck out of the dorms and came to check on Bakugo.

There was no Bakugo in that hallway.

All they saw was a boy, a boy who had lost something so dear to him that the loss had torn him into two. A boy who had torn down his walls for someone so important to him, only to be crushed by the bricks as it all came crashing down around him. A boy who in the process of destroying the very thing that he loved, had self-destructed himself.

Little did the broken boy know that on the other side of the door, there was another person, a person more broken than he was, a person who despite their heart being torn out and stomped on by the person who they gave it to, still loved the broken boy.

Little did the broken boy know, you also had your back to the door, but you weren’t sobbing anymore, just staring off into the darkness of your room, not even bothering to turn the light on.

He didn’t know you were almost back to back with him, the only thing separating you being the thin layer of the door, until he heard you speak.

You said the same phrase that you said to him earlier, except this time, it was hollow and cold. Despite that fact, it hit the broken boy ten times harder than it did the first time.

“Why is it that you only ever hurt me?”

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whydoeseverythinghurt · 3 years

Text

Someone tell me Lower Decks gets better

Edit: So I am hearing good things from very angry people, and I think that means that it’s fine.

I know that a lot of people like Lower Decks, and I think in isolation, I would be one of them, but this is supposed to be Star Trek, right? I like Rick and Morty’s particular brand cynicism, and hopelessness, and I know a lot of the people working on Lower Decks come from there, but that just isn’t Star Trek.

Disclaimer: I only saw the first episode, so most of this can be discounted if that isn’t an accurate depiction of the show as a whole.

Star Trek started off as a ‘perfect’ utopian future, that was about what its creators thought we should aspire to. But from the get go we are shown that there are many issues with it, and that it is a utopia because someone is always fighting against the bad actors, working to improve life, and deal with all those issues. Star Trek is about reform from the inside.

Kirk and Spock both think the Admiralty, the Starfleet Code of Conduct and even the Prime Directive are needlessly restrictive, so what do they do? They find loopholes.

Spock tells Commodore Decker that he won’t stand for the endangerment of the crew, and if he wants to call it mutiny he can do so the second they get back to civilization, where Spock will be allowed to plead his case. Kirk is told that all the Court Martial business can be swept under the rug if he’s willing to give up his pride, and he says no. He forces them to have to go through the process, so that he can plead his case, but also to demonstrate that the system should work, it shouldn’t ignore issues.

Picard and River find out that the Admiralty are being controlled by worms, and take it upon themselves to stop the damage that they are doing. (Such a Star Trek sentence, I know.)

Deep Space Nine as it progresses makes the show about how the ‘utopia’ is based on colonialist ideals, and leaves behind the most vulnerable in society. In the beginning this is done with the justification that if they help the people suffering and being discriminated against, then they may lose a potential ally, or gain an enemy. The government decides that it isn’t worth the risk, and let’s people suffer.

But Deep Space Nine is not just as amazing as it is because of the Holocaust metaphors, its also because it pushes at the moral fabric of the Federation. It asks the question “What happens when push comes to shove, and your perfect society descends into war?” And it shows the fallout, and it shows the toll on people’s lives, and it shows that even when you aren’t living in a perpetual state of war it’s very difficult to go back.

Voyager asks “What happens when no one is looking? What happens when all you have are your ideals and morals that come from a society you are no longer attached to (that we as the audience know, no longer exists)? Do you sacrifice your morals so that you can get back to your utopia? In fact, do you sacrifice your ideals for your utopia as a whole. Or would sacrificing them make it something other than a utopia?”

Haven’t seen all of them yet, so: Discovery says “What happens when you make the wrong moral judgment (or depending on interpretation, the right one, but no one allows you to go far enough)? What happens when you are the scapegoat that they blame an entire war, on? Even one that has brewing since before you were born. What do you do when they place the blame squarely on your shoulders, and solely at your feet? What do you do when the one person who gave you a chance to prove yourself turned out to be lying the entire time, and actually wanted you to be what everyone else thought you were?

“What do you do afterwards? How you trust someone again after that kind of betrayal? What do you do when some goodie two shoes, who has never seen the horror that you have, comes waltzing in and trying to apply their morals to your life? How could they possibly win your trust?” That one gets a definitive answer, they show their convictions, even when no one is watching, they say, “we have to do the right thing.”

It goes on to ask several others, (from what I know) which are in some ways similar to later seasons of Deep Space Nine, “What do you do when the utopia you loved and fought and bled, and that people died for, is gone? How willing are you to fight to get it back?”

Lower Decks introduces a character who sees the moral failings of Starfleet, shows them to other people and then encourages them to give up, and not try to make the situation better. They have influence, and could easily seize power, but what do they do? Nothing. They watch as people who should not be in charge remain in power and do nothing about it, and discourage anyone who wants to try. They don’t want things to be different, they want to rebel against their parents. And that’s it, not corrupt institutions, not bad protocols, or worse people in charge. They want their parents to notice them.

That is not Star Trek. Star Trek is about hope in the most dire of circumstances. It’s about persevering and going against the odds, even when you know you’re probably going to die anyway, but you still have to try.

It is about not just fighting for yourself, but for your family, your people, your crew, caring about the faceless and the nameless, the ‘lesser’, those that cannot fight for themselves. Standing up to and against the institutions which did the wrong thing, which did not protect the people they should have. (The waters get muddy with the different framings of the maquis, but you are meant to be sympathetic to their ideas, and morals, if nothing else.)

Nihilism has its place in Star Trek, (a cynical outlook can be seen as one of the most common character traits across series.) Existential dread has its place too, but it has to be tempered with that hope. And that hope isn’t unwavering, in fact most characters at one point or another lose it, briefly or for longer periods of time, but in those moments they rely on those around them to keep the faith. They continually pass the torch of whose responsibility it is. One of the most important things is that there is always someone who has hope.

And I would probably like Lower Decks if it seemed at all willing to explore the idea, “Well, what do you do when hope is completely lost? What do you do what there is no one left? And the thing you love is a shell of either what it used to be, or what it aspired to?”

Instead, all that is left of a green character who has never encountered that adversity and has their ideals forcefully beaten out of them. The central authority in their life tells them how they are wrong to cling to them (and then that person is demonstrated to be right.) I would be interesting to see the story if they wished to explore a slow dawning realization that hope is really lost, or even asked, “What do you do when there is nothing to hope for? And no one left to have that hope?”

To me it seems like they heard about Star Trek from parodies, and wanted to make jokes, so they set its central themes on fire, and then didn’t want to explore the implications. Just play in its dead carcass, and don’t you dare think about what it once was.

I know that Enterprise had its issues, but most people say that it improved greatly with the last season (besides the last episode), and say that it could have done more and been better if the network would have just kept it around a bit longer. People have their criticisms of Discovery and Picard, but I get the impression that they truly are labors of love.

Lower Decks gives me the feeling that it is just a blatant cash grab made by people who didn’t know, or understand the property and just had to do something with it. I know that their is diversity in the series, but I wish that I could say definitively that that the woman in the burka was actually meant to show the same sentiments as Chekhov in the Original Series. (As I remember seeing someone suggest as a viable option for how the New movies could handle Anton Yelchin’s death.) My thoughts right now is that it’s just an attitude of “Well, Star Trek is about diversity in thought, culture, and race, so we should make the characters diverse, because it’s a utopian future, right?” With no intention to to continue the way of dealing with current issues through allegory.

I hope I’m wrong. As far as I know it is a good show, but right now I don’t think it’s a good Star Trek one.

(Although again take that with a grain of salt, because I have seen so little, and I didn’t particularly like the Orville, or what I’ve seen of it. Mostly, because it felt clunky, unnatural, boring and like they took half remembered plot points/storylines and placed new characters into them. The heart was there, but the thought didn’t seem to be.)

Tl;dr: Can someone tell me if Lower Decks has the characters fight back against Starfleet, or the bad elements in it? Or even if it explores why that isn’t an option? Why they have lost all hope?

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #star trek ds9 #star trek deep space 9 #star trek deep space nine #star trek voy #star trek voyager #star trek disco #star trek discovery #star trek lower decks #star trek meta #long post

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warmau · 3 years

Text

love struck!au x tbz

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez *this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you

then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building

he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing

and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him

if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two

it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date

the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around

and you’re like wh-

and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes

once again you are like ?

and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like

let me step in and translate:

sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow

when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you

not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like

nah

if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it

and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome

even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people

and jacob is just like *blinks*

but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible

which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-

juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?

you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times

polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual

that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too

until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a

nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-

three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak

but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint

younghoon

keeps his mouth shut

literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you

he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause

chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____

until you walk out of the room and then he’s like

“-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”

and chanhee is like what the hael just happened

you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1

he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears

maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you

but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing

sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him

but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-

you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you

so you apologize for bothering him

and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window

because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying

“no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”

it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him

and you are so flustered but all you can say back is

“you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want...........”

younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you

you: giddy

tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again

hyunjae

there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE

and it comes at full force

hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you

sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him

it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming

and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested

but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny

and he sprawls across your lap like a cat

happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you

really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around

and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special

and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them

and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!

and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything

or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance

“if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”

juyeon

return to kindergarten romance

literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them

and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls

if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere

but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to

but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever

everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes

and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion

and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?

and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that

maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah

its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago

and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

gift giving

nonstop gift giving

like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits

but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you

and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own

and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-

all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of

he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it

and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t

you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you

and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return”

and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats

and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious

and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me

and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want

and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute

(but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work

much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off

no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is

and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one

because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands

less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like

he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath

his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics

its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you

laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side

GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP

the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him

like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you

and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like

“don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”

and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything

and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like

“AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it

you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me

and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first

and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out

honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling

and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?

and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?

and chanhee crosses his arms like no......but like......i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns

tbz: :/

either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you

so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention

and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him

and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee

till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait

and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much

and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like

“oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”

inside he is screaming

haknyeon

does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan

for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone

its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around

haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress

it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop

haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you

and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-

either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time

he does not prepare for what actually happnes

which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!

and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait

haknyeon.exe has stopped working

because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be

so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and.........no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings

jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3

sunwoo: ok nerd........keep it moving

and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind

sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?

everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him

but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend

and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE

he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours

and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :(

to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything

you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?

it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change

for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like

all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like

well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes

both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy

one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch

kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash

eric

thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend

for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it

but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves

and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place

so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman

who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested

and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz

and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute

and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric

and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?

and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on

and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?

and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have

and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like

i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

#the boyz au #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz au #tbz imagines #member: the boyz #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz #sfw #the way younghoon is the ideal man: nothing to say just heart eyes in a stupor JK trgkdls

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